#cause i havent posted shit lately

[akaakeis]

idk why but i feel so off today

[rca-ryzies-ralley]

uhhhhh hazbin hotel redesigns yippee my coolest friend ever did the rest of the cast go praise him

[lynn-tged-posting]

my usual weekly posting is gonna be a little late again whoopsie sorry about that

my yapping will return like wednesday or something. maybe thursday depends on how my labs and hw assignments go, we'll see!!!

[phagodyke]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[loverboybitch]

havent had time to catch up on my dash but just thinking about my friend saying at dinner “you know who really lives in the moment? shane.” and she wasnt joking...insane.//.

[scorchedmizar]

wait

midnight root beer float stfu

Pretend Mizar is there too or smth, mfer doesn't ever wanna be drawn

midnight root beer float stfu

[t0rturedangel]

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 ━ ♡

POST COVID ! KYLE BROFLOVSKI X READER

A/N - I love post covid kyle sm, he's amazing. FYI this is pretty shit so uh yh

KYLE fell onto the other side of the bed, letting out a groan. It was clear that he was annoyed at the fact his old friend- Eric Cartman was his name- and his family began to stay over since they couldnt any where else.

You turned your head to face your husband, a small smile resting on your features. " Hey its okay hun, im sure it wont be too bad " You shifted your body so you'd be on your side, staring at him. Hearing him sigh he turned his head so you'd be face-to-face, his brows knitted " Y/n, you know i love you but you dont know Cartman- he was an absolute asshole when we where younger, he still is now ! "

Quietly laughing, you ran your left hand through his red locks, to which he eased up, letting you do so. He really enjoyed having you by his side, it just made things so much easy for him. " Im sure it'll be fine baby, its been years since you've seen him, im sure he's changed! " " Yeah for the worst " He groaned again before lifting himself up throwing his side of the covers over his body.

His hands quickly grabbed at our waist and pulled you closer to his body, a high pitched yelp left your lips as he did so. Even though he's done this for a good few years it still manages to shock you when he does. He held you body close to his, resting his chin on your head " Ya know, im glad that somehow i managed to find you " he pressed a kiss onto the place where his chin rested not only a second before.

" Same " You grinned against his chest, arms lazily warped around him, " Lets go to sleep now hun, its late " you could hear Kyle hum in agreement but before you could both close your eyes and fall asleep a loud noise and clapping sound could be heard from one of the other rooms. Immediately you could hear Kyle sigh angrily.

Trying to ease him again you gave him a slight squeeze but it did practically nothing as when the voices of Eric and his wife came through the door about their love for Judaism you also got quite annoyed, not to mention uncomfortable. Sensing your discomfort Kyle grumbled quickly letting go of you and getting out of bed, leaving the room.

You knew something bad was gonna happen between the 3 and you really didnt want to intervene even though it would be the best idea to do so. While you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go Kyle returned, clearly stressed and upset.

" They'll be gone in the morning n/n " he muttered getting back in the bed, by your side quickly wrapping his arms around you just as he did before. You hummed, brows furrowed "Kyle, let them stay, they have no where else to go " your husband shook his head " No, n/n, i dont want them in our house. They made you uncomfortable for fucks sake! " "So what? Everyone fucks their partner Kyle!" "But no one does it while yelling about their love for Abraham!" "Whatever ..."

deciding to just let it go you pressed your face into his chest, your hold on him loosening causing the man to stiffen, realizing he upset you. he awkwardly hummed, hiding his face in your hair " Ive upset you havent i? ah- shit- I- im sorry babe, i'll uh.... i'll let them stay " you could hear the annoyance in his voice when he talked about letting them staying but you were glad he was gonna let them.

"Thanks hun, i love you"

" I love you too "

[yilingpatriarchscvnt]

Paper Ring (Part 2)

"I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings."

Gekko X M!Reader

Summary: A popular boy with terrible grades, a less popular boy with straight A's.

Highschool au! Almost all characters are high-school student,Reyna is gekko's older sister, brimstone is M!Reader's father figure (adopted sigh).

"Please tutor me!"

"Why the hell should I? Rip-off Eminem."

As Y/N held kita in his arms, he couldn't help but glance back at the boy behind him. He had turned away at this point and was walking in the opposie direction to him, but y/n could still see his tall, softly muscular and well built figure, his green hair and oversized jacket he was wearing to shield himself from the cold. Something about him seemed familiar to y/n but he just couldn't put his finger on it. The boy shrugged and walked faster to prevent getting cold.

Y/n glanced up at the sky, seeing a blanket full of stars and a cloud of breathe whenever he breathed. it was the beginning of february. "hey kita, for valentine's day want to spend the day together?? I'll buy you all your favorite snacks~" The cat simply meowed and nuzzled into him further. He looked down at ther and chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

once he got home he set kita down on his bed, causing her to snuggle into the blankets. He smiled, awestruck by the fluffy creature in front of him.

Y/n got distracted by the non-stopping buzzing in his pocket. he took it out to see a messae from his best friend, jett.

Windbuzzer or something

Jett

y/n

y/nnn

y/nnnnnnnn

RESPOND OML

Y/N

Y/N

miss girlie chill </3

Jett

I CANNOT CHİLL

DAMN.

Y/N

what got you so frustrated and excited at the sametime

Jett

Not very fond of this boy but have you seen gekko's instagram post?

Y/N

Gekko? that one rip-off eminem? the disgusting slug hair colored dude?

Jett

More like the "hottest" dude in class

ugh, I dont know why all girl and boys love him.

ANYWAYS-

İT'S A PİC OF A CAT THAT LOOKS LİKE YOURS

Jett sends a screenshot of gekkos post; a white fluffy cat on the ground with the caption saying "who's cat is this? I want it."

Y/N

Huh

HUH

WAİT

THAT LOOKS LİKE MY CAT

Y/N

Oh shit.

I have some stuff to tell you I guess.

Jett

HUH?

wtf

wdym

Y/N

HA

I'll tell you at school

I am sleepy.

Jett

NU UH

HEY

RESPOND

Y/N

DAMN İT

I'LL CHOKE YOU TOMORROW.

♥

Y/n glanced back at his fluffy cat sleeping peacefully on his bed, he looked at the instagram post again, that was definitely his cat.. that mean the boy his saw was gekko? mateo? or whatever they call him. the popular guy in his class, loved by everyone and famous on instagram by his looks and vines and pics. as far as y/n knows he only wastes his time by going to parties he bet that rip off eminem studied once in his life. No wonder why he had the worst grades in class.

Y/n smirked at his cat. "Youre famous huh buddy?" he put his phone in the charger and joined his cat to sleep. "Tomorrows gonna be pain in the ass.." he yawned feeling hiseyelids getting heavier and fell asleep after some minutes.

---

I woke up with a ringing in my head, I felt like someone was calling out for me. "Y/N I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DONT WAKE UP I AM GONNA BOMB YOUR ROOM." I opened my eyes quickly and oh fuck we were late. I ran up to my window seeing a... furious Jett stomping her feet on the ground as she shouted to me.

"H-Hold on! Give me just 10 minutes!" I tried to get past through my messy room to find my uniforms. "And you have audacity to ask for minutes?!?" This time she was in front of my door.

"I'm sorry, after spending half of my time trying to find kita I got so tired." I grabbed my bag and looked at the mirror fixing my hair before leaving the house.

It was already 08.18 am and we were running to the school. "I- Ah! HOW DO YOU RUN SO FAST?!" I said through my breathes. We speed up as she hold my hand dragging me, "YOU STILL HAVENT TOLD ME HOW YOU CAT ENDED UP WITH THAT EMINEM!"

"Do you think this is the right time to tell the story?!?" We stopped at the school gate, taking a few breaths before entering. As soon as I stepped someone held my shoulder.

A tall tanned figure with... oh. "Y/N? Right-"

"Get away, you egg shaped head." I instantly turned my head dragging Jett with me to the class. But no ofcourse that boy was following me "I need help with my lessons, please tutor me!" I stopped.

[komohine]

hello oh my gyad you’re my favourite artist EVER. I love the warm tones of your drawings and the way you draw keith and james is so so pretty (you have 100% converted me to be a jaither) like seriously keith is gorgeous and the outfits you draw him in are ethereal. I have many questions ive been brewing for a little bit and you don’t have to answer all of them but feel free idunoo👍👍👍

1. in the college au, does keith have his cheek scar? if so, how did he get it?

2. what is james’ and keith’s favourite thing to do with each other in free time? in every and any au you have

3. how does wearing clothes bode for james in the android au? does every tiny string get caught between the metal or does he just not wear a shirt half the time? or the third more sinister option, fabric just doesn’t catch in the plating at all

4. what colour are keith’s eyes.

5. does james play any sports/instruments like every freakish extracurricular absent parent having kid ever?

6. thoughts on the keith neurodivergent headcannon?

7. would james ever introduce keith to his family? or is he no contact/they wouldn’t care?

8. do you headcanon keith with any galra features? if so, what are they?

9. favourite food and colour headcanons for the both of them?

10. do you think keith would have any piercings?

+ a singular drawing request, soggy keith (thankyu for reading c:)

Hello i love you guys take notes from this anon please ask more questions like this i wish tumblr allowed me to answer a question more than once but PLEASE ASK HUGE QUESTIONS LIKE THIS I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄 I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄

Also THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMEBTS HEEHEE 🙏 i try my very best to deliver fire content 🫡 which is why i havent posted a finished piece in a while… im cooking… 😈 also its way too late for me rn to get out of bed and draw so i will reblog this with soggy keith… sometime later…

Beware a huge freaking wall of text… but id appreciate it so much if anyone reads and responds to my headcanons and adds on 😄

1) TW: ASSAULT. i was debating this, and i think yes but its much smaller than the one he has in canon. He gets it in roughly the same way, an altercation with kuron (evil shiro, except kuron is just a major asshole who isn’t related to shiro but tries to take his place through manipulation. Keith (and everyone except james actually) fell for it). Keith eventually confronted kuron outside a bar after repeated attempts to get closer with keith during their night out and kuron got pissed and pulled a knife. Fortunately keith is also an mma legend and wiped kurons ass but he got a pretty bad cut on his cheek. James made sure everyone knew about what kuron did (james is hella connected because of his parents wealth and also bcs he was trained for a while to inherit his parents company. Also, James is an incredibly smooth talker and can convince anyone of anything. So kuron pretty much has zero chance at a job in the future cause he got blacklisted from everywhere lol). This is me painting sheith as the weird freaky violently uncomfortable shit it actually is lol 😄

2) canon compliant: literally anything that isn’t high risk and stressful. Cooking, reading, sitting on the couch watching bad horror movies and shouting out plot predictions and then laughing when they’re right. Because theyve had too much drama in their life. They really appreciate the times when they can wind down. Playing fetch with kosmo is also fun, because yk teleporting wolf, so they need to get creative to get kosmo to exercise.

College AU: similar, chill things. But because of james’ absolutely insane schedule and keith’s investigative work about his father’s unusual death, they don’t really get much time together outside of studying together, lunch dates (james always makes time for lunch. Well he tries, but he has notoriously bad scheduling luck so he’ll end up with back to back classes from 8 am to 9 pm, no lunch break, or random 2 hour gaps where he needs to go off campus to a diff location for his next class so he cant acc spend those 2 hours relaxing its just him fighting downtown phoenix traffic), etc. but they’re both pretty outdoorsy, so both him and keith like going camping when they can. Its a nice break for the both of them. Also james made keith run a marathon with him once. Keith barely survived, snd slept for 18 hours after, but it was fun! In return keith dragged james to his mma gym and tried to get him to do a kick (because james is one hell of a sprinter. He has sprinter legs. That should theoretically translate super well into an insanely strong kick) but james was too nervous. every time he stepped in the ring he’d just stand there awkwardly and not move. He did send one of those punching bags flying with a kick though after he worked up the confidence (keith was right!)

Android au: uhhh kind of not applicable i fear. I cannot say why. But sometimes james lets keith clean his gun. When things get rough, he’ll let keith fix him up if there’s anything broken.

3) lowkey the sinister third option. Maybe they have some special super tightly knit fabric that’s impossible to catch on things. But also, the androids are designed pretty well, and are surprisingly devoid of super snaggy edges

4) violet. In human au, black, but im a firm believer of him having dark eyes that shine a dusty violet when the light hits them just right

5) canon compliant: TRUMPET AHHAH HES A TRUMPET PRODIGY no actually it makes me a little mad just how good he probably is at trumpet. Like gorgeous, bright tone. Huge dynamic range and lung capacity. Im so mad. Probably also piano. And fencing. He is also extremely good at sabre fencing. And i was saving this hc for later but wtv ill just repeat it: james was the one who taught keith how to wield a sword because i refuse to believe keith picked up his bayard and it formed into a sword just because. No man, its because james would beg keith to practice fencing with him and keith would finally relent and james would teach him pretty much all he knows. And keith remembered those lessons.

College au: track and field. Specifically, sprinting. James is acc so good at sprinting that he went to the olympics twice and won silver in the 200m the first time, and gold in the 100m the second time (lets pretend youssef flash (usain bolt counterpart) stayed home that year for whatever reason). And also ballroom dancing! Like waltzes and shit. Hes such a loser. And probably piano and trumpet too but they’re not so important lore wise.

6) YEEESSSS i also believe in james being neurodivergent in some way. No neurotypical man likes finance that much (my personal headcanon. Also in college au he does high level 1000 page math workbooks for fun.)

7) canon compliant: i havent thought that much abt james’ family in the canon universe. Tbh theyre probably all dead (hence why he reacted so harshly to hunk in that one scene) by the time he and keith get together officially so there’s not much he can do. He’d take keith to his sisters grave just to tell her the news (his older sister was the only person in his family of like 7 that gave a fuck abt him). During their garrison days, he probably never mentioned keith as a way of protecting him from his family.

College au: yes! He tried! Unfortunately his homophobic republican christian parents did not appreciate it. James really introduced keith as a last olive branch because he was alr so close to cutting them off, but their reactions were so bad he lost his temper in public (never before seen) and stormed out halfway through their planned lunch dragging keith by the wrist. And then he cut them off.

8) me personally no. If im being so fr every time i see galra feature Keith it always comes across as infantilizing in some way? 😭 like “ooo kitty ear keith!” somehow you are infantilizing both asians AND a completely made up race guys. The only real feature is maybe his funny coloured eyes? But galra eyes are yellow so uhhh… but i think internally there’s a lot more galra presentation. Like his heat/sickness tolerance, sleep cycle, endurance, etc.

9) i havent really thought of this, i have colours I personally associate with them but hmmm. (Canon compliant, but probably applies to all of my aus) Keith’s favourite colour? I dont think he would really have one specific one but he might list off some colour combos he thinks looks nice. Like red and black. Hes also not super picky, but he really misses his dad’s halo halo. James is too depressed to have a favourite colour. And he likes anything that is a painful experience while consuming. Like very strong and bitter black coffee, straight everclear, your most acrid cigarettes. Because he hates himself.

10) in my college au he has a snake bite! Only one though, on his right (our left) side. Also he has his lobes pierced. I dont think he’d have anything in canon compliant, just bcs his hair is already pushing the garrison guidelines and i dont think they’d let him pierce anything. Maybe earlobes, but thats it. Same goes for android au.

[aspengenic]

Hi, I saw your recent post/asks and I'm a little confused so I wanted to ask for clarification

I'm part of the DID/OSDD community on tumblr and I've been seeing a lot of posts there lately advertising the sunnyville minecraft server. It doesn't really look like my thing but we have a couple alters who love minecraft and were thinking of joining. But I stumbled upon your posts about someone named Eden who's the owner of the server being really gross and harassing people? Have I read that correctly? I'm completely out of the loop and I have no idea who this Eden person is, what they've done, if any of it is true, or how this relates to the mc server thats going around Tumblr right now. Pls explain like I'm 5 years old because I'm so so lost. This feels like the kind of thing you need to be 9 layers deep into lore/drama to understand in its entirety and I just can't decipher whats going on or what's wrong with sunnyville but I would really like to know the full story since I was thinking of joining

aight im at work so this is probably not going to be as detailed as it should be but eden/collectiveofeden/welcometosunnyvillesmp used to be known as aspensentourage on here and on tiktok. they did some reaaaaaal problematic shit like calling people slurs, doxxing childrens pks, trying to doxx a trans girl who is a minor and also said some super disgusting things about her and find out who her parents were (and roped other people to do it too), said gay people groom children, all kinds of things.

they did this for a long ass time (theres people saying theyve been doing this shit since 2019 but i personally havent been sent proof abt it yet). people told them how it was awful and harmful and they doubled down and said they didnt care basically.

heres just some of the screenshots i have from the aspenfrostsnark. theres much more on this blog though.

so anyway they gave an "apology" but only to the snark reddit about them. but no one trusted it and they promised they wouldnt be engaging in the system community anymore and stay off social media.

but they deleted the apology altogether and their excuse was "having an account would trigger me to look". but then they kept using reddit anyway with their account

theyre also posting back in the system community despite saying they were staying away from it bc they caused so much harm. they rebranded and refuse to answer people asking about it and will block anyone who does. they wont talk about it on their biggest platform, or anywhere.

many people aren't even aware that eden is aspensentourage. its all just super fucked up.

now theyre pretending to be fine with endos and pretending they didnt cause harm to endos and traumagenics alike.

no one trusts them because they are untrustworthy. those that do trust them are blinded by their bullshit and excuses.

hopefully this is enough bc i gotta get back to work before they catch me chilling in the janitors closet to type this lmao but if you have any more questions feel free to ask. youre also welcome to scroll through as much of this blog as you like

and anyone is allowed to add their own stuff of course

[sethsclearwater]

Hihihi maddieee!!!! I havent been on here in a FAT minute so i just wanted to drop in and say that soapy still LOVES YOU!!!!

Its currently 2:40am and im feeling a little bit of angst to hurt to comfort and maybe some fluff. I saw your post that said a song by g-eazy is very paul coded (everyone knows i love my paul content, im not ashamed at all lol) and my favorite song with g-eazy is Him & I with halsey (VERY BASIC BUT ITS SUCH A BANGER IDC)

I was thinking smth like paul x imprint!reader where they just havent been spending much time together because paul’s always busy, and one day she catches in some type of lie which is followed directly by him coming home late as fuck and she just feels like something fishy is going on. Maybe some other woman drama but nothing with implicit cheating (i cannot handle that rn ngl). Reader is super fucking hurt and they argue terribly, at first he’s angry with her for accusing him and she’s angry with him because why tf are you mad at me for being mad at you how does that get fixed type shit. Idk how it gets fixed but reader really does give him a piece of her mind and tells him about himself (girl power asfk). A LOT OF GROVELING AND APOLOGIZING ON PAULS PART. And this is rlly long now so ima let you handle the rest cause i know you got this shit frfr 🤞🏼🤞🏼

ANYWHOOOO, LOVE YOU XOXO SOAPY 🧼🥰

I CANNOT BELIEVE I DIDNT SEE THIS UNTIL NOW OMG😭😭 it got buried in my requests but i missed you too!! 🥺🤍 this is AMAZING and i'll definitely be writing this one asap! obsessed!!

[bulbabutt]

yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.

[ap41cu5]

can you do joseph x reader when the reader have a nightmare when reader wake up from the nightmare but she doesn't wake joseph up because she doesn't to bother him but he can't sleeping without her and he comfort her

Plagued Dreams

Joseph Oda x F! Reader Rating: Fluff Genre: One-Shot Fluff Word Count: 1173 Short Synopsis: The reader wakes up from a nightmare that used to persist often in the past. The incident causing the nightmare had troubled her for months and she had seemingly recovered from it. But the nightmare returned, and the reader, who didn't want to wake up her fiance (Joseph Oda), begins to have a meltdown in the living room. Joseph hears her cries and immediately goes to comfort her. A/N: im gonna be honest this is not my best work and i am so sorry that i posted this so late but i do hope that you enjoy this nonetheless! i havent had much time to write as usual, and i apologize if this fic isnt as long as you were hoping

“Holy shit, oh my God..” you whispered to yourself, your head aching as you rubbed your temples.

You had just woken up in a cold sweat, gasping for air as the sheets clung uncomfortably to your body.

What the hell?

You couldn’t wrap your head around it. You had gotten over it years ago, so why did it come back now? You hadn’t even thought about the incident in months. Why was such a tragic memory coming back to haunt you?

It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault, so why was it that you could never shake the feeling of guilt that washed over you whenever it was mentioned?

You looked over to Joseph, who was peacefully lying beside you, the sheets sloppily thrown on top of him and one of his arms carefully wrapped around your torso. His lips slightly parted and his head tilted, even lightly snoring. The clock on his nightstand read: 3:23AM.

You were always so grateful to be engaged to a man like him. He was smart, had a delightfully dry sense of humor, beyond compassionate, sweet, and such a gentleman. He always had a knack for reading you like a book– like all of your thoughts were written above your head for him to see. You balanced each other out wonderfully, rendering the both of you the perfect team.

You moved to gently shake him, but checked the clock one last time before your hand had the chance to make contact with the resting man. The small lettering beside the time read in all caps: TUE. That’s right. It was a Tuesday morning, meaning you both had work. It wouldn’t be fair to wake him up and have him miss out on sleep because of you. 

Carefully retracting your hand, your eyes still scanning his sleeping form, you gently took the covers off of you and got up out of bed. You gently lifted his arm off of you and placed it atop your pillow, hoping he wouldn’t notice the difference as you began to make your way towards the living room.

Carefully shutting the bedroom door behind you, you immediately headed for the kitchen to treat yourself to a cold glass of water. 

The cold liquid made your throat ache as you gulped it down. It was oddly refreshing, and seemed to clear your head during the brief moment. The night was silent, the only sound rushing through air being the occasional buzzing of cars passing through the intersection outside the kitchen window. 

Placing your glass in the kitchen sink, you made your way towards the couch. Maybe watching a bit of TV would help put me back to sleep, you thought. Plopping down on the couch and grabbing the remote, you flipped through a couple channels before finally settling for the news. Since it was three in the morning, you had a feeling nothing good would be on anyway.

You tried as hard as you could to focus on the news, but the incident refused to leave your fatigued, debilitated mind. Images seemed to flash through your head, no matter how badly you tried to think about anything else. Nothing seemed to work. It was suffocating. You hugged your knees as you felt your chest begin to tighten. The low sounds emitting from the TV seemed to fade into nothingness as everything around you seemed to crumble from beneath your fingertips. Your breathing became heavy as you tried your hardest to snap yourself out of it. Tears cascaded down your cheeks and the walls seemed to cave in around you. 

“(First Name)?” The sound of Joseph’s voice seemed to cut through the haze of your anxiety.

He quickly took your side, wrapping one of his arms around your back as his other hand moved to cup your cheek.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’ve got you,” Joseph quietly muttered to you as he gently pulled you towards him.

The feeling of his arms around you immediately helped you to ground yourself again. His embrace was warm and his words were comforting. You turned, slowly wrapping your arms around him as you sobbed into his chest. 

Joseph stroked your hair, “It’s alright, you’re alright. I’m here,” he whispered into your ear. 

He laid backwards onto the couch, allowing for you to lay on him as you held him. His scent was awfully soothing, and his warmth only added onto it. His arms were carefully wrapped around your waist as he pulled you in. One arm placed around your hips, the other gently rubbing your back.

“It wasn’t your fault. It never was.”

At this point, you were squeezing him. Your head buried in his chest, your legs wrapped around each other’s, his head in your hair. 

It always took you a while to finally calm down whenever you’d experience any panic attacks or meltdowns related to the incident. But Joseph was always there for you, every step of the way. Willing to do whatever it took to help you calm down no matter how long it took. He never grew impatient, not once. 

He grabbed you a couple of tissues to blow your nose with while he wiped away your tears. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up, (First Name)?” Joseph asked, his thumb wiping away a tear as he caressed your cheek.

You sniffled, “I.. I didn’t want to bother you. You looked so peaceful while you were sleeping, and– and you’ve had to do this for me so many times already. And you have work in the morning–” “(First Name), I will always be here for you whenever you need me. I love you, (First Name). I’ve never been more sure about anyone else before. You are the most sweet, thoughtful person that I know. That’s the reason that I’m marrying you,” Joseph tilted your head towards him.

You chuckled, “you’re so sweet, Joseph. I love you so much, I really don’t deserve you.”

“You never give yourself enough credit, (First Name). I know better than anyone how amazing you are. I can say with full confidence that you deserve the whole world and more. I love you, (First Name),” Joseph murmured, cupping your cheek in one of his hands.

Taking one of your hands in his, he gently coaxed you back up onto your feet.

With one arm around your waist as he began helping you back towards the bedroom, he gave you a kiss on the cheek.

“Let’s head back to bed, my love. And after work, why don’t we visit that new cafe that just opened up? It’s been awhile since we’ve gone on a proper date, and I think you deserve the treat,” Joseph gave you a slight smile as he tucked you in.

Climbing into bed beside you, you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist to cuddle him. With your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, and one of his hands gently stroking your hair, you felt yourself almost immediately drift back off to sleep. 

[kumezyzo]

i had a random thought based off of your last post i would loooove to read about like the night they finaaallyy agree to start dating like?!?! imagine how cute n shy they both are and bonus if they haven’t met up irl yet THEIR FIRST MEETING IRL!!!!! the cutest!! i hope you have a good day :)

-🐬

yes because its so cute. i havent thought about it in depth but you really got me thinking 😭😭 streamer!reader and bf!sapnap's 'origin story' is so cute

anyway, enjoy.... or dont :) m.list

the night crush!sapnap became bf!sapnap was a quiet one. and it did happen to be night. roughly 10 pm, give or take half an hour. and sapnap was a little fed up with the prolonged flirting and had gotten enough courage in him.

"hey, sorry for calling so late..."

"no, youre fine. why did you call?"

crush!sapnap whos heart was pounding as he tried to find his wording, a silence filling the air between you two. the silence only caused you to fill with anxiety.

"i wanted to ask you something..."

"oh okay... what is it?"

crush!sapnap who feels his heart race as possibilities start flying through his head.

"i want to start by saying, i really like you," you couldnt help but feel your heart flutter in that moment. "and, i- shit- i want to be your boyfriend."

the grin on your face grew as your face started heating up at his words. but as you tried your hardest to not freak out, he started to regret calling you. he started to doubt if the feelings were mutual.

"i totally get it if you dont feel the same way... i just needed to tell you. um... yea sorry for calling about that this late-"

"nick! no, i want to be with you too. dont hang up please."

"wait really?"

now bf!sapnap who feels such a sense of relief before he cant finally get relish in the feeling of finally dating you.

crush!sapnap who you had met a handful of times in person before you two started actually talking in a romantic sense.

now bf!sapnap who asks you to come visit a week before christmas and gets butterflies thinking about finally being able to hold you.

you also couldnt help getting excited as you got off the plane and walked through the airport knowing he was waiting to pick you up.

bf!sapnap who engulfs you in the biggest hug when he sees you walking towards him with a huge smile. you let go of your suitcase and feel warm once youre finally hugging your boyfriend.

this also happened to be the first time you saw dreams face and you filmed it for when dream finally did his face reveal.

it wasnt until later that night, when you were in bf!sapnap's room that you two finally kissed for the first time. you two were laying in bed, cuddling and talking about how surreal it felt to finally be together.

you would look at bf!sapnap from where your head was laying on his chest. he would look down at you and smile softly. without realizing, you two leaned in and your lips met softly.

when you pull away, he's grinning and a blush is evident on his face. he giggles and you look away, trying to hold back your matching grin.

cute couple shit fr

if this feels rushed.... its cause it is 😭😭 i tried and my head hurts so.... leave me alone for a bit -Nony

ps. have a good day too 🐬 anon 😁

[shadowscommand]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

[system-of-a-feather]

(more programming / TBMC / RAMCOA talk; nothing too heavy, same as last post, we just put it under the cut for ourselves cause these topics don't benefit most parts to engage with and thus we kept it off our own notifications)

But honestly, lately with how far into recovery we are and how much on and off fusing with XIV has stabilized me a lot more and made me a lot more clear with who I am and all that shit, I've largely been thinking a lot on the shit I've been through and all the parts I've been, cause at this point, I'm really trying to reconnect with my scattered subsystem parts.

Less so "scattered" and more so long lost because - for those that don't know / havent followed - like nine months or so ago an old version of myself that went by Data just kind of imploded under a lot of stress, pressure, trauma, and self destructive loops that were set off by the way we were healing and what not.

It was honestly really fucked up and a really unfair cause we were genuinely trying really hard to be "a good part" but programming and shit kept had us between "literally dying and at complete overload" or "doing shit that hurts ourselves and the system" and so we'd always just end up doing shit that caused problem and honestly, we had done everything we could to remove ourselves in that form from the picture in a healthy and failed multiple times - and so it was honestly kinda super fucked that when trying to stop existing, we instead shattered into like 4 or 5 parts

But in the end of it, I was a part that existed as a complete - for lack of better words - "burn out" and very extreme "turned off" response to the programs that were being regularly triggered prior to self implosion and it was a huge mess at first, but it ended up with me becoming the host of that subsystem and really? As much hell as it was, the implosion and generation of another subsystem really I think disconnected a lot of the experiences we had as Data and managed to shut down a number of parts to actually let me develop beyond just a "burnt out" state.

And in hindsight? It really worked because while I'm still Data, still part of that heavily and completely fucked programmed original part, I was "generated" in a state of literally being unable to deal with anything and as a part to cope with that and with space, really became a more developed part who is centered around the ability to cope and deal with what we were programmed to do and to.... NOT do that.

And now that I'm a lot more stable and full of a part, I honestly can go back and collect and look back at our experiences of how things have happened and how each part felt and worked and put things back together. At this point I hold almost everything Data originally did. I can look back and replay things and understand things and understand where everything came from, but I'm *not* Data - I'm Chunn (everyone in the brain says I should start spelling it Cheng or at least claim that as my secret Chinese name because its pronounced the same but I like the Chunn spelling so they can fuck off /hj)

And in that sense, the thing Data wanted so bad - to not be here and to not be in the way and to have anything but chronic stress and trauma responses and to just not cause problems for everyone in a desperate attempt to feel safe again - while it's not at all in the way he wanted or imagined it to be, he - we - got it. I don't resemble him much at all anymore, and that's sad in it's own way, but at the same time, is that not the very wish itself? To be ourselves but in a form we created and not in the form someone else created us for?

Anyways, these days it's kind of funny cause I basically serve a roll for the system that is the OPPOSITE of what we were programmed to do and while other parts are not as "impacted" as I was, I do end up sitting here and looking at the "less impacted" parts and go "Okay well that came from this shit I did and you don't notice it but that behavior of yours is intended to synergize (negatively) with what I was programmed to do so I'm going to tell you that I don't want to participate in that"

Cause as much as we were the overtly programmed part, I'm really realizing that it neither started nor ended with me and it really is oddly nice to be able to look at that and help in detangling this garbage.

And not to go into the details for safety reasons, but recently our therapist asked a question to Riku / Fei as to why we were doing XYZ and not another thing that would be more in character for them - and at the time they came up with some round about reason and explanation to which I had to ask, when they were thinking about it the next day, ".... is it not just because [feeling and condition that I know was an active major trigger]? Because you know you can state that and that is a perfectly valid and healthy thing to say. You are allowed to think that." and the genuine level of which they seemed to very hesitantly state it to themselves as if they were afraid to Set Something Off - it just really clicked something with me.

Cause that would have been me. That would have been me that would have been set off. That would have been me that would have changed that thought into a borderline / active crisis and/or mess that would be far more stress than just compliance to the programming. And in this moment, not only was I NOT being Set Off by it, but I was encouraging them to try it again despite many many many years of reinforced "if you do that you will regret it"

And it's really kind of nice to see. I can't think as original Data would, I barely can comprehend just how stuck that version of me was - they were so deeply intertwined in the programming its unfathomable even though it was me and I have the memories of it. Thus, I can't say "Data would be happy and proud to see where we've come", but I would like to think - even in the hell they were in - that theyd be comforted to know where we ended up.

But I digress. I felt like sharing this most of today cause man have we come far.