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#cant tell if u look like u at this point. but also ive been on and off staring at the same 3 pics for a few hours so HABFJSHG
oceanwithouthermoon · 2 months
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#other ppl: youll be fine! u r passionate abt what u do#no u dont understand. its not passion. im being consumed. im being devoured whole and alive.#its out of control and its killing me#stop trying to tell me im good. i can assure u its a problem and i want it to fucking stop. whats the point of being successful if u cant#even fucking breathe?#this has been my weekend in purgatory for some reason. but fuck u i got the fucking application 98% done so im gonna read it over tomorrow#when my brain doesnt feel like its gonna explode and thrn send it to the dude and idk see wtf he has to say about it bc im positive i#overwrote it bc im unhinged. whatever tomorrow im gonna spend another 4hr transfering algae#if i can. turns out ive given myself a headache and now i cannot sleep lmao#lol i wrote all that yesterday night. it appears i was having a bad time. and i continue to have a bad time bc my manuscript is 98% ready#for submission but i leave at 7.20 tomorrow morning for my flight and wont be home until 7pm in this time zone at the very least#which means ill have to fucking wait all day to submit i guess unless i use plane wifi or something. fucking idk#i also havent sent the application in yet and i havent bought any Christmas presents bc my brain is splitting into a million pieces#its 10 pm now. will is sleep tonight? who's to say i still have work to do on this fucking manuscript#at least my coauthor thinks itll only get sent back with minor revisions so it must look pretty ok#part of it is just me bitching abt inconsistent methods across papers bc it annoys me but also i dont give a fuck#i will fucking psychically control ppl to read this paper and use its knowledge bc the way they talk abt the topic annoys me so much#which is additionally annoying bc like i said i dont give a fuck#anyway im procrastinating#unrelated#my parents texting me today: yay we r excited to see u 🤗#and im just laying on the floor eminating a demonic aura
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pyriteplates · 1 year
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Tbd?
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forbiddennhoney · 8 months
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i know it doesnt have to be "as bad" as it used to be for it to still be impacting me severely. i know others suffering doesnt make my pain any less real. and yet i am sitting here feeling severe guilt over smthn thats supposed to be "natural" bc it causes such excessive pain (even when i am medicated & take pain meds to help it) that i may have to completely rearrange my Saturday bc i am in no condition to do what i had planned and if the pain doesn't stop I'll have to cancel and ik its important to prioritize my health but also i wish i could just grit through the pain bc i feel so guilty cancelling 🙃
#personal#being intersex is fun (':#<< heavy sarcasm rn if u cant tell#and b4 anyone says 'oh everyones periods are lainful just do xyz' pls consider i have been experiencing this for 12 years now#and Do know medically that i am intersex and that my condition impacts the function of my body and puts me in a level of pain that is so big#that at its peak when on my period my body starts mimicking labor bc it thinks smthn is trying to leave#and if you have never experienced a labor pain level cramp pls look it up or get one of those electric box thingies that let u feel it#bc my cramps are a solid 8-9 on those every time this happens#the sad thing is i say its “not as bad as it used to be” too but the reality is it is Just as painful#i have just been living with this long enough and have just enough hormones in my body from getting an implant to make it less frequent#than 3 weeks in a month 🙃 but its not less painful at all!#(yes i used to have my period for 3 weeks at a time)#im also worried bc like. it seems like my period is coming more often than when i first started this version of hormone treatment#I've already blown through pills being effective and my junk is the wrong shape inside for an IUD to fit properly#(like i could but it would likely cause other pains and worse side effects)#so im already at my second to last resort (BC implant for continuous hormone release) and it works to a point but its getting less effective#the longer im using it and im so scared bc i think im already at a point where i have to get my stuff removed w/in the next 5 years#and i already knew i would and i want to really#but there's a large part of me that is still devastated by that and grieves this bc its a Requirement for me after a certain point to be in#less pain ): and like... idk i didnt want kids ever but also now as an adult ive experienced multiple miscarriages#(bc my condition makes my body hostile essentially)#and so its like..... extra grief.#idk im rambling in these tags
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this-doesnt-endd · 10 months
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Also I know its very hard to be a 911 operator and like ur trained to keep people calm and collected and to reassure people on the line it will all be okay but when i had to call for what i thought was an attempted break in she did not help whatsoever in fact i felt so much more stressed cause i didnt believe a word she said cause she sounded so unsure
#so i used to have such a major fear of being awake and turning to look at my front door and seeing the knob turn and the one night it did#i was watching fucking mindhunter of all things and i heard something weird looked up at the door and the knob was turning#it was 2 in the morning and dark and i quietly but quickly got up grabbed my pepperspray and my bat and went to look thru the peephole#and its just some fucking dude in a hoodie and hes like looking down at the knob so i cant tell anything and i go to wake my mom up#so hard to wake her and then when i do shes no help shes whisper yelling at me and i end up having to dial 911 cause she wont#and ive been down this road i tell her everything so efficently and clearly and quickly and shes asking for description#and i tell her thats all i can give her i cant see him and im watching thru the peep hole on the phone like tryna prep myself best w my bat#just incase i gotta use it and then he walks away a bit and stops and like stares at the door and goes and like trys to do the same thing#on the neighbors door but no ome lived in either at the time#and shes like well do u wanna go outside and like ive given her a real description at this point im just kinda narrorating at this point#and im like no and shes like are u sure? and il like yeah and he left to the parking lot at this point and i gave her every detail i coulds#but i like honestly couldnt make out much if his face cause he was looking down mostly and had a hoodie on#he comes back to the door and is doing it again and at this point im like mother talk on the phone im just gonna be ready#and we have a deadbolt lock which im very greatful for so i feel decently confident they arent gonna get thru it#eventually he stopped and left and no one and come to help and so it was kinda just like okay whatever then a bit after#two cops show up and they're like hey is it this guy? and my mom went to look cause i had jsut gotten a ton of adreneline#and was tryna not to puke and it was and they ended up calling emts#it turned out to be like an older guy and they were like he might have taken something but they were pretty sure he had dementia#cause if i remember right they got a simillar call and it was also him and they said they were told at some point that#he used to live in the general area#so they took him to the hospital to get checkd out#but 911 lady did not help at all and my mom wasnt any help either so i spent a good 2 hours being like okay be ready to bed broken into
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the-moon-files · 3 months
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Hi! I'm kinda new here but I was hoping to leave a request or at least something to chew on. So there's this genshin sagau where the reader has a bit of a language barrier with the other characters and I was wondering if that translated over to the Linked Universe as well? Like imagine the boys finding this random person with different clothes, accessories, and they talk in a language never before heard of? What are they, some kind of eldritch being? Meanwhile reader recognizes them obviously but frustratingly can't express any feelings asides from base concepts! Man.
Some funnies include; reader voicing more thoughts out loud now that no one can really understand them and reader eventually learning the language and getting a really sick accent out of it.
That's all my tired brain can think of atm so I bid you adieu. Have a good rest of your day :)
First Official Request!! :D oh and its amazinggg, ooOOO a language barrier AU, genshin? hm wonder who wrote that
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Reader wasn’t specified and ive adopted masc!reader as the normal over here, so masc reader it is 👍
Sun: Masc/Male Reader (”you”/he/him)
Orbit: EXTRA LONG Headcanons-ish/scenarios SORRY 😭, Language Barrier AU my beloved
Stars: The Classic Chain of Links <3
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, typical mild loz violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
so for the sake of even funnier confusion, lets say the boys kinda missed u falling thru a portal, and instead just see the portal, and it disappears w/nothing coming out
(bc u obv are a competent person and clearly recognize the giant horse head stable from Breath of the Wild and went inside, like to orient urself, u will NOT be a Y/N damsel in distress 💀)
the boys had already been heading to that stable to sleep for the night, and needless to say, u nearly have a fit LMAO
first, the Hero of Time walks in, then the Link from Hyrule Warriors, then from Link’s Awakening? Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom Link?? Wind Waker Link, Four Sword Link??? The original Legend of Zelda Link-!!!!
well at least u arent the only weirdly dressed person there
(well, u arent weird looking for the hylians in the stable, theyre used to this weird shit, but the Chain of heroes on the other hand…)
they get to observing their bunkmates for the night, subtly squinting at you, then turning to talk to each other, and slowly every link gets made aware of ur prescense, u didnt think u stood out that bad..
(”くいんね しら んらな すいそらきみについ ちみん らは かくちか まいていりすん はすらも んらなす いすち・”) *
it also quickly becomes obvious to every traveler in the stable that you either cant speak, or wont speak, as when ur exchanging money for rupees at the front desk, the owner is accommodating with you by pointing and grunting and ur just nodding and pointing back
well, its not like when u first greeted the guy u understood even a single thing the guy said, it sounded like some sub-dialect of Japanese or something
u had realized earlier with horror that the game was staying true to its creators, and that most likely everyone spoke a special version of Japanese and ur English ass was abt to be so lonely and confused 😭
Wars/Time/Sky/Four in particular clearly noticed u exchanging all ur currency, as u can see them whispering or glancing at you occasionally as u pocket ur now little green gems the size of coins, rather than strip of paper
(”しにし くい まなとかるるる みらか くちひい すなせいいと・ てくら しらいとみゃか くちひい すなせいいと・ かくちか くちとみゃか すいちりりん そくちみきいし らひいす かくい いすちとね くちと にか てにりし・”)
and the boys move on in the morning, and its acc torture for u bc u had no idea how to even begin to quell their suspicions enough to let you travel along with them
u think u could say u came out a portal, but.. how would tell them that? drawing pictures in the dirt?? 💀
and this just keeps happening.
even when u just try to admire from a distance or even outright just leave them to it and go off to explore Hyrule (as safe as u could after acquiring a weapon and some more clothes)
but its like fate (or maybe Hylia tbh) wants u to run into these legendary heroes (both kinda in ur world and definitely here) constantly
after the stable u manage to run into them in Kakariko Village, which wasnt crazy bc u needed more supplies, and it was the nearest town to the stable
ur sure they noticed, but u outright avoided them out of paranoia or making them paranoid u were following them, and u definitely saw who you thought was the hero of the Four Sword whisper about u as u walked by, not that u caught much
(”るるるかくちかゃと かくい とちもい とかすちみきいほりららのにみき きなん はすらも かくい とかちこりいる てい とくらなりし のいいせ ちみ いんい らみ くにもる”)
but you’d started to recognize some Japanese words! …and tbh anime is the only reason for that, something definitely like “watch, him” 💀
which rlly didnt make u feel any better, and u avoided them even harder, u bought a map, so u made sure to head in the opposite direction of them out of, lets be honest, kinda lowkey fear of what theyd do if they thought u were stalking them
but despite u trying to actively go away from them, either you, or them, would show up everywhere the other went,
you passed by Wind playing in the water in Zora’s Domain,
Twilight riding Epona around the plains in Central Hyrule, Sky hanging laundry outside Wild’s house in Hateno
Honest-to-fucking-god seeing Wars, Wild, and Legend all crossdress to sneak into Gerudo village- u cant fucking escape them-
and the worst part is, you cant understand anyone, other than some basic words atp 😭
its as the Chain come from a path that merges onto yours on the way to Rito Village when Legend snaps first
You’re not even surprised, tbh it was more surprising it took them so long 💀
(”にかゃと んらな!! ちきちにみ!!! てくん ちすぃ んらな はらりりらてにみき なと・ くらて ちすぃ んらな はらりりらてにみき なと・・ くらて ちすぃ てぃ はらりりらてにみき んらな・・!!”)
the look on ur face must have drawn some pity from Twilight bc he’s trying to talk Legend out of his yelling and pointing his sword at you,
(”ひいか そちりも しらてみ! りにのい んらな とちにしね に かくにみの ていゃひい ちりとら とらもいくらて こいいみ はらりりらてにみき かくいも からら!”)
Wars joins in, giving you a confused look, before talking to the group at large, most of which have their hands near their weapons, but dont look that inclined to use them, thank the fucking gods or whoever rules over Hyrule-
(”かくい すちみそくいす くちと ち せらにみかね かくにと すいいのと らは もちきにそ ちみし にゃも となすい にかゃと くんりにちゃと しらにみきる てい とくらなりし まなとか かすん から かちりの から かくいもね といい には かくいんゃすい いさせいすにいみそにみき ちみんかくにみき とかすちみきいる”)
oh no. they want to talk you, you barely picked out in their argument
Time nods in agreement, before stepping forward to talk first, you cant even imagine how anxious u look rn lol
(”かくい らかくいすと ちすい すにきくかね かくにと にと りらみき らひいすしないる もん みちもい にと かにもいね ちみし かくいとい ちすい もん かすちひいりにみき そらもせちみにらみとね ちと にゃも となすい んらなゃひい きちかくいすいし はすらも なと すなみみにみき にみから いちそく らかくいす とら もなそくる てくちかゃと んらなす みちもい・”)
why has Hylia forsaken you. what did you do to not receive some sort of fancy natural translator power in ur brain or something after getting portaled here, its the least she could do for fucks sake- talking to someone in a diff. language is SO much harder than just listening to them to understand what theyre saying-
you desperately try to recall the words people have said at stables and whatnot when introducing themselves, before they realized you couldnt speak the same language
(”Uh… もん みちもい にと… and I’m not following you…とらすすん”)
you just try to say ur name and then say sorry LMAO 😭
Nearly every Link is staring at you bug-eyed in shock, confusion, and understanding all at once
the Chain’s attitude changes pretty quick after that, and they quickly connect the dots after, yes, u do a drawing of a portal in the dirt 💀
u gather from the few words u can get that it was indeed magic (probably Hylia) that kept shortcutting you and the group of heroes together over and over again
she can move your position in space time and yet she cant get u an auto-translator after being forced to be here.
(in the middle of u drawing to communicate Hyrule manages to understand the gist of what you meant by that and laughs)
the Chain are quick to be very accomdating, Wars/Sky/Wild all offering to try and better teach u their language, but in return they want to learn yours?
actually, that was smth u noticed pretty early on in the ensuing weeks of travel, was the fascination they had w/English and ur voice??
Wind constantly rambled at you and poked and smiled at you to try and get you to ramble back, and after getting more comfortable around them,
u start to talk like they cant understand a word ur saying, which is entirely accurate, and you notice some like to lean in when you talk, or respond with humming/saying smth like u can understand, or even just gesture for u to keep going
Four/Time/Legend?? surprisingly/Hyrule/Twilight like when u get rlly talkative like ur having a one-sided convo w/them all the time, and they constantly are looking at you poinetedly to hear u narrate whatever ur doing or give a response whenever they same something at you (Rulie/Four/Twi/ and sometimes Time, (and he turns away but Legend too) give a little smile whenever you ramble)
Wild is Very Interested in your langauage, bc the Zora, Rito, Gerudo, and Gorons all had their native tongue that he ended up learning, and so he constantly makes notes to try and decipher some of what ur saying in English
he lights up anytime ur able to successfully tell him another something abt it, like the alphabet, or grammar or structure etc
they seem to pay attention esp in the mornings or late at night? ur not sure why until Wind both draw pictures and tries to get the general idea to you to explain
(”かくいんゃすい ちりり きちんる んらなす ちそそいみか にと くらか ちみし んらなす ひらにそい にと しいいせる かくいんゃすい ていちのる”)
smth abt ur voice being nice? deep? but theirs do that too? u dont get it, but thank him anyway
they also help u out at markets, keep out of trouble w/locals, and other misc tasks that need some language help
everythings going great, the Chain trusts you, ur getting better at their language every day, and bc English is one of the hardest languages to learn in the world, theyre slowly getting some of urs!
it isnt until ur camping out in the Temple of Time when things get weird again
Not only is there English carved into the walls, which u read as the Chain give u “explain now” looks and u communicate that the rlly ancient looking script they may or may not be able to read is, in fact, the written version of ur language-
but then another portal opens, and there’s sentences wrapped around the edges, which are fully in English too.
* = hint: JIS
So i love ciphers for language barrier AUs, so have a cypher! have fun decoding it if u like, but don’t worry abt translating it, as its purposefully not important for u to enjoy this :)
JFC IM SO SORRY AB THE LENGTH I WROTE THIS FROM MIDNIGHT TO LIKE 1:30 AM- UGH sometimes this happens when i get on a scenario kick, SORRY 😭😭
also so sorry abt late reply! at least i already established im slow w/u guys so ig its not a huge surprise 😭
tysm for the request it was such a fun idea to write abt :D
i also like genshin, just a little bit u could say, so it was cool to see this carryover across fandoms lol
language barrier is so versatile, could be angst, crack, etc. so that makes sense
have a great weekend!!
Peace out,
🌙
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dangopango00 · 19 days
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DEMONIC FEATURES HCS
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Random Om demon hcs + OM Demons x gn reader
Pt. 1 (Lucifer, Mammon, Levi) | Pt. 2 (4567) | Pt. 3 (Royal Trio) Coming soon
CW: suggestive but not much, just “slut” used in regard to clothing and vague suggestion of leviathan with two. 👍
A/N: ive had om since like fuck idk since that first genie event or sth WHATEVER the point is its been a MINUTE and i only JUST watched the anime 😭😭😭 theyre so sweet and silly i cant take witttttt i need to write for them i love them all so muxygehwhwhshshwbwb I swearrr om is one of the only otome where i can gaf about more than 2 or 3 characters
Also u should read them. All; I throw in general hcs too
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Lucifer: The Peacock
- I think his wings should have eyes in them like its such a missed opportunity for a reference to his animal counterpart (peacock), a reference to biblical angels and a reference to the fact that he always somehow knows what everyone’s up to and what their ulterior motives are. Ik he has a few on his outfit but it just doesn’t give that otherworldly creature dread feeling you should get when looking at a demon (Not to go on a tangent but when I see a hot demon character I want to be afraid of them but then go “wait why is this hot”)
- Also while he technically has 4 wings, I think that when he flares out his wings they should expand in such a way that makes it appear like he has more
- I imagine his wings stretch out and look bigger whenever he feels proud of and satisfied with himself— esp when he’s around you; its cute tbh but he also does it when hes super pissed; are you gonna take that chance? 🤔
- Imagine if the little diamond on his forehead was a closed eye and every now and again it opens especially when he feels as if his pride is threatened or when he’s generally angry. Personally I think that would be sick af
- I KNOW THE MARKINGS ARE JUST LIKE BIRTHMARKS BUT IMAGINE THEY FEEL DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL SKIN like Lucifer’s markings could be feathers covering his jaw and below (see: Howl Pendragon bird form, kinda) and they feel like real feathers too
- I think we all agree that whenever he feels protective of you he’d wrap his wings around you and shield you from anyone’s view but his own
- Keeps a feather on you (probably gives it to you as a gift) so he can keep an eye on you at all times (This is not a pun; imo he can see through the eyes on his wings when he closes his main eyes and opens his third)
- Pact mark spans from the nape of your neck to about 1/3 your spine (pretty big but not humongous) and is in the shape of a peacock feather but when his powers/benefits are used the barbs of the feather move in a way similar to fire and the eye in the center opens (it kinda tickles and/or sends a chill down your spine)
- Pact mark allows him to locate you in pretty much any place without an uber powerful magic barrier or like interference (Which I think would make sense considering he always knows what’s up + he DID say making a pact with him entails you are his and he is yours [since you can summon him wnv I think and command him to do stuff])
- Something he already does but I just noticed lines up with peacocks is tilting his head when he’s sick of everyone’s shit
- OH MY GODDDDD HIS WINGS DRAPE DOWN LIKE PEACOCK TAIL FEATHERS. HE HAS LONG WINGS. LOOK AT THIS AND TELL ME THAT SHIT WOULDN’T BE MAJESTIC AS HELL ON HIM
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Mammon: The Corvid
- I think his wings are nicely placed but I would make them curl/angle upwards more to more resemble bird wings (Ik Lucifer is the bird wing guy but hes a bird too 😞😞) kinda like this
- I think that while the bones are exposed on his wings, on the back of the wings there should be patches of feathers showing he lost them in his fall from grace aaaa 😫😫😫
- I know the demons have either wings or tails but like. Entertain this thought: Mammon with cute lil tail feathers 😭😭 mammon with a bird tail would just fit so well im sorry
- He subconsciously lowers/bows his head while talking to people he respects and admires (like you and Lucifer) like laying his head down on his arm or desk or sth
- Collects stuff that looks interesting— stuff he thinks he can probably use or fix up and sell. Pretty much proven but I feel I should emphasize how bad it gets, like he needs to clean his room at least weekly or his room will be full of junk 😭 (he js like me fr)
- Great at impressions; I THINK this was included in the story at one point (?) but idk so I will mention it here. Give him a voice and he can mimic it pretty well (Brothers would def use this to their advantage for silly little schemes if mammon weren’t charging an arm and a leg for his services gn)
- Will engage in anything he finds interesting and stimulating; the reason he sucks ass in school isn’t really because hes dumb but he has a hard time focusing on shit that isnt stimulating (that’s kinda how it is for most people but like especially for him, he indulges heavily into freedom/temptation; usually won’t do anything he doesn’t want to)
- Blinged OUT. More rings, a gold necklace thing (those thick round ones), more ear piercings and i like the drawing someone did with his fangs being gold however ntm as the absence of such things also shows his balance between his heavenly virtue and deadly sin (Charity vs Greed) and how despite his sin he really can be a modest guy
- Markings should cover his face and be little portals that let him summon grabby hands and sometimes he gets you stuff and sends it through the portal on your body (your pact mark)
- Speaking of pact marks, I think his is on your heart or right above and is like a dripping fingerprint that turns into a full blown hand print (maybe even the monkey’s paw?) when his powers/benefits are being used; Its hard to describe the feeling but when his hand goes through it feels like you’re gagged right then and there and its a little bit hard to breathe when you first made the pact because its a little uncomfortable but as you got used to the sensation and nurtured your magic ability, your breathing went back to normal
- I promised myself I wasn’t gonna get into outfits too much because they’re. Um anyway all I’ll say is he should have some slutty bellbottoms in his demon form idgaf
A/N: im so sorry mammon fans for the neglect i didnt know what to really put since crows are just like. Silly feathery black blobs
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Leviathan: The Serpent
- He should have poisonous spines on his tail that lie dormant but flare up whenever he feels strong emotion (embarrassment, anger, jealousy etc) and in relation to that he should have a few scales visible on his neck but more should appear leading up his face to his eye when he feels these strong emotions like his skin hardens and turns to scales (almost like how our veins bulge when we humans get very angry) it would be cool af ngl and kinda fits how his voice changes when hes annoyed (I SWEAR it gets all deep and like gravelly ig)
- ALSO i mentioned in another post but his eyes should become super snake-like (pupils slimming down) when he gets angry/envious but adding onto that, his pupils should dilate like a cat when he feels a positive emotion like excitement (though I think his pupils would dilate when looking at you lovingly, if you flustered him his pupils would constrict, not because its negative, but because he doesn’t know how to handle it)
- Grows much taller in his demon form imo since sea serpents are big as hell (he doesn’t become a giant or anything but he does grow like a foot or so which. He might as well be a giant bc hes alr pretty tall) Honestly I think all demons grow in their demon forms but he just grows an exceptional amount compared to any other demon
- Two…. Nvm iykyk fr a certified hood classic and i dont see enough of it in fics 😒
- Often accidentally sticks out his tongue while angry and bites his tongue and it just ruins the mood as well as any fear anyone had of him bye. Hes so goofy i just love him
- Long ahh tongue; snake reminiscent
- The back of his slut zip jacket should be vaguely shaped like fins + would it be wrong to say he should have slutty bellbottoms too? Can’t I dream? 💭 not as wide as Mammon’s though he’s not doing it like him fr
- Wraps his tail around you as if trying to shield you from public view with his spines whenever he gets jealous or protective
- I think it would be cool if the design on his jacket was a fishbone or if his tail was a bit translucent and showed bones inside (Ik tails don’t have bones generally but bear with me here) as a reference to how the Leviathan became a meal after being defeated
- Subconsciously moves slowly and methodically like the way he leans his head in slowly as you talk is very snake of him
- Big yawn (can open his mouth really wide)
- Pact mark is on the side of your neck, a bit closer to the front though and is shaped like a scale initially but grows into a very large patch of black scales with a purple underside, covering everything in the area almost like a bad rash when you use his powers/benefits
- Activation feels as if you’re being suffocated slowly, like water is slowly entering your lungs as the “rash” spreads at first but, again, as you get used to it this sensation wears off but a feeling that won’t ever wear off when activating the pact mark is the feeling that Levi is there looming by your side through the mark but just out of view whenever you try to see him; it’s a little maddening
- Can find you with sth similar to echolocation and it’s especially effective in water; can also spread the scales further with enough willpower and/or jealousy, basically creating a shield for your body
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emperorundying · 5 months
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TLT Dashboard Simulator- Pt 5
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💀 drearybruh Follow
10,000 y/o lyctor gf who exclusively calls me 'lovey': Ugh they're still debating the ethics of using cavaliers as a resource to suck dry, I can't deal with this empire today.
me [heard 'suck dry cavaliers' and got so hard i got nauseous]: I think I hauve devils in me
(2,710 notes)
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🫁 soulosexualll
omg guys im so sorry ive been MIA!!! the alexandrite id been talking about won custody over our baby so i had a bit of a crisis about my future on the fifth house alone and loved only by the spirits. and then of course i visit the third over vacation and get roped into a multi-week bender [have u ever snorted dried marrow? life changing] and then i was lost on the third for likeeeee four days and had to find my way back through hitchhiking and bartering with my own blood.
but i promise ill update my Joy/Patience/Duty threesome fic soon :333
#rpf #munposting #EEEEEEE GET EXCITED GUYS #joy strap time? joy strap time.... #i see ur messages in the askbox and i super appreciate them btw but i cant justify answering all of them #BUT I SEE U AND I LOVE U &lt;33
(42 notes)
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🦴 skeletal-system-bracket
SKELETAL SYSTEM BRACKET ROUND 3 GROUP A
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We had two ties last round [within a margin of error of .1%!!] , so we decided it would make the most sense to make this a four-way poll. Propaganda:
Occipital Bone: do you want an unprotected cerebellum??? the infernal surface is groovy af, and all the nuchal lines are actually goated. are u seriously going to look me in the eyes and tell me the three-part bone of all time [father son and holy spirit, anyone?] can even be stepped to by some normie basic bone shit???????? cmon..... [via. @skullfuckbonegod]
Fibula: VOTE FIBULA!!!! bone with a best friend <3 Tibia already got out round 1 so its ur legal duty to stand up for its legbestie... also my hounds r named Fibula and Tibia and theyre adorbsies [via. @sodiumradiation]
Thoracic Vertibrae: twelve bones. twelve bones, one combined goal: fuck shit up, take names, keep that back backing. least commonly injured part of the spine for a reason. its built different. this shit protects ur spinal cord, provides attachments to your ribs, supports your chest and abdomen, and literally lets yr body move. objective best bones. [via. @ithinkthereforisam]
Scalpula: Scapula sweep!! Those are your angel wings. Watching your Cavs shoulder blades move under their skin while they carry a big sword is the best part of being a necro. They're also just such a good plane of bone they're perfect for breaking up into little pieces for bone adepts to store in their pockets. Also the attachment point for a bunch of muscles!!and the yummy little joint cavity… [via. @kavkisser]
#polls #tumblr polls #skeletal system #tibia #fibula #vertebrae #scalpula
(450 notes)
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📷 devoutofmymind Follow
ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE EMPEROR HASN'T COMMENTED ON HIS FIRST AND SECOND'S SAINTS DISAPPEARANCES
📷 devoutofmymind Follow
For my Edenite followers this is like if gun disappeared
#ARE THEY DEAD??? #Bro r we upping the fascism factor #STAFF THAT TAG IS A JOKE. I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF INSURGENCY
12,345 notes
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🫀 gorewanker Follow
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I swear they're like the septum piercing havers of cavaliering 😭😭😭
🦀 xx-0ct0g0ne-xx Follow
Ah. So you're unable to handle the pressures which are expected of the average Eighth House devotee, and as such, fall back upon insecure insults. Get a life + Praying for you + L.
(923 notes)
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👤 boobmonger-deactivated-2917220
holy shit tower prince announcement this is crazy. liveblog time
👤 boobmonger-deactivated-2917220
TRANSMASC AWE??????????
(3,891 notes)
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🦷 bitingyoubitingyoubitingyoubitingyoux3 Follow
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(14,088 notes)
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☠️ is-the-emperor-undying-d34d-yet Follow
NOT YET BUT WE ALWAYS COME BACK
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aihaitahm · 1 year
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Hello! Do you mind doing headcanons of dan heng, blade and jing yuan with a reincarnated s/o?? Like their s/o died in the past long ago in a war or something but got reincarnated again, the s/o doesn't remember them right away, thank you so much in advance ❤❤❤
hsr men and how they react to reuniting with reincarnated! s/o!
cw death, ooc? gn! reader, more in depth abt blade’s lore so i hope its correct !! been looking into it. kinda angst —> comfort.
sorry for the wait!! been busy but hope u like it:3
characters: dan heng, blade, jing yuan
dan heng
up to this day, he remembers the promises you both made, what you liked, disliked and everything about you. although reminiscing does not hurt him like it used to, it still makes him long for your presence.
the type to get dreams of you and when you tell him in his dreams that you will most certainly meet again, he is patient enough to wait. maybe it was foolish to rely on dreams but his desire to meet you and love you again is immeasurable.
time passed by and dan heng was still waiting, wearing the bracelet you always wore. he would always fiddle on it when he is worried. maybe he should stop waiting? but what if you appear when you stop waiting?
when himeko and welt came back from an expedition, they brought in a new member of the astral express. their name happened to be (name) and they happen to have similar features to the one dan heng has always remembered.
dan heng’s eyes widened as he realized his dreams were correct. you were correct. he continued to stare at you while doing your introduction. you looked ethereal, you looked timeless as if youve never aged the last time hes seen you and it was like youve always been alive.
you caught up on his staring after you introduced yourself to the astral express and vice versa. you somehow cant put a finger on why he does look familiar but you felt at ease just being with him.
“um… dan heng correct? we have the same bracelet, can i ask where did you get it from? also do i know you?”
“i got this from someone who i used to know and their name was also (name). they made it for me.”
blade
after sacrificing himself to become a blade, his memory of you was not the best however he still felt the same intensity of emotions he held whenever he remembers your name. he doesnt know if its a blessing or a curse.
despite being blade, some parts of him is still ren. and ren has intense feelings for you. blade for some reason remembers the last argument you both had before you died. you were concerned about him possessing and delving into more power which lead to him being defensive and arguing with you.
as much as blade likes remembering you, your touch, your love and you in general, he cant help but harbour some guilt and sadness. he’d prefer if he left your name alone in peace. even though he wants to get to know you again and apologize, what was the point if you were dead. if your lives werent meant to meet each other again in any universe? it would be best if he just forgets about you.
fast forward and his bad luck struck him or this is probably in elios’ script but he was now arrested by the cloud knights of xianzhou alliance. it wasnt much of big of a deal to be honest but while in his cell, one of the cloud knights didnt have a helmet on, guarding his room.
he caught a glimpse of your face and this unlocks a lot of his memories as ren. how… timely, ironic it was to be held captive by your own reincarnation. its as if the heavens really planned it from the start.
you felt him staring at your face and which you snarled asking if theres something wrong. he just continously stared and smirked. you couldnt shake a feeling of familiarity with blade but aeons its an unbearable feeling but why would you say this to the general or other cloud knights… they might just interrogate you.
“you know if youre not going to answer my question well so be it. i know ive seen you in my dreams. i know we’ve met before. i know you know me from somewhere. but who are you?”
“you are bold as ever… but you should maybe figure out things on your own? its no fun giving you all the answers is it not? my new appearance is a clue, i’ll give you that.”
jing yuan
you knew jing yuan as your sparring mate whenever he was under jingliu and you under a different master. you both trained to becoming the strongest and maybe compete for the highest title of the alliance.
you sparred almost everyday with him. he enjoyed every moment he has with you. whether it was going for walks or eating food with you, it is a cherishable moment for him and you too. as you both grew into your teen years, you both happened to confess at the same time and became official.
unfortunately, your death caught up with you quickly. jing yuan was still quite young to experience grief but it didnt hinder him to train the hardest. jingliu wasnt in particular fond of you in the first place since you were distacting him.
without letting his master know, jing yuan would write letters to you everyday about what hes doing and how much he loves you. wherever you are he knows you both are in the same world or universe one way or another. he keeps most of your possessions because he believes it is his goodluck charm.
when he became general, he still wrote letters to you and even ask some of his servants to make a mini statue of your weapon to be displayed, in exchange for great amounts of money. he deeply misses you and he knows he carries a great amount of responsibility now that he is a leader. he secretly prays he gets to meet you again, even for one last time.
one faithful morning, he stumbled across a familiar face while shopping miscellaneous stuff for his cute mimi because he accidentally bumped into you pretty hard.
“ouch! be mindful of where you’re…. i-i apologize! i didnt mean to.”
“oh its alright it is actually my fault, i apologize. sorry to ask you this question but is your name (name)?”
“yes it is… why do you ask?
… on second thought i think you look familiar asides from the fact youre the general, i feel like i’ve known you before.”
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yongislong · 2 years
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physical insecurities + dreamies.
genre: nct dreams fav insecurities on other people, fluff, angst if u squint and shake, suggestive? nonidol!dreamies but not specified tbh
note: i dont think there are any cws... i thought this would be a cute idea. none of these are things that i think people should be insecure about but rather things ive personally been insecure about and things that other people have mentioned make them insecure if that makes sense haha, lmk what you think, if i wrote something that sounds weird or could be taken the wrong way please let me know, not proofread
mark... stretch marks. thinks stretch marks are so cool, like actually thinks they're so hot. likes to trace them when you both watch a movie together, its so second nature to him. when you told him you didn't like them he was kinda lost. he's like 'what, dude you look like a painting." likes them especially when they're deep/dark but doesn't care where they are, likes them when you have them in places only you and him can see as well since it makes it more personal. heart eyes for you always and isn't corny about it, he makes you feel so hot about yourself deserved. encourages wearing whatever you want regardless of if it shows the marks because he'll always be there to hype you up. also likes that his name is in the name LOL
renjun... noses/side profiles. ADORES big noses and unique side profiles. tells you its a challenge for him to draw because he HAS to perfect you on paper. can't stop looking at you. traces his fingers on your nose all the time and loves when it's cold out and the tip of it gets all pink and reddish hehe. compares you to paintings all the time, its in his nature. once he meets you, he goes on a mission to try and perfect drawing your side profile even before you guys began dating. even going as far as to sit next to you in lectures just to be able to sneak glances at you LOL. nose pecks and boops all the time
jeno... plus sized people. TO ME i feel like plus size people are the joy of his life. hates when you're an adult and people either infantilize or sexualize you for being plus sized because like damn... it gets on his nerves lol. never thought it was that big of a deal other than the fact that he thinks you're a god among humans. just finds you so gorgeous and you're such a beautifully stark contrast from what he looks like, that its such a good balance in a sense of like everyone wants what they cant have, yknow? just loves feeling how smooth/curvy and soft you are??? he's obsessed with everything about you to be honest. never makes you feel fetishized or weird. #1 defender. takes couple pics by standing behind you and placing his palm on your lower stomach YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABBTTT
haechan... crooked teeth. OH MY GOD thinks its literally the cutest thing ever. he didn't know you didn't like your smile until he caught on to how much you would cover your face whenever he would make you laugh. he would make it a point one day to tell extra jokes and catch you smiling so he could grip your wrists and pull your hands away from his face. takes this as an opportunity to GUSH about how much he loves the way you look when you smile and how cute your teeth are and how much you remind him of a bunny, or a certain animal hehe. WHEN YOU SMILE INTO KISSES?? he loses his mind. likes to pull up the corners of your lips whenever he's a bit sad because he claims seeing your pearly whites will recharge him haha
jaemin... round faces. GOSH, oh gosh he is obsessed. always pokes your cheeks and runs his thumbs on your cheekbones whenever he holds your face in his hands. likes it when you put on a lot of blush because it excentuates your face shape. LOOVES when you smile and your cheekbones lift up sm and you look so glowy yknow?? cheek pincher and squisher. oh my god i've said this before but he thinks you look so adorable when you wake up all puffy because it makes your cheeks and face 10x more round and soft. likes pulling your cheeks and taking off guard pics with your eyes shut tight, hand reaching for his to make him stop. does that thing where he sucks your cheeks with his mouth LMAOOO. you are his soft angel baby
chenle... acne. it doesn't matter where the acne is, he never minds it or makes you feel bad about it. likes helping you with your skincare and putting cute pimple patches on any marks or blemishes. he has acne too im sure so it's nice to be human, yknow. never understands why its an insecurity to you because he thinks its the least important thing about you. always tells you how having acne never makes you any less pretty. always encourages you to wear tank tops or clothes that may show body acne because he thinks it doesn't matter. and not in a bad way like he would never ever dismiss anything that would upset you, i think he would just try and make it a point that some acne is never gonna change how attractive you are to him. shoulder kisses always
jisung... thick thighs. ON MY SUNG THICK THIGH ADGENDAAA he loves them sm. likes playing with them like silly putty. doesn't matter if you have big thighs but hip dips, wide hips, flat butt, big butt, like he does not care he just loves your lower body in general lol. can get suggestive with it once you get closer in your relationship but also just likes poking and playing with the fat and skin on your upper thighs for funzies. runs his hands on your butt but so genuinely innocently lol. you are his best pillow. likes laying in between them while you do things. head on your stomach with your legs on either side of his head, runs shapes on the outer part of them with his fingers. knows how when he squeezes your legs with rings on, you jump from the cold metal, he thinks its funny lol
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ind1c0lite · 1 year
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FINALLY yall get to see this lmao, basically Ive had an au (??) rattling around in my head where Apollo decides to hire Kay, a private investigator, to help him find and track down his birth mother, shenanigans ensue, some more things abt it under the cut (feel free to ask anything abt it it lives rent free in my head JHKLJ)
-Most likely takes place a year after SOJ- Though I havent actually watched it for myself yet so Im just going off of info from the wiki HGJKHL
-Kay is 26! shes been a PI for about 3 years now and has gained a rep for being VERY good at her job
-Apollo approaches her with basically nO info or leads and while its gonna Make their job MUCH harder, Kay decides to take it on anyways on the condition that Apollo acts as her assistant during this case
-Basically this is just Apollos lil secret mission for himself, he doesnt tell anyone else abt it since its so emotionally heavy for him
-Im not sure exactly /how/ theyd do it, but I do know that Apollos bracelet would be the best bet after looking through way too much paperwork, probably via finding out what its made out of it since its a special kind of metal
- Basically it'd go like: Find out who commissioned said bracelet > turns out it was Magnifi Gramarye > Uh Oh.PNG > Theres only one woman who was in Troupe Gramarye > Apollo crisis whenever he sees Trucy now > He needs more proof though beside that > Kay finds an older recording of Troupe Gramarye, Thalassa is seen out of costume, wearing both bracelets > Well it cant be just coincidence now > He Is Now a lil Magician man > Now they have to find Thalassa > Turns out shes dead > find out that she didnt ACTUALLY die, Magnifi faked her death> not sure how they would get from here to finding out Thalassa is Lamiroir > Also find out that Phoenix has knwon this entire time and didnt tell either trucy or Apollo > mixed emotions over aLL of it but GOD Apollo is just happy to know his mother is still alive
-I like to think that Trucy joins Apollo and kay at some point in their investigation since shes directly involved at that point
-Maybe a small side plot where Apollo hasnt told Kay about the perceive thing and so he knows shes lying about /something/ unrelated to their case (the whole being the yatagarasu deal)
-overall I think Kay and Apollo would be good friends they could ABSOLUTELY match each others energy and it'd be a good time, they're trans girl trans guy solidarity
-It /c o u l d/ be like an Investigations like plot wheres theres different cases that all tie into the greater mystery OR finding his mom is the focus of it Im not totally sure yet hjgkhlj
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Do you have recommendations for shows/books/whatever with canon/basically canon polyamory?
ok the only media w officially canon polyam i personally consumed are Iron Widow and Hades.
Iron Widow is a mecha scifi/chinese fantasy book, it has pacific rim mechanics, so it takes 2 ppl to pilot the mecha but its more dystopian in that the pilot (male) usually drains the life force of his concubine (female). the mc has a guy shes interested in from the start but she pushes him aside to seek her goals to become a concubine pilot (theres a very good reason for this but i dont wanna give too much away) ends up being forced to work w the most dangerous pilot (spoilers hes actually a misunderstood sweetheart and i love him), her first love somehow finds his way back into her life so he can be their ally and its very clear from the first time he meets the other guy that this bitch is bi af. At one point he literslly saves their lives and i wont elaborate on that cause again spoilers but someone mentioned it in a propaganda ask. They canonically fall in live w each other and start dating. Please look up the trigger warnings first cause theres some heavy subjects addressed in this book. The book itself has trigger warnings listed at the start so if u find it at a book store u can check them this was too.
Hades is a roguelike videogame w dating sim mechanics (ish) -you give gifts to characters to learn more about them, and theres two romance options but you can romance both at once, they're both aware of and okay with it, hinting that they mightve had a past even before zagreus was born (its greek gods one is death incarnate the other is one of the furies, they've basically existed since forever)
From the submissions I got:
ive been told Leverage is like the korrasami of polyam, as in they were as polyam as they could be in a show from 2010, so it sounds like its canon but not explicit because they couldnt get away with that.
The girls from Amphibia are apparently in a similar situation, heavily implied canon, someone told me it was confirmed by people who worked on the show, but i dont think its explicitly stated.
The Kane Chronicles apparently also has canon polyam, although its 2 bodies, cause I think one of them has a god in him or something? I never read the books, but I was told Sadie (i think thats her name? The girl) is in love w both of them, and kinda dating both too i think?
I dont know if Singing in the Rain is canon but theres that kiss gif that got prrtty popular on tumblr where kathy kisses one of the guys then the other, so it looks canon? or at least implied canon?
Sense8 as some people have mentioned has 1 officially confirmed to be canon throuple, 1 that has a lot of hints to confirm but a lot of ppl see it as a gay couple w a very supportive friend ig and someone else said in general because of the plot u could kind of see the 8 of them as a big polycule, although that one isnt canon
HoneyWorks/Heroine Tarumono is one of those songs turned novel turned anime. i dont think its confirmed canon but theres a lot of stuff pointing to the possibility, you mightve see @non-fantasy telling me about them in a few asks. im obsessed and ive yet to watch anything
Penumbra Podcast: Second Citadel has Rilla/Sir Damien/Lord Arum, i also haven't listened to this one but a lot of people told me rilla and damien were in a pre-established relstionship, both got crushed on lord arum separately, talked about it and worked things out to now be a canon polycule
im She-Ra (netflix) theres a trio that is implied to be a polycule at the end, a lot of ppl called them canon in the notes but i dont personally ember it being confirmed? i am very forgetful tho. It's Rogelio/Kyle/Lonnie, unfortunately they lost the prelim round
I believe people submitted some others that were canon but im very forgetful so i cant remember right now
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malachitefields · 12 days
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(original ask by @highestside got lost so ive artfully recreated it, not that you would be able to tell by my phenomenal editing skills)
this is very much my “1 like and ill write an essay” topic so thank you for the excuse to yap!
this is all in the context of this batsplat post, which i cant really build on if im honest so will be referencing/drawing parallels as i go through rather than stealing from thanku pls go read that first
im writing with the knowledge that most ppl who follow me are motogp so wont necessarily know figure skating, so ill do a little introduction to yuzuru (probably yuzu from here on out) so u guys can all join in because i think youll love him. hes truly marc-levels bonkers insane mastermind babygirl.
if you know it already or just only care about the mind games/mental aspect of it feel free to skip past!!
so heres our guy! yuzuru hanyu (born december 1994, saggitarius, name means “a bowstring pulled tight”)
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now retired from competitive figure skating in 2022 because he would “no longer seek those kinds of evaluations” (i.e he was sick of being underscored and everyone else overscored and it wasnt fun anymore so he was going to skate at a competitive level elsewhere like a maniac), yuzu is a 2-time olympic, 2-time world, 4-time consecutive grand prix final, 1-time four continents, and 6-time national champion. he is the only man to achieve what is known as a “super slam”, a grand slam in both the juniors and the senior divisions (athough he wouldve achieved it a lot faster if he hadnt been cursed to only ever achieve 2nd at 4cc, but thats another story). hes the second youngest man to win the singles olympic title (after dick button) and the first man to successfully defend his olympic title in 66 years (also after dick button, ironically).
he broke 19 world records, the most of any skater in singles since the introduction of the GOE scoring system in 2003 (dont ask what we used before that you dont want to know). he was the first to break the 100 point barrier for the short program, 200 points for the free program, and 300 overall, and he did at one point break all three of those records (which were all his) in one weekend, 2 weeks after hed set them. if you want to see what the crowd reaction to that one was like, take a look. the impact of those two weeks literally cannot be overstated, yuzu blew not just the field, but the entire sport so far out of the water that they replaced the scoring system because there was no way anyone could get close (its also probably the catalyst for the severe deterioration in scoring, but thats a whole different discussion)
now ive given a smidge of a background on yuzu (which is tldr he is largely considered the greatest mens singles skater of all time), ill give a bit of comparison between the two sports.
like motogp, fs is hugely a mind game for all of the athletes. while it doesnt exactly involve death, there is certainly a lot of the good ole body horror aspect (i have seen skaters dislocate their shoulders and then just pop them back in to complete their program), and there is comparatively less time to make sure you get things right while youre in competition. that seems ideal on paper, but unfortunately singles figure skating is not exactly known for its lack of errors! (yuzu notoriously won his first olympic title having fallen over twice in the fs) its pretty frequent to see a skater panic over a mistake early in the programme and then just snowball into a big mess thats cost them points.
unlike in motogp, there is nothing to assist in going faster or doing more other than your own body. and when all of your competition time is crammed into 2-4 minute slots, it becomes necessary to keep doing more in that short space of time in order to beat out your opponent. as a result we have ended up at what is referred to as the quad revolution, where the ever ramping up need for more technical complexity demanded more difficult jumps. in this case, jumps with 4 complete revolutions in air, rather than the 3 revolution jumps that were common for a long period of time. adding more revolutions to a jump requires a bigger jump, faster turning, and a larger g force on landing. currently this is thought to be about 13-14g, which doesnt sound like a lot in motorsport terms where going around a corner in an f1 car puts 6g on your neck, but a) the human body is much better as surviving high g forces that are horizontal as opposed to vertical/along the spine and b) they are landing on one foot (always the same foot!) in a inflexible ankle boot, on a piece of metal, on a sheet of ice, on a concrete floor. theres not exactly a lot to cushion the impact other than the grace of your own ankle and knee, and if you fuck that up youre going splat on the ice full body. so the repeated strain is there! and to add onto that, the error truly costs you as there is no cumulative points system across competitions. meaning the maximum 5 (6 if youre in an olympic year) major international competitions really count every time. you could win every major competition of the year up until worlds, but if you croak just enough there that someone outscores you, sorry but youre not world champion this year! so while theres not usually any death in figure skating, its high risk-high reward nonetheless.
never being on the ice competing at the same time as someone else also brings a weird dynamic to the table here. where you are in the running on the day can play a lot on the mental state of the skaters, so if theyre in a close competition with a rival and the rival has just skated a personal best, the pressure is on (more on this in a bit lol). this means theres not really any pressure you can put on a rival mentally during a programme the same way you can with a race. that pressure has to already be there before they step on the ice, or they have to create it themselves.
yuzu specifically largely reserves (or seems to at least from an outside perspective) his mind games for the press rather than his competitors. quite often his competitors do end up as collateral damage though, as they dont exactly know much that the press doesnt already. i think this is a important thing to keep in mind when thinking about quote unquote “mindgames”, as its easy to look at everything an athelete does in a high stress environment as being intentional. marc for example, and his classic towing so he can observe competitors. he benefits in that it may unsettle or stress out the competition, but it may just be for observation purposes in most cases if thats all he really wants to know/gain from it. batsplat mentioned poor rookie fabio getting the observation treatment, which sure could be intimidation tactics! it could also just be curiosity and strategy planning to account for a good rookie on a decent bike, though. once people have voiced an opinion on your actions that others have noticed it can catch on as the assumed intent, even if it wasnt the case at all. but if youre marc marquez and everyone assumes that you play mind games while towing in practice and is unsettled by it, you probably wont bother saying anything about it because it ended up benefitting you in the end.
figure skating and motogp (moto racing in general) are extremely different examples of spectator sports:
a sport that many people find entertaining to watch.
you’ve heard it all before so i almost dont have to say it, but valentino rossi is show, marc marquez is show. they’re such engaging and interesting figures to the spectators not just because theyre technically phenomenal, but also because they are aware of how to engage the spectator. yuzu is absolutely no different, just winning is no fun if its not fun to watch. if we think back to how common errors are in fs, you can imagine the drama of a situation like this (which is how he has described his ideal win):
“I'd like to be in the position where, no matter what happens - even if they skate their free skate clean - if I skate clean, I will win." from here
what yuzu has been after his whole career is undeniable dominance. and i compare it to this quote from marc which rings exactly the same:
“I’m a winner and my mentality will never change. These guys are not better than me” from there can be only one s2 ep3
on face value yuzus quote seems very different than marcs, much more passive in the way it conveys the same intent: that they are better than the rest. but heres where the mind games really come in. theres been a long running argument in figure skating as a result of the quad revolution between whether focusing on athleticism and technical skills was the future of the sport, over “artistry”. basically all of the mens singles skaters at the elite level now all focus on the former as its what gives them more points, with yuzuru being basically the last frontier of elite level “artistry” skaters. there was a lot of back and forth in the media about it, with most of the mens skaters arguing that athleticism was more important, and that the new generation was bringing that aspect to the sport (implying that yuzuru wasnt).
anyway, king of the very subtle but destructive media dig that he is, yuzu dropped this notorious quote:
“That so-called balance between [technical] difficulty and artistry, to me that doesn't actually exist. Artistry is founded upon absolute technical prowess, that's what I think.” from here
damning as that quote is on its own, the context was key in its own right. this was delivered at the official olympic press conference immediately after yuzuru had won his second olympic title, specifically (it seems) as a response to discussions about nathan chen in the media.
nathan had been a favourite to win the 2018 olympics in part due to his differing focus on jumps over,,,,,, well basically everything else in his programs, but also because yuzu was injured shortly before the olympics and hadnt been seen in 4 months. in the end he only came 5th, after landing himself in 17th after the short program after panicking.
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remember what i said about a rival skating a personal best just before you had to skate? lets quickly have a look at what other skaters say its like to skate immediately after yuzu on a regular competition, or even look at him:
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i swear on my life i have a distinct memory of another skater saying that not only does no one look at yuzu before skating, but that COACHES TELL THEM NOT TO FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. i couldnt find that source, so maybe i made that one up.
this isnt exlusive to skaters that dont know him either, roman sadovsky and nam nguyen were both training mates at toronto cricket club for years with him (and very friendly) and still said this:
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its noticable to fans and press as well, this contrasting idea of someone who is completely normal backstage, but particularly a menace on the ice
“I have been watching Hanyu for a long time and have had the chance to chat with him on many occasions. There is a contrasting sweetness and innocence backstage in conversation to the “killer” who comes out to skate. I have often said, you can see it in Hanyu’s eyes when he takes his opening postion. It’s as if it’s a choice he makes in declaring “this one’s mine””
this distinct aura, if you want to call it that, is something we also see with marc, where he also unnerves opponents, in part because of this monstrous technical ability meaning you know youre at risk, but also because its just straight up scary. batsplats post did a really good job of dissecting how we know marc is probably intending that, but yuzus a little harder to pin down. hes much more subtle than marc in a lot of ways with potential affects on competitors, and theres less need to target specific people than with motogp because youll never come “head to head” with someone in figure skating and therefore need to know their specific strengths and weaknesses (although he definitely does, hes said that before, it just doesnt impact his skating unless they have something he wants to emulate, which became less and less common over time.).
but its still definitely intentional in my eyes, as david wilson, who choreographed for both him and yuna kim (largely considered the goat of the womens singles division) also speculates:
“When I worked with Yuzu, he told me that Yuna was his idol. He idolised her. And I don’t think it was just for her skating, I think it was the way she did it, the way she commanded those four years. You know? He wanted to be that kind of a force.” from here
and here we are back around to the concept of undeniable dominance!
its at this point that i want to discuss probably the most similar aspects of marc and yuzus mind games: being lying liars who lie when it comes to injury when it benefits them
its body horror time!
yuzu has a fantastic track record of not disclosing injuries anywhere outside of his immediate circle and competing anyway in ways that shouldnt really have been possible.
for one, this dudes asthmatic, like he literally used to turn blue in the face sometimes at the end of a program when he was a teenager. one time he just laid face down on the ice at the end. i have no idea why he picked this profession, hes literally said it hurts him. just another point to add to the “bonkers crazy insane” chart i have of him and marc in my mind.
he got silver during the 2016 world championships on a hidden lisfranc injury in his left foot, which is a type of mid-foot injury common in *checks notes* car accidents and contact sports. they werent sure at the time if he was ever going to be able to skate again because even walking was bad, but he still skated at the gala afterwards, which led to probably the most beautiful but also sopping wet sad performance ive ever seen, followed by him dropping the news he was really fucking injured and might never be able to skate again and then going completely radio silent for months over the summer break (end of season). id say that was a one off but he skated at the olympic 2022 gala knowing he was about to retire from competition and hadnt told anyone yet so clearly it wasnt (nico rosberg eat your heart out!) he just likes drama.
but hiding injuries isnt uncommon, and is definitely not that much of a media mind game if you really think about it! what is though, and is very reminiscent of marc and that goddamn arm, is the injury on the run up to the 2018 pyeongchang olympics (remember me mentioning that?)
if we rewind a bit to autumn 2017, yuzu has just won his second world title after delivering what is largely considered to be the greatest figure skate of all time (and a historical record). yuzuru is running a fever during practice at nhk trophy right at the start of the season, and ends up severely injuring his right ankle (his landing foot) doing the highest scoring jump anyone had actually landed at the time. the injury happened live so he couldnt really pretend he wasnt injured, and he goes into complete media blackout for the next 3 months, missing the entire season before announcing he’s competing at the olympics to defend his title. i would like to emphasise here: nobody had fucking seen him in 3 months, especially not on the ice. in the meantime, nathan chen had had a pretty good time scooping up wins and had made himself the projected favourite for the olympic title due to no one knowing fuck all about yuzurus condition.
the first time yuzu was seen on ice was the first of several practice sessions for the mens singles (nathan had already competed in the team competition but yuzu hadnt skated). these are a media frenzy due to yuzu at the best of times, not to mention him being at this point only about 4 months out from a ligament injury on the foot he was meant to be landing 13-14g on repeatedly.
“The real highlight of the skating day on Monday came not during the team event upstairs in the Gangneung Ice Arena, but downstairs in the evening at the practice rink long after the crowds had gone home. That's when defending Olympic and world champion Yuzuru Hanyu made his first appearance on Olympic ice.
Hanyu went through a light workout for 15 minutes that primarily involved strokes and just a couple of jumps, before departing. He attempted no quads during his time on the ice. He did not appear to be in any distress or favoring any part of his body.” from here
the media, who are absolutely ravenous for any information about his condition at this point, get basically nothing out of this practice session that might give away his chances at defending the title. the other skaters definitely didnt either, but that was fine! there was another practice session in a couple of days that might give the game up as to whether he is beatable!
except he uhhhhhh didnt give them anything there either
“After a fairly intensive practice in the main rink on Tuesday morning, Hanyu took a more cautious approach this time, focusing mostly on strokes and steps.
He attempted just a handful of jumps, including a quad salchow, quad toe loop and a triple axel.
When Hanyu's short program music to Chopin's Ballade No. 1 played, he went through a run-through of it without any jumps. The question now is if that was just a precautionary measure to avoid injury or if there was some other physical reason.
Hanyu departed following the training session without making any comments to the media other than “thank you” as he walked through the mixed zone.” from here
he basically just fucked about for a while, did exactly three (3) major jumps so the media got excited, and then left. which was hilarious to watch the media fallout of if hugely nerve wracking at the time.
so for the men who have a chance at the title and therefore want to know what state hes in, all they now know is that hes capable of some of the major jumps at the very least. so hes not completely out of the running, but the lack of intensity is making it look more like his chances are slim. one of the few things people do know is that hes on painkillers.
the lots for the short program running order is drawn and yuzuru is skating immediately before nathan chen, so nathan will know what state yuzuru is in before he even starts competing. while yuzu is poker facing it completely, nathans been hugely dominant this season while yuzus been off, and yuzu looks like hes playing it safe.
hes not.
so much of this is body language, crowd reaction and attitude, so id absolutely watch the performance at this point if you can, with the knowledge that his assumed closest competitor was going immediately afterwards and the media had been effectively calling his downfall for the entire season.
in summary, its a monster of a performance. at 111.68 points its just shy of 112.72, the world record hed set in september just before injury (among people who score recreationally as a hobby, its pretty consistent that people think this should have been just above, and therefore a new record) he literally flicks both wrists and drops the smile off his face after hes finished, and then comes off the ice saying “im back”, where nathan steps onto the ice while they spend the next SIX MINUTES clearing the rink. i mentioned earlier that in figure skating theres no way of affecting another skater mentally while performing, and that it has to be done before they start or done to themselves. by sheer chance of the program running draw, this was the equivalent of waiting until the last second to deliver the blow. yuzu leaves that day having given the impression that hes totally recovered and nathan ends up in 17th. in the end yuzu wins again and nathan climbs back to 5th. this would have been a pretty incredible mind game even without it seeming to very much throw nathan right off, but i guess it was a bonus in the end.
fundamentally, i think this worked SO well because it was a reminder of basically everything that made yuzu someone to fear, someone COMMANDING in the first place. yuzus radio silence had not only benefitted in that it took some of the pressure off him, but that he had (for the first time in quite a while) made himself an unknown quantity. everyone knows what hes capable of at full health, everyone knows hes intimidating and a show to watch! they hadnt seen him in months though, and there wasnt really a clear sign of the old yuzu during practice sessions though so the doubt crept in. despite him being only 23, hed injured both feet/ankles in the span of only 2 years, and the sport was very distinctly going through rapid changes at the time. it seemed possible to some that he just wasnt able to keep up at his level of repeated injury. he wanted a dramatic return and he got it.
marc and his various methods of reminding the grid what hes capable of so hes a constant presence in their mind is like a dripfeed version of this. yuzu has his own ways, usually more passive, of reminding everyone of this. his most obnoxious one is definitely talking about the quad axel though.
axels are the only jump with an additional half rotation, the takeoff faces forwards and they land backwards. this makes it the most difficult of the entire suite of jumps for each additional rotation. triple axels are a staple for the mens field as the highest ranking of the triple jumps, but a lot of them just are not good at it (everyone has better jumps and worse jumps, axels just seem to be a lot of peoples achilles heel)
yuzuru is obnoxiously good at them, his signature jump is the triple axel with an entry called a back counter, which changes direction and blade edge at the last second making it appear like the jump comes out of nowhere (this in itself is a showman thing) its the most difficult entry for a triple axel anyone does, and hes the only person who ever really bothered trying because even for the highest level skaters its ridiculously hard.
at the point in time of the 2018 olympics, every jump had been landed as a quad apart from the quad axel. and there was a reason for it: the predicted minimum scope needed for this jump was HUGE, at least 70cm high and about 4 metres long. vertical nba jumps are the same height. NO ONE EVEN WANTED TO TRY THIS FUCKING JUMP. there were discussions about just bypassing it and going straight for attempting quint (5 rotation jumps) instead THATS HOW BADLY THEY DIDNT WANT TO DO IT.
yuzuru, having now been forced to admit that a) he actually was still very injured (only 20-30% recovered) and was immediately going back into recovery having defended his olympic title and b) the painkillers didnt do shit so hed been in excruciating pain the whole time (although had gone completely painkiller loopy during gala practice at one point) decided that this was the opportunity to remind everyone that he was still very much the guy to beat despite the media talking otherwise, and announced that thats what hed decided he wanted to focus on next. just to put a little pressure on the field who thought the difficulty of their jumps gave them the edge. truly bonkers crazy, even nathan chen thought he was insane for that one.
hed mention it every so often, and did practice during public sessions on a couple of occasions, which was INSANE because he was very clearly getting closer and closer over time. this thing looked unreal to see, effectively because its bordering on the very limit of what the human body is actually able to do. the first quad jump was landed in 1988, the quad axel was landed (eventually) in 2022. thats how long it took to get there.
the effect this gave was a constant nipping threat on the heels of a field that was at this point pretty much all younger than yuzu (figure skaters retire EARLY). he had his own alien status well and truly secured, but the public reminders where you could tell he was getting closer were OMINOUS. you looked at that the same way you looked at marc when he does a save that doesnt look like it should be physically possible, no matter how good you are you will not be able to pull off whatever that is. it makes you nervous.
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this is about marc and also literally from today but is a perfect explanation of the control they both have over the way they communicate.
“Amazing the control he has, not only on the ice but in his life. He controls his choreography, he controls his music. He is just a master at this game” from here
everything is thought out and considered, everything intentional. it means you pay even more attention to their comments even if they sound cryptic. you place more weight in them because you know they are valued and considered.
i’ll wrap it up here as this is ridiculously long! there is a whole other essay i could write about yuzus taste for the show, everything from music to costume to the off ice performance but perhaps another time lol.
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stevie-petey · 5 months
Note
hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH
(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)
i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!
enjoy <3
"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.
jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.
"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.
steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."
jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."
"i dont believe you."
"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."
steve stares at you, shocked.
"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."
"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."
"i did."
during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.
"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"
"yeah." you both say at the same time.
steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.
"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."
jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."
"im right here, you know."
steve winces. "sorry."
"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."
jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.
shes too good.
you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.
now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.
the kindness is yours, no one elses.
and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.
you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."
jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."
steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."
"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.
its all you could ask for.
even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."
and its enough.
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
Note
hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)
also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO
if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3
AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!
A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)
I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D
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NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:
So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.
You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!
Thank you so much for reading! :)
___________________♡_____________________
So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)
Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??
So like, this ends up happening
Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual
And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life
And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)
And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"
And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here
He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles
So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house
And is like "??...Creator??"
Then kinda stops bc ur just like-
"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO
And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,
And everytime u pour it just-
... "EJACK! Come, water!"
(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)
...
..
And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"
So of course,
He waves, 👋
And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙
But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???
(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)
U look up, very confused 🧐
He seemes frustrated.
Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?
...
...oh no.
Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?
Instead of English??
Well.
Shit.
...
.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago
And found this abandoned house
It just gets worse 😭
Bc slowly, one by one,
Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you
(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)
At one point, even Zhongli shows up
And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??
U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?
...
...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face
So ur tending to the garden saying,
" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀
...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-
...
(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)
And it just snowballs even more, and now,
None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡
(Other than ur vocal stims)
...
Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"
You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)
Ganyu & Keqing: "..."
You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"
Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"
"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"
Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3
And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,
"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."
(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)
Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"
By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀
...
(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)
Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️
Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔
Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh
Lower ur expectations LMAO
Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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mariatesstruther · 10 months
Note
I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.
I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?
okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go
i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie
ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves
shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.
i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut
ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay
ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is
okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec
y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man
we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could
point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show
tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”
tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for
and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)
but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love
so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is
again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do
but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE
so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive
and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????
so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY
we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.
(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)
and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming
so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)
AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy
the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too
so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.
i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????
it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda
but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”
WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES
maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to
so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE
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