#cannibal chef

[harleehazbinfics]

"Good morning, Sir!~ I've brought you breakfast! Today's menu is Venison meat cooked rare and a tasteful venison pie! I--.."

Your body freezes when you see Alastor with his back to you when you enter the room. You immediately notice his hair tied up into little ponytail that made your heart squeeze and stop for a few minutes. It was unclear if you we're very smitten by the look or if you were suffering from a heart attack.

"You were saying, (y/n)?" he asks finally facing you with a smug look on his face, enjoying your dumbfounded and flustered look.

(by @bean00ll i love them, i love the art)

"Sir Alastor! You look very dashing as always!" you screamed, eyes automatically shaping into hearts when you see him, gripping on the tray harder for dear life as you were mesmerized by his looks.

He chuckles at your love-struck eyes, softly which only made your knees weak almost buckling under you.

He reaches for your waist first keeping you steady, and then takes the tray in his hands, keeping his eyes on yours. While you kept your hands clasped together respecting your boundaries with him in fear that it would end this wonderful dream. He sits you on a chair while he serves the food on the table thereafter, he sits in front of you summoning a pair of plates and utensils.

"I'm feeling quite generous today, so how about we share a meal together? Just you and I," he says conclusively and seductively which you nodded your head to feverishly.

"Wonderful!"

--- CannibalChef!R list

Taglist: @kimkimmm2411

[witchofthesouls]

I feel like Miko would send Soundwave video of someone cooking cutting up octopus tentacles and eating them as a threat

Joke's on her because now Soundwave basically got her on speed dial to eat a Quintesson that ever strays to them. He would do it North American hibachi-style because nothing spells out doom than a dramatic production out of it.

He was raised in the Pits of Kaon. Someone eating his dead frame or feeding it to the animal cages were the least of his worries as a sparkling.

[venomgaia]

Hey do u think any of the district 23 chefs have ever gotten 'ingredients' from R corp. All that meat has to go somewhere, unless R corp is pulling a soylent green

I'm sure there are plenty of places that could actually manage to use 'ingredients' from R corp seeing as there's absolutely a surplus! Although, anyone who's procuring fresh 'ingredients' for the sake of the culinary arts...may end up with more of a mess than they bargained for...

[ghostdrinkssoup]

girls don’t want hannibal season 4 girls want a spin-off show that’s basically master chef but hannibal is the only judge and the rest of the cast are contestants except the catch is they don’t know all the ingredients are people-based (except will who’s desperately trying to convince everyone while also having homoerotic tension with hannibal) and it’s filmed like the special features clips on the shrek 2 DVD

[longpigitaly]

Do you wanna play with my belly 😈😏

[tellerficraz]

That date at the Cannibal Town

[heartbunnymoth]

more edited textposts

3 versions of the same one cuz i couldnt pick all of these found on pinterest or on my dash

[kisstoru]

suddenly i’m on a plate with an apple shoved in my mouth

[dutchhog]

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[liothebiblioklept]

Twin chef matching pfps because they're unironically the best characters in Little Nightmares one 💖

[harleehazbinfics]

ermm ermmm ,,,,, , cannibal!reader has like a sad past right (i saw u mention they were abused hence the obsession w approval) ,, well okay what if the hotel residents found out? like ... idk one of reader’s parents shows up at the hotel ... idk , honestly i just really love how you write cannibal reader theyre wildly silly

Crazy for you!

--- cannibal chef m.list

a/n: AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCHHH they/she is indeed very silly, i most of my inspo from myself and other fans of alastor and their reactions lmao. ive been stuck on one fanfic for days i gave up today and words just flowed for cannibal chef reader, i can't--. also plsplspls if you find any of this triggering pls turn back, i want all of you to be in a safe space.

warnings: abusive mother, shaming choice of clothing, weight shaming, typical asian behavior of 'be a doctor or lawyer' but rudeness level maxed out, being called ungrateful, useless etcetc DISCLAIMER: Any scenarios are entirely fictional and have no direct relation to any person and taken from behaviours I see, read or hear from. Thank you. word count: 1292

You, Alastor, Niffty, Husk, Angel and Sir Pentious got together and were enjoying a lazy weekend just lounging around the parlor just enjoying each other's company and talking amongst each other. The lot of them fitting on the couch and the floor. You stood beside Alastor sitting on a chair by himself drinking his coffee indulging himself in a casual conversation.

You all turn your heads when the door opens expecting to see Vaggie and Charlie, preparing to greet them and get them to join you all. However, they stop in themselves from doing so when they see the both of them touring a person in.

Your constant smile drops at the sight of her. You immediately recognize the face and voice making you slowly and quietly hid behind the chair Alastor making yourself small as to not catch their attention. Alastor, of course, notices this action and raises his eyebrow.

"And this is Angel and Sir Pentious our other guest, Niffty our cleaning maid and Husk our bartender. Alastor here is the host of the hotel, he's the who supported all our endeavors!" Charlie states.

"Oh! Isn't that the Radio Demon? Dear it is him! I'm a big fan of yours," your mother mooches at Alastor earning a displeased static sound from him when she abruptly shook his hand without his permission.

"Alastor, where's (y/n)? Aren't they always with you?" Charlie asks making you cringe as you cautiously walk towards them.

"(Y/n)? Is that you?" your mother asks in disbelief before enveloping you in a hug, which made you sick to your stomach. "Oh gosh! It's been years! Look at you! You look so skanky with that clothing. You also look like you've gained weight. I told you not to go to culinary school and be a doctor or lawyer instead. You look so fat now, probably from all that meat you're eating. You should've gone vegan look how your Aunt Karen slimmed down, she's been going around and teaching, crazy bitch. Anyway, take my luggage to my room, I need to talk to everyone here. Good? Great."

You tried to get a word in with dejected eyes but lose your voice when she gives you harsh glare. You sigh and take her bags and answered, "Yes mother."

Without you noticing, all the others went deathly silent as they watch you look so sad. Your almost permanent smile disappeared from your face making them surprised and worried. You always smiled around them, mimicking Alastor's grin that was plastered on your face. Sure, they've seen you drop the smile when you were separated with Alastor before but eventually you opened up to them and was seen constantly socializing and smiling around them making them feel relieved being the youngest of all of them, but they never seen you look so sad before. Coupled with the backhanded comments made by your mother, they couldn't help but feel hostile.

Indeed, you were crazy and a bit of a monster, but you were the sweetest most thoughtful thing that ever happened to them. Any occasion was prepared by you ranging from the Hotel's Anniversary, Birthdays and even as miniscule as just a mission accomplished on their rehabilitation program. This encouraged everyone to do better with how much faith you put in them. (That and your cooking is so out of this world that even Angel would dial his drug intake from a 15 to a 13 for a treat.)

So, when your sweet and genuine smile faded, they glared at the perpetrator that made you react so drastically. However, in respect for Charlie they held their tongue first.

"Sooo, what's your relationship with (y/n)?" Charlie asks trying to be polite despite the tense atmosphere.

"Oh, her? She's my daughter. Ungrateful little wench, I took care of her her whole life and the thanks I get is her running away home. Next thing I know she's in a boarding school for taking culinary classes. Where'd that bitch even get that money, she should've paid everything he owed to us first! Her parents! Say, can you make me a drink Whiskers? Just thinking of that bitch makes my head hurt. Make it snappy," she orders around slumping onto a vacant seat making herself very at home.

"Don't call me Whiskers, only my friends get to call me that. And I ain't taking shit from you," Husker replies turning his back at her.

She gasps dramatically and yells, "You call this hospitality?!"

She stands up trying to reach Husk, Angel stands in between them along with Pentious and Niffty before a black tendril shoots out from the ground wrapping around her.

"This is where I draw the line," Vaggie growls pointing her spear at your mother.

"What? You actually like that girl? Pft, what the fuck's that all about. She's ungrateful and good for nothing. You actually like someone as useless as her?" your mother laughs at the protective group, her eyes widen as she sees Charlie change into her demon form.

Alastor gently pushes her behind him stopping her in her tracks. He says, "I'll handle this. This obviously concerns my closest companion so this will fall into my hands."

Your mother scrutinizes him finding his tone and gesture quite odd then her eyes lighten up in recognition. She laughs at him and yells, "You can't be serious! You like that--"

She gets cut off as the tendril wraps around her mouth and drags you in his shadow, ceasing her muffled screams. As soon as she disappears, you come down finding all of them but your mom.

"Where's my mom?"

"Sheeee changed her mind! Yeah! She told us that she had something to do," Charlie lies between her teeth with an anxious look in her eyes making Vaggie elbow her despite her doing the same.

"Oh, I see," you say still not smiling, "Will she come back? Her things are still here."

"Nah. She ain't comin' back, sweet cheeks. She's got better shit to do apparently and wanted us to drop off her stuff on an address," Angel casually lies beckoning her to sit with them petting your head after.

Husk nudges Pentious making him confused for a while before getting the message, answering, " Y-yes! I will do it right now. Eggbois! Take the woman's things outside the hotel!"

While the little eggs tottered to do their master's bidding your eyes slowly light up but not fully their yet.

"Look kid, we won't prod into your business but know if you ever need someone to talk to, you've got a bartender right here," Husk jokes with a grin holding onto his suspenders in a pose making you slightly giggle.

"Hey, hey you got us too!" Angel, Charlie, Niffty and Pentious (that got back from telling them to throw the old bat's shit into the garbage) joined in earning a smile from Vaggie and Alastor.

After you felt better, you called in for the day and left to your rooms. After escorting Alastor to his room he snags you inside then comes in close before petting your head tenderly.

You look at him surprised, although without your normal heart eyes that you give him, confused at his actions.

He brushes his fingers against your cheek electrifying you and states, "Whenever you get into trouble, tell me. I'll handle it myself, after all you are mine."

Your eyes shape into hearts, legs turning into jelly, heart beating faster and faster by the millisecond, trying to comprehend the weight of his words and engraving them into your brain.

"Understood?" he asks pleased with your reaction.

"Yes, Sir~" you breathed out finding yourself flushed red, breath hot and heavily.

"Good," he smiles devilishly.

(I'll leave the ending as ambiguous 😌)

[fizziepopangel]

"This face was made for radio!"

Alastor is aro/ace but his love language is touch. Having been abused by his father as a child caused him to have a deep seeded anxiety around touch, and now being a demon most fear being in the presence of, let alone close enough to touch in any way, he often ends up being touch starved since most refuse to be around the demon long enough to build any sort of trust that would lead to any sort of touch.

Despite his lone wolf attitude, Alastor has grown quite attached to Husk and Niffty his closest friends. Although Husk hates the fact that this relationship is based in the fact that he is quite literally bound to the radio demon and Alastor has threatened him on multiple occasions, Alastor still considers himself closest to the gambling man.

He views Niffty as a daughter which is why he seems to be just a bit softer with her in a way in comparison to how he is with the others.

Charlie made the decision that they would all have a ‘family dinner’ every friday night where everyone would take turns cooking, she even made a little chart to remind everyone whose turn it was to cook….. Alastor, was quite upset to find that he was the only one excluded from this chart because everyone was afraid his… “unique” taste was a bit too different from theirs given his cannibalistic tendencies.

Although Husk has a deep anger toward the man who owns his soul, he gave Alastor his night to cook for this family dinner after seeing how upset he was given that he was excluded from the cooking chart. Alastor was absolutely over the moon when he got the chance to cook for everyone.

He gravitates toward women that remind him of his mother. Even as an aroace man, he finds that they have a comforting aura and they remind him a lot of home, though he would never admit that to anyone.

Rosie was his first friend in hell and he hated being away from her during his seven year “sabbatical”. The second he came back, he went straight to Cannibal Town to see her, bringing flowers and dinner for the both of them so they could catch up over a nice meal.

Alastor has Husk contracted to him to serve drinks mostly…. But funnily enough, Alastor doesn’t drink very much anymore. A glass of wine or two every now and then, but he’s put most of his drinking days behind him and prefers tea for the most part.

Being quite the mama’s boy when he was living, he still celebrates his mother’s birthday and mothers day despite the fact that his mom isn’t in hell with him. On her birthday, he bakes her favorite cake, and on mothers day, he makes her a card like he used to as a kid even though he knows that he can’t give it to her, while he allows the cake to be eaten, he has a box full of cards he’s made for her over the years in his room hidden in his closet.

Husk, Niffty, and Rosie are the only people who he’s ever talked to about his parents. The radio demon has spent nights crying to Rosie about missing his mother and the home he grew up in, and he’s shown Niffty the photo he keeps of his mother and him from his time in the human world and shown her cleaning tricks his mother taught him… 

Though when he’s spoken to Husk about his parents, it was more like the two of them comparing how shitty their fathers were rather than Alastor talking about how he always thought his mother was a saint. Truthfully, he feels bad about it since he knows his mother was better to him than Husks’s was in most instances and Alastor’s mother always taught him not to brag.

Alastor and Vox used to be friends, but Vox misread their friendship and wanted more. Despite Alastor not wanting to end their friendship, it got weird after he rejected Vox’s advances and Vox got pissy because he hadn’t realized that the rejection had nothing to do with him but rather that Alastor just didn’t really have those feelings for anyone.Vox chose violence, and Alastor didn’t turn down the fight, leading to a feud that just continued to spiral into their current rivalry.

Although he hates the “noisy picture box”, Alastor and Rosie have little sleepovers at Rosie’s home in Cannibal Town where they often watch Hella Novelas together and trash talk the characters.

Alastor became a radio host before he became a cannibal.

His first cannibal meal was a horribly cooked rack of ribs that was served to him at a party after befriending a man who he thought jokingly said he ate other people….. But despite being overly cooked in the worst ways, it was still the best rack of ribs he had ever tasted.

Soon after his arrival in hell, Alastor published the #1 best selling cannibal cookbook in Hell by the title of “Friends For Dinner”. followed soon after by his other three cannibal cookbooks “Nice to (M)Eat You”, “101 Bloody Good Dessert Recipes”, and “Eat Your Heart Out: Valentines Recipes & Breakup Pick Me Ups”. And yes, Rosie has signed copies of each book displayed in her store.

[ladykissingfish]

*everyone sitting in the living room eating pie* Itachi: This is simply delicious. Hidan, with a mouth full: Yeah! My compliments to the chef. Fuckin' gorgeous and can cook ... oi, Konan, when I figure out how to off the old bastard, you're gonna marry me, right? Konan, blushing: Thank you for the compliment, but, I didn't make this pie. Deidara: Then who did, hm? Zetsu: It was us. *everyone stops eaing* Kakuzu: ... It was you? Zetsu: Yes. And it's heartening to hear how appreciative everyone is of our efforts. Nagato: Zetsu, as I'm sure you're well aware, I have several health issues. I have to be careful with what I eat. I AM eating apple pie right now, aren't I? Zetsu: If having apples in it makes it an apple pie, then yes. Tobi, in Obito voice: What in the hell does that even mean?! Kisame: Zetsu ...what else is in this? Zetsu, smiling: Ah, that's a secret, my friend. A good master chef never reveals his entire recipe. Lets just say my ingredients are all organic. Very organic. As fresh as possible. Deidara: To echo Tobi, what the hell does that mean?! I-- *Sasori enters the room* Sasori: Goodness, brat, you're being loud. I'd keep it down if I were you, I'm already quite angry with you. Deidara: Angry? I haven't even done anything! Sasori: Really? *holds up a human arm* So you DIDN'T damage those nin I just brought in last night? The ones I was going to make into new puppets? Really, I'm aware that you have no respect for my art, but that doesn't mean that you need try and sabotage me! And have some respect for the dead, for God's sake! There are bits of flesh torn out from all over them, and -- *the sound of everyone emptying their stomachs all at once* Sasori: W-wha the hell ... Zetsu, shrugging: I suppose some people just aren't appreciative of gourmet cuisine.

[dunmeshi-would-you-eat]

Wurm's "Nerve-Clipped Marcille"

[longpigitaly]

This pig is read for the oven 😏