#cause like writing a season finale to potentially be your series finale is like a pretty common thing i think

[m-feys]

they were like we killed off our main guy, lets wrap it up guys and I just have to wonder what it was like watching it in real time???? Nightmarish?? I assume. Like I'm not even sure the writers were certain they would get renewed like were they like well if it doesnt get continued that will just be how it ends. AHEM?

[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “15 Minutes” (9/?) Author:  @ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Master Chief John-117/Reader, Halo the series Summary: You're in peril but don't be afraid, help is near. Series: How to date a Spartan (without even trying) Rating:  T (PG13) Length: 2,568 (this chapter, 22,261 total so far) Spoilers: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. Though we began with the events of Halo 1x06, there will be no more show spoilers. We are still firmly seated in the AU Warthog, merrily driving out to places where there’s only a passing nod to canon. 😉 Trigger warning: claustrophobia Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N:  Text is both here in this post or available at AO3, however you like to read. Halo season 2 has finally arrived! However, this fic continues to zip along in the AU Party Warthog, so, while we began with season 1 way back when (and you’ll see a few more things from s1 along the way 😉), we’ll not be venturing into s2 territory at all. Unless s2 is going to take some verrrrry interesting twists, lol! Chapter 10 is in progress by hand but I hope to have it ready soon. 🤞😣🤞 The tags have been updated for hurt/comfort starting with this chapter. If you read, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @pinheadbanger​ @mysardencut​ @laurenstacy610​ @sporadicbelievernightmare​ @ultrablackwidower​ @bxmxtx​ @jellotherelol

If you would like to be tagged in my John/Reader fics, just let me know! I also write John/Kai, John/Cortana and Kai/male Reader, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. If you would like to be removed from the taglist, also feel free to let me know, no harm, no foul. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

Trigger warning again: claustrophobia If you need to avoid the actual scene, skip the entire first section but there will be a lot of mentions of it again through the rest of the chapter, just so you're aware. I don't want to cause any distress to anyone so if you'd like a recap of what happens in this chapter, feel free to contact me here and I'm happy to oblige so you can stay in-the-know without reading something that could trigger a bad reaction. Stay safe, my friends! 🤗

You tried to gasp in a breath but there was a weight pinning you down. Smoke burned your lungs and your eyes. Your left arm couldn't move but you were able to bring your right hand up to wipe your face, trying to clear your vision. The only light in the rubble came from a shower of sparks a few feet away, emitting from a panel half-ripped from the wall. There was very little to orientate yourself by.

"Hello?" you tried to call but you couldn't take a deep enough breath to yell. The muffled ring in your ears told you that at least one of your eardrums had ruptured.

Evaluate, you thought in the tone you used when triaging patients, shoving down a wave of panic. You tried to squeeze out from under whatever was pressed across your back. No good, too much weight.

There wasn't a tremendous amount of pain but you worried at the numbness from your waist down, behind whatever was restraining you.

Evaluate.

You tested moving your legs, your feet, your toes. It felt strange but yes, you had movement.

Spinal cord potentially compromised but not severed, you diagnosed as clinically as possible.

Something overhead gave an alarming groan.

Alert help. Report your position.

"Hello? I'm by the crane operator booth. Can anyone hear me?"

You couldn't get the volume you wanted and you automatically tried to inhale deeper. You couldn't and had to fight another wave of panic. The animal part of your brain wanted to claw the twisted metal of the deck, trying to squirm free, but when you twitched, something above you groaned again.

You had no way to know how perilous the collapsed structure was. A wrong move could bring it all down.

A fresh wave of smoke irritated your nose and you coughed weakly. From far away, you heard the muffled sound of a woman saying your rank and last name.

"Here," you choked out. "I'm here."

A blue light shimmered a few feet away, the lower half of a blue-tinted woman, her upper body phased through the rubble. Then she shrank until she fit the space, adjusting like a camera lens. A hologram.

She repeated your rank and last name. "We have your location," she said, your damaged hearing distorting her voice. "Sit tight, a rescue crew is on their way."

You tried to respond but the smoke triggered more coughing, so you nodded.

"I'll stay with you for as long as the holo-emiter holds," she said, gesturing towards the ruined wall panel that continued to spark.

"Thank you," you managed to say. "Casualties?"

She glanced up and away as if receiving new information. "Reports coming in of injuries but no fatalities. Your alert gave enough time for almost everyone to get clear."

"Good." You made yourself slow your breathing down, taking shallow breaths since you couldn't take deeper ones. For a moment, your head swam and it felt like the floor tipped. Your fingers scratched for a hold on the crumpled metal.

The sound of your rank and name cut through the terror. "You're all right," the woman assured you. "You're not falling. Try to stay still. Silver Team will be back on site in a few more minutes. John will be here soon."

It gave you something to focus on other than bring trapped. The way she knew that the mention of John would comfort you, that she didn't call him Master Chief like most people did, even the mannerism of how she'd looked away, like someone was speaking in her ear...

"Your name wouldn't be Ms. Classified, would it?" you asked haltingly and tried to smile.

"That's... not inaccurate," she said and maybe it was your blurry vision but you could've sworn she gave you a fond smile, like she knew you. "I'm not supposed to tell my name."

You tried to say it was all right but couldn't draw enough breath.

"Ah, screw it," she said. "What are they going to do, fire me? My name is Cortana."

You must've blacked out because the next thing you knew, she was kneeling next to you, her small holographic hand resting atop your outstretched arm as she repeated your rank and name.

If you could get a breath, you needed a good, solid breath. Your chest instinctively fought to expand but couldn't beneath the pressure bearing down on your back. Something above you slid and the pressure abruptly worsened. You clawed, you fought, you struggled to breathe. To live.

"John, get here now! The support beam is failing!"

"Not his fault," you tried to say. "Tell him. Not his--"

Metal screamed and everything went dark.

You woke, grasping at nothing. You still couldn't get a deep breath but this time you were on your back and it felt like someone had laced a corset brutally tight around you.

"Easy there. You're all right," said a deep voice.

Your vision swam and then Spartan Vannak-134 appeared out from the dim lighting. You were still clawing at the air, trying to sit up, and he caught your hand a little awkwardly in his much larger ones.

"Where?" you gasped.

"You're back on Reach, in medical."

Once he said it, details emerged like a black and white picture filling in with color: the beeps of the monitors, the distinctive antiseptic smell. Your hearing was still deadened but not as much as before, meaning they had already begun healing therapies on your eardrums.

Anything you might've wanted to say dissolved like sugar on your tongue before the words could be spoken. Your head seemed too full. I'm drugged, you thought and that was the last thing you knew for a while.

Voices drew you from the murky depths and you tried to open your eyes but couldn't.

"Hold her hand," Vannak said in a quiet rumble. "She likes that."

A new hand gently folded around yours and your fingers instinctively gripped hold.

You woke, feeling the phantom press of metal bearing down on you, forcing the air from your lungs. You tried to sit up, your limbs flailed, uncoordinated and leaden. A second hand closed around yours and a feminine voice began to softly sing, a lullaby in a language you didn't recognize.

The room was blurry but you caught a glimpse of red hair -- Spartan Riz-028. You went under once more, dreaming of music that soothed your fears.

Later, there was a new voice to lure you up from the sticky darkness.

"Poor little thing. She looks so small."

"She'll heal. Hold her hand, it helps."

At some point, you jolted awake to find your hand cradled carefully within Kai's.

"Hey," she said, sitting up straighter in the chair next to the bed. "You need anything?"

Your head felt less stuffed with cotton than before but now that cotton seemed to have been transferred to your mouth. "Water?" you croaked.

She jumped up and returned shortly, carrying a cup with a straw in it. You intended to sit up but a searing pain in your ribs immediately convinced you that was a bad idea and you let her help you by holding the straw to your lips.

"Slowly," she advised.

Once you'd taken a couple of sips, you mumbled your thanks then promptly passed out.

You thought you'd closed your eyes for a brief moment but when they fluttered open, it wasn't Kai sitting in the chair, holding your hand.

As soon as John knew you were awake, he was on his feet, carefully brushing the fingertips of his free hand along the curve of your cheek.

You mouthed his name.

"Rest," he said. "I'm here. You're safe."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you truly felt as if you were. Your mind let go.

"And how's our favorite mech, the Hero of the Pit?"

"That's not a very heroic name," you confessed, smiling as Maria and then Jamie entered medical.

You were sitting on the side of the bed in generic gray scrubs, waiting for Dr. Savannah to give you final instructions before your release. It had been two days since the explosion. Your hearing had, thankfully, returned to normal. The rest of you... not so much but you were on the mend.

They both gave you careful hugs.

"You look a lot less like you were squashed by a building," Jamie said sincerely and Maria punched his arm. "Hey, that was a compliment!"

"Don't make me laugh," you begged, holding your left side. They'd fused your broken ribs back together but the tissue damage would take longer to resolve. Still, aches, pains, limited motion and all, you knew you were very lucky.

"I hope they're giving you a nice vacation, at least," Maria went on.

"I should be ready for light duty in a week."

"Technically, I said we'd evaluate you for light duty in a week," Dr. Savannah corrected as she entered. "Afraid your friends will have to catch up with you later."

They said their goodbyes and, as they left, you started to stand. The doctor quickly said, "No, you don't. I don't want you walking on that leg."

"It's not broken," you argued.

"Not anymore," she countered. "Stay put. I got you a ride."

"I don't need to be wheeled back to the barracks." You tried to keep your tone confident but the truth was even that little bit of exertion had left you feeling twinges all along your left leg. Your left shoulder throbbed with each heartbeat.

"Well, good thing you're wrong on both counts," she said, winking. "And here he is now."

John came through the door, dressed in his undersuit as if either about to head to the Brokkr stations to have his Mjolnir mounted up or returning from having it removed. You didn't even realize you'd moved to rise again until Dr. Savannah put a practiced hand on your good shoulder to keep you down.

"I'll be sending PT to you twice a day, starting tomorrow," she said. "They'll help you to get your strength and mobility back. Around that, rest. Catch up on your reading, watch some thoroughly trashy movies, and keep your feet up. Not too far up, though. Nothing too strenuous. Make him do all of the work."

That got you to look at her and she waggled her eyebrows.

John cleared his throat slightly, a faint but definite flush creeping up from his collar. "Yes, ma'am."

"All right, see you back in a few days, sooner if anything else develops. You know what to watch for."

It wasn't until she stepped back and John approached that it clicked.

"You're going to carry me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he repeated in a murmur that shivered straight down your spine.

Since your left side had taken the brunt of the damage, he put your right to his chest and cautiously picked you up in a bridal carry. Despite the care, being moved set a thousand things to hurting and your breath hitched as he straightened.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you said, your tone tighter than you would've liked. You thought, I hope nobody sees me being toted around like this, but, as soon as you left medical, you realized that no one was actually looking at you.

I think if Master Chief offered to drop me and pick up any marine, ODST or officer in this hall, they'd be hopping into his arms before I even hit the floor!

At the first turn he made, you realized the rest of it. "This isn't the way to the barracks."

"Nope," he said and you knew him well enough now to see the hint of a smile in his eyes.

You didn't have to wait for further clues, there was only one place, then, that he could be taking you. "How many strings did you have to pull for this?"

"Not as many as you might think," he demurred. "Your actions saved lives."

And they could've blamed you for failing to make sure a bomb hadn't been sent to the Pit in the first place. The curly tailed Warthog had been your responsibility, after all. You'd been curtly informed of all that when they'd debriefed you the first day you'd had your eyes open for more than 15 minutes.

You doubted they'd told that to John, though.

When you reached his room, he maneuvered so to get his thumb on the panel without jostling you too much. The lights came on as he took you through the doorway and then he paused.

"Kai," he rumbled, shaking his head. "She said studies show people heal better with color. I should've known she'd overdo it. Say the word and I'll have her in here clearing this out."

"It's your room," you said, "but personally, I love it."

The duvet on the bed and the pillows on the couch were now a rainbow of jewel tones. A tapestry with a field of sunflowers dominated the wall at the foot of the bed and you could've sworn there was a dusting of diamond glitter shimmering on every wall, sending tiny holographic rainbows through the air in all directions. But the main thing that caught your attention was overhead.

"She put up stars," you said, brightening.

"Ah, that one was actually me," he confessed. "You seemed to really like those in her room so I thought..."

You stretched up in his arms, inhaling a little sharply at the stab of pain in your left side, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love them, John. Thank you."

A short time later, you found yourself lying on the bed in the darkened room, looking up at those stars. John had profusely apologized for not being able to stay after getting you settled in. He'd turned down the bed so you wouldn't have to, had put your padd close at hand on the nightstand to the right along with a bottle of water and a couple of emergency ration packs in case you got hungry before someone bought you a meal. He'd even procured you a set of unthinkably soft civvies to change into, exactly your size and in your favorite color.

You couldn't imagine that a Spartan had ever taken care of a sick or wounded person before, other than in a battlefield triage situation, so he'd probably found a checklist from somewhere to guide him. His earnestness to make sure he'd done everything right sent warmth flooding through you.

Before he left, he'd paused to kiss the top of your head.

"You know," you said, lifting your chin, "my lips aren't broken."

He hesitated. "The last time I did that, an entire base fell on you."

"Only the warehouse part," you said dismissively, "and there was absolutely no correlation, I promise."

He tried to smile at that but his eyes still showed concern.

"I promise," you repeated more seriously and he exhaled as if about to make a tremendous leap. His kiss was so soft and gentle, it was barely more than a whisper against your mouth.

Once he had left, you'd considered taking Dr. Savannah's advice and watching a holo, reading something on your padd, or doing any number of things to pass the time but ultimately, you'd wanted to appreciate his handiwork.

After all, it wasn't just anybody who could say a Spartan had literally hung the stars for them.

[axel-ambassador]

Its 4 am for me and I just wanna talk about why poly shipping is so good especially in Total drama.

TD is such a unique show that is able to get away with having an extreme abundance of characters, and by extension, ships, without it coming across as overbearing. Like name a show with over 100 characters that you know the name and personality of. It's an extremely impressive feat.

That said with so many characters there are so many different shipping opportunities. Sometimes the writers give two characters really good chemistry as friends or enemies and the fans take it to the next level. Sometimes the writers completely fumble the potential they have and the fans pick it up from there. Sometimes there are rare pairs that in context make no sense but fans make them work and that's so cool.

Anyway back to my point. I personally hate needless drama, in real life and in fiction. Fiction especially because typically said drama involves character derailment and general disappointment for the fans of said characters involved.

My point is that I hate the love triangle. I hate the drama it caused. I hate how predictable it was. I hate that it was an arc spread over multiple seasons starting in season 2 and ultimately lead to nothing by the end of season 5. I hate how such a lazy trope is what defined Gwen, Duncan, and Courtney's characters for a multitude of years only for it to mean nothing, and I'm not exaggerating, nothing, by the end of All Stars; their last canonical appearances.

Duncney was destined to break up after island, that's not what I have an issue with. Duncan didn't have to frickin cheat and drag Gwen in a long with him. I love Gwuncan in concept, I really do, but the terrible execution of it which directly contributed to the down fall of both characters sours the memory and idea of the honestly awesome relationship between two of the most popular characters in the entire series.

And then All Stars rolls around and watching it as a Gwen and Courtney fan is like getting a warm embrace, two incredible characters are finally on good terms, only for that embrace to become a suplex, Sundae Muddy Sundae. So now you're on the ground feeling hurt and quite betrayed. And then the realization that it all was for nothing, Gwen and Duncan breaking up despite them getting together being such a huge plot point, Gwen and Courtney being back to square one despite a whole seasons worth of investment in their relationship, character derailment up the goddamn wazoo on all 3 ends, is like the show consecutively spitting in your face.

You wanna know how all of this frustration, pain, and shitty writing could have been avoided? Poly shipping.

Duncan and Courtney have a serious talk about their relationship, how it's incredibly toxic and they need to smooth things out if they want to progress as a couple.

Gwen over here having a bi panic as, oh no, maybe she likes Duncan more than she thought, and she's also slowly falling for his girlfriend since they've had no one but each other to talk to for half a season.

Courtney coming to terms with huh maybe she's not as straight as she thought and how Gwen calms her in a way Duncan never could.

Meanwhile Duncan realizes he likes Gwen for the opposite reasons he likes Courtney. Courtney knows how to push his buttons and he loves how much it drives him crazy. Gwen is much more down to earth but is just as chaotic and a rebel as he is.

They don't kiss in the confessional in London. They talk. Jesus Christ if there's one thing the characters in this God forsaken show don't know how to do it's fuckin communicate. Especially in relationships.

They come to the conclusion that they like each other, and they both like Courtney. So they go and talk to Courtney, and Tyler can do whatever the hell it is he planned on originally.

So there you go. What was meant to be an informative post on poly shipping turned into a rant and ultimately sloppy fix of the love triangle.

Back to my original point I was trying to make but got side tracked. Polyshipping is a multi shippers heaven. As a multi shipper, it's so much easier to make everyone date instead of just picking which ship I like more.

There are characters with great chemistry that would never be considered canon, Gwourtney, Alenoah, Gweather, Heathney, Nowen, I could go on. There's obviously an overlap in some of those.

I love Gwourtney, but Gweather and Heathney are so cool too. I don't know which one to pick. The great thing is that you don't have to pick with Gweathney. Or Gwuncaney. Or Alenowen. Or Aleheathcan.

There is so much potential with so many characters in this show that it can be challenging to figure out which dynamics you love best and which to pick from.

Not only does polyshipping make that easier but also hella more painless and comical in terms of character interactions.

Thank you for your time and I'm sorry.

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi! How are you, bestie? I'm just here for a quick drop-by again, just to check in and say hi.

Life hasn't slowed down much the past few weeks so I still haven't had time to do a long review but please know that every GH chapter is like a shot of serotonin straight into my veins.

You had so many good lines in Chapter 10 that gave me a good chuckle btw, i loved it.

Also, I'm never ever getting tired of Paige-Azzi-Stephie scenes. Like ugh, this lil family makes my day always. Brooo, Stephie's possessiveness! She a little master manipulator huh cause this:

“Mama,” Stephie says loudly, cutting Paige off as she turns to Azzi, “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?”

“I was just thinking,” Stephie barrels on casually, “maybe we could go see her and she could give me cuddles and kisses since app-ently Miss Buecks is too busy to give them to me-”

^This was absolutely DIABOLICAL from that little girl hahahah. She knows EXACTLY what to say to get what she wants from her Miss Buecks. Like mother, like daughter truly.

And our Drew cameo, it's finally here! Oh boy, the confrontation is really gonna be something, i already know. Yeah for sure I think Drew's gonna have slight feelings of jealousy or yearning in a way that Stephie gets to experience what he missed out on, but more than anything I think he is gonna be super protective of her and not wanting her to ever go through what he went through when Paige and Azzi broke up.

I do wonder what Azzi's reaction will be if and when they finally get around to talking about the "plan" in place of Angie potentially taking over P's role and the team maybe no longer needing P after this one season. I know P says it's nothing they can't work through , but well we all know how much of an overthinker Azzi is and so she's prolly already gonna jump straight ahead to scenarios of well what's that gonna look like if P has to move to the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY and how that's gonna affect Stephie. Ugh, the angst is about to ANGST, i feel it.

Anyhoo, i guess this is kinda a medium-sized review? As a small token of my appreciation haha.

As always, thanks for taking the time to feed our souls with your talent! Can't wait for the next (whenever that may be)!

P.S: I think I'm rooting for a Liberty-Sun finals series. I do love the Lynx and I know how much you love Phee so I wouldn't mind if it was the Lynx (and I think it will prolly be them anyway over the Sun) but I do have such a soft spot for CT and I looooove Nai, so I am rooting for them over Minny, sorry babes. I'm rooting for NY though so at least there's that!

Oh and I watched Geno's media availability today, and he didn't seem all too impressed after the first practice session lol but it is the first one and there's a lot of new pieces so like he said, it'll just take time. But it better take less time than it did last season cause idk if I can suffer through another painful non-conference stretch. ALSO grandpa seemed annoyed at having to be cautious with Azzi LMAO, like if it was up to him, she's back on that court playing as much as possible ASAP. Imma need him to chill on that though. Like no one wants to see princess back on court more than me (well, maybe apart from Azzi herself and blondie) BUT her knees better be 200% before she's back on there!

I said "quick drop-by" and look what we got instead - typical hahah.

OK imma stop now. Love ya, bestie. Take care of yourself always! 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BESTIE I MISSED YOU I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU <3

Babes I get you don't even worry about it. Life is gonna do life things and whenever you have the time to do one again (hopefully I write again lol) I will be seated to read it!

But I'm glad you've been enjoying GH.

Honestly I love writing Stephie so much. She's just an evil genius and she's so smart and perfect and funny which off course she is, she's literally mini-Pazzi.

Ugh babes you always just get my writing because that's exactly how Drew feels towards Stephie. There's definitely some wistfulness there seeing her get that "family" that was in way stolen from him but he's already enamored by this little girl and he would never want her to face what he has.

Azzi's reaction is going to depend on when she finds out and how she finds out tee hee :) I've given y'all so much fluff, it's only fair I give the angst fiends some angst soon.

Well I hate to break it to you babes, but no Liberty-Sun finals for and you and I fear it's looking quite grim for the Liberty in general right now. But at least we'll always have MVPhee too root for!

Oh god I didn't have time to react to Geno's availability but I fear grandpa did not real squelch any of my fears about this team. My biggest side-eye was actually his lack of complementariness about Jana and I'm a little fearful for my frontcourt where apparently Ice (??) is looking like the best player?

He's definitely dying to have Azzi back out there but if that girl plays more than 15 minutes in at least her first 5 games, we will be having words! I have Farleigh-Dickinson circled on my calender for the earliest possible game we can see her and that would give her a couple of easy game before the team would really need her so he better not play her more than 15 if she does play then.

[thewiglesswonder]

Oooh what are your thoughts about toh finale 👀 bring on the salt 😤

Alright everybody, buckle your fucking seatbelts.

First thing's first, I think that this show was suffering from major story-related issues that started as far back as mid-season 2. My problems start officially with Elsewhere and Elsewhen, because this is where I feel the show dropped the ball on one of the most important elements of any piece of media: its villain.

I firmly believe that a story is only as good as its villain, and up until this point, The Owl House had been doing an amazing job with Belos. The audience was kept in the dark about the true nature of his backstory, but, crucially, with enough material and hints provided to extrapolate the nature of it before it was revealed.

And many, many people came to the same conclusions. Luz, our lovable protagonist since day one, has had to come to her own grips with her weirdo-hood, the fact that she's not a Chosen One, that this world doesn't operate by the laws of her fantasy books. What better way for our villain to be than to have him directly foil this? Prior to Elsewhere and Elsewhen, this was the main thought about Philip Wittebane. Someone just like Luz, ostracized from his community in a much more visceral and potentially violent way, who also found sanctuary and some kind of acceptance on the Boiling Isles, before something causes him to become the Emperor we know today.

Elsewhere and Elsewhen and Hollow Mind essentially took this idea and spat in its face. The villain they gave us had absolutely zero depth, and was outright stated in the finale to be just that: only evil and deluded.

Even with the look into Philip and Caleb's life provided in Thanks to Them, the finale still took this and did what? Absolutely nothing with it. I just have no idea why they would put that much effort into giving Philip a backstory that's as potentially sympathetic as what we see, only to write him off as evil and only evil.

I've seen other people lauding this choice, because "good for them for showing us that not everybody has to be redeemed!" I am not saying that Belos could have or should have been redeemed, in fact, I had been rooting for him to die since the early seasons, a good death befitting of a good villain. Actually examining his backstory and fleshing him out as a character does not mean he would have been redeemed! If the Owl House's moral is that "people are complex", this would have aided in the delivery of that message!

Instead, what we got was three specials full of nothing but hot air, a gigantic amount of screentime devoted to a character that always felt like a shoehorn-in at best with the Collector, and the most disappointing, anticlimactic villain defeat I've ever seen in my life. And yes, I know there are people who loved it and think that this series can do no wrong. I acknowledge that this show is incredibly important culturally and that it was unfortunately limited by its cancellation. But this does not protect it from any and all criticism, especially when said criticism has to do with the integrity of the plot and the overall message of the show.

[loversj0y]

'tis the damn season

chapter four - now im missing your smile

the final day hits you with a realization you can no longer hide from, with the combination of leaving and potentially losing him marking the day with the grim note of what feels like death row.

tis the damn season masterlist

pairing: cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader

this chapter is more angst-focused, but there is fluff as well. sad ending tho so... :)

trigger warnings: reader's mother is abusive (not physically) and father is emotionally absent. this will be talked about in extensive detail. alcohol, some suggestive themes, and a lot of anxiety, MAJOR TW FOR PANIC ATTACK

author's note: okay. we've reached the final chapter. which feels weird. i may eventually add more into this series, maybe a follow up or even some one-shots surrounding the story. i have a few in mind already actually. but yeah! i hope you enjoy! and i hope you end up as emotionally wrecked as my editor was! also i utilize a cliche in this chapter however. i dont care i love cliches in writing ao3 version is available here!

word count: 6.6k

You woke up to Wilbur singing softly. As you regained consciousness more and more, you recognized the song he was singing. 

“I knew that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago, so I will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way, I already know.”

It was Hozier. Like Real People Do, to be specific. You smiled, your eyes slowly opening. He was looking up at the ceiling, a soft smile on his face, though one hand gently played with your hair. You shifted, causing him to look down at you, but instead of being startled, he kept singing. 

“So I will not ask you where you came from, I would not ask and neither would you,” he gently kissed your forehead, “Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.” 

You smiled softly, leaning up to gently kiss him. “Good morning,” you whispered. 

He kissed you back, holding you close, “Morning, love.”

“You were singing.” You commented quietly, and he nodded.

“Glad you noticed,” he joked. “Was just feeling sing-y this morning, I suppose.”

You smiled, leaning up a bit, “were you up singing for long?”

He pushed a strand of your hair back gently, shaking his head, “Not really. I’ve only been up for around thirty minutes, you just looked very peaceful, so I didn’t want to move and wake you.” 

“That’s sweet,” you hummed, “what time is it?”

“Just past noon.”

You nodded softly. Just under eight hours left together then. You sat up slowly, but Wilbur caught your arm and pulled you back down. You chuckled softly at his warm grin, “Wilbur, we have to clean, and I need to pack.” 

He hummed, “I disagree, actually. I think, if you were to look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, neither of those things falls there. However, right there, at the base, the most essential thing is actually us cuddling together and listening to some sweet, loving music together.”

You chuckled, laying your head against his chest. “Fine. But only for a bit.”

He cheered, grabbing his phone to start playing some soft love songs, all very guitar-based in their composition.

“Are you excited to go back to Brighton?” You asked quietly.

“Somewhat,” he shrugged, “It’ll be nice to be back in my place, but I’ll definitely miss being here. It’s not great being back here, but you know,” he gave you a soft smile, “there can be some hidden charms.” 

You flushed lightly, nodding. “I agree. There are definitely some hidden charms.”

He chuckled, wrapping his arms loosely around you. “I know you’re not excited to go back, but are you at least excited to finish Uni?”

“Insanely.” You laughed, leaning your head against him, “The studying is interesting, but my god, I’m ready to just be done with the constant exams and tests and being told my interpretations are wrong.” 

“Do you get told that often?”

“Sometimes,” You shrugged,  “I have a habit of putting romance in places it doesn’t belong.” 

He smiled, “Always the hopeless romantic, hm?”

“In a sense. I just find that people will try to love, even if they shouldn’t. I mean think about Shakespeare’s work. Romeo and Juliet, the classic love tragedy, but then there’s also an entire sonnet he wrote basically insulting a woman just to end it by saying he loves her. And even in Macbeth, Macbeth listens to Lady Macbeth’s sadistic urges because he loves her and trusts her. People always focus on the negatives of these stories without focusing on how much romance truly exists inside of them. People always call Lady Macbeth an insane woman, and while she is, she is loved. The story would hardly happen if she wasn’t loved.”

He hummed softly. The entire time you spoke, he looked genuinely interested. It was almost startling. You weren’t used to being taken seriously when you spoke about the things you loved to talk about. Usually, it was a faux nod and an “oh, yeah”, but Wilbur was paying full attention to each syllable. Even if he’d been doing this for the past two weeks, it still shocked you. You wondered how long it would take you to get used to this. 

“I like that interpretation.” He smiled softly. “Makes things seem less bleak. More crime of passion rather than just crime.” 

You chuckled softly, “Exactly. I’m not exactly an optimist, but I do find it prettier to look at things like that.” 

He nodded, “It definitely is prettier. See, these are the thing I want to know more about you. Just another thing to add to my list of things I’ve memorized about you.”

“I guess so. I wouldn’t say that’s exactly part of how I perceive the world, but it is part of how I view literature, so which is a big part of my life, so.” 

“Which is just the type of thing you could bring to lyrics. Some of the best lyrics are just allusions. Mostly to biblical things, but still.” 

“I don’t know about lyrics, but maybe. I could give it a go at some point. I’m sure I’ll have to write a lyrical piece in one of my writing classes at some point anyway.”

“I think you would be fantastic at writing lyrics.”

“I think you’re biased.”

“I absolutely am biased.” 

You laughed, burying your face against him gently. He kissed the top of your head, rubbing your back gently. 

“Do you think if I convinced my band to let us write an entire song about two frogs falling in love, anyone would notice?”

You threw your head back with a loud laugh, a wide grin on your face. “With your writing prowess? Only if you wanted people to.”

“Do you think it’d make for a good song?” He snickered under his breath, clearly trying to hide his own laughter.

“Oh, absolutely,” you laughed, “you just have to give them a good story. Like maybe - maybe they live in opposite ponds, and he’s been admiring her beauty, so he starts going over to try and get to know her, but she refuses to like him, saying he’s not worth her time. But then, he comes by every day to sit there with her, a lilypad away, and eventually, they start talking. And just when he’s about to lose hope, he wakes up to find her waiting in his pond, showing how much she’s fallen for him, and that’s how they end up together.” 

He smiled happily, “That’s a good story. Is it taken, I might use it?”

You hummed, “You can use it, under one condition. If you use it, you need to put one word in it, anywhere you want, but it has to be in it.”

“What word?”

You thought for a moment, trying to pull through every old scholarly vocabulary paper you’d studied. “Limerence.”

“Limerence?”

You nodded, “It’s like an obsessive crush. A crush, but all-encompassing and not entirely healthy. You have to find a way to use it without making their love seem negative.”

He hummed, “Okay. I can do that. Wish I knew that word for the E-Girl trilogy, would’ve been a good one to include.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

He flushed, suddenly embarrassed. “It’s a bit hard to explain, okay? It’s these three songs that I have and they’re from the perspective of a simp incel type of guy who is obsessed with a streamer who he used to be in school with. It’s supposed to make fun of guys like that.”

You leaned over him, grabbing the TV remote from the side table and handing it to him. “Put it on, right now, please,” you giggled softly. 

He did so begrudgingly, clearly embarrassed to show you. He played all three music videos for you, and you grinned up at him. 

“Don’t be so embarrassed, they’re really cool.”

“I’m not embarrassed about the quality, it’s more about you seeing me playing a character like that.”

“Well, yes, but you’re just playing a character.”

“I know, but I’d hate to think of you seeing me like that. I care a lot about your opinion of me.”

You smiled softly, gently playing with his hair, “Don’t worry. I know how to separate you from your online persona, not to mention the art you create. I think the stuff you do is so cool. Plus, I like how goofy you are in your content and stuff, I find it quite cute.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he relaxed a bit, before speaking again, “You’ve been watching my content?”

You flushed lightly, “Mostly your VODs and such. I haven’t watched your Youtube content too much yet.”

He grinned proudly, “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it.” He snickered softly before speaking again as if telling a private joke, “Have you checked if you’re subscribed? You know, most people don’t know that there’s a glitch on Youtube that unsubscribes you, so you should really double check.” He broke into laughter as he finished, and you rolled your eyes, kissing him. 

“With jokes like that, you should be lucky I haven’t purposefully unsubscribed yet.”

He gasped in mock horror, “How could you? When- when subscribing is completely free?” 

You both fell into laughter, holding each other close. You continued talking for a long while, trying to absorb as much of each other as you could. You had one thought that you simply couldn’t push out of your brain, it kept coming back every other moment. Today feels like an apocalypse. It was a thought that perplexed you, because you understood it without fully divulging it’s meaning. It more accurately felt like the moment before the apocalypse, where everything seems peaceful. Most people speaking about tragic events always talk about a warning feeling in their chest, but you didn’t feel that. And while it should have been comforting, you already knew what was coming, the tragedy of leaving him was not an unsuspecting one you had to rely on intuition to prepare for. It was something that you were aware of, something you knew was coming regardless of how much you wished for it to not. You could hear the clock counting you down in your head. Every second. Tick. Tock. It made you feel a bit insane. Tick. Tock. To have this constant awareness of the passage of time, counting down your seconds to leaving him. Tick. Tock. It felt like a death march. Tick tock. It felt like an execution. Tick tock. It felt like the end. 

Wilbur’s voice pulled you out of your head this time. He hadn’t noticed your descent into madness, staring at the ceiling and thinking himself. You wondered if the clock was ticking in his head as well. Even if it was, his demeanor for the time being seemed much more positive than your own. “What should we do when you visit Brighton for the first time?”

“Hm, I’m not sure. What could we do?”

He smiled, “We could go walking about the lanes, there’s a lot of nice shops there. I could take you to my band rehearsal, as well. You could meet Tommy and some of my other friends in person as well. We could go on the i360, and get a nice view. We should go to the beach, too. Wait until night so we get some privacy as well. We could swim, too, but we don’t have to. Depends on when you visit. But the beach we definitely have to visit.”

“That all sounds really lovely. Especially the beach. I can’t remember the last time I was able to stare out at the water.”

He smiled, “It’s settled then. We can’t do everything all at once, though, obviously. We have to save some things for each time you come to visit.”

“Oh, of course. We take it bit by bit. Though, I’d like to go to your band rehearsals every time if possible. If not, maybe then I’ll hang out with Tommy or something.”

He chuckled, “Okay, that’s a deal, then.” His voice drowned out the ticking, you noted to yourself with a smile. 

You sat up slowly,  “How long have we been here?” 

He grabbed his phone, checking the time, “it’s 2:30,” he sighed.

You stood, and this time he knew that he wouldn’t be able to convince you to stay longer. The ticking was faster and louder now. Ticktock, Ticktock, Ticktock. “We have to be at the station by 8:30, and the station is twenty minutes away, but because of traffic, we’ll probably be better off leaving at 8.” Five and a half hours left. “Right, let me change and finish packing first.” 

He sat up while you changed, standing slowly and stretching. He pulled out his jumper from your bag, handing it to you. “You should wear it. On the train.”

You smiled softly at him, pulling it on. Once you did so, you grabbed your phone, and he watched as you sent him a quick text of just a smiley face. You looked back up at him, “Just making good on our deal.”

He smiled, leaning forward and kissing you gently. You leaned into the kiss, holding onto his arms lightly. It was a delicate kiss, both of you seemingly feeling as though anything more than that could shatter the atmosphere. He placed a kiss on top of your head as well, before slowly pulling away. Neither of you said anything. Neither of you really needed to, you both knew what you were feeling. The mixed sense of dread and grief for something you haven’t lost yet, the feeling of knowing you have to leave something wonderful behind, the mourning of time passing. He helped you to finish packing your things, and together, you both brought your luggage downstairs, just to keep it at the door for later. Part of you felt bad knowing you couldn’t give him something like he’d given you his jumper. Your clothes wouldn’t fit him, and you didn’t have much else. After a moment, it came to you, but you decided you wanted to wait to give it to him.

He went to the kitchen, starting to clean up the dishes from the past few days, some of them needing to be cleaned and some just to be put away. While he did that, you focused on cleaning up some of the trash from the living room, such as some takeout and drink containers. You also made an effort to clean up the New Year’s decorations, and if a few of the stars he’d made were slipped into your bag, you were definitely none the wiser. The cleaning was mostly a quiet affair, Wilbur’s playlist was still playing softly from a speaker. You could hear him singing along occasionally, and it warmed your heart every time. When you’d finished taking all the trash out, you walked over behind him, arms wrapping around him. He smiled, taking some bubbles from the washing liquid and putting them on your hand gently. You chuckled softly, moving your hand up to blow the bubbles off. You pulled away from him, and he turned around. He took your hand, spinning you in a circle to the music. You chuckled, and before you knew it, the two of you were dancing around the kitchen to the music. You grinned wider with each step, and he kept a hand placed on your lower back. You moved in slow circles around the kitchen, eventually coming to one place and just swaying together with the music. 

“Look at me,” he spoke softly after a minute, and you did, slowly looking up to meet his gaze. 

He smiled lovingly, just observing your face for a moment.

“What are you doing?” You spoke up.

He smiled fondly, “Making sure I’ve committed you to memory.”

You flushed, reaching up to touch his face, “I love you.”

You watched and felt as his face lit into a grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way you could only describe as endearing. Every time you said those words it felt like a wave of relief washing over you. 

“I love you too,” he kissed you lovingly, that grin never leaving his face. You kissed him back, and you knew you shared a similar grin. Neither of you wanted to pull away, the sheer amount of love being shared filling the both of you up entirely.

Wilbur did eventually pull away for air. He panted quietly for a moment, still staring down at you, before taking a look around the room. The place looked like there was no trace of you or Will ever existing there. It almost felt like a movie set rather than a real place now, with a lack of life throughout the room. It was still his parent’s place, but it didn’t feel real anymore. It was honestly chilling to look at. Wilbur seemed to feel it too. 

“We’ve still got about three hours. Want to go eat out somewhere?”

You both decided to walk to the main street. It was colder today, but, hand-in-hand, neither of us really seemed to notice. There weren’t many dining places open on New Year’s Day, especially not in a small town like this, but there was one place that was pretty much always open. It was a family-run restaurant, having been run for generations before you or Wilbur were born. It was a nice place, a bit run-down, but that wasn’t exactly any different from most of the places here. The family was always kind to you and Wilbur, letting you both hide out here sometimes after school in exchange for helping them clean up. Wilbur opened the door for you, and you both walked in. The place was empty, but it still had a warm atmosphere. There was a gasp, and you both turned in the direction of the sound. Wilbur pulled his hand away from yours, almost involuntarily, but he held your hand once again when he saw the source of the gasp.

“My goodness, my eyes must deceive me!” Liza, known more correctly as Mrs. Liza by all the younger kids in town, was one of the owners. She was an older lady, probably approaching her mid-sixties now, and her husband, Albert,  was one of the owners as well, though he primarily worked in the back of house. Mrs. Liza was always especially kind to you, knowing your situation, and she even hired you for a bit in high school to help out during the busy seasons. She walked over to you and Wilbur, a wide grin on her face as she pulled you both in for hugs. 

“Hi, Mrs. Liza,” you and Wilbur both said in unison. 

“You’ve both grown so much. I can’t believe it, it’s only been four years!” You chuckled as you hugged her back, a wide smile on your face. 

She pulled Wilbur in for a hug next before pulling back to get a good look at the both of you. After a moment, she gave a knowing smile at the both of you.

“Now, would you look at this? I predicted many years ago the two of you would’ve gotten together, I knew it, I told Albert, you give those kids some time, and they’ll be together soon enough. How long have you been married?”

You flushed, and Wilbur chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with a faint blush on his cheeks as well. “We’re not, actually. We just got together.”

She looked genuinely shocked, scoffing a bit, “What is this then? Is this your first date?”

You shook your head, still somewhat embarrassed, “We had a date last night at Wilbur’s place.”

She nodded, tutting softly, “Well, then, take a seat anywhere you’d like. We’ll make this a proper date. I’ll let Albert know the news, and he’ll prepare something extra special for you both.”

“Oh, you don’t have to–”

“Hush with that, dearie, just take a seat. We’ve got this covered.”

Wilbur looked back at you. “Back corner?”

You nodded softly. The back corner booth was always your and Wilbur’s spot back in school. The number of hours you would spend sitting there, whether you were studying or you were both ranting about how much you hated your classmates. You followed him, and sitting in that booth felt more like being home than being in your parent’s house ever did. 

“God, the conversations we’ve had here,” you hummed softly. 

He laughed, “Yeah. The number of times I’d just stare at you while you rambled on. There were so many times you would ask for my opinion on something, and I’d have to scramble for an answer because I was just so focused on how pretty you looked, especially when the sun started to set. The light would always hit your face at this perfect angle.”

You flushed softly, “How did I never notice?”

“I always made sure you were distracted,” he chuckled softly, “I’d get you started on some topic just to listen to you talk.”

“Is that why you asked me so many questions about the professors I hated?”

He laughed, “Yeah. I knew why you hated them, I just always acted like I didn’t so you’d start talking, and I could listen and admire you.”

You looked down shyly, focusing on a chipped piece of wood on the table. You still weren’t used to his compliments. 

“Is that why you’d walk me home all the time too?”

He hummed, “No. I also just like your company. As much as I’ve always crushed over you, you always were and will be my best friend first.”

You looked back up at him, a sweet smile on your face. “I know what you mean. I’ll always have loved you as my best friend before loving you as my…” you faltered. You and Wilbur hadn’t exactly put a name to what it is you’d been doing. You both seemed to consider each other as being together, but you couldn’t say exactly what it is you were. You couldn’t necessarily say he was your boyfriend, not only had that not been asked or decided, but you were leaving in under three hours, so it wasn’t like you could claim those titles. But you also couldn’t just say a friend, you were both far more than that. Even friends with benefits wasn’t correct, you guys had emotional involvements, so that wouldn’t work. Wilbur seemed just as conflicted as you, thankfully, but you didn’t have a chance to talk about it as Mrs. Liza came back with a bottle of wine and a basket of bread. 

“Just something to start you off properly. Albert is making your food right now. Wilbur, I remember you can’t taste quite well, so Albert is making sure none of the textures are ones you don’t like, alright?”

Wilbur smiled fondly at her, nodding, “thank you, really.”

She smiled happily, grabbing two wine glasses and pouring you guys both a glass. 

“This is really too kind, Mrs. Liza,” you chuckled softly.

She tutted at you, lightly flicking your forehead, “Nonsense, dearie. I’ve watched you two grow up, it’d be wrong of me to make sure you two aren’t having a wonderful time. I knew that you’d end up together at some point, I’d tell Albert every day how much you both reminded me of him and me. That’s also why this is the same wine he and I shared on our first proper date. He got me rather drunk, he did, but my goodness, it was worth it to see how much he already cared about me. A real gentleman, he is, just like you, William, I’d hope.” She chuckled softly.

Wilbur flushed, smiling appreciatively at her. “Of course. I try my best.”

She smiled happily, “Well, I’ll leave you two alone now to bond.”

She shuffled back to the kitchen with a soft smile. 

Wilbur picked up his wine glass, taking a look at the bottle for a moment, “Wow. This is… fancy. A cabernet sauvingnon, from France too.” 

You nodded, picking up my wine glass. “Guess they really believe in us.” You chuckled softly. 

He sat up a bit straighter, holding his glass up in a toast. “To our future.”

You smiled fondly, “To our future.” 

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

Mrs. Liza brought out your food, some nice home-cooking style food that felt familiar to both you and Wilbur. Albert ended up coming out as well, giving you both big hugs and wishing you both the best. You both finished eating, as well as finishing the wine which was fantastic. You both went to pay, but Mrs. Liza refused to accept the payment. Even so, you and Wilbur both left about fifty pounds cash on the table for them, feeling too guilty about leaving without at least paying something.

 You walked back to Wilbur’s place, and you both were quieter as you became more and more aware that it was time. You grabbed your luggage and lifted it into Wilbur’s car, and you drove off to the train station. The drive was quiet, but you both held each other’s hands like a lifeline. 

He parked at the train station, and you checked the time. It was 8:03 P.M. exactly. The ticking felt overwhelming now, and even Wilbur’s presence wasn’t helping. Ticktockticktockticktock. You started to feel your breathing pick up a bit. Ticktockticktockticktock. You guys were early, at least.  Ticktockticktockticktock. That at least eased your anxieties about being late.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just sit here.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay here with him and everything would be perfectly fine.  Ticktockticktockticktock.

“-ey! Hey!’ Wilbur’s voice just barely cut through the ticking. You looked over at him, but you didn’t really see him. There was a faraway look in your eyes, unable to focus on anything. He held your hand tighter, gently moving your hand to place it on his chest, giving you something more tangible and solid to feel.

“Starlight, look at me, tell me, what’s something you can see right now?”

You wanted to reply. You could see him. But you couldn’t get the words out. You tried tapping on his shoulder gently, but your fingers were already trembling to the point where he couldn’t tell. 

“Okay,” he sighed frantically, “that’s not going to work.” He started overexaggerating the slow pace of his breathing, never once taking his eyes off of you. “You’re okay, you’re in the car with just me, we’re safe, we’re just here together, relaxing.” He repeated these affirmations until your breathing was slightly more controlled. 

He tried asking again, “What’s something you can see?” 

Your words still wouldn’t come out, but you were able to tap him successfully this time. “Me? Okay, okay, tap once for yes, and twice for no, okay?” 

You tapped once. 

“Do you want a hug?”

Two taps. That would just make it harder to ground yourself.

He nodded, “Is the breathing helping?”

One tap.

He nodded again, being even more specific in his slow breathing. 

“Alright, darling, I know you can’t say it aloud, so don’t worry about that, but I want you to find two things you can hear. Tap me three times when you have.” 

His voice. Soft music came through his speaker. Three taps. 

“Alright, very good, darling, you’re doing amazing. Now, same thing this time except, other than me, find me four more things you can see.”

The steering wheel. The buttons on the car radio. The flaked leather of the center console. The small Capybara keychain on Wilbur’s keys. Three taps. 

This time, you found your voice again, “I- I think I’m good.”

Wilbur let out a relieved sigh, nodding. He didn’t stop his slow breathing, though. He gently reached over, taking your other hand and holding it gently. It took a few minutes before you really felt like you returned to yourself, and you took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” you spoke softly.

He frowned, squeezing your hand gently, “Don’t apologize. Do you want to talk about it?”

You groaned a bit but nodded. As much as you hated it, you did know talking it out would help, “I feel… like I’m about to walk the gallows.”

He gave you a look, beckoning you to elaborate.

“It’s just… ever since I woke up this morning, I’ve just heard this clock in my brain ticking faster and faster until the train. It’s just felt so overwhelming, you know? Today entirely felt like a death march all leading up to this. And now… the idea of getting on that train feels so impossible, but I know that I have to. I feel suffocated by it. The obligation and the uncertainty. I want nothing more than to just remain here with you because I’m happy with you, but I know that I’ve put so much into my education and that I’m almost done, so I can’t just abandon it all. And I feel like for all we’ve talked about, nothing was truly settled, so I just feel like I’m walking to my death, that I’m going to get on that train and everything is going to change. I won’t be able to keep up, and everything is just going to get worse.” 

He frowned, nodding quietly. He looked at a loss for words. 

He spoke after a moment, “Some things are going to change when you leave. We won’t be cuddling in my old bedroom anymore, and we won’t get to see each other every day. But nothing else has to change. I know we… haven’t really defined ‘us’, but whatever it is we’re doing, we can continue. I know you’re worried about being busy, but as long as you try, we can make it through this. As far as school, we could try and find small things to make it a bit easier. Maybe we can try and find you a better place in London. I know it won’t fix things, but it could help. You spent years here holding on for something better. You can do a year, I know you can.”

You sighed softly. You knew he was right, but fuck if it didn’t annoy you how easy it was for him to soothe 75% of your anxieties. 

 He spoke up again, speaking sardonically, “You know, it’s almost funny. You dealt with so much in this place for so long that London became an escape. Now it’s backward. Now you’re trying to use this place to escape London”

You hummed softly, letting out a chuckle, “I wouldn’t say this place is my escape.” You looked up at him, looking into his eyes.

He flushed lightly, squeezing your hand a bit tighter. You knew he understood. He always understood. 

“You’re serious that nothing has to change?”

He smiled, giving your hand a gentle kiss, “Nothing that we can control. Though, we do have to talk further about the whole Twitch thing.”

“We still have,” you checked the time. 8:23. “Like 10 minutes.”

He nodded, “Well, there’s a lot we’ll have to go into, so we can’t talk about all of it now, but… some people online are pretty invasive. They’ll try to find information out about you. If they see your face, they might try to go up to you in public or stuff. Most of them mean well, but some of them don’t realize when they’re being invasive. I’m just worried about your privacy and your safety.” 

“Wilbur, I barely have an online presence. The most they could probably do is find me in our old yearbooks.”

“I mean, we don’t know that. I’m just worried they might try and be mean to you or treat you badly.”

You smiled lightly. It was reassuring to see how much he cared about your well-being. “I understand the risks. But truthfully, I think it may be the least of our worries. They don’t know what I look like, and they don’t know my name, and they don’t know we’re romantically involved. We’re safe for now, at least, and then, later on, we can discuss letting them know and such.”

He nodded softly, gently pressing a kiss onto my hand, “Alright.”

You gently moved a bit of his hair out of his eyes, “I really don’t want to go,” you whispered with a soft sigh.

He frowned, holding your hand to his cheek, “I’d follow you if I could. The first chance I have to visit, I’ll be right there, bearing the smog and crowds.”

“You’d do all that just for me?”

“I’d deal with a lot worse for you.”

You gently stroked your thumb over his cheek, sighing shakily. “God, this fucking hurts.”

He chuckled softly, “Always a way with words.”

You rolled your eyes a bit, racking your brain for some higher-level words, “I don’t need eloquence to describe the pain of leaving you. My love is simplistic and so shall my words be. The strongest pain is that which can only be described in the most uncomplicated terminology.”

He chuckled softly, “Really putting that English degree to good use, hm?”

You laughed, lightly hitting his arm, “You dick.”

“It’s a lot of big words, that’s all,” he laughed, gently squeezing your hands, “you could be using that soon-to-be degree for some really cool things, don’t forget that.”

“I know. Trust me, I won’t forget.”

“Good. Because I will be bringing a horde of people to your graduation that you could work for.”

“Oh, god,” 

“I’ll have an entire group of people cheering just for you and embarrassing you.”

“Do not, oh, god. At least wait until after the graduation when I pack all my things and hide in your apartment for two weeks.”

He grinned at that, perking up a bit, “So, what I’m hearing is, your graduation party will be at my apartment?”

“I wasn’t planning on having one, but I guess I’ll have some free time after graduation while I search for jobs, so… if you want to hold me one, I’d much rather spend it with you than people who only care about me as an academic reference.”

He threw his arms up in celebration, cheering, “I’m going to start planning now. I’ll make it a perfect sort of homecoming celebration.”

“Homecoming?” You gave him a coy smile.

He didn’t even blush, speaking with full confidence, “You’re my home too. I’ll always celebrate you coming back to me.”

Tears welled in your eyes with those words. “Fuck,” you cursed softly, “damn you and your amazing way with words.” you leaned up, pulling him in for a long, loving kiss. 

He chuckled lightly into the kiss, but he kissed you back with just as much warmth and love. The kiss took over everything; you were barely aware of your own bones because of just how much this kiss took over your whole being.

He pulled away slowly, gently placing a hand on your cheek. He took a slow, shaky breath. He didn’t want to speak. But he had to. “Love… it’s time.”

We both got out of the car. He got my suitcase out from the trunk while you pulled your backpack on. He placed a hand on the small of your back underneath the bag, and he slowly walked us into the train station. 

“You have your ticket already?”

You nodded softly. It was in your wallet. He continued to walk to two of you to the train line, and once you were there, he stood in front of you. Neither of you knew what to do for a solid moment before Wilbur reached over, pulling you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back desperately, a shaky breath leaving you.

“Don’t- don’t go ghost on me, okay? I can’t handle losing you again.”

You nodded quickly, holding onto him tightly, “Just be patient with me. I don’t want to lose you because one of us did something stupid again.” 

 As you spoke, you leaned out of the hug to take his hand. You gently slipped a bracelet onto his wrist. It was an old one, a simple leather cord with silver beading. You wore it every day, and in school, you were convinced it gave you good luck. While you didn’t believe much in luck these days, the bracelet still meant a lot to you, and Wilbur knew that. 

He nodded as well, “Okay. I can do that.” He looked down at the bracelet, tearing up as he saw it. “You don’t have to-”

“I know,” you gently squeezed his hand, “I just want you to have something of me.” He nodded, pulling you into a tight hug once more, and his breathing seemed to be just as shaky as your own.

It was time to start getting on the train, but you were going to make every last second count. You had tears in your eyes as you pulled out of the hug just enough to look up at him.

You placed a hand on his cheek, taking a shaky sigh before speaking, “you made this the best two weeks I’ve ever had.”

The tears in my eyes began to fall, and he wasn’t far behind as he pulled you in for a desperate kiss. If the kiss earlier took over your whole being, this one took over the whole world. In this moment, he was your whole world, the only thing that mattered. Time didn’t pass in this mental void you two remained in, it was just you and him. 

It couldn’t last. You pulled apart as the deadline continued to close in. 

“I love you so, so much,” He whispered, tears falling slowly down his cheeks. 

“I love you too, Will,” you sobbed out, arms refusing to let go of him. 

“Darling, you have to go,” he reminded you, his voice cracking as he spoke. 

You nodded, weakly and reluctantly pulling away from him. He quickly leaned in to give you another loving kiss, this one much faster. 

You exchanged the final “I love you”s before you trudged onto the train.  

…

Fuck.

You felt like a cleaver had come across your neck, only leaving the tiniest part hanging on. You knew this would hurt, but openly sobbing on public transit is a new low. The only upside was that, with this being a night train, you wouldn’t be bothered as you sat in your own sadness. You went to find a seat, sitting by a window. You could see Wilbur. He seemed to be holding it together a bit better, his eyes scanning as he searched for you in the window. You already found yourself missing his smile. He made eye contact, giving you a wave. You waved back, but it felt half-hearted. Without him next to you, you could feel all the uncertainty around your relationship, and the future start to bubble back up. He said nothing would change. He said you would be visiting each other. You just didn’t know if that was true. You were busy and so was he. You have already drifted apart from every other person in your life because of your harsh schedule… how would this actually be any different? Not to say you were planning on giving up, but you had to be a realist. Something would pull you apart. You couldn’t handle any personal relationships, your classwork and actual work never gave you a moment of freedom. You weren’t going to give up, you would try, you really would. But as the train pulled away, and you and Wilbur gave each other a final wave, you left behind a kind fantasy of the only person who felt like home and headed towards uncertainty.

taglist: @shubblelive / @superioritycomplexes / @your-shifting-gurl (send an ask/dm me if you want to be added)

[nuctoria]

Hola me preguntaba una pregunta que opinas de esto, en lo que esperamos al nuevo villano de la serie de Mario & Luigi, se podria incluir a este tipo Dharkon al harèn de Luigi,,Este personage Dharkon es del juego de super smash bros ultimate es uno de los ultimos jefes finales creo que es como un tipo de deida oscura y primordial de la destruction y del caos,,,como seria una historia donde alguien trate de aser de Luigi un malvado emperador oscuro, o alguna otra historia donde el corazon del caos y la raqueta de tenis malvada y el libro oscuro de las profecias regresen a buscar a Luigi porque lo quieren de vuelta como su anfitriòn y maestro, o un Crossover de Mario bros y sailor moon por los villanos de las temporadas 2, 4, y 5,,, y muchas gracias por todo tu contenido y historias y todo lo que escribes de Luigi💚🖤💙.

Translation through Google: Hello, I was wondering what you think about this, as we wait for the new villain of the Mario & Luigi series, could this guy Dharkon be included in Luigi's harem, This character Dharkon is from the Super Smash Bros Ultimate game. one of the last final bosses I think is like a type of dark and primordial deity of destruction and chaos,,, what would a story be like where someone tries to make Luigi an evil dark emperor, or some other story where the heart of the chaos and the evil tennis racket and the dark book of prophecies return to look for Luigi because they want him back as their host and teacher, or a Crossover of Mario bros and sailor moon by the villains of seasons 2, 4, and 5,,, and thank you very much for all your content and stories and everything you write about Luigi💚🖤💙.

I prefer not to involve character from Smash Bros games cause there are so many characters in it that are compatible with Luigi, might as well be half the gallery and that's a LOT. Like, Luigi can be shared but Jesus Christ Almighty.

For Dharkon, Luigi would probably beyond terrified and would refuse any and all interaction with the being (I saw pictures of them), but if it was forced like with the artifacts, that would be a very epic yet dark story because that is a sentient, god-like deity, not an object that's being controlled by another. Since it's from another world entirely too, the rules change a lot so Mario and co will have a very hard time ever getting Luigi back, especially alive.

If the artifacts that have already been used alongside or have met Luigi to know him and his hidden potential and have gained sentience so they can find him specifically, not only is it terrifying, it is very dangerous. Most may not have emotions and so the intentions will be anything but good and they will have little hesitation or regard for anything standing in their way. Things can get dark and even deadly very quickly. Luigi won't want to do anything with any of them but that didn't stop the villains from doing the introductions, the artifacts won't allow themselves to be stopped from reaching their goal. They would also go straight for Luigi's soul and try to attached themselves to it so tightly that they'd make it nearly impossible to be removed from him.

Also about Sailor Moon. I have not watched a single episode of it and before you kill me and not even give me a grave hear me out. They did not have it on Greek TV when I was little and I only found out you can watch pirated anime for free when I was a teen. Plus, I'm very picky with what anime I watch and since Sailor Moon was so popular then that it was thrown at my face, I had no interest in it. But I am getting to the phase where I might give it a shot when I'm extremely bored and want background noise.

[quackle]

So what’s your final opinion of Disventure Camp All-Star now that it comes to a end?

Also regarding winner, you are right! They didn’t go with “Who deserved to win” and tons of fans are piss off.

and so we have made it to the end. dcas is officially over... sobbing a lil at that fact. now. finale rambles under the cut (tldr: 7/10 season):

i think dcas was pretty nice for what it gave. i know a lot of people think it's shit, and i do nod my head at most concerns i've seen through posts on here and elsewhere. but idk. i had a relatively good time these past couple of months while watching!

let's start with...

Things I Liked:

The Main Premise (and in extension, Riya's Story) — this season showed that it truly wasn't about who deserved to win, it was about who wanted it most. and riya wanted it badly, to the point where it changed her for the worst whenever a camera was around. it took me until ally's elimination to see the direction this season was going (so... basically near the end LOL), but once it clicked, i was like. wowie. this is a bold choice of a winner. and interesting as fuckkkk, despite it not being hinted at as much as i hoped it would near the beginning. i don't think i've ever seen someone who is deemed as a villain be the only winner of a show like this. no alt endings or anything, just a villain win that sort of translates into a loss when you really think about how nobody is in riya's corner anymore. i know people (mostly riya fans) were disappointed with how sad and slightly open ended riya's conclusion arc was, but i personally can't be that upset at it. rosa maria's message during her elimination in season 2 really hit here. riya let the game change her, and though she won three million dollars, she has absolutely nobody (except potentially her sister eesha, but even still, that's not the best way for things to end for her). tis the way the cookie crumbles. i'm glad the writing team decided to go with this instead of the jake ending like thank GOODNESS for the proofreaders omg this is what proofreaders are for!!! (also. i'm clearly biased to the 'faking in front of cameras/others just to become a realer version of oneself once that's tested' characters in particular. look at my icon rn. i think you can understand why i'm such a big fan of this)

Allyson Amber— obligatory ally mention LOL. i think i already rambled enough on why i love ally so so so much as a character, so i will avoid. today. just know that opinion still stands.

Voice Acting— i am not a voice actor, just a voice actor enthusiast, so idk how much my words truly mean here. but i absolutely loveeeee the vocal direction this season went. best vocal performance in the whole series thus far. i can tell each actor + anybody on the voicing team worked hard to deliver! each character's voice really fit and everyone is so talented. hashtag i love connecting voices to characters. i'm excited for s4 voices ahhhh <3

The Grett + Gabby Friendship— we had her for like a good two eps and it still solo'd. going from what had happened in season 1 to what happened in season 3 was chef's kiss. it showed that both grett and gabby grew as characters throughout their whole journey on dc. idk i just love their bond so much, hashtag thank you for adding that.

and now...

Things I have Mixed Feelings About:

Gabby and Ally's Elimination— am i that mad that they ultimately left? eh not really, especially after i learned what type of story onc was aiming to tell this season. but am i mad about how they left? absolutely. because it was bullshitttttt omg. last minute, out of nowhere changes that cause eliminations of characters will never fail to piss me off. personally. even if real life is unfair like this too. (i'm only human LOL let me live)

TomJake Plot-Line— the good news (?) is that i don't find it absolutely mind-numbingly awful anymore. jake's cool. tom's okay. so overall, now i just think the plot is thee definition of mid. improvement! but still mid! i think certain ships in media are not for me, and this is one of em. sorry tomjakers, they should have had a meaningful conversation a long ass time ago. (also why tf they the finale thumbnail like MOVEEEEE with yall yaoi moment /lh)

Connor's Marriage— not that big of a deal, props to connor for finallyyyyyyy retiring from his savior complex (like i genuinely clapped for him cause that was a LONGGGGGG time coming), but a record scratch DID go off in my head when i saw that lol wedding pic. like OH... okay! congrats? i guess? (idek why i had this reaction or why i'm even writing about it lol, connor is Just Okay to me so)

Certain Lack of Character Interactions— i know this is a parody of reality TV and the show can only do so much, especially for characters that got eliminated early on. and i know i can quite literally go on something like ao3 and either find some fic that caters to my tastes or create it myself. but i frowned a lil when i realized certain characters wouldn't talk that much canonically. the curse of an all stars season is that they're bringing back some of the best characters this series has to offer. so when i don't get to see them interact, i go "aww. fair. but aww." (biggest examples here would be grett and hunter during the returnee challenge (because they can serve as interesting parallels (why would they finally make me gaf about hunter just to make him have like 30 seconds of lines ugh onc i am GLARING)), and jake and tess in general (the slightly healed meets the destructive work in progress. the difference in mental health journeys and how they can reflect within gameplay + outside convos. we coulda squeezed a lil somethin here. for me.))

Ellie's Plot-Line— one of the main reasons why i found ellie so compelling as a character is because the choices she made, both good and bad, all connected with her need for money due to being a college student who's not that well off. so to see that written off at the end was... well. eh? like cool, she's got gabby and grett, and they do matter the most, and i loveeeee their bond, but like. girly is a student in nyc and losing all that money is fucking huge. (i think it's mostly the bad pacing here, so i'm not giving it too much critique)

Grett's Plot-Line— onc introduced that whole tree scene (one of my fav scenes btw), and i thought that was so inspiring. "oh my gosh, i can't wait to see grett shine after she was constantly disrespected by some fucker that should have gotten his ass beat a long ass time ago!" i exclaimed. and then, she was eliminated. look. i get the whole premise of this season. i like it, too. so even though i think grett deserved to win the most, i can understand why the writers didn't have her win. BUT i think they should have written her arc with way more care and attention. if anything, i remember more harmful moments than good. grett deserved better than that. to me.

Huntally Plot-Line— i like huntally. and i wish it was written a bit better. it felt... rushed in comparison to other things we've seen here. granted, they couldn't do as much as others when hunter was eliminated so quickly, but still. meh overall.

and finally...

Things I Didn't Like:

The Staffs' Plot-Line— yall. the way i grew to not give a singular fuck about this plot... i saw people complain about tomjake screen time or jake screentime or ally vs jake screentime or connor vs riya screentime or riya screentime. which, okay whatever i guess. but LOOK AT THE REAL CULPRITS HERE... they're already getting a spinoff, idgaf about some staff when i won't be able to see some of the contestants ever again after this season!!! trevek irritated the absolute hell outta me, kristal made me side eye, marcus, nina and oliver were there i guess, and emily? man. i think that alone needs another bullet point hold on-

Emily's Plot-line (if you can even call it that)— yes, yes, i already know, emily was terrible, this was shown in the very first ep, she was never supposed to be rooted for, blahblahblah. but why. why did she decide to help yul. why did she decide to help trevor. why is she helping men so much. why did she turn so cartoonishly evil in the end. why is she like that. it's so uncanny to me. it just feels like she's more of a plot device that she is a character, which makes her fall so fucking flat. it blows. to me.

The Therapist Characters— ashley and tess are the biggest examples of this. not to say that friends irl don't ask this question, but fuck, did i get tired of hearing "are you ok?" or "what's wrong?" or "here let me give you some advive." it feels like such a reduction of their characters, which really sucks considering they didn't get much characterization in comparison to other characters in the first place.

"Be the Bigger Person, Ally"— okay. the more i think about this the more it pisses me off. this is a quote from episode 18, where connor tells ally to be the bigger person in her whole situation with jake. now riddle me this, chat. why is it that connor only tells ally to be the bigger person, then a few minutes later when talking to jake, he goes "oh there's only so much i can accomplish with jake" in the confessional? you didn't even reiterate the same words old man. that makes it seem like ally should do more and adjust what she deems as okay and not okay, just so her tension with jake can dwindle, while jake gets a sigh and a slap on the wrist and a "welp i tried." despite her more immature reactions later on during this plot, ally had every right to be bitter toward someone who kept snapping at her and giving her attitude because no good communication was being used to explain why he kept doing that. instead, i wish the message could have been something like "communicate, then try to insert yourself in their shoes so you can understand each other better because you're more alike than you think" to BOTH ally and jake, because this conflict involves BOTH of them, and needs to be worked on by BOTH of them, not just by one damn party. (i could dive into shit like the sexism connotations of the message "be the bigger person" only being directed to the female character here, but ehhhh, not today + people would think i'm overreacting when i know i'm not)

Yul— look, even if i put the whole slur slinging slanger incident that occurred to the side, i still was not a fan of how yul was portrayed here for that long. idgaf if he's sometimes funny. it just made me feel uncomfy seeing such a disrespectful piece of shit get this far with a burn to the face that didn't even stay permanently. like oh so emily can be in bandages for "a year or two," but bigot mcgee here gets off burn free? okay. don't piss me off. and yes, i understand his sponsorship ending where he's still acting fake because "it doesn't matter to him whether he's liked or not," and i know he serves as an okay parallel to james at best. but personallyyyyy if we were going with the whole "yul is the worst type of famous person imaginable" angle, you could have at least made the consequences of his actions stick to his face forevermore. (that's like the only thing they got right with endeavor from my hero like come on)

and that's about it. i think. overall, i'd give this season a solid 7. i know it looks like there's more stuff i didn't like or felt indifferent about,but i just feel like i have to explain my distastes a little more so people can understand me pfft. but yeah, it's not too bad of a season, even if i side eye some things.

and i'm looking forward to season four! from what i've seen, from the short character dialogues in the voice acting tryouts (ruby save me), to the potential storyboarded scene of the setting (abandoned carnival vibes???), i am most certainly sat. i really hope onc improves from here on out :)

[episodeoftv]

Round 1 of 6, Group 2 of 4

propaganda is under the cut (424 words) - may contain spoilers

summaries (pulled from imdb or wikis)

propaganda

Doctor Who - 12.10 The Timeless Children

In the epic and emotional season finale, the Cybermen are on the march. As the last remaining humans are ruthlessly hunted down, Graham, Ryan and Yaz face a terrifying fight to survive. Civilisations fall. Others rise anew. Lies are exposed, truths are revealed, battles are fought, and for the Doctor - trapped and alone - nothing will ever be the same again.

this finale is shit!! absolute ass! nothing happens in it for it to justify having such a cool name. the master captures the doctor, shows her a slideshow that amounts to ‘‘you’re adopted!! :)" doctor breaks out of her matrix prison thing by overloading it with memories when the matrix is The Supercomputer and it’s used to hold all memories of all time lords ever? you know, the species whove been doing their thing for a billion years and live up to 10,000 years? the doctors new memories should either already be there or make nary a dent in it. the doctor’s like ‘‘why would they do that! why would they lie?’’ girl they have been lying to you since forever. they killed you once. theyve tried to kill you so many times. they turned you into a fucked up anti time monster that one time. one of the doctors past past selves even told her it doesnt really matter!! what was even the point

Our Flag Means Death - 2.08 Mermen

cw: vomit

Stede, Zheng, Spanish Jackie and the rest of the Revenge crew team up to take down a nefarious common enemy threatening the world of piracy.

1) paced like a runaway train, worst actor kiss i've seen in all my years, weird resolutions for two newly-introduced characters who started with lots of potential but ended up with no narrative payoff. (spoilers) removed a really strong actor/character from an overwhelmingly mediocre cast and caused a giant rift in the fandom with some (falsely) claiming that the major character death was bury-your-gays, homophobic, ableist, etc. and that they were done with the show (we'll see about that), and others claiming it made perfect sense to kill off this character because he was "ready to die"

2) Season 1 was so promising, and set up so much! Season 2 SEEMED like it was gonna fulfill some of that promise... That is, of course, until they squandered all of those loose plot threads, character moments, potential arcs, etc. in a half-assed episode that was basically all filler and ended with one of the most unsatisfying, pointless, and unemotional deaths of TV that gave us all 'Dean with the rusty nail' flashbacks. Even the *seagull* got a better death. Not even the canon ship felt satisfying!! Their kiss and ending was extremely rushed and they didn't actually go anywhere from the end of S1.

3) Least of all it was all very rushed. More importantly Izzy was absolutely fucked and his death didn’t make sense with the writing of the rest of the series. Ed en Stede’s character development throughout the season got thrown away for some ”happy” ending which would’ve been better if they just stayed with the crew.

[mobumi]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, i started to write my answer and completely forgot about it. It's been in my drafts for months, i feel so bad omg! 😭 It was also really difficult to choose and i have only two female characters i am truly ashamed... But thank you very much for this ask, it was fun!

Here's my top 10! 😊

1. Mob/Kageyama Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100 - Anime)

I love him so much! I think he has the most wonderful character development in any anime i've watched! He has such a pure soul and compared to other shonen MCs, he just wants to be a normal teenager and be happy. So much growth and strength with this character, i love it! The series finale was incredible and I was so happy for my boy🥹

2. Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen - Anime)

I think he's an interesting character with so much potential for the future. I love the way he always appears reserved and cold but he's actually a softie on the inside and how his own sense of justice contrasts with Yuji. He's just a pretty cool character and stronger than he appears to be and he cares so much about his friends. Haven't read the manga but currently watching season 2 so I'm excited about what's in store for him!

3. Dream of the Endless (The Sandman - TV)

New favorite character alert!! Not a surprise 'cause my favorites are always the cold and broody ones tbh I just love how Dream is so imperfect and still learning and his whole vibe, the long black coat and the emo hair like he's in a indie rock band is just chef's kiss! Incredible character on the show, so charismatic and mesmerizing.

4. Five (The Umbrella Academy - TV)

At this point, there's a pattern here. Maybe it's because i'm an INTJ myself, but Five seems like he's very INTJ to me. It's just the whole attitude and the way he calculates and plans everything, very rational and precise, sarcastic and (though pretty mean sometimes), exactly how i like my characters! All his scenes are top tier and his power is very cool (not explored enough on the show unfortunately.)

5. Minho (The Maze Runner - Book series)

The sarcastic character? Asian as main? Hell yes! Finally more Asian representation and not stereotyped! The book series would have not been as good without him! I was pretty gutted when he was barely there in the Death Cure movie, but Ki Hong Lee was so great as Minho, he perfectly captured his smug and smartass attitude that I fell in love with. He's also very courageous and loyal to his friends which I love too. Overall a very cool character!

6. Deadpool/ Wade Wilson (Deadpool - Comics/Movies)

Deadpool is just Deadpool... Bro he's just vibing killing people or whatever. He's completely unhinged, crazy, over the top and just a fun ride. Pansexual king! What else can I say, he's just one of my favorite comic book characters ❤️

7. Miles Morales (Spiderman - Comics/Movies)

Another comic book character in my list. Miles is a cool addition to the Spiderverse and the movies they made are just INCREDIBLE! The animation, everything is top notch. Also Miles is very relatable and has an intesresting development. You get attached to him quickly and he's just so lovable, idk he's my son, i stan.

8. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf - TV)

Honestly asfghjkl!! I've always loved this character, more so when i was a teenager watching Teen Wolf. Looking back now, the show was not that good but at the time I was pretty obsessed. Stiles was everything i loved about a character: funny, sarcastic, entertaining, likable... He made the show a lot better and kept me watching! He's low on this list only because i'm not into Teen Wolf as much as i was back in the day.

9. Sana Bakkoush (Skam - TV)

She's so cool?? I wish i had been like that when i was a teenager, well for the most part lol. I really like her unbothered attitude and her snarky comments. She is fierce, not afraid to say what she thinks and is loyal to her friends and trustworthy. She's a teenager who has still a lot to learn but she's already wise for her age and just a good character overall. I really like female characters who are confident and charismatic! Her season wasn't perfect, but for me she was the best character in the whole series 😊

10. Sidney Adamu (The Bear - TV)

She's last on the list mostly because she's a new favorite, but she's very cool. I can relate to her, she's fresh and real, she knows her worth, she's courageous, hard-working and just very lovable as a character! Sydney captivated me from the beginning and her scenes were always my favorites. Haven't finished season 2 yet but I can't wait to see where her character goes! ✨

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Headcanon Fifth and Tenth Division Officers

So, after a chat with @alexiethymia, I got the urge to write up a list of every division officer I've ever made up for the sake of a story. There was a time where I wouldn't have ever bothered even naming an officer (just referring to them as 'officer' or by their rank), but that's changed over the years. So, for perhaps no one's enjoyment but my own, here are all the officers who I've made up in my fics.

Quick notes before we start: according to the BLEACH wiki and chapter 119, the ranks 11-20 can be occupied by more than one officer, so you might see me saying things like 'one of Fifth Division's twelfth seats' for instance.

Some of the info here is just things I was thinking of at the time I was writing fics these characters appear in, such as what their first names might be or their backgrounds.

Finally, I'll be including pictures and gifs of characters from other series just to give you can idea what these officers look like.

Tomoko Suzuki: Fifth Division's only seventeenth seat. She's appeared in Petrichor and As Months Go By, As Seasons Change:

She's a hard worker, responsible, observant, and unafraid to give her views on something or ask a question.

She's quick to follow orders and makes a decent leader, but can sometimes be a little too stubborn once she sets her mind to something and can be rash in battle when she has to protect someone.

She's from a lesser noble family comprised of just herself, her mother, and father.

She has a deep respect for Momo, and the two have known each other since Momo first became a seated officer, Although slow to come around to Shinji as her captain (having been scarred by Aizen's betrayal like everyone else in her division), she's come to greatly respect him too.

Her shikai, as seen in Petrichor, has the ability to numb whatever it cuts, causing the target to experience paresthesia (or 'pins-and-needles') and potentially paralysis through whichever nerves were struck. Depending on the size of the opponent, this can last from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. Her sword doesn't change much in appearance expect for the golden stripe that runs down the middle of the blade.

I imagined her as being a bit older than Momo, with dark green-grey hair kept in a long braid on her shoulder, dark grey eyes, and round-framed glasses (which she needs to see short-distance). She looks most like an older version of Mei Shijima from Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun.

Kobe Abiko: an unseated Fifth Division officer. He appears in the first part of As Months Go By, As Seasons Change and in Petrichor

At the time of writing him, I imagined him as someone who's nervous around authority and about proving why he's worthy of being a Shinigami.

He was one of the younger graduates in his year and has yet to achieve shikai.

Momo sympathizes with him for his nervousness.

In terms of appearance, he looks any background BLEACH character, so take your pick!

Katsuro Hoshino: Fifth Division's eighth seat. He appears in part 2 of As Months Go By, As Seasons Change and makes a cameo in For What the Future Holds. I actually went into a surprising amount of detail for him in that story:

He's from one of the lower districts and has no family or friends from there. Because of this, he rarely has any inclination to go visit where he used to live.

He's always looking to improve himself, so he often asks for feedback on his training, performance on team missions, or where he's lacking.

Because of this, he's a perfectionist. If he ever messes up, he insists on correcting his mistake. If he ever got praised for something, he’d ask how he could make it better.

Shinji suspects all of this stems from the fact he's from one of lower districts, as in his experiences people from those districts tend to be ambitious and need to provide for those back home.

In reality, Katsuro is just ambitious by nature, but his environment definitely made him want to live a better life than he did when he first arrived in the Soul Society.

I can see him being a fan of Izuru's haiku poems. I'd like to think he got to meet him in person thanks to Momo and he internally fanboys throughout the exchange.

In appearance, he has pale skin, light grey eyes, and platinum blond hair. I imagine him being an older version of Ojiro from Boku no Hero Academia, but taller, thinner, and with his hair slicked back

Fuyuka Hirose: one of Fifth Division's two twelfth seats. She's mentioned in For All That Was Lost and Momo comes to pay her respects at her grave in To Give You Shelter. She makes a brief appearance in Unwavering Light:

She first came to the Fifth division 32 years before the main story and rose up the ranks due to her excellent zanjutsu skills and for harnessing her shikai to almost it's full potential.

I haven't thought about what exactly her shikai would be, but if I had to take a guess, it'd be an earth-based zanpakuto with a power that involves the smell of flowers, with each smell having a different effect on the opponent - one makes them dizzy, another causes them to break out in sores, etc - but there would be one that can be crushed and used as a healing agent (kind of like Minazuki's stomach acids). It's main weakness is, of course, that once an opponent figures out it's the smell affecting them, they just have to cover their nose. Also, it has the potential to affect allies too.

She likes to wear earrings (like these ones) and used to wear a single long earring that was one of her most prized possessions in her right ear. However, after a mission where she almost lost her ear in battle because of it, she only wore the earring on special occasions from then on.

Her favourite fruit is nashi pears.

She loves gardening, and is often seen taking care of the Fifth Division's gardens in her free time. She asks Momo if she can gather a group together to do gardening every few months, and Momo will sometimes join in if she was free.

While on a posting in a seaside town, she heard about a flower festival the locals liked to go to in the countryside; she made it a goal to attend it whenever she is next on a mission in the World of the Living.

She dies in the TYBW arc during the first invasion.

Her gardening work is carried on by those who used to be part of her gardening groups.

I imagined her having short brown hair that varied in length over the years (it was never longer than above the shoulder) and lavender-coloured eyes. She has a birthmark on her left forearm that usually kept hidden by her shihakuso sleeve. I think the closest character to look like her is Meryl from Trigun, maybe a younger version of the character

Ohashi: one of Fifth Division's twelfth seats. They appear in It's Been a While:

They were originally a thirteenth seat but were promoted after the war.

I can't remember what gender I thought of them as being at the time, so I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Funai: one of Fifth Division's fifteenth seats. He's mentioned in For All That Was Lost and appearance in Unwavering Light:

I think at the time I thought his first name would be Tsunemi, which has a few spellings, but I went with the one with the characters 常見 (I think together the characters mean 'usual/ordinary, see').

He's a painter, and usually paints landscapes; his skills are so good a few of his artworks are on display in the Fifth Division and he's been encouraged by many officers to sell his works.

Momo offers him tips on how to draw human anatomy while he helps her improve her nature drawings.

He has a small crush on Hirose, and he's one of the first people she ropes into being a part of her gardening groups.

While on a mission in the World of the Living, he first saw a ferris wheel and decided the next time he visited he would ride one; Momo suspects this is because he wanted to get a good view of a landscape or cityscape for a painting.

He dies in the TYBW during the second invasion.

He's survived by a younger adoptive brother who is in another division. He has requested to be transferred to Fifth Division to carry on his brother's legacy, but Shinji is reluctant as he wants the brother to live out his own life and not the life of someone else.

In appearance, he has tanned skin, thick dark auburn hair, brown eyes, and wears a black corded necklace with an engraved silver pendant on the end (much like this; the engraving he has is of a kanji characters which translate to 'keep moving forward', a mantra he had while growing up in the Rukongai). Funnily enough, Kubo ended up drawing how I imagined him a little when he drew the OG Gotei 13; the closest character to his appearance is Danjiro, former captain of Fifth Division (maybe they're related?!)

Hoga and Domen: Fifth Division officers who both hold the rank of twentieth seat (they share it with 4 others). They are mentioned in For All That Was Lost:

Domen I saw as being a man with the first name Zenzo (spelt 全三, with the character together meaning 'all, three'), while Hoga has the first name Sakae (spelt 栄 and meaning 'prosperity') and I saw the character at first as also a man but at other times as a woman, so you decide.

Both want to go to a beach in the World of the Living as neither of them had seen the sea before. While there, they also want to go to the bars and see if the drinks taste any different from those in the Rukongai.

They are big drinkers, and it'd be unusual for them to not go drinking at least once a week.

They were rivals once, often competing against each other at the Academy. Their rivalry was often viewed negatively by others, but to both of them it was a show of respect, that they saw the other as being of equal footing and worthy of competing against.

After graduating, their rivalry started to flourish into a friendship. They went to different divisions, until they ended up in the Fifth Division with the same rank.

That doesn't mean they're not competitive with each other anymore. They often challenge each other to do things, much to the division's enjoyment and sometimes chagrin.

They both die in the TYBW arc during the first invasion. Those that knew them were glad to learn that it appears they died fighting together.

I don't really have much to say for their appearances, but I imagine they'd both be almost 6 feet tall and look like they're in their mid to late twenties. Domen has a thick, bleach-blonde mullet (he originally had black hair, but he chose to colour it because he thought it's make him look 'cool'), while Hoga has black hair tied back in a short ponytail with bangs on either side of his/her face. If I had to pick characters that they most look like, Domen looks like Onizuka Eikichi and and Hoga looks like Danma Ryuji (if a man) from Shonan Junai Gumi.

Higuchi: Fifth Division's seventh seat. He appears in A Matter of the Heart, Petrichor, It's Him, and Unwavering Light.

I never thought of a first name for him, but I think Katsuo (勝雄, the characters together meaning 'victory, hero/manly') would be a good fit.

In It's Him, he's one of zombie Hitsugaya's victims. If this were still the case in the canon story line, he'd live but have a scar on his body and struggle for a short time to look at Hitsugaya. In A Matter of the Heart, he gets pretty emotional and riled up when he brings up Momo is one of the detention cells. So, yeah, needless to say he has a bit of a tense view of Tenth Division's captain.

He's a burly guy, definitely one of the bigger men in the Fifth Division, and often asked to lift things by Shinji as a result - such as new furniture to move in or supplies for the reconstruction efforts in the ten year time skip.

He's also a bit paternal, always looking out for the younger recruits and acting as a father figure to some fellow officers. He became protective of everyone in the division after Aizen's betrayal, including Momo. Needless to say, he was distrustful of Shinji at first, and was very slow to come around to him being his captain.

He was transferred from Ninth Division to Fifth when Aizen was still in charge. Given what happened with Aizen and Tosen, he wonders sometimes if the transfer was part of Aizen's plan.

While in Ninth Division, he was an editor for the Seireitei Communication. He sometimes misses the role and has tried multiple times to get a column in the magazine going, but his ideas are often derivative of other writers (such as Sui Feng's 'I'll Do Anything to Live' and Renji's 'Let's Do Shikai!!').

After the war, he finally tied to knot with 'his misses' (a resident in the Rukongai he's known since they met at a festival decades ago). Shinji was delighted when he said he wanted to host the after party at the Fifth Division, and it came as a much needed morale boost during the reconstruction efforts. To this day, he still gushes about her when he's drunk.

In appearance, Higuchi is muscular and tall (standing at over 6 feet) and he is a little older than Shinji. He has short dark hair, bushy eyebrows, and facial hair that he sometimes grows out but most keeps shaven. He looks a lot like the younger version of Tamiya Gantetsusai from Hell's Paradise.

Yumi Takagaki: one of Fifth Division's five thirteenth seats. She makes a cameo in Petrichor.

She's good friends with Narita from Tenth Division, who she met at the Academy. She's also good friends with Hirose and Hoga, the latter of whom she remembers from her district as a neighbour.

In appearance, she has light brown hair tied back in a bun with a beaded ribbon that's ends rest on her shoulders and dark green eyes.

Chiyoko Imai: Fifth Division's Tenth seat. She appears in An Unwavering Light:

She's one of the older members of the division, having been a Shinigami since before Shinji's tenure as captain. However, she wasn't transferred to Fifth Division until the second last year of Shinji's captaincy over 110 years ago, where she was one of Fifteenth seats.

She has been in various divisions, including Tenth, Third, and Seventh. Fifth Division has been her longest posting.

She's known to be elegant in the way she walks and gestures. Even something as simple as picking up a cup is done in a way that makes one think she is from a noble house. However, she came from one of the middle districts in the Rukongau, and has attributed her way of walking and doing things to her years as a dancer before she became a Shinigami.

She continues to dance by offering classes to the women of the division on occasion. She also goes performances at festivals and special division events.

She has mentored a several of the officers in the Fifth Division, notably Hoshino and Hirose, the latter of whom still comes to her for advice on training and life.

She also admired Aizen, though no where near to the degree Momo did, and was one of the few willing to welcome Shinji back when he returned to be captain of the division.

Due to her many years of experience, she has become proficient in zanjutsu and is know for having a fierce glare when in combat or training. It's so fierce some of the newer recruits are afraid to train with her.

Despite her prowess in combat, she has never had any great ambitions on becoming a seated officer. When the previous occupant of the Tenth seat retired, she was one of the candidates considered due to her control of her Shikai and high skills in zanjutsu. When she got the role, she was surprised and felt like an imposter for the first year of her tenure. She's been in the position for over fifty years.

In appearance, she has tanned skin, dark brown eyes, and black hair with a grey streak that she alternates between keeping loosely tied back or out. When not on a mission or training, she wears makeup and has a penchant for bright eye shadows. The closest character she looks like would be a slightly older version of Ayuko Hayami from Golden Boy.

Takaya: before I knew about Genji, she was Fifth Division third seat in A Matter of the Heart. I have since gone back and edited her out, and she now one of their Fifteenth seats. She makes a cameo appearance in For What the Future Holds.

Minagawa: Tenth Divison's third seat. He makes a cameo in It's Been a While.

His first name is Yusuke, spelt 勇祐 and the characters together [I think based on what I searched] to mean 'courage, to help'.

He's an affable person who Toshiro and Rangiku know they can rely on to run the division if they ever need him to. He shares traits with each of his superiors, having the hardwork ethic and focus of his captain and is as observant about those around him as Rangiku.

He came to the Soul Society as a teenager and was sent to the Sakahone (East 76th) district. Like most residents, he worshiped Mimihagi.

He had anger issues and was prone to getting into fights with the teens and adults in the district when he first arrived. He still has a few scars from these fights.

Like most in the division, he has friends and family he will do anything to protect. He had a large adoptive family (3 sisters and 3 brothers) and was one of only three family members that had spiritual potential. They all took on the same surname to show they were a family.

The first member of his family he met was his youngest sister, who saved from being caught by the adults that were pursing him. He then met his two younger brothers when they helped him in a fight, his older sister after she was abandoned by her original caretakers, his second young sister when he helped her win a fight, and his older brother when he helped lead one of his younger brothers and youngest sister back to him.

Two of his brothers died during a Hollow attack, and his second sister passed away from illness not long after. These deaths made him vow to become strong enough to protect his family, and he prayed to Mimihagi every day to grant him the strength he needed to protect everyone he cherishes.

He was in Rangiku's year, but the two didn't really interact until they ended up in the same division.

He ended up in Thirteenth Division, where he learned to manage his anger issues and [under Jushiro and Kaien's leadership] adopted the philosophy that true strength comes from the bonds one makes rather than brute strength or talent. Until then, he basically thought 'What good are bonds if I don't the strength to protect them?' He'd been so focused on becoming stronger through fighting and harnessing his spiritual potential that he hadn't realised he'd been growing distant form his family.

He got transferred to Tenth Division upon Kaien's recommendation, as he thought he'd be a good for the division (in terms of personal goals and personality).

He's known Toshiro since the latter came to the Tenth Division. They've been on numerous missions together, and he saved his future captain during a battle against Huge Hollows. He has the scar on his bicep to prove it.

While working together as seated officers, Minagawa saw some of himself in Toshiro, but also saw the inverse of his own situation - rather than strive to obtain the power to protect those he cares about, Toshiro had immense power he needed to reign in in order to keep those he cared about safe.

When Toshiro became a captain, their relationship changed. Once Mingawa would treat him almost like a younger brother, but now it's more like friendly workmates. Every now and then he goes back to their 'old routine' though.

He actually doesn't have all that much to do most of the time, as Toshiro is too much of a hard worker. He's often tried to get his captain to let him complete some of the paperwork for him, fearing (like many in the division) he's overworking himself. For the most part, he checks in on subordinates, oversees training, and assigns Shinigami/patrols in the Rukongai and World of the Living. Rangiku convinces Mingawa to loosen up a little when he's working too hard and come drinking with her if she can't get the lieutenants or captains to go with her.

He has a pet parakeet who lives in his room named Taiyo. On his breaks and in his spare time, he takes Taiyo out and wonders around the division with him on his shoulder. He was a gift from Minagawa's family to congratulate him on becoming third seat.

He lost his left pinkie and ring fingers in the TYBW arc during the second invasion (the pinkie is completely gone, while he still has up to the second knuckle of his ring finger). Twelfth Division supplied him with a special glove that has prosthetic fingers within and ensures can still perform kido spells that require both hands.

I've written a lot for him here, and yet he's only made a cameo in one fic! XD I'll see if I can include him in my next one.

In appearance, he looks like his in his late twenties or early thirties and has slightly tanned skin, thick and wavy hair with a shortish fringe over one side of his face (in terms of colour, I've imagined him with black hair but also dark red hair, so who knows, maybe he got a dye job at one point), dark coloured eyes, and he wears a few things in his left wrist, include a woven bracelet his youngest sister made. He has several scars, all of which aren't visible when he wears his uniform except for one that runs from edge of his right eyebrow and angles to end near his ear (he got this from a Hollow and was lucky to survive).

In To know Love, Toshiro observes that he glances at an officer from the Thirteenth Division named Mako. Could this be love? ;D

He's actually shown up in the anime! Okay, well, not quite, but I got a shock when I rewatched the scene where Toshiro asks to be trained in zanjutsu and saw a background character that looks so much like how I imagined him.

Kenichi Hanae: Tenth Division's fourth seat. He appears in Petrichor.

He grew up in one of the higher districts and was adopted by a couple who run a restaurant. His family comprises of his mother, father, his grandfather, and an older brother.

Before he became a Shinigami, he worked with this parents in the restaurant and learned how to cook. Because of this, he's ended up as one of the divisions best cooks, though he rarely gets to show it off because his rank requires him to stay away from the kitchen.

He's taken many division members to his family's restaurant, including Toshiro and Rangiku.

In appearance, he appears to be in his late thirties with an olive skintone and looks like some BLEACH background characters, so keep picking!

Furakawa: Tenth Division's ninth seat. He appears in It's Been a While, where he may or may have not made a not-so-great lunch for his sick captain.

If I had to pick a given name for him, it'd be Atsuto, spelt 篤人 and together the characters supposedly meaning 'fervent/kind/serious/deliberate, person'.

He's an anxious and sensitive person, often startled when something suddenly happens.

He failed to get into the Academy four times, but managed to scrape in on his fifth attempt.

He has two childhood friends back in the Rukongai. He became a Shinigami so he could provide for them with the money he earns. He keeps in contact with them through writing and infrequent visits.

He, along with the majority of the division, notice the connection between his captain and Momo. He supports them for sure, but he gets more nervous than usually when he sees them together. One time he walked in on the two them having a chat, and he apologized profusely and rushed out of the room.

He's a not a good cook.

He looks like most BLEACH background character, so take hour pick again!

Narita: one of Tenth Division's eleventh seats. She makes a cameo in Petrichor.

Never thought of a first name for her, but I think Ageha would be a good fit (spelt 愛華羽 and [according to my searches] the characters together mean 'affection, flower/petal/splendor, feathers').

She's an empathetic soul, and her friends back in the Ruokngai feared she wouldn't be a good fit as a Shinigami due to the violence she'd have to experience. However, if it's to protect souls, she isn't afraid to fight.

She applied for Fourth Division, but ended up in Tenth due her kido skills not being up to Fourth Division's standards. She still hopes to be transferred to there one day, but in the meantime focuses on improving her kido.

She likes to play shogi and practices ikebana in her spare time. She gives finished bouquets to her friends or Rangiku has them displayed around the division.

She's good friends with Fifth Division's Yumi Takagaki, who she met at the Academy. She's actually pretty friendly with everyone in the division, no one has anything bad to say about her.

In appearance, she looks like she's in her early to mid twenties and has long, black, straight hair she keeps in a side ponytail on one shoulder and blue eyes. The closest character that comes to her in appearance is [an older looking] Momo Yaoyorozu from Boku No Hero Academia.

And that's all as far as I can remember! If you made it to the end of this post, thank you for taking the time to read it all the way through! i appreciate any and all thoughts on these characters of course, or if you have some of your own characters, I'd love to read about them! :D

[anukkuna]

Oderbruch

As many people, I too get new TV recs from my Tumblr Dash (among other places), so i watched "Oderbruch".

Find my thoughts and potential Spoilers under the cut!

First of all: my overall conclusion is that I really liked the show. It didn't captivate me as much as, say, the first season of Dark, but it was an entertaining February watch for me.

I also went into the show completely unspoilered, I didn't know anything besides the mystery crime genre and who the three lead actors were and I think, for me, that was a good thing.

So, if you enjoy mystery-crime as a genre, liked shows like Dark, with some supernatural elements and intergenerational conflicts, I'd recommend that you watch the show first and without spoilers.

For everyone who is ready to be spoilered, I made lists of things I liked, didn't like, what I found ambiguous, things that surprised me etc.:

I liked:

The vampire rework. I'm not an expert on these, but I like that the vampires age when they don't consume blood (or only animal blood). Also you can't turn anyone, you have to be born a vampire.

The main plottwist that our protagonist is a vampire too. I didn't see this coming.

How they set this in eastern German no man's land.

That the series started with a bang, with not just one dead body but with a biiiiiiig pile. A mount. Bring it on!

Many connections the characters had. It's very villiage-y. I liked many of the intergenerational conflicts as well.

The ensemble cast. I knew some faces from Tatort, Polizeiruf, Das Boot, Dark and other German TV productions.

I liked that Maggie and Roland were past lovers and recent friends with history. Roland was helping an old friend with whom he shared a lot(!) - but he is portrayed as honest and faithful and never questions his loyalty to his wife and kids. Romantic relationships are not the main focus and not needed between the main characters.

All of the Chekov's X turned out to be relevant to the plot. Give us a close-up and we'll be sure to look out for: mom's flask, numerous weapons, even glass shards and side characters.

The voice change of "Adrian". Omfg, well played!

I didn't like:

The vampire "ethics". Maybe because I thought about this not so long ago... but: were there any? What message were they trying to bring across?? Is this gonna turn out as a questionable pledge for naturalistic morals (aka the Right is with the Strong)?

Kai says about the leeches: "nobody likes them, though they're good for the eco-system"... considering what these vampires do and to whom... are we supposed to think this about them as well? That's it's good that they feed on people who won't be missed? That it's justified how they treat the kids in the school?

Also, the whole shaky wolves-and-sheep-analogy: "the strong eat the week. It's simply our nature. You can't fight against this." I know it's mostly Stoian... but still. I guess, my final verdict on this depends on season two.

That Maggie didn't thoroughly finish Stoian off. I mean... come on! Cut him in half with your sword, as you did with the other one ffs!

The vampires' focus on finding a female to breeeeeeeed. WTF happened to the female vampires? How long haven't they been around that these guys write very old poems about it in their "code"? Is there really such an overall lack of vampire? Doesn't it seem kind of a bold assumption by Maggie's mom that they are supposed to be "the last two"?

Ambiguous:

With regards to the last point I made: maybe this is the line where you have to suspend disbelief. LeavIng some of these Story bits unexplained and not everything has to be logical, cause it's mystery... it's up to you if that's a premise you'll feel satisfied with and ethical implications you know what to make of.

The show is mostly SHOW and very, very little tell. That means: characters are harder to get because often they will just stare, maybe grind their teeth, frown, etc. That leaves room for interpretation but also for uncertainty and some of the characters thoughts and motives. Depends on you, if it's something you like (I did).

My overall recommendation still stands though: watch it, but be prepared.

Alright, so long for this one, people!

[zmediaoutlet]

I posted 4,203 times in 2022

That's 812 more posts than 2021!

178 posts created (4%)

4,025 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@samshinechester

@zmediaoutlet

@mannequin3thereckoning

@silver9mm

@stanfordsweater

I tagged 4,198 of my posts in 2022

#spn - 1,940 posts

#art - 689 posts

#dean winchester - 294 posts

#sam winchester - 237 posts

#jensen ackles - 125 posts

#:) - 119 posts

#the boys - 119 posts

#wincest - 116 posts

#lol - 114 posts

#thanks canon - 99 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#hunter corp john got dean a custom-built vermeil cock cage for dean's 21st birthday and it's dean's favorite present he's ever received

I sent 2 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

fic: the constant vow (chapter one)

You ever have that fic idea that you think, mm, that'd be fun to write, and you keep kind of prodding at it and tweaking it and reworking, and then it turns out it's like 9 years later and you finally sit down to write it and it turns out to be long and complicated and, oh damn, quite the endeavor indeed? Yeah.

I'm going to post the six chapters of this over the next six Fridays (barring getting hit by a truck or something) and, I'll be honest, I really hope people give it a shot in sequence even though it's technically a wip. Hopefully each chapter will be satisfying, even if you have to wait for the conclusion.

title: the constant vow pairing: Sam/Dean (brief Dean/others) rating: E length: 12348 (chapter one) warning: dub-con tags: Season/Series 06, First Time, Case Fic, Genderswap, Fuck Or Die

summary: With Crowley apparently dead and Sam's soul back in place, even though Eve is a worry and Castiel's fighting a heavenly war, Sam and Dean at last have some space to get back to what passes (for them) as a normal life. They've just finished up a pretty standard job and are killing time in snowy Wisconsin when Dean wakes up no longer looking like Dean. That's just the start of their problems.

(AO3)

82 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#4

can I ask what the appeal of wincest is to you? do you have a manifesto somewhere?

I do not have a manifesto. Do people write manifestos?? The only manifesto I can imagine being required is from people whose literal not-ironic favorite movie is Sharknado. And even then, the answer should be: "lol, why not?"

I can't decide if this is a bad faith ask or not but let's assume it's not, for fun and profit: the first level of the answer is lol, why not.

The second and largest part of the answer is: by watching the show as it's presented to me, without trying hard at all, I see a deep and tangible connection between the two main characters which is so intense that it actually would be less weird if they were fucking. The fact that they aren't, according to canon, actually makes Sam and Dean Winchester very fucking strange indeed. No one is that world-leveling over a sibling. It's insane behavior. They're bringing each other back from the dead and ruining each other's romantic relationships and accusing each other of cheating (thanks Sam) and condemning all of humanity to a world that still has demons in order to keep living in the same underground bunker together. Holy shitballs.

In some ways, wincest-where-the-relationship-is-physicalized is kinda cheap and redundant. Their actual-canon gencest relationship is so intense and over-the-top and strange that physicalized wincest almost becomes the only way we can talk about it, because we can't really conceive of relationships outside of romantic ones that are that powerful and all-consuming for characters.

So given all that, why not have them express their apocalyptic, world-ending (and world-saving!) love for each other via penis jousting. Like, might as well.

136 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#3

if you could completely excise an element from your fandom -- like disappear it forever, there would never be another post about it and indeed the thoughts that caused them would never even appear in another fan’s head so as not to potentially foul the air with their presence -- what would it be

150 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#2

Sam’s fiftieth birthday isn’t much of an event. They don’t do much for their birthdays, never have, and even milestones have gotten lost in the general maelstrom that their lives became. When he was eighteen he ran away from home and felt so gut-shot horrible about it that he puked five times on the Greyhound taking him to what he’d thought was a new clean future. On his thirtieth he was in a coma in a hospital, getting nonconsensually filled with an angel. The years in between, May 2nd was a nonevent, other than a bloody reminder of bad times that weren’t far enough in the past.

In 2033, it’s different. Still reminders but they do feel distant. Some glass partition that’s slid down, between the bad old days and the current ones. They’re good, Sam guesses, but more than anything they’re---neutral. They’re exactly the days that he makes out of them, every morning. Lot of lives he could have had that would be worse than this one, and he knows that better than any other human in the universe, bar one.

It’s a Tuesday. A cool morning, for May. Sam goes for a run, like always. He comes back to the coffee not started, like always, so he starts it, and then goes and takes a shower. His knee hurts but not any more than his knee usually hurts, these days. Jeans, a sweater. The bunker seems colder than it used to, but then he’s a little skinnier than he used to be. A sweatshirt helps.

In the kitchen he pours two cups, and walks them careful back down through the halls to room fourteen. The door’s still just cracked and it’s dark inside, and he’s quiet as he sets the one mug on the bedside table but there’s a rustle, anyway. “Oh,” Dean says, and coughs phlegmy, and Sam wrinkles his nose but murmurs, “Sorry.” A waved hand, pale peeking out of the blankets, and then it gropes for the coffee. Sam shakes his head, goes to leave---thinking of the book he’s got split on the arm of his favorite chair in the library---but his knee’s hooked before the first coffee slurp is even over, and he waits. 

“Ugh,” Dean says, like always---Sam rolls his eyes, like always---but then there’s a little tug at Sam’s jeans and he sits, obediently, and waits for Dean to gulp down half the mug, and even in the half-light from the hall he can see the grimace. Dean sighs, putting the mug back on the table. “One day you’re going to learn the right amount of grounds to put in, dude.”

“One day you’re going to get up early enough to make your own, dude,” Sam says, and Dean blows a half-hearted raspberry. Even with the queen mattress they moved in here years ago, there’s not much room; Sam props himself up with one hand on the other side of Dean’s hip. Sips his coffee, looks at Dean waking up. Even with a drool smear he’s clumsily wiping off his jaw it’s a nice sight.

Dean curls an arm under his head, stretching his legs out lazily. “Fifty years of being my little brother, you oughta have realistic expectations,” Dean says, airy, but there’s a little smile curled in through his beard, and Sam pauses with his cup lifted halfway to his mouth. Surprised, sort of, and then not surprised. He finishes the sip and then sets his mug next to Dean’s, and when he leans down Dean’s already tilting his chin up for a kiss. Coffee and morning breath, and the soft scratch of beard. If he had any tension in him anywhere it’s gone, just from the taste of him, in the warmth of their bed in the morning. Dean’s fingers slip through his hair where it’s still wet at the back, slide down to hook into the v of his sweater. Sam pulls away from his mouth, kisses his cheek instead, and Dean huffs and pushes him back, just fingertip pressure but Sam sways easy with it, propped over Dean, thinking---nothing. Nothing at all.

“Want to go over to Marlow’s and get burgers for lunch?” Dean says, after a little while of looking all over Sam’s face. Sam wonders what he sees. He’s content to wonder. “And I got a good lead on a bottle of scotch that might just be hidden somewhere in the library.”

“Oh, a mystery,” Sam says, dry, and Dean smiles at him outright, easy, no smirking or holding back, and god, he’s just. He’s so. Sam smiles back, helpless to do otherwise. “Yeah,” he says, and then has to clear his throat of thickness. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Cool,” Dean says, casual, like he didn’t just catch Sam in the middle of loving him. 

Just another day in the life, together. Every morning that’s true---Sam wouldn’t  be caught dead calling it a gift, certainly anywhere that Dean could hear it, but. It’s something, all right.

“Maybe after some scotch you’ll let me do that thing you’re embarrassed you like,” Dean says, and Sam refocuses to find Dean looking a little less sweet than previously, and---goddamn him, it’s not fair that after fifty years he can still make Sam---

“Dude, cut it out,” Sam says, and Dean grins filthy and says, “Come on, remember? That time in Germantown where I got your leg bent back to your shoulder and---”

“I hate you,” Sam says, getting up, and Dean crows back, “Oh, I know how you do,” and just for that Sam takes both coffee mugs with him, and what’s so supremely irritating about Dean is that Sam’s flushed (not blushing, thanks) and annoyed and is now thinking about how his knee isn’t so bad today that they won’t be able to do---that---which he’s not embarrassed by, he just doesn’t like how he gets so out of his mind when Dean---when they---

Dean’s cackling back in the nest of blankets. Sam heads determinedly out of range and thinks about pouring the rest of the coffee down the sink, just for retribution, but it’d be a waste of good coffee. 

That night, in bed, after lunch and a movie and scotch and then other things and then clean-up, because even if Dean doesn’t mind it Sam’s never going to like sleeping like that---Dean curls up to his back, kisses behind his ear. “Happy day, man,” he says. “Many more.”

“Minimalist,” Sam says, and Dean snorts. Sam covers Dean’s hand, where it’s settled naturally over his breastbone, and thinks of all the days to come.

(on AO3)

156 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hello, hello -- happy w.w. to all who celebrate -- and as part of that delightful day, I wanted to get a sense of interest in a similar project that might have a slightly wider scope. You'll see the details in the linked google form.

Fandom's not *dead*, it's just... tired. And busy. And overstimulated-while-simultaneously-not-taking-anything-in. And sometimes people feel like they can't send a message or leave a comment or whatever because a) they just didn't have time when they saw it, or b) because they thought the post was too 'old' and it might feel weird, or c) who knows! Tons of reasons. But, in general, it's the interaction and communication that makes fandom feel alive, so -- we want to encourage that! Wouldn't that be fun? A little 'hey, I see you!' across the various dashboards.

It'd be super helpful if you'd take the little survey. (It's seriously little: two questions plus an optional short answer.) Share it widely! Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! And then, at some point, a later project (with an actual title) may come your way.

180 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[heavenly-kazee]

Man- I'm this close 👌🏻 leaving yuumori fandom whenever I see Eurus being mentioned 😭

(TW: Sherlock BBC spoilers, RKDD spoilers, supervillain acting the most pitiable sympathetic character and mental health disorders mentioned)

Sherlock BBC didn't healed me, it traumatized me. Yup— I better be sticking around in RKDD fandom because at least the mangaka is more respected with the actual ACD version (maybe Ron is still similar like Benedict Cumberbatch but in a positive light)

I know there are Eurus fans out there but I am not sorry about this post. All I wanted is someone to save me from this horrible nightmare fuel of Sherlock BBC hysteria, not even God can take me away from this hell of redeeming the most psychopathic creature that has nothing to do in ACD book-

I'm not even surprised she's the youngest, I do not wanted to be associated as her. I prefer to be associated as Mycroft, a autistic government who has not stepped outside of his office room (Unfortunately, that is who I am throughout my childhood years)

In conclusion, (points at Eurus) she is Mary Sue. Such mary sue coded because she's too overly intelligent and easily overpower Sherlock and Mycroft. My main concern is Mycroft. He got berated, criticized from his parents and thinking why their son put their daughter in private prison- Ffs Mycroft never once get comforted by them at all, I could already tell who's the golden child here in the family-

How come Jim Moriarty, Charles Augustus Milverton and that quaky cereal villain got punished and died early on? That doesn't make any sense why Eurus got away from killing staff members and causing chaos everywhere. Oh, that's right, she's Eurus Holmes, their youngest third sister and a redeemable antagonist supervillain. A psychopath at a young age who killed Sherlock's best friend. Firstly, she killed someone, Mycroft found out she's dangerous and decided to send her off to the Sherrinfold private prison institution out of fear letting her hurt Sherlock. Secondly, her intelligence and abilities grew outsmarting anyone in the room and third, Mycroft gives up in the end and gives her "reasonable" motive presents.

I never once like season 4 or The Final Problem episode, everything feels out of place and it doesn't feel like Sherlock and Moriarty's death battle anymore.

Tragically wasted potential. RKDD done it way better than that. Instead of Eurus Holmes being in the manga series, that personality of hers was imported to Alice Moriarty as a character. Humming as she sings, Mylo almost kill Alice at their young age but she survived in the end. Alice treated Mylo the same treatment as Mylo did in the past. At first I didn't think too much about it until I finished watching Sherlock BBC, the pattern was too hard to ignore the more I investigate where Alice's personality came from.

Last but not least, Eurus Holmes is a character only for BBC, nothing more. She has no interesting quirks, only mind games like an unredeemable villain. If I was her little sister, I would be disappointed, angry and have many mixed emotions all at once for having a sibling who lost her morality as an human being. "But, Mycroft and Sherlock accepted her!" No, that's lazy writing. A realistic siblings wouldn't accept it as it is. They will think you're crazy, a criminal, disappointment in the family and probably be the first people to kick you out of the house for breaking family code rules. And as for them, they might as well tell the parents about their youngest daughter had killed thousands of people compared to Moriarty, Charles Augustus and quacky cereal killer.

That's all for my Ted talk. If you want to voice your opinions, that's fine as well but I won't tolerate any comments about defending Eurus as a character, she's already a vile mess, what do you want to argue more about 😭

[therealricksanchezpleasestandup]

Ah screw it, i'm not sending this as an anon this time for ya.

Honestly yeah with roiland out of the picture the show certainly feels better from bits i've seen. There are certainly some episodes I hope they just... never acknowledge again or whatever. I understand things being messed up is a form of humor but doing it way too much just kills interest.

...So if i had to compare Rick and Morty to something, it'd be Borderland 2 for me. Because it feels like the main humor in that game boils down to "Hey isn't this fucked up? Isn't that funny?" "Hey these characters are all a bit messed up, isn't that hilarious?" And there's no counter done to balance that out at all. They just keep stacking that over and over and by the time I was doing the DLCs for the game with friends I felt dead in a sense. I no longer cared for the characters or the world cause the game kept hammering at me: "Hey, they're all fucked up in some way, and your characters are too. Isn't it funny?"

There are still enjoyable bits in the previous seasons and stuff. But yeah, it's easy for me to get sick of the "Fucked up, laugh at it" humor these days I guess. Maybe I just care about characters and stuff too much and too easily.

We don't talk about the giant baby episode.

I too also care about the characters a lot. It's what I love most about the series and what I choose to focus on. I think season 3 was peak for me with Summer finally being a more active member in the Rick and Morty crew. God, that felt so good.

Rick and Morty for me had such a good narrative storytelling that I think was dumbed down quite a bit in the later seasons. I really wanted it to be more of something that could teach life lessons.

Nobody belongs anywhere, nobody exists on purpose, everybody's going to die. Come watch TV.

Hit me deep. I miss that era. I cling onto it in my writing. I cling onto character development, relationships, and whatever else in my writing. I love Rick, and I can't let him go. For better or for worse, I'm emotionally invested in him and am determined to bring my perspective to the table. We're flawed, we're fucked up, we're just doing our best. We hurt others we care about, we learn to do better. We're human. We laugh, we cry, and if one thing remains consistent throughout any potential fuckery of infinite dimensions, we always love.

[breakfastattiffs]

Much is said about how Carson and Kate lied to Nancy her whole life to protect her, and Nancy had been furious with her parents (dad specifically) over these lies, but when it comes to Ace she is quick to reproduce this sort of behavior.

I get it, love makes you selfish, but it also makes you a little bit of a hypocrite in this case.

When his life was threatened with the curse, Nancy made the decision not to try and break it and that was that, Ace had no input whatsoever. She decided what was best for both of them, and that's a pattern with Nancy, when it comes to Ace, at least.

If he hadn't been so insistent, they probably would've never tried to break the curse. But when it was her life on the line, and him choosing to preserve it, Nancy felt rejected and almost immediately started to look at Tristan as a potential partner (we have to remember all of this is happening in matter of weeks).

What infuriates me with Nancy's character is her hero complex, like, girl can do everything if it's so save someone, but when someone tries the same for her... Well, it's an great offense. That and her emotional irresponsibility. She's always trying to drown her sorrows in relationships.

Sad over Nick and the truth of her parentage? Make out with Owen. Under the influence of the wraith and confused over her growing feelings for Ace, date Gil. Pinning over Ace? Make out with Park. Feeling rejected by Ace? Get involved with Tristan. It's a terribly toxic pattern of trying to distract yourself from your problems with a relationship. And the worst part is, aside from Nick and Ace (who are also friends of hers) those other guys were easily forgotten, just as Tristan would be too eventually. This writing does nothing good for Nancy's development (like it didn't flatter Oliver on Arrow) at all.

If I were Ace I'd have trouble trusting her with my heart, I'd be hesitant to enter a relationship with someone who is practically a serial-dater.

And now we have her deciding with would be best for him just to forget this ever happened, maybe because he caused an accident while doing something she requested him to do (with little to no instructions), and she feels a little guilty there too. Knowing Ace's character, he probably called for support, not for his memories and agency to be taken away.

This is a problematic plot to have the episode before your series finale. Maybe if this happened in episode 4 or something, we would've time to heal and fix them. Now I don't know how they're going to do this without seeming forced. If they end up together in these conditions it will be for fanservice only. And that is IF we even get that.

Probably the curse will be broken and they will talk about how they both need to go their own way and heal. If Nancy doesn't end up with Tristan, there will probably be a nod to Nace at the end. I can see them meeting again years later, looking at each other across the room and smiling or something. Leaving it implied that maybe now they can start again. This is the best ending I can see, with what we've got so far.

This season sucked so hard, any ending they give us, will likely not be a happy one.

nancy drew parallels

the trial of the missing witness (2x12) ⇾ the ransom of the forsaken soul (3x13) ⇾ the heartbreak of the truth (4x12)