#can't believe it's taken me this long to do this but hey i was gone for two weeks and then spent a week opening commissions so I GET A FREE

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

ALRIGHTY’S I KNOW ITS BEEN A HOT SEC I’VE BEEN GONE CAMPING AMONGST THE TREES AND THEN OPENED COMMISSIONS BUT NOW IT IS FINALLY TIME TO SIT DOWN FOR ANOTHER KNOX REACTS. WHATS UP ON THE MENU TONIGHT?

MONKIE KID SEASON 5 EPISODE 3

(spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it)

Yeah alright, lets see what we got here title be TEMPLE OF THE GODDESS. Sounds cool sounds neat, is this gonna be Nuwa’s first appearance then? or like… i assumed she’d show up later ngl if at all, sets have a habit of adding characters that never show up sometimes— AHEM

.

ACTUALLY THIS FEELS A BIT SURREAL LIKE RIGHT THERE’S MONKIE KID EPS OUT THAT’S CRAZY HELPGLKMAF;LKSDF

Let’s see how I do after two weeks of semi-fresh slightly smokey tree air—

theme song my beloved, oh yes okay the three weeks did something i’m almost used to the animation difference i think it’s settled we’re good i can react primarily to the story now WHEEZELKGJASL;KDF

OHH OHH OKAY IT MIGHT JUST BE THE TWO WEEKS BUT SANDY SOUNDS A LOT MORE SANDY NOW, hang on lemme pull up ep 2 i’m curious

ah hm and nope nvm relistened again, its like… y’know if you’ve ever gone on like a sound music app thingie like garage band or something and you up the tenor and get rid of some of the base, Sandy’s voice sounds kinda off that way, he’s more nasally and not as rumbly? HEY I’M ABLE TO ARTICULATE NOW LETS GOOOOOO

Anyway tho back to react lesgolesgolesgo

Mk, my lad, you are indeed moving from one apocalypse to the next but if it’s all leading up to destiny then i’m sure it’ll be like PSYCH IT’S BEEN THIS ONE GUY PULLING THE STRINGS ALL ALONG— or something like that that’d be funny

Hm, I wonder if the five coloured stones have a name like the Samadhi fire does.

W O O F (ouch) yeah some of the movements still make me feel like i’m sitting in front of my grandparents TV watching treehouse or something :[ It’s kinda like… it’s not bad its just very much used for a specific type of show usually and monkie kid isn’t that type of show to me so it’s claaaashing so bad AHA I AM ABLE TO ARTICULATE! Whaddayaknow the three week break did wonders for me actually we’re loving this YEAAAAAA

Wukong rubbing his head where the circlet is while he talks is MMHM <3 Wowza!!

HM! Tang sounds muffled! Once again i gotta go back and reply to understand what’s being said THIS IS TRAGIC THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME USUALLY MONKIE KID IS SO CRYSTAL CLEAR I HEAR WHAT’S BEING SAID RIGHT OFF THE BAT (only mis-hearing once in a blue moon) I do like how Pigsy is shaped in this frame <3

Sniffs. I was gonna say they are indeed reusing the samadhi rings plot line again of like, wow we gotta find this thing! but hey this time they don’t have a map! It’s different [winks at camera] LOL no tho fr it’s kinda interesting to see them using the same theme in different fonts. Like the goal is different, Samadhi fire was beat the lady bone demon and the stones is seal he heavens but it is a very similar plot to have so close to the other season. I mean there was a 1 season break in-between tho so PFF that’s probably good enough MOVING ON

Okay hmhm, Pigsy’s “what about the thing where” is super like muffled to me? And quiet, like they turned down the volume on his audio and then cranked it up immediately at the “WE DON’T KNOW WHERE THESE STONES ARE.” on second listen now that i know what’s gonna be said it’s not so bad, but it also just seems very kinda slurred together almost?? It feels like it was done in two separate takes and pasted together almost. I had to pause and be like huh!!! weird!! usually there’s a bit of a pause between Pigsy’s quiet and then loud bit to my memory, he’s done this kind of thing before but the audio volume is just so wildly different—might just be my version of the show tho!

Oof yeah, the music and audio of mk talking after it are wildly different volumes, and these are my good headphones WOUGH THIS IS BRUTAL

still chilling in the good vibes tho, fresh air does a load of good

Actually, fantastic plan mk, ask someone who knows, mind blowing for these guys, when have they ever— //j/jj

Is that how you say her name? NuWAH? I do it more of like a… NAHwah? maybe? ??? NeWAH HGLKJSDF

Mk and Mei getting hyped bless <3333

….tang bro you guys have walked through lava so many times by now I don’t see why you’re loosing your mind— GHL;AKSDJFSADF

they’ve cracked the code, if you want to distract Tang from doom spiraling just ask him to info dump and you’re good!! Still whatever with the visuals of that gag ngl but i do appreciate the verbal comedy

Okay, who do those highly stylish eyebrows belong too? Actually hello?? this might be my favourite frame in the show so far it looks so nice?? I LIKE A FRAME IN SEASON 5 LESGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“There’s always a temple”

“Mhm, yeah, mhm”

Yeah its like all the voices lost their bass, their growl, their RUMBLE. Nah the Pigsy Mei moment was cute tho bless

Tang. You have. Been around the Samadhi fire. Yeah okay trauma fire, without getting literal ab—TANG YOU LITERALLY SAMADHI FIRE??? THAT’S LITERAL FIRE PLS HGLK;SFJA;OWIEFM AND FAR MORE DANGEROUS THAN REGULAR FIRE??? MY GOOD SIR??? Priorities—

AHAHAHA Darn right, I know Ashe likes their “LEGOOOO”’s, fantastic that is becoming part of my speech un-ironically thanks to them HGLASJDF You know what yeah this feels like Ashe’s writing “Sounds like Tang’s on board!” yeah hGLK;SJDFSD

SANDY’S VOICE ALMOST SOUNDED RIGHT THERE

GODS WE’RE SO CLOSE [clenches fist]

That little transition noise had a good base—

Wow speediy AHAHAHAHAHA STAIRS

YESSSSSSSSS

Okay, Okay mk’s little NNOOOooooooooo…. was pretty funny hGL;KJSFD;LJSADF Bro just yeah, nods nods that’s how stairs feel fr :pensive_emoji:

The music kinda drowns out what Sandy says for a second RAAAAA

ALPINE SANDYGNL;DKFMSADF

nice

Why do you need a hook the stairs are right there—

Oh pls make Tang climb don’t carry him pls make him climb plsplsplsplsplsplspls PLEASE MAKE HIM AND HIS WEAK ANKLES CLIMB I’M BEGGING YOU—

Oh

Oh yeah okay good call actually I take it back teleportation is actually a good ideaHGKL;ASJDFSDF

AS FUNNY AS TANG CLIMBING WOULD BE

.

I feel like tang’s old man back would snap under mei—

DID HE JUST UYEET THATLGKMD;LFKSD

oh he can slip it back

CHEATINGLKSDMFASLD;MF

Cant’ use magic or tracking

….. AND THEN USES HIS CLOUD GLKMDFA;OMFIWEF

CHOKINGL;KSDFMASDF

ONLY TAKES MK

I’m telling ya man Sun Wukong’s one and only priority is that kid

…. is mk and wukong ditching the rest of the crew gonna be a theme this season— HGLKJASD;FKASD

TANG N O

TANG

NO

LEAVE THE PIG MAN ALOOOOOONE

DARN RIGHT YOU AIN’T CARRYING HIM TANG HE’S HALF YOUR SIZE— (not to say that I don’t believe Pigsy is stronk and buff ask heck but STILL)

The way Wukong keeps touching the circlet is a neat detail ngl I’m STILL salty about how it went on but its FIINNEEEEE

MK

W H A T

BROTHER HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CHEATED AT STUFF, TAKE ME BACK TO THE SKELETON KEY WHEN HE BYPASSED LEVELS IN VIDEO GAMES AND STOLE THINGS AND WENT ON A WILD CRAZY RUN WITH MEI?? I mean you could say character development BUT PLS WDYMMMMMMMM

Okay “LOOPHOLES BABY” is absolutely delightful and I will be quoting that for the rest of my life for no reason i just think he’s delightful

they almost made him squishy good effort wild brain ;-;7 i salute you

Ashe, I love your sense of humour—

“THIS PROVES NOTHING—“

Oh so the eyebrows are a BIRD ;-; ok i was like owaa new design? cool character? no :pensive_emoji: its a bird :pensive_emoji: that’s okay i’m sure the bird is lovely too ;-; TBF the bird probably would ave appeared anyways

Why is the bird growling HLGKJA;WOEFJSDF

Ooo fire blasts!

Isn’t shielding the fire using magic—?

….bro

CRACKS KNUCKLES

COOL YEAH IMPLICATIONS SINCE THAT WASN’T MAGIC EVEN IF IT HAD THE MAGIC SOUND EFFECT ITS JUST SWK USING HIS BODY TO SHEILD MK AND NOTHING ELSE YEAH I’M NORMAL AND FINE DON’T TOUCH ME

oooooo touchy wall, get pulled in, MK YOU’RE HOOOMEE <3 probably, I don’t know I assume Nuwa would be like wassup brrooo <333 since she’s the one who made him maybe its unclear still but we’ll worry about that when we get to it

Tilting my head. eh, no particular feelings over mk mimicking wukong ngl shrugs

Oooo Nuwa’s place looking a little worse for wear

Bro she’s legit a snake—

Just casually smashing things

Ooo OI TILTED ANGLE COUNTER GOING UP

Sniffs.

She made monkeys! :D Oh yeah and humans ig—

Oh come on don’t show me flying bark PLEAAASE I’M BEGGING YOU ON MY KNEES EVEN IF ITS TRACED DON’T SHOW IT TO MEEEEEE

Bro having flashes once again and going iTS NOTHIINNN DW ABOUT IIIIT

Okay big ol prophecy painting with the face scratched out that’s silly

HELPGKLMASFSAD

CLASSIC FINAL BOSS AESTHETIC HGL;KSDFMASDF

…..

Way to change the topic wukong

OH i kinda almost like how mk looks in that frame the “answers ain’t in this room” one its so close ;-;

Ig they both know who its supposed to be :T

Ahem okay so this is gonna be a prophesy destiny season alrighty cool cool cool

Sniffs. I feel like the coming down in a beam of light to people reaching up to him is probably misleading given the whole harbinger of chaos thing so maybe Mk’s like, how’s you say this… bam bam boom whack wowza rip the world ig :pensive_emoji:

WHO KNOWS

ANYWAY

Oh mk says “fair point” when monkey king says the final boss thing that’s funny OUGH I WISH I COULD HEAR AND PROCESS THIS IS KILLING ME A BIT

aw lets focus up ;-; i like him

STOMPY STOMPY

Bro those are traps—

MONKEY KINGS FACE GLKASMFSD

yeah

Mk’s steamrolling huh

BBQ’d 2.0

Indiana Jones’ing it MONKEY KING TAKING THE BR

SHUT UP HE LOOKS LIKE BURNT MARSHMALLOW WUKONG EVERYBODY SHUT UP TAHT’S MY DESIGN THAT’S MY BOY

bet you didn’t expect me to fixate on bbq’d wukong huh—

He’s just

on his cloud

MANYMANY DADS

HE SAID IT

HELPGLKMASFASDF

I’m hoping its dads and i’m not mishearing deaths hG;LKJSADF

MONKEY KING WITH STUFF STICKING OUT OF HIMGLMFLKSDF

Lava or axe’s nice

NOOO MK’S MCGUFFIN;SLDKFMA;OEFWN;AWENF;OAWG;KMFLASDMFS MCGUFFINS I’M CRYINGLKSDFMASDFS I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE ASHE YOU’RE FUNNY OKAYGLKMSFSD

Aw that’s cute

“three times actually” smug look at the camera

“first time was just the city don’t get cocky”

I’m liking a lot of the dialogue in this ep a lot more than the first two ngl feels more monkie kid but HEY ITS ASHE SO THAT MAKES SENSEG;LKSMDFSD

I love Wukong telling Mk this ngl

“look i don’t know how many times you gotta learn this—“

A lot monkey king

a lot more times— HGL;KASJDF

Seems like Mk’s getting worn down by the whole destiny thing and its probably gonna end up being something he doesn’t like or something

Monkey king: USE YOUR ABLITY TO MAKE CHOICES

Mk: :(

oUGH

OUGH

NAILING IT

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES THANK YOU ASHE FOR WRITING THE CHARACTERS I LOVE, THAT WAS PLAYING DUMB TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD DONE WELL WAILS

MAAAN

Sniffs okay okay

oooo STARS

FANCY

“I can sense it”

“What fr???”

that’s funny and also ominous

a lot of “i can feel it”’s going around here hLKG;JASDF

Bro fr i thought it’d be another map—

They’re goofy

Ohhhh OHH I get it, the bird is the

stone

yeah

that makes sense

stone bird

so all the stones are those creatures at the start

and merged together they’re that giant chimera freaky creature plus whatever snake guy lego set dude merged together

.

maybe

so stones together in fact busts stuff up fr?

AYO? WHY’S THE BIRD DOING A LADY BONE DEMON THING

OH THEY HOVERING NOW

Hi Nuwa

I’m sorry i never got to see flying bark animate you ;-;

OKAAAY I gotta process all that

So it’s definitely gonna be like a keep the universe from getting destroyed thing, but also probably a fake out of he’s meant to destroy it or something because PSYCH YOU THOGUHT WE WERE GONNA BE STRAIGHTFORWARD—or something like that final answer (its not my final answer i’ll come up with something better later maybe)

The phoenix sounds like somebody trying to sound Chinese

….

jurys still out on whether they succeeded or not

coughs

Mk sacrifice his existence?

Okay i do like the um… difference in responses from mk and wukong “—to save the world?” and Mk’s like D: and wukong’s like >:[ more like. feels like he’s going AHA YEHA NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN BRO— conviction nuh-uh kinda vibe maybe

SIGHS

mEI STILL SOUNDS OFF TO ME I DON’T WANT HER TOO BUT RAAAAAAAAA Save me guys take me back to when i wouldn’t notice this ;-; make me into one of those people who everyone sounds the same to or something (pls don’t i like being able to decipher voices) MAAAN good voice acting still tho, good yell, well done

Circlet used to keep monkey king down so he can’t save mk real?

Dang they really spoiling the end of the season here—well if it actually goes like this, mk never got engulfed in fire like the lady bone demon claimed he would so this might not even happen lol

“Your hearts have been measured”

Swk: OKAY FIGHT TIME BECAUSE AIN’T NO WAY I PASSED THAT—

Swk do you need to sit down and talk about it buddy? :( ?

And poof gone==oh those are pretty big

HA

Trial after all

True true mentor stuff still stands

hmhm no thoughts!

WHY IS HIS MONKEY FORM ALL EVIL SMILEY

PIGSY YOU DID NOT CARRY HIM

PIGSY

P I G S Y

Mk: [another crisis]

Okay no fr respectfully someone needs to throw tang down the stairs GET OFF MY MAAAAN

Swk felt very silly goofy in this episode

It does kinda feel like he’s helping Mk avoid what he doesn’t want to think about now, which, is interesting!

DID TANG JUST TELL DADSY TO MUSH

TANG W H Y

I GET ITS FOR THE RUNNING GAG BUT W H YYYYYYY

This is p interesting tho, this episode definitely felt more like monkie kid to me, it’s still just MAN is it missing the heart and soul flying bark brought and I’m still having a lot of trouble processing the audio to an almost ridiculous degree of the amount of times i have to go back and replay and not to enjoy a line but to actually hear it regardless of how much i have my sound turned up so there’s still some OOF stuff but all in all the gags on this one were good and my three weeks away have helped me put enough distance between the animation and me that i can actually kinda watch it now!! LEGOOOO

Next reaction ep hopefully coming sometime this week so until then KNOX OUT BABYYYYY

[ckret2]

Chapter 66 of that fic about human Bill but he's not in this chapter so forget about him: Ford and Dipper go cryptid hunting!

This is pretty much a standalone chapter so if somehow you stumbled on this without seeing the rest of the fic, u can just, read it by itself as a standalone Dipper and Ford adventure. It's funny. Promise.

####

The camera turned on to reveal Dipper, illuminated sunset orange and cast in heavy shadows, holding the camera out at arm's length. "Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, anomaly #175: the Fremont Nightwigglers!" He held up a paper title card in his free hand. "I'm Dipper Pines, and today I'm honored to introduce our special guest star—" he turned the camera around to focus on Ford from behind, "—the one and only Dr. Stanford Pines, PhD times twelve—"

Ford laughed self-consciously. "Dipper, nobody's going to recognize my name outside of a few highly specialized academic fields—"

"—the scientist who developed the Theory of Weirdness—"

"That paper isn't even ready for peer review yet, and I can't take all the credit—"

"—and the coolest dimension-hopping monster-fighting mystery-investigating great uncle in the world!"

Ford paused thoughtfully. "Okay, I'll take that one."

"Tonight, we're on the trail of the Fremont Nightwigglers." The recording cut to CCTV footage from a much higher-budget cryptid-hunting show (which Dipper had recorded by aiming the camera at the TV). The footage showed two marshmallow-like creatures that seemed to consist solely of heads, long legs, and feet—smooth, ghostly white, and featureless except for black eyes. They wore denim jeans that covered their bodies from ankles to waists, and their legs seemed to bend jointlessly, like an octopus's arms or an elephant's trunk. "These weird armless creatures have been seen up and down the west coast states, leaving behind a wave of jeans thefts at clothing stores; but by the time local law enforcement has ruled out any human suspects, the true culprits are always long gone."

The recording cut back to Dipper, who'd taken the lead so he could turn around the camera and aim it at both himself and Ford. "Based on investigative research done by Dr. Pines in the 80s, we believe the Nightwigglers have a migratory route several years long that passes through California, Oregon, Washington, and Canada. More research is needed to find out if they travel as far as Alaska or Mexico. Locals believe each Nightwiggler creates an individual burrow around a communal gathering spot to hide in during the day, and at night they assemble in the communal spot to travel or forage in nearby towns."

Ford threw in, "Based on what the townspeople told me about their habits, they've been in Gravity Falls much longer than usual. It typically takes them a week or two to pass through the area, but this year there have been sightings for more than a month. Perhaps we'll find out why."

"And thanks to a hot tip from an in-the-know local"—the recording cut to a few seconds of footage of Wendy proving she could do a handstand on the split-rail fence around the Mystery Shack—"we know which assembly spot they're currently camping around! Tonight, we're trying to get the first deliberate footage of a Nightwiggler..." Dipper lowered the camera and turned toward Ford, "Hey, what'll we call a group of them? A flock? Herd? Meeting? If we're the first investigators to officially document the species, we get to come up with the name , right?"

Ford considered the question. "What about a wobble of Nightwigglers? Since their legs are so... wobbly."

"Sure, that works."

"Is this really your 175th episode?" Ford asked. "I've missed quite a few."

"Ye—well..." Dipper lowered the camera. It recorded his shoes as he walked. "So far I've got a list of 175 anomalies I want to do an episode on, but I've only recorded and posted thirty-something. I think you've seen them all except the two I've done this summer." He sighed. "I'm... kinda disappointed by it, honestly."

"Why? You should be proud of your work so far! You're the only person in the world who's caught footage of the Hide Behind."

"By accident."

"Because you learned how to identify its call, chased it through half the forest, and were prepared with the right equipment to record it. That wasn't luck, Dipper—that was your hard work."

"I guess," Dipper said grudgingly. "I just... wanted to have a lot more produced by now."

"Wh—You started these last June? That's about one every two weeks. That's a very impressive output."

"I made most of them last summer, I hardly did any over the last school year or this summer."

"You've been focusing on your studies, that's good."

"Yeah, but what about this summer? All I've done so far is borrow some of Robbie's music video footage to make an episode about zombies and record some footage I haven't edited yet about Pacifica's alpaca thief. I didn't even get any footage of the haunted doll crane game before it disappeared. Most of the time I've been just... hiding in Soos's room playing Bloodcraft: Overdeath"—(under his breath Ford muttered "Blood-craft over death?")—"or hanging out with Wendy and her friends, or helping Soos with the Mystery Shack, or just trying to avoid..." He trailed off, suddenly conscious of the camera still aimed at the ground. It had started recording footprints drying in the mud after the recent rain: soft indents like the pads of paws, but with no distinct toes, about the size and length of human feet. Dipper lifted the camera to better record the trail they were walking down.

"Well... there's nothing wrong with taking a break during the summer," Ford said. "Especially considering that your last summer was... quite a bit more exciting than most kids'—"

"That's just it!" Dipper said. "Last summer I did so much! I investigated your disappearance, I filled half of your third journal, I helped stop the apocalypse, I wrote a book with Mabel about solving mysteries and doing fun stuff, I recorded like twenty Guides to the Unknown... Compared to that, this summer I feel like I'm—falling behind."

"Falling behind what?"

"I don't know. But—I just—I... feel like..." He trailed off with a frustrated sigh. "I don't know."

Ford offered, "Maybe, like you're not living up to your own potential?"

"Yes! That's it," Dipper said. "I'm not trying to grow up too fast, I'm just worried I'll grow up before I've done all the stuff I'm supposed to do now. Like I'm already running out of time."

"Hmm..." Ford let out a long, thoughtful sigh. "Dipper, I'm probably the wrong person to be giving this advice, considering that I'm not exactly... the paragon of moderation when it comes to pursuing professional ambitions. But—remember that you're only thirteen. Right now, you don't need to be worried about graduating valedictorian and starting up an anomaly-hunting show and doing groundbreaking research into previously-unknown strange and wondrous creatures," Ford said. "You just need to focus on graduating valedictorian first. That's all I did with my high school years, and after that I still managed to rack up multiple PhDs before age 30. You've got plenty of time!" He said this with the confidence of a man who didn't realize having his life derailed by a manipulative alien villain was the only reason he didn't burn out hard by 1984. "Outside of that, just... worry about being a kid."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. Thanks, Grunkle Ford," Dipper said. "I keep worrying, though. I keep thinking, what if I'm wasting all my time on stuff that... just... doesn't matter? What if nothing I'm doing is actually important?"

Ford was silent a moment. "That's... a very existential question for your age. How long have you been worrying—"

Dipper hissed, "Grunkle Ford!" He jerked his camera up. "Is that fire?!" There was a faint orange glow in the distance between the trees.

"I think it is!"

Dipper whispered, "That's where I found the Nightwigglers' abanadoned campsite last time!"

"Did you see any signs that they knew how to start fires? Remains of a campfire?"

"I didn't notice anything."

"It could be a Scampfire..."

As quietly as they could, Dipper and Ford edged through the trees, Dipper all the while pointing the camera toward the light, until they found a narrow gap between two trees from which they could peer into the clearing.

There were three or four dozen Nightwigglers milling about in little clusters. Several had lit torches—sturdy sticks with the ends wrapped in fabric—which they carried by sticking the ends of the torches into their jeans' pockets.

"Dipper, look at the tops of their torches," Ford hissed. "Is that shredded denim?"

The camera zoomed in on the nearest torchbearing Nightwiggler. "I think so."

"We already knew they wore clothing—but they can make tools, too? How advanced are they..."

Ford trailed off as the clustered Nightwigglers separated, spreading out evenly into several rings. As the camera recorded, they began emitting a synchronized muffled humming; and then they began dancing, kicking their legs and turning in circles together. "Whoa," Dipper whispered. "Is this some kind of ritual?"

"What's its purpose?" Ford whispered back. "Recreation? Religion? Some sort of cultural event—?"

"Hold on. I think I recognize the song."

Ford and Dipper fell silent, watching in silence as the dance repeated a couple of times.

The Nightwigglers were doing the Hokey Pokey.

"Fascinating." The camera lurched sideways, and then turned toward Ford. Ford had stolen Dipper's journal from out of his vest pocket and was hastily taking notes on a blank page. "I had no idea Nightwiggler culture was so influenced by human culture. An hour ago, we didn't even know Nightwigglers have a culture. When could they have observed and learned the Hokey Pokey? It's not exactly a nighttime dance—do they spy on humans during the day?"

Dipper said, "What if we learned the dance from Nightwigglers?"

Ford stopped writing, looked up, and stared at Dipper, mind blown.

Dipper jerked the camera back toward the Nightwigglers as they filed out of the clearing. "Hey! Where are they going now?"

Dipper and Ford waited until the last Nightwiggler had left; and then they quietly followed.

####

After several minutes of silence except for the sound of footsteps, Ford said, "Are we headed toward Mabel's Fault?"

Dipper groaned. "I got enough of this place last week."

"Agreed." 

"Hey, you know Bill said we should rename it 'Bill's Fault'?"

Ford huffed. "Did he really? I don't believe it."

"Yeah. He tried to play it off like, 'oOOoh, I just want creEDit—'"

"That sounds like him—"

They came to a stop as the camera spied the Nightwigglers standing in the clearing around the fault, then they quickly moved off the path into the brush and crept closer. "What are they doing?" Dipper asked as they inched up to the tree line.

"I don't know—they're packed too tightly together for me to see."

"I've got an idea. Hold this." The camera bounced as Dipper passed it to Ford, who watched as Dipper climbed up one of the pine trees around the clearing. 

"Careful! There aren't a lot of low branches that can hold your weight."

"It's okay, Wendy showed me how to do this." Dipper held out his hand for the camera.

Ford passed it up to him. "What do you see?"

The camera foused on Mabel's Fault. "The Nightwigglers closest to the fault are taking off their jeans, ripping them into two separate legs, and... tossing them in the fault? Have you ever heard of this?"

"Never."

"Like a dozen have done it so far."

"Perhaps that's why they have to steal so many pairs of pants? But why..."

Dipper gasped. Tiny Nightwigglers had begun squirming out of the fault, each wearing a single denim pant leg, crawling around like inchworms with half the pant leg trailing behind them. The bigger Nightwigglers picked up the little ones with their feet and swaddled them in the excess fabric. "They're—I think they're baby Nightwigglers! Coming out of the fault!"

"Amazing! Is this how they reproduce?" Ford asked. "Is that why they travel the west coast—are they following the San Andreas Fault and the volcanoes in the Pacific Northwest?"

"Maybe that's why they've been in town so long," Dipper said. "Mabel's Fault wasn't here the last time they passed through."

"We'll have to find out what other towns they stay in the longest. How far is Fremont from the fault line—?"

"Hey," Dipper said, "A bunch more Nightwigglers took their jeans off. They're tying them in a circle." One of the torchbearer Nightwigglers knelt down and bowed forward, setting the jeans ring on fire; and it was tossed into the fault. The Nightwigglers that weren't carrying infants formed a circle and began Hokey Pokeying toward the fault.

"That definitely looks like a ritual," Ford said, "but why? To celebrate the births...?"

The ground rumbled. Dipper gasped and slipped several feet down the tree before he caught himself. When he refocused the camera, Mabel's Fault was several feet wider, and a fiery glow was rising up from within.

An enormous Nightwiggler, fifteen feet tall, climbed out of the fault. It wore a crown of flaming denim and tattered pants formed by stitching together many pairs of decades-old jeans. The Nightwigglers bowed down.

"Good lord," Ford breathed. "What is that? Did they summon it, or—or was it always down there?"

The giant Nightwiggler watched regally as its subjects danced around it. As they spun around and completed another repetition of the Hokey Pokey—that's what it's all a-BOUT—the giant punctuated the end of the dance with a ground-shaking stomp.

Dipper lost his grip on the tree. He and the camera crashed to the ground with a yelp. 

"Dipper! Are you alright?!"

"Ow... fine, probably just bruised."

The camera caught Ford kneeling to help Dipper sit up, and then Dipper grabbed the camera again as he stood. He pointed it back at the clearing.

Every single Nightwiggler, babies and giant included, was staring at them with wide black eyes.

Ford said, "Uh oh."

The giant let out a bellow like a muffled hunting horn.

The Nightwigglers charged.

Dipper and Ford ran away through the brush, screaming.

####

Dipper pointed the camera at his face. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and his cheeks and arms were covered in small branch scrapes. "Still works," he reported to Ford.

"Great," Ford said. "That thing's hardy."

The camera jerked as Dipper tried to set it on a tree stump.

"Well, we got away with our lives," he said. "But... not without some losses."

He got the camera settled and backed up. He was wearing his vest zipped up around his hips like a skirt. Ford's trench coat was conspicuously buttoned up, and his legs were bare between his coat and boots. They both looked sheepish.

Ford said, "We've acquired some invaluable anthropological data, though."

"I'm calling this investigation a triumph," Dipper said.

Ford offered a hand. "High six!"

In the background, a skinny-legged Nightwiggler wearing Dipper's shorts darted through the trees.

####

(It's about time Dipper get a little personal attention. Hope you enjoyed and I look forward to hearing y'all's thoughts!)

[vivwritesfics]

Quidditch Thighs

Lando and Max have big ol thighs from Quidditch. Charles and reader show them just how much they love them

Warnings: Smut, foursome, thigh riding

This was requested by @norrisleclercf1 and it's just been sitting here in my drafts for the longest bloody time, i legit can't believe it's taken me this long nat i'm so sorry i've been thinking about this fic daily

She loved to watch her boys playing quidditch. Especially in the summer, where she could sit outside on the grass and watch Lando and Max.

They always trained together. Whether the rest of the Slytherin team were with them or not, they always trained together. Charles, too, joined in, but that was a rarity. They had classes at different times, meaning the time they got to spend together was rare. Rare, but treasured.

She read on the grass as she watched them. It was quiet, with the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs still in classes. At the bottom of every page she looked up and watched as they raced each other to the snitch.

From her position on the grass she couldn't see the smiles on their faces as they chased each other. At one point the stitch was long forgotten and they just chased each other .

While she was reading, several of her fellow Ravenclaws came and sat by her. "We get why you sit here now," One of them said, wearing a smirk.

"Huh?" She asked as she looked up, slipping her bookmark between her pages. "What do you mean?"

"Well," another one began as she leaned back, propped up by her palms. "Look at their thighs. I wouldn't mind taking a seat there."

She was incredibly embarrassed as she looked between them. "W-what the hell, guys?" She cried, holding her book to her chest. "You know I'm dating both of them, right? Like, you're literally thirsting over my boyfriends in front of me."

"At least we haven't said anything about Charles," said the third. "Even though he is so hot."

Suddenly she was incredibly uncomfortable. Her grip on her book tightened and she looked at the Quidditch pitch. But even that felt wrong, especially with all of the things the other Ravenclaws had said.

She stop responding to them and they quickly stood up and walked off, clearly bored.

Eventually, Charles came and sat beside her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he kissed the top of her head. "Hey, chérie," he said quietly as she leaned against him.

Her response was mumbled. "What's up?" He asked softly, kindly. That's how Charles always was with her. Sweet and kind and so loving.

So, she told him what the other Ravenclaws had said to her, how it made her feel. Charles listened, nodded along and kissed her head again.

"Want me to go, uh, have a word with them?" He offered and she shook her head. No, that would have only made things worse. Charles knew that, but he still offered, making her feel loved. "They are right, though," he said. "They have no right to say it to you about our boyfriends, but they do have really nice thighs. Really sexy thighs."

"Charlie, I know!" She cried, gently hitting his chest. "I know, but they our boyfriends. They can't say that about our boyfriends." The last part was said quietly, muttered as Charles pulled her into his chest.

He laughed and she smacked his shoulder. "Okay, okay. How about we go down to the dungeon and show them just how much we love those thighs?"

She thought about it. They had the password to get in (Max wrote it in the back of Charles's notebook every time it changed, and it would be a welcome surprise for their tired boys.

Slowly, she nodded, but it soon picked up speed. "Yeah, okay. Let do it, let go. Now, c'mon, lets go," she said in quick succession and pulled Charles to his feet.

It wasn't clear whether Max and Lando could see them go. They (being her and Charles) weren't to know that the boys stopped their quidditch practice the moment they saw their partners had gone.

Max and Lando didn't know why they didn't expect it, why they didn't expect to find their partners on their beds in the Slytherin common room. "Shit," Lando hissed as he watched them, tangled together, lips locked. "Did you guys want for us?"

She pulled away from Charles, his leg between her own. "We tried," she whispered and buried her face against Charles's neck.

Lando stripped himself out of his quidditch robes. He climbed onto the bed with them, gently pulling the two of them away, attaching his lips to Charles.

Max gently pulled her over to him. He sat her on his lap and stroked his thumb over her cheek. "You look so pretty," he whispered and kissed her. And, as he kissed her, his hands on her hips, gently moving her on his thigh.

Whines left her lips as Max moved her. He pulled away to kiss down her neck, his grip on her tightening. Where he moved her gently against his thigh, she sped up, gripping his shoulders. "Max," she whispered, eyes shutting as she rested her forehead against his chest.

Suddenly, a hand was holding her own. She raised her head, looked at Charles and Lando toyed with him. "What is it, Schat?" Max whispered against her neck.

She simply whined, and he had barely touched her.

The friction was getting to be too much and too little all at the same time. She let out a cry and tried to pull away from Max's thigh, but he held her there, held her still. "What do you need?" Lando asked as he looked away from Charles.

Breathlessly, she looked at Lando and Charles over Max's shoulder. "Touch me," she squeaked, breathlessly. "Please.

[undying-love]

Paul's grief over time: A Compilation

“During the session [in 1981] Paul fell into a lugubrious mood. He said, ‘I’ve just realized that John is gone. John’s gone. He’s dead and he is not coming back.’ And he looked completely dismayed, like shocked at something that had just hit him. ‘Well, it’s been a few weeks now.’ He said, ‘I know, Eric, but I’ve just realized." (Eric Stewart)

“It’s still weird even to say, ‘before he died’. I still can’t come to terms with that. I still don’t believe it. It’s like, you know, those dreams you have, where he’s alive; then you wake up and… 'Oh’.” (Paul, 1986)

"Occasionally, it wells up. Y'know, and I'm at home on the weekend suddenly and I start thinking about him or talking to the kids about him and I can't handle it." (Paul, 1987)

"Is there a record you like to put on just to hear John’s voice?" I ask Paul the next day. Paul looks startled. He fumbles. “Oh, uh. There’s so much of it. I hear it on the car radio when I’m driving.” No, that’s not what I mean", I persist. "Isn’t there a time when you just wish you could talk to John, when you’d like to hear his voice again?" For some reason, he instead responds to the original question.“Oh sure,” he says and looks a little taken aback. ‘Beautiful Boy". (1990)

"Also not obvious is that McCartney [for the Liverpool Oratorio] has penned a gorgeous black-spiritual-like piece for mezzo-soprano that intones the last words spoken to John Lennon as he lay dying of gunshot wounds in the back of a New York police car -- "Do you know who you are?" McCartney gets a bit choked up at one point when he reveals, "Not a day goes by when I don't think of John.” (1991)

"Delicious boy, delicious broth of a boy. He was a lovely guy, you know. And it gets sadder and sadder to be saying “was”. Nearer to when he died I couldn’t believe I was saying “was”, but now I do believe I’m saying “was”. I’ve resisted it. I’ve tried to pretend he didn’t get killed." (Paul, 1995)

"Paul talked about John a a lot, but the strange thing was that it was in the present tense, “John says this" or "John thinks that. Very weird." (Peter Cox, 2006)

“John Lennon was shot dead in 1980. That totally knocked dad for six. I haven’t really spoken to him a lot about it because it is such a touchy subject." (James McCartney, 2013)

"It's very difficult for me and I, occasionally, will have thoughts and sort of say: "I don't know why I don't just break down crying every day? […] You know, I don't know how I would have dealt with it because I don't think I've dealt with it very well. In a way… I wouldn't be surprised if a psychiatrist would sort of find out that I'm slightly in denial, because it's too much." (Paul, 2020)

"Like any bereavement, the only way out is to remember how good it was with John. Because I can't get over the senseless act. I can't think about it. I'm sure it's some form of denial. But denial is the only way that I can deal with it." (Paul, 2020)

"When I talked to Paul about John and when he missed John most, he couldn't answer me for a long time and his eyes teared up. And I asked him where he thinks about John and when John comes into his mind and he just … he lost it, he completely lost it." (Bob Spitz, 2021)

-------------------------------------------------

The following two are from the gossip website Datalounge, so they may or may not be true. Still interesting though:

"The one time I was ever actually in a room with Paul, zillion people between me and him (and no way I'm gonna bother him, all of us who travel in celeb circles have people we're fans of and all of us inexplicably try to hide it to seem "cooler"), he started talking loudly about himself and John, and how hard it was not to have him there. I remember him saying something along the lines of not a day passing that John's not still in it with him, but it's not like he can pick up a phone and say, "Hey, just needed to hear your voice today," and even when he got craggy responses, he still missed them. He misses it all, and it's bothering to him that he misses him more as time goes on -- it doesn't heal, he just learns new ways to bandage the wound."

“Since everyone is anonymous here, I guess I can give a bit of info I got from a female friend of mine who at one time worked as one of Paul’s assistants. [...] She does not know for certain if John and Paul were involved but she suspects it since to this day whenever John’s name is brought up he acts in her words ‘like a widow’ and he also addresses John in present tense. He would say things like, ‘John thinks that the music should be like this,’ and during his bitter divorce from Heather he was saying, ‘John says that this is getting nasty.’ Kind of creepy." (this one actually seems very intriguing because it sounds very similar to what Peter Cox said, about Paul often talking about John in the present tense, saying "John says.." or "John thinks...")

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Eleven

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Hey, eleven is here!! I can't actually believe it, thank you for all the love on this series! Means a whole lot. Glad to know some of you are enjoying it, love seeing the reactions too:) This update is another long one but we're getting closer to things finally falling into place!

Just a note for this part though, I haven't been to Detroit, nor the place mentioned in this particular chapter so pls don't come for me if anythings wrong! I tried not to go into too much detail and focus on a couple of pictures I found, but lemme know if anything really jumps out.

Also, we finally a Marshall POV, so hope you enjoy!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

Masterlist

Marshall’s POV

It was maddening. 

The way this woman had gone and switched up his entire life whilst somehow managing to keep everything looking the exact same. As though nothing but her presence had been added, and like nothing had really changed. 

At least not to the unaided eye. 

His mind had been in a tailspin from the second he’d first seen her though, that much he knew. The video of her had knocked him sideways, thrown him so completely out of whack that he couldn’t quite tell if he’d been righted ever since. But it had taken a while for that realisation to set in. 

It had dawned, obviously. He was nothing if not fucking perceptive. His brain wired so oddly that it had him realising shit before most people. But more importantly, it had his constant stream of self-awareness shooting through the roof. 

That in itself was an itch he never could quite scratch, had pissed him off a whole lot growing up too– especially the way he had. It’d gone and really messed with his head in actuality and so the older he’d gotten the more he had started to use all sorts of crap to just find a simple way to tune it out. To dull the constant tick-tick-ticking of his brain. To cope with the never ending thoughts. 

But then he’d gotten sober, hadn't he? And he’d been forced to fucking feel again. To psychoanalyse the years he’d lost, the pain he’d caused. 

It hadn’t been pretty, and yet, he was still standing. Still moving as he attempted to continue putting that same amount of effort into everything else that had been thrown at him ever since.

Her though–

Marshall’s tongue rolled out between his lips thoughtlessly, eyes caught on the studio wall ahead. She was something he hadn’t never prepared for. 

He kept finding himself telling her these– things. Inane shit, like how he preferred running to the gym and candy over fucking chocolate. But then it shifted and he found himself letting slip about the kind of crap that he hardly even let himself linger too long on. Like, Ayla. 

That girl was his world. Stood there right there alongside Z, but he knew he’d messed her up almost as bad as both her parents had. When he hadn’t been able to get his fucking shit together, when she’d be forced to see him at his worst, his lowest. Unable to do nothing but watch. ‘Cause she’d just been a kid then. And he knew that sentiment all too well, had lived through it too. He hadn’t never wanted his own kids to have to go through that, to see the struggle, to experience it and feel that same pain. 

It was the sort of pain that was truly unlike any other and he’d lived too long to not know that by now.

But he’d changed since then and he’d done it all for her. He hadn’t looked back neither, no matter how hard it had gotten, how much he had wanted to quit. ‘Cause he hadn’t wanted his girls to see him that way no longer. To have them stand by and have them do nothing but watch. To have to prepare them for the worst. To have them lose him too. All because he hadn’t been able to just pick them over the one thing he’d abused most. 

Elia. She hadn’t asked. Hadn’t even attempted to worm her way into his head and prod him for all these secrets he held like he was just some piñata and they were the candy inside waiting to spew out. No, he’d given them all to her. Freely. Almost without question. And that there was what scared him most. What fucked him up and messed with his head.

‘Cause that was where he’d gone wrong before, the first dozen times around. Trusting these women with their pretty smiles that hid their deceitful tongues and sugar coated their lies.

It was then that his mind flashed back to late nights years ago that he thought he’d long lost, to blonde hair and smudged lipstick. To some other girl’s bed, her dark eyes and keys to motel rooms. To Vegas and then Nevada, California and New York.

It was with those thoughts that he felt himself frown and raised a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose, wondering why he let himself get so caught up in the past, why he was now allowing himself to think about her the same way he had them. 

They were friends. 

She was here to work.

But that grating voice was in the back of his head again, questioning his fucking questions. His motives. Prodding at his every decision. It knew that he was full of shit. And he knew it too. Didn’t mean he had to like it though. Or admit it.

He scraped his tongue between his front teeth and revelled for a moment in the slight sting which followed, the tiny bumps that arose soon after. Then he huffed. 

She was a question in her own right. That was exactly what she was. He couldn't quite tell what that meant for him though as he found himself picking up his pen for the umpteenth time that night. All he knew was that this shit he’d written was as close to a fucking love song as he would ever fucking get, and he couldn’t stop picturing her the further and further the page got to being completely covered.

What he did know for certain, something he was evidently sure of, was that he was completely and utterly fucked. And it was all down to her.

––––––––––––––––

A knock startled me from the mindless state I’d fallen into whilst sat at the mirror, desk scattered with brushes and makeup alike, and so I only had a split second before the door to my room flew open, allowing a certain blonde to come sailing through, hair in disarray and socks mismatched. 

“Dad’s late!”

I blinked at the whirlwind that was Rosie before a laugh seemed to escape me, and I turned around in the chair just in time to watch the girl faceplant my freshly made sheets. “What do you mean?” I asked her, pushing myself to my feet and wincing at the noise my knees made– I would say that getting old sucked but my knees had been my biggest hater since before my early twenties hit. 

Rosie heaved a dramatic sigh as she manoeuvred around so that she could prop herself up on her elbows and meet my eye, none the wiser to my inner thoughts. “I went downstairs and he wasn’t there, right? But he’s always up and in the kitchen by now, guy drinks too much coffee if you ask me.” She explained, shaking her head at that last part whilst I rounded the bed to peer down at her with a bemused expression, hip pressing against the bedpost, “Anyway, I waited, figuring that he was just, I don’t know, peeing or something. But then I realised I was slowly starving and so I went to look for him.” 

My brows rose at the theatrics as well as the look she’d taken on, but did little to hide my mirthful smirk, “So I’m guessing you found him then?”

“Yup.” She replied with a pop, smiling sweetly, “He’s late.”

“Right.” I snorted, settling my hands on my hips, “That mean he’s up at least?”

The question earned me a somewhat evil grin, one that was far too prideful and full of amusement that it couldn’t have meant anything else. I shook my head at her antics but was unable to help the light chuckle that bubbled up my throat, the sound only seemed to fuel the chaotic energy she’d bounded in with. 

“Can we do something cool with my hair today?” Rosie wondered as she pushed upwards and bounced ever so slightly into a sitting position on the edge of the mattress. I was reminded then quite hastily of the conversation Marshall and I had shared the night before when she peered up at me with such an unfiltered expression of excitement. 

I didn’t dare let her down.

So I’d allowed the mini madam to drag me back over to the dressing table I’d just been using and procure me with an array of hair bands, clips, bows, and brushes that she’d brought in with her but left by the door. She ended up talking throughout the whole process, happy to let me work whilst she let slip about the candy bar she’d found to stave herself over with before she’d gone in search of her Dad– something which made complete sense now, given her mood. Afterwards, she then decided that it was an ample time to ask me a thousand and one questions, most of which I tried to answer as best as I could. 

Marshall eventually found the pair of us, still bleary eyed from where he’d been woken only a short while earlier but hair damp enough to note that he’d hurried through his usual morning routine, that and the fact that he’d come in smelling exceptionally pleasant. 

He paused in the door that had since been left open, his stare caught on my languid movements whilst I finished winding the remaining plait I’d started into one of the two space buns which sat atop of his daughter’s head. 

Rosie had yet to notice him, still rambling away so I shot the man an amused smile.

“Heard you had a lie in.” I found myself commenting once I’d snapped the last hair band into place, just in time too, because it was not a second later that Rosie’s head went jolting in the direction of the doorway.

“You’re up!” She exclaimed, exuding her elation in the grin she gave him. 

Full of fondness, Em still let out a scoff as his arms rose to cross over the expanse of his chest, a mindless action that brought me to note the form fitting tee he’d decided on that morning, a total contrast to the large hoodies I was so used to seeing him in. I couldn’t lie to myself about the way my attention caught on his forearms upon seeing it, the tattoos there, the few freckles, the vein that ran down the outer side and across his hand–

My head snapped left when a squeal sounded, dragging my traitorous eyes away from the man and instead to his daughter, who was now beaming in the mirror. My smile wasn’t forced upon witnessing her reaction, even with the freight train full of thoughts that was now rumbling its way around inside my head, and so I wasn’t all too ungrateful for the distraction of the brilliant grin she gifted me with before she was in my arms and hugging me in thanks.

“I love it,” She forced out in one giant breath, before tacking on, “Ana’s going to be so jealous!”

My gaze trailed its way back over to Em, who was looking pensive by the door, he smiled when his eyes flickered up to meet my own. “Looks real good, baby.” He murmured to her, the acknowledgement garnering an even brighter reaction from Rosie, who’s head turned to him at the sound of his voice.

“You like it?” She asked in that way that only daughters could, her eyes full of hope and all puppy-like.

Marshall’s mouth ticked upwards at the sight and he blinked slowly before answering the girl, “You look beautiful.”

Rosie was more than grateful for that answer, not just because it was a nice thing to hear, especially when trying something new, but because it was her Dad who had been the one to say it. She bolted across the room to fall into his side, only ducking away again when one of his hands threatened to come up and settle on the back of her head.

“Watch the hair!”

I laughed brightly at the squeak whilst she ducked under his arm to escape, levelling him with a narrow-eyed glare from the hallway, shaking her head at him. Marshall expelled a long sigh and raised his hands in a show of apology, but Rosie appeared exasperated by him all the same. She still smiled though before she shot off back down the stairs, calling out the reminder of breakfast to him.

Marshall pivoted in his stance, his tired eyes sweeping away from the hall to find me putting away all the few hair bobbles that I hadn’t needed. “I’m raisin’ a prima donna.”

Snorting at the analysis he’d since come to, I shot him a sly smile, “Hear it runs in families.”

I was met by a roll of his eyes, but the smirk he wore was evident. “I own it.” He acknowledged with not an ounce of embarrassment. 

So I dragged out a low hum whilst closing the dresser’s only drawer before I turned to him once again and made my way over. The pair of us exited the room together, Marshall shutting the door behind me before he ran a hand over the top of his head and gestured for us to start down the stairs.

It was as we reached the bottom that he chose to speak up, clearing his throat before he did, “Thanks by the way, for you know. Doin’ her hair and stuff for her. I know you said you would but, she ain’t the only one who appreciates it. You know?”

Glancing his way, my smile couldn’t be helped, not with how unsure and awkward he then looked. A total contrast to the ego he’d radiated not a minute earlier. It wasn’t something I was too used to seeing on Marshall and so it humoured me to no end. 

“I know.” I answered, choosing not to comment on his antsy-ness or the way tense shoulders then slumped a tad, “One less thing to fret about, right? Seein’ as you were snoozing whilst the rest of us were up and prepping for the day.”

Marshall didn’t appear to mind the slight ribbing, or at least I thought so until hip-checked me in the hallway whilst we were wandering after Rosie, the hit just hard enough to have me bumping into the nearby wall. My jaw dropped at the unexpected reaction but was still somehow delighted to hear his laugh trail back to me, watching the way his face lit up as he looked back at me from over his shoulder. 

“You were sayin’?” He mocked around a smug smile.

My glare was counterproductive, seeing as I was huffing out a faint laugh whilst simultaneously trying to right myself before I hurried to catch up to him, only managing to do so a second after he’d swept into the kitchen.

“Hey, seeing as it’s Friday tomorrow, can we take El out again?” Came Rosie’s voice, the sound of it drawing my attention over to where she was now pouring a bowl of cereal. Her eyes were stuck on the task at hand but they flickered up to where Em was standing by the fridge whilst she waited for an answer.

Marshall’s own gaze wandered over to me for a split second, roaming over my face before his attention jumped to the milk he had grasped. “Up to her, Z.”

And that, my friends, was an exuberant yes in the jam-packed book that cited Marshall’s lexicon.

“What d’you have in mind?” I wondered as I made my way past the girl to fill up the kettle that had since settled into its very own spot on the kitchen side.

“Some food, a movie maybe?” Z delicately suggested, eyes jumping over to Marshall again, the man slid the milk carton he held into her hand, before they moved to meet mine. 

Shrugging softly, I smiled at the idea, reminded of days I’d spent in the cinema near the old flat we’d lived in, the same one I’d snuck into countless times as a kid and then had taken Danny and Lottie to whenever home had gotten too much to handle. “Sounds good to me, your Dad has the last say though.” I quickly reminded her after seeing the way her face had lit up.

“Can we, Dad?” Rosie asked excitedly, her voice full of elated anticipation, practically bouncing in her seat as she waited for the final yes.

Em exhaled, his blue eyes trailing between Z and I, allowing me to notice how the morning sun caused them to appear almost transparent in the light of the kitchen. But it was all for show, because it was too obvious what his answer was going to be. 

“Sounds like a plan, kiddo.”

Hiding my triumphant grin, I turned back to the whistling kettle and filled two mugs, not even second guessing the action.

…

Messages  To: Lottiebug 🐞 Heya bug, msg me when you get out of school, wanna hear about your day! xX

…

Even with Marshall waking up late and Rosie’s evident sugar rush, the school run hadn’t been as chaotic as I’d expected it to be. We managed to make it there in time, in fact we had just a minute to spare which Rosie used to lean over the centre console wedged between the two front seats so that she could give Marshall and I a goodbye.

“See you guys after school.” She grinned whilst letting her Dad wrap an arm awkwardly around her shoulders so that he could press a kiss to her temple. She withdrew a tad from him afterwards, his hand shucking her chin in a gesture that was all too familiar, and then turned to mimic the previous action on me, a quick peck to my left cheek before she was falling back into the rear seat and opening the passenger side door. 

The action startled me enough that I could only watch her grin grow from where she then settled on the pavement outside, waving the two of us goodbye through the window before she bolted up the school steps.

I watched on, dazed but filled with a heavy warmth as she disappeared from view.

It was when I’d finally managed to drag my eyes away from the stone stairs that Marshall broke the quiet that had filled the car with an exaggerated “Ooohh.” 

There was a shit-eating grin plastered over the lower half of his face, the biggest he’d ever given me and it only added to the mix of emotions I was experiencing. “How’s that feel? You done levelled up!” He prompted, clapping his hands as a laugh expelled from him, thoroughly amused by my stunned reaction.

I blinked, but then found myself chuckling along with him, smiling widely as I attempted a little bow, only made awkward by the strap of my seatbelt. Em enjoyed it all the same though, especially when I replied to his dramatics with some of my own, “No, no! You’ve gotta take a picture real quick, this feels like a monumental moment.” Half joking, half serious.

He was quick with his phone anyway, pulling it out and flicking to the camera app so fast that it surprised me, what with being so used to his common annoyance with all things technology. He was still grinning away as he raised the phone a little higher and it took me a second to realise he was filming me instead of taking the picture I’d asked for.

“How you feel?” Marshall asked, his voice still buoyant, the smile he wore evident in it. It just melted me further, in truth. To know how happy his daughter's action had made not just me, but him too. 

“Loved.” I smiled back at him, eyes squinting with the strength of it as I peered into the lens.

“Someone alert the media!” Em crowed, the sound thoughtless and open, before he was leaning in over the console, wanting to get a close up of the cheek in question. I was blinded by the smile he still wore, catching glimpses of it behind his phone and arm, “You ever gone wash that shit again?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me in return before I closed my eyes and flicked my hair over my shoulder. “I wouldn’t dare! This has to top my night at the Grammys.” I overemphasised for the sake of the camera, glancing back at Marshall a second later so that we could both share another grin, him lowering the camera ever so slightly so that he could spin it back ‘round on him.

“Well, you heard it here first, folks. Tune in later to see if Z will up the ante!” He cheesed, putting on a voice that had me giggling harder before he was pausing the video and peering back at me with a sincere grin. 

“You one lucky girl, I swear.” He mentioned to me in a murmur, shaking his head whilst I dragged my own phone out of my coat pocket, raising it to capture my own version of the moment. “What you doin’?” He questioned me once he spotted it, but I had already pulled up Snapchat to zoom in and capture a quick photo. 

Em watched on as my thumbs typed away, writing a quick ‘Never washing this cheek again #Priorities’ over the top of the picture before saving it to my camera roll. It was just as I went to click off the app completely that he stopped me.

“You not gone post that?”

I turned to him with a look of bewilderment, eyes wide and eyebrows practically touching my hairline. “Are you crazy? That’ll spark all sorts of rumours.”

He just snorted, then levelled me with a simple shrug, cheek lolling against the headrest. “Fuck ‘em.”

It took me a moment to realise that he was being deadly serious. 

In reply to the silence he’d been met with, Marshall merely quirked a brow at me, almost as if he was challenging it. Daring me to follow through.

I stared at him for a long second before I let my thumb hover over the ‘Send to’ button, giving him the time needed to take it back. But he didn’t.

Thinking it over, I figured the most people could come up with ammo like this was that I’d likely been kissed or was just messing around with a friend about something, which wasn’t all that unusual for me, in truth. I had taken to posting all of the weird shit I saw when I was out every once in a while, as well as the odd picture with Lottie or a friend. So I didn’t think people would put too much thought into it.

Besides, I’d never been the type to back down from a challenge, so I added it to my story as quick as I could and then clicked the phone off entirely.

I tried to bite back the strength of my grin when I looked back over at him, but it truly was hard going, what with the way Em had given up on hiding his own. Still, I watched on as he put the car into gear and relaxed further into my seat as we pulled away from the curb, trying not to pay mind to the excitement which fluttered in my stomach.

“So where we headed?” I wondered after a minute or so, the radio playing low, Marshall nodding his head along to it.

He turned to spare me a glance, smirking now. “Tour of Detroit, baby.”

My brow furrowed on its own accord, thoroughly confused, and Marshall must have been able to read my mind because he let go of a breathy chuckle before he explained further.

“Gotta show you the whole city whilst you're here, right? I mean, you seen where I grew up, but there’s a whole lot more. Figure you’d appreciate it.”

Eyes wide, I felt my mouth drop open a tad and a flash of panic shoot through me. “You’re serious? We’ll get spotted quicker than a priest in a playground!”

My words were met by a short snort before Marshall shook his head, deigning not to touch upon that particular phrasing. “Came prepared.”

“Oh really?” I challenged. 

His mouth quirked to one side, deepening the dimple which sat adjacent to it. My eyes latched onto the small detail and before I knew it we were pulling off into a lot a couple of blocks away from Rosie’s school. 

Once the car had come to a stop, Em was quick to hop out so that he could make his way to the boot. He pulled something or other out, before he closed it once more and jogged back around to the driver's side door. He slipped inside with ease, carrying an array of items in his arms. I noted that he really had come prepared.

In his lap sat three hats and a hoodie. I guessed that he wanted to give me my pick of the lot and I wasn’t let down in the assumption, he handed me the hoodie first, one that felt as luxurious as it looked, and I peered down at it cautiously, but didn’t fight putting it on. 

“Don’t tell me how much this hoodie costs because if I ruin it, then that’s on you.” I told him bluntly as I peeled my coat off and pulled my head through the hoods opening. He snorted in retort and it was only when I’d rolled my hands through the sleeves that he reached out to drag the strings of the jumper into place, smiling at me in a way that made my mouth go dry. 

“Live a little.” Were the words he settled on before his attention shifted back down to the three hats he held, my eyes scanned over them.

“As much as I think the beanie suits you, you’ve gotta go with a cap to cover up all this.” I told him honestly, waving my hand over the expanse of his money-maker before I reached out to take the red and blue beanie. 

“What’s that ‘sposed to mean?” Em asked and I realised a second too late how teasing his tone had been.

“You know, the cap will help–”

“No, no, no, you know I was talkin’ ‘bout the beanie.” He reaffirmed, smile sly as he turned to use it on me.

I blinked, thinking back on what I’d said before it hit me. I felt myself flush a tad, but did my best to brush the comment off like it was nothing, “You look good in a beanie, is all. Most people do.”

Marshall blew out another laugh, it almost seemed to fill the car, even more so as he leaned an arm against the centre console to lessen the space between us. “This your way of sayin’ you’re hot on me then?”

I scowled, reaching out to press my palm against the side of his cheek so that I could push his smirking face away. “You wish.”

He snorted, eyeing the way I pulled down the car’s interior mirror so that I could fit the beanie to my head. When I turned back towards him, I was surprised to catch him already staring. He didn’t look perturbed by it though, no, he simply smirked, “Beanie suits you, too.”

Thankfully, he left it at that, picking up one of the remaining caps and placing it on his own head before he tossed the last of the three into the back. It was as he resettled in his seat that I found myself moving to fix the cap’s brim, tugging it a millimetre or so lower and centring it so that the Lion’s logo faced frontwards. 

My breath caught when I finally registered what I’d done so mindlessly, but Marshall didn’t appear to have minded it, watching me as I withdrew, his eyes caught on mine for a long second before he finally broke the moment, “Thanks.”

I cleared my throat and forced my gaze into looking out the front window, only nodding in answer. He started up the car again and it was as we set off that I struggled to find a new topic to break the quiet with. 

It wasn’t awkward, this quiet. Just prolonged, filled with an energy I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I didn’t know if Marshall even felt it but as soon as I spoke, I was grateful to feel it ebb. “You know, I love American cars.”

A line formed in the skin between Em’s brows when he chanced a quick look at me, “How come?” He wondered and it was with his words that I felt the rest of my body relax once more into the comfort of his leather seats.

Still, I shrugged lightly, gaze wandering over the car’s interior before it shifted out over the long stretch of road we’d since pulled onto, eyes jumping between the other vehicles that surrounded us. “Just bigger, used to dream about driving one of those old Fords when I were a kid.” I explained, thinking back to the ones I’d seen on the tele. “You know, they used to drive them in those older films, back in the 80’s and stuff.”

“What, like a Bronco?”

“No– well actually, those would be sick as well.” I mentioned, thinking about it before I gently shook my head, “But you know, one of those old four by fours? The big ones you see a lot of country boys driving.”

Em’s smile twitched in good humour when he shot me a knowing look, “Ah, so she’s inta dem country boys.”

I rolled my eyes, exasperated by the accent he’d slathered on but laughing still. “No, you idiot. I just like the trucks!” But then I had to pause and actually think about it, “Now you mention it though, those country boys weren’t all that bad to look at either.”

Marshall snorted, then hummed, “You know, I’m originally from cow country. Midwest way.”

Pensive, I let my gaze roam back towards him. “I figured you’d always lived here.”

He just shook his head, looking in his mirror before he switched lanes, “Moved when I was a kid, but was born in Missouri if you can believe that shit.”

I was unable to help my smile, oddly surprised to know that small fact about him. I shifted slightly in my seat to look him over better, almost as though now that I knew of the detail I’d actually be able to see it in him. 

“I don’t know much about it.” I admitted once nothing about him really changed or jumped out at me, “Is it like farmy?”

Shaking his head, he rolled his eyes again, though I could tell that it was in fond amusement rather than anything else. “It’s like any state, idiot. There’s cities, but yeah some fields too.”

Humming, I tried to picture him in some place like that. As much as Em fit into the life and soul that clung to Detroit and its streets, I could easily see him settling into a quaint house out by a bayou, miles away from any prying eyes and noise. 

“What’s the hum for?” He wondered, eyes trying to analyse the sound by the tells my face gave away.

I shot him a smile, “Nothing.”

He didn’t believe me, not for a second, but let it go seeing as we had pulled into a parking lot. I sat up further to look around, trying to spot a clue as to where we were at, my eyes widened when I found it. 

Belle Isle Aquarium.

I honestly attempted to not look too excited by the sudden prospect, but I’m not sure I managed it all that well. There was a time, when I’d still been little enough to not know any better, that I thought I could grow up to be a deep-sea diver, so fascinated by the ocean and its entirety. At break time, I would read all the books the school’s library had to offer on the sea and its many creatures, overwhelmed by the fact that it was so large and deep that we had only ever really touched the surface, that there was still so much there left to discover. 

I didn’t ever really mention it nowadays, but there were still nights where I fell asleep watching the odd documentary on the ocean, about the sharks that lived there or the reefs that hid beneath the water. I wondered briefly if Marshall knew, if I’d ever mentioned it in passing, but then brushed the thought away, figuring it to just be a coincidence.

The car rattled with the slight slam of the doors and it took me a second to figure out that I’d already stepped out to join Em by the curb. He was watching my reaction, it seemed, or waiting for it, I wasn’t quite sure, but all the same, I turned to him with a bright smile. “We’re going in?”

His smile was small but genuine, eyes hidden by the rim of his cap as he looked back over at the aquarium's entrance. Seeing the few people that were headed in and out, I figured he was probably scanning to see how we could slip inside unseen.

I sidled up beside him, watching too. “Do we have to get tickets?”

He shook his head, arm brushing against mine as he waved his phone in a gesture that told me he’d already planned ahead. I had to wrinkle my lips to keep from grinning too hard at the realisation. 

We stuck close together as we made our way inside, thankful for the lack of queue that allowed Em to flash a quick email to an older woman stood waiting at the entrance before we stepped inside. 

The first row of tanks we saw were illuminated all around us and as my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting we’d walked into they soon set intently on the glowing water held within them. There was a flurry of movement throughout and I was quick to step on closer, tracking the many fish that swam by, some brightly coloured, others almost mimicking the colour of the tanks floor.

I didn’t recognize all of the specific kinds I could see but I didn’t dare deny that they were all beautiful. It was almost mesmerising the way they all swam together and then apart, their actions thoughtless, simple. 

A little way down I spotted a group of kids, no older than about six or seven, and found myself relating to the way they pressed their little faces up against the glass, like they were waiting to sink through it and live amongst the marine life, to revel in that same simplicity. 

I felt Marshall slide into the space beside me and looked up to capture the way his eyes traced the zooming fish, before they soon settled on me. “Good idea?”

I blew out a breath, smiling. “The best.”

I gave up on trying to hide my excitement with that, reaching out to press my fingers to the glass, revelling in the few fish that came up to inspect the intrusion, mouths twitching ever so before they were darting off again. I laughed quietly to myself and then let my feet lead me further through the room.

I jumped from tank to tank, dragging Marshall along with me, not thinking as I grabbed his hand and pointed out all of the things that captured my attention. When we finally stopped by a wall full of guppies, I rattled off a fact without even noticing, eyes so caught on the tails that passed us by.

“So if they don’t have vocal chords, how do they make noises?” Em questioned me, his face screwed up in a confused grimace.

“They use low-pitched sounds to convey messages to each other, like rattling their bones or gnashing their teeth. They also use their bodies, vibrate their muscles against their swim bladder to mate or be territorial.” I answered him, eyes caught on the rapid array of colours. 

“The fuck’s a swim bladder?” 

His muttered question caught me by surprise and all I could do was laugh as I pulled him away from the crowd that had looked over at the unexpected sound. We ended up over by the blobfishes after that, something Em actually seemed engrossed by and the surrounding groups tried to avoid. 

“What about these fuckers?” He queried, leaning over to get a better look at the plaque that housed a picture of what most people believed a blobfish to look like. 

“They’re strange, it’s the pressure of the deep sea that provides them with their structural support.” I told him, bending down to join him in his stance before I peered into the tank. “They have little amounts of muscle and their bones are quite soft so that they’re able to live in high pressure conditions. When they’re brought to the surface though, they decompress. That’s why they look so different.”

“I relate, man.” Marshall mentioned to the nearest fish which clung to the tank’s floor. It made me giggle, though I couldn’t deny his words, Em seemed to thrive in high pressure scenarios much like the blobfish.

The further we walked, trailing through the large glass greenhouses the aquarium had to offer, taking in their shrubbery and vast amounts of evergreen, the more and more I wished that I lived in Detroit, knowing that if I did, I’d be here almost every weekend. It was beyond beautiful, made even more so by the blue sky above and the water which surrounded us.

Out of all the creatures the place had to offer, Em quite liked looking at the seahorses and made a show of rattling off the facts the aquarium offered in a mocking manner that made me realise how obnoxious I must’ve been.

“Sorry.” I offered sheepishly, chuckling in an attempt to hide the self-consciousness which had crept in, “I get carried away sometimes, but just tell me to shut up and you know I will.”

He practically froze at that, caught mid motion, but his stare was still stuck on me. My eyes flickered back and forth between his own and so when he finally exhaled I was witness to the way he quickly shook his head in retort, startling me slightly when he decided to drape an arm over my shoulders and tug me into his side. 

I did my best to turn my attention to the tank full of seahorses, even as he pressed chin to the side of my head and murmured into my hair, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

I nodded to let him know I’d heard, but didn’t trust myself to answer, anxious about how it might sound. Cursing myself for not realising that he’d only been teasing, not mocking.

“Mean it.” He emphasised, and I could feel the gravel of his voice just by my ear, the grate of it erupting goosebumps down the side of my neck. “I like how much you like fish.”

Scoffing around a light chuckle, I swatted his lower stomach in retaliation, glad to be back on common ground. “I find them interesting, you dick.”

He hummed thoughtfully and I held my breath as the sound vibrated down my spine, “Tell me more.” 

I did narrow my eyes at the demand, peering up at him to see if he was teasing again, but no. Marshall appeared as sincere in his ask as he had been with everything else this week. I licked at my lower lip, then turned back towards the tank, my voice soft as I regaled another fact off the top of my head. 

“They’re really bad swimmers, slowest kinds of fish, too. They have to use their tails to hold onto things so that the current doesn’t sweep them away, but they’re also the only fish that can swim upright.” I rambled, the weight of his arm on my shoulders allowing me to slump a little further into his side, the earlier anxiety melting away. “Seahorses don’t chew either, or have stomachs. They just disintegrate their food by sucking it in really forcefully.”

“Sounds like an ex I had.” Em quipped with a vague huff, before he turned more curious, “How’d they eat then? Gotta eat to shit, no?”

Shaking my head in exasperated amusement, I told him about their inefficient digestive systems and how much they have to eat a day to stay healthy. “They’re also monogamous.” I mentioned, tilting my head to the side to watch as a couple of seahorses floated closer.

“I see. These players ain’t fuckin’ round, know they only gotta worry about one psycho baby momma.” Marshall said and I felt him dip his head in a show of appreciation.

I had to snort at his stupidity, “You never heard that it’s the males that get pregnant?”

Marshall actually pulled away at that, hand coming to rest on the small of my back whilst his eyes blinked back at me, now wide enough that I could properly see them beneath the brim of his cap. “Ain’t no fuckin’ way.”

With a teasing smile, I reached out to pat at his stomach, “Bet you’d look so good, Marsh. Imagine the pregnancy shoot we could have for you! Paint your belly the colours of the Detroit Lions and everything!”

He slapped my hand away with a tut and slight shake of his head, but he was grinning even as I struggled to stop my laughter. 

It was as we walked away from the seahorses that Marshall ended up looping his arm over my shoulders once more, leading us through another brick archway in my favourite shade of green. We didn’t have to travel far before my feet rooted themselves to the ground, forcing Em into a halt too.

It was only when he glanced over to see the roundness my eyes had taken on that he caught on and chuckled.

Honestly though, it felt as though my lungs had forgotten how to function at the sight I'd been met with. “Those are sharks.”

“Astute assumption there, Darwin.”

“Sharks, Marshall.” I felt the need to reiterate, somehow managing to drag my eyes away from the extraordinary view to spare him a dazed glance. 

Only, I was taken back by the smile he adorned, it was one I’d yet to see. All goofy and childlike, as though he was truly enjoying himself and not thinking about anything else. But he wasn’t watching the sharks, nor the tank. No, his full focus seemed to be honed in on me.

He laughed, only strengthening that smile he wore, and the sight did something to my heart.

“What kind are they?” He asked me, continuing to chuckle quietly as he led us over to a corner of the glass that was free, most of the other observers crowding around the middle in hopes to lure one of the animals closer.

“Maybe a tigershark?” I offered, the two of us subconsciously stepping closer to watch as one of the smaller sharks swam close enough to flash us his underbelly. “Yeah, that definitely was.” I breathed out, blinking when I spotted Marshall’s face in the reflection, the way he was watching the water with a certain amount of reverence. 

“Damn.” He muttered when it swam past us again, tilting his head up to see past the brim of his hat. I watched him for a long moment then, the way the tank lit up his eyes, deepened them too, whilst lengthening his already long lashes. “I know a couple things about sharks, you know.” He offered and didn’t seem all that surprised when he looked over to see me already watching him, or perhaps he hadn’t noticed. 

“Yeah?” I whispered, prompting him on.

“They don’t have bones, right?” He started and at my nod, he smiled and continued, eyes flickering back and forth between the tank and me, “They’re made up of cartilage. Helps them to stay afloat ‘cause it's lighter than bone.”

I hummed in acknowledgement, grinning as one of the sharks swam over the rocky ground by my hand. Em reached out and put his fingers to the glass, breathing in sharply when the shark knocked its side against it.

“What else?” I asked softly, already so invested in hearing what he had to say.

“Their teeth,” He began, stare caught on the same shark that seemed to be circling its way back around, “They come in rows, so when one gets loosened or breaks they jus’ get rid of it and the one from the row behind moves forward.” He told me, pulling me in closer so that we could both press our palms to the glass, “Know that our teeth are actually a lot stronger than theirs too, ‘cause theirs don’t have no roots, they’re jus’ constantly sheddin’ them.”

“I didn’t know that.” I admitted gently, before I was chuckling at the same shark that nudged against the glass, right over the tops of our hands, “Wow.” 

“Yeah, wow.” I heard Marshall breathe in response, the pair of us utterly taken by the creatures.

…

In truth, we were both still in an odd sort of trance even as we wandered back out of the aquarium, only having decided to leave after a few people had started to glance over at us, murmurs starting.

I didn’t mind it all that much, having been grateful for the time we’d managed to lose track of inside, but Em had been quiet as we’d exited, having kept his head down the whole way out. 

By the time we got outside, the sun had just passed its midway mark in the sky and my stomach grumbled lightly. It was that which seemed to knock Marshall out of his solemn trance and he smirked as we approached the car again. 

Rolling my eyes, I flipped him off over the hood as I climbed in, earning myself a chuckle before he followed after me.

“Where you wanna eat?” Marshall quizzed as he buckled his seatbelt and started the car up, “Figured we might be able to get somethin’ here, but then people started takin’ notice.” His face fell into an odd sort of grimace at the reminder, but I waved it off, looking over at the aquarium one last time as we pulled out of the parking space. 

“It’s fine, I’m just really glad we got to go. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a while.” I told him honestly, letting go of another breath just thinking about it. 

It had been unlike anything else I’d seen. In truth, I didn’t think anyone had taken me anywhere so incredible. Sure, I had travelled the globe and seen the sea for myself, but it was completely different getting to just wander around beneath it all, to be able to look and just linger. 

Ultimately, the visit had meant a lot to me, I just wasn’t sure if Em had come to that same conclusion yet. 

“Yeah, me neither.” He said after a moment and I was taken back by the quick smile he gifted me with it. Before I had a chance to question it though, as well as everything else the trip had thrown at me, Em was handing me his phone.

My brow pinched when I glanced down at it, but still, I took it from his hand, figuring he’d ask me to grab his charger for him or something. “Look through the pictures, see which ones you like.” He said instead, catching me off guard.

“Uh, okay.” I replied, not having expected that but I guessed he must have managed to snap a couple photos of the sea life whilst I hadn’t been looking.

I turned the phone on and before I could even ask, Marshall was already rattling his passcode off to me, something I didn’t trust most with. I nodded anyway and quickly typed it in, smiling at the wallpaper which greeted me, a picture of him with Ayla and Z, before I then moved to click into his camera roll. 

There were enough photos of the aquarium, it seemed, for them to have covered the first few visible rows of his library and so I pressed on the last one and decided to scroll through.

Only, my earlier surprise grew larger and larger the further I swiped through them all. I’d been right in assuming that Marshall had captured quite a few shots of the fishes as well as a couple other creatures, but a majority of them were of me. Me standing by the jellyfish tanks. Me under one of the greenhouse domes, just the right amount of sunlight beaming in from above to make me appear almost angelic. Me grinning at a school of clownfish, nose practically touching the glass. Me stood over one of the open enclosures, marvelling at the stingray swimming beneath the surface.

There were dozens. Including one of me stood amongst the sharks with a slack jaw. That one made me chuckle, even as embarrassed as I felt, but then I swiped onto the next photo and my breath caught in the back of my throat.

It was of Rosie and I, the two of us sprawled out on the sofa, my hand in her hair, hers wrapped loosely around my ankle. It had so obviously been taken the night before when we’d all been watching that film and I was eager to take in every detail I could. 

I swiped again, intrigued now, and smiled at the following picture I was met with. 

Marshall caught my eye first, he was holding up the camera with one hand and was wearing that Kangol hat of his, chin titled ever so slightly towards the lens. His eyes were shadowed by the cap but the sun was still just high enough in the sky to have casted a warm glow over the rest of his skin. 

My gaze flickered over to it setting in the background, colouring the typical blue a blazing orange, but it was there that I also spotted Rosie and I stood by the roundabout. Her smile was big enough that it stood out even from a distance, but the camera only really picked up my side profile as I spun her around.

I guessed that he must have taken it that first day I arrived, when Rosie had talked us all into going to the park. I wondered if he’d let me have a copy.

Daring to swipe once more I didn’t expect to find what came next.

It was from outside the diner. The same one we’d visited days ago now, where Marcie worked and where Em and I had fought over the bill. The very same diner he’d admitted to being somewhat of a tradition for him and Rosie, a tradition he’d let me in on from the get-go.

He was obviously stood outside in the lot, the shop’s sign flickering in the top corner, but if you peered through the closed door you could once again see Rosie and I, and without thought a smile sprung to my lips, remembering the exact moment Marshall had snapped this picture because it was taken just as Rosie and I finished our pinky promise. You could see it so clearly, the smiles we both bared, the tangle of our hands, how I’d leaned in to level with her.

It actually stunned me to be quite honest. The fact that he’d managed to capture that very moment. How he’d also hidden his little selfie of the three of us at the park. And again last night, prompting me to wonder where he’d found the moment to sneak a photo without Rosie or me realising it. That, as well as the dozens of pictures he’d taken at the aquarium. 

I’d had my picture taken too many times to count. I couldn’t lie about that. It was one of the many consequences of fame. But never had I ever had a person do what Marshall had done, he’d made me feel like a main focus instead of just a topic, whilst somehow also managing to make me feel included, cared for, lov–

I paused that singular thought and reeled back.

Danny had gone through a phase of taking photos as a kid, but he’d been more invested in nature, the surroundings that he didn’t have to answer back to. Whenever he’d taken pictures of us, it had always been as a family and so it wasn’t too hard to spot all the wrongs there. The booze in the background, the joint in Mum’s mouth, our thin frames. I’d never been too fond of them.

Lottie on the other hand, now she was a part of this generation that lived and thrived off of selfies, so whatever photos there were of the two of us, it was usually always of her looking perfect by the lens and me a seeming little dazed in the background, having just been told to pose and given no time to understand what was going on.

These photos though. They made me feel seen.

They made me feel– just a whole lot.

“Any good ones?” Marshall’s voice cut into my thoughts. My head snapped over to him just in time to catch his gaze before it trailed back over to the road. My eyes lingered on him for a second too long and as a return for all those pictures he’d gotten of me, I raised the phone and snapped a secret photo of him. The afternoon sun was rolling in from the distance and it perfectly illuminated the side of his face. 

I blew out a long breath and smiled over at him. “Yeah,” I said somewhat breathlessly, “They’re perfect.”

[fangirlandtheories]

Do you remember when we used to sing?

Eddie is away on tour while Steve is taking care of their daughter a few hours away. Too bad she can't fall asleep without her special bedtime song...

--

Steve’s brows pinched together as the cries grew in pitch and volume, almost drowning out the familiar click of ‘Hey it’s Eddie, call me back or don’t, I’m not your mother.’ from the speaker of his phone. 

He had shifted from frustrated to desperate as he glanced over at their daughter, red faced and snot nosed. Bedtime was a solid hour past due and didn’t seem to be looming any closer. 

“It’s okay, sweets, we’ll call him again.” Steve soothed as he ran a hand down the toddler’s back. 

“Daddy!!!” She screamed again, choking with the effort of her sobs, as she squeezed her eyes shut. It had been love at first sight for Eddie and Steve when they had met Rayne’s mother. She was young, just turning 20 in the fall, with curly blonde hair and big brown eyes. She was looking for someone who wanted a baby that couldn’t naturally have their own and the agent connected the dots for them. After several months, little Rayne was theirs.

“I know,” Steve muttered as he pulled up Eddie’s contact again. Eddie had taken a break from touring after the adoption of their daughter but had recently started back up. It started off pretty well, the excitement of getting to have a Dad weekend with Steve pulling her through, but now the newness was gone and all little Rayne Munson-Harrington wanted was Eddie. 

Eddie usually found weekend gigs but had found a week long slot in a club in St. Louis that promised great publicity and even better payment, so Corroded Coffin hit the road and Steve held down the fort with some help from Robin and Wayne. They were obligated to babysit, she was named after both of them afterall, and he was grateful because work had been taxing enough without adding a feisty 4 year old to the mix. 

A flu bug was sweeping it’s way through Hawkin’s Elementary and it spared no casualties in Steve’s kindergarten classroom. He spent the day trying to keep the class from putting things in their mouths and making sure everyone washed their hands, sending a child or two home after seeing the greenish pale tints of nausea pass over their faces. He knew that he’d have to deal with kids puke at some point, especially as a parent, but he’d like to avoid it at all costs. 

“Pick up your phone you ass.” He hissed through clenched teeth, rocking the inconsolable girl in his arms as he dialed again.

***

Eddie first felt the familiar jolt of vibration in his back pocket  just after the first chorus. The second time was just a few verses later. He smiled into the microphone as he continued to sing, ignoring his phone. The third time was in the bridge of the song, a particularly terrible time to take a call as Eddie’s hands were preoccupied with his guitar. The fourth time happened in the final notes of the song. The fifth during the applause. Eddie frowned as he pulled the device from his pocket, ignoring a glare from Jeff.

“Hey guys, you won’t believe this but my husband is facetiming me right now. This is like the fifth time he’s called so I’m going to answer, everybody be quiet and let’s see how long it takes him to remember that we had a later show tonight.” Eddie laughed as the audience silenced quickly. Steve’s irritated yet grateful face popped up on the screen seconds later.

“Hey love…” He crooned with a cheeky smirk.

“Your daughter is very upset with you.” Steve ignored the affectionate nickname. 

“Why is she my daughter whenever she’s mad?” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Is she alright?”

“She’s been screaming since 8:30 Eds.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and blew out an exasperated sigh. “She’s refusing to sleep until you do it, that’s why I’ve been calling.”

“Steve I’m um…” Eddie glanced nervously at the audience in front of him. “Kind of in the middle of something.”

“Yeah I wanted to be relaxing right now too but our kid needs her dad and since he’s five hours away the very least he could do is sing her the damn song so that we all can get some rest.” Steve squinted at him. “You’re being weirder than usual. Are the guys there with you?”

“Yeah the guys are definitely with me.” Eddie ignored Gareth’s snicker. “Can I call you-”

“Edward, so help me God, sing the song so that she can go to sleep.” Steve interrupted. “Look at her.” Steve turned the camera to the distraught little girl and Eddie’s heart clenched.

“Hi angel, I hear you’re a little sad.” He frowned in solidarity with her as her lip stuck out. “No, don't cry, it’s okay Ray Ray.” She howled louder, tears popping from her wet lashes. He winced as he lip quivered, his resolve wearing down to nothing. He glanced over at Gareth, leaning over to whisper to him before looking back to his phone.

“Alright fine, let’s sing it, yeah?” Eddie placated. “You’re breaking my heart Bambi.” The wide eyes and long lashes practically gifted the nickname to her. He glanced back at Gareth who gave him a thumbs up before looking at the audience. “Daddy’s band is going to help him sing it, is that okay?” Rayne whimpered as she nodded, snuggled into Steve’s arms as he held the phone in front of her.

“Wait, are you on stage right now?” Steve leaned forward. “Shit, I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to interrupt the performance.”

“You couldn’t interrupt if you tried.” Eddie smiled. “Isn’t that right?” Steve could hear cheers from the audience. “We love our rock and roll family here and we honor our traditions, most of all the bedtime song. Ready boys? Sing along if you know it, our most honored guest is in the audience tonight and would love to hear you guys.”

With that, Jeff  played the opening notes on the guitar while Gareth tapped out the beat with the rarely used tambourine. The bass thumped along to Eddie’s singing, and though it admittedly wasn’t their usual style, the band loved Rayne like she was their niece and they would play anything to make her happy.

“-In the misty morning fog with our hearts a-thumping” Eddie held the microphone in one hand and the phone in the other, beaming at the smile on Steve’s face. “And you, my brown eyed girl.” Rayne giggled and clapped, tears still on her cheeks but sadness having finally passed. 

***

Hours and miles away, Steve smiled as he shut the door to his daughter's bedroom, the nightlight softly glowing, as he hummed the song to himself. Tomorrow there would be a series of tweets about Eddie going soft and videos flying all around the internet, but for now, and for the first time that evening, the Munson-Harrington home was quiet.

[yuri-is-online]

It's Not Going Away (First Years x Yuu)

The subtle, sweet scent of flowers shakes you gently awake, but to your surprise you lack the strength to move. It's like your entire body is made of lead and your throat is filled with sand. A vague memory of telling Grim you didn't feel well before... well you thought you were just taking a nap, but there's person holding your hand who would never speak to you like this if he knew you could soon wake up.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, angst brought by denial, technically sick fic? Inspired by the op to Horimiya, which can be listened to here (x). References for flower language were taken from here and here. If you like this feel free to check out my masterlist for more fic.

Rose, Great Maiden's Blush

"Seriously, what am I going to do with you?" The voice belongs to Ace, you'd recognize him anywhere, but it's strangely strained. If you had the strength to move you would slap him, but then you would need to let go of his hand. It's warm, comforting, a bit rough from basketball and tending the roses, and fills you with happiness. Ace would probably make fun of you if he knew how badly you wanted this, take away his hand with a look of disgust and stick out his tongue. "Just kidding~" That's how your dynamic has been ever since he first asked to crash on your couch, two steps forward into something more, one leap back into the safe zone. "You know I'm not always going to be around to take care of you, yeah? One of these days you are gonna go home and leave me, whose going to look out for you then?" He lets go of your hand and you want to scream for him to stay, but feel the fever settling you back into sleep. "You'll be ok, I know that. You don't need me as much as I want you to, so-" He touches your cheek, caressing it so tenderly you want to keep him there forever but he doesn't bother to finish his thought.

But by the time you are able to wake up he's long gone, the only thing suggesting it wasn't a dream a vase full of roses he's definitely going to brush off as lame. That's assuming he brought them in the first place, you have never seen these flowers in the Heartslabyul garden. Maybe you were just being too hopeful, you think to yourself as you lean your still warm hand against your painfully beating heart.

(if you do love me you will find me out)

Rose, Tea

"Hey don't you think you might be hurting the prefect?" The person holding your hand has it in a tight grip, but it isn't uncomfortable. far from it, you feel wanted, secure in someone's appreciation. That voice belongs to Ace, you think that makes the hand your holding Deuce, but he's refusing to respond verbally and confirming your suspicions. The silence fills the room for an uncomfortably long time, even for you, you're grateful when Ace decides to break it. "Deuce-"

"We're not doing this now." His grip on you hand loosens, but he still keeps it near. You can tell Deuce's fighting to keep his cool. "They ar-"

"You're always talking about the future like they'll be there." Ace snaps, careful to dull his voice but not his point. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind laughing at you two losers forever, but have you even thought about what your future will look like if they aren't there?"

"I can't. And don't act like you don't know that already." There's movement in the room, you think Ace tries to get Deuce to leave with him but he doesn't budge. He takes your hand again as the door clicks closed, moving to cradle it in both of his with such care it's hard to believe these are the same fists you've seen busting up jaws for breaking some eggs. "I'm sorry you had to hear that." he whispers, but you're unsure if he knows your awake or if he is just speaking to fill the silence "You can go back to sleep now, I'll be here when you wake up I promise." You have no choice but to take him at his word, settling into your bed and hoping you will have the courage to face each other when you wake.

(i'll remember always)

Spider Flower

There's only ever one. For his father and mother, for his grandfather and grandmother, so long as there have been wolves in the mountains they have only ever sought out one partner for the rest of their lives. But you aren't programmed like that, you said as much when the boys started gossiping about their preferences during that whole ghost bride event. "I'd like a soulmate, I just don't think I have one." And you meant it really, you were sure Jack would meet someone like him that would be perfect for him one day. So why is there a fluffy head resting next to you? Why is a tail draped over your legs, you want to believe protectively but you can't bring yourself to open your eyes and check.

"I swear it's like I'm in love with the moon." Jack grumbles into your side. "No matter how loud I howl you can't hear me and act like I'm not on your radar at all." That's not true, he's all you can think about sometimes, you just wanted to spare his feelings since it couldn't be possible for him to love you back. "Maybe I was wrong that I didn't have to worry about winning you over..." His tail wraps up closer to your waist and you try to snuggle closer into him. He'll ask you later, maybe when you wake up or maybe even later than that, but he has to ask. You might be out of reach, but that's only if he does not try. The flowers at your bedside have a specific meaning, he made sure to ask Vil for help just this once, though if the message doesn't make it through he supposes he can ask again.

(elope with me)

Alyssum

Warmth leaves your body as the person who has been holding your hand gently lets it go, setting it on your chest as he pats it and begins to hum an unfamiliar tune. The familiar shlick of a knife through an apple sets a scene you can't open your eyes to see, for someone so hot headed, Epel seems remarkably calm right now. "I wonder if it's ok for me ta look at you like this..." or maybe he wasn't. "I mean I have seen you sleeping before when I put you under my spell, but this is a bit different. Would be nicer if it was under different circumstances..." He pauses in his carving, studying you for any sign that you could be awake and poking your cheek a few times to try and wake you, pouting when you don't immediately rise. "You know I was really happy when I found my signature spell. I wanted to protect you so badly, and for so long I was convinced I couldn't. I thought if I could just get stronger, and taller I would be able to-" There's a weight next to you on the bed now, it sounds like Epel has put his head in his hands and resolved himself to stare you down until you wake up. "But I don't think you'll be around long enough for me to reach the point I wanted to before telling you anything." You manage to stir slightly, and are rewarded with startled noises from Epel that give way to disappointed relief when you realize actually getting up is just a task too much for you right now. As if he realizes this, Epel reaches out to squeeze your hand before returning to his apples. The strange song makes its way to his lips once more, but this time he softly gives it words.

There's a note left for you alongside the flowers, telling you to drink water and that there's a bunch of apples in your fridge that you absolutely have to eat. It's some of his best work he says and you can't help but wonder if he doesn't just mean the carving.

(worth beyond beauty)

Gladioli

“I’m not quite sure when I started to see you differently, just know I feel like a fool for my prior behavior." The letters hadn't been signed, but you had an inkling who they were from. In place of a picture every third one was accompanied by the exact same flower, you thought it was cute how well Sebek thought he was covering his tracks. It would be nice if he was the one holding your hand, but that couldn't be. He was too loud, if he was here then you would know. Even his unsigned letters were loudly and proudly him, mercifully free of praise for Malleus though they were. "You shine like dew on a rose, for your praise I go to lengths that surprise myself. Some say I am foolish, most call me single minded and in your presence I cannot protest those sentiments. Given your circumstances, it would be selfish of me to ask for your patience, but I must. I must ask for your patience until I can ask you aloud." You were content to be patient with him, if you weren't you never would have been friends in the first place. The person holding your hand gives it a final squeeze, though he pulls away slowly, trying to savor every last bit of illicit contact he can.

When you are finally able to move a familiar sort of flower around your room, once again someone is trying to be romantic and failing to cover his tracks. Once again he is refusing to face you, out of fear or shame you do not know. You gently pick at the petals, trying to divine just what it is you think Sebek wants to say, not just what you want it to mean.

(i am really sincere)

[in1-nutshell]

Third request since you opened them, I just have a lot of ideas. I was rereading the Bee's team meets megatons daughter with the opposite personality Buddy and it got me thinking. You know how Knockout, Breakdown, Steve, and maybe Soundwave? Couldn't tell. But you know how all of them switched side because of Buddy in that one fic you wrote? (Or maybe not, there's a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I dreamed that.) Imagine they all notice that Buddy's missing and there's a slight panic because yeah, Buddy can take care of herself but why wouldn't she tell them? They find out that Buddy's back on earth and now there are a few ex-cons standing at the scrapyard's gate. (Or maybe Knockout never left earth and already knew she was there? Because there's that one episode where Bumblebee and Strongarm are thrown into the car lot with the uhm, wheel cuff things, and it pans out to a very suspicious cherry red Aston Martin. I refuse to believe that's not Knockout. And since Fixit (I think, can't remember.) and the humans had to go and rescue them maybe Buddy tagged along and Knockout saw them? Buddy might've also seen Knockout and decided to get the wheel cuff off of him as well. (Or maybe he didn't have a wheel cuff, can't remember. Jeez, how much have I said that?)) Anyways this was just a really long ramble of an idea that can be taken multiple ways. So do what you wanna do with this.

There's a bit of an explanation on the timeline in here. If it sounds a bit confusing, feel free to let me know so I can explain it better.

Also, added a little extra in here...

Hope you enjoy!

Megatron's daughter with the opposite personality reactions from Knockout, Breakdown, Steve, and Soundwave finding out she went missing

SFW, Platonic, Romance, Familial, Cybertronain reader

RiD 2015

Going through the canon timeline of megs daughter.

Soundwave does get sent to the shadow zone through an altercation.

Buddy never finds out what happened to him.

She believes that he left Megatron during the chaos.

She was a bit sad that he never came back to talk to her or anything, but she also believed that he was taking some time to find himself after being a Decepticon for so long.

Knockout and Breakdown end up having joint stay between earth and Cybertron.

The pair loved driving through Earth scenery and was a place to escape Cybertron for a while.

Most of the Decepticons had started their new lives on Cybertron now that the war was over.

Buddy was no different.

Not only had she started a brand-new life, Buddy and Steve had recently become Conjunx Endura after a while of dating.

Steve had been on an away assignment for his work when Buddy left through the portal of their shared habsuite.

Steve walking into their home.

“Buddy! I’m back!”--Steve

Silence…

“Buddy! I’m back?”--Steve

Silence…

Steve starts looking around the home.

“Buddy? Buddy if this is another joke, I don’t like it!”--Steve

A few minutes later…

Knockout looks at his monitor seeing Steve calling.

“Breakdown its Steve!”--Knockout

“Put him on.”--Breakdown

Steve shows up on the screen.

“Hey Ste—”--Breakdown

“SHE’S GONE!”--Steve

Breakdown and Knockout out jump a bit.

“Gone? Who’s gone?”--Knockout

Steve has his servo on his helm.

“BUDDY! BUDDY’S NOT HERE!”--Steve

“Calm down Steve. Maybe she went out for a walk or something. Or maybe she went to go visit a friend. Remember last time?”--Breakdown

“…Maybe your right…”--Steve

“But if she doesn’t come back in a week then let us know.”--Breakdown

“Steve nods and hangs up.

One week later…

Steve starts calling Knockout and Breakdown.

Breakdown answers.

“Hey—Primus Steve!”--Breakdown

Steve looks tired and on the verge of a literal break down.

“SHE’S STILL NOT HERE!”--Steve

Soundwave, meanwhile, had spent his time looking for Megatron’s signal. He escaped the shadow zone a couple weeks before Buddy showed up, so he didn’t know that she was here.

Soundwave picks up on a frantic link between Knockout, Breakdown and Steve about Buddy disappearing.

He follows the frequency to Breakdown and Knockout which scares them half to death.

“Soundwave!”—Breakdown and Knockout

Soundwave stands there with his arms crossed.

“Breakdown—Knockout—Buddy?”--Soundwave

“We don’t know. Steve just told us she went missing from their home.”--Breakdown

Soundwave clenches his servos a bit.

The sound of a portal gets their attention.

Out pops out Steve.

“I’m here! I’m—SOUNDWAVE?!”--Steve

“Explain.”--Soundwave

“Steve is here to assist us on the search for Buddy.”--Knockout

Soundwave steps to Steve.

Knockout and Breakdown step to Steve’s side.

“He is Buddy’s Conjunx Soundwave. He has the right to be here.”--Breakdown

Soundwave freezes a bit hearing it.

“Buddy—Conjunx?”—Soundwave

Steve gulps a bit but puts on a brave face.

“Yes, I’m her Conjunx. A Conjunx that’s worried for her safety. We’d really appreciate it if you helped us find her.”--Steve

Soundwave pauses a bit and turns to Knockout.

“Continue.”--Soundwave

“As I was saying, a day’s weeks ago I was booted and taken to the yard where I saw this other Autobot get stuck there too, awfully annoying mind you. And then look who shows up but Bumblebee and his new crew.”--Knockout

“He has a new team?”--Steve

“Yes, and I swear I heard him say ‘Buddy’. I thought at the time he was remembering her from Cybertron, but now that she went missing, there is a chance that Bumblebee might know where she is.”--Knockout

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”--Steve

“Slow down Steve we don’t even have a trail on where—”--Breakdown

“Signal—found. 30—minutes—east—city. Coordinates on—commlink.”--Soundwave

“Now we go!”--Steve

Steve transforms and speeds down the road.

“…He’s good to Buddy. Their a good match for each other.”--Breakdown

Soundwave looks at Steve’s retreating form.

“Soundwave—will see—about that.”--Soundwave

It’s nighttime when they arrive to the scrapyard.

Knockout thinks about literally knocking on the door.

They hear Buddy yelling.

“Okay we need a good plan—”--Knockout

Steve uses Breakdown like a steppingstone and launches himself over the high wall.

“Or we can go in guns blazing I guess…”--Knockout

“Soundwave—approve.”--Soundwave

Breakdown offers Knockout and Soundwave a way over.

He could wait until they opened the door.

Soundwave and Knockout are now over the wall.

All the scrapyards’ alarms are sounding.

The team is on high alert when Fix-it mentions the Decepticon signals inside the scrapyard.

Bee tells Buddy to get Denny and Russel out of the area.

Buddy grabs her friends and sets on leading them to the other side of the scrapyard with Fix it.

Steve is dodging blasters and staffs like it was his job back in the Decepticons.

He is slightly hurt that Bee didn’t recognize him but then again, he does have a pretty basic frame.

Steve raises his servos in surrender.

“HOLD IT! HOLD IT!”--Steve

“Freeze Decepticon!”--Strongarm

“Hey! I said hold it! Now, I’m not here to hurt anyone—”--Steve

“I am.”--Soundwave

“Soundwave?!”--Bumblebee

The weapons get charged up and ready to attack.

“WE are not here to attack. Listen, Bumblebee, we’re just here to—”--Steve

“Where did everyone go?”--Breakdown

Breakdown and Knockout walk in on the standoff.

“Knockout? Breakdown? What is going on?!”--Bumblebee

Steve face palms.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to explain but everyone here seems to keep on interrupting me!”--Steve

Silence.

“Now. We came here to ask you if you’ve seen Buddy around?”—Steve

“Buddy?”--Bumblebee

The team immediately gets ready to attack.

“If you think we’re about to give her to you, then your sorely mistaken.”--Drift

“So, you do know where she is!”--Steve

Grimlock steps up front.

“And you’re going to have to go through me if you want her.”--Grimlock

“Fine by me.”--Steve

Meanwhile, with Buddy...

“I think we’re safe here.”--Buddy

“Thank the Prime’s.”—Fix-it

“AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!”

Buddy freezes.

She quickly looks at Denny Russel and Fix it.

“Stay here.”--Buddy

With that Buddy sprints back.

Grimlock had grabbed Steve and slammed him to the ground when he tried to get past him.

Steve luckily manages to get out of his grip and falls back.

Buddy is sprinting back to the main part of the scrap yard ready for whatever she was going to face.

She hides behind some used oil barrel and takes a peek at who the trouble was.

Buddy spots Steve on his knees, holding his side a bit.

She runs out of her hiding place.

“HOLD YOUR FIRE! HOLD YOURE FIRE!”--Buddy

Most of Team Bee looks in shock that Buddy starts running past them.

“Buddy! Don’t—”--Grimlock

“HOLD YOURE FIRE!”--Buddy

The team hesitantly puts some of their weapons down.

Buddy rushes over to Steve, who was frozen seeing Buddy there.

“Primus Steve are you okay? That denting doesn’t look too—Oof!”--Buddy

Steve fights the shooting pain on his side and flings his arms around Buddy pulling her incredibly close.

“Oh, Thank the Allspark you’re okay!”--Steve

He lets go to look her over.

“Are you hurt? Where did you go? Were you kidnapped? What’s—“--Buddy hugs him tight making him go quiet.

He just wraps his arms around her and stifles a sob in his throat.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know this was going to be such a long mission, but when Prime calls you, you gotta go.”--Buddy

“Excuse me when Prime what?”--Steve

“CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON?!”—Sideswipe

Team Bee is extremely confused.

Soundwave takes a few steps forward and Buddy launches at her uncle he hugs back surprising everyone.

Then she goes to Knockout and Breakdown.

There is a lot to explain.

Steve stays by Buddy’s side the entire time.

“Hey Buddy, who is… Steve exactly?”--Denny

“He’s my Conjunx.”--Buddy

Steve feels a swell of pride and love hearing those words.

Steve grabs Buddy’s servo.

“That’s still sounds nice, you know.”--Steve

Buddy smiles shyly at him.

“Your Conjunx!”—Team Bee

“How come you never told us?!”--Sideswipe

“It never came up?”--Buddy

“What’s a Conjunx?”--Russel

“The Earth equivalent of a significant other.”--Breakdown

“You’re married?!”--Russel

“How?!”--Sideswipe

Buddy looks at Steve.

“That’s a story for another time.”--Buddy

“No, that’s a story for now.”--Sideswipe

“Another time.”--Buddy

“Now!”--Sideswipe

In the end Knockout and Breakdown end up going back to their home on earth. They do offer their services in case something bad does happen in their area.

Soundwave decides to take some time for himself not knowing what to do with everything now that the war is over.

Steve decides to stay in the scrapyard with Buddy and Team Bee.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman- Part 41

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, January 27; 4:30 PM - Ona and Alexia's Room.

If someone had told me that one day my room would become a place where we gather to study, I wouldn't have believed it. Just a few days after starting in my new class, and I already feel completely lost. How did I choose this option? I never thought I'd say this, but... My mom was right about one thing: I’m not cut out for math at all.

"Hey, are you paying attention?" someone reminds me.

I sigh, rubbing my arm where Alessia just hit me. How can I concentrate with these subjects? There are way too many numbers!

"Can we take a break?"

"We just took one, you’re exaggerating."

I turn to smile at Alba, who chuckles behind me. She’s sitting on the floor against her sister’s bed since the two beds are taken by Alexia herself and Leah. As for Alessia and me, she insisted we sit in front of my desk to work under the best conditions. I sigh to show my discontent.

"Can we stop then? I’m starting to get fed up."

She studies me for a moment, probably wondering if I’m joking. No, I’m not. I really can’t take it anymore. My head is about to explode with the migraine that's starting to hit.

"Well... I can’t force you after all."

Her decision makes me smile, just like the other relieved groans. It was as if that was the only thing they had been waiting for since we got here. I’m just as happy as they are that Alessia is letting me off the hook. Lucy would never have let me off so easily, but I really can't continue like this. I don’t have the focus to study. My mind has been way too disturbed these past few days. The silence that had settled in the room is broken by Leah’s grunts as he stretches.

"It was about time, damn it!" Leah swears. "Anyway, I'm sick of working my ass off only to get crappy grades. I’m going to clear my head in the common room. Who's coming with me?"

"Great idea," Alba quickly replies. "I thought no one would ever suggest it."

I smile as I watch them pack up their things as quickly as lightning. Unlike them, I take my time. I’m not in as much of a rush to get out of here. The girls seem to agree. Well, Alessia is taking her time too, and Alexia doesn’t even seem to notice what’s happening with her phone in front of her and her headphones in her ears. The girls seem to understand our lack of motivation because they leave, saying we’ll meet up later. Now, it’s just Alessia and me. I turn towards Ale, who hasn’t changed her position, before turning back to Alessia again. She looks at me curiously before giving me a timid smile.

"Is everything okay?"

"If you say so..."

"You’ve been less cheerful these past few days. Is it because of classes? Or maybe it’s because of Korbin?"

I sigh and shrug. So many things have gone wrong in just one week that I don’t even know why I’m not okay anymore. The upside of all this is that I’m discovering, albeit late, the amazing people around me. I’ve always had Alexia and Leah, who continue to be sweet to me, but now they’re not the only ones. There’s Alessia, Alba, and all the others. I’m not doing well, that’s no secret anymore. I’ve tried to hide my emotions, but it’s become difficult, especially with all the sleepless nights I’ve been having.

"In a way... Listen, Alessia, I want to take advantage of the fact that we’re alone for once," I began, glancing at Alexia, who still seemed occupied.

"A problem...?"

"Oh no. Quite the opposite. I wanted to apologize."

She struggles to hide her surprise. She opens her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it.

"I misjudged you. We started off well, but I took your reaction to my orientation before Christmas break the wrong way, and it put me off."

"I noticed," she smiles sadly. "It’s okay, don’t worry. It’s more me who should apologize. It’s just that I’ve accepted myself for a long time, so I was surprised by your cold responses on the subject. But I completely understand your position."

"You have nothing to apologize for," I chuckled. "I shouldn’t have gotten upset that day. I don’t want you to think I hold a grudge against you, or worse, that I don’t like you."

"That’s not the case, I assure you," she smiles. "You didn’t have to apologize."

"It’s the least I could do. You’re still helping me with classes and all that. It’s really cool of you. I’m glad I ended up in your class," I said honestly.

Our relationship has evolved a lot over the past few weeks. The fact that we’re in the same class helps a lot. Alessia, who’s also an art fan, has the same ambitions as I do. Not only do we have a lot to talk about, but she also gives me the motivation to keep going. Without her, I would’ve probably given up on my studies. She’s far from being as good at explaining things and her methods aren’t as great as Lucy’s, but I appreciate her efforts to help me. What she offers is better than nothing.

"I’m happy to do it. I enjoy spending time with you."

"Oh, and also... I wanted to apologize for Mapi’s behavior on New Year’s. I asked her to stop, but she did whatever she wanted anyway," I laughed.

"What do you mean...?"

"Well... Mapi purposely stuck to me all evening. She wanted-"

I pause, searching for my words. I hesitate to be blunt. I sigh and shake my head. The answer should be obvious. If I want a healthy foundation with her, I need to stop avoiding things and be honest.

"She wanted to make you jealous," I finally said. "She thought you were interested in me and she wanted to have some fun. Once she gets an idea in her head, there’s no stopping her."

"She might not have been wrong," she laughs. "So she and you..."

"There’s nothing going on anymore," I quickly replied. "We’re just friends now."

"Oh... But you’re interested in someone, right? I’m sorry... but you and Ale talk a lot in code at the table, and that’s what I gathered... I thought you were talking about her."

I smile, sensing her discomfort. I had realized that she was paying attention to our private conversations. As much as Alexia tries to make sure our friends are occupied before she starts, she can’t stop mentioning Lucy at every opportunity. I really need to tell her to stop doing that at the table or any other place where we might be surrounded by people. It’s a subject that could put Lucy in danger, even if we never mention her by name. That’s not what I want, no matter how much I hate her right now. Alessia nervously runs a hand through her hair, giving me an awkward smile. She must sense it’s a sensitive topic. It is. Especially since my own friends don’t agree with my decision. Only Mapi and Alexia know, and they’ve clearly teamed up to disagree with my choice to distance myself. According to them, I’m intentionally hurting myself by doing this. They’re probably right, but what they don’t understand is that it would be worse to keep talking to her. I can’t keep developing feelings for her, and that’s what would happen if we picked up our relationship where it left off. I’ve had enough sleepless nights to be sure of my decision. Plus, my pride won’t let me forgive her so easily. Doing so would mean accepting our situation, and I don’t. Lucy needs to understand that. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. My eyes settle on Alessia, and I speak honestly.

"I... Yeah. I’m interested in someone, but it’s not Mapi, and it’s complicated."

"I could tell... I guess that’s one of your problems right now?"

I sigh and nod.

"Yeah, you could say that... One of many..."

Even with all the problems around me, this is definitely the hardest one to deal with. I simply can’t stop thinking about Lucy. I wish I could forgive her, but I can’t. I mean, what’s the point? If I did, it would mean she got what she wanted, and that’s out of the question. My pride couldn’t handle it, nor could my feelings for her. Despite everything I’ve been through, deep down, I’m completely broken. I just don’t understand her choice. I spend my time avoiding her, but I’ve ended up studying her from afar whenever we cross paths. I need to know if she’s at least a little affected by this situation. It’s hard to read her. Lucy is a very closed-off person here, in her work. She’s been even more so since our fight. I didn’t know what to think. I felt like I was seeing it because I wanted to believe it. It was my friends who made me realize it was true. They started asking me questions about her. According to them, something was wrong with Lucy, and they wondered if I knew anything. Of course, I didn’t say anything, but it made me question things again. I concluded that our fight really did affect her. I know she cares about me. It’s obvious, and she’s made it clear to me many times... Even now, she forbids me from going back home to Barcelona, thinking it’s too risky. But in what way does she care about me exactly? Did she really only expect friendship? Her decision should tell me yes, but her actions scream the opposite. There are so many reasons why she might not want to take our relationship further that I’ve stopped thinking about it. Now, I’ve reached the point where I can no longer deny that I miss her. Every day, I wish I could tell her about my day or just talk to her. However, I don’t have the courage to do it, even with all of Alexia’s encouragement and support. I know I’d crack, and that would ruin all my efforts to ignore her. Lucy is just waiting for me to give her an opening, but I won’t do it

"Otherwise…" Alessia pulls me out of my thoughts with slight hesitation. "Why don’t you talk to Bronze about Korbin and her friends? I’m sure she’d react if she knew they were persecuting you at every opportunity," she adds, making me narrow my eyes.

"I’m not going to tell her. I can handle it just fine without her," I replied, feeling defensive.

"The reason I’m saying this is because Lucy is known for being fair. She’d definitely defend you if she knew you were in this situation."

"I don’t care."

"Besides, you two seem close… I imagine she’d want to know."

"Alessia, that’s enough," I said sharply. "I’m not going to change my mind."

Groaning interrupts our conversation, which was on the verge of taking a bad turn. We turn to look at Alexia, who’s now sitting up and staring at us. I had completely forgotten about her for a moment. She removes her headphones and starts speaking.

"What? Do I have something on my face that makes you stare at me like that?"

"No," I giggled.

"I’m going to join the others downstairs," Alessia announces, standing up. "I suppose we’ll meet at the dining hall?"

I nod gently, glancing at Alexia, who doesn’t seem eager to leave either. There’s a heavy silence when the door slams shut behind Alessia. I sigh, relieved to finally be able to occupy myself freely. I stand up to get my drawing supplies and then settle on my bed. It’s the best place to immerse myself in my new drawing, which I’ve just started.

"You know, I heard what you said to Alessia."

"Oh yeah?" I said, not taking my eyes off my drawing.

"Yeah. What exactly are you trying to do? Replace Lucy with Alessia?"

"Excuse me?" I frowned.

"Alessia will never measure up to Lucy. I hope you realize that."

I raise an eyebrow, trying to see if she’s really serious about what she’s saying. It seems like she is, as she doesn’t even blink.

"You should be the first to know that I’m not trying to replace her, just forget her. Besides, Alessia is really cool. She’s been helping me a lot even though I behaved badly towards her. The least I could do was apologize and be honest with her."

Her features soften at my response. She seems to realize that she got worked up for nothing. I’m indeed starting to appreciate Alessia, but certainly not in the way she thinks. Even though Alessia may have said she likes me, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s not the one I’m interested in. Ever since I’ve known Lucy, she’s given me the impression that she’s the only one who can truly fulfill me. She understands me like no one ever has, and she’s always been able to meet my expectations. The fact that Alexia thought I was using Alessia irritates me a bit. I’m not that kind of person. It’s even more surprising that she keeps defending my supervisor. It’s not like she adores her—in fact, quite the opposite. Things were always tense between them.

"I’m sorry," she sighs. "It’s just that I don’t understand you. I’ve never seen you this down, and it annoys me that you keep ignoring Lucy. It’s good that you apologized to Alessia, but we both know that neither she, nor I, nor anyone else can be there for you like Lucy is, and we can’t help you the way she does."

"You really need to stop talking to Mapi," I raised an eyebrow.

"I’m not talking to her…"

I challenge her to contradict me again, but she just rolls her eyes in response.

"Okay, fine. Maybe I do talk to her, but I can’t help it. She asks me to take care of you since she’s not around to do it," she defends herself. "You have no idea how crazy she drives me because she’s convinced you’re not telling her everything."

It’s my turn to roll my eyes, recognizing my best friend in that behavior. When she realizes she won’t get anything more out of me, she turns to others, thinking she’ll get more information from them. Unfortunately for her, I anticipated her reaction. I knew she and Alexia would team up against me. They had already started by insisting separately to get more details on how I’m feeling. As a result, I simply reduced what I say, making sure to reassure them while not saying exactly the same thing to each of them, so they’d have something to discuss together. They don’t seem to understand that I’m grown up enough to take care of myself.

"Talking to me constantly about Lucy isn’t going to make me feel better, you know. You can pass that message along to Mapi. She keeps talking to me about it too."

"And you think drawing her is going to help you, maybe?" she teases.

My hand freezes over the sheet where I’ve indeed drawn my supervisor while she was Sleeping. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. Well, it looks like she’s got a point. I can’t help it if I’m still having sleepless nights. It was one night when I still couldn’t fall asleep, and unlike usual, she had ended up sleeping on her back. She looked so peaceful, and I found her so beautiful that I couldn’t resist grabbing a sheet of paper and a pencil from my school supplies. It was the first night I was able to fall asleep because drawing her had calmed me down.

"I… No. It’s personal torture, I suppose."

I glance at Alexia, who grimaces at my response. What else could it mean, after all? She groans in frustration before getting up from her bed.

"Come on, move over and get that drawing out of my sight."

I shift over to make room for her and take the opportunity to place my drawing materials on the floor. I barely have time to sit back up when Alexia opens her arm to me. I groan, knowing exactly how this is going to end if I get into this position.

"No," I replied.

"That wasn’t a question. Come here."

I sigh as I settle into her arms. Surprisingly, she doesn’t speak. Usually, she pushes me to my limits and lectures me until I pour my heart out. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to cry in front of her this week. I often end up with puffy eyes that I have to hide in the shower when I get back so that Lucy doesn’t notice. So far, my plan has always worked. Maybe she does notice and chooses not to say anything, fearing it might lead to an argument. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. Today, however, it’s different. Alexia simply hugs me, resting her head against mine. I take advantage of this embrace, which is rarely this calm. We stay in that position for a long time without speaking, as she gently strokes my hair. Exhaustion overwhelms me, and before I can react, my eyes close.

Wednesday, January 27; 7:30 PM - Dining Hall.

We’ve just joined our friends in the dining hall. We arrived later than usual because of me. Alexia’s cuddles did me in, which is quite surprising. I still find it hard to believe, knowing how little can actually get me to sleep these days. Her intention was for me to rest, and I have to say she succeeded. I slept for two long hours, during which she took the opportunity to tidy up all my stuff. No one but her realized how much I needed it. Our friends were already at the table and had eaten without us, but they were kind enough to wait. I half-heartedly start on my meal once we’re seated. I’ve lost my appetite, and I know that’s not good. I don’t know how many pounds I’ve lost since I’ve been at this school, but definitely more than I needed to lose.

"Hey, aren’t you eating?" Alba asks me.

"I am, I am…" I say, bringing a forkful of mashed carrots to my mouth.

Tonight’s meal isn’t anything special. They’ve made better meals before, and certainly more appetizing ones. I scan the room, not paying attention to the conversations happening around the table. I think they’re talking about classes, but I’m not sure. My first reflex is to look across the room, where Lucy and Ingrid are sitting. I’m surprised to catch her staring at me, but I quickly avert my eyes to the rest of the room. Some students are still present, but others have already left the dining hall to go about their evening activities.

I focus on the second person in the room who’s staring at me: Korbin. That girl has a serious problem. She and her friends have targeted me for some unknown reason. For now, I’m only dealing with a few snide remarks when I cross paths with them, but they’re getting nastier. I still don’t understand what she has against me. The worst part is that she’s started to drag her friends into it. I’m really glad I have my own friends to defend me when they’re around. Especially Alba. I’ve never seen her so attentive since she found out

what was happening. According to my sources, which is none other than her sister, Leah told her after figuring out what was going on from the increasing number of snide remarks in class.

I sigh as I take another bite. I really have no luck in life. On top of that, there’s everything else happening at the same time—it’s crazy. I glance back at Lucy’s table. I’m surprised to see it empty so quickly, without having noticed anything. Usually, I always notice when she leaves the dining hall. I sigh, lowering my head. At least that saves me from stealing any more glances at her during my meal. I was about to start a conversation with Alexia, but a hand on my shoulder interrupts me.

I’m surprised to find Lucy standing behind me when I turn to see who it was. Her expression is unreadable. She’s gone back to being very detached, and I don’t particularly like it. It’s as if we’ve gone back to our early days, where only the rules mattered to her. Well, I’ve been asking for her to behave this way towards me. I’ve been ignoring her since we had our talk in the restroom. Our eyes meet, but she doesn’t react. Her hand on my shoulder hasn’t moved either.

“Is there a problem?” I ask.

“Go straight to your room after dinner.”

I narrow my eyes, understanding what she means by that. She wants me to meet her as soon as I get out of here. I close my eyes for a moment before reopening them, anchoring my gaze in hers.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re exhausted.”

“And why is that any of your business?” I say through clenched teeth. “I don’t need you to manage my sleep schedule.”

She narrows her eyes at my response, which clearly doesn’t sit well with her. Her expression grows even colder.

“There’s no room for negotiation. I’m your superior, and that’s an order. If you don’t listen, I won’t hesitate to punish you.”

Her words surprise me, though I don’t let it show. It’s the first time she’s used her status to get what she wants. She’s asked me several times to come back to her room earlier, but I’ve never listened until now. It seems she’s found another way to get her way.

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” she taunts.

This can’t be real. Where’s this sudden change in behavior coming from? I can tell her question has a double meaning. I can’t even deny it. Deep down, I’ve only been distant in hopes she’d change her mind. It seems to have had the opposite effect on her. Here she is, back to being my superior. I’m irritated that she’s toying with me like this. It just gives me more reason to distance myself from her. I sigh, forcing myself not to get any more upset than I already am.

“I’ll go to my room, Commander,” I reply coldly.

“Good. You have thirty minutes, not a minute more. If I don’t see you, I’ll come get you, and it won’t be good for you.”

“The message is clear, Bronze.”

The unsettling coldness in my voice surprises even me. Lucy nods slightly and leaves without another word. She heads toward the exit, where I notice Ingrid waiting by the door. When she sees me watching, she offers a sympathetic smile, as if she knows what just happened. I return the smile before turning my attention back to the table.

“Things don’t seem to be going well between you two,” comments Alba.

“No, they’re not,” I sigh. “You were right about one thing—she’s become a real pain.”

“You think? She seems to be worried about you,” Leah replies, raising an eyebrow.

“She’s too stubborn to realize it,” Alexia retorts.

“Are you done?” I growl, shooting a particularly sharp look at Ale.

She shrugs indifferently, as if my look doesn’t matter to her. I really feel like leaving the table and isolating myself, but that would mean going back to Lucy’s room even earlier. I don’t particularly want to give her that satisfaction, though I take her threats very seriously. She’d be capable of sending me to bed without a shower and punishing me first thing tomorrow morning. I’m exasperated just thinking about it. I force myself to finish my meal, taking my time. I’m the last to finish.

The others have taken the trouble to wait for me. Even so, they’re the first to leave the table when they see my empty plate. That works out for me, as I’d like to head straight to the educators’ dormitory. That’s exactly what I manage to do. The group has gone ahead to return to the common room. They know I’ve been ordered to go to “my” room. The only person who stays with me is Alexia, as always. She walks with me up to the door of the educators’ dormitory. We haven’t spoken since earlier, but at least it’s helped to calm our irritation with each other.

“So, does their dorm look different from ours? I think you’re the only student who’s had the chance to go in there.”

I smile softly at her sudden change of subject. At least I won’t have to deal with any more of her remarks for today.

“No. To be honest, the rooms are pretty similar. The only difference is the bathroom is more modern, and the hallways are brighter and better decorated.”

“Seriously? That’s disappointing,” she pouts.

“I figured,” I chuckle.

“Ouch... I think she’s already waiting for you,” she comments, staring behind me.

I turn around to see Lucy waiting at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed. Her eyebrows furrow in displeasure when our eyes meet. I sigh, turning back to Alexia. I didn’t think I was late. Alexia laughs at my expression, patting my shoulder.

“Hang in there. Have a good night,” she smiles.

“Thanks,” I breathe. “You have a good night too. We’ll meet at the entrance to the cafeteria?”

“Yeah, like always.”

She kisses my cheek and then turns away. I wait until she’s out of sight before entering the building where Lucy is still standing. I walk toward her, keeping my head held high.

“I’m not late,” I say right away.

“Upstairs.”

“Oh, so you’ve decided to just give me orders now?”

“Yes, because it’s the only way to make you listen. Go on, upstairs.”

She nods toward the stairs with an expression that gives me no choice but to move. I roll my eyes and walk ahead, unenthusiastically. She irritates me when she acts like this. I stop a few steps from her door and suddenly turn around. Lucy had time to stop, maintaining a reasonable distance between us.

“I forgot my school supplies,” I realize.

“You’ll get them tomorrow morning.”

“It’ll only take five minutes,” I try.

“The answer is no.”

“Oh come on,” I groan. “Come with me if you’re worried I won’t come back.”

“I said no. Are you going to keep defying me like this? You know it’ll end badly, and you won’t get what you want anyway.”

“You’re such a pain,” I sigh.

“Don’t start again. Go on, move. It’s already late.”

“It’s only eight-thirty.”

“And you still need to take a shower,” she says, opening her bedroom door.

I enter the room, moving forward against my will. I turn around when she closes the door.

“Really?” I raise an eyebrow. “You’re letting me shower then?”

“Of course,” she rolls her eyes. “You have half an hour. Then, you’ll sleep.”

“Yeah, if you insist.”

I mutter that as I kneel in front of my suitcase, which serves as my wardrobe. Lucy’s room is so small with an extra bed that it was impossible to add any more storage. It’s very annoying to live like this, but there’s no choice since Lucy doesn’t want to let me go. I grab a new pair of pajamas and head to the bathroom.

“Thirty minutes,” Lucy reminds me as I slam the door.

I hate when she acts like this. She knows I can’t stand to disappoint her, even in this position. She’s lucky I don’t need to wash my hair tonight, but that doesn’t stop me from taking my time under the hot water. It’s the only place where I feel at peace, especially these past few days. I cherish the moments when I’m alone because they’ve become rare. I sigh as I turn off the water. I stay there for a moment, letting the water drip off my body into the tub. I get out when the cold starts to set in. I wrap myself in a towel and undo the hair tie that kept my hair from getting wet.

I stop in front of the mirror. I sigh when I see my reflection. I understand Lexa’s decisions when I look at myself now. I look awful. I’ve lost color, and my cheeks seem hollowed out. Clearly, heartache doesn’t suit me. I quickly shake off those thoughts, drying myself off before putting on my pajamas. It’s time to go back to the bedroom.

When I come out, Lucy is reading in her bed. Surprisingly, she leaves me alone. It’s probably because I’m going to bed without making a fuss. I lean over slightly to reach her nightstand. Lucy allowed me to store my phone here, and that hasn’t changed. The comment I’ve been expecting finally comes.

“No messages tonight, Ona.”

“Just a second,” I mumble. “I just want to check it, not reply.”

She nods slightly, keeping an eye on my movements. As I said, I just check my messages. As usual, they’re all from Mapi. I take the time to read them. They’re no different from the other days. She’s just checking in on me and wondering if the situation has changed. As promised, I don’t respond. I don’t feel like it, and at least I’ll have a valid excuse tomorrow night. I put my phone down and let my eyes linger on the ring in the drawer. It’s the one Lucy gave me for Christmas. I took it off after our argument. I used to play with it a lot on my finger, but I felt compelled to remove it because of its symbolism and meaning. Lucy noticed, of course. She didn’t see me take it off. I did it during the night, but the next morning, I saw her glance at my hand.

“It’s time to sleep.”

I look up at Lucy, who doesn’t seem to have looked away. I nod and I close the drawer. Without saying another word, I make sure to turn my back to her. I’ve realized that every time we talk, we tend to be cold and tense, and that’s definitely not what I need before going to sleep. I sigh, snuggling as much as I can into my blanket. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep as best as I can, but it's going to be difficult after the nap I took earlier this afternoon.

Still, just closing my eyes helps me relax. Minutes pass, and I start to drift off. I was actually on the verge of falling asleep when I heard Lucy get up behind me. I hear her sigh heavily, and a few seconds later, I feel her lips against my forehead. I have to fight against myself not to open my eyes at that gesture. She can’t know that I’m still awake. She pulls away but lets her hand linger in my hair.

“Sorry, Princess... I hope you can have some sweet dreams, for once.”

These words are only murmurs, but I heard them clearly. It’s when I no longer feel her touch and notice that the small light has finally been turned off that I realize she’s gone to bed too. Unable to control myself, a few tears slip from my eyes. Why did she apologize? I didn’t need that right now. I clutch the blanket as tightly as I can. That night felt really strange. Without being able to explain it, I managed to fall asleep a few minutes later.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Hi, I saw a post a while ago looking at the original Japanese version of Sebastian's "I have gone through great pain to cultivate you" that I just can't seem to find anymore.

I have a feeling that it might have been one of yours, but it doesn't seem to be in the masterlist and Tumblr's search engine is no help. Do you know if that is a post you remember making or have any idea where else I might have luck finding it?

Thanks :)

Hey, this was a great ask and I'm sorry for the delay in replying. I've been really low on spoons and wanted to be sure I gave this question the attention it deserves.

So I was not the one who did that post, so that explains why you couldn’t find it. But perhaps this was the one you meant? It’s a really long one and only talks a little about that moment but I figured you may wanna see it anyway even if it’s not what you had hoped to find.

But I believe that post is using a fan translation (or maybe a version from the monthly chapters and not the volume, and changes were made in between those two releases) because their English translation is not the same as the one I have.

And now that we’ve gotten to this moment in the anime too, I thought we could compare the different versions:

The original Japanese manga version

The translation used in the cited post

The official English manga translation

The official English anime translation

My thoughts on all of this and how *I* would translate it

So I thought I would take this time to go ahead and look at this section myself and give my own thoughts on the translation/what Yana maybe was going for here.

This is gonna be a LONG post, so buckle up.

Below is from the cited post, with the Japanese side by side the English version they used.

Let’s look at the Japanese first.

Japanese

Sebastian says in the original:

せっかく

育てて

きたんです

掠め取られては

たまらない

A bit literally, this is what it means:

(I’ve) taken great pains

to raise (you) / nurture (you) / foster (your) growth

(for you) to be stolen (away from me)

is intolerable

Old Post English Translation

I went through the trouble of

cultivating** it.

So I won’t let myself be

robbed* of it.

Official English Manga Translation

I have gone to great pains to

cultivate** you.

I cannot afford

to have him steal* you away.

Official English Anime Translation

I’ve gone to the trouble of raising** you.

I won’t stand for anyone snatching* you away now.

My Thoughts

So now you've seen the original Japanese, with a fairly literal translation to give you a sense of the core meaning of what's being said here along with 3 different English translations: a fan (or older) translation, the official English manga translation from the volume and the official English anime sub from Crunchy Roll (specifically; other anime sites may have different sub translations).

So let's first look at the part about Seb losing out on Ciel, the bit about something being taken from him.

The word that Yana uses is shown above, kasumetoru, which you can see according to jisho.org means to snatch or steal. We saw three different English words used for this: rob, steal, and snatch, all of which fit with the Japanese meaning. I'll leave off my opinions on what I would pick until the end. But you can see that you can't really fault either of the three translators for their choice as each works in the context and with the original intent of the word itself.

But what about the more controversial part? The REASON Sebastian can't stand to have Ciel taken from him?

Let's first look at the original word Yana used:

You can see it has three possible meanings:

to raise/rear/bring up;

to train/teach/educate;

to promote the growth of/nurture/foster/develop

Now let's look at the ways the three above English translations approached this word:

Both manga translations went with "cultivate," while the anime went with "raise." How well do these two words fit with the original? Well, let's look first at how the English word "cultivate" is defined according to dictionary.com; pay attention especially to the highlighted definitions:

Those three meanings all align well with the three from the original Japanese, don't they? OK. But what about "raise"? How well does that work? That word has over thirty possible definitions, so I won't post them all here, only what's pertinent, but you can see them all here if you're especially curious.

Only two align with the context/meaning intended in this scene:

As you can see, the first of these two, "to grow or breed, care for, or promote the growth of" is a synonym for "cultivate." The second is the one that the dadbastian fans are latching hard onto, but that isn't completely disjoined from a couple of the meanings of cultivate, and that does fit with the various Japanese meanings.

So who did it better? How would I translate this?

Translation is not a science; it's tricky especially when you're moving from two languages that are as different from one another as English and Japanese are. The way Yana uses layered meanings makes things even more challenging. Sometimes, it comes down to simple preference on the part of the translator. That seems to be the case here, as I cannot really say anyone got things "wrong," despite having three disparate translations for the same lines.

I think I would have translated it this way:

I have taken great pains to cultivate you; I shan't stand anyone snatching you away.

Firstly, I know the first translation went with “it” as in “Ciel’s soul,” but I think “you” is a stronger choice here, and it’s what the other two translators went with, perhaps since Sebastian is directly speaking to Ciel here.

As for the rest, I personally prefer "taken great pains" over "gone through a lot of trouble," partly because it's less modern sounding and to me fits the way Sebastian speaks. I also like "cultivate," over "raise," because I think it not only fits Sebastian's manner of speech better (and we know he doesn't want to be seen as Ciel's parent), but it also has a more immediate and direct association with food. Yes, we "raise" food (as we see above they're interchangeable in English in this meaning), but I think that when English-speaking people read or hear that word they think more about kids first.

While ofc Sebastian HAS raised Ciel—he's fostered his education, watched out for his health and made sure he can pass as an earl, etc.—those are means to an end. Sebastian's main goal is to eat Ciel's soul, which he has already spoken about wanting to perfect so it'll be the most delicious it can be. Thus, I think keeping that association while having us remember his ultimate agenda is why "cultivate" is a slightly better choice than "raise."

The bit about Seb finding losing Ciel intolerable is where we see the most variation in the translations, and that's largely likely because the Japanese only needs a word while we need a whole phrase in English for it to make sense. I like "I shan't stand" because it's stuffy and old-fashioned and more possessive than some of the above options, in my opinion.

I also decided to go with "snatch" over stolen or robbed because that's in the Japanese definition and since literally Sebastian was imagining Undertaker scooping Ciel up and taking him away, I figured it fit.

So you can now decide for yourself how you'd like to interpret/translate this section, and you're welcome to dislike my version and prefer one of these others, too.

However, I think anyone who latches solely on the "raise a child" aspect of the meaning here is not paying attention to the full context of the story, characters, and layers of meaning in the Japanese original.

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): nsfw, smut with a really interesting plot (?), kinda like dark yelena I think

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit smut, wlw sex, vaginal fingering (r receiving), dom!yelena belova, BDSM, mommy kink, squirting, kinda innocent r, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 3.8k

note: GUYS IT'S FINALLY HERE, I'M FINALLY HERE. I'm so sorry I haven't been posting, I just really didn't have time to write and I have so many ideas and requests, and it's frustrating because I really want to write them but I don't have time lol. I finally finished this one, to be honest I don't know how I feel about the smut part, I honestly need to work more on it, but hey I'm trying. Anyways, I hope you guys like it. This one's for 💦🍯 anon, I really hope you like it. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake.

note 2: I actually can't believe how long it it lol. Based on this request

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

Yelena felt everyday was the same as the previous one.

Wake up, pretend to be the happy wife and mother of a 10 year old child, take care of said child and fake husband, go to sleep and repeat the whole thing the next day. 

She was used to doing this kind of thing, that was what she had been trained for her whole life. Plus, she always had to be on watch, in case things went southways and she and the little agent had to make a run. 

But still, she couldn’t help but grow tired of the routine, constantly waiting for something different to happen. She wasn’t supposed to talk to her neighbours, the less people knew about her the better, her orders were just to play the lovely neighbour next door. But everything changed when you moved into town. 

She was notified of you arriving a week early. She was given a report of you, and everything in it seemed normal, a few fines here and there, but nothing more than that. She didn’t think anything of you, just another townie. But she got it all wrong. 

The first time she properly met you was the same Saturday night you had arrived in town. Yelena opened the door to you knocking, holding a pie in your hands. She was completely taken aback by your bright smile, it took her a whole second to function like a normal human being. 

She invited you in for a glass of wine, being the lovely neighbour she was. She introduced you to her ‘husband’ and ‘child’, and a few minutes later you parted ways. 

Long gone after you had gone, she could still smell your lingering scent on her house, causing a revolution on her stomach. She didn’t know what was going on with her, her heart began to beat faster at the mere thought of you, she felt her knees getting weaker and an unpleasant feeling in her core. 

That very same night, she waited for her husband and child to fall asleep, locked herself in the bathroom, and touched herself to the thought of you. 

The next day she made it her new mission to get to know you better. Because of her secret agent duties, she couldn't just approach you and talk to you. No, that would put you in danger, and Yelena couldn’t risk that. So she watched you, from afar, and soon it became her favourite hobby. 

Everyday Yelena would wake up, cook breakfast for her family, wait for them to get out of the house, get dressed and wait for you to start your morning routine. Everyday she would walk a few steps behind you, watching your every move. She would follow you to the park and watch as you played with your dogs. She would follow you to the cafe where you always had breakfast, follow you home, follow you to the library when you needed to study, follow you when you went shopping. She became your shadow. 

Sometimes, she would pretend to run into you, just to get a closer look and talk to you. Sometimes she would be bold enough to touch you, just softly brushing her fingers against your skin. Each time she did, she felt electricity going through her whole body. 

But she wanted more from you, she didn’t want to just watch you and imagine all the things she would do to you. She needed you, badly. You were driving her insane, with your perfect shiny hair, your beautiful smile and your flawless body. Touching herself to the tough of you wasn’t enough anymore. 

[...]

Yelena was patiently waiting for you to walk out of your house, but the hours passed and you were nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t from her window, never lost sight of your front door, there was no way you had walked out and she had missed you. 

She began to worry about you. You were the kind of person to make the most of the day, you didn’t sleep in, not even on the weekends. She started to think that maybe something had happened to you. Maybe she got too close to you and messed things up. 

Without giving too much thought, she walked out of her home, crossed the road and stood right in front of your door. She raised her hand to knock but she stopped herself once she heard loud whimpers coming from the inside. 

She quickly reached for her gun, standing by in case she needed it. She felt her heartbeat in her ears, remorse and fear filling her body at the thought of you suffering because of her. She went around your house, trying to get closer to the source of the sounds, and stopped in front of a window where the whimpers were louder. 

Her eyes winded at the sight before her eyes, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold the gasped that was about to escape from her lips. Slowly she put away her gun, her eyes not moving away, not even an inch.

You were very much alive, naked on your bed. Your eyes were closed, your breathing was heavy and while your right hand was in between your thighs your left one was pinching your nipples. Moans and whimpers were coming out of your mouth. 

Yelena knew that was wrong, but she couldn’t look away. Not that she tried or wanted to. The more she looked at you, the wetter she got. It was one thing watching you from afar on your daily routine, but it was a whole nother thing watching you in the comfort of your home, naked, pleasuring yourself. 

She was about to make her way back home to sort herself out to this new image of you when she heard something different coming from your mouth. At first she thought she had misheard, but then you repeated the word, over and over again as you were getting closer to your release. 

She watched as you thrust your fingers in and out of you faster, your brows were furrowed, your lips parted, your back arched like a cat, and a second later she watched you coming undone. 

“Fuck! Yes, Yelena!” she heard you screamed, as you opened your leg wider, giving her the perfect view of your cunt covered in your thick cum. 

It took her three whole minutes to snap out of it and run back home. The second she stepped in, she went to her night table drawer, grabbed her wand vibrator, locked herself in her bathroom and came hard to the thought of you until she couldn’t take the pleasure anymore. 

In the late afternoon, she watched through her window as you exited your house and headed to the park to walk around your dogs. She thought it was hilarious, you weren't as innocent as you appeared to be. Sweet kind Y/n, who touched herself to the thought of her supposedly married and with a child neighbour. The need to have you became stronger and now she wasn’t going to hold back. 

[...]

You were her new mission now, she planned on seducing you. She invited you over every time her husband and child went away, doing whatever it was they were told to do. You gladly accepted, Yelena was the only one who had been nice to you ever since you moved, you thought you could use a friend. Even if you didn't have any friendly feelings for her, even though you fantasised about her every night, even though she was married and with a child and even though you found that last part a bit arousing. Knowing that she was out of your limit only made her more irresistible 

So every afternoon the two of you would have a coffee together. Yelena didn’t talk much, she didn’t want to nor could she. All she wanted was to hear your lovely sweet voice. So she would ask you all kinds of things just to keep you talking. 

Slowly but surely, she would throw you hints. She would say things like how her husband wasn’t what he used to be, a big fat lie since she didn’t properly know the guy. Or she would say how everyday felt the same as the one before, a half lie since her whole word got more interesting once you showed up. 

She would find any excuse just to touch you, in a subtle way. She would touch your hands, sometimes even your waist or cheeks. Everytime the two of you hugged goodbye, Yelena would hold you tightly against her, wanting to feel your body against hers, but both of your clothes were always in the way. Still, she found some comfort in your scent. 

And then, finally, you realised that you weren't just imagining things, that Yelena needed you as badly as you needed her. Your afternoon meetings became make-up sessions. 

Yelena wanted to take things slowly, to not scare you away, even though she felt like she was going to die if she didn’t have a taste of your body. But you just couldn't take it anymore, your fingers weren’t doing the job anymore, you needed her to take care of you. 

So, the next day, the second her husband and child drove away, you desperately knocked on her door, and once she opened the door you smashed her lips against hers. 

“I can’t wait any longer, Yel,” you whispered on her lips, not caring if anyone had seen the two of you. 

“Fine, detka. We’ll do it your way,” the nickname caused butterflies in your stomach. 

She grabbed your wrist, pulling you inside and once she closed the door she slammed you against it. 

You felt your breath already getting heavier and she had barely touched you. She traced your jaw with her fingertip, moving down to your collar bone and further down to your breast. You shudder as she traced your nipple through your clothes. You unconsciously rubbed your thighs together looking for some kind of release. 

“Patience, malyshka,” she said, getting her knee in between your thighs. “I’ll take good care of you, yes?” her russian accent got thicker, filled with lust. 

You felt as if your skin was on fire, just from her touch and closeness. 

“There are so many things I wanna try out with you, pretty girl,” she said, kissing your jaw and neck. Leaving love bites all over your sensitive skin, your head fell back giving her more access, as you tried to hold back the soft moans escaping from your lips.

“I want you to do anything you want to me,” you breathed out, your mind getting foggy as all you could focus on was her.

 “Really? Will you let me use you?”

“Yes,” you gulped down. 

“Mommy.”

“What?” you innocently asked. 

“‘Yes, mommy’. Say it, detka.”

“Yes, mommy,” you swallowed hard, the new nickname getting your core wetter. 

“Good girl,” she kissed your cheek. “Shall we take this to the bedroom?”, she said, a firm gripped on your thigh. 

“Please, mommy.”

She grabbed your hand and the two of you made your way to her bedroom. Once inside, she made sure to lock the door, just in case anyone who wasn’t wanted would come in. Her lips found yours again, it didn’t matter how many times you had tasted her lips, they always felt like the first time, sending shivers up your spine. 

As she stepped closer to you, you unconsciously stepped back. The back of your knees finally hit the bed and you fell on it, Yelena was fast to crawl on top of you. A loud soft moan escaped from your lips once you felt the pressure of her whole body on top of yours, wanting for the two of you to stay forever this close to each other. Her lips moved down to your neck as her hand tugged at the hem of your shirt. 

“Please, take it off,” you breathed out. 

She did as you told her to, smiling to herself once she realised you weren’t wearing anything underneath your shirt. 

“Naughty Y/n, not wearing a bra. This is how badly you wanted me to fuck you, right? So desperate, babygirl.”

“Yes, mommy.”

“Oh, man. Look at those tits,” she said, adjusting herself on top of you. Her calloused fingertips found their way to your nipples, pinching and twisting them. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

She gave your nipples a few licks and bites before getting up. 

“Where’re you going?” you whispered, confused that she was leaving you half naked on her bed. 

“You said you would let me use you, right peaches?” her voice was hoarse.

“I did,” you swallowed hard, she was definitely up to something, you could feel the smirk on her face.

“We need a safe word, babygirl,” you could only see her back, she was kneeling down in front of her closet looking for something. 

“A safe word?” you stuttered, what would you need a safe word for?

“I promise you won’t have to use it, baby. But if you want me to stop or you dont feel uncomfortable just say ‘vanilla’, okay?”

“Okay,” you said, not sure what she was referring to but trusting her nonetheless. 

Once she faced you, you noticed that she was carrying a lot of things. Most of them were fun bright colours and they seemed to be made of silicone, but what made your core go wetter were the metal ones. What were those for?

“Okay,” she said as she placed them on the bed, “let’s take this off,” she gestured to your pants. 

You, being the obedient girl you were, followed her instruction, wanting more than anything to see what was next to come. 

“Such a good girl,” she praised, trailing her fingertip through your body. “Do you know what this is for, malyshka?” she grabbed one of the metal ones.

You shook your head. 

“Of course you don’t,” she smiled down at you. “This bad boy right here is to keep your leg spread out for me, can I use it on you?”

Even though she was the one in control of the whole situation and she was demanding you to do things you haven't done before, there was some tenderness in her words, which only made you want her more. 

You could only nod at her. The truth was you would let her ruin you in every way possible. 

You felt the leather cuffs around your calves, the metal bar in between your legs keeping them open as she had said. 

“What’s that one for?” you nod your head to a bigger leather cuff, two metal chains hanging from the middle of it. 

“Oh, we don’t need to use—”

“I want to,” you cut her off. You knew better than to go against her but you wanted to give your everything to her. 

“Fine, if you insist,” she smiled at you. 

She grabbed the thing and got on top of you. She clasped the leather cuff around your neck, making you gulp. The chains had clips at each end, your brows furrowed not understanding what those were for. 

Yelena could tell you were confused by them, she found the whole thing both arousing and cute. She felt lucky she was the one to teach you all this kind of stuff. 

“Now, these little guys go on these little ones,” she said, grabbing both clips and clapping them around your nipples. 

The soon you felt them around your nipples you felt this shock of both pain and pleasure, a soft moan escaped from your lips. You could feel your cunt was already dripping wet and she was just getting started. 

She got off of you, and took a few seconds to admire you. You were now completely on display for her, legs apart and a collar around your neck. Yelena thought you couldn’t look prettier but then again there you were, all cute and bothered, and most importantly all hers to do as she pleased. 

“What’s next?” you breathed out.

“Now these ones,” she grabbed two more leather cuffs and wrapped them around both your wrists. “Okay lift up your legs for me,” you did as she told you and then somehow she clasped the cuffs to the metal bar. 

You helplessly tried to move, but there was no use, she had completely restrained you.

“You look so good, detka. I want to take a picture of you looking all submissive for me,” she kissed your forehead and you could only smile at her words please that you were being good for her. 

You watched her as she grabbed a weird looking microphone, she pressed a bottom and the thing started doing a buzzing sound. 

Yelena lifted up your legs and pressed the thing right in your core, exactly where you needed her the most. A loud moan escaped from your lips as soon as the thing touched your skin. Your eyes once again rolled to the back of your head, finally getting some kind of actual pleasure. 

She traced small tight circles around your clit with the thing, making you whimper and setting your skin on fire. You wanted to close your legs, giving that the pleasure was all too much at once, and that was when you realised why she wanted the metal bat in between your legs. 

She was actually tourtung you, in the most satisfying way a human being could torture another one. She was giving you what you wanted, what you needed, but it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“Mommy, please,” you begged. 

“What is it, baby?” 

“I need you,” you gasped as she kept the thing torturing you poor clit. “I need you, mommy.”

“It’s okay, baby.”

She traced your entrance with her fingertips, gathering all your wetness. She licked her fingers, having a small taste of you and she couldn't help but moan at how sweet you tasted. She quickly moved her fingers back to your core, and slowly pushed her middle finger inside of you. 

As soon as you felt the pressure of her finger inside you, you once again wanted to close your legs, and you found it arousing the fact that you couldn't. 

She pulled back her finger and pushed one more back in.You felt your cunt being stretched out by her two fingers, making you whimper. While she was giving your clit attention with the white vibrating thing, she quickly found a perfect pace inside and out of you. 

It all soon became too much. The collar around your neck, the clips on your nipple, the bar in between your legs, the thing on your clit and her fingers inside and out of you. 

“Mommy, fuck,” you couldn’t formed words your brain too foggy to, “ I think I’m going to come.”

Yelena took that as a sign to get her pace faster, chasing after your release. You could hear the sounds of skin against skin as Yelena pushed her finger inside and of you. The closer you got to your orgasm the more you felt the need to close your leg given it was all too much for you. 

As tears formed in your eyes, you felt something in your stomach snapped as your orgasm took over you. Yelena didn’t slow down, and soon enough she found herself covered in your juices. You squirted, warm liquid coming out of your cunt, getting all the bed sheets and Yelena’s arms wet. 

Once you came down from your high, you realised what just had happened. You didn’t know you could do that, you have never done that. 

“Well would you look at that,” she said, “I think I just outdid myself, don’t you think, detka?” she had a grin on her face. 

You felt your cheeks go red but chucked at her words. She had in fact outdone herself. 

You felt your whole body getting numb and your eyes getting heavier. 

“You’re feeling sleepy, babygirl?”

You nodded at her, too tired to answer her. 

“You can rest now,” she said, unclasping the cuffs around your wrist and calves, but leaving the collar around your neck. 

Through your tired eyes, you watched as she undressed herself. You brows furrowed and Yelena noticed your confusion. 

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to do anything, alright? Just let me use you as you promised me, okay?” her tone was so kind but her words had other intentions. Still she was right, you told her she could use you as she pleased. 

She grabbed what looked like a double ended silicone dick and slowly pushed inside herself half of it, as a soft moan escaped from her lips you couldn't help but rub your thighs together feeling your core hot once again but were too tired to do anything about it. 

But Yelena wasn’t tired at all. She spread your legs open and adjusted herself in between you. You groaned as she rubbed the silicone dick along your slit. And then slowly pushed it inside of you. 

She started at a slow pace, in and out of you, getting you all hot and bothered again. As she picked up her pace, you could feel your second orgasm getting closer. And by the way her brows were furrowed, her eyes shut and her lips slightly parted you could tell she was close too. 

You grabbed her by her chin and pressed your lips against hers, her tongue soon finding her way inside your mouth, tasting every corner. She moved her lips down your neck and found your nipple. She unclasped the clip and replace it with her mouth. She sucked, licked and bit your poor nipple as she trusted even faster and deeper into you. 

“Mommy, I’m gonna—” but a loud moan stopped your words, as Yelena trusted faster and sloppier into you as she chased her own orgasm 

“Oh, fuck,” you heard her said before she cry out your name over and over again, reaching her orgasm. And you came right there. 

She came down from her high, slowly thrusting into you. Once she was done she lay next to you, both your breaths were heavy. She unclasped the other clip from your nipple and kissed your forehead. 

“You did so good, malyshka,” you had a sleepy smile on your face, already thrifting off to sleep. 

As you slipped away from reality, you felt her wrapping her arms around you and started singing some russian lullaby. 

Yelena watched as your breathing became slower and soon enough you were fast asleep. She chuckled at how tired you had gotten from a few little things. She wanted to have you like this forever, all to herself. But she couldn’t, she was an assassin for god’s sake. 

Or maybe she could, she just needed to come up with the right plan.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[httpsjeonglvr]

Red-handed

Aged up miles morales x fem!reader

Chapter summary: You and Miles finally get a break from taking of your children and your jobs but unexpectedly you both get caught in the act by his friends.

Chapter warnings: You and miles get caught in the act,there are children mentioned,let me know if there is anything else

This was taken from my other account guys just so you guys know 👍🏾

It was a regular day. You woke up to the sun shining and an empty bed. You went to your kid's room and didn't see your son in the crib or your daughter.

You went downstairs to see them watching TV on Miles’ lap who was on his phone. You snatch your youngest off his lap making him smile.

"Hey baby you had a good morning with daddy?" You ask him kissing his nose. You gave birth to Chin-Sun, but everyone called her Sunny. A few years later you had Manny. They were both happy babies and were adored by everyone. You lean down kissing Miles. "Hey uh, babe, the guys are about to come to get Sunny and manny is that okay?" He asks

"Sure are they coming right now?" You ask. He nods as you motion for your daughter to follow you upstairs with Sunny following you to get them ready to spend a day with their uncles. It didn't take you long except for when you tried to do Sunny’s hair where she got fussy and started calling for Miles who came to her rescue. "Sunny!" Hobie called walking into the house and smiling at the two kids, Sunny ran down the stairs as you carried Manny downstairs smoothing his hair. Her face lights up reaching for her favorite uncle. "I want them back home before 10, you got that," Miles says

"She's 6 and he's 5 months Rin they're not 16!" Peter speaks up making everyone laugh. "I'm serious!" "Okay! They'll be home before 10" Miguel says as he grabs Manny’s baby bag and leaves. With the kids being gone you figured you'd get some cleaning done. You started with the main rooms like the bathrooms, Kitchen, and bedrooms.

Sunny had toys everywhere, with Miles spoiling her, he bought every toy she picked up in the store and bought it for her. But you couldn't talk much since you spoiled your baby boy with every toy and gave him food every time he begged for it.

You had checked and cleaned every room except for the living room where Miles was and he didn't show any signs of leaving. He had his feet up on the table. You were trying to vacuum but couldn't do it with him in the way. "Baby stop cleaning so much and come chill with me" He says as he grabs your arm. "I will once I finish," You tell him.

"No I want you to stop right now," he says with his voice full of demand. "Who are you talking to?" You ask as you turn the vacuum off. "My wife so sit the hell down,” He says. You ignore him and turn the vacuum back on and continue to clean. This makes him mad and he groans. As you get to where he is you sigh as you attempt to vacuum under the couch.

"Can you move?" You ask. "I don't know can my wife come to sit down with me?" He asks not taking his eyes off the tv. "Miles move, "You say rolling your eyes. "Make me," He says smirking

You roll your eyes turning the vacuum off. You march over to him and take his legs off the table. when you do he pulls you into his lap wrapping his arms around you. "Let me go," you say. "Make me," He says as he kisses your neck. "Miles let me go so I can finish cleaning-" He had found your sweet spot and now you were ice melting in his hands. Soon enough both of your clothes were on the floor leaving a mess you'd worry about later.

"I can't believe you forgot to get their food!" "You were the one that grabbed the bag" "You should have checked it before we pulled off!". Miles looks up seeing his friends in the kitchen. He rolls his eyes forgetting he gave them a key to his home for emergencies.

"Ya know what I won't take any more disrespect- what are you two doing?" Hobie asks as everyone directs their attention to the couch. "I was about to get laid until you guys barged in,” Miles says as you slap his chest. "Well we forgot their snacks,” Miguel says. "And you couldn't just buy some at the store?" You ask. "Why would we do that if she has food here?" Hobie asks while rolling his eyes adjusting the restless baby who was reaching for his snack and babbling.

"Anyway, We are gonna let you get back down to business," Miguel says pushing them out the door. "Please" Miles mumbles as they leave closing and locking the door "Now where were we?" He asks with that stupid smirk on his face. "I believe that we were at make me," You say pulling him back over your body.

[emeryhiro]

Hi! Thanks so much for your epsiode breakdowns of the book of carol! I had a couple of questions for you about episode 1. No worries if you can't answer though!

1 - after watching, do you feel more or less confident about caryl going canon? Or about the same?

2- if you had to use three words to describe the ep, what would they be?

3- if you had to use three emojis to describe your fave scene, what would they be?

4- was there anything you didn't like about the ep?

5- do you think ep 6 is going to be the best episode of walking dead anything ever?

Thanks so much!!

Hey Anon!

You're so welcome 🩵 and thank you for the interesting questions 😊 I apologise in advance because my response for Q1 is going to be a little long and slightly ranty.

1 - When I compare how I felt about it in the last 10+ years to how I feel about it now after watching episode 1, I would say I definitely feel more confident that we're heading for Caryl canon. AMC indeed had plenty of opportunities to give us canon before (but obviously never did); however, the setup now is the best it's ever been. From a storytelling perspective, I believe the way Episode 1 set up Carol on her journey to find Daryl is the perfect lead-up for canon. And S02EP1 made 3 things very evident to me:

Finding Daryl is Carol's number one priority, and she'd do anything to get him back

Daryl would never be truly happy without her, and he can't stop thinking about her and how she's doing without him.

The longer they're apart, the more mentally and emotionally unstable they become.

I'm aware there are some people who think that after watching episode 1, the new season's story is not going to be the one we want for Caryl. To those people, I want to ask: Did we watch the same episode?🤣 'Cause I didn't see a single anti-Caryl thing in the episode I watched.

I'll dive into my opinion on the timing of canon a little more as well:

If Caryl had gone canon on the main show, I'm sure we would have all been so happy, but it's all going to be so much more rewarding after the tension that has now been built with Daryl after season one and Carol in season 2 (so far). With all the time they've spent apart, they have started to experience the real fear of never seeing each other again or knowing if the other is even alive.

I think this was the plan all along. The initial spin-off idea was for Carol and Daryl to leave the group and join everyone again later in the show. That opportunity to leave the group and what they experienced in that time away would have been their plan to get to that level of tension where canon was the most satisfying.

When it was decided that the TWD would end with s11, they knew they had to hold off on canon until the spinoff because there was no way they had enough screen time left to get through the character development they needed for Caryl or the opportunity to build tension the way they envisioned it.

I'm happy they waited because getting a rushed canon would've been led up to by moments that we've already seen and experienced by the characters many times before (and never previously led to canon) would not have done Caryl justice.

Unfortunately, the pattern that we consistently saw in the flagship show was that as soon the group settled somewhere (Prison, Alexandira, Commonwealth) and got into some sense of normalcy, Daryl and Carol were automatically pulled apart by circumstances and responsibilities, and barely end up getting any time together. Carol even spoke to Maggie about this in S11EP21. That's who Daryl and Carol are; they never put themselves or their wants/needs first. So, for canon to happen and to make sense, they needed to be taken away from everyone else, given their own journey and time together, without the distraction of their obligations to others.

Carol and Daryl are my favourite characters in all of fiction. I ultimately want them to be cared for and get the happiness they deserve. Some might strongly disagree with me on this, but I think if, after this point, they still don't give us canon, then it'd be because Norman and Melissa didn't want it. I'll stand by my previous comments on this; Norman and Melissa are being heard by the writers, and to me, their character arcs have their input written all over them. If they want Caryl to be canon (which I strongly believe they do), then it will be, and if they don't, then it won't be, because I don't think there's anything else holding that back anymore.

2 - EMOTIONAL, unhinged, and nostalgic

3 - 💥🛩️🌅 - I'm curious to know how you interpret these and if the people I attended the premiere with would agree ( @celtic-crossbow @maggie-atwood )

4 - I strongly disliked how the people at the nest (i.e. Isabelle & Losang) treated Daryl. We saw them constantly emotionally manipulate him in season 1, and I was still seeing that in S02EP1; however, what made it a little better this time was that Daryl was clearly sick of it all. He looked ready to wrap things up, resolve the Nest's conflicts as soon as possible, and start heading home.

5 - Idk... someone should ask Norman. I wish he'd share his thoughts on episode 6 🤣 (Yes, I do! To me, the whole season is gonna be the best season of twd anything ever because it's all about Carol and Daryl)

Thanks again for the interesting questions; they were a lot of fun for me to answer, and I hope I've answered them well. Please feel free to lmk if you have any others ♡♡♡

[possibilistfanfiction]

hello :) feel free to ignore if you're not taking prompts anymore but I can't stop thinking about bea and 'now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good'

[whoever sent this prompt a bazillion years ago, know i've been thinking abt it forever. sry it took this long but a sweet little cam pov, butch bea universe, post-canon]

//

'hey.' you're careful to make sure your footsteps, while soft, are audible, and that you don't move too quickly; beatrice hasn't been a nun for years now, but you're certain that, if you scared her in the middle of the night, she could have you on your back with a broken collarbone quicker than you can even blink.

as it is, though, she turns to you with a soft smile and then gazes out at the waves again, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms tight around them, chin resting atop. you're wrapped up in a thick blanket you'd taken from the foot of your bed — you know ava always makes sure it's in your favorite of their guest bedrooms whenever you plan to visit — and beatrice is in a soft sweater, a beanie pulled down to sit just above her ears.

it's the middle of the night and dark by the sea, but the lights from the city, perpetual and unrelenting and hopeful, create an ambient haze.

'all right?' she asks quietly.

'oh, yeah,' you say. 'just jetlagged.'

she hums, not uncurling, still not looking at you. her posture is easy, albeit a little sad, a little small, but she's not tense; you know your company is welcome.

'are you okay?'

she seems to weigh her answer. 'i couldn't sleep.'

you don't have to ask more to understand: you're the one who found her at the arc, sitting stone-still; you're the one who held her, hours later, as she had a panic attack that seemed to roll on and on in waves; you're the one who quietly kept tabs on her in the eight months ava was missing as she waded through the world steeped in tangible grief. you know every detail of her recent injuries, her recovery progress months later. you have your own nightmares too.

'ava's okay?'

you know he is; beatrice wouldn't be skulking away at 3 am on the beach outside of their house if he wasn't. still, it gets her to smile. 'fast asleep, taking up three quarters of the bed. korra is taking up the rest of it.'

you smile; korra has a habit of cuddling with you when she's off-duty and you're visiting, but you know if beatrice leaves ava's side, korra is immediately there, even if it's just to sleep.

'is your leg bothering you?'

it gets beatrice to unfurl, just a little, and stretch her left leg out along the sand. you'd gone running with her the day before, easy along the water, and she hadn't shown any signs of soreness, but you know sometimes, especially if there's going to be rain, her hip aches. 'no,' she says, 'it's okay.' she lets out a deep breath. 'i'm okay.'

you nod; you know well enough by now to not press the issue. you've seen so many people you love — ava and beatrice included — injured, in pain; some people you have loved have died, and there was nothing you could do to save them. it is not an easy life, to save the world.

you let the waves roll in and out peacefully. beatrice is your big sister, has been for years and years now. eventually, she sighs and turns to you, fiddling with the engagement band on her left ring finger, a marker of one of your favorite joys. 'do you really think i'm — ava wants to marry me.'

ava, since, like, four days into knowing beatrice, has been in love with her, you're pretty sure, and they've been together for years, have built a life and won a holy war and built a life again — so of course ava wants to marry her. but, still, 'yeah,' you say. 'she does.'

beatrice shakes her head, like she can't quite believe it. on bad nights, maybe she can't.

'bea.'

she twists the band around her finger, then takes her beanie off and runs a hand through her short hair. you scoot closer to her and bump her shoulder with yours and wait for her to look at you. 'ava is just — he's been through so much. he's hurt, so much. and he deserves to have the most beautiful life.'

'that's true,' you say, because it is, in every way. but, 'in what world is that life not spent loving you?' you're sure beatrice has made up a million reasons why it isn't true, some nonsense about her not being patient enough, not being kind enough, not being sure enough about who she is, not being free enough to want things, not being excellent or extraordinary enough. 'listen, i was rooting for you ages and ages ago, okay? i meddled as best i could.'

it takes a second, and it's watery with unshed tears, but beatrice laughs quietly. 'i do remember that.'

'bea, you have to know by now, right?'

you watch her jaw clench; sometimes love, especially ava's love, so generous and so bright, is hard to swallow, is even harder to stomach.

'you don't have to be perfect. you just have to be good.' you touch the ring on her finger and than lace yours with hers. 'and you are so, so good.'

you're definitely not surprised to see her sniffle and wipe below her eyes. she steadies herself after a few seconds, but not in a way that makes you ache. instead, she puts her beanie back on and finally turns to you with a smile. 'thank you, camila.'

'no need,' you say. 'you love us all so well, every day.'

her eyes are soft. 'i try.'

you squeeze her hand.

'tomorrow morning,' she says, 'you have to act surprised, because ava has this big brunch planned so we can ask you extravagantly.'

'go on, i'm loving the concept so far.'

'will you officiate our wedding?'

it's maybe, or, like, definitely, the best question anyone has ever asked you. 'are you kidding? of course.'

'you're sure? it's — it's a gay wedding, and you're technically still clergy, and —'

you roll your eyes and, for good measure, elbow her in the ribs. 'you're out of your mind if you think i care about any of that, let alone believe it. you're my favorite couple. also, we've been to like twelve drag brunches together? i've told you multiple times i think ayo edebiri is hot.'

'well, i just —'

'it would be the greatest honor of my life, beatrice.'

she hugs you, tight, and the next morning you do let ava order an extravagant amount of food and then ask you again; you pretend to be surprised and he sees right through you, playfully huffs at beatrice but then just whoops and hugs you anyway when you obviously agree. it's easy, to bask in her light, in their love. at their wedding, in front of the same ocean, on the same sand, as you hold beatrice's childhood bible with its careful notes and occasional doodles and recite love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres; love never fails; as bea cries the entire time in a perfectly tailored suit and ava, in her wispy dress, gossamer and lace, laughs and wipes her tears — it's easy to know that this is what god meant. a union, steadfast, devoted, faithful, you say; a holiness worthy of the divine.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

The Things We Left Behind: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Dean's head starts filling with your memories, memories he doesn't want to relive twice. They're from your point of view, giving him a different side of the story.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

How often is this going to happen? Where am I now? The sun is hot against my skin but it's different from the last time I was in the sun. There are junk cars all around me. Wait, is this Bobby's place? I walk closer to a car with windows and look at my reflection. It's not me staring back at myself.

Of course. I'm Y/N again.

Pain stings at my hands and I look down to see the knuckles busted on my right hand. I have to get this taken care of. My body moves on its own back to the house I remember burning down. It's so weird to be back here after so long. I walk inside the house and step on a creaky board, and my head snaps to the right when I see him.

"Where's the first aid kit?" I ask.

I don't want to ask that. I want to ask him a million and one questions but it's like I'm a guest in this dream. Memory. I'm not quite sure what this is, still. I just have to watch it play out like how it once was.

"Upstairs in the bathroom where you left it," he replies. I turn to leave but he stops me. "Hey, wait."

"What do you want?" I ask without turning around.

"Want to eat with me? We can sit and talk. I'm worried about you," he sighs.

"Don't need it. I'm fine."

Why the hell is Y/N acting so cold toward him? What time is this from? I walk upstairs to the bathroom and remove the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet. I wash my hands under warm water until the water runs clear instead of pink with blood. Once clean, I wrap my hand in the gauze before using surgical tape to keep it secured.

Now that I'm in front of a mirror, I take a moment to stare at my reflection. This is better than some window in the junkyard, and I can't believe my eyes. Y/N doesn't look good at all. Her eyes are sunken in, she lost a lot of weight, her hair is greasy but pulled back into a ponytail, and she doesn't look happy at all.

Now I remember. I died and went to Hell. I remember coming back and being shocked at the state of her. 

Oh, sweetheart, why weren't you taking care of yourself?

There is banging coming from downstairs but I don't go down there right away. I'm not sure what she is thinking as she stares at herself in the mirror, but I finally leave the bathroom to investigate the noise downstairs. I reach the bottom and see Bobby standing in the living room looking between me and whoever is in the kitchen.

It's me. I'm in the kitchen.

"Dad? I need to talk to you. Look, I want to apologize for how I've been acting," I start before stopping when I notice his look. "You don't have to say anything but I'm sorry. You didn't deserve the shit I put you through. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, and I don't know if I will ever be ready anytime soon, but I'm sorry."

"Y/N," Bobby trails off before looking into the kitchen.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Dean steps into the living room and I feel myself freeze. I can't seem to move no matter how much my body is telling me to. Dean just stares at me without a word. I couldn't seem to say anything after seeing Y/N for the first time in years. Yeah, when I went to Hell, I was only gone for four months but it felt like four years to me.

Tears well in my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. One slips by as I find the courage to take a step toward Dean. Suddenly, I take out my gun from my pants and point it at Dean who stiffens when he sees it.

"No, Y/N!" Bobby panics.

"Who the hell are you? Is this some kind of sick joke?" I yell.

"Y/N it's him. He passed all the tests," Bobby says as he walks over to me. "Holy water, silver knife, the demon knife, everything. It's really him." 

My grip on the gun loosens as my body begins to shake. Bobby takes the gun from me and slides the safety on.

"It's me, sweetheart," Dean says. I walk slowly over to him as my heart pounds in my chest. I reach up reluctantly to touch his cheeks. Something slams into my chest, making it hard to breathe. Dean grabs your shoulders to prevent me from falling. "Breathe, Y/N, it's okay. I'm here. You're not alone anymore."

"Dean?" I whisper.

"It's me. I'm not going anywhere."

I let out a sob and jump into his arms. My legs wrap around his waist and my arms around his neck. I sob into his neck as he holds me tightly, and I pull away only to press my lips against his. I immediately feel the stress wash away from my body. I feel safe. I feel love.

"H-how are y-you back?" I stutter and pull away from him.

"I don't know. I just woke up in a coffin. You buried me?"

"I couldn't watch you burn, Dean. I missed you so much. I was in so much pain."

"I'm here now. You're okay. I won't ever leave you again," he promises and kisses me again.

"Dean, are you okay?" Cas pulls Dean out of the memory.

"I'm fine," he sighs. "I just have a headache."

There's no way in hell he's going to tell Cas that he's probably getting your memories in front of you. You'd know your soul is inside him.

"It's probably from all the alcohol bottles you're drowning in," you scoff.

Sam calls Dean about a lead he has. He doesn't know where Claire is but he did find someone who might know where she is. You meet Sam outside of a Super Weenie Hut Jr. while Dean goes inside to get something to eat. You're waiting outside when a kid comes walking wearing his uniform. He must be showing up for his shift.

"Dustin Tate?" Sam asks.

"Nah, man."

"Really?"

Cas grabs the back of his jacket to instill fear in the young man.

"Yes, you are." Cas pushes Dustin against the brick wall. "You're going to tell me where Claire Novak is." Dustin doesn't say anything so Cas grabs his neck and lifts him off the ground, causing Dustin to start choking. "Now."

"I'd listen to him if I were you," you smirk.

"Gas station," Dustin gasps. "Down the street."

Cas lets go of his neck and stalks away. He doubles over and coughs violently but you don't stick around any longer. You and the three men drive over to the gas station and see Claire enter through the back. There are a few customers inside but she waits until they all leave until she is the only one left inside besides the cashier. Sam, Dean, and Cas are talking about what to do when you scoff loudly.

"I'll just go inside."

You walk inside the store and turn the corner to see Claire with a gun in her hand. She is about to rob the fucking store. She walks toward the cashier who hasn't a clue what's going on when you slide in between them. She stops short when she makes eye contact with you, and you give her a bittersweet smile.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

She looks behind her to see Cas standing there with a disappointed look on his face. The cashier looks at you three weirdly but Cas doesn't stick around. He grabs her arm and practically drags her out into the alley where Dean's car is. Claire yanks her arm out of Cas' grip and starts to walk away when he grabs her arm again.

"Claire, wait!"

"Fuck you!" she yells and yanks her arm away again.

"Whoa, Miley Cyrus, calm down," Dean says and blocks her from going anywhere.

"Eat me, Hasselhoff."

"Claire, hold on a second. Look, my name's—"

"Sam. You're Dean. You're Y/N. We've met, remember?"

"You were going to rob that convenience store?"

"So?"

"So? It's wrong!" Cas gasps.

"Is it?" you speak and lean against the hood of the car. "What's a couple hundred dollars missing from a gas station?"

"Shut it," Dean glares at you.

"You want to talk to me about wrong?" Claire asks Cas. "You killed my dad. Is that wrong enough for you?"

"No, I didn't."

"Really? Because without you, he'd still be here, and my mom would still be around."

"Claire, I'm--"

He takes a step toward her and she points her gun at him. He sighs knowing it won't do anything to him but he doesn't move.

"Don't!"

"That won't hurt me."

"Fine."

She moves the gun over to you, Sam, and Dean who take a cautious step back. You stay where you are with a roll of your eyes. Dramatic bitch.

"Whoa, come on!"

"Hold on a second," Sam panics.

"Why? Like you three don't have it coming? You stood there while this monster took my dad." She lowers her gun but the threat is still in her eyes. "I used to pray to you, Castiel. Every night. I would beg you to bring him home safe."

"I know," he sighs.

"You know? My father was a good man. In what messed up world does he have to die and you get to live?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, you feel guilty. There's a difference."

"God, you're so dramatic, and for what? Suck it up. Stop being a baby bitch. People die. Get over it." Claire raises her gun and fires at you but you quickly duck out of the way. "You missed me!" Claire shoots again and almost hits the Impala. "Such a drama queen."

"Hey, no more shooting!" Dean yells and steps between you and Claire. "Go wait in the car!"

You do as you're told and get in the backseat. Claire glares at you but lowers the gun.

"So, now what? Now you run back to Randy? The guy you steal for?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Dustin."

Sam must have stayed behind and got more information from him when you were heading to the car.

"Claire, that man is using you."

"He was there for me. When things got bad, and they got real damn bad, he was there when no one else was. He's my family. You're just... you can go to hell."

Claire walks away and this time, Cas lets her leave. Tension is high between you four so you decide to go to the bar and drink your problems away. You grab the bartender's attention and ask for a double before the rest can put in their orders.

"You really had to start something when she had a fucking gun, didn't you?" Dean glares at you.

"Claire's a fucking crybaby. Boo hoo. She lost her dad. So did I, but you don't see me crying over it."

You grab your drink and toss the double back.

"You shut down for a month because of it."

"Yeah, back when I had my soul." You motion for another double. "Glad that's gone."

"Cas, don't beat yourself up, man," Dean ignores your comment and looks at his friend.

"She was right. Who am I to tell her how to live her life?"

"Somebody needs to. It's not like we're talking about Mother Teresa here. The girl just about knocked over a Gas 'n Sip. She's got issues."

"Because of me."

"You are wearing her dad's face. It's fucking with her head."

"I thought I could make it up to her."

"I don't think you can. I mean, Jimmy was her father, and to some people, that's everything, you know?"

"No, I don't. I never knew my father. He was distant, to say the least." Cas turns to Dean. "What about you? Did you love your father?"

"With everything I had."

"But he didn't love you," you smirk and down your drink.

Dean pulls out the remote that's for the device on your neck, and you drop your smirk immediately.

"Do you want me to use this?" You try to grab it from him but he's too quick for you. "Go away."

"Fine," you huff. "I'm sure there is someone here I can hit on."

Dean watches you walk away with nothing but pain in his eyes. He looks at Cas with tears he won't let fall.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this. Is her soul pure or not?"

"I'll check later. Right now, we need to be focused on Claire. Do you think Claire is in trouble?"

"She's hanging out with a guy named Randy. Of course, she's in trouble."

After some recon that the brothers do, they figure out where Randy lives. You're not too excited to go but if Randy is about as bad as they say he is, you're excited to fuck someone up. Dean knocks on the front door once they get there and waits for it to open. A man answers but it's not Randy. Castiel lifts his hand and uses his powers to fling the man backward into the wall. Randy and a couple of other men jump back from shock but are quick to bounce back. They advance toward your group but stop when they see the guns in your hands. You lift yours and point it at one of the men who backs up.

"Back up," you growl and walk forward.

"Where's the girl?" Cas demands.

Claire screams from upstairs and Cas jumps into action. You and Castiel leave Sam and Dean downstairs so you can deal with whoever is upstairs. You kick down the door to one of the bedrooms to see a man trying to force himself onto Claire. She is fighting for her life trying to get him off but she doesn't have to fight for long. The man looks at you and Cas, giving Claire enough time to kick him off her.

"Don't ever touch me!" she screams at him and kicks him in the face.

"Claire! Claire!" Cas says and pulls her away from him. "Come on."

x

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[thedevilsoftruth]

Tomorrow: Shane's Journal

I had this idea for a long time, and that idea was to write 5 journal entries going through important time stamps of Shane's life. These entries are written through the lens of Shane himself, almost as if he actually wrote them. Nothing stated in here is 100% cannon. These are all simply headcanons I have of Shane and his life, and i hope you all enjoy it!

For clarity, I think Stardew takes place in 2016, given that's when it was released, and i also hc Shane to be 35, so he was born in 1981 in this fic. A little bit random, but that's just something to chew on.

Tw: This fic goes over very sensitive topics such as suicide, mentions of self-harm, shootings, depression, alcohol addiction, childhood trauma, and a lot of Atheism.

◇◇◇

September 8th, 1996

Hey god, if you're listening, why are you doing this to me? I've tried and tried and tried all I could, all day, every day. No matter what people threw at me, I still fucking took it because I didn't want to end up being a dead beat like my stupid fucking father. I'm sorry. I'm angry. What's the point of fucking living if everyday I'm in goddamn pain, and If all my nights are spent sleepless as I sob? I've prayed and prayed and prayed for things to get better, but nothing is getting better, and I want to die. The only thing good in my life right now is my gridball team. My parents don't fucking love me, I'm a failure to everyone I know. I'm starting to think this world would be better off without me.

God, please, help me. Guide me to a newfound happiness, please. I can't go on like this anymore. I want to have hope, I need to have hope. It's what Marnie tells me every day. But I can't if things continue to go to shit. Well, im going to lie down now. Tomorrow is a new day... right?

- Shane .H

September 10th, 1996

You're a liar, you're a fucking liar. Screwed up, fucked up, arrogant, selfish liar. I was blind to your lies, deceived by the promised hope of a good life, and yet you took my hope and smashed it against the wall. I hate you. I hate all of you. I want to cut myself and die as I bleed out.

Everyone is turning against me. Ethan wasn't there for me when I told him to stay outside my aunt's house last night. My mother tried to kill me last night, and my father wouldn't dare to bat an eye at me. I don't know what I fucking did to deserve this. Mom hurt Marnie. Everyone was screaming, I felt like my ears were going to bleed. I ran away. Mom tried to throw a knife at me, so I ran away. Ethan got me high before that and was supposed to stay outside of Marnies ranch for me incade anything happened, but he fled afterward.

They had told me they didn't want me at Marnies house anymore when they were gone. But I couldn't stop myself. They hadn't been home in a week, and I needed comfort. They are always fucking gone they are always never home or.... used to not always be home.

I stayed at Micheal's house last night. I went back to Marnie's this morning. My parents killed themselves an hour after I left. They did it in front of Marnie, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. They wouldn't listen to her. Marine is going to be my guardian. We're going to make frequent trips to Zuzu city for our therapy sessions.

I don't think I'll be going back to school. I hate myself. I hate my life. My parents died because of me. I wasn't a good son, I never was. Maybe if I had been better and didn't get high, sneak out, or get bad grades all the time, they would have loved me. But if there's anything I hate the most at the moment other than myself, it's you, God.

- Shane .H

November 27th, 2010

I thought I was getting better. I thought things were going to be okay. I haven't taken therapy since I was 20. I'm gonna need it after today because I'm having the biggest downward spiral since 1996. I started to believe again. I started to read the Bible and pray because things were getting better, but all of this shit coming back to me tells me that there is no God up in the sky. It's a joke. A stupid dumb lie that innocent people like myself get mind-fucked into believing is real. But it's not. It's a load of fucking shit.

God took away everything that I have ever loved in my entire life and hollowed out my soul until I was nothing, and left me with stupid fucking priorities that I can't fucking handle! I didn't want a child. Not now, not ever. This child isn't mine. How am I supposed to fucking provide for her, if I'm working 9 hours a godamn week at a fucking grocery store? Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

One second, I'm at a fair with my two best friends i haven't seen in years who are parents now, the other second they're killed in a shooting and I'm stuck with their fucking kid!

I don't want this, I don't fucking want this at all. Kill me, please, God. I can't even write this with how shaky my fucking hands are. I wish I never crossed paths with Micheal, even if it's been 12 years since I've seen him. I can't do this. I can't go on anymore. Tell me one reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in my head like my fucking parents did?! Fuck you, and fuck your stupid fucking cult, and fuck your beliefs, and fuck it all!!!

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2016

I love you, Marnie. I love you, Jas. I love you, Michael and Alejandra. I love you, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a failure. All I've ever done to you all was bring you pain. I'm a dead beat. I don't deserve your kindness or your patience. I'm a fat, alcohol addicted, low-life, dick face who's never made any achievement in life. I can't even get myself out of bed in the morning. I black out almost every night from drinking too much. I could never get a good job here in the fucking town.

My life has brought me nothing but pain. Nobody wants someone lin their life who can't even do something as simple as brushing their teeth.. I'm nothing but a mere parasite, eating away at people's lives.

I'm sorry, im sorry, I'm sorry, but today is the day.

You won't have to deal with me anymore, and I can finally be free from this never-ending hell.

Goodbye, world.

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2018

2 years. I've been sober for 2 years now.

On this day, two years ago, I tried to end my life. I almost drank myself to death, but a farmer noticed me near the cliff and supported me. They brought me to a hospital, and I went back to Zuzu city to try therapy again. It's still embarrassing when I think about it. Those memories don't make me nearly as sad anymore, I just get... kind of embarrassed. It's like... wow, I was like that? What an asshole, hehe.

Well, my sobriety isn't the only thing I'm proud of.

Jas is eight years old now! I finally saved up enough to move out of Marnies and into the city. I got a new job, and I have a cousin here who is watching over Jas during the day after she comes home from school. She has a lot of friends now and is boy crazy... oh dear, I still don't like the thought of that. My hours aren't the best, but it makes me money and keeps a roof over our heads. I work on service tech. I didn't know I liked cars so much, haha! Everyone there is really cool and nice, and it's helped me with coming out of my shell a little bit.

On holidays, me and Jas go back to Stradew Valley to see Marnie. We have frequent calls with her, and I also make sure to pay the farmer a visit. Jas and I bake them cookies as a thanks for literally saving my life. Sometimes she eats them in the car...

Well, anyway, I start work in a little bit. Just wanted to let everything all out. Today is a new day, after all.

- Shane .H