#cause there are a handful of hayley songs i don’t have saved

[ignorancelive]

paramore besties i’m curious

+ feel free to elaborate or comment in the replies/tags/my askbox, i just like to know things

[fatfables]

Fat People Can Sing Too (Part Six)

Ben's journey towards becoming a huge star continues with a romantic encounter...

On the day of the semi-final he begged David to tell him how much he weighed. He tried to hide his disappointment upon hearing that he was 21 stone. He felt fatter. Brian and David were very pleased.

When he entered the stage to sing ‘The Noisy Eater’ by The Avalanches there was an audible gasp from the studio audience. The song was a bad choice for his voice but Brian had insisted that it worked lyrically. Ben struggled through it and tried to shuffle about the stage making rap star-like movements with his hands. Even his hands were fat now. His palms were swollen and his fingers porky. He was back to wearing a plain white tee and blue jeans, XXXL and 42 inch respectively. They were of course too tight. His belly was now truly beach ball sized and bounced up and down as he bent his knees to the beat. His sexy ass, that had caused such a reaction the previous week, was this time kept safely in his pants, however, it was clearly several inches wider, hung lower, and filled out further. It was just massively bigger. Millions of housewives commented on it to their husbands. One, a nice lady called Hayley, did so only to distract herself from the massive boner that she had noticed her teenage son was rocking. Ben sang, “In my stomach, I heard a voice. It said, Please feed me, my tank is on empty. I’m seeing things so please don’t tempt me.” As he sang he subconsciously rubbed the top of his swollen rounded out stomach and it rumbled loudly with greed. His microphone picked this up, but he had no idea, he just kept singing about all the delicious foods he wanted to consume. His performance was met with mild applause and he left the stage feeling concerned.

David was waiting for him in the green room, he gave Ben a hug and a box of Cadbury’s Milk Tray. Ben whinged that the song was a bad choice and that it had been by far his worst performance. David didn’t seem worried at all, “We’re after the sympathy vote, you won’t get enough of them if you’re too good. I promise you it’s gonna be fine.” Ben was absentmindedly eating the chocolates that David had given him when Brian entered. “That was fucking perfect!” he said and gave Ben a pat on the back that caused his flab to jiggle. Ben explained that he thought he had sucked terribly. “You still don’t fucking get it, do you?” Brian furrowed his brow and launched into a rant, “We were after the fucking sympathy vote Ben! Yes, it’s a bad choice of song, that’s why it was so fucking perfect! A huge sad fat diabetic with a binge eating disorder singing about how he can’t stop eating. It will make perfect sense when you admit your disorder on stage. You better fucking let the tears flow!” Ben felt like he already wanted to cry. Part of him also really wanted to tell Brian what he thought of him and that he wasn’t a sad fat diabetic because he didn’t fucking have diabetes and he didn’t have a binge eating disorder! He didn’t have the energy though. He just couldn’t be bothered anymore. He ate seven more chocolates before mumbling something about just wanting to be famous.

He was called on stage with the other five contestants. The judges gave their feedback and said that it had been his worst vocal performance. The studio audience booed. At least they still seem to like me, he thought. The judges voted him into fifth place. Only the strength of his previous performances had prevented them from placing him last. It was now definitely up to the housewives of England to save him and save him they did. He received 852,000 public votes. He was astounded. Maybe Brian had been right all along?

The presenter asked him, “How has it been coping with all the extra media pressure this week?” This was a euphemism for ‘What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you keep getting so disgustingly fat and drunk in public?’ And, ‘How the fuck can you keep putting on so much weight?’ Ben gave the exact answer that Brian had prepared for him. He clarified again that he didn’t have an alcohol problem but that he had been struggling since the death of his darling gran and that he had turned to food as a comfort. He then preemptively apologised if anything he said before had misled anyone but that he was only just managing to admit it to himself, let alone the general public. He had now though come to the realisation that he did have a binge eating disorder and that it was only perpetuating his unhappiness. He begged everybodies forgiveness as tears ran down his massive round cheeks. The presenter hugged him, told him how brave he was and that he was an inspiration to millions of overweight people. He got a standing ovation. He had somehow managed to lie perfectly. The tears were of happiness. He was totally fucking elated.

There was only a small private party that night in Ben’s room. For the first few hours it was Ben, David, and Brian but then Brian had suddenly left after an argument with David in the bathroom. Ben had gotten drunk for the first time since the previous week's party and negative headlines. His head had been a little too fuzzy to fully listen in and understand what it was about. He mostly just heard Brian swearing a lot but David had clearly mentioned finding something in Brian’s bag. Ben tried to question him about this once Brian had slammed the door and stomped off down the corridor but David wasn’t interested in answering him, instead he completely shocked Ben by giving him a slow sensitive kiss on the cheek while fingering a Mr Kipling’s Bakewell Tart into his mouth.

David was still on shift and ensured that Ben ate an absolute shit ton. Now was the best time to attack the food front as Ben was drunk and extremely happy. In total he ate three boxes of bakewell tarts, two tubes of pringles, cajun chicken and chips, four mango sorbets, garlic mushrooms, a double pepperoni pizza, a second box of milk tray, a litre of strawberry yoghurt, and three double cheeseburgers. This took about six hours in total along with the nine or ten pints of beer. He lay on his bed feeling giddy, horny, and bloated as fuck. His beach ball belly had expanded yet again, its huge round shape held together perfectly as he relaxed on his back. This mountain of fat moved gently up and down as he breathed in and out. It blocked the view of his feet. Ben felt so big and so stuffed. His aching stomach was packed far too tight, he could feel the digestive pain deep inside him, a sensation he was growing to like. David came over to him to say goodbye. Ben looked him in the eye and very softly asked if he would kiss him again. David thought about it for a few seconds before leaning forward and kissing Ben on his full fat lips. He held the kiss longer than he had intended to, allowing Ben time to put his tongue in. It felt better than he had expected. Ben grabbed him with his fat heavy arms and pulled him up on top of his mountainous frame. Ben was so comfortable, like a human mattress, with a huge pile of soft pillows placed in the middle of it. They kept kissing and David felt his dick harden. As it grew it began to stick into Ben’s belly fat. It felt so smooth and sensual. A strange mixture of heavy pressure and squeezy softness enveloped his cock and he instinctively began to dry hump it. Both men moaned with pleasure. David’s hands started feeling their way around Ben’s plump upper torso. Although slightly disgusted by it David couldn’t help but keep fingering and stroking the roll of fat that seemed to hang off of Ben’s sidemoobs. It was gross but engrossing. He squirmed on top of Ben for several minutes with Ben running his chubby hands over his hair and upper back. Ben asked David to fuck him and was kinda suprised when he said, “No, you fuck me.” To the best of Ben’s knowledge David had always been a top and when he said so David just softly replied, “Normally yes, but not with you. With you, you need to fuck me!”

It took real effort but Ben rolled onto his side. David fell off him and into the soft bedspread with a kerplumpfff. He lay on his front, buried his face in a pillow, pushed his ass tantalising up into the air and arched in his back. Ben heaved his ample frame around and over David. He wanted to bend down to lick his friend's asshole but his round bulbous belly was in the way and it hurt when he applied any pressure to it by bending forward. He spat at David’s ass and rather unceremoniously forced three round fat fingers straight up into it. David screamed in pain and bit down hard on his pillow, eyes tightly shut. Ben moved his fingers in and out and the pain began to ease. He pulled his fingers out and pushed his dick in with a surprising amount of dexterity for his now almost ridiculous size. Thrusting was a real effort so he did it slow and smooth. He couldn’t believe that he was really making love to his friend. Holding his own body weight up with his arms proved to be impossible after only thirty seconds or so. He could feel the weakened upper-arm muscles, buried deep under inches of fat, shaking with agony. David was lucky that Ben managed to lower himself into a lying position on top of him rather than just suddenly collapsing. Even so Ben was heavy as fuck. Over twenty stone of him pinned David’s skinny ass down to the bed. David felt like he was being buried alive. His chest hurt as he struggled to breath from the pressure that Ben’s mass inflicted on his ribcage. Ben’s massive beach ball belly pushed down in the small of his back with such force that he felt like he was being contorted into a V shape. With each thrust the monstrous belly heaved forward, placing yet more pressure onto his own thin abdomen. Ben’s fat rolled over his sides, it encompassed and enveloped him. David imagined himself being sucked into his friend's gut by its gravitational force, slowly turning him into even more belly fat. Ben felt fucking huge as he crushed his friend. His rarely used asshole felt so tight and good. The pressure on his massively stuffed belly was immense. Its hard centre was strained full of thousands of calories, packed tight and expanding like an overinflated tyre ready to pop. Ben could feel all of his new fat tingling. He couldn’t believe how sensitive his skin had become to even the slightest touch. He squeezed his own beautifully swollen breast and sighed loudly. His heart thumped heavily in his chest and he felt it starting to pick up pace. When he released, with his final thrust forward, it felt like his entire ten gallon belly was emptying of cum. David sank even further into the mattress and let out a muffled cry. Ben rolled his huge round body off his flattened friend and lay on his side next to him. David’s face was bright red, he was sweating profusely, and wore an expression that somehow put across a feeling of equal pain, pleasure and relief. “I love you, you’ve made my dreams come true,” Ben said to him before they fell asleep.

[staylavendertea]

young avengers characters and relationships as songs

billy kaplan : season of the witch by donovan and mr. sandman cover by joe p, it’s fun, there’s that groove, it’s witches and it’s dreams; a total billy kaplan jamming out in his room in his boyfriends too big shirt 10 at night moment with that magical and just like ,, witchy billy vibe i can’t explain through words that i love dearly, it also just gives me a connection between him and wanda i really love, the family witches between soul mother and soul son and that bass in mr sandman for some reason screams billy

teddy altman : space girl by frances forever need i say more, that song screams smiling golden tall boy theodore in overalls and sweaters, prince charming of space deserves the song space girl, the song is soft like teddy is, all hugs and kisses, that is until “stupid boyfriend putting himself into stupid danger all the stupid time” and “why do i try he never listens” “i heard that” “sure now he listens” then it becomes all hugs, kisses, bickering with the boyfriend, and threats of mauling people, but that’s for childrens crusade and family matters arc to tell

tommy shepherd : rebels by call me karizma but also steady, as she goes by the raconteurs mostly just for that guitar and music, i heavily head canon billy as the pianist and tommy as the guitar and bass player all the way and steady, as she goes screams tommy’s kind of music, the song rebels because that boy is the biggest rebel around and i wouldn’t be surprised if he was an arsonist

eli bradley : i just wanna shine by fitz and the tantrums i honestly had a bit of a hard time finding a song that really perfectly fit eli, but i think this one really hits the spot - eli is totally the boy that’s just trying his best and live up to his and everyone else’s expectations, i think he’s actually a softie and repressed nerd that believes heavily in doing what is right and i think that this song encompasses that, i really miss eli bradley thank you for coming to my tedtalk

cassie lang : blackbird by the beatles (cover by dodie) cassie gives me total adorable and soft but such a cool person dodie vibes, but i think the song blackbird fits cassie on so many levels, especially the lyrics as growing up after losing her dad, getting and learning to control her powers, and growing as a super hero she knows her dad would be so proud of, i love every single one of the young avengers but mygod cassie

nate richards : run boy run by woodkid and something better by hidinin i feel for nate, that poor kid literally is running away and trying to kill his future because he knows it’s a bad road and honestly he’s so brave for that and it’s all thanks to nate that we got all the young avengers in the first place so credit will be payed where credit is due, nate is really just a clumsy teenager thats a total nutcase and a bit clueless without that common sense sometimes that will think a pack sour troll gummies and a bottle of gateorade is a well rounded training diet but he’s also a descendent of sue and reed richards and what’s there to expect from child geniuses

kate bishop : love club by lorde and ribs by lorde i kinda just stumbled upon these honestly forgotten songs in my playlist and was pleasantly surprised how perfectly kate bishop these songs are, the lyrics most likely mean something else but i see the love club as the young avengers and “go get punched for the love club” just sounds like a kate bishop thing to say, these songs give me vibes of kate bishop in a rolled sleeves black and purple flannel and black jean shorts with scuffs and bandaids on her elbows and knees, probably also a developing black eye and bloody nose but lookin badass per usual

david alleyne : karma by ajr i picked this one for david because the second i heard it david was immediately the person i thought of when listening to it, i haven’t read many comics with david in them, i’m searching tho, but i am reading the current x factor and david just goes through a lot poor dude just wants to learn and help with what he can and i love him every moment for it

america chavez : a good song never dies by saint motel and dead girl in the pool by girl in red i honestly don’t know much about america besides some basic background stuff and some her character and personality since i haven’t been able to get my hands on some ya v2 issues besides what i’ve seen online but what i have seen of her i already love her and know she is so badass and a bit chaotic but in the best way possible from the little i do know about america’s character i think these songs just fits both the vibes of how she presents and holds herself but also her personality, america is a good song that just never dies are vibes i will happily live with

loki : run the world!!! by dayglow i haven’t really read much of loki in the comics, the versions of them i know the best being the actual norse myth god and movie loki and i know how the movies can be with their comic book characters, but from what ive heard about kid and teenager loki is that they’re a little punk and this song seems to just fit that perfectly

jonas : growing pains by coin i honestly didn’t know that there was more to jonas besides ya v1 and childrens crusade but now i’m intrigued, but this song just speaks jonas to me who i was also calling judas for like ten minutes without realizing i had a totally wrong name, but from what i read and his whole thing with cass, i think growing pains very much fits a mr. jonas

now for the relationships/ships - this post is so long i am so sorry for all the reading but i’m having fun -

david and tommy : affection by between friends im not even sure completely why but the music just screams david and tommy’s vibes, especially how tommy is usually head canonized in relationships, *chiefs kiss* of a song

nate and cassie and jonas : in the middle by dodie this song is literally the three of them, like perfectly, the lyrics fit to a t and it’s literal perfection for them

billy and teddy : pleaser by wallows for how much i love them i surprisingly had a hard time finding a song for them, i know at one time i heard and had a song that was perfect but i can’t remember it all, but i think pleaser fits just as nice, it fits their personalities and the music itself is the vibe they give off to me : imma make an edit from this post previously cause i’ve been thinking about and i would like to add the song leaves by joe p cause it just fits too well, especially when looking at billyteddy fan art whilst listening to it, it’s too good : HI THIS ANOTHER EDIT IMSORRY but it literally took weeks to remember but now i remember what the original song for them i had picked - electric love by borns - it also gives me billy lightning powers vibes and i do adore some billy lightning powers, i think it would be so cool to see them mixed in with his reality warping ones

eli and nate : talk too much by coin honestly it’s them, it’s a vibe they both argue and to each other, talk way too much, i’m calling it they kissed like at least once just to see how that would go - probably arguing who was the better boyfriend when they were both single

eli and kate : falling for u by peachy! and mxmtoon this song is very eli and kate for me, especially the beginning of their relationship not relationship, was that ever really established what was happening there ?? but this song fits perfectly amongst the bickering and racking numbers of how many times they’ve saved each other’s asses

kate and america : given it all by hayley kiyoko and midnight love by girl in red i love this ship and i have no idea if there was ever a thing happening between them or if it was pure fandom but it’s amazing and i love it, hayley kiyoko and girl in red is an of course and i think these songs speak them

- now just the young avengers as a group -

leaves by joe p a song that is totally just a hang out and drive all around all night as teenagers without a care in the world song and can totally see the gang jamming out to it

hey barbara by IV of spades this song literally speaks “hey did you watch that one beach episode” sunny and everyone vibing and hanging out, i can totally imagine tommy trying to get david to dance this and the attempts made is hilarious

teenagers and na na na by my chemical romance now last but certainly not least mcr because of course mcr, these kids can definitely be punks when they wanna be, especially when they’re mutant/alien/super hero teenagers that will literally do what they see fit, all in good manners of course

whhoooopp this was a lot longer than what i was initially expecting to make but after a few hours of song surfing and trying to make tumblr typing fonts work with me we’re finally here, this was just something fun for me since i associate music with everyone, but if you’ve read this far and wanna mention a song you think fits, totally put it out there, share the music !!

[myownworstenemyyy]

Congrats on your milestone!!!🎉🎉🎉I really have loved getting to see your blog grow! Since this is a celebration, the only thing I can offer is an idea that has been swimming in my head since forever. AND I know if you do it you will do it justice and make it amazing with your lovely brain. So with that being said: 🎶 + Din + Wicked Game (I've been obsessed with James Vincent McMorrow's version, but all of them are *chef's kiss*) Love you, your face, and your writing😘💖 CONGRATS AGAIN!!! 🎉✨😊

thanks so much, doll! and omg this SONG 😩👌 i never knew how badly i needed it in my life lol i hope you like the fic it inspired me to write (i apologize for any pain this one may cause 😅). thanks for requesting! 💜 

warnings: mentions of blood/injury ; death (descriptions of dying) ; Angst™; back at it again with a cliché last line ; idk how to refer to Greef Karga so I call him Greef here, please don’t @/ me

ship: Din Djarin x Reader

masterlist | tag lists

Wicked Game

Din always knew his life would be a short one—that Mandalorians don’t exactly have the luxury of growing old and living a full life. He accepted the fate his creed bestowed upon him long ago, but he never realized how painful it would be.

Not physically—in fact, he can hardly feel anything as he lies against the giant slab of duracrete in what’s left of the cantina. Right now, his pain cuts far deeper than physical. He feels it in his very bones, this soulful ache for something that he knows will never be. 

Among the fallen rubble and blaster fire, he barely registers a light pressure on his hand, his fingers beginning to go numb. Your face—stained with soot and dried blood—comes into view and it takes everything in him not to sob out your name, knowing it may be the last time he has the honor of voicing such a sweet sound. 

“I’m here, Din. I’m not gonna leave you. I...I know you’re in pain, but do you think you have the strength to move?” you ask in a desperate voice, your eyes wide and glossy—either from the smoke in the air or from your own emotions getting the best of you, he’s not sure.

“C-cyar’ika,” he whispers, but a thick warmth gets caught in his throat and he falls into a coughing fit, the sharp taste of iron confirming what he already knew to be true. 

Blood is filling his lungs and he knows he doesn’t have much time left. 

“Don’t try to speak. Save your energy,” you rush out, swallowing hard and nodding your head as if you’re answering for him. You look over to Cara and Greef as they watch your exchange with matching, sorrowful expressions. 

“We have to carry him out, he can’t move,” you reach for the child standing at Din’s feet, the little one completely focused on the man who’s cared for and protected him with his own life. Din’s fingers twitch with a longing to comfort the little one, but it’s no use, the remnants of his strength waning by the second. 

Cara hesitates before moving forward, presumably to help lift Din to his feet and drag him to safety within the tunnels beneath them. But Din finds the will to subtly shake his head, signaling her to stop. It’s too late, he thinks to himself. Too much time has passed since Moff Gideon’s last assault and Din knows that it won’t be long before they’re under fire again. 

You look down at Din, your brows knitted together in confusion and anxiety, the child reaching out to him. “Y-you have to...go on without me. P-protect the child,” he croaks out, his breaths shallow and lungs burning with every intake of air. 

“No. I told you, I’m not leav–” you start to protest, hugging the child close to your chest when it makes a loud whimpering sound. Your bottom lip trembles and you pull it between your teeth. 

“The IG unit can stay with him, but we need to get the child out of here now,” Greef places a hand on your shoulder, but his eyes remain on the T of Din’s visor as he seems to say, I’ll make sure they’re safe.

The aforementioned droid comes into view and Din’s vision starts to blur, his ears ringing with a deafening pitch. The following moments of your exchange with Greef and Cara are difficult to comprehend as Din starts to pass out, but then he feels your hand in his again and he forces himself to stay awake. 

You don’t say anything as you lift his gloved hand to your cheek, tears streaming down your face. Oh, how he longs to feel your soft skin against his calloused hands. And though you can’t see his face because of the helmet covering his features, Din still tries to give you a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be r-right...behind you,” he lies through his teeth, a chill wracking his body. It won’t be much longer before he meets his Maker, but he doesn’t want you to have to witness his end.

He regrets a lot of things he’s done in his, what one might consider, wicked life—the lives he’s taken and the people he couldn’t save remaining at the forefront of his mind. But if he can spare you this...this trauma of watching him take his final breath, then he’ll do everything in his power to protect you from it.

You lean forward and press a kiss to the top of his helmet, right where his forehead would be, before resting your own against the cool metal. A Keldabe kiss. His chest aches beyond any physical means and it’s only then that he notices the moisture on his cheeks, spilling from his eyes. 

I’m so sorry, cyar’ika, if only we had more time, he wishes he could say, but he can barely hold his head up, let alone speak. The high pitch of the child’s cry reaches his ears and Din opens his eyes to find the little one touching the side of his helmet. Goodbye, my child, Din thinks as he finds the strength to reach up and lightly stroke behind the child’s ear one last time.

He hears you sniffle before whispering, “I love you,” your voice breaking. He can only just make out the gentle squeeze of your hand around his before you reluctantly let go as Cara ushers you away. 

Everything in existence seems to fade away after that, like you were his life force and now that you’re gone, he can’t hang on any longer. His breaths become uneven as fluid fills his lungs. At his side, IG-11 injects something into Din’s arm, but he doesn’t understand what the droid is saying—something along the lines of help with the pain and deep sleep.   

And as he becomes void of all senses but the memory of your hand in his, he embraces Death like an old friend.

Permanent tag list: @bestintheparsec @haildoodles @mandoandyodito @javier-djarin @readsalot73 @agentpike @aeryntheofficial @wickedfrsgrl @mrsparknuts @scarlettwitcher @buckysalefty @rosamedina92 @maxiarapamaya @promiscuoussatan @ah-callie @bluemoon-glen @pablopascal @littlemissthistle @waywardodysseys @thick-dick-din-daddy-djarin @thewaythisis @phoenixhalliwell @lovingtheway @petertingless @hiscyarika @pascalisthepunkest @mrpascals @sergeantbannerbarnes @mrschiltoncat @cyaredindjarin @destucky45 @getinthepoolkeanu @petrelliforcongress @gooddaykate @mistermiraclee @roxypeanut @watsonwise @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @tiffdawg @floweronthegrave @cryptkeepersoul @soldade @jaime1110 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @themandjalorian @longitud-de-onda @walkerchick007 @shinyfranci @arrowswithwifi @24kgolden @triggerhappyflyboyy @blushingwueen @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @thinemineours @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @ham4arrow @thisainttheway @katialvi @kristalhi @kimljn @mabelleen @auty-ren @frietiemelon @fanfiction-trashpile @sinnamon-bun @larakasser @miraelles @lackofhonor @jerusomeeno @liadamerondjarin @engineeredfuture @engineeredfiction @pascalesque @carringtonhill @mstgsmy @hayley-the-comet @the-wishmonger @clydesducktape @autumnleaves1991-blog

Character tag: @maxlorrd @no-droids-allowed @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @opheliaelysia @starlight-starwrites @lellaren-uodo-rian @anomiatartle @nerd-without-a-cause

[schattenjagd]

Lost without you (1/2)

A/N : I got this idea long ago when I first listened to Freya Ridings’ beautiful song “Lost without you”. I don’t know if one can really call this a Songfic, ‘cause I didn’t use any phrases directly, like I did in Hold on. This is gonna be a 2-parter. I’ve already written and finished the second part, so I’m gonna upload it in the next few days. 

Word Count : 3.2K - I finally made it to write something that isn’t that long xD

Warnings : Angst (what else can you expect from me ? xD)

Pairing : Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

The day had been tough.

Mikael had risen from the dead, summoned by the young witch Davina Claire, who almost signed the Mikaelson's death sentence.

But for Elijah Mikaelson there were bigger problems at that moment. He paced the room uneasily.

Y/N could hear the nervous footsteps in the room above herself even with her human hearing and closed her eyes for a moment.

She knew that following the two Mikaelson brothers had been a mistake, but she hadn't expected to be used as a weapon against her loved one and kidnapped by Mikael. Only Niklaus’ quick action was due to her that she still had all her limbs.

With a sigh, she let down the blood-red towel with which she had washed the rest of her blood from her body. Elijah's blood had healed all the serious wounds, but she still looked like she had come out of a meat grinder and the spot in her stomach where Mikael had rammed the stake - which was actually meant for Elijah - still hurt a little with every movement.

She was just coming out of the bathroom when she winced at a rumble above her.

,,He is fine."

Hayley, who was sitting on her bed, was just trying to calm her down, Y/N knew that, yet she couldn't really believe her friend. She raised an eyebrow.

"You are a bad liar."

The brunette sighed and rubbed her hair as she watched Y/N disappear behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable.

"Well, the hell is loose up there right now."

Y/N frowned and swallowed. And all because of her.

"Okay, I think I prefer it if you lie," Y/N came out from behind the screen and freed her hair from the fabric. "What's going on up there?"

***

Elijah sat tense behind his desk, glaring at the papers in front of him, while Klaus stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. The blonde winced when his brother swept the pile of files from his desk out of nowhere and when it fell to the floor with a loud rumble.

"She’s fine," Klaus finally interrupted the uncomfortable silence. "There is no need to worry - at least when it comes to your loved one."

Elijah's head snapped up. “No need to worry, Niklaus ? Our father, he was here and he is alive. And he almost killed her."

"Then isn’t it great that I was there and intervened ?"

Elijah scowled at his brother and Klaus eyed him suspiciously. A dark veil had laid over Elijah's features, which the blonde didn't like.

“You won't always be there. And neither do I, neither of us. She is in danger."

Klaus narrowed his eyes. "I don't like what you're up to do, brother, so I would recommend you leave it alone."

Elijah looked up. "What, Niklaus ?"

"That woman down there risked her life for you and saved it."

“That's the problem. She was ready to give her life for us. I can not be responsible for this”, Elijah swallowed hard at the lump that had formed in his throat at the memory. “She almost died, Niklaus. Because of me."

The dark-haired man wistfully remembered how Y/N had suddenly stood in front of him and the white oak stake that had been meant for him had instead pierced her body. If she had died, he could never have forgiven himself.

Elijah got up, went restlessly to the window, and looked out into the gloomy night and the still busy streets. He swallowed hard and devotedly closed his eyes. He couldn't put Y/N in that danger again. He couldn't live with that.

"It will break you," went Klaus on and looked at his brother. He couldn't deny that Y/N was close to his heart. She had often been the one who had curbed Elijah's anger at him and was able to call to reason. It was she who had seen something different in Klaus than the monster everyone seemed to see. And it was she who had cast a spell over his brother. Elijah would be lost without her love, Klaus knew that. He would no longer be the same, no longer his brother, if he was up to do what was already floating through his head a few times.

"I let her in, Niklaus," Elijah said and Klaus narrowed his eyes and looked up. In the reflection of the window, he saw the nervous tremor of Elijah's hands and his desperate eyes. "I don't let people in. You know this. I need her and it will break me, but not as much as if she would die through my hand. "

***

When Elijah ran down the gallery to his bedroom an hour later, exhausted, Hayley met him, who quickly disappeared around the next corner. When he closed the door to his bedroom behind him, he knew why.

Y/N was still up, which surprised him. But he swallowed hard at the look on her face as he pulled the tie off his neck and hung it over the back of a chair together with his jacket.

Y/N had been sitting on the edge of the bed, now got up after hearing him approaching and had her hands on her hips.

For a moment, he could only look at her and his heart contracted painfully.

“I know what you're up to, Elijah. And I won't let that happen."

He sighed. "Hayley told you."

"It has its advantages to have a hybrid as a very good friend, yes," she replied a little irritably. “Taking my memories ? I mean, are you completely crazy ?!"

If Y/N hadn't lived in a house with original vampires, she would have looted all vervain stocks long ago, but they didn’t exist.

"You almost died," he replied instead. ,,Because of me."

"Yes, and I wouldn’t regret it," Y/N immediately replied. And I would do it over and over again without hesitation.”

Yes, that's exactly the problem, Elijah thought and closed his eyes for a moment. A moment in which Y/N carefully approached him, took his hands in hers and looked up at him. "Promise me you won't, we'll find another way, but not this one."

He swallowed hard, avoiding her gaze, which he couldn't keep up with. Devotedly, he closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. "I'll find a way to protect you."

"I can take care of myself," Y/N immediately replied, looking up at him.

Elijah put his arms around her. Her head fit perfectly under his chin and when she wrapped her arms around him, she closed her eyes. He nodded slightly, gave her a kiss on the top of the head. "I know," he said softly. ,,I know."

***

He laid awake that night. He had wrapped an arm around Y/N's petite figure, who had laid her head on his chest and snuggled up to him, as if she wanted to steal the last bit of his body heat and never let go of him.

For some time now he had been  thoughtfully watching her calm and steady breathing and had had to smile slightly when she sighed softly in her sleep at the kiss he had breathed on her hairline.

He couldn't live without this woman, he knew that. But he had no choice if he wanted the woman in his arms to stay alive. He couldn't imagine a night without feeling her body heat next to him or her arms around him. A night she wouldn’t snuggl  up to him as if she wanted to crawl into him. And no night where she wouldn't use his chest as her personal pillow - and woe, he would move.

He remembered the first time he'd met her when he'd just arrived in New Orleans looking for Niklaus. He was in a hurry, trying to intercept Marcel’s henchmen at Sophie Deveroux’s back then, and yet something had made him stop when he crossed the Jackson Square.

He still remembered the red, airy summer dress she had worn that evening and which had contrasted sharply with the white piano she had been sitting in front of. He didn't know if it was because of her tender voice, the dress, or her entire appearance.

Back then he had just been able to stand there and look at her. He had watched people stop by and listen to her over and over, and applaud when she ended. And then she had looked at him. Nobody else, straight him. And he was frozen when she just smiled. Nothing more, she just smiled.

And the next time she looked up, he was gone. Only a suddenly appearing $ 50 bill reminded her that she hadn't imagined it.

Back then it was pure coincidence, or rather pure luck, that they ran into each other again. As a bartender at Rousseau’s, it had been clear that the two would meet again sometime and that had happened when he had followed his brother into the bar one night.

Y/N had been shifting with Cami and he had been amazed that it was she who had suddenly put his bourbon in front of him.

Elijah closed her eyes and listened to Y/N's steady heartbeat. It was so peaceful, so powerful. He couldn't stand not hearing it one day.

He gently ran his hand over her bare back, letting his fingertips dance across her vertebrae as if they were piano keys. Even in her sleep, she seemed to feel his touch, for she murmured something unintelligible and pressed closer to him.

He gave her a kiss on the forehead, long and intimate, and closed his eyes. No, he had to protect this woman, no matter what. He would not allow her to die because of him, that her life would run like sand through his fingers. Y/N was not Tatia, neither Katherine nor Celeste. She would not end like they did. He wouldn't let that happen.

***

The sun had just risen when Y/N woke up the next morning, amazed to find the bedside next to her empty and cold. After only feeling yawning emptiness, she raised her eyebrows, blinked a few times, and sat up. Her forehead wrinkled even more when she heard clatter from the bathroom and saw her suitcase and Elijah's travel bag at the foot of their bed.

Elijah was just coming out of the bathroom, smiling at her, when he found that she was awake. He was already dressed, wearing black suit pants with a white shirt and black vest over it.

Y/N looked at him, questioningly.,,What is all of this ?"

"I made a deal with Niklaus," Elijah said, approaching Y/N and leaning briefly down to give her a kiss on the lips. “We both leave here. Until then, he and Hayley will clarify matters. We'll be back when it's safe. I can't protect you here."

Y/N couldn't really believe it, but a huge stone fell from her heart when she found out that he would go with her. Slowly, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up.

"Good," she finally said. "Since you probably won't tell me where we're going anyway, how much time do we have left ?"

"Our train leaves at 10 am."

Y/N smiled at him, sincerely and honestly, and she leaned over and kissed him again. This time more intimately and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he put his around her waist and hugged her tightly.

Y/N had to smile at the tender feeling of his lips on hers and reluctantly broke the kiss. "I'm just changing quickly."

He also forced himself to smile and nodded slightly, gave her a last kiss on the lips and let go of her.

Y/N didn't see the single tear running down his cheek when she disappeared into the bathroom.

***

The train station was loud and crowded. Although Y/N had never feared large crowds, she was a little uncomfortable now. Even Elijah's arm, which he had wrapped around her waist and which pressed her tightly against him so that he would not lose her in the hustle and bustle, did not change the fact.

Since the drive, she has been suffering from a gnawing feeling that she couldn’t shake off. Her head told her that everything was fine, that there was no need to worry, but her mind wanted to make her believe otherwise.

"It's over there."

Y/N was taken out of her thoughts when Elijah pointed to a certain platform that she couldn’t see from where she was.

The crowds were slowly diminishing and the platform on which they now stood was only occupied by a few people who waved to their loved ones who were already on the waiting train.

“That one ?"

Y/N pointed to the train ahead. Elijah nodded slightly, but he stopped when she took a few steps to the train and wanted to get in.

No.

Y/N swallowed hard. The gnawing feeling grew stronger.

"Elijah?" She hesitantly asked when he attached his travel bag securely to the handle of her case so that one person could carry it safely. Her eyes narrowed as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a train ticket. He handed it to her.

Y/N looked at it for a moment, but swallowed hard. The ticket was for one person.

One person.

Ignoring her faster heartbeat and looking up, his hands were empty.

"Where's your ticket?" She asked, uncertainly.

She already knew the answer when he avoided her eyes. There was none. She was holding the only ticket."No ..." she stammered and her eyes widened.

"Otherwise I could not have brought you here at your will."

Y/N's lips minimally opened. He was right, if she had known what he was going to do, she would never have agreed to it. He couldn't do that, he couldn't. That wasn’t fair.

"You can't leave me alone, Elijah," she tried again and she could feel the tears that were slowly pouring into her eyes and threatened to find a way out. "I am lost without you."

"So am I."

"Then why this suicide mission ?" She immediately asked. Y/N abruptly took a few steps towards him and gripped his face with both hands, forcing him to look at her.

“I can't protect you here. Not the way it is needed. "

“We find a way. Somehow,”she pleaded further, looking directly into his eyes, straight into his soul and now he too could feel the tears. ,,We always found a way. But please, please don't send me away. Do not do this."

She looked him in the eye and she knew that he also wished there was another way - that didn't exist. A first tear escaped from the corner of her eye and she pressed her lips together in a thin line before finally pulling him down and kissing him.

The tears ran down her cheeks in torrents, and sometimes she didn't know if it was his that she could feel. She put as much love in this kiss as she could. All the love she felt for this man in front of her and she tried to remember every single moment; the tender and tingly feeling of his lips on hers, the way he wrapped his powerful arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, and his breath on her skin.

When they loosened and gasped, Y/N kept her eyes closed and instead pressed her forehead against his. She was afraid that if she opened her eyes, time would go on and events would take their terrible course. But now, at that moment, there was only Elijah and her and it should stay that way for as long as possible.

"All I did yesterday was to protect you," she said softly so that only he could hear it. "I couldn't go on living if you were dead. I'd rather die knowing that I saved you."

She carefully stroked the tears from his cheeks and then looked at him sincerely. “I love you, Elijah. And I will do that always and forever. That's why I did it."

"And that is why I have to do this now."

She held her breath. Her body reacted faster than her brain was able to process his words and just when her eyes widened and she wanted to open her mouth to say something, his gaze had already caught her. It was no longer possible for her to look away from his dilated pupils, from which tears still flowed. She could feel his hand on her cheek, and she couldn't at the same time. Part of her screamed, her soul screamed, but no one could hear it. It was silenced by the part of her that was just caught in his eyes. And there was no pain, no pain that she knew that was as big as this. It hit her at full speed and she felt like she couldn’t breath.

She motionless watched as he pressed his lips together in a thin line, presumably to avoid sobbing.

"Your promise to love me, I want you to forget it. Forget it all. My family, you, so desperately trying to protect me, forget it. All the pain, the anger, the grief ... The love. None of this has existed. The name Mikaelson is as common to you as anyone else. You won't know who I am, nor Niklaus. Vampires, werewolves, hybrids, none of this exists. I want you to forget everything you know about this world. You never met me ”, Elijah swallowed hard, he wanted to look away, he wanted it so much, but he couldn't. "You don't remember meeting me. And not that you love me either. You forget everything."

Y/N blinked in confusion several times as a short breeze right in front of her pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked around questioningly, but couldn't find anyone, just a couple of strangers rushing past, just trying to get home. Her cheeks were incredibly cool, and when she touched her skin with her fingertips, she noticed that they glistened damp. Did she cry ? Confused, she raised her eyebrows at the train ticket she was holding.

Chigaco was written on it in large block letters and she rolled her eyes. For a brief, tiny moment, she seemed to have forgotten why she was here at all. She could have slapped herself.

She moaned and reached for her suitcase and travel bag. Just before she got on the train, she turned again and took a last look at the platform. She would now leave New Orleans behind - finally. Her job here had been miserable and when she got the job offer from Chigaco, she didn't have to think long. She had no one here anyway, so what should stop her ?

With a smile of anticipation, she climbed the stairs and the train doors closed behind her.

She didn't notice the dark-haired man dressed in a suit watching her from a safe distance. A single tear flowed down his cheek before he turned and finally disappeared.

[anxiouslynumbme]

Best Prepare To Grieve

7x10, Daisy dealing with Jiaying's death.

Hello! So this is late and slightly more unedited than usual, 'cause I kinda had to post it before tonight's episode, so fair warning and all. Also this is heavily focused on Daisy and May, with a little Daisy/sousa. The higher dosage of Daisy and Sousa will be posted to my other fic (Tell me it's okay.)

Title inspiration: Hayley Williams - Leave It Alone. If you don't know it, go check it out. Actually, listen to her entire album. It's such a wonderful piece of art. Also the song ‘Simmer’ works for both Jiaying and Daisy. But especially Jiaying: If my child needed protection From a fucker like that man I'd sooner gut him 'Cause nothing cuts like a mother

Okay, I'm gonna stop now before I start rambling about the genius of Hayley Williams.

Ao3.

If you know love You best prepare to grieve Let it enter your open heart and Then prepare to let it leave

**************************************

Daisy didn't expect it to be easier, but with the number of people she had lost, and the amount of deaths and loss she had experienced; she wanted to believe it wouldn't hurt as much. But it hurt the same. Always.

Daisy had noticed a change in the way she handled tragedy over the years. How she used to deal with sadness as a kid, crying and daydreaming of a better future. As a teenager, she was the typical angsty, cynical soul who hated the world. A rebellious determination hit in her 20s, she found solace in conspiracy theories and exposing the truths.

And then Coulson had found her, and she'd latched onto the opportunity behind the man, desperately trying to find her parents, to know who she was. But Coulson had given her much more than what she had been looking for. And at first, the loneliness and pain had lessened with the team. She was happy. She belonged.

But as much as S.H.I.E.L.D. had given her; it had taken just as much. And it had taught her to deal with afflictions by avoidance, isolation, and a whole lot of anger.

And Daisy wished so much that was the case by seeing her mother's death again, Daisy wished she could sweep it under the rug and carry on. Just put under it there, with the recent death of Enoch. But she couldn't.

Daisy felt like a little kid again. She just wanted to cry and never stop, her heart was squeezing itself so tightly in its cage, her ears ringing with its heavy pounding. She couldn't breathe.

Daisy's breathing was short and shallow, her heart rate dimming in the engulfing anguish and shock, her chest constricting with the unbearable weight of loss. Daisy was frigid with the retching grief swirling through her veins. How was it that she never knew her mother and it hurt as though she did. Everytime. She had always been an orphan; she never had a mother, this should've been easier. Daisy wanted it to be. Desperately. Daisy was deprived of a mother's love since she was born; she was used to this. And yet, if felt like she was being drained of her blood by Nathaniel all over again. He should've had finished the job.

What Daisy resented the most was the brief, naive sliver of hope that was momentarily lit within her heart. A hope she had learned time and time again to crush, to never let it simmer too long or too bright. Daisy had learned not to hope a long time ago.

But seeing her mother again had weakened her resolve; it melted that icy wall she'd built around her for so long. Because the Jiaying that had stood in front of her was so unlike the traumatic memories Daisy had tried to block out. And for a split second, Daisy let her mind wander: it wandered so stupidly, with an innocence she shouldn't have, gullibility that should had been long gone.

Jiaying's presence enfeebled her state of mind and her guarded heart. Because after all those years, Daisy still hoped. What if Jiaying could stay? What if bad luck decided to let her have this one? What if she could get to keep this untainted and healthy version of her mother? What if they saved her sister and managed to find some way to stay together? It was so brief, a nano-second of hopeful naivety.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. And now you're breaking down all over again.

No, she wasn't breaking down again. Because as much as pain and sadness were familiar. Anger was too. And Daisy could easily channel this darkness that was threatening to swallow her, into fury. A familiar and safe territory.

It had been a while since Daisy had felt this kind of rage. She hated it. It was so easy to lose herself in that bottomless pit of hatred and self-pity. Daisy didn't want to give herself in it again; she'd almost lost the people she loved the last time she had went down an emotional spiral.

But it didn't matter, because Daisy wasn't going to let this go, her blood was boiling beneath the surface of her skin, her nerves prickled and itched with the fury that kept building up by each passing second. Quake was unraveling inside her, her powers thrumming with the need to be let out, it hummed and hammered, silently begging to be unleashed.

"Daisy."

May's wary voice traveled to her ears, but refused to reach the rest of her senses. A numbness began to settle over her as she quietly wiped away her muted tears.

May placed a hand on her shoulder and Daisy's eyes closed at the contact. Daisy couldn't handle comfort right now.

"Where is he?" her voice came out distant and cold.

"Daisy."

"How did he escape, May?"

"Garrett, I'm sure. He has Simmons."

Daisy's heart lurched in silent panic. Of course. Of course, he has her best friend. Daisy pulled away from May, standing up briskly.

“Deke is there too. He was already on the Zephyr.”

"Do you have any idea why he wants Simmons?"

"Daisy, you should take a breath," May said, putting a hand on her own chest.

"I'm fine, we have to act quickly and find her. Malick is unhinged; we don't know what he'll do," Daisy said monotonously, vaguely pointing at Jiaying's corpse. "We should move her first."

"I got it."

Sousa's voice was jarring, to say the least. Daisy was unaware of his presence in the hallway, and she didn't why, but she couldn't look at him.

"Thanks," she told him, marching forward and leaving Jiaying behind, not really caring where her legs were taking her.

"Daisy, where are you going?" May's word fell on deaf ears, Daisy needed to get out, it felt as though her lungs were collapsing in her chest.

Daisy almost sprinted outside. Her steps carrying her forward until she was stood in front of the water falling down harshly at the center of the Lighthouse. A scenery that used to bring her comfort; it was a place she sought out in her time of need, need of serenity and quiet. But her safe haven didn't provide much safety or peace, nothing could change the scene playing over and over in her mind.

Jiaying's face, the cracking sound of her neck breaking. The thudding finality of her lifeless body hitting the floor.

The air started to crackle around Daisy, her powers causing shudders to glide through her bones. Daisy was aware of the ground shaking beneath her, cargo and boxes of contents unknown to her, started to jolt and oscillate uncontrollably.

"Daisy!" It seemed May had followed her.

"Don't worry, May. I'm in control."

"Are you?"

"Yes!"

With a deep breath, Daisy focused all of her energy on one specific container, finally letting the infuriated vibrations out. Releasing her powers directly towards a few useless objects. One after the other, they exploded, and with each one Daisy felt her raging insides slightly subdue. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't Nathaniel.

"Daisy, talk to me." May came to stand next to her.

Daisy breathed in sharply. "What's the plan? Do we know - "

"Daisy, stop avoiding this."

"I'm not avoiding anything, May. Simmons was kidnapped, again! And I'm guessing Malick is not taking her to Hawaii, so..."

"I know that," May gritted out.

"Good. So he probably took her because it has something to do with Fitz, which is just great because we have zero informa -"

"Daisy, I can feel it!" May's voice almost came out in a yell.

"I'm sorry?" Daisy asked uselessly.

"Daisy," May said. "You are in pain. And you are so angry. Please talk to me."

Daisy nodded her head in annoyance, her hands darting to her waist. "Okay, then, why didn't you shoot to kill, May?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you kill him?" Daisy snapped. "Why didn't you let me - ?"

"Your anger was too much, you would've put everyone in danger!"

"No, I wouldn't have! I know exactly what I'm doing."

May paused, taking a step closer to her. "Daisy - "

"What, you wanna talk about something else? Like the fact that apparently I don’t exist now, or the fact that I had to watch my mother die again. Killed by the hands of someone who was abusing my powers! He used my powers to kill her, May!"

"I know," May said softly, striding even closer to Daisy. The consoling noise of the water around them grounding Daisy.

"Honestly, what Did I expect?" she snickered. "She dies later anyway. . .might as well, right? At least now I won't be alive, I guess - I honestly don't how this works anymore."

"Daisy, don't do this. Don't shut down."

"Wow, that's rich coming from you," Daisy bit out, her frustration flowing freely.

May was quiet, which irritated Daisy even more. She simply stood there, staring at her, but not with pity. It was pain. May was hurting too.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Right, your ambiguous powers are making you extra sensitive, huh? Sorry about that."

"I don't need powers to feel your pain, Daisy."

Daisy stiffened, her feet instinctively taking a step back. "Well, sorry about that too."

"Daisy," May followed her, a palm trying to reach for her arm again. Daisy let her. "I can tell. Always. And that's why I know you will be okay."

"Will I?" Daisy wondered, her tone small and broken. "you know sometimes, I have these moments where I look around, surrounded by you guys, and I feel safe. Content. But then this dread always hits, hard. And I'm just. . .constantly afraid of losing you. Death just follows me, wherever I go."

May blenched, her frown deepening as her hand squeezed Daisy almost sternly. "Don't. Don't say that."

"No, no, it's always been like this," Daisy continued loudly, her hands flailing in front of her restlessly. "it's the same thing, always. Anyone I ever dared to care about goes away. God, even the idea of my parents I couldn't have. Just the mere damn idea of them. And the universe is twisted enough to keep dangling her, dangling that hope in my face!

"I've imagined meeting my mother over and over again, and not once did I - " Daisy's voice broke off, a hollowing ache in her chest. "She's unreachable. There is no world where I could have her. I don't even know why I keep - why I even thought - "

Daisy was cut off by May's arms enveloping her. Her grip strong and kind and steady. Safe, so safe. Daisy gasped roughly, her body sagging against May, finally inhaling oxygen just a bit easier again.

Daisy's legs gave out from under her, May immediately lowering both of them to the ground. May's arms closed her in, almost caging her from the cruel world around her. Like a mother would. And suddenly Daisy was assaulted by the memory of almost losing the woman who was currently keeping her from completely shutting down . May had almost died; Daisy had believed she died. And all of a sudden, that same wave of stifling pain crashed over her again, and Daisy clutched May to her, gripping her tightly.

"You almost died too," Daisy wept, not fully aware that her mouth was freely voicing her turmoil. "You almost me left me, too."

"Shh, I'm right here."

But Daisy was unable to hear anything but her racing, terrified thoughts.

"It won't stop. Ever since Trip, I keep losing. I lost the one person who understood me," Daisy's breath caught in her throat as she thought of her first, lost love. "I lost my - "

Her father? Because he was. In every way but blood, Phil Coulson was her father. And he was gone. And Daisy knew she might never completely move past his death; she might never be whole again. There really was nothing without him.

"It's okay, Daisy."

"He's gone, May. Coulson is gone," Daisy sobbed. "It's not him. He will never be him."

"I know, Daisy, I know." May held her harder. Solid against her.

"Please don't leave, May," Daisy grasped May's waist, her head pressing further in her chest. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere," May rasped, her words firm and full of conviction. "I'm right here, okay? I'm always with you, Daisy."

But she wouldn't be. There was no way to ever ensure that, to ensure her loved ones’ safety, her family's survival. Daisy was going to lose them, or they were going to lose her. Death was inevitable, loss was too, and it didn't help that the odds were always stacked against them.

Enoch was right.

But Daisy didn't say anything, and decided to let May's words seep into her anyway, because Daisy was on the verge of a panic attack and she couldn't afford the loss of control right now. So for this moment, Daisy decided to believe May.

******

Daisy's eyes snapped open, her groggy mind trying to comprehend her surroundings. She had fallen asleep, slowly Daisy lifted her head up and away from May's chest to look into her wide awake eyes. Glancing around, Daisy realized May had moved them to a wall near by.

"How the hell did I fall asleep?" her voice was scratchy and low. "Did I, like, pass out or something?"

May grinned. "Honestly, I think you might have."

"Oh, how long?"

"Not long enough."

Daisy exhaled slowly. "Well, I'm sorry."

"It's all right. You needed it."

Daisy gazed at May's warm smile and noticed her eyes were a little red, realizing that May might've been crying with her. Gratitude and affection rushed through her. They had often joked about it, how Coulson and May were like her parents, but deep down, Daisy had always been speaking from the heart. They were.

Daisy caught May's hand in hers, "Thank you. I don't say it enough,"

May's brows knitted. "For what?"

"For taking care of me, for showing me how to survive and basically teaching me everything I know. For saving my life."

"You never need to thank me for any of that.”

S.H.I.E.L.D. did take a lot of from her. But it had also gifted her with something so rare, so utterly precious. Irreplaceable. It was tangible and real and hers. Daisy would take all the pain in the world if it meant having them. Having this family, keeping it.

"Er, hey."

This time, his voice wasn't as jarring, in fact, somehow Daisy was waiting for it, her ears welcoming its irresistible warmth as her eyes finally met his.

"Hi."

"We should start working out a plan and figuring out exactly where they are," May said, her body suddenly rising up to its full height, Daisy following right after. "I'll see you back inside in a few minutes,."

With one last gentle smile, May was walking away from them.

"Are you okay, sounds very pointless right now. So I'm gonna ask if there's anything you need from me."

Daisy's lips instantly quirked to the side. "Not right now, no. But thanks."

She wanted to ask him how he moved Jiaying, where exactly did he put her. Daisy wanted to see her, but her heart seemed to whimper in fear at the thought. Would she be able to do it? Daisy needed to focus on the mission, and maybe later, if she actually survived, there would be time to say proper goodbye to her mother.

"For now, all we need to focus on is getting Simmons and Deke back," she told him as they both started walking back.

Sousa sighed, eyes flitting away from hers. "I know. It all happened so fast. I couldn't stop him."

"You were with her?"

"Yeah, and I didn't have time t - "

Daisy stopped in her tracks. "Hey, it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could've done."

Even though Sousa knew she was right, she could still sense some lingering guilt in his eyes. But Daisy could more than understand why he felt that way. Because how many times could she have killed Nathaniel? How many ways? Instead, she did nothing but watch. Helpless to stop any of it.

"What happened wasn't your fault either," Sousa said softly.

A part of Daisy didn't like the fact that he seemed to be able to read her so easily after knowing her for such little time. But the other, much bigger part of her, was just so grateful for him. Grateful that she didn't have to talk much for him to understand. So grateful that he was here.

Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. 

Daisy peered at Sousa."Well, I guess it doesn't matter if it is or not. Guilt sticks with you anyway it can."

Sousa nodded. "Sometimes, it can be an irrational feeling."

"But in this case, it's justified. He didn't even want Jiaying. If she hadn't been here at all, then she would've - "

"No, you can't think like that," Sousa interjected quickly. "it'll drive you crazy. There was no way for you to know that. It was out of your control, Daisy."

Daisy could feel her insides recoil at the incessant image that wouldn't leave her mind. "He'd told her. Before he killed her. She - she knew who I was. She was trying to protect me."

Sousa stepped up to her, his palm kindly touching her arm. And Daisy didn't flinch away from him.

"She had died honorably. I know things were bad in the future with her. But this was your mother, Daisy. And she had done what she was always supposed to do."

The silent tears slipped before she could stop them, Sousa's hand rubbing her arm soothingly. 

"You know, I'm really glad you kinda pushed me into talking with her."

Sousa smiled warmly. "Really? 'Cause it didn't look like it."

Daisy snorted. "Well, I wasn't at the time. But now I realize I needed the push. . . So thank you."

"Anytime, Daisy."

The way he'd said it, as if he were cementing the idea that he was going to be there for her, anytime. And Daisy wanted to believe him so badly. But she couldn't let herself hope right now, not so soon after. Everything got taken away from her, and Sousa was no exception. Sooner or later.

Daisy sent him a simple nod in response, their legs moving forward again. Daisy didn't want to go inside; the air was probably still thick and heavy with the recent calamity, the devastation. Devastation she was still feeling.

But Daisy didn't have the luxury of mourning right now. Her friends were in trouble, which of course meant the world was in trouble. She needed to push through, as always.

She could let herself think that seeing her mother again brought her nothing but this suffocating sorrow. But Daisy was choosing to view it differently. She was glad that she was lucky enough to have seen Jiaying like this. To hear her say, my daughter, one last time. Daisy was glad she had the chance to look at her mother's beautiful face, and not see years of torment and hate clouding her eyes. Daisy was never even supposed to see her again; she was lucky in that sense.

Or at least that was how Daisy needed to look at it, in order to be able to move on. Because thinking of it any other way could so easily crush her.

Daisy got to see her again and that was enough. Because maybe asking for anything else was too much.

It always was.

[haledamage]

OC Songs

@queen-scribbles did a thing a while ago where she picked only one song for each of her OCs that best summed them up and in an effort to be productive I decided to finally do that too :)

this isn’t, I guess, all of my OCs, but it’s the ones that I understand the best, I think. maybe I’ll add to it as more of them start speaking to me. I will also eventually be turning this into a playlist and I’ll add a link to it once I do

(under the cut so I don’t flood your dash)

Kai Cirdani

I Am The Fire - Halestorm

I am the fire I am burning brighter Roaring like a storm And I am the one I've been waiting for Screaming like a siren Alive and burning brighter I am the fire I don't believe I'll fall from grace Won't let the past decide my fate Leave forgiveness in my wake Take the love that I've embraced

---

Kira Kingston

Drive - Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear Take the wheel and steer It's driven me before And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal But lately I am beginning to find That I should be the one behind the wheel Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there

---

Aurienne the Sparrow

Bird Set Free - Sia

But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide We hold on so tight, we cannot deny Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive, oh Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, yeah And I don't care if I sing off key I find myself in my melodies I sing for love, I sing for me I shout it out like a bird set free

---

Maia Peg’asi

I’m With You - Avril Lavigne

I'm looking for a place I'm searching for a face Is anybody here I know 'Cause nothing's going right And everything's a mess And no one likes to be alone Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? Won't somebody come take me home? It's a damn cold night Trying to figure out this life Won't you take me by the hand? Take me somewhere new I don't know who you are But I, I'm with you

---

Raina Tiárnen

Believe - K’s Choice

Bravely I look further than I see Knowing things I know I cannot be, not now I'm so aware of where I am, but I don't know where that is And there's something right in front of me and I Touch the fingers of my hand And I wonder if it's me Holding on and on to Theories of prosperity Someone who can promise me I believe in me

---

Vesiya Hallis

Eyes Open - Taylor Swift

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard Every lesson forms a new scar They never thought you'd make it this far But turn around (turn around) Oh, they've surrounded you It's a showdown (showdown) And nobody comes to save you now But you've got something they don't Yeah you've got something they don't You've just got to keep your eyes open

---

Aramarii Wrinn

Higher - The Score

You know that all my life I have been waiting, I have been waiting for this All my life, I have been fighting, I have been fighting for this Dream in my soul and I won't let it go You know that all my life They try to keep me down but I just get higher They try to keep me down but I just get higher Broke my bones, tasted blood Burned my wings close to the sun But I'll keep on flying I'm too young for dying Cause there's a dream I can taste Think it's time I break my chains And run with the giants Like smoke, I'm rising

---

Iorwen Emroth

Ain’t Gonna Cry - Larkin Poe

All of these feelings I've been suppressing Gotta get 'em off my chest I'm a little unhinged I guess Is it factual? Or is it all in my head? Now I'm unemployed Can't avoid the void, feeling paranoid I ain't gonna cry I ain't gonna cry When my soul has gone astray I sing hallelujah anyway

---

Lexi Wiseman

Watch Me While I Bloom - Hayley Williams

You wanna look inside of me And just watch me bloom You only got one side of me Here's something new, ah I'm alive in spite of me And I'm on the move So come and look inside of me Watch me while I bloom, ah If you feel like you're never gonna reach the sky 'Til you pull up your roots, leave your dirt behind Mmh, baby you got a lot of shit to learn

---

Cait Cousland

Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken - P!nk

You beat me, betray me You're losing, we're winning My spirit above me You cannot deny me My freedom is burning This broken world keeps turning I'll never surrender There's nothing, but a victory There's not enough rope to tie me down There's not enough tape to shut this mouth The stones you throw can make me bleed But I won't stop until we're free Wild hearts can't be broken

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

I’m the Lucky One

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Jackson Kenner x Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: None at all.

Author’s Note: This is completely AU where Jackson was never supposed to marry Hayley. While Hayley helps break the Crescent Wolf Curse, Jackson and Hayley are just friends in this. This fic was supposed to be a song fic to Dylan Scott’s My Girl but it took a mind of its own and I couldn’t link it up to the lyrics like I’ve done before, so this is now just inspired by the song. This is the first time that I’m writing for Jackson. If you would like to see more of Jackson, please let me know. Feedback is everything, especially when writing for new (new to me) characters!

Music and laughter mixed in with the cold air of the night. Warmth came from the fire that was contained in a huge fire pit that helped illuminate the area. It was a perfect night in the Bayou and no one from the outside world could convince them otherwise. 

It was only a few days after they were freed from the curse that Marcel had ordered a witch to put them under. It felt strange, yet relieving, to be able to stay in their human forms for longer than one night a month. It may take some getting used to again, but no one would ever be able to tell they had been cursed by the way they were to night. 

Pack mates were enjoying themselves. Drinks and stories were being shared with each other while others danced around to the music that played. The pack now knew that there were certain things that they had once taken for granted and there was no way they were going to be the same. They were enjoying the night of being in each other’s company without the stress of anything else around them. 

Y/N, along with a few of her pack mates, danced in the firelight. A bottle of cold beer being held as she danced to the beat before throwing her head back in laughter at something one of her friends said. Shaking her head, she bumped her shoulder against her friend before taking a drink from the bottle. 

These people were her family. These people had always been there, even in their wolf forms. As close as they all had been while growing up, she couldn’t ever see herself leaving this life she was born into. She would willingly follow them into battle and not think twice about it. 

“You haven’t mentioned who she is.” Hayley said as she looked over at Jackson who had been watching Y/N with a grin on his face. “She doesn’t like outsiders much, but I can see that she really cares for everyone.”

The two had been sitting off to the side. While Jackson had been trying to fill her in on the Crescent stories, his attention would wander over to Y/N constantly. It had been some time since he had last seen her so laid back and as happy as she was. 

He chuckled looking over at Hayley for a moment before turning back to watch Y/N. “That is Y/N. She’s my girlfriend.” A smile tugged at his lips at the title. “She wasn’t always like that.” He noted. “Hell, the three of us had play dates before you were taken away from here. She just has trouble trusting anyone that is tied in with the vampires or the witches.”

“Play dates? Seriously?” Hayley asked with a raised brow.

“Oh yeah.” He looked back over at her. “Our parents used to get together all the time before things went to hell.”

“I don’t blame her for not trusting anyone with ties to vampires.” Hayley knew how this must have looked to Y/N. Here she was knocked up by the original hybrid. There were several things that about that man that couldn’t be trusted. After Jackson had told her about the curses, Hayley couldn’t imagine what they must have been through.

“It was a hell of time growing up knowing what was waiting for us if we triggered the curse. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.” His eyes moved back to Y/N who was still dancing with her friends. 

There was a moment where she stopped and looked towards Jackson. Even as the fire flickered in her Y/E/C eyes, he loved the way they looked. He’d take her eyes as they are now instead of the golden color that came with her wolf form. He would never say it out loud to anyone but her, but he loved waking up and seeing her eyes in the early morning. Or even the sleepy smile he’d see after he’d compliment her beauty. 

As her eyes met his light brown ones, a grin pulled at both of their lips. Her free hand lifted slightly as she waved at him. He chuckled and waved back at her before she turned her attention back to the woman standing beside her. 

“She hates it when I say it,” He said a moment later. “but she saved me when I needed it the most.”

“What happened?” There was curiosity in Hayley’s voice. 

“She triggered the curse before I did.” He noted. “An accident that even I can’t get her to talk about after all these years.” He shook his head slightly. “Truth be told, I was more of a mess about it than she had been. I hated that I could only talk to her once a month. But her stubborn self never left my side even in her wolf form. I could see it in her eyes that she was okay with what happened, but it didn’t help deal with my own issues.”

“More like it made it worse.” Y/N said as she came and took a seat on the other side of Jackson. “Like the rest of us, he had a temper on him, some how I managed to calm him down when he needed it. But after I triggered mine, the calming words I’d tell him couldn’t be conveyed besides the occasional whimper or even an annoyed growl.”

That caused Hayley and Jackson to laugh at her words. “In my defense it wasn’t the same thing.” He shrugged slightly.

Y/N rolled her eyes but had a smile on her lips. “Jack thinks I saved him because I help calm him down.”

“You did.” Jackson said as he looked over at her. “I never would have been calm enough to step up as I needed to.”

Y/N smiled and rested her forehead against his before bumping her nose against his. It was a habit she had formed as a wolf and carried over any time she was in her human form. It was comfort. 

Hayley watched as the two interacted. She couldn’t imagine going through what they had. While Hayley’s luck in the romance department wasn’t that great, it brought a smile to her face seeing Jackson and Y/N. 

“Y/N!” Someone called causing her and Jackson to move away from each other to let her see who was calling her. 

Seeing her friend holding up another beer, Y/N shook her head before looking back at Jackson. “Apparently I’m being summoned with beer.”

Jackson laughed and kissed her softly. “Go on.” He said with a tilt of his head. “I’m gonna catch Hayley up on a few more things and then I’ll join you.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Promise?” She asked. “Even the dancing?”

Jackson grimaced at that which caused Y/N and Hayley to laugh. “I don’t know about that.”

“One day I’ll convince you.” Y/N said before leaning in to kiss him one more time before getting up and heading back over with her friends. 

“I like her.” Hayley said with a smile as she brought the can of soda up to drink. “She’s lucky to have you.”

Jackson chuckled. “I’m actually the lucky one. Sometimes I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve her in my life. She could have picked anyone else, but she wanted me.”

Hayley smiled at that. “You’re a good guy, Jack. That’s what she sees and that’s all that matters to her.”

The sounds of cheering filled their ears causing them to turn their attention towards it. Y/N and another pack member were currently in a competition to see who could drink their beer the fastest. From the looks of things, Y/N was well in the lead. As she drank the last of it, she held the bottle up in the air causing the others to yell out as she did. It made Jackson laugh as he watched it.

"That’s my girl!” He called out causing Y/N to grin and look over towards him. She winked at him before turning and patting the man before her’s shoulder. 

“She knows how to have fun, I’ll give her that.” Hayley laughed watching as someone else tried talking her into another round. 

“She does.” Jackson nodded. “She’s the lively one while I tend to be the more serious one.”

“Its all about balance.” Hayley noted.

Jackson smiled as he watched Y/N. That woman was everything he never knew he needed until she wasn’t there in her human form. All the things he saw, that no one else eve really got to see, she was perfect in every way even when she didn’t believe it. Even though there were several people around her, there were things only he could see and he hoped that he’d continued to be the one that got to see them. 

Always & Forever Tag: @taylordrunkonwhiskey @thewolf-and-thesheep @wayward-dan @neeadinghugs @fafulous @kenmen02 @elizamonet @dora-the-grownup  @mschellehitt @xanderling

As always, if you’d like to be added to or taken off the tag list, please let me know. ♥

[queerchoicesblog]

The Birthday Party (SC Titanic, Zetta x Adele Series, Ch. 10/1)

Due to technical issues, Chapter 10 is out today: apologies for the delay! Part 2 featuring the James confrontation will be out later today as planned so stay tuned!

Little disclaimer-favor: if you do enjoy it, please consider supporting the author & sharing this. A little gesture that means a lot!

Word Count: 3000+

Zetta x Adele Tag: @storyscaped @storyscapefanficarchive@marmolady @animus-and-anima  @hayley-carter19 @escako@everlastingchoices @andrxrneda @aestheticsayeed@indescribablechoices @ahrielstuff @bornonawdnsday @nazario-sayeed  @h-doodles @adele-serda @marlcasters@brightpinkpeppercorn @nightwhite13 @ramenwithaspoon@michelleconnoly @charliejane-blog @ghost-of-yuri@choicesgremlin @shadeofangelus @mistressofspiesxenia@orange-elephants​

Zetta x Adele Series Tag: @eternal-langdon @nydeiri

➡️ Ch. 1, Ch. 2/1, Ch. 2/2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7, Ch. 8/1, Ch. 8/2, Ch. 9

_____________________

"I'm positive you'll be quite pleased with the venue, Madam" Sabine smiles, her eyes gleaming as she guides me through the hallways. I can tell she's beaming and thrilled for tonight: knowing her, adrenaline is pumping through her veins and she won't rest until the party is officially over and she touches her pillow. But she looks genuinely anxious of showing me the results of her hard work. Well, her and Adele's. She must be proud of it: she's literally floating by my side. "I'm sure I will, ma chere Sabine" I agree, mirroring her smile. "You never disappointed me once, I doubt you'll start tonight" Her whole face brightened up with pride, even if she tries to hide it to preserve her professional demeanour. But I know her well enough and I wouldn't have shared my praise if that wasn't the effect I had in mind. When we finally reach our destination, my little Napoleon stops in front of the closed doors of the cafe and looks back at me. "Allons-y, Madam?" she lilts in French, her head high. In response, to channel my Zetta role I close my eyes and dramatically offer her a hand. "Lead the way, Sabine"

I can't see her but I know my flair for drama amused her. She probably shook her head before taking my hand and opening the doors. As she gently guides me inside, my heart starts racing in my chest and I smile to myself at my childish excitement. I better cherish it: I am somehow thrilled for my party even if I know it won't have a happy ending...Jamie dear certainly has something in store for me and I'm not sure it's anything good or even remotely pleasant, knowing his wicked plan. I cannot know if he'll succeed in ruining me, his only family in this world, and my reputation, my engagement to Richard; if he won't, he'll try his best to ruin my little happy soirée. That I know for sure. I summon every ounce of hopeful strength inside me and cast those thoughts aside: it's my night tonight and I wanna have a ball. No matter how hard he conspires against me. I deserve a little happiness after all the drama and heartbreak I've endured over the last few days on this Ship of Dreams, right? All I ask is just a jolly night of fun, champagne, good music and the company of my dear ones. I don't care about the others and anything else, honestly. I don't need anything else on my birthday night. Sabine's voice saves me from my own considerations and invites me to open my eyes. I oblige, barely refraining my curiosity, and when I do, the view takes my breath away. The Café Parisien is so...beautiful tonight. The breathtaking views on the ocean are framed by red velvet curtains, just like those used in theaters and cinemas, that now decorate the whole room, replacing the usual graceful ivy. A quintet is harmonising under a white trellis braided with ivy while waiters in impeccable first class uniforms are pouring champagne into flautes. They twinkle like gems at the light. The maestro rushes to hand me one, graciously wishing me a happy birthday and assuring me that they will go above and beyond to provide me and my guest a wonderful night. A night to remember, we say at the same time before he bows and resumes his duties. As he leaves, I realise that there are more wonders in store for me. "Sabine what- what are these?" I gasp, taking in the posters of my pictures and even old plays adorning the walls, surrounded by a display of painted props and what looks like postcards? I take a closer look and pick up one of them, being careful not to cause any damage. On the back someone hand-wrote "promotional picture for The Small-Town Showgirl: très chic!". I smile to myself before placing it back and picking another. I cannot believe how my little Napoleon and Adele managed to find this: an old picture of my last performance in Vienna. I turn it to find another note: "So young, so cute, so talented: go, Zetta!". I chuckle at the cheerfulness of the kind author of this comment and I feel truly touched, thankful: I don't know who they are but their words made this homage to my past even more heartwarming. It is truly a tribute to my career, to me. A testament to what I've achieved so far, to who I am. I couldn't have possibly imagined a better way to celebrate my comeback. This is an ode to my renaissance. "That was Miss Carrem's idea, Madam. She mentioned something about her cabinmate being a huge fan of yours as well as the beholder of a collection of posters and memorabilia of your career. She offered to ask her to let us use it tonight." Sabine explains, still standing where I left her, a few steps away. Another soft smile crosses my face at the mention of Adele. I should have known this was your doing, my love. So thoughtful and sweet, just like you. I shouldn't be surprised: over the last few days you've gone to great lengths to support me and to shake me from my dreamless slumber. You showed me how to be a whole again. "Is Adele's cabinmate on the guest list tonight? I'd like to thank her personally" I say, putting the old picture away and turning to face Sabine. "I'm afraid not...je souis desoleé, Madam, I didn't think of adding Mademoiselle Lena, I think that's the name" my little Napoleon winces. She looks taken aback by my question but genuinely sorry. I reassure her that it's nothing when an idea crosses my mind. "Sabine, book a table here at the Café for tomorrow night. Mademoiselle Lena will be my guest over dinner. I'd be delighted to make her acquaintance and it's the least I can do, she's been so kind and generous with me already" I suggest with a smile. My maid considers it for a minute then nods enthusiastically. It sounds like a good idea to her too. Before I can ask if at least Adele is here, the early guests walk in. I should welcome them properly: I flash a quick knowing smile to Sabine and head towards them: may no one say Zetta is a bad host, I won't allow it! Unsurprisingly, the first to kiss my hand is the Baron. Ha, I bet that old dog will be the first to arrive and the last to leave. As the quintet starts playing, he's followed by Lucille, my dear Lucille. She's dashing at the arm of her dignified athlete husband. She kisses my cheeks and comments that I look gorgeous in the outfit...she helped out picking, I remind her giggling. She looks closer to add conspirationally "gorgeous as a Sultan's favorite, my dear! You'll make heads turn". She winks and we both burst out a laughter clinging our glasses. Then it's time to welcome colleagues and wealthy admirers, fellow first class passengers and moguls. Some are friends, some are merely acquaintances that unwritten laws of society and decorum put on my guest list for the night, others are simply upper-crust sharks. As I slip into the idle chit chat the occasion requires, I check the room for any sign of Adele: where is my love I long so dearly to see again? Instead, I almost bump into James and a shiver runs through my spine at the sight of him. What a practised actor he is - better, thinks he is!- all dressed up to the nines and a smile plastered on his face. He kisses my cheeks and wishes me a happy birthday before assuring me, a disturbing playfulness in his voice, that he has something special in store for me. It takes all my acting mastery to fake a surprised reaction and not betray the pang of ache I felt as his threat in disguise left his mouth. "Always full of surprises, my darling, aren't you?" I comment, smiling but there is little warmth inside my battered heart. I take a relieved sigh when he and Matteo walks away to get drinks. Is this how we were supposed to end, Jamie? My heart rejoices though when I notice Lawrence and Felix approaching: I excuse myself with a colleague and move towards them. I greet them with my most genuine smile and pull them both into a tight hug as if they were an anchor: I can only hope it will convey how much I value their presence here, tonight. We may not be closest pals but we share a deep bond. As we linger in our embrace, I think they feel it too. We start chatting as if we've never left each other side since we left Southampton: they flatter me to no end - oh they're certainly among the most refined smooth talkers I've ever known yet, unlike many, earnest and true- and the conversation quickly turn towards the beauty of the decor and even a little humour. The Baron and a couple of other gentlemen join us: we crack jokes and laugh and I finally seem to relax after my brief conversation with my nephew. I'm sharing a silly story with Lawrence when I hear Felix saying: "Oh look, Miss Carrem is here!" I stop mid sentence and turn my head out of instinct as if her name was a siren's song I can't resist. And then I see her: my wondrous love, radiant in a gorgeous blue outfit adorned with gems, "walking in beauty" into the crowd. I can't refrain myself from calling her name as a renewed cheerfulness spreads through my veins. As she waves at me with a shy smile, I can't bear to stay away from her any longer: I hastily excuse myself and make my way toward her, drawn by that magnetic pull that always tether us to each other. I'm almost out of breath for the excitement and joy to be reunited with her when I finally stand in front of her. How hard is to refrain the instinct to hold her in my arms! "Adele! I've been looking for you!" My eyes falls on the pearls around her neck and I can distinctively feel my heart jumping out of my chest: she's wearing my token of affection. "What a lovely necklace..." My voice is as soft as my smile. And a secretive tenderness is written all over my love's face when our eyes meet again. "Thank you for my party. It's divine!" I say, struggling to hide my true feelings. "Don't thank me, thank Sabine" Adele shrugs, her gaze searching for my maid in the crowd. "Wherever she's fluttered off to..." "Sabine is a hard worker, but hard work is nothing without a bit of creative spark - remember that" I wink at her, handing a cold glass of champagne promptly offered by a zealous waiter. I observe her for a moment as she drinks and enjoy the view of her work. I could look at her all day and still find little details to fall for: the tiny dimples forming on her cheeks as she smiles, the way the light dances in her eyes... As the quintet starts playing a waltz, I ask her if she likes the music and if she knows how to waltz. There is a hint of her irresistible playfulness in the way she rises and eyebrow at me, replaying that alas, Viennese waltz isn't the most popular dance in London pubs and taverns. "Is it by chance similar to ragtime?" We burst into laughter and I forget all the unpleasantness lurking in the dark. "I'll teach you one day, if you'd like" I add, smiling softly just as the bell announces the dinner and we are separated once again. Leaving my love's side, I accidentally brush my hand against hers: please know how hard it is to part from you, Adele, even if just for a bright dinner. As I take my seat, I immediately notice that James managed to find a way to change his assigned seat and breath over Adele's neck. Luckily, Sabine and Matteo seem to share my apprehension and our gazes converge on my nephew smiling in a pretender of lovable politeness to my secretary. My little Napoleon and I exchange a resolute look and I know she will keep an eye on them while I'll be busy entertaining my guests. But first, my speech. Sabine taps lightly on her glass with a fork as I stand, rising my flaute. When all eyes are on me, I put on my brightest smile and speak: "Welcome, old friends and new. I'd like to make a little toast - now, now, Lawrence. Don't groan." "Thank you all for being here with me to celebrate my twentieth birthday!" Soft laughter rings among the tables just as expected. I shrug in an exaggerated yet mischievous show of apology. "That's a joke, of course. You'll never know how old I really am. Let's lift our glasses first to my staff, with whom this night would not be possible" I lift my glass to Sabine before laying my eyes on Adele again. My guests oblige, exchanging smiles. "They planned this in matter of days - a testament to the incredible things that can happen in such a short time" I'm glad that my love meets my eyes now because my words are for her only now. "If you're with the right person, that is" I can't betray myself now, I need to keep the Zetta act on but I think Adele noticed the hint of softness I tried to convey with my last line. It was for you, only you, my love. I turn towards the rest of the table as I continue my speech. "I'm sad my Richard can't be here, but that will only make our reunion in New York that much sweeter. I'm so happy all of you could come in his stead to celebrate this next phase of my life, my love, my work...To you!" Everyone raises their glasses and repeat my refrain. A thrill runs through me and I realises that no matter what lies ahead tonight, I'm...happy now. Just happy as I feel, I sense my renaissance starting, no blossoming inside me. I drain my champagne ecstatically and dab my eyes with a kerchief as I take my seat. The dinner is sublime: I can see my little Napoleon's touch here. Every course is a delight for the eye and an explosion of flavour. Champagne is cold and perfect, a divine nectar, and our glasses are never empty for long. I cheer with pleasure every now and then at a new exquisite delight and I ask the zealous waiters to bring my compliment to the chef more than once. Hope that fella will have such a big head tonight after all the effort and expertise he showed here! I try to check on James and Adele whenever I can but my guests are relentless when it comes to chase my attention. They keep sharing awe and singing the praises for the night as well as asking of Richard, if I've heard from him, how things are in New York and how the new picture is getting along. I bet some are covertly fishing for complementary tickets. Others just want to hear stories from the shiny world of cinema. The usual. But I'm happy to oblige tonight. When the dessert is over and the men start searching their coat pockets for cigars, a group of women gather around me. Champagne made us all a bit more daring and social than usual. A bit tipsy too, yes. I chat a little with them before moving to another group of ladies and then another. I hold court, merry and bright as I'll ever be, and steal furtive glances to my love. My beautiful Adele. I'm distracted by a few ladies asking me about my latest trip to Paris. Everyone loves ever eternal Paris... I can't blame them honestly. Walking down the river, the views of Notre Dame and Montmartre: oh, what a dream is Paris! I'm telling them about the artists painting in the streets when I notice another dream, my Adele, approaching. The French capital suddenly vanishes away in my mind as well as my little adoring audience. I stop mid-sentence, for the second time this evening and stand to meet her. Too tipsy to care about what others might think or if they would ever notice, I wrap her fully in an embrace, inhaling her scent. "It really is a wonderful party, isn't it?" I cheer, beaming at her as we part. "And you're the shining star of it all" Adele's soft smile washes over me and I curse our unfortunate fate. If only I could kiss her right here, right now... "I couldn't have done it without you" I say instead. "In fact...I've been singing your praises all night" A foolish idea hits me like a thunder and I gape to myself before taking her hands into mine. "I insist you meet all my interesting friends and foolish acquaintances!" Adele looks taken aback so before she can react,  I wrap my arm with her own and guide her around the room. I get the attention of a group of socialites mingling with a rather popular colleague and introduce her. "This is Adele Carrem, of London" I say, my head high, announcing her like royalty. She deserves it: after all, isn't she the Queen of my heart? We stand like equals here, tonight...since we met, actually. Or at least since I got to know the brave radical standing here at my side. I'm glad to see that everyone treats her with the highest respect: if she's at my arm, she must belong here, they certainly think. I smile approvingly when my young colleague even kiss her hand as he would have done with the wealthiest passengers on board. A couple of directors back from the smoking room join us and the chat gets lively as I discretely play with my hand on the small of her back. One of my guest, Annette, a gracious colleague and friend accidentally met on board asks her about London and our first encounter. I look at my love, unsure of how she would answer to that, how we should answer to that and I see her hesitate a little. My breath catches in my throat even if I try to conceal it but I soon relaxed seeing Adele shrugging nonchalantly, a smile on her lips. "Well, that's a long story..." "The likes of which the world has hardly seen" I complete her sentence with a smirk, amusing our audience with my witty Zetta humour. "Oh, is that how you want to play it?" Adele giggles, making a scene to raise an eyebrow at me. "Why, how do you want to play it? It's true!" I shrug, eliciting new soft laughter. My love playfully dismisses me and turns to my guests. "She's just mad I crushed her at the shuffleboard courts the other day" I let out a hearty laughter. God, it's so easy to fall into an easy rhythm with her, without trying or forcing it. It comes natural, like breathing...as if we were meant to be. "To be precise you didn't crush me. It was almost a tie" "Was it?" Annette inquiry, skeptical and amused by our little show. I hesitate a little, a dramatic pause, my eyes wandering between her and Adele, then I hang my head and groan. "Oh c'mon, she has never played shuffleboard before! Do not butcher my pride!" After my words are welcomed with another round of laughter, Adele starts talking about our time on the ship as if we've known each other for years. I'm so thankful and touched: this is exactly how I feel about her. I wish I knew her earlier. There is warmth, the deep loyalty she showed with deeds not mere words in every little detail she mentions. There is also an affection the world better not see or suspect but people is generally blind to those kind of love and my little revolutionary knows how to be secretive and guarded. When we've made rounds, I need a break. I love the party but I need some fresh air and a private moment with my love. When I see a chance opening, I grab her hand and pull her out into the open air, into the night and to the far end of the deck, toward the end of a row of chairs, where it's quiet. Yes, here it should be safe. We keep silent for a moment than I exhale loudly. "I needed this" I move towards the railing, throwing my head back and breathing in the fresh air of the night. Thank God, the alcohol I had keeps me warm because it's chilly out here. Probably below zero? We must be heading North and we're in the open sea...I bet the water swaying beneath us is freezing. "The quiet?" Adele asks, retrieving a blanket from the chairs. Ah, my most considerate secretary! "Yes, and tonight in general" I consider, rambling as I rest my back on the cold railing. "This party. That food. The wine. It's perfect" "I'm so glad to hear it" Adele smiles, moving closer and wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. "And on top of it all, it's my birthday!" I squeal in a tipsy high pitched voice when she's near enough. My love giggles: yes, I'm probably quite a picture as the fine wine of our dinner is kicking in. She's so beautiful when she laughs, always and her closeness is intoxicating. "What?" I tease her, cocking my head to the side and leaning close enough that my arm touches her. A sparkle of electricity runs up my arm at that casual touch. My eyes quickly stroke her lips before meeting hers again. "Do you have a present for me?" There is no one around, only the faint echo of the quintet playing and the ocean waves. Adele leans in and I smile against her lips as our mouths meet. It's sweet and light, a tender romantic kiss underneath the stars that spread a comforting warmth through my whole body: I don't even need the blanket she's wrapping around my shoulders as she gently pulls me closer. It's been a while since I last felt anything close to this: is this what being in the arms of your love feels like? When we part, we both hesitate. The sounds of the party are distant and there are no passengers or stewards in sight. We smile at each other and kiss again, longer this time but with no hurry or hunger. I touch my hand to her cool cheek: can time stop now? Can a moment last forever? If so, God please let it be this moment when I'm dizzy and drunk of this sweet pure love so far away from land. Eventually we pull back to catch our breath. Before speaking, I take a moment to look at my love smiling softly at me. The gems on her dress twinkle in the dark and I can see the stars reflecting in her eyes. She's my star though, my Northern star casting the brightest light in the dusk of my mad existence. "I've been waiting to do that all night" I sigh contently. As Adele gently strokes my back, I continue unable, unwilling to hide my heart's feelings any longer. "If I'm honest, I don't even want to reach shore, I don't want to go back to the party...I just want to stay out here with you. Forever" My love smiles, tender and pained at the same time. Her voice is as soft as a sweet caress. "I know, I wish this moment didn't have to end" "Let's just make a tent of this blanket - we can live off seal meat and rainwater!" I suggest as the thought of a life lived side by side with her blinds me. We both laugh then Adele speaks again. "What about your acting career?" she inquires, stroking my cheek. "We'll make our own plays. Whaddya say?" I shrug, leaning to the touch. There are so many we cannot say, so many objections but also desperate wishes and dreams on her face. On mine too. I mean it when I said I want to stay here with here forever. I'm not foolish enough to think what I feel blossoming inside me is that ever consuming amour fou immortalised by poets, after what? a couple of days it's too soon to even put a label to it but it's crystal clear to me now that I don't want to part from her. I want her close, near, to warm my troubled soul at the calming yet restless fire burning inside her. Let it kindle what I hid deep inside, away from the prying of the world, and offer it to her, if she wants it too. Sadly, our time is almost over and I embrace Adele tighter when she takes my face in her hands and kiss me again. One last kiss, slow and deep, filled with all we must left unsaid. I return it in kind. When our eyes meet again, I know she felt it too. Our words were silent but we were listening.

[myownworstenemyyy]

can I request “I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…that wasn’t true.” with javi :)

edit: this is Part 1 of the Crystal Clear series

feeling angsty, are we, nonny? 😏 i was so excited to write this one! I hope you like it and mayhaps a part 2 is in the works 😉💕💜💜

prompt from this list: “I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…that wasn’t true.”

word count: 1.7k (gif by @bestintheparsec)

warnings: swearing (obvi) ; cheating on someone ? kinda briefly ? (idk man)

masterlist | also, this fic was heavily inspired by the song Crystal Clear from the beautiful Hayley Williams 🥰

AO3 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“I wanna make it crystal clear that I won't give in to the fear.”

The Texas heat is always unforgiving this time of year. But your garden was starting to look horrendous, so you had decided to just suck it up and get some yard work done. Now, as you kneel in the dirt, your gloved hands deep in the soil and back aching from bending over for so long, you think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. 

The sound of rocks shifting under heavy footsteps has you looking over your shoulder to see a figure approaching. You raise your hand to shield your eyes from the sun shining so brightly behind the stranger, their silhouette being the only thing you can make out. “Can I help you?” you say in a polite, yet cautious voice. 

Your heart nearly stops when an all-too-familiar baritone replies, “Hola, bonita,” as he stops a few feet in front of you - well, technically behind you. Slowly rising to your feet, your eyes fully adjust to the sunlight as you take in the sight of the first man you ever fell in love with. Javier.

He mostly looks the same, save for the slight tan of his skin, along with a few worry lines and wrinkles that have formed over the years since he-

Since he left you.

“Javier,” you state, your voice betraying you when it cracks on the last syllable. What is he doing here? When did he - come back?  

The silence drags on as the two of you study each other, though his expression is much softer than your confused one. “What are you doing here?” you ask at the same time he says, “You look good.” He chuckles, the sound making your stomach flip as your cheeks flush. 

That laugh - god, it’s been so long since you’ve heard it, the last time being the night before he left for Columbia to aid in the capture of Pablo Escobar. Though at the time, you didn’t actually know it would be the last time you’d see him for years to come. You didn’t learn that bit of information until the next morning when you woke up to find a letter in your mailbox - a short apology for his sudden departure. 

But you’d suspected it was more like “fleeing,” especially after you’d told him how you truly felt about him just the night before. Though you suppose you should’ve known better - Javier Peña never was a man who could be committed to one woman for longer than a few nights. Even if that woman was you - his best friend since elementary school. 

Lost in reminiscent thoughts of the two of you together, you don’t notice Javier taking a couple steps closer to where you’re standing. “I just got back a couple days ago and...I needed to see you,” he looks away for a moment, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Well, at least he has the decency to look ashamed.

“OK, you’ve seen me. Now you can go,” you turn around and head towards the front door to your house, leaving your garden a half-done mess. You’ve just reached the first step of the porch when he reaches for your wrist, “Wait - I...I’m sorry, for leaving.”

Releasing a weary sigh, you turn and face him again, his eyes filled with sincerity and something akin to desperation. Your heart instinctively aches to comfort him, but you know that’s not your place - not anymore. “Why?” you ask quietly and the regret lining his features tells you he knows you’re not just referring to why he’s sorry, but why he actually left in the first place without so much as a good-bye. Because you both know you didn’t deserve to find out he was leaving from some piece of paper left on your fucking doorstep.

“I didn’t know how to tell you - that I was assigned to the unit in Columbia. And I couldn’t face you - not after everything you’d said...about-”

“I remember,” you cut him off, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. You bite your bottom lip as it threatens to quiver, the emotions you’ve been suppressing for so long rising to the surface. “You broke my fucking heart, Javi,” your voice breaks, barely above a whisper, as a tear glides down your cheek.

“I know,” he admits in a voice just as softly as he closes his eyes for a moment, releasing a shaky breath, “God, I know, bonita. I - I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…” he takes a deep breath, sliding his hand down your wrist and holding your right hand in both of his, “but...that wasn’t true,” he confesses, his words landing like a punch to the gut.

Your breath hitches when you finally process what he’s said, the meaning behind his words gripping your heart like a vise. He...feels the same way? 

His dark eyes search yours, pleading for you to understand - for you to forgive him. But you’ve fallen speechless as you try to think of a response, barely able to voice a weak, “W-what?” 

As you remain in a state of shock, Javi reaches for your other hand, coming to stand in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Bonita, I-” he starts but then his brow furrows as he looks down at your left hand, his fingers feeling for something under your gardening glove. 

The look of realization on his face is what finally snaps you out of your trance-like state. You swallow hard as you remove the glove from your left hand, bringing it up closer to eye level to show him-

“I’m engaged,” you croak out, your words laced with regret, and you quickly push away every thought rushing to the forefront of your mind. You refuse to acknowledge any bit of reasoning as to why your heart is breaking from sharing the news of your engagement with the man who basically just confessed his love for you.

“Oh,” he swallows hard, his gaze fixated on the simple diamond that suddenly feels like it’s cutting off circulation to your finger. His grip loosens as he releases your hands, wiping his own hand down his face as he turns away, muttering, “Of course you are - soy más pendejo,” he trails off, his back facing you.

You're frozen at the bottom of the porch, clutching your gardening glove to the point of making your knuckles ache. His hands rest on his hips, his head dropping for a moment as he takes one, two, three breaths before turning to face you once more. 

Your heart begins to race as he watches you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Though, the sadness in his eyes is impossible to miss. 

Clenching his jaw, he nods his head once like he’s come to some kind of decision. “Felicidades, bonita. I hope your prometido knows how lucky he is,” he offers a tight-lipped smile before turning on his heel and walking away. It takes a minute for your legs to finally spring into action as you stumble after him, “Javi, wait!” you drop the glove on the ground, no longer caring about the mess in your front yard.

He skids to a stop but remains facing forward, his shoulders tense. Walking around his brooding figure, you face him head-on, “It’s been years since I’ve even heard from you, Javi - you can’t just-” you shake your head incredulously, all the hurt and confusion from his abandonment manifesting itself as anger, “you don’t get to do this to me. You don’t just get to leave, come back and say you have feelings for me - and then fucking leave again!” 

Your chest rises and falls with the same fierce intensity coating your words, but you refuse to back down, “Why did you even come here if you were just gonna leave the minute I rejected you? I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do after you left? Sit around and sulk because my best friend - the man I love - decided to take a job in Columbia, and didn’t even say good-bye?!” 

Your hands fly to your hair in frustration as you start to pace up and down the sidewalk, angry tears welling in your eyes. No, I’m not crying over him again - I did enough of that when he left. But the memory of you sitting on the hardwood floor in your living room, clutching his letter to your chest as you sobbed for hours, has fresh tears spilling onto your cheeks.

“‘Love’, not… ‘loved’?” he asks carefully as he watches you closely, holding his breath while you wipe your face clean with the front of your shirt. You look at him with a furrowed brow, “What?” The adrenaline from your outburst is quickly fading, exhaustion taking its place.

After a beat, you meet his eyes, which are swimming with emotion as he elaborates, “You said ‘the man I love’... not ‘the man I loved.” His face gives nothing away, but you're taken aback when you see an echo of something in his eyes - hope.

You slowly shake your head, “Javi-” but he cuts you off with a desperate plea.

“Please, just-” he takes a step toward you, his hands reaching out to lightly grip your arms, “tell me - tell me you feel nothing for me anymore and I'll leave you alone...for good.” And from the pained look plaguing his features, you know he’ll keep that promise - he'll walk out of your life, taking all the pain and sorrow he’s caused you along with him.

You grip his forearm with a shaky hand, holding onto him like he’s the only thing anchoring you to this moment. Your lip trembles and his brow furrows deeper in concern as your breathing picks up, your entire being overwhelmed by the emotions boiling over within you.

“I...can't,” you breathe out, looking into his dark eyes as you bring your hands to his face, your fingers hesitantly stroking his cheek. His chest is rising and falling to the same tempo as yours, his lips slightly parted as you trace your fingers over his bottom lip, mesmerized by the curve and slight pout that permanently lives there.

“Bonita-” but it's your turn to interrupt him, only this time it's not with words. You cradle his face in your hands and push up on the tips of your toes until your lips meet his - and the rest of the world fades away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translations:

bonita - pretty / beautiful

soy más pendejo  - I'm the biggest dumbass 😂

Felicidades - Congratulations

prometido - fiance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag list: (let me know if you wanna be added/removed)

@spacegayofficial @themandjalorian @hiscyarika @mandoispunk @madadlorian @pedrolorians @forever-rogue @longitud-de-onda @certifiedskywalker @dindjarindiaries @no-droids-allowed @aerynwrites @buckyodinson @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gooddaykate @fanfiction-trashpile @arrowswithwifi @letaliabane @thinemineours @ham4arrow @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @thisainttheway @bluemoon-glen @katialvi  @bestintheparsec @24kgolden @livasaurasrex @c-ly-g @triggerhappyflyboyy @fangirl-and-stuff @mrsparknuts @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @kimljn @kristalhi @fatbottomedcurls @auty-ren @mabelleen @rzrcrst @pascalisthepunkest @blushingwueen @lovingtheway @beskars @mandoandyodito @roxypeanut @rosamedina92 @sinnamon-bun @ct-arc-5555 @keeper0fthestars @poe-pascal @spacemacandcheese @destucky45 @marvelwars @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @frietiemeloen @waywardodysseys @thick-dick-daddy-mando @haildoodles-writing @walkerchick007 @miraelles

[thevoilinauttheory]

Music Profile

Rules: For many of us, music is a source of inspiration for our characters, so I want to know what songs inspire and/relate to your muse! Choose between 10-15 songs, compile them into an album and tag some friends to share the beat!

As tagged by @lukawarrioroflight​ so very, very, very long ago. You made me do a bad thing - which was spend at least 3 hours compiling a list of 10 songs for each of the characters I roleplay the most. M’nhea’s will come first - since I haven’t thought too much about songs for him - and all the others (Maximiloix, Danny, and Amosis) will be listed under the cut. These songs aren’t in a specific order~ 

I’m going to pick up the tags again for once, so I’m tagging: @renofmanyalts​, @jasleh​, @amdapori​, @prodigalsong​, @spotofmummery​, @journeybetweenworlds​, @astralyehga​, @houserosaire​, @cadrenebula​, @ever-searching​, @munchix-home-cooking​, @egrine​

M’nhea Tia:

Silhouettes - Of Monsters and Men

There's nothing that I'd take back But it's hard to say there's nothing I regret Cause when I sing, you shout I breathe out loud You bleed, we crawl like animals But when it's over, I'm still awake

Coming of Age - Foster the People

When my fear pulls me out to sea And the stars are hidden by my pride and my enemies I seem to hurt the people that care the most Just like an animal, I protect my pride When I'm too bruised to fight And even when I'm wrong, I tend to think I'm right

RUNAWAY - half.alive

I hold my life out in front of me, dreams of who I want to be I'm seeing every empty page But I find that everything I am is everything I should be I don't need to run away I don't need to run away Yeah I don't need to run away

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Hey young blood Doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix Wearing our vintage misery No, I think it looked a little better on me I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix

Knights of Cydonia - Muse

No one's gonna take me alive The time has come to make things right You and I must fight for our rights You and I must fight to survive

It’s Not My Fault, I’m Happy - Passion Pit

It's not right, it's not right How am I the only one who sees us fight? What are we? Who are they? Who says those bastards don't deserve to pay? Well it's enough, it's just enough 'cause we don't stand a chance So long you stay around, you're just another song and dance It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair Still I'm the only one who seems to care

Hunger - Of Monsters and Men

Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you Voices disappear when you are speaking, in somber tunes I will be the wolf and when you're starving, you'll need it too Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you It isn't you, it isn't

The Best - AWOLNATION

I'm hardly perfect I'm barely good Just shy of greatness Ah-ah I'm heavy metal And hollow wood Just shy of patience Ah-ah

Titanium - David Guetta, ft. Sia

Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall Ghost town and haunted love Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones I'm talking loud, not saying much

I Just Wanna Shine - Fitz & The Tantrums

So I wake up I get out of bed, and stay up Stay out of my head 'Cause it's dangerous And I don't wanna lose my mind, no

Maximiloix:

Warrant - Foster the People

Fear is like a fake friend It warms you up and takes you in You mouth the words but no sound comes out Fear is like your best friend Manipulates and takes you in You mouth the words No sound again

Choke - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Now shut your dirty mouth If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate To smile while you suffocate and die And that would be just fine What a lovely time That it would surely be So bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep

Punching in a Dream - The Naked and Famous

All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces Fight, flight, or the screams, life tearing at the seams Wait, I don't ever want to be here Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare

I Am a Nightmare - Brand New

So come shake your Zen out And give me pure energy My heart is glowing fluorescent, I want you to possess it I’m not a prophecy come true I’ve just been goddamn mean to you So what is this thing laced with Please, don't replace me I surrender, embrace me Whatever I'm faced with

Crystals - Of Monsters and Men

I know I'll wither so peel away the bark 'Cause nothing grows when it is dark In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear I see it all so clear

Crown of Love - Arcade Fire

They say it fades if you let it Love was made to forget it I carved your name across my eyelids You pray for rain, I pray for blindness

Thank God I’m Not You - Himalayas

You could call me narcissistic You could say I'm of no worth You could call me the scorn of Satan But I could be so much worse

To My Enemies - Saint Motel

You know that talk is cheap Keep talkin' as I turn my cheek You know that no one really cares (Did you know that, did you know that?) It wasn't that long ago You wanted to slit my throat To find out if my blood bleeds blue (Did you know that, did you know that?)

An Honest Mistake - The Bravery

Sometimes I forget I'm still awake I fuck up and say these things out loud My old friend... I swear I never meant for this I never meant...

Forgive Me Friend - Smith & Thell

'Cause I fell in the hole, in the hole, in the hole My heart was turning cold, turning cold, turning cold I never wanted this to end, can you forgive me friend?

Danny:

Upside Down & Inside Out - OK Go

I wish I had said the things you thought that I had said Gravity's just a habit that you're really sure you can't break So when you met the new you Were you scared? Were you cold? Were you kind? Yeah when you met the new you Did someone die inside?

Houdini - Foster the People

Got shackles on, my words are tied Fear can make you compromise With the lights turned up, it's hard to hide Sometimes I wanna disappear

Dance Dance Dance - 65daysofstatic

[Instrumental]

Cradles - Sub Urban

Tape my eyes open to force reality (Oh no, no) Why can’t you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days Sometimes I can't tell if my body belongs to me

Fire - Barnes Courtney

Oh, a thousand faces staring at me Thousand times I've fallen Thousand voices dead at my feet Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

Meet Me in the Woods - Lord Huron

I have seen what the darkness does Say goodbye to who I was I ain't never been away so long Don't look back, them days are gone Follow me into the endless night I can bring your fears to life Show me yours and I'll show you mine Meet me in the woods tonight

Simmer - Hayley Williams

Control There's so many ways to give in Eyes closed Another way to make it to ten Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy? Gotta simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer down

Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second - STRFKR

All my life There you go Oh please stay Just this once Anyway

Cigarette Daydreams - Cage the Elephant

Funny how it seems like yesterday As I recall you were looking out of place Gathered up your things and slipped away No time at all I followed you into the hall Cigarette daydream You were only seventeen So sweet with a mean streak Nearly brought me to my knees

In the Woods Somewhere - Hozier

The creature lunged I turned and ran To save a life I didn't have Dear, in the chase There as I flew Forgot all prayers Of joining you

Amosis:

Vy från ett luftslott - Kent

Där missilerna möts De viskar: hålen i himlen ska bli våran död Ovanför molnen Där djävulen bor De viskar: hålen i himlen är från hans klor

//

Where the missiles meet They whisper: the holes in the heavens will be our death Above the clouds Where the devil lives They whisper: the holes in the heavens are from his claws

Panic Station - Muse

Ooh, 1, 2, 3, 4 fire's in your eyes And this chaos, it defies imagination Ooh, 5, 6, 7 minus 9 lives And I know that you will fight for the duration Ooh, 1, 2, 3, 4 fire's in your eyes And you know I'm not resisting your temptations Ooh, 5, 6, 7 minus 9 lives You've arrived at panic station

Destruction - Joywave

I wanna know who you told 'til they're all laying on the floor Frozen to the core I wanna know who you told 'til it's nobody anymore Nobody anymore

Little Dark Age - MGMT

I grieve in stereo The stereo sounds strange You know that if it hides It doesn't go away If I get out of bed You'll see me standing all alone Horrified On the stage My little dark age

The Wolf - SIAMÉS

I’m out of my head Of my heart and my mind 'Cause you can run but you can’t hide I’m gonna make you mine Out of my head Of my heart and my mind 'Cause I can feel how your flesh now Is crying out for more

It Doesn’t Matter Why - Silversun Pickups

You hear us come and go, we know You wonder if we're not alone, we're alone You think about us all the time, don't Because it doesn't matter why we're known We're just known, we're just known

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

He sleeps alone He needs no army where he's headed cause he knows That they're just ghosts And they can't hurt him if he can't see them, ohh And I may go To places I have never been to just to find The deepest desires in my mind

still.feel - half.alive

So when I lose my gravity in this sleepy womb Drifting as I dream, but I'll wake up soon To realize the hand of life is reaching out To rid me of my pride I call allegiance to myself

Iron - Woodkid

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't remind your eyes, your face

Content - Joywave

I'm searching for the difference between What content and content can bring Maybe they're no different 'cause they look the same (They look the same) Maybe I'm just an algorithm with a given name (A given name) But... trying to find the difference The difference, the difference, the difference

[purplesurveys]

772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

[morganas-pendragons]

I’m Running To You | B.B.

Before you fade from me. 

This will have minor and major Endgame spoilers. You were warned. 

I’m really only writing Bucky for @buckychrist now, so this is for you hayley

00000000000

He knows it’s not right from the first time he arrives at your door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Sunflowers. The amount of heart that he intentionally puts into your relationship is unlike any of the relationships he had before he fell. He shouldn’t pursue you, but he does. He chases you harder then he’s ever chased anyone, and Bucky is one hundred percent anticipating smacking his face against the ground in the process. He’s anticipating falling, 

No. You... You are everything Bucky has been searching for since waking up in the ice. HYDRA had drilled it into his brain from the start - a mantra on repeat in his mind - Unworthy, unloved, bred for war and stained in the blood of millions. A ruthless killing machine incapable of feeling loved. Of being loved. 

You had taken his broken form, malleable in your hands, and crafted him into this remarkable man he almost didn’t recognize when he glanced in the mirror. And when he looked at you, oh he knew. Bucky knew you were proud of your creation and proud of him for learning that he could stand on his own feet. That he could be his own man. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified of losing you, though. Terrified of how his heart would betray him when you inevitably died before his eyes, or died by his own hand. 

What a nightmare that would be. 

2018

Dated for two years, married just a few weeks ago, and now here the two of you stood side by side in arms against the forces of Thanos. You were human - simply mortal - and without any skills like his own. You didn’t have serum flowing through your blood like he and Steve did. You weren’t a genius like Bruce and Tony, but he learned quick after meeting you in 2016 that you were more then capable with a weapon. 

  After the Compound had dove into chaos, you’d parted from Steve and Sams side in frantic search of Bucky. The two of you had only met weeks before in the slums of Bucharest, when you’d caught him rifling through his jacket for money to purchase his plums. He was sweet, and your heart ached to provide for him. 

He just didn't know how much of an influence you’d have. 

You gripped his hand in your own and lead him through the alleys that provided cover for your apartment. It was a one bedroom, one bath, but surely big enough for you and your newest acquaintance. He’d been reluctant. You had to reassure him that no one would find you here, and that he’d be safe. 

That was a word he very rarely heard anymore. Safe. 

Bucky told you about The Soldier from the first night, and made it abundantly clear that you were to not get in his way if HYDRA ever reactivated him with his trigger words. 

  “I don’t think you get it, James.” You whispered, caressing his cheekbones with the back of your hand. “No matter how much he’d want to, I don’t think The Soldier would be able to hurt me.” 

You are still the only person he’s never physically harmed. The Soldier succumbs to the tenderness in your words, the soft gaze of your eyes, and he’s ready to comply to whatever you say because you are and were the only human being who sought to never harm him. 

  “Why’s that doll?” 

  “Because in the end, he only wants a home for his aching heart.” 

You found him rather easily, but it took some coaxing for The Soldier to believe you were not a threat. It was only after you kicked your gun across the room that he chose to believe you, and then Steve came barging in and well - We all know what happened there. 

The point is, he’d never hurt you. And you thought he never would.. not up until the two of you were together in Wakanda. Upon hearing that Shuri Udaku, a mere sixteen year old, was capable of removing HYDRAS brainwashing from Bucky’s mind - you almost forced him into doing it. It required extensive cryosleep, but if it meant there was a possibility of a future, you’d take it. 

  “Will you be here when I wake up, doll?” 

Your lips quirked upward in a smile as the cryo-chamber slowly began to close, and you rested your hand against the lid. Bucky had been particularly skilled in the art of reading lips, and so you murmured, “Until I fade from you.” 

You’d fallen in love with him. Gradually, slowly over time, but he’d stolen you alot quicker then you’d been anticipating. 

Bucky came out cryo in late 2017, early 2018, but you’d put off marrying each other until he was comfortable with himself. The two of you lived in Wakandas country side and tended to the fields, meditated together, took charge of the children for the other tribes together. It was the closest thing you’d get to a future. 

T’Challa came to you in the early days of summer, dressed to the nines in his regal robes, and very politely asked if you wanted a wedding. You were so stunned by the question that it was hard not to say yes. 

  “I’m sorry.. what did you say?” 

T’Challa smiled at your shock and flexed his fingers. “It seems my sister has not kept quiet about your relations with our White Wolf, and so she has convinced our mother and the Dora to prepare a ceremony. Traditionally Wakandan, of course. I’m here to see if you’d accept.” 

Of course you’d accept. It would’ve been ridiculous not to. 

The ceremony was held in the most beautiful part of the city. You wore the best dress they could provide, which was a marvel in itself, and donned the most beautiful wedding rings you could’ve asked for. There was joy and laughter and song. No one left disappointed.

You went home to your tent that night as Mrs. Bucky Barnes. It was less then a month later when he came back again and asked for the two of you to fight, and now here you stood in the ruins of the Wakandan outskirts with Steve Rogers by your side. 

It was deathly silent. 

  “Well, is that it? Did we-” The word win lingers on your tongue, and somewhere deep inside of you, you know there was a price to be paid. “Steve?” 

You realize about 2.5 seconds later that Bucky also simultaneously said the name of the other super-soldier, and your happiness is short lived when the man you love turns to dust right in front of your very eyes. 

And then it’s silent again. Silence in the air, silent in your mind, until you begin comprehending the reality of what has just happened: Bucky Barnes is dead. He faded from you before you could catch him.

That’s when you start screaming. 

2023

It’d been 5 years since “The Snap” and learning how to adjust to a life without Bucky is the hardest thing you’d ever done. You had buried yourself into taking care of the other Avengers who still lived in the compound. It granted a distraction for a little while, but then you were right back at the beginning. Mourning over Bucky. 

Natasha took it upon herself to send you out to Tony. Given that he didn’t live in the Compound any more and instead sought out solace in the country with his daughter and wife, she thought it was the best place for you to find peace.

What you found instead was two of your current best friends and the best god-daughter you could’ve asked for. 

  “Y/N!” Morgan eagerly pulled on your jeans as you looked over the prints for the machine beside Tony. It had been a few days since Natasha and Steve had left him alone with his daughter after the proposition of traveling through the quantum realm to receive the stones. The only logical way to get your husband and the others back. “Daddy says you like to sing.” 

  “Your daddy is a liar, Morgan-” 

  “But he said you used to sing to him all the time!” 

You hadn’t sang a note since Bucky had died. You’d lost your voice when he'd gone, and you weren’t planning on getting it back. “Okay, sweet girl. Just cause you’re my favorite Stark, I’ll sing you one of my favorites. Are you okay with that?” 

Morgan Stark was a precious, precious girl. A girl who’d get to grow up with her father and would know the story of the woman who had died to save the world. 

You gently tucked the youngest Stark into her bed and propped yourself up at her side, fingers carding through her hair as you began to sing, “And the blood will dry.. underneath my nails..” 

You’d found him in the aftermath of the battle. Everyone was there - all those who had faded before - ready to face the threat of Thanos and his armies. The gauntlet was missing in action, away from the hands of the Titan, but the only way to resolve the issue was to snap. 

And up until the last five minutes, you were sure it was going to be Tony. Tony, who would have sacrificed worlds if it meant that Pepper and Morgan were safe. Tony, who had been held captive by his own demons and forced to face his mistakes time and time again. Tony was not the one who was meant to sacrifice himself for the greater good of the world. He had too much to lose, too much to live for.

  “And the wind will rise up to fill my sails...” 

Thanos had snapped his fingers, and nothing happened. It wasn’t until he turned around and looked at you - a human who had done nothing special - that he realized his fate. You wielded the gauntlet, rage coursing through your blood stream and determination flashing in your eyes before you said, “I am.. worthy.” 

Worthy. Worth. The one thing Bucky had never thought he had, or that he was deserving of. Funny how it’s the minuscule details that come to mind when you’re dying. 

 “I’m coming home... I’m coming home..” 

Keeping your eyes open proved to be difficult. The entire right side of your body had lost feeling almost as soon as you’d snapped, and you knew when the other Avengers came to surround you that this was it. You’d sacrificed yourself for them to get their happy ending. 

But you weren't gonna get yours, and neither was he.

  “Tell the world I’m coming home.. let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday..”

Steve gently pressed his thumb against the earpiece tucked into his ear as Tony maneuvered you into his arms. “Bucky,’’ He said quietly. “Follow Mjolnir. Hurry.” The super soldier rose his arm and used the hammer as a flag while Bucky hurriedly sought him out. What he wasn’t anticipating was the consequence of whoever had snapped. 

You. 

  “Y/N? Y/N!” You can’t move. Your lungs are deflating, barely taking in air, but it’s just enough to keep your eyes open long enough to see your husband come crashing down at your feet. Chasing you, as he always had been. “What-Stark, can you-” 

Tony shook his head as he loosened his grip on your form. There is no hope for a cure. You’d taken that gauntlet very well knowing the consequences of it, of what you were to lose. You just didn’t think you’d miss him more after he came back home. 

  “We can’t fix her, Barnes.” Tony replied. “This is.. It’s permanent.” 

 “And though my kingdom awaits, and they’ve forgiven my mistakes..” 

  “James.” It’s all you could manage, but it was just enough for Bucky to look up at your face. Despite the pain radiating through your bones and the lack of air your lungs were inhaling.. You looked oddly at peace with yourself. 

Bucky swallowed the knot growing in his throat as he took your hand. “It’s-It’s okay, doll. I’m gonna be okay. We’re all gonna be okay.” His metal arm slowly rose until his fingers came in contact with your cheek, and he cursed his inability to feel your skin beneath his fingers. “You’ve spent so much time taking care of me.. showing me I was a better man then what HYDRA turned me into. You’ve done your work, soldier. And don’t forget, never forget how much I loved you-” 

  “I’m coming home.. I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming.. home.” 

It had been rather difficult to keep himself composed in front of you, but Bucky managed to whisper, “Sleep.” just before your eyes fluttered shut and your hand went limp in his own. 

There’s a million things that flash before his eyes at that precise moment - all the lives that never came - and then he realized how silent it was in the aftermath of the battle. Thanos’ armies have been vanquished and they’d won the war, but the silence was deafening. They should’ve been celebrating, for Gods sake-

And then he realizes why it’s so quiet. It’s because they’re mourning you, all the people around him who watched as Tony Stark rose from the Earth and cradled your body in his embrace while Rhodey pried the gauntlet from your arm. Those who stood in the background that had ventured back into the world with him, and those who had been influenced by your kindness and softened heart when you’d been working with the Avengers. 

But then it hits him, when he starts screaming until his voice is raw, that you are dead. Bucky ran and ran and ran after you and the future you were supposed to have, and because he fell flat on his face, his worst nightmare had come true.

Bucky thought learning how to live again would be possible after they’d buried you at Tonys countryside cabin, but when Steve inevitably leaves him as well, it became too overwhelming. He drowned himself in alcohol and home-videos, and his eyes burned as an hour became days of watching the evolution of your relationship unfold on camera. 

And he thinks about the days that never came as the words flow freely from the speakers of his TV. 

  “Oh Sergeant Barnes... I’m running to you before you fade from me.” 

He just hadn’t been fast enough to catch you. 

[theworkofxanderking]

The Originals: Bad Blood (Alternative Season 5)

Episode Six: From Here to Hell Town (Part One of Two)

Warnings: I do not own the original content to “The Originals”, “The Vampire Diaries” or “Legacies” or any of the characters from the television shows.

15 plus, displays of Violence, Gore, Torture, M/M, F/M, F/F.

Klaus found himself walking through the woods of Mystic Falls which looked exactly like it did a thousand years ago a time when things may have been simpler but were far less tolerable.

He vamp sped through the forest only to find him back in the same spot so he continued to vamp speed and try and escape but kept returning to the same point much to his disappointment.

“No matter how hard you try Niklaus everything always leads back to here.” Nathaniel said to him appearing from out of thin air much to Klaus’ surprise.

“What kind of bloody spell have you cast on me?” Klaus snapped at him.

“This is no spell Niklaus I am only here because I’m on your mind.” Nathaniel replied with a smile across his face.

“Of course, you’re on my mind you’re a treacherous bastard I would’ve done anything for you, and you return after a thousand years to treat me and my family like chess pieces.” Klaus shouted while walking towards Nathaniel.

“That’s not how I recall it I asked you to leave this place with me, but you couldn’t.” Nathaniel responded. “I wanted a life with you and instead we both have had several lifetimes without each other.”

“Why are you doing all this?” Klaus snapped while grabbing a hold of Nathaniel. “What did I do to ever deserve this from you?”

“You ripped out my heart,” Nathaniel replied as Klaus found himself choking on blood only to look down to see Nathaniel’s hand inside his chest. “Now I will rip out yours.”

Suddenly Klaus woke up in his bed shirtless and sweating while heaving panting looking around his bedroom to realize, he was at the compound and it was all just a dream. Sadly, the return of his former love now possible enemy was no dream but a living nightmare.

Hope and Hayley were in the bayou fight training with each other each wearing boxing gloves and gym gear Hope managing to hold her own against her mother but neither hitting the other particularly hard clearly not wanting to hurt each other and training to keep themselves ready for a fight they had a feeling was coming.

“Not too bad!” Hayley said as she threw a punch in her daughter’s direction only for Hope to duck and miss Hayley’s fist.

“I had a good teacher.” Hope replied as she launched her foot at her mother’s legs tripping her up in the process and causing Hayley to fall to the ground back first. “Now are we going to talk about my uncle Henrik returning from the dead all grown up and ready to kill us all or is everyone going to just keep lying to me?”

“We’re not trying to hide anything from you Hope it’s just we don’t really know much right now.” Hayley answered her daughter while rising back on her feet. “Rebekah’s gone to some weird ass ghost town to speak to this Malus guy under some illusion she can get more information out of him I mean if anyone could it’d be your aunt Bex.”

“You know just once I’d like to get a family reunion that doesn’t end in somebody being murdered.” Hope responded with a sigh. “I can’t believe Aunt Rebekah gets to go witch hunting for possibly the most mysterious sounding witch in history and I’m stuck here, no offense.”

“Offense taken,” Hayley said with a sarcastic smile. “Rebekah has history with him and she’s immortal so she’s allowed to go witch hunting you however are a 15-year-old girl who should be studying not hunting.”

“Please mum I’m part wolf and their all about hunting not to mention my father is an original vampire and we all know they are the number one predator.” Hope said making it clear she was not a little girl anymore. “I’m not saying I want to be thrown into every crazy situation our family gets into because quite frankly nobody’s got enough time in the calendar for that, but I want to get involved from time to time instead of always feeling left out.”

“Hope you are involved,” Hayley told her as she gave her daughter a hug. “Everything we do both your father and I is to keep you safe to give you a better life than either of us ever had.”

“I know that’s what you think your doing but I’m not some little princess who needs protecting I’m a Tribrid and I’m pretty sure I could take you.” Hope said as she brushed off her mother’s hug.

“You think so huh?” Hayley laughed. “I’ll tell you what the next Mikaelson mission I go on you can come with but only if you can beat me.”

“I’ll take it easy on you mother by not using any magic because that would be too easy.” Hope replied with a sinister smirk eager to prove herself as a formidable opponent.

Rebekah drove down an empty clearly run down road while driving a luxury sports car with the roof down so the wind would freely blow her hair as she blared music only for Bonnie who was sitting on the passenger seat to switch off the radio much to Rebekah’s dismay.

“Do you really need to switch off my music every bloody time I’m just starting to get into the song?” Rebekah asked her while keeping her eye on the road.

“You asked me to come with you to a creepy ghost town to meet a creepy witch now is not the time for music.” Bonnie moaned at her.

“You could’ve simply said no and left me to face the wicked old witch by myself after all I’ve faced many in my time.” Rebekah replied to her.

“All three Malus witches are a threat to not only you and your siblings but anyone who possesses magic which includes my witches in New Orleans, your niece Hope who I can imagine is quite high up on the list being an all-powerful Tribrid and then myself of course. Not to mention once their done with New Orleans they’ll probably head straight for Mystic Falls where there’s a school filled with magical students.” Bonnie said to Rebekah making it clear she was literally carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders in that moment.

“You are truly remarkable Bonnie Bennet I struggle to care for my own siblings at time’s Niklaus especially which I’m sure you can understand why and yet you somehow care for everyone.” Rebekah complimented her. “But here’s a little hint from one girl to another loving everybody else leaves very little time for loving yourself and a lot of time for heartbreak after heartbreak.”

“Enzo used to always tell me to be a little more selfish.” Bonnie replied with a smirk before a look of heartbreak crossed her face. “I tried that with him, and it ended with Stefan ripping his heart out right in front of me and me having to be a bridesmaid while my best friend married the man who killed the one, I loved.”

“See that the there is not selfish that’s the epitome of Bonnie Bennet only you would do something like that after what Stefan took from you I would’ve ripped his heart out on his pretty wedding to Caroline and made sure blood drenched her wedding dress purely for the satisfying visuals and dramatic effect.” Rebekah revealed.

“Trust me there were many times I pictured killing Stefan and then he died, and I couldn’t help but blame myself for not saving him.” Bonnie admitted. “I despised him and yet I still felt guilty because my best friend the most loving person in the world lost her husband the same day, she married him.”

“If you ask me Caroline had a lucky escape loving Stefan Salvatore only ends in heartache especially when doppelgangers are in the mix even if Elena chose Damon in the end I’m sure Katherine would find some way of claiming Stefan even from the great beyond.” Rebekah reassured Bonnie in typical Rebekah fashion. “Besides Caroline needs someone who challenges her, someone who can handle her and who she can handle.”

“I swear if you say Klaus, I’m throwing myself out of this car right now.” Bonnie laughed.

“Believe it or not Bonnie but when us Mikaelson’s love we love with every fiber of our being even if the world sees us as monsters.” Rebekah replied with a sigh of sadness.

“I know it’s just when also when you hate you hate with every fiber of your being.” Bonnie admitted causing Rebekah to laugh.

“Bonnie Bennet I think I’m beginning to like you or at least tolerate you.” Rebekah revealed as she gave Bonnie a smile before returning her attention to the road. “I sure hope you don’t wind up dead today.”

Klaus walked into the dining area of the compound to find Hayley, Marcel and Elijah sitting at his table clearly having a conversation which had been hushed by his arrival making Klaus keen to know what his family had been keeping from him this time.

“Please don’t tell me another mistake of mine has crawled out of their graves to torment me further.” Klaus said to them.

“Actually, we just having a conversation about a Mikaelson representative at the faction meetings.” Marcel with a wicked smile clearly ready for the inevitable drama to unfold.

“Finally, some good news,” Klaus responded with a smile of his own. “I promise to try and be as reasonable as possible and perhaps even attempt following some rules.”

“Yeah see I agreed to a Mikaelson representative, but I never said I was going to agree to it being you.” Marcel revealed to him as he stood up from his chair.

“Please there is no Mikaelson better fitting than me!” Klaus snapped.

“History shows that there is no Mikaelson less fitting than you.” Hayley said as she too stood up from her chair. “Out of all the Mikaelson’s you have the most enemies and that’s quite a feat considering Kol has less enemies than you.”

“Kol has the right attitude but fails to make a lasting impression like I do.” Klaus replied with a sinister smirk.

“Brother it really is in the family’s best interest that we make this work this time around with as little bloodshed as possible.” Elijah told his younger brother as he was the last to stand up from his chair.

“That’s easy for you to say I was once a king in this city!” Klaus shouted. “And now you want me to be what another local?”

“Hey at least now you can put your full attention on seeking out Henrik and Nathaniel where are we on that by the way?” Marcel said to Klaus attempting to change the subject.

“Rebekah and bloody Bonnie Bennett are heading to some hell town as we speak to seek them out,” Klaus snapped while looking at Marcel, Hayley and Elijah with pure fury in his eyes. “However, I may advise them to switch sides with me and align ourselves with Henrik instead.”

“Bonnie is the least likely person to ever work alongside you Klaus.” Hayley said with a smirk clearly amused by Klaus’ rage.

“This will not stand!” Klaus shouted before looking at Elijah. “You’re the Mikaelson representing at these meetings.”

“Yes, but I promise to work alongside you as much as possible brother.” Elijah admitted to him.

“Well good luck to the lot of you because the only thing more boring than endless meetings is Elijah and you’ve just aligned the two now that’s the ultimate enemy give me psychotic witches and long lost zombie siblings any day over meetings with Elijah.” Klaus moaned in a fit before vamp speeding out of the dining area leaving Elijah, Hayley and Marcel smirking at each other over his reaction to their news.

Rebekah’s car pulled up just in front of the graffiti-ed Welcome to Helton signed which was graffiti-ed to say Welcome to Hell town as Rebekah and Bonnie got out of the car and walked over to the sign so that the two of them were standing right next to it.

“Did somebody really have to make this place any spookier by calling it Hell town?” Bonnie asked while looking at the sign.

“Trust me the sign is not as bad as what’s after it and I’m not talking about hooded robes pulling out hearts I’m talking about the entire town seeming haunted. Murders I can take however ghosts of people already dead and usually by me or my blood well they tend to be a little bit trickier.” Rebekah replied to her.

“Why have we stopped here?” Bonnie questioned.

“We’re walking the rest of the way just in case things get messy I don’t want my car coming to any harm.” Rebekah answered her as the two began walking in wards to the ghost town.

“Suddenly I’m finding this place creepier than the person living here.” Bonnie revealed. “And I can’t help but wonder why a powerful witch would reside here instead of somewhere more extravagant or at least less dead although I suppose they do specialize in death magic.”

“Ghost towns make good prisons or at least that’s what Nathaniel would like me to believe is the only reason I can tell this place means something to him I just haven’t figured out what yet and honestly that’s the last question on my mind needing answered by him.” Rebekah admitted to Bonnie.

“You mean like how he went from human to Malus almighty in a thousand years or how he learned about his magic if so far it’s only him, his father and Henrik that appear to have this ancient magic knowing he must’ve taught Henrik and his father was too busy trying to kill him to play teacher.” Bonnie went on to say as they continued their walking inwards to Helton.

“Exactly well that and the added power hungry consuming magic thing.” Rebekah answered. “Don’t get me wrong he seems like more of a bastard than he was a thousand years ago, but I can still see Nathaniel in there or at least I’ve fooled myself into seeing him.”

“You want to trust him, don’t you?” Bonnie asked her as they walked up to the abandoned town center of Helton.

“Of course, I do he was my first friend, Niklaus’ first love although he thought we didn’t know, and he was like family.” Rebekah said with a sigh of sadness. “Makes sense as to why he wants to kill us now.”

“I don’t think he does I mean he removed The Hollow from you and your siblings and only wanted you to free your brother in return.” Bonnie said to her as the two stopped outside the boarded-up Helton Hotel. “As wicked as Malus is meant to be so far, he seems only to be of help to you even though you drained him of his blood. I don’t think he’s fully giving into this magic like his father and Henrik has and that’s the real reason he needs our help because he’s not powerful enough to take down his father alone and he needs help saving Henrik.”

“What you genuinely believe that unlike all Malus witches Nathaniel has somehow fought the darkness within this magic for over a thousand years?” Rebekah asked in shock. “That’s impossible.”

“Is it? We don’t know much about Malus most of it is whispers of whispers and to be honest with you I’m putting money on Nathaniel not being too much of an expert either.” Bonnie replied.

“His father would be though, and it just so happens he’s being held right here.” Rebekah said with a scheming smile. “As long as we’re smart about it, we can finally get the answers that Elijah and Nathaniel have been keeping from us.”

“Or we release the nastier version of Nathaniel into the world and get nothing but lies.” Bonnie warned her.

“Don’t you want to know more about this magic? We are powerful women you lead an entire city of witches and I reunited my family and yet we’re kept in the dark so to speak by men.” Rebekah stated. “Let’s get the answers from the father then we’ll have more sway when we speak to the son.”

“Okay I’m in but if anything goes wrong, we get the hell out of hell town.” Bonnie told her.

“You’ve been dying to say that haven’t you?” Rebekah laughed.

“Perhaps just a little.” Bonnie responded with a smile.

Hope found herself walking down the busy streets of the French Quarter before taking a turn down an alleyway only to be left surprised to see Nathaniel stood in the alleyway instantly recognizing him as somebody with immense power realizing he must be the powerful witch her family had been talking about.

“So, I don’t see any family resemblance so I’m going to guess that you are my father’s ex Nathaniel and not my uncle Henrik.” Hope said to him.

“Ex?” Nathaniel replied with a smirk. “I suppose that is the correct term I must say you truly are remarkable Hope Mikaelson defying the impossible and not being one but three of the supernatural a true hybrid.”

“Less of the flattery please why don’t you get straight to the reason to why your hanging out in alleyways looking for a fifteen-year-old.” Hope snapped at him.

“I would go to Bonnie but I’m afraid one favour is more than enough to owe the Bennett’s and as for your aunt Freya she is rather busy with the whole pregnancy and everything and besides she doesn’t strike me as anywhere near as powerful as you Hope.” Nathaniel explained. “I’ve been working with your uncle Elijah with a plan to rid myself of my retched father and save Henrik’s soul however what he doesn’t know is that’s plan B you my precious little fireball are plan A.”

“And what makes you think I would be foolish enough to trust you?” Hope asked him.

“Because all you’ve ever wanted is your family united and I’m trying my everything to help Henrik be a part of that family.” Nathaniel admitted. “All I’ve ever wanted was for Henrik to live a life different to my own to be free from the curse that comes with this magic.”

“My aunt Rebekah went to go find you she’s going to be super pissed to find out you’re in New Orleans.” Hope responded trying to change the subject only to see Nathaniel’s facial expressions change to that of pure fear.

“Rebekah went looking for me did she not think to run it past Elijah?” Nathaniel asked the youngest Mikaelson as he began to fear the worst.

“Yeah my aunt Bex doesn’t really ask for permission for anything from anyone.” Hope said while noticing Nathaniel’s fear. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m afraid your aunt maybe in great danger I had hoped to avoid him at all costs but I’m going to need you to take me to your father.” Nathaniel declared. “If we don’t move quickly Rebekah’s life could be at risk.”

Rebekah and Bonnie were walking through the woods of Helton until they saw Nathaniel’s mysterious followers in hooded robes standing in the same circle as Rebekah had seen them before while a lifeless Augustus remained tied to the tree with his heart on the ground next to him.

“So, what exactly is the plan here?” Bonnie asked Rebekah as the two of them hid behind a tree to not be seen.

“I was thinking I fight off the undead while you place his heart back in his chest and then do some barrier spell of your own so he can’t escape.” Rebekah explained quietly. “Afterwards we hope Nathaniel’s ghost squad isn’t too pissed and conduct their own barrier spell as we leave with all the information we’ve been looking for.”

“That’s not a plan that’s a rash violent mission which is bound to get us both killed.” Bonnie warned her.

“Like we haven’t both done much worse before.” Rebekah replied with a smile before vamp speeding towards the worshiper's direction.

Rebekah only got halfway there before one of the robed worshipers raised their hand in her direction stopping her mid flight and forcing her to freeze on that spot unable to move as the worshiper's begin chanting loudly in the unrecognizable language which was becoming far too regular for Rebekah’s liking.

Bonnie moved from behind the tree chanting in Croatian while holding her hands out only to begin feeling immense pain as her veins turned black showing through her skin and her nose began to bleed furiously.

“If you’re going to do something now would be the time.” Bonnie shouted in between chants.

“I guess this means we go to Plan B.” Rebekah mumbled to herself as she fought past the worshiper's magic with the help of Bonnie’s spell and vamp sped over towards Augustus picking his heart up from the floor in the process and launching it into his chest.

“No!” The worshiper's screamed in unison before their bodies began catching on fire the flames burning them harshly and rapidly as the hoods fell revealing them as zombies with rotten skin and bones clearly once human but not recognizable to anyone anymore.

The worshiper's let out a series of screams as Bonnie fell to the ground causing Rebekah to fear for her frenemies’ life only to be further shocked to see the worshiper's explode in unison leaving nothing but body parts and rotted skin behind.

Rebekah vamp sped over to Bonnie kneeling over and picking her up in her arms before shaking the witch’s body hoping to wake her.

“Bonnie Bennett you don’t get to die not here!” Rebekah snapped before she noticed Bonnie beginning to open her eyes causing Rebekah to smile. “You’re quite the remarkable witch how did you manage to kill them all?”

“I didn’t do that.” Bonnie revealed making Rebekah look around the woods only to realize Augustus was no longer anywhere to be seen.

[meteorit3737]

5

They decided to celebrate Christmas foursome. This year no one wanted a noisy holiday, a note of sadness mixed in a cheerful mood. There were gifts under the tree (Donna secretly peeked in there and made sure that they were all packed beautifully), Christmas songs were heard in the speakers (Cam winced at a couple of songs, but was surprised to find that all the other songs were in full accord with her mood), on the table there was Donna’s special salad (Joanie admitted that although she likes to tease about this, she really likes it) and the favorite dishes of those present (Haley insisted that there was a cream pie, like the one she threw at her father in Comet).

They ate and chatted naturally, when they were all full, the girls more and more often glanced under the tree, and Donna could not stand it:

- And let's break the tradition this year and open gifts now, and not in the morning?

- Yes! Let's! - shouted Joanie and Haley and together rushed to the tree. Donna and Cam got up with smiles and joined them.

The girls have already managed to open one box.

- Built-in CD-ROM drive for computer! 8x speed! - Haley screamed enthusiastically. - But Cam, it have not yet appeared on sale! How?

- Howe is my last name. - Cam smiled, - It has already appeared in Japan.  

Joanie gently held her present in her arms:

- Mom, how did you realize that I was dreaming of such a camera?

- It was easy, - Donna shrugged. - You said so often, “If I could take a picture of it and show you” when you talked about your journey! And, of course, the fact that you drowned your old camera in the lake just before returning home ...

- It was an accident! I bent to look, and he slipped off his neck under the influence of gravity. By the way, there is something heavy for you.

Joanie handed Donna a box, on the side of which with Cam's uneven handwriting, it was written "for Donna",  and a little lower "carefully, don't drop." Donna looked at Cam, who was discussing with Hayley the question of connecting a CD-ROM to a computer, opened the box and found 10 mugs under layers of rustling paper. They were all different - on one was the Texas state seal, on the other a picture of the famous San Francisco bridge and the inscription "We just had a coffee machine broken," on the third there are two boxes with the words "IBM XT" and the text "Partners for crime”, on the fourth and fifth - pixel drawings of Donna and Cam from chat rooms of the time of Mutiny, both had these funny antennas, on the sixth it was written “Save my BIOS?”, and on the seventh there was an anchor (@theresebelivett, sorry, I couldn't resist). Donna's hands trembled, she almost dropped the mug and hurriedly pressed it to her.

- I just thought that since I am constantly taking all the mugs, I need to replenish your supplies, - came the soft voice of Cam. She awkwardly waved a cozy sweater that she held in her hands, dropped her T-shirt, began to pick it up and dropped the second one. Donna laughed and helped her collect the fallen.

- Thanks, - Cameron said. - And thanks for the gift. This is my favorite! - She unfolded one of the T-shirts and put it to herself so that the words “Ignore alien orders” could be seen. - Great minds think alike, eh?

Donna did not understand at first, then she took out the eighth mug - with a phoenix drawing, then the ninth “I have an idea”, and finally the tenth - “Ignore alien orders”. Donna thinks she never smiled so wide.

When all the other gifts were unpacked and thanks expressed, Joanie suggested watching a Christmas movie. But Haley looked imploringly at her mother:

- Mom, Cam, let's first connect the CD-ROM to my computer, please! I so want to experience it!

- Good, honey, I don’t think it will take much time. Have an instruction?

- There is. But only in Japanese, - Haley winked at Cameron.

- Product for the domestic market. But you're in luck, you have a translator, - Cam waved the instruction twisted into a tube. - Let's go to?

Haley picked up a box of CD-ROM and the three of them went into her room. Joanie sat on the couch and shouted after them: "And I'll start watching the movie! Join in!"

Working together, Cam and Donna quickly pulled out a 5" floppy disk drive from the system unit, plugged in a CD-ROM drive and joyfully looked at the happy Haley, who turned on the disc and enjoyed the music. She went up to them and hugged both at once, wrapping Donna in one hand, and another Cam.

- Hey, you know what? - Joanie appeared at the door. She froze for a second, assessing the situation, then quickly walked up and hugged everyone she could reach. - We look like bats.

- What? - Donna was surprised at the comparison.

- Yes, I once saw a colony of bats, they hang upside down, flap their wings, cling to each other and squeak.

- We don't hang upside down! - Haley said indignantly.

- And we don't squeak! - added Donna.

- And we don't cling, - Cam said.

All three pointedly looked at her, tightly wrapped in their hands.

- What? - raised her eyebrows Cam. - We just ... Well ... (Joanie and Haley giggled, Donna smiled) Well, watch out!

And Cam began to tickle everyone, which caused squeals and laughter in the room.

***

A week later, Joanie flew to Tokyo.

- I did not learn Japanese in vain! - She said after she showed Donna her travel plan across Japan.

- Yes, your knowledge of Japanese is comforting, at least you won’t die of hunger and you can always buy food.

- Cam says that this is a Tokyo dialect and is understood almost everywhere, but I may not understand some dialects, but if a problem arises, I can communicate in hieroglyphs.

- Then write on paper with the hieroglyphs "I need a phone to call my mother" and put it in your pocket. Please, Joanie, do not forget to call.

- Don’t worry, mom, I will. I promise that I will not be lost in Japan for 7 years. In fact, I want to return to Easter. So you have time to buy a tent and stuff.

- A tent? - surprised Donna. - Oh yes, I remembered. Okay!

- Good, - Joanie smiled.

When the three of them returned from the airport, everyone was a little sad. Cameron and Haley went into their rooms and sat at the computers. Donna walked around the house, turned on the dishwasher, which she forgot to turn on after dinner, and decided to sit at the computer too.

She waited for the system to load, decided to find out what the weather is like in Japan, and started connecting the modem. Suddenly, a pixel figure appeared in the lower left corner of the screen, walked to the center, stopped and waved to Donna. It was her own avatar from the Mutiny chats.

Little Donna went to the right corner of the screen, folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the right border of the screen. Donna began to work on the computer, constantly checking what her small copy was doing. But she didn’t sit still: she walked around the screen, sometimes ran with a butterfly net behind the mouse pointer, pulled a computer from the edge of the screen and worked behind it, smartly examined the text that Donna was typing, and when Donna checked the mail, painted Donna opened envelopes, read letters and threw part of it behind the screen, part of it in her pocket.

All this was very fun for Donna and the sad mood was forgotten. She did all the planned things, but she was sorry to turn off the computer. She gently ran the mouse pointer over the drawn hair, then again, and little Donna smiled and a red heart appeared over her head, which slowly turned pale to transparency.

- Cool, yeah?

Donna jumped up in surprise, she was so carried away that she did not notice how Hayley approached her.

- Very cool! I like it so! So you already know this little miss?

- Yes, Cam showed me her when she wrote, I even told her a couple of things that she could do.

- She's wonderful!

- Cam or little miss? - Haley smiled.

- Both! - Donna answered without hesitation. - I'm even sorry to turn off the computer. She will not be lost, right?

- No, she will be at autorun until you get her out of there.

- Never!

Donna sent the computer off and managed to see how her small copy took the pillow and went to bed. Joyful emotions filled Donna. She hugged Haley:

- Are you hungry? Maybe we order takeaway food?

- Yes, I really want pizza.

- Pizza? - asked Donna. - Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm sure. So will I order? You and Cam as usual?

- Of course. I'll go tell Cam how I liked her surprise.

Donna climbed the stairs and knocked on Cam's room. There was no answer, but she assumed that Cameron was just listening to music on the headphones. She knocked and opened the door. She was right - Cam was sitting at the computer in the headphones and quickly tapping the keyboard. She was wearing a shirt “Ignore alien orders” and for a few seconds Donna seemed to be back in time - basement of Cardiff electric, Mutiny, moving to California, Cam lives with them ... At that moment, Cam seemed to feel Donna's gaze and looked up. Donna had a thought in her head that she never managed to discreetly watch working Cam for more than a few seconds, she always found out about her presence and raised her head, or Donna herself simply did not wait for these seconds and involved Cam in solving urgent problems that Mutiny had enough.

Cam stopped typing and took off her headphones. Donna stands in the doorway of room and shines with such a joyful smile, as if she had heard the best news in the world. Or maybe she discovered ...

- Cameron Howe, you are a genius! - exclaimed Donna, interrupting Cam's thoughts.

- May I have a certificate about this? - asked Cam with a smile.

Donna entered the room and went to Cam.

- Do you have a minute?

- Of course! - Cam removed the headphones from her neck and laid them on the table. Donna leaned back against the table and leaned her hands slightly on it. She tilted her head slightly to one side and looked at Cam with strange intensity.

- Sometimes I think what is going on in your head? Where do you get your ideas? And how do you find the time to implement them?

- You want to say that you liked the electronic version of you? - Cam asked hopefully.

- Of course I liked her! I am absolutely delighted! She was painted, but at the same time so lively, sometimes it seemed to me that she was about to speak.

Cameron saw Donna's enthusiasm and it warmed her heart.

- Well, I had such a thought, but for the talking version your computer needs to be upgraded.

- When did you manage to write it? You were constantly busy with a working project, I saw how much you are doing.

- In fact, it did not take much time. I invented everything while I was engaged in some domestic things. So then it remained just to sit down and write down the code. It is in some way a descendant of my operating system.

- Your OS was ahead of time. I did not believe in the success of the Giant until I launched a prototype in the garage and talked to your OS. It said I had good manners, - Donna smiled tenderly.

- You decided to go to Komdex after talking to a computer? Cam shook her head in disbelief. - You know, if you had not come with us, the Giant wouldn’t even have started.

- And if I did not communicate with this villain Hunt, the Giant would be the star of the exhibition, - Donna lowered her eyes sadly.

- Hey, don't blame yourself! If Joe hadn’t taken off my OS ... Although, in some ways, he was right, if one reasoned rationally.

- Sometimes we are too rational, - Donna said decisively. - And speaking emotionally, I’m ready to upgrade my computer even tomorrow to see what you came up with for ... By the way, what is her name? My electronic version?

- When I wrote the code, I thought of her as a mini-Donna, - Cam confusedly confessed. - And I do not think that she will speak out loud, rather, it will be a text.

- Can I write something for her? - Donna asked.

- Yes, I want to make a small window for entering text, which appears when you poke the mouse into the miniDonna.

- You know, she often did actions corresponding to what I did, for example, email.

- The program responds to system calls. So far, only a few, but I still have thoughts on this.

- God, Cam, I’ll just watch her for half the time, and if she starts to talk too ... - Donna waved her hands and laughed. - But you have to write a lot of phrases!

- Therefore, miniDonna will first be a boring interlocutor. But if you regularly update the database of phrases ... Can you imagine if she knew how to learn and remember everything that you write?

- And if she was not alone, but on each computer there were such characters? - continued the thought of Donna.

- With a common database! - finished Cam.

They looked at each other, excited about what they had just come up with.

- Do you think it would be artificial intelligence? - asked Donna.

- Are you afraid that Skynet will capture us? - smirked at Cam.

- Well, if this happens, then messengers from the future will surely come to us to prevent the creation of artificial intelligence, and now I absolutely do not want to deal with them.

- Donna! Are you going to argue with messengers from the future? - Cam was indignant.

They both laughed merrily. At that moment, Cameron's stomach decided to enter into conversation and growled loudly. Cam shrugged shyly.

-I think I'm hungry.

- Let's go down, Haley ordered pizza, she will be brought soon.

- Good idea! - Cam enthusiastically jumped up from her chair. - The last one makes coffee!

And rushed down. Donna did not hesitate for a second and ran after her. They rushed shoulder to shoulder along the stairs, ran to the kitchen, collided with each other at the door and laughed. Haley looked at them from the living room and twisted her finger at the temple.

- Cam, you're crazy! - Donna fell on a chair, continuing to laugh. God, how good it is to laugh! She laughed more in a few months than in the last few years.

- You too! - Cam poured water into a mug and took a couple of sips. Then she took another mug, filled it with water and handed it to Donna. Donna gratefully accepted it and drank it with pleasure.

- So we make coffee together? - asked Donna.

- It's strange that you asked ... - Cam said mysteriously and turned her mug, showing the words “Partners for crime”. - What about you?

Donna looked at her mug and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. Anchor. She showed it to Cam and nodded: - I will clean the filter, and you pour water.

When the coffee was ready, the pizza delivery man arrived.

[lukalovesyou]

Reddie Playlist

Hey! Ok so I’ve been working on this Reddie playlist for a while now and I’ve finally decided to put it out! It’s available on Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube. This 45 song playlist is takes you from before It ch 1 until after It ch 2 and it’s pretty much just Richie’s perspective with Eddie’s sprinkled in. It works best if you listen to it full way through without shuffling it, it’s supposed to tell a story! I’m gonna leave a guideline to everything under the links to the playlists so you can follow along if you want! I really hope you guys enjoy, please leave me feedback because I’d love that! Special thanks to my girlfriend @jivs-jam for helping me find songs and for owning the Apple Music Playlist. Another thanks to my sister for listening to it through with me before I put it out and to you for listening!

Here it is!!

~Storyline~

Key:

•Richies POV

•Eddies POV

•Both POV

•important song

•song quote

By your side by Mellah

This song is meant to establish their friendship as it’s the beginning of the playlist. Richie and Eddie are best friends, obviously, and they always have each other’s back.

“You need not ask me for more ‘cause friend I’d give you it all, to have and to hold, when you’re down, when you fall”

La Lune by Madeon ft. Dan Smith

Richie is beginning to feel differently about Eddie as he’s getting older even thought nothings really changed between them. He can’t pinpoint what’s wrong but he’s worried about the change.

“Does it matter if we change? Does it matter at all? Don’t you worry about me, Friend, don’t you worry at all”

could this be love? By saturn 17

Richie realizes that his feelings towards Eddie are no longer simply friendly and have crossed over into crush territory. He notices everything Eddie does and he absolutely admires him. By the end he’s trying to push it down and convince himself his feelings aren’t real.

“I’ve never felt like this before. Oh, I’ve never had this feeling till I saw her. She’s making me feel like this could be love, but who knows, could it be love?”

Walking All Day by Graham Coxon

Pretty much just Riche doing anything to make Eddie smile or laugh. He just wants to be near him 🥺

“Walkin’ all day with my mouth on fire trying to get talkin’ to you”

Wonderwall by Oasis

Richie wants to tell Eddie everything he feels but he can’t.

“Because maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me cause after all, you’re my wonderwall”

Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko

Richie wants him and Eddie to be more than friends but he knows he can’t tell Eddie that. Like in La Lune, they are doing things they would usually do, like have sleepovers and such, but it all feels different now.

“Even when you’re next to me it’s not the way I’m picturing, no.”

Why Not Me by Alexander Rybak

Richie is happy that they’re friends but he wants more. He’s distraught that he isn’t what Eddie might want.

“You wonder who your date will be. I wonder, Katherine, why not me?”

Daisy by Zedd

Eddie is beginning to catch feelings for Richie as well. He acknowledges how troubled Richie seems and wishes he could tell him just how much he means to him.

“Let me show you how a kiss should taste. Trust me, I won’t give your heart away. Why you running, running, when I’ve got it right here? Oh, I would love you if you let me.”

Space Age Love Song by A Flock Of Seagulls

Just imagine Richie and Eddie doin cute shit like going to a museum or whateva and falling for each other even more without the other one knowing 😌

“I saw your eyes and you touched my mind, although it took a while, I was falling in love.”

Your Love Song, Pt. 2 by HUNNY

I usually just imagine Richie singing to this song in his room thinking about Eddie but for the purpose of this playlist, Richie is finding it harder to mask his feeling. Eddie seems to be vibing, though, so Richie begins to think he might just have a shot.

“Baby, I want to be part of your love song. Maybe I already am.”

Boyfriend by Big Time Rush

This is self explanatory (and self indulgent.) Richie isn’t saying this to Eddie bUt he’s hyping himself up so he can finally ask Eddie out.

“Don’t be scared to come, put your trust in me. Can’t you see? All I really wanna be is your boyfriend.”

Jenny by Studio Killers

This is the get together song!! Richie finally tells Eddie how he feels and Eddies gay ass obviously recuperates his feelings. I personally imagine them in their Freshman year of high school when this takes place, just to put things into perspective.

“I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead. I don’t know how to say this cause you’re really my dearest friend.”

I Wanna Waste My Time on You by The Crookes

This is the beginning of the “Honeymoon” phase of their relationship, a theme that prevails for the next few songs (until Yellow Cloud). They spend every second with each other, more than normal. It’s just a feel good new love type song. The idea of escapism is started here and prevails until the end of their teenage years.

“I wanna waste my time on you, waste my time on you. Spinning round the skyline, when everything was new.”

Lay By Me by firekid

Another song in the “Honeymoon” phase. Very wholesome and cute, just two idiots in love.

“I’ll show you the world tonight as long as you say you’re mine.”

Talk Too Much by COIN

Richie’s a Trashmouth. That’s it. You can imagine they’re on a date, idk I just had to do it to em.

“You know I talk too much. Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up.”

Yellow Cloud by Trixie Mattel

As they become more serious and as they get deeper into their teenage years, Eddie dreams of getting out of Derry with Richie in tow. The “Honeymoon” phase of being overly clingy may be over, but they love each other just as much as before.

“When we’re older, we stay the same. Couple of losers who won the game.”

Everlong by Foo Fighters

Richie wants nothing to ever change between them, but he’s afraid that he might do something wrong, his inner insecurities attacking him. He just wants everything to work out, and Eddie assures him it will.

“And I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again.”

Wouldn’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys

Richie and Eddie talk about the future outside of Derry.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long. And wouldn’t it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?”

Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

I imagine this song as their first Homecoming dance together, probably around their Sophmore year of high school. Richie is hyping up his boyfriends obviously. You can take this song with its intended meaning but they babies so 🥺 imma pretend I didn’t hear that.

“Come on Eileen. Oh I swear, at this moment you mean everything.”

Two Men in Love by The Irrepressibles

They feel so deeply in love as the relationship slowly builds and they plan on running away with each other after they graduate. I also imaging them coming out to the losers about their relationship in this song.

“There’s a strange love inside, it’s getting louder, and louder, and louder, and louder, and louder. There’s a danger I can’t hide. Who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am. I’m in love.”

Roman Holiday by Halsey

Richie gets his licence during his Junior year and they escape Derry for the weekend. This also symbolizes Eddie’s wish to run away with Richie and how that want keeps getting stronger.

“Feet first, don’t fall, or we’ll be running again.”

Eddie Baby by Felix Hagan & the Family

This boy is in love. That’s it. Oh and it’s like near the end of Junior year.

“Oh Eddie, baby, Won’t you come to my arms tonight? I beg and plead you please succumb to my charms tonight.”

18 by One Direction

It’s their Senior year and Eddie gets accepted into a good school out of state. Eddie promises to visit/write/call Richie until Richie has enough money to leave Derry and join Eddie. They both reflect on their relationship over past few years.

“All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you. I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18.”

Eddie My Love by The Chordettes

Richie writes Eddie a letter after he leaves for college. Eddie obviously doesn’t get it, and if he did he still wouldn’t have known who Richie was.

“Eddie, please write me one line. Please tell me your love is still only mine. Please, Eddie, since you’ve been gone.”

Malibu 1992 by COIN

Richie and Eddie “break up”, aka Richie never hears from Eddie again and he accepts that he’s probably never gonna hear from him again. Richie convinces himself that Eddie has grown tired of him. He revisits the Kissing Bridge and mourns the loss of his relationship. He tries to convince himself that he’s over Eddie but he knows he can’t be.

“Oh, I did it again, I did it again. Oh I did it again, I must still want you. Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what’s left of our handprints, now.”

Slow Dances by Winnetka Bowling Leauge

Richie is leaving Derry to pursue standup in California. As he drives away from his hometown he thinks of Eddie one last time. Then he forgets.

“That’s how I knew you, talking with your fast hands, saving all your slow dances. I wish I was there with you.”

La Belle Femme by HUNNY

Twenty One years have gone by since Richie left Derry and Twenty Seven years have gone by since Pennywise terrorized the Losers Club. Richie gets his call from Mike and remembers all the losers- especially Eddie. He remembers his crush but not their relationship. While he doesn’t think he still likes him, he mourns the “lost opportunities” from decades ago.

“What I would do if I was with you in the other room. Dreaming of you, is all I can do, from the other room.”

Sober Up by AJR

Once he sees Eddie again, he’s like “shit I’m still gay” and drinks a shit ton of alcohol, so basically just what happens in the movie. He also reflects on all he remembers now, not just stuff about Eddie but the losers in general.

“Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up, it made me numb, and I wanna feel something again.”

Happily by One Direction

Best way to summarize this is “Wait Eddie you got married? You mean to like a woman?”. Richie is pretty much just jealous of Myra and he wishes he could have Eddie to himself.

“I know you wanna leave, so c’mon baby, be with me so happily.”

Self Control by DallasK

As they return to the townhouse, Richie knows in his mind that both he and Eddie need to leave before Richie does something he’ll regret, especially because Eddie is married. He never verbalizes it.

“I wanna hold you close but I keep telling myself that you should run away cause you got somebody else.”

Parking Lot by HUNNY

Richie’s upset over missed opportunities. He wants nothing more than to be with Eddie but he know he can’t. Unbeknownst to him, he’s wasting his time with Eddie by worrying over lost time.

“I should’ve kissed that girl in the parking lot, I never told her what I wanted to say. I could’ve cracked my head in the parking lot, you never know.”

Raspberry by Grouplove

Eddie has feelings for Richie and gets flustered over him as if he were a teenager again. He tries to explain it away and rationalize it in his mind.

“Cause I was walking in a dream, what you mean? How you been? I never knew I’d get so red.”

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

They are about to go against Pennywise for the second and final time. They both mentally promise themselves that when/if they get out of there alive they’re gonna confess their feelings to each other. They can’t waste anymore time withholding how they feel.

“And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever, ans if you only hold me tight, we’ll be holding on forever.”

Fight for Me by Barrett Wilbert Weed (Heathers)

Eddie believes he killed Pennywise and Richie has never felt more in love in his life. He wants Eddie, nothing more and nothing less. He wants to make him and Eddie work. Then like Pennywise is homophobic or whateva.

“And hey, could you face the crowd? Could you be seen with me and still act proud? Hey, could you hold my hand and could you carry me through no mans land?”

Breezeblocks by alt-J

Richie confesses his feelings for Eddie to Eddie before he dies.

“Please don’t go, Please don’t go. I love you so, I love you so.”

Arms Tonite by Mother Mother

Eddie wants to tell Richie that he feels the same and he knows he doesn’t have a lot of time left.

“I cried in the afterlife. I cry hard because I have died and you’re alive”

Smarter Ways Of Saying It by HUNNY

This is the death song. I don’t know what else to say besides I’m sad.

“I ask you to hold my hand as we fall asleep and I forget your face.”

(I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew

Eddie is dead and he regrets so much in the afterlife :(( my heart </3

“Oh, i just died in your arms tonight, it must’ve been something you said.”

Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

Richie is in denial about Eddies death and he has to be dragged out of Neibolt. So just think of the “we gotta get him outta here” scene.

“Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine and we'll walk from this dark room for the last time. Every minute from this minute now we can do what we like anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes cause I need you to look into mine.”

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Richie regrets not making good use of time and he blames himself for Eddie’s death as the losers comfort him in the quarry.

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.”

Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy

Richie re-carves R+E into the Kissing Bridge and remembers everything. All his childhood/teenage memories, all the good and bad times, but most importantly he remembers his relationship with Eddie. He leaves Derry, still remembering everything even after he arrives back in California. He wishes Eddie could have gone home with him.

“I’ve got those Jet Pack Blues. Fight off the light tonight and just stay with me. Honey, don’t you leave.”

In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles

Richie wishes he can tell Eddie just how much he means to him. All he has to comfort him once he gets back home is some of Eddies belonging that he took with him, including a few of his hoodies.

“In this shirt I can be you, to be near you, for a while.”

Take On Me (MTV Unplugged) by a-ha

Richie is beginning to go through all the stages of grief and is slowly coming to terms with Eddies death.

“I’m odds and ends but I’ll be stumbling away slowly learning that life is ok.”

Letter by Mother Mother

Richie uses writing as a way to cope, whether it’s writing his own comedy routines (finally) or writing Eddie letters that he knows will never get to him no matter how hard he tries.

“I miss my lover, yeah I write letter everyday. The only thing is that my lover don’t ever write me.”

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

Richie has finally come to terms with Eddies passing and has begun to live his life like he normally would, the only difference being the support he now has from his friends. He still thinks about Eddie daily, however, and still loves him all the same. He could never forget him.

“But I swear I won't forget you. Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear, ‘Oh darling, I wish you were here’”

Thank you if you’ve made it this far!! I really hope you enjoyed!! I have an Alternate version of this playlist I’m gonna finalize and put out soon. Anyways have an amazing day/night! Again, I hope you enjoyed!