#cant talking shit when you look like
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Spider God is kind of an asshole
I swear I make serious art I’m just unmotivated rn LMAO
anyway it’s 2 am and I have a 15 hour drive tomorrow this was not smart to make. Goodnight
#spiderman noir#spider noir#spiderman#my art#my wife#comics#spidermannoir#marvel comics#spider god#??#that it’s name?#just that?#no fucking idea#anyway#bros kind of an ass#cant talking shit when you look like#back acne#goofy ahh#animation
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toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections
#this is my punishment for actually looking at yt comments isnt it#deltarune#kris dreemurr#maybe im looking too much into things but...#it also feels sorta. misogynistic when ppl default to he/him for androgynous/non binary characters#like ive seen multiple ppl use “well its understandable that ppl assume kris is a he when they have such masculine behaviours/hobbies”#the masculine behaviours and hobbies in question are being a prankster#i shit you not#like they called pranking... masc?? huh#can girls and others not get their silly on anymore??#also like i said before with the exception of like frisk and chara like almost every nb character is masculinised#like napstablook monster kid#god there has to be more but my memory is shit atm and i also have to go eat dinner#but i wanna talk more abt like why it feels so misogynistic to me#i thinnk it has to do with the fact that defaulting to he/him just makes women feel like an afterthought. ig like unless its confirmed then#they must be a guy to be relevant or smth#and also like how much they gender entirely non gender specific things (see: pranking)#ofc it wouldnt be BETTER per se if they imagined these characters as girls but its smth ive noticed and i just get frustrated cus#it feels sexist but i cant FULLY articulate why#i feel like i had the answer a lil while ago but i forgot#i might come back to this who knows#wow ok rant over#for now
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the last SEVERAL sarcastic chorus videos im just gripping my hair with increasing intensity yelling MAN I TRUSTED YOU
#sir. sir. why are you talking like you think the show is delaying or ignoring stolas' arc. SIR-#HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS ARC tHE MIDDLEEEEE NOTHING IS BEING IGNORED OR PUSHED ASIDE WE JUST HAVENT *GOTTEN* TO IT YET AAAAAGH#'i don't look down on you when have i ever' isn't poor narrative framing its a CHARACTER FLAW you are SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE IS WRONG#just because it hasnt been addressed clearly *in this episode* doesn't mean it's being framed as valid or correct it just means it isnt#the FOCUS of this episode. this is BLITZ's episode this is BLITZ's relationship behavior patterns being put under examination#we do not have TIME to address stolas' remaining unconscious biases in this 21 minute episode and even if we did hb isn't a show with#that kind of pacing. we do shit an episode at a time here sir#have you already forgotten how annoying it was when they tried to do two things at once (cherubs/dhorks team up AND#stolitz crystal breakup) one episode ago???#guys i cant keep doing this why is everyone so bad at comprehending apology tour for some reason HELP#mine#helluva boss#helluva boss apology tour#e: apology tour#sarcastic chorus
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ever see a man so pretty that your ears stopped working???
(source: https://x.com/GalitzineHQ/status/1801407131465249132)
#like whatever you say beautiful#holy shit he looks divine#hes talking about something important to asdgjkl but my brain phsyically cant#no wonder he's always feeling himself when he's blond LOOK at the material#nicholas galitzine#red white and royal blue#rwrb
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i f. i fucking forgot a pencil so i cant scribble out this Thought i had while on a lil road trip today - basically i was thinkin about Wally, as ya do, and i asked myself why does Wally eat with his eyes? its such a Fascinating yet somewhat Out Of Place choice for him. how did Clown come up with that? its so unique. it stands tf out.
and then i remembered Frank & Poppy's convo for their 'bug' audio, and how he says "you eat with your eyes first" and like... thats a real phrase. ive heard it in my life. & it set off lil alarm bells in my head the first time i listened to the clip, i just hadnt connected the dots yet. so its feasible that thats why Wally eats the way that he does - and an in-universe explanation could be that Wally heard the phrase before he could learn how to eat 'properly', and took it literally
essentially:
Frank: you eat with your eyes!
Wally: *rdj meme format* you eat with your eyes
#also dont have wifi so i cant type out my musings on my laptop#and typing on my phone kinda Hurts#so! this is a note to myself to Talk About This and Scribble a silly thing Later!#in a couple of days!#no wonder he only eats when no one is looking....#they all eat Normally but hes over there like 'oh shit oh fuck i dont know how to do that. uhhhhhhh'#i imagine he heard it and immediately internalized it forever#core memory. this action will have consequences. new skill unlocked. this cannot be undone.#wally just casually fucking with the laws of reality.... good for him! good for him#i mean why not!#its not like he knows what reality is! or the laws of physics! he doesnt have to obey what he doesnt understand!#someone says You Can Do This and hey. look at that. he can!#and wow this beef jerky im eating tastes like chemicals.#absolutely unprompted#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS. FOR HOURS. DYING TO WRITE IT OUT AND POST#BUT I WAS IN THE CAR AND I GET CARSICK SO EASILY#so i couldnt....#but now! now i am in this motel! relaxing! not moving! AND I CAN POST!!!!#anyhow i really need to get on posting more Thoughts bc i have so many#on wally's behavior on other characters & dialogue choices and just!!! Agh!!!!#speculation galore!!!!#ill have to wait though! sadly!#damn. i cant draw i cant Post. whats a bitch supposed to do#good thing i brought my crochet project smh#and a book <3
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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what do you mean you don’t think you’re gonna be buried at my side
#I CANT STOP LAUGHINGGGG AT TOMS EXPRESSION IN THE THIRD SHOT HES LIKE. AND THATS THAT ON THAT#HES SO RIDICULOUS!!!!! I LOVE IT WHEN HE'S UNHINGED#greg you DUMMY if I get fired if I die you are coming with me!!!!!!#greg: he likes me so i'm safe tho#tom: huh???????????????????? how is that relevant???? we're one and the same????? if i die so do you ??? you're my soulmate? lmfao#the only mf you can trust is ME or did you forget that. idc if he likes you you're MINE and only i will take care of you#WHO HAS EVER LOOKED AFTER YOU IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY#ALO THE WAY HE LOOKSA T HIM WHEN HE SAYS THE HIGHEST PAID ASSISTANT GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he can't even talk shit any more without looking at him like he's everything to him TOM YOU ARE SLIPPIIIIIING#''its the family death march'' stop SAYING that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 WE GET IT YOU COUNT GREG AS YOUR FAMILY!!!!!! YOU COUNT HIM AS#YOUR EVERYTHING!!!!!!! I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!11111111111#tomgreg#yall just. just ANNOYING#also alsooooo the fact that tom was like did i do good? did i sound good? like greg was his little spouse brought along to a#work meet thing. that sounded good to the boss right? what do you think honey? sounded okay?#i hate them fr#ALSO SUGAR BABY GREG! SUGAR BABY GREG! SUGAR BABY GREG! S
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i think elden ring will always be my favorite game in terms of environment. every area is so impressive, even the copy-paste stuff manages to be impressive with atmosphere, and the amount of just. stunning-looking locations is wild especially with how natural even the most amazing looking shot you can find is.
just the fact that you unavoidably see this when you walk into leyndell is incredible. one of my favorite environment views in all of the games ive ever played
#you can walk on the dragon. you can find your way through the city and climb up onto the dragon to reach other areas#i love this. it doesnt just look fucking cool but its a tangible part of the world and you can go and interact with it#elden ring#salty talks#i just. the music paired with the masterful fucking angle you get of this when you enter leyndell proper.#its so cool im so obsessed with this i wonder was it was like when they got this right in development#this game is so visually incredible even the nasty ass fungal infected diseased caelid is really pretty#like???? i need to know how that shit happened. this is the biggest like. man i need to know what caused this.#idk if the screenshot is all that great i spent a while playing with the angle and where my character was standing#i dont think i couldve gotten my character out of frame and i wanted the walls on either side#to kinda show how you see this while leaving through a hallway. you literally cant miss this if you go in leyndell the normal way#i found the warp chest you can only see the top of the dragon's wing from where the warp chest puts you#anyways seeing this for the first time practically had me frothing at the mouth the environment design in this game fucks.#even the poison swamps
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#this is very silly but#when my brother drinks out of a cup he sticks his pinkie out right#and my mom is all over him. saying how it's so cute and “proper”#but when i did that as a kid she would get so mad#saying im copying fancy nancy or some shit#and that it's a bad habit and i look like im trying too hard to be fancy#keep in mind i was seven to nine#and like. this is a pattern#things that i would do and get my mom severly annoyed gets a “he's my baby boy 🥺”#leaving his schoolbag in the middle of the floor: awww he's a baby dont be hard on him (to my dad)#he is twelve. when i was twelve i would NOT have gotten that reaction#it was “i cant keep cleaning up after you”#and when i have both headphones in i get yelled at because i wont be able to hear whne they're calling me#he has SOUNDPROOF HEADPHONES that he wears CONSTANTLY when hes on his ipad. its impossible to get to him without literally tapping on him.#when i talk toher about it she's like “no??? i would never do that???? you're making up memories again i dont like being accused like this”#“i dont think its fair”#im just. please this hurts. its silly but it does hurt#just. UGH.#vent
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if he has 5000 fans I'm one of them, if he has 100 fans I'm one of those, if he as 1 fan I am that one, if he has 0 fans I have died and gone to hell to see him personally. I rest my case
#demos ramblings#good omens#its 4 am i should be asleep but i wanted to finish rewatching ep4 s2 dont @ me#unless its to talk abt him then do @ me#free my man he did all that but i don't care#he just wanted that promotion and he deserves it give him a raise in whatever currency they got down in hell#fucking satan bucks or whatever#i cant be the only one who likes him come on#someones always gotta carry the weight of being obsessed with a side character no one gives a shit abt and it might as well be me#oh look its 4:20 am yippieeee (i am not in control of my actions rn)#goodnight everyone ill see you tomorrow when i regret this post
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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"i need to know if this character is an adult or not so i know if i can selfship with them!" ...my dude you clearly are already attracted to them ??? like. gurl theyre FICTIONAL. do whatever the fuck you want god damn.
self ship with them with them aged up. or with an imaginary version of you aged down. or just hc whatever gd age you want for them whether or not it ends up being canon (or its already stated in canon but doesnt match ur view of them). or selfship yourself with them through a character in canon. you can literally just see your fictional other as aging with you. who fucking cares. its fiction. the specifics of the relationship is whatever the hell you make it.
its literally so sad to see people being afraid to just SELF SHIP because they dont know if its potentially ~problematic~ depending on stuff they can easily just rule out of their own view of canon 💀 canon is your sandbox you can tear down the castle and build it anew however to your liking
#im glad that shadow is canonically immortal and hiei has no stated age#bc if people tried to give me shit for being in love with either of them i would fucking kill someone#i fell in love with shadow years ago through shipping him with rouge and i still love him now. he ''ages'' with me#and hiei i technically hc him as nearly a hundred but hes a demon#and i selfship with him through kurama who has also lived for centuries so#i swear you dont have to drop off your fictional crushes from your teen years when you turn an adult. you can just see them as aging with u#just. man. OTL#seeing ppl being like this is so sad fr. this shipping discourse shit is making ppl walk on eggshells over the littlest shit#anti fanpol#like its different for real life bc yea sometimes u cant always tell someones age by looking at them#u can find someone attractive and talk to them and find out theyre too young for you. so you back off#but like. this is fiction. things arent set in stone. the creator can make a time skip for the characters and so can you#and plus. theyre NOT REAL. you wouldnt be harming a REAL PERSON. and its not at all comparable to the suffering and abuse of REAL PEOPLE
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no fucking wayyy dude
#so you kick us out of a sever for saying people shouldnt joke about child rape/assault#and say u have evidence me n a friend were talking behind ur back#so you unfriend us n kick us out of yhe group#instead of oh idk talking about it with us like a mature person#you constantlyyyyy say ur trying sooo hard to get better at communicating but thats suchh bullshit u js want people to feel bad for you#oh sorry i think joking about raping a child is disturbing and gross#sorry me n my friend were talking about that together#not spreading “rumors” or even talking to other ppl about it#js airing problems out to eachother#literally go fuck urself youre such an entitled asshole#you use your mental illnesses to make people feel bad for you and get mad when they dont#sorry im not pitying a cis white girl who lives pretty comfortably financially in a safer part of town.#i cant even tell if she realizes how attention seeking she really is#the excuse of saying we were talking shit in a channel or whatever is literally suck bullshit#if i said something about the child rape jokes in a channel and you know its about you Obviously you should take a fucking look at yourself#Also not to mention when we got in a fight you said shit to my Face in “your channel” that made me go into one of the most dissociative#paranoid episodes in my life Ever. making me question my fucking morals and shit#how fucking up your own ass are you#whatever talk to me like a fucking grown up if you think youre so mature asshole#<- sorry this isnt about anyone here but im so fucking mad its like#genuinely disgusting#venting
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slams fists down on beautifully crafted oak desk
#uh started the rewatch Now .Earlier ;; THEY HURT ME SO FUCKING HBABBDNDFGPOGGr#I CRIED LIKE FOUR TIMES WHILE WATCGUB THE FUCKING PILOT#it just lays it all out so perfectly#the entire time morty was like protesting to rick and complaining but when jerry was kicking him out he defended him#I cant. theyre smiling because of eachother#god i looovoreergkt how much of the stuff rick says to morty is to impress him teach him or just scare him#like the way rick blows stuff out of proportion just cause he wants to see how morty will react hes . so obsessed with him#for tHE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE… MORTY HAS A FRIEND:&!:#and they’re so. they like speak fondly towards eachother rick is way more soft and earnest when talking to morty n morty is outwardly#impressed and fascinated with the things rick does from time to time and he trusts him#and all the emphasis on how rick sincerely only gave a shit about morty. whenever he talks to the rest of the family it’s either exaggerated#or blunt and if mortys there then hes all rick focuses on#and how it’s repeated rick Needs morty to help him . no one else not even someone more helpful and agreeable nope just morty#if it’s not morty rick doesn’t want it at all#and like even as early as the cold open for the pilot. you can see rick become impressed when morty suddenly becomes assertive once he-#actually hears the bomb and starts getting up and trying to kick rick off the drivers seat#big tough guy all of a suddenLIKE YOU CSN TELL HE DIDNT EXPRCT THAT AT ALL AND HES SURPRISED#ive been thinking a lot lately about how . one of ricks favourite qualities about morty imo is his sense of morality and refusal to just-#take stuff when it reaches a certain point. like he Loves that side of morty so much and doesn’t mind too much when it comes out because of-#something he did. yeah that part in the pilot cold open is like the first thing of that go back and look at how taken aback rick is#and i love how sheepish rick is around morty every now and then. like he so clearly tries to look cool to him and to know what he’s talking#about he needs to twist everything to be correct . all the time but also in front of morty specifically#crazyyyy crazy how he managed to find the one real morty#ohg. uitltogfo ouhkdfjrjp iuubbvv ? ledjndflfidnf#odiespeak
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IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board
it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.
but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭
also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out
[video source i screenshot from]
MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.
like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"
but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl
and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE
ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior
and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]
alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!
#SORRY i post extremely long rambles about haikaveh when i KNOW most people that follow me do NOT give a shit about genshin#i like like. maybe 5 people do#and also a lot of the stuff i say will in fact be repeated things#and like. stuff that is old news LOL me when i discover air or whatever idk leave me be#i need to process my feelings via word vomiting thats what tumblr is FOR!!!!!#if i cant directly dm spam one or two people about Character then i have to do it on tumblr#and make it everyone else's problem#fuckin. god. when alhaitham was released i only summoned for him on a whim#bc my FRIEND was like wow i really want this new guy#and i was like ooo looks fun ill try too#and hes like one of my best dps units actually lol hes SO strong#and im fucking obsessed with him and kaveh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad i pulled for them both and got them when they first released!!!#i think i only got kaveh too bc i had really wanted baizhu#who is a fuckin great healer btw. theyre my dendro trio teehee#IM IN THIS GENSHIN VORTEX ALONE bc everyone else i know that plays is on a break or doesnt care or w/e#so im like ok fine. ill just descend into madness about characters BY MYSELF!!!!!!#and by that i mean i will post on tumblr dot com talking to my self#which is what i used to do anyway. ive returned to my roots my default state of habits#holding haikaveh so firmly in my hands YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND#actually it's one of the most popular ships in the game so. im sure many people understand. probs understand better than i do tbh#however? im on an island.
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another weekend, another job rejection!
#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal#Of Working In A Fucking Library#just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises#anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or#graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal#relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and#be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges#i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is#everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me#2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to#go further into debt#anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s#everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333#like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails
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