#cause that was really cutting it close for a while there 😬

[voiceshearingyouloud]

I was feeling extremely suicidal today, like the worst I have in maybe four or five years now, and I was deliberating over whether I should go to the hospital like pretty much all day and now that I feel better I realise that the moment I started drafting my suicide note in my head was probably when I should’ve decided that 😭

[d3adp00ls]

I’m still waiting for that angst fic pookie 😍🫶

Clingy

Vanessa (fnaf movie) x reader

Summary: Vanessa has been a lot more distant a lot but you didn’t think she would miss a important night like this. (I KNOW MY SUMMARY IS BEAUTIFUL)

Contents: Angst, Yelling, Tears, stressed Vanessa, Established relationship, hurt no comfort (yet), Vanessa gets slapped 😬, somebody needs driving lessons lol.

Word count: I'm pretty sure my dog knows.

Side note: 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

Pt.2 Pt.3

✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮

You were sitting on the couch in your shared home with Vanessa, watching a TV program that featured extravagant rings that cost more than your entire life. Recently, Vanessa had been coming home later than usual, and every time you tried to bring it up, she would dismiss your concerns or accuse you of being too clingy. You tried to brush off her words and the hurt they caused, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore your feelings. Eventually, you gave up and started going to bed before she came home. However, tonight was supposed to be different. You had pleaded with her to come home early and she had promised she would. Filled with hope, you had prepared a romantic candle-lit dinner and even bought her a gift. But as the minutes turned into hours, the food grew cold and the gift remained untouched on the table. You sat on the couch with a half-finished glass of wine, tears welling up in your eyes.

She was supposed to have arrived hours ago, and you had debated whether or not to just go to sleep. But as you were about to doze off, you heard the familiar sound of keys jingling and the front door opening. Vanessa, your late girlfriend, seemed oblivious to your presence as she quietly closed the door and went straight to the kitchen without acknowledging the food you had prepared for her.

With a clenched jaw, you stood up and cleared your throat, causing Vanessa to finally notice you. "Y/n? What are you doing up?" she asked with a confused and slightly worried expression.

You wanted to scoff at her question. How dare she ask that when she had promised to be here? "Oh, you know," you shrugged, taking a few steps towards her, "Just waiting for my girlfriend who was supposed to be here almost four hours ago." Your voice rose with pent-up anger towards the end, and you could see Vanessa flinch slightly at the sound of it.

"Y/n…I lost track of time, I'm sorry, really I am, I-" She started to apologize, but you cut her off, not in the mood for her excuses.

"Do you know what today is?" you asked, your voice heavy with disappointment. Vanessa looked even more puzzled, and you let out a sigh as you walked over to the table and picked up the small gift box you had prepared for her. You fiddled with it between your fingers, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"June 7th," you said, looking back at Vanessa, hoping she would finally understand. But she still looked confused, and you felt your heart sink. "The day we started dating, two years ago. Does it not ring a bell, Vanessa? Or were you too busy thinking about work or some other woman while you were out all night?" you couldn't hold back your anger any longer, and you let out a loud yell, tears now streaming down your face.

"Oh…" Vanessa mumbled, finally realizing her mistake. You nodded, wiping the tears from your cheeks, but they kept coming.

"Yeah…" you said, your disappointment evident in your voice.

"Baby, I know I've been really busy and lost track of time, but please try to understand-" You cut her off abruptly, rolling your eyes and turning away.

"Here we go again…" you mutter under your breath, feeling her glare burning into the back of your head as you make your way to the bedroom. You toss the gift box in the trash on your way, feeling frustrated and angry.

"What do you mean?" she asks, following you into the room. You let out a sigh and close the door behind you, but she stops it with her foot and pushes it open, grabbing your arm and spinning you to face her.

"Don't you dare walk away when I'm talking to you," she says coldly, but you scoff and pull your arm away.

"No, you don't get to act like you haven't been doing the same thing for the past week. You always do this, yet whenever I try and speak up about it, I'm the bad guy? That's complete bullshit!" you yell, jabbing your finger into her chest.

"And don't even try to pretend that you've only missed spending time with me once. You do it every single day," you continue, your voice cracking as tears start to well up in your eyes.

"Every time you tell me you'll be here, you never are. And when I try to talk to you about it, you just shut me down and tell me the same bullshit excuse or you just flat out tell me to get over it. But it's getting harder and harder to ignore, Nessa. And this morning, I had to beg you to stay. You said you would, and I believed you. But then you showed up later than ever and didn't even respond to my messages. You didn't even remember what today was. At this point, I’m convinced I’m just some inconvenience to you." Your voice breaks as you continue to pour out your feelings, wiping away the tears that are now falling freely down your face.

She looks at you in surprise, wanting to reach out and comfort you, but you take a step back and wipe away your own tears before taking a deep breath and looking away from her.

"I'm tired of feeling like I'm not important to you, Nessa. I just want to spend time with you and feel like I matter to you. Is that too much to ask?" you say, your voice barely above a whisper now.

Vanessa let out a heavy sigh before shaking her head in frustration.

"Y/n, I love you, but I have responsibilities and obligations that I can't always put on hold for you," she said with a huff.

You looked at her with hurt and confusion in your eyes, crossing your arms and turning away. "Am I not important to you anymore?" you mumbled, your voice trembling.

Vanessa's sigh pained your heart as you heard it. "Of course you are, but you just don't understand," she started, but you interrupted her with a pleading look.

"Then help me understand," you begged, taking her hands and pulling her closer to you. You pressed your forehead against hers, desperate for her to see how much this was affecting you. "Please… I want to understand," you whispered, gazing into her eyes.

She looked away, her jaw clenching as she pulled her hands away from yours. Your heart sank as she avoided your gaze, and you clenched your fists in frustration.

"Okay," you said quietly, finally accepting that she wasn't going to explain. You pushed past her and left the room, heading to the living room.

You didn't hear her follow you as you grabbed your coat and began putting on your shoes. As you searched for your keys, you heard Vanessa enter the room and stand in the middle of it, watching you. But you didn't acknowledge her as you grabbed your wallet from the table behind her.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her tone a little more stern.

You ignored her and continued searching for your keys, finally finding them between the couch cushions. You stood up and began walking towards the door, but she grabbed your arm and turned you around forcefully.

"I asked you a question," she glared at you.

You glared back and snatched your arm away, walking past her towards the door. But she followed you, grabbing your arm more harshly this time and turning you around.

"No, you don't get to leave-" she started, but before she could finish her sentence, you had already raised your hand and slapped her across the cheek.

You were shocked at your own actions and immediately regretted it as you saw the red handprint on her cheek. You both stood there in silence and shock before you finally mumbled a quick apology and left.

She eventually made her way back to the bedroom, her heart breaking as she heard your car speed away. If she had stayed just five seconds longer, she would have heard the sound of another car zooming by and a loud crash. If she hadn't fallen asleep just ten minutes later, she would have heard her phone ringing.

But she would see all of that in the morning.

✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮✰✮

BRO I HAVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING THIS FIC FOR A WEEK I LITERALLY HAD IT FINISHED JUST NOT EDITED and then i was supposed to post it earlier but im on the phone with some friends BUT FINALLY I POSTED IT also ill post part two sometime this week hopefully ANYWAYS TOODLES🤪✌🏾

[star2fishmeg]

Hey, me again. 😅😬

A small modification on my request; a fujio and suzaki x reader (platonic). Still some fluff/goofy stuff though.

Peace out ✌🏽

Thank you for requesting <3 Hi Nero!! I saw your last req and that's fine! I'm only taking limited characters so I went with Fujio and a fluff prompt, I hope this is okay!

FLUFF #11 "You look like shit."

📞 dialling…

Was she surprised? No. Was it the first time this had happened? No. The part that irritated her was the time of day. Fujio could never pick a sensible time to do anything, it always had to be while she was in the middle of something or at some silly hour in the morning when people typically chose to sleep. When she and Fujio became a couple, she hadn’t assumed this would have been one element of it, most friends give a warning when they were going to drop by but never him.

Y/n exhaled heavily through her nose, hand clutching her front door, vision barely clear from just being woken up by frantic banging. Fujio stood before her, hair over his eyes, blood streaming from cuts and bruises on his face, clothes dusty and scruffy. Not the first time, she lost count of how many times he’d pulled this. But it still squeezed her heart when he did show up beaten and bruised purple, yet she couldn’t imagine him living any other lifestyle. 

She gripped the bottom of his shirt, pulling him into her hallway and closing the door. Her glare burned through him, but he knew she wasn’t mad, not really. She dragged him through the darkness and into her bathroom, pushing him down onto the toilet and laid out the first aid box on the floor, ignoring the cracking in her knees as she crouched.

“You look like shit.” He chuckled at her bedhead, holding out his hands as if on cue when she poured the rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball, dabbing over his knuckles, feeling a sense of revenge when he hissed through his teeth at the sting. 

“You’re not looking so hot yourself.” Was all she mumbled, hoarsely, changing out the cotton wool for a clean ball and moving to his face. She cupped his cheek lightly, fingers ticking over his skin, avoiding his puppy-like gaze that begged for forgiveness. The cotton dabbed his cheek, soaking up the blood and dirt that oozed from the cut that sat raw and mean, he knew he deserved to feel the sting and he could tell that she was too tired to care. 

“M’sorry, y/n,” he whispered, finally managing to meet her sunken eyes, “for waking you up. For making you clean me up.”

She sighed, throwing the cotton away, screwing the alcohol cap on and packing the first aid kit away, turning back to him, hands reuniting with his jaw to hold his gaze onto hers, “I’ll always clean you up, stupid. It’s just three in the morning so have a shower and I'll find a futon.” 

His heart jumped for joy, the sinking in his stomach dissolving and lips twitching into a smile, ignoring the aching it caused. Perhaps it was time to ask her for a key, so he didn’t piss her off after a friendly brawl over in Oya.

[presidenthades]

All those ideas are so good! but my favorite is the cursed Targbros with an immortal life remembering what they could have been and what really was. Especially Aegon, he would probably blame himself for listening to Otto/Alicent and taking the crown and screwing up his life and his brothers'. He really believed for a moment that he was doing this to protect Jace but in the end his war killed her (aaand basically the entire family 😬) and now he can't even follow her into death. You don't have to write it down but can we talk more about that? 🥲 tell us your vision of this universe

I love talking about these things and I’m probably going to talk a little TOO much here but that’s ok 🥲

For what it’s worth, I would like to write this one day, but it would probably be a longfic and I want to focus on completing The Main Timeline before I start working on spinoffs. Modern AU is an exception because it’s a lot more lighthearted, and I can put that out one at a time as shorter fics when I need a break from heavier stuff.

^most iconic shot IMO from the Goblin Kdrama that inspired this idea. I’ll continue my rambling under the cut so I don’t spoil the show for anyone who was thinking of watching it.

Like the show, the fic would be dual timeline with cuts between the medieval Dance era and the modern era. In the modern day, the three Targbros are wandering around in their sad immortal forms. (Helaena’s role TBD, but I like the idea of her being an equivalent of the all-knowing granny in the kdrama.) Some of their memories have been locked away, but they remember enough to know they’re brothers, and their immortality has been given as a punishment. The three of them all have to do stuff that they hate. Aegon, like the kdrama grim reaper, is stuck in the bureaucracy of the afterlife sorting death paperwork. Aemond, like the goblin, has to help people *shudder*. Haven’t figured out Daeron’s job, but it probably involves being mean/violent.

Velaryon girls have been reborn into the modern world without any memories of their past lives. When they all meet, that triggers some of the Targbros’ memories to come back, and the bros freak out as they start to remember all the war crimes, treachery, etc.

Aegon’s past is very similar to the kdrama grim reaper’s backstory. He was a king who listened to bad counsel, which led to him giving the order to execute his beloved wife. Afterwards he felt so guilty that he drank himself to death/was poisoned.

Aemond, like the kdrama’s goblin, killed A LOT of people during his human life. He also caused Luce’s death in this universe’s history, which set off the Dance. He felt guilty but also doubled down on his actions (which I suspect is what Aemond will do in S2?), which led him on a downward spiral of mass violence.

Daeron (who doesn’t have an equivalent in the kdrama) came very close to finding a way to end the Dance without further violence. Joff sneaked over to meet him while he was traveling with the Hightower army to negotiate peace terms. But there was some miscommunication/betrayal (maybe caused by Hugh and Ulf), maybe some accusations of dark sorcery, which led to the army leaders having Joff burned at the stake.

Fast forward to modern day, where the girls (who are reborn as sisters because I don’t wanna keep them apart) are dealing with normal life issues like trying to pay bills, dead-end jobs, etc. Suddenly these three randos show up, acting overly familiar and having very extreme mood swings (because they’re dealing with resourcing memories). And the girls are just like… “They’re hot but they seem kinda crazy, idk. 🤨”

I haven’t really thought of the rest, sorry 😅.

[murdock-and-the-sea]

cingulomania · michael kinsella x reader

cingulomania (n.)

a strong desire to hold a person in one's arms

pairing: michael kinsella x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI. little angst, hurt-comfort, mentions of verbal abuse (sort of), protective!Mikey

a/n: (repost cause I accidentally deleted this off my blog 😬)

SUPER SAIYAN SELF-INDULGENCE GOOO! ( •̀ ω •́ )y Have this small rusty thing before I get swallowed by my 2nd semester at uni

Divider by @firefly-graphics.

Sitting on the steps in front of Michael’s house, the door pressed cold against your back, causing you to shiver. His laughter drifted over to you over the fence as you did your best to fight the lump building back in your throat.

Normally, you’d be happy that he spent the evening over at Jimmy’s - at least he wasn’t cooped up alone. He was in company, surrounded by his family —

Family.

The very word made you choke right now.

The laughter quieted, and after some hushed goodbyes, you heard his footsteps approaching, the gentle rhythm stopping abruptly as he spotted you on his stairs.

“Shit, ’s that you, pet? What happened?”

You wanted to answer but fighting your tears took too much out of you. Hours ago, when you had nowhere else to go, it seemed like a good idea to run crying to Mikey. But when you found out he’s not home, it woke a new, bitter anger in you. So you sat down here, sulking and bathing in self-pity. Probably catching a cold, too.

You turned away from him in shame, remaining silent. The sun was dipping below the rooftops, giving you hope that the growing dusk would hide enough.

Briskly, Michael walked up to you, voice laced with worry as he called out your name once more. Gently, he put a hand under your chin, turning you towards him and you could hear his breath hitch when he saw your tear-stained face and red eyes.

His whole body tensed, eyes darkening dangerously as he drew a deep breath.

“Who did this to you?”

Lips quivering, all you could do was let the tears fall as you closed your eyes. You didn’t need to say anything; he knew the answer already. Cursing, Michael reached over your head, hands trembling with anger as he tried to fit the key into the lock.

You were a useless mess, sniffling and wiping your face with the sleeve of your sweater, trying to make yourself as small as possible. You wanted to apologize. You wanted to explain that it wasn’t that bad, and really, you shouldn’t have come. It’s alright. It happened before.

You’ll live, right?

But then why did you feel so stupid and pathetic. Why couldn’t you say something, anything.

The door creaked open, Michael pushing past you to get inside while you just choked quietly on a sob. There was the familiar click of the light switch, and a curse or two more from Mikey as he hauled you up in his arms.

And all you could say was sorry.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry; you kept repeating as your face pressed to the crook of his neck, drowning in your tears and his scent. The softness of his sweater and his embrace felt like his love was cutting you open, your very being exposed: raw and vulnerable and inflamed and his hand caressing down your back, running along the seams of your soul where the stitches came undone.

And his lips pressed against your forehead, burning your skin, setting you alight.

You weren’t sure how long you two stayed like this. By the time you calmed down, the room was swallowed in darkness, Mikey sitting on the couch and you on his lap, huddling closer for warmth. You broke the silence with a small cough, only now registering the itchy soreness in your throat.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Michael asked softly.

You shrugged, pressing your face against his chest.

“The usual.” you mumbled quietly. “It just… just got out of hand a bit.”

He took a deep breath, pulling you closer. “’m sorry.”

This wasn’t the first time you came to him for comfort and by now, he was more than familiar with the arguments you had with your family. It made his blood boil just to listen to you talk about the constant, petty quarrels you got caught up in with them, the way they treated you like absolute shit.

Countless times, he offered to talk - or preferably, beat - some sense into them, but you always declined. Sweet you, always hoping, always reassuring him it’ll be fine.

“It’s not your fault.” You continued. “It started small, y’know? I don’t even remember what it was now. Isn’t that crazy?” You let out a weak, unimpressed laugh. “But then something got in me… I-I snapped back at them and we all started yelling, and screaming and it was bad. Like, bad. Just grabbed my phone and…”

Your voice cracked, and it broke his heart to see you so vulnerable and hurt, even if it was such a frequent part of your life. That in a grotesque way, you made it sound natural. But the bastards you called your family could put even a Kinsella to shame.

Mikey rubbed your back, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “Don’t apologize, love. You did good, coming here.” 

He was more than ready to help and hell, there wasn’t a thing that he would not do to protect you. Even so, there was one thing that he couldn’t wrap his head around tonight.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

You groaned, pressing against him impossibly tighter. “I dunno. I felt guilty.”

“Guilty?” he asked, taken aback.

“Yeah. Like I expected you to just be here, waiting to fix this for me. But then you weren’t here, and I realized I can’t keep doing this to you. You deserve better.”

“Oh, love.” He said, pulling back from you only to slide a hand to your face, palms warm against your tear-stained face and you couldn’t help but sigh as you leaned into his touch. “There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for ya’, you hear me? I’ll always be here for you.”

“Michael…” Despite your best efforts, a few more tears rolled down your face, but he was quick to wipe them away.

“Shhh. ‘S okay. You just say the word, and I’ll deal with ‘em.” he said, gaze dark and intense. “Just one word ‘s all you need.”

There was a sincerity in his eyes that should have scared you, but it made you feel safe instead, guarded from any harm. Still, you couldn’t help the breathy laugh at what he was suggesting. “Thank you, but I think I’ll keep them around for a bit more. In spite of everything.”

You put your hand over his, sighing in content, finally truly calm.

“Can I spend the night?” you asked, voice still a little shy.

Michael snorted. “Bold of ‘ya to assume I’d let you go back to them.” He wrapped his arms tighter around you as if driving his point home.

After a bit of comfortable silence, he shifted a bit and took a deep breath before speaking. “Listen pet, I’ve been thinking.”

Oh damn. Your anxiety wasted no time to flare up again, mind going haywire over what he would want to say. Did he suddenly change his mind?

“So I’ve been wonderin’ for a while and, uhh…” He cleared his throat, fidgeting a bit more before blurting it out. “I think you should move in with me.”

Oh.

Oh.

You felt speechless, your heart leaping to your throat. It’s not that you didn’t want it - in fact, it was something you’d be more than happy to do. But still, there were a few things holding you back. The longer you stayed silent, the more worried Michael looked.

“What’s wrong? That not somethin’ you were thinking of?”

“No, it’s… it’s not that. I’d love to, Michael.”

He sighed, a little upset. “But?”

“I just don’t want you to run into this because you feel like you have to. I appreciate it, I really do, but I dealt with my family this long… I can take it a little longer.”

Michael huffed, averting his eyes. “I can’t though.”

“What?”

“I can’t.” He repeated, a bit more sternly. “I can’t keep sitting here, doin’ nothing when I know how they treat you, how they abuse you every day.”

You felt new tears welling up in your eyes, feeling more loved than ever before. “Michael…”

“Listen, let’s just try it, ok? And if it’s not working out or…” he paused, his voice a little weaker. “...if it’s not what you imagined, then we’ll help you find a place, yeah?”

You pondered it over again, lips pressed into a thin line but deep down, you already decided.

“Okay. Yeah, okay, let’s try.”

The way his face lit up warmed your heart, and he pulled you back into his embrace again. “You won’t regret it, pet. Trust me. I’ll keep you safe here.”

Damn him, and damn your tears again. You quickly wiped them away as a new fear making home in the pit of your stomach. “I’ll have a lot of stuff to pack though, and I’m not sure they’ll let me back.”

“Don’t ya’ worry your pretty little head over tha’. I’ll go with you, and we’ll take Jimmy. We’ll help you pack… and nothing else, I promise.” he added, with just a hint of mischief when you gave him a stern look. “Unless you want us to take Eric to scare ‘em.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that, snuggling up against him, head on his chest and for once, you felt like you had a way out of this. “I love you, you know that?” “Mmm. Had a hunch.” He leaned down, whispering an ‘I love you too’ against your lips before kissing you, and it felt like nothing ever before. It was gentle, and caring, yet there was a possessiveness set deep in it that let you know he’ll always take care of you.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

HMMM Hollow Echoes has gotta be simultaneously my favourite AND least favourite! Cause as much as I hate HATE that stomach dropping feeling of dread when things go bad... it's also so goooooood. 😂 I'm such a sucker for angst and Hollow Echoes DELIVERED angst on a silver platter. ((And made up for it quickly bless your heart Kiko))

But yeah just--it's just so human of Rinko to slip up and make a miscalulation (despite also having known she shouldn't have. She knew all along!). Which is something we ALL do irl despite our best efforts... and it just made this part so real. Like when you're watching a horror movie and someone makes a bad decision and it's that edge of the seat, cheek gnawing, nail biting 'no, you really should not be doing this right now, please do NOT- i'm closing my eyes' feeling, yknow?

And then Gojo's stone cold reaction? Big yikes. Rejection stings the most when your intent is to do good. And then Rinko began backpedaling and I felt that. Grade 4, pulled outside the classroom, being yelled at by the teacher because i made a bad joke. Feeling flushed, shamed, small. YEESH. Harsh, Kiko, very harsh!!

........but damn if that doesn't mean it was a sick ass segment and incredibly well written HAHAHAHA

10/10 made me feel bad, physically squirmed from discomfort, brought back core memories of school I'd rather forget, would reread again

Hollow Echoes was such a struggle but it holds a very special place in my heart.

I really felt like it fit both of them so perfectly. They reacted how humans would react, not just how characters would. I wanted their conflict and resolution to feel genuine, and I'm really glad it did!

The rejection was so rough. It was the kind that I felt while I was writing it 🥲 Because fun fact: people with ADHD are typically very sensitive to rejection (Rai (@changingchances), will probably have thoughts on this. Can I call you Rai? Is that allowed???) It's called rejection sensitivity or rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and I physically feel unwell when I experience it. So that makes writing angst that involves rejection rough for me sometimes 🫠🫠

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING THIS GAME!! And I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable by forcing you to remember traumatic/embarrassing childhood moments 😅😬

More below the cut about Hollow Echoes 🙃

Addtionally, there seem to be a few people who are just starting the series, so Hollow Echoes and Show Your Hand are getting a bit more attention, and there are comments 😂 People are very upset when they read those two installments. They get so angry that Rinko forgives Gojo.

But, like I said then, it's human of Gojo the way he does. Is it right? No. And while he doesn't apologize for those instances, he knows he shouldn't have done it, and promises not to do it again. And he follows through. That's the thing: were these instances constant, then it would be toxic and wrong for Rinko to stay. But these were always one-time instances. He fucked up once, and he didn't fuck up that way again. Gojo learned from his mistakes with Rinko, and that's why she allowed him second chances.

It's also funny because people said to 'get even' or dump him, but they weren't dating. They were friends who had sex. Yeah, they acted like a couple, but they weren't one. And that's why it worked so long!

ANYWAY, I GAVE A GIANT RANT THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO GIVE, BUT HERE WE ARE. I ALWAYS RANT 😭😭😭

[dumbassdep]

WIP whenever!

@deputyash @strangefable @cassietrn & @inafieldofdaisies all tagged me to do WIP Wednesday over the past few weeks 😬 but it's 10 minutes into Friday for me so it's a whenever with apologies for the somewhat giant delays! 💙💙💙

This WIP isn't art or writing it's cosplay cause that's what I'm working on! I do have a little written thing coming together but it's all in my head, almost fully formed but I haven't done any typing. Oop.

Anyway! I'm working on a Gale BG3 cosplay & wizard robes for my Dark Urge wizard Mercy. At the same time cause they're the same robes, Mercy was a test of the pattern & it turned out fantastically so it's time to start on Gale. I like to cosplay my video game boyfriends. Don't judge me.

My girl - my boy (who gets a reference photo instead of a glamour shot)

Bunch of WIP photos with commentary below the cut!

Patterning this belt made me want to cry so many times but Gale's is now done except the press studs to close it & Mercy's is ready to be riveted together tomorrow.

Front & back view of Mercy's robes! They were supposed to be a practice really but I went a bit nuts, overlayed a floral black lace over a colour shift purple for the sleeves, same purple for the little sash-y thing on the front. Metallic copper for the back panel/belt & gauntlets (which are nowhere in any photos cause I haven't patterned them yet)

Mercy is a necromancy wizard so I wanted dark & a bit creepy, so the purple/green shift was perfect. It's curtains I picked up from Savers a while ago. The lace was also thrifted yeeeears ago from a theatre sale, black was destined for some forgotten project, Jedi robes maybe? I only bought the copper leatherette for these robes, very good job if I may congratulate myself a little. ☺️

Closer view mostly cause I love how this shows the colour shift in the purple. The gold buttons are temporary placeholders til the actual fastenings arrive, ordered them from an Etsy store called IllustrisModels! 2 sets one for her, one for him.

Finally, & I know this one is boring, fabric choices for Gale! It's a purple linen, a red velvet & 2 brown suedes, the darker one the belt & gauntlets are made of & a lighter brown for the shoulder/back piece. I did have to buy the linen for this & linen is expensive but it was on sale. I realise I'm talking a lot about purchases for seemingly no reason, I had a goal this year to destash as much fabric as I could instead of buying fabric but I did give myself allowance to buy some cause specific projects need specific things sometimes!

That's it! That's my current project! With a lot of rambling. I'm excited to get them done & have nowhere to wear them. But I might wear the black robes out to lunch or something if we go somewhere fancy. Technically *not* cosplay. Just *inspired* and therefore acceptable. Says me.

[wheresunandseameet]

2, 3, and 6 for your Blue Beetle S/I mayhaps?

Of course! I will see about sending you at least 2 more numbers to make it even haha 😄.

2. What is your backstory? What was your home life like?

My back story is very much same as real life so i shall be slightly vague 😅 and under the cut cause it still feels very not vague enough 😬.

Also i got rambly and used a lot of like verbal visuals (metaphors? Similies? Its been a while since i was in English class, i need to get a refresher ngl). I didn't add pictures sorry.

Second child of divorced parents. Middle child if including half siblings and step sibling. Was very smily yet shy as a kid but, because of bullying, became quieter and easier to forget/overlook. Raised evangelical Christian and often involved in church things like retreats and summer camps before becoming Agnostic and moving to kinda polytheistic.

Home life was slightly better than school as there wasn't any bullying but things definitely weren't perfect since i didn't get along great with my step father. a lot of larping with the two younger neighbor kids, a lot of computer games, writing and drawing to pass the time. A lot of jumping the elementary school fence with my siblings to play when there was no school. Not much friends outside of church until about middle or high school. A lot of expectations to be like my sister but i never could meet them.

3. What is your sense of style? Do you have any specific aesthetics when it comes to your wardrobe?

I split my sense of style into "wish" and 'capable of'.

My wish style is kinda a mix of 90s/2000s Emo and Skater (a mix of like Avril Lavigne, Hayley Williams, and Edward Elric) with a side of like nerdy/weeb. Some more larpy clothes as well which would include like period specific clothes (like pride and prejudice/bridgerton like dresses or merlin like dresses or clothes both of merlin and ya know all the knights with their armor and weapons).

My 'capable of' style is more about comfort and is somewhat nerdy. It is only like 40% about insecurities. Most of it is just lack of access to funds or actually well made clothes (as the fabrics of stuff isn't that great these days).

My aesthetic is generally probably comfortable but also definitely more on the side of skater if that makes sense (despite my ankles being a bit too wobbly to actually skate 😅😅)

6. What is your personality like? Are there any personality traits that are more evident than others?

Aside from my resting bitch face, i start of polite (possibly including a fake smile) but reserved with my guarded-ness only showing when provoked even if the provocation was only in my own perspective.

If things stay pleasant, the politeness becomes more genuine and any smiles become much less fake. If someone is able to pick a good topic that cracks my shell, i equate it to me blooming like a flower or the sun/moon (depends on perspective tbh) coming out from behind the clouds. I am a big daydreamer prone to focusing on hurt and on comfort.

I am not great at keeping myself 100% safe from people hurting me, if they know how to get me to open up in the first place, and i am not great at immediately cutting ties with toxic people. I will hold onto any "positive" relationship until a line is crossed which then has me cutting ties like someone being thrown overboard a sailing ship.

As to most evident personality traits, it depends on how closely one watches.

Generally i feel like it is my reserved-ness especially with the whole resting bitch face. I don't feel all that charismatic, Generally i feel like i am very awkward, but friends have made me occasionally second guess if my perspective is right or not. I feel like there is also a bit of go with the flow -ness to me as generally i won't rock the boat unless someone is trying to start something that would affect someone else. Like take shit about me? Sure i might cry later but i wouldn't really respond but if someone goes after my friend or even just someone near me? Oh buddy, you just fucked up.

[wikiangela]

finally getting to Lone star 4x09 😂 I've been watching the episodes days late recently lol

(but 4x09 - BEST episode this season so far hands down, and possibly one of my faves ever, it was so fucking good)

thoughts and spoilers under the cut

aww Marjan's coming back??? yaaay I'm so excited 😍

idk why but all the joking etc in this scene feels kinda awkward and cringe and lowkey almost forced...? 😂 idk, maybe it's just me, it just feels weird 😂

awww Marjan is such a good person fr, she cares soooo much 🥺 she's amazing

ngl I didn't think we'd stick with the Grant and Kiley storyline for more than one episode, but it looks like he's... going after Marjan or something? 😬 it's exciting but also worrying (and I just realized I either didn't watch the promo or forgot everything about it bc I have no idea where we're going 😂)

Owen freaking out about the party is so funny lmao - I'm gonna say it once more: Rob Lowe is SO GOOD in comedic roles

oh shit Marjan 😱😱 and she was in the car that caused that family to crash oh my god 😱 oh I feel so bad 😰😰

and of course Grant is fine 🙄 I really want him to die tbh

seeing Marjan like this is literally making me tear up 😭 she's such a good person and this is what she gets for it, that's so not fair 😭

oh my god Mouse is the only one who survived?!??? 💔😭 are you kidding me, I wasn't prepared to be hit in the feels like this tonight oh god - and she's blaming herself noooo baby 🥺😭

I'm crying - they gave me a hurt Marjan and a little girl who just lost her best friend, and they broke me 😭

thank god they all know Marj so well and are so worried - and thank god for Grace always being the best 😭

I knew it was gonna happen but it still surprised - RIP Rick, he was just trying to help jfc

Grant needs to fucking die, get his annoying face off my screen 😠

OH SHIT and she got shot too???! don't fucking do this to me oh my god 😭 I cannot handle this

Mouse is fucking awesome, I'm praying she doesn't get hurt (and that Marjan will be fine)

my hear is breaking fr, my poor Marjan 😭💔

this episode is fucking good

the best this season so far, hands down

Marjan's a damn hero and they need to save her 😭😭😭

and, again, Mouse is fucking amazing fr

oh my god they're so close to her!!

they came for her and they're so close and she hears them and I'm fucking crying 😭

omg she has the flare gun is she gonna use it?!! YAAAAS!!! SHE KILLED HIM!! THAT'S MY GIRL! ❤️😍😍

omg is Mouse not really there??? did she die? what the fuck??? oh they got me with her fr

okay, I need to take a moment for Carlos in glasses and TK sleeping while hugging Carlos' arm because that's too adorable 😍 😂 look at them 🥺😍

wait what the fuck, so Mouse and that family were never in this car crash?! why are you messing with my emotions like this oh my god

oh my god Mouse was Marjan

oh my god

this makes it so much better and so much sadder

oh my god what

I'm literally sobbing 😭

her mom calls her mouse 😭😭😭

OH MY GOD THAT WAS SOOOO GOOD!!!

Mouse was Marjan!!! (lowkey crying bc she still feels guilty for that crash 😭) that was a twist I didn't see coming but it makes so much sense oh my god

it was Marjan's episode Natacha did an amazing job fr - I was a sobbing mess by the end of it

I love how this episode finally felt like they're all a family, you know, planning the party bc Marjan was coming back, and immediately knowing that something's wrong bc not showing up or not having her phone on is so unlike her - they know her so well 😭 - and they all worked together to save her and it was amazing

and Marjan!!! she basically saved herself, while barely able to walk, bleeding from her head and then after being shot???! she's so fucking strong and badass and amazing

(and I said multiple time that Mouse was amazing, which means - Marjan is SO fucking amazing)

and I love that we got at least a little bit of her backstory, about her family dynamics, with her parents not coming to her games etc (while Tommy sat through three hours of ballet, bless her soul, ballet sucks 😂)

I need an episode like that for every single one of them (but maybe with less near-death experiences pls 😂)

I literally loved it SO MUCH - it might be one of my faves episodes of this show ever tbh, so good (and to think my stupid ass wanted to drop this show two episodes ago wtf bitch lmao)

it was amazing, I need time to process lmao

[neon-vocalist]

Hinata and Asaki and Nobu and Momnata teehee

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs

💤 A headcanon about their sleep

🫂 A friendship headcanon :)

💔 An angsty headcanon

🪢 A headcanon about their family

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🍫 A headcanon about food

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

😶 A random headcanon!

You don’t have to do all of them 😭😭😭 I just I just

this is going under a cut because holy fucking shit. @interesteddisaster

Hinata

🧸 - When she was little, she couldn’t pronounce her name right, so a lot of people thought it was Hinana for like a really long time

👻 - Irrational fear of ducks

👽 - Does not swear ever. Makes everyone want to cry with the words she uses as replacements.

💤 - She has been able to lucid dream since she can remember and can’t figure out how to turn it off.

🫂 - You know this, but I want Tumblr to know this, so. She and Asaki first became sort of friends in early elementary, when Asaki pushed Haruto off a swing so she could get on. This was not because he liked her (he still hated her), but because he hated Haruto more.

💔 - Can’t seem to convince herself she’s a good person so she works herself half to death trying to do the best thing for everyone on a personal and global scale (while neglecting herself in the process). Positive she doesn’t deserve anything she has.

🪢 - Considers Tomomi and Asaki her brothers :)

📓 - LOVES those DIY craft videos. Her house is full of little DIY soaps and lip glosses and stuff.

🔪 - Runs people over with her wheelchair out of affection

🌟 - Wants to change the world and inspire people. Preferably through music or theatre.

🥇 - Best at… being a good sister :)

🍫 - Vegetarian! Tried to be gluten free & vegan in her past but it Did Not work. Girlie LIVES on pasta.

🎭 - Doesn’t like to lie, but when she does, it’s usually to protect someone else, and it’s as close to the truth as she can make it.

🖕- Never lets herself get angry. She’ll have one (1) vaguely upset thought about someone and then be like “I do not have all sides of the story. I will give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s probably my fault anyway. I am not allowed to be upset over this.”

😬 - She once sabotaged every other sprinter in a race so Asaki could win, since he was feeling really bad about himself and she wanted to cheer him up. Caused two broken legs on two different people. Never got caught.

😭 - I genuinely can’t figure this out. I have a vague idea but no details and either way it hasn’t happened in plot yet :)

😶 - Makes homemade candy and gives it to people. Can’t cook anything else. Everyone is BAFFLED as to how she’s mastered the handling of 300° sugar but can’t make a sandwich.

Nobu

🧸 - Does not remember his childhood (hmm, I wonder why /s) [his backstory hasn’t been fully fleshed out yet but it’s gonna be so bad]

👻 - Afraid of everything → tries to act like he’s not → fails miserably→ reads scientific papers about it until he’s less scared

👽 - Little guy is ENTIRELY weird quirks, like, there’s not a normal thing about him. He believes he’s a 17th century philosopher reincarnated. I don’t know why. He’s so weird.

💤 - Does not sleep ever. If he does, it’s on the floor. Has to be bribed by Hinata to use his bed (bribery often does not work).

🫂 - Has imaginary friends to make up for lack of irl friends. He doesn’t like calling them “imaginary friends” though. He says it’s childish, so he calls them acquaintances from his past life.

💔 - Absolutely TERRIFIED of going back into the system. Still doesn’t quite feel safe at home, still finds himself with urges to mask and hide and act normal to make sure Momnata doesn’t decide she’s sick of him.

🪢 - Has lived with the Suzuki family for five years. Before his adoption he can’t remember much, but sometimes he is reminded of a little boy just a few years older than he is, who taught him first how to walk and then how to love.

📓 - He doesn’t play any instruments, but taught himself to read all forms of music notation anyway. He creates those sheet music art pieces of his favourite birds.

🔪 - This kid does not have a single violent bone in his body. Sorry.

🌟 - Doesn’t know what he wants to do yet, but probably something very technical, scientific, and too confusing for anyone else too comprehend. May end up one of those crazy reclusive mathematicians who spends decades on one problem.

🥇 - Best at overthinking

🍫 - Loves to cook. Will cry if he makes something for you and you don’t like it.

🎭 - Absolutely the most brutally honest little asshole you will ever meet. Unaware of lying as a concept. Never heard the word before in his life.

🖕- Writes aggressive letters to the mayor &/or specific companies’ CEOs when he discovers social or environmental injustices. None of them ever get answered

😬 - Poisoned someone

😭 - Hehe :)

😶 - Spills all of Hinata’s secrets to her new friends, even the really embarrassing ones. Also, unrelated: idolises Asaki to a concerning level. Also also, takes EVERYTHING personally.

Asaki

🧸 - Childhood? What childhood?

👻 - He’s scared of a lot of things but has been taught he can’t show it. When Tomomi came around he wanted to strangle it because he was so afraid of Hinata abandoning him.

👽 - There’s nothing normal about this man. He needs therapy so so bad. But like… he’s really superstitious. Will cry if you break a mirror.

💤 - Can’t sleep a lot of the time. Struggles to get to sleep because of paranoia and struggles to stay asleep because of nightmares. Ends up having a lot of late night talks with Nobu.

🫂 - Has only had one friend ever (Hinata). Will bite scratch maim kill if he thinks there’s a threat to her or to their relationship.

💔 - This guy’s entire backstory is angst but uhh… eventually he starts feeling really bad about how he treated Tomomi which makes him start spiralling and pushing everyone away CERTAIN he doesn’t deserve to be loved

🪢 - When Momnata finds out what he’s going through at home, she works with some higher-ups to get him legally removed from his home. In the meantime, she just illegally adopts him. Extended sleepover starts now.

📓 - Speaks 10 languages plus conlangs, fluent binary & Morse, and multiple coding languages. Can play 8 instruments. Both these things may or may not be coping mechanisms.

🔪 - Punches people who hurt (intentionally or accidentally) Hinata, Nobu, or Naomi. Has punched Tomomi four times.

🌟 - Just wants to feel safe somewhere. Secretly wishes for the death of his father. Nobody knows about either of these things.

🥇 - Best at being a sad little train wreck of a human being. Does pretty impressive coding stuff, too, I guess.

🍫 - Doesn’t eat much. Could not give less of a shit about food. Eats what’s easiest because he has to.

🎭 - Lies a lot about a lot of things. Works with Hinata to stop lying a lot about a lot of things. Still struggles to tell people the truth about how he’s doing.

🖕- Uses anger to conceal all other emotions. Gets really pissed really easily. Goes straight to “fuck you fuck you bite scratch kill” immediately instead of any effort at communication or repair. Nobody is surprised why he has no friends.

😬 - Does punching Tomomi in the face (with his prosthetic) count?

😭 - There are genuinely so many things I could say for this one, but uhh… he once had to hide his sister and mom underneath the porch floor from his dad because he was threatening to kill them. Bad hiding spot. Only he and his mom made it out alive.

😶 - Is literally the only reason Hinata isn’t completely failing English.

Momnata

🧸 - Used to love those huge rainbow swirl lollipops. Got one for every holiday. Would collect the sticks. Still has some somewhere.

👻 - Has a lot of secrets. Afraid someone’s gonna find them out and ask questions and then she’ll lose everything.

👽 - Not really a quirk, more of a?? Talent?? But since her students work with dangerous acids, chemical waste, and sometimes fire, if someone screams/yells/makes any sort of shocked or afraid noise, she is going to be at their side in less than 5 seconds. Girl will jump over tables if need be. She is MAKING SURE that nobody’s gonna get chemically wasted on her watch.

💤 - Yells at her children all the time about the importance of a full night’s sleep (9 hours and 27 minutes for teens). None of them listen.

🫂 - Her closest friends are the lady she shares a classroom with & the other science department teachers. Often works with them to try and make things easier for struggling students.

💔 - Often has to sit and watch while her kids battle through things she doesn’t know how to make better. Kind of breaks her heart but she can’t do anything about it.

🪢 - Was married to Asaki’s dad before she realised what an ass he was and left with a significant amount of his fortune. Stole his son 14 years later.

📓 - Really good chemist! Adores Nobu’s interest in cooking and Hinata’s interest in creating cosmetics because it means they could one day follow in her footsteps (they will not).

🔪 - Did boxing in high school and has to restrain herself from physically harming people when she sees them harassing others.

🌟 - Just wants the best for her kids (Asaki and her students count as her kids).

🥇 - Best at giving big hugs and making good soup

🍫 - Absolutely happy to let Nobu take over cooking dinners. Has given up on trying to oversee his use of dangerous tools.

🎭 - Tells lies & breaks rules in favour of her students on occasion. Will cover for them if they need more sleep, a snack, a night off, whatever.

🖕- Gets so so angry at some of the ways her students are treated. Can’t do much about it though. Has many voice memos on her phone that are just her screaming.

😬 - From a legal standpoint? The snatching of Asaki’s dad’s money and children. From a moral standpoint… refusing to tell Asaki and Hinata just how close they really are. For selfish reasons. Ough.

😭 - “Was in a pretty abusive relationship in high school. Yikes.” (Apparently that’s all Sunnie has to say on the matter so that’s all you’re getting).

😶 - Will sponsor anyone’s therapy except her own. Does not think anything could be wrong with her. Consistently invalidates Hinata’s anxiety, OCD, and autism because of this.

[27emailsicantsend]

Rina Spin-Dip Prediction Fic

Dedicated to/Request by: @rinadotcom ily so much. I am so sorry this took me so long to write. I got busier than expected and I think it was good to wait because now I have more context! Do I think this prediction fic is actually how episode 5 will go? Honestly…. I think I’m reaching. But I was really excited to write it, so thank you for the request! SIA if there are any typos 😬

Trembling hands. Beating hearts. The silence in the room was sharp, tangible. Gina held onto Ricky’s arms for dear life, her hands trying to avoid letting go. Their eyes gazed every part of each other’s face… mouth, nose, eyes, lips. It was as if they were studying a painting, wanting to hold onto every detail. Ricky’s arms embraced tightly around Gina’s back, feeling every curve and twist of the fabric on her shirt. He could stay like this forever.

“Whoa,” Gina gasped under her breath, loud enough for only Ricky to perceive.

What she wasn’t aware of, was two more echoes of her sentiment from across the room, coming from Ashlyn and Val. Ashlyn knew of Gina’s old feelings for Ricky, but also felt like Gina had tried to move on with EJ. She wasn’t sure how close Gina and Ricky actually were outside of what Gina had said. However, she was consistently around EJ and Gina. From dinners at the house, to movie nights, to walks together… they grew close between the final play and summer camp. Val, on the other hand, had been growing more and more suspicious of Gina since the “incident”. The incident being when Gina point-blank asked her if she knew about EJ leaving and not telling Gina first. The incident which caused a larger rift in the relationship outside of EJ’s obvious jealousy of Ricky. Val hated being the middle man, but her integrity felt like she had to. EJ and Gina don’t communicate, so it was now Val’s turn to step in.

She knew EJ had been jealous of Ricky, but it wasn’t until she saw Ricky and Gina dance together that she was able to see the bond that held them so close. A bond, which she vowed to never tell EJ, seemed more connected than any other leads at camp. And they had all been so, so connected before. Silently, she celebrated a little. While she felt bad for EJ, she was proud she picked two main cast members that had so much chemistry it would make even the greatest scholars scratch their heads.

“A-and cut! That’s a wrap guys,” Val said, equally as shaken out of her thoughts as Ricky and Gina were to her sudden voice. While the pair broke apart, the tension continued to rise.

Gina, mentally needing to wrap her head around the feelings she had during that dance number, swept to the side of the stage to get a drink out of her water bottle. As she was taking a drink, she heard a voice say a sentence that made her nearly choke.

“You still like Ricky”.

“What??” Gina said, coughing on the water still stuck in her wind pipe.

“I said, you like Ricky,” Ashlyn said, in a surprised tone. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it still. I guess I just accepted after learning about your feelings for EJ, that that meant your ones for Ricky were gone. Dang, you were good at hiding what was really beneath the surface”. It was Ashlyn’s turn to choke a little. She didn’t realize how much of what she just said applied to her situation.

Gina grabbed Ashlyn’s arm tight, looked quickly from side to side, and pulled her further off stage- where she was sure no one would hear.

“Ow??” Ashlyn yanked her arm away.

“Sorry,” Gina said awkwardly. “Look, I don’t know what I feel. I just-“ Gina looked over at Ricky again. He had his same large, goofy grin on his face. The same one she saw when she teased him. Or when he sang to her. Or when she knew he felt truly happy. He was laughing with Carlos about something related to Olaf. She was so happy he was here.

“After everything with Nini and Lily, the chocolates, my relationship with EJ… thinking about anything related to that right now is too much”.

“Are you running away again?” Ashlyn didn’t ask this in a condescending or even a joking tone. It was more caring, gentle. It was about Gina’s feelings.

“No…” Gina looked at Ricky one more time. “At least, I don’t think I am”.

Later, after rehearsals, Ricky opened the door to his cabin, singing “What Do You Know about Love” in a giddy voice. His singing was cut off quick by a demand, however.

“When are you going to tell me?” Jet asked, in his usual assertive, dry tone.

“Tell you what, dude?” Ricky asked, beginning to feel his heart race.

“You said the other night I didn’t know the whole story. I want to know the whole story”.

Ricky felt his muscles tense, his face grew warm. “I told you, there is nothing more to say”.

Jet called him out immediately, again. “You never said that. You only said I didn’t know the whole story. Well, I’m listening”. Jet sat up on his bed and laid his phone next to his lap, propping his elbows on his legs. He was as attentive as ever.

And as annoying, thought Ricky. “Ok, so let’s say I did tell you, whose to say you’re not going to go off and tell someone else? Use it against me in the show? Hm?”

Jet jokingly put a hand to his heart, “oh Ricky! You hurt me!” He brought his tone back to normal. “You already know I don’t talk to anyone here and I really, really don’t care about being in that stupid show. Maybe it might be good to talk to someone you probably won’t ever talk to again after camp”.

Ricky got immediately defensive. Ricky knew Jet just had his walls up from all of the back and forth that happened between him and the other campers, but he felt hurt that Jet thought so little of him. Ricky felt a deep care for Jet, like a brother that he wanted to protect. Someone who seemed scared to face something new- camp- a feeling Ricky was all too familiar with.

“You know that’s not true”. Jet surprisingly didn’t fight this statement. “But… I remember in the woods you said I didn’t know your whole story either. How about if I tell you mine, you tell me yours? It can be like, some camp brotherhood pact or something. And we can promise never to tell anyone else”.

“Deal,” Jet agreed as he reached his hand across the top bunk, shaking Ricky’s as he stood below Jet.

Ricky walked to the other side of the room, flipping a chair around smoothly. He was obviously prepping to story tell.

“Well… it began on Valentine’s Day…”

Ricky surprisingly opened up easily to Jet about everything he had been keeping locked in. He explained that he actually did get Gina the chocolates, but with his relationship with Nini he felt too uncomfortable to tell Gina it was him. It might have been a romantic gesture, but everything was too confusing and he didn’t want to confuse her more. He explained that he wanted to confess how he felt after he heard Carlos talk about the “next girl” possibly being the right one, but how EJ bringing up his “eyes for Gina”, made Ricky feel uncomfortable getting in between. He told Jet how he felt like, maybe, Lily being around had been a sign that the next girl wasn’t Gina, but it was Lily. Until he realized how much he disliked being around Lily this summer and doesn’t know if he can ever forgive her for stealing his harness. Then he talked about returning to camp, thinking that this could be his do-over, even at friendship with Gina, but that he wasn’t sure if their relationship could be entirely reconciled, knowing he withheld the truth about the chocolates from her. Knowing, from movie night, that she hates liars. And EJ wasn’t a liar- anymore. If anything, sometimes he was too truthful. Like some of the comments he’s made at camp, or when he went through that incredibly uncomfortable “total honesty” phase on social media about half a year back.

“But it’s too late now. Gina is with EJ and she’s happy,” Ricky sighed as he finished up his confessional.

Jet raised his eyebrow as he looked past Ricky’s chair, out the window, “are you sure about that?”

“What-?” Ricky quickly looked behind him, nearly knocking his chair over. He saw Gina angrily shaking a paper at EJ out their cabin window. Ricky ducked down behind the chair, hoping they wouldn’t notice his peering eyes. He looked back at Jet, who made no effort to hide his eavesdropping.

“You lied to me, EJ!”

“Listen, Gina, I know I did at first, but I really was planning on telling you!”

“When? After Val? After Ashlyn? After every other camper? You should have came to me first. I’m your girlfriend! Not them,” Gina said, slightly softening.

“Well… definitely not Ashlyn, that’d be weird,” EJ joked, trying to soothe the tension.

Gina glared.

“Ok, ok, sorry G. I really am. It’s just you were spending so much time with Ricky, I got scared-“

“This isn’t about Ricky. Which, by the way, I really don’t appreciate the way you’ve been treating him. Like it or not, EJ, he’s my friend. And if you want to date me, you’re just going to have to deal with that!”

“I didn’t do any of this to hurt you, G. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Gina crinkled the letter a little in her hands, tears filling her eyes. She held onto it for a few seconds and then gently handed it to EJ. He took it with uncertainty.

“It’s too late for that, EJ. You lied. You hurt me,” Gina said, before she walked off into the dark.

Ricky sat in astonishment as he watched EJ, reeling as he stared at the piece of paper. Ricky began to contemplate what it might be, until he saw EJ look up and walk toward the door. Ricky quickly ran over to his bunk, sitting awkwardly on the bottom bed, playing with the ledge of his blanket. Jet picked up his game again, laying back down.

EJ walked in, not saying a word. “Oh hey EJ!” Ricky said, trying to act casual. EJ shook his head and walked to the bathroom. Sighing, Ricky put his head in his hands. What has he done?

The next day, after rehearsal, it was obvious Gina was not talking to EJ. She kept glaring at him from across the room and finding reasons to talk to anyone that wasn’t him. When rehearsal was over, Ricky began to put his chair away when he heard a voice behind him.

“What was it like? When Nini didn’t tell you she was leaving?”

Completely caught off guard, Ricky set his chair down and spun around to see Gina, eyes wet and afraid.

“Wha-what do you mean?”

“I mean Ricky, what was it like? On New Years, when Nini told you she was going to Denver. She didn’t say a word about it and then threw it at you out of nowhere. It had to have felt like something. What did you do?”

Ricky softened. He saw a girl, sad and distressed, looking for comfort. “It was more of what I didn’t do. I didn’t respond well. I was hurt, scared of change, felt lied to. I wanted so badly for us to work… that I overworked us. I didn’t let things go naturally and I think it hurt a lot more than just Nini and me”. Ricky stared into Gina’s eyes at this last sentence for a few seconds too long. Awkwardly, they broke contact as Gina responded.

“You know that you’re the only one I really-“

“Talk to about this? Yeah, I know. But maybe you should talk to EJ. He’s your boyfriend,” Ricky said with slight bitterness in his voice.

Gina was hurt. She wasn’t sure what she was more hurt by. The fact that Ricky wouldn’t listen to her, the fact that she recognized she was talking to everyone else but EJ… the same thing she was mad at him for, and the fact that this conversation felt very familiar to the one at Carlos’ Quinceañero.

“Oh-ok you’re right. I… I guess I will,” Gina hesitated to walk away. Every time she went to move her feet, it was like suddenly they were frozen to the ground. Time continued to move around her as she stood still, in this moment with Ricky. She didn’t want it to end.

Say something. Anything. She begged him in her head.

As if he heard her, Ricky’s voice shattered the silence, “Or you can wait here with me until you’re ready.” Ricky realized that when he was feeling all of the hurt and fear from everything in his life this last year, the one thing that made him feel better was when someone stayed. When someone reminded him that he was ok to be upset, and sat with him through the hurt. When his mom or Big Red held him in their arms as he cried or when Gina cared about his acoustic song idea when everyone else seemed too busy to care. The people that stayed were the people that cared and this time he would stay.

“Really?” Gina said, a small drop falling softly down her cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ricky said with certainty.

Gina walked close to him, hands pressed to her face, her head in his neck. Ricky enveloped her tightly in his arms as she shook anxiously, fear of losing someone she cared about obviously consuming her. He continued to hold her as she cried, knowing all the while, he’s been the reason she’s cried too.

[zepskies]

Lmaoo "The One With Ted" did not disappoint...

Seeing a glimpse of their growing friendship in the first flashback scene was somehow both sweet and bittersweet, but of course, there's also that hint of "more" on Beau's side that he's desperately trying to hide. 😅

“Y/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlin’. This obsession isn’t healthy. I’m taking you home,” he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.

Loll not the dad voice! So sweet that he tried to "cut her off," even though he ultimately wasn't successful. Always more shit hitting the fan, isn't there? 😬

“Do you know what cartels do to bodies, Beau? To rivals? To law enforcement? ‘Cause I just came back from a job where we found forty-eight decapitated bodies, left to rot inside the walls of a house. Still haven’t found the heads yet. Probably never will,” you told him and stared him dead into his dark green eyes. “Ever seen that before, desperado?” Beau bit his lips, averting his gaze. “No.”

That's what makes their situation all the harder -- the fact that she's in law enforcement as well and understands this aspect of things all too well. 😰 It's truly amazing that she and Beau were able to get past this hurdle and actually fall in love. It shows how forgiving she is, I think.

“Well, I’m a hard one to quit,” Beau quipped almost proudly, like a peacock showing off his fan of feathers. “As are cigarettes and many other vices,” Ted shot back with the same stupidly proud grin. Translation: You’re an ass. And a failure. She deserves so much better. I’m ‘better.’ But maybe that didn't need a translation.

HELP. I'm deceased. 🤣🤣🤣 I was smirking/laughing throughout this entire exchange, but this in particular took me out! Ted has nothing but audacity. But at least the reader had Beau's back on this one. 😆

“It was a set-up, alright? I talked to my DEA contact. Cody said your intel was wrong. They knew you and Randy were closing in on them. They wanted to get rid of you,” you explained.

Ahh, nice that they had this heart to heart, and also this revelation. But while of course that really does nothing to soothe Beau's guilt, at least it allows her to forgive him.

“Says you,” Beau quipped and unzipped your jeans, eagerly pulling them off you as his mouth sucked your clavicle purple and blue. “That slimy coyote always had it out for me.”

LMAO Oh Beau. You're right, it is funny to imagine him saying "slimy coyote." 😂 Bet this is what he wishes would happen to Ted:

It accumulated like dark, violent storm clouds on the horizon, forecasting roaring thunder and heavy rainfall.

Lolll an excellent line.^

“Just between us, you’re the best lover I ever had,” you confessed with a wide grin. The corners of his mouth rose to match yours. “Well, between us, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. You’re it, darlin’. You know that, right? You’re the love of my life,” Beau revealed, making you smile brighter than you ever had before.

Oooh what a declaration that is from her! The fact that Beau's the best she's ever had, even including Randy, I'm assuming. 😅

And Beau, sweet Beau, that was a beautiful rom-com worthy line right there. 💗

“Jenny said Diane just walked into the station and gave herself up. She is ready to confess but only wants to talk to us.”

Ooh shit, Diane is certainly up to something. 😬😬 I'm both excited and scared to see what's coming next!!

Polaris – Chapter 7

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, mentions of cartels, grief, smut

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: The chapter where we find out why Ted is on Beau's punch list aka The One With Ted... 😂

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 7: Storm Coming

May 2021

“I sold the house,” you said, your voice ripping through the quiet of the car during another starry stake-out night.

“So you’re homeless now?” Beau joked and peeled his eyes away from the front window view and glanced at you from the driver’s seat, his hand resting on the steering wheel, the other one in his lap.

You chuckled. “Yup, but I got a hot plate now in my motel room and one of those Italian moka pots. So, you know, some would say I’m living the dream.”

Beau snorted in amusement before he pensively rubbed his mouth with two fingers. “You didn’t have to sell the house, you know?”

You heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I kinda did, though… I didn’t like staying in there anymore. It’s just… too many memories, I guess? ‘Sides, I’m always down here anyways. Actually considering moving here.”

Beau frowned at you, his nose scrunching. “What, to Mexico? Are you nuts? Over my dead body are you doin’ that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a say in it,” you retorted rather playfully and put a shocked palm on your chest in mock.

“Damn right, I do,” Beau scoffed his reply with a teasing grin. “Who do you think is lookin’ out for ya, huh?”

“Wait, you think you are? That’s what you believe?” You snorted a laugh, entering banter territory with him.

It was usually how you passed your time during most of these stake-outs – laughing, teasing, and the occasional talking about your problems. You’d never known Beau like this before. He was your husband’s best friend, but he had been more of an acquaintance to you. Now, after months of spending close to every day together, it felt like he was your best friend. Since Randy’s death, he’d been there for you, even if it was mostly out of guilt.

“Yeah, what d’you think?” Beau countered challengingly.

“Oh sweetie, you’re not looking after me. I’m looking after you,” you stated confidently. The smile that twitched on his lips seemed to actually agree with you. “Out of the two of us, you’re the way bigger wreck. Some would even think it’s your husband who died, not mine.”

“Are you calling me a girl?”

You coolly shrugged your shoulders. “Either I’m calling you a girl, or I’m calling you gay. I’ll let you pick.”

Laughingly, Beau scoffed and muttered, “You wish I was gay.”

However, you still heard his mumbled reply and responded, “Actually, I wish you were a girl and that I was gay.”

Beau stared at you and leaned back against the door for a better view of you, his brow raised and the corners of his lips drawn slightly upwards in amusement. “What are we even talking about?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted with a shake of your head.

The two of you then burst into loud laughter that filled the entire SUV. For a moment, all your sorrows and hardships seemed to be forgotten, carried away to the desert with the nightly breeze. Then, the familiar and comfortable quiet took over the car again.

“I’m moving out of the house, too,” Beau said, his eyes focusing on the barren landscape and desolate road ahead. “I’m giving it to Carla. I mean, she didn’t ask me to. God knows she can take care of herself… But I want Emily to keep living in the home she grew up in, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. That’s really nice,” you said quietly. Your soft smile then morphed to a grin. “So you’re homeless, too, huh?”

Beau laughed, throwing his head back into the seat. “Yeah, guess I am. Maybe we should live together?” he suggested half-jokingly.

“Like roommates? Ugh, God no!” You scoffed in abhorrence. “We’re way too old for that. You’re over forty, I’m barely in my thirties–”

“You do know I know exactly how old you really are, right?” Beau teased.

You decided to ignore that jab and continued, unbothered. “It would be seriously so sad. The Widow And The Divorcee – sounds like the worst sitcom on the planet. ‘Sides, it’d be super awkward if one of us starts dating again.”

“Fine, maybe you’re right,” Beau relented with a soft chuckle and then glanced at you sideways. His heart gained speed in his chest. “You ever think about it? Dating? Gettin’ out there again? Been nine months.”

You twitched your shoulders, choosing not to look at him. “I don’t know. Is nine months long enough after your husband died?”

Thoughtfully, Beau licked his lips and let out a small sigh. “I don’t think there’s a timeline, or a right and wrong. I just think it’s one of those things that when you’re ready, you’re ready.”
 “Well, consider me not ready then, I guess,” you replied honestly.

“Alright,” Beau accepted, bobbing his head. “But I still think you should try again at some point, you know? You shouldn’t be alone for the rest of your life. First of all, it’d be a total waste, ‘cause, I mean, look at you. And secondly, you’re barely in your thirties, after all,” he repeated your earlier joke with a soft grin.

You felt the heat creep to your cheeks in the moonlight. As you looked at him, you could see his smirk, making you laugh. “Noted,” you replied and were thankful for his pep talk. “I mean, there’ve been offers.”

Beau quirked one eyebrow, a hard lump forming in his throat as his chest tightened. “Offers? Like plural? Who?”

“Well, just some of the guys from our team. Cody, Jordan, Ted…” you named a few. “Also a few locals. Remember those guys we played pool with a few weeks ago? Two of ‘em asked for my number.”

“Huh. That is plural…” Beau pursed his lips and couldn’t keep his brow from wrinkling, his grip on the steering wheel stiffening. “Well, you know, when you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Shouldn’t force anything. No rush, darlin’.”

Smooth, Beau thought wryly with an internal sigh.

“Right, I know,” you agreed. “I do miss sex, though. Getting kinda bored of my vibrator.”

Beau choked on his spit. “Jesus…”

“What? Am I not allowed to talk about it? I thought we were friends. You’re supposed to care about my well-being and happiness,” you argued, frowning.

“I do care. Just… Can we please not talk about that?” he begged and exhaled a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his freckled nose.

“Fine. I miss having women around…” You shrugged and muttered, “Didn’t peg you for a prude.”

“Okay, let’s just get one thing straight – I’m not a prude,” he clarified in defense, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

“Alright, also noted,” you quipped, smirking to yourself. Sometimes you enjoyed making him a little uncomfortable. His blushed cheeks could be quite cute. “What about you? Have you still not talked to Carla? I’m sure you can win her back if you tried. You’re a lot better now.”

“Well, thank you for the, uh, vote of confidence, but it’s really over, I guess. We just talked about all the divorce proceedings last time. I actually think she started datin’ someone recently,” Beau told you.

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Who?”

“I guess some rich tech guy. I don’t know…”

“And you’re good with that?” you questioned in disbelief.

Beau scoffed a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “Ha, no… But what am I gonna do? Kinda shot myself in the leg with that one. I don’t blame her for moving on. It’s been over for months now.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry. I was kinda rooting for you two,” you admitted.

“Well, thanks, but we weren’t you and Randy,” Beau said. It made your brow knit.

“What d’you mean?”

“C’mon, you know what I mean,” Beau replied as if it were obvious, but you still shook your head. He sighed. “You and Randy would’ve never gotten divorced.”

“You don’t know that.” Honestly, you doubted it yourself, but you were too curious to find out what he meant by his statement.

“I do know that,” Beau insisted with certainty. “You guys had that once-in-a-lifetime kinda love. The kind that made other people jealous, you know? Your love made every other relationship pale in comparison. I always figured once the honeymoon phase was over, you’d settle and be less vomit-inducing, but that never happened. Me and Carla were never like that. Not even in the beginning,” he explained, a small, soft smile shaping his mouth. “You guys were special. True love. The stuff folk singers write cheesy songs about.”

“I guess we were,” you mused quietly, the memory of everything Randy was to you causing tears to well in your eyes.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Beau apologized as soon as he noticed the sadness on your face. He reached his hand over to your side and squeezed your thigh gently, just above the knee.

“No, it’s alright,” you brushed him off, swallowing your heartache down. “But hey, if Carla wasn’t your once-in-a-lifetime, maybe she’s still out there. You just haven’t found her yet. I mean, that’s kinda a nice outlook, right?”

Licking his lips, he bobbed his head, his gaze focused on his hand on the steering wheel. “I doubt it.”

“Why? Never say never,” you said encouragingly.

“Well, maybe I already met her, and it’s too late now,” he replied. It sounded more like an actual fact than a hypothetical theory. You found yourself wondering.

“What, did you have like an old college flame? The one that got away?” you teased lightheartedly, but he only grew more serious.

“Somethin’ like that,” he replied vaguely, rubbing his mouth with his fingers.

“Look her up on Facebook. Maybe she’s divorced, too. You could reconnect or something,” you suggested. He nodded but didn’t seem too convinced. You then shot him a hesitant glance from your periphery. “So, now that Carla’s moving on, are you gonna start dating now, too? Jump back into the game?”

“I guess so… Why?” A part of him was curious to hear your response, while another part reminded him that his desired answer was only wishful thinking – and completely insane on top of that.

“That fiery brunette lady at the bar last night seemed really interested in you. Maybe you should hook up with her if she’s there again tomorrow night?” you proposed in earnest.

Wide-eyed, Beau blinked at you in incredulity – like you had lost your goddamn mind. “I’m sorry, what?! Hook up? Who are you right now? Are you tryin’ to set me up?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged simply, not seeing what the big problem was. “Don’t look at me like I’m trying to convince you to get a tramp stamp above your ass with a dirty needle. I’m just trying to be a good wingman… woman. Randy would’ve tried to set you up, right?”

Beau sighed frustratedly. “Yeah, he would’ve,” he admitted in a grumble and then barked, slightly more furious, “But you ain’t him. And I don’t want you to be, so stop it, alright?”

“Geez, I’m sorry. I was just trying to help,” you mumbled defensively and raised your hands in surrender, unsuccessfully hiding your upset over his reaction. He felt guilty when he saw the small pout on your face.

Beau rubbed his forehead before dragging his palm over the rest of his face. “I know. I’m sorry, too,” he said and let out a deep breath through his nose. “I just-… I guess I’m just waiting, okay?”

“Waiting for what?”

Beau squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. For you to be ready, he wanted to say. But he couldn’t very well do that now, could he?

“For Christ’s sake, Y/N…” he breathed exhaustively. That was all he managed to say. With his palm on his mouth, he rested his elbow against the car door, gazing out the window.

“Why are you so upset?” you asked, your brow woven with confusion.

“Switch subjects,” he requested.

It was a phrase the two of you used whenever you didn’t want to talk about something anymore. When someone pushed too much, or the topic got too emotional and you needed a break. The only rule was to always respect the request, so you had no choice but to let it go after that.

“The Texans game sucked last night, huh?”

That elicited a snort from him, and he looked at you with a warm smile. “Yeah, goddamn awful.”

“How many times are you gonna watch those?”

Beau’s question broke your concentration. Your gaze snapped from your laptop screen to his concerned face. You’d been rewatching the victims’ videos for four days straight now, trying to find more clues. Maybe even something that directly led to Diane.

“I keep thinking maybe I’ve missed something,” you mumbled and stared back into the computer, your teeth gnawing on the pen between your lips. “It’s 48 hours each. We have twenty-four victims. I keep watching them sped-up to get through them all, but maybe I should slow ‘em down. I mean, I’ve watched them full-length, normal speed a couple of times before, but maybe I should watch ‘em even slower and really focus, you know? There’s gotta be something there…”

Bobbing his head worriedly, Beau pursed his lips and took a scan of your desk. He counted eight empty cups of coffee and five cans of energy drinks. There were bags under your red eyes and your hands were jittering. He knew you hadn’t slept a lot. He tried to hold you in his arms, but as soon as he dozed off, you snuck out and went back to work.

Beau shut the laptop. “You’re cut off.”

“Hey!”

“Y/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlin’. This obsession isn’t healthy. I’m taking you home,” he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.

“Y/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlin’. This obsession isn’t healthy. I’m taking you home,” he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.

“I need that woman in prison, Beau.”

“You startin’ to sound like Jenny…” Beau quipped under his breath.

“We’re running out of time. There’s only one day left before the next victim drops,” you stated and tried your best to keep your voice steady as it broke off towards the end.

“I know.” Beau clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. “And we’ll get her. I promise you. But you’re no good to any of us if you’re exhausted and losing it right now.” You nodded and rose from your chair. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against him, kissing the top of your head affectionately. “How about some dinner, huh?”

You grinned warmly. “What, like a second date?”

“Exactly like a second date,” Beau said and mirrored your grin. He was making up for lost time as best as he could, even if it meant taking you out every night for the rest of your life.

Your phone buzzed on the table, your brow quirking at the number. Eagerly, you picked up and wound yourself out of Beau’s embrace. “Special Agent Y/L/N… Uh-huh… Great, thank you.”

Beau pursed his lips. “We’re not going out, are we?”

“‘fraid not, Sheriff.” You shook your head and chuckled at his groan. “That was IT. They’re finally done and sending over the IP addresses.”

“Alright, guess I’m gettin’ take out,” Beau announced with a small sigh, knowing the two of you were in for a long night – and not the one he had planned.

You smiled and pecked his lips. “Thank you.”

August 2020

Beau’s heart thudded frantically in his chest as his knuckles tapped your front door in the early evening. The sky was a color spectacle full of azures, indigos, and apricots as the summer sun slowly set. His boots only stood on that same spot not even twenty-four hours ago. It still felt like a surreal nightmare he couldn’t escape, his hope to wake up soon a ceaseless prayer.

He’d stayed with you all night, held you as you cried yourself to sleep. Beau awoke on your couch with your head resting on his thigh and a strange feeling in his gut. He couldn’t help but think you were beautiful, even in a state of utter turmoil, shoving said thought swiftly down into the depths of his darkening soul.

But he’d spent all day thinking of you, plagued by guilt and torn by misplaced feelings. He’d sat through hours of interviews, going over and over the events of last night till his mind spun like a hamster wheel. He was forced to fill out forms, sign documents, and recount each unforgettable step. He’d listened to lectures, sermons, and admonitions. His captain gave him a tongue-lashing that sounded like mere white noise before he was sent home with a suspension – investigation pending.

Only he didn’t go home; he came here.

At home, his wife and daughter were waiting – for a husband, a father, an explanation. None of which he could provide. Beau wanted to wallow in his grief, his guilt, his loss in peace. He lacked the strength to be strong, play pretend, and act above it all. He wanted to be punished, sent to perdition, and held accountable for his lapse of judgment. A suspension wasn’t good enough. It barely patched the abysmal gaps in his heart.

The only suitable punishment was you. Witnessing your suffering was his personally crafted hell. You were the broken remnants of his destruction, the shattered pieces of his idiocy, the explosive fallout of his arrogance.

And you hadn’t answered a single call or text of his. His torturous worry was part of his penalty.

Consecutive rings of the doorbell and incessant knocks remained unanswered. For a moment, Beau rested his forehead on the door. He felt helpless and clueless all the same. You had friends and family to take care of you, probably better suited and closer to you than him, but somehow he felt burdened with the responsibility.

He took the spare key out of the left-side planter and barged inside. The ground floor was deserted. Last night’s uneaten dinner still sat untouched on the table. It felt like a whiplash against his bare back.

Bolting upstairs, he found the door to the main bedroom ajar. He pried it open slowly, the sight of you delivering his second lashing. This time, he felt the sting burning through to his heart.

He found you curled up in bed, on your husband’s side, in your husband’s t-shirt, with your wedding photo album clutched tightly in your arms. His breath halted for a moment; his heart did, too.

Did he do this? Was this all his fault?

“Y/N?” His deep voice was quiet and careful as he spoke. Slowly, he walked over to your side and knelt down in front of you. “Darlin’, hey… You need to get up. Eat somethin’.”

Beau was sure you hadn’t moved all day. He didn’t ask you if you were alright or how you were doing. The question seemed insulting. The answer was obvious. Your phone was lighting up on the nightstand with a million unanswered calls and messages, his own among them. Your beautiful eyes were vacant, red, and empty. You didn’t cry, however, not anymore. You were dehydrated and all out of tears at this point. You never looked at him, not even a glance.

“I want him back,” you whispered, your voice coarse from screaming, crying, cursing.

Beau nodded, licking his lips. Caringly, he caressed your head, brushing a few strands of messy hair out of your face. “I know. I hope you know I’d trade places with him in a heartbeat if I could.”

For the first time your eyes found his. Your gaze was scathing and piercing. “Tell me what happened.”

Beau let out a harrowing sigh. He had rehashed the story all day long. He wasn’t sure if he could do it again, but maybe this version was the most important one. Who deserved the truth more than you?

“Y/N, I don’t think this is such a good idea, darlin’,” Beau tried to reason, mostly for himself. He wanted to hold on a little longer, the idea of you hating him tearing him apart. He wanted to spare himself the additional guilt, the anger, the hurt.

“Tell me or leave.”

Beau closed his eyes and nodded hesitantly. “Okay, alright.” He took a deep breath and settled down on the floor, leaning his back against the wooden bedside table. “We were closing in on that biker gang. Few murders, arms trafficking, drug deals… You know the drill. I’m sure Ra-… he filled you in.”

Not that long ago, Randy had asked you for advise on the case. You gave him your contacts in the DEA and a number to a CI.

“Your DEA guy warned us. Said the gang was working closely with the cartel down in Juárez. But I had my own intel that only a few members were meeting at the Hatcher warehouse in MacGregor. It was supposed to be a small deal. But I figured it could lead to bigger things if we shook ‘em down, you know? But fuckin’ Harper told us no like usual. Refused to give us back-up. Said to pass the case on to the DEA. But Randy and I worked our asses off the last few months to get even this far. We were so close. I didn’t wanna let go… So, I suggested we go in anyways. It was supposed to be only three guys from the gang. I knew if we were smart about it, we could easily take ‘em down, you know?”

You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on the bed. Shaking your head, you chuckled humorlessly and grabbed the half-empty whiskey bottle from the nightstand. “‘Course you did. It’s not the first time you broke a rule or shit on authority.”

“Yeah, and I was right every single time,” Beau bit. His anger wasn’t geared at you but at himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He flew too close to the sun and got burned. But he still felt the need to defend himself, even if it was unjustified.

His gaze drifted to the dresser and the patch of wall above it, decorated with photographic evidence of yours and his partner’s life together. The wedding, dates, vacations, holidays – it was all there. Beau had watched it all, start to finish. He wished he could rewind the tape and cut off the ending, all so you could have the love of your life back. He didn’t know yet your cassette had a B-side. One that featured him.

“You got fucking lucky, is all,” you scoffed.

“Randy backed me up on it!”

“Of course he did! You’re his fucking partner! He would’ve followed you anywhere if you asked him to,” you snapped, shaking your head. You gulped down some whiskey then and locked your jaw before you met his eyes again with a glare. “And? What happened then, Beau? Was it only three guys?”

“No.” The word was almost inaudible. He shook his head with a harsh swallow. “They were meetin’ with a few cartel members there. My intel never said anything about that. When we were inside and saw what was really going on, it was already too late to get out. They made us, bullets started flyin’… They got a hold of Randy and… shot him.” A tear escaped down his cheek, his throat closing as he tried to choke out the last bit of the story. “I had to leave him there. I barely got out myself. I’m sorry, Y/N. I know this is on me.”

Your lips twitched with a bitter smile. You didn’t look at him, just rubbed your tired eyes. “Damn right it is. Get out.”

“Y/N, please–”

The storm in your eyes made him stop as you met his gaze, his useless apologies becoming stuck in his throat. “I said, get out. I ain’t asking a third time. You’re the reason my husband is dead. You’re the reason I don’t even have a body to bury. So, get the fuck out.” Like a snakebite, your words were targeted, sharp, and venomous.

You finally got out of bed and prodded towards the en-suite bathroom. The truth had been what you needed to switch the fighter inside of you back on. You knew what you wanted to do then and were determined to get it.

“Y/N–”

“Do you know what cartels do to bodies, Beau? To rivals? To law enforcement? ‘Cause I just came back from a job where we found forty-eight decapitated bodies, left to rot inside the walls of a house. Still haven’t found the heads yet. Probably never will,” you told him and stared him dead into his dark green eyes. “Ever seen that before, desperado?”

Beau bit his lips, averting his gaze. “No.”

“Yeah, didn’t think so.” You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “Now, leave. Please. Get the fuck outta my house. I don’t wanna see you anymore,” you spat and slammed the bathroom door shut behind you.

Beau then grabbed the whiskey bottle you’d left and walked out of your home. It was the first of many nights he started to drink himself to sleep, but at least it kept the nightmares temporarily at bay.

“Theodore.” Beau forced a bright smile onto his freckle-dusted face, although the stiff features could barely fool anyone. At least, they wouldn’t have fooled you.

“Beau, good to see you again.” Ted smiled and did a more convincing job of it as he waltzed into Lewis and Clark County’s Sheriff’s Department. It almost seemed like he meant it. “I was surprised when Y/N told me you got a gig as a sheriff here.”

Translation: I was surprised because you were such a fuck-up back in Texas.

Beau feigned a chuckle. “Yeah, I bet you were.”

“Hopefully, you’re givin’ the DAs here less headaches,” Ted jabbed under the disguise of friendly banter. He then turned to Jenny with that same shit-eating grin. “Your sheriff is a little troublemaker.”

Sweet Lord, Beau wanted to whack the bastard.

The blonde deputy coolly brushed the accusation off. She shrugged and playfully nudged Beau’s arm, sending the Texan attorney a smile. “I prefer him that way.”

“Hey, there she is!” Beau smiled with frazzled relief when you finally hurried into the station. A little while longer, and he definitely would’ve thrown a punch.

“Hey, Ted. Thanks for coming. How was your flight?” You greeted him with a warm smile and a quick hug.

“Good, good. Never been to Montana before,” Ted said and then let his eyes wander up and down your body. “Look at you. You look great!”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” You subtly cleared your throat. You could physically feel Beau stiffen next to you. In your periphery, you could spy a tightly clenched jaw and a few strained muscles in his neck.

“Mind if Y/N and I borrow your office, Sheriff Arlen?” Ted asked and emphasized his title. “Considering the nature of this case, I’d like to keep it as private as possible. Don’t want anything to reach Ms. Newton’s ears.”

Your hunch had been right. Several IP addresses pointed to Diane, some to public Wi-Fi’s. You and the team still needed to connect her to the other states and find out where she’d been staying there, but you could definitely trace some posts in recent weeks to her home in Montana. It was enough for an arrest warrant, but you still needed more evidence.

Additionally, it had all come together a little too easily. It seemed like a giant trap you were walking into. Diane wanted to be caught. But why?

“Why don’t I just join you? I’m sure Y/N here doesn’t mind,” Beau suggested with a tight smile and then snaked his arm around your middle, pulling you closer. “Ain’t that right, darlin’?”

Internally, you sighed a little at his obvious territorial pissing, but you were willing to throw him a bone. You stretched up and claimed his plump lips in a fervent kiss that Beau only all too happily reciprocated.

“Not at all, Sheriff. You know I always appreciate your input,” you replied with a dirty smirk at the double entendre.

As Beau looked down at you, he mouthed ‘God, I love you.’ You grinned in response.

“Happy to give it to you,” he said with another sweet peck of your lips. A triumphant and slightly cocky grin graced his lips as he looked back at Ted.

“Oh, so you two are back together?” Ted realized, his brow rising to his hairline. He’d never seen you two together but certainly had heard the whispers down in Mexico from your old task force. He’d been the DA for those cases as well. You’d never explicitly told him about you and Beau, though, even when he had tried to pry a little on those dates you went on.

“Well, I’m a hard one to quit,” Beau quipped almost proudly, like a peacock showing off his fan of feathers.

“As are cigarettes and many other vices,” Ted shot back with the same stupidly proud grin.

Translation: You’re an ass. And a failure. She deserves so much better. I’m ‘better.’ But maybe that didn't need a translation.

Beau should’ve known it was hard to out-argue a lawyer and ground his jaw. After all, he’d been married to one for many years.

You, on the other hand, shared a wide-eyed and baffled look with Jenny that bordered on amusement. You had almost gasped in shock. You hadn’t expected such a fiery reply, sure the men would stick to their Southern manners. But, oh well, everyone’s packing in fucking Texas…

“Why don’t you two go ahead? I’ll join you in a minute,” you ordered more than you earnestly proposed and shooed the two men down the hallway towards Beau’s office.

“Sure it’s such a good idea to lock those two in a room alone?” Jenny teased, her eyes lingering a little too long on Ted’s perfectly formed ass as he sauntered down the hall.

You couldn’t blame her. You had checked out Beau’s in the same breath.

“It’s only for a short time. They’re not gonna kill each other,” you laughed it off. Jenny arched a doubtful eyebrow at you. “That quickly,” you added a correction. “So, what did I miss here?” you asked and nodded towards the two men, closing the door to Beau’s office behind them. All you heard last was them talking about the recent Texans game.

Ugh, of course, they’d end up by football…

“Dick measuring contest,” Jenny supplied wryly.

“Ah, figured…”

“Well, better them than to lock Agent Y/L/N and the sheriff into the same room,” Poppernak joked with a soft chuckle as he appeared next to you and Jenny, chiming into the conversation.

You gaped at him in mock-shock. “Mo! I can’t believe you just said that,” you chided playfully.

His cheeks turned crimson red. “I’m sorry, Special Agent Y/L/N,” he apologized in a fluster.

“Mo, I told you to call me by my first name,” you reminded him with a smile. “Or I’m gonna have to start giving you silly names like Beau does.”

“Oh, I love Sheriff Arlen’s nicknames,” he quickly defended with a nervous laugh.

“Do you?” Jenny tilted her head with a questioning eyebrow.

He shrugged. “They’re clever.”

August 2020

“Old Fashioned,” you ordered with a look at the bartender, feeling Beau’s confused eyes and crinkled brow wander up to you. “Couldn’t have picked a nicer bar, huh? This place is a dump. You know that, right?”

Beau clicked his tongue and took a sip from his Ranch Water. “What are you doing here? Thought you never wanted to see me again.”

You let out a small sigh but didn’t meet his gaze. “Carla called me. Your family is worried about you.”

“I didn’t tell her where I was. How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. Carla said you haven’t been home in three days. Figured you’d gone on a bender. This is the fifth cop bar I checked out. Finally got lucky,” you said and thanked the bartender as he placed his drink in front of you. You settled down on a barstool next to Beau.

“Quite the effort. Sure I’m worth it?”

Your tongue swept over your lips. “Beau, look at me.” His forest-green eyes found yours upon your soft plea. “I’m sorry I put all that shit on you. It wasn’t fair. It’s not your fault, okay? His death isn’t on you. I know you loved him like a brother.”

“I did.” Beau took another sip of his drink. “But it is my fault. I was reckless and arrogant. We both know it.”

“It was a set-up, alright? I talked to my DEA contact. Cody said your intel was wrong. They knew you and Randy were closing in on them. They wanted to get rid of you,” you explained.

Beau smacked his lips. “I still shoulda known better. I should’ve seen it was a trap.”

“Maybe,” you admitted. You couldn’t say you would’ve done the same thing, but you knew Beau would’ve never purposely put Randy in danger if he had even the faintest idea. “But it could’ve happened to anybody. This was bigger than you knew.”

“It wouldn’t have happened to you,” he stated quietly. You couldn’t argue with that. You were more by-the-book than he was. You would’ve never gone against a superior’s order. You would’ve respected it.

“Look, just go home. Talk to your wife. Get some help,” you said. “You missed your suspension hearing, but I spoke on your behalf. Told them it wasn’t your fault. The DEA backed me. Harper’s gonna reinstate you. Just come back as soon as you’re ready.”

Beau nodded slowly. Even if he didn’t say it, you could tell he was thankful for your efforts. “I can’t go home.”

Your brow furrowed. “Why? I’m sure Carla will understand. You need to talk to someone about this. Go to therapy – and not the alcoholic kind. Losing a partner is not something you get over quickly. You need people in your corner, including your wife.”

“You mean the wife that lets criminals out on the street?” Beau’s gaze was focused on the glass in his hands. The wrinkles on your brow deepened. “The guy that shot him… Carla’s his defense attorney. Was, at least. He was supposed to do time, but two months ago, she got him paroled.” With a dark chuckle, he emptied his glass.

“Beau…” You knew he had always struggled with Carla’s job, making you sometimes wonder about their dinner conversations at home. “It ain’t her fault more than it is yours. She’s just doing her job. You know that. You’ve been together for so long, you’d think you’re used to it by now.”

Beau scoffed a chuckle and gestured to the bartender for a refill. “I was a young cop back then. Wasn’t on the job as long. I didn’t know it would bother me so much. Still lived in that hopeful bubble, I guess.”

You smiled knowingly. “You mean the ‘I didn’t think I’d see as much shit and injustice as I do now’ bubble?”

He snickered softly. “Yep, that one. Just didn’t think it’d be this hard, you know?”

“I get it. I mean, me and Carla butt heads all the time over this stuff. But we do it in a competitive fun way and then get drunk,” you said with a light chuckle. “Guess it’s different when you’re married, though, huh?”

“Yeah, it is…” he sighed.

“Still, go home. Talk to her,” you encouraged but could see your words of wisdom fell on deaf ears. “By the way, the funeral’s on Saturday.”

He turned his gaze away from his glass and found your eyes. “You need any help with that?”

“Maybe you can give a eulogy. You knew him best. I think he would’ve really liked that,” you said with a warm smile. No matter your own feelings, you knew deep down Randy would’ve wanted you to forgive his partner.

“Yeah, I can do that. Anything you need, okay?” Beau clasped your hand that laid on the bar counter and squeezed reassuringly before dropping it again.

You smiled appreciatively and teased, “Maybe show up sober. Or at least close-to.”

Beau chuckled a little. “I promise.”

You stood up from your seat then and put some cash for your drink on the counter. “Alright, I’m heading home. You need me to call you a cab?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m just gonna finish this drink, then I’ll head out, too,” he said.

“You sure? Don’t make me come back here,” you threatened playfully.

Beau laughed softly. “I won’t. Thanks for everything, Y/N. I mean it.”

You sent him a smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze on your way out. “You’re welcome. Get home safe, okay?”

However, Beau couldn’t keep any of his promises. He made it home after three more drinks and woke up on the front lawn of his house. Carla wasn’t happy when she found him in the morning as she brought Emily to school. But Beau couldn’t stop. Every time he closed his eyes, the tragic events flashed before him like a horror movie, witnessing Randy’s death in a never-ending loop. He kept seeing his partner get dragged away, heard the shot over and over again like a rain of bullets without a ceasefire.

The guilt was eating him alive. The guilt of getting his partner into this mess in the first place. Of leaving him behind. Of surviving and coming out alive when he didn’t deserve to.

So, Beau kept drinking to forget, even though he knew it was a futile endeavor. The memory would never fade, but at least it was blurred.

Your heavy breaths echoed through the small trailer. His mouth moved down the column of your throat, leaving a wet path of ravenous love bites in its wake.

“Fuck, baby,” you moaned wantonly, his grip on your flesh punishing as he kept you pressed flush against him while he devoured you on the little dining table. Your ass sat on the wooden surface, your crossed ankles locked tightly behind his muscular back.

“God, you made me so happy today,” he growled against the shell of your ear, his rising length rubbing against your core through layers of denim.

“I can see that.” You giggled, your hands dangling in his hair. “There’s no need to hate him so much, you know?”

“Says you,” Beau quipped and unzipped your jeans, eagerly pulling them off you as his mouth sucked your clavicle purple and blue. “That slimy coyote always had it out for me.”

Beau removed your panties as well, tossing them behind his shoulder where they landed in the kitchen sink. “Whoops.” He grinned charmingly but was unstoppable, freeing his throbbing dick as he shoved his jeans and boxers barely over his ass. He didn’t bother to slip out of them all the way, too impatient to wait any longer to enter you.

“Still, I’m already yours. I’ve always been yours,” you said and braced yourself on his broad shoulders as one large hand on your back pulled you closer to the edge of the table. His other hand grabbed his cock, twisting his fist along the hard, long shaft a few times before he glided his cockhead through your slick folds.

“Not always.” With one harsh thrust, he pushed inside you, your tight walls fighting to make room for him and adjust to his stretch.

You gasped at the pleasurable burn that coursed through your body and ignited every sizzling nerve. He dropped his head to your shoulder, giving both of you some time to get used to each other. You could tell you were in for a wilder ride tonight. You always loved when he fucked you rough and hard. There was something raw and animalistic about the need in his hypnotizing green eyes.

Beau then claimed your lips with one fervent kiss, enough of a spark to cause a wildfire. He met your gaze, hands gingerly cupping your cheeks. “But I love that you’re mine now. And I’m sure as hell gonna make you mine tonight, darlin’.”

You crashed your lips against his, your kisses frenzied and untamed as his hips began to slam into you. His pounds into your pussy were relentless as you swallowed every inch of him. You gripped him tight, already feeling your first orgasm bloom. It accumulated like dark, violent storm clouds on the horizon, forecasting roaring thunder and heavy rainfall.

“Oh God! Fuck, baby!” You screamed as your climax tore through you like a hurricane, your cunt gushing on his cock and pulsing around him. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades and scratched down his back as you came undone.

Beau groaned into your ear, squeezing his eyes shut as he barely held on himself. But he didn’t let up and kept up his furious pace, not ready to stop yet. “Shit, keep doing that. You’re so fucking tight, Y/N,” he grunted against your skin, your sensitive flesh barely withstanding his ruthless pumps. “Want you to come again, darlin’.”

With his declaration, his hand slipped between your sweat-clad bodies. You came close to losing your mind as he thumbed furiously at your clit, the stars already starting to twinkle in front of your eyes. You could feel yourself get shoved to the edge once more, staring down the steep cliffs of white-hot ecstasy.

Your mind was consumed by need, his grip on your hips bruising as you exploded. You cried out raucously, your whole body quaking in his hold upon your eruption, the aftershocks so powerful they could cause cracks in your bones.

Beau spilled his seed deep inside of you, his body stuttering in rhythm with yours as your earthquake took him down with you. Hazy gazes met each other with lazy smiles as ragged breaths mingled.

“Fuck, that was good. I think that one might make it into our Top Ten.” Beau chuckled gravelly and placed a gentle kiss on your temple.

“Hmm, not sure. We have a few greatest hits.” You giggled and bit down on your lower lip with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. “Can I tell you something?”

Beau cupped your cheeks, thumbs caressing the heated and rosy skin as he lifted your gaze. “Anything.”

“Just between us, you’re the best lover I ever had,” you confessed with a wide grin. The corners of his mouth rose to match yours.

“Well, between us, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. You’re it, darlin’. You know that, right? You’re the love of my life,” Beau revealed, making you smile brighter than you ever had before.

“I’m not sure about the sex, but this moment, right here, is probably gonna make it into the Top Ten,” you said softly as a few tears stung your eyes.

“Good.” Beau smiled and pecked your forehead.

The buzzing of a phone shifted your attention. You recognized it as yours, and Beau was quick to retrieve it from your jeans pocket in the pile of clothes on the floor.

“It’s Jenny,” you told him before picking up. “Hello… What?! Uh-huh, we’ll be right there.”

Beau’s brow furrowed as he watched your features flicker through an array of emotions. “Bad news?”

“Uhm, honestly, I don’t know,” you said and swallowed some of your confusion down, gathering your thoughts. “Jenny said Diane just walked into the station and gave herself up. She is ready to confess but only wants to talk to us.”

“Us? As in us two?” Beau’s eyes narrowed. You nodded. “Well, that doesn’t sound fishy at all,” he commented wryly.

“Yup, I don’t like it.”

Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds – JUNE 26

A lot of revelations and foreboding in this one... 👀 Also, I just love having Beau say the word "coyotes" for some reason 😂

Join the TAG LIST here! 🌌 Wanna sponsor my caffeine addiction? ☕️

Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @autistic-gothic

Everything Beau Arlen: @snowayumi

Polaris Series: @corruptedcruiser @spnfamily-j2

[jetlaggingbehind]

Whooo I really am writing that bulleted list about mistholme s4e11 bc owie! under the cut:

Throughout this I'm going to continue to call guide guide even if that's not technically its name, mostly cause it proved too confusing for me to keep track of after a while, ill probably get used to it eventually tho

Starting off easy with the interdepartmental turmoil lol

Retrieval bro why u gotta be so rude

'does the guide get a vote' I MEAN YOU'D THINK SO AFTER ALL THIS TIME LMAO

The wish engine is just so wild man though I do think what you wish for and what you get will be very different, especially when you consider what it did when asked to not exist

Research's resentment is palpable D:

Side note I like her va's voice it is very nice :)

what I wouldn't give for a qna episode during a season break with all the vas

The museum is really struggling to keep itself together after everything nowadays, u gotta wonder what it's like for the patrons lol

Tbh this was such a plot heavy episode but it didn't feel full of exposition, which is great

Lmao ma'am did you forget abt the recording you requested??

Idk if we already knew that restoration is called diana, but either way neat!

Damn it retrieval you've jinxed it

Here we start the emotional damage :'(

Beast kinda forgot abt its curator story and I didn't notice until I relistened 😫

IT'S SO SUS HERE HELP

The guide puts so much trust in beast and it hurts me so much that it's misplaced get guide some more non abusive friends 2022

the voice actingggggg u can hear guides fear it's so aghhhhh

'Won't be happening anytime soon' AAAAAA???????

He broke out the villain speech O_o

OH DANG

OH DANG

IT'S NAME IS MISTHOLME

IT'S THE WHOLE MUSEUM

HELP

AGHFJDDJKGKVKDKDKJSEFCH

HOW DARE YOU APOLOGISE U ASS

'you just see a beast' IT SAID YOU WERE ITS FRIEND HOW COULD YOU

THE FACT THAT GUIDES DEHUMANISATION OF ITSELF WAS THE CRUX OF THE PROBLEM BECAUSE IT DIDINT THINK IT HAD A NAME OR MEANINGFUL IDENTITY HURTS SO MUCH

IT MADE AN IDENTITY FOR ITSELF WITHOUT KNOWING AND HAD IT RIPPED AWAY BY BEAST PAINNNNN

IT'S TAKEN CONTROL OF GUIDE AAAAAAAGH

IT'S 'FRIEND' IS THE MAN WITH THE VOICE?????????

(though I have to say that switching TMWTV's gender was a genius move in making me be completely blindsided by this reveal bc I hadn't even considered him a possibility..... dang it's just so smart)

also im so angy that we started off w an antagonistic character, thought it had some good in it, then it turns out it actually was antagonistic... emotional turmoil :’(

Stares at the beast backstory episode that is now also a TMWTV backstory episode

*flashbacks to hello jon apologies for the deception*

(was it a reference? It would make me laugh through the pain it it actually was)

It's completely loyal to TMWTV..... it knows what it's doing is wrong and is still doing it???

me, sobbing: beast you absolute bitch we all trusted you we thought you were cool

OOH I DON'T LIKE HOW BEAST HAS CONTROL OF GUIDE AND TECHNICALLY BY EXTENSION THE ENTIRE MUSEUM

IT KILLED EAGLE OH LAWD

IT'S GONNA KILL THE REST OF THE TEAM TOO AAAAAAA

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?? THAT BEAST GAVE GUIDE PERMISSION TO SPEAK AND IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING??????

(probably it was in shock understandable tbh)

WE THOUGH THIS WHOLE BUNCH OF PPL WERE GONNA BE PART OF THE FUTURE ENSEMBLE CAST HOW DARE IT

End notes:

obviously this bodes terribly for the museum– beast literally having guide under its complete control is absolutely horrible, which gets worse when you consider how much information guide holds since it straight up knows restorations and eagles names for starters. adding in how its only just become considered anything close to a colleague/friend to the triple r departments, this whole situation is gonna give it even more trust issues

both plots were built on heavily, on one hand narrative wise this was a phenomenal episode, on the other hand me very sad D':

also this season is spelling 'IRRESOLUTIO', presumably irresolution. foreboding 😬

[sealmonger]

Wh- it cut off some of my stufffff????!!!!! Welp I'm rewriting its now!

Stayed in hospital: Yeah, most of the Just Varian Thing Chat knows about this one! Sis you the best! She didnt have her "emotional support sis" as she likes to call me! I was bit or stung by an ant or bee or something like that and was in the hospital for a day and a half or around that much, and the vitals checker kept falling off and it was all like "Beep beep, she's dying call the doc!" And I was all "I'm NoT dEaD!!!!!"Heh. That made some ER nurses confused and made my Daddy and me laugh! We needed that, it was one of the most scariest, most traumatizing times of my life, so far. I maybe he exaggerating with the traumatized part but it was scary. Sigh. Other than that I've just been for a possibly bone bruised heel and my middle and ring fingers ( don't remember which hand heh been a while!😄😊) being shut in a kinda heavy door jam, heheh!

Favorite fruits: Bananas, blueberries, balckberries, and strawberries have been growing on me as of late( as of late sounds funny😄) at least the candy versions!😂😄

Favorite color: Purple and yellow are fighting for first place!😂

Last text: I don't really text so I'll just do my last [tumblr] message!( Love the bracket thing by the way!😄😄😄😄😂) "Zoe is barking at you" My grandparents dog was being impatient!😂

Coffee or tea:Neither? I like water! And Kool-Aid! First gets me hydrated and happy and second gets Mr hydrated and hyper!😂😄💓that is supposed to be me vibrating cause of Kool-Aid!😂😅😁😂

Favorite pie: Either apple or pumpkin.... Probly apple!🍎🍰🎃

Favorite pizza: Technically still a pie but ok! Plain cheese! Preferably with a few different cheeses!��

Cats or dogs: I've been around dogs more, but I like them both equally! My grandparents had a car when I was really little, but he died before my memories came in all the way so I don't remember him very much.... He was very sweet! Yeah, I think I love them both equally!🐶🐱🐱🐺

Favorite time of year: Fall, with winter in the second place! I like the fall temperatures, and all the pretty colors too! Winter cause again it's not blazing hot outside and you can put on a coat of you're cold! With heat you just sit there suffering! And I have bad spring allergies that carry over into summer sooooo, yeah fall! Fall first, winter second!

Met a star: Not that I know of! Other than Mickey and the gang at Disney!🐭🐹🐁! 😄😊 My Daddy might have seen Ryan Stratis (American Ninja Warrior) when he (Daddy) was driving by an Academy Sports + Outdoors!

Flown in a helicopter: Ok first off, I love how some of y'all forgot to put the "in" in the title for this one and that makes this one so much different! But no I haven't, too afraid of heights to do that, especially cause most of them don't have doors!😅😬😐😂☺ nope!

Been on TV: Not that I know of! I don't think I've done anything TV worthy! And I hope I'm not being followed around and/ or being filmed without my permission!

Broken a leg: Nope! Just the aforementioned possible bone bruise on my heel and minor-ly injuring my fingers in a closing door jam!😁😅😅😁

Seen a ghost: Nope, unless you count the one my sis did👻(that was hilarious Invidoodle! You had me cackling!!!😂😂😂) the one I just did, a boo(as in King Boo) or Danny Phantom I don't think so!!!!

Been sick in a taxi: Yes.... We were coming back from Disney World, and we had gotten out of the airport and were in a taxi takin us home. And we had all caught the flu or something(this was in like 2012 so no Corona) and we were all feeling kinda under the weather, and I was stressed, we were trying to catch up to Daddy who had went ahead to get our bags, aaannnd I puked all over this nice guys taxi car! I felt really bad for doing it, and I wanted to apologize, but my family just wanted me out of the way so I'm not really sure if I got to tell the guy I was SOOOO SORRY (insert Overly Dramatic Wander here) for getting sick all in the back left seat of his taxi cab...! Heh!😅😰😨😶😖😵😮😟😐😬😀😅😅😅😅😅

And that's it I guess! I tag.... @shortand-angrychild @taylort1010 @quackyduckydoodoo @cinn-a-mom @whitecatindisguise @sailordiamondkitty and anyone else who wants to! (i would've tagged my sis @theinvisibledoodlewizard but she already did it that's why I'm in this tag game! Ok, herds part two!

Question Tag

Tagged by @uselessvalshit Thanks so much for tagging me! （＿ε＿）

Relationships: Nope ┐(´ー｀)┌

Breakups: Haha, zero ( I’m almost 24 so this is funny) (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

Kids: Nein. But I always wanted 4 daughters <’D ( But do not want to give birth to that many lol )

Sibling(s): Yes! ( First “Yes” in this tag XD ) I have one year older sister who has two kids now - so you can imagine the pressure I have from parents :|

Pets: 3 cats and 5 tarantulas 🕷️

Surgeries: Nope (・ωｰ)～☆

Tattoos: No, but my friend will make me one soon ( I hope! ) (≧∀≦)

Countries you’ve been to: I live in Poland, and I was in Deutschland (Berlin) and Czech (Praga) (￣ω￣)

Been on an airplane: No, but If I will have a chance I will definitely do it 

Been on an ambulance: Never

Karaoke: I hate my voice, I hate singing so… you already know the answer XD

Ice skating: Yes <3 I like it and I do it from time to time in winter and I always forget how to skate ( ˘･з･)

Cruise: I would say yes, but only short cruise on river

Driven on a motorcycle: Not by myself but my father have a motorcycle so he gave me a ride

Ridden a horse: Yes! When I was young I used to learn how to ride frequently, now I stopped but my sister has horses so I can always go to her for a ride

Stayed in a hospital: Too many times, I was a sick child lol I have asthma and arrhythmia so…

Favorite fruit(s): I don’t like fruits that much. I love vegetables more but if I had to choose it would be grapefruit, I think.

Favorite color(s): I have too many! Black, burgundy, blue, purple!

Last text: “XDD” my reaction to TikTok my friend send me 

Coffee or tea: Coffee!!

Favorite pie: Cheesecake counts? haha (´∀｀)♡

Favorite pizza: With pineapple!

Cats or dogs: Both. I hate that drama between cats and dogs lovers  ಠ⌣ಠ

Favorite time of the year: Hard to say.. summertime I think.

Met a star: nope

Flown in a helicopter: Never, but I would love to!

Been on tv: I think I may appeared in local TV in the background at some point XD

Broken a leg: I never broke anything… yet (¬､¬)

Seen a ghost:  No, but I love horror stuff. I have a pillow with Pennywise (｀▽´)

Been sick in a taxi: I hate to be in cars. I always feel dizzy and had a headache. And I surprisingly I never thought that I may have motion sickness…

It was a really interesting tag! Thank you again!  ♡ My tags: @emilystaysgold  @i-prefer-the-term-antihero  @theirishneko  @andeborg  @awkward-tabi Of course you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ~~