#can't run dude
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This guy thought he could run from me and my Ultra Stamp!
From November 20th, 2022
#splatoon#splatoon 3#sploon#sploon 3#in game#turf war#splatana wiper#ultra stamp#can't run dude#i can throw this thing#eeltail alley#nintendo#nintendo switch#video#queue
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silly dog privilege
#pov you run into false and her bodyguard#(he's not great)#rendog#false symmetry#falsesymmetry#renthedog#hermitblr#hermitcraft#my art#he immediately forgot their codeword I can't believe this#dude I keep forgetting that she's wearing SHORTS!!! not pants!!!
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shuichi posting
#my art#fanart#strawberridraws#danganronpa#drv3#shuichi saihara#character design#don't ask me what possessed me to make this#(its the game grumps play through. the demons have officially returned)#all my aus and head canons bouncing around at maximum velocity rn..#technically this is part of my “the tragedy was real” au / towa kids au#but shuichi (in that au) was kinda just like#what he is on the tin#aka a nice dude taken under his uncles wing post parent death (tragedy) (they were on vacation and got caught up in one of the worst areas)#in my au its like. imagine a weather map with hotspots; that's how the tragedy worked#so shuichi lived in a less effected area but with the rise of infected people (like zombie apocalypse style) (and animorphs brain worm styl#as you cannot tell who is effected by despair and to what extent unless they choose to reveal themselves)#there was a hugeee uptick in crime and shit so he started working with his uncle early on#eventually his uncle went missing (I think its not super hammered out) and he went to investigate#which is when he runs into his like Gang of pregame ppl#(Kaito maki Kaede)#and later some others (towa kid gang [kokichi gang but with drv3 kids] island gang [angie kork n amami])#ANYWAYS its a thing...#ik its been like 3 years since I first posted about it but u can't control the brain worms ig#and I just wanted to do a redesign lmao
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bttf au where they send Jennifer (criminally underused) to retrieve the sports almanac to avoid the tremendous problem of Marty accidentally meeting himself, which instead causes some tremendous other problems
#the other tremendous problem is marty running after her going 'HEY WHAT THE FUCK' and almost missing his flight back to 1985#back to the future#marty mcfly#jennifer parker#look bttf is a perfect movie i genuinely think#but bttf2 and 3 for sure arent because they HAD jennifer right there and then DIDNT USE HER#and while i prefer the original actress the lady they recast in the 2nd movie was so good with her physical comedy#anyway there is most of an au developing in my head. marty has an extremely bad time (he's dead for a good chunk lmao)#also jennifer in cute 1950s clothes :) tho she can't do her hair 50s style she has some degree of 80s teenage pride#didn't think i'd hyperfixate on bttf and i've tried to stave it off for like two months but. dude im in#drawings#jennifer parker versus the present
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Sounds like a YOU problem...
#at least once a week I get some schmoe. some yoyo accusing me of converting them into Blacaviar. As if expecting an apology-#I'm a dork with too much free time dude.#I can't make you lot do JACK#take responsibility for your own addiction#I just provide the drugs#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#captain caviar cookie#black pearl cookie#blacaviar
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SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!
COWBOY P3🤠🤠🐎
That sketch not good, but it's still exist. I don't have anything else to post yet :(
Idk what to say. So, can i call him a fandude? I think yes...
(I LOVE THAT HIS CAPE ON ORIGINAL MODEL LOOKS LIKE A DUSTER)
#postal#postal fanart#postal 3#postal 3 dude#postal dude#fanart#art#digital art#rws#running with scissors#akella#i love draw p3 like silly babygirl#you can't stop me#fandude
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I have to say when it comes for episode 107 I'm on the camp of this feeling wrong. Like, two gods' plan is to just let Ludinus just have his way? And just assume that the vessel won't get them? The Wildmother showed Orym the time Predathos came to town, it took out two of them in a blink and the Titans did the heavy lifting, it chased them from Tengar to Exandria without concept of navigation so it's foolish to think they won't do the same this time around. Running forever isn't a life even the infinite should be pursuing. Corellon is cheeky and flirty but it's a mask for being deflective and honestly a little cowardly. What you're asking and trying to persuade with gifts requires the Hells to entertain sacrificing one of their own, which they shouldn't (and I'm hopeful they won't, because that'd be to me at least be a character betrayal since they have always prioritized each other over the gods) consider doing even for any kind of promise, and treating it like it's a necessity, as if leaving like you've decided you want to do now is your 'sacrifice'? Even if being a vessel and still being of sound mind was a viable option with proof that it can work that way, there are too many unknown factors that it seems not even the gods have answers for, so it should all trail back to the fact that this is STILL not a risk worth taking and Ludinus should not be having his way.
I guess part of this feeling comes down to the fact that this was not what I was hoping to get out of the episode; I'm always open to being surprised (because I often am) but it has to be in a good way, this was not a good way. But we'll have to see where it goes, this is a proposal of two gods against a majority yet to say their piece and could still be heard out, I still trust Matt's vision and Abu DM's like smooth butter, but the god debate admittedly continues to wear on me - we were already in a state where we were open to talk but now they're conspiring against one another too? Can we not just focus on Plan A: Unite to Stop Ludinus from releasing Predathos? Evoroa literally said Ludinus' plan is to divide why are we sowing more division? Couldn't just kill Zathuda and take his dragon for Fearne...this should've been Bell's Hells' big win to make up for Otohan but now for me at least it feels a little sour.
#critical role#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e107#bells hells#corellon the arch heart#ludinus da'leth#predathos#fearne calloway#imogen temult#man when the stormlord sees that ring they're gonna go 'dude I called dibs on the lightning girl!'#it's good stats at least minus the last ditch 'meteor or death'#is that Imogen's relic now? Because I was still hoping for like a weather staff (I called it the Weathervein) for her - can she double dip?#but why save Zathuda? If you have questions there's the Speak with the Dead bracelet#Fearne at least may've won over the Unseelie by noting Ludinus' fey absorbing to one of their emissaries#and Ashton got to slushify Simul-Ludinus and pulled out most of the group from the collapsing temple#Braius this is like 3 gods you're trying to bid for you#but yeah Corellon I'm kinda disappointed in you because how dare you ask them to sacrifice Fearne or Imogen!#you wanna act righteous put yourself in the line of fire - don't risk Calamity 2.0 and plot to turn tail and run#Matron please tell me you're not the other god - help push the 'stop predathos first then we'll negotiate the after as equals' idea#can't rule out that this is actually Azzy M too
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I'm scared.
It's scary to see someone who doesn't consider you a human being to have so much power.
As a Pole I'm literally scared of what does it mean for Russia and future of Europe.
I fear for Ukraine. I fear for any country near Russia. I fear for Poland, historically invaded by Russia many times, and already mentioned by Russians as a possible next target.
I fear for women in US. We already have our almost-total abortion ban in Poland. And it doesn't matter that under some circumstances the abortion is permitted if the medical staff is too scared of legal repercussions to do anything. It doesn't matter that it's permissible if the country allows the OBGYN and others to follow the "conscience clause", which is just a fancy word for forcing religion down women's throats. If performing a medical procedure goes against your religion, do not become a fucking doctor.
Women die over this. It's not just religion. It's not just politics. Along with the abortion ban goes the penalization of any help anyone can offer to women wanting to terminate pregnancy. We are left alone with this.
And don't even get me started on the minorities in the US. You know, I remember, there was a guy in Europe, a Prussian artist-visionaire, who had similar ideas about mass segregation of people. They even set up places for them to stay. I wonder how did that one go, hmmmm.
I... I just need a nap.
Seasonal depression hits especially hard this year.
#pardon my unusual posting#I'm just feeling so scared and alone right now#i can't see how this choice is good for anyone but rich white male americans#he was born into unimaginable wealth#American really does vote like a group of slightly inconvenienced millionaires#most of you Trump voters are poor my dudes#and you just made yourself poorer#Trump is not your friend#he's not “one of the guys”#he's not “like an ordinary person”#he literally doesn't care#he became republican only because it's easier to run as one#he doesn't even share your beliefs#2024 presidential election#kamala harris#donald trump
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Kuchisake-onna vs Duke Thomas (Signal)
In a dimly lit alleyway, a malevolent woman, Kuchisake-onna walked over to a distracted Signal (Duke Thomas) as he texted some hero friends on his phone.
Kuchisake-onna (sinister tone): Excuse me?
Duke (glancing up from his phone, exasperated): Yes—Oh God Damn it.
Duke scanned the area, realizing he was alone with the legendary Kuchisake-onna, the slit-mouthed woman.
He had been trying to avoid this situation ever since he overheard Zatanna and Dick discussing her dark lore and how she was summoned to Gotham.
For a reason he didn't know and didn't care to know. He had made it clear he didn’t mess with the spirits, but now he stood next to this malicious being.
Duke (thinking to himself, fearful): I have to come up with a plan to escape. I’m not Batman though. Damn it.
Kuchisake-onna's eyes narrowed, her voice low and firm.
Kuchisake-onna: Am I—
Duke (interrupting, panic setting in): Nah! Gotta go! Not dying or getting slashed.
With that, Duke turned to run, hoping the folklore tips he read would save him. Unfortunately, the ghostly figure didn’t allow him to escape so easily.
Kuchisake-onna (chasing after him, her voice demanding): Hey, that’s not how the game goes! Too many people have escaped that way. You will answer my question!
Duke spun around, preparing for the worst. He faced the aura of malice in the form of a woman wearing a CDC face mask, and exhaled deeply, resigned.
Duke (trying to sound less terrified): I’m going to punch Nightwing if I survive this. Let’s get this over with—ask the stupid question.
Kuchisake-onna leaned forward, anticipation in her voice.
Kuchisake-onna: Am I pretty?
Duke (rolling his eyes): Is anyone pretty? Look, society is way too focused on appearances.
Kuchisake-onna (taken aback, confused): What?
Duke (taking a few steps back with his arms crossed): I'm just saying, I have a friend who can look basic to some and then make the Forbes Most Attractive Men list the next. Meanwhile, I see myself as foine, but kind of of basic.
Kuchisake-onna raised her eyebrow, not satisfied with his avoidance.
Kuchisake-onna: That wasn’t an answer to my question. Am I pretty?
Duke (squinting, a tad defensive): I’m blind in my right eye, and it’s blurry as hell in my left eye. Did you assume I could see so you could get an answer about your looks? You are rude, sir. Incredibly rude!
Kuchisake-onna, taken aback and stammering while clutching a pair of scissors, struggled to regain composure.
Kuchisake-onna (confused): I— You— Um—
In a bold move, Duke snatched the scissors from her hands and took off running before she could react.
Kuchisake-onna (shouting, infuriated): Those were my scissors!
Duke (looking back over his shoulder as he dashed away): They���re mine now! Bye-bye!
Duke’s laughter echoed down the alley as he turned the corner, leaving the bewildered ghost behind. Kuchisake-onna stomped her foot in frustration, wrestling with her astonishment.
Kuchisake-onna (muttering to herself, irritated): This would’ve never happened in Japan. Damn Americans.
#duke thomas#duke don't mess with vengeful Japanese spirits but he will trick them to run away in time#batman#script fic#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily fluff#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily microfiction#batfamily funny#batfamily headcanons#microfiction#batfamily#batman would be proud honestly#batfamily microseries#dc fanfiction#writers on tumblr#batfamily wholesome#canon divergence#duke thomas is the one dude to survive in a horror movie#if you can't fight ghosts confuse them! lol#dc signal#no beta we die like jason todd#batfamily adventures#writers of ao3#original writing
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wild to me to see posts like "wow everything in the tempest is named after shakespeare...emet you melodramatic bitch you sure loved theater". because the prospero-emet thing gets played up so hard in the english script and you can carry it so far!
like prospero is an asshole magician who, after being deposed by his brother as duke of milan, settles himself and his daughter on a remote island, enslaves the local spirits using his magic, and bitterly plots to reclaim his past glories. he rules through violence and deceit, and only survives and is reconciled when his plots reach their fruition and his brother is taken to his remote island and plots ensue and everyone decides he was totally right all along and they were huge dicks to him and they're sooooo sorry and he gets to go back and be duke again wow! and it's okay because he's like "i was only doing mean magic to get my rightful spot back and now i'm giving it up because magic is evil. :)"
the tempest is what emet wants his life to be. prospero is not a villain in the text of the tempest. he is barely treated as antagonistic by the text and framing of the play itself. all his abuses, his neglect and control of his daughter, his enslavement of caliban and ariel (local spirits/monsters/people of the island), his deception and plots against his brother, his abuse of magical powers (not awesome, from the pov of the contemporary audience), all that ultimately gets swept aside in the rightness of his return to milan and the warm feeling of the world being set to rights. prospero can't undo the years he spent on the island but they are ultimately a blip in his life before he returns to the rightful state of affairs. his abuse and enslavement of caliban, easily the worst thing he does in the play, is totally set aside when caliban goes "wow now i see how truly benevolent my master is. i love him and see the ways of christian good and i'm so, so appreciative he chose not to kill or beat me even though he totally could have and would have been in the right. he's so just and intelligent." everyone loves and forgives him and they all agree both his management of the island and his ultimate return are so good and so wise and so right.
emet comparing himself to the tempest (or being compared to it, depending on how you want to read the diegetic status of the place names) is absolute wishcasting. it is an attempt to manifest the happy ending he will never, ever get because his sins cannot and would not be forgiven in the way he wants. he wants to imagine himself as the righteous returned duke whose crimes, including the enslavement, abuse, and exploitation of those he saw as his rightful inferiors, were totally worth it, i promise. and if emet is prospero, the warrior of light is his caliban.
#emet-selch#ffxiv#hades#shadowbringers spoilers#like by the time you get to the end you've already spoken to the amaurotine shades and hythlodaeus in particular#it's incredibly clear that even if emet's plans come to fruition he is *utterly alien to the world he is trying to restore*#and like prospero is restored in the end. but his wife is still dead. miranda grew up isolated and alone.#also to take a somewhat more jaundiced view#the things he did to caliban and to ariel can never be undone. that stain is with him forever.#and i mean even IF you can just yank all those souls right out of zodiark and fix the whole thing#there's still everyone who died before the first sacrifice and after the second. also THE VOID IS THE VOID.#'yeah uh we'll just fix that. when zodiark is up and running properly.'#sure dude i totally believe your expertise on the problem you caused by not knowing enough. you definitely know enough now.#anyways he can't waver for even a moment bc it means acknowledging he has betrayed everything he ever claimed to believe in due to his grie#he is in blood stepped so far etc. if i can be allowed to mix my shakespeares#emet-selch more like emet-sunk cost fallacy#meta: durai report
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more silly doodles from when I was in class!!!
I'm getting better at the pen yippee!!!
but uh
I had to redraw the crossbones one twice 💀, well worth it though
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b277b8273c1ef992d6f86bd62bc9d240/ab12c215c6747f81-31/s540x810/c961987ce28dfe5fa15e59f1579903c879b9e23a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/123940726d0c1fb00e0a5415ba3fc3b3/ab12c215c6747f81-50/s640x960/3c873f4d5d0446bb4ad608c4a422388993a04ca4.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8fb62de68edf7060af884a4c76a684a2/ab12c215c6747f81-6e/s540x810/2fcb6f4e13b4093486bcd4ee12b65b68c2567347.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/435a29a7dac1ac59e75e92d4238b3086/ab12c215c6747f81-9d/s540x810/dfa07e4c88fc8c69bc33bf80efa9b72500ea592e.jpg)
also posted the sillies in separate things
also, I was trying to make a reference to that one spongebob episode where patrick thinks of nothing but a milk carton falling over
#sans#ts underswap#ts!underswap#crossbones#ts underswap sans#art#tsus!sans#undertale#undertale au#undertaleau#ts underswap papyrus#traditional art#silly dudes!!!!#obsessed...#I can't stop drawong them kicking screaming running around#falls over
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/93c5ab55b8e0546fe2dd8f9d93e00f80/cd4260be37263fb4-5b/s540x810/6e9133466b15d2d6ee0531016da9c87b2466c56d.jpg)
it occurred to me while backing up procreate files last night that aside from Bad Bisexual Representation Booty Shorts Dio, i never posted any of the things from this canvas i had going for sketches while watching part 3 back in 2022, which is a shame, really
#jojo's bizarre adventure#stardust crusaders#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#kakyoin noriyaki#jean pierre polnareff#muhammad avdol#dio brando#hol horse#n'doul#oingo and boingo#terence t d'arby#alessi jjba#with a special shoutout to lisa lisa kars and shadow the hedgehog#context for the oingo boingo alessi one: i was like ''damn it must suck being an eight year old with severe anxiety in the same cult mansio#as Loser Dude Who Beats Up Children For Fun'' and then thought of that image#context for the terence darby one is that he levitates sometimes and that shits creepy in a hilarious way#also ''commits vehicular manslaughter nonbinarily'' is also just something i said on discord (about yoda actually)#but for some reason kakyoin would often end up being the one driving. and i think he should be allowed to run over some of dio's minions#i think everything else here speaks for itself#OH also the enya and polnareff ''can't stand his fake ass/me and the bestie'' was drawn on this canvas too but on hidden layers#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo part 3
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The next Fantasy High spin-off season simply has to be the Rat World underneath Aguefort Adventuring Academy
You can't just say there's a rat mall with rat manequins and a whole rat universe without expanding, Brennan!!!
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#junior year#dropout#my posts#if there's one thing we learned from tuc it's that rat pcs slap!!#picture it - a whole party of kugrashes!#we've had the whole stoat season now it's time for the hidden world of rats!#seriously you can't just drop that and run dude 😂#that's a whole spin off right there!!#first thought while watching the episode#finished and came straight here to post#this needs to happen#brennan's not on tumblr right? sam?? aabria?? can someone see this and make sure it happens??
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I just saw someone say "I wasn't educated on politics so I didn't vote" then why didn't you educate yourself??? We all have little computers in our fucking hands guys this is kind of something to USE THEM FOR.
#you are quite literally capable of educating yourself you can't have everyone spoon feed you everything for the rest of your fucking life#EDUCATE YOURSELF#us politics#politics#like you could have searched stuff up online asked people questions and instead you just sat and did nothing#even if you are in an unsafe environment to vote you could've contributed by helping educate other people#but no. didn't educate yourself didn't educate others just sat there didn't vote because you weren't educated and didn't get educated#now people are being affected and you're like “that's so horrible”#“both sides are bad” “i'm not educated enough” man i'm fucking done dude your inability to comprehend the importance#of the lives of millions that will be affected by this orange fuck being in office will never cease to be astounding and infuriating#don't fucking try to argue with me rn i'm angry don't feel like it i'm just gonna block#sure the democrats need to run better campaigns but i'm gonna be real with you even the WORST FUCKING CAMPAIGN EVER RAN#IN THE HISTORY OF CAMPAIGNING#WOULD BE BETTER THAN WHATEVER THE FUCK HE HAS PLANNED FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS
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Turning Wyll down is actually the most evil decision I've ever made in this game i need to RELOAD
#HE LOOKS SO SAD#AND THE WAY HIS VOICE DROPS#I CAN'T#I'M THE WORST#literally zoomed to character creator to make a new tav for a wyll romance run#i'm coming my dude#bg3#baldur's gate 3#wyll ravengard#baldurs gate 3#ray's rambles
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GAMES I PLAYED IN 2024: A LIST
Went looking through my Steam Replay thingy, and decided to type up some thoughts on my favorite games I played this year! Here they are in roughly chronological order:
Helldivers 2 rules. It nails the tone and atmosphere of its inspiration (the Paul Verhoeven masterwork Starship Troopers) so well that it renders me almost totally uninterested in the officially licensed and apparently quite good Starship Troopers games that came out recently! It's a perfectly absurdist, hilarious satire that's played so straight it almost becomes cool! Right up until you get into the game. Because yeah, when things go well, you can feel really cool and badass and like you're in an intense sci-fi war movie... but the real strength of Helldivers is its comedy, and I don't mean the writing. I mean the ragdolling, the constant, impossibly big explosions, the deaths that come fast and furious and reduce you to giblet gravy, and the respawn being a whole new, fresh Helldiver that airdrops in to replace the dead one. It either feels incredibly tense and tactical, or it feels like cartoon slapstick comedy, and there's almost no middle ground. It threads both needles simultaneously like no other game before.
Now, some folks might be mad when, say, the Democracy Space Station the entire community contributed to building does nothing but shell the shit out of whatever planet its orbiting, to the point that most missions on said planet become suicide runs that result in dozens of dead Helldivers. They might also be mad when the devs add mines with blast zones so large they kill Helldivers as much as enemies, or rocket launchers that airburst almost immediately and teamkill constantly, or a car with a manual transmission that handles like a drunk walrus when its tires get popped. But I think these things rule, because these things contribute to Helldivers greatest strengths: comedy and chaos.
I did fall off it for a few months, when it got a bit stale. There was a period where they nerfed a bunch of guns, and frankly I understand why they did, and equally understand why they rolled it back. The game has had controversies, live service problems, Sony-driven publisher nonsense and recently some microtransactions I thought were poorly priced, but on the whole? The galactic warfront has kept me in their discord just to know how things are going even when I'm not playing, and that's not something I do for basically any other game!
If you want a good time in co-op, and you like third-person shooting and some crackerjack production values, and you like to laugh (sometimes at yourself), you will love Helldivers 2!
Dragon's Dogma 2 is not a perfect game. It's not even close. It has a ton of issues with a lack of variety in its content, a story that struggles with pacing issues and maintaining interest, and some awkward AI that renders a number of skills less useful than they should be.
That being said, there is no other game like Dragon's Dogma. It is tactile and mechanically deep, with class customization built around a combat system that feels exceptionally satisfying to use. It has a genuine sense of multiplayer shenanigans and camaraderie in a single-player game, through its customizable NPCs that you summon from other players. It creates stories about being dragged away by wolves or carried away on the back of a griffon and ending up in another part of the world, encountering monsters fighting each other or attacking caravans... and there's truly nothing like emerging into a canyon, seeing a troll fighting a dragon, running down and climbing all over the beastie and stabbing it until it dies. The vibes are immaculate, and that carried me through most of the game on its own.
I still need to get through the ending (that's not an ending) and the new game plus (that's not a new game plus) but even without completing it, I have a lot of fondness for this weird, weird game. I wish parts of it were better -- like a LOT better -- and I still think it has content issues that could have been solved by another year or two in the oven... but god (and Capcom) willing, some DLC or an expansion will get us there. I'd purchase it in a heartbeat!
Halls of Torment and Death Must Die are two "bullet heaven" games I played this year! Halls of Torment is aping the aesthetic of Diablo 1 and 2, while Death Must Die (pictured above) is doing more of a pixelart, Hades-like kind of thing with its buffs and boons. They both have a heavy loot focus, and a lot of progression, but they're both satisfying in different ways. They're both in early access, but content-rich, and I'd recommend them both -- that is, if you've already played Vampire Survivors and exhausted it and wanted more. Vampire Survivors is, of course, still king of its genre.
Homeworld 3 is the most disappointed I've been by a game in years. Blackbird Interactive have done good work in the past, helped put together the excellent Homeworld Remastered Collection, made Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak which for my money still has immaculate vibes and an excellent aesthetic, and also put out Hardspace: Shipbreaker! They've made great games in the past! So how this game turned out the way it did... I can only blame Gearbox and their meddling, because holy god.
There are mechanical issues like ships not following orders correctly, the pathfinding being kind of nightmarish, and the gimmick of superstructures and cover almost never mattering outside of a handful of campaign moments. The season pass (because of course it had one) had a bizarre focus on a very odd co-op multiplayer run-based mode, for some reason, rather than skirmish multiplayer -- which also had a dearth of maps and modes at launch.
But all of that doesn't matter so much to me, because what matters to me when it comes to Homeworld is the vibes. The aesthetic. The ice-cool, clinical, sweeping sci-fi space opera. Less a focus on named characters and more a focus on grander civilizations, politics, or enemies. Even Deserts of Kharak, set on a single planet, captured these vibes. And instead we got... some of the most awkwardly animated, ham-handedly written, and cartoonish cutscenes I've seen in a game in a good while. When the villain shows up in a main character's dream sequence and vamps around like a Dreamworks villain about to break into song, that's when I put the game down. I still haven't gone back.
I preordered the goddamn collector's edition of this. I never do that! I should know better! But I made the mistake of thinking a pedigree and proven track record are enough to bet on. Frankly, I think they should be -- maybe Gearbox and their story consultants and brand managers are just poisonous. Regardless, this was a real king-size bummer for me this year. Homeworld is dead now -- I can't imagine it getting another swing after this. But believe me when I say it deserved better.
The Dead Space remake is, against all expectations, absolutely fantastic. There are some quibbles I have here and there; I think the new performances from the supporting cast are a little flat. I think Kyne in particular loses a lot of ambiguity. The story and characterization elsewhere has been made less cartoonish or obvious, but given that Dead Space is a pretty corny horror yarn, it loses some charm as a result. But other characters like Isaac and especially Nicole benefit tremendously from a rewrite, giving them agency and likability they did not have before, and the wrinkles they add in their relationship are fantastic.
And mechanically? Wow. The game has never played better, moved better, been structured better. Some areas feel different, more a sidegrade than an upgrade, but others, especially in the new dark sections? Awesomely spooky. I happily started a new game plus of this and I fully intend to go back to it every October like I do Dead Space 2. It's SO good. That we were denied a new sequel is proof positive that EA sucks eggs.
Space Marine 2 is a 7/10 action game from the Xbox 360 era, shined up and given some quality multiplayer features. I mean that as the highest compliment; we don't get many of those these days! It is one of the best representations of Warhammer as an aesthetic and a vibe, and mechanically it is incredibly satisfying. I don't think a parry and riposte has felt this good since Sifu or Sekiro, at least in terms of sound design and impact. And the multiplayer! Simple, effective, an satisfying, with fun separate progressions for co-op and PvP. Every part of this package is far better than it has any right to be, at every level. You don't need to be a Warhammer nerd to like this game, in fact it's a pretty neat introduction, but for super nerds or just sometimes fans like me? Certain setpieces are absolute cinema. Can't wait for that horde mode to hit next year!
If Homeworld 3 is the most I've been disappointed by a game, the Silent Hill 2 remake might be the most I've been surprised by one. I had zero expectations for this thing, given the developer's previous output, and Silent Hill 2 itself is one of those games that is genuinely Important Art. Not just on its own merits, but in how it influenced creatives in basically every other form of art there is. There's an argument to be made that Silent Hill 2 has quietly influenced more horror media than damn near anything else since 2002. And it earned that.
So when this remake turned out to be... like, actually great? And not just great, but restrained? Thoughtful, even? That's amazing. The core story remains the same, whole cutscenes lifted almost word for word, but the changes they do make are not made solely to be different or justify its existence; they're done purposefully, because time has passed, because the game now flows from its scenes and environments more fluidly. Because they wanted to add (or emphasize) certain aspects of characterization. And the scenes they do add are so in keeping with the rest that it's hard to tell where the new stuff begins and ends. Heck, even the new endings they added are kind of amazing!
This is the remake that Silent Hill 2 deserved. The original is still exceptional, and should be preserved, but if this is the only way someone can experience this story? That's okay. This has single-handedly made me interested in whatever Bloober Team makes next, and I hope that whatever it is, they can channel the talent that made this, rather than their previous output.
I have not yet completed Dragon Age: The Veilguard, but I can tell you now that it is good. Maybe not great! But good. Solid. It has mechanically dense and interesting combat, an exceptionally cool skill tree and class customization system, accessibility options out the wazoo, and some really great production values. It has fun characters (some more than others) and a really fun protagonist. Some of the writing can be... heavy-handed, I'll say. And some of it is obvious, or hammy, or kind of pat. It feels very different than past Dragon Age games, for better AND for worse. I'm gonna have a bunch of thoughts on it when I'm done, I can tell!
But as a showing for BioWare, to prove that they're still capable of putting out RPGs that matter? That their formula, as old as it is, still works? That they still belong in the conversation after Larian's Baldur's Gate 3? I think this is a tremendous success.
Maybe the ending will fumble the bag really badly. That's been known to happen in BioWare games! But even then, I'd still have had a lot of fun playing this thing.
And if nothing else? Man, the next Mass Effect is gonna be AWESOME. (If they're allowed to make it...)
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I Am Your Beast is the latest game from Strange Scaffold, the folks what made El Paso, Elsewhere, Clickolding, Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator, and An Airport For Aliens Currently Run By Dogs. If nothing else, their title game is on point. My only experience with them was El Paso, a game written and performed by one of the main leads, Xalavier Nelson Jr. And let me tell you, that game put them on my radar.
And while El Paso, Elsewhere was a Max Payne pastiche, a game about relationships and a breakup and addiction and emotional catharsis filtered through slow-mo dives through windows shooting shotguns at werewolves, I Am Your Beast is a smaller, leaner production. It is about a guy who killed for the government, who doesn't wanna kill for the government anymore, and when they send men to make him do that, he kills them all. That's it, basically -- and yet the narrative, told entirely through voice acting and typography without a single animated cutscene or face in the entire game, is one of the most quietly confident and cathartic I've seen in a while. It's a revenge thriller, of the John Wick sort, but the simple humanity and humor that Xalavier and his fellow voice actors imbue into the characters in such a series of short scenes is really incredible. It's the sort of game I've kind of always wanted; a stylish riff on a popular subgenre of film that makes you feel like you're in it. Because for as much as video games ape movies, there's surprisingly few games that really do what this game does, or feel like how this game feels!
And mechanically? The game is a just a bit stiff, such that you can tell it didn't have as much money or time as maybe it could have used. But even with that, it is still fast and smooth and extremely satisfying. The game loads as fast as it moves, so when you fuck up, you can reset in less than a second and start right over, Super Meat Boy style. This is necessary, as it is a fast, score-based shooter that can demand a lot of you if you want to complete all the optional objectives, let alone S-rank everything. But really, the action IS the juice, the raw lizardbrain satisfaction of nailing headshot after headshot, running a route through a map that you've planned after numerous attempts and getting it just right, just perfect, with a little room for improvisation along the way. And your reward? Another great little bit of voice acting, some characterization, and another killer tune to vibe to as you shoot your way through another army of goons.
I Am Your Beast is very close to being the best possible version of itself, but even falling just short of that, it's still one of the absolute best games I've played this year, or any year. It's short, it's sweet, it's cathartic as hell, and it has one of the best final levels of any game I've played. I'm a sucker for when a song drops into gameplay, especially with lyrics, and boy they save that for a final level that's more a celebration than a challenge. This game kicks ass, and if you get anything from this list? I'd say get this one, for real.
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Karate Survivor is another in the burgeoning subgenre of "bullet heaven," aka Vampire Survivors-clones. But this one is different, because it requires actual gameplay!
I jest, but this game does feel more active and more involving in terms of positioning than most games in this genre. Instead of building a suite of weapons that autofire, you're building a combo string that auto fires, and each attack goes in a specific direction with a specific arc of damage, and they're each part of different styles and different sequences that boost damage and add bonus effects when linked together and... you can see how there's some juice here!
But more importantly, Karate Survivor does something I did not expect: it made me feel like Jackie Chan. There are games that let you do a fight scene -- Sifu is one of my all-time favorite games, and that has some environmental stuff you can do, ottomans you can kick and bottles you can throw and tables to dive over, but it's all just a bit self-serious, a bit too cool. And that's good! I like those vibes! But a Jackie Chan movie, a good one? That has something different. There's an element of danger, of threat, of physicality and pain for sure, but there's also a distinct element throughout the choreography of slapstick comedy, of using the environment in creative ways.
And that's what this game does -- you have environmental interactions. You direct your karate man over to some bottles, and he'll automatically chuck them at the nearest enemy. He'll kick chairs and buckets, he'll pick up brooms and shovels and ladders, he'll kick out a support and send a shack tumbling down on his attackers. You can run up walls, you can throw open doors to smack dudes in the face (a move lifted directly from Rumble in the Bronx) and you can pole vault into locked rooms or across rooftops. The act of moving, of positioning yourself to funnel attackers and utilize the environment and grab whatever is laying around? That's Jackie Chan, baby. And no other game has really captured that feeling like this one has!
Karate Survivor fully justifies itself not as a clone of Vampire Survivors, but as its own game. It is unique, it has some excellent pixel art, it kicks ass, and best of all, it is very cheap. Absolutely check it out if you can!
Balatro is my game of the year. It kind of has to be. Yeah, I'm sure Astro Bot is incredible, I'll play it someday and love it death I'm sure. I hear that Indiana Jones game is shockingly excellent too! And Shadow of the Erdtree? I mean come on!
But you don't understand. You don't get it. I didn't either -- I thought I was over deckbuilding roguelikes, and the poker aesthetic? Who could care! I mean I like poker and all, but as a video game? Meh.
Then I watched someone play it for just a few minutes, and I knew I had to try it. Then I got it on mobile, and it was all over.
Balatro is a dopamine factory. Not in the same way that Vampire Survivors is, where it's all in the presentation and after a certain point the game sort of falls away and it's just flashing lights making brain chemicals happen. Balatro is a thinker. You gotta plan, you gotta react. You gotta play the right hands, get your cards in the proper order to maximize score. You gotta build your run on the fly, depending on the jokers you find. There is not a moment in Balatro that you are not making some meaningful decision, no matter how small or short. It has one of the best UI designs in games, with some really smart flourishes that make my pleasure centers light up like a Christmas tree. It is a game that you can break such that your high score is in scientific notation, but luck is also a factor, and you'll rarely see this unless you dig into seed science. It has a bunch of different decks that all radically change how you play, and a bunch of challenge modes that demand you play a certain way, and you're always unlocking one of the 150 jokers in the game that each completely change how you build your strategy.
Balatro is available on PC and mobile. Get it on both. You pay like fifteen bucks, and you get everything. No DLC, no microtransactions, no actual gambling, ever. The whole game. I've put at least fifty hours into this thing, probably more, and I'll put more into it in 2025. If I get the PC version, I might investigate the mod scene! People are adding new jokers that break the game even more! One-man developer LocalThunk is a baller, and I can't wait to see what he makes next, but if all he ever does is this? He's earned a spot in the history of this medium.
Balatro is the closest to a perfect game I've seen since Vampire Survivors. That two games this monumental by solo devs have come out so close together is proof enough to me that, for all its many MANY problems, we are in a golden age of video games. I sincerely hope it inspires tons of folks to make their own! So I can lose hundreds of hours to those, too.
#video games#year in review#dang this is long#sorry#but also not sorry#because games are cool#except when they're bad#(please let them make a new mass effect please god)#also throw one up for xalavier nelson jr.! dude's having a great run#can't wait for strange scaffold's next project
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