#had to convince my parents to enrole me in homeschooling after which ultimately also fucked up my relationship with 1st gf who was also | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shigussy · 3 months

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the amount of pedo youtubers i watched growing up was insane but its actually really worrying that i had crushes on most of them and im so so thankful that my interest in most of them disappeared before they got exposed bc i would've lost my mind which did happen once with miniladd

#also i literally met one #i met bryanstars when i was 14 i also met some other members of mde and damon fizzy but LORD #i also talked to him online before that as well publicly and privately and im so glad nothing bad happened in those messages bc i was #already having such a shitty time as a teen and i would've been pushed over the edge #im not bring this up outta nowhere i saw a video about this general topic on tiktok and didnt wanna leave an essay in the comments but #needed to rant #also i was actually so pissed off about miniladd liking miniladds i was obsessed with his videos in hs and i took it as a personal betrayal #i was always watching vanoss and his friends videos growing up so i had spent so long watching him not the longest ive ever watched a #youtuber(that goes to phillip lester who i found on complete accident when i was literally 5/6)#i did get groomed by a few older men online tho i Was of the kik generation #one of them was my bsfs bf who was a junior when we were freshman who would message me that he had a secret gf that didnt want to go public #he also would threaten to kill himself if i took too long answering him back so i was on my phone 24/7 basically and was stressed out so bad #combined with transphobic and homophobic bullying at school caused me to have a public meltdown in the class that held all my bullies and #had to convince my parents to enrole me in homeschooling after which ultimately also fucked up my relationship with 1st gf who was also #manipulating me at the time and also trying get me to make out with her while we cosplayed as levi and eren from aot #which i was uncomfortable with considering i wasnt an aot fan and also was aware of the age difference #i did get back with her after this and she did break up with me again after and i probably would've gotten back with her a 3rd time but #i never saw her message asking to talk again bc she messaged my old fb after my bsf made it an advertisement for the bee movie #i don't believe in a higher power but something was definitely protecting me bc i didn't see that message until TWO YEARS LATER #this went in so many directions #im tired #tw pedophila mention #pedophillia mention #pedophillia tw #suicide tw

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