#can't believe i actually did it haha
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riricitaa · 1 year ago
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as promised 🙈 a continuation to this
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temeyes · 2 months ago
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happy tsukki day!! love you to the moon and back, keikei!!
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toxicroyjamie · 3 months ago
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I think Roy kind of has that residual trauma of childhood bullying where he kind of always feels like he's a cringe loser and Jamie is too cool for him
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elektroyu · 5 months ago
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Managed to get a simple Yu ref sheet done in time for Art Fight! :D Here's her link: https://artfight.net/character/4719544.yu
Somehow I always used to feel that a proper saddle pattern was too dark for her, but now that I actually did it I think it fits her pretty well! Maybe I can stick to this design for a while. I wanted something that was genetically possible irl, so all her previous iterations bugged me a lot.
Her hobbies are all the cool dog things that I can't do irl (for the time being at least): everything that lets her run and/ or use her little brain in addition like sledding/ bike-joring/ dog scootering/ etc., agility, also playing with friends. She's pretty fast! And like me, she's reserved around strangers.
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princekirijo · 1 year ago
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Finally graduated haha let's go 🥹
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pynkhues · 2 months ago
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Hey, first of all I wanted to say: I'm OBSESSED with your writing and metas. You have very fresh and engaging takes on loutstat and holy family dynamics and of course your characterization of Louis and Lestat is amazing! Thank you for all your writing!
Second: if you still doing this, words for ask game: scream(ing/ed), sweet, tears
And third: I currently have... concepts of plan for my first fic ever, what can I say, show inspired me, and I decided to include top!Louis/bottom!Lestat whatever it takes. For me and for you :)
Hey! Oh my gosh, thank you so much, anon! You're incredibly lovely and I'm delighted both that you like my writing and meta, AND that you have concepts for your first fic ever!! Good luck, and please link me when you finish it :-)
And the words for the wip meme! I don't have anything yet for screaming unfortunately, but I have some for the other two. Both are from The Steady Murmur (always in my head) aka the reunion fic:
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The shampoo, he knows, won’t be to Lestat’s liking – it’s too sweet for one, perfumed with that saccharine artificial coconut that calls to mind adverts for tanning lotion and beach waves – but for now, it’s all they have, and Louis rubs it between his hands before threading his fingers back through Lestat’s wet hair.
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Deafening, the sound of her.
A pounding at his ear drums, an aching ream of resonance singing round and round the shells of his ears. Whipping winds howling at his eyes until he can barely see, bloodied tears pooling at his lids, catching in his lashes, courting dust, dirt, debris, the smell of the Mississippi hauled outta her bed and up in the air, drowning him as he tries to steady his feet. He can’t vamp. Not with his hand still holding fast to the knot of Lestat’s robe, not when the hurricane would force him, them, any direction it wanted, toss them around like a cat with a muddy-shelled roach, and vaguely he realizes that he has no idea where he’s going.
Send me a word and if it's in my WIP, I'll post a little something
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windupaidoneus · 4 months ago
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pondering. how hilde felt picking up drk. one of emet's canon classes. did it feel familiar... did he feel some measure of embarrassment when he didn't perform well enough. when fray would get upset with him did he instinctively shut him down because he would expect someone else to nag. someone who he could not even begin to put a name or face on, it just feels like something... innate. this reflex to bite back defensively when he messes up while watched by someone more skilled than him in something. he's not prideful by nature but something within him just pushes him to have some sort of ego when it comes to this in particular
& how he felt when entering ktisis hyperboreia & here emet, "great sorcerer of eld", expected black mage, goes & conjures his weapon of choice for the occasion - a greatsword he's putting to use to protect his party members with the power of the darkness within, though he wouldn't readily admit to it
#ffposting#hildemet#yeah im thinking yea. u could say that i am contemplating.#the lore might be changing a bit again. nothing too major just which points where emet makes his presence known#like in his mind. possible that by the time hilde goes back in time he hasnt been able to sense emets presence#or communicate with him for a bit so hes experiencing all of it on his own as the game intends#yeah im engineering this for it to be as painful as possible for him. to see what it is it felt he'd forgotten#only to see it be emet's turn to forget someone - something so important to him#& he can do nothing about it. can't run to him & explain everything again. & he sure can't talk to present day emet abt it#bc present day emet is presumably back in the aetherial sea (he is but also not. mostly dormant & building energy back up)#elpis truly made hilde feel so hopeless & like. he Really felt the effects of Dissociative Disorder. & past life shit.#made him feel so fragmented. which he is. & everything he wanted within his grasp felt like itd long slipped from him#& hes supposed to just go back & save the world now. i can tell you one thing & its that ardbert did a lot of latter half edw#hes had emets soul (or part of it. to avoid unpleasant side effects) within him since post seat of sacrifice... & now its like hes gone#but he also never fully truly believed it was actually emet there. he figured hed just. made him up. worst factive split#it was weird. emet was clearly himself but hilde has trouble trusting his judgement ... & is used to his brain doing weird shit#ahhh anyway. yeah. drk is soo fun for him haha (takes long drag from fake cig)
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koneko-chan · 4 months ago
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TMAP 23 SPOILERS////
i've been saying for weeksss gwen and alice are the only people who can match each other's freak!!
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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
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"The person responded that it is true that Xianzhou people like large and strong pets, but there are also those who love petite and delicate ones. Now that he saw the sparkle in my eyes, he expected that I must be the latter"
#This man is one of those big guys with a kitten or a chihuahua‚ isn't he?#He is actually adorable and it makes the pictures of him softly handling birds while he looks at them with extreme tenderness gain layers#I love that he had read about the grimalkin in old texts‚ so appropriate. And that he was suspicious of the scam‚ so fitting#I found very cute that he made a comment about it not being an invasive species#But I adore that he couldn't turn down the offer 'after petting those tender little paws'. Truly this man is adorable haha#He called it 'Mimi' because he expected it to be cute and tiny and he got himself a lion this man is absurd and adorable I can't xD#And I love how he is not fazed by much including public opinion. How he says to Fu Xuan that about him facing the consequences as a joke#but perhaps with some truth and how he says here 'Qingzu was worried that could be bad for me‚ but I didn't think too much of it#and told her not to worry. In my opinion‚ «The Glutton General» sounds more impressive than «The Dozing General»'#Oh I love him so hahaha#However everything is cancelled. Not Jing Yuan‚ Blade‚ Fu Xuan‚ Sampo or Jingliu. My favourite character is Qingzu. We stan a funny liar#The reference to Doraemon got me lol#I can't stop thinking about Jing Yuan holding Yanqing with such tenderness in the context of these lines#And the birds. And the Yanqing—birds... parallelism? which I love. What a soft lovely man he is haha#Truly they did his character a disservice with the imposing general voice in the English dub#It's almost worth playing in Chinese for that alone#Jing Yuan#I talk too much#I can't believe he got scammed into buying a lion because he thought he was buying something small#He truly is one of those extremely stupid highly intelligent people‚ eh?#I couldn't love him more haha I find him so funny and endearing#He seems to have stopped because the cat was small and cute and he thought no one was going to buy it at first too?#He is really adorable and I can't stop thinking about Yanqing in this context
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vxctorx · 11 months ago
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//Nudes you say? Richard wishes to offer Vic some semi-nudes then 😏//
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❝—When did you get so...❞ It appears that the gentleman is rather at a loss for words. ❝—Well, you have clearly been taking good care of yourself, which is...lovely to see.❞
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elytrafemme · 2 years ago
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the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years. 
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 months ago
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withering whenever it's like "can't believe they did this Horror in tv y7 media" type thing When what that means is "made a reference to r rated horror movie" like can't believe an evident approximation of Recognizably Specific character or sequence or whatever is in there. like why not. and why is that in & of itself Impressive like well is the scene actually good / is whatever the Reference is being used for effective even without going "i get that reference." do we expect a kid to get the reference. do we expect it to be that motivating to be like "oh shit here it comes. clapping & cheering for Getting The Reference which is the only reason i showed up" like i fucking guess. that "yes, i too Get The Reference" motivation sure Apparently existing but it's so alien(tm) to me (oh my God this media that's not Teens & Up showed a Xenomorph(tm) (but not (tm) so as to be sued?) how?? &, the vision of this, i guess) like does the thing (oh my god. another generally recognizable horror movie. or movie poster) make sense if you don't go "ah, i know exactly what's being referenced :)", is there any broader Effect even if you do Get It. idgaf about clapping b/c They Said (A) Thing i recognize from other media & can like turn & be like "ah did you recognize this as well? delightful" like help. agonizing even if it Doesn't have any meaning If You Do Not Get It. was horrified myself at some interview doing a billions(tm) style Movie Quotation to expand on what someone said by going "oh it's like that scene in movie where she says quote & does moment that makes a trailer" & i was like yeah i do know that material but why was that Specifically invoked to make a point so generic it's barely relevant to that elaborate interruption....like that obviously i think it can be a lot of fun if someone is like "ah i too know that thing" but only if that leads to relevant in depth shared enjoyment of Some sort of specific element. not like oh hell yeah high five over the most superficial thing, or it being a bummer / Shame if you Don't too know that thing, who give a shit. i've never seen anything ever. but preexisting References / whatever passed around description/invocation of peak recognizable / memorable / relevant element sure reach me such that like oh yeah i Know Of xyz sequence without having ever seen that thing. probably without necessarily realizing b/c it had any function in its source material without knowing "ah, this is a reference. & i know it" & like there's no [wow this is a reference to whatever] that would motivate me in & of itself, i think the peak motivation was this sweet spot of like, i was Barely Online before being fourteen & already liked things as an individual experience so the idea that there were other people Liking & Knowing the same thing seemed a lot more impressive for a time lol. but it would still have to be specific enough, might've been like "ooh a reference to thing??" several times & then been like okay that wasn't that rewarding lol
obviously a matter of Taste like idc it's grating to me but have fun with [a reference??] revelry, i'm not making a specificass blog post to an audience of Four with this drive like "oh how i wish that this was Illegal" just like idgaf about wordplay/pun haters like whee yippee i'm a connoisseur, we're obviously having different experiences, i'm meanwhile also having the experience that i don't give a shit about Getting a reference alone or along with anyone else, regardless of any other effect [that which happens to be a reference] has / is used for. or it's like the Huh, What, of "when i like i song i'll memorize at least part of it probably, i like to sing along, if not Extra liking it & memorizing Most or All of it, perhaps with extra effort" (me) vs other people like huh wha i've never memorized a song in whole, much less on purpose, b/c i liked it. vs even if there's a song i really like (like a source material being referenced that i really like) i'm not gonna respond to Just The Title or effective title like half line from the refrain or anything, unsung. gimme a karaoke moment. idk
#perfect example that wasn't even what made me think of this but Just Today i back recognized a kid's media ''''horror'''' reference#during distinctly a sequence i recognized as a classic ''if you weren't playing this for comedy obv the next route would be horror'' sitch#fop:anw ep one where they're explaining their human bodies aren't Real. went Yeah That's A Comedically Striking Visual#about having a hole punched right through the abdomen & w/like jellybean filling lol. again only today did i see Oh that was a ref then#due to seeing a death becomes her visual due to the musical lol. In Retrospect going oh okay now yeah haha Just Like Cosmo. but like#it doesn't matter lol you didn't have to go ''just like a whole different thing i've already seen'' it was already fun/ny / effective#like yeah when taking in a Background Design i noticed ''ah that's The Shining carpet'' like does not matter. wilhelm scream floor#kinda fun sure but it's like unimportant lol. or i'm certainly not like oh shit oh fuck the thee shining movie carpet inspired carpet yayyy#but i also don't like or respect that movie. i've never seen death becomes her but i probably like or respect it more already#anyway what Did prompt this post was just indeed [can you Believe tv y7 media did recognizable horror character / moment. Amazing] reports#like yeah i can believe it. i wish there was any other appeal there? & how is it amazing or that Bold. you can just do that.#maybe it Is fun if you do but not b/c the fun is strictly that of Recognition As From Something Else You Have Seen like help#it also doesn't help like Crickets re: me liking or respecting much of the Ah True Adult Horror i've seen / know of in any depth#but i also don't enjoy [do you Get It?] references to things in whatever other genres due to Getting It. or things i Do like / respect#just also an extra disappointment like interesting when horror is made For Kids b/c there's an extra relevance to it#[status: kid] being graced with an inherent horror. & you can't like default to ''would [gore] be fucked up or what'' like Sigh; Yes#so when it's like ''ooh reporting this development in horror made for younger audiences: [do you recognize adult horror]'' like cmon#obviously will probably pair with anything at all fileable as horror sequence but like. i don't need Any focus on Reference Time then#like was actually interesting to go back & read a goosebumps book i'd never read the other year re: gtm:pota purposes#did i find it Scary to me; the adult reader? no not really. neither did rereading books i found more intense at like age 9 & all#but that doesn't mean i go ''well i was just Wrong at the time; then'' or like i needed to or did expect the same effect now#i mean i also experience whatever Horror For Adults & at most i can expect [wheee aaaa] moments & the occasional More unsettling ones#but those latter ones are more an invocation/implication of something that's indeed disturbingly unsettling#which don't tend to involve any like Immediately Recognizable Static Visual so much. well anyway
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strikersin · 5 months ago
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If my Actual Real Life Father saw this blog I wouldn't even be able to die. I would just live. LOL. At that point I guess we have different things to worry about .
But I can see his confused and perplexuated reaction . Haha. It's actually cute
#hello demons.#demons: heyyyy michael#spit take#OKAY let's get into it. basically i am an adult now and i have had my privacy respected as far as i know for a few years#however. it's been violated enough that it's really hard to trust that (impossible challenge). so like either i can Do This.see what happens#or i can behave in only socially acceptable ways (not post at all and not exist) which i already tried for years on end haha. didn't work?#well yes it did <4 i was extremely isolated.#OH HI BROTHER thanks for the wind. in the bathroom for some reasons. aha#^ speaking of this guy? he makes me pee sometimes. i will elaborate#auughauughh it's just it would be really bad and FYO SAID DADDY OVER THE PHONE. I knew this would happen.#i actually cringe so hard im so glad im one of us that accepts being in a system because <3 i cannot deal with that.#anyway it was never addressed and let's hope it never is. or that everyone's dream incest fantasy comes to life. writing that down jusincase#hahahahaha. i would die im going insane over this!#well. cmon. she was terrified and it was like world ending kinda. Like If We Weren't So Sick we would have killed . no we would have lived.#but it would have been hell!#hello Little brother possessing a gnat. i see you. ig logically this means i should take the trash out.#soon .#Norway gahgahgah i can't Believe she did that. it could have DesTroyed everything. but so far it didn't.#I'm not going to say he didn't notice it because we've Never Said That In Our Lives but hopefully it's overshadowed or forgotten or#god forbid. touching#(yeah touching MYSEL— aw i ruined it? damn)#great work everyone
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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 9 months ago
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sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy
#it's in the tags anyway so#SO#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right#(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before)#(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever)#and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that#so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia#so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead#(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again)#and i kind of just realized#the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL#OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE#sort of. like an engineering masters.#except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research#but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all.#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams#and my exams went WELL#the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen#i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified#to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people#and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well#and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie#(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him)#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some#oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right...#and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school#i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my#bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in#space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.
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daenysx · 6 months ago
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hi! how about remus lupin with a shy reader? or something along those lines haha thank you and have a nice day :)
thank you for requesting!! <333 requests are open
remus lupin x fem!reader, fluff
"morning, dove" someone whispers against your ear. there's a kiss brushed on your cheek. you bury your face further into the pillow with a soft hum. the person in question chuckles.
you blink your eyes open. "remus?"
remus smiles, he leans on his elbow as he looks at you with lovesick eyes. "good morning."
he's in your room. on your bed. he sees your sleepy face and your messed up hair. god, he's so pretty and you-
"morning, remus." you jump from bed, your cheeks blushed under his playful eyes. "um- how did you-"
"shelby let me in."
you can't believe you forget you live with a roommate. how else would he be here? "oh- right." you mumble.
"i'm sorry, did i make you uncomfortable?" remus asks, he sits properly to look into your eyes.
"no!" you say, panicking. "no, of course not. i just- i wasn't expecting you and i'm-"
"so pretty." he says. his eyes are so easy to get lost in.
you shake your head. "um- i just, i'm gonna go to the bathroom, 5 minutes."
remus chuckles behind you, he leans back to your headboard.
you have a small bathroom mirror but it doesn't hide how blushed your cheeks are. "come on." you mutter to yourself. you can't help it, your stomach fills with butterflies whenever you see remus. having him on your bed, waking you up? both a dream and a nightmare apparently. you wash your face with cold water, such a poor attempt to calm down.
you leave the bathroom with slow steps, remus is in your kitchen now. he holds a coffee mug in his hand, you hear the sound of coffee machine. he extends a hand to you, long fingers covering your entire hand when you touch him.
"shelby left." remus says, pulling you closer to him. "i'm sorry again. i thought i'd surprised you."
you try to control your heartbeat enough to kiss your new boyfriend. it's only been two weeks but remus is a charming guy. he made his way into your heart quickly, you don't even know how to react to him most of the time. it's all too exciting- his every word and every touch.
"you don't have to say sorry." you say, lifting your chin. "i was surprised, so it worked."
remus leans down to close your height difference. "can i kiss you?"
you do something in between nodding and smiling. he presses his lips against yours and you close your eyes. you don't think you can manage to see his pretty face so close to yours right now. remus holds your waist to get you closer. you sigh happily into the kiss.
"you look so beautiful by the way." he whispers between two lovely kisses. "when you try to keep sleeping, when you frown against the pillow."
"please." you whisper. he should stop if he wants you alive in his arms.
remus kisses you so sweetly, you think you really need a cup of coffee to get back to yourself. his now free hand cups your cheek to rub the sensitive skin, the other hand still on your waist. you bring your hands to his neck, realizing he enjoys the kiss as much as you do. he is warm, your fingertips rest against his skin.
you have to stop for a minute or you'll lose your mind. can you get addicted to kissing someone? his lips are testing your patience early in the morning, his hands are whole another issue. remus smiles when you break the kiss, he brushes his lips against your forehead to keep you in his arms.
totally buried in remus's chest, you stand in the center of your kitchen. the smell of coffee is tempting but you can't separate yourself from remus. stolen seconds of the morning with him, is it possible to spend every early hours of your days like this now? your poor heart will not take it.
"what do you wanna have for breakfast?" he asks with a low voice.
"coffee." you say against his chest, lifting your head up to see him.
he laughs. "coffee's not a breakfast, sweetheart. tell me something with actual food."
you nuzzle closer to his chest. "avocado toast? and i got blueberries from the store yesterday."
"perfect." he says. "can i make your toast for you?"
"do you want to?" you ask with a stupid smile on your face. god, you're falling in love.
"of course i want to." he says. "okay, breakfast game, you'll sit on the counter and tell me where everything is as i prepare our toasts."
he lifts you quickly, you can see his eyes properly now that you're almost the same height.
you part your legs instinctively, your eyes on the ground. remus stays right there, standing in front of you with your thighs under his big hands. you want to kiss him like this so badly. you wish you can ask him without getting shy but it feels impossible for now.
"what's that?" he asks, his head following every move of yours. "what's with the pout, angel girl?"
are you pouting? you don't realize. you wanna kiss him.
"kiss?" you whisper. remus smiles. you blush. he kisses you, his lips move against yours delicately. his morning kisses are perfect, there's no rush, they are simply slow and passionate. he rubs the soft flesh of your thighs, you follow his lead on kisses.
he breaks the kiss this time. "we gotta eat something or else i'm gonna faint."
you kiss him for one more second. "it's okay, i'll take care of you."
"yeah?" he asks against your lips. "such a tempting little thing you are, and it's only 9 am."
your cheeks heaten up again but it's nothing unusual now. remus looks at you with barely open eyes, you swallow. he takes a step back, taking the mug he had in his hand earlier.
"coffee?" he asks, like he hasn't played with your heartbeat seconds ago. you manage to nod.
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poseiben · 2 years ago
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