#cause she so believed her friend is back
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cheemken · 5 days ago
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I'm gonna be so fucking ill what if she heard Tuesday and thought it was Bonnette, so she had to rush back to Texas to see if her friend was still alive or not oh your honour they make me so sick I'm gonna cry
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absolutelyzoned · 2 months ago
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i NEED to yap about personal shit i gotta get it out there somewhere
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nonsensechemicals · 18 days ago
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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clownjacket · 9 months ago
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago
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plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned
can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3
mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear
#snap chats#originally i wrote 'funniest character alive' and then remembered. HAH im so funny //throws up//#all my fave charas know how to do is get crazy on planes over men they love its disgusting#utterly hilarious cause after making the last post i went on twitter and they mentioned ANOTHER plane scene i throw up over#diff franchise so not important it is just SIMPLY funny how coincidences work and further confirming I Have A Type#BUT NO BACK TO MINE IT'S STILL SO FUCKIN FUNNY I HAVE TO REWATCH IT#i have to replay it .... all of y3 ...#if anyone remembers my friend from college and how we used to stream she asked me if we could stream#and i was like 'girl i havent streamed in Fuck Ever huh' and yk what maybe i'll stream y3 with her#at the very least ill stream y3 for myself ... legend mode .....#ive beaten y3 legend mode one (1) time and it was the worst experience of my life because if its not shadow the hedgehog#i am not good at the game i am playing !!!!!!!!!!! it'll be funny tho#i remember wanting to do a y3 drinking run but i told myself id stop drinking so i simply think. i will substitute drinking for hot sauce#its an idea im ironing out and i also have to like. properly set up a twitch- or maybe ill stream through youtube#ive always liked youtube streaming more ... at least as a viewer#these are all details for plans i will not be enacting literally any time soon can i stay on topic#the topic being i love mine. i love that plane scene forever the casual Whats Goin On Here :)#and he is the embodiment of :) in that scene casue :] is gen friendly but :) has an underlying aura of Im Going To Kill You#thats him in that scene. and i love him. for the third time. im ending this post now forever and always stan mine#if and whenever y3k comes out i cant wait to see !! but i personally believe that's well and away from us at this point#not impossible since they did mention it but yk. i dont think itll happen within the next year or two#maybe next five or ten realistically. if that jVLAEKJVLAEKJ ok bye fr now
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deepseawave · 6 months ago
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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sage-way · 4 days ago
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i have never once been the line leader and i think it slightly traumatized me in some way
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unwritten-fanfiction · 8 months ago
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I did a fanart
There's no path of trampled flowers around so I guess they all flew down while in whimsical laying position idk, just don't think about it lol
#cheshire crossing#fanart#Cheshire Crossing fanart#Does Wendy look dramatic?#I tried to make her look sad/not thinking happy thoughts but also in a whimsical victorian girl fairytale aestedic kinda way#and in the Wizard of Oz movie Dorthey lays in a similar position to the one she's in here in a field of flowers#And Alice is supposed to have her Disney-falling-down-the-rabbit-hole silloette#Wendy didn't really lay down in her story I don't think#at least not that i can remember#but then i noticed she does lay down in Cheshire Crossing#on her bed#its like the first thing she does when getting settled in#but by the time i realized this i'd already drawn all those flowers#so... many... flowers...#Wendy and Dorthy are accepting how sucky their lives have been being gaslit and borderline torchered in Victorian asylums for years#(they seemed a little in dinial in CC)#while Alice is just happy she finally has friends who believe her and aren't torturing her in a Victorian asylum#get it?#its like the opposites of their worst habits or something#they're free to feel their feelings at Cheshire Crossing#that's what the daisies symbolize#btw why did Sarah Scribbles draw Cheshire Crossing (the building and its grounds) the exact same as Alice's childhood house/mansion?#it even has the same green plants on both#No one ever mentions it!#And it's not like that in the og artwork#why did Alice never mention this is her old house?#or did she just materialize near the future Cheshire Crossing when coming back from Wonderland?#But then why was her dad walking through some random field that wasn't his?#I should probably make this its own post#but I'm leaving this rant in here cause I think it's funny
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shigussy · 7 months ago
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the amount of pedo youtubers i watched growing up was insane but its actually really worrying that i had crushes on most of them and im so so thankful that my interest in most of them disappeared before they got exposed bc i would've lost my mind which did happen once with miniladd
#also i literally met one#i met bryanstars when i was 14 i also met some other members of mde and damon fizzy but LORD#i also talked to him online before that as well publicly and privately and im so glad nothing bad happened in those messages bc i was#already having such a shitty time as a teen and i would've been pushed over the edge#im not bring this up outta nowhere i saw a video about this general topic on tiktok and didnt wanna leave an essay in the comments but#needed to rant#also i was actually so pissed off about miniladd liking miniladds i was obsessed with his videos in hs and i took it as a personal betrayal#i was always watching vanoss and his friends videos growing up so i had spent so long watching him not the longest ive ever watched a#youtuber(that goes to phillip lester who i found on complete accident when i was literally 5/6)#i did get groomed by a few older men online tho i Was of the kik generation#one of them was my bsfs bf who was a junior when we were freshman who would message me that he had a secret gf that didnt want to go public#he also would threaten to kill himself if i took too long answering him back so i was on my phone 24/7 basically and was stressed out so bad#combined with transphobic and homophobic bullying at school caused me to have a public meltdown in the class that held all my bullies and#had to convince my parents to enrole me in homeschooling after which ultimately also fucked up my relationship with 1st gf who was also#manipulating me at the time and also trying get me to make out with her while we cosplayed as levi and eren from aot#which i was uncomfortable with considering i wasnt an aot fan and also was aware of the age difference#i did get back with her after this and she did break up with me again after and i probably would've gotten back with her a 3rd time but#i never saw her message asking to talk again bc she messaged my old fb after my bsf made it an advertisement for the bee movie#i don't believe in a higher power but something was definitely protecting me bc i didn't see that message until TWO YEARS LATER#this went in so many directions#im tired#tw pedophila mention#pedophillia mention#pedophillia tw#suicide tw
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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Darius 🤝 Willow
Beefing with the blights in complex, somewhat homoerotic ways
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#willow park#darius deamonne#this has always been my vision of their dynamic/how they parallel each other#IF we are to believe the dana gallery nucleus art that positions them as parallels#it's like. if darius was confident and sunny and bright as a teen but had problems showing vulnerability#possibly afraid of losing status/respect#then that lack of vulnerability followed him into adulthood making him the aloof person we know today cause he never had his ftf breakdown#BUT ALSO. i think abt this too. blights are just like oops! I'm gonns give this person massive abandonment issues!#this will make me feel bad too!! i will suffer because of this but i don't know other ways to live!!!#(at least. that's how i envision the darius/alador breakup i know it's very vague in canon)#(but like. compare how happy they were as kids to how miserable they can both be as adults. they are worse off for this)#i think it'd be neat if willow was the person who nudged darius back towards alador#bc she knows what it's like being hung up on someone you're convinced hates you. it sucks!!#and she's so so forgiving as long as she feels like the person she's forgiving is actually going to put in effort to change#(hence how after Amity follows through on her promise from understanding willow to not let Boscha bully willow anymore-#-IN wing it like witches THEN we see amity get to be a part of the best friend montage. she followed through and that proves she's trying)#(and then obviously hunter stuck his neck out for them with nothing to gain after her hurt them and that showed her that he can learn-#-and change for the better and hence she gave him that opening if he wanted it)#(it's still his responsibility to be a good friend but she'll try if he will. willows forgiving but she's not a doormat)#(and i feel like she wants to know the ppl in her life see her as someone worth improving for bc of her self worth issues)#ANYWAY that was a long winded way of saying she'd have a valuable perspective to lend to darius who seems to be similar to her in many ways#anyway what if i cried abt them
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moomoomooing · 1 year ago
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im home for break and within a night and day i was blasted with all the qualities of my family i escaped by being in college, of which that i never fully appreciated being away from
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infizero · 1 year ago
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im gonna go fucking insane i need to know more about kris' past with the bunker NOWWWWWW
#i am personally definitely of the belief that the bunker is where dess disappeared and kris saw it happen#and/or saw Something In There that scared tf outta them#and i definitely think its likely that kris was maybe the one to suggest they all go in there and so they feel guilty for dess disappearing#and noelle tries not to but she resents them a little. and thats why their friendship became so distant/strained#<- it being '''''kris' fault''''' isnt necessary for this to happen tho ofc#but man. can you imagine being a kid and you're exploring this creepy dark bunker with your friend and you two's cool older siblings#and you and dess got separated from the others but its fine. dess has her bat she can protect you two#and then suddenly you turn your back for a second and the bat falls to the ground. and shes gone#and you never see her again.#and THEN YOUR DAD GETS FIRED FROM HIS JOB FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND HER AND IT CAUSES YOUR PARENTS TO GET FUCKING DIVORCED#AND YOU WERE RIGHT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING#(you couldnt have. you were a kid)#like CHRIST dawg no wonder kris is fucking depressed#and guilt from that definitely would fit in with the idea that maybe kris summoned us willingly to take control of their life#because they believe that they're ruining it. arugurhghh#god i just arhgahghrh I GOTTA KNOW I GOTTA KNOW MORE ABOUT KRIS' PAST AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE BUNKER AND DESS' DISAPPEARANCE AND.#AHGHRHGRUGHRGHRHGRHRHG#DELTARUNE. (HEAD IN HANDS)#serena.txt
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guiltyblogging · 1 year ago
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Sorry in advance. My tags lost the plot. Take note and get some sleep, kids. Lack of sleep rots your brain, I'm proof.
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#my imput is to stop pitting kids against each other#slag off a creator#slag off a book#but saying x cheese is the better cheese because its changes one mind on what cheese should be#and saying the ham isnt a very good cheese because their a ham#yes that is a raised like a pig for slaughter reference#an abused boy who goes from one abusive old man to another abusive very much older emotionally manipulative abusive old man#will not have the same priorities after fighting a war and dieing#then a kids who grew up with a loving family and friend(s) who knows what a healthy relationship looks like and fights for those who are his#i did not make it through either book which makes me a bad 90s kid and have had my kids excitedly reading both lots.#neither understand books have authors yet and still believe they magically appear#you know like babies#mummy just glares menacingly at a computer. lots of crying about hating computeters. and 9months later they get to read a story.#insane ramblings of a uni student who just wants to sleep#sleep has yet to befriend me.#sorry if this doesn't make any sense#i think to sum up. i dont understand why people are comparing books by slagging off the author.#i want people to read what i write and get emersed with the story#not overly critise it and go well she was an overly traumatised individual#a book like a child will display all the bits you dont like about yourself but will grow and change and live so it ends up so far from...#...your own personal views.#do you think jk likes what her story became? like it was really popular with those she doesn't share views with#people have changes it into something of their own#thats left her trying to back peddle to appease to get more money#you made a stubborn woman try to go against her own views#look how much power you can have#right i should sleep#sorry for any offense i may cause 'cause ive lost the point i was trying to make. i shouldn't be allowed my phone after 2am
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teaboot · 12 days ago
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One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)
And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".
And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try
I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else
And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T
But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me
And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"
And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
And like
It just sorta
Kept going?
And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands
And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting
And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting
So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie
and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"
So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."
So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me
The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment
But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her
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some-random-fandom-chick · 5 months ago
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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sheila--e · 11 months ago
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the way Sheila's described as both being covered in scars and also being a very self destructive person with little care for herself and a desire to die for a good cause (or a very long way of saying she's got suicidal tendencies yet masks it as a form of courage) makes me think she self harms. it wouldn't be out of this world tbh. coping mechanism adopted from her self hatred and a need of punishing herself for being a horrible person. she doesn't know where to put all of those chaotic feelings, and the only way she can redirect it is to herself. not out of character frankly.
#fugo.txt#self harm tw#i always loved how JoJo's is very quick in pointing that suicide is not a way of redeeming yourself or the righteous thing to do#araki has always been very vocal about subversing this thought in the japanese consciousness#and i think kouhei captured that escence perfectly with her. because at a surface she seems like the perfect example of the trope#she wants to die for a righteous cause that she believes in wholeheartedly. her courage rests in her willingness to give her life up#but when you look closer she seems almost... pathetic. doesn't she?#she wants death because she's scared of the next step. horrified by the thought she will have to face someone whos more righteous and just#...better. that thin veil of courage is actually just a lack of self preservation due to complete and utter apathy.#the cause she supposedly believes in and is ready to give up her body and soul to... she just parrots back what shes been told.#when you look close she's just a scared dangerously apathetic and depressed young girl. and that last part is very important#because ive been neglecting the most important part in this puzzle. she's just 15. she's just a little teenager#of course shes scared. of course she does all of this. she's just a fucking kid man.#thats why i think self harm on her part wouldn't be out of the blue#another thing which in the surface seems strong. when its just the product of indescribable emotional pain and anguish#and having absolutely NO support system and NO outlet#because lets remember she literally had no friends. she had nothing. when i mean nothing its fucking nothing#i think Giorno knows what she's going through because he was so close to becoming like her.#though his way of going about changing her mind was certainly... Brutish. lol#giorno vc can't wait to see how Sheila E will come outta this one!! *Sheila E tries to commit suicide* oh.#i love her so much. i get you girl its okay
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