#cas did all of it for dean
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Everytime I’m reminded that Cas was the only one in all universes with a crack in his chassis, that Dean wanted him to stay, that Cas did it, all of it for Dean, that Dean wanted to die because Cas was dead, really dead after Lucifer stabbed him, that Cas told Dean “I love you” twice and that Dean told Cas he needed him twice in such a vulnerable way, I just want to scream my lungs out.
#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#cas has a crack in his chassis#dean wants cas to stay#cas did all of it for dean#dean needs cas#cas loves dean#dean loves cas#destiel is canon#the greatest love story ever told#i want to eat glass#but i'm fine#this is all fine#i'm normal about them#totally normal#my random thoughts about destiel
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Obsessed with the sudden shift in Cas' willingness to say insane romantic shit to dean in season 8. A couple of seasons ago, he would tell dean that they had a profound bond to his face. That everything he did, he did for Dean. Now? He's hesitating. He clenches his fists to avoid hugging Dean back in purgatory. He stutters and looks away before saying he stayed away from Dean to protect him. When asked what broke through heaven's brainwashing, he looks away and says he doesn't know. It's so interesting to me
#i think its a two hit combo#first of all Cas is dealing with immense guilt#over what he did to the angels AND what he did to dean#but also. i think season 8 is when cas starts to get Suspicious of his own feelings#he doesnt know hes in love. not yet#but he knows somethings wrong in that the strength of his emotions regarding dean arent just smth he can attribute to “a more profound bond#anymore#he can avoid thinking about it all he wants. but what he feels towards dean was able to get thru heavens brainwashing#and i think it scares him#spn#destiel#supernatural#castiel#dean winchester#cat spirals tag
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Me when I remember that Dean was supposed to gently and lovingly touch Cas’ face in Tombstone:
#they deleted that and deleted the dialogue about Dean being the one and only one to spread Cas’ ashes#in the meadow by the windmill cus he thought Cas would love it. and he did.#they deleted all that.#supernatural#spn#spn deleted scenes#spn 13x06#tombstone#destiel#deancas#casdean#dean winchester#castiel#dean x castiel#reiotalks
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And in that moment, he knew he was never beating the 💖💜💙 allegations
#spn fanart#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#destiel fanart#spn art#spnfanart#wiggleart#just something silly this morning I had the idea last night#and I swear in this moment he realized he did want Cas all up in his a—
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Cas knew Dean would keep the colt under his pillow. Sam didn't.
#dean was always bi#destiel#original content#spn#deancas#it's not that dean and cas fucked this time. it's that cas knew Dean in a way that sam didn't.#because sam didn't#it's about all the times they did
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I do think it'd been hilarious to have a truth-serumed or spelled Dean around Cas, just start spilling his guts and flirting worse. But also genuinely think Cas would get so overwhelmed from going zero to eighty on this that he'd duct tape Dean's mouth shut after attempts to tell him to stop confessing romantic feelings kept failing. Final resort, Cas would whoosh away to some glacier and sit there until he'd collected himself.
#he'd get back and Dean would firmly be “haha what was that all about I'm cured now” and Cas would breathe a massive sigh of relief and#neither of them would say anything more and the rest of the extended TFW family who has been altogether way too involved in this crash and#actively burning romance would boo them#Claire would throw tomatoes and quote Dean's flirty one liners while gagging#Sam would be all: “But Dean you did that that. All of that.”#supernatural#personal#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#spn#fanfiction#fandom#destiel headcanon
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hey, jude, don't make it bad. take a sad song and make it better
(the spn in which mary left the hunting life behind and raised dean on her own on their own little ranch)
#i did one like this already#but my feverish brain decided to share it on my other blog#so here is another one#the story is about queer mary and queer dean and their lives after getting out#yes cas appears and one point and mary gets all butch and falls in love with a woman <3#moodboard#spn#supernatural#spn au#cowboy au#dean winchester#mary winchester#cowboynatural
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source 1 source 2 as of June 27, 2023
update: the smoke has mostly moved east to the new england region and has been in Ontario, Quebec, and areas close to there for months.
#air quality#i thought i would see posts about it like i did for the new york stuff but i guess not#made this because i checked and it's over 200 at my house rn#wildfire smoke#wildfires#maybe we should start recirculating those 'how to stay safe with the smoke' posts in case ppl forgot#poor cas... he's been trying to confess for years but all he's getting from dean is BREAKING NEWS#anyways this isn't breaking news it's been a full day#supernatural#destiel
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&& the way neither of them are bitter when they talk abt sam going to stanford with others, its more so, can you believe it? sam went to stanford. he did that! but in front of sam both john & dean viewing (& letting sam know!) that it was one of the worst things sam has ever done
#thinking about young sam 17 or freshly turned 18 year old getting that mail having nobody to share how excited he was with#he got a full ride he did that all by himself he didn't need anybodys help#later szn sam thinking it was okay how lonely he felt. seeing claire and telling cas that he needs to be there for her#while not applying that same logic to what happened to him#winchester family#sam & john#sam & dean#spn 12x02#spn 1x04#spn
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okay but dean doesn’t believe in anything and also doesn’t believe in no one. all the faith he has in people are conditional, specially because he is the one that people puts their faith on, so it’s only one sided. like even sam, whom he loves and trusts so much, still doesn’t have his faith—bc he is the one that “endures” the faith, he’s the one that has the responsibilities, therefore, he can’t actually count on sam yk (btw i’m not saying this is true, dean Could count on sam, but this is how his mind works, he doesn’t think it’s okay for him to actually count on sam since he’s the one that Needs to be the responsible one, he’s the one that sam is counting On).
for dean, it’s only a -> b, not a -> b AND b -> a. the only person he actually had faith in was john, but he died. and eventually even he realized that that faith was misplaced and came (more) from a place of duty than from a genuine one. so we have this character who doesn’t believe in God, doesn’t believe in good things, doesn’t believe that good things could happen to him and that thinks everything is conditional, that people’s loves for him are conditional, mostly based on how useful he is, and that he will be okay as long as he continues this job and responsibility. he literally has the burden of the world on his shoulders and since he was a kid he was the only one that he could count on, the only one that could actually solve things.
And then enters castiel. A faithful Angel. An angel that rebels—for Dean. and that was devoted to dean in such a pure and unconditional way that actually makes him a little bit insane. cas is the only person besides himself that dean could really count on, that dean really puts his faith on. even john, as I said, he did it bc of something like a debt or bc that was what he always knew to be true. but with cas, it was the opposite. he never believed in angels; never even liked them. he was raised to never really trust anyone, let alone a supernatural being. but yet he trusts castiel, so much that it goes against his own basic instincts (to when both bobby and sam thought cas was betraying them and dean was trying so hard to not believe in that—i mean, not cas, he wouldn’t).
crazy that he was the number one faithless boy. he didn’t believed in God, but he did believe in castiel. he prayed to him. every night. he trusted him. so much that he never thought he would betray them. dean, who was raised to never trust anyone and hate all supernatural stuff, believed in an angel so much that it actually contradicted everything he was. he didn’t believe in God. but oh, he believed in castiel. to a point so powerful that it was literally his religion. like both of them were so devoted to each other they changed the narrative, they were the only real thing in chuck’s universes, they pretty much invented free will. Crazy. Insane actually.
#i’m crazy about them#love him to the point it changes the narrative course#worship this love#even if it’s a false god#when the faithless man has the type of love that is so devoted is basically a religion#i prayed to you cas every night#destiel#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#deancas#castiel#the faithless man prayed every night#something so insane about dean not believing in god but putting all his trusts in the lord’s angels castiel#and even more crazy that castiel rebelled and did it all for dean#they both were so devoted to each other#i choose you and me religiously#no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin#what’s real? we are#they invented free will bc of their love for each other
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It cracks Dean open not only to see Cas, finally, but to instantly recognize such a familiar gaze on his otherworldly face. This is Cas. This is Cas. - Castiel's self portrait from The Beholder (on tumblr & ao3)
Peek under the cut for some jellyfish I referred to as inspiration, along with an earlier concept of the art :)
For a long time I've headcanoned angelic trueforms as looking a little like giant cosmic jellyfish. I've tried several times to draw jellyfish!trueform!Cas and it's never quite worked, but when I received a fic prompt consisting of these emojis:
🪼👀🎨
The need to try again was unavoidable.
I'm still not 100% happy with this version, but it's definitely getting closer to the vision!
These are the jellyfish pictures I used in particular while coming up with the concept for Cas' trueform in this ficlet. I tried blending aspects of these with aspects of what are commonly referred to these days as "biblically accurate angels" -- mostly thrones, which yeah, I know, Cas is a seraph, but in the words of Ron Swanson... I can do what I want.
This was just an earlier concept of Cas' self portrait. I still like the halo, but ultimately didn't end up liking it on the newer version.
Below is an earlier draft of the concept I eventually used, before I'd changed some colors and added more layers of wings/eyes/feathers etc. My hand slipped when I had a thick brush selected and accidentally drew him slurping Dean with a mildly horrifying prehensile tongue 😅
#the deancas of it all#cass draws things#castiel art#destiel art#fandom: supernatural#why did cas include dean in his self portrait?#first of all dean is a part of him so jot that down#why did he make dean naked?#because his husband is a babe what's not clicking#:P
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Uh Supernatural amiright
#yeah yeah we all know cas is lamp#but fr tho why did they do that#I Need answers i Need them to explain in detail what that meant#I need to ask Jensen ackles what he thought he was doing#EXPLAIN YOURSELF#fanart#supernatural#spn#supernatural fanart#castiel#spn fanart#dean winchester#castiel fanart#destiel#dean winchester fanart#deancas#deancas fanart#destiel fanart#dean x castiel
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Monthly Pity Party (Supernatural One-Shot)
Team Free Will x AFAB!GN!Reader / requests are open
Summary: Your cramps are kicking your ass this month, though you do wish the boys would quit throwing pity parties for you.
Fic type: period comfort
SPN: @wereallbrokenangels (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"I think I might actually die, like, for real," you groaned, rubbing at your forehead irritably. "I mean- if we ever do find the bastard, I'd like to ask why he or she or they said 'fuck you in particular' to people with vaginas and uteri and all that bullshit."
"Yes, it's not something I was able to fully understand from his plans," Castiel replied, seeming to only be half listening. Your hand shot to your lower belly, breath sucking sharply between your teeth. "Though it does serve a purpose... if... that may provide some comfort to you."
"You know," you groaned, resisting the urge to curl yourself into a ball and pass away on the spot. "It really doesn't, Cas."
Sam stood from his favourite spot at the table, picked your socked feet off the end of the lounge and sat down again while pulling them into his lap. You gave the gentle giant a soft yet strained smile and he squeezed your left foot to show he was listening.
"Dean will be back soon," he said by way of comfort. You were also pretty sure it was a diversion to nip your conversation with Castiel in the bud before it got too heated or too existential. You had a habit of doing that during your time of the month.
Speaking of- the sound of the bunker door closing heralded the arrival of beers for the boys and treats for you. Special treats that you only really reserved for that horrendous week once a month where you weren't able to hunt half the things on your to-get list, or even sometimes able to stay awake for longer than three hours.
"All right," came Dean's voice from around the corner. "Party time. I've got the goods. Beer, pie, skittles, and... all the other crap you asked for." He placed the two bags of groceries and goodies onto the coffee table before gesturing for you to move so he could settle down on the couch with you.
You made space for him and then he patted his lap for you to lay back down again. You settled your head down in his lap as he used his arm to screw the lid of his beer off and chucked the metal disc onto the table.
"Oh Cas, I forgot to heat the thing up," Dean mumbled, giving you an apologetic squeeze on the shoulder before pointing to your homemade wheat bag. "Be a good Angel and do the thing?"
Castiel picked up the wheat bag and disappeared into the kitchen. Hopefully after his stint as a human, he'd know how to use the microwave to heat it up properly. Honestly though, if your skin was able to withstand it, you'd love the direct heat of the sun over your cramps.
Dean leaned forward, grabbed one more beer from the table and passed it to his brother who thanked him quietly. Then he passed you the bag of skittles and watched you rip the thing open and shove a handful into your mouth with a moan of relief that bordered on pornographic.
"I don't know how you eat those," Dean said sceptically. You chewed on the lollies a few more times before swallowing.
"They taste good," you replied as if that was a good enough answer to it all. "And shut up, I've seen some of the stuff you've shoved down your gullet."
"Shut up, Sam-" Dean quipped as Sam snorted out a laugh at your signature bantering. "But fair point."
You let out another hiss as your cramp amped it up once again. Your voice evened out into a rather pained and elongated word not fit for young ears and Dean's brows furrowed in concern.
"Dean, you get like this every month. It's just a few days of discomfort- and if Cas wasn't so wiped right now, he'd make it all go away for me. It's nothing I can't handle. Promise."
Dean took a moody sip of his beer and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, well, I don't have to like it, all right?"
You were saved from having to put too much thought into your response as Cas reappeared from the kitchen, wheat bag in hand. He handed it to you and you placed it over your abdomen. Instantly the heat began soaking through your skin to ease the ache beneath.
"I'm sorry I can't heal you in my current state," Castiel apologised before sitting down stiffly in the single-seater armchair. You sighed, chowing down on a couple more lollies.
"Look guys," you said, pulling your head and feet out of the Winchesters' laps and sitting up. You pressed the heat pack against your abdomen and leaned back against the couch. "I know you all mean well, but it's just a period. You don't have to pity me. I'll be all right after some Advil and some comfort food. A snuggle or two wouldn't hurt either. But I'm not going to have any more of these pitiful apologies and concerned looks."
The three of them looked at each other and then back at you again. Dean and Sam both took a swig and nodded respectfully.
"Sure thing," Sam replied with one of those blink-and-you-miss-it acknowledging smiles.
"Uh-huh," was Dean's answering reply. You knew what that meant. He'd humour you for a day or two and be right back at his usual schtick. But that was fine. You kinda liked it when he was just a little worried over you.
"Right then," you said decisively, giving Castiel a very pointed look. "I'm going to lay back down and we're all going to watch a movie. I am going to grumble about my cramps and we're all going to have a great time, yes? Good."
"Yes dear," Dean reached for the remote for the television. "Now- Cas, I know better than to ask our menstruating friend here what we're gonna watch so- your pick."
#team free will#team free will x reader#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester x reader#castiel x reader#dean x cas x sam x reader#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fanfiction#spn fic#spn fanfic#spn fanfiction#spn x reader#supernatural x reader#im on my period and it sucks for real#i did my best here sorry all#spn one shot#supernatural one shot
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Destiel Pride - Day 19; Kiss me once, kiss me twice
#destiel pride#destiel#dean Winchester#castiel#destiel art#Destiel fanart#spnfanart#wiggleart#I didn’t know what to draw but the words sounded familiar then I looked it up and it’s that song we#all likely heard once or twice at least in instrumental form haha#I did the dip at the end bc it reminded me of old Hollywood movies#and I liked the idea of their first kiss being reserved their second one after a moment to process the first one would be more intense#and then so on and so forth#Also the lyrics to this song make me want to eat drywall#when it comes to dean and cas lmao
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it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.
#castiel spn#spn#this is not like a Castiel Crime (tm) to be clear. this is more me being (un)surprised that the show is Like This.#castiel is a horror story he is so much a horror story in the rapture#and then they just uh. never bring up again how horrifying and fucked up this is for another like 7 seasons#and when they do its to briefly go :( claire lost her dad :) but its okay! she forgives cas for it!#which!! NO SHE SHOULD FUCKING NOT!!!#but we can't have that discussion. we can't talk about that. because to acknowledge that it's fucked up would mean making cas kind of. evil#in a way that would vastly improve his later character arcs btw. if we had to reckon with not only this massive transgression#but with the fact that cas himself STILL DOESN'T SEE IT AS ONE.#that on a lot of fundamental levels. he is still functioning as he did in s4. a lot of that base programming is still there.#something something how cas never changes out of his suit under his trenchcoat#but it's like. jimmy said yes. so it's fine. that's what it is to him.#anyway. i wish they hadn't been scared of making all three of the boys more fucked up in later seasons.#thank GOD for dean being interesting in how he becomes Worse <3 because they were not bringing that for castiel.#again. good version of spn where jimmy's bloodline is an off-shoot of the lucifer vessel bloodline. explaining a) how lucifer Got In There#and b) letting lucifer possess claire later so that the two of them can have daddy issues together.#something about cas being the monster-not monster that jimmy let in that destroyed his life.#something about lucifer being the monster-not monster that castiel lets in later. the cycles. they are cycling.
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The tragedy of season 6 Castiel
Season 6 Castiel just breaks my freaking heart.
If I had to chose two dialogues to sum up his whole situation it wouldn't be the popular ones like 'where were you when I needed to hear it" or even "Dean, it's not broken!"
Nothing explains what he's going through more than when he kills the angel attacking him for Raphael in 6x03
"why wont any of you listen"
after he begged him to not fight because he didn't want to kill another one of his brothers
or when he told Sam and Dean at the end of 6x15
"When will I be able to make you understand?"
He's stuck between rock and a hard place and yes, he's not talking because, hey, he learned free will from the Winchesters and they are not the ideal human beings. He thinks he has to do this by himself because he doesn't want to burden Sam and Dean (who does that sound like, I wonder?) but at the same time, its also true that for the entire first half of the season Dean was so completely busy with Sam and his soul problem that he didn't really make Cas feel like he could come to him with his problem.
Cas doesn't want to kill any more angels but they wont stop trying to bring about the apocalypse which will hurt his humans and Cas can't have that.
Cas doesn't want to hurt sam or ignore dean but dean is being a selfish prick who only cares about his problem (admittedly, its a big problem and we all know how irrational dean gets when Sam is in trouble) but it all makes Cas realize he can't rely on Winchesters.
Its an impossible situation. It's classic miscommunication trope done brilliantly with two dumbasses who are simply unable to use their words.
Not to mention how prickly Sam and Dean are being. They snap at him all the time, refuse to listen to anything over what they believe to be right and Raphael just keeps trying to kill him any chance he gets. No wonder the poor angel looks TIRED the whole season.
And the cherry on top he's feels betrayed (they mean well, but he's not in the mindset to see that) by all his friends and that just breaks him. I think every thing Sam, Dean and Balthazar did to try to stop him from going after the purgatory souls only made him feel like he needed to do it all the more. And isn't that ironic.
Cas made some questionable choices, there's no denying that, but lets not forget that is simply Supernatural every single season. Only the questionable choices before were made by Sam or Dean or even John.
I think season 6 did nothing but solidify Cas another one of the pigheaded, dumbass, on his way to hell paved with the best of intentions. Season 6 didn't just make Cas more human, it proved he was a true Winchester!
#he did all that all the while looking like a miserable little baby angel in a trenchcoat#hes so sad and tired and just wants his friends back#i hate sam for not hugging him when he got his sould back#cas needed a hug#He deserved that hug#someone just give the angel a hug dammit#castiel#sam winchester#dean winchester#destiel#Spn 6x03#Spn 6x15#spn 6x20#supernatural#spn#misha collins#deancas
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