#casual friends at best maybe
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updates, because I live blog everything: saw him for the first time in like a month, first thing he did was go to hug me (kind of a half hug but god he hadn’t done that in so long) and I feel pretty good about most of our interactions, I’m always looking for reasons to feel bad but honestly. for the most part it felt really good. like not because he likes me (because he doesn’t) but because things are finally friendly and good again with us. I’m still me so I’m awkward but held my own in the group setting pretty well I think. I wanted to see him so badly and I did and overall I feel good. things are always subject to change and I don’t want to jinx anything so that’s all I’ll say. it felt nice.
#isabel talks#standing by and waiting at your back door#like at the beginning of the year things. weren’t pleasant between us#nothing was ever said but I’m sure he knew I liked him and he just handled it so poorly#and it was just cold and awkward and weird#and even though they improved this past semester until the end Id resigned myself to things being just. forever awkward and bad#and they’re not perfect clearly#I don’t think I’d say we’re /friends/ but it’s friendly and not just teammates or acquaintances#casual friends at best maybe#but it feels so much better#like from around the time I think he found out up until his breakup there were no hugs. nothing even close#and I’m afraid because I’m going to flirt and shoot my shot (I would’ve flirted more if we weren’t all outside in the dark)#and I don’t want to go through that whole thing again#but……. he’s a risk worth taking I think#and it’ll always kill me not knowing bc I never gave myself a real shot with him#so. yeah#I’m afraid of inserting myself where I’m unwanted but. we’ll see how things go#but I fell back into my bed giggling when I got home and that hasn’t happened in a long long time
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you know what i have decided i also really like this paragraph i wrote only because i fucking love the word wibble and it reminds me of that sound paper makes when you flop it back and forth and so my brain superimposes that sound onto the image of wade moving his head and it's really funny to me and also i'm going insane bc it's 2am and my exam is in 12 hours and i cannot get anything done bc there is something seriously wrong with me that i have not gotten diagnosed yet and so instead of studying the rest of the content i have not covered i am thinking about the word wibble and purging my ao3 bookmarks like a normal sane person bc i am normal ok goodbye
#user: gossippool 😝#gossippool writes#my best friend casually suggested a few months back that i lowkey might have depression and you know what. maybe i do actually#who FUCKING KNOWS!#im losing my mind#okay#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson
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Doctor: Huh, is that who I am now?
Donna: It was never that far from the surface, mate.
Doctor: frowns Yes, it was! You know I used to be a woman. And that made people... assume all sorts of stuff. And - and pretending to be Graham's wife for five minutes was bad enough but - Byron? That was torture. Does the man ever stop talking?
Donna: Takes one to know one
Doctor: Oi! I just mean, there were all these men people assumed I would be into and I - and I just - I just wanted -
Donna: I know, darling.
Doctor: softly I just wanted Yaz.
Donna: I know. - There was one man, though, remember?
Doctor: No, there wasn't! I don't fancy the Master!
Donna: ...
Doctor: Okay, fine. But the Master isn't a man. He's like me! Flexible - uh - timelord gender and stuff.
Donna: Sure.
Doctor: So, anyway, I have always been primarily into wom-
Donna: What about Jack Harkness?
Doctor: - Jack doesn't count, everyone fancies Jack.
Donna: ...fair enough.
#Donna: can we also talk about how you were literally married to a man in Gloucester?#Doctor: How is THAT something that stuck to your brain?#Donna: I met you there. Shaun and I did the walking tour.#Doctor: Huh. - Was I any good?#Wild blue yonder#Donna Noble#Sorry I am just still hung up on the 'is that who I am now' comment#Because I feel like what they actually meant to say was the Doctor going I AM QUEER?!?!#as if they didn't just spend three entire series making heart eyes at Yaz#So it makes more sense to interpret it as 'Hang on I like men too?' but honestly even that is such a stretch?#Yeah sure 13 is very much not into men#(except for the Master)#(maybe Astos)#(possibly Swarm)#(obviously Jack)#But any other incarnation has been very openly into men?#Like 12 kept name dropping guys he fancied/was fancied by? Like that algae king and stuff. Also the Master#(Let's not talk about 11)#10 had a very intense thing with Harold Saxon AND Jack#Plus the number of guys he flirted with - among them Shakespeare#And I don't even have to talk about 9 whose first kiss on screen was with a man#To be fair it is mostly off-screen/casual and the Master and Jack#So like if we interpret it as above we can make it work at least#(But. Yes. Also: Lee!! Literally married a man. Even if that was only for staying undercover there were definitely some deep feelings there#and I am quite sure had they been purely platonic they would not have posed as married. But as siblings or best friends or something)#If we are being completely real the sentence is probably about the Doctor discovering they can find people hot now#But that actually wasn't there before I think?#So then Donna's comment makes little sense#Or no hang on - 12 found the dinosaur hot and all of them the TARDIS obviously#So maybe that's what it's all about actually
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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maybe i need to kiss a woman and all my problems will disappear
#something happened to me yesterday#it made me question my sexuality#AGAIN#NOT AGAIN PLEASE#maybe i'm truly bi and i'm going all wrong about life#maybe my best friend is right i should just lose my virginity to a woman#also i say virginity as it is important#it isn't#it just makes it harder to have casual dates#which#i honestly don't even want#i don't want anything casual#so maybe this is just silly#anyways#me#mine#my post
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I love kenstewy I do but I still think about when with my mom I saw the first episodes of Succession and Stewy was introduced and they were in the bathroom and Stewy did a line of coke after asking Kendall if he wanted some but Kendall said he was sober and my mom didn't even look at me and said "Friends don't do coke next to recovered addict" and then stayed silent for the rest of the scene. And I still think about it. What does this say about Stewy.
#maybe this is more about my mom than stewy#but yes I can't wrap my head around this#I mean it may have to do with my mom that she is a doctor#first autopsy she ever did when she was young was a couple of guys#in their 20s they died because of heroin I think#she has seen stuff#and also I am obsessed with trainspotting you know#so why. why did he do that line of coke next to kendall#'he wasn't thinking he is just as much of an addict' not that we have seen though not that we have been told#there's something so casually cruel#'he didn't think' there's cruelty there in not thinking about sniffing coke next to your best friend who just recovered#I am haunted I am#stewy you've been ready to lay your life's at kendall's feet#that line. why did you do that line#kendall roy#stewy hosseini#kenstewy#brainworm#succession#tw drugs#tw addiction#tw death
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OP I hope you know your banger headcanons have got me to start wondering if there’s memes on the extranet about stuff like “introducing your Galvan friend to your Tetramand friend vs introducing your Cerebrocrustacean friend to your Appoplexian friend”
Anon I also hope you know that my first thought after I saw this ask had kinda ‘Introducing our bass player to things he’s never seen before’ vibes I guess especially for the galvan friend, who in the world of Whatudottu (and all the influences I have) headcanons is the stereotypically socially isolated intelligent species between them and cerebrocrustaceans lmao-
…hmm I wonder if I should add the names of Ben 10 aliens into my dictionary :P
Hehe, I’ll admit that while I have headcanons on the fly for galvans and cerebrocrustaceans to guess at how they’ll react interacting with a friend’s friend (ccs being more obvious and welcoming in the friend group, potentially galvans having jealousy issues or even just fascination someone can have more than one friend and ones with such differences), but I have no idea how tetramands and appoplexians would react lmao, at least not beyond your appoplexian friend being confounded by how nice your cerebrocrustacean friend is (potentially versus any bias they might’ve learnt) met with a mutual confusion when your cerebrocrustacean friend sees you and your appoplexian friend verbally and or physically roughhousing :P
#ask#anonymous#galvan#cerebrocrustacean#tetramand#appoplexian#ben 10#i’ll admit the galvan and tetramand tags are probably overkill but :p#maybe eventually i’ll think of some headcanons for the os duo as opposed to the af duo#which technically i’ve only extensively mentioned cerebrocrustaceans so it’s barely even appoplexian headcanons :P#re the bass player: it’ll be so much easier to carry someone along that isn’t your own height#but carrying a galvan is not something you can just do casually- even if it would be convenient to use longer legs as a vehicle to travel#one does not instigate carrying a galvan if you are not the galvan hitching a ride yourseld#it’s more a close friend situation if they let you carry them and even then a lot of them are particular to keeping their dignity#stereotypes of course maybe you run into an absolute jester of a galvan who’s down for making a fool of themselves#but like still- carrying anything living needs to be done carefully and that’s one of the smartest beings in the galaxy do. not. drop. them.#anyways- weren’t tetramands like apparently the best at making engines and other car accessories?#or at least have a pretty big mechanic community with the environment to specialise their vehicles?#it is khoros that holds an interplanetary car show and kevin did fight looma some odd years back for some car upgrades#if you can look fancy and drive fast on khoros where assuming the interplanetary capital sits (not to be confused for country capital cities#where just outside there’s literally like sand sharks under the ground where driving takes place? the make good cars for a reason#obviously not everyone’s a supergenius your galvan friend and your tetramand friend can be of any level of intelligence#same for your cerebrocrustacean friend and your appoplexian friend though they seem to differ in the emotional spectrum of sociology#from uber friendships to supplex friendships :P#appoplexians; so angry they constantly fight gravity :P or they snag an alliance with the lewodans thanks to ben tennyson#these tags are more rambly than usual lmao
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This was their very first meeting, btw.
Up until Egg every Jellyfish that Spyke ever approached ran away from him. This is mostly because he comes at them out of alleyways cloaked in shadow in the middle of the night and is very pointy. Egg however has the reaction time of a snail and has gotten very use to things just happening to him.
They are best friends.
#Emile's Arts#Besties Blogging#Spyke#'Likes to watch jellyfish at night from a distance' Autism. He wants to squish them but they keep running away from him#Spyke autistic stare has allured me. We are best buddies.#This is a very fun part of Jellysona lore to me#Childhood friends with Spyke <3#Jel La Fleur meets him and sees how casually he touches me and explodes with jealousy#Spyke is his ENEMY from then on out#And by that I mean he's constantly over playing and showing off in front of Spyke trying to out-man him#To which Spyke asks 'Is your boyfriend.. flirting with me...?' and I just shrug like. Maybe#He eventually gets over it as he gets older so by the time we're married he's way more normal around Spyke#but neither me nor Spyke ever understand what That was all about we just assume he was trying to hit on Spyke and move on
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Try as they may but they will not be anything close to Splatocalypse's resolution with Pearl demanding the cameras were on her so that Marina could cry peacefully
#the way Pearl shows affection is so sweet and underrepresented#she's so casual about it#it bothers me that so many people miss it and think she doesn't care#no!! she does!! she's shocked that Marina didn't think they would spend the holidays together and that she didn't know Pearl always included#her in Team Family#it recontextualized the best friend line: Marina isn't her best friend; she's more than that#like there's her best friend tier and a Marina tier above it#the Chaos/Order misunderstanding is another great example#Marina thought Pearl wanted to break up and abandon her whereas Pearl ALWAYS (again) included her because to her that's a GIVEN#she never EVER considers that Marina might not be a part of her plans or dreams or anything else#she made sure Marina wasn't filmed while she cried out of joy and relief and comforted her throughout#that's a beautiful dynamic and teeth rotting#maybe it depends on whether or not you can relate to them to see it#anyways back to the topic Splatoon 3 really tried to have that moment and failed#like you're not OTH gtfo you haven't earned this#Big Man didn't seem THAT bothered by their hatred and they didn't seem to still have a grudge#also it bothers me that they didn't pull a Pearl and say not to film him while telling him to cry it out#they're blunt and protective so how come they're okay with it? or maybe to them vulnerability shouldn't be hidden#text#ondina's text posts!#splatoon#splatoon 3#grand festival#deep cut#off the hook#splatoon 2
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I can’t believe the gayest shit happened to me and then I didn’t MF DO ANYTHING
#I can’t read the situation anymore y’all#plausible deniability you are my best friend and dearest enemy#I’m like okay yeah it’s not requited but then I think about it and it’s like 😭😭 bro how#and all of it I can write off except for this one fucking moment and even that I can write off because there was alcohol involved#but it STICKS IN MY HEAD#anyway even if there is something there I don’t want to ruin a good thing and also I know neither of us will make a move#idk. maybe I’m being very delusional about this#confirmation bias and all that#especially since for them all the stuff where I was like ???????? is casual ig#I went home after that and listened to casual by chappel roan and sulked#heehehehehe it’s kinda funny#but I have never been casual about anything in my life esp my body if I am touching you i am hyper aware of everything#godddddddddd. fuck being a lesbian fr (I wouldn’t give it up for anything)
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Started thinking about what happened AFTER Doleon decided to Do The Thing (mess with his shard of chaos way back.) Very rough explanation ahead because words aren’t wording too well but I HAVE TO SAY IT
Sure, tapping into a lot more of its energy (what was said to be a “dangerous amount” against guardian code) gave him the biggest adrenaline rush of his life, more power than he had ever had before, but he had to stop at some point.
And when he did it was awful. He didn’t know it was even possible to feel so sick, so tired, so empty all at the same time. When Kieran had come to find him, as he usually did around this time, Doleon was probably already knocked out cold.
Kieran thought he was dead.
Picked him up, rushed to find Tikal (someone had to be able to speak and explain…) and then his brothers. None of them knew what happened, but tried to wake him up.
Doleon didn’t tell them the truth of what he did, but even after all those terrible feelings at the end, he was still left wanting to do it again. What it would be like if he had that much power all the time…
#RAAAAHHGHHHSHDHDH#Kieran near breakdown that’s his brother that’s his best friend what would he do without him. Nothing would be the same.#You don’t even KNOW Kieran.#doleon attempting to play it off as nothing/casual. Maybe even derailing a little#he’s getting soooo much attention right now~#take my thoughts#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fandom#sth#oc universe au#sonic au#doleon doom#kieran#guardian bros#this MIIIIGHT be what happens to him without constant shard energy nowadays idkkkk do with that what you will
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🥴'
#so you know the way yesterdays ig update fucked up the 'send to' list when going to share a post w someone so now it's alphabetical#or smth like that instead of latest dmed with#well a few hours ago i was sent reel by someone who used to be my best friend but then we slowly lost touch#and like our last interaction was my birthday a couple of years ago when she sent me a birthday message and i replied and also asked if she#wanted to meet up for a coffee or smth and then she never replied#anyways now i have no idea what to do#like did she send it to me by mistake or did she actually mean to send it to me or did she mean to send it to me but with the#excuse of ig fucked up the send to list????#and i haven't opened the message bc then she'll see it but also the reel she sent might give a clue but also aaaaaaah#it'd be nice to maybe reconnect but if she didn't mean to send it to me at all it'll probably just be really awkward?? and i feel#like whatever i end up writing in response will be awkward??? even just a casual 'lmao ig messed up ur list too?' feels so awkward even#though it's a natural response?? and then what if she just doesn't respond at all to whatever i write..........#i hate that i find this so difficult<3
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.
#ok i said i was goin to bed but lmao a few things. or maybe just 1#me this year compared to last year? what an astronomical difference#i think i really.... came into my own. like thats the saying right#i think im at the best ive ever been. and like..... honestly i never thought id be able to make friends again but lmao i made so many at#school and like it took awhile#and like i also Know im Different n Confident bc not only am i into someone irl.... i legit like..... purposefully got to know him#like usually i stay the fuck away. but like idk a switch happened. and im like ok but why NOT me???? like im cute.... im fun... all that#like !!!!! idk !!!! why not?????#so ya........... JDJDJDJDJJD maybe this doesnt seem like much but to me its a Huge Deal JDJDJJDMDMDMDMS#n i hope the trend continues this way !!!!#like heck i even talk so casually to the profs. like lmao who am i JDJDJDJDJDJD#i am worried tho.... that when i transition back to working in jan (lmao lets be real... probs wont get a job til after then).... that i'll#go back to being Closed Off#its just really hard for me to open up.... but idk i think this year has taught me that like..... it's worth it....#and ya.... hoping i can continue this !!!!!#personal
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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recent arcs blushy-yuki is great but this yuki also <333
#its probably a difference in distance#this yuki is more casual bc they havent expressed their feelings yet but also theyve got so much time for everything#its ok to take it slow and enjoy it just. normally#but current arcs with the ldr is very pressed for time and making the most of it and being hyperaware of it?#both are good! the tension is great. i just like when they have more casual interactions and also when shirayuki is more forward#... i know its not the same but as a maybe aro person with a best friend i place over most everyone else. kinda like how dating works#who i havent seen in ages and joke about being in an ldr with. zenyuki making things work no matter what is so important to me#and so im projecting the more casual interactions on that#they really peak when obi is with them tbh#like obiyuki and obizen separately have that more mature comfortably intimate feel#which spills over into obizenyuki#hm. anyway#chapter 3#red memoirs#zenyuki
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