#cannot figure out what the issue is lmfao

[pallases]

:/

[celestie0]

Idk if this is weird to ask but can you tell more about your situationship?😭 I’m curious since it inspired the story idkkk

nooo not weird at all haha, i had plans to share more ab it once i was done w kickoff but i dont really mind sharing a bit now (will literally always take up any chance to talk ab it it’s an impulse i cannot resist)

basically i met this guy like halfway through my freshman year of college at a frat event, it was a bit different from kickoff dynamic in that we started hooking up pretty soon after that, just a casual thing, but then the pandemic hit and so he went back home to live w his grandpa/family in new york (i live in cali) once campus shut down and stuff. obviously we couldn’t hook up anymore LMFAO but we still talked a lot and i think it was during this time of just talking to one another that i really started to catch massive feelings for him :”)

i went through some bad anxiety during covid, struggling a lot w my career and if i still wanted to pursue the things i thought i wanted (i think a lot of college students went through this w the pandooski) but he would always be there for me and would stay on facetime calls w me if i was struggling to study, he’d cheer me up w pics of his tibetan dogs lol, just reallyyy sweet ugh when we were long distance i rly saw a side of him i didn’t before and i think that’s what made me fall for him

i confessed to him first, similar to reader in kickoff, n told him we could do long distance until he moved back here. but then he hit me with the “i’m sorry, i can’t date you, i’ve got commitment issues”. in his case, he had a long-term girlfriend in high school for four years who he also was dating into college (before he met me), but he found out she had been cheating on him for a long time w not just one but multiple of his friends 😭 so..he said he has really bad trust issues, and that he really wanted to try to date me, but he just felt like he couldn’t

i was really hurt, obviously, but i think in hindsight maybe it was a responsible decision on his part to not throw me into a mess of a relationship w him, one he knew he wasn’t ready for. but at the time, i just thought that it was bc i wasn’t good enough to change his mind. anyways, he asked if we could still talk and be friends, and i said sure bc i didn’t really want to lose him. i figured i could just wait for him (and i told him that i would)

yeahhh well the waiting was way more fucking painful than i thought. he flew to cali once to visit me when flights were sort of resuming, which is just fucking insane because you’ll fly to see me but you won’t date me 😭, and i told him that it’d be the last time he ever sees me! and it was :”) maybe it was an impulsive decision by me, but idk. yknow when you get stuck in a limbo for what feels like forever that you make a decision just for the sake of making one (it was such a short amt of time in reality, but it felt like forever) he made a comment to me in our last conversation about how he really wished he didn’t have to be someone i had to wait on to change, and that really fuckin stuck w me lmao i cried so hard the drive home from the airport. i think all the “what-ifs” kinda sunk in at that moment

ch7 of kickoff was basically me trying to get inside the head of the guy from my situationship, and see what it’s like to have fears hold you back from wanting to experience something for yourself, something that could be beautiful if you would just give it a chance. i felt like if i wrote it from that angle, i’d have more understanding of my situationship (i dont have commitment issues myself, tbh i’ve never rlly understood the concept. like, i’ve been fucked over by ppl in my life too but i’m never one to punish the next person for it. dealing w my situationship was really hard because of this, i would get really frustrated, but writing ch7 from gojo’s character’s perspective made situationship guy’s feelings make more sense to me, i think, there was a sense of closure in that)

but anyways, i was in love w him for sure. like, possibly infatuated. there was a time where we got into a big argument about something and i think i legit i cried myself into a fever 💀 it was all so crazy and powerful, the feelings, i’ve been involved w n dated other guys since but of course none of it really compares. idk, i guess there are just some people that can make you feel that way, there’s really no use in understanding why.

this sounds so sappy, lmaoo i swear i truly am “over” him in that i hardly think of him that much anymore, n tbh i don’t think of him specifically all that much while i’m writing kickoff, but there are moments where i can’t help but bring those feelings into the story.

there’s a line in ch8, near the end of the bed scene, where reader has a thought like

“You feel so safe with him, and yet you also feel scared, because you like him so much that you would let him ruin you if he wanted to.”

yeah. that’s basically how i felt about him.

[the-force-awakens]

with it officially being disability pride month, I wanna talk about my favorite disabled headcanon, which is for the one and only, my most beloved Poe Dameron. Buckle up, because this is a long post.

I actually have a few different disability headcanons, most of which hold up to canon/are extrapolated from canon, so we'll keep that in mind as we go through. I expect this to have about...four parts total. Let's go!

Hard of Hearing

I think a good case can be made that Poe is hard of hearing, with a few instances that could point to this fact, primarily the very beginning of the Rise of Skywalker. Even though Chewie is sitting right beside Poe, Poe does not understand what Chewie has said, because his head is turned (at no other point does Poe have any problem understanding Chewbacca, so we know it is not a linguistics issue)

It's only when he turns towards Chewie and Chewie repeats what he said that Poe understands what was said. There's also the frankly adorable moment in The Last Jedi that's extremely easy to miss, because it's a far away shot and we just barely catch what Poe says:

BB-8 is beeping so fast trying to catch Poe up that Poe has to request that he slow down so Poe can understand him. Other possible evidence of him being HoH (beyond the comical amount of explosions he's constantly caught in) is that there are several shots where we see Poe carefully watching the lips of the person he's speaking to as they're talking, as if that might help him keep up.

And (I don't have a gif of this lmao I'm not giffing him getting hurt) when Poe gets shot in tros, @/dameronalone pointed out it could be evidence he didn't hear the approaching stormtroopers when he turned to look the other way. @/hermitmoss has also pointed to his line at the start of tfa while being snarky at Kylo as further possible evidence, about how it's hard to understand Ren with the voice modulator.

Essential Hand Tremor

Another fact pointed out to me by @/hermitmoss (thanks Braigwen) is that when Poe goes to cover Leia's hand with his own in the Last Jedi, we see that his hand is shaking:

I later noticed that this isn't the only time that we see Poe do this, we see it again in the Rise of Skywalker, where he cannot keep his blaster steady as Rey approaches the serpent at all.

These are the only two circumstances I can find of his hands trembling in the movies, though, and we know from plenty of other scenes that Poe ordinarily can keep a blaster extremely steady:

Autism & ADHD

Okay this one I don't consider to be a headcanon, lmfao. I genuinely believe that Poe was intentionally coded as autistic/ADHD by Oscar Isaac.

Oscar playing/coding Poe as something that is never explicitly confirmed by Disney is far from new: Poe is coded as a bisexual (or pansexual) man, because that's how Oscar Isaac saw Poe and chose to play him, and even if we weren't gifted with it being made explicit, it's still there in his performance.

If you happen to be a fan of Oscar Isaac, or just a Marvel and Star Wars fan both, you'll know he starred in the Disney+ series Moon Knight last year as the Moon Knight system (Steven Grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley).

Shortly after the first episode premiered, Oscar Isaac revealed in an interview that while trying to figure out who Steven was as a person, he came up with the idea that the system be on the Autism Spectrum, and approached Marvel to see if he could include it into his performances, and it was green-lit.

The Lunar system is the best intentional autistic representation I've ever seen, there are so many things they do that are so minor that I doubt most people would ever consider to include, but they are things that me and my friends do.

And there's an overlap in how Oscar plays the various autistic habits and traits of the Lunar system in how he portrays Poe. Most notably, Poe and Marc have extremely similar meltdowns:

There's plenty more overlap (Poe does the same anxious stim Steven does, of rubbing the inside of his index finger with his thumb) but there's so much there I'm not sure where all to begin. I have gone more in depth on the various autistic traits Poe shows throughout the films in this gifset here, though.

I'll go ahead and include some of the moments we see him stimming, that I have evidence of:

(he also does this same hand thing when he starts to leave BB-8 and promises to come back.)

We also see him fidgeting anxiously with his hands during the briefing in the last jedi:

Poe also has a habit of running his tongue along his bottom lip while he's stressed or thinking something through. Here's three examples from across the trilogy (there are plenty more):

We're leaning a little closer into ADHD territory now. I don't really know how to explain why I think Poe is ADHD, to be quite honest, besides the fact that he just radiates ADHD energy to me and I heavily relate. This is a man who cannot stay still, and frequently talks with his hands:

But there's also the fact that Poe oftentimes has a tendency to not be able to fully see the potential of negative outcomes to his decisions - he sees point a to point b, and sometimes becomes laser focused on that. It's something I understand perfectly, because it's hard for me to pull away from something I've already fully committed to doing, and it's even more difficult sometimes for me to truly understand what (and what kind of) consequences my actions will have.

Other evidence of him being extremely autistic (and adhd) is just....that he makes autistic expressions?

Like this...is an autistic expression, I've seen my best friend make this exact fucking face before, I don't know how else to explain it.

Misc Thoughts

Aside from the above, it's pretty much canon that Poe has anxiety and depression — at the very least, Poe Dameron: Free Fall by Alex Segura certainly does not shy away from the suggestion, and is one of the most implicit portrayals we have of it outside the films — it is a series of catastrophizing his circumstances that leads Poe to joining Zorii for a little while as a teenager, following a joyride that ended in a crash that Poe explicitly wishes he had not survived.

The movies themselves also points to Poe having PTSD, partially through the writing but mostly due to the nuanced and thoughtful performance Oscar Isaac gives as Poe (that goes....woefully underappreciated, seriously he adds so much depth to every single scene as Poe, including the thread of anxiety in Poe's voice when Rey mentions Ren's ship is over Kijimi, or constantly looking out to make sure they're not being followed in tros).

(Good expanded material follows through on this, such as Poe's reluctance to discuss anything about what happened aboard the Finalizer in the Poe Dameron: Flight Log, and becoming irate at the thought of having to. He's an extremely traumatized man, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be thrown out of an airlock jfc and he isn't as arrogant as the fascist regime he is fighting, tbh he's not arrogant at all).

Conclusion

I believe that sums up the majority of my Poe is disabled thoughts, or at least the ones that I think holds up very well within the canon framework. He's extremely disabled and - in the case of being neurodivergent - this is critical to understanding him as a character, especially considering his arc ends up being focused on interdependence.

I wish all fellow disabled folk a happy pride month, and I wish all very ableds a very "please do not be ableist on this post". You will be blocked otherwise.

[thescribblings]

LONG POST AHEAD! Lots of text and no drawings after the cut!

So, I've been procrastinating this post for a while because i don't have any art explaining his new arm except this one, and i wanted it to be pretty similar to, or even better than the first prosthetic post, but i don't think i can do anything more than an infodump today, lmfao sorry

But here it is! In all of its glowy/floaty glory!

Some facts and features about his arm under the cut

So, I'll just copy and paste what i wrote in my notes, since my brain is complete mush lately

The notes are unfinished and in no specific order, but i figured it might be interesting if you think my au is fun ,^,

His arm! Made of a mix of carbon fiber and whatever the fuck the metal future donnie invented is

-the metal parts of the arm are matte, for style, obviously

*The nails are made of a type of nanotech so he can customize everything about them, with some limits due to there being limited nanotech stored in the hand itself.

- he can have claws, short nails, stilettos, talons, or even a mix of them. He knows a thing or two about programming nanotechnology due to his other prosthetic, so he can customize it on his own eithout issue. And yes, he does

paint the nails on it, as well.

*Some form of electromagnetism keeps his hand and forearm attached, without it they'd just fall to the ground. Some things it can do with this feature involves;

-see how his sword is situated on his back? He couldn't possibly get it off without bending over backwards, it's too long, right? Actually, he can grab the handle with his prosthetic and then detach the hand from the forearm, this will let him independently control the hand, which lets him pull the sword out of its scabbard no problem

-the limbs can move independently, the only limit being his ability to focus enough to smoothly control the individual pieces. This lets him easily take his sword out of its scabbard with the hand while simultaneously blocking a hit with the forearm, for example

-since the hand is the only part that doesn't glow, it's much stealthier, so he can surprise attack opponents from behind, even when he's standing right in front of them

-are the parts sentient? Do they have independent will? He doesn't fuckin know, and neither does Donnie. He discovered that they can move independently on a whim and decided that it's best not to question it. He's totally not extremely cocky about having potentially created artificial intelligence on accident -Stickbug

*The individual pieces of the arm can hover, letting him do things like what is shown in the illustration

*Nanotech is stored in the individual pieces

-if something were to, say, slash his prosthetic forearm and leave a gash, the nanotech would mend it immediately, letting him keep fighting unaffected until he can properly fix the damage

-if something were to slice the entire forearm in two, the electromagnetism would pull the pieces together while the nanotech seals the gash, making the forearm good as new

*What is it powered by?

-i didn't mention this in the thigh prosthetic post, but his thigh isn't actually powered by anything, it doesn't need more than the guidance of his muscles to function

-the electromagnetism in the arm is powered by his ninpo, it lets him turn it on and off on a whim, and it gives him a more natural sense of control when he operates it

-his ninpo powers the electromagnetism, but what powers the rest of the arm? Trick question, it's the electromagnetism! It triggers mechanisms in the individual pieces that powers all the mechanical features, such as the nanotech, fingers, and a coupleo nes on brand with it being genius built:tm:

-since the arm is technically powered by, and connected to his ninpo, he can teleport it much like his nagamaki!

*since it's powered by his ninpo, if his ninpo gets spazzy he cannot use the arm. If he were to try to use the arm when his ninpo is spazzy, a lot of things might happen

-first things first, why would his ninpo be spazzy? It's a side effect of his body effectively sustaining itself with his ninpo for over a decade. It made up for lost sleep, lack of food and water, and everything you might need to, y'know, live. This quickly drained his ninpo until it was little more than a spark, and anytime that spark flickered out from him overworking himself, he'd crash and pass out for the next day and a half. He didn't actually know this was going on until he popped up in the present and everything just kinda started making sense

-it could switch on and off sporadically, causing it to fall to the floor and snap back into place at random

-the hand and forearm might suddenly shoot off in a random direction, which is hilarious, but also dangerous

-he would have basically no control over the arm, leading to jagged movement and randomly activating different features

-it might randomly teleport to or from him, depending on how he feels

*at first glance the previous point might seem like bad design choices, but it's actually a necessary feature! Since he tends to overdo it pretty often it's important that he can't use his prosthetic when his ninpo is spazzy

-his ninpo only gets spazzy if something triggers it, it's kinda like it switches between rest and survival mode, this gets triggered if he's overused his ninpo and it got too close to when he relied on it for survival

-the only way to fix his spazzy ninpo is, well, rest. A lot of napping. Which is why it's so important that he literally can't use his prosthetic when he needs rest

*It can teleport?

-why yes, it can! Being able to telepoort the pieces to and from himself gives him a huge advantge in battle. Since you can't disarm him! Pun intended

*it's a very silent piece of tech, which is ideal for his fighting style. the only part that makes the typical 'tech prosthetic' sounds is the fingers, as they are connected with joints instead of electromagnetism

*the flexible parts

-the main part covers the delt/ shoulder of his residual limb and wraps around his neck for a snug, comfortable fit.

-there's a sliver of it cutting the metal of the palm in half right between his fingers, giving it more mobility. (Try gently bending your own palm, it's surprisingly flexy)

-there's a small sliver at the 'wrist' of it, since it wouldn'tbe able to bend properly if there wasn't something leting that part of the hand bend, as well

-the flexible parts in the hand is yellow, while the piece covering his shoulder is green, adorned with his iconic shoulder stripe, in yellow, of course

-the green and yellow aren't a perfect colour match, they're a bit more saturated than his skin and markings, but it's not very noticable at first sight, so if he wears a hoodie over the arm his hand could be mistaken for a real hand, letting him hide it in public, to avoid stares

*The hand

-it has a softer, kinda rubbery material covering his palm and the length of the fingers that lets him tell different textures apart better, even if just by sound. It's a lighter, more desaturated green than the hand, even lighter thann his skin

-the soft material is not smooth, but rather textured, not bumpy, per se, just somewhat rough. Maybe a bit sandpaper-y

-the textured material gives him better grip, especially in battle, since it wouldn't exactly be ideal for a sword that is 5'7 long to suddenly fly across the battlefield. As funny as it would be, lol

-it also lets him control his grip strength better, so he doesn't accidentally crush someone's hand, or whatever object he was holding

*There's a good chance you might find him walking around with just the shoulder/bicep piece, since he can teleport the other pieces to himself at will, and it's less draining when he leaves them somewhere, off

Have nice day :]

[aleksiej]

what do wayne enterprises actually make/do?

(information found on the wiki)

main departments of Wayne Enterprises:

Wayne Tech - technology of any kind. retrieves and researches alien tech.

Wayne Biotech - entirety of gotham's healthcare, besides it's sister department mentioned later. makes medicine, looks for cure for cancer and is actively cloning body parts for transplants. researches brain surgery advancements, aids, hiv and reconstructive plastic surgery.

(funnily enough, no association with arkham or any psychological field of study)

Wayne Foods - focused on natural food with no man-made additions, organic and healthy and all.

Wayne Shipping - superbat, but also freighters and a massive amount of transportation of stuff. one of the biggest transportation companies in the world of dc.

Wayne Steel - steel mills and metal refineries, also work with alien tech. supplies ingredients for shipbuilding and the us navy (booooo!)

Wayne Shipbuilding - make commercial, luxury and military ships. again, close ties with us navy. they also repair a lot of ships, apparently.

Wayne Aerospace - full-on luxury private jets, but also makes research ones for nasa and, once more, aids us military.

Wayne Chemicals - research and development focused, deals in petrochemicals and alternative fuel sources.

Wayne Industries - industrial division for everything, from cars to clothes. works to be more green-friendly in their manufacturing business. has been reported to be mining gold and precious stones in africa, which is... hopefully unrealistically good for everyone involved. this is fiction, after all.

Wayne Medical - while Wayne Biotech focuses more on research, Wayne Medical focuses on treating diseases. it's the branch that runs most of gotham's hospitals.

Wayne Electronics - makes everything electronic, from a portable radio to satellites in space.

Wayne Entertainment - owns arenas and stadiums in gotham and metropolis (!), also work with multimedia providers and modeling agencies.

Wayne Institute - reportedly a "think tank" for people to figure out future problems. very important in gotham's development process.

Wayne Research Institute - researches anything and everything.

Wayne Foundation - funds scientific research and works with victims of crime and all of the gotham issues. world's biggest charity. provides all the types of help that batman himself cannot, just beating people up.

Thomas Wayne Foundation - free healthcare, gives out annual awards for medical research.

Martha Wayne Foundation - runs orphanages, soup kitchens and free schools, supports the arts and artists, sponsors a firm that helps lost people find each other.

i have not written it down, but every single one of those categories of Wayne Ent has a way it helps batman do his vigilante thing. it's on the wiki. i was reading about the history of Wayne Shipping and PAAL, when there's a sentence like "batman uses it to know everything about trafficking and smuggling and drugs" and then it continues like normal. lmfao.

[ace930615]

IMPORTANT PLEASE READDDD

Hey guys, unfortunately I'm going to have to take a hiatus for awhile :-( a lot is going on in my personal life with school and work, and as of recently a few weeks back around Christmas my grandmother caught covid and it really knocked her down and made her extremely weak. She can't really walk anymore, needs oxygen, has bowel incontinence, and dementia. She was in the hospital until about a week ago and was going to be living with my family for the time being until we figured out exactly what my nana needs. I honestly dont know why they discharged her because ... man she was still really bad and they knew that she wouldn't have a nurse to come to our house yet! She was residing in my sisters room while my sister moved into our father's office. My sister and i were taking care of her full time for a week, which was extremely stressful. My sister and i had to make sure she was eating/drinking, cleaning up after her (changing her diaper) constantly changing her sheets and making sure she wasn't taking her catheter or diaper off because she kept doing it lmfao. My sister and i told our dad she absolutely needs more assistance than what my sister and i were providing her, we couldn't even get her properly clean like in the bath since she still had a catheter and could barely move we would have to wipe her down! She started to get sick again and we brought her back to the hospital (which she ended up falling and hitting her head). They tried to discharge her back to our house again but eventually my dad got them to discharge her to a nursing home. She's about an hour away, and might need to go to more of a facility/rehab rather than an elderly home because of how sick she is. It's not something we can exactly afford, its going to take whatever little money she gets by the government (since shes not working obviously) and whatever medical/insurance can cover. There really isnt any other choice, we dont have anyone in the family who can dedicated 100% of their time taking care of her (which would have probably been my mom but shes dead), even then my nana would probably still need a nurse constantly if she were to live at our house. My dad and i have been dealing with her insurance since some of it is in my name, and we found out she stopped paying her bills months ago. This isnt surprising considering how downhill she has gone, even before she was sick but my dad wouldnt listen to my sister and i who were still taking care of her weekly because she just got so weak while she still lived in her apartment (due to old age and a number of medical issues). My nana is also incredibly stubborn and did not want to move out of her apartment for as long as she could. She still thinks she can go back but obviously not. So its been really messy! Really messy and stressful and sad LOL. On top I am also having computer issues which is preventing me from saving any art I draw, which honestly im probably just going to have to get a new computer at this point. If you have commissioned me please reach out, I will also be sending messages when i can to my commissioners and we can further discuss it. I am open to refunds at this time! Unless you are willing to wait until i come back, which could be a few months. I absolutely cannot focus on art professionally right now due to these circumstances. I haven't felt this since my mom got sick and passed away in 2016 so it's really... taking a toll on me and my family. Im sorry if this post is a mess there is so much more to this situation and its so complicated i tried to just go over the most important stuff. Thank you guys again. I will be back soon!

[c0rpseductor]

unfortunately lore olympus has been seizing my brain again (negative)

i think mostly bc the other day i decided to check out the fan comic someone else is doing that’s kind of like a “what if this was good” spite project. i read all of what’s out so far and i’m kind of like, waiting until there’s more of the comic to make any judgments i suppose. it’s still in the like, “setting stuff up” leg of the story it feels like.

it does i guess have me thinking about the original, like, “what did i initially see in this comic? what was the potential there that i was hoping would be realized? what did i want out of this story?” and it’s hard to really pinpoint. i’ve obviously spent eons ragging on it but at one point very early on i did like it.

for reasons i cannot really hope to articulate adequately i feel like i’ve Vibed With the mythological figure and what she represents for a long time, like beyond just bc of my ffxiv writing lmfao. so maybe it’s that? it kind of disappointed me that persephone LO didn’t really live up to the stuff i associate with the goddess i guess. But one could say that about all of the god stuff honestly. on one hand the context of the comic being that like, it takes place in ancient greece but the gods’ realms are all modern is interesting and something i enjoyed about it, but on the other i do think it kind of hampers the Gravitas and Thematic Resonance i would want out of these characters. and the tone of the comic was so light and fluffy the majority of the time that it just did not help. where is everybody’s dignity. why are we silly. come on

anyway. i’ve been having the itch to do character redesigns but i think a big issue is that i don’t really like the color coding design philosophy of the original comic in the first place even though that was also its Cool Style Gimmick? idk. i hate that it’s bad and yet i think about it. what is that all about?

[stepswowdsen]

【Magi】 JuAli Omake Rambles 🖤❤️💛

Snippets from a REALLY long convo I had with my friend Cinna (@/cinnamononions) who was reacting to the YGO DM manga.

It was mainly us going over the Kaiba centric scenes in YGO DM: Death-T arc, and she noted differences in the Finnish TL vs. Viz's official EN TL. I haven't posted that yet. I'll put it in a future post

The convo’s really long so I’ll mainly just post the Magi: JuAli tangent part of our big convo for now.

There's some YGO DM: KaiYami and YGO: GX JohaJu rambles and misc rambles from other series sprinkled in though.

I wanted to compare this Magi: JuAli omake between the fan-TL and Viz's official EN TL.

(I still haven't checked out the JP version for this scene yet. When I do, I'll make a new post)

Fan-TL

(Magi: Kou Empire Arc - Vol. 28 - Ch. 278)

Translated by @/arashidono

Official TL by Viz

Summary:

Fan-TL:

(+) More literal, which is interesting

(+) Usually more accurate in meaning

(+) I personally prefer the prose and wording, especially for important scenes

(-) Readable, but the text and pages aren't as clean obviously cuz they were scanned directly from the magazines at the time of Magi's release, so you can't see art details very well

(-) Fan-TL team had to figure out how to translate the names and terms, etc. So the names change overtime, and the fan scan team eventually adjusts to the most commonly accepted spellings

Viz (Official TL)

(+) Has higher res HD scans and much cleaner pages to see all the details of Ohtaka's art

(+) Well professional and sounds more natural, which is also interesting

(+) Typesetting is much better since it's done by professional typesetters rather than a hobbyist team of fans

(+/-) Consistency with how terms are translated, but they also choose really weird spellings tbh

(+/-) Viz's TL is ok. The translation generally gets the point across.

(+/-) Generally translates terms (ie. attack names) to English More distanced from the OG text in terms of meaning

(+/-) Character's speech styles can get lost with how Viz translates things though

(+/-) Often cuts dialogue shorter so it can fit within the speech bubbles, so Viz's TL often loses the full context for these lines

...

Me: Also first off I'm gonna start with my rambles that I genuinely prefer the fan-TL for this JuAli omake.

Alibaba's tone in his dialogue generally being much more calmer and softer and empathetic towards Judar (and thus, capturing the original intended meaning and tone much more closely to the OG JP version) is something I 100000% prefer. It feels more fitting to his chara.

Like WOOOOW the way Alibaba's "You seem rather spoiled and pampered, Judar," turns into "What a spoiled brat!" In Viz's version, does change the tone and way it comes across.

It loses the air of humbleness and maturity that his character has, late-Kou Empire arc and beyond

...

Me: What I cannot stand about Viz's prose is that they make everyone sound the same too. Their way of translating dialogue is so samey sounding. And it's not really the first time that a Viz official TL feels harsher. Like, a lot of softer nuances in charas' speech pattern just gets flat out erased in Viz's official TLs and it annoys me sm.

C: Yeah this is such a Viz thing, god. YGO DM’s Finnish TL still has this issue but at least like. Yugi and Jonouchi use different first person pronouns, etc. Subtle differences.

Me: RIGHT like I've seen tons of series officially localized by Viz and it's so typical of Viz's official TLs /neg

Me: Magi's official TL by Viz is fine, thank god. YGO DM and DGM by Viz are decent at least. My childhood series, KHR and MMBN/EXE were absolutely butchered by Viz's awful official EN TLs by them, tho, holy shit...

Also out of big manga EN localizers, my preferences for TL quality goes like this: Yen Press >>>>>> Kodansha >> Viz

Me: (Magi: Kou Empire arc - Vol. 28 - Ch. 278)

The JuAli omake

Judar's gay tsundere ass LMFAO 😭

Gay and a menace to women!

In the original, Judar just calls him haniwa ("Clay doll") but in the Viz version it's Sausage. LMAO

Like, one example that comes to mind for me is how Viz translates the JuAli scenes in the Kou Empire arc. Like their meeting on the Dark Continent with Judar and haniwa (clay doll) Alibaba.

Summary: Due to plot/story reasons, Alibaba is currently a sausage shaped haniwa (clay doll) like OoO and travelling with Judar.

Like it makes Alibaba's tone come off WAY different... Like he obviously has this air of humbleness and maturity to him, late Kou Empire arc and beyond, and it’s especially apparent in his scenes with Judar. But it loses that nuance with Viz's version.

The Viz TL is much less softer compared to the OG which is much softer in tone.

Can't say I'm a fan of how Viz translated this compared to the fan-TL tbh but it's. Ok. You get the gist of it. At least now I have Ohtaka's omake extra comics in HD though. I do appreciate Viz’s TL for that. It’s interesting to see cuz officials TLs almost always have more natural sounding liberal English, while fan-Tls are typically more literal and more accurate in meaning.

Magi: Vol. 28 - Ch. 278 - JuAli Omake

Fan-TL

Translated by @/arashidono

Alibaba: Looks like you were raised spoiled and pampered. I didn't expect that from you, Judar.

Official TL (Viz)

Alibaba: What a spoiled brat!

C: Oh yeah! Very different wording

Me: Like Alibaba's tone is clearly softer in OG

C: And a lot less sympathy in Viz's TL, too, even though Alibaba is supposed to be empathetic as a character.

C: Aaa yes this one

Lmao the tone is completely different

Me: Also Viz go fuck yourself for trying to make it sound like he's into women 😭 🖕

C: LMAOO

Me: But at least he (Judar) clears it up that he's not interested. Whews!

C: At least!

Me: Cuz I KNOW for a fact that Viz ALWAYS has a tendency for adding straight ship tease even when it doesn't exist in the OG text (source material), but tones down or erases gay subtext...

C: HKAKHLDKGKDNFKKDK YEAH THIS HAS INDEED HAPPENED.

Me: I think I just realized an example of this.

Iirc, Viz added MLW ship subtext that doesn't exist in OG with PokeSpe (Pokemon Special AKA Pokemon Adventures manga), vs. them toning down gay subtext with Kanda/Alma in DGM.

C: They really toned down actual queer coding in DGM 😭

C: And yeha I think Viz' PokeSpe TL adds some random fanservice for MLW ships

Can't remember specific examples but 🙄

Me: (Put the rest of the misc rambles at the end of this post)

...

C: Omg the sausage Alibaba story

Ahhh I see. That makes sense.

C: Viz is Viz, never expect too much /neg 😩

So valid

C: “WHAT A RUDE SAUSAGE” AJGKNAGNNANANANANS

Viz reducing the clay doll into a hot dog

Me: JUDAR IN THE VIZ TL CALLING ALIBABA "SAUSAGE" IN THE JUALI CHAPTERS I'M DECEASEDDDDD /POS /ENDEARING

Judar: Are you ok, sausage boy!?

THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I accept Haniwa (“Clay doll”) turning into Sausage cuz it’s really funny

...

C: HELPPP

Alibaba: You're not popular with girls? Just like me!

C: YEAH VALID

Sausage boy omg

Jar of Alibabas be like 🌭 jar

C: This is hilarious

Alibaba: You abuse your power, so you get to wear damp clothes.

C: The little high five when Judar manages to fly again by thinking of Aladdin omg

Cute

C: Tbh I like it but it's also distanced from OG text as per Viz 😩

...

Me: Yeah I love the haniwa Alibaba JuAli omake. It's so funny

My JuAli crumbs come from the JuAli chapters late Kou Empire arc and the omakes

Really good crumbs though

Me: “Viz is Viz never expect too much”

HHH YEAH

Like their TLs for Magi, AkaYona, and ROTRK are fine at least though

Me: “Viz reducing the clay doll into a hotdog”

VIZ MADE JUDAR'S LINE "WHAT A RUDE SAUSAGE!" RATHER THAN "YOU RUDE HANIWA!" IN THE FAN TL LMAO

Ok I get this one. This one’s fine with me. Maybe they thought clay doll was too clunky. It sounds fine to me though but alas. Plus Viz always translates terms into English. Like they do that with the attack names in Magi

We got Judar asking Alibaba "Are you ok sausage boy?" Out of it though. I'll live with that LMAOOO it's so funny

Me: “You’re not popular with girls? Just like me!”

YEAH HHHH

Alibaba telling Judar in the fan TL, "You mean you're unlucky with love? For the first time I feel close to you!" Lmaooo

Judar's gay ass: 🧍

S: HAH

Me: Judar asking Alibaba, "Are you ok, sausage boy?" In Viz's version LMAOOO

HELPPPP

Me: Alibaba telling Judar in the fan TL, "Power is wasted on you. Half dried clothes suit you best. You're such a pampered one." LOL

Me: YEA THIS IS FUNNY

Me: “The little high five is so cute”

Yeah JuAli doing the little high five is so cute

When Judar learns how to fly again in a space where his magical power is weak while thinking of how to beat Aladdin 😭😂

Alibaba knowing how to motivate Judar lmaooo

Me: “Tbh I like it but it’s distanced from the OG text, as per usual Viz”

Yeah this is how I feel about Viz's Magi. I surprisingly like most of it. Tho tbf Magi already has banger dialogue as a story/narrative, so it explains it. You can’t really ruin goated text unless you translate it really badly.

The way some lines are translated is just grrr though. It's fun to see Magi translated in more liberal English and I like it. It's generally fine. But yeah, as you said, Cinna, it's distanced from the OG text in terms of the meaning. I like how we have access to the high quality scans of Ohtaka's art for seeing details. The typesetting and fonts are better.

But I prefer the fan TL cuz it's closer to the OG text and more accurate in meaning. And I prefer the wording and prose tbh

Also the other thing is that EN official TLs usually have to shorten the length of the lines so it can fit within the speech bubbles (which is understandable). They get the point across fine, but lose the full context of dialogue lines. But I like reading good fan-TLs cuz they usually give me the full context that the original text intended.

...

Me: Now that I think about it, my KHR OC, Selena, is also a water themed gal :)

Selena (KHR AU), Tatsumiya (WATGBS AU), Kougyoku (Magi), my water themed wifey wife trio 🫶 🌊

C: “My JuAli crumbs come from late Kou Empire arc”

That's so valid

C: “Viz’s TLs for Magi, AkaYona, and ROTRK are fine tho”

YEAH... Their DGM translation isn't too bad either but it's still well. Viz.

C: “YOU RUDE SAUSAGE!”

FRIGGING SAUSAGE

Right and they can't have too many Japanese words included I bet

C: “Sausage boy is so funny tho. I’ll live with that”

TRUE JAHFJSJA

C: “You’re unlucky with love? For the first time, I feel close to you!”

Yea that is. Such a whole different sentence.

C: “Are you ok, sausage boy?”

Why is there no sausage emoji I can put here

🌭

C: LMAO

C: “JuAli doing the little high five is so cute”

That's. Definitely amusing lmao.

C: Yeah that makes sense

Yeee very valid Viz TLs often follow a very specific tone for all series (Which can definitely cause issues!

Me: Yeahhh exactly

As Lumen said, Viz's Magi official EN TL is still interesting to see cuz it's in more natural sounding English

But the fan-TL still sounds good and is more literal and I prefer the prose more. Also it's closer in meaning

Me: YEAH SAUSAGE IS SO FUNNY

Yeah Viz also translates all the Arabic inspired attack names to English so yeah

Me: Yeah ngl I'm not a fan of how Viz tried to imply this scene was about women

Fan-TL

Judar: The stupid king told me that I'd have more success in love wearing middle eastern clothes. Ha ha... He's so stupid...

Alibaba: You mean... You're unlucky with love!! For the first time, I feel close to you!

Viz

Judar: Besides, Sinbad said women love middle eastern clothes!! Ha ha! What an idiot!

Alibaba: Oh! You're not popular with girls?! Just like me!

Me: Like of course Judar's gay ass is just gonna be like 🧍 I don't like Viz trying to imply that. But thankfully the next page is still fine and clears it up. Cuz it still shows how disinterested he is in women

Me: “That’s definitely amusing lmao (irt JuAli’s little high five)”

Yeah it's like. In a way, they definitely know how to push each others' buttons, play with each others' curiosity and motivate each other!

Me: “Viz TLs often follow a very specific tone for their series”

Oh yeah that's also very true. And yeah it can definitely cause issues

Viz's official EN TL for AkaYona is generally pretty bland and it sounds so samey/affects how characters' speech styles are translated. It's ok for Magi tho.

C: Yea like especially characters' speech styles can really get lost with how Viz translates things

Also understandable

C: “Viz translates all the Arabic inspired attack names to English”

SAD AS HELL

C: “Official TL with more liberal English while fan TL is more accurate in meaning”

Oh yeah that makes sense

Pros and cons to both

C: HJFJFDKD REALLY SO DIFFERENT

C: YEAH VALID

Me:

Summary of my personal observations

Fan-TL

(+) More literal, which is interesting

(+) More accurate in meaning

(+) I personally prefer the prose and wording, especially for important scenes

(-) Readable, but the text and pages aren't as clean obviously cuz they were scanned directly from the magazines at the time of Magi's release, so you can't see art details very well

(-) Fan-TL team had to figure out how to translate the names and terms, etc. So the names change overtime, and the fan scan team eventually adjusts to the most commonly accepted spellings

Me:

Viz (Official TL)

(+) Has higher res HD scans and much cleaner pages to see all the details of Ohtaka's art

(+) Well professional and sounds more natural, which is also interesting

(+) Typesetting is much better since it's done by professional typesetters rather than a hobbyist team of fans

(+/-) Consistency with how terms are translated, but they also choose really weird spellings tbh

(+/-) Viz's TL is ok. The translation generally gets the point across.

(+/-) Generally translates terms (ie. attack names) to English More distanced from the OG text in terms of meaning

(+/-) Character's speech styles can get lost with how Viz translates things though

(+/-) Often cuts dialogue shorter so it can fit within the speech bubbles, so Viz's TL often loses the full context for these lines

Since I wanted to see how the text was originally intended to be read, so I read the Magi fan TL first. But reading in any order is fine

C: YEAH HAVFJSJDS

C: Yuuup

A lot of charas’ unique speech styles get slaughtered in translation especially if Viz is at it

C: That sounds about right

Yeah Viz often tries to water things down and make everything same-y which is....

C: Very valid

Me: “Charas’ unique speech styles get slaughtered in translation especially if Viz is in charge”

Yeahhh exactly. I agree… Yeah I also noticed a lot of times Viz cuts the dialogue for it to fit in the bubble and make it shorter. While the fan-TL generally gives more context to these lines

Me: Yeah it's why Viz’s official TLs are either decent, or sound generally bland.

Like AkaYona’s EN official TL by Viz has such bland prose, it’s so boring sounding to me.

ROTRK’s EN official TL by Viz is so good it’s hard to believe it’s a Viz localization LMFAO

C: Oh makes sense

Yuuup

...

DGM & YGO: Rambles

(MASSIVE DGM SPOILERS)

(Original)

Alma: I love you, Yu…

(Official TL by Viz)

Alma: You are dear to me, Yu…

Like??? Viz you ain't fucking worth shit

Also I'm assuming that Daisuki (大好き, "I love you") is used in this scene in DGM

...

Me: Ok I just realized an instance of "Viz adding ship tease to MLW ships when it isn't present in OG text"

Yeahhh like one example that came to mind was between Gold and Crys in PokeSpe, I think

They have an interesting dynamic in that they bring out the worst in each other, but it's just super unappealing as a ship imo

C: RIGHT LIKE

And yes it is with Daisuki

But Iirc I've understood Hoshino has on her Instagram talked of Kanda and Alma in ways that kind of imply the queer coding is very. very intentional

But I haven't seen a source augh

Me: Yeahhh, like, unlike most shounen, it actually feels very intentional here (irt the confession scene in DGM), so it is actually queer coding.

Which is different from unintentional/accidental shounen gay subtext (which is the majority of shounens)

C: Alma is literally a woman's soul put to a man's body. SOMETHING is queer there

Me: Even the Kaiba/Yami ship in YGO DM still counts as gay subtext cuz nothing is confirmed. The food is great tho but it's still accidental/unintentional shounen homoeroticism

C: Right like Kanda and Alma are really unlike anything It's obviously intentional which is really rare in mainstream shonen

C: Iirc yes

C: Yeah. 😭

Me: The only exceptions that I can think of is newer YGO series getting more progressive. Like the one I showed. Iirc, the recent YGO series spin-off, Go-Rush, actually has a love confession between the protag and his rival

Cuz even in previous YGO series, even when love is spelled out in a gay ship, they go the cheap route of keeping it as subtext and not confirming/going with any canon ships

C: Johto Trio in PokeSpe are great besties but I feel like Gold and Crystal being involved romantically would be miserable for them both, lol

C: Yeah!

But YGO is progressing in this regard

(MASSIVE YGO GX: SEASON 3 SPOILERS)

Me: Ok I'll try to sum up YGO GX: Season 3.

Judai is YGO GX's protag and Johan is his best friend who he immediately got along well with. They developed great synergy.

In YGO GX, when Yubel, the agender Duel Monster who wants to "take back Judai," possesses Johan, and duels Judai, they say, "You're actually aching with someone you love… How come you weren't this serious when I was the one involved?"

And in the series it explicitly spells out that Yubel acknowledges that the "love that Judai gave to her past self/reincarnation is now for Johan."

But YGO GX still goes the cheap route of not confirming any ships/not going with any canon ships, not with Johan, or Asuka who is the token femme love interest.

C: OH YEAH HSHFHSHDHSSH BATSHIT INSANE STUFF

Whatever they were trying to say with THIS

Me: YEAH THIS IS CRAZY FOR AN OLD 2000'S SHOUNEN SERIES

It's still gay subtext tho since they don't go with any canon ships or confirm anything.

Me: Kaiba/Yami's food is also batshit as well, but it's mainly gay subtext, similar to JohaJu.

It's also so so so funny cuz Yubel chooses to possess Johan specifically. Not Asuka. But Johan.

YGO DM: KaiYami

(YGO DM anime)

Kaiba: I tremble with desire...

(YGO: Duel Links - Mobile Game)

Kaiba: Even if all 8 billion people were here, it wouldn't be enough. Because the one person I want wouldn't be around. Reviving him is what this world needs! And what I need!

(YGO: DSOD - Movie)

The entirety of YGO: DSOD, that canonically takes place 6 months post-YGO DM manga canon. Kaiba is mourning in his own way for Yami Yuugi (Atem), wanting to revive the Pharaoh Atem and meet him again, remaking an entire holographic replica perfectly, for him to duel against but not being satisfied cuz it doesn't have Atem's soul, having an entire space station built so that he can try and reach Atem in the afterlife, being extremely overprotective of the Millenium Puzzle since he believes Atem's soul is trapped inside so it's surrounded by glass and lasers and shit, etc.

There's SO MUCH I'm not mentioning but yeah. Here's a snippet of KaiYami. A little sneak peek into Kaiba's obsession with Yami Yuugi (Atem)

[nereidprinc3ss]

i'm on my hands and knees BEGGING pls share some advice about improving one's writing skills? you're one of the best writers i've read

thank you so so much that means more than you realize😭💗💗 I don’t have any like CRAZY unexpected tips but here’s what helps me!!

literally just write, at the end of the day it’s the quickest way to get better and just by nature of doing it more often you WILL get better often without realizing for a while. i write almost every single day sometimes for hours if time permits, and obviously you don’t have to do that but i think it will make the most noticeable difference in your writing!

also reaaaddd i cannot stress this enough, read as much as you can, copy down sentences you like in your notes app or on paper, study the sentence structure and the diction and syntax and figure out what you like about it! that will go a long way in helping you discover what works for other writers and consequentially whats going to work for you

it can also help with any problem areas, like for me I consistently notice dialogue tags being an issue so i need to go back and read some well written books and figure out how they handle them!

also creative writing/fiction writing classes can be really really helpful, they will teach you things about craft you didn’t even realize factored in to writing

ok so looking back those are basic ass tips LMFAO but they are basic because they are effective!! anyway thank you for the kind words ily and i hope you have the best day ever

[gaybd1]

chris watches twilight for the first time

omg this blueish filter is wild is this like a Pacific Northwest thing

that girl is not tan enough to be from arizona

also I’m getting big gay energy from her so idk how this movie is gonna be like. plausible.

if the dad wasn’t a cop I’d definitely smash

do u guys remember though when they used to cast ACTUAL teenagers for teen roles? refreshing

wow this guy in the cowboy hat has MAJOR swag

oh nooo Taylor Lautner I grew up with him and he sucked (real)

idk why ppl always shat on kstew being like inexpressive in this??? seems fine??

all these vampire siblings date each other?? lolololol

so far this seems like a fun little teen drama idk. it’s so blue though

Edwards stare is so intense I KNOW rpat had a great time with this lolol

Lolllll imagine seeing someone try to switch classes to avoid u but u don’t even know them??

the daughter-distant father awkwardness is v nice, v realistic

ugh this dad is so hot

Does Edward have RED eyes girl that sounds like a red flag get away

Ok this soundtrack sucks

Wait so his eyes change? Why?

wow he stopped a bread van for her w his muscles how romanticccc

also how small is this school like how does everyone know her?

vampire doctor creeps me out

lol his name is carlisle what a square

taking bets at how soon he tells her he’s a vampire it’s probably pretty soon I’m gonna say like around the one hour mark

girl is she having sex dreams about him

God Edward really is so creepy eh

Lautner’s Michigan accent is sooo bad in this omggg I can’t

are these new vampires?? the whole eating people thing really disrupts the tone of the story

So gay of bella not to care about the dress shopping. And also just skipping prom lol

Edward just following her everywhere RUN GIRL

“I should make sure Bella gets something to eat” most awkward and obvious way to ask for a date

So she’s def a vegetarian and he def doesn’t eat people food

We’re like 40 minutes in and he’s already telling her lol

Anyway why can’t he read her mind is this like a soulmate thing

This is soooo fanfictiony lmao

So she finds out he can read minds and just lets it go lol

Edward is such a dumbass though she figured him out so easy lolllll

And now she’s having vampire sex dreams lmaoooo this movie is great

Oh here it comes the “I know what you are” “say it” lol I only know this scene bc it’s from a meme or something

lmao this speed animation

is he about to sparkle

BAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS

god they’re both crazy girl why are you so into him and Edward why are you so obsessed w her

ok yeah some of these lines suck

First of all these kids are missing class and for what

Second of all I cannot IMAGINE being a teenage straight girl seeing this for the first time when it comes out and basing my ENTIRE personality on this shitty ass self-insert fanfic ass plot

Girl how the hell can you be in love with him already

That’s so high school, they’re only walking together and people somehow know they’re together?

oh wow so the doctor turns these kids to stop them from dying that’s neat

I used to live only off tofu and I was very satisfied thank u very much

Wow he’s special about reading minds that’s convenient

He’s such a kid w her that’s not what I was expecting but I like it

They’re making Italian food for her bc her name is Bella lmfao

WOW anger issues much

He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t stop going to school, he doesn’t eat, terrible existence

Was that the author in the diner

HOLY FUCK HE SNEAKS INTO HER HOUSE AND WATCHES HER SLEEP RED ALERT

DONT KISS THE GUY WHO WANTS TO EAT YOU NOOOOO

there are so many problems here lol

Dad just messing w his gun at the kitchen table, so cop coded

So American coded actually lol

Wait Edward is gonna meet him w the gun there lmao

Vampire baseball lolllll

This is just one big incest nerd family

They could have tried a little harder w the cgi for such a big budget?? This looks like the CW. Feels like it too actually

FRENCH bad guy vampires??

These stakes seem suddenly way too high??

Don’t break the hot dads heart nooooo

This really does feel like the CW though

Yeah no Rosalie is right why does that family care about Bella so much like she’s a high school girlfriend not a wife lmao

I think I’m dumb but I don’t entirely understand what’s happening here like did Bella go back to Arizona?? Why did she have to go so far to get away from this guy

FUCK is he gonna run all the way to Arizona now lol

I just don’t know how things got so suddenly so dramatic like can’t this James guy just let it go why is he going to so much effort this just all seems so silly

Wow Black Swan

yeah again idk why everyone was hating on kstew’s performance in this, it’s good

How did Edward get there so fast is there like some portal between Arizona and Washington isn’t that like a 1-2 day drive?

This is a fancy ass ballet studio btw

Yeah this fight scene sucks

So Mufasa coded “Remember who you are”

What is happening to Bella now she doesn’t turn until the last book right? (I’ve never read it idk)

Why did that guy have venom?????

Wow finally creepy Edward gets what he wanted and can drink her up…… he ain’t gonna stop

Oh I get it he stops w the power of love. Okay. Whatever.

This SONG sucks

“You lost a lot of blood” yeah THANKS Edward

Oh god the old ass cellphones. Throwback.

Not sure why she’d need oxygen w the injuries she had tbh am I missing something or is it for drama

“You’re in here bc of me” damn straight

Go to Jacksonville Bella (I know she won’t)

Don’t be a baby about it Bella????

Oh fuck is she going to prom? THATS not gonna create School Drama at all…

“Alice lent me the dress” yeah you’re too gay to own any

I know it’s bc of my issues w lautner as a person but I hate Jacob and I ALSO hate that lautner claims to have “distant” indigenous heritage bc that is another thing that he didn’t have when we were kids so why is he playing this guy

“Should we dance?” “You’re serious?” Bro you came to prom together wtf did u think u we’re gonna do

All the music in this movie sucks ass

I don’t usually advocate for this with vampire stuff but I’d have less of a problem with the creepiness of this relationship if he DID turn her

If MY bf was a vampire I wouldn’t want to be human either wtf

Okay yeah I mean that movie was whatever. Glad I understand the pop culture references now I guess

Oh no oh wait oh god I gotta watch the rest of these movies now don’t I…. Please tell me they get better

[eruhamster]

shoutout to when i was so miserable living at my parents' with my abusive dad and no privacy whatsoever that i used to write the most disgusting, violent vegebul fanfic known to man and get hate mail on a daily basis about how evil i was for writing it. and then moved out and had to make one last chapter where i was like 'listen guys im not miserable anymore and physically cannot figure out what to write anymore. im normal now bye'

the kink is maintained through other people's comics and fanart n shit i just can't make my hands be the ones creating it anymore LOL

and that's like. tip of the iceberg. abuse does weird shit to your brain.

this is under a read more for a reason but LOL it just got me thinking of the kind of shit that i really cant discuss usually sjfgk

porn of anime kids where they're not just loli-looking and actually look and act like kids is fucked up but my brain is also fucked up enough that i have a weird interest in severe age gap caretaker/dependent kind of shit, but like. i end up putting myself in the position of the dependent. less weird when it's in a fantasy setting so you've got some thousands of years old god stuff going on where it's someone that's younger taking care of someone older that looks younger and was once older (ie paljae child of winter). also like.. caring for someone who's severely physically disabled. like double or quadruple amputee. i used to really like hetalia fanart of someone who made russia/china where yao was a douple or quadruple amputee and would get taken care of by ivan. i also remember some fucked up greentext from 4ch once that went over some really messed up fantasy of enslaved girls that get their limbs removed and get blinded and deafened and the only interactions they have with the world is like, sex toys and stuff and--

like this is shit i've been interested in since i was like. 12. and always in the position of the abused in these situations. oh how fucked up the brain can be. i think i just have issues with feeling neglected and not given any amount of special attention lmfao. i've said this before but in the right environment i definitely could have ended up in a situation like that chick in metamorphosis. probably also some kind of weird mental link as an aroace person with sexual stuff always having an inherent unequal relationship. thanks for coming to my therapy session doctor

[this-is-an-on-fire-garbage-can]

bodies bodies bodies. also im older.

i’m a different person but also the same kind of person. i still read webtoons lol. anyway i wanted to write some things about bodies bodies bodies because it’s getting complicated but i dont want to be witnessed, but also do. you know. also yes i know this movie is a hundred years in the past i dont care im talking about it

i wish bodies x3 wasn’t poisoned by lena wilson’s review - i think it deserves to be criticized and stand on its own. i also don’t really like how she reviewed it - like, they weren’t really. wearing sexualizing clothes, so to speak? 95 minutes of advertisements for cleavage feels egregious for a movie that really only has like, 5 minutes total of a pool scene

that said: onto my criticism

i think bodies x3 either needed to lean into the black comedy/absurdity more or into the satire more. i honestly sincerely think that a slasher was a great idea for a movie genre that needed an update - the high strung energy of being in a - and i know i sound like an old man - “hyperwoke” environment is very interesting, combined with - as many people have said - the kind of constant surveillance state we exist in. and the way that pushes people who might otherwise be normal assholes be like, nuanced assholes.

so, in my opinion, either it needed to poke more fun at how much we’ve pathologized ourselves. but then there’s also serious stuff, like how sophie says her friends learned she got sober and then went on with popping champagne and snorting coke. like, she has a point! even if she is the one that decides to be around them, and has bad commitment issues, and is a deeply bad girlfriend, it’s absolutely wild that nobody stopped to be like, maybe this isn’t how we should be treating our newly rehab-ed friend. and we only kind of have that language because therapyspeak is so prevalent.

but then on the other hand, there’s david, who literally accidentally slits his own throat because he’s having a stupid one-sided pissing contest with greg. that’s like... comedic. it’s hilarious that because he just cannot get over his masculinity being threatened to the point he accidentally kills himself and kicks of this paranoia fuelled nightmare. but - and i truly cannot emphasize this enough - this is also in a movie where sophie, who is terminally incapable of sincerity, sincerely makes a point about being triggered by people she’s kind of codependently attached to.

i guess maybe i think bodies x3 doesn’t decide whether it wants to be sincere or satirical - which is fine, i’m not demanding that every single movie has an easily digestible or even clear throughline to still be entertaining or good. but because it never leans into one or the other, it’s just vaguely confusing. i don’t want bodies x3 to reinvent the wheel or anything, but i also don’t want tradition.

i still really like it - in part because there’s a lot of new talent that i think would be a shame to put it down. i just think that - like do revenge - it’s very confused on how updating the movie would really change its dynamics. and, to be quite mean, i think it’s the boomerification of millenials. i think they haven’t quite figured out what gen z is about, and as a terminally online gen z, that’s a real shame.

p.s. i dont care if greg was innocent the way people keep slobbering over his existence is weird. he’s like double their age. he should’ve said no to alice lmfao the fuck

[eelhouserock]

lmfao it’s okay guys you can dislike reader inserts. just maybe dont outright tell people to stop putting them in lmfao, people dont like being commanded.

practicing mindless creation in fully self-indulgent ways is a BRILLIANT way to give yourself some joy, or even to warm up for a bigger drawing session. i’ve been dipping back into my MLP obsession because of the new infection AU boom, and it has unironically reignited my love for drawing.

because i lowkey agree with the anti reader insert guy on a personal level, but tumblr is the most loophole-finding and inquisitive site in the world, so of course they found the one actual issue with that statement 💀. nobody is the media police. make anything. and maybe don’t assume people are trying to police you when they exaggerate their dislike of something to a point that they start being rude. just ignore those people, because you CANNOT please them lmfao.

as a matter of fact, stop trying to “please” anyone with the finished result of the art— at least once, i think everyone should try to create JUST what makes you feel happy, not what helps you meet a personal goal. setting a goal for a piece can often diminish the joy you feel in creating it. just GET IN THERE. make something without expectation and see how it frees you, and incorporate that into your process. it’s really nice.

(example, this is why i use watercolor for warmup, because watercolor is a frustrating medium but seeing the colors just makes me happy. so i don’t draw a representative drawing for warmup, i practice my lines and blending. i enjoy the process but have no expectation! everyone has their own favorite parts of the art process, it’s just a matter of figuring out what is easiest for the individual. )

The stigma of self-inserts is so harmful to the creative process. Relax. Admit it. Everything you make is derivative of yourself, always, no exceptions. You can turn the mirror into tinier and tinier shards or you can make it as big as you want to reflect as much as you want. At the end of the day it's always going to show you inside of it. Pretending otherwise is stupid.

[blackvahana]

Finally figured out (part of) why Lev wanted to get me to play No Man's Sky and Reka (Baba Yaga apprentice game. It's a cute and funky indie game) despite the fact that I don't buy or play games lmfao

I was playing Reka... Weirdly had the thought "this feels like it's a new home". Odd because. I was not feeling at home in the game. Anyway. Yeah. Moving fucking house

There was an issue I was running up against irt the construction of ANVD where it exists outside of linear time. I tried for a few days there if piercing the veil of time so to speak which... the major issue was just I have not been taking care of myself lmfao and ignoring my own needs for ages now and my self pushes back against that, but.. I know theres a version of my house in a "future" (ANVD time) place... I couldn't get through the. what im just going to call the white veil. more so its the colour i associate with Grey, a really light, spring rain cloud grey, grey matter of the brain, but anyway. The time thing... I kept coming across the branching tree (metaphorical) holding periods of time like clumps of dirt between roots, and navigating it, or rather being put in front of it was a little... uh. it made existing pointless. i had no ties to any one time, I felt like entering one or the other(s) would just be an arbitrary choice to denounce most times in favour of one time and. yeah. no. I have shit to do wrt looking after myself, so Im stepping back from looking at the tree

I feel like ANVD where I live now is sort of. in-between the cracks of lived-in ANVD, which isn't a thing yet... I sort of live in this Void-mirroring - not Void-like - or more so Perceptual between-the-cracks.... I dont know how to put it in English. i live in a specific version of ANVD thats very much a thing, but its hollow and sterile as I have designed. I live I guess in a "part" of it that is within the snail shell, it is the snail. Point being that i attempt to keep myself away from whats coming, and like to keep it that way, hence why the Sky between the waters has in itself something that separates sky from sky and thats where i live. or. not? I dont get it, admittedly. I get it, but I've been chasing my own thoughts about this for months now lmfao

anyway. There was this sort of inference that the house should exist outside of time, or. look. I'll get to the point: A moving house is exactly what the fuck I've needed for so long now. It solves the problem of roaming, of moving through times, of being detached from the world, and so. In my mind it works like this: There's the house proper and the house that roams the world, sort of like the outside of the house exists in movement (probably a room of the house proper since the house is, as ive seen through time, becoming a fucking huge but neat fortress), pulled by mechanical animals. The house proper exists in this timeless spaceless sort of pocket in ANVD - probably existing like that with the windows leading out into ANVD. Im not entirely sure on it, because some part of me thinks i need to course-correct future me's decision to isolate the house from reality itself - but also. i dont. the black sea of RTG exists in ANVD and the house is within/across it which was planned, thanks very much past me, ugh. Ill figure it out.

Either way, it also solves the problem arising from Black and Red being absolutely nomadic by nature, and. i. look. my heart longs for nomadic life in a way i cannot describe. its Bliss, Ananda, it's blooming, it's my purpose, it's (etc emotions that are condensed to a mockery of their actual depths by putting them into words), so Im guessing this is just how it needs to be

also yes, howl Moving Castle is a mood

[acurseonyourwholefuckinbloodline]

chat am I trippin or am I the problem ?

Context, I make kms jokes at work, ONLY around my coworkers that know my humour and make the same kind of jokes as me, except this guy who recently started working here at my job. I cannot remember an incident where I made one of those jokes around someone I knew didn't like hearing them, or was a customer that I don't know, or a customer I know as well as a customer service person knows a regular at their job. The only time this guy has ever spoken to me about things that make him uncomfortable that I do, was one time, and it was about me shushing him (I did it jokingly, but when he told me it triggers him, I haven't done it again) but other than that he's never once spoken to me about anything like that. Our conversations have never been deeper than sarcastic jokes about Tumblr, my constant usage of the phrase "as a man all I do is lose" and previous work experience.

To further add, he told me (in one of our very first interactions) that he was hard of hearing so I'd have to speak up if I want him to hear me, so how he managed to "hear" me say what he claims I did from the other side of the room is odd to me. Also, the dirty chai thing, according to both me and Zel (not their real name), was never said. Zel had made a race joke (at their own race, which is mixed white/African American) that their matcha was dirty bc it was brown, and I said "aren't you brown? Are you calling yourself dirty lmfao???????" and they replied, without any hesitation "obviously, I'm black n***a" and I was literally just shocked 💀

Finally, I wasn't talking about our boss Anna when I first texted them, I was talking about Zel, who had once been friends with this person. Apparently this dude has been talking shit about me since he started working here, about my work ethic, my crude language, my inappropriate work behaviour, (mind you, my boss, who has never had an issue telling me that any of my current behaviour is something that needs to be corrected) and never once had the guts to tell me any of it to my face.

I talk the way I type, I don't feel the need to change that for anybody, but I can admit that maybe it does come off as hostile or rude. So I tried one final time to get my tone and my intent in my first messages across. I'm just trying to figure out if I'm the problem, or if he is, before I talk to my boss about it tomorrow morning.

[irresistiibles]

@mvsicinthedvrk​ submitted: this is about to be a long message but you know what? you are used to that from me in at least one thread of ours, so it is what it is!!!

thank you for your nice, too-nice words about my adminning. i wrote maig a whole essay about getting hired alksdj;lasdjf and i wont retype it for you, but i’m really happy to hear from your message that i set your mind at ease in terms of inviting someone new on the team. i set out really wanting to help do a good job, and i think it sounds like there are no outright performance complaints on your part re: my work here lmao, so i’m glad. your videos were LIFESAVERS, and i watched them so many times that for a while i heard your voice in my head anytime i did anything on the main. you seemed really comfortingly organized in terms of teaching me everything i needed to know. it was a lot, definitely, but i appreciated it. please know that i will literally never yell at anyone to get on the main, i physically do not have it in me to be able to do that, but if asks start piling up in the inbox you can all simply assume i am leaving it as a gift for someone else :’) lmfaoooooooo. but i do know that my work cleaning the inbox out regularly does NOT go un-appreciated, so thank you for making me feel like i am a useful member of the team.

and to compliment YOU, you’re always so good at dealing with ooc issues (which i really had no idea happened until i joined the team lmao) but you are so good at working things through and having a plan, and you’re so inventive in terms of events, like i cannot WAIT for the upcoming event that is based on your entirely unhinged doc. who could even come up with all of that other than you?? i’m really obsessed with everything you come up with.

and then in other admin group nonsense, too, you’re SO funny. every time i get to play jackbox with you all i have such a blast, and you specifically always have the best commentary. i really do think you need to start a podcast or something because the world should be forced to witness and appreciate your wit and humor. also related to jackpost i love how hard you are to beat at murder trivia, lmao. you have also made me see so many terrifying and/or cursed posts and links in the discord, many of which i will unfortunately never be able to cleanse from my memory, but i have such a good time in the chats in general regardless of that. really truly, thank you for letting me join you all, i really look forward to every week knowing that i’m going to have a good time talking to you and that i’ll get to help contribute a small part of helping make this rp run, because hidden really is such a special place. i know i’ve only been here for three years of the insane hidden five, but at the same time, i’m like-- wow, i’ve been here over half the time now, and i really can’t imagine my daily life without being part of this in some way. i wish you (and us???) success for the upcoming years!!

if you thought i was done writing this message, you would be wrong. now moving into WRITING positivity-- there’s so much i could say to you about getting to write with you, but our beefleaf threads. your shi qingxuan. they are my everything. i cannot think of a rush of endorphins and anxiety stronger than when i get a beefleaf reply from you: endorphins because i am so hype to read the next installment of their story and anxiety because i KNOW its going to hit me right in the gut, lmfao. and writing for those threads have challenged me in such interesting ways because of the many layers of complexity and having to figure out how to express what i want to say in a way that makes sense for he xuan; i’m so grateful to you that the beefleaf threads have helped let me explore that emotional depth in the narration. (if someone told me i’d be happy to sit working on one reply for four hours and get no other replies done that day idk if i’d believe them, but that’s what beefleaf makes me do sometimes) and seeing the end result is so so satisfying once i push through the distress, haha. so thank you for that, and i’m forever hoping that one day they will resolve the conflict (for their sakes, and ours!! rip). and then obviously i appreciate our other threads as well-- gu zi is such a delight. i’m obsessed with your fixation on qinghua; reading his replies are the pinnacle of entertainment for me to read, especially your threads with kasey between qinghua and qingqiu, please, they take me out. victor and yuri are such a reliably fun set of characters to throw together. and i still LOVE your nie huaisang headcanons! i think i owe you an unaware starter for him and wei wuxian, so that’ll happen at some point this week if i can get my shit together.

anyway i AM going to force myself to shut up now before this starts getting ridiculous if it’s not already. thank you for everything this year, and i’m really pleased that i can solidly look forward to another of the same laughter and emotional distress and chaos and compassion. i’m deeply lucky that i can call you my friend. much love, sincerely, ollie.

the fact you sent me so much i’m going to have to long post tw this ollie!! should be a crime!! when i can afford lawyers you will be hearing from them for emotional damages!! also would not reccomend calling me funny it is the type of compliment i will hold onto forever ahhhhhhhh but truly you are incredible. i am so so glad we’ve been able to meet and be friends going to sky beam all my love to you