#cas + the nature of souls
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shallowstories ¡ 2 years ago
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I'm just not a Cosmopolitan gal
For some reason, Dean feels even more insulted. So, he lobs the first thing he can think of, “Well. Dad had a soul, and he did more fucked up things than Cas has ever thought about doing.” It might’ve well have been an uncapped grenade. She reels from the force of it—shatters somewhere deep behind her blue, blue eyes. Of course, Dean regrets it immediately. It’s the lowest blow. Straight for the jugular. Blood and guts. Dean has no idea why he’s bringing up Dad, but his instinct in response to all that is to rip on Mary’s choice of- of family.  Tit-for-tat. Or something.
I'm just not a Cosmpolitan gal by @shallowseeker
Synopsis: After the brutal slaughter of the Apocalypse World hunters, Dean's doing everything he can to maintain a sense of normalcy around the bunker. Mary shows up to help. There's grocery shopping, mother-son passive-aggressiveness, and a pansy-ass Cosmopolitan magazine that Dean definitely isn't going to take relationship advice from.
(Status: Complete)
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angel-fruitcake ¡ 3 months ago
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listen i love the timeless trope of bottom!dean is bad with words and emotions so top!cas waxes poetic to and about dean while making sweet, tender love to him as much as the next guy.
like i totally get it, i do. that dynamic fits them the best and is arguably the truest to their personalities and relationship with each other......
but hear me out:
there's something so intensely romantic and hot about the concept of an angel of the lord overwhelmed, trembling and whimpering at the hands of the righteous man. need to see that ancient celestial creature strung out, desperate, whining, yearning, pathetically whipped and weak with how deeply and completely in love he is. i want castiel--the mighty seraph with power far beyond human comprehension--absolutely wrecked as dean winchester slowly and lovingly takes him apart mind, body, and soul.
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keen-eye ¡ 17 days ago
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it's s16/some sort of continuation but it's only purpose is because the writers realized that they turned dean into an abusive psychopath (good) but didn't narratively condemn his actions enough (bad) so to redeem him they decide last minute to reveal that he's actually been soulless since he was rescued from hell in s4 because castiel is just clumsy and his hands are really sweaty. whoopsie, it slipped through!
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darkstaria ¡ 7 months ago
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Yandere Batfam - Soulmate Soul Animal AU.
Chapter 1:
----
Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.
Dark pupils watched from the ceiling, their gaze affixed upon you. You sighed, deciding to ignore its presence.
An aggravated chitter interrupted you. Pausing, you watched as a little green bird jumped out of the bat’s shadow. It paced towards you, making a small leap to land on your outstretched finger. You smiled, extending your hand to pet the top of its head. The bird took a moment to consider the moment, head tilting with its beak outstretched as if it intended to bite you. It seemed to decide on sparing your finger, allowing you to give the bird some pets on the head.
However, it was time to resume your work. You turned back to your computer, a dismissal. The bird didn't like that. A quick flash, and the bird tittered about on your keyboard, messing up your setup.
“Robin!” You snap, reaching out as if to push the bird away.
You sighed. You disliked calling the bird Robin. It was the correct species, despite the bird being green, so it made sense to use the name. But.. you hated the connection it created between your soul bonded animals and the vigilantes of the city. Unfortunately, the bird didn't answer to any other name. You've tried.
The other robins were so much more agreeable than this newer one. Well, not that you could even call those three robin anymore. The newer robin was very possessive of the name, and you'd rather not have to search your room for more stray feathers that flew off in their next fight. Your soul animals were such a pain.
The flutter of wings distracts you from your musings. You look up, finding the very bat you had been so cautiously avoiding earlier descend onto your desk. The bat chirped a little, with the robin occasionally replying back with chirps of its own. They were having their own conversation.
You decided you were owed a break already, so you gave up on your dreams of getting work done in lieu of watching the ongoing conversation. It was rare for soul animals to talk. They didn't need to. Due to the nature of a soul bond, soul animals act on the innermost feelings of the soul they represent. The bond connects souls, so soul animals, which are a manifestation of the bond, are already intune with their soulmates.
The only instance in which soul animals did tend to talk, was if the soulmates themselves were talking.
Robin chittured with a snap, the bat in return giving a controlled chirr.
Oooh. You thought to yourself. This sounds like an argument. You wondered what it was about. Maybe Robin pecked one too many victims, or caused a mess again.
Ah. You were thinking of your bonded as just animals again. To be fair, it was fairly easy. The only things you knew of your soulmates were because of how the animals acted. Anything else, and you were in the dark. That's how you wanted to think, anyway.
Maybe while they were distracted… You scoot back a little in your chair, until you figure you’re out of their line of sight. You make for the door, tipping out of your seat as quietly as you can. You're almost out the door when a weight settles itself on your head.
You sigh.
“Robin. Get off me, please.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the presence doesn't budge. Obliging, you reach up to your head, feeling the bird’s little feet jump onto your hand. Bringing Robin to eye level, you stare at it, unimpressed.
A nearby bat of wings draws you out of your faceoff. Guess sneaking out on your own was too much to ask for, as always.
“Ughhh.” You whine. Your soulmates were going to push you into complete isolation at this rate.
“Fine. You two already know the drill.”
You point at the Bat. “You can never follow me, I mean it. A bat is way too ominous of a soul animal to be flying around. It's just asking for trouble.”
The Bat remains silent, watching. Always, watching. You really hated it sometimes.
In all honesty, a robin wasn't too great of a soul animal to have with you in Gotham either. But your robins came in odd colours, so people didn't always clock that the bird was actually a robin. Sometimes you said that your soul animal was a greenfinch or a swallow. It tended to work, as long as no one looked twice.
A bat was much harder to hide.
“So..”. You give up, gesturing to your bag. “Just get in already, I'll make the trip quick.” You always had to make any outings short with this particular robin. If you spent too long with someone it got snippy. Very, snippy.
The other three robins tended to be a bit more accommodating. Well, not by much.
Robin glides into your bag, a movement of precision and grace. Not for the first time, you wonder what your bonded was like in person.
Deciding to dismiss the thought, you unlatch your door, heading out.
Just another day, with your soulmates.
~ ~ ~ ~
Your parents told you about your birth. You were born to a bat watching your window. It wasn't such a red flag, at first. The maternity ward was flush with newborn babes, so your parents figured that the bat was bound to another child. It was what they had hoped for, anyway.
Plenty of children weren't born with soulbonds. It wasn't a concern. They could be the elder of a bond. Or, they could have a delayed bond. They weren't concerned.
But… then it followed you home. Your parents settled you down, snug in your crib. When they next came to check up upon you, it was there. Perched upon the crib, watching you. When they next blinked, it was gone.
The very next day, your parents awoke to the Bat watching you again. But this time, a smaller bird was snuggled to your sleeping face. It clung to you all day, refusing to disappear when they appeared like the Bat did. It was… very mouthy.
They had assumed this to be a good development, everyone knew The Night worked alone. They were happy.
They were happy, even when another robin appeared the subsequent day. A scruffy one, snappy. Its feathers were still growing out. Young.
Perhaps they should have expected then, that the dawn the next new day would bring another little bird to your crib. The youngest one, a nestling still developing pin feathers. Despite its age, it held a keen gaze at them.
There weren't any more animals that appeared after that. So they hid any evidence of the Bat, and instead allowed you to grow up freely with your three birds.
The Bat was evidently the oldest in your soulbond. It was protective, almost parental, in its movements. It had a sixth sense for when you were in any danger, always emerging from the shadows with perfect timing. If a bat wasn't such a symbolic image in Gotham, you'd probably be more appreciative of its efforts.
The eldest bird was silly, performing aerial tricks and jumps that always brightened your day. It was keen, focusing on you whenever you felt down. It had the uncanny ability to appear whenever you were under the weather. When you said the word robin, it snapped to attention.
You decided to call it Robin.
The second bird was protective. It wasn't as loud as the eldest, but there was a spark of kindness in its gaze. Originally the bird was a lot rougher, but it started to calm down a few years in. Became stable. It always seemed to find you when you got stuck on homework, or landed on your shoulder whenever you flipped through a book.
The third bird was small. You assumed it was only a year or two older than you, due to how the bird’s feathers grew in. It wasn't as affectionate as the other two. Solitary, it often lingered in the shade. It watched you. It watched your other soul animals too, when they appeared. It seemed a little tired. It took you a bit, but eventually you realised it was lonely. After that, you always had a comforting word.
That is… until the Batman gained a partner. A boy decked out in green and yellow, the same feathers on your eldest bird. The vigilante called itself Robin.
As the duo gained notoriety, you were hidden more and more. There was danger in soulbonds, and nothing was more dangerous than vigilantes.
Robin became Nightwing. Your eldest bird grew in blue feathers. The bird stopped responding to its name. A new boy became Robin. You spotted green and yellow feathers growing in on your second bird. It started answering to Robin.
You knew who your soulmates were. After that, it was no secret. Not to you, not to your parents.
Your parents weren't happy anymore. But you were safe. They could be content with that. They considered reaching out. The evidence was obvious, they knew it, and you knew it. Maybe you could be even safer, if the Batman knew where you were.
And then you watched your Robin die.
The little bird had been stuck to you recently, seeming to be in an argument with the Bat. When in conflict, soul animals gravitated to those they weren't in disparity with, and this was nothing unfamiliar to you.
You had been stroking the little bird, as it rested on your lap. But then it jumped. It started shaking. It started crying. Bleeding.
You panicked. You tried to comfort it, to whisper caring words, to give a reassuring touch. You were young, you didn't know what to do. There was nothing you could do.
When a soulmate dies, the soul animal dies too.
The little Robin died, crying in your lap.
You had never looked at vigilantes the same way again.
There was no point in denial, not after that. Your bat became the Bat, the eldest robin named Wing. A few days later, your youngest soul animal developed new feathers. Green… and red. You didn't have a name for the bird, but you suspected you would soon.
You took a week off school.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Please be quiet, this time.” You muttered down to the green bird resting in your bag. It started at you with a condescending gaze. Ugh. Younger soulmates.
You'd sigh, but you've been doing that far too much lately as is.
Time to get this over with.
You enter the supermarket, one of your very few weekly outings. You start perusing the shelves, picking out what was in your list. As you're walking though, you hear a frustrated bark. You peak out from the shelves, spotting a lone woman tugging a leashed dog along.
Ah. You knew what this was. Everyone did. The other shoppers in the store paused too, staring at what was going on.
It was a rejected bond. When feelings between single soulbonded individuals become too bitter, the soul animal dissipates. Well, it was supposed to, and then reappear when feelings improve. But if the animal was constrained in some manner, then the animal can't disappear and is forced to remain in a physical form.
Judging from the leash on the dog’s neck, this was that same scenario. It was rather bold of the woman to bring the soul animal out in public if it was rejecting her like this. Almost brave.
Gothamites rarely helped each other, but things became a little sensitive with soul animals. You wouldn't be too surprised if there wasn't at least one attempt to free the dog today. It certainly caught attention. It could even catch.. vigilante attention.
You frowned. It was a shame to cut one of your few outings short. Sometimes there was no alternative though. You certainly wouldn't be sticking around.
You jumped at the sound of a shriek, eyes darting down to your bag where Robin rested. Robin glared venomously at your shoulder, and you glanced at it.
Your shoulder where… Ah. That would do it. Your shoulder where Red rested. Your third robin. You felt like crying. Why, why this pair?
You didn't even feel the bird as it appeared. Was that a testament to Red's stealth or your lacking observational skills?
Robin glared daggers at Red, practically hissing. You didn't even know birds could hiss. Red paid him no mind, instead looking very settled on your shoulder. The bird even snuggled your face a little. What a smug guy.
Another bark caught your attention. You glanced forward, remembering the scene. Your soul animal’s squabbling would draw too much attention. If any of the vigilantes were watching, you'd be in trouble. One robin soul animal was potentially excusable. But two? That would get you caught.
You tried to shush the two, a small signal for them to knock it off. Naturally, because it was these two, they ignored you. You groaned. This was far too public.
You grabbed Red, snatching him off your shoulder as gently as you could. Placing him gently into your shoulder bag, you tried your best to pretend the resulting screech from Robin wasn’t noticeable. The flap of your bag was closed, so no one could spot them… They could certainly hear if they came close enough though.
Time to leave. You paid for what you picked up and dashed out. The sight of rejected soulmates was generally considered disturbing, so anyone watching could just attribute your rush to that.
Were you paranoid?
Mayhaps a little.
You've justified it by the fact that you're probably soulmates with Batman and 4 robins, so paranoia is practically a requirement for your soul.
____
Hello ^ ^ welcome to my soulmate au! I do hope you enjoyed.
If you have any questions about the au, please feel free to reach out :D
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yandere-wishes ¡ 6 months ago
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⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。Acolyte⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
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𐙚Yandere! Qimir/The Master x Reader
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Plot: Your loneliness is suffocating, engulfing. Qimir is the only one who seems to subdue the pain. But every forbidden fruit has its price.
⁀➷Warnings: Yandere behavior, gore, angst (at the end), author having an anxiety attack over this fic  
🪐Note: Why is the longest thing I've ever written for a fandom that barely exists? Anyway, here's the long-awaited Qimir piece!
⁺₊𝄞₊⁺ : Disturbia - Rihanna, Dark Vacay & Motion Picture Soundtrack - CAS
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⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🍓⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Your master's anger is tangible. You harbour it stubbornly on your tongue. Relishing in the frustration. You aren't sure how many times you've cut out your soul to place at a master's feet. Gnawing on perfect lips to keep quiet during another scolding. Your new master's disappointment reverberates through the room. Thick and oozing like an infected wound.
You messed up again.
"We do not injure other padawans during training. We do not lash out and attack, especially when your training partner has fallen. How have you trained for so long without comprehending these basics?"
The rage that boils inside you is not Jedi in nature. It's something else, a bizarre second, something ancient, ghoulish. An all-consuming fire that burns inside your veins. It shouldn't feel so welcoming, so familiar.
You roll your eyes.
"With all due respect master. How is one to win, if they do not strick when given the opportunity? That too should be a basic notion, no?"
You see the anger snake across your master's face. A defeated, disgruntled, glance that you've become a bit too acquainted with. This is the look that all your previous masters give you. And yet none have yet to master its eeriness quite as well as your first master. Master Sol.
Your master sighs, a piercing noise, deflating every ounce of his willpower. You are exhausting to be around, his annoyance is becoming discernible. "Master Sol is coming by the temple to check your...progress. He's requested a few items to take back with him. Please go fetch them from the apothecary."
Progress is a gentle word and Jedi love using gentle words. It's easier to say than the full truth. Sugar-coated things always taste better.
But the sugar refuses to stick to you.
It burns away in your bitterness.
Coruscant is a distant memory, it was never your home to begin with. But the high bustling volume is something that is hard to forget. Here things are quiet, you slip through the bazaar undetected. Small basket clutched tightly. You wonder what's dragging your former master halfway across the galaxy. You wonder if it's really just to see you.
You gaze blankly at the holographic list. A few rare herbs and some medical roots. This planet grows them in abundance, and the local apothecary carries more than its fair share.
The apothecary is an old, disheveled thing. The older Jedi say that its presence is as old as the temple itself. Odd how some things have a will of iron. You gently rap at the worn metal door, waiting for an invitation to enter. The hinges cry as the door opens ever so slightly. You squeeze in, surveying the cluttered den. Careful to avoid the half-empty bottles and neon puddles scattered across the floor.
"Excuse me" your voice holds an urgent annoyance. Where is the pharmacist? What kind of store owner abandons their shop in the midday? You run your fingers across the strange bottles, letting your nails pick at the murky glass. The colors flash, begging to be freed, strange space pinks, and summer oranges all trapped inside square prisons. Baby poisons dying to taste the world, burning it if they must, but experiencing it nonetheless, tasting their own form of freedom. Funny, they almost remind you of yourself.
Trapped and fatal.
"Hello?", the voice behind you is languid, dozy. Mirroring a late afternoon nap. When the man next speaks you notice a lyrical lint "What brings you here little lady?". You turn to see it, the voice, or rather the man harboring the voice. He's loosely robed and shaggy in the way that only the most spirited vagabonds are. He smiles tenderly upon seeing your face, strange red fruit caught between his teeth. "I um...I" you click your tongue anxiously against the roof of your mouth. Feeling around for those pesky words, in the end, you just shove the hologram holder forward, hoping he'll understand.
"Oh, I see, out here doing some chores?" You nod, mind preoccupied with the otherwordly fruit. "what's that?" you ask, schoolgirl curiosity lacing your voice. "What, this?" he asks holding the freckled thing between his fingers, it's only in the mild light that you notice the shimmering gold scattered across its red skin. The stranger laughs, walking closer, he places the hologram base on the black table, clicking it on as he studies the list. "They're called strawberries. They're from the forest planets, not many grow here in the mid-rims." He's nimble as he packs the herbs and roots, fumbling with the straw ties. "care for a bite" he asks, handing you the bitten fruit.
Hesitantly you bite.
Letting the sweetness erupt on your tongue.
"Thank you" you mumble trying not to moan at the foreign taste. The stranger laughs, it's a cheery noise like birds chirping in first bloom tress. "you're a Jedi, aren't you?" he asks stepping around the table, eyebrows furrowed, caught in a dream he doesn't seem to understand. You choke on the rogue static as he steps closer, eyes half-lidded dreaming of nothing. "Here..."
"Wha-" your voice catches in your throat, it's getting harder to breathe.
"Your supplies" He hands you the brown paper bag, motion a little too phlegmatic to be right.
"Oh, right...thanks" You anxiously shove the bag into your basket and scurry out of the shop. Holding your breath.
"Come back soon." the voice chirps behind you.
Your old master arrives by spaceship, a newer, albeit worn model. The landing pad ejects to reveal a small escort.
Master,
Knight,
Padwan,
Apostate,
You stand still watching as they descend. Bits of envy bubble in your throat watching your former master and his band of little heroes. You wish you had their belonging. Forgoing the loneliness to find kinsmanship with your coterie. You swallow down the bitter thoughts as they finally approach you.
Master Sol's smile reaches his eyes. Gentle and wise. The true epidemy of a Jedi in every sense of the word. Funny how he now has two failures under his belt. None of which are capable of scratching his shining repute.
His hands are on your shoulders, bright smile. "My padawan, it's been too long." You try to bow, awkwardly and stiffly. "Mater Sol, I'm grateful you've come to asses my progress". If he hears your doubt he doesn't show it. Instead, he reintroduces you to Yord, Jacki, Osha.
You try to be polite. Gulp down the awkwardness
You imagine the taste of strawberries on your tongue.
Remember their stiff sweetness and prickly tasteless freckles.
You smile. Easier this time.
They'll stay here for some time. Hunting assassins and documenting progress in their free time. Jacki seems more invested in your training than you are, trying to teach you everything she knows. At least she doesn't mind the rough play, the violent strikes, and sloppy prideful defenses. She speaks in pointers and parries. She's the one to drag you along these assassin hunts. Welcoming you...or at least trying to.
But there is something else at play. Darker, broader, Sol and Jecki welcome you into the fray. Yet you still feel your old master's hesitance, he's still wary of you. Worried about your anger, your defiance.
The distance grows, some icy void.
Sol used to tell you fairytales. This was back when you'd been young and bright-eyed. Freshly welcomed into the order and still overflowing with artless hope for a colorful future.
But even back then, he had known there was something wrong with you.
Looking back it was evident.
Every story started and ended the same. Little princess against the big bad world. Holding out until her prince came along. Only problem was the morals never registered right in your little messed-up brain.
Why didn't the princess fall for the dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones? Why didn't she swoon and sigh over someone rousing, compelling? A paradox wrapped in black ember? Why settle for a sun-painted prince, with no complexities, no mysteries to unravel?
You would have married the dragon, or the wolf, or the tyrant king with a crown of bones.
Even back then, it was evident something was wrong.
The temple's roof isn't restricted per se.
It's rather abandoned as opposed to forbidden.
Maybe that's why you find solace here. The abandonment feels familiar, similar. The chipped cement kisses the soles of your feet, you imagine it's something like walking upon the rough terrain of a star.
You breathe in the night air deeply.
Expecting the fragile scents of moonshine and star glitter.
Instead, you choke on heavy mist and blood-drenched air.
The thing standing in front of you isn't human. It can't be human. It's created from the blackness, ebony in all the ways a living thing shouldn't be. For a second you think you're staring at a black hole. No doubt this creature crawled out of one.
What sheer willpower one must need to drag themselves out of endless nothingness?
"Little Jedi should not brave the night alone."
It speaks
"There are far too many monsters roaming in the dark"
Its face never moves, statue in all the ways the figures towering over the entrance aren't. This statue is something else, a lost page to some forgotten epic. Carved from gems born in darkness. Evil and rotten.
"What are you?" your voice susurrate, quivering in this surreal scene. The air is thicker now, overflowing with raw static.
Your fingers itch for your saber. Only when the cold metal kisses your palm do you regain some semblance of reality.
The hiss, the green light.
The figure chuckles.
Its voice bouncing from every direction. Everywhere all at once. When it speaks the air cackles, raining as if it were a frightened child.
"I am something akin to you, another child of the force" His voice comes out distorted, uneven in tone. "I am what's birthed when one learns of the true strength of the force."
Your body moves on its own, feet kicking the ground sprinting faster and faster before the final leap. You aim for the helmet, for the morbid toothy grin permanently etched within steel. In a flash the word stills, floating around you like fluorescent bubbles, the rain tumbles around you, curving and diving for the wet ground. It dares not land on something within his grasp.
You feel the slithering across your body. They start from the ground, summed from the unknown depths. Clinging firmly to your ankles before inching up your knees, your hips, your neck.
long, slipper tendrils curling around your body. The figure watches, bare arm outstretched. You should probably be focused on how the unseen things are inching closer to your mouth. Not on the toned muscles and limber fingers of the monster. Not on how, for a fraction of a heartbeat, his smile appears genuine, caring, aimed straight at you.
Only You
They finally reach your lips, prying your teeth ajar and flooding your mouth. Sinking deeper and deeper into your soul, your mind, you.
The smile grows.
In a blink you're suspended in the space between worlds, dark damning thing cradling your body.
"The dark side once belonged to the Jedi, yet they chose to discard it. Deeming it malignant, ungovernable."
Your weightlessness unnerves you. You're malleable in this void.
"Those few who embraced its calling were dubbed Sith." He says the word with such fervent pride. Devoted to it's weight and all it carries. You try to roll the word off your own tongue only for it to burn the roof of your mouth.
The stranger stalks closer, lethal and lithe.
The void vibrates, the darkness bends to his will.
He reaches down to cup your face. His fingers feel warm, welcoming. You nuzzle into his palm, fighting the urge to kiss each finger and suck on the dark force they emit. "You..." he starts, his voice shakes you to the core. Its horror amplifies with the proximity. You wonder if it'll cut through steel, armor, flesh.
your flesh.
"You aren't like the other temple dwellers. You have potential."
His thumb presses your lower lip, demanding entrancing. You comply, needing to feel something solid.
Something you've been denied your whole life.
"They keep you locked away. Trading you between craven masters. Seeing who can tame you first."
He nicks his thumb on your teeth,
Pressing bone into dentin.
His essence drips into you.
He tastes of power.
Of dark, dreadful things you can not name.
"They do not know how to train you. How to use your power..."
The world crumbles, ebony midnights giving way to reality. You feel yourself fall, plunging through the air like a comet bent on destruction.
"They only break you further"
Your knees collide with the harsh ground. Skin splintering in the aftermath giving way to bruises and bloodmarks.
The ground feels too solid beneath you.
A poly, a ruse.
You all but expect to melt through it. Slipping and falling into the vacuum, into him, once more.
He hovers above. Absolute in his strength. You're beginning to believe that blackholes birth divinity. Eyes shimmering with fanatic fidelity, staring up at the holy creature commanding the storm.
"Teach me..."
You've never begged for anything so terribly in your life.
But you need this.
this power
this control.
him.
Sol never told just how the princess met the villain.
He never said it wasn't love at first fright.
Sol insists that the local apothecary knows the truth behind the Jedi-killer. Definite that the unseemly man can tell you something important. He sends Osha inside to play Mea. To get the man to talk.
You crowd around the communicator urging back giggles. Yord's chin is placed upon your shoulder and Jecki's cheek rests against yours. Their touches come so early. And yet they are utterly alien.
"He will be so pleased." No sooner have the words chime from the corroded speakers that Sol is ushering you all towards the small metal hut.
Yord entwines his fingers with you as he runs.
Jacki wraps around your arm.
You feel at times they are trying to tame you.
Befriend the feral puppy they found in the backyard.
The apothecary's face is utterly stunned. He's stammering over his words fear glistening in his eyes as he stares at Sol. "Please, please don't wipe my memories. Or whatever it is you Jedi do." A rosy blush colors your cheeks, at his terror. It's terribly amusing seeing someone so carless, anxiously list off everything he knows. You almost feel bad for the poor scared man.
There isn't anything important here. But Sol decides that you will all return at midnight. The Jedi-killer will be back. Apparently, Qimir -that's his name, that the strawberry-eating, disheveled pharmacist's name- is holding something of value for her.
There's a tug on your wrist as you go to follow the others. Gentle and firm as he pulls you to his chest. "Come by tonight. I'll have some strawberries waiting for you." why does he feel too genuine? When you turn to look at him, he's painted in his usual sweet carefree smile that tugs at your heart.
He looks so innocent...
Starlight really brings out his eyes. He's laughing with a nervous smile,
School-boy crush on full display. You're licking strawberry juice from your hands as you listen to him talk. Backs pressed against the rusty wall and bodies half sprawled in the dirt. He's telling you about the first time the Hutts made him retrieve a plushie for their son from another solar system.
Qimir's voice feels like rose peddles melting into your skin. Sweet, jejeune, free. You offer him a berry from your pile. Watching tentatively as he submerges the red fruit into his mouth. Missing your fingers by an inch. He's laughing after the fact, head thrown back as if he's about to engulf the stars. You decide to laugh too.  
"Are you really that lonely," he says in a voice that's almost not his own. You're not expecting the invasive question, although you guess he means well. The words still cut deep. Piercing through the laughter, stunning you for a breath too long. "No...I'm a Jedi, we do not-"
"Form personal connection. I know...But you just look so lonely." He shuffles closer, the dirt particles almost look celestial in this light. Your fingers pitch a civil war. Pinching and clawing at each other. "No, yes. I don't really get along with the others." He rolls his eyes, bored and amused in the same breath. "Yeah, no wonder your money." He's picking at another strawberry, letting the crunch fill up the silence. You're beginning to think he just likes having something to chew on. Gulping down the anxiety with something toothsome.
He's a little closer now, fingers gingerly tucking back your hair. His fingerprints reverberate across the shell of your ear. Lips gliding against yours. You swallow as his lips fall across yours, pushing sweet stars past parted lips. He tastes of odd things, whimsy things. Everything you'll never come to understand. Xeno fruits and asteroid fields. His fingers glide up your arms, leaving moondust in their wake. He slowly parts, holding you softly with his soulful dark eyes
"You taste so sweet"
Strawberry, Starberry, You kiss him a little too deeply.
Maybe your new master is right.
Maybe there are other ways of being a Jedi.
The movie playing is doused in shades of rose and lilac. Gentle in all the ways. Everyway. The twi'lek girl is in love with the zabrak boy and their families do not approve. You think you remember Sol telling you a similar tale.  
The makeshift auditorium is cozy. Brown couch housing the three of you and your armada of blankets and popcorn buckets. Jacki's head is in your lap, you're playing with the end of her braid imagining the hair to be the lace of a Love-sick girl's ballgown. Yord's arm traverses the length of your arm, absentminded as he studies the motion picture, poking holes in the lose rose-tainted plot. Your head rests against his broad shoulder taking in his new cologne.
Maybe you really did miss them.
Jacki reaches for the popcorn, offering you some before shoving a handful into her mouth. You think the little symmetry-less kernels would taste better with a strawberry glaze. Qimir flashes across your mind, smiling sweetly as he tilts his head.
You think you're a little too similar to the star on screen.
Pinning after forbidden love,
Forbidden power.
Master Sol is growing acutely aware of your drastic improvements. He's noticed the betterment in your offense, your defense. To the way, you wield your saber, your techniques, and yourself. There is esteem in the way he smiles. In the words of praise, you've longed to hear. But you notice the lingering glances, the undertone of skepticism and worry when he asks about practice. He doesn't need to know of the black-glad creature that trains you in the unholy hours.
He doesn't need to know how beautifully your new master sculpts your rage into lessons. Teaching you how to wrangle the force and control it. How to use it to make the world bow.
These things will remain secret. For you fear Sol and the others will strip them of you. Strip them of the new master you've come to worship.
"Do you think people glow when they fall in love?" Jacki's voice is filled with sleep. Eyes closed as she murmurs remnants of movie memory. "No, I don't believe they do" you answer. "too...bad" There was a yawn there darling and vigorous like the rests of her. She looks so sweet like this, infantile in all the ways she can't be. Little girl dreaming of something impossible. You wonder if Sol's told her the fairytales too. You kiss the crown of her head, your baby sister you think. And big brother Yord, snoring with his head thrown back.
Maybe you should test her theory. rising softly from the couch you make your way to the door. Throwing one final glance at your sleeping siblings. Before going to find Qimir.
His lips ghost over yours, spilling star-clad secrets between each kiss. The apothecary has never been so dark, so secret, so secluded. Qimir's lips glided across your neck biting the flesh and licking the little diamond droplets of blood. Your nails rack across his spine, the wool of his throw-over itching the backs of your hands. "So precious" he mumbles, voice ridden with want, need. it's criminal how desperately he needs to feel you. You writhe under him, "Qimir, kiss." you whine. His lips feel like a lifeline, something keeping you sain. He pushes fireflies and lava pearls inside you, carving you open and enjoying you
He always enjoys you.
It's foggy outside when his tongue clashes against yours. A thick unsettling mist banging against the darkened window. "You're custom-made for me" Qimir mumbles against your lips. "Custome tailored" you boldly correct. "ummm, sure" his hands pinch at your hips, clawing mindlessly and leaving tails to your thighs. But the sensations are growing distant, you hear the heavy hum of saber activation. You psyche cracks
The world is dark,
He alone is absolute.
Your master's mask flashes dangerously across your mind. "Master Sol would be disappointed". You've heard that line a million times. Still, the words cut a little too deep coming from your demiurger. "Gullible" you don't understand, what have you done to earn his rage? He's gone, leaving you in the emptiness, you taste the charcoal from the landscape under your tongue.
Still, you long to call after him.
"Master"
The darkness subsides with the feeling of softness across your muscles. A breeze stirs you from the clutches of slumber. "Good morning" Qimir chirps, soft smile greeting you as you open your eyes. "Qimir, when did I?" he laughs, it's such a pretty sound this early in the morning. Sweet like caramel tea. He kisses your forehead. His quietude is commendable, he tries to calm you with feather-light kisses. You laugh pushing the covers away and still. Frozen.
What's this
The nightgown is lacy and short. It drapes expensively against your skin. Marring it with its tenderness. "Qimir, what's this!" he chuckles, "I couldn't let you sleep in those robes, they looked uncomfortable." You want to argue, to scream, and be angry. But the rage boils down slowly as you notice something dangling around your wrist. A bangle, and an anklet you notice later, black and gold entwined in patterns mirroring lighting stricks. "They're from Korriban, I had some relatives there." oh, why does that planet sound so familiar? "Thanks, but ask me next time before you go playing dress-up doll with my sleeping body" He pouts and can't help but trail a string of mouthy kisses across his neck. Qimir shuffles pulling you onto his lap. Pushing his nose under your chin. His eyes are honey-deo, adoring and scheming. "But you're mine." The possessive ness that flesh across his face is alarming. So is how tightly he grips your waist. It's only in this state of half-undressed that you begin to notice the taut muscles of his arms.
During your most recent lesson, your master gifts you a ripe juicy strawberry. He says it'll focus you, replenish your wither strength. You eat it a little too quickly, forgetting to savor the pink blush within. You believe too ferociously in everything your master says.
He can never be wrong.
You love the way your new master splatters blood across your sleeves. Be it yours or his enemies. He's started taking you out on his kills, having you watch as he hacks and mauls. His enemies must die, no one who doubts such marvels should be granted the privilege of life.
He's only ever spoken in half-riddles.
"Unfortunately legacy is a fickle thing. Tenacious, fervent, yet frail and erratic. No matter how hematological, we all read our bones differently."
The rain falls to your ragged heartbeat. Fast one minute and slow the next. You stick out your tongue desperate for a few drops. Your body is on fire, every muscle pushed to its limit. But the Force is screaming inside you, thumping dangerously between your fingers. You're ready for the next round. Saber ready and only half mesmerized as your master pulls out another blood-red saber. You charge, rage pumping deliciously through your body.
You forget to ask him where he got the berry from.
The next Jedi to die will be Kelnacca. That's why Sol is dragging all of you to the forest planet of Khofar. You think the name is utterly hilarious, the others don't understand the mirth.
Between briefings and Jacki and Yords packing quarrels. You sneak out to say goodbye to Qimir. Scribbling a half eligible not to leave for your master. But the apothecary is deserted upon your arrival, only a taped note on a half-full mortar.
'Gone to get more Strawberries.
Be back soon.'
You wonder if Khofar has strawberries.
Strawberry, Starberry, you're falling between the cracks of so many.
The Sun on Khofar is red, barely breaching the thick canopy. Maybe it's for the best. This scene is not one to remember, but how can you make yourself forget?
Death looms.
Permanent, Eternal
The fighting began in twilight.
The sky has grown two shades darker since.
He had floated in from the high reaches. You'd almost called out to him, 'master', the words die bitterly on your tongue. His saber ignites in the carnage, light growing redder after each kill. The bodies fall haphazardly stirring the quiet night.
Your saber falls onto the woodchip ground. No sound. He has followed you here. Yet it is not you, he seeks. Your master mask is haunting, in the dark the silver mouth glows bright white. Even against a massacre
the smile never relents.
He twirls the red saber with lethal accuracy, red arc severing another life. 'Take the right!' Jacki screams through the force, her eager voice bouncing inside your cranium. 'Don't' you scream but she's already attacked.
Saber sings saber.
Golden light flickers.
Forward. Backward. Lunge. Parry. Flunge.
Just like you practiced. Back in the quiet of the training room. Is it too late to return to the matted ground and wooden swords? Too late for safe comfort?
You won't take it for granted this time you swear.
Your master attacks with vicious zeal, cutting through the light. His black robes bleeding into the night. Jacki, scurries backward, trying to block with every ounce of strength. In one swift move, she spins freeing herself and assaulting his head with the metal of her weapon.
The mask clutters to the ground.
You scream.
He looks every bit the villain here. Blood drenched, water drenched. Smiling like the wolf in a child's picture book. Qimir's face stares back at you, hair matted to his forehead. He's panting, spent. You've never seen him toil. Dreaming him incapable of harm.
Yet he stands above the corpses. Wolf's teeth bared as he slices through the little girl.
It's been years since Master Sol tucked you into bed. Years since he's read you a story and listened to your baseless questions about romances.
You've finally gotten your answer. Painted in a shade of red indistinguishable from black.
Because the villain is too vile to be loved.
You run, catching the limp corpse before it joins the rest, you cradle her close. Tears landing on the orange of her face. There are no strawberry romances here. No sweet forbidden fruits. Just pain, hollow, empty, rotten. "Jacki" your voice muffles into her robes, rain-soaked, tear-soaked.
"Was that its name?" his voice doesn't sound right. No cheerful hellos or drowsy laughs. It's all menacing now, grating and hollow lilt. "Qimir" you wail, sob half caught in your throat. "It can't be you." He shakes his head, smile crooked and maniacal. "I'm afraid so, little one." The force pushed you up, pulling you to him. Qimirs head tilts, his fingers dancing around your throat. Squeezing squeezing squzing. Your glossy eyes take in his unruly appearance. Even now your master looks utterly perfect. Muscles relaxed as he steals your breath. "Master" you whine, your heart shouldn't be hammering like this, leaping through beats like something lovesick.
"(Y/n)" golden light fills the clearing. Yord runs, Prince Charming in every way you should have loved.
Qimir releases you, only to nestle your neck in the crook of his arm. "Don't worry darling. I'm almost done." He blocks the first attack.
Second, third. Yord scrambles to pull you away, missing each time. "Let her go" The urgency in his voice rattles you. He did love you.
Little sister, little princess.
Why is only starting to make sense now?
There's a crack, so loud it echoes across the woods.
"NO"
Yord's body joins the rest.
no no no
"Where were we?" Qimir is every bit the villain.
The dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones.
"You lied to me, you killed them. Why, why would you do this."
"Because the Jedi say I can not exist." Sith, right those things were supposed to be evil. Hailing from Koriiban, the evil Jedi forced to flee. And here you were having so readily given yourself to the enemy.
The blood flows free in the rain. Dozens of bodies drained.
There's a river of blood. You kneel by the holy thing, dipping your cupped hands into the crimson. You drink deeply from the massacre thinking it'll taste sweet. Qimir pulls you in holding your throat as he submerges you.
Baptized in blood
The world flashes red.
It feels so free here. Floating weightless, letting everything be. The rage can not find you in these depths. Free like an adrift astromech. Free to float amongst the stars.
When you emerge again. The world has grown brighter. You see the wide-eyed bodies, even Sol is among the dead, you swear you see disappointment in his lifeless orbs. You gulp, swallowing the euphoric faint. You see your new master before you. Swimming to him carefully, following the gentle tug of the force. Prey meets predator. Qimir chuckles, the water is shallow by the banks. He sits awaiting, on his makeshift throne.
There is no sympathy here you should know better
"You took adorable" Qimir rasps. Hot breath fanning your ear. "Master Qimir" you mumble shifting as he pulls you onto his lap. He laughs this is submission, a breath away from grasping his desire. He cups your cheeks, drifting his hands to your shoulders. Pulling you closer, bodies melting into one.
His kisses still taste like strawberries. Sweet and metallic. All possession and domination. Biting lips and tongue and flesh. Spilling fresh poison with each snip of your neck. He licks the blood from your fingers with feral pleasure. Swirling his tongue around each digit and pulling it further down his hungry mouth. You swallow the darkness from his tongue, letting him snuff out the little embers of light. The stars are burning away bit by bit. He pushes you under again.
Mornings on Khofar are dark, caught in a perpetual twilight. Qimir wraps his robes around you letting the midnight sink into your bones. "The ships a bit of a walk. But we should be there before noon." You paddle after him. Fingers lashing awkwardly at his hand. He turns and offers you that tilted smile once more, mask bouncing in his free hand.
"Master qimir" you confess, it feels so light on your tongue. Like clutching dying white-dwarf-stars behind your teeth. He chuckles, snapping a berry from a nearby bush. His smile sings of triumph, victory, earned in blood. He places the fruit amongst your teeth. You, his little war prize.
"My little acolyte"
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alexlwrites ¡ 7 months ago
Text
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Alpha! Hyung line x Omega! Reader
✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: "And through some happenstance, casual and cruel, shaped by the hands of the Moon goddesses, you ended up face to face with what They considered your fated mates.
Of course, they didn’t know that - how could they recognize their goddess-given match if you had no scent? As long as you didn’t reach maturity, only you would feel this pull, this constant urge pooling at your lower abdomen when their scents filled your nose and sent your eyes rolling back.
You knew your place and it was not amongst royalty."
OR  
The one where you find your fated alphas, but they can't find you.
✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔:  Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, ABO, Soulmate AUs.
✿ 𝑨/𝑵: Should I be writing another fanfic when I have not finished a single one of my works? No. Does my brain understand that? Also no.
Anyway enjoy, like and subscribe and ignore any mistakes as english is not my first language and i dont proof read anything in my life.
P.S: This is heavely inspired by the book Pack Darling, so shoutout to that duology give it a read, yall!
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: This is a 18+ work! Minors, please do not interact. Also, there will be mentions of violence and abuse.
(Fanfic masterlist)
(support me on my ko-fi if you enjoy my work <3)
°•. ✿ .•°
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬
You didn’t know how long you had been running, nor how far you’d gotten. The skies had darkened and then lightened again since the moment of your escape and you assumed you had a few more hours before your absence was noticed, but you didn’t have it in yourself to stop, steps only briefly faltering from exhaustion but still fueled by fear.
You had to keep going. No amount of distance was enough between you and what you had left behind.
Still, there was only so much your body could take in its malnourished state and after a while your legs slowed down on their own, feet too hurt to continue carrying your weight. Yet you stumbled forward through unknown woods, watching trees and shrubbery blurr past you as you dragged yourself towards what you hoped was west - towards the coast.
You had never left the walls that surrounded your family’s home, but had seen the maps that covered the walls of your father’s study enough to remember the outlines of the charted land and the sprawling expanse of the coastal city near the territory you lived - the closest and the only one you could get on foot, even if you were unsure what your next step would be once you got there.
Adamas - the capital of diamonds - laid hopefully ahead of you, filled to the brim with marine vessels and royal ships that you could maybe sneak in and let yourself be carried far away from the claws of your family, running until you found somewhere quiet and reclusive where you could spend your days alone and free from your own status and its implications.
But that dream seemed further and further away as your body shivered and withered, unable to continue your journey, faltering until you gave out and found yourself lying atop a pile of leaves on the cold forest floor.
You sighed, a tortured breath escaping your exhausted lungs. Maybe it was the best you’d get - not the solitary cottage you yearned for, but the swift death by the hands of nature. Still an escape, death. Still freedom from that was always expected of you, from the destiny that awaited.
You closed your eyes and waited, giving up on the weight of consciousness. Any moment now, you thought. It would all be over. As the edges of your mind started to become hazy, your tired lungs pulled one more labored breath and with it a scent that reached out to the deepest parts of your soul with a calming, friendly touch and released the tension from your body.
This is heaven, you thought, and allowed yourself to sleep.
***
There was an unconscious omega in his lands and King Namjoon was unsure on what to do.  
Omegas were rare within the wolf genes - they were the smallest of the packs, the caregivers and kindest diplomats, made to become nursing figures within each family dynamic and bring balance to the usually violent and short fused nature of alphas, despite their positions as providers and leaders. But omegas, gentle and fragile omegas, were far and few between and from a very young age Namjoon had been taught to treat them with the utmost care. 
With that being said, Namjoon was also taught to be wary of trespassers and this tiny, wounded omega was somehow within his borders. 
How did you get there, he wondered. There were no roads leading to the back of the castle where he usually strolled through in the early mornings, only thick woods that would be almost a day on foot before you got to any sort of path.
In the end, his instincts spoke louder, dynamics drilled into his brain and pulling him towards the tattered frame on the ground. With all the kindness he could muster from his large frame, he gathered your body in his arms, gently cradling your form.
As he walked, he let his eyes access you: small, disconcertingly thin, with hollow cheeks and dark circles marring your lovely soft features. You had no mating mark on your neck and no distinguishable scent - and that was what confused him the most.
When an omega reaches maturity, their scent would evolve into something unique that would eventually be used to attract a mate and potentially even identify a fated scent match - a partner made by the heavens, your perfect half.
But despite looking past the age of maturity, you smelled clean, neutral with just a hint of sweetness to classify you as an omega.
What on earth could have happened to you, he wondered, worriedly scanning your bruised body and jutting bones.
And what on earth would he do with you?
***
Sometimes Hoseok couldn’t understand his leader.
He watched as Namjoon paced up and down his office, heavy steps echoing around as he stomped in contemplation.
From the day they met, decades ago, when they were both babbling toddlers, Hoseok had accepted  the younger man as pack. Both sons of monarchs, born in allied families, they were thrown together in royal play pens as soon as they could hold the weight of their own heads.
Hoseok always considered it a privilege to watch his brother in arms grow into his  position - a natural born leader, a king. And Hoseok never once doubted his ability to rule fairly and successfully. 
But every so often he couldn’t help but question his friend’s common sense.
“Namjoon” he called to his still restless friend “You cannot possibly be considering throwing the omega in the dungeons?”
“She is technically trespassing” his friend argued stubbornly.
“She’s an omega!”
His own mother being a rare omega, some rules had been drilled very early into Hoseok’s young mind: omegas are to be treasured, his father had said, it is your job as an alpha to protect them should you be blessed enough to find one.
He hadn’t actually seen the omega. He had barely woken up when a maid ushered him to the king’s office where Namjoon had asked for his council while burning a hole through the carpet. 
“She could be dangerous. Some sort of trap, maybe?”
No threat could scare Hoseok more than the idea of his father finding out he had allowed some poor omega to be thrown into their underground cells and so he pleaded “Put her in one of the guest rooms and set my guards in the exits. When she wakes up, I’ll interrogate her myself.”
Namjoon considered the offer for a few seconds, examining the face of the captain of his guard and one of his closest friends. At last, he nodded and settled down in a nearby chair, calling a guard to give the order to move you from the infirmary to the guest aisle of his castle as soon as possible.
Unable to hold back his curiosity any longer, Hoseok asked his shaky leader after a few seconds of silence “What is she like?”
There was a gleam in Namjoon’s eyes Hoseok couldn’t explain and doubted his king could either “Small,” he let out quietly “black and blue all over, all skin and bones like she hadn’t seen a plate of food in days”. Hoseok closed his fists on an impulse and had to force his fingers to relax. Could he blame this sort of reaction on his instincts? 
He thought Namjoon wouldn’t say anything else, but after a few more seconds of silence his king continued “Pretty” he said softly at last, almost like an afterthought.
Hoseok couldn’t help himself, having never met another omega besides his own mother, and asked “And… The scent?”
“Clean.”
Hoseok blinked “She’s a child?”
“No. Full grown. Can’t be more than a couple years younger than us.”
That’s odd, Hoseok thought. From what he was taught, a healthy adult omega should have developed a signature scent - like his mom, with her easily recognizable roses and clear meadows.
Right as he was about to ask to see you, his fascination with the idea of a scentless omega getting the best of him, a maid rushed into the room to announce your awakening.
Both men rushed out of the room, elbowing each other to leave first through the door, impatient to get to where you laid, barely avoiding toppling the poor maid on their way.
The infirmary was a wide room with tall ceilings and large windows that let in the morning light from most angles. That same light illuminated your figure as they walked in, eyes drawn to the only bed occupied in the room.
Oh. You were in fact pretty, Hoseok concluded, watching you blink owlishly at the sunlight invading the space. You had a soft looking kind of beauty that was barely overshadowed by your debilitated state that caused a stirring of protection in both alphas. Who could’ve left you like that, he wondered, and how quickly could he wrap his hands around their necks and twist…
“You’re awake” Namjoon pointed out, catching your attention.
That seemed to be the wrong course of action. When your eyes landed on where the men stood by the door, they widened to the size of saucers. Something about their presence sent you scrambling out of your bed, falling onto the ground with a dull thud as you rushed to put some space between yourself and the imposing males.
“Hey, hey, hey” Hoseok raised his hands, palms facing forward to indicate his intention to cause no harm, your terrified expression keeping him far “Be careful, little lady.”
You didn’t say anything, just kept cowering further and further away until your back hit a wall and you winced in pain.
“Stand up and get back to your bed” Namjoon commanded roughly and Hoseok could see your fighting against the urge to submit to the alpha’s orders, causing him to elbow his friend “Please” he added “You are hurt and weak and shouldn’t be out of bed’ he continued in a much gentler tone. 
Slowly, you moved yourself back to the mattress, shuffling to hide under the blankets, bringing them over your nose and leaving only your panicked eyes visible.
The last thing Hoseok wanted at that moment was to interrogate you when you were so clearly distressed, body shaking under your burrow. But he had duties to uphold and your presence raised questions that just staring at your disarmingly cute face wouldn’t answer.
“What’s your name, little lady?” he asked.
You mumbled your name so quietly he almost didn’t catch it, the sound stifled by the fabric covering your lips. When he did hear it, he did not recognize it.
“How did you manage to get into the castle’s grounds?”
You gulped. “The castle?” you repeated in a whisper. 
“Do you know where you are?” Namjoon asked and you shook your head fearfully “Do you know who we are?”
Sinking deeper into the safety of your blankets, you shook your head once more.
“I’m Jung Hoseok, head of the royal guard” and just when Hoseok thought your eyes couldn’t get any wider, they did, panic seeping further into your gaze “And this is Kim Namjoon” the words had your face paling until devoid of any color, yet he continued “the King of Adamas.”
Both men watched your face for a reaction, seeing you gape in shock, eyes rolling back to your skull as you promptly passed out.
***
You woke up to a churning stomach and a pounding headache, both hunger symptoms that you were very familiar with. How many days had it been since you last ate? You couldn’t tell, the night sky outside the windows of the empty room signaling the end of another day. And at that moment, your starvation was the least of your problems. 
The king - the fucking king - was your mate. And so was the head of his guard. 
When you first opened your eyes to sunlit room, regaining consciousness after Gods knew how long, their scent hit you like a brick to the face, sending you flying off the bed on the brink of a panic attack.
This couldn’t be happening. Not now. You were so close!
You looked for their reaction, trying to gauge if they were feeling what you were - this life changing pull in your core, this prickling feeling underneath your skin, fingers twitching at your side to reach for your alphas.
But there was nothing, not a flick of recognition, only wariness and mild concern.
These were not your alphas - these were your king and his most trusted guard. And you were just an omega on the run, worth only the money you could be sold for.
You remembered the first offer your father had received once the neighboring towns heard about his siring of an omega. Up until then your father had never seen much value in your existence. Before you, he had only had alpha boys - three, to be exact - older, stronger and meaner than you, built for leadership roles and bringing his legacy to another level.
But you? What use did he have for small, needy, whimpering you? None, he had told you many times over. Your father had never been afraid to remind you of your place in the household: the burden.
Until you became the pot of gold.
You weren’t sure how, but someway or another the news of your existence reached the next town and then the next town over, and so forth until your father was reminded that even though he saw no value in housing an omega, the rest of the world did. 
5 million. That was the first offer he received, when you were only fourteen.
And for a moment you believed that could be your way out of your father’s cruel claws - get yourself a husband far away and live happily ever after, pampered and taken care of by some alpha knight.
But those daydreams died soon enough when you learned from the maids what happened to sold omegas.
Imprisoned. Trapped. Breeded. Discarded. Rinse. Repeat.
There was an audible crack in your heart, a rift in the fragile rivulet of hope you had for a future of better days. Since then, the only thing you could hope for was an escape. You daydreamed of far away lands and open fields with no civilization for miles, only an ivy covered cottage for you to hide away from the world.
Alas, that dream seemed further and further away as you got older. You knew your father was just waiting for you to present, hoping that whatever scent you developed would up the price with its enticement and your late blooming was a constant reason for his frustration. Your development was the only thing between you and your sale to the highest bidder.
And if you had any say in it, you would never present. In order to do so, your body needed to be healthy - and you just never were.
Starvation, overexhaustion and overworked muscles had been your saviors since you realized they could delay your maturity. So from the day you turned 16 - about the age omegas started presenting - you began restricting your meals to about one every two days. You ran around the property’s grounds until your feet screamed in agony and your knees gave out. Your sleep schedule was messy and insufficient and so your body remained fragile and unchanged.
And that worked up until your 22nd birthday when your father got tired of waiting.
And so you ran, climbing on the back of a supply carriage that you had visited one day and letting it carry you as far as it could. And then you sprinted, like you had been doing for years.
And through some happenstance, casual and cruel, shaped by the hands of the Moon goddesses, you ended up face to face with what They considered your fated mates.
Of course, they didn’t know that - how could they recognize their goddess-given match if you had no scent? As long as you didn’t reach maturity, only you would feel this pull, this constant urge pooling at your lower abdomen when their scents filled your nose and sent your eyes rolling back.
You knew your place and it was not amongst royalty. You were, as your father always pointed out, too small, too weak and too soft to carry on a legacy, a kingdom. 
You had to get out before your ticking bomb of a body turned against you and distanced you once more from your peaceful cottage dream.
You just needed to figure out how.
°•. ✿ .•°
𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝
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sacerdotessa ¡ 1 year ago
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Midheaven in signs
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Aries Midheaven:
you’re such a competitive individual and an innovator, you’re not afraid of taking risks and being bold. It’s hard for you to depend on other people, you need to be your own leader when it comes to your career. The perfect career path involves a lot of action and dynamism, following every day the same routine is not something that appeals you. As a driven individual, you thrive on challenges and are always seeking new opportunities to grow and learn. You have a natural ability to think outside of the box and come up with innovative solutions to problems. You're not afraid to take risks and push yourself outside of your comfort zone, because you know that's where growth happens. When it comes to your career, you're not content with simply following the crowd. You need to be in control of your own destiny and chart your own path. You have a strong sense of purpose and direction, and you're not afraid to pursue your dreams with relentless determination. The perfect career for you is one that allows you to constantly evolve and adapt. You need to be challenged, stimulated, and engaged in your work on a daily basis. With your competitive spirit and innovative mindset, you're sure to make a real impact in whatever career path you choose
Taurus Midheaven:
Your top priorities are stability, enjoying life and being creative. You prefer to approach your career methodically, following a routine is not something that bothers you. You have amazing taste and expressing your creativity is very important for you. You might enjoy a career path that involves aesthetics and creativity, you might also enjoy a job that revolves around food (you might be a great chef). You should choose a career that aligns with your priorities and natural abilities, for example, exploring opportunities in the creative arts. You could pursue a career as a graphic designer, interior decorator, or fashion designer. Alternatively, you may find fulfillment in the culinary arts, either as a chef or food stylist. Whatever path you choose, be sure to focus on finding a work-life balance that allows you to enjoy the stability and creative expression that you value most. Remember, the most fulfilling career is one that brings you joy and satisfaction in all aspects of your life.
Gemini Midheaven:
You’re such a curious and multitalented individual, you might enjoy exploring multiple career paths during your lifetime. You’re talented when it comes to communications, media, journalism and anything that’s connected with writing. Routine is something that annoys you, you should choose a career path that involves a variety of activities. You’re also extremely expressive, you might be a talented actor. There are many career options that could suit your unique set of skills and interests. You should also consider pursuing a career in public relations or marketing because these fields often involve a mix of writing, communication, and creativity. Another option to consider is working in the entertainment industry, where your expressive nature and love for variety could be put to good use. You could explore opportunities in acting, directing, or even producing. With your natural curiosity and multitalented abilities, the possibilities are endless. Don't be afraid to try new things and explore different paths.
Cancer Midheaven:
Nurturing and taking care of those around you feels like a life mission for you. You’re such an empathetic soul, connecting with those around you and being sure that you’re working on making the world a better place is very important for you. You might be interested in a career that involves being around children or those who need support. Your natural inclination towards empathy and compassion makes you an ideal candidate to work with individuals who need emotional support and care. A career in counseling, social work, or education could be a fulfilling path for you to explore. You have the ability to connect with others on a deep level and understand their needs, making it easier for you to provide the necessary support and guidance. Additionally, your warm and nurturing personality would be a valuable asset in any team or workplace environment.
Leo Midheaven:
You’re such an ambitious individual and you love being in the spotlight. You’re a natural-born leader and you constantly need to attract other people's attention. You might be a good actor, singer or influencer. Being popular and influential seems to be some of your biggest goals. However, it's important to remember to use your platform for good. As a leader and influencer, you have the power to positively impact and inspire others. Consider using your talents and popularity to promote important causes or raise awareness about issues that matter to you. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. It's also important to stay grounded and humble, and not let fame or attention get to your head. Stay true to yourself and your values, and continue to work hard towards your goals while also making a positive impact on the world.
Virgo Midheaven:
You prefer a career path that brings you stability instead of one that brings you power and fame. Being in the spotlight is not something that appeals you and you prefer to help others instead of being at the center of the attention. Being helpful is very important for you, being a doctor or working in the healthcare field seems to be perfect for you. You might consider becoming a nurse, a physical therapist, or a medical assistant. You might also be interested in working with animals (becoming a veterinarian). If you have a passion for nature, you might consider a career in conservation or environmental science. Whatever path you choose, you can be sure that your desire to help others and make a difference in the world will be fulfilled.
Libra Midheaven:
You might be interested in working in a field connected with communication or art (you might be a great graphic designer), you might also be an amazing stylist or director, you know how to connect the right people and coordinate a team. You’re such a creative person and you love to express yourself, you’re also amazing when it comes to discovering other people's talents and valorizing them. You prefer facts over feelings and you have a logical mind, you might be a good lawyer. Don't be afraid to explore different options and take risks in order to find the right fit for you. Whether it's in the realm of communication, art, or law, there are countless opportunities available for those with this placement. Remember to stay true to yourself and never stop learning and growing in your chosen field. With hard work and perseverance, you can achieve great things and make a positive impact on the world around you.
Scorpio Midheaven:
You’re such a private person, being in the spotlight is not something that appeals you, and working behind the scenes seems to be a better option. You’re such a deep person who enjoys mysteries and taboos, you might be an amazing investigator, surgeon or psychologist. You’re not afraid of taking responsibility and making tough decisions, which makes you a great leader. Your ability to analyze situations and think critically also makes you an asset in any team. Your calm and composed demeanor in high-pressure situations is admirable. You have a great sense of empathy and understanding towards others, which is a valuable trait in any profession. Your dedication and hard work have helped you achieve success in your career, and your determination will continue to take you further.
Sagittarius Midheaven:
You’re an explorer and learning new things seems to be one of your biggest passions. You might be an amazing teacher, those around you love to hear you talking about what makes you feel passionate. You might explore many different career path during your lifetime and you seems to be kinda lucky when it comes to money and finding good opportunities. Your career could also revolve around traveling and exploring new places. Your adventurous spirit is what sets you apart from others. You thrive on the excitement of discovering new things and visiting uncharted territories. You have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge that drives you to explore different cultures, cuisines, and ways of life. Your love for learning is contagious and people around you are drawn to your enthusiasm. As a teacher, you have a unique ability to make complex concepts easy to understand. You have a way with words that captivates your audience and makes them feel excited to learn. Your career path may take you in many different directions, but one thing is for sure – you will never be bored.
Capricorn Midheaven:
You’re extremely ambitious and kinda “obsessed” when it comes to your career. Your reputation is very important for you, being perceived as someone who is important and influential is one of your biggest goals. You have a solid work ethic. You might be interested in finance or business. You’re an amazing leader, you tend to be admired by those around you for your success. However, it's important to remember that success isn't everything. While ambition is a great quality, it's also important to take breaks and prioritize self-care. It's okay to step back and reassess your goals and priorities. Don't forget to give yourself credit for how far you've already come. Remember that being a good leader also means being able to take care of yourself and those around you. Keep striving for success, but don't forget to enjoy the journey along the way.
Aquarius Midheaven:
You’re attracted to unconventional paths, not everybody are going to understand your job. You might try many different career during your lifetime, you’re someone who gets easily bored, starting again is something that makes you feel excited. You might work with technology (you might be a software engineer) or social network, you’re attracted to every jobs that involves technology, innovation and communication. Don't be afraid to take risks and try new things, but also be mindful of your long-term goals and aspirations. With your unconventional mindset and willingness to explore, you're sure to find a career path that suits you and makes you feel fulfilled. Keep an open mind and embrace the journey ahead!
Pisces Midheaven:
You’re not such a consistent person when it comes to your career, living in a capitalistic society is very hard for you. You’re such a creative person with a deep and insightful personality, you love to take care of others and you also love to express yourself through art. You might be an amazing artist and many people could feel inspired by your creations. You might also be a great therapist who has the ability to understand and empathize with others on a deep level. Whatever path you choose, it's important to remember that your unique perspective and talents are valuable and can make a positive impact on those around you. Don't be afraid to pursue your passions and explore different avenues until you find the career that truly fulfills you. With your creativity and caring nature, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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saturngalore ¡ 11 months ago
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folasade collection 🪴
i really wanted to do something special for black history month by collaborating with another black free cc creator so i teamed up with the incredible @yuyulie to create the folasade collection! named after the wonderful folasade “sade” adu, the folasade collection is an earthy, bohemian, and neo-soul inspired collection with 10 items that are perfect for your nature loving, free-spirited, and eclectic sims! pls download yuyulie’s side HERE (it’s amazing!!)
download my side via simsharefile (sfs) or on patreon - ALWAYS FREE!
in-depth details and cas pictures below!
for this collection, i created 3 different braided hairstyles (10 versions in total): the imani double braided buns (3 versions), amala high braided ponytails (3 versions), and the maliyah afro with a braided front (4 versions). each hair has a version (v1) without the side braids, a version (v2) that is compatible with yuyulie’s beautifully designed hair beads that can be found in the piercing section, and a version (v3) that has the side braids but with the base game wooden beads. the maliyah afro has an extra version (v4) that is a fuller and slightly larger version of the v1 afro. enjoy! 🫶🏾
base game compatible (bgc)
maxis palette (24 swatches)
teen-elder
fem frame (it’s enabled it for both frames)
not hat compatible (some accessories can fit!)
clipping might occur with the side braids (depending on a sim’s face, earrings, and/or body shape)
maliyah afro v4 slightly high poly (12k)!!
custom thumbnails
disallowed for random
all lods
please tag me if you do use my cc! i would absolutely love to see it! also, please let me know if you encounter any issues with my cc! here’s my tou. tysm! <3
tysm to cc rebloggers! @public-ccfinds @sssvitlanz
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astrolovecosmos ¡ 9 months ago
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Chiron in Aries as a spiritual warrior is confronting, impulsive, and strong. They embrace the bravery needed to navigate self-discovery, healing of the ego or identity, and empowerment overall. They fight for their soul. Despite this self-focus they can be good at getting others passionate about a cause or sense of justice.
Chiron in Taurus as a spiritual warrior embodies grounded healing, stability, and prosperity. They face issues of self-worth and material security with resilience. They can get stronger with a deep connection to nature, with self-acceptance, and seeing intrinsic value in things or people. Chiron in Taurus teaches that true healing arises from a strong sense of worthiness and connection to what you can create, nurture, or sustain.
Chiron in Gemini as a spiritual warrior is intellectually agile, communicative, and adaptable. They confront inner conflicts through dialogue, seeking understanding and integration. Embracing the power of words and ideas, they navigate the complexities of their psyche and relationships with curiosity and flexibility. They fight for clarity of thought and the liberation of the mind.
Chiron in Cancer as a spiritual warrior is the protector, guard, and natural healer. They address inner wounds with empathy and sensitivity, embracing vulnerability as a path to healing. Guided by intuition and the wisdom of the heart, they navigate the depths of their emotional landscape with compassion and courage. They fight for emotional security and the healing of ancestral patterns, fostering a sense of belonging and nurturing within themselves and others.
Chiron in Leo as a spiritual warrior is bold, creative, and fiercely authentic. They mend inner wounds related to self-expression and validation with heart and passion. Embracing their unique gifts and talents, they shine brightly as beacons of self-love and empowerment. They are guided by an inner fire and can inspire others to embrace their own sovereignty and creative potential. They fight for the liberation of the authentic self and the reigniting of a spiritual flame. They can also act as spiritual leaders at times.
Chiron in Virgo as a spiritual warrior is meticulous, analytical, and devoted to their causes or sense of justice. They must deal with inner wounds related to self-criticism and perfectionism with humility and acceptance. Embracing the power of self-care and service, they navigate the journey of self-improvement with precision and compassion. Guided by a desire for wholeness, they seek to heal themselves and others through practical, tangible means. They fight for inner purity and the integration of mind, body, and spirit.
Chiron in Libra as a spiritual warrior is guided by a desire for peace, they fight for inner equilibrium and harmonious connections. They fight and defend their inner peace and level-headedness. Logic and objectivity being tools for them on their healing journey. Embracing pros and cons of intimate or partnership-like dynamics, fighting for fairness, and seeking justice are all battles for this soul. Inner beauty, kindness, and grace are their weapons.
Chiron in Scorpio as a spiritual warrior delve into the shadows of the psyche, embracing the power of regeneration and healing. Guided by a profound understanding of the cycle of death and rebirth, they navigate the soul's journey with passion, intensity, and emotional strength. These are perceptive beings that must learn a lot about inner power and outer power dynamics. They fight for the integration of darkness and light, embracing the alchemical process.
Chiron in Sagittarius as a spiritual warrior seek a spiritual truth, they seek meaning and purpose. They are guided by a spirit of adventure and a thirst for higher knowledge, they navigate the terrain of their inner world with courage and optimism. They fight for liberation from limiting beliefs and dogma, embracing the transformative power of open-mindedness and philosophical exploration.
Chiron in Capricorn as a spiritual warrior navigates the rocky terrain of their inner world with patience and perseverance. They fight for self-reliance and the empowerment of their true potential, embracing the promise of hard work and follow the path to personal and spiritual growth. They are responsible, enduring, and ambitious spiritual leaders or followers. They have a deep sense of integrity and duty.
Chiron in Aquarius as a spiritual warrior breaks free from societal norms and embrace their authenticity. Guided by a spirit of innovation and a desire for social change, they navigate the complexities of their inner world with unconventional wisdom and radical self-acceptance. They fight for the freedom of the soul and the advancement of humanity, embracing collaboration and progressive thinking on the path to spiritual evolution. They inspire, rebel, argue, and shake things up.
Chiron in Pisces as a spiritual warrior transcends with profound empathy and spiritual insight. They are drawn to ideas and practices of enlightenment, seeking to dissolve boundaries and connect with the universal consciousness. They confront wounds related to vulnerability and sacrifice with a deep sense of compassion and selflessness. They fight to defend the sanctity of spiritual realms and to safeguard the well-being of all beings, embracing the archetype of a hero who fights out of love and devotion.
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wellofdean ¡ 2 months ago
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I've been reading lots of commentary on my dash about Dean's apology to Cas in The Trap that is, in a sense, re-litigating who is most to blame for their rupture, and who should be apologising.
On the one side, Cas, whose drive to protect and save the ones he loves leads him to go it alone and keep vital information from them, and on the other, Dean, whose anger, however justified, makes him cold, hard and uncompromising. Cas, who left, or Dean, who didn't ask him to stay. And, I think: can't they both be in error and standing in need of compassion? Is love a thing to be earned and deserved, or is it like grace, which is free and unmerited and complete forgiveness?
For me, these are two characters who are under tremendous pressure and in repeated dire circumstances, and who have given each other that kind of grace over and over and over again for years, and who have chosen each other every time a choice was there to be made. In the The Rupture, Dean is too angry to make talking about it viable (and I am not blaming him, he has his perfectly valid reasons! But, that's a fact) and Cas is too offended, hurt, and too proud to stay and bear Dean's anger, so he leaves.
A few episodes later, in Golden Time, Cas is told Chuck is back and is reminded of what they are fighting for, and who they are fighting against, and realises that his place is in that fight, at their side, whatever Dean's feelings, and that he has to go back. But, the tension remains -- Dean is angry, Cas is aloof. They go to hell. Rowena says "fix it" and reminds them that they don't have time to waste on grievances, and then Michael says "Since when do we get what we deserve?" And looks them both in the eye. Then, they go to Purgatory.
What happens in The Trap, for me, is that Dean, thinking he has lost Cas, looks into his own heart knows that his anger kept them apart, and he gives Cas grace and forgivenes, because he loves Cas too much not to and it doesn't matter if Dean has a right to his anger, or what anyone deserves, because the apology is to satisfy his own soul, and his own need to be better. I don't think it matters who is right and who is wrong. I think they are both right, and they are both wrong. Cas did apologise, and Dean was too angry to let him, Cas coming back to bear that anger and help is a capitulation and an effort to do what is right.
I love that Dean forgives Cas before Cas can earn it with his 'win', and don't think it's a matter of anyone deserving anything. Dean's very nature is love and goodness, and the constant striving to act on it; his anger works against those things. There is no basis for them to talk about what ails them if he can't let it go. Dean knows it's doing him damage, and he apologises for it. His conscience demands it, and grace cannot be a thing that is owed.
I love that scene, I love that Jensen acts his heart out in that scene, and I think that scene is about Dean's heart, and not about anyone's culpability. Both of them are so broken down by their losses and have such brutal histories of trauma, and that's why they are both falling back on habits that don't serve them. Cas came back, Dean gave up his anger. Do the problems still exist? Absolutely. But nothing is served by being apart and angry.
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antlertree ¡ 11 days ago
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a list of sastiel significant episodes in supernatural
every episode that sam and castiel interact in (+ a FEW mentions) this literally has no purpose i just made it cause like why not
season 4
4x07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester
4x10 Heaven and Hell
4x16 On the Head of a Pin
4x21 When the Levee Breaks
season 5
5x01 Sympathy for the Devil
5x06 I believe the Children Are Our Future
5x10 Abandon All Hope…
5x13 The Song Remains the Same
5x14 My Bloody Valentine
5x16 Dark Side of the Moon
5x17 99 Problems
5x18 Point of No Return
5x21 Two Minutes to Midnight
5x22 Swan Song
season 6
6x03 The Third Man
6x07 Family Matters
6x10 Caged Heat
6x11 Appointment in Samarra
(balthazar refers to castiel as sam’s boyfriend. so)
6x12 Like A Virgin
6x15 The French Mistake
6x17 My Heart Will Go On
6x18 Frontierland
6x19 Mommy Dearest
6x20 The Man Who Would Be King
6x21 Let It Bleed
6x22 The Man Who Knew Too Much
season 7
7x01 Meet the New Boss
7x17 The Born-Again Identity
7x21 Reading is Fundamental
7x23 Survival of the Fittest
season 8
8x07 A Little Slice of Kevin
8x08 Hunteri Heroici
8x10 Torn and Frayed
8x17 Goodbye, Stranger
8x21 The Great Escapist
8x22 Clip Show
8x23 Sacrifice
season 9
9x03 I’m No Angel
9x09 Holy Terror
9x10 Road Trip
9x11 First Born
9x18 Meta Fiction
9x21 King of the Damned
9x22 Stairway to Heaven
9x23 Do You Believe in Miracles
season 10
10x01 Black
10x02 Reichenbach
10x03 Soul Survivor
10x05 Fan Fiction
(sam literally mentioning “sastiel”)
10x09 The Things We Left Behind
10x10 The Hunter Games
10x14 The Executioner’s Song
10x17 Inside Man
10x18 Book of the Damned
10x20 Angel Heart
10x21 Dark Dynasty
10x22 The Prisoner
10x23 Brother’s Keeper
season 11
11x01 Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire
11x03 The Bad Seed
11x04 Baby
11x06 Our Little World
11x10 The Devil in the Details
11x14 The Vessel
11x18 Hell’s Angel
(any other episodes i missed are because it’s only lucifer/casifier)
season 12
12x02 Mamma Mia
12x03 The Foundry
12x07 Rock Never Dies
12x08 LOTUS
12x09 First Blood
12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets
12x12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)
12x19 The Future
12x23 All Along the Watchtower
season 13
13x01 Lost and Found
13x05 Advanced Thanatology
13x06 Tombstone
13x07 War of the Worlds
13x13 Devil’s Bargain
13x14 Good Intentions
13x16 Scoobynatural
13x18 Bring ‘em Back Alive
13x19 Funeralia
13x21 Beat the Devil
13x22 Exodus
13x23 Let the Good Times Roll
season 14
14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land
14x02 Gods and Monsters
14x03 The Scar
14x07 Unhuman Nature
14x08 Byzantium
14x09 The Spear
14x10 Nihilism
14x12 Prophet and Loss
14x13 Lebanon
14x14 Ouroboros
14x15 Piece of Mind
14x18 Absence
14x19 Jack in the Box
14x20 Moriah
season 15
15x01 Back to the Future
15x02 Raising Hell
15x03 The Rupture
15x05 Proverbs 17:3
(sam texting cas)
15x07 Last Call
15x08 Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven
15x09 The Trap
15x11 The Gamblers
15x12 Galaxy Brain
15x13 Destiny’s Child
15x15 Gimme Shelter
15x17 Unity
15x18 Despair
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turtles-invoked ¡ 3 days ago
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“How come you can’t fly?” Jack asks Castiel randomly one afternoon. Him, Jack, Dean, and Sam sit at the long table in the library, the brothers sharing a beer, Jack and Cas just happy to be in their company.
Well, maybe it wasn’t as random as it seemed. Jack was curious about The Apocalypse after Dean’s possession. They explained it all in as much detail as they could, Sam even offering as much as loosing his soul and how that affected him, and then how it affected Cas. Which lead to the Leviathan’s and then somehow they ended up talking about their time in Purgatory which naturally lead to Naomi’s control over Cas and then Metatron’s betrayal which leaves them where they’re up to now at the Great Fall… at least that’s what they’ve been calling it.
All eyes turn to Cas. The conversation comes to a halt at the somewhat intrusive question. An uncomfortable, bubbling feeling begins to roll and churn in his stomach as his face begins to heat up.
He opens his mouth to start explaining but Sam had begun to answer for him, “because he fell with the angels.” He says it as if it was obvious, but when he looks around and takes in Dean’s frown and Cas’ squinted eyes and slight head tilt to the left he starts to doubt himself, “…right?”
Cas completely forgot that Sam was particularly unwell at the time of the Great Fall. No one ever spoke about his lack of wings after he became human and they were a little busy when Cas finally got what little of his Grace was left. Of course Sam wouldn’t know. Dean doesn’t even know it all, so how would Sam?
“No… I uh…” Cas started and looked around at all the faces watching him; Sam’s confused frown, Jack’s intrigued yet a little wary squint, and Dean’s sympathetic eyes.
“When I gave Metatron my grace…” he starts slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat, “naturally, I lost all of my powers, including my wings…”
“But you got it back?” Jack asks, still confused.
“Not all of it. What was left after the spell wasn’t enough to heal my body immediately.”
“But you said over time it will regenerate,” Jack argues.
“Correct, and it has, but-”
“Then you should be able to fly,” he says hopefully.
Cas shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat. Jack was looking so hopeful at him that it almost felt worse to crush that than it did to admit what really happened.
“Theoretically, yes…” he starts and spares a glance at Dean. The brothers hadn’t said anything more since Cas begun his story and it unnerved him a little.
“Since I never technically fell with the rest of the angels, my Grace should have healed them… but there is more to it than that.”
“Wait a second-” Sam cuts in leaning forward in his seat, “you didn’t fall with the angels?”
“No, at the time I was already human.”
Sam looks at him as if he’s trying to piece together everything but nothing quite makes sense.
Jack interjects this time, frowning as he asks, “you gave Metatron your grace?”
“He was played,” Dean says simply, a tinge of frustration in his tone.
Cas sighs in agreement, “while Sam was attempting to close the gates of Hell, I thought I was sealing Heaven…”
“You were going to lock all the angels away? Including you?” Jack interjects again.
This time Cas’ eyes snap to Dean who was staring straight at him. His expression remained stoic and neutral but his eyes were a little bit wider, more attentive, desperate for the answer too. Of course he wasn’t going to leave Dean, but they had never had a chance to have that conversation.
“No,” Cas says sincerely, then turns his attention back to Jack, “No, I was- am unwelcome in Heaven. Though, I would have stayed on Earth regardless.”
“Jack, we’re getting off track,” Sam points out waving his hands to backtrack to the original plot.
“Right, yes. I was tracking Metatron when a couple of his followers found me. I was captured an-”
“Alone?” Jacks asks surprised.
“Yes.”
“As a human?”
“No. No we found Metatron previously and captured him, however, he knew where the rest of my grace was. I was… dying… and at the time Metatron was cuffed… we didn’t- I didn’t think he could escape. He was weak but he did, and I was trying to… find him when some of his very few remaining loyalties found me. I was still weak…” he trails off becoming nervous again.
“Wait- you had Metatron, but you let him go so you could get your grace back!?” Sam asks incredulously.
Dean slaps his arm to shut him up, but Cas can feel the frustrated anger in Sam’s stare.
“For what it’s worth, I did not agree. It was Hannah who insisted. I assumed wrongly that the cuffs could contain him,” Cas feels his face flush with frustration. He was starting to lose track of his story with all the interruptions and emotions beginning to swell in his chest.
“All of this could have been avoided!” Sam exclaims.
“Yeah, and Cas would be dead!” Dean interjects for the first time since Cas started talking.
“I would not have survived much longer without it, I am sorry to disappoint,” he replies curtly and returns his attention to Jack’s big pleading eyes.
“What happened when they found you?” Jack asks softly.
“He…” Cas swallows the lump in his throat before he continues, “… he bound and tortured me…” he looked at his intertwined hands, talking to the table. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, could feel the thumping in his ears as the blood rushed through his body, the embarrassment working its way through his veins.
“He cut into me with my own angel blade, but he soon realised I would not give up Sam and Dean very easily, so he…. Resorted to more… intense… measures…” Cas swallows again… his mouth beginning to dry, and his eyes burn ever so slightly. Visions of his shirt ripped opened and bloodied, flashed through his mind. He could feel the tight, pulling, bounding of his wrists as he was suspended from the ceiling, toes barely touching the ground; the stinging of each carve into his skin. He even remembers his relief when he thought they had given up, but the devastation as he realised what they had planned to do next.
“Cas, you don’t have to talk about it…” Dean says carefully.
Cas shakes his head to try and push the memories away, “I thought when they stopped they had given up. But how wrong was I…”
He shifts in his seat, leaning back so he’s not so hunched over, his hands now in his lap, still clenched together.
“They sliced down my back… extracted my wings and-” Cas inhaled shakily before blowing it out, the corners of his eyes beginning to prickle.
“We get it,” Dean says softly. Cas looks up and meets his eyes. Dean offers a sympathetic smile while Jack looks like he may pass out. His face has paled a little, mouth hung open in disbelief,’“I didn’t think that was possible…”
“It was… excruciating. Had Hannah not found me when she did…” Cas looks sheepishly to Dean, “I would not have lasted long at all…”
“It’s okay,” Dean says in that same gentle tone.
“Cas- I-” Sam was at a loss for words, “I had no idea.”
“Of course not,” Cas replies a little too short.
“Have you tried to heal them?” Jack says quietly.
Cas gives him a flat smile, “yes. As well as Hannah and Gabriel. It appears they are damaged beyond repair…”
“May I try?”
All Cas can do is shake his head.
“Please let me try, Cas?”
At the same time as Dean says, “that’s enough,” Cas pushes his chair out and mumbles an, “excuse me,” not looking back at the table as he exits the room and heads for his own.
He can hear Jack and Dean arguing lightly with each other, but he pays it no more attention than he does the tears welling up in his eyes. When he approaches his room he shuts the door gently behind him and leans against it, sighing out deeply as the tears fall from his eyes freely.
He wipes them away and laughs to himself at his own humanity. ‘An angel crying,’ he thinks to himself. My, how far had he fallen indeed.
A knock at his door pulls him out of his self pity as well as a gentle soft call of his name, “Cas?” Cas could pick out Dean’s voice anywhere.
Cas wiped his face one more time before kicking off the door and opening it.
“You good?” Dean asks leaning against the frame.
Cas nods and tries to put on his best smile. But Dean raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest, looking straight through his facade.
Cas sighs and steps to the side to let him in, and shuts the door behind them.
He doesn’t have much in his room. His bed hasn’t been used in a couple of days, his few personal items are the books he’s snagged from the library to read while the boys sleep. Very bare compared to Dean’s.
Dean walks in and takes a seat at the edge of the bed facing Cas.
“Talk to me,” he says quietly, his hands folded between his legs.
Cas takes a seat next to Dean, hands clasped, and in his lap but he. Twiddles his thumbs, a nervous tick he developed as a human that he can’t get rid of of, “I-” but he doesn’t know what to say. Or where to start. Or how to explain it. Or if he even wants too. Because as soon as he starts to think about it again, the heaviness is back in his chest, and the warmth in his eyes returns, “-I can’t…”
He takes a moment to compose himself, to settle the heavy beating of his heart, and stares up at the ceiling. He takes a couple of breaths before looking over at Dean, his deep green eyes studying him, not judging, but observing, paying attention to every little move Cas makes. Cas looses his breath looking at him and how alluring his gaze is, so he focuses back on his hands and whispers, “I don’t believe this is something Jack can fix.”
“Why not let him try?”
“Would I be of more use to you if he succeeded?” Cas snaps before he could think and looks over to Dean again. The hurt in his eyes not gone unnoticed, but the pending answer in them tugged on his heart.
“It’s not about you being useful. It’s about you being you,” he replies in his defensive tone.
Cas sighs and looks back down to his hands. When he first lost his ability to fly it felt a lot like imprisonment. Human transportation is slow and tedious. Dean’s music and rambling did pass the time rather pleasantly, and he will admit that he does like his off key singing, enjoys it even, however it was no comparison to being able to “zap” places in a matter of milliseconds. The freedom to go anywhere in the universe at anytime whenever he wanted. Even after all these years, driving still makes him feel claustrophobic at times, something that will still probably take a while to get used to.
“Cas, you got to know you’re not here to be useful right?” Cas looks back up at him. The frown set in his brows mimicing the slight tinge of panic and worry in his voice.
Cas squints his eyes and frowns a little himself, “Of course I do,” and looks back down at his lap, “that was unfair of me to say, I apologise.”
“Good,” Dean says rather shortly.
“Besides,” Dean starts again, bumping their shoulders together, “I hated being zapped places anyways.”
Cas chuckles a little at his response, remembering Dean’s complaints of not being able to poop after they travelled together, or the uneasiness he felt in his stomach, or the one time his ear didn’t stop ringing for a whole day. Humans weren’t really designed for teleportation. But still, the weight of what he’s lost weighs heavily on his heart and mind. Always there in amongst the background noise. Deep down he knows he’s not kept around to be useful, but the guilt still lingers in the space between them whenever they have a long drive ahead, or rare ingredients to find for whatever spell they need.
“I’m sorry, Dean.”
“What for?”
“For telling Metatron where to find you and Sam…”
“But you didn’t…”
Cas turns to him then, “but I would have. I almost had. And for that, I am sorry.”
“Cas-”
“No Dean. I think about that moment all too often. The pain is something I will never forget, but I would have never forgiven myself had something happened to you because of my wrong doings… again.”
Dean didn’t try to protest again. Instead he places his hand over Cas’. It wasn’t until then he realises how tightly he had clenched them together. He allowed himself to relax a little, the warmth and slight clamminess of Dean’s touch grounding him.
“Can I see?” Deans voice, barely above a whisper, breaks through their silence.
“What?” Cas asks, more shocked that Dean would even want to see his broken wings than he is that he asked at all.
A blush fills Dean’s face faintly as he pulls his hand away but in spite of his obvious embarrassment he asks again, “can I see them?”
“I… it’s- they’re not… visually appealing…” he says, trying to swallow the dryness in his throat, “I don’t think you’ll be able to see them anyway…”
“So?” Dean asks, pleading green eyes begging Cas to fulfil his request.
Cas’s heart beat heavier and faster in his chest, his stomach turned a little making him feel slightly nauseated but he stood before he could talk himself out of it, because how could he deny Dean anything?
“Fine, but not here. I need more space…” and leads the way out of his room and down the hallway towards the garage.
“More space…?” He hears Dean mumble behind him.
Sam and Jack were no longer in the common areas, and for that he was thankful. Between Jack’s sympathetic need to help, and Sam’s guilt filled eyes, he’d rather not have to face either of them.
Cas opens the door to the garage and lets Dean in first. As he closes the door after him as Dean turns the lights on, but Cas immediately turns them back off, plunging the room into complete darkness, “dude?”
“No lights,” Cas says walking passed Dean towards the impala.
“Then how will you even se-”
Dean stops abruptly as Cas turns the headlights of the impala on, plunging the room into a soft yellow glow. He turns around to face him, still standing at the door.
Dean, after a moment of adjustment, makes his way over with a confused frown on his face, “oh, yeah, sure, we can’t use the free electricity, but yeah, let’s drain baby’s battery,” he mumbles under his breath, but Cas can hear it regardless of his volume.
“Humans cannot perceive an angels true form, as you already know, but you can see the shadows…” he starts, shrugging off his trench coat, folding it neatly and places it on the hood of the car.
“Shadows?” Dean asks, arms crossed while he watches Cas. He shrugs off his suit jacket and ignores the fluttering in his stomach as Dean’s eyes track his every move.
“Yes, Dean, you will only be able to see the shadows they create, not how they actually look,” he folds the jacket up neatly too and starts undoing his tie.
“Wait, Cas, hang on,” Dean says now standing in front of him, “are you-? I was asking about your scars…”
Cas freezes, stomach dropping, his fingers still on the knot of his tie, and looks into Dean’s eyes. A wave of embarrassment floods through him and warms his face and chest, definitely reddening.
“You were willing to show me your wings?” He asks incredulously, as if it’s the most sacred thing that Cas could do for him. And it kind of is. Exposing himself this willingly, and openly, is kind of intimate. He has never voluntarily showed anyone or any angel his wings without the intent of intimidating them. He imagines this is how humans would feel when they are perceived completely naked for the first time, excited but terrified all at once.
“I-” he tries to speak but his voice cracks, stopping him. How could he not have understood what Dean was asking of him? Does Dean even realise how profound it is for him to show him his wings? Would he even appreciate the weight of such an act?
“Cas,” he says breathlessly and my goodness does Cas love the way his name sounds that way, “Isn’t this… a big deal?”
Cas swallows the lump in his throat and continues undoing his tie, more so as something for his hands to do instead of standing still and awkward, “…yeah.” He says pulling the fabric from around his neck and rolls it up in his hands.
“You… are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to do this…” Dean says taking the tie out of his hands and leaning into his line of sight to catch his eyes.
Cas takes a breath and looks Dean up and down, “I trust you,” he says slowly and takes the folded tie back from Dean and places it with his other clothes, beginning to undo the buttons to his shirt.
He untucks the fabric from his pants to reach the last button and shrugs himself out of the sleeves, catching the way Dean averts his gaze when he notices Cas looking at him.
A slight flush fills Dean’s cheeks as he awkwardly runs his fingers through his hair and down to the back of his neck, “well… what do you need?”
Cas grabs him by the elbow and pulls Dean along to the front of the car, standing back to the hood between the headlights, “your patience.” Is all he says as he turns to walk towards the empty wall a few meters in front of the car, but Dean grabs a hold of his arm before he could walk away.
“Jesus, Cas,” is all he says and Cas can’t help but tense, knowing he’s looking at the pair of pink parallel scars that run down from just below his shoulder to half way down his back. From what Cas could see by looking in the bathroom mirror, they’re thick and viscous, and were nearly impossible to heal due to the angelicness of the wound.
Dean drops his grip on him and Cas takes it as his cue to continue on, so he does, ignoring the heat in his face and tingling where Dean held him.
He stands about a meter in front of the wall, just enough space for the shadows to appear higher than his body so Dean could actually see them, and kneels to the ground. He sits on his feet and place his hands on his thighs and hangs his head low, he doesn’t want to see the look on Dean’s face when he realises just how broken he really is.
So he closes his eyes and relaxes his upper body and summons his grace. He takes a moment to prepare himself before imagining his wings unfolding and extending wide, like a big stretch first thing in the morning.
His left wing opens easily, smoothly and wide. His right, however, cracks a little like the popping of the knuckles in his fingers, and pinches at the joint before expanding out. Cas only winces slightly as a shock of pain runs down the bone and into his shoulder blade as he stretches it out for the first time in months. A wave of instant relief washes over him as he lengthens them both wide and high and displays them for Dean.
A gasp in front of him has him squeezing his eyes shut and his stomach stirring. He knows they’re not pretty to look at. His right has no feathers left, just soft fur like skin covering the bone. It’s bent in the middle where the bone was forcefully snapped, and a couple of inches shorter at the end where Metatron’s followers had begun to amputate it. His left one, however, has a couple of feathers that have slowly begun to grow back along the tip of his wing, some long, some very short and some of them fluffy. Most of them fall out after a few weeks of growth, keeping their length short. Some have fallen out now as he’s opened them up, the floor to his left littered with white gold specs of a fur like substance, almost like dust, in the reflection of the lights.
The burning returns behind his eyelids and his heart stutters in his chest. Time feels like it moves far too slow as Cas kneels on the ground before Dean, as bare as an angel can be before a human. He keeps his head low and his eyes clenched until Dean whispers, “Castiel,” into the thickness of the air between them.
He can’t help but look up at Dean through his tear filled eyes at the echo of his full name on Dean’s lips. A name he hasn’t heard Dean call him since the angels fell. A name that, he’s been called for centuries, all of a sudden sounds foreign to his own ears.
But Dean’s eyes don’t meet his, they dart from his left to his right, taking in what little of his true from he can see. Wide, and curious, and beautiful green eyes sparkling in the refraction of light coming from Castiel’s grace.
He bows his head again and mutters low on his breath, “I did say they are not pleasing to observe.”
“No,” Dean says earnestly. Cas doesn’t lift his head when he hears Dean’s boots on the floor treading closer his way. Not even as Dean kneels on the floor in front of him. But two hands cup his cheeks ever so gently, as if he were made of glass, and slowly lifts his head up to meet his gaze. This close, Cas can see the blue of his own eyes shining back at him through Dean’s, bright and blue and…
“No, they’re beautiful,” Dean declares breathlessly.
Cas’s mouth opens slightly in astonishment as his eyes well up and his vision blurs softly.
“You’re beautiful,” Dean whispers as the tears fall silently from Cas’s eyes, down his cheeks, and into the palm of Dean Winchester’s hands, “thank you,” he adds and the admiration in Dean’s voice makes it harder for Cas to keep himself together, as a soft sob escapes his lips.
Dean wipes away his eyes with the pads of his thumb before pulling his hands away to rest on his own thighs and Cas looses his breath at the sight of the righteous man on his knees before him; open, and authentic, and nothing but the purest of intentions.
“Dean…” Cas starts but doesn’t know what to say, or how to express his gratitude.
Dean shakes his head, “no, Cas. You don’t have to say anything,” he says in a low hushed tone, his eyes flicking back up to the broken one.
“…Does it… hurt?” He asks timidly.
Cas nods slowly, “A little…”
Dean nods at that and squints at the shadow, brows deepening ever so slightly.
“What is it?” Cas asks tilting his head to the side, trying to get a better read on him.
“No-nothing. I- I can kinda see ‘em,” he stutters still squinting.
Cas squirms a little under the scrutiny, “how do you mean…?”
“There’s a…” he pauses, perhaps trying to find the right words, “A-a shimmer? I guess? Kinda like.. looking through water…” he says pinching his eyes as if focusing too hard put strain on them.
Cas couldn’t help but smile tenderly at the man before him. Very rare is it that a human can see an angels true form. Even a slight peak at such a being will burn the eyes right out of their socket, melting the surrounding tissue and vessels. He’s not sure whether it has to do with Dean being the chosen vessel himself, or their profound bond, but a part of him isn’t even surprised at all that Dean can see that much. He wonders if maybe he could perceive more…
“Try and touch them?” Cas suggests quietly.
Dean gapes at him, “what?”
Cas blushes and adverts his gaze down to his hands, “I don’t know if you can… but you may try.”
He chances a look back up to Dean’s face, staring mesmerised back at him, “You sure?”
Cas can only nod his encouragement. He watches Dean process his request, the way he licks his lips before gulping and taking a deep breath as he glances up at Cas’ unharmed wing. And then ever so slowly, almost like if he moved too fast he would scare Cas away, he reaches his hand up. Cas doesn’t think anything would happen, maybe a slight ripple in the current, or a slight rush of wind as he passes through the ‘shimmer’ but when Dean’s fingertips graze the surface of delicate skin, Cas gasps. Dean’s pulls his hand back suddenly and almost like an electric shock running through his body, Cas squints his eyes closed as the most intense wave of pleasure coursed a through him. He clenches his fist and squeezes his eyes shut, and steadies his breathing.
“Cas!” Dean calls out but to Cas it sounds distant and muffled. Dean calls for him again and Cas snaps his eyes open, Dean’s hand on his shoulder, the other on his knee. He hadn’t noticed he had put his hands on him, and now his face is mere inches from his, “hey, what the hell, man?”
“I don’t know,” he sighs shaky and a little panicked, “I didn’t think anything would happen,” he admits sheepishly.
“Are you okay?” Dean pulls himself back but his eyes don’t leave his face, worried for what might happen if he looks away.
“I’m fine. Are you alright?” Cas gives Dean a once over. He appears to be fine…
“Yeah, no, I’m good, I thought I hurt you…” he admits and Cas sighs in relief, glad no harm came to Dean.
“No, no it didn’t hurt…” he says, confused, remembering what he felt… “it was…” electric? Chilling? “…overwhelming…” he settles on.
Dean nods, still not entirely convinced.
“I would like for you to try again.”
“Oh- n-no, no way,” Dean says moving to stand, but Cas reaches out, his hand grabbing his thigh stopping him in his tracks, “Please,” but the sudden movement causes Cas’s wings to flow with the movement making him wince and grunt in pain, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth, at the ache running down the right side of his body.
“Cas-”
“I’m okay. I just moved to quick,” he says slowly pulling back, Dean still watching his every move.
“Cas I- I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You wont,” he says assuredly sitting back up straight.
Dean still looks unconvinced though, his brows frowned in a deep, worried, line, jaw clenched, eyes wide and watching, “stop me if I do.” It’s not a question, but a demand. He’s telling him to stop him, knowing that if he asks, Cas would probably let him go on even if it hurts. So Cas nods his agreement and braces himself, trying to keep his body relaxed, expecting the sensations this time to come.
He keeps his eyes opened this time as Dean’s hand reaches out, trembling ever so slightly, and pauses right before he makes contact. They lock eyes and Cas can see the anxiety, plain as day, in Dean’s. He gives him the smallest upturn of his lips, encouraging him as gently as he can to continue. He hears Dean suck in a breath before ever so slowly reaching forward again until his fingertips, in a feather like touch, graze Cas’s skin ever so lightly. A feeling, almost like a tickle, dances on the skin where his fingers sit before it bolts like a shiver down his spine, soft but intense, new, and unfamiliar.
Cas shudders at the feeling, as Dean applies more pressure, still soft, still gentle, and strokes up just a little. Cas can feel the feathers pull and turn under Dean’s fingertips and it sends an almost feverish feeling down his wing and into his chest. Cas can’t help but gasp at the same time Dean exhales a, “woah.” His eyes begin to prick in the corners, and his breathing picks up pace as his grace begins to quiver, a slight tremor forming throughout his body. He squeezes his eyes shut as to not blind Dean by the bright white light glowing from within them, as a faint running softly echoes throughout the garage.
Dean pulls his hand back nervously, “hey,” he says softly, “what’s happening?”
“Sorry,” Cas whispers, tensing, trying to regain control over his grace before his reaction accelerates further gaining the attention of the other occupants of the bunker. His fists clench hard against his thighs, the muscles in his arms so tense they feel like they’re burning. He tries to focus on breathing but his body feels heavy, almost like he’s being crushed. The air feels thick, as if he’s underwater, though he can feel his body shaking, struggling to contain him. He mutters a few words of Enochian low to himself repeatedly in an attempt ground himself, but it’s not until Dean’s hands, one on his right shoulder, another on his left thigh just above his knee squeeze him gently that he can feel his body calming down, relaxing once again.
“Sorry,” Cas whispers again, his face warm and wet. He wipes at his cheek and looks at his hand, expecting a crimson streak of blood, but it’s just water, tears. He hadn’t even noticed he was crying… again. He had never done such a thing in front of Dean, or ever really, and now he’s up to number three for the day alone.
“What just happened?” Dean asks pulling back and giving Cas back his space.
Cas wipes his face dry and folds his wings back away, cringing again as his broken one collapses weakly into itself and tucks away. His timing couldn’t be more perfect, as the door to the garage swings open, and in storms Sam with an Angel Blade gripped firmly in his hand and Jack standing ready behind him, “what the hell was that?” He demands walking further into the garage, looking around. Cas’ stomach sinks with anxiety, and nervous disappointed that he had created enough of a disturbance to concern Sam and Jack.
Dean stands up then, leaving Cas still kneeling on the ground. He takes the opportunity to lean into his shadow, blocking the headlights from his view.
“Um… what’re you guys doing?” Jack asks curiously taking in the sight of a half naked kneeling Cas in front of Dean.
“Nothing,” Dean says in his usual gruff macho tone that implied ‘none of your damn business’ as he steps to the side to block the boy’s view of Cas.
Sam raises his eyebrows at the sight of them, and what a sight that must be. It doesn’t help that Cas is flushed and a little out of breath either…
“Are we interrupting sex?” Jack asks amusedly, and honestly, Cas can’t even blame him for coming to the conclusion. That doesn’t stop him from leaning from behind Dean’s stance to frown at the kid, squinting his eyes slightly as if to say, ‘why would you even ask such a thing.’
Sam scoffs as Dean chokes and sputters for a response other than a defensive, “No.”
“Then what are you doing?” Sam asks chuckling amusedly, the same smirk still plastered on his face as he watches Dean squirm under his gaze.
Dean stammers for a response, clearly uncomfortable sharing with Sam what they were actually doing. Cas takes the opportunity to slowly stand from his position on the floor, brushing off the dust and dirt from his hands onto his pants. He waves his hands over his knees and within a matter of seconds, his pants are clean again.
“An exercise in trust,” Cas says walking to meet Dean at the hood of the car, reaching around behind him for his shirt.
“And the sounds just now?” Sam asks, body language becoming defensive.
“Me,” is all Cas offers up, shrugging his shirt back on and begins buttoning it. It’s mundane tasks such as this when he’d rather participate in the experience of doing it himself rather than using his powers.
Sam scoffs at his response, looking away from him, towards Jack, and shakes his head, “fine. Yeah. Okay. Good. Well just… we’ll leave you to it…”
Cas only feels slightly bad as Sam gestures for Jack to follow him, exiting the garage.
Jack looks between Cas and Dean, and smiles cheekily before waving them goodbye and following Sam out of the room.
Dean sighs in relief beside him and turns to face Cas, running a hand through his hair, “jeez, did you have to be so short with him?” He walks over to the door, leaving Cas still buttoning his top, and flicks the overhead lights on.
“Would you rather I have told him what we were doing?” Cas asks, tucking in his shirt to his pants when Dean rejoins him and turns the Impala’s lights off. He did not answer him, though Cas knew that he wouldn’t when he asked it.
Instead he deflects, “can’t you just mojo yourself back into those,” he asks handing Cas his tie.
“Thank you. I prefer the manual labour,” he wraps the tie around his neck, only a little confused on which way it’s supposed to face before the knot is tied, deciding that he doesn’t really care which way it faces, before tucking one side over the other and looping it through.
Dean huffs, and Cas knows he’s watching him mess up the knot. Suddenly aware of the eyes on him, he looses his focus and decides to undo it and mojo it on later.
“Dude, give it here,” he offers and gently swats Cas’ hands out of the way. Cas looks down at Dean’s hands, watching as he carefully measures the length of the fabric, pulling the thicker side down much further than Cas had it before crisscrossing them.
He lifts his head, looking up at Dean then, giving him a little more room at the collar to work with. This close, he could see everything so clearly, so perfectly. How long and fine his eyelashes are, how they perfectly dust the tops of his cheekbones as he focuses on the task at hand. He could see all the different shades of green that made up the iris of Dean’s beautiful eyes. All of the individual hairs that built the perfect stubble across Dean’s jaw. The slight dryness of Dean’s lips and all the fine lines and wrinkles in them. He could practically count all the freckles that glitter Dean’s face. Of course he’s familiar with every single one of them, but it’s still beautiful to be able to carefully examine them this closely. Beautiful. Dean had called him that earlier. And it had made his heart yearn for more, more of Dean, more of their connection, just… more.
Dean clears his throat then and a light flush of pink begins to spread across his cheeks and nose, as he taps Cas’ chest, signifying that he was done. Cas blinks out of his little daze and lookes down at the perfectly tied knot, “thank you.”
Dean smiles a little awkwardly and chuckles nervously taking a couple of steps back to lean against the side of his car.
Cas finishes dressing himself, shrugging on his jacket, followed by his coat and tucking his hands in his pockets and joins Dean, leaning against the frame next to him.
“So uh….” Dean starts, and chuckles nervously, cutting himself off.
Castiel remains silent next to him, allowing him the space to find the words on his own.
“How… what was it like?”
Cas glances at Dean beside him, face flushed, arms folded, one leg crossed over the other. He doesn’t look at him, just stares down at the floor in front of them.
Cas smiles to himself and looks ahead, admiring the vintage cars in front of them, “good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Cas sighs. He could practically feel the relief rolling off of Dean.
“So the…” he trails off waving one of his hands in front of him. Cas frowns at his hand, not really sure what he’s asking him but patiently waits for him to continue.
“The shaking… and the ringing…?”
“Yes,” Cas says and nods, looking at the ground in front of him. He feels his face and chest warm as the feelings rush back through him momentarily.
“No one has ever touched them before. It was quite sensitive… overstimulating, if you will.”
“So not painful?”
“No, not at all. Just… overwhelming.”
“Good… that’s… that’s good.”
“It was.”
Silence falls between them, but neither of them move. From the corner of his eye, he watches as Dean looks around the garage, his eyes darting from one object to another, yet he makes no effort to move.
“Would you like some time alone?” He asks, not sure if he’s made Dean uncomfortable or not… He’s gotten pretty well at reading a situation but sometimes, in moments like these, he’s not sure what the appropriate social protocol is.
“No!” He says quickly followed by a nervous laugh, “ah… no. But I think I need to get out for a bit…” he admits pushing himself off the car.
“Come for a drive?” He says patting the roof of his car, leaving his arm resting along the frame, “she needs fuel, and we need snacks.”
Cas nods as Dean opens the door and folds himself in.
Cas takes a breath before pushing himself off and joining him in the vehicle as Dean turns the key and she rumbles to life.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and types away at it whilst the garage opens. Once she’s finished, his shoves his phone back in his pocket and explains, “let Sam know, just in case,” and they make their way through the tunnel, down a few side streets and onto the open road.
With the windows down, whatever tape in the deck turned down low, and the comfortable silence between them, Cas doesn’t feel so trapped. The wind in his face and through his hair feels rather nice, refreshing even, cool against his flushed skin.
Dean beside him looks much more relaxed too, although, he usually always did when they were on the road. His fingers tapping rhythmically against the steering wheel, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the door, half out the window. He looks at peace almost. And he drives like this the short distance to the fuel station.
Cas gets out of the car with Dean and leans against the side while Dean fills it, “I’m thinking jerky, popcorn, and pork rinds. What do you want?” Cas thinks about it for a moment… as a human he enjoyed the tastes of sweet foods, not the greesy stuff or salty stuff Dean liked. But now that he’s himself again, food doesn’t really taste the same… nor does it elicit the same emotional enjoyment… As a human he could ignore the individual molecules, but now it’s hard to get past it. However, their last movie night, the sweet popcorn Dean made him try was rather delicious.
“What was the popped corn we had when we watched the movie with the robots?”
Dean rolls his eyes at him and groans as he hangs the pup back up, “transformers, dude! And it was kettle korn, the caramel flavour I think. Is that what you want?”
“Please.”
They walk in together, Dean stuffing his arms with different flavoured jerkies and popcorn and chips. He makes Cas grab two soft drinks from the fridge and a no sugar flavoured water for Sam and at the counter he grabs a container of plum pie and a salad bowl.
Their items are handed back to them in one big bulging bag that thankfully doesn’t bust as they walk back to the car.
“Wait Cas, before we leave,” Dean stops him just before they part ways to get into the car.
Cas turns to him, curious, but a little worried seeing the frown on his face.
He digs through his pocket and dangles the keys between them, “I want you to drive.”
Cas’ mouth and stomach drops a little in surprise, his heart thumping away heavily in his chest. Dean barely lets Sam drive the impala, and now he’s handing him the keys.
“Dean,” Cas starts but he’s at a loss for words.
“Seriously. You shared something so… so big with me and I want to do the same for you,” his cheeks flush a soft shade of rosey pink at the admission and all Cas can do is stare at him gobsmacked.
“I mean… it’s not really the same thing… but this is all I have,” he says, beginning to backtrack, “and I trust you, too, Cas. I do. So please,” he jingles the keys and Cas reluctantly takes them.
“You don’t have to do this,” is all he says as Dean already walks to the passenger door.
Cas looks down at the silver keychain in his hand and looks back up at Dean who isn’t paying him any attention, or trying not to anyway. He nods to himself and takes his new place in the drivers seat, the weight of what this means to Dean not lost on him. Cas checks his mirrors, only having to adjust the rear view, and turns the key. The car rumbles to life once more, purring under Castiel’s hands. He grips the wheel tight and slowly rolls it out of the station, carful to angle it going down the drive so he doesn’t scrape it before slowly accelerating once on the road.
“You can loosen the death grip,” Dean chuckles from beside him.
Cas becomes aware of how tense he is and wipes his clammy hands, one by one, on his thighs. He adjust his grip and rolls his shoulder slightly, trying to loosen the anxiety in him.
“Sorry…”
“Why are you nervous?”
Cas glances over Dean’s way briefly, their eyes meeting for a slow second before he turns back to the road.
“I am not accustomed to driving and this is your prized possession,” he replies as if it answers all of Dean’s questions.
Dean chuckles softly again.
They pull at a red light and Cas is glad for the break. His hands had started to become sweaty and tight around the wheel again. He wipes them on his pants and returns them as the light flicks to green. As he takes off, a vehicle flies past in front of him, running the red. Cas gasps and slams on the breaks, Dean barely having enough time to brace himself against the dash as Cas narrowly stops in time before they are hit. Cas can’t move. There’s a vehicle behind him, honking, but Cas is struck still, his breathing heavy and hard in his lungs, body rigid.
“Cas, you gotta go buddy,” Dean says to him, but it’s muffled and distant. The car eventually drives around them, honking as they continue, but Cas still can’t move.
Dean gets out and walks around to his side, “shuffle over,” he says but Cas can’t move his hands from the wheel.
Dean reaches in front of him and puts it in park and nudges his shoulder, “move over,” he says again. He gently takes Cas’s hands off of the wheel which snaps Cas back into the moment. He clenches his fists a few times to loosen them up and slides into the passenger seat, his whole body hot and sweaty, uncomfortably so.
Dean drives them out of the intersection and pulls over after they’ve cleared it. He parks the car again and turns to Cas, one hand on his shoulder, the other still on the wheel, “we’re okay.”
Cas nods into his lap as the embarrassed tears well in his eyes.
“You’re okay,” he voices again.
Cas nods into his lap again as a hand gingerly cups his cheek, gently moving his head so he can look at him.
“You are okay.”
Cas takes in a deep breath then and blinks away the tears. He refuses to cry in front of Dean Winchester one more time today.
“You did everything right. I’m not mad. You saved us from a wreck. Okay?”
‘His first near miss,’ he thinks as he huffs out a breath.
“Okay?” Dean presses once more.
“Okay,” Cas whispers back.
“Do you want to keep driving?”
Cas immediately shakes his head, “no. No thank you.”
“That’s okay… but when you feel confident again, we can try again.”
“No thank you,” Cas says turning away to face the passenger window.
Dean squeezes Cas’s shoulder before he turns back in his own seat and pulls them back onto the road, “yes. I have rebuilt this thing from the ground up more times than I can count. That back there, not your fault. And even if that dick did hit us, yes I would be pissed, but not at you. And I would have fixed it, okay. There’s been nothing wrong with my baby that I haven’t been able to fix, okay. So yes, maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I want to share this with you, okay.”
Cas looks over at Dean then. The sincerity in his voice tugging on his heart.
“Please don’t let this discourage you,” he adds as they share a brief moment of eye contact. All Cas can do is watch Dean. He can’t speak, at a loss for words once more, so he just watches him. Watches his relaxed form even after their near miss, one hand on the wheel, and the other reaches over, palm down in front of Cas. He looks down at it confused but opens both of his anyway, not really sure what Dean’s looking for. Cas looks back over to him as Dean looks over at their hands quickly and takes Cas’ left hand in his, intertwining their fingers and holding on firmly. Cas does the same and he can’t help the small smile that tugs on his lips, a new heaviness swells in his chest.
They drive the rest of the way home like this, Dean only using one hand to park the car back in the garage, and Cas couldn’t help but be amazed at how easily Dean could reverse park one handed. Dean squeezes Cas’s hand as he turns the car off, but he doesn’t let go just yet.
“You sure you’re alright?”
Cas nods, his heart still beating erratically at their intertwined hold, although the feeling is nothing compared to what Dean does next. He squeezes Cas’s hand once more and lifts his hand to his lips. Cas gasps softly as Dean closes his eyes and places a gentle kiss on the back of Cas’s hand.
Dean chuckles nervously as he releases Cas’s hand, “I bet Sam’s waiting on us,” he says low and hushed, neither of them making an effort to move, Cas not wanting their time alone to come to an end. He did forget that it was Sam’s turn to pick what movie they were watching tonight. He never did find his choices interesting, but it would be worth it to spend the evening next to Dean.
They share one last sweet smile before Dean sighs, “come on,” and they join the boys who were already sat in the Dean cave, just about to start the movie without them. Jack on a beanbag to the left of the TV, Sam in the arm chair next to him, leaving Dean to sit in the other arm chair, and Cas takes residence with a pillow to sit on in front of Dean and between his legs. Sometime through the movie, Cas leans his head back against the seat, Dean’s hands running through his hair. He shuts his eyes, and focuses on the sensations, his breathing becoming even, and all thoughts pushed to the back of his brain. And though he may not technically be asleep, it’s as close to it as an angel could get, blessed to be at the hands of Dean Winchester.
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milliesfishes ¡ 6 months ago
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Girlll
I need a Coriolanus snow x wife reader when she heard her “ friends” talk about how boring and hard it would be to be married to a man like snow someone so cold, stonic and ruthless ( even though they are all so scared of him) and snow hears his wife talking about it ( more like crying ) to her personal maid and he gets soo soo mad about it and at the next gala or party he shows just how much he loves the reader and how Much of a doting husband he actually is and makes it his mission to make them all jealous of you :)))
౨ৎcoriolanus makes other people jealous of you౨ৎ fem reader x coriolanus snow
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He was devoted to you, mind body and soul.
You held his heart in your soft, lovely hands, and there wasn't a single breathing person he'd trust otherwise with it. There was only you. There would only ever be you.
Coriolanus hardly felt he could repay you for all you'd done, for all the good you brought into his life. But he did his absolute best with what he had, which was admittedly a lot.
As his wife, he had you spoiled despite your humble protests. He hadn't grown up with a lot, and so naturally he wanted to have everything now that he could. But not for himself. For you.
Truly his only desire was for your happiness. The rest of the world could hang; you were the only one deserving of any sort of goodness it had to offer.
It would have been foolish to believe himself a saint. He'd done a number of things no decent person should be proud of. The past had scars and brittle bones, which may have been a reason he was so determined to make such a future with you.
At the alter he'd promised himself to you in more ways than one. Looking down at you, radiant in your white dress, he vowed never to let you see misery. No, you would be adored, and only that.
The task had not proven difficult. You were so naturally good and kind that all who met you fell headfirst into devotion. It was impossible not to love you.
Or so he'd thought.
One evening as he was headed to your room, he stopped short at the door, the sounds of sniffling and broken words reaching his ears.
In a curious nature, he leaned closer. The door was slightly cracked open, so he could hear your words somewhat clearly.
"...saying such awful things about him," you said, tears choking your voice. "About how hard it would be to be his wife, about how I've let him coerce me into being his. They talked about how much he spoils me to make me stay." Someone said something muffled, and he knew you must be with your maid. You responded quietly. "At tea yesterday. I left for a moment and when I came back they were...that was what they were saying."
Coriolanus turned away as he grasped the situation. He should have known your kind nature would have made the heartless wives of other political allies jealous. Cold women who didn't understand pure goodness with no strings attached.
And now you were crying. Not even over what they'd said about you. It was about how they'd insulted him. His heart could have melted into a puddle. Your goodness knew no bounds.
They'd said spoiled like it was a bad thing. Like being his was a bad thing. Coriolanus loved spoiling you just as much as he loved that you were his. And the fact that there were people making you feel bad for it...no, that wouldn't do at all.
There was naught but one solution. He was already plotting what he'd do to render this. If there was anything Coriolanus had learned in his life, it was to bite back fast.
He made his way into your room after waiting for your maid to leave, not breathing a word of what he'd overheard. Still, he made sure to hold you extra tight that night, showering you in more kisses than usual.
The next day, he had his arm around you as he led you into the best boutique in the city. It was a spacious, shiny building, and very exclusive from what you'd been told. You were fretting excitedly the whole way there. "Oh, you are good to me darling."
Chuckling at your sweet nature, he guided you inside carefully, noting the groups of women convened there already, eyes on you being led around by him. Perfect. It seemed he'd chosen correctly.
"Oh I'm very good to you," he teased lightly, squeezing his hand on her waist. The two of you were drawing quite a few looks from the other customers, and he reveled in the attention.
In your innocent way, you had no idea what he was doing. All you knew was that he was taking you out so you could get something pretty. And he was going to keep it that way.
"Here is good," Coriolanus said matter-of-factly, tugging you over to a rack of dresses. His hand stayed on your hip as you went through them, studying each one eagerly.
You looked up at him. "What colors do you like me in? I want to get something you'd want to see me wear."
Humming in thought, pleased that you wanted to make him happy, Coriolanus studied the dresses in front of you. "I think you look lovely in red, darling." He touched the fabric of a deep red.
"But red's your color, isn't it?" you asked sweetly.
"My family's color yes," he gave your temple a kiss for remembering. "But you're my wife. My family now. And besides, you look divine in it, like a rose."
He pulled the dress off the rack, and you smiled as he held it up to you in the full-length mirror to the side. "It is rather pretty."
"Just like the blood red we got you before, don't you think?" he was talking slightly louder than usual on purpose, and he could almost hear everyone listening.
You went to try it on, and when you came out, a smile broadened his features. The dress fit you perfectly, showing off your figure so nicely that he nearly couldn't control the desires of his heart.
"Oh, darling," he cooed approvingly, lifting your hand and twirling you once. "You look perfect."
Your smile was bright, and you bounced slightly on your heels. "I love it."
Anyone with eyes could see how magnificent you were. He smugly turned his head, noticing the looks of pure, rotten jealousy making home on the faces of the other women in the boutique. Looking back at you, he smoothed his hands over your hips. "You need the dress, darling. I insist."
"Do I?" you smiled softly and he rubbed his fingers on your sides.
"I won't allow you to leave without it." He turned you to look at yourself in the mirror. "Absolutely stunning."
Once you went to change, Coriolanus was already scheming about what else he could do to show you off. Glancing at the shop clerk, he beckoned her over with a single wave of his hand.
You tried on a multitude of dresses, each more beautiful than the last. Every one of them only accentuated your body and enhanced your beauty. He paraded you in front of the mirror, satisfied by the dirty looks the other women were shooting you. They could glare all they wanted, but at the end of the day they wouldn't have what you did.
And that was him, standing behind you and helping you with zippers and buttons, telling you how lovely you looked. Who's difficult to be married to, again?
When you were finished with the dresses you exited the fitting room and flung your arms around him, your face buried in his neck. "Coryo, you're so good to me, truly."
Merely chuckling, he wrapped his arms around your waist, rocking you back and forth slightly. "Oh, I'm not done yet, sweetheart."
"Now what on earth are you talking about?" you smiled, peering up at him.
"Well," he mused. "You're going to need jewelry to match all of these dresses. Can't pair a brand new dress with old jewelry, can you?"
"Coryo," you said in a fondly exasperated way. "You don't have to do that."
"Nonsense." Coriolanus ushered you over to the jewelry counter. "Pretty new dresses need pretty new jewelry to match. And matching shoes, hm?"
Shaking your head in bewilderment, your smile couldn't be contained as he nodded at the cases of necklaces in front of you. "Find something you like, darling."
Bashfully, you picked out a few things, and he nodded approvingly at your choices. After he'd paid, he caught you looking at a pearl necklace and smiled. "You want that one too?"
"I have enough," you said, beaming up at him.
Humming, his eyes flickered back to the pearls. "You're so sweet to worry about that, but I assure you there's no need." He motioned to the sales clerk, who lifted the necklace out and handed it to him.
Pushing your hair over one shoulder, Coriolanus fastened the necklace so it laid delicately on your collarbone. He loved how happy you looked, how nicely the pearls sat against your skin. "There, look how pretty," he cooed, gathering your hair and smoothing it back. He could tell by your face that you loved it.
You leaned back into him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pressing a kiss into your hair. "You know I'll give you whatever you want?"
"Mhm," you nodded, leaning back and catching his lips in a soft kiss. "I'm very well kept."
He breathed a laugh, sliding his hand over your hip and bringing you to the shoes, where he insisted you pick out several pairs. It was hard not to openly gloat at the looks on the faces of the women nearby.
In all honesty, Coriolanus didn't know who you'd gone to tea with yesterday, but he supposed it didn't matter. Whoever it was had caused the entire group to suffer if he had anything to do with it.
Looking at the mountain of shopping bags, you met his eyes in disbelief. "I don't know how we'll get it all home."
"We'll manage." He kissed your forehead. "One trip to the car, and you won't be holding a thing."
You turned to see that the store assistants had carried everything out already. "Well now they haven't left anything for you to carry."
"Well, I've got something more important to carry." In an instant, Coriolanus scooped you up, hoisting you into his arms much to your delight.
You giggled, your hands clasping behind his neck. "Coryo."
"My wife shouldn't have to walk anywhere," he declared, maneuvering you down the steps and into the car. "Not while I'm here." He set you on the seat and got in next to you, pressing two smooth kisses to your cheek.
It was far from the end. When the next gala came around, he had you proudly on his arm, looking angelic in the red dress he'd picked out for you.
Oh, the envy that surrounded the two of you. He could have drunk it like water. Your eyes were bright, your smile radiant. There was no better woman to have on his arm.
His darling wife. If anybody was foolish enough not to love you, you would be envied.
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queen-of-deans-booty ¡ 26 days ago
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FFF
Pairing: Castiel x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.7k (lyrics included)
Warnings: fluff
Summary: Sam and Dean introduce you to their angelic friend, Castiel, and you are immediately enthralled by him. Instead of jumping into something with him, you two take it slow and let the relationship flourish naturally.
Square Filled: FFF by Zara Larsson (2023) for @heavenandhellbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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Hunting is something you try to stay out of. It’s not that you don’t think you have the chops to be a hunter, you just don’t want to be one. You’ve never seen the appeal of being one but you admire Sam and Dean for being one. You met them while they were on a hunt. A ghost murdered your coworker and they interviewed you. They seemed like genuine FBI agents until you saw them leave your coworker’s house covered in blood.
You kept in touch with them over the years and now you’re good friends with them.
They invited you to the Bunker to hang out so that’s where you’re heading. You’re in town for something unrelated so it’s nice to see the brothers. You don’t visit the Bunker often so you jump at the chance to when they want you to come. 
Despite their lifestyle, the Bunker is one of the coolest things you’ve ever seen.
When you get there, you knock on the metal door twice. Sam opens it and smiles widely when he sees you.
“Y/N! Welcome!” He pulls you in for a soul-crushing hug. “We just got started.”
“Cool. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Oh, yeah. Hey, we invited one of our other friends. His name is Cas. He’s an angel.”
“A what?” you ask, flabbergasted. 
As much as you try to stay out of their business, you can’t help but read about the different types of monsters they deal with. Still, you’d never thought angels were real. Maybe in fiction but never in real life.
“An angel,” Sam chuckles.
“Okay.”
You walk down the metal stairs and greet Dean who has a beer in hand.
“It’s good to see you, Y/N.”
“You, too. So, where is this elusive angel that I never knew existed?”
“Right here.” Dean steps off to the side and you look at the angel in a trenchcoat. “My name is Castiel but you may use the shortened version of my name that the brothers are so fond of using.”
“Right. For an angel of God, you’re… normal.”
“My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler building.”
“Good to know,” you nod.
Not only are you starstruck by the angel, you think he’s adorable. If he’s going to be here, you’re definitely going to make an effort to visit more often.
Unusual, we got mutual friends Is it mutual if I kiss your lips? If I'm truthful, then it all depends on your feelings Crucial, how I'm leanin' in 'Cause I'm used to just divin' in I could lose you, that's the consequence of my feelings
Sam and Dean are currently on a hunt hallways across the country where there isn’t great internet service. They don’t know what they’re hunting so they asked you if you could do some research from the Bunker. You’re no hunter but you don’t mind helping them like this. You’re out of danger and safe inside the most secure place in the world against monsters.
Plus, Castiel is here, too. That’s always a plus.
It’s been a few months since you two met and you’ve been coming over every chance you get just to be with him.
Just so you’re not sitting in silence, you hooked up your Bluetooth speaker to your phone so that you can listen to music while you read through the many lore books. You and Castiel are sitting right next to each other; he’s so close that you can feel the heat radiating off him. It’s nearing winter so it’s getting colder outside, but Castiel is a radiator.
“Did you find anything?” you ask him.
“Not yet. Did you?”
“Nope.”
You flip through the book, half-paying attention to the word and half-paying attention to how close Castiel is. The song changes to a romantic tune, and you look up at Castiel who is already staring at you. You briefly look at his chapped lips that also somehow look soft, and you find yourself leaning in.
No! You stop yourself from potentially making a mistake. You’re known to jump into relationships and stay in the fast lane. It’s why you’ve never had a steady relationship with any of your exes. Castiel deserves better. He deserves more. You really like him and you can’t afford to lose him so you can’t be yourself.
You need to change and it starts with him.
Is there a spark for us Or is it just purely platonic? Is this a story arc? 'Cause if it are, it'd be iconic I wasn't gonna ask Afraid of asking you to dance
The best thing about winter is the frozen lakes. You love ice skating but you’re not very good at it. Growing up, you lived in a warmer climate that didn’t get cold enough for any water to freeze, so you took to the activity later in life.
You and Castiel have been hanging out more and more without Sam and Dean around. He might be an angel that will outlive you, but you’re falling for him every day that you’re with him. There’s something so pure about him. He hasn’t been tainted by humanity long enough to see the bad in life. He still believes that people do good simply because it’s right. It’s honestly refreshing to be around someone who still thinks that way.
“Have you ever ice skated?” you ask as you pull your skates on.
“No. I’m sure I can pick it up.”
“Yeah, just wait until you get on the ice.” You step onto the frozen lake and almost fall from being unbalanced. Castiel jumps up and grabs your waist to steady you, and you try to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks. “Thanks.”
“Please be careful.”
Castiel steps onto the ice and skates as if he’s a professional. You watch him with a parted mouth.
“How in the hell are you doing that?”
“It’s simply a balancing act.”
“Right.”
You skate but find that your feet move apart when you do. You struggle to stay upright, and Castiel stays near you to catch you if you fall. Most people wouldn’t find this enjoyable but you’re with Castiel so it makes it better. Plus, if you fall, you know he’ll catch you.
“Here, grab my hand.”
You bite back a smile and grab his warm hand. He skates next to you effortlessly, and you cling to his side to keep some sort of balance.
“Do you normally excel at things you’ve never done before?”
“Generally, yes.”
You laugh and continue to skate with him in the freezing cold. You try to turn but end up tripping over your own feet and crashing into Castiel. He is taken off guard so he falls to the ice with you on top of him. Suddenly, you start laughing either out of embarrassment or at the thought of why you decided to do this with him when you know you’re shit at it.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”
“No.”
You put your hand on his chest to hold yourself up, and you suddenly realize how close you two are. Your breath mixes with his in the cold, but neither of you moves from each other. You’re so close that you can close the few-inch gap and kiss him.
“Your nose and cheeks are red,” he says.
“It’s cold outside. Aren’t you cold?”
“I’m an angel. I don’t feel the cold.”
“Lucky you, then.”
Castiel moves you off him with ease and helps you stand. He brings you back to the snow where you can stand comfortably and removes his trenchcoat. Without saying anything, he wraps the coat around you, enveloping you in his warmth.
The blush on your cheeks isn’t from the cold anymore.
Falling for a friend Falling for a friend, ooh Baby, don't pretend That you don't feel it too I know you do
Castiel is truly someone special because you’re walking from your hotel in the freezing ass cold and the snow to get to the Bunker. You have a rental car but there is no use in driving it because the roads aren’t safe for cars. Still, that’s not going to stop you from getting to the bunker where Castiel is.
The picnic basket in your hand is sealed tightly to keep the snow from entering it but everything else on you is covered with snow. Kansas winters are brutal. Three miles normally doesn’t seem like a lot but trekking in twelve inches of snow makes three miles feel like thirty.
When you get to the Bunker, you shake off the snow as best as possible before knocking on the metal door. Pain erupts from your knuckles from how cold you are but your hand is numb so you don’t feel it as much as you should have.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” Dean asks when he opens the door.
“I wanted to say hi. Can I come in?”
“Shit, yeah.” He steps to the side and allows you to walk inside. You’re thrust into a warm environment that you’re already starting to defrost. You walk into the library to see Castiel sitting at the table. “What’s in the basket?”
“Just some food. I figure you two are hungry.”
“I don’t eat.”
“I always am,” Dean says at the same time as Castiel.
“Okay, well, here.”
Dean takes the basket with a smile and disappears into the kitchen. Castiel frowns when he sees you shivering from the after-effects of the cold. He can even feel how cold you are from where you stand.
“Come here.” You walk over to Castiel, not expecting him to pull you into his lap. He lifts your hands to his mouth and blows hot air on them, the warmth of it kissing away the numbing from the frostbite. “Baby, you’re freezing.”
Baby? His raspy voice? That’s enough to spring butterflies to life in your stomach. He’s never called you that before. The butterflies intensify when he opens his trenchcoat, wrapping you close to his chest. He leans down and kisses your cold cheek, and warmth blooms from the contact.
You look up at him and he softly traces your bottom lip with his finger, and you part your lips instinctively.
“I really want to kiss you,” he whispers.
You don’t say anything back, You close the gap between you and kiss him softly. His lips may look chapped but they are super soft. His grace dances across your body, warming you up.
You’ve definitely fallen for a friend.
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indubioprocoffee ¡ 3 months ago
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“Sometimes I wonder …” Dean whispered into the quiet, his head lying on Cas’ lap. Cas’ fingers absently running through his hair, gently caressing his scalp.
“What?”, Cas asked equally quiet.
“I wonder … You know … the job isn’t an easy one, I have suffered so many injuries over the years. But thank – well not God – obviously – but, the magic healing came in handy so many times, leaving no scars. But … sometimes I wonder, what my body would look like, if all the wounds would have healed naturally.”
“Hm. I see.”
“I probably would look hideous.”
“You don’t.”
“Yeah, because of magic healing.”
“No, Dean.” There was a slight tone of annoyance in Cas’ voice. “You don’t. I can see every single wound, every scar you ever had, naturally healed or not. Your body is somewhat … thinner in these places. It makes your soul shine through. A ray of color emanating through every place you would call scar.”
“So I’m broken?”
“No, Dean that’s not what I said. You need to work on your listening comprehension.”
“Whatever. It was just a dumb thought.”
“Dean. You are truly radiant. Like a diamond. Truly unique and exceptionally beautiful.”
“What? No! I- You … You are beautiful.”
“What?”
“What?”
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charles-leclerc-official ¡ 2 months ago
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Formula 1 Drivers as Supernatural Episodes
I have selected 2 episodes from the CW's hit show Supernatural for each driver in the 2024 F1 season. Enjoy!
These are episodes I feel fits a driver's personality/vibe/style/history and are meant to be complimentary. This is very vibes based XD
Presented in team order <3 (also I guess spn spoilers warning)
Charles Leclerc: Lazarus Rising x The Man Who Would Be King
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Charles and the angel Castiel have a lot in common. Charles is seen as this figure that is leading Ferrari currently and into the future and his first season in Ferrari was iconic (Lazarus Rising) Dare I say some of his drives have been as insane as pulling a man out of hell. However it's been a bumpy road and the burdens of one of the most iconic teams is enough to try the patience of any man (The Man Who Would Be King) There are a lot of faith and religious parallels to be made here. If there was one driver insane enough to try to single-handedly fix heaven (Ferrari) Charles is that driver. Also you could cast him as Cas and I don't think anyone would complain. I could go on about the Charles-Cas parallels but we do have to get to the rest of the grid, so he gets two stand-out Castiel episodes.
Carlos Sainz: Trial and Error x The Devil You Know
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Carlos sometimes smashes through plans like a hammer, sometimes you need schemes other times you need to throw them out the window and start punching (The Devil You Know). He's also been through the Ferrari trials which is no small feat, often requiring a lot of pressure and sacrifice (Trial and Error). I also feel like he could wrestle a hellhound and come out winning.
Lewis Hamilton: Swan Song x First Born
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I felt that one of the most iconic final battles in Supernatural of Swan Song was fitting to encapsulate Lewis' many hard fought WDCs. In addition to First Born, where Dean goes to take the mantle of the mark of Cain from a man who keeps bees in his retirement (Lewis taking WDC from Seb parallels) Both massive turning points in the show and iconic, like Lewis. A lot of small plot and emotional beats in these two that really touch on some career moments.
George Russell: Defending Your Life x Girls Girls Girls
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If there was any driver on the grid who would enter into a legal battle against an ancient god and win it's George Russell (Defending Your Life). Additionally George is one of the few who could pull off witchcraft with ease while looking iconic doing so (Girls, Girls, Girls) I just think George and Rowena would get along and get up to some trouble with the book of the damned.
Max Verstappen: The Executioner’s Song x In The Beginning
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The parallels of young talent coming in to take down the former bearer of the mark of Cain to Max's 2021 WDC are strong. It was hard, it was messy, and it was one hell of a fight (The Executioner’s Song). Then we have more emotional nuance (In The Beginning) a guy who just likes cars and is kind of old school about them too. These episodes are nuanced and plot centric and that felt fitting. The vibes are here you have to trust me on this.
Sergio Perez: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven x Criss Angel is a Douchebag
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Do not underestimate Checo, much like you should not underestimate an arch angel that is related to you, and yet. The parallels between Adam, the third Winchester brother, and Checo are not lost, especially in meta context (Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven). Then of course Checo does have a flair and charm about him, he can pull a trick or two out of a car when people least expect (Criss Angel is a Douchebag).
Fernando Alonso: Good God Y’all x Weekend at Bobby’s
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Fernando is chaos, he's here to cause unapologetic trouble, if he were to be a horseman of the apocalypse he'd be War and he'd have a hell of a time (Good God Y'all). Of course if there was one driver on the grid I know could figure out how to get his soul back from a demon after selling his soul in the first place Fernando would be that driver (Weekend at Bobby's) Naturally there are many Nando and Bobby parallels.
Lance Stroll: Scoobynatural x Hibbing 911
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Of all the drivers on the grid at risk of getting sucked into a children’s cartoon I feel like Lance is at the top of the list (Scoobynatural). In addition I think he would be the chill hunter just casually explaining that ghosts are real to Scooby and the gang. Lance would also reluctantly become a vampire hunter if they invaded his small community (Hibbing 911) And he very much reminds me of both Donna and Jody in various ways.
Oscar Piastri: About a Boy x Jack in the Box
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I feel like Oscar would be a good witch hunter, I also think if he was hit with a de-aging spell he'd be able to handle it and not panic and figure out how to get out of that situation, worry about the soul crushing curse later (About a Boy). And of course with the way his second season in F1 has been going it very much feels like Mclaren have been holding back a young driver from reaching his potential because they are afraid of his capabilities, you could say they have been putting a nephilim in a box designed to hold back his power (Jack in the Box). Also I cannot be the only one who sees the Jack and Oscar resemblance.
Lando Norris: Swap Meet x I Know What You Did Last Summer
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Tell me Lando would not somehow end up practicing black magic accidentally on purpose and somehow survive (Swap Meet). That and I think he would also really like this episode in general. I feel like the duality between Ruby and Anna presented in I know What You Did Last Summer captures a very specific vibe about Lando, is he the demon trying to trick a guy into drinking his blood? Or is he the angel that decided to become human because he was done with heaven's shit? Depends on the day honestly.
Kevin Magnussen: Rock Never Dies x Survival of the Fittest
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If there was any driver on the grid that would make crashing the Impala part of the plan to take down eldritch monsters it would be Kmag (Survival of the Fittest). Rock Never Dies just fits Kevin, iconic, villainous, Lucifer comes back a second time and is ready to cause chaos. The whole vibe of this episode is insane and it fits Kevin's particular brand of heart and unique driving. He's loud, you are not going to forget he's there, you should be afraid.
Nico Hulkenberg: Shut Up Dr Phil x My Heart Will Go On
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Nico just has the look of a man who would time travel to get rid of a single Celine Dion song (My Heart Will Go On). He does have a lot in common with Balthazar, fun loving but powerful and can execute a plan, he might just end up adding his own flair to it. And I think Nico's spats with others are not frequent, but when they do happen they are memorable (Shut Up Dr Phil) Plus he reminds me of these old witches who have been married a few centuries and keep the chaos alive.
Ollie Bearman: The Girl with the Dungeon and Dragons Tattoo x Reading is Fundamental
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Including Ollie in the Haas section since he's raced for them the most this year on the F1 grid. But his story starts as the young talent called at the last minute to solve a huge problem, driving a Ferrari in Jeddah with an hour of practice. I'd say that's similar to being suddenly asked to single-handedly go against some of the most dangerous monsters in the world with no training in monster fighting (The Girl with the Dungeon and Dragons Tattoo) but also being surprisingly good at it. Then we have another team needing young talent to step up and drive their car when things were down, you could say Ollie is in advanced placement in terms of being an F1 rookie now (Reading is Fundamental) I think the Ollie Kevin Tran comparisons are strong. Overall these two episodes of young talent needed at the last minute to save the day really sum up Ollie's 2024 F1 experience.
Yuki Tsunoda: The Gamblers x A Little Slice of Kevin
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Sometimes luck is on Yuki's side, and often times it feels like it's not. But then again he's been fighting and sticking around longer than most other drivers in the face of more bad luck than one man should deal with, so perhaps he's won against an old roman god for a bit of luck, who's to say (The Gamblers). Then we get to the duality in A Little Slice of Kevin, young talent being used as a pawn in the larger scheme of Red Bull, more likely than you'd think. Is he escaping purgatory or being captured by demons? Probably both.
Daniel Ricciardo: Frontierland x Blood Brother
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I know one thing about Danny, he would time travel back to the wild west to hunt down a rare monster no questions asked. He would bring his own cowboy hat as well (Frontierland). Danny also has that quality of guy who doesn't ask for much, so when he asks for a favor you gotta help. He also does have similar vibes to Benny, don't tell me he wouldn't make a great southern vampire (Blood Brother).
Liam Lawson: War of the Worlds x Bad Day at Black Rock
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Similar to Yuki, Liam's luck is a tricky thing. He was in a will he won't he situation at Red Bull for so long. If he had a rabbit's foot he kept losing and picking up again I wouldn't be surprised (Bad Day at Black Rock). I think the episode really captures that kind of swinging pendulum of luck his junior career has seen. Then of course now he's been called to the seat he's caught up in a pretty intense battle at the end of the season, with a lot of demands being made on top of the constant turmoil within the team. Imagine Lucifer is telling you not to do a spell another powerful arch angel is commanding you to do, I feel like that about sums up how he's been thrown into F1 (War of the Worlds).
Alex Albon: Heart x It’s A Terrible Life
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Alex was a rookie that went under the radar, at first, but something bigger was brewing in the background and then boom he was suddenly at the center of the driver market and was thrown into the spotlight. A feeling reflected in It's A Terrible Life. Alex is also the type of try to help someone against all odds, even when they seem impossible (Heart). Also I am not denying I am possibly calling him a werewolf fucker, here but tell me I'm wrong.
Logan Sargeant: Jump the Shark x Dog Dean Afternoon
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Logan would do well being able to communicate with a dog and would adapt well to taking on dog-like traits to solve a case (Dog Dean Afternoon) I don't even think he'd question it. Forgotten, overlooked, massively unlucky I don't think there is a better Supernatural parallel for Logan than season 4 Adam (Jump the Shark). He was a great guy who got caught in the middle of something dangerous and paid the price.
Franco Colapinto: Red Sky at Morning x Sharp Teeth
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Franco is one of the guys who I just think would be able to make it work for him if he were accidentally turned into a werewolf. He'd take a few months off, come back and be totally fine (Sharp Teeth). I cannot fully explain but Franco does give me Bella vibes, the mix of mischief and amusing self confidence perhaps, or maybe he just has the look of an international occult thief? (Red Sky at Morning) He'd be able to steal rare artifacts using his looks and charm I know that.
Valtteri Bottas: Party On Garth x Everybody Loves a Clown
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Valtteri strikes me as the most like Garth. Fun, a little silly, but good at his job and scary when he needs to be (Party On Garth). His methods may seem a little out there but he gets the job done. How could I not include the introduction of the best mullet on Supernatural? I know Valtteri would love Ash and call him #mulletgoals (Everybody Loves a Clown). Another character who seems a little unserious out of the profession but Ash is brilliant and knows how to lock in.
Zhou Guanyu: Hunteri Heroici x Wayward Sisters
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Zhou would 100% interrogate that cat and get information. He's probably an expert (Hunteri Heroici). I think his level headed mindset would also really help in a case where the world is literally going Loony toons. Zhou also has been through it, but is strong, and iconic in his unique way (Wayward Sisters). He's been fighting an uphill battle in that Sauber car, new hunter learning on the job has a similar experience, add a little dimension hopping in there for flavor.
Esteban Ocon: Beyond the Mat x Hollywood Babylon
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Esteban is a sweetheart but do not be fooled, he absolutely would take down his childhood hero if he needed to (Beyond the Mat). I also think that he'd absolutely be one of those hunters looking for all the old Hollywood ghosts, he'd be an expert about which myths were real or fake and have that locked down over there (Hollywood Babylon).
Pierre Gasly: Monster Movie x Simon Said
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I am not saying Pierre is a shapeshifter, but I am saying that if he was he'd be doing the over the top camp and theatrics seen in Monster Movie. Also he like Dean has a way of finding out how to have fun even when things are extremely stressful. If he did have mind control powers he'd use them for good or not use them at all, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to use them or that he's not strong (Simon Said).
That's the end! Thank you for reading. This was just something silly I have been working on. It's mostly vibes based but I had a lot of fun putting it together.
*Carry on Wayward Son + F1 theme mashup starts playing*
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