#can't feel nothing no more

[weepingseraphstranger]

Oh, so what? I'm the monster because I think screams and growls are hot? Well soooorry!

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

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[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[sparrowlucero]

do you actually dislike the bird abode or just the creature designs? not saying the name directly so your ass doesn't get blasted by the tag

I like a lot of the creatures in it; the showrunner is a really fantastic horror artist and it really comes through in the aesthetics of the show. I especially like this hand dragon, though there's a lot of other great designs:

As for the show on the whole, it's not bad but not really for me? Early on it really feels like it's schtick will be that it's a subversion of harry potter-esque stories, where the protagonist wants to go on an adventure similar to her favorite fantasy book but instead ends up hanging out with the "villain" (who's actually just othered)/the magic school turns out to be secretly oppressive/the world is kind of gross and spooky instead of clean and approachable... but as it goes along I think it ends up being a pretty by the books YA fantasy thing played mostly straight, and it isn't super interesting or funny or scary or anything besides that. Which admittedly was probably to its benefit, I think a lot of its popularity comes from it being this very tropeish and not-uncomfortable magic school/found family story that's actually queer, like I genuinely think this is hugely appealing to the average cartoon fan on twitter, but I'm just not personally into it in comparison to a lot of it's contemporaries

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[bardnuts]

keep calling your friends. Keep spending time with your friends. Yes, even if you tend to self-isolate. Even if you're an introvert. You don't have to throw a party--sit on the couch together doing different things, parallel play, read in silence, garden, whatever.

You need it like air. Talk to the loved ones in your life as much and as often as possible. Be intimate. Have deep conversations. Have casual sex if that's your jam. Be yourself. Be present. Be human.

It is essential to your survival.

[gummi-ships]

I just realized that Riku's hand visibly shakes when he tenses his fingers and wrist during his idle animation.

[prinsomnia]

smitten 🦋

[capydoodle]

have compassion for yourself and for others. it seems hopeless but any small amount of good you can do is just that much more love in the world

[fairsweetlonging]

have been in a qijiu/qiyuan mood lately, and i was thinking about an au where shen yuan, upon transmigrating, actually loses his memories. he wakes up and has no idea who he is, where he is, who the man at his bedside is. not a clue. the only thing he has is his muscle memory, his sharp recognition senses (he's experiencing a lot of déjà-vu), and blurry fractions of memories that he can't quite make out.

thing is, the memories of both shen yuan and shen jiu aren't actually gone, they start to intermingle, to mix up, a little sister in princess pajamas beside an older brother wearing dirty rags, a bright screen that displays mountain peaks and glittering caves. he's kind and generous the way someone who has never had to worry about food or money is, but he gets vicious and defensive when someone gets too close. sometimes he says cruel things and doesn't even understand why himself.

neither identity fits anymore, both names right and wrong at the same time. it's just... shen qingqiu.

and while everyone else might adjust to this just fine, yue qingyuan does not. because that is shen jiu, but it isn't, but it has to be, but not always. he gets flashes of his childhood friend when shen qingqiu gets viciously defensive over nothing, when he scowls and scoffs and rolls his eyes when he thinks people can't see, but then he smiles, and laughs, and tilts his head in a way that is completely foreign. he likes beasts. shen jiu never liked beasts. but he loves tanghulu, like shen jiu. sweet sugary things. the first time xiao jiu cuddles up into his hug, he cries.

the way he sometimes clings to yue qingyuan when he has a bad day can't be him, but then he says "qi-ge" exactly like shen jiu would and damn near snarls at anyone who gets too close, and he's aggressively possessive the way he was when they were kids. but then he pulls away and apologizes, like shen jiu would never do.

and he never demands anything, scrubbed clean from roughness and filth and selfish want, will act perfect and smiling and pleasant, never burdensome. like he's completely forgotten where he came from, what he was. like the pampered nobleman's son who could afford to be kind. the only time his old self comes fully back up is when he feels threatened or scared or angry, like a trauma response that kicks in to protect himself. and then yue qingyuan starts to wonder if maybe it is. maybe the shen jiu he knows was only ever fear and self-preservation, and the one he is now is a shen jiu without the chains and shackles and scars.

yue qingyuan doesn't know if he's happy for him, if it's for better or for worse. he does know that he feels protective and responsible for this new version xiao jiu has become.

meanwhile shen qingqiu, even when he regains enough of his memories to realize he was once a different person, doesn't know who he is anymore. both, maybe. or neither. he feels bad for taking away yue qingyuan's friend, but in his heart he can't help but think qi-ge is his brother, and no one else's. when he manages the peak he feels like he's taking credit for another's accomplishments, but he remembers suffering for it, he remembers what it took to get there.

[deoidesign]

Time and Time Again comes back tonight!

Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.

My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!

So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bare skin, bare feelings.

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[rheya28]

I saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw her...my heart shattered a little

[justanotherignot]

For Dame Aylin fic writers/fans:

Found this in the game files and now I'm heartbroken. I always assumed Aylin breaks her oath when she kills Lorroakan because she says almost the exact words a paladin feels if they break their oath, but I, like an idiot, never even considered that she might be angry at her mother.

[bonefall]

Welcome back Bonefall! If you haven’t already seen it, here’s a section from the preview of Ivypool’s Heart that everyone’s been talking about. I think that’s what the previous anon was referencing.

Ugh, I hadn't seen it. This is terrible, thank you.

While on one hand, this is very Ivypool, and I do like how she's clearly acting unreasonably because she's going through grief... yeah, this is completely backwards from what their situations are, imo.

Rowankit died of preventable causes, less than half a year ago. He wasn't just "a sickly kit," it was practically medical neglect on RiverClan's part. It doesn't MATTER that Dove will see him again in StarClan, he never had a chance to live.

It's not just about the weighing of the loss, either. It's the impacts on the WHOLE family. It's the stressful days that tigerHeartstar spent begging the Clans for medicine, sounding the alarm on low medicine supplies. It's Shadowsight powerless as his little brother got worse and worse. It's Lightleap racing for catmint on a quest and coming home just a minute too late. It's Birchkit who had to attend his twin's funeral as a child himself.

You see what I'm talking about? The way that nearly every interaction between Dove and Ivy boils down to Ivy being a jackass while Dove does everything in her power to comfort her? Ivy even anticipates anger, but Dove remains utterly calm so that she can validate her.

Dovewing doesn't even signal any pain. She does nothing except say the perfect words to assure her sister that she'll always be there for her once she stops acting nasty. As always.

It's kind of got that Crowfeather's Trial vibe. It's the mean character's time to learn a lesson about niceness, so everyone around him is ridiculously kind and patient.

I yearn for Dovewing to draw thicker boundaries, y'know? Tl;Dr, I don't like how the Erins write their relationship.