#can't read. can't draw. can't do chores. can't get into new shows. can't get into new hobbies.

[thassa]

i feel like my executive function has been absolutely awful the last few months, and i can't seem to get it to work. i even deleted most of my social media from my phone, and i find i just end up staring blankly instead of finding the energy to do the things i wanna do 🫠

[hiraya-rawr]

lover from another nation ~ hcs .

characters !! all the genshin men i could think of rn...

note !! it's been a while since i've written hcs for a lot! aaaah just some thoughts i had today (i had a few culture shocks here and there when i met up with new friends hahahah)

~ m o n d s t a d t ~

grabbing zhongli by the hand to dance and sing in the middle of the square because mondstadters live for the festivities! he quickly learns to freestyle dance along with you, moving with the crowd and cheers and wine. (remember that Tangled scene? yes)

kaveh wasn't sure how to react the day you ordered hard liquor on your first date. sure, your freedom and love for a good drink is one of the things which made him fall for you but wow– are you really gonna down that many glasses on a date? what do you mean you're still sober?

ayato finds himself in love with the way you sing. it doesn't follow the rules of inazuman opera at all; it's much more freeing (much like how his house help sings as he does chores) and you'd tell him stories and the history of your homeland in the form of songs. no mondstadter could ever forget the songs they grew up listening to!

heizou being almost appalled by your rather... robust and reckless nature. you don't have any backup plans whenever a situation goes south, you simply hold his hand, smile, and say "we go where the wind blows!"

~ l i y u e ~

diluc having chopsticks as part of your dining utensils because sometimes, you're more comfortable eating with it (let's not forget often having rice on the table! he must learn the joys of garlic rice with his steak <3)

dainsleif stays by your side as you offer incense and fruits to your ancestors. he whispers quiet prayers, bows when you do, and helps you clean their altars. he finds solace in the familial piety of liyuens– it makes him wish he could honor his ancestors with the same kind of peace as you do.

kazuha getting tongue tied over the language being so similar to inazuman but also so different– why are some of the characters the same? why are the meanings different? there's a bit of miscommunication in the start, but you both find your own ways to understand each other when words fail.

we all know gorou has always wanted to climb the mountains of liyue and you made it possible! meeting him by the docks and touring him around your home nation, you made sure to pick hiking routes with the most scenic spots, even managing to tour him around the jade palace and the floating lone island.

~ i n a z u m a ~

kaeya has no idea how you sit on the floor while being comfortable. you've made him sit with you once while reading a book, after that, his bones ached for days! shaking every time he stood back up!

albedo met you in the irodori festival- he painted you for practice and spark between you started. the long distance was difficult at first, but his long letters always had a little drawing of you and you'd send back the scent of cherry blossoms. klee would also send you letters, asking you to come visit soon!

childe loves a new fighting style; like most sword users in inazuma, you followed the raiden shogun's teachings– swift, efficient, and at one with the sword. he loves how you fight and it's often how you end your dates!

cyno was almost confident that you were playing a prank the day you said you'll make him your specialty and you showed him a platter of raw seafood. it's "sashimi and ngiri" you say, and he waited for you to explain the pun of your joke. it wasn't a joke.

~ s u m e r u ~

thoma is quite used to mondstadters and inazumans, two very different cultures, then he meets you and your sumeru upbringing! you show him how to cook foods that can be eaten with hands, and your menu is often so colorful he can't help but admire it!

itto doesn't really understand the study culture of sumeru, but he totally supports whatever it is you're talking about and tries to add in comments (his comments don't exactly make sense though...)

scaramouche, in his "path of redemption and healing", unwillingly gets involved with you as you show him around the beautiful parts of sumeru! you argue that he needs a different, better outfit with a color scheme that matches his vision. he insists that the hat stays. you tell him he looks like an aranara.

~ s n e z h n a y a ~

al haitham was almost concerned the day you got a heatstroke after being in the desert for no more than a few minutes. snezhnaya has prepared you for harsh weather, but never the heat. soon enough your lover is carrying around heatstroke-first aid packs just for you.

bundling up tighnari's fluffy ears before setting foot in snezhnaya because you just know the cold would practically freeze them off. his tail also gets wrapped and bundled warm in the large coats you wear, protection from the harsh snow. he says he looks like a big lummox.

note !! alright, choose your favorite dynamic! i personally think mondstadters with liyue/inazuma would be interesting maybe because i want to force feed them the joys of rice...

// if i misinterpreted a culture then umm... just know it wasn't intentional and let's consider it a real thing in teyvats culture 🫣😎

commissions || general m.list

taglist !! @absolut-wildflower @boundedbyfate @sadlonelybagel @eissaaaa @ladycoleigh @nejibot @milkypompon @bloodreaper08 @irethepotato @x-zho @roriver @mich-cola @mxsomn @ackrylik @nicebonescomrade @starforecasts @stygianoir @yuminako @eccedentesiast-sapphic @nebulaera @nuttytani @klutzkat @stygianoir14 @shizunxie @bluriie @aestellia @abyislan08

[empressofmankind]

POKER FACE (Part I)

[Crocodile x Shivs (F!OC)]

Mature - Murder but no sexy times (yet) - 1.5 k / 5 pg

(A/N) - I felt like writing about what Shivs gets up to when she isn't dealing at the poker table. After all, that is what she does for fun. Not what she does to keep the wheels of Crocodile's machinations going round and round.

This story is set around the same time period as ‘The House Always Win’ and 'On The First Day of Christmas', in Alabaste at Rainbase, mostly in and around their casino, Rain Dinners.

Tag(s): Mafia shenanigans. Graphic violence. Murder. Do I tag these reversed gender roles? It feels stupid. Buy men flowers, gdammit. Mildly diabetes inducing romance.

🐊 🐊 🐊 

Night never truly came to the City of Dreams, for Rainbase was ever lit by the fickle fluorescence of its nightclubs and casinos. Even now, as the evening advanced, the major thoroughfares and the grand boulevard were bright as if mid-day and bustling with diners and gamblers and bingers alike.

Not that it didn’t have quiet spots, darker corners, should you have need of them. The oasis walkways, for example, whose plank paths snaked through the prettier side of Rainbase lake. Early in the day, tourists jostled along the sight-seeing points, hoping to spot the Bananawani basking in the morning sun on Rain Dinners’ rear deck. In the afternoon, locals came here for their lunch breaks, to jog or read a book. Later in the day, lovers would come to watch the sun sink behind the lake.

After sunset, quiet soon settled around the walkways for with the evening came the desert night’s chill, felt here on the edge of Rainbase first and most. Darkness followed in its wake, for no permanent lighting was allowed: it’d disturb the great reptiles.

The waters were still, reflecting the moon high in the sky. The walkways were quiet, if not deserted. In the lee of the tourist boat house, someone moved. The red cherry of a hand-rolled cigarillo illuminated the underside of a fedora, high cheekbones, and glinted in one impatient eye. A brown leather eyepatch engraved with winged boarding saber covered the other.

The runner was late.

Minutes crept by as they waited, watched the Bananawani settle in for the night on the rear deck. Two of the juveniles were still swimming in the oasis, ignoring the matriarch’s curt calls.

“Don't make mommy come and fetch you,” Shivs muttered around her smoke, dry amusement clinging to her words.

“You say that to all your runners?”

That was not the voice she had expected. “What brings you here on this fine evening, Alessio Brando?”

“Can't a bloke drop by for company?”

She noticed the bag he carried, one she knew didn't belong to him. It was their runner's satchel.

“Meddling in our business, are you?” she said, blowing out smoke.

There was tension in his shoulders. “I know what you and the Crocodile are up to.”

“People have gone the way of the Pharaohs for less.”

“I am thinking this item is worth more than you let on to your runner," Alessio said and gave the satchel a little shake. "Sloppy man, I might add. Left himself wide open.”

“You plan to keep it?”

“I could be persuaded to let you have it.”

Shivs pursed her lips, paused before replying with a note of due reluctance. “I can double.”

“Can you?”

“I'll add it to my Sphinxx tab.” A smirk tugged at her lips, fire briefly reflecting off of teeth. “He won't squint too hard over a little unexpected bump in expenses there.”

“Triple it.”

Shivs crooked an eyebrow, surprised by the amount of balls he was showing. “You know it will be a chore to sell that to anyone else.” She took a lengthy draw from her cigarello before catching his gaze. “Particularly when potential buyers learn this specific piece has gone missing from his private collection.”

She could tell from the way he shifted she had him. “How? No. That is impossible. This is a new acquisition.”

“Back up plans within back up plans, handsome” she said as she tapped the ash from her smoke. “So, double it is, then?”

“Fine. Deal.”

“You are smarter than you look, Alessio.”

He eyed her. “You have the money with you?”

“I do,” Shivs said as she beckoned him closer and reached deliberately slow inside her jacket.

He leaned towards her, though paused when she suddenly cast an alarmed look across his shoulder. Was there someone coming? As his gaze flicked away, he saw her draw something from her jacket that glinted in the moonlight. Reacting on instinct alone he twisted out of her hold, narrowly avoiding the switchblade.

Cussing, he reached behind his back and drew a pistol from the back of his pants.

“Bringing a gun to a knife fight?” she said, regarding the barrel with little concern. “Rude.”

"And I'll use it, too," he threatened.

"Let's do this again." She twirled the knife between her fingers. “Come over here, so I can stab you and relief you of what is already ours.”

“Like hell I will,” he said as he deliberately cocked the gun. “Hand over the money, you scaly cunt.”

“No can do.”

He stared at her, uncomprehending.

“I don't have any with me,” she said with a little shrug. “Now come here and let me stab you, my husband hates loose ends.”

“Don't come any fucking closer, or I'll shoot.”

“Defying me by a body of water? You’re not that smart after all.”

“It has seastone bullets.”

Her eye squinted with amusement as the tides rose within the confines of her ribcage. “You’ll have to fire it first.”

At the wet click of the gun, she actually laughed.

Alessio backed away, eyes widening as his breath came up short. And shorter. And shorter. The gun clanged to the floor as he clawed at his throat, chest. Heaving water onto the planks as he collapsed onto his knees.

"You shouldn't have meddled." Shivs sauntered over and crouched beside him as his face marbled blue. “He really hates loose ends.”

She sat down on the planks and lit another cigarillo as she waited for the convulsions to stop, the twitching limbs to still. It was a convenient way, sure. Next to impossible to differentiate from genuine drowning.

But it was slow.

“Slower than yours, anyway,” she muttered as she gazed up at the gilded backside of Rain Dinners.

When he'd been still for some minutes, she patted his shoulder and rose. With an annoyed sigh, she rolled up her sleeves and grabbed the larger man by the jacket, hauling him towards the water. Sweat beaded on her forehead. Once there, she dropped him, straightened and rolled him into the lake with a shove of her boot.

A splash, and then he sank. Slow, but convenient. No air, no floating.

On the other side of the oasis, the rebellious juveniles slid from under the snoozing matriarch’s attention and into the water.

“I could eat too,” Shivs muttered. Turning away, she picked up the leather satchel and jogged up the steps to the boulevard, disappearing into the evening crowd.

Stopping my a flower-stand, Shivs bought a bouquet with blue lotus.

“A good choice, ma'am,” the florist said as Shivs lifted it from its stand. “She will surely like it.”

“I know he will,” Shivs said, watching the florist scamper to recover as she signed the receipt.

“The blue lotus is a traditionally masculine scent, combined in this bouquet with the-.”

Shivs stopped listening, uninterested in their lukewarm attempt to be inoffensive. She had chosen them because of Nefertem, the flower of creation from whose yellow centre the sun rose every morning and set to every evening. The one whose epithet was ‘He Who Is Most Beautiful’.

Hoisting the satchel over her shoulder, and cradling the fragile flowers in her arm, she made her way back to Rain Dinners.

🐊 🐊 🐊 

As she came down the stairs into the high rollers VIP lounge, Shivs saw Crocodile was already there. And not at her table. His attention shifted from his cards as she approached, putting them face down on the table to free his hand and draw her to his side.

The waistcoat was new; shades of olive stripes with a few subtle lines of gold stitching. He'd combined it with a dusty mauve dress shirt that brought out the warm undertones of his tan skin.

Shivs pursed her lips, shifting the flowers onto her other arm. “Playing at someone else's table, huh?”

A light squeeze at her waist as his gaze flicked up. “You weren't here, honey.”

She leaned down to press a peck against his lips. “Should I do the same when you aren't here?” She wondered just below her breath and savoured the shift in his gaze. “I said I would deal tonight, didn't I?”

“It's eleven thirty.”

“Still tonight,” she quipped. She saw it before it slipped away, a hint of amusement making his bottom lip tug at his cigar.

“Join me,” he said, pulling her closer.

“Let me change into something nice, then,” she said as she leaned towards him for another kiss.

“I don't hate this,” he rumbled against her lips in Alabastan as he tipped her fedora straight. 

“I know,” she said as she switched as well.

It had annoyed her he hadn't waited, he could tell. His fingertips lingered along her jaw. “Are those for me?”

“Who else, habibi?” Shivs said as she gave the flowers to him. The way he removed his cigar and took a moment to smell them made her smile.

A server came over with a vase.

"Did you acquire the artefact?" Crocodile asked as the server arranged the flowers.

"I have."

Her tone gave him pause. "Difficulties?"

Shivs pursed her lips, irritation flitting across her face. "Alessio sleeps with the Bananawani."

"Good," he said, and watched his reply mollify her pinched expression. “Don’t be long,” he added as he caught her hand, stopping her from leaving just yet.

Shivs let him reel her in for another kiss. “I won't,” she muttered against his lips, squeezed his hand as she rose and let go.

He took his time to watch her leave before returning his attention to his cards. They'd come full circle around the table, but knew better than to complain.

🐊 🐊 🐊 

[genericpuff]

Cait comp'd her book to The Locked Tomb. THE LOCKED TOMB COMBINED WITH LORE OLYMPUS. NO. NO NO NO. IN WHAT WORLD ARE THESE TWO IN THE SAME SENTENCE. I NEED TO SCREAM.

Apologies in advance, but these are two polar opposite series and it's a joke Cait thinks she can combine the two without Gideon Nav manifesting in her apartment and throwing hands. Oh my god.

I won't try to do spoilers here because I think you would personally vibe with the series, it's right up your alley and I highly recommend the audiobooks, especially while drawing. It's currently three books and the last one (the fourth book) should be out in Fall 2024. The Locked Tomb is starkly gothic and dark (gruesome death, resurrection, body horror, weird twins, turbo cancer (an actual quote from the books), and so much more), full to the brim with horror, sci-fi, and modern-day political commentary, and is apologetically queer as fuck. I'm talking lesbian enemies to friends to lovers, I'm talking Maori-coded rugby player who loves to talk about her porn magazines while trying to keep her homeless chihuahua of a girlfriend from getting herself killed (said chihuahua controls skeletons), I'm talking using clever ways to sneak in memes, I'm talking loving the side characters as much as you love the leads and the author loves them all too, I'm talking Catholic guilt but make it sexy and gay, I'm talking a literal ghost shows up with a fucking gun. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's a series you need to re-read multiple times to try and figure out every little detail and people to this day are still finding out foreshadowing from the first book alone. There is no random lines or dropped ideas, every little detail is planned out and connects. It's great.

To compare a series made by an insanely smart and openly queer woman (who is also from New Zealand, shout out to Tamsyn Muir) to a series that obsesses over a straight couple down to making it a Blue Boy and Pink Girl, a series that acts like putting in queer characters are a chore, a series that treats sexual assault like a minor inconvenience at worst, a series that can't even plan a week ahead much less years, a series that is written by an immature woman-child like Rachel, is so offensive to me.

Well damnnn I'll take this as a glowing recommendation! It def sounds like something I'd enjoy. I've been wanting to get more into audiobooks so maybe I'll make The Locked Tomb my first stop ;3 If/when I do get around to it, I'll definitely let y'all know my thoughts! <3

[arcadekitten]

How do you stay as motivated as you usually are? I... I'll be honest and I'm sorry for sounding so personal, but I've been going through some rough times, I can't even pick up a pencil to draw, and I've been feeling so unenergetic... Which sucks, I want to become as great as you, as I really do!!

I'm crazy /hj

I'm just very passionate about my characters and work!! It's no exaggeration when I say I am thinking about them every second of every day. I mean it with my whole chest, I am always thinking about them. They make me happy and so I'm always happy when I get to do stuff with them!!

HOWEVER!! That doesn't mean I'm immune to burnout either! I don't know you or what you're going through--maybe it's burnout, maybe it's a depressive episode, maybe it's something else entirely! etc--but when I'm feeling in a rut (which I actually have been this week, I'd say!), there's some things I like to try and do to make myself feel better. I don't know if they'll work for you, but it's worth a shot!

-Take dedicated breaks. Not just like, a 15 minute break. Like a whole day or 2 or even longer break. Of course if you have responsibilities like school and/or work you might not be able to take a break from those, but take a break from your creative endeavors for a bit. Play a videogame, watch a tv show or movie or video you want to/like, go outside if you're able to even if just to sit in the sun or listen to music! (Though it's winter in the nothern hemisphere, so maybe just dance around to music in your kitchen or something haha!) I often find that once I've been able to actually let myself have fun in other ways, I then want to come back to doing all my creative stuff and I feel more energetic about it!

-Be creative in other ways! Try to branch outside your normal mediums. If you draw a lot digitally, make something traditionally! If you usually illustrate, try playing with something like clay or strings or building blocks! Cut apart magazines and try to make collages! Of course, this isn't always accessible to everyone, especially if you need to spend money to buy some of this stuff. But even if it's as simple as filling a notebook page with doodles, it's still worth doing! The MOST important part of this though is to do it for yourself--do not worry about how the end result will come out, do not worry about sharing it to other people. You can later on if you want to, but you need to go into it knowing that your goal is to HAVE FUN! not to make a successful or consumable product.

-Draw what you want to draw. It's not secret that my most popular games are games like INMIMB and Crowscare. I could probably be attracting a lot more attention on that stuff if I drew those characters more. But Mary and Reggie are my favorite subjects to draw, so that's what I draw! And when I do that, it makes art feel like not-a-chore, but something to be enjoyed! When making my games, I have to make a lot of art for them too! Sometimes I can choose between getting a new cutscene image done, or drawing an idea I just really want to draw. And sometimes choosing the latter is rewarding because I had fun drawing it and then I can come back to the cutscene image satisfied! Draw the things you like and it will help remind you why art is so fun! Hope this isn't too long of a read! Keep your head up, champ! Just because you're not where you wanna be now doesn't mean you'll never get there! I believe in you, but most importantly believe in yourself!

[bite-sized-devil]

Alright, babydoll, sign me up for the match up!

Star Sign: Taurus Sun, Gemini Moon, Pisces Rising

Age: 25

Height: 5'4" / 163.2cm

Identity: Bisexual with a preference to masculine features

Occupation: Student/Student Doctor

Favorite things: My makeup, food, my bed, learning new things, singing/music, shopping, chocolate

Hobbies/What I do in my spare time: writing and drawing for my horny little sinners. Learning a new language. Studying. Shopping.

Fav Obey Me Character: Girl, you already know, but Diavolo, clearly

What I look for in a partner: attentive. Trustworthy/honest [lying to me is a good way to die]. Kind to others as well as me. Good sexual chemistry. Enjoys good food and taking me out to get food or have food made because I get hangry. Conversationalist because I like talking but also someone who can talk when I dont feel like it. But also a good listener. Curious/looking to learn new things. Stability is a requirement, financially, and in other ways. I can't do flaky people.

About Me (visually): You already have my socials lmao but I can describe maybe what isn't as clear in photos. I'm actually short [see my height] and very curvy/stalky. I have an hourglass shape, but I hide it because I have a lot of sand in mine [read: I'm fat/plus size]. I love my makeup and being put together, with full outfits, coordinating hair, makeup, and shoes, the whole shebang. But otherwise, you can just look at what I've posted. (Please don't include any photos of me in the reply)

Thank you again, and congratulations! You deserve it!

-The Royal SK

🌻 500 Followers Bite Sized Event 🌻

SK, My Queen, my pink cult sister, my demon fucker darling. I'm so glad we're friends! I'm more than happy to be the third wheel in yours and delphi friendship 💕 I feel like I bring a certain uncertainty to your pairing and I quite like that! 😂😚☺️

NSFW in parts so minors begone! 18+ MDNI

Match up:

Diavolo Prince of the Devildom

There really was no other choice for you, I will admit I thought about Barb, but I just kept coming back to his highness. He knows just how to treat you, he's like putty in your hands, he'll give you everything you want and more... If he knows whats good for him! Baby boy would take such good care of you, he'll take you out to eat and listen to you for hours. He's goddamn obsessed. Can you blame a guy though?

Head canons for you both:

SFW:

I know you're a swiftie so imma put this out there. That song enchanted to meet you... That's literally the both of you. Except there is no wondeing who you both love. It's clearly each other.

Ok but when you first got together there was a lot of sneaking around! Escaping the castle together (as if barb doesn't know 😂 he thinks it's cute so he lets it slide for now), slipping out of HOL unnoticed is a fucking chore but you do it! Playing hooky at rad. Pulling the "Diavolo would like to see the exchange student in his office" Once you guys left the intercom on and the entire school heard you both giggling and kissing and.... Other things!

He loves to show you off, he thinks you're the most beautiful woman that has ever existed or that will ever exist. So as long as he can keep you, he'll have you by his side.

Sleep overs at the castle? Check! Sleep overs at HOL? Keep it to a minimum. The boys are jealous enough! What with you giving your heart to the prince, now he wants to encroach on family time? Nu-huh! No way! Get fucked! Fuck off! (Sorry had to put my aussie rock band reference in there.)

Does his angel face want a gift? Yeah! Great he's gonna spoil you rotten and then some. You will be completely taken care of! You don't even need to ask, he just wants to give you everything you need!

He loves to kiss you. Soft forehead kisses, cute cheek kisses, teasing neck kisses, lingering kisses on your sweet lips. He can't get enough of them. The way your body softens in his hold.

He's all about pet names for you! He called you princess, baby, chicken, honey, my love, my life, sweetheart, pretty thing, good girl.

NSFW:

Baby girl I hope you like big cock because ya boy's packing! Are you going to take it like a good girl? "S'too biig! Pleeeeaase!" "Sorry princess... Think you can take just the tip, yeah? Fuuuck you feel so good... s'tiiiight. Little more, yeah? Being so good for me. You can take it, I know you can." Yeah you're gonna take a lot more than just the tip. Don't worry, he's the king of prep. He'll make you cum on his tongue before he stretches you out on his fingers first. He only needs to force it a little bit by the time he's done.

You ever been fucked on a throne? Would you like to? That's what you whisper to him before you push him down on the thing. Well, when he lets you push him down onto the thing, good luck trying if he doesn't want to. Daddy Dia is B I G. He actually hadn't believe it or not, but I think he's going to want to make it a regular thing. He likes the way you ride him slow, he likes it even more when you're tired and he can take control. Holding you by your hips, dragging your pussy up and down his cock. Using you how he wants too.

You know how I said he likes kissing your on your lips? Yeah I meant your downstairs lips 😂 jk. But kinda serious. There is something about your taste he can't get enough of. He'll eat you out anytime anywhere so be warned. It's breakfast time, he's hungry but not for the breakfast that Barbatos has prepared. Oops you're no longer in your chair, suddenly you're lying on your back on the table with your skirt lifted and your panties being ripped off. Protesting until his mouth latches around your clit and suddenly you can't remember why you're saying no???

If you'll allow it he'll mark you anyway he can. Especially in cheeky places that are slightly visible. Places you would really have to look to notice. Like just below your ear. The back of your shoulder. Your bicep, your hips, your tummy. He also likes cumming on your face. You just look so pretty covered in his cum, eyes all wide. Mouth open, tongue out hoping to get a taste of him.

I hope you like my little head canons for you and dia, princess! Thank you so much for requesting ☺️ I love you, you're pretty perfect, did you know? 💕💕🌻

[sea-side-scribbles]

My Friend Norbert

link to ao3

Chapter 7

This week went better for Arthur, because he was looking forward to their next meeting. The fact that the last one had gone well filled him with unfamiliar confidence. He was simply happy and that made him enduring. He sat in class, writing on autopilot and daydreaming about Norbert. At home, he did his chores and his homework without his body protesting. The only tiny problem was that he couldn't quite focus on his upcoming exams. He tried to learn but his mind kept wandering off into the ruined district, chasing the tall boy with the freckled face.

He had never known that freckles could be so fascinating. Despite them, he missed everything else about this boy, too. While pretending to learn, he always came back to eyeing his map and imagining the buildings he would explore with Norbert. Then he began to draw another map that showed all the ruins that he found interesting enough to visit. He marked the route with arrows and made notes for every building, what they would see there and how long they would probably be there before they moved on.

Arthur felt like a tourist guide for the ruined district but he knew it was worth it for Norbert. What he missed for his tour was a place to get ice cream. They couldn't only eat the stuff they found in the houses since there wasn't much left. He noted a café he liked on the map, in case they had time to go there. They would have to leave the ruins for this, but it's delicious ice cream would be worth it. Arthur's mouth already watered at the thought. His dad would never go there with him again, that's why he had to do this on his own. He couldn't count the many times he had spent the coins he found in the ruins to get some strawberry ice cream bowl with whipped cream. Norbert would like it, too.

He busied himself like this and apparently stopped acting weird. At least his father didn't complain anymore and everything went back to the usual taciturnity. Arthur was glad he could keep his thoughts to himself.

On Friday however, his patience left him. The entire day, he felt as if he was about to explode. Even though he was excited, he couldn't focus and his geography teacher scolded him for not listening and let him do tasks in front of the class for the entire lesson. Arthur did good enough, though. After all, he liked maps and had a good memory for places, so it wasn't really a punishment. Just a short distraction. After this incident, he was just as unfocused as before. When the school bell finally rang for the last time that day, he hurried home and sat around in his room, trying to do his homework. He did enough to not make his father suspicious, but most of the time he just stared out of the window and wished to be out there with Norbert.

It was pure torture to eat dinner with his dad and not being able to act naturally. He had to pretend to be calm, indifferent and hungry. Just like his dad, mostly. He wanted to kick his legs, squirm and writhe and talk endlessly about his plans, his new map. Instead, he had to do it in his head while his father ate quietly and only asked a few questions about school. Arthur told him that he had been quite good at geography today, that he had found almost all the towns but his father only nagged at the ones he didn't find and told him to work harder. “If you're an engineer”, he said, “you can't build only half the bridge.” Arthur felt a pang in the chest at this. That one time he had opened up to his dad and what did it do? It gave his dad an excuse to nag at him even more. He considered lying to him next time, but what would undeserved praise do? Would only make him feel more stupid.

After dinner, he went through all his notes on the map as if they were part of an exam. Indeed, Arthur wanted to know them by heart. He didn't want to show his personal notes to Norbert. Also, wouldn't it be cooler if he looked like he did all this spontaneously? Reading from a paper was for grandpas.

He must've fallen asleep while repeating his notes because he woke up in the morning with the map on his pillow. He read it again until he heard his father walk around in the house. It was still hard to hide his feelings, but he felt much better than at dinner. He couldn't help smiling and he could barely eat, but he managed not to draw his dad's attention. Just when they finished, Arthur remembered in shock that his dad could still fuck this day up. He washed the dishes with shivering hands and waited if his dad would say something about leaving the house.

“Arthur, is something wrong?”, Mr. Hastings asked instead and Arthur hated himself for being so obvious. “No, no, I'm okay. Er...why do you ask?”, he croaked out of his dry throat. “Well, first, you grin like a Cheshire cat the entire meal and now you look like a rabbit caught in the headlights. What's going on?” “Nothing. I'm just careful...with the plates”, he held up the one he was drying. “Yes, you better not let another one fall.” His dad seemed to be content with that explanation and Arthur turned away from him for the rest of the time.

When he was finished, his dad hadn't said another word. Arthur sensed his chance. Carefully, as if the boards could catch fire, he sneaked through the corridor, towards the door. The house remained silent. With still shivering fingers, Arthur brought down the handle. It made a silent squeaking noise that rang in Arthur's ears, but still, there was no reaction from anyone. Like in slow-motion, he moved out of the house. His heart pounded in his throat and he listened for the horrible call back. But nothing came.

After closing the door, another promising summer day greeted him. The front garden was as cheerful as ever, if only a little overgrown because mum wasn't there to care for it. When he woke up from his stupor and realized his luck, he began to run. Away from danger and into a new, wonderful day. His dad couldn't stop him anymore. The map was engraved in his mind. No need to worry.

He happily crossed the district and went straight to that one house. Their house. There was a tiny chance that Norbert was there already and he wouldn't want to miss it. But even when he found it empty, it didn't ruin his mood. It was time to test if he remembered the map right and if it was really the best possible adventure.

As time passed, Arthur became more nervous. He was better prepared for this meeting, but the mere thought of meeting this amazing boy again and having to speak to him without talking bollocks made his heart pound heavily. Was he really ready? Well, he had to be. Norbert was nice after all. He wouldn't laugh at him, right?

Just seeing the boy though the window of their house warmed his heart. “Norbert!”, he shouted and climbed inside as quickly as he could. “Arthur, hey!”, the other boy said with his friendly voice and approached him. Without thinking, Arthur ran into him to hug him tightly. Norbert stood frozen for a second, then he laughed and patted the younger boy's back. “Careful, are you trying to crush me?” Arthur remembered that his father had said that to him sometimes when he had been to eager. Way back when he had still hugged him. Then he noticed what he was doing and promptly let go. His face felt very warm. Norbert didn't seem to be bothered by him, though.

“You're really back”, Arthur sighed out of breath with a wide smile. He just had to say it. The pressure in his chest wanted out. Norbert returned the smile, still not bothered by Arthur's awkward behaviour and also not mocking. Arthur still had the feeling that this boy was truly special. “Sure”, Norbert answered happily. “You made my mouth water last time. I wouldn't want to miss out on anything today.” “Oh, great!”, Arthur cheered and even jumped. He was so glad to be prepared. “I know exactly where we're going! Just follow me!” Norbert chuckled at his enthusiasm. “I'm right behind you”, he said as they climbed through the window back outside.

“Have you done this before?”, he asked while they strolled through the district. “Done what?” “Being a tour guide for someone in here?” Norbert himself didn't know what he was getting at this time. Every time he met Arthur, he felt like some undercover agent trying to figure out a conspiracy. Even though there wasn't much left of his first mistrust. Arthur just seemed to be a nice boy with a grieving father. That wasn't so rare. Nearly everybody lost someone in the past.

Also, he thought he should be happy about Arthur's excitement. The boy looked much better than before. He was beaming and jumping and laughing. But there were all these...things he had heard about the ruins. That certain shop owners suddenly put a lot of new stuff in their storage that had no specific origin. Of course, nobody was asking any questions aloud. The customers were rather happy about that unexpected blessing. And nobody would notice if anything went missing in, say, an abandoned household. And who would be better suited for collecting this stuff than little kids? As little as they could be these days. And it would be convenient for these kids to earn some money for their families.

But if so, what of it?, Norbert asked himself. It wasn't a crime. He had to admit to himself that he was just curious. It was a game he played with himself. Perhaps it was that place. Despite the fun they had, it still looked eerie to him. He had only wanted some peace and quiet in here, not actually stirring the ghosts of these houses.

“No”, Arthur crushed his theory with one word. “I was always alone here.” Then he found it sounded too sad, so he added: “It was more fun this way.” A second later, he stuttered: “Not that it's not fun now, I just...I mean...” Norbert laughed. “Hey, no problem. If you have enough of me, I'll leave you alone.” “I don't!”, Arthur shouted. Then he thought it sounded too needy, so he added: “Not yet.” in a cheekier tone. “If you behave.” A second later he wanted to slap himself. What horrible nonsense!

But Norbert laughed anyway. “If I behave? Well, let's see...You only get what you give.” “Are you trying to challenge me?”, Arthur played along. His face felt warm again. “What do you mean trying?” Arthur had to laugh and Norbert went on: “You can still give up if you like. I won't blame you.” “Never! You will give up!”, the younger boy blurted out between laughter. “Challenge accepted, then.” Oh, god, Arthur only thought. What the hell was he doing? And worse, saying out loud? He should put a plaster on his mouth.

When he gave Norbert a shy glance, he noticed something. “Did you forget your guitar in our house? Should we go back and get it?” “No, I didn't bring it this time.” Norbert shrugged. “It would just be in the way and in danger.” “Aww...And I thought you'd sing me a song!”, Arthur blurted out. He was really disappointed since he had missed his singing voice for two weeks now. Of course Norbert was right, it was better they didn't have to care for the guitar all the time. Still...

“So you really are my fan? I'm flattered.” Norbert seemed to play it down, but Arthur saw the spark in his eyes and his heart jumped for joy. “How could anyone not be your fan?”, he cheered. “Your voice is great! And your outfit...” He already hated that he had opened his mouth and stopped again. But nonetheless, he had made Norbert happy. “Even though it's too red?”, he teased with a wide smile. “It's not too red...I just...I wasn't prepared for it when I saw it the first time...” Norbert answered with a laugh. “You're not the only one. But thank you. That is...really sweet of you...” Arthur's heart jumped at the word 'sweet'. “You're welcome...”, he muttered, hiding his face away. “...not that I needed it”, Norbert concluded and threw his hair back. “I'm just awesome like that, you know?”

He made Arthur chuckle hysterically. “You're insufferable! I take everything back!” “Too late! Also, if you insist on that, I might never sing for you again...”, Norbert cooed. “Perhaps that's for the better.” “Excuse me? Would you kindly decide whether or not you like my voice?” “I have time until tomorrow anyway. If you bring your guitar then.” “I might decide it for you.” Arthur just had to look at him and met the most innocent smile. Norbert was the first person he knew who could hide a hideous message behind such a face. “Fine, I take back that I take it back! But you're still insufferable!” “I'm just honest.” “I didn't tell you to be honest, I told you to behave!” Norbert chuckled, but he put his hands together. “Go easy on me, okay? I promise you'll get used to me eventually. And then I'll appear very nice.” “That sounds...uh...I wanted to say 'promising', but...” “Oh, come on!”

“Yeah, yeah, I'll try...” Arthur acted as if he was annoyed when he was actually sweating. It felt so...new...unusual to joke around like that with someone who was older. Normally, they were dead serious or didn't care about him. Now it even looked like the opposite. Arthur played the serious part here. Like with Percy, but still not at all like with Percy. Norbert wasn't actually unreasonable, he was just joking. Unless he'd start running around with no pants...In this case... The thought made him blush. And grin.

Of course, Norbert had to notice it. “What's so funny?” He came closer but Arthur skipped away. “What? Hey, come here!” Arthur had to burst out in laughter again and ran away from Norbert's grip, making the older boy dart after him. “Come back!” “Catch me, old man!”, Arthur shouted back and set off to their first ruin in the tour. He was glad to shorten their trip this way because he hoped to act less like an idiot in the houses, where he could distract Norbert with treasure.

Gosh, did he really say “our house” to him? Now that he had time to think, he realized his mistake. Perhaps Norbert didn't notice, though. He hadn't mentioned it. During their race, Arthur managed to stay ahead of Norbert since he knew the best route through all the rubble. When he had reached the right place, though, he had to stop running. “Stop! Stop, we're there! This is it!”, he tried to convince Norbert to spare him, but the boy threw him down and tickled him without mercy. “Now you got a reason to laugh!” “Stop! I can't...I can't...”, Arthur panted and he was sure that his face was glowing redder than a traffic light.

Norbert stopped to Arthur's luck, or else the younger boy would've exploded. He sat up and panted too, even if he had been the one attacking. “You're completely exhausted”, Arthur dared to tease him. “And you, huh? You need some more?” Norbert poked him in the side. “No! That's unfair!”, Arthur shouted and kicked. “Hey!” Norbert patted the spot and when Arthur looked, he saw that his shoe had left a stain on the red cloth. “Sorry!” He shot up. “I...I didn't mean to...” Tears welled up in his eyes. “Hey, don't sweat it...”, the older boy said but he looked worried.

“If the tap is still working, we can save it!”, Arthur shouted and Norbert needed a moment to understand. Then they hurried into the house behind them and tried the sink in the kitchen. It worked. The sink was beyond dirty, but the water pouring out of the tap seemed to be good enough. Norbert splashed a handful on his upper leg. Arthur darted through the room, opening all the drawers. He didn't remember all the tiny detail in every house, so this was pure hope. He cheered when he found the soap.

“Oh, thank god!” Norbert smeared it over the stain and then poured more water over it. Arthur watched him with concern. His stomach cramped at the thought he might've destroyed this outfit forever. “Er...shouldn't you take it off?”, he asked quietly. “You have a second pair?” Arthur realized. “No, I mean...wait...Perhaps there are clothes in the bedrooms.” With that, he ran away to search the house. He was lucky again. Kind of. The pants he found had clearly seen better days and the moths had bitten a few holes in them, but they were at least dry.

Norbert didn't share his opinion, though. “Are you serious? Did you pull them out of a bin?” “You'll catch a cold if you keep these on”, Arthur tried to reason with him. Now this was more like Percy. “It's warm enough in here.” Norbert dropped the old pants on the floor. “But it's also dirty.” “I am careful, thank you very much!” “I'm sorry”, Arthur muttered and hung his head. “Hey, it's okay...”, Norbert put an arm around him and made him hold his breath. “I guess I attacked you first.” “You did...” “Yeah...”, Norbert sighed. “You alright?” Arthur couldn't believe his ears. Norbert still cared after what he just did? He gave him a surprised stare. “Yes. Er...my back hurts a little...I guess I fell on a root or something...” Norbert gently patted his shoulders. “I'm sorry”, he said with his beautiful, warm voice. And Arthur believed him.

[muzzled-kelevra]

Vent: not feeling appreciated, my interests are pushed away, not understanding needs, etc

I was trying to show my mother My House.wad since I absolutely love it [& it inspired me to buy and begin reading House of Leaves] and showed her the 7:50 song from the game, which led to me talking about EATEOT, which led to me talking about Unedited Footage of a Bear & This House Has People In It.

All of these are topics I utterly love but don't see a lot of recognition about online, or at least, can't find a space for me to inject myself into in order to infodump about it.

Anyway, any time I try to share my interests with my father, he doesn't seem like he even reacts. And my mother seems like she would rather do something else, or tell me to stop sharing and go to a chore or something else to do. While yes I understand I have responsibilities, I never ever open up about the things I love because this happens every time, and when I do try, I just get pushed away.

I feel like my parents aren't interested in or love seeing how interested I am in my own interests. Including my hobbies. Every time I show my dad a new art piece, his response is always "Don't you ever draw humans?" or "Nice."

I never get complimented on my personal works. I never get appreciated for the things I create. I never get genuine interest about the things I love and want to talk about. Sure, they can appreciate it in their own ways, but I need verbal validation or it just doesn't exist to me. My parents do this a lot for a lot of different things, not just my interests/creations.

It's gotten to the point that I don't know how to reply when someone else compliments me, or asks me about my interests, or asks if I need anything in general. I always reply with "I don't know" because genuinely... I don't know. Those needs haven't really been met before so how do I know *what* I need? And how to respond to those needs being fulfilled?

I wish people appreciated me. That I was actually someone to a person. I wish I felt like I existed. No one ever reaches out to me first, none of my friends eagerly want to hang out with me, my family never reaches out, my parents don't seem to be interested in what I like or how I feel. God forbid I mention anything to do with mental health.

I simply just exist for no one but myself.

And I hate it.

My dissociation makes that no better.

At this rate, I don't exist at all.

[otterpedia]

I think I'm gacha fatigued. I played quite a few games with gachas in them this year and after having my soul crushed repeatedly by my crappy pulls in DTW while my friends and my wife pulled characters I desperately wanted and gleefully showed them off to me (which is valid, and I'm genuinely excited for them too), I decided to reexamine why I was even playing some of these.

I want to begin by making it absolutely clear that I know gachas are gambling. I am aware of my gambling addiction, which I'm pretty sure is equal parts hereditary on my mother's side as well as a kind of mind game these activities trick your brain into. I have a lootbox problem and I am especially vulnerable to costume collecting.

I saved up tons and tons of gems or orbs or tickets or whatever for this game and that game, and because one game in particular had such powerful hooks in me, I didn't notice that my expectations for every other gacha were unrealistic.

I spent actual, real-world money that I needed for new clothes or a haircut or funds for going out and touching some fucking grass on the teeny tiny chance that I could get just one more character or costume or event prize for my digital harem simulator or whatever.

I like to collect things. (Hoarding is also a genetic failing on my mother's side, come to think of it.)

That's why these games are so dangerous in my opinion. I'm glad I don't like any other form of gambling games, and that cute anime girls were the motivation instead of the temporary thrill of winning.

Genshin Impact appealed to me because it felt like a "real" game that just so happened to have a gacha. The way the odds worked for the banners were also very F2P friendly, or so I told myself, with a guaranteed 4-star character or weapon every ten pulls.

The story was robust and the music was gorgeous. The fandom seemed pretty chill in my little corner of the internet, though I did hear the occasional rumblings of shipping drama. I read quite a few fanfics that were cute or funny or even spicy. It was a nice break from other games, or something interesting to do when Final Fantasy XIV had longer maintenance periods and I was anxiously waiting to log back in.

I truly love the world of the game still, even though I haven't played in probably at least a month and a half. I was super hyped for Sumeru, and I pulled my favorite character on my birthday last year.

That being said, I wrongfully assumed the new area in Genshin Impact would make me feel as before. The newest chapter of the main story dropped last week I think and I barely even noticed.

I felt nothing.

There were adorable cat people and steampunk elements and underwater exploration things and I. Felt. Nothing.

I decided that was enough of a reason to quit the game. If I'm not emotionally invested anymore, then why keep playing? I tried to quit before a couple times, but then I convinced myself that it had become a money sink, an investment.

That's not how games should make me feel.

Logging in started to feel like a chore. Grinding for ascension materials or talent scrolls or artifacts was tedious and boring. There were too many characters to keep track of, and they kept adding more and more stupid gimmicks. If I missed even one day of an event I wouldn't be able to finish it in time and receive rewards that would never come around again.

If I didn't log in, I told myself, I would get left behind by the friends I play co-op with. I would waste everyone's time because they would have to go back and redo stuff because I was lagging behind again because I play a lot of other games besides this one.

If I stop playing, I can't stay in the discord server we made for Genshin and I can't see all the funny memes and cool screenshots and drawings and fanfic recommendations.

Somehow I convinced myself that I had to keep playing this game that no longer held my interest or made me happy because if I didn't, then I'm letting my friends down.

This isn't the case, of course, but my brain likes to bully my heart a lot. I'm not letting anybody down. If anything, Genshin Impact has let me down. I have the power to uninstall the stupid thing and never touch it again. It's my damn computer, my phone, my life!

I like Genshin Impact still, but I don't play it anymore. If my friends are disappointed by that, that's okay. They're not disappointed in me, hell, they probably sympathize with my disappointment in the game because they are my friends, duh.

There's no reason to stress myself out over this. Which is why I needed to just write it out and be done with it.

So, there you have it.

I'm excited that my friends are excited, and that's good enough for me right now. If that changes in the future, then I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

And if my friends come across this post, I just want to say:

Thanks for playing with me, you guys! ❤️

[nirikeehan]

ways to say i love you with actions

Adapted from here (original source appears to be dead; tweaked slightly to make things more medieval fantasy friendly)

Hugging them as they're crying.

Taking their hand as they're about to hear bad news.

Pulling the blanket back over them as they shiver in their sleep.

Sharing an umbrella in the rain.

Looking at one another in times of doubt for reassurance.

Looking at one another in times of happiness to share smiles.

Carrying them piggyback-style because they rolled their ankle.

Using fabric to try and stop their gash from bleeding so much. - in progress

Softly placing a hand on their chest to feel their heartbeat.

Going with them to the store to make sure that they get everything on their list.

Giving them a cold rag to put on their head because they have a migraine.

Grabbing their shoulder to stop them from doing something they would regret.

Lightly kissing their scars.

Making them a friendship bracelet.

Helping them change clothes when they're unable to by themselves.

Washing the dishes when they feel too bad to do it.

Saving the last piece of their favorite candy for them.

Cuddling in bed for longer than usual because it's obvious that they need it.

Offering a hand to help them up after they've fallen.

Saving their life.

Doing something unpleasant because they want to/like it.

Watering their plants when they forget to.

Brushing a stray strand of hair out of their eyes.

Shielding their view from something scary.

Buying them something that they've wanted for forever.

Leaving flowers at their grave.

Hurriedly checking for their pulse.

Giving them ice cream when it's too hot out.

Smiling at them, simply in hopes that they will smile back.

Playing with their hair to calm them down.

Pressing small kisses all over their body because they're beautiful.

Letting them lay across your lap to read.

Leaving when you know that your presence hurts them too much.

Making them something special for their birthday.

Drawing/painting them.

Voluntarily doing their chores.

Reading a book/playing a game that they suggested.

Writing them a poem.

Bringing them their favorite tea when they have a sore throat.

Washing their hair for them when they can't.

Wiping something off of their face that they don't realize is there.

Giving them little head pats.

Using your body to shield them from the wind.

Using your body to shield them from attack.

Carrying their lifeless body back home because they didn't make it and the others deserve to know.

Taking them on a surprise date.

Writing them little sticky notes and putting them in random places.

Noticing that their lips are dry and then putting lip balm on their lips for them.

Gifting them something that's been in your family for years and means a lot to you.

Absently humming their favorite song when doing chores.

Singing them a lullaby when they can't sleep.

Making sure that they aren't alone when you know they need someone.

Letting them into a safe space that only you've known about.

Letting them see the sides of you that you're too nervous to show others, and mostly without realizing you've done it.

Dreaming about them frequently.

Day-dreaming about them frequently.

Bringing them something caffeinated when you know they didn't sleep well.

Holding them in your arms as their life starts to fade away.

Guiding them away from a situation that makes them uncomfortable.

Sitting next to them when they don't know anyone else around them.

Dancing with them.

Taking them to the healer, even if they're being stubborn and insist that they're really fine because you can tell when they aren't.

Fixing their collar/zipping up the back of their dress/adjusting a piece of their clothing.

Waking up and just laying in bed, admiring how calm and cute they look when they're sleeping in your arms.

Giving them little nose kisses.

Getting lost in each other's eyes.

Surprising them with unexpected visits.

Staying by their side when they've been hospitalized.

Teaching them how to do something they've always wanted to learn.

Learning more about their culture/heritage to try and educate yourself on what things have been like for them.

Learning their native language (if you don't know it) so that you can speak with their friends and family.

Forgiving them when they've hurt you, even if it's hard to do.

Inviting them to go out with you and your friends.

Inviting them out when they're lonely.

Having patience with them, even when it's difficult to understand their actions.

Doing things to better yourself because they make you want to change for the better.

Guiding them through a panic attack.

Listening as they rant about something that bothered them.

Listening as they rant about something they're currently obsessed with.

Getting matching tattoos.

Cutting their hair for them.

Changing your perspective on something because they explained why they believed the way that they did.

Disagreeing with them, but being able to do so respectfully.

Starting a family with them.

Believing in them when everyone else doesn't.

Yearning for them when they aren't around.

[a-weird-cryptid]

Chapter two: Time

This one's rather easy to explain. That's why this chapter won't be that long as the previous one.

If you're an artist, busy with other things like work, school, family or friends related things, as well as other hobbies, you know how hard it can be to find time to draw. Especially if making a drawing or similar takes a lot of time and effort.

Advice:

Since many struggle with finding the time to practice, I'd recommend to do at least a few quick sketches and doodles per day. Since you can easily do them on the side or in just a few seconds to minutes with pretty much and kind of paper and pen. They don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be fully rendered, they don't have to be detailed or complicated, nor proportionally correct. All they're suppose to do is "keeping you in the rhythm".

Another thing you should keep in mind is that just 10min of practice per day, can change your art and make you better. You most likely won't see any huge changes after doing this for only two or three days. But after a month? A year? I'm pretty sure you will. Meaning that you should try to dedicate 10-30min per day to doing just art and really focuse on it, if possible.

Try to find a good balance between work/school, life, friends, family, other hobbies, art, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but it's not an impossible task, if you try to find some kind of rhythm or routine.

During the time you dedicate to your art, you should try not to distract yourself. Don't get me wrong, listening to music or watching a movie or show on the side can really help to spark your creativity. And it's totally alright to do so. I hate drawing in complete silence too. But maybe put your phone away and put it on "silence mode", or at least ignore all of those (social media) notifications. Reading them 10min later will prob not change anything, except that you finally found the time to draw.

Don't forget to take breaks. If you realize that you can't really focus on what you're drawing or you just get frustrated, it's ok to take a break. This break can last for minutes or hours, but also for weeks or even months. If you realize that doing art now only feels like another chore, pressuring you, you should always take some time off. Of course this won't be possible for all artists, especially those who do it as a full time job, but if you can, then do it. The only important thing is that you get back to drawing eventually, if getting better is still a goal you want to achieve.

You could also try to make some kind of "daily plan". Try to set yourself one goal at the time, planning when to do what, how much you want to do and maybe even what exactly to draw/work on. This way, you don't "waste" time having to search for something that you want to draw and you can immediately go to work. Try to achieve your daily goal. If you can't, work on it the next time. And if still have some time left, you can use it to start a new project.

Don't try to do multiple huge projects at once. This will most likely lead to you being overwhelmed and feel even more pressured. Which is never a good thing when you're struggling with time limits. If you want to work on multiple projects at once, either work on many small and simple ones or one larger project and just a few smaller ones. Focusing mainly on the larger project.

---

That's all I could think abt when it comes to that point, but I'd love if you guys would add a few things or similar!

Summary:

do at least a few quick sketches and doodles per day

try to dedicate 10-30min per day to doing just art

Try to find a good balance between all the things you have to do

try not to distract yourself

Don't forget to take breaks

try to make some kind of "daily plan"

Don't try to do multiple huge projects at once, instead work on many small and simple ones or one larger project and just a few smaller ones

Introduction

Chapter 1: Practice

Chapter 3: Inspiration

Chapter 4: Passion/Motivation

For more original series, as well as reviews, discussions and similar, check out my master list of series.

[possumcollege]

Additional asks answered

favorite piece of clothing to draw:

I like drawing heavy coats, boots, short jackets and gloves. I love thinking up new dresses whenever I draw the middle sister in Crittertongue. Specific character outfits and models can be dull for me so I always make up her dress on the spot in a new strip. There are elements I repeat but it's fun to take a new swing whenever I can. The oldest sister has pieces I like repeating because they're like things I own or just look fun to wear. I like drawing practical, functional clothes. And smetimes that function is looking cute.

what do I listen to:

Having something to listen to really helps me focus. Hi- I have combined-type ADHD so I have a visceral need for input that I can ignore in order to drown out the racing thoughts that keep me from paying attention to or overthinking the task at hand before I get bored.

For penciling or sketching I'll listen to my Spotify likes. I can draw to pretty much anything and my tastes are all the heck over, it just can't be anything I haven't heard before or anything with songs over 4-5 min. For inking and less decision-y work I'll most often put on a show I've seen a million times, episodes of Columbo, the Mike seasons of MST3K, Newsradio, nothing I have a terribly high emotional connection with and again never something new because those just become distractions.

a creator I admire whose art isn't my thing:

A tough one. I can sour on creators faster for who they are than what their work is. I like the style and visual feel of the Pogo comics but they are a cognitive chore to read. Chris Ware is extremely talented and interesting but his comics can really bog me down. I tend to be drawn to works of art/writing/music first and dig into the creator later. If the art doesn't hold space in my head, the creator will usually wander off with it. Unless of course I know them personally, and then I don't comment on whether it's my thing in public. 😅

Something others find hard that I enjoy:

Not sure what most others struggle with so much but I really enjoy hand-lettering! I also love drawing hands, faces, eyes, the expressive bits that are bears to get just right and really screw up a moment of they aren't quite there. A key exception to that is Jack Kirby's Devil Dinosaur, whose face is always correct even if it doesn't match that the speaking characters say about it.

I make a lot of faces to myself while I'm drawing. I feel like being behind the expression can be more important than having an image to work from.

media I love that doesn't inspire me artistically:

I almost said Mr. Ed but I'm not sure that's true. I enjoy lots of creators whose strengths are just not my own and I don't feel like I need to replicate. Sometimes the things that inspire me translate more into my mental processes than the images I make. I enjoy noir aesthetics, artists who play with panel design, artistic angles, historic accuracy and well researched background, I love mecha, anime, period drama, technical draftsmanship, color- but at the end of the day I focus more on getting the story on paper, then see where I can challenge myself in the details rather than trying to push toward something markedly different from my preferred modes. Not to say I don't experiment but when the choice is try something very far from my comfort zone or know I'll get completed work on the page, I do what feels natural.

For the ask game: 8, 14, 30!

Old projects I've lost interest in:

I only really have two big projects, Crittertongue and Dinosaur Sheriff. I've been writing DS since 2008 and there are only 3 complete issues but my enthusiasm for it is still going strong. Crittertongue has just been more sustainable since they're shorter, and the narrative structure allows me to do more with it amidst my work and parenting duties.

If anything, I lose interest in themes. I grew up watching a lot of action movies and shows, reading stories with a lot of combat, explosions, gnarly kills, bizarre anime weapons, honorable or hyperbolic violence. While I still like dope fight scenes, action, giant monster fights (💚) in my media, I've lost interest in using it as a major fixture of my own work. There are more interesting forms of conflict than the kinds a character can address with a sword, and the guns in my life are quiet more often than not. A gun has more narrative weight for me as a threat, as a desperate thing. They lose their teeth when they become punctuation. So while my work does feature the odd scrap here or shots fired there, I try to keep it tailored more to the purpose it serves rather than engaging in it for spectacle.

Growing up as a boy, there was kind of an ever-present background of casual violence that really stressed me out. Like I was fucking up by not fighting more, but when I did get physical, I was overreacting. Fetishizing the capacity for violence feels gross to me. Anyway, that's about as close to an answer as I have there.

Motifs:

I try to keep my environments simple even when they're large and rambling, but I am mad for surface texture, patina, weathering, "beausage." I love when an artist can make something look hard or sticky, fuzzy or beaten up with linework. Environments where nothing looks new are like candy for me. Cam Kennedy drew a number of Boba Fett comics that I read to pieces in middle school and his line work created such beautiful texture, amazing eye-feel (gross), and visual interest that really tied characters into their environments. Learning how to balance out that kind of thing feels therapeutic for me. I hate the greebled massing of shapes and textures to make things look more dramatic or technical or interesting. It's very noisy. I really prefer more functional, practical shapes, and keeping things repeatable without turning my brain to soup or my wrist to dust.

I apply this most often to characters' clothes. Designs where a character is always converted in elaborately layered straps, belts, sashes, gear, armor... stuff give me a hot brain. Do they sleep in it? Where do they put it? Do they pile 3 satchels, a cape, a sword belt, two pistols, and a rucksack in the corner when they have to poop? Is that an answer? Yes. Answered. I'm great at this.

A piece I think is underrated:

Dinosaur Sheriff is definitely under-utilized in my portfolio and the first art was done while I was a young, sleep-deprived college kid, but I'd still love more folks to get to read it. I think it's gotten better with every issue but havent had the resources to complete, print or distribute it. 😑Ffff... I'm working on it.

[berrieluv]

Heyyy. I’m so sorry if I bother you or you already answered this question but are you planningon doing a part 2 of ,,the moment I knew”?

I loved the first part and it’s all I can think about since I’ve read it.

Have a nice day / evening!

The Last Time.

The Moment I knew (Part one).

Summary: "Please, I want you to realize that not seeing you hurts me. I'm not strong" She sobs as Sirius and Remus continue with their chores, stopping everything to look at her, after a moment of being talking they finally look at her. "This is the last time I'm asking you this; Please, put my name at the top of your list". TW: angst, child denial, this fic is not a safe space for james potter, remus lupin and sirius black, mentions of suicide. A kiss for those who find the song references.

I felt like a kid doing this draw and then I remembered this is angst.

"My dads are gonna love this!" [y/n] smiled showing her teacher her new draw. "This is my dad Remus" She pointed at the edge of the paper and looked at Mrs. Longbottom "He's wearing his sweater, he loves those sweaters, and his hair is kinda wild because he doesn't like to comb it"

Alice Longbottom smiled at her and nodded. "Yes, you're very right, love. Remus Lupin has never comb his hair a day in his life"

"No like daddy" She points at the other edge, near from the little house "Daddy Sirius always comb his hair. He takes care of it too much" She leaves the draw in the table for a moment and stars to comb her ponytails "I learn from him. Even tough he gets mad because I use his hair products. But look..." [y/n] takes Alice hands and puts it in her hair, making her feel how soft it was. "It's soooo soft. Just like daddy's"

"It is, my dear"

"Daddy Sirius is wearing his black leather jacket. It's his favorite"

"They're gonna adore it, [y/]"

It took Remus a while to get home from work, and it took Sirius longer, but by 10:00 p.m. they were there. It was past [y/n]'s bed time, but she was awake to show them her draw.

She was doing some things in her bedroom to keep her far from sleeping when she heard the door being opened, she walked downstairs as fast as she could and she stopped a moment to let them say goodbye to Mary Macdonald (now Mckinnon), her babysitter.

While she was almost falling asleep in the stairs, she woke up when she remembered what she wanted to do.

Running to her parents, Remus saw her, her feet without any shoes or socks on.

"[y/n]!" He yelled, making her stop abruptly at the loud voice "How many times have I told you?!" He walks to her with her slippers in hand "No running on the stairs, you can get hurt. And no going without shoes around the house, you can get a cold"

"Sorry, daddy" She mumbled as she slipped into her shoes "I want to show you and daddy something" She toked his hand and walks him to the living room, where Sirius was holding a beer and watching a Quidditch game on the T.V. "Daddy!"

Sirius turns to look at her and in annoyance answers "What?"

His tone passes by her and she walks closer to him, draw in hands; but she was too little to look behind the paper, realizing she's about to spill his beer.

And she does. And Sirius yells.

"Fuck!" He gets up of the couch and looks at her, clearly mad, his favorite leather jacket was now full of beer. Now, what was he supposed to use for work tomorrow? "Fuck, [y/]!" He trows his hands everywhere, making his anger even more clear "Why do you always have to do the same?! Why the fuck can't you be fucking careful?!"

And she gets scared. And she cries.

"I'm sorry, daddy" She tries to help him clean with her little hands, and Sirius only trows her away from him "I didn't mean to"

"That's always the fucking problem, you never mean to but you do it anyways"

"Sirius..."

Remus warns him.

And Remus doesn't know how to deal with two children. And Remus punish her.

"[y/n] go to your room"

"But dadd-"

"But nothing. Go to your room"

She leaves the draw in the chair in front of the couch and walks slowly upstairs.

"Everything alright?" She hears Remus' voice.

"Yes, yes it was just my jacket"

"Sorry"

"Is not your fault, love" Sirius sighs "It was me who insisted on getting a child"

"Maybe she can go back to the Mckinnons"

Sirius nods in a "No" and she gets scare while going to her room when she doesn't hear anything; "Let's just make sure she's sleeping at her hour"

Why would they send her to her babysitter house? She wasn't her dads, she wanted to be with her dads, not with her babysitter.

And she blamed herself. If she would've been sleeping none of this would happened. If she was more well behaved. If she was more careful. And she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Lily was there to take her to the kindergarten along with Harry. She kissed her parents goodbye and James stayed there to have breakfast and go with Sirius to work.

"Harry made this draw" He took it out of his wallet and showed it to his bests friends "It's me and him in a Quidditch game. He made one different for Lily. He's taking the separation very well, he's a smart kid. He understands that it's nor that mommy and dad don't love each other anymore, just, things didn't work out as in a couple. But he loves his dads being friends"

"[y/n] made a draw for us too" Sirius smiled looking at Harry's draw "Is not as good as Harry's tough"

James frowns listening to Sirius; How can a dad be sayin those things about their child?

"I'm sure it's really pretty. She's very good at those things" James looked at them "Let me see it"

But none of them knew where it was. After a passionate night on the couch, the draw was the last of their worries.

"She took it school with her" Remus answered quickly "We ask her for it to hold it on the fridge but she wanted to do some 'fixes`"

James nodded and smiled, finishing breakfast to get ready to work with Sirius.

"I just want a time to assimilate everything. To think. Why are they leaving?"

[y/n] was send to the school psychologist when she cried for the fifth time at school while being ask about her parents. But she would never tell. She would never talk about how Sirius would slam the door and leave home as soon as she does something that bothers him and how Mary arrives five minutes later because he can't possible tolerate her.

She would never talk about how Remus is always busy at Hogwarts, dealing and taking care of other people children and not her, about how there's days he's not even at home.

She would never talk about how some days, none of them are at home.

"Is there a problem with your parents, dear?"

Pandora Lovegood asked, looking at her in a warm way, with love and understanding.

"No" She asked quickly. Lying. "I just- I would like them to be a little bit more at home"

"Why aren't they?"

"Work"

Pandora nodded and when she refused to say more about Remus and Sirius, she changed the topic, talking about friends, dreams, and goals.

"I don't know why they're far from here"

[y/n] said later that day when Mary was told she had to see the psychologist due to daddy issues.

"They work vert hard, my love"

"Yes but, I mean, they could work a little less" And Mary knew it was true, she knew they weren't working. They were just far. "I would like them to think a moment about me"

"I bet they're thinking about you all the time" Mary smiled at her "I bet they're working hard and they say "Omg! With all this hard work I'll be able to buy [y/n] a..." Mary stops a moment and thinks about, looking at her "What would you like to get?"

"A doll house!"

[y/n] smiled. "I bet they think they would finally be able to buy you that doll house"

[y/n] nodded smiling.

But the years passed. And she didn't get her doll house. Yes, she did get all those Christmas presents, but they were never what she wanted. Because Remus and Sirius wouldn't listen to her. They just didn't want to look like bad parents in front of James, Lily and the Weasleys. And [y/n] craved for a little bit of attention from them, so it was ok. Any gift was ok if that meant she would get a hug when she faked excitement after opened it.

And after that horrendous birthday party, she decided to put limits. For her own sanity. Because she knew she couldn't do this anymore.

"I want to talk to you"

"What do you want now?"

She ignored Sirius annoyed voice and she sited in front of them on the breakfast nook.

"You weren't at my birthday party" Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus snorted "And before you can say anything. I'm not mad"

"Well, I don't see why you would be" Sirius answered as soon as she shut. "It wasn't like you were alone".

She bites her mouth so she doesn't spill the tears. "This is the last time I'm gonna ask you this" She plays with her hands, showing how nervous she was "Please, put my name at the top of your list"

Remus looked at her, her teary eyes as she spoke "This is the last time I ask; Why you break my heart in the blink of an eye? Like I would feel nothing. Like if it was nothing."

Sirius and Remus look at each other. They were never good parents. They wanted to. Of course they wanted to be good parents, but they wanted a boy. They're plans were never deal with a girl.

"What if we re-do your party, hu?" Remus asked, looking at her with a smile. And she nodded happy "We're organizing it. It's a "we are very, very, truly, sorry party"

And she hugs them, because there has been a long time since she felt her parents love. Not everything was bad all the time.

They were nice sometimes. Like when all the starts aligned and they were in an excellent mood. Like when they would go to a picnic under the moon and the stars. Or the week before a rough full moon, when they tough about everything they could someday lose. Or when Albus Dumbledore would congratulate their daughter for being first in every single class and they could brag about it in front of Draco and Lucious Malfoy. And mostly when Snape had to admit that [y/n] Lupin Black was an exceptional child.

And they weren't there. The party they organized. They missed. James missed. They weren't there, because Harry wanted to visit the new Quidditch stadium somewhere in London.

[y/n] found herself at Fred and George's door, their department on top of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, but she forgot they weren't there. And just like all those times before, she ended with Mary, after looking for comfort everywhere, she was always the one for her.

"I'm not sure how i got here" She tells her, crying "It just, it feels better when you're looking at me"

Mary smiles, with sadness in his expression, but she hugs her, and she holds [y/n] in her arms.

And right before her eyes, she stars to break. And in that moment, Mary comforts her, and she forgets the past and the reasons why she was crying, and she forgets that no matter how many times she would be there for her, she would always end up with Remus and Sirius when she's happy. But at that moment, it was just Mary and [y/n]. Mom and daughter.

"What if me, Marlene, and you, move?"

"Move? Where would we go?"

"Anywhere you want" Mary smells her hair and squeeze her harder.

"But what about Marls' job?"

Mary thinks about it for a moment and realizes that it's not that easy to run away "Or just, just come here, mhm?"

"I don't want to leave my parents"

"You don't have to. You would always be allowed to visit them. Just take a break from them"

She nods. And by the next day, her things are out of home.

"Do you think they will miss me?"

"Sure" Mary kisses her forehead as she helps her to install in their home.

"I feel bad"

"Why? You gave them enough opportunities"

"I told them nothing"

"They don't need to know"

"I didn't tell James"

Mary groaned at the mention of the name; She hated James. She despised him and how he would sleep with the girl he saw grow up. "Look, I'm not stopping you from doing what you want or feel like doing. It's not like me. But think about it twice".

"I know. I'm weak when it comes to him"

"You're weak when it comes to anything that can help your daddy issues"

[y/n] laughed, and nodded. She loved Mary. Her and Marlene were like her moms, and she would give everything to be born again and have them to raise her.

It was 3 a.m. and [y/n] couldn't sleep. She was far from home. She has never been that far from home. Remus and Sirius were just fine. And James was better. Sleeping after a night of sex.

And they notice she wasn't there when they needed their daughter to assist to a social event.

"Where's her?"

Sirius shrugs and Remus looks everywhere, the last part he checks is your room, only to realize you things weren't there.

"She left" Remus told Sirius, feeling his hear break "Why?"

He was breathing heavy and Sirius noticed how his lover was starting to have a panic attack.

And just as Remus is failing to breath, [y/n] does too, and Marlene enters her room, scared, not knowing what to do.

"It's gonna be alright, darling. It's gonna be alright"

But she doesn't know how it's like in her mind. She doesn't know what it's like to want to die.

"I can't carry this anymore"

[y/n] went back to Remus and Sirius after three days with Marlene and Mary. Not because she didn't like to be with them. But because Remus and Sirius were her fathers, and when they came looking for her, with worry in their expressions, she told herself it was gonna be different.

She saw how they were cheering Harry as he did the shots game at Ron's birthday party.

"Would you like me if I drink that?" She asked Sirius over the loudly music at the place. "If you wanted I could take that"

"What are you talking about, love?"

She smiled and moved her head, telling him to forget it, and felt sad at the same time, because she knew she'll do anything for their love.

After a week back with her parents, she found herself hanging out with Cedric. Of all the people in the world. She was there, in the rooftop. With Cedric.

"I always wanted to come here" She told him. "I never tough it would be with you"

He smiled and nodded "Me either" He looked at her with love, his eyes making her feel appreciated, that was the Cedric's effect. He made everyone feel welcome and capable of everything.

"You know, when I die, I would like to have this view"

"When I die..." Cedric started. "I would like my wife to hold my hand"

She looked at her with a smile "And who do you want to be your wife?"

She liked Cedric. Of course she did. He was so handsome, and caring and attentive. But it was just a crush, she didn't planned on marrying him.

Maybe she would've marry Fred. In the past. If he wasn't with Angelina now, and if she wouldn't have been so in love with James Potter to notice Fred was in love with her, maybe they would be together.

"Well, I don't know who exactly I want to be my wife" Cedric answered "I just want to be with someone who loves me"

"And you haven't find no one?"

"Well, I've been engaged two times"

"None of them took you to the altar?"

"No" He simply said. "I guess I'm too fucked in the head"

"I think you're cool"

"Will you take me to the altar?"

[y/n] nodded.

“Well, I feel flattered”

But [y/n] mind was feeling different. “I feel so scattered"

"Then we better get away from the border"

She cries and Cedric panics. What was he supposed to do? They've know each other for a while, yes, but they were just starting to get into intimacy. So he kisses her. He tastes the salty tears on her cheek and gets her away from the shore when he stands up with her in his arms.

She found a safe place with Cedric. And him, along with Fred, became Mary Mckinnon's protégés.

Honestly, what Cedric felt for [y/n] was something he never saw coming. But he was okay with that feeling.

"You feel like the sun" Cedric says to her as they're lying in his bed.

"Mhm?" She murmurs in confusion.

"I feel warm when I'm around your arms"

"You know" [y/n] said "If I die, right in this moment, I will die happy" Cedric frowned at her and denied it.

"Not me. I wanna be holding my wife" She smiled and looked at him "That would be a heavenly way to die" He kisses her forehead and she laughs "I'd be so lost if you left me alone"

Everyone loved the way Cedric's eyes lighted up when he was talking about her; "I mean, am I even allowed to look at her like that?" He joked with his friends, [y/n] was at the other side of the room, but Cedric couldn't stop looking at her. "She's just so nice to look at" He state. "Look" He took a polaroid picture of her smiling, a summer dress covering her body and the background was showing a beautiful park that "She means everything to me"

But when she arrived home, she was miserable. Now, not only Remus and Sirius were at war with her, now the war was against each other.

And she asked when did they loose everything? Because even tough if they didn't love her, at least they loved each other, just as much as the moon and the stars.

"I'm putting all my energy on this matrimony and you're out there with James and Peter doing nothing about this! About us!"

She sited at the top of the stairs so they would not see her.

"I'm tired of you, Remus!" Sirius yelled back "I'm tired of you asking me for things I don't want to do! Just fucking let me be"

Remus massages his forehead "I'm just asking you to be a father"

"Believe me, I would be an amazing father if I had a boy"

"But you don't, Sirius. We have a girl. And we've lost enough years. Just, ok, it's really sad you couldn't have a boy, but you still have a daughter and she ran away once. I don't want her to do it again".

The fault, the blame, the pain was making its way on her chest. She was the reason her dads were fighting.

Would they be happier if she was gone?

"C'mon, Remmy. Give me a kiss" She smiled when after a while, they stopped yelling at each other.

"You had to fucking do it again" Remus groaned. He took her by her arm and drag her inside the house from their anniversary party. "Why can't you fucking behave for once?"

She blinked, trying to not see Remus in front of her, thinking her mind was wrong and the one letting out the bad words was Sirius, as he always used to, and not Remus, because even tough Remus had anger issues, he would never talk to her like that.

She couldn't move, he was jiggling her in an abrupt way, trying her to react. When did she become so numb? When did she lose herself? Not a single word at her tongue as Remus was physically hurting her. She couldn't even feel his strong grip in her arm.

"Sorry"

She said, but it didn't feel like her, it felt like someone else. She was paralyzed. Where were her feelings? Did she finally loose them?

Cedric saw them when he was looking for his girlfriend and he ran as fast as he could to take Remus hand out of her.

"What are you doing?" He carefully takes [y/n] away from there, looking at Remus with anger and confusion. He knew they had family problema but never tough it would ever be at this point "Love, are you alright?"

She nodded with eyes wide open and emotionless, she was paralyzed.

"I didn't feel it"

"What do you mean?"

"I know he was hurting me because I saw him doing it, but I felt nothing" Cedric hugs her "It's like I was someone else, why? He was hurting me and I just watched him. I just watch him"

She murmured the last thing "And I'm not feeling"

"[y/n]..."

"I don't even know if this is the real me"

"Let's get you to your room"

Fred was going round around the house, looking for [y/n] after Remus came back to the yard in shock, demanding Sirius to go inside with him.

He tried to go into the bathroom, the door was locked but he broke trough anyways, finding her lying on the floor. He kneels at her quickly, pulling her close to him so he can feel her heartbeat.

"Hey, [y/n]. Hey, darling. Love. Can you hear me? Please, please don't leave me"

He yells and Sirius, who's the one inside the house hears, he runs as fast as he cans when he finds himself paralyzed at the picture.

His daughter. His baby. The person he owned so much.

"No, no, no, no. Baby, baby hear me, please. Hold on, ok? Hold on" He looks at Fred "Get help"

And Fred knows there's nothing else to do when you finally close your eyes and your chest is slowly stopping its movement, but he goes out of the bathroom anyways, knowing Sirius and you need this time alone.

"Hold on, baby, please. Hold on, there's so many things we haven't done together" He tries to open her eyes, he takes a little bit of water from the bath and washes her face "Hold on I still want you. Come back I still need you" He cries "Please, please I swear I'll make it right this time"

But not amount of apologies and promises can't save you now.

Remus and Sirius are walking a long endless highway trough the hospital. [y/n] stays silent beside them. It felt like walking on a nightmare, but this time they couldn't wake from it.

The doctors took Remus out of the room, and Sirius could see him screaming "Please don't leave me!" to the door.

"I tough I wanted a boy" Sirius said when Remus sited next to him. "But I want nothing more than to be with her now" He cried "Why did it took me to this to realize? That I wanted to be a good father"

Remus hugged him. They were both wrong.

"I'm imagining her, coming out of that room, saying 'Daddy let's go home' just as she used to when it was late at a party"

"When she was like seven. Before she stopped calling us daddy or dad"

"Yeah" Sirius nodded "I just wanna take her home".

Mary was walking trough Remus and Sirius house as the funeral was being hold. She found Fred and Cedric siting on the couch in front of her picture.

"Cookies?"

They rejected them kindly.

"I booked the night train" Cedric said, playing with his mom ring in his pocket "I have no reason to stay here now" Her picture in his wallet started to talk to him, and he knew he would go insane.

"You..." Fred started "You told your family?"

"Yes"

"About what?" Mary asked them. None of them feeling the question as an intrusive one since they felt comfortable around them.

"I was about to ask her to marry me"

Cedric's plan was to wait for Sirius and Remus party to be over and start theirs. Now, no one's celebrating.

Sirius walked to them, completely dress in black as usual, but now, it looked sad. "Cedric, a word?"

He pointed at the stand next to her picture. He had a speech, but he's speechless. He denied, feeling his throat dry.

Love slipped beyond their reaches. The other people looked at Cedric with pity.

"She would've made such a lovely bride. What a shame she killed herself" they said.

"Fred?" Sirius invited, this time he accepted. Standing up and walking with a glass of wine in his hands.

"[y/n] was the bravest person I know" He started, feeling the words accumulating his throat but refusing to leave "She never showed she was afraid. But I guess feeling alone was too much to face"

Mary took over Fred's when the tears were too much, and he get down, to be comforted by Angelina. And Cedric envied that, because the only person he wanted to be comforted by was gone.

"Continuing with Fred's speech" Mary said, looking for Marlene's eyes "[y/n] would always tell herself she could do everything with no help at all. But when it got hard she would lose her focus, and she found herself at my door. I would tell her, that she doesn't have to be afraid, because we're all the same, and we all have fears and that soon the fog will clear up. I guess, sometimes it all gets a little too much".

Remus woke up next morning. Sirius did as well. His pretty grey eyes were now red and teary. Remus only gets to hokd him, he had to be strong, for Sirius, for him.

"I wasn't ready to let go"

Cedric had dreams about her. Where he can still see her smile, that same one she would wear every time he told him he loved her. Those memories would make him happy for a little while.

"At least when she run away we knew she was still here" Sirius said "Why did she had to go to a place where I couldn't follow her?"

Remus shrugs and gets ready to sleep.

"I like to sleep" He says to Sirius, allowing himself to be the vulnerable one now "I see her every time in my dreams. When I fall asleep"

"Lily says she's looking down upon us" Remus, who's now facing the pillow murmured something to Sirius "She says that when a flower blooms is she telling us that she's fine, or when one of those pretty birds stand in our windows and sing when we're missing her it's her, whispering; 'dads, it will be alright"

"That's a pretty way of seeing it" Remus said, positioning face up again.

"Yeah" Sirius sighs "But why did she had to go to a place where we couldn't follow?"

"Well, even if it was us first, she surely went to heaven, Sirius. She's an angel. She always has been. We're going deep down"

[hawksugarbaby]

Todoroki x reader- Fix you with gold

Angst + Villain reader Au

Quirk: kintsugi- you can manipulate strings of gold hardening it as soon as you need to you can also remelt it.

Crimson lights flooded the bare brick room as you watched from the corner waiting for your dear hero to wake up. Shoto todoroki. You had been well acquainted a few years back. When you haven't been coined as (y/n) (y/ln) the UA traitor but now, well not so much for obvious reasons.

Thankfully, the boy you had once loved more than anything was chained up against a chair with his head hanging low avoiding the glare of the red filter. No no this isn't your boring old yandere simulator storyline. You had no intentions of killing everyone who looked at your dear peppermint boy, you had no of killing him because you loved him that was just absolutely ridiculous... no, you were killing him because he was a hero. But was he really?

Your chair screeched as you pulled it along behind you appearing from your corner and sitting yourself down drinking a lovely tea from a beautiful porcelain cup... well, beauty is subjective. "Good morning shoto" you greeted, your cheery attitude slipping between your grit teeth. Yes, today would be a good day "lovely day, isn't it? For a little chit chat hm?" silence. Once again your response was silence "oh come on my little hero I know you're not dead. Yet" it was a fun game you two had. You would talk, he would not, but all your conversations were rather one-sided and you decided chess was more fun with 2 people. Today was going to be the day you broke him once again.

"Shoto, are you interested in what would happen to you if you keep up this silly game of silence?" you asked and finished off the tea spinning the handle around your index finger. You stood up and launched the cup against the wall fragmenting into small pieces that rained down like drops of blood, he winced knowing that the cup was expensive and not easily found. rich boys and their pottery. "I wonder how easily you shatter compared to a teacup. Shall we find out?"

You put your finger on his chin and forced his head up to look at you. His mismatched eyes bore into you with sadness "I used to love you" he whispered. You let go of him and maniacal laugh erupted from inside you which bounced off the walls into his ears "Shoto you still love me. You want me to change my ways and go back to the way I was, maybe join you as your sidekick hm?" he looked at you his eyes wide with the kindling of hope "WELL NEWSFLASH HERO I never was that girl. I was a lie, a book wrote and edited to suit you" you watched as the hope dwindled away the kindles blowing out in the icy wind of your words you leaned down to his ear and whispered "everything you saw in me was an illusion. I could never be a hero, do you know why? Because heroes aren't real"

you stood back up stretching your arms behind your back a Cheshire smile graced your face. "you still have so much time to join me sho, no ones coming to find you, dearest" you sat back down on your chair leaning forward on your hand "you're a villain (y/n) there isn't a way in hell you could convince me to come to your side" you bit the inside of your cheek and pushed yourself off the chair and walking up to him, your face barely inches apart. You kicked his chair over, flicking a butterfly knife out holding it close to his neck "NO. I'M THE GOOD GUY HERE I-IM THE GOOD ONE. YOUR NO HERO I'M CLOSER TO A HERO THAN YOU'LL EVER BE" you spat while he struggled on his back like a helpless tortoise. You were in the right of course you were. Heroes aren't real anymore just read the news the hierarchy was crumbling and the ones who were at the top had the furthest to fall.

No one needs saviours anymore. "Your insane (y/n) your sick please just let me help you" you hated it when they told you that "SHUT UP. I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT. I'M NORMAL. YOU'RE THE SICK ONE YOU KNOW WHY" you pushed the knife up drawing pinpricks of blood that trickled to the floor slowly "because you crave to feed a hunger you cannot satisfy. You want to save as many people as possible, lock up all the villains yes?" he couldn't look away from the intense expression that hadn't left your face since he told you you were a villain "what happens when you lock up the villains hm? When you run out of people to save? Who runs wild through the city then? You pump out heroes every day leaving less and less for you and between you and me it looks like your going to run out of us soon" you pulled the knife back and todoroki released the breath stored up. Now he looked at it, you weren't wrong? What would happen when the villains disappeared. The heroes that were supposed to make people feel safe no matter what had struck fear into the hearts of every civilian in the world, no one dared to steal, to murder, to light their fires across the country for them to trace back to a warehouse in the middle of the wood?

No, he couldn't be thinking about that. He was a hero through and through you wouldn't change his mind with a petty butterfly knife. You scoffed at his pathetic state squirming under you and stood up pulling his chair back up along with you "you're still so handsome shoto, it really would be the biggest shame to ruin you" you sighed remembering a time when you truly wanted to be with him no matter what. But your ideologies just weren't compatible. "Do you know what happens when you mix bleach and rubbing alcohol?" you pulled a bottle of anti-septic out of your pocket and slipped a white cloth down from your sleeve to your hand "no answer? Or are you being ignorant again" he pursed his lips keeping his words sealed in the front of his mouth "fine. Let me show you." you poured the anti-septic on the cloth and walked up to the gorgeous boy in front of you stooping down "last chance my love" he looked at the wall and you groaned in annoyance. You forced the cloth in front of his mouth and nose and smiled sweetly "you make chloroform"

Day 2

Well, it turns out yesterday wasn't the day. But he was getting close you could feel it, you would take a slightly softer approach today there was another name for this, manipulation. "Morning shoto, are you feeling chatty today?" he looked up from his chair quickly when you entered. Despite what others thought, you weren't completely heartless, you would bring him food and water, and for a hostage, it was pretty good food. Maybe it was the remnants of your love that made you treat him differently. You unlocked his chains and passed him his plate. He knew there was no chance of escape, he had tried and failed a hundred times, he couldn't use his quirk in this room, and you were waiting around every corner when he tried to run.

"You know what I really don't understand shoto?" you wandered around the ruby room admiring the walls that kept him inside "when I first met you you said you despised your father and you would go against him in every way possible" he ceased eating at the mention of his father his appetite suddenly lost in the crowd of emotions "so why even become a hero. Why did you not run off? be the opposite of what he ever told you to be?" you were getting there you could feel it ripping through the air. He was lost, and confused? Who did he want to be? Certainly not anything like his father? Why did he ever want to be a hero? To save children who had to bear what he bore, why should he care for them if no hero ever cared for him "as I see it your father is worse than ever is he not? He lost Touya, he can't find you, he's wearing fuyumi and natsuo away desperate to have his perfect creation. Wouldn't now be the best time to join me sho" the plate hit the floor splitting apart just like his own sanity. Here we go. This would be so fun.

You sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him and picked up the pieces of the broken plate stacking them in your hand "you've heard of kintsugi I assume?" of course he had he grew up with everything, he nodded hesitantly his dual coloured fringe hanging in front of his eye as he leaned over watching you intently. You started laying the pieces of the plate out like a jigsaw fitting them together perfectly "if you just took my offer sho..." you started pushing the pieces together and lines of gold brushed over the old cracks, you lifted up the plate and put it on his lap "I could fix you up with gold" you whispered he gulped and traced his finger over the gold that welded the plate making it better than before. "We could get to know each other again. Love each other REALLY love each other shoto please I'm begging you" you really hated playing the broken lover card especially to someone you truly did love, and of course, you wanted to know him all over again but the begging really was a chore you had to fake so much emotion.

"I-i missed you (y/n) I really did I want you to come back to me the way you were before. Don't do this please" he begged. He knew this was it. He couldn't hang on any longer he had missed you for so long he couldn't stand being away from you again and ... you were right! Why should he strive to be a hero when none had ever cared for him when he was almost dead, beaten up by his own father who had the audacity to call himself a hero. He was nothing more than the creature to be puppeteered by Viktor Frankenstein. "THIS IS ME. can't you see that shoto this is who I am? The way I was before was fictional I tailored for you" you brushed your hand across his scarred cheek and brushed his hair out of his face "but you could know me, you could love me like this, couldn't you. You just need to join my side."

he looked at you, taking in your details for the first time in 4 years. You're (e/c) orbs didn't even try to attempt hiding the craziness behind them, the way your grin had a sadistic twist that could make any god coil in fear, your (h/l) (h/c) that was matted and bloody, the way the red light mimicked the bloodlust radiating off of you, yet he could still find comfort in it. "I want to know you," he said in his low monotone voice. The breaking point. You were his breaking point. "Let's get to know each other then hm?"

[krys-loves-otome]

ooohhh may i have 6, 9, 13 for all of your ikeseries ocs? >:3c

Well, this took entirely took long and a lot of brain thought.

And, though I forgot to tag her in my initial reblog of the questions, you did say all my ikeseries ocs, so I threw in my second ikesen oc Ophelia too, for funsies.

All six of my girls in one place, oh my!

Before the questions, I'll give a quick summary of who's who.

Houki (IkeSen): Book-loving gremlin that came from another world. Suitor is Mitsunari.

Ophelia (IkeSen): Ambitious widow that also happened to fall into Sengoku Era Japan. Suitor is Kennyo

Madeline "Maddie" Fleming (IkeRev): 30 year old magical girl that falls into Wonderland. Suitor is Harr.

Dorothea "Thea" Reid (IkeVamp): Fashion historian and seamstress. Her main suitor is Theo

Abigail "Abby" Clarke (IkeVamp): Artist that is quite shy. Suitor is Vincent

Clara Laurent (IkePri): Avid book lover that is the next Belle. Main Suitor (for now, since she is fairly new) is Nokto.

Original Meme here

And, since this got fairly long, putting it below a cut.

Have fun, loves!

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6. On an average day, what can they be found doing after dinner?

Houki

Probably reading, either by herself or with Mitsunari. They also talk about their days and what they plan on doing the next day. Nice and relaxing stuff. Some occasions, she'll also play Go with Nobunaga or whoever else wants to play with her.

Ophelia

Mending clothes and making small talk with Kennyo and Ranmaru when he visits. Might make some tea if Kennyo's doing paperwork late, but it's generally a quiet affair.

Maddie

Having tea with Harr and Loki as they talk about their days. Maybe a small lesson in magic theory as Maddie loves learning from the two of them.

Thea

Helping Sebastian with the evening chores like cleaning dishes and such. Afterward, she'll see what the other mansion residents are up to. Sometimes she'll read in the library or the salon. Sometimes she'll play games with Theo and Arthur in the game room. Sometimes might sit in Theo's lap while reading. Really depends on her mood.

Abby

Helping Sebastian with some late chores like cleaning up after the dinner crowd by washing dishes or putting them away. After that, she'll wander around and say hello to whoever's up or maybe go to the library to find art reference books she can study. Maybe some drawing studies too from the reference books. She might also hang out with Vincent wherever he's at, be it painting or in the game room with Arthur and Theo.

Clara

She is a diary writer, so she'll write down her thoughts and experiences of the day in her trusty journal before bed. She keeps it mostly to herself, not showing it to anyone, even Rio. Nokto tries a few times to read over her shoulder as she's writing, but he usually gets smacked for his troubles.

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9. What was their first kiss like?

Houki

She never paid attention to that sort of thing, being more interested in scholarly pursuits than romance and all that nonsense. There was a stablehand back home that did have a crush on her, but she nudged him towards a maid that had a crush on him, thus solving the problem, but no first kisses there.

Her first kiss was very likely with her suitor, Mitsunari. I can't remember specifically when kisses happened in his route, so I'm gonna point to my 'Kisses' WIP Wednesday as that one being their first kiss. Reunited after Mitsun tried to sacrifice himself, outrunning their enemies and the wormhole storm. Before that moment, they had mostly held pinkies and sat beside each other, not inherently romantic gestures, but there was growing affection each time they did these actions. The first kiss came after a long string of stress and danger, glad they could be in each others' arms once again.

Ophelia

Like Houki, she never really was interested in the romance of a first kiss, but unlike Houki, she had more responsibility to worry about rather than any outside interest. Her parents were more interested in partying it up with other nobles and sexy times than to take care of the nine children at their manor, so responsibility for them (and their estate) fell onto her, their eldest. She also tries to have good relations with other nobles, she still refused romantic courtships due to the fact that she needed to take care of her family.

Her first kiss, however, was on her wedding day, to her first husband. To help with the family's financial struggles, she had been married off to a man old enough to be her grandfather. She never was affectionate towards him, more civil to him as what was expected of a 'dutiful, obedient wife.' On her wedding day, after the vows were spoken, she gave him the traditional kiss, closed-mouthed, chaste, quick, but it was enough to sicken her to her core. She never felt good about kissing anyone else after that, for many years in fact. She still struggles to give Kennyo kisses some days as it recalls one of the worst memories of her life. When she does come to terms with her trauma, it gets easier to give her love the kisses he deserves. Mostly cheek kisses and on his hands, but she still can't mouth-to-mouth kiss him.

Maddie

Being an older Alice, Maddie has had a few romantic escapades in her life before she met Harr. Her first kiss, a middle school crush that later broke her heart when she found out it was on a dare. This was years before she would find out about her magical abilities, but it's always been there, though nerfed compared to what it would become once she journeys to Cradle. Still, she still had a small influence in turning his life into hell, earning her a 'weird girl' status from her peers, thinking she might be a witch that could curse people.

When she gets with Harr, she's a little hesitant. She has powers that she didn't know she had outside of her Alice-given powers to block magic. She was naturally worried that she might hurt him, as her powers are tied to her voice. Harr reassures her that they could stop if she felt like she was hurting him. But he was curious about how kissing would work with her. Much as he didn't want to admit it, there were some… ambitious students in the Magic Tower that tried to increase romantic or sexual pleasure through magic, which had him intrigued. Much to Maddie's relief, I keep remembering that her powers don't work on humans, so she gets to normal kiss Harr as much as either of them wants to kiss each other.

It also does mean they could find out how Harr's powers working on her though. For research. ;)

Thea

Her first kiss, she really hates to admit, was by complete accident. She was in a heated argument with a kid at school. It was moments away from turning into a physical altercation, only for one of them (she refuses to say who) to trip and to fall on the other's lips. Cue lots of comical spitting and gagging surrounded by uproarious laughter from the other kids circling them.

With Theo, in contrast to her first actual kiss, was a much quieter, calmer affair. She loves bantering back with him, never wanting to be a step behind him, preferring to be his equal that can stand proudly by his side. But, when they're quiet together, it shows how much they can be vulnerable with each other. Her hands stung still from rescuing Vincent's painting, but everything else around them was quiet. They got to talking, about Theo's motives, about why he does the things he does, and one thing led to another and they end up kissing. It was the first time Theo had been that vulnerable and honest with her, so kissing, though not intentional, happened anyway.

Abby

Abby was always the shy type, not reaching out often unless she felt it was safe to do so. She liked the idea of romance but didn't feel like it was in the cards for her, with how strict and controlling her parents were. There were arranged marriage parents, but they never lasted for long. Most of them grew frustrated with her when she wanted to slow down in the relationship, it was often too fast-moving for her to keep up with. Her auntie took her in once a suitor pushed her too far and took the fallout for her niece so the girl could try and mentally recover.

Her actual first kiss, she likes to think, was with Vincent. She appreciated his kindness and patience. He always asked before doing any touching of her person, like touching her hands, to brush a stray piece of fuzz from her hair, or asking if she wanted a hug after a bad day. When she's ready, she returns the favor of asking for a kiss. Vincent was happy to oblige her, being gentle at first, letting her take her time. It made her love him more, giving him more kisses in thanks.

Clara

Clara held onto the belief that a first kiss was supposed to be special, that you saved for 'the one' to experience. She had been told she was prudish for holding back, but that was usually the deal-breaker for her. If you can't wait for her, she wasn't going to wait for you either. This was all well and good… until she was chosen as Belle. Suddenly thrust into high society and having to pretend to be an annoying playboy's fiancé, it definitely wasn't good for her heart. Nokto also grated her nerves, always trying to push her buttons by his incessant flirting.

And, unfortunately, her precious first kiss was stolen in a moment of anger. She had finally realized her feelings for Nokto and he was trying to push her away for the final time. Still, she pushed back against him, not giving up on the sly prince so easily. He accepts his feelings for her, being vulnerable with her for the first time in a long while. She names him king, he finds her once she stops being Belle and they live happily ever after.

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13. What special abilities or talents do they possess? Did they develop through training or were they born with them?

Houki

Her home country is famous for producing some of the greatest and most knowledgeable scholars in the Seven Kingdoms. Houki is no exception, spending most of her time with her nose stuck in a book rather than making meaningful political matches and relationships. So, technically, it's more of a product of her environment, but she has been surrounded by that enrichment since birth, so I guess she could technically be born with her abilities?

Ophelia

She trained hard for her abilities, to be able to charm a room full of people. She had to learn how to do it out of necessity, to make sure that her family survived and thrived. It also helped when she was staying in Azuchi as the castle chatelaine. Taking care of an estate was like second nature to her at that point.

Maddie

She is the great-granddaughter of Alice the First and her grandfather's line had some generational-skipping abilities and Maddie happened to inherit both! Her object influencing powers were damped in the Land of Reason because it has less magical essence than Cradle, so she was in for a big surprise when she crossed lands and her powers got a natural boost from Cradle's magical atmosphere.

Thea

She grew up in an environment that had parents passionate about their favorite subjects, namely sewing, fashion, and history. And all three of her parents passed on their love to their daughter, teaching her how to make and mend her own clothes, and to look at history with both a critical but understanding lens. So, again, it was more her environment that influenced her rather than being born with special talents. She worked at them, sure, but she also had loving and passionate teachers surrounding her.

Abby

She had a natural talent for art, both for picking up the principles and applying them to her own art, she can also use those talents to critique like a gentle boss. Unfortunately, this talent was often neglected or forbidden to pursue, only really seeing it blossom when she accidentally follows Comte to his mansion.

Clara

She's still a fairly new oc so I haven't ironed a lot of her details and specifics, but, for the purposes of this ask, I'll take the easy route and say her main talent is her kindness. It was likely what got her the position of Belle, having a pure heart that looked out for others. She took in the injured Rio when the two were basically strangers and nursed him back to health. She earned the goodwill of the Rhodolite townspeople, and though many of the princes get on her nerves, she still takes the time to learn about each of them individually so she can choose the next king fairly.

[your-greatest-queen]

Hey so can we all just agree-

Dewdrops on the grass early in the morning

The 4am sunrise in the summer

Snowflakes that are so big and fluffy you don't have to look closely to see their beauty

The grooves in trees

The softness of flower petals

The lighthearted feeling when you see marigolds

Cats eyes when their pupils are huge

Big animals who snuggle as if they were tiny

That extra crunch pickles give homemade sandwiches

How soft hair is the day after a shower

The way dragonflies look

 Butterfly wings

How fuzzy honey bees are

Frost on the trees in early winter

Slush in early spring

Thin ice on puddles that cracks when you step on it

Biking down a hill

Chugging water or diet coke after a thrilling bike ride

Climbing on trains and rocks and trying not to crack when your parents ask what you were doing

Racing friends on your bikes

Doing makeup and making jokes with your bestie

Camping with friends

That one part of that one song that just feels Right

Being in the exact middle of a book

Buying new books

Sitting in libraries

Digging your feet into the sand at the beach

Collecting rocks

Wearing comfy sweaters

Looking at a Christmas tree at night

Seeing somebody cry because of how much they love the gift you gave them

Writing in a new notebook

Warm puddles

Worms after it rains

Thunderstorms

The feeling when you're on a zipline

Getting new glasses

Warm blankets straight out of the dryer

A clear night sky so you can see the stars

How fluffy clouds look

Baby plants

Fruit vines

Caterpillars in the spring

Walking along train tracks

Exploring wooded areas

The sound of lone instruments 

Sunsets that wrap the whole world in colours

Foggy mornings

Full moons in the morning

Crescent moons at midnight

People that genuinely just like you

Fairy lights

Getting back into bed and instantly falling asleep after a midnight pee

Getting complimented on something unusual

Singing by yourself

Performing onstage

Climbing things with friends

Sleeping in a tent

Being on a boat

Flying in a helicopter

Being in the water

Christmas eve after everyone else has gone to sleep

The feeling after staying up for more than 24hours

Staying up all night to read fanfiction

Walking along a river

Waking up on days when the sun is shining so incredibly bright

Hearing songs that you thought had been lost in your memory

Watching your favourite childhood movies and shows

Getting a different haircut

The sense of accomplishment when you clean my room or finish all of your homework or chores

Writing an amazing chapter in a story

Going to the movie theatre

Watching plays and live musicals

Swimming in a lake

Staying in hotels

Riding motorbikes 

Playing outside at night in the summer

Laughing until you can't breathe

Knowing someone has a crush on you

Ice skating

Decorating a new bedroom

Running out of the lake to eat PB&J sandwiches before running back in

The feeling when everyone goes 'wow' and 'whoa' after you do something surprising or impressive

Having a friend sleepover

Playing games with your cool aunt and uncle

Long car rides

Playing in the rain

Those glow in the dark solar system stickers you can put on the ceiling above your bed

A perfectly smooth flowing pen

Putting together a puzzle

Just barely winning at Jenga

Wearing slippers to school

Fuzzy pyjamas on a cold night

Sitting in front of a fireplace on a chilly morning before school

Seeing your breath in the winter air

Seeing people light up and/or get flustered when you compliment them

Painting on a fresh canvas

Drawing in a new sketchbook

Putting a playlist on shuffle and all of the right songs play

Driving late at night

Getting ice cream at midnight

Freezes in the summer

Sitting on the trampoline and talking with a friend

Having a fire late at night

Finding out school is cancelled

Eating freshly fallen snow

Hanging out on rock piles with friends

Ladybugs being everywhere during autumn 

Hitting a pinata and getting the first break

Reorganizing your bookshelves

Soft grass

The world early in the morning when the Earth is walking up

Going to magic shows

Listening to adults tell you about how smart you were as a toddler

When cats press their face on yours