#cause he's their grandpa

[litt1e-prince]

"Yeah Grandpa, that's the one who stole my peach!" take a swk warm up sketch while i remember how to draw again

[biboomerangboi]

Obsessed with the idea of Xie Lian getting his spiritual powers back and not really using them outside of like subconscious actions. Like in a fight he spent 800 years just straight up throwing hands so it doesn’t really occur to him to use it. But because he’s literally stuffed full of spiritual energy it just results in Puqi Shrine becoming the fairies house in Sleeping Beauty. Like there’s a pot stirring itself while truly toxic ingredients are added to a soup. The floor is being sweeped by a broken broom. The laundry is being done automatically meaning all his white robes are now a faint pink. Hua Cheng is sitting in the bed grinning fondly at the chaos around him. Meanwhile Xie Lian is just sitting outside sorting out his junk piles to see if he can find the pretty comb he wanted to give his husband and thinking of the chores he has to do today because they didn’t leave the bed until noon.

[heshmmity]

fun fact!! i have a bill plushie and when i draw i lean on it. and this poor dude witnessed all sorts of horrors.

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Metalhawk: bro stop calling my people NAILS

Starscream: if you tase me im gonna make u my dead wife istg

Wheeljack: why do your optics turn separate directions whenever i mention the word 'plan'.

Ratchet: yeah i have arthritis so idc if i die tbh :/

rodimus: im buying an rv and me and all these strangers (who like me more than u, not that it matters ) (im hot) are gonna * EXPLODES EVERYONE *

wheeljack, in the middle of discussing a very elaborate pain-staking plan:... ... something just exploded & i wasn't the cause 😢...

prowl: WHERE IS YOUR RAGE

needlenose: i sure love my big dumb evil husband. sure hope a disgruntled little popcorn kernel doesn't detonate a bomb in his head

Wheeljack: fuck my life

Starscream: i love lying, so, naturally-- im gonna become a politician.

ironhide: i saw the hat man

the intelligent Bumble (bee):

[backpackingspace]

Of course post-canon odysseus and penelope love each other (they are a little bit insane about the other. Neither is allowed to leave the others side for months after odysseus gets back. They cycle between sobbing on one and another and aggressively making out. ) but it's true that they have both changed. It's been twenty hard years after all. So

Odypen courting each other again just for the fun of it. Odypen deciding to act like teenagers again and make elaborate plans pretending to sneak into the others room.

Odysseus sending penelopes 90 year old dad a letter challenging him to a race for penelopes hand in marriage. (This does not go over well but penelope though it was hilarious)

Odysseus begging Athena to help him win penelopes heart/hand again. (Athena: What no why you're already married I don't understand you ) (she helps anyways)

Penelope weaving all of odysseus's clothes. Penelope hauling out every tapestry she made of telemachus's childhood (she made one for every year. To gift odysseus on his birthday when he returned.)

Odypen leaving telemachus incharge while they go off on dates (to harssass, cause problems, and badger other people into giving them things). It should be fine Athena has been sticking close to the house lately. And it's only for an afternoon anyways (at first. Headcanon that penelope came with odysseus when he had to go plant the oar and call it a windmill quest.)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so like do you think they made the plastic wheelchair ALONGSIDE the plastic prison as a Just In Case situation, only after they realized charles was going to be a frequent visitor, or both as in because they knew charles was going to be the only person visiting him during planning they decided to make him a chair ahead of time

[pathojon]

I LOVE MARTIN

[woodsie]

ok sorry but kirsty choosing to still cerenovus nilsey on the final night was so fucking funny

[sprunkimortality]

I'm adopting Simon

No questions asked

I'M GONNA MAKE HIM MY SON-

same bro 😔 /silly

[6-epigraphs]

Have we ever seen this old man being affectionate with drivers or other juniors? Or just Yuki? I don't even think I've seen him this close to Max and Seb (off the podium at least)

Brother.

[honeygrahambitch]

If Will convinced Hannibal to fish with him, I'm 100% sure Hannibal would ask Will to put the earth worm on the hook for him because his princess hands could never touch that thing ew

[lavenderspence]

watching jason gideon be a chaotic little shit just brings my serotonin levels up

[labeanzsz]

More of the little Cuties

OOP- Oc mentioned… I needa stop I ain’t funny…

[stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling]

landed in oregon last night!!!! god that took forever

sitting in a little metal tube in the air for 6 hours is not fun for my legs

but now i am at my grandma and grandpas house )

[starthelostboys]

rip sam who at some point in his life is going to be willed grandpa emerson's entire taxidermy collection, which he doesn't want or know what to do with but feels too bad to give it away