#cause i wanted to make someone to pair with one of the more “irredeemable” characters

[purell-handsanitizer]

I made a mean moth mommy oc to torture i mean date Valentino :)

She had an iron grip on the movie scene in the pride ring before Val showed up, then when he started stepping on her toes and making his own pictures, they had to come to a little agreement! She owns his soul (and keeps it close to her heart <333 it's in her locket), and he can do whatever he likes (business wise) as long as they get to be a couple <3

She treats him just as well as he treats angel dust :) <3

[spiritseeeker]

This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-

Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.

As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.

And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.

But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.

For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).

So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.

But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.

Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.

She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.

Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.

Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.

We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.

Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.

And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.

(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)

Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."

And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?

[musical-shit-show]

little taste of heaven

Pairing: Adam (Hazbin Hotel) x Sinner!Reader

Inspiration: Prompts #53 (“why don’t you make me?”) from Prompt List #1 and #78 (“oh, i’m gonna fucking ruin you.”) from Prompt List #2 with added inspiration taken from a request from the lovely @odins-nsfw

Warnings: cursing, Adam is an asshole (what else is new), tiny bit of angst if you squint, general kinda rough smut (18+, MINORS DNI!!!), oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, digital manipulation, unprotected sex, Adam and reader are definitely toxic, enemies that are also lovers :)

Word Count: 2,149

Author’s Note: This took me a little longer to write but I’m very happy with how it turned out! Definitely getting more comfortable with writing smut, and writing for Adam is still proving to be very fun. Thanks to everyone who has interacted with my other Adam one shots (which you can read here and here); it seriously means so much to see the positive feedback. I still have one more request in my inbox, but I will definitely be writing for more Hazbin characters as the year goes on (especially since we don’t know when the show is coming back). But if you’d like to submit an ask, check out my About Me page, Prompt Lists, and other works in my Masterlist! Thanks and happy reading, depraved sinners!

“Hey, toots, settle a bet for us, would ya?” you heard Angel Dust call to you from across the hotel lobby. Ever since Charlie Morningstar successfully staved off an attack from Heaven’s army, you decided to join her crusade towards redeeming the seemingly irredeemable.

You were first assigned as a quasi-concierge, since you had spent most of your time in Hell bouncing from one side of the Pride Ring to the other. You hopped up from your desk and met Angel, who was slumped across the bar; Husk was silently cleaning a glass, a small smirk on his feline face.

“What’s up, guys?” you breathed, counting the seconds until your shift ended. You were grateful for the free accommodations that the hotel provided, but you didn’t expect the afterlife would involve diving into the wonderful world of customer service.

The porn star shifted his gaze to Husk, and you could tell they were both up to something. “Are ya fuckin’ the angel or what?” the bartender asked, his voice gruff. Angel almost spit out the swig of malt liquor he had just taken.

You feigned confusion, turning to the spider-like demon. “Angel Dust, I think I would know if I were fucking the biggest porn star—”

“Actor.”

“—Actor,” you corrected yourself, “on this side of Hell. You should know he’s not my type, Husk, honest.”

Angel Dusk tsked. “You know that’s not who we’re talking about, babycakes,” he said, his voice lowering, “We’re talking about the angel. Or, I guess the fallen angel.”

Oh, shit.

You shifted uncomfortably on the barstool, swirling the whiskey glass Husk had placed in front of you. “No clue what you mean by that.”

“Bullshit,” Husk said testily.

“See, I told you she’d lie,” Angel drawled, smiling smugly, “You can read it on her pretty little face.” You could feel the heat creeping up your neck.

Yes, you had been fucking Adam. And yes, you had been keeping it from the rest of the hotel residents. Even after showing up—in a new demonic form, no less—to be redeemed, you knew no one, not even Charlie, trusted him fully after the last botched exorcism and direct attack on the hotel itself.

But he was drawn to you almost immediately, singling you out as someone to pursue and torment. And stupidly, you found yourself attracted to him, despite your better judgement.

“Who told you,” you deadpanned.

Angel Dust’s gaze flickered from you to Husk and back again. He sure knew how to be a fucking tease.

“Your stupid boyfriend,” Husk confirmed, not wanting to torture you any longer.

“Ya shoulda seen him bragging about it last night,” Angel added, no doubt living for the drama this would cause, “He’s got some loose lips once the booze starts flowin’. Real keeper if ya ask me.”

Stomach in knots, you attempted to put up a brave face, even with their taunting. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you said definitively, now feeling anger welling up inside you.

This was all Adam’s fault. He couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut and now you were the one dealing with the humiliating fallout. “Fine, fuck buddy, whatever,” Angel corrected, watching as you stood up from the barstool in a huff, “Doesn’t sound like it’ll last very much longer, given the look on your face.”

You rolled your eyes, completely over this conversation. “Would you excuse me?” you asked rhetorically, your voice dripping with poison. Even Angel looked perturbed for a moment.

Husk glanced over to his companion as you hopped off the barstool, practically seething, “Yeah, ‘course toots,” Angel called after you, still clearly tickled by this development. He loved this kind of soap opera drama bullshit.

You were still able to hear Husk say “Oh she’s gonna fuckin’ murder him,” as you climbed the steps and stomped to Adam’s room.

Pounding on the door, anger and embarrassment grew like a vicious virus inside you. When no one answered, you pressed your ear against the door and was met with the irritating sound of a whiny electric guitar.

“Perfect,” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed the ring of keys Charlie had given you when you were on shift. Even though you had technically clocked out, you weren’t above bending the rules to give Adam a piece of your mind.

You threw open the door, letting the thud as it hit the wall startle the fallen angel strumming his guitar lazily. “Jesus fu—” he started to say as he shifted on his bed, but then his eyes softened at the sight of you, “Oh, hey babe—”

“Don’t you ‘hey babe’ me, you fucking prick,” you spat, fire practically spewing from your mouth, “You’ve been telling people about us?!”

A tense pause.

“Maybe.”

Another pause.

“No?”

You could feel your eye beginning to twitch.

“Ugh, fine. Yes. But what’s the big deal?” Adam asked incredulously, finally putting his guitar down.

You paused for a moment, your anger simmering. The big deal was that you were embarrassed. That the thought of you and Adam going public made you look like a desperate sinner latching onto the only other wayward soul that would look your way.

And hell, you actually liked sneaking around, until he ruined it with his big, dumb mouth of his.

And maybe, just maybe, you were afraid that once the novelty wore off and everyone knew about you two, Adam would leave you behind and move onto the next shiny new toy to waltz into the hotel.

“Cat got your tongue, dollface?” he prodded, wanting to get a rise out of you. It was one of his new favorite pastimes.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, your anxiety being replaced by annoyance. “Jesus fucking Christ do you ever shut up?” The former angel smirked, his eyes flitting up and down your form.

“First off, don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” he said as you rolled your eyes, “It’s fucking rude.”

You wanted to punch him.

“Second, why don’t you make me?”

That was the last straw.

You lunged at him, practically pouncing on top of him to kiss him hungrily. Adam knew exactly how to push your buttons, and pathetic as it was, you actually fell for it every time.

You were straddling him, and felt him wince as you bit his lip in the heat of the angry makeout. Adam knew you were pissed, and the more you fought for dominance, the harder he felt himself get. 

After all, pleasure always tasted sweeter with a little pain. And you tasted fucking delicious.

Adam groaned as you pulled away from him, your face still radiating with heat and anger. You weren’t letting him off that easily, and he knew it.

“Lie down,” you muttered, your eyes scanning his smug expression. “Now.” Wordlessly, Adam complied, lying on his back as you removed your pants and underwear swiftly.

Adam raised his head slightly just in time to watch you remove your shirt and throw it across the room in a huff. He waited patiently for you to do his own disrobing on his behalf; the lazy bastard loved when you rode him.

But he didn’t feel the desperate grasp of your hands around his cock.

No, instead, you climbed up his chest, until you were eye to eye, his gold pupils dilated. “I’m going to have to take drastic measures to shut you up, aren’t I?”

Adam felt his pulse quicken. “What’d you have in mind?”

A sinful smile spread across your face. “Something I know you hate,” you teased, cupping his face gently, doing your best to seduce him into submission, “And something I happen to know your bestie Luci is very talented at.”

Adam gripped your arm, pulling your hand away from his face. You became frightened for a second, before he started peppering the inside of your wrist with small love bites.

The games you played toed a dangerous line between love and hate, and luckily Adam had been fucking you long enough to understand the moves you were making.

“I’m not eating you out,” he said, his expression darkening, “And don’t try to bait me with that little pretty boy. It won’t work.”

You felt your pulse quicken; clearly you had struck a nerve. You just had to push him a little further to get your way.

“Is that why Lilith really left?” you said, rolling your hips against his, feeling how hard he was underneath you, “Because you couldn’t…satisfy her the way that Lucifer could?”

You knew this would send him over the edge. And the moment you looked into his burning gold eyes, you knew you had won.

A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

“Oh, I’m gonna fucking ruin you,” he growled, tugging at the hair at the nape of your neck. You smirked as he finally complied and laid on his back. Adam would rather give up control than have his skills in the bedroom be compared to the King of Hell.

You knew he was insecure, and if he was going to be a dick about it, the least you could do was take advantage.

Before he could change his mind, you placed each thigh on either side of his head, kneeling until your aching core met the lower half of his face. After a few seconds of resistance, you felt his lips part and flinched as his tongue slid into you.

“I can’t believe this was—ah—” you bucked your hips as he found his way to your clit, “This was the only way to get you to shut the fuck up.” You felt a hum of disapproval as his slender hands found his way to your ass.

You smiled to yourself as you felt the annoyed hum that radiated from your stubborn lover’s mouth. Finding your pace, you felt the tension in your abdomen rising as Adam continued to eat you out.

For not loving the act, you had to admit he was good at it. Feeling his tongue swirl inside you sent a shiver down you spine, and you felt a yelp leave your lips as he slapped your ass as you continued to buck on top of him.

In retaliation, he tried teasing you with small sucks and flicks, but you didn’t care; the fact that he was focusing on your gratification for a change was rewarding enough.

After a few minutes, though, the fallen angel had had enough of your domineering; if he was going to finish you off, he was going to do it his way.

Coming up for air, he placated you by circling one of his fingers around your clit. “Alright baby, you got what you wanted,” he breathed, “Now it’s my turn.”

In one fell swoop, he flipped you over onto your back, and disrobed in the blink of an eye. ‘Showoff,’ you thought to yourself, annoyed by the lack of his mouth on your pussy.

Before you could protest, two of his long fingers found his way inside you, pumping and curling to hit your sweet spot.

“After this, I’m gonna fuck you into oblivion,” Adam muttered, his tempo growing more erratic, “You’re lucky I’m even bothering to get you off after your little outburst, but you can consider it a favor this time.”

You tried to focus more on satisfying sensation you were feeling than his bitching. “It’s the least you could do after that bullshit you pulled with Husk and Angel,” you said, feeling a bead of sweat roll down your back as you tightened around him, “They’ll fucking crucify me.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, baby,” he cooed, resting his thumb on your bud as he continued to pump his fingers into you, “Now be a good girl and cum for me.”

It only took a few more moments of stimulation for you to humiliatingly come undone around him, knowing he’d make you pay for it later.

Getting off always seemed to come with a price when it came to fucking Adam; at the very least you were able to shut him up for a few glorious minutes.

You contemplated if the grilling from the other guests and constant bickering was worth it, but you didn’t have much time to change your mind. Adam pulled you off your back and onto your stomach, and you winced as he slammed his cock into you, your ass on full display as he took you from behind.

You gripped the sheets, the friction of him inside you equal parts painful and gratifying. ‘Another question for another day,’ you thought, burying your face into the mattress as he fucked you at an agonizingly delicious pace.

Right now, you had a pissy angel to placate and a couple of sinners to swear to secrecy.

Royally fucked didn’t even begin to describe the mess you had gotten yourself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading! please like/comment/reblog if you enjoyed and want to read more! :)

[oddeyes588]

A little late to the party but I do have some thoughts about Fantasy High Junior Year now that it's over. First of all, overall? Great season, had lots of laughs... but man, is it just me, or were there a lot of parts in this season that just... were kind of annoying? For me specifically, two big things... and no, I'm not talking about the Rat Grinders. While I'm a little disappointed with how that ended, I'm not too bothered.

Like, idk if this is a hot take or not, because they were arguably the biggest parts of this season... but I found myself especially annoyed and/or disappointed about K2 and Porter.

Like, don't get me wrong, I thought K2 was funny—especially at first—and Porter being the main villain of the season was 100% for the bit and I can respect that... but man, I couldn't help but be disappointed with Porter going full irredeemably evil, as well as just straight-up annoyed by K2's existence (at least in regards to the story. gameplaywise, making a homunculus of their cleric was VERY smart) (oh god if K2 exists in our world now she might come after me. dont forget me).

In regards to Porter... he was for sure an ass, he caused Gorgug a lot of grief with the MCAT, but he also had such a really sweet moment with him when that thing finally got signed?? It was very, like, not a perfect teacher but someone who did have his best interests in mind, paired with a really nice message about how it's alright to get mad. It was an important part of Gorgug's character growth this season! Integral to unlocking his Barbificer subclass!

...and then all of that just gets thrown away because turns out Porter was evil the whole time and this was all just leading up to his big master plan of killing a god and becoming a god of war. He was never offering genuine advice, he never cared about Gorgug or had his best interests in mind, he thought Gorgug's fascination with Artificing was stupid... and now he's dead. The End.

And that just feels... really disappointing, honestly. He was a chill guy, and yeah he had no right to bar Gorgug from pursuing what he wants and force him to take so many years of school in a single year, but it also resulted in some serious growth on Gorgug's part! It was great! Him being Evil The Whole Time felt... almost like a character assassination, honestly.

And then... there's K2...

I'm gonna be real here. I don't care if using a homunculus and shit for multiple divine intervention rolls is how it actually works in the rulebooks, and I know that objectively having more rolls is always better, especially when the stakes are high... and especially considering that Ally was not getting the rolls they needed otherwise.

This was hilarious. It was also supremely annoying, because it just fully took away from any big moment Kristen could've had this season regarding her and Cassandra after her creation... and this happened TWICE.

Like, from a storytelling perspective, I feel Brennan's pain viscerally. These episodes were truly such an experience for me, because on one hand, I was laughing at the sheer comedy of it all... but there was another part of my brain thinking this truly, truly sucked.

Kristen was figuring out her devotion to Cassandra, finding an understanding in what her role as Cassandra's cleric is... and right at the end of the season all of that kind of comes to a halt because in the end K2 did the divine interventions.

...Well, at least that still leaves some room for whatever Kristen will have to deal with in Senior year. Unlike Porter, who is dead and gone and we're definitely not bringing him back.

[saintobio]

i was really holding on to hope that gojo could be redeemable, but after reading her interactions with toji, a decent human being, FUCK satoru. i hate gojo and sera for victimizing themselves like he didn’t agree to this marriage. me being a toji fucker aside, i want him to take y/n from gojo. i want them to start working as business partners for her designs and gojo getting pissed off bc his wife is finally doing something she enjoys with another man. none of your characters have pissed me off more than hoejo and i just want him to suffer. he doesn’t deserve y/n AT ALL, and she doesn’t deserve the pain that he puts her through. i want her to ruin his plans of becoming the heir of the company and get a divorce. i hope she can learn to put herself and her feelings before gojo’s, bc he doesn’t deserve her love.

also, i love you!!! i hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself 💕 thank you for writing this incredible story! you’re the best!

Anonymous said

omg hi!!! I just wanted to say that the latest chapter especially the ending had me raging 😤. The fact that gojo was literally the one who initiated seggs and has the AUDACITY to get mad at mc is so infuriating kandisnsjjdisjs. Nonetheless, IT’S SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER! Can we just run away with Toji 😔.

Ohhh nd btw your series really changed how I look at Gojo that I literally rewatched jjk and watch clips of him on yt to remind me he isn’t actually like that 😩 but pls don’t take this negatively! It’s really good how you wrote Gojo in this and manage to change our perspective on him HAHHAHAHA I can just slander him more 👉🏻👈🏻

Anonymous said

I just re-read chapter 5 and I’m absolutely disgusted by Gojo. I wanna rip his head off. What the hell?! Its not like the mc forced him to have sex with him and ditch sera for it. and Sera? When she called mc a liar i almost threw my phone all the way to north korea. If someone deserves to be accused for being a liar it’s gojo and no one else. Both sera and gojo are disgusting individuals and I hope they rot in hell for putting the mc in such situations because she doesn’t deserve it she deserves the whole world and more. I’m so glad that Toji appeared because he is such a gentleman and a nice person I’m happy that at least he understood her pain and was able to listen to her and when he mentioned his wife? I almost teared up. I absolutely love your writing and I hope that you’ll be able to bless us with it for a long long time ❤️

P.S i hope you are doing well. Sending many kithes😘

Anonymous said

Okay I think I get what heavy angst anon to an extent. I'm good with heavy angst (I thrive on it actually uwu) but in this particular case all the stuff that makes it heavy angst also makes it really hard to root for the main pairing bc at this point I (personally) think Gojo is like, irredeemable.

On the other hand tho I also thought that about Suna in wasteland and ended up getting hit in the feels bc of the ending so who knows. u have a weird talent for making me feel bad for assholes lmao

Anonymous said

SATORU WHAT THE FUCK?! she's clearly is in pain and all you could think of was that she's faking it????? *googling how to enter fanfiction so i could smack tf outta him*

No hate on canon gojou tho i love that man he's powerful but SN gojou is very...... emotionally weak 😭 idc if ppl tryna defend him abt his wrecked family but he really didn't think about his children's future. Man be like: I wanna have an heir and raised them the way my dad raised me lol, have a mistress and hates on my father's mistress. Ironic, satoru. Very ironic.

And Sera... *sigh* no words on that girl. Acting like a victim as if she's not a homewrecker.

Thank you for the update 😭😭❤ can't wait for the next crying session but pls take your time 🙏

Anonymous said

I’m one of these people that know they shouldn’t have started reading sn cause they are too sensitive (and kin Gojo) but I just couldn’t help myself and now I’m hooked 😣 I haven’t lost all hope for a happy ending yet but if it’s gonna end in a sad way it’s also ok, I’ll be here till the end anyway. Your writing is so good, please keep going 🙏🏼

omg aaaa i’m sorry i cannot respond to each of u individually but i have enjoyed reading all of these!! to those who are saying that gojo is irredeemable, i get why you would think so!! i personally think he isn’t redeemable too so i’ll just do a break down of his character’s psychology

psychoanalyzing gojo 101: underneath gojo’s superiority complex is a highly insecure man with abandonment issues, an abusive father, and a lover that he couldn’t freely show to the world. this makes him think that it’s “acceptable” to put y/n through pain bc she is always granted of everything she wanted and has a loving dad and sister, while he has to constantly prove himself to get what he wants and is disconnected with his own family. they have the same status but they didn’t live the same life. he both hates and loves that he feels powerful next to y/n and is insecure without her, thinking that his worth would not be twice as important if he didn’t marry an heiress that would make him successful. he is trying to utilize y/n the same way his dad uses him as a pawn which is why he frequently shows signs of manipulation to get what he wants. but as one anon pointed out, he only wants sera but he needs y/n. sera is a luxury, y/n is a necessity. he does not understand the true meaning of love beyond pleasures and fantasies. he rejects the idea of caring for someone who is willing to understand his darkest days. gojo, as simply put, is a selfish, stubborn, and complex individual who looks powerful and independent on the outside when in truth, he is dependent on the people he loves and is vulnerable on the inside — his dad sees through him that’s why he’s able to mess with his son’s mind.

[spartanxhunterx]

The episodes Truth and Lie made me realize something else.

Just about every Character in MLB has been given some hobby or personal thing they like to do.

Marinette - Fashion, Adrien - Fencing (And his many other tasks), Max - Gaming, Coding, Damn even Chloé got her little Cosplay moment's throughout the show.

Parent's, classmates, even several strangers have got more then a base personality... Except for Lila.

Why is it we don't see what she's up to off screen from time to time? A bare glimpse into what she does when out of school?

And no I will not accept her being in Adriens Fashion shoots as her hobby, she is there cause she wants to be near Adrien and Gabriel wants another pair of eyes spying on Adrien, that is all.

For a show so dedicated to even giving it's Villains and "Irredeemable" character's some standard, normal "Hey we can relate to that" stuff. Why haven't they done something for Lila?

Where's the episode for Lila that shows us what she likes as a person?

Lila is probably the most underdeveloped Character in the series. Most ignored and unaltered.

Officially; Kagami and Luka have had more work put into them than Lila thanks to the Episode's Lie and Truth.

Don't mistake this as salt or hate for them, cause it's not.

But when Lila was hyped up to be some 'secret' antagonist that was going to be vitally important and then was promptly ignored. It was a real middle finger.

Yes the show isn't centered around Lila, she doesn't have to be in a fraction of the Episode at all, whatever, I know.

But my point is, what they've done with Lila is create a Character that is a blank sheet, staple "LIAR" in big bold letters to her head and dropped her into the show to see how it goes, instead of being a Character that could be a true foil to someone, anyone.

They've not even bothered to put in the most basic amount of work to make Lila relatable in one way or another, this essentially makes her no better than a 2-D cut out with a voice box attached that has upmost 5 voice lines.

TLDR: Give Lila some damn development and a real personality or I will bust your knee caps open Astruc.

[laufire]

(CW for mentions of csa)

A lot of Commonly Accepted (Often Through Uncritical Repetition) Wisdom in fandom leaves me baffled, when not straight up ticked off, but one that's been on my mind lately, that never fails to bring a scrunched up expression to my face, is the idea that Bela Talbot's backstory was some last minute add-on to her character.

You might argue that the reveal was rushed since the writers caved in and killed her off against their original plan (or at the very least, earlier than). Or that using abuse is a trite way to raise sympathy for an antagonistic character. You could even say that some of the finer details might’ve not been set in stone until they sat down to write her exist, although that one is dubious. But I’m never really going to buy that Bela’s backstory hadn’t been already planned, likely in big part.

The reason why is Season Three Episode Six, “Red Sky At Morning”, Bela’s second episode, co-written by Eric Kripke himself. As all episodes with Bela were, may I add; which means he had a hand in crafting her story from the beginning, as creator, director, and writer.

There Dean, a character that has been shown as sharp and intuitive (although his success rate ain’t that great when it comes to Bela, admittedly xD), immediately pegs her as someone with Issues TM, asking “how did she get like this”. He even taunts her by referencing her father, showing off his talent to hit where it hurts by asking if he “didn’t give her enough hugs���, ‘cause he’s classy like that. This visibly affects Bela, changing her demeanor in their conversation, from more playful to defensive. Hell, I remember during my first watch in real time this moment, especially paired with the rest of the episode, was when I first thought it was possible she came from an abusive family.

Because, c’mon. This whole episode is about parricide. The monster of the week is a ghost who haunts those that “spilled their own family’s blood”. We get two other examples: a woman whose accidental car crash killed her cousin, and two brothers who killed their father for the inheritance. Clearly, the ghost doesn’t have a narrow criteria when it comes to means or culpability -which makes sense given his particular story: he was tried for treason and his brother, the captain of the ship, issued the sentence.

And just as we find out this information... Bela sees the ghost ship that foretells her death. This, paired with the insinuations about an unsavvory past and her discomfort at the mention of her father, aren’t a wealth of information, but they start to paint a picture. We now know for a fact that Bela caused the death of at least one relative (mom and dad); that she wouldn’t have needed to do it directly (she made a crossroads deal); and that she might’ve had a sympathetic motive (her father sexually abused her and her mother turned a blind eye).

That scene offers some more tidbits of information about her past that seem too in tune with 3x15 to be coincidental, and that absolutely break my heart: Bela’s “You wouldn’t understand. No one did.“ and “I’ll just do what I’ve always done. I’ll deal with it myself”. See, I always thought Bela must’ve told people, when she was a kid. That she reached out for help not just to her mother, but to everyone around her that she thought could’ve help: teachers, maybe even law enforcement; adults that should’ve being worthy of that trust and protected her. Except no one did (and the fact that her family seemed to be not only very rich but influential paints a very bleak picture that surely contributed to her cynic view of the world). So she took matters in her own hands, and sold her soul for ten years of relative safety and freedom from her abusers.

To tie it all up, her final scene in that episode offers some more moments that again, are very in line with her backstory. We see how she treats relationships as transactionals: she pays ten grand to the Winchesters for saving her life, like she paid with her soul. Dean, again, draws attention to her likely messed up past by calling her damaged, and she replies that “takes one to know one”. Terrible childhood, ammirite. The show wasn’t been subtle here: it’s telling us Bela has a terrible past, like the Winchesters do, but of a different kind that has resulted in a different kind of person. So yeah, I think all the facts were hinted at back in 3x06.

We could go even futher back and point out 3x03, Bela’s introduction. One of the very first things she says in the show, during her first face to face with Dean (a character that just condemned his soul to Hell), is “We’re all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride”. Sure, it could be an incredibly fortuitous coincidence; as a writer, I’ve had those and they’re damn great. But it seems VERY lucky, and more likely to be a case of the kind premeditated, well-placed foreshadowing that Kripke excels at.

So, okay. I’ve established why I think Bela’s backstory wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. But why is there a notable narrative in fandom that it IS?

First thing first, I want to get something out of the way: you don’t have to like it even if it was planned ahead. I understand it’s a very thorny subject, and to make matters worse, it’s inherently tied to her death. You might even be fine with the what, but not with how it was dealt with (although personally, I appreciate that neither the abuse nor her death were shown onscreen. In fact, the worse violence we see Bela on the receiving end of in her run is Dean’s threats and manhandling, which seems like a very purposeful choice ngl. Even Gordon freaking Walker was gentler lmao).

But I do disagree with some extended fandom opinions on the topic, and I guess that’s what the post is about. For one, I don’t see how the show “condemned” or morally judged Bela in this scenario. If anything, they clearly wanted to make her sympathetic, AND they showed Dean as being in the wrong by robbing him of information. Dean’s opinion on Bela couldn’t count for shit, for once, because he didn’t have the full picture; because Bela had deemed him UNWORTHY of the full picture, and thus anything he had to say on her couldn’t be taken at face value (except this is Supernatural, so I guess this was a little too much to ask of some people?). I think saying that just because Bela died and went to Hell as a consequence of her deal, IN THE SAME SEASON the same happened to our co-lead, because the writers deemed her evil and irredeemable is simplistic at best, and the audience projecting their own feelings (or being unable to see past Dean’s) onto the writing.

All that said, to go back to the initial point of all of this xD: WHY does fandom seem to insist on viewing this narrative choice as some cheap last minute addition?

There might not be one explanation that fits all, but I have a few ideas. One is that, if this wasn’t planned for and hinted at from early on, some people might feel as if this “absolves” them of their previous (and disgustingly hateful and misoginistic) reactions to Bela. Others will see this as absolving Dean, and maybe even Sam to a lesser extent, for not helping her and for being callous towards her; if her tragic backstory was this artificial, rushed choice made by Those Writers, then Dean wasn’t responsible for reprehensible attitudes towards someone who deserved his compassion (and it can’t be denied that this fandom loves absolving Dean of responsibility lmao). And a lot people are probably only repeating what they've heard from others as the accepted narrative, especially those that didn't even watch all of s3 if at all (Castiel is my fave too, but seriously, s1-3 are worth it).

It’s like they’re creating this imaginary separation between Bela pre-reveal, and Bela post-reveal, to make the situation easier to themselves. See, Bela pre-reveal was this annoying bitch who inconvenienced and embarrassed our leads (not to mention dared have chemistry with them), and thus deserved to be punished for it; or, if we’re going with more modern fandom sensibilities, she can be made to fit into the shallow #GirlBoss mold, with a side of “Secretly A Lesbian And Therefore Not A Romantic Threat” flavour -the current preferred method to make controversial female characters more palatable.

The reveal throws a wrench into this narrative. “Bitch who deserves her comeuppance” is a hard sell when you’re talking about a character who survived csa. And a shallow #GirlBoss reading doesn’t work if you have to acknowledge that Bela was one of, if not the most tragic characters in the entire run of Supernatural.

She spent over half her life at the mercy of her abuser(s), hurt by those who should’ve loved her and protected her most. The rest of her life was extremely lonely, with seemingly only a cat as company, and a surface-level freedom that hid under the sentence that loomed over her head. She died without a single friend, or a simple show of kindness and compassion, without anyone bothering to fight for her. And then she ended up tortured for who knows how long until she became one of her torturers.

All of that is extremely difficult to digest. And when things are hard to swallow, people do as people do, and they try to simplify them. So, sure. Bela’s reveal wasn’t ever hinted at, it’s completely removed from her character and the person we met, and is not even worth trying to fit into the narrative. Sounds easy.

[demonologist-in-denim]

Okay, let’s get into this, because I have put off talking about Crowley’s cut monologue from 12x23 for long enough. If you haven’t already, you can read it here, or in this great gifset.

I absolutely see why this was cut. And I’m only acknowledging it here to talk about why I not only think it doesn’t add anything to Crowley’s story or our understanding of him, but how it actually detracts from it. After that, I intend to ignore it and let it fade away into the ether of the spn fandom. That being said, deleted scenes and cut scripts live in a sort of canonical limbo – you can choose for yourself whether to accept them as canon, consider them glimpses from some alternative universe, or do away with them entirely. I’m choosing the latter in this instance.

(This was meant to be a post, but it turned into an essay.)

Whomever wrote this was either unfamiliar with Crowley as a character, or was intentionally twisting the character in such a way as to fit into the convenient narrative that removed him from the show. Blame it on Chuck in text, blame it on the showrunners outside of text, whatever your preference – this doesn’t read like Crowley.

There are very few parts of this monologue that felt in character, that read like something Crowley would say. Not just in the tone or the choice of words, but the openness of it. And that’s coming from someone who writes reformed and/or human Crowley, with his admittance to remorse and shame and love. In this cut script, he is uncharacteristically vulnerable, sharing self-reflections he would never have shared aloud at this point in his character development. His dialogue lacks the layers of meaning or deflection that Crowley would normally employ, that he employed everywhere else in the show, even when being emotionally vulnerable.

That’s not to say that Crowley didn’t think or feel these things – I will argue to the end of my days (in spn fandom) that after the cure, Crowley hated himself. He hated that he was alone and unloved. Some part of that was due to being a demon and the horrible, evil, messy things he’d done, and some of it he believed was due to his inherent lack of worth. And I think this monologue was written in part to have Crowley make that final confession out loud. Final because, if that’s the case and he’s willing to admit it – to his former enemies and now the only people he really has in his life – his story can only take one of two directions: redemption or death. Embrace the desire for change and move forward as a reformed demon and full Winchester ally, or dramatically (and unnecessarily) sacrifice himself.

And there is a way to write that, but with Crowley properly in character and with the emotional complexity we know him to possess, not this blatant declaration. Maybe the line would have worked depending on how Mark Sheppard played it, and it only falls so flat because it’s just a script – I’m willing to allow for that. But this moment, facing down the boys after letting Lucifer loose, in front of an audience of Mary Winchester that he doesn’t know well and isn’t comfortable with, it doesn’t feel like a moment for Crowley to be this open, this vulnerable, about something so personal and so monumental.

I’ve no doubt that Crowley expected the Winchesters would one day kill him, “for good this time.” He was a demon working alongside a pair of hunters; there was always going to be that risk. Crowley was intelligent, one of the smartest characters on the show. He had to know that was how things would play out – either that, or he would die on their behalf, or because of their actions, even if he had ended up leaving Hell and joining Team Free Will. That was what happened to people around the Winchesters. Crowley warned Kevin of that himself. “They use people up, and leave them to die bloody.” Crowley knew. And as he internalized more and more of his blood-born conscience, Crowley had to believe on some level that he deserved it, especially if he hated himself and what he’d done.

But once again, if Crowley was going to say something like that, that’s not how he’d say it. It would be as a dismissive aside, or a knife in Dean’s gut in a moment of intense emotion between the two of them, or as a rebuke that the Winchesters badly deserved. Or better yet, as something remarked between himself and Cas, who Crowley likely suspected would outlast him but also ultimately die in service of the Winchester cause. Words like those have power. And it’s unlike Crowley to lay them down in supplication like this. It doesn’t even feel like a heart-felt confession, like his monologue in 8x23. It reads like someone wrote what was meant to be under Crowley’s words, the intention behind his dialogue, the much-exalted subtext, but failed to add all the layers on top of it, to put it in actual character.

I’m just going to bundle the whole beginning of the monologue together and toss it out entirely. Firstly because I’ve argued more than once that Crowley is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his human life. What we know of it from Rowena comes with an agenda, and what we know of it from Gavin comes from a man who had a difficult relationship with his father. It’s about as reliable as young Dean telling stories to Sammy about their parents’ time together. And there’s canonical errors in this monologue to back that up – we know Crowley wasn’t buried in a pauper’s grave, because we saw it 6x04. The “dying in a puddle of his own sick” is a great detail in terms of storytelling, but it’s almost directly repeated from Rowena, who said it as a belittling comment to a young Fergus. It’s too forced. And we know at least Gavin came to the funeral, because he tells us so in a deleted scene in 12x13 (remember what I said about getting to pick and choose when it comes to cut scripts and deleted scenes?).

But more importantly – and this is the part that really grates – Crowley’s iteration of his human life reinforces the narrative of absolute morality in the spn universe. It supports the argument that if a character becomes a demon, it must be because they were a terrible person. There is no room for human flaws, for characters to have made mistakes – and that doesn’t just hinder characters in terms of backstory, but in character development and emotional growth moving forward. It’s a stance spn takes more than once, and especially with non-human characters, though never in regards to the Winchesters. The Winchesters can become soulless or demons, but they were “always good” before that, so they are deserving of redemption. If Crowley or other non-humans were “always bad,” that absolves the Winchesters from seeing them as people deserving of help, or of their ability to change, or even to be seen as beings deserving of any level of respect or agency. And it absolves the showrunners from writing a character capable of development, of being able to grow beyond their previous flaws.

That’s not to say that Fergus MacLeod wasn’t some or all of those things. But if he was a complex character – if he was a person, as all stories should aim to present their characters – then he was all of that and more, just as the Winchesters are their virtues and their faults all wrapped up in an individual person. And if Crowley had brought this up some other time, in reference to his human life, none of this discussion would be necessary. It would be easy to say: he’s an unreliable narrator, and this provides us with insight into how Crowley feels about himself, and it would be interesting and valuable. But here, it’s used in justification for Crowley’s status as irredeemable – which is not true – and as part of justification for what happens next.

Crowley’s death was written by the showrunners as an excuse to remove him from the show – attribute that to budget costs for the show, or running out of story ideas for Crowley, or creative laziness, whatever you want. And within spn, it can be attributed to Chuck not wanting another character like Cas muddling up his Winchester Brothersᵀᴹ grand narrative. I’ve written before both in posts and in fic about how Crowley’s character-central instinct for self-preservation crumbles into depression after losing Hell and the seemingly-irreversible depletion of his and Dean’s friendship in 12x23. And that this ushers in a desire to End in such a way that achieves revenge against Lucifer (not a significant motivation, in my opinion, you’ve got to outlive your enemies to win against them), earns him the appreciation of the Winchesters, saves the world (proving his capacity for good), and brings about an end to his waiting. Glory through death, redemption in death – tropes that are hard to associate with Crowley unless you buy into his character’s devolvement in the latter half of season 12, but which the writers do their best to smooth into place and the fandom was forced to choke down.

And I won’t argue that Crowley didn’t wanted an end to his waiting – I’d argue the opposite in fact. This blatant preference for suicide, however, is antithesis to everything Crowley. What Crowley wanted in that End wasn’t an end of himself, but an end to existing in a state of perpetual limbo. Be accepted by the good guys, embrace his more human aspects, or return to the full dark depravity of demonkind. An end to the emotional rollercoaster, to continuous and destructive self-doubt, to striving to be both the king Hell needed and the ally the Winchesters refused to admit they benefited from having. That’s entirely different than wanting to end himself. As much as Crowley hated himself, he would never have considered death to be a preferable option – not unless some outside force, be it Chuck or the spn showrunners, decided otherwise for him.

Even if that had been the case, and I am wrong about Crowley’s characterization and his motivations, I still do not think he would have been as open about that motivation as is written in this cut script. It is just not like him. It is too vulnerable, too self-pitying. Crowley was always concerned about the others around him, and especially the Winchesters, thinking less of him. He never would have said something like this to them, not as this is written. Nor would Crowley have gone to the Winchesters with the intention of them killing him. He might have known it was a possibility, once he confessed his actions, (and from his perspective, there was the chance the Winchesters didn’t know of his involvement in Lucifer’s escape anyway), but it would never have been his intention. It’s not unknown for Crowley to encourage abuse from those he’s wronged, and to revel in the attention and emotions of it (here I’m thinking specifically of Kevin beating him in 9x02), maybe considering the punishment just and due. And Crowley at this point likely suspected he would eventually meet his end in some way involving the Winchesters. But death by their hands in this moment would have involved none of the justifying benefits of death by his own hand only a few scenes later – glory, revenge, redemption, a sense of closure.

Compare this cut monologue and its potential death – at the hands of the Winchesters after confessing his role in Lucifer’s escape – to this cut line of dialogue from later in 12x23. “Tell Dean he was right – you bloody fools have rubbed off on me.” This is Crowley. This is emotional complexity, admittance to a change of heart, self-awareness, and a brave act of equal defiance and sacrifice, with his usual smug, snarky dismissal. This isn’t suicide brought on by depression, by an uncharacteristic vulnerability. It is resolved, determined, if reluctant. This is Crowley choosing the greater good and the boys, even if it means sacrificing himself.

For me, this small addition smooths over much of the unevenness in the showrunner’s attempts to justify Crowley’s death. He has lost Hell, he believes he’s had an irreversible falling out with Dean – all of which could be overcome, grown beyond. But then a rift opens, and Lucifer is an immediate danger, and it requires a life to save the day. Crowley knows it can’t be either of the boys – that tends to have world-ending effects – and it can’t be Mary Winchesters or Castiel, because of “Winchester man-pain.” So that leaves Crowley. And having exhausted all immediate alternatives, Crowley does what internalized Winchester logic and conscience tells him is right. It would still require a moment of hesitation, a moment we see him combatting his deeply imbedded trait of self-preservation. But at least that would have been in character and show definitive character growth on Crowley’s part.

So yes, I completely agree with the decision to cut this monologue in 12x23. It doesn’t tell us anything about Crowley that we don’t already know, and is uncharacteristic of him, and provides out-of-character justification for his actions that wasn’t needed. You don’t have to agree with me, obviously. And I’ll end this rather long rant of an essay by saying what I always say: that Crowley deserved better. He deserved better than the mangling of his character’s motivations in the latter half of season 12, and he deserved better than this monologue. I’m glad it was cut from the final script.

[faelapis]

things i did like about bluebird:

1. how even though eyeball and aqua Wanted to be a fusion of convenience, you kinda see them bonding a little over their shared hatred after failing to fuse.

2. it’s good to remind the audience that these things are difficult. there are still gems struggling to be okay with this new world. it’s a systemic thing, and plenty of gems were primarily concerned with protecting their status.

3. i was never on board with “eyeball the self-sacrificial, dutiful soldier” that some interpreted her as. firstly, we already have characters like that - pearl and jasper come to mind. but more importantly, i think it works better that her and aqua are both relatively selfish. especially when paired together.

that doesn’t mean “irredeemable”, mind you. it just means primarily concerned with oneself. this has plenty of support in their debut eps - even if they both have brief sympathetic moments to balance it. aqua is still used to being the best, and eyeball wants to be seen that way. she’s not really in it for “the cause”, more because she wants higher status. privilege - or even just yearning for privilege, rather than working to dismantle it - can make one self-centered,

they’re not really “evil” or anything, so much as they just... come across as morally unchallenged. they’re people who, for different reasons, were put in a position where it made the most sense to focus on one’s own self-interest, rather than hash out any higher ideals. which is how many people start out!

4. i think it can open up to an interesting type of character growth where like... what these characters need isn’t to like steven. not everyone has to. it’s not a “liking steven” vs “being totally irredeemable” dichotomy. maybe they’ll keep hating him, even! 

the growth i want is more about them slowly realizing they actually enjoy being together. perhaps even more than they liked the idea of being praised and honored by homeworld - which could be a good message about connecting with someone being more rewarding than hating someone. even if it happens because they both have the same frustrations, it’s still progress. they’re still widening the narrow lens of self-interest to include their partner.

maybe they won’t quite realize it’s happening, but i think... one day, their heists to ruin steven’s life will be more about how much fun they’re having together than about exacting revenge on him. and at that point, they may give up on that hatred and just go have adventures together.

[firemblem-fics]

Running With the Wolves [2]

<< | >>

-> Pairing: Yuri x Fem!Reader

-> Gang!Au | Modern!Au | Enemies to Lovers

-> Word Count: 2.4k

-> Warnings: Blood, Violence, Cursing, Angst, Crack

-> Summary: You were just a normal college student, trying to find her way in a new place. You didn’t mean to get caught up in the wrong crowd. You just wanted coffee, but now you’re running with the wolves.

-> A/N: okok i know this is a lot shorter than the last chapter BUT y’all already heard my struggle with it so i’m actually kind of happy with this and liked where it ended. i’m sorry it’s boring, i think this was just a chapter where i do some introductions and go further into characters and a teeny bit more into the world of the gangs idk more info in later chapters because reader will NOT suddenly get a huge info dump of shit - also i hope you all like my two oc’s in here!

if you’d like to be put on the taglist, send me an ask or a message!

“Run.”

In that second, Yuri began firing shots at your pursuers again. Hapi gave her gun to Balthus, who began using both his and her pistols to keep them back as well. She turned and grabbed your arm- the same one that was bleeding before recoiling.

“Who hurt you?”

“Yuri dragging me around.”

Hapi scoffed and reached for the other arm, leading you out the back door and into a small white car. She cranked the engine and backed out before you could even get buckled, narrowly missing a larger black van parked beside it. You held onto the door frame, your fingers turning white as Hapi whipped the car down a smaller, empty street.

“Why are you driving like a fucking lunatic?”

“They could easily follow us! Look behind, do you see anything?”

You turned as well as you could as Hapi made another sharp turn. “No, there’s nothing behind us.”

She slowed the car just a little bit. “Keep checking. We don’t need someone knowing where we’re going.”

You stayed turned in your seat, heart jumping out of anxiety every time you saw a random car or person pass by. “My home is the other way.”

“Wh- Oh, honey, no. They think you’re a part of us, you can’t go home.”

“What? Why not? I could just explain to them what I was doing- they’ll understand-“

“No, they won’t.” The redhead leaned her head back against the seat and bit back a sigh before mumbling to herself. “We weren’t even involved in their little spats with the other places. Why the hell would Edelgard come after us?”

You checked back one more time. “Didn't she say something about how ‘she’s the boss now’? Whatever it’s about, it’s because she’s apparently in charge or whatever. I- I just want to go home.” Your nose burned as tears filled your eyes, but you willed them to not fall. Hapi would definitely be the kind to make fun of you.

You thought back to the others- Yuri, Balthus, and Constance. Ellie had said that they were just some random college kids, making money to get by. Obviously they were more than that.

“What about the others? We just left them there.”

“They’ll be fine. They’ve had their fair share of fights. We’ll meet them back at the house.”

You could only nod and try to soothe your shaking body. Your arm still burned from the wound, but you didn’t want to look at it. Knowing the severity of it would only make it hurt worse.

Eventually, Hapi pulled into a normal looking house. It seemed inconspicuous, with a fraternity sign hanging out front to complete the “normal college kids live here” look. You shuddered. Things are not as they seem with these people, and their house for sure isn’t a normal one as well. Hapi got out of the car and scouted around it, searching the entire car before once again muttering to herself.

“... Can’t believe I forgot to look for a tracker-“

“Look who’s finally home! Hapis and- who’s this?”

Suddenly a loud, annoying voice shouted from the front door of the house. You looked up to see a new man, slowly putting down his waving hand as he saw you. From the top of the brick stairs, he looked quite tall, but as you continued to ascend, the shorter and shorter he became until he was scarcely a few inches taller than you.

“Hiram, this is Y/N. She was, uh, put in an unfortunate circumstance and had to come with us.”

His white eyebrows furrowed and he looked at Hapi confusedly before nodding. “Uh, yeah, okay. Come on in, then. Rhys is out getting takeout. What’s the circumstance?”

“Edelgard attacked the café.”

Hiram was still confused, but it was cut short as the same black van you saw earlier pulled into the open garage. Hapi motioned for the two of you to come inside, saying that Yuri would explain everything.

The house was more normal than you expected. The living room walls were painted a light blue with a couch surrounding the fireplace and a TV on top of it. The colors of that room contrasted greatly against the honey yellow walls of the kitchen, where everyone had gathered and sat at the table. You squeezed yourself between Hapi and Constance, the only other girls there.

“We should wait for Rhys-“

“There's no time.” Yuri scoffed at Hiram and leaned back on his chair. “Somehow, Edelgard took power from her father and is now the leader of the Black Eagles. I’ve yet to figure out what her plans are- attacking us, out of everyone possible- but I’m sure they aren’t good.”

You sighed and leaned against your arm, but stopped. You really, really needed medical attention for your arm. You also really, really needed to go home. You stood up.

“Okay, well, have fun with that. I’m out.”

Yuri laughed. “No, you’re not. Sit down.”

You whipped around to face him, your cheeks burning in anger. “I am! I’m going to leave this house, go to a hospital, fix my arm, and go home. I have no business here.”

You moved to leave again, but a pair of pale arms wrapped around you. One arm gripped your waist tightly as the other flicked out a knife, holding it against your neck. You tried to struggle, but the person- a tall man- tightened his hold even further. Yuri rolled his eyes.

“Easy with her, Rhys. You started having business here the minute you decided to open your stupid little mouth. Hasn’t anyone ever taught you to shut up? To think rationally in the face of danger? Did you even realize the danger you were in, or are you really just that dense?” He sneered, walking towards you. “You, Princess, have gotten yourself into a Hell of a lot of trouble. You’re right, you shouldn’t be here, but now it’s time to reap what you sow.”

You grimaced at Yuri’s close proximity and spat at him, making him stumble back and wipe his face in disgust. This caused Rhys to lift your chin with the knife, pressing down enough to leave a small cut. A trail of blood dripped down to your collarbone.

“I suggest you learn to keep your mouth shut.” Hiram laughed almost maniacally from the table. “Rhysie’s silent but deadly. Don’t mess with us.”

Said man finally let you go, pushing you back to your seat, which you took with a huff. Constance handed you a tissue from the small pocketbook she carried and you thanked her, smiling wearily.

Hapi, who had stayed silent the entire time, coughed awkwardly. “So, what’s our next move?”

Yuri shrugged. “We’re no longer neutral, obviously. But we don’t know if the Golden Deer or the Blue Lions are on our side either. Edelgard had to have had a plan when she attacked us.”

The six others sat in thought for a minute while you, on the other hand, had never been more confused. “Wait, what’s even going on? Why do restaurants kill each other?”

Hiram giggled and plucked the bloody tissue out of your hand, beginning to mess with it and look at the new stains. “You’re tellin’ me that you really thought this was just some dumb restaurant rivalry? Hah! Sweetheart, we’re gangs. Y’know. Drugs. Illegal trades. Turf wars. The usual.”

You tried to put more pieces together. “So, Edelgard’s gang is the bad guys?”

“Exactly-“

“We’re not good. None of the gangs are. Our sins are irredeemable- we’re not the good guys. Edelgard’s people aren’t the bad guys. We don’t know what’s going on right now.” Hapi cut off Hiram.

Said man snorted and ran a hand through his ponytail. “Hey, Rhys, say fuck for me.”

Rhys’s freckled skin flushed a bright red and he avoided the eye contact of everyone around. “...I can’t.” He mumbled.

“See? Rhysie’s good.”

Hapi closed her eyes and suppressed a sigh again, and you wondered what was up with her and sighing. “The next move is to wait. Maybe do a little digging in their computers and communication, but that’s Hiram’s job.”

“We’ve got to figure out something for the rat to do.She can’t just sit here and be in the way.” Yuri mused. “Housekeeping, perhaps?”

“I am not a rat!” You hissed, “You are!”

The purple haired boy only smirked. “Whatever you say, Princess. Go upstairs to the first room on the left. There’s a big stack of manila folders with profiles on the desk. Bring them back down here.”

You rolled your eyes and stood up from your seat, practically stomping your way to the wooden stairs. Opening the first door on the left, you found the folders Yuri was talking about. You reached for them, but hesitated and looked out of the window beside the desk.

It would be so easy to leave, you thought, but jumping from this height would definitely lead to a broken bone.

You committed this room to memory and grabbed the folders, taking your time down the stairs to plan an escape route if needed. You were going home, whether they liked it or not, you decided. You were close to the bottom of the steps when a paper slid out from one of the folders. It was a profile with a rather familiar looking face on it.

Yuri Leclarc, It read, Age 24. Affiliation: Ashen Wolves. Family: Father (unknown), Mother (missing).

You heard footsteps walk through the living room and you quickly snatched up the paper, stuffing it in a folder before you finished reading it all. Hiram became visible, one hand carrying a large laptop and the other, a basket of cables and other equipment. He didn’t say anything to you. Instead, he barely spared you a glance as he walked back into the kitchen. You followed.

“Here.” You huffed and slammed down the folders. Hiram was busy plugging up different cords and routers to the computer, still completely ignoring your presence.

Yuri nodded and stood, sifting through the papers before landing on one labeled “Black Eagles”. He pushed the other folders to the side and opened that one. He laid out 8 profiles, all of people around your age. You could’ve sworn you’d seen some of them around campus, but you nearly vomited as your eyes caught one certain profile.

Ferdinand von Aegir.

“It’s up and running!” Hiram’s voice knocked you out of your stupor. “A piece of art, truly!”

Constance snorted. “A piece of shit, actually.”

Hiram ignored her comment and grinned, placing his hands on his hips proudly. “I call it the Computer of Chaos. COC for short.”

The silence in the kitchen was practically screaming.

Yuri looked up from the profiles. “The what?”

“The Cock, Yuri-bird. Didn't you hear him correctly?” Balthus nearly choked trying to hold in his laugh.

“Exactly! And it works for everyone here, you just have to say your name and it’ll unlock for you.” Hiram motioned for someone to give it a try.

Yuri still looked at the computer quizzically, but walked towards it nonetheless. He leaned down and said, “Yuri Leclarc.”

“Access Denied.”

“What?” Hapi questioned, pulling the computer toward herself. “Hapi.”

“Access Denied.”

“Ohhh, that’s right.” Hiram’s grin turned mischievous. “It only answers to the nicknames I gave you all.”

If looks could kill, Yuri would have committed a murder. He sighed heavily and violently moved the computer back to him. “Yuris.”

“Permission Granted.”

“Go die.” He growled at Hiram, who only laughed.

“What nicknames?” You had to ask, but regretted it once Hiram’s smile was directed at you.

“I add an -is to the end of everyone’s names! Yuris, Hapis, Constis, Balis, but I call Rhys ‘Rhysie’, he doesn’t tell me not to~”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t fucking talk, that’s why.”

“Can I have a nickname?” If you were going to be stuck here, you may as well make friends.

“Hmm,” Hiram pondered, “No.”

“Wh-“

So much for making friends.

Yuri interrupted the awkward moment by slamming his hand down on COC, making Hiram gasp in protest. “Fucking- Hiram, try to find something- anything- to find out Edelgard’s intentions. We had a neutrality pact, she shouldn’t have broken it.”

Your head was starting to hurt from the events today. Rubbing your temples, you stood up, making everyone look at you.

“Listen, I’m tired. I’m stressed. Is there like, anywhere I can sleep? I can’t do much more.”

Constance nodded. “I’ll take you up to the spare room!”

She led you up the stairs and past the room you had gone into earlier. Opening the door to one of the bedrooms, she gestured for you to enter.

“I’ll have to lock you in, but I’m sure you won’t mind. You’ll be sleeping, after all!” Constance smiled, “Goodnight!”

You waved back at her and waited for the click of the lock before turning on the lamp and peeling your sleeve away from your arm. You grimaced- blood had dried and caked around the wound, which was still slightly bleeding. You needed medical attention, but you didn’t blame the Wolves for not thinking about it.

They certainly were stressed- being previously neutral and suddenly attacked. They’ve got enemies now and you suspected that was something they haven’t had in quite a while. And then there was you, the epitome of ‘wrong place, wrong time’. Who would’ve thought that you’d end up accidentally in the middle of a gang war when you moved here? Certainly not you.

Guilt tugged at your stomach. These people were different from you. You didn’t belong here and you needed to get out of their hair. Yuri made it obvious that you stuck out like a sore thumb, unaware of what to do like they did.

You glanced at the window in the bedroom and stood up, making your way towards it. You could easily unlock it and risk an ankle injury. You’d already hurt your arm, it would be fine.

Your two choices were to try to survive a mob that wanted to kill you all, or get a foot injury while escaping and get back to your normal life.

Unlocking the latch on the window, and sitting on the edge, you had already made your decision. You jumped down and ignored a loud crack that resounded in your ankle, slipping into the depths of night.

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taglist: @fairyblue-alchemist @emperor-pizza @flavoredmilktea @sadies-stories-n-things @mifuyuyu @blviddyd @laurexlance @atomicchocolatecookie @mapesandoval @local-goth-lilz

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[rappaccini]

How do you think the show will use the Sparrows in season 3 ?

so non-optimistically, as an attempt to double the cast, cram even more underwritten fanservicey romances in and to quietly create opportunities to get rid of characters the audience doesn’t like. if the sparrows stick around for more than one season, bad move.

because (i’ve mentioned this elsewhere), best case scenario, they are perfect to be foils for each of the umbrellas.

aside from the general reversal:

the umbrellas are an awful team but a true family, so make the sparrows a spectacular team but a terrible family who will eat each other alive for their own advancement.

the umbrellas realized that reginald is full of shit and are breaking free of him. make the sparrows... not. and therefore show the umbrellas who they could become if they keep doing reginald’s bidding.

pair each umbrella off with a corresponding sparrow and force them to grapple with someone who is the version of themselves they thought they always wanted to be:

luther desperately wanted to be a perfect daddy’s boy, so make marcus that. make him the confident, handsome man with a gorgeous body and total control over his followers and who is convinced he has dad’s love and that he is absolutely perfect in every way. and have luther finally realize exactly where being that picture-perfect leader would’ve taken him (namely, being manipulated and then having his hubris destroy him), and in seeing that, understanding that the problem was never him, it was reginald, because marcus had it all and lost it all too; luther could have been absolutely perfect, and he’d still have ended up where he did. cue luther finding a way to disown reginald, embrace his flaws, and come into his own as a leader for the family in his own right.

diego desperately wanted to be a badass macho man ruthless fighter who usurps number one and takes control of the family, so make not-ben overthrow marcus in a bloody, horrific coup. show diego where that line of thinking was going to take him to finally break him free of that ‘but make me the leader’ desire driving him. diego makes a big show of being pissed and annoyed by his family, but he will do anything for them if they need help; make not-ben make a show of how much he loves his team, only to leave them to die if they show any weakness.

allison is afraid that her rumor makes her a manipulative monster and she still refuses to look at the impact it had on the people she used it on, so make fei that monster who is everything allison fears she is, and has no interest in doing better. and make allison face fei down and grapple with the fact that she is not over her manipulative tendencies, and she has to face the consequences of what she did with that power, because if she doesn’t, she’ll turn into fei.

klaus desperately wanted to be free from all the pain and misery his powers and upbringing inflicted on him, and abused substances to make himself feel happy and insulated from that pain. s2 fucks that up considerably, but i suppose you can draw a parallel to alphonso being unremorseful in causing his family misery (especially if he’s blob-guy’s show analog, with the voodoo doll powers). specifically, have klaus realize how much pain his addiction is putting himself and his family through, by watching someone else abuse his own family by literally abusing himself.

five is on the end of his rope in terms of fearing that everything he’s been through has damaged him beyond the point of no return and that he’s an irredeemable killing machine. he carries an incredible amount of guilt about where his ambition and his abandonment of the family left him; notably, he constantly bails on them, but when shit hits the fan, he digs his heels in and stays to help. so with sloane, make him face off against someone just as ambitious, who might pay lip service about loving the family but will ultimately reveal herself to be cold, willing to sell them down the river for her own benefit, and remorseless about her readiness to abandon them for good.

the big mess with ben is that they never should’ve killed his ass off so idk what the hell they’re going to do with jayme. if lila’s the New Number Six, i guess she’d be jayme’s mirror. however i hate lila-is-six with all my heart so i’m not even gonna entertain that. 

vanya desperately wants to be perfectly in control of her power and deeply loved and adored by her family, and season two gave her all those things because season two sucks. so chip away at that, and make christopher the perfect vessel for incredible power that was never repressed or locked away, who is embraced as the heart of the family, and inflame those old wounds of ‘well why the fuck didn’t you guys do that for me’ that were just reopened by her regaining her memories. and, realizing what the cost of that absolute control and approval she’s seeking is: literally losing her personhood and being turned into an object, and/or totally sacrificing her humanity.

also, in terms of parallels, the relationships between the hargreeves themselves should be reflected by the sparrows:

luther and diego outwardly bicker and disagree, but at the end of the day have each other’s backs; luther will respect diego’s opinion, and diego will fall in and support luther. have marcus and ben present a united front, but secretly despise each other.

luther and allison’s relationship is the only real thing in allison’s life; sorry to the fans who think she rumored him, but she didn’t. it’s a mutual, genuine, loving, profoundly healthy bond that is good for them. so make marcus and fei the inverse of that; show the audience what it would look like if allison had rumored luther into loving her, by having fei manipulate marcus into a coupling that is one-sided and toxic. (and have fei either turn on ben for killing marcus, or help him do it because she hates that marcus doesn’t reciprocate her affection. either way, invert allison’s undying loyalty to luther.)

klaus and ben’s super queer friendship was deeply codependent and marked by a lot of things that went unsaid until it was too late. have jayme and alphonso’s friendship (... who thinks it’s gonna be a romance? i do) do the same, and be the prism through which klaus realizes how he feels about ben. and if through some saving throw new-ben somehow becomes Old Ben, have him realize the same. additionally, there were a lot of toxic elements to klaus and ben’s relationship, but at the core there was real, genuine love and care for one another; make alphonso and jayme play at being nice, but to conceal a rotten core to their friendship.

basically, the point should be that the umbrellas need to defeat their shadow selves. they need to face their worst fears about who they are, and whether they as a family are inherently doomed to be terrible to each other.

and in defeating the sparrows, they would be saving themselves from turning into those monsters, learning how to break free of their worst impulses, and realizing that they genuinely are capable of being a strong team.

basically, the show is about the umbrellas, not the sparrows. treat it as such.

... i don’t think they will.

[katarastrans]

i really hate when people say that azula shouldnt get a redemption arc. like i get that not every villain or bad guy deserves one, but azula absolutely does.

before i get into it, it want to say that im not very good at putting my thoughts into words, so i apologize if any of this is hard to understand or is worded poorly. its not completely cohesive or coherent but i just really need to get my thoughts out.

there are a few things that are vital to remember about azula: shes fourteen, shes a victim of abuse and shes mentally ill in a way that is very frequently demonized.

im not saying that these things excuse any of her actions. they dont but these things provide important context as to why she does what she does. shes still under the thumb of her abusive father and shes only fourteen.

ever since azula was very young she’s had to deal with both ozai and ursas abuse. ursa openly disliked, maybe even hated, azula. theres one particular scene in zuko alone where ursa says “what is wrong with that child” within azulas earshot, as azula is running past her and that might not seem like a lot but as someone who has had to deal with similar things its fucking awful and i struggle to believe that thats the only time something like that happened. its obvious that ursa cares more for zuko than azula, and its obvious that iroh(more on him later) also cares more for zuko. 

the only adult that azula has is ozai, so it makes sense that she wants to be exactly what he wants her to be. she does what he wants and acts how he wants her to act. theres a lot more than can be said about azula and ozai but im not going to because its not necessarily important to whether or not azula deserves a redemption (thats not to say that its unimportant to azula and her character, its obviously extremely important, its just not necessary to get into all the details for this particular discussion) and i found that trying to write in depth about this i was unable to say anything i was really happy with. other people can and probably have written about this better than i can.

so azula has never been able to come out from under the influence of ozai. she only has him to look up to.

why doesnt she deserve redemption? what is it about azula that makes people think that she shouldnt be able to learn and grow and become a better, happier person?

now im gonna talk about iroh a bit. iroh was a general for presumably a while. he literally laid siege to ba sing se for 400 days and didnt stop until lu ten died. he is a war criminal as an adult. as an adult who is old enough to have a son who is in the military. he killed so many people and didnt stop to consider that hmm maybe this is a bad thing until someone close to him died. and like yea, thats horrible. its a horrible thing to lose someone close to you but hes activley caused the death of hundreds.

so why do we forgive iroh? to me, hes done worse things than azula. yes, azula conquered ba sing se but she didnt lay siege to it for over a year and he did this as an adult.

well, we forgive iroh because the show has forgiven him. whats more is that the show puts iroh on a moral high ground. iroh is always made out to be right and he hates azula.

he never even put in the effort to get to know her (as seen by the fact that he gifts her a doll, which she proceeds to set on fire because its obviously a ‘well i guess i should probably get you a gift too. what do girls like? dolls?’ kind of gift’ while he gives zuko something he actually likes). 

azula is in a situation that is while different from zukos, is also very similar, and iroh treats her like a villain for it while he only supported zuko. dont get me wrong, what he did for zuko is extremely good. he did a good thing supporting him because he desperately needed that, but azula also needed it and what does iroh do for her? he calls her crazy and says that she “needs to go down.”

this isnt me saying that you should hate iroh. hes important to the story, does good things for zuko and is interesting (though hed be much more interesting if the show actually acknowledged his flaws instead of making him the moral authority of the show -_-). its just kind of fucked up how people treat iroh vs how they treat azula.

iroh gets paired with the phrase ‘make tea not war’ (a complete mischaracterization. my hatred for this phrase is unending.) and is treated as some wise old man. azula is routinely called a psychopath. and i get that the show displays iroh as good and azula as bad, but we do also get to see azula in a sympathetic light at the end.

im not saying that the last scene with azula is perfect, but it shows azula as a young girl who is suffering. whats going on is a tragedy. the music is telling us that and then we see her sobbing and losing control after katara has beaten her. i dont like that this is the last we see of her, but i do like the scene because, at least to me, it shows that azula is sympathetic (though she shouldnt have to have a public breakdown to be sympathetic but thats something else) and that shes just a kid in a really shitty position but apparently people miss this. apparently people watch the agni kai scene with its sad music that culminates in a child weeping and still think that azula is an irredeemable monster.

and even if the show didnt show azula as sympathetic to some degree she still shouldnt be treated the way she is by the fandom.

azula is psychotic (said in the actual use of the word and not in the ableist ‘oh she fucking evil’ kind of way. also said as someone who is psychotic). she hallucinates and has delusions and intense paranoia on screen. psychosis is extremely demonized. 

to me its kind of obvious that a lot of the ‘azula doesnt deserve a redemption’ argument is ableist. people will see an abused, mentally ill child and think that shes worse than her war criminal uncle. if you think that azula doesnt deserve redemption please think about why you think that. think about why you dont want her to get the chance to grow and become a better person and to eventually be happy. i dont care if she makes a good and interesting villain, that doesnt mean she doesnt deserve redemption. zuko was also an interesting villain but he got a redemption and stayed a good and interesting character.

anyways to end this: let characters with “scary” mental illnesses have the opportunity to grow and change and live happy lives.

[eliicries]

This is my first time ever writing a proper fanfic and also my first time posting it online. Criticisms are very much welcome. This is my alternative ending to the cartoon series "Clone High" (you guys should check it out, it's pretty great!) I love this pairing so much but I hated how they ended up sleeping together because I've always believed in character development and the ending felt like it wasted a good opportunity to do so.

_________________________________________

Enchanted (a joanfk fanfic)

How did it come to this?

Two bodies pressed against each other, one of which is hovering above it's counterpart, hot and eager to make contact. Then the other, whom lies beneath them writhing in discomfort yet somewhat obvious pleasure.

Never in Joan's life had she imagined herself being the latter in such an obscene situation.

Well atleast not with somebody else other than her bestfriend and absolutely not, emphasis on the word "not", with the certain campus playboy she used to avoid like a plague.

Heck, if someone told her last night that she would end up sleeping with JFK, she would've laughed her ass off for solid 10 minutes! Then proceed to sock their teeth off for even suggesting such an absurd idea.

But as she felt his breath fan against her bare neck, she felt her own hitch.

His lips met with her flushed skin and in their wake, left along little trails of pleasure of which accumulated into an emotion something else entirely.

Guilt.

It seeped into her flesh and gnawed upon her being.

Yet the feeling of betrayal against one's morals only increased tenfold when she made no protest to stop the male from completely lifting her shirt off.

Oh God, She actually moaned.

The himbo was not to be blamed of course. His previous advances had always been outright rejected, so as ecstatic as he was, her sudden change of heart confused him. An even bigger surprise to the both of them was when it was her who initiated the idea.

It's not like her to act like this. Was she really that frustrated beyond rational thoughts?

To make things even worse, it wasn't only the disappointment she has towards herself that's weighing on her mind but also of another person very much important to her.

Abe.

They've known each other since like forever.

Now, what would be a better way to ruin a good natured friendship other than one of them developing feelings for the other?

Just to her luck, she had to be the one who does the falling, whilst her companion seemed less than eager to catch her.

As if it's the universe's way to spite her, Abe suddenly decided to date someone else.

And of course, it just had to be none other than Cleo-fhking-patra.

Seeing them together at the school campus in a daily basis was already bad enough, now living under the same roof as her and all---she also had to suffer listening through the sloppy noises they make whenever they're eating their faces off.

She swears to god everytime cleo glances at her with that look of victor in her eyes, her blood boils so much. Oh, if only she was given an opportunity to poke them out with a fork.

Then, in a final attempt to win him over, Joan had to walk around wearing those god-forbid clothes and laugh in that shrill god-awful tone.

Yet to no avail, her feelings are still unreciprocated.

In the end even as a giggling vapid slut, Abe still chose Cleo over her.

Just like he always did.

He even seemed supportive with her hookup with JFK.

Another fuel added to the fire.

Now she felt really silly exerting all those efforts just for his approval.

She always berates Cleo for being such a slut but is she really better after how desperate she acted?

Maybe if only she'd been straight forward with him from the start, things would've ended in her favor.

Or perhaps it was wrong of her to seek reciprocity. Love, after all should be unconditional.

Either way, it's too late now.

She's so pathetic.

Suddenly a voice called out to her, a sudden ripple in her stream of thoughts, breaking her out from of her stupor.

Looking sideways, her eyes met with familiar droopy ones.

She hadn't even noticed that he had stopped moving a little while ago.

"H-huh?"

"Are you er, uh, alright?"

Oh. That's right.

She was with JFK, and they were about to have sex with each other.

"You were-uh, crying."

Immediately, she brought a hand to her cheek and felt the said liquid trailing down her cheeks.

Shuddering as she finally realized she was not only physically bare, but now also emotionally.

Great.

She atleast expected an expression of dissatisfaction from him, but the male said nothing and merely looked at her. Probably dumbstruck by the sudden turn of events.

The room was quiet except for her soft sniffles.

He seemed to fiddle with the bedsheets for a while before finally deciding to move closer to her.

"Can I er, touch you?"

Expecting him to continue on where they left but too tired to even protest, she made no movement whatsoever to stop the male. They might as well finish what they've started even tho the thought made her want to shut her eyes.

She was surprised however, when she felt his arms wrapping around her, securing her into a hug.

She turned to look at him, perplexed by the sudden act of affection that he is displaying.

"Did it not feel good?"

Ah, there he is.

Of course, It was just about his ego. How foolish of her to think that he, even for a bit, cared about her.

She tried to squirm away from his grip, her fists meeting with his chest. The male took this as a sign to loosen his hold of her but not as much to completely let go of her.

"I did something wrong didn't I?"

Her body suddenly ceased it's erratic movements. She turned to look at him, searching through his face for any signs of deception which instead, only offered a genuine expression of worry.

He was blaming himself.

He actually thought it was his fault that she was crying. That's why he stopped.

"I, er, um sorry.."

If she was already crying before, then she was definitely bawling her eyes out right now.

"N-no! It's not your fault i--why did you stop?" She exclaimed in between sobs. His hand settled itself on her waist while his other one made it's way to her hair, combing them in a way that's supposed to be therapeutic.

"There, there.."

"I wanted this, Kennedy! Isn't this what you also wanted?"

"Sure I do, but not when you're uh, like this." She lets out another sob. "Besides, If I do make you cry it's going to be for an entirely different reason, if you get my meaning."

"S-shut up.."

He suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at her causing her to roll her eyes. Normally, she would've been irked by his usual comments like this, but tonight must be a different case. They seemed to give her a weird sense of normalcy, and that somehow comforts her.

Her sudden movement made the male flinch, as if anticipating another punch for his pesky remarks, he was relieved however, when Joan just readjusted her head to lean into his chest more properly.

She found this actions of his comical, cute even if she dares, and she couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips.

"Have you calmed down now?"

"Yes, thanks Kennedy."

Silence enveloped the both of them for a while before Jfk decided to speak again.

"You know, this suddenly reminds him."

She hummed in acknowledgement.

"Uh, Lincoln."

"Oh."

JFK didn't fail to notice the weak croak in her voice.

"Yeah, it was around that time poncey died. It was just kinda like this, except ya' know, we weren't both naked."

She felt his chest rumble as both of them let out a chuckle, hers a bit stiffled from burrying her face into them further. Muttering, "That sounds just like him.." In a barely audible voice.

No words were exchanged afterwards. Silence embraced the room once again, the same way his arms did around her body. Warm and in contrast to the air outside---inviting.

The moon illuminated the dim room seemingly to say it's hello.

So she took the opportunity to get a good look at his face. There she could makeout the subtle movement of his nostrils as he breathes.

Inhale, exhale, Inhale, exhale, Inhale..

Till she found herself unconsciously moving to the same rhythm.

His eyes she noticed, are now droopier. As his upper lashes seeked to meet with his lower ones but never actually closed them as they were fixated onto her. Only now was she able to acknowledge the kindness she failed to notice that they seemed to always have.

Then his lips, which in contrast to the usual smirk he parades around campus, lost all it's cockiness and is now ghosting a faint smile.

He looked so endearing right now that she could only sigh.

Was this really the same guy who used to shove other kids into lockers before? The same one who used to view women as mere objects meant to gratify sensual pleasure?

I guess grief from Ponce's death did change him in ways even he is not aware of.

Or maybe, he's just not a complete asshole as she thought him to be.

It could also be that she's just lonely and desperate for any act of kindness so she clung into them when given. That would explain how she got into this situation in the first place.

But whatever the answer may be, there are two things that Joan is now sure of:

One, no one is irredeemable.

And two, the male never looked as much enchanting to her right now as he ever did before.

#joanfk #joan #JFK #Clonehigh #himbo #goth

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Why do people say that Aegor raped Calla when she was a child? Daemon betrothing his oldest daughter to Aegor does not mean the marriage was consummated when she was a child. Sadly, Daemon himself was betrothed as a child. His grandmother Daenaera was married when she was 6 and his grandfather Viserys II was 12 when he wed and 13 when he had his first child, only a year younger than Daemon when he had his. Usually, it is custom to wait to consummate if the bride is a child.

Furthermore, the people who hate the Blackfyres try to frame it as Daemon selling his daughter to be raped, but I doubt that is why he betrothed her to Aegor since he already has Aegor’s unconditional support. Calla and Aegor never had children, per GRRM, so Aegor championed his nephews and nieces, essentially dedicating his life to his brother and his family. Daemon didn’t need to sell his daughter to Aegor for support, so that was not the reason for the betrothal. (2/3)

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with his child brides (and grooms). He uses Unwin Peake’s nameless daughter dying in childbirth at the age of 12 as a reason for why he is so despicable (and that is despicable). But then has Aemma Arryn consummate her marriage at age 13 and paints her father, grandparents, uncle, and husband as decent people. Daenaera is then married at age 6 but doesn’t consummate until age 15 or 16. It’s due to Aegon’s depression instead of custom. (3/3)

Thank you for the very thorough ask, tiger. I hope that I have successfully responded to all of your questions. Calla, as with all Blackfyres (and many non-Targaryen women), has certainly gotten a raw deal when it comes to page time/character depth; her only mention is in twoiaf: “Whatever the case may be (for Aegor’s anger at the Targaryens and Bl00draven), Aegor Rivers soon began to press Daemon Blackfyre to proclaim for the throne, and all the more so after Daemon agreed to wed his eldest daughter, Calla, to Aegor.” As Yandel doesn’t make any further comments, I assume the people who believe Calla was raped as a child exist in fandom rather than on page. Rape is a very sensitive subject, and I’m trying to keep the fanwank a bit quieter, so my response will be under the cut.

Why do people say Aegor raped Calla as a child? This actually involves several leaps in logic I don’t find convincing, so I’ll try to break it down:

We are first introduced to Aegor in the Dunk and Egg novellas via mention by some Blackfyre supporters, who are the natural antagonists of the Targaryens; the protagonist, Dunk, is best friends with the Targaryen prince Egg. Many of the Blackfyre supporters are minor antagonists to Dunk, especially in The Mystery Knight when they attempt to kill him (Alyn Cockshaw) or kidnap Egg (Tommard Heddle). Meanwhile, Bittersteel is a legendary hero to Blackfyre admirers (such as Osgrey), at least an important hoped-for ally to the Whitewalls conspirators (Gormon Peake needed some quick victories so Aegor would have faith in his and Daemon II’s rebellion), and a threat Bl00draven takes as seriously as the Blackfyre sons themselves. As an important member of a faction which has members that tried to harm the protagonist Dunk, people see Aegor as a villain. 

The problem with seeing him as a villain (as opposed to simply an antagonist, which he undoubtedly is if you consider the Targaryens protagonists of the story) is that, due to lack of page-time and because he’s not that bad, he never actually does anything too villainous. Urging someone to rebel is at the end of the day just words. He took Bl00draven eye out in battle, but that appears to be an accident and doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. Leading the Golden Company to sack Qohor for failing to honor a contract is severe, but its only mention is in a non-canonical app that few people read. When his chief rival Bl00draven is a canonical child-murderer, child-crippler, kinslayer, deserter, head of a secret police organization, tyrannical overlord, etc...Aegor’s “evil deeds” don’t appear to add up to much. He might even seem more sympathetic than Bl00draven! But that cannot be, so fandom has to headcanon villainous behavior for him, because he must be a villain antagonist.

But what sort of villainous behavior should he do? In order to root for Bl00draven against him, it must be something terrible. GRRM often uses rape to signal how terrible a male character is (and how awful Westeros can be). The most evil villains in the main series are serial rapists: Gregor Clegane, Ramsay Bolton, Euron Greyjoy, Craster; even Tywin Lannister, Roose Bolton, and Petyr Baelish have raped or enabled the rape of young women and girls. When the age of the victim is specified, she is often a preteen/young teenager to make her rape even more evil. The lone exception is Joffrey Baratheon, and that is only because he is 12 (he still molests Sansa repeatedly). Fandom rightly criticizes GRRM using sexualized violence against women as shorthand for “irredeemably evil” or window dressing for a dark fantasy. Yet when Aegor, a character who shows no sign of being a sexual predator (look at Shiera’s SSM, the Dunk and Egg books, and Yandel’s commentary on Aegor’s anger at Bl00draven: one-sided Aegor/Shiera has even less evidence of being real than Daemon/Daenerys), needs to commit villainous actions, some in fandom fall into the same trap as GRRM and imagine him raping women.

Then Yandel tells us that Daemon “agreed to wed his eldest daughter Calla” to Aegor shortly before the Rebellion. As Calla was not a triplet of his eldest sons Aegon and Aemon, the oldest she could possibly be was 11, still a child even by later GRRM standards. The phrase “agreed to wed” is at most a promise; it’s not an official betrothal, it’s certainly not an actual wedding, and it’s absolutely not a consummation. If it had been a consummation, that certainly would have been mentioned, as Yandel has repeatedly recorded rumors just for the purpose of making Daemon look bad (the 14 year old newly acknowledged landless natural son petitioned the king for a polygamous marriage with a princess and an Essosi noblewoman? sure...) Considering Daemon died at the end of the Rebellion and Aegor was now a landless, penniless rebel dependent on his goodsister Rohanne’s mercy, and how the Blackfyres needed to find more allies, I think any talks of marrying Calla was silenced. She married someone else, whereas he remained a bachelor for life and championed the cause of Haegon and his son Daemon III (not necessarily the others, as seen with Daemon II and Aenys, and he did not crown any of Daemon III’s brothers). 

Whatever I headcanon, 2018 GRRM’s comment that he doesn’t think Aegor had any offspring pretty much puts the nail in the coffin of Aegor having consummated any wedded relationship, let alone with Calla. If a male character is promiscuous, GRRM raises the possibility of them having sired natural children; with Aerion Brightflame in Lys, and Brandon Stark in the North, and even Tywin Lannister, he says, “I suppose they could’ve sired bastards” (or in Tywin’s case, gives a non-answer). That he gave a straightforward NO regarding Aegor’s potential children indicates that he feels it would be out of character for Aegor to have a sexual relationship, whether in marriage or outside of it. I hope that when people headcanon Aegor as a serial rapist, they take GRRM’s comments and fandom criticism of sexual violence to heart.

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with the ages of his child brides (and grooms): I would disagree to the point that in his earlier works, underaged girls forced to wed old men was universally portrayed as terrible and a feature of a corrupt character. Hoster regretted his actions toward Lysa on his deathbed, but it led to their estrangement and her susceptibility to Littlefinger’s manipulation; Sansa Stark’s marriage to Tyrion showed the breakdown of societal norms under Lannister rule; Jeyne’s forced marriage and immediate consummation to Ramsay moves Theon to try to rescue her. Although the marriage wasn’t consummated, GRRM found it difficult to write the Tyrion/Sansa scene because of her horrific abuse. But then The World of Ice and Fire and Fire and Blood are published and older man/younger woman marriages and relationships are outright romanticized by the authors themselves (Elio Garcia said 37 year old Daemon Targaryen’s relationship with the 16 year old Nettles was a true romance; GRRM said that 56-year-old Alyn Velaryon was the great love of 21-year-old Elaena Targaryen’s life) Perhaps the lack of PoV in these works distanced the male writers from the female characters’ emotions and allowed them to envision Rhaenys (16)/Corlys (37), Corlys (61)/Marilda (17), Thaddeus (56)/Floris (14), and Aemma (11-13)/Viserys (16-18) as mutually romantic couples with sympathetic men; but then in the same works the authors use forced relationships with young girls to villainize other men Unwin Peake (daughter died in childbirth at age 12) and Aegon II (was receiving a blowjob from a 12 year old when his father died). The double standard seems to imply that a teenage girl can consent to a relationship with a man old enough to be her father/grandfather if she is genuinely in love with him, which is disturbingly close to real-life defenses of statutory rape. I hate the way that the supplemental material has suddenly decided to defend these couples with “the girls wanted it”, and I can only hope this doesn’t start appearing in the main series that people actually care about.

One type of underaged pairing seems to have a consistent portrayal: child grooms don’t seem to be granted the same mutually happy relationship as child brides. Both Viserys (12) and Larra’s (19) and Androw (17) and Rhaena’s (25) marriages ended in tragedy (and death, in the case of the latter). This makes me...unsettled when thinking about how the authors will write Daemon (14)/Rohanne (older). But to stay within the bounds of your question, I don’t think they will depict an Aegor/Calla marriage due to it making little political or characterization-based sense; so fortunately it will neither villainize nor romanticize Aegor. Although an antagonist to the Targaryens, he has consistently took the higher road over Bl00draven and has the potential to be a tragic and multifaceted character.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, once.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seven (30.43% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Significantly flawed, and well-known in fandom for it. Unpopular opinion? I still think it’s better than the first Avengers film.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Natasha and Laura pass in a single-line trade. It’s sooo close to not counting.

Female characters:

Natasha Romanoff.

Wanda Maximoff.

Maria Hill.

Helen Cho.

Peggy Carter.

Laura Barton.

FRIDAY.

Male characters:

Tony Stark.

Steve Rogers.

JARVIS.

Thor.

Clint Barton.

Strucker.

Pietro Maximoff.

Bruce Banner.

Ultron.

Sam Wilson.

James Rhodes.

Ulysses Klaue.

Heimdall.

Nick Fury.

Erik Selvig.

Vision.

OTHER NOTES:

Everyone talking about Strucker like we already know who he is...

The “Shit!”/”Language!” gag was funnier before they hung a lantern on it. Not least because it takes almost a full minute before Tony harks back to it (fifty seconds, actually. I checked). If you’re gonna make a Thing out of it, you gotta follow up immediately, not after fifty seconds of cutting around to different character intros and action shots and a whole lot of other dialogue. 

Urrgghh, ok, I’m going to break my standing rule about not discussing source material, because we gotta acknowledge the colossal wrongness of re-writing the Maximoff twins - canonically Jewish Romani - as willing volunteers in a Nazi science experiment. It gets worse the more you think about it. There are a few things about this movie which generated significant negative outcry, and this incredibly offensive decision is one of them.

Tony and Thor fighting over who has a better girlfriend does have a certain charm to it. If you’re gonna have a testosterone-off, it might as well be about how great your partner is.

I got a zero out of ten on this out-of-nowhere forced romance crap with Natasha and Bruce. We’ll come back to this later.

“I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta,” Tony declares, as he prepares to lift Thor’s hammer and thereby theoretically take charge of the Nine Realms. Primae noctis (believed to in fact be a myth) refers to a supposed Dark-Ages law that granted lords the ‘right’ to take the virginity of any newlywed peasant woman who lived on their land. So, this is a wonderful little rape joke from Tony (or, y’know, not so little, since primae noctis in reality would make Tony a serial rapist). Ha ha ha ha. Hilarious. Good one.

I’m really mad about the parts here that are total garbage, because mostly, the revels sequence has a nice low-key quality to it, good solid team dynamics. 

I can’t fucking believe that they played the ‘and then Bruce falls with his face in Natasha’s cleavage!’ gag. I cannot believe it. Is this a disgusting frat-boy comedy from the nineties?

Honestly, Tony, just shut up and admit that you KNEW from the get-go that it was wrong to try and make Ultron happen (that is why you kept it secret from everyone else to begin with); don’t try to defend the decision now that you’ve got a ‘murderbot’ on your hands. Take responsibility for a bad choice instead of talking shit about how you had to and everyone else is just too short-sighted, damn it! 

Andy Serkis is delightful.

The Iron Man/Hulk fight absolutely KILLS the momentum of this film. It goes for way the fuck too long (eight minutes) and has no narrative significance at all. Pro tip for action scenes: they should always be driving the story somewhere. You can pull off eighty minutes of action so long as your plot is advancing alongside/within it.

Also, Iron Man causes a huge amount of additional damage during this fight, in the service of the aforementioned pointless action. His efforts to minimise Hulk’s effects are extremely poor, and calling in his relief organisation to clean up after the fact does not negate that. 

Gotta love that throwing a wife and kids at Hawkeye at the same time as we suddenly start pushing this Natasha/Bruce thing. That’s not transparent at all. I also understand this to be a major deviation from Clint’s identity in the comics, and very unpopular with fans for that reason, but regardless; reinventing him as a family man to reset the romantic blather after baiting fans with the possibility of Clint/Natasha in the first Avengers movie is such a shitty move. I was not invested in the ship myself and would have loved to have them reinforce the just-friends relationship between Hawkeye and Black Widow, because there are not enough platonic friendships between compatible men and women in fiction, but 'they’re not interested in each other because they’re busy with someone else!’ is a weak reinforcement indeed. Less forced romances, and definitely less token wifey who exists for no other Goddamn reason at all. This comes out of nowhere, and not in a clever-surprise kind of way.

“You still think you’re the only monster on the team?” Natasha says, after telling Bruce about her sterilisation. This earned a HUGE backlash, and for good reason - despite all arguments about how what Natasha meant was that her being raised to be an assassin makes her a monster, the direct implication of her words as they are phrased and as the discussion is structured is that her inability to have children makes her monstrous, and that’s deeply offensive. It’s also completely in keeping with a narrative which is often played out against women, in which their value as people is attributed directly to their ability to produce offspring, so it’s not even like this outrageous implication of monstrosity - the corruption of what it means to be female! - is that unusual. It’s awful, but not unusual. Add on the fact that 1) Natasha’s nightmare-flashes specifically foregrounded her sterilisation over all other details of her training, supporting the idea that she believes that it’s what makes her irredeemable (instead of, y’know, all the murdering and stuff), and 2) this is Joss Whedon’s work and he is OBSESSED with highlighting the womanhood of his female characters and treating it like their defining trait while also variously punishing them for it, and you’ve got every reason to interpret this terrible fucking line as exactly the heinous thing it (presumably, unwittingly) seems to be. 

Steve ripping a log in half with his bare hands is the funniest thing in this whole movie.

Thor’s brief side-adventure with Erik Selvig is pretty out-of-place. He just...goes for a swim in a convenient magic pond that Selvig chances to know about. Seems normal.

Ultron is full of such boring, empty rhetoric. Reminds me of Loki in The Avengers, with all that sound-and-fury. 

I love Paul Bettany.

Man, they sure do find Natasha instantly. It’s almost like making a damsel-in-distress of her who needs to be rescued by the team was completely meaningless...

Breaking my no-BTS rule (since I already have done for this movie at this point) because it’s well-known how Joss Whedon ordered Elizabeth Olsen not to show exertion or ‘ugly emotion’ on her face in this film, because God forbid she compromise her attractiveness by being human. Joss Whedon is not human; he’s fucking trash. 

The final fight sure does just, y’know, get to a point where it ends. They really did not ratchet up the tension over the course of the Sokovia conflict, it just goes along until it stops (also, they say Sokovia is a country, but then they never call the city anything else, it’s just Sokovia. Is the city conveniently named after the country (very confusing), or is it a city-country, like The Vatican? I kinda assume it’s option three, which is that no one bothered to care because it’s just some fake European placeholder anyway and we’re not supposed to notice such a dumb oversight).

“I was born yesterday.” This is the best quip in this whole thinks-it-is-way-wittier-than-it-is movie.

Helen Cho deserved better than to be a prop rapidly dismissed and then just trotted past at the end for an ‘oh, she survived, btw’. 

Back when I reviewed the first Avengers movie, I said that I considered that film to be heavily overrated, so maybe it’s not such a surprise that I actually like this one better. The two primary problems I had with that first film were the overly simplistic plot, and the fact that most of the characters were OOC compared to previous films, and this movie does do better on both scores, so I feel more engaged by it, and less annoyed. That said...this movie has still got a lot of problems, and those include iffy characterisation and a plot with various holes, nonsensical complications, and conveniently ignored or smoothed-down dynamics. When I say I like this movie better than the first one, I mean just that: I like this better. That does not mean I am here to sing its praises. 

The tacked-on romance is part of the problem - for Clint as well as Natasha (but especially for Natasha). After Hawkeye was so heavily under-used in the first film (and his slightly-ambiguous relationship with Black Widow was the only human element that made him a character instead of a prop), Age of Ultron attempts to compensate by giving Clint a personal life, in the form of a magically-appearing heavily-pregnant wife and a pair of nameless children. The function of this family appears to be 1) to give Clint a reason to not be interested in Natasha, and 2) to ‘humanise’ him by giving him something to fight for and get home to, because we all know nothing legitimises a character quite like some otherwise-irrelevant dependents. Want a man to seem lovable and important? Give him a pregnant wife. That’s what women are for, anyway, right? To enhance a man’s story? In this case, to provide a man whose purpose in the story has been contested with insta-personality, because ‘he’s secretly a family man, ooh, twist!’ is way better than having to spend time on giving him something to do in the plot that is actually meaningful in some way. Great logic. Makes Hawkeye super dynamic, right? 

Natasha, unsurprisingly, is hit much, much harder. As the only female avenger and one of only two prominent female characters in a cast which has seven-to-nine male characters of equal or greater importance/screen time (YMMV on whether or not you think Fury and Vision count for that list), the pressure is already on for Natasha to be served up a quality narrative, because if she doesn’t get one, well...she doesn’t have six-to-eight alternative characters to pull the weight for her gender. The best solve for this problem would be to avoid the ‘Token Woman’ cliche in the first place, but since we missed that boat...not having the personal story of your only primary female character revolve completely around her womanhood and her catering to heteronormative expectations of a love interest would have been a good choice. This weird, forced, chemistry-free thing with Bruce Banner? Was the worst thing they could have used to define Natasha’s presence in the film. It sticks out like a sore thumb every time they have an awkward interaction, and it leads in to that atrocious ‘monstrous infertility’ element (though that particular egregious mistake could have been included with or without a romantic blunder, it...probably wouldn’t be, and we’d all be the better off). Even the Hulk-whisperer part of the relationship - while not awful on its own with all the unnecessary romance and Unresolved Sexual Not-Tension removed - serves to highlight Natasha’s female-ness by making her the soft maternal figure for the team, because God forbid one of the other male members of the team be asked to ASMR-speak to the Hulk while delicately caressing his hand. If Natasha’s presence in the first Avengers film leaned too heavily on her gender identity as a defining trait (and it did), this movie doesn’t fix that problem at all: it doubles down on it. 

The good news for most of the excess of male characters is, they by-and-large don’t feel as OOC as they did in the first film. The boorish romantic entanglement aside, Bruce Banner is still a naturalistic character highlight (all credit to Mark Ruffalo, who probably doesn’t know how to turn in a bad performance in the first place), and Thor’s dialogue is way less ridiculous this time ‘round, so he lands a lot closer to his personality from previous films simply by virtue of sounding like the same guy (unfortunately, the plot does not have the faintest idea what it wants to do with him as a character). Steve Rogers is still being written as if being Captain America is his character, which is a fundamental misunderstanding of his identity, albeit one which conveniently allows him to behave in a stereotypical self-righteously bland manner, thus avoiding the need for any nuance in his perspective or actions. This borderline fanfic-flamer ‘Captain America is my least favourite character so I’m going to write him as a boring stick-in-the-mud and then hopefully no one else will like him either!’ approach doesn’t grate quite as badly as it did in the first Avengers, and it can’t cancel out the innate level-headed charm of Chris Evans, so as disappointing as the bias is, it’s still a better balance here than it was last time. The one character who is not so flatteringly handled, however? Also happens to be the one who was arguably handled best last time, and unfortunately, he’s the one who is essentially treated as the ‘lead’. 

The big problem for Tony Stark is that this movie is not interested in digging in to the pathos of any character, it’s all-flash-no-substance on that front, and Tony really, really needed a less heavy-handed slathering of ‘afraid of what might come (feat. messiah complex)’ to motivate his actions and reactions in this film, because without any exploration he’s basically just a billionaire kid playing with matches. If this were an Iron Man film (either the first or third one, anyway), we’d get into some tasty deconstruction of Tony’s mental state and confront his hubris, etc, and - crucially, most crucial of all, it’s a mainstay of all his past stories in the MCU - Tony would own up to his mistakes, listen to the advice of those around him, and take contrite steps toward fixing the problem not just in the direct sense of ‘beating the bad guy’, but also in the personal and emotional sense of working on his own flaws and making amends with the people he hurt along the way. This movie offers none of that. To begin with, Tony’s ‘I know best and I will not be taking any questions’ approach to creating Ultron feels like a significant step backwards in his character development so far (Iron Man 3 was specifically about addressing his PTSD and associated tumultuous emotions surrounding the fear of imminent alien invasion, so his reactionary and secretive behaviour in this film feels particularly out-of-touch with a mental reality Tony has been explicitly working on for the past couple of years); Tony is actively aware that it’s a bad call and thus hides it from the other Avengers until it’s too late, and then he’s bizarrely unrepentant about his mistake. Worst of all, he actually attempts to repeat that mistake, only worse, late in the film (the fact that his idiotic ‘mad scientist’ pep talk actually convinces Bruce to help him again is the weakest character moment for Bruce outside of the aforementioned romance crap). The plot rewards Tony’s second, far worse mistake, in the creation of Vision, who turns out to be ‘worthy of wielding Thor’s Hammer’ and whatnot and conveniently provides every necessary skill to defeat Ultron in a deus ex machina so overt you could use it as a textbook example, so even though Tony had absolutely no way of knowing that he’d get a good result this time and almost every reason to believe he’d just compound the existing problem, his reckless disregard for the literal safety of the planet is treated like a good thing because it happens to work out this time, and they just kinda sweep under the rug the fact that Tony is playing God (and being uncharacteristically stupid and selfish about it - in other films, Tony is normally only reckless with his own safety, and it’s when his actions spill out into unintended consequences for others that he realises the error of his ways and cues up a positive learning curve; it’s what makes him palatable). At the end of the film, once Ultron is gone and Tony has thrown some dispassionate wads of cash into ‘relief efforts’, he strolls and quips and eventually drives off into the sunset in his expensive car, with nary a mention of, I dunno, maybe a little guilty conscience? Maybe a hint of having learned a valuable lesson? The closest he gets is just suggesting that it might be time he retires from Avenging, but neither he nor anyone else lets on that there’s a need for serious self-reflection. The Tony Stark in this movie is the nightmarish male-fantasy version of the character, the playboy with the cool tech and no limits who does whatever he wants and then...literally rides off into the sunset in the end, no muss, no fuss. He’s kinda like a complete reversion to his original self, pre-Iron Man, frittering money around and designing weapons of mass destruction while convincing himself he’s bringing peace to the world one explosion at a time, but that Tony has no business here, seven years of character development down the track.

While we’re talking iffy characterisation, we should also segue into plot, and that’s something we can do easily enough by looking at our villain, Ultron. Calling Ultron an actual character feels...ambitious. He’s a CGI robot full of empty rhetoric and, you guessed it, more of those quips that this movie has in place of any meaningful dialogue. I’d call him self-fellating, but he ain’t got nothing to fellate, so instead he just blathers a lot in a manner that sounds vaguely poetically intelligent but is, upon a moment’s consideration, just vapid nonsense (much like Loki in the first Avengers, as noted above, but at least Loki had the benefit of a flesh-and-blood actor delivering his lines with conviction; James Spader does solid work as the voice of Ultron, but trying to make a CGI robot who spouts a school-kid’s attempt at edgy philosophy sound like a genuine menace is an uphill battle). Speaking of genuine menace, I assume the reason the film is called Age of Ultron is because A Couple of Days of Ultron Causing Disturbances in a Handful of Specific Locations was too much. For all the big talk (and there is..so much), Ultron doesn’t get up to all that much trouble, most notably in the sense that he apparently has his code all over the internet and yet he doesn’t bother stirring up a single ounce of chaos with that ungodly power. Why bother including this as an element of the character if it achieves zero story? Is it purely to make Ultron seem ~unstoppable~ because he keeps downloading into new robots? Because it didn’t really land, y’all. They try to play it like a big victory for the good guys when Vision burns Ultron out of the ‘net, but in context it’s meaningless because he didn’t do anything while he was there. Pretty much everything about Ultron was all talk, little to no action - even a whole bunch of the trouble he did cause happened off-screen, with Maria Hill just popping in to let us know that ‘there are reports of metal men stealing shit’. Cheers, cool. And you know, Ultron makes a song and dance about how he’s going to save the world by ‘ending the Avengers’, but then he...does not pursue that at all. He tries to make himself a pretty body, the Avengers thwart him, and then he enacts a doomsday machine to destroy all life on Earth. Like every other aspect of the character, the whole ‘end the Avengers’ schtick is just white noise, there’s no meaning in it. Ultron is just a same-old-same ‘What if Artificial Intelligence wants to WIPE US OUT?!’ cliche, and maybe that’s what he was in the comics too, I don’t know, but it’s the job of the film to tell that story in a dynamic way, and they had two and a half hours to do it. And yet.

There should be more to this than a nondescript placeholder villain concept and a series of action set pieces that just kinda happen until they stop. At least the first Avengers had some variety in each of its action sequences, using the location and the different skills and weapons of its antagonists, whereas this one is just ‘there are robots and the good guys punched and shot them until they were all broken, the end’. Even making the city fly in the end doesn’t actually make it interesting, not least because the characters spend most of their time running around the (weirdly, perfectly stable) streets not having to deal with any consequences of being up in the air anyway, and the doomsday device is too nebulous to ratchet up any real tension about figuring out how to deal with it. The conflicts with the Maximoff twins have at least some spark of life in them, but the characters themselves are treated to an over-simplified and very contrived narrative arc that uses what they do and what they know more as plot devices than as details of actual people’s lives, leading to a cheap death for Pietro so that Wanda will be distracted enough to abandon the big ol’ doomsday button, and it’s just all so convenient. There’s no heart in any of it, and it makes the moments that try to have heart all the more embarrassing and out-of-place (don’t even get me started on what a prescribed attempt at tugging the heart-strings it is to have Hawkeye name his magnificently well-timed newborn after Pietro, because DAMN). When I said I liked this movie better than the first Avengers, I meant just that: I like this better. That’s not to suggest that it is significantly better in any sense, because it isn’t, and I can’t even argue that this one has a better story, because honestly, it doesn’t. The first film made more sense, it was just less interesting to watch, and the things about it that were contrived were contrived in different ways. The first film was weaker and more irritating on character, and character is always the most important part of a story for me, so as annoyed as I am by the major character blunders in Age of Ultron, I’m still not as annoyed as I was after The Avengers. That is damning with the faintest of praise; this is just not a particularly good movie, it makes a poor use of its cast at the best of times, delivers a sub-par action extravaganza, and the script is not half as witty as it gleefully convinces itself that it is. It comes as no surprise, I’m sure, that I am very glad a certain writer/director departed the franchise after disappointing everyone with this outing. I say I like this better than the first Avengers, but gee, it’s a close call.

[yourfandomfriend]

The Thoughtpocalypse | Dollhouse Review

So there’s this show from the late oughts called Dollhouse that you've undoubtedly heard me talk about before.

It’s been around for a long time and nobody got it in it’s first run so I’m just gonna spoil the whole goddamn thing because I’m tired of it being overlooked.

** MAJOR SPOILERS** FOR DOLLHOUSE ** MAJOR SPOILERS **

Ready?

Are you sure? I’m spoiling it all, are you sure? Okay.

Dollhouse was about the Apocalypse. 

Big whoop, right? We’ve had tons of shows and movies about that. But most people don’t get far enough into this show to find out what it was actually about. It sold itself as a sexy sci-fi thriller about a futuristic brothel. The idea is that, for a hefty price, a “Dollhouse” could make someone into anything you wanted via advanced technology. It erases their memories and replaces them with new ones. A spy, a lover, a consigliere, a wet nurse, whatever you want.

And if that sounds immoral and disgusting? It’s supposed to. 

This show got a reputation as one of those porny, “pretty people doing evil things” soaps. (Like the scandalous prestige television that’s, hey, winning awards for HBO and AMC nowadays!) But it’s actually a show about how man’s inhumanity towards man will lead to the end of the world. Because the Dollhouse isn’t the real story here, it’s just the tip of a very scary iceberg. 

“There are over twenty dollhouses in cities around the world. They have ties to every major political power on the planet. [...] The Dollhouse deals in fantasy. That is their business, but that is not their purpose.” -- “Man On The Street”

The company that owns and runs all the Dollhouses is called the Rossum Corporation (the name is a red flag reference to “Rossum's Universal Robots”). They use the Dollhouses to fund and test technology that would go on to be used for slavery, global warfare, and immortality for the wealthy and powerful.

We focus on the L.A. dollhouse for a number of reasons.

For one, it’s where the technological breakthroughs originate -- the lead programmer there, Topher Brink, (Franz Kranz) refined the “imprinting” process from analog cables writing imprints chronologically over the course of hours into a micropulse signal dumping imprints in all at once in a matter of minutes.

Because of him, Rossum’s tech advanced to the point where it could create monsters if even slightly mishandled.

One such monster was called “Alpha,” (Alan fricken Tudyk) an early dollhouse guinea pig who started misbehaving due to his former life... as an irredeemable, violent psychopath. They plucked him out of prison to experiment on him and didn’t see it coming when he lost his marbles and started attacking people. When they tried to run a diagnostic on his prior forty-eight imprints to see which one could’ve caused his violent streak, they accidentally dumped all of them into his brain at once, something they later dubbed a "composite event".

Alpha escaped, plotting to eventually take another doll out with him. With his new super multi brain, he invented a pulse gun that could wipe a doll of their imprint remotely. Something that wouldn’t be possible without Topher’s micropulse imprinting.

This tech directly led to a dystopian near-future wherein world powers with the technology could send a blanket signal imprint over the radio or really anything with a speaker, creating a nation of idiots or an instant army of millions “programmed to kill anyone who’s not programmed to kill anyone.”

Topher never meant to hurt anyone, his intentions weren’t sinister. He just had the brains and imagination to see beyond the limits of science and the hubris not to wonder whether we should move forward. But he wasn’t the only guilty party.

Adelle DeWitt (played by my forever-wife, Olivia Williams) was the head of the L.A. house. As a terribly lonely, misused person with trust issues and a job that didn’t allow for a social life, Adelle engaged a doll companion herself and was naively convinced that the Dollhouse would truly help people, save them, and give them what they needed, emotionally. 

At one point, Adelle made an exception for a very wealthy, middle-aged friend of hers and imprinted her onto a pretty young doll posthumously, so she could attend her own funeral and solve what she assumed was her own murder. It all worked out but it set the precedent. Before long, Adelle would be informed that “upgrades” (your personality imprinted into sexy young bodies that don’t belong to you) would be service available to their wealthy clientele.

The character who tries to turn the tide back is Echo (Eliza Dushku). She was originally an idealistic young woman and eventual eco-terrorist named Caroline who accidentally found out Rossum was experimenting with humans and dedicated her life to taking them down by any means necessary. When she eventually got caught, Adelle offered her the chance to clean the slate by signing away five years to the dollhouse.

As an “active” (someone given the hollow mental architecture an imprint can be built over) Caroline had her memories copied, stored away, and then wiped from her mind, making her a simpleton. Between engagements, she would be kept as an innocent, carefree dumbass in a spa-like new home.

Unfortunately, she caught the attention of pre-composite Alpha, who became obsessed with her. When he found out another doll was more popular than Echo, he mutilated her with a pair of pruning shears.

Eventually, after Alpha killed a whole mess of dolls and bolted, Echo would go on to be the most requested doll in the house. But there was something different about Echo. For some reason, she was slowly becoming immune to the imprinting and wiping process, retaining her memories of her life as Echo, and eventually, of her engagements.

And underneath it all, she was still Caroline, the girl who wanted to save the world and lead people to freedom. but because Echo had the self-awareness to protect herself by protecting the dollhouse, Adelle allowed her to flourish, unwittingly creating her worst nightmare: a renegade doll immune to the imprinting process.

If you, like some others on the netty webs, saw a few episodes of season one and wondered who you were supposed to sympathize with in this amoral mess, the real answer was basically, “Not us. Humans ought not to be monkeying around with brainpans.” All of the questions you have get answered and all of the characters who do wrong pay for their crimes in time, most of them even coming around to making amends.

Dollhouse was about hubris and the disasters we can cause by disregarding others’ rights to autonomy. In an age where undreamt-of tv excellence comes standard, his show doesn’t deserve to be remembered as trash...

I had to get all that off my chest. 

I dunno, I guess I’m bitter that, in the years since Dollhouse was canceled, the tv landscape  proves viewers will identify with and even root for incestuous serial killers, wild west sexbots, ruthless cannibals, meth kingpins, post-apocalyptic warlords, and Don Draper, but a show about why it’s not okay to screw with humanity’s ability to say “no” was just too sketchy.

PS: I first wrote “sex bots” with a space between words and Grammarly just corrected my spelling.