#cant believe i thought i was straight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lanshappycorner · 2 years ago

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Peak dumb and gay behavior is when I was younger my friend asked me about my type (of guy) and I just did not process that she was asking me about guys so I just blanked out and said "uhhh you"

#I DID NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER BTW i just thought she was objectively the prettiest person ive seen in my life #in a not gay way <3 but what was gay was that whenever the convo topic came up in yrs after . i could only list girls #cant believe i thought i was straight #but anyways i probably projected my gay and dumbassery onto my characters bc thats exactly smth theyd do too #off topic but speaking of dumbass i am a certified one . this morning i ate sushi and felt burning sensations and it took me a moment .#i realized that my dumb ass ate sushi despite being allergic to avocados there is no greater idiot than i

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hinamie · 4 months ago

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shows up a day early with a nobara birthday tribute

#my art #timelapse #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nobara kugisaki #kugisaki nobara #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #anyway i was alr finished this by the time i actually thought 2 double check the date #come 2 find her birthday is tomorrow.......#oh well it's the 7th somewhere #i cant believe i still had more flowers in me after 3 days of being stuck in hydrangea purgatory #tho tbf roses were one of those things that i fixated on n would doodle over and over in notebook margins n such #so their petal shape n distribution is pretty muscle memory by now #roses eyes and a secret third thing im forgetting were my go-to doodle subjects #theyre just real swirly and bumpy in weird places and tht makes the shape so fun 2 push n play with #whereas hydrangeas r just . roundish pointy with hints of 4petals scattered amid a circle #anyway enough traumadumping abt hydrangeas this is Her Day >:(#also felt good 2 get back to drawing smth that Didnt take 3 days straight #oh WINGS that was the secret third thing i got really into trying 2 draw correct bird wings

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lover-of-mine · 6 days ago

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it's the combination of racism (wanting to believe that a mexican man is more deeply entrenched in machismo than he's ever been shown to be on screen) and the projected misogyny (they don't like the women so they can't fathom their blorbos liking the women in any capacity) but you didn't hear it from me

#i could kiss you #its like #im not even negating the idea that eddie might be gay #but the idea that an eddie who believes he is straight dating women he initially thought were interesting #but inherently wasnt able to fall in love with because they arent right and Eddie treats dating as a performance so he never fully opens up #and then he ends up in less than great relationships he is just floating through #is not insane #is not like hes going around dating every available woman hoping one will stick and he will have a wife #hes literally dating like a normal person #he meets these people hes interested he asks them out the relationship doesn't progress but he waits because maybe it will #2 women in 5 years cant possibly equate to eddie desperately trying to get a mother for chris #911 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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menlove · 4 months ago

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dont worry mr mccartney i see your faggotry

#cant believe i ever thought he was straight but i simply wasnt the Understander yet #i also could not have given less of a shit about his solo stuff (or. or him. to be totally honest w you)

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good-beanswrites · 6 months ago

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A little something featuring Fuuta and Es after talking about their criminal lack of interaction in fanworks with @waivyjellyfish ! You had such awesome ideas (a few of which I'm still bouncing around in my head to post at some point,) but this one ended up taking over my brain -- I hope you enjoy 😅 Attempting to answer the widely-debated question:

“Oi, why didn’t you hit me?”

Es looked up from their paperwork.

“Prisoner number three. Most people are glad when they’re not struck.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Es usually left the door open at this hour, in case anyone had any last-minute complaints before curfew. No one usually took them up on the offer. They figured that if there was any prisoner they could count on to complain, it would be Fuuta marching through their door.

“You hit all the other guys. You even hit some of the girls that were giving you trouble. So what? You think I’m too weak? You think I can’t take it?” Fuuta spread his arms. “I can, so show me what you’ve got!”

Es sighed. They put down their pen. They folded their gloved hands together, resting their chin on top. “Fuuta, I’m not going to hit you.”

“Why not?”

“As of right now, I have no reason to. If you’re referring to the interrogations…”

They reflected on the first one they'd shared with him. To be fair, the thought had crossed their mind. It would have been satisfying to give this rowdy prisoner a taste of his own medicine – striking him after such a dramatic charge at them. But Es was always good at reading people. It didn’t take them long to understand Fuuta was the type to lash out first and ask questions later. In fact, that was likely what had landed him in Milgram in the first place.

Although Es knew they weren’t here to do any reformation, they wanted to try to show these prisoners where they’d gone wrong. So, they resolved to act as the bigger person. They’d prove that senseless violence was just that. By keeping their composure, they’d show Fuuta just how childish he was being.

That wasn’t my only reason. I guess that's true, my actions weren’t all purely righteous. I still spent the entire time looking for ways to make him squirm… But it wasn’t all cruelty. I really did want to understand. I wanted to help. That counts for something, right?

Es never struck the prisoners out of anger, or as a petty show of power. It was a way to force the prisoner to mind their ego. When they’d gotten a bit too full of themselves, a bit too comfortable with the awful deed they’d committed, Es’ blow encouraged them to feel a bit more humility and guilt.

By the time the second trial arrived, Fuuta oozed guilt.

The moment Es entered the interrogation room, it was clear that he needed no lesson in humility. He hugged his arms to his chest. His remaining eye darted around the room in thinly-veiled hysteria. His voice trembled when he spoke. It didn’t require any people-reading skills to hear the remorse that underlaid all of his accusations and threats.

Hitting the others felt like giving a dog a tap on the nose after breaking a rule. Meanwhile, Fuuta snapped and snarled like a stray who’d been kicked time and time again.

Of course, he could never know any of this. Any way Es phrased it, Fuuta would misunderstand it as pity.

Well, wasn’t it? I thought he looked like a kicked puppy – that sounds a lot like pity. No, it was out of respect. Does that mean I didn’t respect the prisoners I did hit? No. I respected them too. Then, what’s the difference?

Fuuta was still staring at them, asking the very same question. What’s the difference?

“Each of Milgram’s prisoners is unique.”

They were met with an unimpressed glare.

Es chose their words carefully. “Each one responds best to a variety of treatments. Some need attention to be comfortable, while others need time. Some need validation in order to confess. Others, a bit of debate does the trick. Some need a show of force. You –” remind me too much of myself “– require something else. I’ve learned to change my approach depending on the person I’m dealing with.”

Fuuta’s features flashed with confusion, then shame, then his usual mask of anger. “Tch. How pathetic.”

“Excuse me?”

“So you just change your personality when it’s convenient? You put up fake smiles and fake attitude? Have some balls and just be yourself.”

Es was caught by surprise. “... I am. Those are all pieces of myself. I choose to bring out different parts when it would be most helpful.”

“Sounds manipulative as hell to me.”

It makes sense he doesn’t understand. He’s a very clear-cut person, with every aspect of his personality lining up in a way that makes sense. I find that predictability fun. Or, is it something that I envy? Could it be both?

They had no time to dwell on it, as Fuuta was struck with an idea. “Though, if you can do it on command, why don’t you give me the ‘you’ that wants to hit someone?”

He spread his arms once more, hands gesturing to his chest. Es pretended not to notice him wince. They remained in their seat.

“What are you waiting for? Hit me!”

“I will not.”

“You just said you can change your personality on a whim, so let’s see it!”

“That is not what I said.”

His good eye began to look frenzied. He raised his voice. “You scared? The big bad warden of Milgram, nothing but a big coward!”

“Stop this. You’re acting childish.”

“No! You’re treating me childishly! Let me see the Es that kicked Shidou! The one that slapped Kazui! Treat me like you treated them!”

“I hit them because they said something stupid. They deserved it.”

“Are you fucking kidding? I deserve it too! I deserve it! Come on!”

At the last word, his voice broke. He stumbled to his knees. He let his head drop. He sucked in strained breath after strained breath. Shidou would surely give him a lecture about getting so worked up with his injuries.

Es finally stood.

They made their way around the desk. They knelt on the floor in front of him.

“Why?” he wheezed. “Tell me…”

“Fuuta.”

Should I just go ahead and do it, just to make him happy? No, I want to talk it out. But what do even I say? I'll tell him that I care. I can’t. None of the prisoners understand that I care. Why? Why is it so hard for them to see? I’m trying my best, why can’t they see?

Es extended their hand carefully. They didn’t know what they hoped to accomplish, but in that moment their thoughts were too loud and conflicting. They needed to do something.

Fuuta saw the gentle intention, and immediately raised his own hand to strike. It froze midair, though whether it was from Milgram’s restrictions or his own hesitation, Es would never know.

Neither of their gestures connected.

Footsteps. Then Yuno’s voice, hesitantly from the doorway. “We heard shouting, is everything alright in here?”

Es retracted their hand. A beat. Fuuta dropped his, too.

“Yuno. Yes, we’re fine. Fuuta was just heading to bed. I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I said, I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

Es stood, nodding to Yuno. When she’d gone, they turned their attention back to the prisoner crumpled on the ground. They made an effort to quiet their ever-racing thoughts.

“Listen. I know you can handle yourself. I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak. You’re strong. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t see that.”

They held out their arm to help him up. He didn’t move.

“Sometimes you are a bit too strong, if you ask me. I mean, picking fights with your prison warden, really?” They clicked their tongue. “You should be grateful for a superior that gives you second chances.”

At last, Fuuta took their hand. He avoided meeting their eyes, but his voice had softened considerably from his rant. “The only thing you give me is a headache.”

Es offered a dry smile as they pulled him to his feet. “The feeling is mutual.”

#milgram #es #fuuta kajiyama #i fully intended on writing something silly/sweet so SORRY this was a lot of drama 😭 silly and sweetness coming soon i promise adsfsdf #i really do think es would see themself in fuuta to some degree #something about them being filled with audience voices and fuuta also being a reflection of the audience... idk...#it makes me crazy how much es cares !!!! their line at the end of baptism of fire about how they dont hate the prisoners #and they now have a connection that cant be broken #and they see them all as comrades #it makes me crazy!!!#they have too many conflicting thoughts/feelings of WARDEN DUTY to flat out say 'hey i care about you'#but they do!!!! ;---;#i had some fun writing es' internal monologue like that! i debated on making it specifically a conversation between voices (using 'you' or #third person pronouns) but i think this still gets the idea across well #i know es never actually gave a straight answer to the final question but i hope this still gave a good peek at their reasoning #i genuinely dont think es pities him but he IS a pathetic wet cat in t2 and that definitely influences their actions in some way #i believe your exact words were 'red-haired fucked up dog' and i hope i could do that image justice 😎👍#drabbles

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ratatatastic · 4 months ago

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"Listen, I love seeing you get into it after the whistle, too, man. Because you'll throw down—Like, you and [Steven] Stamkos went at it... you been going at it with a lot of different guys, but Evan Bouchard—" "I'm not tough! I'm not tough! No! I felt bad about that, man..." "I gotta ask about the chokehold, though! With Evan and he's like tapping out! Is he making any noises? Do you even know that he's in a compromised position? That maybe he can't breathe or whatever? What was going through your mind when this happened? And what was your reaction when you saw it afterwards?" "Yeah, I mean, listen some guys like to keep up the persona... I'm not the toughest guy in the league, I'll never claim to be that. I don't fight often. I haven't—I don't think I did last year at all, but I do believe in protecting yourself. You know, I saw Barkov get hit, and it was pretty dirty hit in my mind—in the moment, right?...before and after replay, and stuff like that. You understand the league made the right call, and what not... But, I see him, he's vulnerable, he's one of their better players, one of our better players on the ice, that was all it was, right? Just grab him and do something. You know, I felt bad about it, I apologised to him in the handshake line on the way out, right? It's all part of the game."

"What did he say? 'No problem'?" "'Go fuck yourself!'" "No, he said, 'All good, no issue.' I'm sure I'll get hit from behind next year or something so..." "'See, I got 45 points in playoffs...'" "Hey, but I'm with ya! I said it at the time! The Draisaitl hit on Barkov—Like, he knew what he was doing, he went straight through his head...I don't know..." "It's—No doubt, no doubt." "...In regular season he's probably getting suspended. You know, if that's the regular season..." "Yeah, and you know what? It all ended well, and Barkov was fine so... the league made the right call obviously, right?" "Yeah..." "Whatever...but when Max Domi—years ago...and he's kind-of like pressuring you, pressuring you, and you're like, 'What?' And you didn't get your guard up and he catches you with one...he catches you right in the jaw, you ate one! Were you thinking afterwards like, 'Man, I know I'm drawing a penalty here, but I gotta protect myself so I don't eat a fucking punch again like this, and set myself back with concussions'?" "Yeah, that obviously taught me a lot about protecting myself, for sure. For sure. You'd rather be the first one in there than the last one so...Yeah, it's not about dropping the gloves or anything, but getting your guard up and—definitely being the first guy to separate yourself, I think, is important. Yeah, I mean, that's all I'm gonna say about that."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

hey diddle diddle the cat with the fiddle...

"im not tough im not tough noooooo i felt bad about that man 😣😣🫣" dear god our players are acting like theyre not war criminals...ekky notoriously not a fighter hes just here for a fun time its not his fault he manages to get involved in every single scrum and starts ragdolling bodies guys

#aaron ekblad #aleksander barkov #florida panthers #i cant believe we got ekky to talk about the sasha hit...oh my god OH MY GOD #ekky absolutely resolute in his own conclusion but then trying to be as neutral as possible when talking about the way the league handled i #babygirl has his job on the line #“it was a dirty hit” “he aimed straight through his head” “if it was regular season it wouldve been a suspension”#“but also the league made the right decision at the end of the day ig”#i felt that “whatever” in my soul i went oh yeah im sure ekky #i know its your job or whatever to not light this league on fire but i dont have the same qualms the league shouldve been harsher :)#your feet left the ground dont “im not someone who plays wanting to injure” me :)#that may be true at other points in time but in that fucking moment your intent was to injure #i thought id be over this by now but no im still very much not #im still gonna be fucking petty over this shit till the day i die you hear me #do you ever think about ekky essentially admitting he felt so antsy that it pushed him to do something he later regrets because he just fel #so powerless and wanted to regain an ounce of control back in a 1 for 1 nightmare scenario #he talks a lot with his hands so yeah it is certainly something to see him start to fiddle with them as he starts to remember the sasha hit #this is just a fascinating study on ekkys habits and mannerisms when he starts to feel restless #also whyd you have to whine out the “im not tough im not tough noooooo”#man haunted by his past sins but would do them again if it mean sasha would be okay by the end of it #or however that goes

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redysetdare · 1 year ago

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I'm sorry but lmk not being clear on what MK knows about monkey king is sooo frustrating. He's some how his biggest fan who knows so much until the story requires him to have never known anything and it's like... why did you set him up as a monkey king fan it then just decide "actually he doesn't know shit" bro grew up to adulthood hearing stories and somehow knows Jack shit about the guy he supposedly fanboys over.

#text #monkie kid #tbh sounds like most lmk fans who never touched jjtw #but auuughh its so annoying to have that part of his character thrown out for plot #its not even a 'what he was told was wrong'#HE NEVER SAYS 'wait i thought it went like X'#He just straight up doesnt know shit about anything suddenly when the plot requires it #which is basically the moment macaque fucking shows up #this is one reason i hate that they dont actually tell us how much of the past is known and what the source is #monkey king is popular. is jttw real? u cant say 'tge past isnt what it seems' when we r never told the past #the show does jackshit to give us a timeline n jack shit to tell us what the world believes #so any changes they make to the past are usually annoying snd stupid and treated as such big reveal #when we had NO REASON to think things ever happened any other way #because they never fucking set it up with the world building #not to mention a majority of changes lately have been 'look at how awful wukong is actually'#completely ignoring his arc in jttw like thanks i fucking hate you #anyways

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ableedingpromise · 4 months ago

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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????

#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird #like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it #are u fucking insane #doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that #and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf #what about how u treated me from ages 13-16 #freak #i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl #person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw #fuck u #last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not #hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi #i want to cut so bad bro #but i promised myself i wont so #i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver #just remembered her reaction to me cutting #nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no #i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care #useless mother #im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least #at least stop trying to confront me like this #just let me rot in peace #i really dont want to do this anymore #any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now #as if that isnt insulting #and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok

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intertexts · 7 months ago

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also do you guys remember like a fucking month ago when i was like "man, i'm really interested in the way prime defenders is exploring bodily trauma, what with the relatively hard open to harttowa island & the chimera bioengineering being the first real heavy moments of the campaign, and wavelength being newly lizard mutated, & the Guys In Vyncent's Head, & whatever william and dakota have going on, im curious to see if that'll be a continuing theme!" & then i was like nahhhh thats stupid its a silly superhero show i'm reading too much into it just because those are themes that interest me personally -_- and tossed that entire line of thought in the bin. Well. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

#cant believe i actually just straight up forgot about that. insane. im so good at this game (having thoughts about themes and characters).#pd lb

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stonerzelda · 8 months ago

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idk what to say anymore lol like kinda have to think im the problem when it comes to jobs now....maybe i am asking too much to have decent customers And coworkers And like general good environment. Idk. I just complain about every job i get which on one hand: duh but in the other: ok u probably cant have it both ways gabi lol

#gahd. i can never have it leveled huh #always something #bizarre how 10 yrs into working retail only now am i getting the shitty coworkers and h8 to say it but unfortunately masking deffo plays #a part in it 🥴#like im treated differently and kept at arms length from the get go. retirement home fell apart when they lifted the mandate and i was the #only one still masking and literally like idk WHAT else i possibly coukdve done to get straight up bullied after that #and here again im alone and the others believe in homeopathy. saooo #that combined with my general like learning disabilities? im just a liability #confirmed to be thought of as just an idiot like straight up #no amount of effort is yielding me Any results except for maybe prolonging my time here Because km trying so hard #so they cant let me go lol #but oh my god dude come on. this is soooo stupid i dont underStand

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ravenmccookies · 16 days ago

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I have the same sense of fashion as whatever tf characters in underverse got going on

#cant believe i thought i was straight in middle school when i was an active fan of underverse at the time #the characters dress like ppl in a queer friend group #rambles #underverse

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cloudbends · 2 months ago

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I'm gonna be honest I never expected pokemon horizons to be up there as one of my favorite shows currently when I was first intrigued by it last april, but it keeps surpassing my expectations. I'm emotional.