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megs-1800 · 2 months ago

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The Fear Of Loosing You

Notes: Requests are open as usual. This is written from Mason's POV.

Summary: After you and Mason break up 6 weeks ago, he gets the dreaded call that you have been in a car accident. Are you gong to be okay? He has so many questions to ask you? Will you ever forgive him?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 4.1K

Warnings: Fluff, Angst and mentions of car accident and injury

I parked my car up and walked quickly into the restaurant trying not to get wet from the torrential rain that is currently downpouring. As I walk in I see the large table with our own separate part of the restaurant where all the united boys are sat. We agreed to start to meet for dinner before the start for the season it’s a ritual.

Tonight though I really didn’t want to go, it’s the first time I have been out the house for a social occasion since the break up. We broke up 6 weeks ago and my heart still aches as much as it did the night you left. I am completely devastated since the break up, you packed all your things within a couple of hours and moved back to (your hometown) back with your parents. We haven’t spoken since, I have messaged you nearly every day which you never reply. You deleted all pictures of us on your socials and unfollowed me on everything, which made everyone talk. I do not blame you, I done the worse thing I could ever do to you, I cheated on you, I broke your heart which I broke my own heart in the process.

I have been struggling since you have left, I am trying to get my head around everything, get my head around being single again I hate it. We were together for 3 years, we were so happy. That was until I decided to go out that night and get drunk and make the biggest mistake of my life. Now I have to deal with the trauma of never having you again.

I sat down at the table and everyone is chatting away, I try and join in the conversation but my mind is distracted. I try my best to enjoy the evening. I am joining in with the conversation when I see my phone ring. It’s a number I do not recognise, I can see the start of it is a Manchester number but I decide not to answer it. That’s when I get the voicemail ping up, something in me tells me to listen to it now. I quickly escort myself away and listen to the voicemail. “Voicemail for a Mason Mount, I am calling from Saint Mary’s Hospital we have a patient here that you are registered as their Next of Kin so please do give us a call back at your earliest convenience so we can discuss their situation”. I was confused, everyone I am close to run through my head which no one made sense. Then it kicked it, it could be you? But why would you be in Manchester Hospital? You went back to your home town with your parents after the breakup so whats going on.

I quickly hit redial and called the hospital back, they answered after 2 rings which is good as I didn’t want to sit on hold. “Hello, I missed a call from you its Mason Mount”. They agreed and they said they would look into the record for me. My heart dropped at the next sentence “hello Mr Mount thank you for holding.. we have a y/n y/l/n here from what we believe she has had a car accident, she has lost a lot of blood. She has been in and out of surgery since she got here. She is currently in a stable condition but we are not sure about any further damage until she wakes up. The next 48 hours are going to be vital for her. We have been trying to get hold of her parents but there is no answer, so you are the next listed as her next of kin. We are not sure if you want to come down as she really needs someone to support her with the recovery”.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, I feel sick and suddenly become very dizzy. I need to sit down. Everything is running through my head I have to get to you. I quickly run inside, I didn’t even realise I was crying until one of the boys pulled me in making sure I was okay. I explained what happened and they all told me to go. They know how much I love you. As I am driving I must be breaking all the limits with how quick I was driving but right now I do not care I need to make sure you are okay.

As I run into the hospital I run upto the front desk, “Hey I am looking for y/n y/l/n” they stop and stare at me “omg you are Mason Mount! Oh my god! Oh my god! Please can we have an autograpgh”. I look at her with dismay. “Seriously?” I say shocked “No not right now, I need to go see her please can you tell me what room y/n y/l/n is in please?” I say with a bit more authority. “Are you family? Because we can only allow family in to see her at the moment due to her fragile condition”. Fragile condition how bad are you? “but on this occasion we will allow you to go in just please do not say anything because we will be in trouble”. The girls behind the desk giggle, I do not feel in a laughing mood right now, but at least my name actually done me a positive today. They provided me the number of your room and I basically run there, perks of being an athletic at least I can run up the 8 flights of stairs instead of waiting for the bloody lift without being too out of breath.

When I finally reach your room I open the door at the sight makes my heart shatter. You are all hooked up to wires. You are covered in cuts and bruises, your left leg is wrapped possibly broken or a sprain and your right wrist is the same. You are topless with a bandage covering your whole chest, that really must not be good. You look so broken, all I want is to put you back together. I quickly ran over to you and sit in the chair that is placed next to your bed, and put your hand in mine. I am a mess I can feel my heart beating erratically, I just need you to be okay. “Please be okay baby, please wake up baby. Please y/n I love you”.

I sit with you for a couple of hours, just looking at you all over. Even with you looking all battered and bruised you are still the most beautiful women in my eyes. Your doctor came in to do his checks. I stood away from you as he did his checks to give him space. I look down and play with my hair feeling so hopeless. “What happened doc? Is she going to be okay?”

The doctor gave me a sympathetic look “I believe she had a car accident, swerved off the road and I think the car must of flipped a couple of times by looking at her injuries. She has a fractured leg, sprained wrist, couple of bruised ribs and her lung collapsed. She had a lot of internal bleeding and she smacked her head a couple of times so until she wakes up we generally cannot determine how severe her injuries are. We wanted to run a couple of CT scans however we really do not like running those for women in her condition, so it will be best for her to wake up first for us to examine her.”. I am so confused at those words. “A women in her condition what does that mean? What because she is so fragile?” I asked the doctor.

The doctor shakes his head, “No we do not like running scans on those who are pregnant”, I am taken aback by that statement. “Wait she is pregnant?” I asked with concern in my voice. My next thought is about the baby “Is the baby okay? You know because of the accident”. This is when the nurse in the room buts in “The baby is okay from what we can see, she is still really early on in the pregnancy but the heartbeat seems stable and the scan showed no current concerns. Did you not know about the pregnancy? Did you know if she knew?”

“No I had no idea she was pregnant I cannot believe it, she might of known but we haven’t been on the best terms recently so I am not sure if she knows I am sorry.” The nurse gives me a reassurance smile. “Visiting times are almost over however if you want to stay tonight we can get you a fold out bed so you can sleep here? She will need someone here once she wakes up” I nod at response to her question. I haven’t slept next to you in just over 6 weeks, I cannot believe your pregnant. Is it mine? Did you know? What were you doing in Manchester? Where you coming to tell me? All these things are rolling through my head. Once the nurse brought the bed in, I set myself out. It really wasn’t a comfortable bed but it was nice laying next to you, with your hand in my mine. My head is a mess, once the nurse leaves I left all my tears roll out as I slowly close my eyes. My mind goes back to the day we broke up.

I finished training early to come and surprise you, I even went to buy some flowers for you on the way home. I love seeing your smile and I know you love the little things like this. As I walk through the door, I was expecting to see you greeting me at the door, or see you singing away as you are doing things around the house, but today I am met with silence. Something felt wrong. As I walk into the living room I look at you and can see the tears in your eyes, by the look of your puffy eyes you have been crying a little while.

I quickly put the flowers down and sat by your side “whats wrong baby? Is everything okay?” I went to put my arms around you to comfort you, but as I do this you wiggle away from me and just stare straight into my arms. You look so vulnerable and scared, I am worried with what has happened. It must have been something bad for you to be in this state. “Please tell me its not true?” which I can hear the worry in your voice.

“Whats not true?” I say acting dumb, surely you cannot know. There is no way you can know. “Where did you stay the other night?” You choak out, I can see you really struggling to get your words out as you are focusing more on your breathing. “what do you mean? What night?” I am still trying to act dumb, I knew exactly what you were talking about.

“The night you went out to get drunk, you said you bumped into Jaz and ended up staying with her. I was just on facetime to her, and summer was saying how she was so excited to see you as she hasn’t seen you in ages, when I said that you stayed there the other night she was confused and said you didn’t stay and said I was silly”. Shit I thought I have been caught.

“Summer wouldn’t of seen me, I was up before Summer left that’s probably why.” I say pleading trying to defuse the situation. I hoped you couldn’t see through my lie. “well you text me at midday to say you were leaving so Summer would of seen you surely. This isn’t making sense Mason”. I can see the tears slowly streaming down your face, I can see you adding it all up. “I- um- I-um” I wasn’t sure what to say I have been caught in my lie.

“The thing is Mason, after this I logged into your emails and I saw an email receipt for a hotel that night.. I wouldn’t be too worried about that but why lie to me about staying with Jaz if you got a hotel? See I thought this was really weird so I logged onto your Instagram I know I shouldn’t of but I knew you would lie like you are now. That’s when I saw the messages Mason, from that girl thanking you for a sexy night, and you telling her to keep it quiet, and her asking for money to keep quiet, which you fucking paid Mason. You rather pay her that stupid money then tell me the truth! You are a fucking coward Mount!” Your sadness has now turned to anger. I can feel your heart breaking.

“3 years Mason, 3 fucking years! And you just cheated on me seriously!, I-I-I cannot believe it”. You are now in full on tears, I don’t even know what to say, I just wanted to take it all back. The way you are breaking because of me, I cannot believe I have been so stupid. “I-I am sorry y/n, it was a mistake. We had that fat argument and then you said that if I walked out the house then do not bother coming back. I thought I lost you, I-I went out with the guys I was smashed. When I woke up in the morning I woke up next to this girl. I don’t even remember the night. Please it meant nothing to me” I am pleading now, I will do anything to make it okay. “The thing is Mase, she meant enough for it to ruin our relationship” You gave me a small sad smile. “and you had the nerve to hide it from me. I know we fought but I sat here all night alone crying hoping you would come home to sort it out, while you were there fucking another girl. I guess I just cared more about the relationship then you do”.

You stood up and start walking towards the door, I quickly run to reach you. As I am stood eye to eye with you I am not sure what to do. I quickly grab you and push my lips to you with force trying to force you not to leave. You push my away and give me a small slap across the cheek which makes me back away. “I love you y/n please don’t do this” I say sobbing. “I didn’t do this Mase, you did. You and the girl did this, you broke us.” I hate myself so much how have I lost her. “Please y/n I will do anything to make this better. Please do not leave me, I will get on my hands and knees and beg please” I have now lost all pride and kneeling in front of you grabbing your hands, begging for you not to leave. I can see the tears streaming down your face which I am sure you can see the tears staining my face as well. I am a mess. You shake your head. “Please Mase don’t do this, if you love me you will let me go” at this I start crying more, this puts me in a dilemma because I love you more then anything but I do not want you to go. I know I have to let you leave, I did this I need to let you go. I let go of your hands and stand up so we are facing eachother again. I can see you are trying to control your breathing to stop you from hyperventilating. You nod and can see you sniffling trying to compose yourself. “Thank you.. I will get someone to come and grab my stuff. Goodbye Mase.”

I watch you walk out the door as I can feel my heart shatter, I cannot believe that I have just lost you like that. That was the last time I saw or spoke to you. I tried to message you but you always ignored me. I haven’t spoken to you in 6 weeks.

I am woken up to the sound of you choking, as I slowly open my eyes and adjust them quickly to the bright light I quickly remember where I am. I quickly shout for a nurse who comes in and removes the tube out of your throat and she explains to you what has happened. You look so scared, you were always so brave and at this time seeing the pain in your eyes, shatters me I just wish I could take all the pain away. As the nurse leaves, you try and say something but your mouth is so dry it comes out raspy. I quickly grab you the glass of water on your side and put the straw to your mouth, I watch as your swallow the whole glass.

“What are you doing here Mason?” I was pretty much excepting that to be your first question. “They called me, they said they tried to call your parents but there was no answer so they rang me as I was your registered next of kin as well”. You nod your head and look at your body assessing your wounds. You try and sit up and wince, I am quick to respond “Are you okay? You in pain I can go get the nurse? I can get them to give you more pain meds? Did you want help sitting up?” I blurted out. “whoah, that’s a lot of questions. The nurse said a minute ago I am on the highest pain meds so I do not think they going to give me anymore. But yes please if you could help me sit up that would be amazing”. You say trying to give me a smile but due to the injuries on your cheek you cannot smile too wide. I nod and wrap my arms around your back and slowly lift you up the bed trying my hardest to be as painless as possible.

Once you are seated in bed, I take the seat next to you. “What do you remember? What happened y/n? Why are you in Manchester?” I see your body start to stiffen as you are reliving the memory of what happened. “I-uh-I-Uh umm my parents are on holiday which is why they didn’t answer the phone, which I am glad they didn’t answer otherwise they would already be on the flight home by now” you give a small giggle which I can see hurts your chest. “I have something I needed to speak to you about, I thought if I messaged you out the blue or rang you, you would want to talk then and I would chicken out. So I thought if I just turned up at your house then I wouldn’t be able to back out. It was so wet and such a hard drive. I was literally only 10 minutes away from yours when the car skidded, I lost complete control and next thing you know this car crashed into the side of me. The car flipped a couple of times, then I woke up here”. I can see the tears roll down your face, I can see the fear in your eyes are you telling it back. I quickly stand up and wipe your tears away with my thump as I cup your face. “I guess I still have that thing to talk to you about”.

“I know” I responded, which I looked at the confusion on your face. “What do you mean you know?” you ask.

“When the doctor came in to explain about your condition to me, they explained they did not want to do a Scan due to your ‘condition’. They told me you are pregnant? Is it mine?” At that last part, I see your eyes get wide you look angry. “Are you serious Mount! You are the one who cheated not me. Its been 6 weeks of course I haven’t been with anyone else. I don’t know what you have been doing since we broke up, but I definitely haven’t been sleeping around. I cannot believe you Mason that you really think the baby isn’t yours and agrrr shit”. I hear you wince in pain as you grab your side. My face suddenly softens as I suddenly stand up, hoping you will give me an idea on how I make you feel better. I grab your wounded hands in mine. Your eyes look up at me this time a lot softer “Is the baby okay? Did it get hurt?” You say looking down at your stomach and slowing rubbing it. “No.. our baby is a fighter. They said the heartbeat is strong and everything looks okay at the moment”. I watch the relieve in your face as I confirm the baby is okay.

“I know what happened between us, and whatever you want to do about us is completely your choice. But I promise you I will be here for this baby, I always wanted you to be the mother of my child and knowing you are bringing my first child into this world. Wow I couldn’t love you more if I tried y/n. Please let me be a dad, please let me be here for you both because I know I let you down, but I promise I will never let our child down, and I will spend everyday making it up to you. Please just give me a chance please.”

As you begin to answer the nurse comes in “hiya.. sorry to interrupt. I just want to let you know miss y/l/n that you and baby are doing well. There are no internal injuries which is good. We want to keep you for a couple of nights for observation but you should be free to go within the next couple of days. The only thing is you need to be released to someone, we cannot let you go home on your own due to the head injury. I am not one to gossip but I know you two are not together anymore, but are you going home with him or do you need us to call someone else for you?” I see you look at me not knowing what to answer. Your parents are away and I know you do not have many other close people to call. Of course you are coming back with me.

“She is coming home with me, I can look after her”. I said with authority. Which the nurse looks at you for conformation which you nod and she gives us a smile and walks away. “Thank you Mase, but honestly it will be fine. I will call my sister or something. I do not even have any clothes or anything. I didn’t pack a bag to come, I just kind of got in the car and drove. Honestly its fine, I need to go home”.

“Stop y/n, you are in a lot of pain, I will take care of you. I will buy you everything you need. I will bring you my clothes to wear as I know you will be comfortable in them for now. Please you know it makes sense, I am not far from the hospital. Then when you get a bit better and your parents are back from holiday then I will drive you home okay, please y/n you know it makes sense.” I watch you contemplate the options which you know this is the best one.

“Okay thank you Mase”. I smile and explain that I am just going to pop home to get changed as I am still in my outfit from yesterday and grab some bits for you. You stop me as I am leaving. “Mase this doesn’t change anything, just because I am helpless right now and carrying your child doesn’t take back what happened. You still cheated, you still broke my heart Mase. I love you more then anything but I need to protect myself.” I nod agreeing with you. “I know baby, just you focus on resting up and getting better and building the best home for our bubba okay. Our relationship stuff will still be here tomorrow okay.” I wink at you, which you lay your head back on the bed.

As I walk out the hospital, I feel a sudden sense of everything. Relief that you are okay, excitement for the baby, anticipation of what is going to happen between us. But for now, you and baby are okay and you are coming home with me that’s all I could want for now. All I need to focus on is winning you back. How hard could that be?

You can read Part 2 here

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