#cant hold a fucking sword now bitch

[ent-is-indecisive]

Yes there were monsters everywhere and an architecture that wanted me dead but at least i got to use my sword and made some ren fair friends

[supermaks]

Top 10 essential Verstappen races list please!

I habe been watching since I was a literal infant but I kinda took a break from 2014 until 2018 so I missed a lot of teenage Max lore. Now I treated myself to some f1tv for Christmas and want to rewatch a couple old races!!!

Malaysia 2015 Baby boys first points on his 2nd ever f1 start. Drags that lil toro rosso to q3 and then beats both red bulls. Also very funny to listen to the sky commentary because they dont take him seriously at all but he keeps doing things with that car he shouldnt be able to do so they have to keep talking about him and they're so annoyed about itnklfdjgkfdj

Singapore, 2015 classic max race. car d1es at the start. somehow makes it back on track 1 lap down, waits for his main character moment. gets it on lap 13. breezes past the field. gets told to swap positions. literally yells 'NO' and does not do it. U thought brazil 2022 was shocking, well. Educate yourself

USA, 2015 first of all there was a whole hurricane happening bro like a literal hurricane everything about thsi race is like .. what is going on. Hello. Is that Elton John???? Mind you, its Max's rookie season. Austin with wet conditions is the race track equivalent of a fucking minefield I think like half the grid retired. And still, u will witness that lil boy bring the fight to Merc and Ferrari. He actually fought Lewis and Seb Vettel for a podium. In a toro rosso. yeah

Spain, 2016 anime protagonist race. lil babby makes the jump to the big sister team amid much mockery and controversy, and wins on his debut. I can't say this enough. Max has made a career out of owning up to bitches. Every single time. Mercs take each other out, Danny ric gets inexplicably put on a 3 stopper ((lmfao)), and Max holds off fucking RAIKKONEN on DRS!!!! for like a billion years. Not a wheel out of place. And not even his defining moment of the year. For that, u gotta go with--

Brazil, 2016 He became MOTHER age 19 in Interlagos. Nothing else to say. if ur a verstappie u gotta watch Brazil 2016 like twice a year for ur troubles

China, 2017 just a super underrated race imo. Imma go on a tangent for a bit sorry but one of most insane aspects of Max's move to f1 is that he did so with 1 year of experience in f3. Like f3 had been the strongest engine he'd driven up to that point. f3 cars are fast but they're not f1 fast. So Max was supposed to be like a lil squid in a bowl of sharks. To anybody else it wouldve been extremely intimidating and scary to make that jump and its likely they would've sacrificed speed just because they didn't have that confidence in the car yet. And there'd be nothing wrong with that, thats just normal. Well Max never did normal. Seb put it perfectly and Im pretty sure he's not the first driver to comment on this, but Max goes for moves that nobody in their right mind would even dream of attempting. Shit that takes a special type of instinct, but more than that, a complete lack of fear. And with that comes the other side of the sword, which is the recklessness. Max was a reckless driver. A lot of drivers can be reckless, especially if the car doesn't allow them to just cruise to podiums, but Max was a child. This race is so important in his curriculum because it solidifies that his recklessness is not foolishness, but necessity. Bro passed 9 cars in one lap and held off danny ric with older tires. This after a disaster quali where he finished second to last because of an engine problem. To come back from that and get a podium the way he did, its a character drive. It showed who he was and Max was the future

Mexico, 2017 here. Yeah

Austria, 2018 quali is a must watch for this one. Listening to Max educate his engineers on 'discipline' for even DARING to ask him to pass danny ric prolly makes that move to Renault less confusing. Like u cant fight that. That is not a mf who will ever let u win a world title. But he didnt show it just during quali. This race is important because u can compare it some of his most dominant 2022 victories, in a car that would literally spit out its own tires and explode if Max idk farted or something.

USA, 2018 ok I'm biased but max has never come to the US and not served. Idk why its kind of funny but every time he steps foot in here he stunts and gets super wet and looks amazing. He's also absurdly good in US circuits for no reason. Like Max says, u gotta know how to defend not just attack. Prolly one of the most impressive defensive performances from him here, against none other than sir hammer herself. Lew had fresher tires and a championship winning merc and still couldnt crack lil bro with his renault engine, cap and a dream. Also they literally installed a whole new curb on the track specifically to make drivers stick to track limits and called it the verstopper and that. literal tears in my eyes yk look at this shit

Look at her . anyway

Enjoy thjs humble selection of our fav boy genius/fbi most wanted best hits. Next up

✨😤 Part 2 😤✨ Part 3 🧨🧨🧨🧨🧨

[brunossan]

RWBY JAUNE WITCH HUNTER AU

Part 5: Cardin

*After Jaune gone missing for almost a year, The Witch Hunters Academy decided to send one of his best Hunters to go after Jaune. His name is Cardin, and very few know but he and Jaune... Were not friends*

*Right now, Cardin is going towards The Forest where Jaune was last seen, trying to find The Red Witch...*

Jaune: Ok... *He is in the Forest, removing its sword from The back of a Dead Boar* Ruby May like this. Lets see, fish for Blake, Boar for Ruby, Mushrooms for Weiss... Yang likes Steak right?

*Suddenly a branch cracks in the woods, Jaune pointing his sword towards the noise direction.*

Jaune: Who's There?!

Cardin: Wow. Now the Deer Boy wants to scream like a Wolf *appearing from behind a tree* Hey there, Deer Boy. Got everyone in the Academy missing ya.

Jaune: Cardin? What are you doing here?

Cardin: Oh the usual. The best hunter being sent to find The Worst. Typical things. Now lets see you! You look... *Jaune is wearing his armor, that is not rusty anymore* different.

Jaune: Yeah i... Got some friends.

Cardin: Right. You, The weakling of the academy, have friends now.

Jaune: Yeah, and they wont like you.

Cardin: What did you say?

*Cardin walked towards Jaune, who just lowered his head. Cardin was The one who picked on him in the academy, even beating him up at some points. Jaune didnt liked him, and specially not fighting him.*

Cardin: Tell me, Deer Boy. You really think that living in the woods, hunting wild animals and foraging! *He slaps The basket of itens from Jaune arm, making it go to the ground.* Would make you BETTER than me?

Jaune: ...

Cardin: You are right. It wont. Im just here to bring you back to the academy so your goddamn parents just shut up about losing their favourite baby. Now-

*Cardin looks up, noticing something. It was The RWBY Witches shed, and Yang, Weiss and Blake were arriving home.*

Cardin: Son of a bitch you were tracking them. The Snow Witch, The Faunus Witch and the Fighting Witch!

Jaune: Wait, Cardin! Dont go there, please.

Cardin: Why not? Should i remember your stupid ass brain what they are? They are witches! Servants of Salem, The Witch Queen! And they are made to be killed!

Jaune: Not them!

*Cardin stared at jaune with a flabbergastered expression, until he realized. So thats why Jaune disappeared. Why he looked better than before.*

Cardin: ... You are fucking them.

Jaune: What?

Cardin: So, now you are not a Witch Hunter, you are a Witch Layer? Wow, you really surpassed yourself. Or maybe... You are under a spell. *He unsheat his sword* And the only way to end a Witch Spell is killing The Witch.

Jaune: What are you going to do?

Cardin: Watch and learn, Deer Boy. Thats how you kill a Witch.

*Cardin walked towards the shed, but Jaune got on his way. He was holding his sword and shield, staring at Cardin.*

Jaune: I cant let you do this.

Cardin: You really lost your mind.

Jaune: Yeah... Probably.

*Cardin attacked first, Jaune defending with his shield and kicking Cardin, launching a cut with his sword, cutting Cardin cheek. Cardin growled, lauching several cuts, Jaune defending with his shield and sword. Cardin was impressed. Jaune really got better. Suddenly, Jaune pressed Cardin against a tree with The Shield, sheating The sword and punching him in the face.*

Jaune: Im not Deer Boy, im not a Weakling! *Punch* Im Jaune Arc! *Punch* And i will not let you badmouth my family or hurt my lovers!

*the last punch of Jaune sunken The head of Cardin on the tree, making a hole big enough to make the Tree fall, calling the attention of the other 3 witches in the Shed. Jaune looked at Cardin smashed face on the ground, panting. He Beat up his bully, but now everyone was about to discover what was going on. His friends were in danger. What he could do now?*

*Suddenly, he felt something hug him from behind. It was Ruby. She was Hugging him with a very fierce but comforting grip.*

Jaune: Ruby...

Ruby: Shh... *She hugged more* Everything is gonna be ok. Ok?

*She Kissed his cheek, and this calmed Jaune. Yes...*

*Everything was Gonna be ok*

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 148 not so early analysis

Bit later than usual cause college and I wanted to look into something from part 1.

Fumiko has been continuing the trend of being absolutely useless in every situation shes ever been put in to the point I feel confident in saying she CANT fight. This clearly isn't a kobeni situation where she can fight if necessary because she hasn't even really been trying to fight or protect anyone. It's the point I've actually started to believe the theory that Fumiko is actually Aldo in disguise.

For a refresher Aldo was one of the american assassin brothers who got picked off at the beginning of the arc by Power and Yoshida respectively. However Aldo survived the entire arc and has been awol ever since. He's also surprisingly durable since he survived both of these attacks with minimal injury.

He may or may not have been hit by halloween, Given his facial expression I it seems like he's faking it especially since Halloween was used on the doll devil and so should logically only effect her dolls which Aldo is not.

I went back through these chapters expecting to find a smoking gun that could prove this to be true. Specifically I was looking for a scene where he or one of the brothers was holding an ID card which could be matched against the way Fumiko holds it, But I did not find that.

This is the best I found but it's also standard practice so it isn't good evidence. Back to the chapter itself, It's clear now Quanxi is just going through the motions

She's clearly been lacking when it comes to combat and athletics in these previous few chapters in comparison to her original appearance. She's been sort of stumbling through these chapters with the help of her regeneration. Which is a bit strange until you keep in mind; Quanxi is more than likely SUPER depressed. The last time we saw her before this was when she fought Denji and the previous time before that was when everyone she cared about got murdered by Makima. It's probable that she blames herself for it because she took the job to kill Denji and thus got her and the girls into the situation that killed them in the first place.

Fuck you looking at bitch do something

The transition between these two pages is so good I had to do a double take because my immediate though was that Quanxi was the one who got her arm cut off. But then obviously it's Asa's. You can feel the inspiration from good movie transitions here.

This whole scene is very cool and also very interesting because Asa is able to block Yoshida's sword with her barehand. She got such an amp from the chainsaw fire attacks that she can do this. It also means she has basically the same base stats as yoru. Which is to be expected but I think is interesting.

It seems like this page was drawn before the rest of the one in this sequence because Yoshida is busting through a wall here despite the fact Room 606 was just destroyed; Thus there should be no wall to bust through to escape onto the street. Interestingly the other personality is absent in this scene entirely. We never see Yoru and Asa in the same panel which is an interesting choice. Its probably a creative choice to only have one of them around in major action scenes. Feels like a good time to mention a theory I saw on twitter. I've been trying to find it but I've had no luck. If I can find it it'll probably be apart of next week's post. To summarize the theory; Asa and Yoru are the same entity. Not two separate beings in one body. Asa the human we met at the beginning of part 2 has been dead since the justice (fire) contract user killed her. The Asa we see now is a split personality reconstructed using the intact memories in the body's brain at the time she became a fiend. If true it means Asa is an alternate persona created by Yoru in order to cause more conflict within herself (constant internal warfare) and as a coping mechanism due to the chainsaw devil massacre in hell. Its an interesting theory I want to put on the board incase something happens with it especially since Yoru is growing in strength rapidly. Probably how Black Pochita was schooling them during it.

[amazingmsme]

idk if anyone has already sent this in (it feels vaguely familiar) but if they wore helmets like this

i can see a small group went to like scout ahead and they were supposed to be silent to spy on the small group of enemies but Elpenor felt that tassel part tickle the back of his neck and he cant stop himself for letting out a small laugh or something and it gives them away. everything is okay and nobody ends up hurt but nobody ever let him live it down and is commonly brought up while drinking. after the incident they trim the back part off so it wont happen again

Don’t worry, this is the first I’m seeing of this! & I had no idea about the lil ponytail at the bottom, I thought it was just the crest! But omggggg that would be so fucking funny & embarrassing for him! Like bitch you gave away our position because you’re ticklish? Have fun telling Odysseus why the enemy ran away & y’all got 0 info

OR what if it happened while they were all hiding inside the horse & he keeps squirming & rubbing his neck & he’s trying to stifle his laughter. But then Odysseus walks up holding his sword & he’s looking pissed. He slams a hand over Elpenor’s mouth & raises his sword & Elpenor’s internally freaking the fuck out but then he just cuts the tail off the back of his helmet & lets him go with a harsh “now shut the fuck up”

Poor thing will never live this down

[hantheheart]

uhhh another one cause im brainrotting

Isekai Imagine: Arthur Pendragon (King Of Chaos; 4 Knights Of Apocalypse era)

this one goes out to all the bitches who got salty about the absolute whiplash slap of a character change in our boy

(its me, im bitches)

👏Second 👏verse, 👏same 👏as the 👏first!👏

You wake up in a big fancy ornate room and find that you've somehow body swapped with some wildly beautiful woman, though you only see her visage in reflections and yourself when looking at yourself.

As you're attempting to take in your surroundings, you hear a banging at the massive ornate door leading into the room.

"Princess you must escape, hurry! He'll be here any moment!" The person on the other side calls and, in your panic, you snatch up one of the ornate swords from the wall.

Their scream is cut short as the door is flung open.

The two men at the door are familiar enough that you feel the blood drain from your face.

Chaos Knight Ironside holds someone- presumably the person who'd been trying to warn you- by their throat as some indescribable horror magic warps them.

Your breath is stolen from your very lungs as a man with wild orange hair and purple eyes enters your room.

The King of Chaos himself smiles at you and bows at you. "Greetings, Princess. I apologize for the commotion." He acts as if he was telling you about the traffic on the way here, but the blood on his cape and shoes have you raising your sword.

("if it were me" moment but)

panicking from the impossible situation, you cant help becoming a bit delirious

"Now, Princess-"

"NO, you stay- haha- stay right the fuck there!" You point the sword directly at the King who holds up one hand, looking surprised.

"Excuse you, how dare you speak to-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP IRONSIDE, YOU CRUSTY ASS BITCH!" The man physically flinches, eyes wide with anger but Arthur motions for him to back down.

"Now Princess, let's-"

"QUIT CALLING ME THAT, I don't know what the fuck is happening or why the fuck I'm- *wheeze*- who the hell I am! But you- hahhh- do not come any ffffUCKING CLOSER!"

His gaze hardens and he frowns. "You need to calm down, I don't wish to harm you-"

"Oh but the blatant MURDER of assumedly everyone in this CASTLE is fuckin' FINE, IZZATIT?!"

You laugh, breathless and dizzy with fear and confusion, stumbling back from the door. Your body is shaking, but whether its from the adrenaline or panic is hard to say.

You back right out to a balcony and stop with your back against the railing.

Arthur tenses as you start to climb back onto the railing.

"This is some- fuck- this is just some crazy fuckin dream! And I- haha- I am not FUCKIN with this anymore."

And you fall

A giant hand made of stone rips from the side of the wall to catch you and as you lay there, dazed and lightheaded, Arthur appears over the railing with a relieved sigh.

When you wake up again, you're in a different ornate bedroom but there are no windows or even a door

As you get up, a door appears from the wall and someone enters the room.

"Oh hell no, what the fuck is this"

"You speak quite crassly for a princess."

Arthur motherfuckin Pendragon has the gall to bring his bitchass in the room and give you this gentle amused look

"i... no. I have not been awake long enough to fuck with this." And back under the covers

"Not even curious as to where you are?"

"just woke up dude. im not even a person for another hour"

the door shuts but you have the very distinct feeling of not being alone in the room

You roll over and stare at the man who's pulled a chair from thin air or some shit and is simply waiting

"You really gonna do this? Just sit here?"

"I'm curious about what you said before. Whatever made you think that was a dream, let alone how it seems you knew my Knight by name."

You sit up and you can't help but glare even as he laughs.

"You's a whole bitch."

"You are quite the interesting person." He leans forward, crossing one leg over the other as he smiles at you.

"Yeah, I wonder why."

"Do you know why I came to your kingdom?"

"Not a clue."

He holds out his hand to you. "I've been on the search for a bride to stabilize my rule. Though, after that little stunt you pulled, I didn't think you would be safe in that place."

"You mean you kidnapped me."

"You fell from a balcony on the fifth floor. Was only right I make sure you receive medical care from trusted aides."

"And this plays into your search for someone dumb enough to marry your tyrant ass?"

"Tyrant is rather cruel." You can see his jaw clench and his hand tense. If this is a dream, this is satisfying as fuck. If it's not.

Fuck it. When are you gonna get the chance to tell off one of your favorite characters for being an asshole?

"What the fuck else am I suppose to call the jackass who thinks kidnapping people and who knows how much fuckin murder you've done? And I'm sure you've done a million other fucked up things by this point"

Oh he looks about one wrong move from yeeting you into the afterlife and for a second -just a second- you consider toeing that line

just one more

he throws his head back and bursts into laughter

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy getting to know you, dear."

And he gets up, that chair vanishing

"Wha-excuse me?! the fuck does that- don't walk away from me!" But he goes, out the way he came and the door vanishes behind him, leaving alone in the room once more

[sunshine-on-marz]

Go for the heart

——— -technoblade x reader- ———

Enemies to lovers

Royal AU

Tw: blood, slight gore, weapons, fire, death, fighting

Cw: not angst but not all fluff

————————————————

“Sylvee, where are we goinggg” you whined, your maid and one of your best friends had dragged you from the training grounds (where you weren’t supposed to be, as you’re brother forbid you from doing anything that could hurt you) “shhh, they don’t know you’re coming” she whispered. Puzzled, you kept following her, until you came to an opening in the trees, that’s where you saw him. Technoblade. “Sylvee, I cant talk to the enemy.” The three boys jumped and saw you. Wilbur and Tommy seemed angry at the blonde girl who was clearly leading you towards them, knowing that she had put their lives in direct danger by bringing you near them. You immediately drop the sword you where holding and bowed to the men. “Prince Thomas, Prince Wilbur, Chief Technoblade. You are in no danger as far as I can control, but I will protect myself and my maid as needed.” As you stood and saw Sylvee standing you smacked her shoulder to make her bow quickly. “Sylvee, why am I here?” You asked as you picked back up your sword. “You’re infront of the best swordsman on this side of the globe, if you want to learn, learn from him” she said before running back to your home.

Sighing you turn back to the men. “Gentlemen, I am so sorry for her behavior-“ you then notice the pink haired man kneel infront of you and hold out a hand. While it is proper, you didn’t expect a proper introduction from the commanding chief of your enemy kingdom. Placing your hand in his he kisses your coronation ring and smiles. The two princes bow. “Boys boys, don’t be so stiff. You’re not in danger.” The elder prince speaks up “actually, by interacting with you, we are.” With a sigh you walk up to him and hold out your arms for a hug. The man seems shocked before stepping closer, you wrap your arms around him and hold him for a moment before stepping back. The brunette has tears in his eyes and whispers “thank you” you nod and smile “of course. I’m here for you darlin.” All three men seem shocked. The blonde speaks “b-but that’s against the rules, and by the rules I mean the law.” You smile at him, a toothy, cheeky, excited grin. “Oh doll, the rules don’t work on me. I’ll tell my brother to fuck off and I’ll stab a bitch.” You jab the air with your sword, making the teen laugh. Proud, you sheath your sword and turn to the pinkette. “Now, how do I convince you that I’m not a threat” you smile at the man. He holds a hand out and you shake it, but he doesn’t let go. You hold eye contact. He expects you to reach for your sword, but you don’t. Your sly grin changes to a small sweet smile. His grip loosens enough that you could have moved your hand, but you didn’t. Then he completely lets go and you let your hand drop. You’d not only gained his trust, but his respect. You knew that he wouldn’t hurt you, despite the fact that he could’ve. You looked at him, to anyone else it would seem like you where sizing him up, but techno knew the look. You where trying to find out what’s wrong with him, he’d been giving you the same look. “Raised by my brother, grew up in a castle, you do the math” you say to him, he chuckles. “Fair enough” you sat yourself down on the ground and start picking at grass. Tommy sits next to you. “You can call me Tommy.” He says, you smile. “I think I’m gonna call you kiddo.” He seems gitty, happy to be accepted as a kid, not as a prince, but a kid. “Ok.” And he puts his head on your shoulder. After a while Techno grabs your sword. “Hey.” You say as you gently push the sleeping Tommy onto Wilbur’s shoulder instead of yours.

Techno swings the weapon, you catch his wrist mid swing, making him drop the blade from shock. “Woah” Wilbur whispered from behind you. You pick the sword up off the ground. “To slow.” You tease the caped man. In any other case he would’ve been pissed. “Wilbur, bring Tom inside for me” he said, the brunette nodding and doing as told. Once the younger two where gone, techno pulled you in by the hips. “How?” He asked “pattern recognition.” You say back, matter of factly. He nodds, asking for more information. “You swung upwards, you weren’t going to hit me, so you’re arm was going to swing left, to counteract your momentum, so I grabbed you before you could move” he seemed intrigued. Gently grabbing your cheek and leaning towards you. “What are you doing soldier?” You asked with a smirk. “You aren’t my king darling, I’d watch how you speak to me” you lean in a bit more “shut up and kiss me” he closes the gap, moving his hand from your shoulder to your hips, leaving one on your cheek. Once he pulled away and you opened your eyes, leaving your forehead resting on his and smiling. “So princess, may I walk you home?”

——————

Tags for all the lovely people I got hooked on this @a-gay-little-ghost-2 @kit-is-a-weeb @lillylvjy @art3m1s-adelia

[breadbduck]

random magic ideas

-smoke that slices anything it touches. Ie smoking character. or anything else you want the smoke to do.

-cant die. whenever killed, the soul gets transferred to the killer and shapeshifts back to the original form. Last disciple of a God of Rebirth?

-animate. dancing brooms from the rich rat. Can heal self, but only when if you can touch the bone.

-make anything into a sword.

-scape goat. the world dies and everyone in it, lucky you are the last to die. strike of luck, all the rest of the souls turn their eyes to you and refuse to let you die and inhabit the recesses of your soul. now you can command literal armies worth of ghost or monsters or whatever form you want them to take.

-that blind spot idea. can summon anything in a blind spot that has absolutely no eyes on it, not even peripheral, mostly.

-shapeshifter, but only into one kind of monstrous beast, can change size tho. isekai? can't speak the language but can understand it, bit of a plot hole unless you find a way to fix it, accidentally steps in a magic puddle or something maybe. bad ass bitch mode, adventure style comedy via isekai tropes, not a romance if it can be avoided.

-tiny ass fairy form, smaller than a plastic waterbottle, tinkerbell height. fucks with a pre-planned plot, isekai madness. Hates the fact they are this small and weak. Very much a total menace.

-a racoon holding a wand, two 'brother' racoons with their own magic tools. the wand grants any wish the holder makes. one brother has an infinite holding bag and the other has a human size wizard hat that let's it teleport wherever it wants.

-create a rift in space, pitch black. A primordial black hand, or multiple, come out of it. Ie, rift in someone's mouth, hand and arm come out the mouth and latch onto the head of the body, lift it into the sky. squeeze head til it pops, body drops.

-vibromancy is low key overpowered when done right. control sounds. no one that can go at the speed of light? sound beats everything in rock paper scissors

-chronomancer abuses the power of equivalent exchange to teleport using time.

-cowboy internet girl. Cowboy Bebop type beat. Matrix bs, cowgirl asethetic with hat covering the eyes. In the internet. Hackers, human?, get shot in the face irl. Like the girls hand comes out the screen and just pops them in the face with a bullet. Can snap her fingers and turn everything, the scene, into a matrix gird. Uses the grid lines like a lasso.

-angels have reversed gravity. This just means that their hair is pulled by an unknown gravity source that looks like when youre hair is hanging upside down. Any of their blood drawn also falls upward.

[dogboy-flash]

are you a "the boss hit us with a curse to only speak in song are you fucking kidding me i hope it dont last long maybe this thing can stop it dude flick that is a bong the boss has gone petrified ive seen this all before hes trapped in his own mind cant control curses no more youll have to go inside its just like challenge four god what is this now i have a big plow were getting hit with a curse storm i am the magical banana now i am just an ornana yes im back to my fursona am i that dumb bitch from persona how many times have we killed dogma guys im being pulled into the sun augh i think the storms over for now flick you gotta do something sure when i went into runes mind i used this here shrink ray it worked wonders last time so ill use it here today i just grew up thrice my size much to my dismay radmar surely you have a device to help with this i did but it got sucked up by that pc vortex biz maybe one of his curses will get us out of this i must naenae made you birthday cake its not his birthday thanks rdj i am yassified what a motherfucker gotta do for a high five hey guys my name is mindy xd still sunbound and its getting windy dodging all of these explosions your next curse is to be a fusion and just like that i found a way inside of runesters brain when youre fused together your thoughts are all the same so ive won this challenge and im farther in the game" kinda person or a "storage is back the timewarping crate youre the host with the most but you cant get a date so desperate for love you asked everyone out and then got it with somebody that you once hated youre rune but you never spit no ciphers goes to show youre nothing but a shit no lifer when people smoke weed you narc and call the cops youre tempos more jank than my fucking hitbox youre a dumbass and you suck so much i am good at gaming i love league of legends youre the worst competitor ive ever seen maybe you should go and join the dream smp i can rap even faster than a car ill end you six times call that a twelve bar got eliminated once theres no one deader html5 javascript header hold on before i start my verse i just wanna give a quick shoutout to my main mom momino mominos just a nickname her full name is mammacita g ino shes from philly she lives at 9 chickweed lane postal code g4f 9jo house is painted on blue on the outside you cant miss it love you mom alright time to start my verse were domino and were awesome turn up the mic im on the attack i got the gold medals that these bitches lack so if you wanna step in my bullion vaults youre gonna be hit with a billion volts im obelisk and im here to say i first appeared in challenge 8 i am one of runes siblings i do declare i am tall and made of stone so there extending the battle to new heights fermata how do i do it its simple i gotta marker whos the best rapper weve shown fermata makes the best rap battles owned its me firey sr i forget my line sorry rune i heard you rap faster than cars shitting on the mic i call that chocolate bars its about drive its about power we stay hungry we devour put in the work put in the hours and take whats ours dig up diamonds and craft those diamonds and make some armor get it baby go and forge that like you so mlg pro the swords made of diamonds so come at me bro huh training in your room under the torchlight hone that form to get you ready for the big fight" kinda person... be honest

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf liveread 2

archiving the twitter thread I made when I first read Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, one of the most delightful reading experiences of my life, in March of 2020 (this post from 3/26/20):

Chapter 30 starting with some STRAIGHT HUALIAN ROMANCE

"the two were just staring at each other, grinning"

just BROS HANGING OUT IN BED TOGETHER

Yall Ghost City is so cool & creepy & gruesome???? I can’t wait to see what the donghua does with this???? The animation will be INCREDIBLE

I’m sitting on my roof reading & when Shi Qingxuan said “Ghost City is Hua Cheng’s territory” I cackled so loudly someone down on the street looked up at me

“There’s a path for you in Heaven, but you refuse to take it, and instead, chose to barge into Hell. What shall we do with you?”

Hua Cheng slouching behind the curtain is like ALL THE LIFE GOALS OF SEXY

Hua Cheng watching Xie Lian roll into his casino like “honey did you think I wouldn’t notice you”

Hua Cheng, to all the bouncers: if you see the Crown Prince of Xian Le THAT IS MY BOYFRIEND AND BE NICE TO HIM. also BRING HIM TO ME BY WHATEVER FLIMSY EXCUSE NECESSARY

IM SO INTO THIS I CANT STOP YELLING TO THE CAT SITTING NEXT TO ME ON MY ROOFTOP CAN YOU BELIEVE HE HAS THE EYEPATCH NOW??? CAN YOU CAT WEVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!!!!

cat & I enjoying the sunset While I Yell ABOUT THE CASINO LORD HUA CHENG

gentlemen I know you’re in love but EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOU

the sheer SEXUAL TENSION OF THIS SCENE

Oh good people in-scene are literally fainting because the sexual tension is too strong

Xie Lian: oh no all I can bet is my lunch leftovers which is this half eaten bun Hua Cheng: thank god my boyfriend hasn’t changed & always carries trash around in his pockets

this Dramatic Bitch I Love Him

Did I say Xie Lian was a himbo? I was wrong. Lang Qianqiu is the REAL himbo around here

The Two Himbos Win Out: we can’t lie to a friend that breaks bro code

oh my gOD IM LOSING IT

Okay let’s stop & talk about this personally & narratively

As an obligate extrovert who needs to be around 2-6 (but no more) people at all times to be happy: SAME, HUA CHENG, SAME

Narratively: if Hua Cheng our a flashing neon sign around his neck that said SINGLE it could not be more obvious than this comment (which was immediately preceded with “I never go to brothels”)

Hua Cheng, in this scene: I DON’T SLEEP AROUND, I’M SINGLE AS FUCK, CAN I MOVE INTO YOUR TINY APARTMENT SHRINE

and thank god the reaction from Xie Lian is “omg please move in with me immediately, we’ll share a pillowless bamboo mat and eat trash” and Hua Cheng is so happy

why is Hua Cheng so sexy ughhhhhh

this is a hell of an image

Noooooo don’t keep secrets from each other nooooooooooooooo

Jun Wu: don’t touch the scimitar no matter what

Xie Lian:

Jun Wu: don’t touch the scimitar no matter what

Xie Lian:

Xie Lian: is the scimitar his penis

Dad:

Xie Lian:

Nooooo why are they keeping secrets from each other is so stressful

Nooooooooo THIS IS GAY PANIC FROM XIE LIAN

AHHHHHHH THIS BOOK IS HITTING EVERY SINGLE HIGH NOTE

I had to read Hua Cheng’s lines here out loud in the sexiest voice I could think of bc threatening someone for your significant other is Sexy

Omg I Love E-Ming as much as Ruoye im sorry i was ever scared of this cute little pup if a sword

oh!!!! Soft!!!!! he is a Soft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh i should’ve quit after.... so many parts ago I have to work tomorrow BUT i couldn’t leave if Hualian were Upset At Each Other now that theyre holding hands i can finally sleep

Okay I’ll resume tmrw with ch 49 in #tgcf, #heavensofficialblessing, this delightful delightful charming delicious piece of fiction please tune in anytime you like for a read along at https://sakhyulations.com/novel/heaven-officials-blessing/

(Full resources for mxtx translations at https://google.com/amp/s/thelostintern.tumblr.com/post/181315156804/mxtx-translations-masterpost/amp…)

archive note 2022: please buy official licensed publications of Heaven Official's Blessing, published by Seven Seas publishing, available where all major novels are sold!!!!!

[deadxlv]

Far Away Soul, White Cold Star 💫

Chapter: 14 p.2 “You..Hide from me the Truth..Now their blood..stains my very Soul.”

Grey scale and the absence of logic in all that is true to me now. Cant feel anything. Adrenaline is all that is keeping me awake..very moment I got piercing blades stabbing into my flesh with each passing second getting deeper..and it actually..hurts. They know what they are doing and I'm at a strict disadvantage, No Chains, No Swords, No Help..except for my own rage, my undying desire to rip that stupid son of a bitches face and replace it with the shit they deserve..

A strained cough, blood dripping down his teeth, and his body weakened, Ma'ire collapsed onto the ground. His whole back and arms were blown to pieces so far that you could see his organs from behind his spinal chord, he would slightly chuckle as he rolled to his side letting Hèr'La and Kÿr free promptly going unconscious. Hèr'La paused as she passed her hands across Ma'ire's chest only to see how deep the arrow wounds stabbed right through him- one had gone so far it stabbed through his chest cleanly and when she felt her cheek it cut her slightly. "M..mM-Ma'Ire..your go-gonna..be okay? Don't worry.. I-I have you..", her finger tips would start to glow a soft green as she pulsed her healing energy into the Animal who laid there lifeless post the hellfire. Kÿr would sniffle seeing the cuts in his shirt and jacket and clenched his fist looking at Hèr'La, grabbing a arrow he would examine it- passing his hands over it before snapping it in half. "They're poisoned.. when they enter your corpse they dissolve.. can tell by how easily this thing melts under warmer conditions in my hands..", he said tossing them aside and walking off a few feet to see where Hijìn was.

  Energy rippled over Ma'ire's body until all his wounds were gone and he looked like they had just met, she greatly sympathized with the animal life around her and seeing him lifeless on the ground after what he sacrificed for them just caused her to break down and cry more, resting her head on his chest still pulsing the energy into him even though it was pointless. Kÿr scuttled by all the arrows still on everything around them avoiding the poison dripping outside of each shot till he made it to the river bank where he last saw Hijìn, just when he saw the result the cat would grow defensive instantly; At the site Hijìn was being strangled while being stuck to the tree he was shot into by the figure who did all of this, they were a around two feet shorter than Hijìn, whiteish gray like long hair, darkened hide coat wearing, black torn looking jeans, and most noticeably a Jet black Gas Mask.

  Blurting out a heavy cough, Hijìn splattered his blood all over the others Gas Mask who did nothing but stare at him coldly with no visible eyes behind its glass screens. The figure took some of the blood and passed it along their breathing hole of their gas mask in some sick flirtatious mannerism. Hijìn wheezed from lack of breath trying to get his way out as the arrows would start glowing a bright white and disappear, only that the figure was still holding him in the air with one hand- "FUCK YOU BITCH LET HIM GO!", exclaimed Kÿr who extended his arms out and shot a full magazine of pistol shots into the figures body not missing a single shot. The figure would stagger back from the force of each shot just never waver, keeping the human in their grasp and in the air- the bullets slowly coming out of their body and dropping into the ground beneath their feet. Kÿr saw this and snarled as he made the pistol disappear only to extend his hand and form a larger weapon aiming it at the figure who seemingly stared at the Feline with no interest. "You let him go! He's done nothing wrong- he's just a kid! He's younger than me! Like hell dude-.." the cat exclaimed aiming at the figures head.

Out of the brush near them a small metallic prism would fly by and shoot a small blast of electricity at Kÿr's hand causing him to jolt and drop the weapon, before he could even react to the small drone-like objects the Figure appeared in front of him almost as if it teleported roundhouse kicking Kÿr into a tree stump. The cat yelled out as it hit the wall trying to catch his breath the figure would stomp down on his chest with it's dark leather boots, Kÿr would slowly push the boot off his chest with his strength only to look at the figure and smile. The figure leaned its head to the side in confusion- out from behind with a small black tentacle extending out from his left eye, Hijìn would appear and full force punch the figure down into the now dry river bank causing them to rag doll onto the ground. The figure grunted under its mask from the force of the blow, but before it went off it stabbed Hijìn's arm with a rope tied arrow and yanked him off with them- the figure bounced off the ground and skid on its heels tearing the ground beneath its feet while swinging Hijìn around on the rope slamming him against all the surrounding trees.

Snapping of trees like twigs and red leaves flying everywhere Hijìn slammed headfirst into a boulder, the figure watched and stayed still not making a sound believing they had crushed the human just to speak too soon and the rope they held was yanked and the boulder was forcibly lifted and thrown directly at them. The Figure materialized a glowing white energy and jade bow from thin air and sliced the boulder with one shot shooting the human and dragging him to them with some strange energy attack. Hijìn grabbed onto a large branch on the ground trying to hold on but it was too late- the figure kicked him in the face and he reciprocated by swinging his whole body around and baseball bat swinging the branch into their face knocking them back along with the two boulder pieces. Hijìn rolled on the ground and snarled out beating his chest like a rampant ape getting more and more out of this- this fight felt easy in his mind as they couldn't even take a hit from him without getting smashed into a pull, only that the figure stood back up and disappeared again from thin air.

Kÿr ran out and to the human calling out to him, "Hey! Ya big Idiot it's me! Ya friend Kÿr!", Hijìn turned around to see his friend and he muttered something under his breath. Kÿr was midway to his friend then out nowhere a large fist made of rock, sediment, trees, and other plant life came out of the ground and punched the human into the tree line- the figure giving hot pursuit darting behind the human wanting to finish this quickly. "Shit! Damn it Damn it damn it! If only I could run as fast-" Kÿr said as he tried to catch up to the others as best he could with his two little stump legs. However, on Hijìn's end, he was flying off hitting everything in his path before slamming against a plateau, looking ahead he swerved his head to the right as the Figure kicked into the plateau causing it to crumble beneath the force. Hijìn grabbed onto the leg and they spun around and shot him in the face with another arrow- he jerked his face to the side and bit the arrow spitting it out to the side and throwing the figure to a fragment of the plateau crumbling all around them. They would jump off the piece and tackle the human sending him to the remainder of the several hundred mile tall plateau which fell ontop of them, Hijìn being blind in these conditions would be abused by the other who jerked all around stabbing and slicing at his skin and face not letting this chance go to kill him.

  With a loud booming roar which made the rock turn to dust he punched the ground with all his strength causing a massive explosion of rubble and dust giving him a chance to escape. He bolted out into open air just for the figure to be in front of him, the cold clouded from vapor glass of the Gas Mask staring down into his soul before a muffled and raspy voice would come from the mouth piece. "Saw this..knew it'd happen- your just too immature to try anything else..", Hijìn jerked back and two vines came from the ground and wrapped around his torso spinning him around and slamming him against everything around him. Hijìn yelled out in pain as saliva and spit shot out of his mouth from each beating he received, the Figure standing in watch seemingly enjoying the view it was receiving- a few bullets whizzed past them as they dodged each and every single one of them. Kÿr managed to make it and with a button press he launched two small bombs from under his jacket sleeve at the figure causing a massive explosion which vaporized a large section of the forest.

The figure was caught in the blast and skid back onto scorched ground looking ahead, with damaged clothes and endurance starting to run out they stood up in defense thinking the human would've died from such a blast just to be again proven wrong. From the flame Hijìn and Kÿr would step out,  one step at a time they walked forth as trees crumbled into ash and all life around them died- the Figure watched this display and grew disgusted under their own skin saying to themself, "This is what Mother fate had showed me.. two endless killers who'd bring us all to die.. all those lives..all those people..our death, from their selfishness..", The two disappearing and reappearing to punch down on the figure at the same time from two sides. The Figure scoffed taking a deep raspy breath before disappearing and reappearing kicking the Cat off and sending Hijin into the canopy, Kÿr would quickly run out of the brush and into the canopy after the human forming many guns around his body as he scaled up. Hijìn slammed against a burnt trees trunk and charged forward only to get slammed back into the tree trunk by a flying gigantic tree coming at him out of nowhere- he punched it off him and ran forward at the Figure while bullets flew past him as Kÿr shot at them. Vines shot from the ground and plant life around them grabbing at them with Kÿr dodging and sending full clips of ammo into each one that tired before chucking two large chains at Hijìn pulling him back from a whole barrage of those jade arrows.

  "Use these! O-okay?! Let's kill this son of a bitch-.." Kÿr snarled as he wiped his lip of blood letting Hijìn go and giving him the chains. The Figure extended their arm out midair and fired out countless barrages of arrows, sent waves of random trees and other plant life at them, and large formations made of random crap to hit them. Hijìn latched onto the side of a tree with one chain wrapped around his arm and swung to try and kick the Figure only to miss as they dodged, Kÿr on the other hand swerved right getting hit by a tree and getting crushed under a fist made of sediment as he vomited out a large amount of blood onto the ground wheezing from the impact just to growl in frustration. He ran on again just for the fists of rock and plant life to come at him and his first instinct was to punch it with all his strength, it crumbled under the force soon exploding from the charges Kÿr latched onto it the instant their fists collided, turning around and dodging a tentacle which tried to slice him in half with a bladed edge.

  With a hearty but worn smirk, Kÿr would point with his thumb at his tail and say, "You a little bitch if you think that'd work", his bladed tail swayed left and right as it was covered in a blue blood from slicing the tentacle apart faster than the eye could see. The tentacle stayed down and writhed as it died, the cat charging ahead as he thrusted his arms ahead and created two rockets firing them at the Figure who was busy throwing hands with the human. The figure saw this and spun Hijìn to take them head on but he wasn't having it this time, promptly grabbing the figure by the hair and yanking at it turning to grab both their legs, the rockets close by Hijìn turned midair and spun the figure slamming them head on with the incoming rockets. The explosion sending him flying back through the foliage as his worn down broken body tumbled on the ground till it stopped on a halt, Kÿr clenched his fist and smirked in confidence until out of nowhere again the Figure came out of nowhere kicking him square in the face straight into another tree. The figure had its arms and part of its torso blown off yet it was still standing, with a strained breath the figure somehow regenerated their whole body and clothing till it was perfect and with a glint in the Gas Masks eye they would charge and stomp down on the cat forcibly, going so far as to stomp on the cats head with full force who all Kÿr could do is try to block as much of it as possibly yelling in pain.

  Hijìn's eyes shot open as he heard his friends screams, it wasn't even a second thought for him he sprung into action again after somehow healing in this primal state and shoot himself back up. Climbing back up with his bare hands and chains the human would see the sight and grow even more furious than before, The Figure stomped on Kÿr's face and rubbed its boots heels in some sort of sick pleasure seeing the cat basically defeated from the abuse, but it was too late for them as Hijìn came from below and tackled the Figure into the ground. Falling down together the two would exchange blows with one another- Hijìn sucker punched them in the cheek for a second just as they kicked him off, latching his chains on their body he pulled himself back down kneeing them in the gut while punching with his other free hand into their face. The two tumbled on the ground but the other could react as Hijìn came in with protective anger over Kÿr, the figure tried to protect itself by blocking yet Hijìn wrapped his knuckles with the large heavy chains coated in his own blood and started beating down on the other with each punch getting stronger and stronger.

  The Figure tried to stab him to get him off but a black and red tentacle came from Hijìn spine and locked their neck and arms to the ground strangling them as all they could see through the Gas Masks lens was the brutal animal with red aura pulsing all over his body maul them. Hijìn would straight up punch through the gas mask causing it to crack more and more until it noticeably broke off, beneath the gas mask was a female face- they had clear eyes almost if blind, light green skin, dark colored lips, and small fangs as incisors, two strange cheek holes which revealed their teeth from inside their mouth, and who only had a fear of death on their face. This didn't even stop the Human for one second as he started to brutally beat the shit out of the strange woman, breaking chunks of her face with each punch as all she could do is scream out in agony. "H-how Fucking DARE YOU!!!!!! Touch KŸR'U!!!", Yelled out Hijìn as he layed waste to the strange woman's body who could only lay there not even moving any longer, her body jittering from each force full punch with the sound of bone cracking, and Hijìn's face and body covered head to toe in her own blood with a enraged look on his face.

  From a trail of the fight Hèr'La would run over and find the scene of the fight, "Hijìn?! Kÿr?! Where are y-.." she froze, she trembled from the sheer sight as her lip quivered unsure of what even to do. Hijìn slowly turned his face towards Hèr'La and would be breathing heavily finally stopping the beating he layed waste upon the strange woman. Hèr'La could barely make it out but as she turned slightly she could notice the woman's caved in destroyed face of only a mush of flesh and chunks of bone look at her with it's only remaining eye and move it's hand towards Hèr'La trembling violently as the vines held her down. "V!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD HOW DARE YOU KILL MY SISTER!!!!!!!", yelled out Hèr'La in despair as she caused the whole forest floor in a thousand square kilometers to erupt into a blue flame, she shot forward and punched Hijìn so hard it broke his jaw off his face launching him off into the distance. The final sight behind the fading away flame was Hèr'La on her knees holding the woman nicknamed V on her lap closely as she wailed out in despair and sadness for what had happened to her only true family. The weak body of the strange woman holding onto Hèr'La's arm as tight as it could as blood poured all over Hèr'La's chest and lap as she looked down to her sister, the sister would barely mutter out, "D..ddd-death.. l-lll..looms..o-over..us..all..", barely able to mutter a statement as her face could barely even start to recover from the beating. Hèr'La clenching her sisters hands tightly as she hugged her screaming out with golden tears rolling down her light blue skin dripping onto her sisters mutilated face.

Forgone..I've made a grave mistake..I've meddled too much I-

From the endless expanses of the now destroyed forest a loud echoing rumble of the planet would boom across the world letting everyone know of a crucial message of agony. From beneath the planets crust a pair of eyes would slowly open growing open to more hatred than anything ever felt before, feeling of agony reciprocated it wouldn't be too long until it arises and settled its place among the stars again.. Forgone.. you've made a fatal flaw in the changes of Fate herself..now suffer for it~

M̷̡̰̳̹͍͓͎̞̫͈̂̉͑ẹ̵͂d̸̹͇̦͉̗͎͇̮̹̮͑̍̈́̎͠͝d̶̗̘̞̻̗̱͕͚͋̈́̅̔͘l̸̨̡̳͕̥͙̼͈̳͐̿̽̄͝͝͝ę̵̿͗̕͝d̴̹͋̀ ̵̖̿̄̀͒̓͗̌i̷̫̹̫̺̗̫̫̠̊n̵̠̯̥̤͕̳̎̋̀̂̇ ̴̨̢̟̖̙͙͙̀̒͐̄͑y̵͓͕͗̀̈̈͛̓͌̇̀̕ͅͅǫ̵̡̨̗̞̩̘̔͘̚u̸̗͚͒͆̉r̶̛̭̩̖͈͑̄̽͒͑ ̸̮̈́͊͛̍̍̚ȯ̷̪̯̽̍ẅ̶̢̧͙̠̣͈̦̳͚̜́̆͘͝n̸͔̊̀̒͆͊͑͆ͅ ̶̛̊͛̇́͜s̴̨̢̛͕͓̺͆͌̔̾̀͒͂̕i̵͍̻͈̫͓̤̣͐̅̈͒̉̆͆͠n̷̻͓͒̃̀̑̅̋̔̍̽̈ ̷̦̺̳̻̮̈́y̷̨̞̲̞̐͗̈́ͅo̴͉͛͆̈͒̃ȗ̶̯͐̆̿̍̑͑̎͠ ̶̛̫͔̦̹̬͓̃͐̋̂͆̓͌͐͌ç̴̧̗̬͎̪͍̜̺̓̂͊̍̅̽̌͛͘͠h̵̨̛̖̲̭̟̙͈̮͓̰̏͒̄̽̀͌a̸̡̹̫̜̥̩̯͎͐͊̈́̃͘͘̚n̶̛̬̪̪̬̈̋̀̌̀̚g̶̭͙̗̗͎̘̀̋̒͗̓̾̌̂̑̎ͅȅ̴͕̪̯̤̱͋̂̍̎̊ď̸̨̯̩̥̔̌̽̂̓̀̃͆͝ ̷͍̰̜͕̯̒̀̀į̷̋̍͆t̷̢̨̬͓̠͋ŝ̶̜̠͒ ̷̻̭̭̪̥̙̒̆̽͐̇̀̕ͅc̴̖͈̺͕̦̽̓̐̚ą̷̢̳̪̥͕̃͌͝u̵̢̧̫̞̝͎͉͍̇̚ś̶̺͚͘͝e̵̹͉̓͌͊̐.̷͕͖̩͍̤̱̜̈́͑̕.̵͕̗̗̗͇̈́̓͒̓̓͐̈́̾͝I̷̭͇͎̥̠͈̼͕͋͒̇̆̎̊͒ ̴̛̼̦̦̣̀͐̾s̷̨̲͓͚̳̔͊̊̇͒̈́̑̅͜͝e̵͉̖̝̎̓̃́̔͗̆̈́͜͝e̸̬̱͂̈͆͊̀͆͌͂̕ ̸̛̗̩͌̇̾̕͝ÿ̷̡͍̮̹̰̪̝́̏̏̊͑͝o̴̗̾̀͝ų̸̱̩̙̝̖̝̗̩̩̈̔̑̋̅̆̚͠͠.̸̛̜͉̠͚̫͖͈̊͛̍.̷̨̛͔͈͐͛̈̽̍̀̈́̓̄l̵͈̭͕̼̝̟̄͆̏ĩ̸͍͓͙̆̋̀̓̿͑̌̚t̸̨̗̝̭̝̰̞̉͐̂̏̎̓̈̆͜͝t̷̡̛͔̘̖͔͕̥̟̟͝ͅl̴̝̳͖̏̅̏̍̋͛̐̕e̵̛̹̮̫̼̗̻̹̲̾͛̒͂̅̃̽͝͝ ̴͕̟̜̺̙̙͙͈͊͛͐̕ợ̸̦͓̲̜͉͓̅́̈́ň̵̙͉͖̬̘̤̠͎͛̏̇é̵̢̩̣͖̂͒͝,̶̧̠̞̲̠͓̼͂͂̀̀̚ͅ ̵̢̘̥̟͕͑̎̈́́̎͋͝f̶̲̤͇̣̼̻̖͂̇̇̇͂͌̽̕o̸̫͓̲̟̹̝̦̘͎͌͗ͅr̶̨̻̐̿̐͌͑ ̴̢̜̫̬̰̝͇̮̍̈̂̇͝ͅy̷̧̜̙̞͆ŏ̶̜̰̦̑̅͗͒̂̏u̶̦̦̼͉͉̠̤̘̔̐̈́̽͌̒͘͘͝r̴̠̳̤̽̓̍̋ ̸̧͕̭͖͇̺̹̓̇́͋̔̈͆͝͝ḩ̴̨͕̜͈̄e̴͉͓͓͜͝a̷̬̰̺̮̦̤̜̩͝r̴͉̂́̏̍̈́̀͝t̵̛̳͖̮͕̦̑͑̔͛̄̉͝ ̸̨̙̱̭͈͚̫͜͠ͅś̶̢̖͉̼̺̊̽͌̈̌̕͠͝h̶̯̼̠̦͗å̷͍͎͖̈́̊̆̂͜l̷̬̮̰͚̾̎̈̔͋͘ͅl̴͖̲̘͚̈́͐͝ ̸̡̱̪̳̱̥͙͔̗̳͛͐̂͑̏č̸̢̨̼̭̖͔͈͈͌̓̀̄́ḫ̶̹̘̙̏̂a̸̛̟̭̱̰̘͖̬͕̲͋͆̌͛̆n̴͙̭̖̍̎̐̚͝g̶͔͑ͅȩ̵̥̜͚̄̊̂͂̇̈́̂̕̚̚ͅ ̴̧̮̻̮̈̒̿̔͐ţ̸̥̲̈́̋̍̑̿͘ẖ̷̯̗̈́̇ể̸̜̜̹͚̍̀͋̈́͠ ̵͔̗̳̤̙͕̝̈́͒͌͂̓̍͜v̴̨͂͑͊͝è̵̼̬͚̜̲̣̼͓̑̽̒r̸̼͓͖̞͕͖͝ÿ̷̡̮͙͔̝̠͉̱͔́͊̋̚͘ ̴̣̗̞̑̾ć̸̙͛̈́ó̶̯̲̳͇̙͌́͒̐̈̔̚͜u̴̩̜̼̜̥̯̬̼̯̅͊̅̅̏͜ŗ̵͕͍̻̱̎̒s̷̲̰̲̎̅̌͛̆̊̚͝ḛ̷̰͉̫̱͕̠̊̿͐̌͑͆̏̈́̕͘͜ ̷̛̞̼̘̣̻̣̖̭͛͐̾́́͝͝o̶̻̾ͅͅf̸̣̠̪͙̜̪̝̯̓̄̆̀͂̄̅ ̵͉̖̎̑̔̚h̶̨̨̧̘͈̻̮͕͉͂̓ḭ̴͉̲̜̤͔̳̝͉͎̅̽s̶̛̠̬̽́͗̓̽͠ţ̴̧̼͚̜͖̼͓̩̀́̏̕o̴̪̱͂̍̊̊̎̄͗r̵̹̦̝̯̤͇̩͙̲̲͆͋́̀͋y̸͈͕͂̊̐̑̿͑͜.̷̣̬̌̔̕͘.̴̡̧̜̠͚͙̲̳̍͐͊͜f̴̧͚̳̤̺̯̠̆̍̅̓̓̓à̴̧̠̦̜̙̥̙̗̀̑͆̈̓͊͘͝r̸͓̮̝͆̐̒ ̸̡̖̺̼͇͎̞̰̌̓̆̊ỏ̸̢̡̩̮͙͉̙̮͛f̵̫͋͐͗͒͒̏͠͠͠f̴̳̱̦̫͙͑́̓͑̒́ ̷̢̛̻̼̙̝̟̬̹̈́́̎̇̆̈̾̚͠f̶̧̢̛̫̝̮̘̠͚̪̟́͌̈̓̕r̵̡̡̨̧͙͍̝͇͎̺̓͂o̴̡͔͉̠̭̪͉̒͐̈̀͑̚m̷̤̗͌́̈ͅ ̴͕̝͑̈́͑͑͐̌͝͝͝t̸̨̧̠̪̗̞͗̃̃̓̔͛̍̊h̸̢̛̘̹̤̱͆̅̏̍͋̑̾͊͝e̸̻͑̄̑̌̏̂͠ͅ ̶̨̯͔͋̃̀̆͋́̑͛̒ͅp̶̙̱̱̰̙̭͆̔̋̍̎̿̕͠ͅả̶͚͔̩̥͔̼̗̀̅̄́̓͐͌̉͠ţ̶̧͖͔̺̼̞̭̈́̔̈́͋̓̋̾̽̇͘ḧ̶̫͉̬͓͚̟̜́̇ ̶̢͕̻̬͉̠̳͔̜͍̇͂̅͝I̵̭̜͚̍͒́̍̓̈́̂̒͝ ̶̨̧̝̖̱̻̀̾̈́̈̐̒̀͝͠h̴͑͐̋͑͊́̒̚͠ͅă̵̧̘͖͖̦̙͚̖v̴̡̠͚͇̲̳̘̼̏́͐͗̊͝ẻ̴̛̙̳́ ̶̨̟̙͘s̶̎̈̐ͅḛ̷͖̲͓̲̰̬̜̩̈́̊̈̊͜t̶͉͎͍̍̓̕ ̴̢̢̧͈̭̞̝̀f̶̡̲̪̻͉̗̬̻̆̊̋̚ͅo̵̬̐̊̑̊̚͝r̶̢̡̼̲̻͖͈͎͔̒̍̓̅̋́͒̐ ̶̖͉͔͌͝y̸̨̢̛̠͙̘̞͚̩̥̱̽̑͗̑̿ǫ̴̹͖̞͒u̶̞͓̜͖̍͋̆͒̀͂̏.̷̳̥͔̌̂ ̶̳͔̜̯̥̲̲̹͕̓̎̐͑́͘͝͠Ṇ̴̲̗̽̈̐͌̒̎̋̕ȯ̷̰͊̈́̍̈́̅̕͠w̸̩͍̰͛̉͒̈́ ̷̰͖̻̭̮͉̔́͐̃̅̽̅̓ͅR̸̛̯̹͙͔͙̞̦̿͛͑ͅę̷̠͑̅̅̓̑̀̐͐̚å̴̩̪̽p̸̬͕̾̓͑͗̽͘͝ ̴̨̼͙̤͍̤͉̯̘͑ẁ̷̲̰̜͑́́̌͒͂̾͝h̴̰̣̀́̋ͅa̶̪̲̤̘̠͈̙̞̹̖̾̐͛̍̀̿̎ẗ̷̮̦̠͙̓́̄̾͆͘ͅ ̵̡̧̱͇̼͈̝̮̘̭̑̅́̀͑I̶̯͔̘̋͂̿’̷̫̇͑v̴̡̞̘̥̥͇̠͂̿͆̒́̈̃̈́̕͘e̷̯̼̰̠̜̜̻͈͔̔ ̸̛̙͉̻̜̗͇̬̭͆͊̀̓͜͜͠ḑ̶̢̝̣̫̦̖̹́̔̋̔̔̓̐ͅó̷̟͙͛̊͋n̶̬͚͈͙̳͔̬̞͉͒̃͘e̴͙͎̲̾̓̆̌̈́.̷̡̨͈̼̰͇̠̰̦̻̿͂̈.̵̠̭̙͒̀̏̃̎̋m̸̨̧̟͚̖̱̯̬̱̭͊͑͗̈́́ê̴̡̪̞̣̤͕̦͕̓̓̆́̄̈̕͜͝r̸̨͕͈̘͖̼̔̀͊̍̓̈́̚͜ẻ̶͍̞̯̭͖l̵̢͈̇̀̈́̀̀̌y̷̡̓̀̚ ̷̨̣̣̟̯̀̈́̓̈́̊̕t̴͉͘͠ͅh̵̲͖͖̯̩̺̅́̆͛̂͠͝ͅȩ̵̧̘̞̝̰̹͕̠̦̅̕ ̶̨͇̯̜̻̲̖̑̊͘͘ͅg̵̨̛̝̭͙̺̜͓͈͍̎̄͌̃͌̍͝ļ̷̢̛̰̙͇͇̪̣͖͇͂́̓͒̂͋̔̈́̎i̵̢͍͈̫̺̒̍́̚͜ḿ̷͕̥̩̬͈̜̅̚p̵͎̝̝̟̦̤̓͒̃̀͛̇͘͝ͅs̸̨̙̟̟̿è̸̡̡̨͓͉͎͈͈̳̈͋̔͝ ̴̳̳̳͇̩̟̘̩̗̅̌̏͝ͅo̸̤̩̖̜͕͋͒̔͛̏̿̇̀́̉f̵̫̘̗͔̰̲̠̂̑͒̋̂͗͛̍͂ ̸͇̘̤̦̕w̷̛͚̳̣̑̏͑̈́̏͋̆̕͠h̷͇͛̋̋̊̆͛a̴͚͈͓͈̮̍̋͗͆̐̔͠ţ̶̞̭͇̅̅̐̇͘’̸̟̙̘̎͑̌̍͆̋š̵̫̝̣̭͍̈́̃̉̓͑ ̸̧̛̳͓̯͉̭͒̒́̓̌t̶̡͇̰̭̩̙̝̾̋̉́̉͛̀̇̑o̵̟͈̥̣̤̤͒̌̈̄͝ ̷̣̱̥̼̻͖͘͝c̷͕̝̳͐̔̎̊̂̎̾̋ọ̶́̽̿̅͂̓͘m̴̬̭̻̹̻͚̒͋͜e̵̡̺̘̻̻͌̐́̄͗́͂̂͝.̴͚͚̺̲̤͈̌̊͌̉.̸͉̺͉͙̜̽̇̕̕N̴͇̪̮̳̖̯̣͎̰̖̔̆̂u̷͓͙͖͊̈͒͛͜l̸̢̧̰̱̥̪̺͗͑̆̔̉l̵̢̛̜̰͙͈̱̃̍̈̚ ̸̙͈̱̘͚͍̋̄̕T̶̛̩͓͔̰́̎͒̉̇̈́̐͘͝r̶̲̫͚͎̻̝̳̮̟̽̓̈́̑͐̈̾̑̆ú̸͎̰̜̯̟̻̆̈́t̴̹̀͗̎̌h̷̛̖̓̾̎̈́̄̋.̸̞̥̟̞͐̏̃̔̌̐̌

[strawberry-jammers]

I underestimated you

this is for @helliontherapscallion  ‘s 2k followers event ! (which congrates on that btw, well deserved. your fics are amazing!) and i found it kinda fun to do!

an x reader where tommy and the reader need to get something from the blade, so they ask wilbur to help out

The other fic I did for this event what did you three do

masterlist

-----

(y/n) walked down the prime path, examining the area around them. They turned to Tommy, who was walking with them, constantly writing in his book. “Tommy, hun, what are you doing? I thought you were illiterate.” he nodded his head. “uh uh.” (y/n) stopped walking, staring at the much taller male. “Your gay.” Tommy turned to them. “Thank you.'' Tommy says, turning right back to his book.

“Oh good, you were listening, anyway whatcha doing?'' Tommy furiously wrote, once finished, he put the pen in the middle of the book and slammed it shut. He looks over at (y/n), smiling widely. “You know how we’ve been trying to get that axe back from techno??” (y/n) nodded, remembering the axe they had left at technos and could never get back. “Well,” tommy shoved the book in their face, “i have a plan!” (y/n) looked up at the tall man, slowly. “Oh, god help us all...okay, what's the plan.” They look down, reading tommys horrible handwritten plan. “You can't write to save your life. Anyways, tommy this plans shit.” 

Tommy takes back his plan book, angrily. “What do you mean! It's a great plan!” they shook their head. “Tommy, it literally only says ‘go into his house, distract the blade, steal his shit’ yeah yeah, great plan toms.” they say, continuing their way threw the prime path. Tommy chased after them, “hey hey wait! It worked really well when i lived under his house-” “tommy i couldve came up with it myself. Besides, he keeps the axe on his person cause he knows i want it back, and i cant get it when he hibernates cause philza watches over it. This is why i need a plan, a good plan.”

-

The next day, Tommy came over to (y/n)’s house early in the morning to show them his plan.

“Tommy, what the fuck are you doing here this early in the morning!?” Tommy was basically buzzing in excitement. “Ugh, come in come in.” they say, gesturing for Tommy to get into their house. Tommy basically runs into their house, (y/n) closing the door behind them. They walk into the kitchen as Tommy sits down in the living room, still buzzing. 

“What are you doing in there!? Come on, come on!!” (y/n) just sighs, grabbing a cup and pouring themself a cup of water. “You woke me up at an ungodly hour of the day, you're gonna have to wait a second bitch.” they say, taking their cup and sipping it as they walk into the living room. They sat across from Tommy in an armchair as Tommy sat on the couch.

“What is it you needed tommy tom?” they say, putting their cup down. “Ew don't call me that. Anyways, I wanted to show you the new plan I've made!” he says, walking over to (y/n)’s arm chair and showing them the book. They take it, reading threw the plan. 

“Huh. this could work… do you know if he’s hibernating now?” (y/n) asked, turning to the blonde. He nodded. “Haven't seen him in chat for weeks. Even jumped from a tall height to test it, didn't say a word.” they nodded, smiling. “Well then, call wilbur up. Lets get started!”

-

Later that day, they called up Wilbur to see if he would help them out, fortunately, he agreed.

“So, what am i doing again?'' Wilbur asks, sitting down in (y/n)’s living room. “If philza shows up, you're gonna be there to distract him. Just say you're there to see him and techno to catch up since you've been dead for a while.” (y/n) said, standing next to tommy. Wilbur nodded, thinking. “Should be easy enough on my part. Anything else you need of me?” 

Tommy spoke up. “You’re gonna need to fight them if things get rough. (y/n) and I need to get the axe out of the house as fast as possible.” Wilbur stood up. “I did not agree to fight the blade, okay? You're gonna have to pay me if you want me to fight the blood god.” (y/n) sighed at this.

“Fine, you can have a stake of diamonds and 9 netherite, deal?” Tommy gasped. “How do you have that much!?” (y/n) just chuckles. “I go mining constantly ‘cause you're so expensive. Anyways Wilbur, got a deal?” 

Wilbur sat back down, thinking about it. “Yeah, we’ve got a deal! Now what  are you two gonna do?” (y/n) sat down in their arm chair. “Oh, easy. So what we’re planning is-”

They talked about the plan for a bit, wilbur interjecting to improve upon it. Once done, they set out, gathering what they needed and heading to the tundra to get their axe back.

It took awhile to get there, seeing as though the three of them kept arguing. 

“Omg we’re finally here!” tommy says, immediately getting shushed by wilbur and (y/n). (y/n) snakes Tommy's arm lightly. “We’re right outside their houses! Be quite!” they whisper yell, heading towards the front door. “Right right..” tommy whispers, following behind, along with wilbur.

They sneaked inside, heading in from the main and basement doors. Tommy and (y/n) snuck up the ladders, going as quietly as possible. “You see the axe?” (y/n) asks, whispering as low as possible. Tommy shook his head, heading further into technos room to try and find it.

The pigman was sleeping soundly in his big ass bed. The two teens assumed that he wouldn't wake up for a long time.

(y/n) followed after Tommy, slowly walking around the room to try and find the axe. They searched all around the room, searching in his chests and even closet.

Tommy looked at the far end of the room, near the ceiling. He notices the wall being two different colors, as if there's a giant hole in the wall. He climbs up to the ceiling, seeing what was in the whole. He gasps, realizing it's a barrel filled with a ton of valuable stuff, including the axe that they were looking for. He takes it (along with a bunch of the other things inside) and slowly gets down from where he was at. He turned back to (y/n), who was already looking at him.

“Find anything?” Tommy nodded at the younger teen.

“I know i found two rats in my room.'' They quickly turned to see the piglin awake, and fully geared to fight the two of them. Even when he's sleeping he's ready to fight. 

“Shit shit shit shit, tommy RUN!!” they booked it to the ladder, making sure to hold onto the axe they had finally gotten back. Techno quickly followed after them, not wanting to let them leave with the axe. 

Wilbur notices the commotion, grabbing his sword, putting on his armor, and getting ready to fight the blade. 

The teens basically slide down the ladder, heading to the basement to get away as fast as possible. Techno came down after, but Wilbur was there to stop techno from going down further. He had to think fast however, so Wilbur did the first thing he thought of.

Stabbing techno in the ass.

“HEH!? WILBUR WHY??”

“WHAT!? I WAS IN A HURRY!”

“SO YOU STABBED MY ASS???”

“YEAH!?”

Techno jumped off the ladder, standing in front of wilbur. “How much are they paying you?”

“A stack of diamonds and more.” techno nodded, going over to his ender chest. “I'll give you a stack of netherite blocks and stacks of sand if you turn against them.” Wilbur immediately nodded. “Yes yes,fuck those guys! Gimme gimme!” Wilbur takes the sand form techno and starts monching on it.

“Now, where are they heading?” techno asks, giving Wilbur the rest of the stuff that he promised.

“Oh, they're heading to snow chester. Closer than either of their homes.” techno nodded, running out the door with wilbur to go and get technos stuff back.

-

Back with Tommy and (y/n), they had reached where they agreed to go, breathing heavily. (y/n) immediately collapsed to the ground once they reached their hideout. “Oh god i'm tasting but...still got the axe?” Tommy nodded, collapsing next to them. 

“I am so glad we agreed to change our hiding spot. I would be so dead if techno decided to chase us.” (y/n) says, grabbing the axe and examining it, happily. “Yeah, I knew not to trust wilbur. The guys insane!” (y/n) gets up, putting the axe with the rest of their treasures. “Well Tommy, I underestimated you. Your plan actually worked out for us.” they said, laying back down next to tommy. 

Tommy smiled, basically clinging onto the young teen. “Never underestimate big man tommy danger kraken innit.” (y/n) giggled, clinging onto Tommy as well.

“Wanna just sleep?” they ask. Tommy nodded. Too tired to say anything else. “Alright, goodnight tommy.”

“Goodnight pussy.”

[flaming-hot-lesbian]

So I caved and read Gideon the ninth and OMG IM IN LOVE. Gideon is who I want to be and Harrow is just the living embodiment of who I want to be with. I want a relationship like Griddlehark.

Now I'm going to scream into the void about my top 5 favorite moments and VERY small explanation on why I loved it.

5. "Cam go loud"

I FELL in love with Cam at this part (and Sextus to a point) it just something about women who put their challenger in their place that is just so cool.

4. The Frist challenge

I was smiling the whole time it was going on and Gideon being the ICON she is is like "I wanna fight cuz I can" and I love that and Harrow going inside Gideon's head and then bitching that is was loud had me WHEEZING.

*Spoiler warning*

3. The Epilogue

When Harrow is begging the Undying King to bring Gideon back and he won't had me in tears and I cant even fathome why I loved this scene so much

2. The Final fight

It was such a beautifully written chapter and Gideon killing herself to save Harrow and that it was Gideons love for Harrow that Forced her to become a Lyctor RIPPED MY SOUL IN TWO. When Harrow saw Gideon helping her hold the sword and kill the Lyctor and I'm such a bitch for sacrifices. When Harrow backed Gideon up fighting the Construct (I can recite the Scene form Memory I loved it so much). Gideons goodbye just felt so right for her.

*Honorable Mention*

1. Sextus death

2. Any Abigal and Magnus scenes

3. When Harrow and Gideon started trusting each other in Chapter 13

4. Any time Harrow called Gideon "Griddle"

5 The Fight Gidoen and Harrow have at the start

6. Gideon and Harrow's argument (when Harrow said Gideon cant see the sick girl *forgets how to spell name*)

7. Harrow and Gideon Siphoning for the frist time

8. Camilla and Sextus scenes

9. Any time Abigail and Magnus were being the 4 teens parents

And now my favorite scene in the whole book and I think most will agree with me on this..

1. The pool scene

It fucks me up everytime I think about it. Harrow telling Gideon everything. Saying that she only hated Gideon because it was the easiest thing for her to do. Harrows break down. GIDEON AND HARROW SAYINGTHE VOWS BETWEEN A NECROMANCER AND HER CAVALIER. Harrow saying Gideon was her only friend. It was just such a beautiful scene and so perfectly written. I read it twice cuz it was so perfect.

And for a bonus: my top favorite Quotes

"I'm sorry I'm such a homewreaker"

"See you on the flipside, sugar lips"

"If you take the frist 3 letters of your Frist name and the frist 3 of your last you get Sex Pal"

"Because I completely Fucking hate you, no offence"

"WE DO BONES MOTHAFUCKER"

“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it”

"STRIKE ME DOWN YOUVE WON IVE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE AT YOUR MERCY YOURS ALONE AND GOD KNOWS I DESERVE TO DIE AT YOUR HAND YOU ARE MY ONLY FRIEND I AM UNDONE WITHOUT YOU"

"One Flesh, One End, Bitch"

Anyways it wasn't obvious I love Gidoen the ninth with my whole life (its lowkey a problem now)

READ GIDEON THE NINTH IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY. 10/10

And if possible listen to the audiobook version it is like being blessed the narrator dose a wonderful job.

Also home by cavetown is a Griddlehark song and I will die on that hill

[mollyolikeme]

Any Way The Wind Blows SPOILERS

Okay. Here are my ramblings in no particular order. Proceed if you care and/or dare. They a lot.

- I am emo shit. (I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. Brilliant.)

- Honestly the ‘break up’ is important even though it HURTS

- Holding the wand together. I CRY. Knocking foreheads. STAP.

-The first real snowbaz conversation during the make-up. Was just …......… FAN-TAST-TIC. Just real conversation and being patient and listening. Like they were both being so SOFT and UGH!

- Fuck yes the emotional intimacy!

- The first night in bed… like simons trauma and love and how they interact and how he can’t cross the lines right away but wants to and he’s just trying to process NEVER having to ever make a decision for himself and think about his own emotions in his life. Boy thought he was never gonna grow up. He thought he was gonna be dead! UGH. He just. Can’t handle the emotions and I FUCKING RELATE!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT. GIMME MORE.

- Snowbaz hunting that first time and the conversation about simons sexuality (no label!) and further talking about how Simon thought (but really never thought!) about his relationship with Agatha

- The fact Simon wanted to JUMP ON baz and never thought past that

- Simon telling baz he would let him drink him. Yup. Good boy. Good bois.

- The mutual OBSESSION they have for each other!

- NANDOS! Yes sir.

- Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard.

- Penelope deserves SO much. She is such an amazing friend/family to Simon AND to baz. Ugh their LOVE for each other.

- I think Shepard is v good for her

- YES bitch get him out of that engagement!

- Shep reaching slowly for penny and then penny just moving his hand to reach her cheek. I CAN NOT!

- KISS HIM! You go Penny! GET. IT.

- DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ

- IKEA trip. Just get out. That’s my dream for them.

- MORE KISSING. KEEP KISSING. I LIVE FOR IT.

- every damn time Snowbaz goes to lady Ruth Salisbury’s. I love it!

- I love lady Ruth! Like YES grandmama you are an open minded and smart powerful woman!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT AT WATFORD! DO IT AGAIN!

- TEAM SOLVING PROBLEMS! YES TEAM.

- Smith smith Richards can accept my foot in his ass. I agree with Baz’s reactions. Like yes son.

- I get simons too honestly. For him as a character, as the guy that he is, ya know.

- Smith smith is a HILARIOUS and TERRIBLE name.

- LOL. What a scammer though eh?

- CULTS! Why is it ALWAYS cults these days!!!

- The whole bring the magic up and then burn it out thing smith does. Like fuck you. Why do you think your special because you made up a new spell?! Lots of people do that!

- The kind of first time?!?!?!?!?!!?!?! MY PRECIOUS BOYS. YOU DESERVE THAT AND MORE IM SO HAPPY!

- Fuckin GET. IT.

- The conversations the communication! KEEP IT UP MY GUYS!

- They just love each other so COMPLETELY. Despite everything and especially INCLUDING each other’s ‘flaws’ (I weep with joy for it)

- Honestly the Britishism’s in this book were prime!

- GETTIN THE TEAM BACK TOGETHER! Legit gives me ENERGY!

- GREAT Watford action. Simon being Simon like ‘nope imma lie to keep my people safe’

- His people then being pissed at him. lol yup

- Fuck you smith you deserve to be embarrassed by Simon!

- You look like a fool because you ARE a FOOL!

- GO PIPPA! Spell em like you see em! LIAR!

- KAY. The character growth for all of our mains …….. you guys I caaaaaant, stop it! (Don’t ever stop. Keep improving yourselves you guys are magical beauty’s)

-omg and AGATHA. girl you get your fucking story how you like it. this is about you now! your life is your life and you get to do what you want with it! Herd goats and just chill! uhuh uhuh!

- WERK HEADMISTRESS BUNCE. YOU ARE QUEEN AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE!

- Simons true nature just being protective boy to people who are assholes to him. Yes sir you are too precious.

- V interesting that rainbow gave us an open ended thing with smith. Like at least somewhat. I’m assuming the coven will be like ‘yea you are a fraud and we will not have you around people anymore’ but also she leaves it with him still being delusional and like ‘I chosen one. Uhuh dat me’ … ya fuckin’ knob. You aren’t it Smith!

- ALSO WOAH WOAH WOAH! On the MF SLY Nico (good for Fiona. Marry your angry boy. You deserve it. Whatever it is.) being like ‘you can’t be immortal only drinking animals’………………

- IM SORRY!

- That is a BOMB!

- WHAT. WUT.

- OUR BOYS CAN LIVE AND DIE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!?!?!? You are fucking kidding me! THAT IS ALL I EVER WANT IN MY LYFE! (Healing healing healing emotional healing)

- Beautiful addition with the Excalibur sword to give us the Simon Salisbury reveal. Just Beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you Rainbow. I think that is exactly as we need it. Like obviously a lot for Simon to work through. And he and baz LITERALLY have that conversation (‘it’s too much.’ ‘It would be too much for anyone’) I REALLY appreciate that scenario as the reveal. Like Ruth already knows all the important things about Simon and now they can just be a supportive and CONSISTENT presence in his life. BAWLING IM BAWLING.

- And Simon has his sword!!!! Yes boy! You look good with it! Baz thinks you’re Hot! Because you ARE!

- THESE BOYS ARE HANDSOME! WE ALL WISH!

- Okay but also the moment it hits Simon (and baz) that he killed his father…… noooooooo. POOR THING. (Crying real tears. Crying real tears in the park reading. It’s true.)

- HE WAS NEVER YOUR FATHER SIMON! NOT REALLY!

- ROSEBUD BOY!

- Yes that is the pet name and henceforth will be the ONLY pet name! (Actually baz should keep saying love because I SWOON)

- my thoughts are Simon is gonna keep his wings.

- Like he likes them and so does baz and honestly everyone does. I actually love that every time anyone who is important to Simon thinks about him without his wings they get a bit sad about it.

- I think he’ll keep them.

- I like that they left things with the nownext like….. those Vegas vamps will probably fucking kill them, let’s not get involved. And then literally didn’t talk about it. HA. (Fair enough. Not their problem.)

- Our baby’s get normal lives now!

- Like normal for them

- But they get to GO ON! ITS AMAZING!

- AH IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!

- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

- Penny and shep are getting his passport and moving to LONDON! They gone be cute cute cute together and it’s LOVELY

- SIMON AND BAZ LIVING TOGETHER FOREVER!

- MY BOYS (crying crying crying crying crying)

- I can just picture Simon doing Sunday night dinners at the Salisbury’s and coming home with HEAPS of take home leftovers for his week because grandmother Salisbury would NEVER let him leave without it

- He’s got an uncle! And probably/maybe cousins!? Sweet baby aaaaaahhhhhhh!

- Daphne at home again. THANK HEAVENS!

- I really enjoy that baz calls her mum. I think it’s so soft and important on so many levels because she did raise him.

- BAZ DRESSING SIMON! COME. ON.

- I CANT HANDLE ALL THIS BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR THAT I AM CONSUMING! IT. IS. PERFECT. I AM EATING IT UP.

- every time each of them comments on how sexy the other is.

- Simon thinking about Baz keeping his wand in a holster on his wrist. And it being dead sexy without his shirt on. FUCK. ME.

- Okay okay okay but MORE physical intimacy!!!!

- Like Clothes. Get rid of em. Don’t need em. Confident with where things are going. Check. Communicating consent and checking in. Fuck yes check. Sexy sexy sexy. Check. Kissing kissing kissing. Check. (I’m dying just about here) (get it my sons)

- What does Simon say? Just like ‘do you trust me’ ‘yes’ ‘can I touch you’ ‘yes’

- I. HAVE. DIED.

- (I’m dead)

- (Me being dead) AAAAAHHHH

- I LOVE the on going ‘is this what people do?’

- That makes me feel so many things.

- FUCK

- Simons like ‘we just get to keeping trying and working and being close and trying and working and making each other happy’

- I WEEP!

- These. Boys. Have. My. Heart.

- They have it they have it they have it they have it

- UGH

- okay better leave it there. I need to READ. THIS. AGAIN.

- LOVE ❤️

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

Loki ep 6 thoughts

-FEAR

-recap reminds me I hate ravonna

-I want more mobius/sylvie

-THE SONG WAHHH

-The QUOTES IN THE INTRO?? WAHHH?,

-OH,?? REAL PEOPLE VOICES??

-Greta thin burg I love u

-upside down heart in rock

-THE SUSOICIOUS LACK OF THEME MUSIC WITH THE LOKI LOGO

-this music slaps everyone say thank u Natalie holt

-they look so good….ugh

-sylvies hair…wah

-THE LITTLE CALLBACK TO LAMENTIS

-she’s asking him to tell her to stop :’)

-best buds I love dem

-she’s pulling the ‘I’m 8 minutes older than u!!’ Argument that every twin pulls

-she needs a moment now but she didn’t hesitate back in ep 4. Hmm

-Tom looks fuckin great here let’s not lie

-statues?? Omg who

-ominous door slam

-I FUCKING JUMPED

-OMINOUS ‘HEY YALL???’

-THAT WAS HORRIFYING

-what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

-I need a second

-I’m so sorry that gives me the ‘HEY SISTERS’ jumpscare energy I’m laughing but terrified

-kang

-it’s fuckin kang aint it

-oh he scared

-he’s scared

-of the lokis

-wants to bargain with them hmm

-bitchboy

-this never ends well

-BRO HES PAST THIS STUPID FUCKIN BATTLE

-this is a trick loki PLS DONT FALL FOR IT

-full offense but ‘we can reinsert you so you won’t disrupt the timeline’ and ‘you can kill thanos and have the infinity gauntlet’ cannot POSSIBLY coincide

-her eyes are creepy

-don’t let this overrule your GOAL SYLVIE

-god one of you have braincells pls

-oh she thinks they’re a thing too huh

-Disney don’t do it I stg

-THANK u

-sylvie looks so annoyed girl me too

-even my cat’s confused

-I don’t wanna have any sympathy for ravonna don’t show me those stupid fuckin rings

-LMAO THE CLOCK IS PLAYING RAVONNA TOO

-why is this so funny

-knife buds

-I shouldn’t love him but I kinda do

-okay but they’re so funny just holding their knives to him

-I’m so sorry sylvie is so cute

-her little hair flips

-it’s a Loki thing

-he’s funny but I’m fairly certain I’m gonna hate him

-at least call her by her preferred name bitch

-MOBIUS MY KINGGGGG

-WHAT A BAD BITCH I FUCKIN LOVE YOU

-“one mans void is another man’s….piece of cake”

-SHES SO ANNOYEDFKSIFKS

-youre not sorry bitch

-LMAO B-15 YOU BAD FUCKING BITCH

-OMG OMG OMG PRINCIPAL NOT-RAVONNA IS SO HOT

-B-15 like I’ll expose the fuck outta your ass

-Loki I love you but this is obviously bigger than you think

-man’s a script writer omg

-ugh not him being a sylkie shipper

-man I hate u

-NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN IM TIRED

-right when they thought they could start doing their own thing and making their own decisions he’s like SIKE!!!

-I sad

-this bitch is exactly why I’m like meh on Christian god

-must be boring

-man I don’t want him to turn them against each other

-IS THIS A RELIGIOUS ALLEGORY

-ravonna is. A little unhinged

-‘an illusion conjured by the the weak to inspire fear. A desperate bid from control’

-I’m sorry but she sounds like cliche christians

-this is coming from a cradle Catholic

-why is this the mokius/Loki fight from ep 4 all over again

-she literally says crisis of faith

-mobius: hey I think this entire institution has manipulated us and I'm gonna try and figure out what's at the bottom of it

ravonna: lies to him, has him killed

ravonna: wow i cant believe he would betray me like that

-no bc its giving Aaron burr 'now I'm the villain in your history'

-its giving catra and adora in s1 when adora's like 'they're awful' and catras like 'yeah we been knew. How dare u not condone that'

-except I don't ship Mobius and ravonna

-I had to pause to write this rant

-she threatens to prune him again as if he wouldn't just go back to the void

-mobius: we can't take away ppl's free will

Ravonna: i disagree

mobius: where are u going

ravonna: in search of free will

-PICK A SIDE

-IM TIRED

-mobius being left ONCE AGAIN

-poor bitch

-everyone has evil clones just let shit happen

-why is it literally an entire religious allegory

-HW FOUND BABY ALIOTH

-im so confused

-what does the illusion of the time keepers do at all

-he fills the same spot as them either way

-is it anonymity?

-why doesn't he just kill all the bad variants of himself

-he sounds like a liar I don't trust him

-hes just an asshole

-why doesn't he offer ppl the option to work for the tva

-if he thinks they'll still work under Sylvie and Loki then he must think they'd help

-why does he look scared

-idk why but I'm real tired of all this

-time shit's confusing

-dude i just want lokius interaction

-NOOO NOT A SYLKIE FIGHT

-no I’m so ficking emo

-I want them to be besties

-“because you can’t trust. And I can’t be trusted”

-bro I’m sad

-I’m so sad ab Loki

-he’s trying so hard not to hurt her pls

-WAHHHHH

-I am going to SOB

-HE THREW HIS SWORD DOWN IM GOING TO CRY

-he’s GROWN SO MUCH

-LOUD CRYING

-that’s it I’m fucking logging out

-Disney I hate you

-I’m so fucking pissed

-I’m so tempted not to finish this episode I’m mad

-anger fills me from top to bottom

-NOT THIS AGAIN

-I am taking a moment

-are you SERIOUS

-man

-my exact words when she says ‘I’m not you’ were “AH fuck. GODdammit” but I need you to take the liberty of imagining the exhaustion in my voice

-bro I’m just so mad

-I’m like apathetic to the rest of the plot rn sorry

-I couldn’t care less ab this

-man I am so disappointed

-I’m sorry I just am

-does it really fuckin have to go like that

-god at least let me have one last Lokius moment

-Tom Hiddleston’s deliverance of that rant was so fucking good

-like. You can hear how truly fucked up he is about all this. We’ve never seen Loki like this

-I’m rly emo about it

-I’m actually going to kill marvel

-I am. Divorcing this show

-are you fucking kidding me

-no because fuck you

-FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

-I am SO ANGRY

-I am going to be pissed forever

-you fucking make MOBIUS FORGET HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT???

-GODDAMIR

-SO IS THIS MOTHERFUCKER KANG THE CONQUERER??

-I’m so tired

-I just want to take a long fucking nap

-I’m gonna spend the next few years pretending this episode doesn’t exist

-fuck everything man. I’m fucking mad I haven’t been this mad since I watched infinity war in theaters.

-with that I will be. Dying somewhere

[khaleesiofalicante]

it's literally 1 14 am and i have school tomorrow what am i doing with my life. my back hurts

IT'S HERE

but this chapter..

He had been using his magic more so than usual. He had to do it.

huh why

David wanted to be the head of the institute.

David wanted to get married.

David wanted to see The Lion King live-action on Broadway.

David wanted to go back to France one day.

That’s what David wanted.

Not this.

SHUT UP DAVID GROUNDED HIM DURING PANIC ATTACKS BUT HE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE I AM GONNA CRY

“This…This is how it’s going to be,” his father said, holding his hand now. “We need to go for the funerals. We need to go to the memorials. We need to be there. Not just for David. For all of them.”

All of them.

Dad. Rafe. Mina.

All of them.

so.much.pain

“The first one is the easiest,” his father replied. “Then it just gets harder. The more you live, the more human you become. The more you learn to love. The heart…It doesn’t listen. It falls in love over and over – every time harder than the one before. It doesn’t get easier, Max. It only gets harder.”

SOMEONE HOLD ME I CANT DO THIS IT'S 12 AM I HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING

max oh my god

i will cry

“I miss him,” Max said. “I miss him so much. Is it ever going to stop?”

It had only been a day. Only one day without David.

“It won’t stop. You will miss David for the rest of your life. But you will love for him for the rest of your life too."

“Jesus, you could have just lied,” Max grumbled.

Bapak chuckled softly. “David would have liked that, wouldn’t he? To be loved by someone for eternity.”

SHUT UP LITERALLY IM IN PAIN

jackson...

this is so painful

they are all there and like...it seems so final

DAVID DOESN'T LIKE SILK YOU BITCHES

He remembered the first time he saw those blue eyes. The day David had come to New York. Max had gone back home and drawn a picture of it. Bapak had chuckled at that and put it on the refrigerator.

that's so-

cute

David had done something extremely unusual then. He leaned over and kissed Max on both cheeks.

Later, Bapak had told him that it was normal to greet people that way, especially in David’s home country.

Max remembered being disappointed by that. He remembered wanting to be the only person David kissed.

Now he tried to remember the last time he had kissed David.

LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE TO CRY OVER THIS

Because that’s what dad did. He always stepped up and did his job – no matter the pain.

“David…David once told me that he came to New York because this is where heroes are from,” the Consul said, his voice tight. “But New York is not a place of heroes. It’s a place of fighters – good and bad. And this…This boy was one of the bravest fighters I've known. He taught us that there is more to fighting than holding a sword. We must fight for ourselves. We must fight for our families. We must fight for what is good. That’s what it means to be a shadowhunter. That’s what it means to be human. Ave Atque Vale, David Beauchamp. David might have left us, but our fight continues. Now we must fight for David – for he was family. He was good. And he was more human than most of us.”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

im in so much pain right now like it's not even a joke anymore

MY HEART HURTS

Jackson...

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

But he wanted it to hurt. He wanted something to hurt. He wanted to feel it again.

The pain was killing him. But it was also the only thing keeping him alive.

If that made any fucking sense.

it really does make sense

“You are more like a firecracker,” his father smiled. “You’re beautiful. You’re loud. You’re full of color.”

“8.5% people die of firecracker-related injuries in the US every year,” Max mumbled.

everything's fine

im fine

Max visited - or used to visit - the New York library with David all the time. The other boy read mundane newspapers because he liked knowing what was going on in the world. He read everything.

Where was David now? Where did shadowhunters go when they died? Did they have books there?

Max hoped they had books. David would like that.

They better have books

OH MY GOD MAX AND ALEC

HELEN

NO DANI NO DO NOT

ALEC NO

FOR FUCK'S SAKE NO

im feeling that weird mixture of adrenalin and anger I WILL NOT LET YOU GO TO IDRIS

“Baby,” Alec said gently. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Why do I not trust you when I say that?” Magnus asked.

“Fatherhood has given you trust issues,” Alec chuckled softly. “I blame Max.”

alec calling magnus baby gives me life

no, because im feeling angsty right now and I was planning to write after this

rip

“Magnus,” Alec put his finger to Magnus’ chin and lifted his face. “You and I…There is nothing we can’t do together.”

“Except put together that Star Wars Lego set,” Magnus shuddered.

“It has been a decade!” Alec groaned. “Why would you remind me of that?”

“It still haunts me in my dreams,” Magnus chuckled.

“I swear Simon got it specially made to mess with us,” Alec grumbled.

“Darling, the box said ages seven and above,” Magnus pointed out. “Max put it together.”

LEGOS ARE HARD OK???

When Max and David had both been children, they would often have sleepovers in the library. Jace would read them stories while Alec built the blanket forts. Magnus and Clary would sit with the kids and watch their husbands with stupid looks on their faces.

He missed those times.

I miss them too and I wasn't even there

GASP DANI CAN WE GET AN EXTRA SCENE LIKE THAT??

“I didn’t want to push him,” Clary shook her head. “I know he lost his mother when he was a baby, and I know it would open old wounds. So, I never pushed. But I thought…I hoped one day he would be ready. That one day, I would get to hear it.”

alright I think im gonna go cry now brb

HE???

so it was edom then

this feels too obvious

like

no, what if it isn't edom

Magnus chuckled at that. “Remember the time when we went to Diyu overnight?”

Clary managed a smile. “Good times.”

They used to walk into hell dimensions without a care in the world. They used to battle princes of hell with nothing but blind confidence.

I miss those times

They got a little less reckless – which was saying something considering what Alec and Jace were planning inside the library.

ISTG THESE TWO

If there was one thing he had learned over the years, children always needed their parents.

No matter how adult or mature they become, they would always be someone’s child.

And a child needed a parent.

yeah...

Asmodeus seems too obvious

will I be coming back tomorrow morning and analyzing all of this again? yes

but Asmodeus...

IM SO CLOSE TO LOSING IT RIGHT NOW

WTF DO YOU MEAN

It seemed cruel that someone who was being punished for treason and someone who wanted to live a different life and be a mundane had to go through the same damn process.

The criminal and the dreamer. They had to feel the same pain.

being a shadowhunter is everything to Anjali...

she cant

what email address

WHOS

wait oh Rafael's

but what do they mean they don't have a choice

so not Rafael

Rafael couldn’t help but smile at that. Anjali was 21, as was Rafael. But in the bedroom, in front of their parents, they all felt like little children.

Sometimes in a helpless way.

But most times in a good way.

He liked that feeling. He liked feeling like the little boy his dad had carried on his shoulders. Like the little boy his Bapak had snuggled every day.

It had made him feel safe.

nothing to see here just me trying not to cry

Did Diego know?

Well, why else would Rafael be here every day?

He must know.

you're not that subtle

He wondered if that was what he liked about her in the first place – the fact that she shook him to the core without even trying.

His Anjali.

His hurricane. His earthquake. His thunderstorm.

HIS ANJALI IM OK EVERYTHING'S OK

HE SAID HIS

Rafael rolled his eyes at that. “My parents still sing to me when I can’t fall asleep. I kinda like it.”

Her face softened. “Magnus?”

“And dad.”

She giggled at that. A beautiful sound. “The Consul can sing?”

“You should see him during karaoke night,” Rafael chuckled at the memories. “He is a beast.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM FREAKING OUT

Oh my god, they are laying together

wait is it lying?

oh yeah it's lying

me cannot inglish

Divine offering.

He couldn’t help but feel it was perfect for her – for Rafael would offer anything and everything at her feet.

he's so in love

I JUST WANT THEM TO BE OK IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

Rafael wanted to smack himself on the head - because mentioning your ex-girlfriend’s name was a great idea when you were in bed with the love of your life for the very first time.

I-

honey no

He thought of Bapak, who had gone to sleep last night wearing one of dad’s sweaters.

He thought of his dad, who had been looking at his husband the whole time during the funeral – probably wondering if this was what it would be when he was gone.

He thought of Max, who was currently asleep in David’s bed, the Lightwood necklace wrapped around his fist.

He thought of himself, whose soul was dying with the girl who was dying next to him.

there are other ways to hurt me

“Will you kiss me?” she asked.

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

“Has anyone ever told you that you are nauseatingly cheesy?” she asked.

“It’s a family thing,” he pointed out.

so you're just gonna leave us at that??

This is what we have right now, Anjali. A crayon. A single shade.

Fight for me. Live for me.

And I will give you the fucking rainbow.

“Get better,” Rafael kissed her cheek now. “Get better for me, and then I will give you a real kiss.”

She looked murderous. Rafael kissed her nose.

“You have some nerve pulling this shit on me!” Anjali jabbed his chest.

SCHJGSYGCDUKGFESDCUJKSFCDU THEM

“Don’t get cocky on me, Santiago,” she warned.

“It’s another family thing,” Rafael pointed out. “Kinda learned it from my dad.”

aww

When Lexi was younger, she used to have the biggest crush on Emma Carstairs. The only thing better than a girl with golden hair was a girl who carried a golden sword.

Emma Carstairs was both.

right?? i mean we've all had a huge-ass crush on Emma

EMMA BEING A WINGWOMAN HGJDCSUYCSDHY

She heard Olivia chuckle. “Or you could just point me to the bathroom?”

Lexi whirled around. “Right. Yeah. I forgot we had one of those. This way.”

lexi is such a chaotic gay and im here for it

“We have a very relaxed toothbrush policy here at the New York Institute,” Lexi chuckled.

honey NO

First, the fake dating and now the bed-sharing. Lexi was living inside a fucking fanfiction.

bestie-

“My dad,” the other girl said. “Sometimes he calls me Olly cause it still hurts him to call me Liv.”

it doesn't get easier, does it?

you just learn to live with it

Lexi used to dream of David...

“Lexi,” the boy said. “Lexi, I need your help.”

WHAT'S GOING ON

DAVID????

ok it's ok everything's fine

I'm gonna sleep now...maybe.

ok...good night

AH SHIT THIS ONE REALLY GOT YOU HUH...OOPS?

here is a meme haha :)