#carreer burnout

[criminaljusticemark]

The Elephant in the Room-Working Fatigued

[suicidal-coffin-boy]

-Helluva boss character design rant-

Okay so i'm going to be making a few post about the character designs of Helluva boss now because as an inspiring artist what's else to do but to give good criticism? Plus Viziepop's new era sucks,I missed when her character designs looked like absolute eye candy and weren't all red and plain looking like now,The old art of Viziepop inspires me and the new one's just make my artist soul scream.

-Asmodeus design-

I HATE ASMODEUS DESIGN I CANNOT KEEP MYSELF KIND ANYMORE,First of all,WHAT IS THIS,Is he supposed to look like a rooster?As the literal embodiment of lust he definitely doesn't look like it.The voice?Very attractive yes,But dude looks like a Sour patch addicted chicken.The only two things I like about this design choice is the voice and the two side head's,It's a nice small biblically accurate detail that's actual a real thing of the real Asmodeus.But besides that it looks like absolute garbage.I also question why he looks like this,Since he is one of the seven princes of hell why does his design look so out of place?All of the princes match their appearance with their environment and their citizens but he does NOT at all look apart of the ring,He looks more like a background sinner character,I have my own headcanon that Beelzebub's real form isn't a canine fox but that she takes that form to make her people (the hellhounds) feel more comfortable around her.I would have thought to make Asmodeus look more like a incubus so that he fits the whole idea and aesthetic of the lust ring,He isn't sexy at all but damm the succubus and incubus character's are really good looking,Wish that their so called "leader" of lust was too.

I'm sorry but Viz darling are you okay? All of the new Viziepop art feels like an artist burnout,I really think that Viz entire art carreer went downhill (As in art not as in popularity),It just doesn't feel like the same Viz art anymore.

Fuck the kind criticism people,I absolutely DISLIKE and i mean HATE Helluva boss's Asmodeus design.It is fucking ugly.His character design is the flat earther of art, Wasted potential once again.

[feiandart]

Posting 'em here again just to boost a bit my motivation today. I made 'em back in december, one of the first drawing I have ever made for myself only.

Will talk 'bout myself and my past from here, can skip it if you don't want my oversharing shit.

So. I used to work as a commission artist for years (5-6 if I'm not wrong), drew bit of anything you could think of and mainly sticked to NSFW art for most of my, uh, let me call that "carreer" even if it's probably the wrong term to use for it. Well, it paid my bills and rent for years, so we may stick to it anyway.

Thing is, I stopped drawing when I was eighteen. People, family first, always told me talent in art was all, practice would never have made it better and I should have kept it as a hobby rather than something to do as a job. Apart from my closest friends, no one encouraged me to practice and study and put real effort on it. I went to an art-based highschool (only because I couldn't focus on studying any subject, and art school is considered one in which you don't actually study at all here, so my parents thought it better to put me there as I wanted "so you can still graduate"), but I couldn't go ahead with art studies in professional comic schools, academies or any artistic department in university. No support on that front. Something like "be Caravaggio or be nobody" mindset was stuck into my head and I started actually believing that it was true. And since I was, and am not, Caravaggio, then what was the point? So I dropped the pencil and just forgot how to draw a fuckin' line for literal years.

Then I turned 22. I moved to another city for my studies. After completing 'em, my parents said me to come back home and I said no. They stopped paying anything for me since that moment, so I had to make things works on my own. Hopefully my rent was really low, so I could afford it with minimum effort, but had to buy groceries with coupons (not a common thing in Italy) and eat a lot less to make 'em last as much as possible. I found a job in a call-center, I cleaned houses and handed flyiers to people. And that's when I found out I cannot really be in social context for too long.

In the end I burned out, left all jobs and was stuck in bed for a month. I was barely 24, without a job, holding tight the little bit of freedom I ever got. I felt helpless and hopeless. I don't remember if my bestfriend or my housemate, but one of 'em said me to come back at drawing and givin' it a shot. What harm could that do afterall, could have been pocket money for a bit if it couldn't stick to something better.

I started from pencil. Then went to digital in a couple months. I practiced, started quite immediately taking commissions and honest to God I don't have the slightest clue of how someone whould spend money on some shit I drew without basic anathomy knowledge and after that much time without drawing. Still have no idea. So I drew. I made some quick animations, never did much there thought. Grew a little fanbase, went on with it for years. I even moved with my bestfriend, living with her alone for two years, got a cat I love that it's my actually support companion right now.

I felt happy for a bit, I believe. Imposter syndrome is always watching me afterall, that never stopped. It's just like there's another person in the room with me all day, whispering me I should do more 'cause I don't deserve any attention. Ugh.

However. I went on with that until 2023. I had to come back to my parent's house in 2022 and got stuck in here since then. Nightmare years. Still a nightmare period, but I'm managing. Thing is, past year I burned out so much I completed all my left commissions in a rush and actually dropped my tablet for months. I used it as a third screen, took away the pen and the glove and swore I would never ever be back at drawing again. Will not go into details of what triggered that burnout, but you got the point, I didn't want to draw again in my life at that time.

This is pretty much when Good Omens entered the room. It was late September, I saw a lot of videos on tiktok and since I watched S1 years ago, I decided to give it a shot to S2 too. It was an istant hyperfocus. Watched all over for weeks, both in italian, in english, in english with italian subs and english with english subs. Never done anything like that in my life before. By the end of October I came back at writing. So I started to arrange things for Up&Down, my first fic after uhm, like 15 years or so. And it felt so good! I went through 42 days of deep writing, posting a chapter a day just for myself. 'cause I wanted to write something I liked for the sole purpose of liking it. And it felt so liberating!

Then I thought: will this apply to drawing too, maybe?

Answer is YES. It did. I was inspired from the fandom, from MrGhostRat's art and Gleafer's, and started drawing again. I dug into english fanfictions, fandom artists I love, and the list just gets longer day by day. I started writing Sugar, and with it I started drawing illustrations for it.

I went from the image to the left to the one to the right in two months. Guys, I'll repeat it: TWO MONTHS. I never had such a quick improvement in years, practicing every fuckin' day, drawing my hands out of my bloody body. I drew for 5-6 years and never got to improve this much. I did now. And you know why?

'cause I started drawing for myself. I'm doing something I love. And I'm getting better at it.

And you know what? I'm quite angry now. 'cause if I didn't stop years ago, who knows where I could have been now. If I didn't listen to people saying me "be Caravaggio or be nobody", I could have done so much more by now. Maybe I could have been able to draw fuckin' furnitures by now. Maybe I would have started being able to draw the same face two times in a row years ago insted of now.

Maybe I could have been the comic artist I wanted to be. Maybe not the best in the world, but I don't fuckin' care of being the best one, I want to be one I'm proud of. I didn't get the chance 'cause out there is full of people without a dream who's only purpose in life is destroying other people hopes.

And you know what? I'm done with that. I'm done with people saying me I'm not a gifted child. I'm done with people coming at me saying I cannot do shit I love 'cause they have reason to make me do something different. People thinks to know what's good for me but I'm fuckin' 30 and I think I know it pretty well already, thank you very much.

I'm managing how to get hold of my choices and things I love now that I'm an adult, but dear Lord I keep on thinking of my young self and I want to hug that poor thing so much I can't explain. I'd love to say her everything's going to be hard, but good in some way. That things are difficult, but they will change. That people are shit, but she should be strong and fight back. 'cause I did it too late and I regret now, but she deserved better.

You deserves better. And I'm talking to anyone who's reading this. I don't know if you went all the way 'til here, but if you did: don't make my same mistakes. You know better than me. Don't let people spoil the things you love, don't give 'em power to destroy your will and put you in a closet for the time being. You don't deserve that.

Don't miss your chance 'cause people doesn't want to see you happy to be yourself. Don't do that. They don't deserve that power over you.

Love yourself more than I loved myself. I'm starting just now and it's hell. You can do better, I promise.

[the2022me]

Life update: Feb 2024

Carreer: I am on the 2nd day of catch up period for the upcoming Physician Licensure Exam (PLE). I am exhausted, I am pressured, I want to take a rest. but how??? Video lecture tracker: 75/456; Handouts tracker: 67/372. I still don't know how to even get these to 100.

Love life: 2 years with titobern. I am the luckiest girlfriend. I can't complain about anything. B is the constant thing in my life rn. I love him and he loves me. Bongga.

Home: Worried about this neighborhood. We are currently on the look out for the group of men who recently attempted to trespass our area.

Life: All these circumstances plus the recent passing of one of the greatest IM resident i've ever met, make it so hard for me to even breathe. I have a lot to reflect on. First, I am frustrated with my strategy of reviewing. I wanted to be a topnotcher but my efforts tell me otherwise. Idk if it's ego or what but I have some confidence na to take the boards and at the same time, I can easily admit na wala pa akong alam. Maybe I want to convince myself that I acquired some knowledge naman this past few weeks but the backlogs keep holding me back. Maybe if I don't quantify the number of backlogs, I would have taken the review on a lighter note. I'm beginning to feel burnout. It sucks.

My heart aches for doc who, even though were not that close, has occupied a territory in my heart and mind. He passed away allegedly due to OD of an anesthetic. Sometimes I think what was the trigger. How was it different from his past triggers? How big was his problem? Could someone have possibly saved him? What are his final thoughts? Who was the last person he ever talked to? Did he ask God before all of it happened? What were his options? How many times that day did he think about doing it? Kasi di ko matanggap. Ang hirap isipin na kapag may nangyayaring masama, ang sasabihin natin ay will ni Lord yan. Pero bakit pag nag attempt ang tao at natuluyan, will din ba yun ni Lord? Sometimes I wonder what God's response is if His child refuses to continue his life. Pagbibgyan niya ba like, "try mo, next na makikita mo ay Ako" or "*after a lethal dose*, pagbibgyan pa kita mabuhay, realize things" hardcore attempt na yun ah pero mabubuhay pa. Dyan natin siguro masasabi na thy will be done. BUT was it his will na kunin na si doc sa ganung paraan? Idk. I believe Him but sometimes I don't really understand His reasons.

:(((((((

[yukicarlsson]

From Bestseller to Burnout: My Phoenix Tale

September was a month of rebirth—when a crippling depression forced me to step back, assess, and reset my writing carreer. Burned to Ash: From Bestseller to Burnout My brain hit the brakes after the successful launch of my debut novel “Prison of Loneliness” in August, which hit best-seller in the US, UK and Germany. I wanted to get back to my desk, but I couldn���t. A depression held me captive.…

[wtfamidoing-andrade]

Welcome to a ted talk, or just a little bit of rambling. Tw! Kinda downer talk, im just feeling a lotta anxious again.

Ok, so i spend absolutely all day, from 8am to 5pm on a preparatory school: where im studying to get a passing grade on the enem on MED SCHOOL. ON THE MED SCHOOL CLASSROOM. WITH PEOPLE WHO DREAM OF BEING DOCTORS EVER SINCE EVER!

Now. These people are on a completely different level. And have been, every day since I enrolled on January.

Cmon, I’m an adhd idiot and my main ability is to draw or to listen to music and i completely lack all skillset to keep on believing I’m ever gonna be able to ever be in a med school in brazil, FOR FUCKS SAKE i dont think ive ever really dreamed of being a doctor. Maybe, if i ever did, was to get my uncle and aunt’s approval, or for the money.

I guess i just grew up believing i need to do all i can to move out of my parents house, and that ill never survive in art/animation college.

I look around daily and everyone i see is studying hard. And me? Barely anything at all.

Fucking hell . What the fuck am i doing here?

Around these people?

I honestly dont know anymore.

But at least i was able to write an essay on Monday, the first one in five months. Even though i know i wont get the best grade its better knowing that i did something, right?

Small steps.

Small steps.

I hope that one day I’ll wake up happier than now.

[g4rchomp]

I think it's sad that I'm not even 25 and I went through the first burnout of my carreer and I dont even have a carreer yet lol this pandemic aged me 10 years

[chacha-tortuga]

You are such an amazing artist. Everytime I get a notification that you've posted, whether it's a reblog or original post, I get excited. It's always wonderful seeing your art and amazing style. I dont know if you hear this enough, but your art is just a joy to see, and I hope you never experience bad burnout

Hi!!

First thank you so much, it's always so nice to hear that, and knowing that people enjoy my art really makes my day <3<3<3

It's such a nice compliment and I must say that this end of year it's been a little tricky artistically and personnaly because of various stuff, and maybe because having an artistic carreer makes it hard to do art for yourself :(

But I plan on getting better in my body and my mind and my art starting september so you'll have a lot more illustrations and sketches! (and animations because i'm pursuing an animation cursus next year!)

[writing-with-olive]

How I write consistantly

This is about my process personally, so if this doesn’t work for you, you are under no obligation to try and replicate it. Anyway, these are my two rules for myself about writing.

1) I have to write every day.

2) I have to work on my story every day.

On the surface, this is a little bit extreme, but there’s some nuance to it so I won’t get burnt out, and so I can also have time to focus on school and my social life. 

For the first point, that I have to write every day, this does not necessarely mean I have to write on my WIP every day. Keeping my writing skills sharp is important, but I extend writing to working on essays for school, journaling, making tumblr posts and other things, as well as my WIP. As long as I write ~500 words (that’s the number that works for me - if you’re following my method choose a number that works for you), in any given day, it counts. 

(more details under the cut)

There are a few exceptions to this. The first is that if I”m doing any travelling that’s longer than a few hours, I am not obligated to write, as travelling is time consuming, and often it’s surrounded by other time sinks like packing and unpacking. The other is that if there are larger school or familial events that take up most of the day, I am not required to hit that word count. For me, as I am unpublished, and therefore do not make writing my carreer (yet), I let other things take priority. 

.

The other point, that I have to work on my story every day, is also not as daunting in reality as it might seem. To me, working on my story means writing and creating new words, but it can also mean brainstorming new content, figuring out how to fix plot holes, editing, working on character development, and so forth. I don’t force myself to take an exorbitant amount of time on this, but at the end of the day, I need to be able to point to something I did, and be able to say “that’s progress.” The benifit to this method is it helps me to avoid burnout. I’ve I’m on a roll and write thousands of words one day, the next, I don’t have to force myself to create new content if I’ve exhausted that well. Instead, I can work on smaller things, or just straight-up different ones.

.

I developed this strategy for myself about a year ago, after wasting an entire summer thinking about how I should write, and wanting to write, and all of that, rather than actually writing. Yes, taking breaks is good for you, and yes, burnout is a real thing, but by that point, I was just too lazy on any given day to just sit down and start. All it would have taken would be to open up the story document. This method is nice because it forces me to at least do something while still letting me take care of myself. 

If you think this system could work for you, go ahead and try it! Let me know how you like it.

[tomahawk-swing]

((☰ ask meme ☰))

Munday Meme Extraordinaire

☰ - Fun random facts about the mun!

[[ Number 1: my academic carreer is all over the place x) I graduated high school with a "major" (we don't use that term here) in science, then I studied french and german law for a year and half, had a burnout and quit college, went back to take a bachelor's in economics, management and chinese, then got a master's in international business and chinese... and now I'm working at an accounting firm, and getting accounting degrees as a sidepiece x)

Number 2: I did go to the ER once, even though I have no memory of it :v I was around 2 or 3 years old, and my dad was using some dangerous cleaning product to polish old coins. He made sure he put the bottle high up on a table, but curious baby me was intrigued by the smell.

I pushed a chair around, climbed up on it, grabbed the bottle... and poured its contents down my nose :/ I thankfully didn't have time to ingest much of it, but it was a close call. Curiosity kills the stupid baby x( ]]

[taltos-seidmadr]

Hello! It's so thoughtful of you to open up free readings, thank for for taking the time to do these! My birthday is 05/15/00 and I'm generally looking to ask what direction my life is going in. If my question needs more clarity, than I'll amend that to I'd like to know what needs to change in my life/how I need to change in order to find a career. Thank you again for doing these, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

This is reading 5 out of 8 (they may be out of order). At the moment of me writing this, there are no slots left, but you can still get a reading in exchange for a small donation.

Thank you so much for the thoughtful wishes Anon 💖 I think the "what do I need to change" questions are probably my favourite because these usually have the clearest answers.

knight of cups reversed. queen of wands reversed. the moon eight of wands reversed. two of cups. the sun reversed. temperance reversed. the high priestess reversed. five of swords reversed.

If you don't mind, I will just do this one at once because I feel like the different sections are telling me the same thing, just different sides of the same story.

It seems like the core of the issue is disorganization. I'm seeing a lot of chaos and strife here. Unless there is somebody close to you in your life who puts a lot of pressure on you, the Queen of Wands stands for either a burnout or low self esteem, maybe both. You will need to get a lot more focused and organized, but before you can do that, you will have to treat the mental/physical health concerns that are holding you back if there is any. I cannot advise on this obviously but take care of yourself, okay? 💖

I'm seeing some kind of conflict going on, either permanent or just constantly renewing. I don't want to invalidate your side in this situation, but you will have to pick your battles for the sake of your own wellbeing. I don't really know how this is relevant to your carreer if at all, but the good news is that if you are willing to come halfway this conflict will be resolved positively. I think it's also possible that maybe you are picking a carreer where people mightily test your patience, and if you go into it with the mindset you have now, you will experience too much frustration. In this case you need to be mentally armed, strong and prepared for the stress of this work much better than you are now, but if you work on that, you will be successful.

The two of cups speak of connections that you could make. Perhaps you could try to ask around and find out that you know a guy who knows a guy. But this is a very emotional type of connection, maybe the work is so that your heart really needs to be in it, or you should try to reach out and connect with your coworkers as people.

Either way, based on these cards I feel an emotion that is almost threatened, constantly vigilant and alarmed, always ready for an attack even if there is none. I feel like there are some issues here that should definitely be addressed with a professional and if you feel like that resonates, I definitely encourage you to do so.

I also have the feeling that you are disappointed in yourself even though there is no reason, like maybe you wanted your carreer to be way more successful right off the bat. There is very little about the future in this reading, but what there is, seems to be very positive, just in smaller increments than what you would think and maybe that's why you are upset.

At the end this is what I can tell you: keep yourself organized, improve your mental strength, and don't pressure yourself too much. Accept the small wins at first, and let your successes grow over time, because they will be fruitful. 💖

tip

[dramatic-unicorn]

Walking into the hospital is basically walking in to a new adventure every day. A new challenge.  A new learning experience.  I scan my badge to unlock the door of my comfort zone, and then I step through it. My natural state is to avoid change at all costs; To dwell in an environment I can navigate through muscle memory alone. I've learned over the last couple years, however, that this place of comfort and repetition is where burnout lives. While the introverted and severely empathetic part of my mind loves to be wrapped in the comfort of knowing what to expect and how to deal with it, what's left of my personality longs for challenge and new experiences. I have a visceral need to grow, even while every part of my psyche fights it. Critical care can be a difficult environment for an empath. It's a world of strong emotion and high stakes. Life altering decisions, and constant noise. I find my self coming home depleted, and requiring an empty quiet space to recover. I'm so blessed to have a family who so willingly shares me with my career, because I do not pretend to deny that some days my patients get the best of me and my family gets what's left. At the end of the day when I swipe my badge to clock out and open the stairwell door,  I do it stronger.  Smarter.  More resilient. 

Growth is uncomfortable.  It's hard. It's down right painful at times, but there is no greater feeling than crashing through a barrier you've felt hovering over you and meeting the next barrier head on with your fear tucked tightly away. Present enough to keep you cautious, but boxed up and out of your way. Thousands of times through nursing school, I wondered if I chose the right carreer. I wondered how in the world I was going to survive in a climate of constant change and instability. Looking back on the last 4 years through an objective perspective, I see that I've survived by taking it one day, one hour, one life saving decision at a time. I can't look too far ahead, I have to look at right now. Today I looked up through the dust and debris, through the cracked hands and bruised hearts and notice I've been surviving, even thriving in this world I was sure I couldn't navigate, and not only that, but I've loved every torturous minute of it.

[meunomeejon]

Me refatorando

Sobre programação, carreira e saúde mental

Hoje é um dia bem importante para mim.

Completo 1 ano e 1 mês do meu primeiro trabalho como desenvolvedor e estou no primeiro dia (ou -2, porque só começa a contar de segunda) das minhas primeiras merecidas férias como dev.

Esta jornada começou a ser desenhada ainda no longínquo ano de 2013, quando ainda era designer e não existia muito do que existe hoje.

O iOS era o 7, Google Glass ainda existia e a Microsoft ainda estava na era negra de Steve Ballmer.

Nas tecnologias web, ainda não existia NPM e o React acabara de ser lançado. Nada de Redux, View, muito menos GraphQL.

Não existia dotnet core e o Python ainda estava na versão 3.2.

Bom, foi neste 2013 tão distante que comecei a desenterrar uma antiga paixão. Já era designer há quase 10 anos e a subjetividade e os ambientes nada criativos de agências de publicidade, já não me seduziam.

Comecei a fazer alguns cursos de programação, na época, javascript (ECMAScript 5.1) e estava realmente gostando de tudo aquilo.

No ano de 2014 veio a bendita crise pós copa, e com isto, o início de 3 anos e meio de desemprego. Minha saúde mental foi extremamente debilitada, algo que voltou para me assombrar mais recentemente.

Como toda adversidade, este período serviu para rever conceitos e mudar a chave que há tanto precisava mudar: Deixar o design de vez e começar a tão sonhada carreira no desenvolvimento.

Meu irmão já era desenvolvedor front end há um tempo e eu comecei a procurar uma forma de fazer um caminho mais curto para entrar na área.

Em 2016, ingressei na faculdade (com 28 anos (O o), de análise e desenvolvimento de sistemas, que me deu uma boa base.

Em 2017, consegui uma recolocação, mais próxima do meu objetivo, como Suporte Técnico e aí a coisas começaram a andar. Em 2019, após muita procura e muito estudo, veio a primeira oportunidade. Com duas das minhas tecnologias favoritas, Python e React. Não foi nada fácil. Lembramde quando falei sobre minha saúde mental? Bom, pra mim, mudanças sempre foram um tanto quanto traumáticas. Sempre tive dificuldade em entender que a maioria das coisas são passageiras. E o início como desenvolvedor foi extenuante. Me sentia mal por ver amigos de trabalho, 10 anos mais jovens que eu, DESTRUINDO, como desenvolvedores. Me parecia uma espécie de magia. Um talento inatingível. Nos primeiros dias, eu olhava a tela e não entendia 10% do que estava ali. Era literalmente código. Com o tempo comecei a imaginar que tivesse algo errado. Minha mente, antes tão lógica e rápida, agora parecia uma máquina sem óleo. Olhava e não enxergava. A mente estava vazia. Após três episódios - o último, pior deles - de ataques de pânico, resolvi buscar ajuda. Na verdade resolveram para mim. Num complô digno de filme, minha esposa e meu pai marcaram minha primeira consulta com uma profissional psiquiatra. Após algumas sessões, e a medicação adequada, as coisas começaram a clarear, as engrenagens da mente começaram a funcionar novamente. O código virou texto, o pavor virou aprendizado e comecei a desfrutar do trabalho e me sentir produtivo. Precisamos falar seriamente sobre doenças mentais no meio tecnológico, mas enfim, isto é assunto pra outra oportunidade. Hoje me sinto extremamente grato, por ter esse período de descanso, ainda que em meio à epidemia. Ainda que permanecendo recluso. É um marco, talvez bem pequeno pra uns, mas enorme para mim e minha família. Espero que este post sirva de motivação para os que estão transicionando a carreira, pra aqueles que ainda não se adaptaram neste mundo tão dinamico do desenvolvimento de software, ou pra aqueles que estão se questionando neste período tão difícil de isolamento social. Siga em frente.

#programming

#programação

#desenvolvimento de software

#software development

#carreers

#covid19

#mindgrowth

#mentalhealth

#burnout

[andrelovesprocess]

Draft copy for this thing

You can’t have your cake and eat it too

Yes I can

Artistic Genius + Corporate Whore is a real thing

Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise

Fight! Do beautiful work

Grind Grind Grind

or,

Burn out in the pursuit of Good Work

but don’t worry

maybe you’ll have the whole cake on day

it’s fucking delicious

its rather tasty

it’s not bad

it’s worth all the sweat and tears

—

with enough brawling you can have the whole cake, it’s fucking delicious

and the more often you learn to do it,

the more light there will be.

it’s a fucking delicious cake

everybody wants a piece of the cake

(You’ll have to fight for it,

and it’s a fight you have to win)

copy / art direction /

(don’t compromise your creativity in the

just because you’re going into a corporate environment doesn’t mean you have to up the mediocrity

you don’t have to compromise your creativity and do boring shit

working commercially doesn’t mean that you can no longer do work the you are passionate about, it now means you have to

creativity is a disease you will get punished for the rest of your life

creativity is a disease which has no cure, fucking own it

You can’t have your cake and eat it too

Yes I can

(Honestly, I’m worked to the bone)

I’ll probably just burn out

but who knows

something something something

something about you can’t have a success carreer / life and be a creative person

my resolve: yes i can and doing so means working till burn out

what am i saying by doing it in cake:

this industry and line of work in indulgent and superficial

so to bring this across I need to say something more crass

insight:

something about fighting the good fight, how the world is actually an ugly tasteless place and we have to fight them to make it pretty and meaningful

being a creative person and having a decent pay check

being a creative person abe v

Who's bullshit is that fuck that I can have my cake and eat it

You can’t have your cake and eat it too

yes I can

Being creative is a disease

and you get punished for it for the rest of your life

We we’re promised a world of creativity

and not

I’ll probably just burn out

—

You can’t have your cake and eat it too

yes I can

You have to fight to do good work

they will try to stop you

I’ll probably just burn out

you can’t go and live this creative airy fairy life and live a life where you get paid well for what you do, you can but you have to work your finger to the bone

you can’t be a creative and

you’ll have to fight

doing good work is your

(

(connecting thought to new york)

The dream was to move to New York

later that dream turned into a nightmare

Am I good enough

I mean there are so many talented people out there who outshine me

Why would people in New York even care

then industry telling me what to do

they’re just taking me further away from the goal

)

[

trying too hard

maybe make it on my experiences interning

I just basically want to do whatever I want to and continue to play and learn and make cool things, that’s what I care about

but reality is I need to pretend and play nice with agencies and people from industry

and those people in industry don’t get that, you’re a copywriter and an art director, no you have to choose

reality is I’m neither, I’m a creative

promise of being a creative person vs. reality of the industry

—

]

Dreams of working in Manhattan, occasionally I get nightmares about it too.

Dead set on selling my soul, motivated enough to get on my knees and desperate enough to grovel:

I’ll probably just burn out

starving artist

(flying too close to the sun)

my arrogance sees me soaring beyond the clutches of the industry, but in reality I’m free falling to burnout

you can’t have it both ways

doing meaningful creative work

paying the bills

copywriter

designer

being an adult

being a kid

[inqilina-blog]

I have selected the NESARC study data because I’m studing health sciences and I’m interested of using this course to my formation. 

After looking through the codebook for study, I have decided that I am particularly interested in anxiety. I’ll investigate the association between anxiety and usual activities. I would like to investigate how it affects the performance and socialization of the affected person. I will use the symptoms of anxiety as independent variables and the following elements as dependent variables:

Variable S6Q113 ->HAD SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THINGS SUPPOSED TO DO--WORK, SCHOOLWORK, CARING FOR HOME/FAMILY

Variable   S6Q114 ->USUAL ACTIVITIES RESTRICTED IN ANY WAY FOR THE EPISODES

Variable S6Q112-> HAD SERIOUS PROBLEMS GETTING ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE (ARGUING/AVOIDING MORE THAN USUAL)

All these variables are categorical with 4 levels: 1. Yes, 2. No 9. Unknown or BL. NA, it's never known if you ever had a panic attack.

Based of the studies cited below, I have the following hypotheses:

USUAL ACTIVITIES RESTRICTED IN ANY WAY FOR THE EPISODES (S6Q114) is more frequences to be 1 if the pateint show more symptoms.

I HAD SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH SUPPRESSED THINGS TO DO - WORK, SCHOOL, CARING FOR HOME / FAMILY (S6Q113) is more frequences to be 1 if the pateint have more symptoms.

HAD SERIOUS PROBLEMS GETTING ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE (ARGUING/AVOIDING MORE THAN USUAL) (S6Q112) is more frequences to be 1 if the pateint show more symptoms .

About academic performance and anxiety I found that children exhibit an avoidance behavior towards the subjects that generate anxiety,and then they choose carreers about this emotions. Also when students feel anxious they postpone their homework (procrastination) in order to avoid anxiety.

Hofflich, A., Hughes, A., y Kendall, P. (2006). Somatic complaints and childhood anxiety disorders. International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology, 6, 229-242. KAZELSKIS, R. (2000). Mathematics Anxiety and Test Anxiety: Separate constructs? Journal of Experimental Education, v. 68 (2), 137-146.

Onwuegbuzie, A. J. (2004). Academic procrastination and statistics anxiety. Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 29(1), 3-19.

There are also signs of demotivation and related behaviors to leave work if there is anxiety in the (burnout)

Encalada, A. M., Zegarra, R. O., Malca, A. M. U., & Tello, M. V. (2016). Factores que desencadenan el estrés y sus consecuencias en el desempeño laboral en emergencia. Revista Peruana de Obstetricia y enfermería, 3(1).  

 Zubeidat, I., Fernández-Parra, A., Sierra, C., Salinas, J.M. (2007). Comorbilidad de la ansiedad social específica y generalizada en adolescentes españoles. Psicothema, 19(4), 654-660.