#can’t wait to do my relisten and have it kill me fully

[cream-and-tea]

okay it’s been like basically two days i think i’ve fully processed the finale i think i’ve gotten over it you guys– (<- remembers faulkners immediate panic when he realized carpenter was hurt) (<- remembers paige’s immediate panic when she realized hayward was at the grace) (<- curls into a ball and begins to whimper like a wounded beast)

[moookar]

Finished it over a week ago. Been coping. I am visibly a different person than when I started Balance. Aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu <- wailing of a beast who likes fictional characters too much. Picked up the comics—only been able to get my hands on Rockport Limited and Petals to the Metal but I enjoyed them very much—Clint McElroy did an amazing job adapting them. After I read the comics the hyperfixation brainrot soaked in too much. Normally I have a rule of I must wait at LEAST 3 months before relistening to a podcast so I don’t wear it out but I’m already on episode 31 again…

anyway BLORBO LIST TIME!!!!! In order of who comes to mind first

MAGNUS BURNSIDES 💞💞💞💞💞💞

He made me cry THREE TIMES. I judge how much I like certain media on how miserable it makes me and you know what? Magnus made Balance pass with flying colors. I think about him a lot.

LUCRETIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🥲🥲🥲🥲 sometimes I think about her late at night and I stay awake. What a sympathetic character. Nothing but respect for Griffin McElroy. I can’t figure out how to draw her yet and it’s killing meeee

ANGUS MCDONALD!!! I don’t need to explain myself.

TAAKO!!!!!!!!! pulling at hair… I miss him so much…. I fully and genuinely understand that there is no more story left to tell here but I need MORE of him!!!!!! I have most of the bonus episodes saved, unlistened, for a rainy day, so I’m excited to crack those open. What a banger character ty ty ty. Also whenever im playing D&D and think about the transmutation school i weep a little. Just for him.

LUCAS MILLER!!!!! 😭😭❤️💞💞🫡🫡🫡👀🥵🥰🥰🥰!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I even need to fucking explain myself here it’s LUCAS MILLER BABEY!!!!!!!! THE HUBRIS!!!! THE SELF CONFIDJNCE!!! THE DOING ANYTHING FOR THOSE YOU LOVE!!!! THE BELIEF THAT IF THE WORLD WAS PUT INTO YOUR HANDS YOU COULD FIX IT!!!!!!!!!! THE SILLY VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! quite possibly my fav of the entire series. the upsy mech slayed. I miss him so dearly.

LUP!!!!!

THIS ONE IS OBVIOUS,,,, there’s this writing advice where you should introduce EVERY important character before the halfway point in the story otherwise your audience is going to feel cheated, right? Griffin McElroy saw that rule, spat on it, and the world is the BETTER for it. HOW DID HE DO IT?? That’s like !,, writing rule #1!, how… how.. how did he still make her likable and meaningful and such an important and amazing character??????? Holy shit. I draw her all the time. Thank you for existing Lup. She is so cool.

MERLE HIGHCHURCH!! Eddie put every idea I could ever have about him into one coherent thought: “He’s so charming!” Auuuuuuug aauuuuuuuuu uuuuuuaggg 🥲🥲 “are you my friend” aaaaaauuuu hhhhhhgggffff eeeeehhhbbbvvvv i am a shell of a man

KRAVITZ!! self explanatory. He is the most beautiful man in the world to me.

DAVENPORT!!!!! i was shaking so hard i don’t even rememebrr the exact quote but: joyfully yours. Joyfully yours. Ohhhhhhhhh ohhh oh. Ohhhhohohoh. I draw him all the time. I miss him i wish he had more lines i wish i could give him a little kiss i am so glad he is ok.

BARRY BLUEJEANS!!!!!!! oh fuck i miss him. I hope everything is great for him forever. I wish he was real so I could give him a little kiss on the cheek. This is only not in all caps because when i think about him im too emotional and just pass into all lowercase. That quote thats like.. “i mean it cant be LOVE i’ve only known … her… [dawning horror]…. 21 years…” he was so real for that. I am the worlds #1 barry and lup shipper. He is the worlds silliest little guy he is my babygirl AND babyboy AND malewife. Ty ty ty

this podcast found new ways to gut me. Thank you the mcelroys. (Thinking about the drowning in static.)

STAGGERS. i prommy im not gonna livepost but this entire time i thought taako was an npc… like i thought he had random-side-character-that-got-adopted-by-the-party energy…

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 11-15

So this round already has two other posts out of it about Oliver because he Bae.

These have alot of ideas regarding entities changing around reality, controlling non victims to set the stage, and turning around what people love most to their worst fear. Also insane abilities of the crew to obtain hard to access info and evidence! And some more Jon sass. Enjoy!

11 dreamer

Wow this episode had alot. I made a separate post with a theory about Oliver's statement here and a realization regarding him and Jane Prentiss here. They are alot to unpack

Oliver is so. Freaking. Relatable! Learned economics and hated it. Nearly had a breakdown like him because of it. "going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans." yep. That.

Boyfriend Graham ey? You notebook eating Graham?? Wow that guy is full of surprises.

I love the dream sequences and their descriptions it's a really beautiful thing to try and picture.

Its interesting how he went from passive to desparate to passive again about death. He tries but can't help. I wonder when the dreams started to bother him so much he sought after the silence of point Nemo. Was it when they became so full of red because of the apocalypse coming closer? Hmmm

Another person named John. I guess that makes sense it's a common name. But I forgot how many people are fully named in this podcast. Hundreds of names to come up with! Jonny I'm quite impressed!

He worked with Jane Prentiss in the magic shop! I can't believe I forgot about that! Wow small avatar world indeed.

"It led me to a room, the label of which was still visible, and read “Archive”. I entered to see walls covered with shelves and cabinets stretching off into the distance. These shelves were coated in a sticky black tar, which I knew at that moment was the thickened, pulpy blood that pumped through each and every one of those veins." everything that has to do with the Fears I bet. Full of death and destruction and stolen from the veins to be out on display for the Eye's pleasure.

Yo Jon is scared of this he's seriously considering going to Elias for advice

" I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke" wait. He trusts TIM? Not to do a practical joke? How. Why. Eh?

"died in the line of duty" fuck you Jonah.

Now Jon will get every new statement immediately when it's made. Perhaps this was Elias' intention all along. To scare him into making sure he does not miss any paranormal activity recorded by the institute.

12 first aid

I'm not immune to more Gerry badassery, hell yeah

And we get polish Martin which hell yeah! Even if Jon doesn't believe it. I'm sure he's repressing the fact that he's thoroughly impressed.

I think it's really interesting the effect entities have on people who are decidedly not their victims. Everyone leaving no questions so the entity can set the scene for the scare. Like with Gillespie how no one lived in the apartment building he was in etc. Alot of work into a handful of people being genuinely scared.

Gerry's burns stopped at the neck? How did he manage that. Also it's hilarious to imagine that he's like "yes burn all of me but please. not my goth makeup"

Zippo lighter with eye design!! And Jon has web design! They are brothers (joke but still really interesting)

Liquids were boiling around her and she didn't feel the heat. Also an interesting effect just for the scare.

Gerry got eye superpowers like Jon if he can function while injure and filled with painkillers.

“Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame.” Gerry knew she'd be haunted by a Fear from that day on and realised that perhaps being watched would be easier for her specifically to deal with than the Desolation. I guess that's a way of assessing people. Which fear would least bother you.

Jon is already enamoured with Gerry you can tell. He can't wait to hear more from him. Just you wait Jon.

They really can access alot of information huh. CCTV Interviews files. Pretty impressive for a non-research team. They're so good at it they'd rather do that than actual archiving.

13 alone

The sound editing in this episode is not that great it was a bit to get used to.

We get a glimpse at the Lukases which is... Ugh

Jon is actually trying to be nice. Granted it's not working and she is a bit of a standoffish person herself who just went through a bad time but alot of her reactions are not his fault. He was trying to be considerate giving her space to record but he did stay when she asked.

She had already leaned into the Lonely before the incident it's interesting to see how some of these statements start with a person actually liking the aspect that later turns to fear. Same happens in lost johns' cave.

Evan Lukas sounds like an avatar of the exact opposite of the Lonely. At least to her. That's a really interesting effect from someone, especially a Lukas.

But maybe dying wasn't his family killing him but him not feeding his patron which he tried to leave. Really tragic.

She was in Martin's domain eyyy!

It's got a bit of buried aspects to it with the grave stuff and all.

"My fingers dug into the soft cemetery dirt as I looked around desperately for anything I could use to save myself, and my hand closed upon that heavy piece of headstone. It took all my self-control to keep a grip on that anchor, as I slowly dragged myself away from the edge of my lonely grave." The headstone was her anchor? But it said forgotten. I wonder how it helped her pull away. It probably had to go together with Evan's voice. Like the rib and the tape recorders having to work together! I just wonder what meaning the stone had for her.

"I’d be tempted to chalk this one up to a hallucination from stress and trauma, if it wasn’t for the fact... " God he does believe her heavens. He's not a skeptic!

This is when Jon's dreams start which... Good luck Jon.

14 piecemeal

Rentoul is terrifying sonofabitch and I would never want to meet him irl

I remembered them talking about how he was supposed to be a person who cursed alot and they couldn't do it because of sensor and I have to agree this could have been much better for the story. I tried imagining curses in some places.

LOL Jon reading this is funny. Trying to voice act the bad boy. Doesn't sound right on his voice.

With these kinds of statements happening alot where the person does something bad, the institute has to be in touch with police over them. The nda has to include that.

Hello Angela! I really wonder what her deal is. She scared the bid bully so she gotta have creepy vibes to the extreme.

Another lighter! Hmm do I have to start following the lighter motiff in this podcast. This one has a topless woman on it. Flesh lighter?

Salesa's also appearing that's cool! Noriega was probably looking for an artifact to reverse the curse. Didn't work tho since they left with the crate. The buried crate perhaps?

I'm wondering. Was this written? Because the statement sounds like he's talking. If so, Where's the recording?

Oh Jon your attitude towards Martin is so bad. He works so hard and it's not even in what he's good at, sorting and filing like he knows how to do from the library. God.

What's the deal with all the furniture gone? Did he think it'll help not get injured? He's not that smart if he thought that would help him.

15 lost Johns' cave

Ack a bad statement she was not a good person all around

Another example of the entities setting the stage by controlling others not to interfere with the victim's experience.

Also another example of the person liking the subject (cave exploration in this case. And the dark for that matter) only for it to turn against them.

Not much to say about this one other than its one of the scarier ones for sure. And her recording in the end is really the cherry on top. There is alot of discrepancy between what she believed happened and what actually did which shows how much the fear plays with and changes around reality. That's also how she manages to lie in a statement to Beholding. It wasn't a lie. It was her version of reality and she did not remember saying those awful words.

Taught me alot about cave diving and how much I will never do it in my life.

The Dark was mixed into this as well so it wasn't purely Buried.

Btw Where did she get the candles she was found with?

It feels like she made a choice. Didn't want to spend her last moments with her sister and then didn't want to die. She chose her sister to be taken over her. Her sister called for help and the candle coming closer might have been her! But she just shut her eyes.

How did Tim gain access to the recording?? Wow that's some prime evidence.

Martin is claustrophobic amongst other things huh? Live how Jon just dismisses this as an excuse not to work. At least he didn't push it.

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[lamiralami]

TMA Retro 1: Angler Fish

So I was wistfully scrolling through the calendar to April for the third time in five days when the math added up: if I were to listen to an episode The Magnus Archives a day, it would just about carry me through to season five (give or take a couple weeks depending on when the premiere date lands). A retrospective relistening, giving myself the time to pay attention to all the details I missed on my initial devouring. And an excellent way to fill the long and lonely days until Jonny Sims rises from his crypt to kill us all. Anyway! I’ll be doing a post-per-episode-per-day, tagged tma retro - all and sundry are welcome to participate!

Let’s get down to it with MAG 1: Angler Fish

well actually, rewind a bit. let’s listen to some trailers 

starting out strong with some spooky chanting, a dire warning, and Jon being a huge bitch about Gertrude. also this guy Jacob had the right of it. you should have tried listening to his warnings about Beholding instead of complaining about some messy files Jon my boy! 

“I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I am going to peel him.” out of that jumper? 😏

I just really like picturing the Day Martin Brought a Dog Down to the Archives. do you think it was a little dog and he managed, through increasingly wacky hijinks, to keep Jon from finding out for most of the day (with the help of Sasha and Tim, after letting them in on the scheme of course)? or was it a big dog that ran around knocking over shelves and boxes, sending statements flying while the Archives staff gave (ineffectual) chase, except for Jon who climbed on top of his desk because he’s afraid of big dogs and tried to obfuscate this by shouting prodigiously?   

seriously, is there fic of this? there ought to be so much fic of this.

right off the bat, Jon is such a disdainful prick and it’s delightful. in the first few minutes he manages to imply that most of the other employees of the Institute are too lazy to do archival work, rips into Gertrude and her lack of a filing system, and basically calls Martin an idiot. 

this totally plays into why Elias chose him as Archivist. he needed someone to go around collecting marks from the powers, and here he has a man who’s demeanour invites everyone he comes in contact with to punch him in the face. it fits so well it feels like a trap. (it is probably a trap, can’t wait for this to bite you in the ass Elias) 

definitely getting the impression that the Archives are seen as, shall we say, the redheaded stepchild of the Institute - “an impeccably organised library and an absolute mess of an Archive.” which becomes, just, so hilarious when you think about what’s to come from the rest of the Institute’s perspective. worm attacks, murder investigations, discovering corpses of former employees and mysterious bonus corpses. everyone else at the Institute fucking hates the basement weirdos and their constant disruptions. 

and then Jon mutters about “making excuses” and my heart breaks for him (not the first time, not the last). he’s hopelessly unqualified for this job, and he must have felt such pressure to get the Archives into good order. hence him grabbing a couple researchers (and Martin) to pad out the investigation work so how fucked the Archives are doesn’t come to the attention of the “ivory tower academics” in the rest of the Institute, and being so angry at and judgemental of Gertrude and the state she left the place in. he wants to be a good Head Archivist, and he doesn’t know how, so he has to bluster and cover everything with pompousness and disdain and blame and scepticism, trying to come off as a Real Boss. Jon tries so hard. it’s at the core of who he is. 💔

love the sound of “Old Fishmarket Close.” that name has spooky mood lighting.

it is fun to imagine how this looked to the angler fish. they’re chilling, waiting for a snack, got a skin ready to go, when this guy tumbleweeds himself down the street to crash land on their literal doorstep. eldritch fear equivalent to uber eats. 

oh ho ho, the statement giver refers to the figure as “the stranger” several times! dammit Jonny you beautiful bastard!

there’s also some puppet imagery, with the figure swaying and dangling, and being folded and pulled back “like a string had gone taut.”

also wonder if there’s a link or warning here about the smoking? smokers were the angler fish’s prey, and Jon’s smoking and web lighter have been brought up a few times but never fully dug into, yet. hmm. 

I cannot emphasize enough how much Jon’s voice is dripping with contempt any time he’s not reading a statement. he is such a little punk! I love him!

Jon sounds like it’s physically paining him to say “LOL,” the septuagenarian vibes are emanating from this man

Sasha establishes herself early as a competent and technically adept assistant, therefore marking herself for death. RIP, we stan forever 

[aneilert]

The One With Everything [MAG158: Panopticon]

This episode was delayed almost 20 hours, sending the whole early-access-community into a gradually deafening frenzy even before it launched. And then it took off for real. 

The rest of the day has been a bit of a blur, to be honest, and if I’ve done anything not connected to relistening and speculating, then at least I can guarantee that neither my brain nor my heart was involved in it.

It’s hard to be eloquent when faced with this much content. I have raved elsewhere about the quality as well as the sheer quantity of content this episode can boast, but I’d like at least to post my List of Things We Had Expected, Hoped For and/or Dreaded and that happened, were confirmed or who returned in this episode:

1. Tim mention and grief

The fandom has never stopped grieving Tim Stoker, and every once in a while, someone will sigh about how they miss him and how much they wish his death would be at least mentioned on the show. Did he have no impact? Have they forgotten him? Well, canon has spoken: They have not. 

2. Not!Sasha coming back

I can honestly say I never spent much time on the theories that muttered about how she had been enclosed in the tunnels and probably still was there. My bad. I will certainly never again forget the old rule that if someone (or something) doesn’t die on camera (as it were), they’re not dead. (And fuck were those amazing voice distortions!)

3. Leitner’s book coming back

Don’t forget where you put your evil book. It might not be there anymore when you come back for it a year or two later. (The blood on it, btw? Also Leitner. That bit was hilarious. I despise Peter, but he has brought some of the funniest lines this season; «In my defence, it’s still quite funny» is my personal favourite.)

4. Elias escaping prison

We didn’t think anything was keeping him there longer than he wanted to, and we were right; it was just a matter of timing. He would never want to come sneaking back if he could be making an Entrance.

5. Jonah!Elias

Probably the most popular fan theory (apart from those concerning various ships) is canon. And what a deliciously disturbing visual it is; Jonah Magnus’ eyeless body aging in the Panopticon while his eyes do what they have always done: watch over his Institute. Never has Elias sounded more smug and delighted with himself than in this episode, and you know what? Much as I hate him, I’d say he’s earned it.

6. Elias/Peter meeting

Trust fandoms to make feverish ships built out of characters who have never interacted in canon. And boy, do the LonelyEyes shippers feel vindicated today! Not only did the two horrible old men finally interact, but their dynamic was revealed to be exactly that of an old, dysfunctional and probably multiple times divorced couple. Even Jonny said so. 

7. Martin having A Plan / having played Peter

We love Martin and worry about Martin, and we have been extremely worried about his latest signs of being fully on board (sic) with Peter’s nebulous plan. Is he that naïve? Is he that far gone? Or … is he playing Peter? Is he weaving his own little web, like in the previous season, when he managed to play Elias?

The truth, as so often, is a place in between. He has been playing Peter (and God was that an amazing reveal and a heart-rending speech! And Christ was Elias gleeful when he reminded Peter that he had been warned not to underestimate Martin, but that he still did it!), but he has also been joining the Lonely. There is something to be said for being able to keep distance, I guess. Even though it makes me heartsick.

8. Tape with Gertrude’s death and last confrontation with Elias

This is something I have been wanted for some time now. Gertrude is awesome and marvellous and badass and truly scary, and I have been wondering: did her hubris kill her? How did Elias take her down? What happened? 

Well, now we know. Or … we know part of it. Gertrude’s body had three shots fired in it, but the tape only contained one. And the tape was numbered #0182509-A, hinting at possibly a B existing somewhere. Maybe we haven’t heard the last from Gertrude yet?

Also: How very satisfying it was to see that Gertrude had basically the same plan as Martin: Burn some Institute stuff to keep Elias from seeing the real threat! I love what this says about Elias’ complacency and underestimation when it comes to Martin (but I worry what yet another parallel with Gertrude might bode for his future …).

9. Peter taking Martin into the Lonely

The premise of a lot of fics. Can’t wait to see how it plays out in canon.

10. Hunters returning at an inopportune moment

We all, including Jon and the gang, knew they were out there and that it was just a matter of time. Still fun! (Particularly Trevor yelling JONNY BOY!)

11. Daisy going feral

Oh, this is hard; she wanted so much to be free of the Hunt. But honestly: this is why she was brought back, whether she (or Jon) knew it or not: To reconnect with her humanity, and then to give it up willingly to save her friends. And, why not, to have the savage joy of ripping out a few more throats while she’s at it. 

Will Basira honour their promise? Well, that’s a tale for another day, as the story says. For now, let’s just enjoy the amazing sound distortion on Daisy’s breath, her voice and finally her growl. Daisy scared fucking Julia Montouk, and not many can boast that.

12. Jon and Elias talk

It’s been a long time coming. It was not at all what I had expected in any way, but it was amazing. And Jon hardly even noted what Elias was saying or how he gloated, because he was 100 % focused on …

13. Jon following Martin into the Lonely

Of course he did. Of course. He went into the Buried to get Daisy, and he didn’t even like Daisy, and she tried to kill him. Of course there’s no limit anymore to how much he will risk himself for a tiny sliver of hope that he might save Martin.

I worry so for them, though. Martin has refused Peter’s plans, true enough, but he has not refused the Lonely. He has been sliding into Forsaken for Jon’s sake, but he has still been sliding into Forsaken! And Jon’s journey into monsterdom is if anything even more worrying and harder to reverse.They have both been trying desperately and without any real clue as to how to save the world for each other’s sake, but what have they given up along the way? 

Still. Jon clawed his way out of the Buried fuelled by Martin and by the signal from his rib. Who’s to say it might not work a second time?

Also: the one person we didn’t meet who I almost had expected, was Annabelle. Someone must have put this last tape on Jon’s desk – and someone must also, long ago, have given him that lighter that he never can focus on long enough to remember he has. Is there a silvery Web thread connected to it, where it lies in his pocket? Could he be able to follow that thread out again?

I have no idea. I also have no idea how I am supposed to wait for the next two episodes. Or how my head felt before this podcast ate my entire brain. 

[somuchbetterthanthat]

I’m sorry, I need somewhere to put my y e l l i n g. I keep going back to the “Please stop finding me” because the phrasing just seems so PURPOSEFUL. It puts Jon as the active pursuer and that agency it gives takes my breath away. Whether that connects to this anchor idea or maybe even something bigger. Being found means something was lost, so is that Martin also admitting to himself that Jon has lost him? “Please stop finding me.” And Jon thought dying was painful.

WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME SO MUCH PAIN OH MY GOD 

WAS EVERYTHING NOT PAINFUL ENOUGH ALREADY

1) Definitely shows that their relationship has shifted, and that now Jon is the one who Can’t Let Go; doesn’t want to let go, even if Martin is trying to avoid him/doing his own thing that requires Jon to stay away. This is such a powerful, painful reversal of season 2??? Where Jon tried to fend off Martin and his fussing, went behind everybody’s back (because he was scared, because of a mystery, whereas Martin is doing this because he was alone, because of people) and Martin just kept reaching out ANYWAY. Which - in a very odd way, paid off in season 3.

2) I mean, seriously, I haven’t reached that part of my relistening, but I have been going through several statements of season 3 trying to find back that anchor talk Jon and Georgie had, and Jon and Martin - actually exchange quite a bit? It’s awkward, no doubt, but even before Jon says “I’ve decided to trust them”… He already was reaching out again. Season 3 got the most Jon/Martin on More or Less Equal Footing Because they Both Have the Informations Necessary (well, post-Jon-is-Back i guess) than ever. 

3) “Please stop finding me” is PAINFUL AS HELL, and definitely a slap in the face, especially when Jon tells right after that he needs an anchor he’ll know where to find. But I don’t think Martin is telling Jon “you’ve lost me!” (i don’t WANT to believe that, okay). I think this is very much him saying “I can avoid you all I want, this has to be something we both do because when you find me, I want to stay.”)  The lonely can’t fully have Martin as long as Jon keeps clinging to him. And Martin is persuaded this is Not Good. But i’m sure Jonny has a very lovely, sweet, happy ending planned for us about that. :). :). :). 

4) Anchors. Jon. Martin. Parallels. Ways we can make this good: Jon tells his idea (To Basira, to Melanie, to anyone who’ll listen at that point, help). Hell; Jon manages to get Martin here long enough to tell him, but maybe not. Basira goes “I’ll do it” immediately, because - she did this once already. She walked out. But Jon shakes his head, because no - no, Basira’s anchor is already down there. He says it as kindly as possible, but Basira still bristles, still goes: “And where’s yours then? Do you even have any?” and Jon’s eyes flicker, and he says “Georgie. I’ve - got. Georgie.”

5) He goes down there. I don’t know what happens, but Daisy definitely tries to kill him, he avoids it, tries to grasp at Georgie, but Georgie escapes his knowledge, because Georgie lives beyond fear, and Jon, despite himself, is trying to use his brain here, not his heart; not yet. And then, when it all seems dire and awful, he tries to speak to Daisy about Basira, Basira who’s up there, waiting for her to come home - and just as he does, he thinks of Martin; Martin who said “Please stop finding me”; and he realizes he wants to find Martin. It’s not about getting out of there; it’s not about fears and god and saving the world; it’s about finding solace in the one person who’s always been there. It’s about wanting that cup of tea. That hand offered he’s never taken, that gentle assertiveness and fussing, it’s about yearning for awkward conversations and lunches and pink cheeks - and discovering more, wanting more, absurdely, WISHING he could have half of the bravery and moral compass Martin has; that inner strengh that has made him survive so many horrible things and yet still care…

6) and then he feels it; the pull; he grabs Daisy, keeps talking, voice tight, about Basira, but when they get out of the coffin, they’re not in front of Basira and Melanie anymore. Somehow, they’re in Elias’ office, and Martin is there, wide eyed and pale; “Jon” he says, and his voice is a little broken and awed and worried, and Jon wants to cry, but instead he gives a poor, weak smile and says “I know. I know. You said I shouldn’t find you anymore. But I think I just wanted to. Needed to.”

(bonus: just after, Daisy goes Feral right until Basira shows up, Melanie just behind her, and Daisy has of course attacked Jon again, but the second Basira says “Daisy” her voice flat because she’s got too much emotions to be able to process and show them, Daisy freezes, turns to her, and then she crumbles a bit, grabs Basira - does a weird hunt thing like smells her a bit? - but it’s mostly a hug really, at the end.) 

(Jon is injured. Falls on the floor, but he’s happy he thinks. He’s happy. At least Daisy gets to have her anchor with her; gets to touch her; gets to keep her. and then he falls unconscious cause he’s Jon. But he’s thinking about Martin. He won’t stop thinking about Martin. He can’t. Martin grounded him, and unconsciously or not, he pulled him back up.)

[sleepymarmot]

Twilight Mirage liveblog 4/5 (episodes 55-63)

55-56

Ha, Austin rereads the passage I just came back to relisten 

Yeah, this only proves the point that you can't put the wellbeing and infrastructure of an entire society on the shoulders of 300 people with superpowers, and the warmth of their personal relationship with the rest ot the people! Sorry, I can't make myself sad about this system that was ridiculous and inherently unsustainable from the start!

But how about… Not mean humans ~enslaving innocent Divines~ because they're not idealistic enough or too utilitarian or w/e… not the Divines going “Oh no the 30k years of our love weren't real! You only want us for our bodies! Guess we'll die” and flopping over… How about Divines actually step up and sacrifice themselves willingly for the common good, you know, the way countless humans have done in this universe across both arcs?! “They could be made to be what Candidates once were” Oh boo fucking hoo!

I'm just. Thinking of C/w finale and how unnecessarily brutal it was and how many people sacrificed themselves and others for the greater good. And you're telling me that the Divines and the entire Fleet as a society are too precious for that? And I don't mean sacrifice yourself like Belgard, I mean the bigger picture. A utopia that isn't for everyone isn't a utopia, etc, see that post about The Good Place that got a surprising amount of notes lol

Also count me as an Independence kin still. I would absolutely break up with someone over the right to die (then run away and make everyone really upset by my mere presence then behave in such a way they have to kill me, twice. Okay maybe not this part)

Honestly the whole concept of the Fleet sounds so toxic. It's like being fully financially dependent on your beloved parents forever.

Oh wait here's another thing I must rage about: they stopped making new Divines so that they wouldn't be enslaved! Here's a novel idea: how about instead making a Divine that could be turned into a more productive machine… you make that machine in the first place??? You know, how people in real life make machines to use instead of manual labor??

Like, the problem with Divines is a two-sided coin:

Flawed individuals should not possess inordinate amounts of power. They might abuse it, misuse or just use with good intentions but in controversial or questionable ways (see: the Divines in Counter/weight).

As a flip side, making an entire community almost fully dependent on labor of a small group of sentient beings of a separate species is an unfair burden to them, and even if it is provided willingly. The benefitters become dependent on providers, which is exacerbated by the latter's small numbers (the Fleet being thrown into a crisis by the loss of the final Divines and only coming out of it fine because another superpowered being happened to be nearby). The providers are put at risk of exploitation (the Divines of being “enslaved/killed”), especially since they are outnumbered. The benefitters’ genuine love for the providers is undermined and may eventually be corrupted and superseded by their vested interest in maintaining this arrangement -- but at the same time, wanting more resources is a natural thing and people cannot and should not be blamed for it. This relationship may be mutually beneficial (and it was for an astonishingly long time) but carries an inherent risk.

So Divines potentially have too much and too little power at the same time. Both of these problems could have been avoided if “a special kind of synthetic beings” and “algorithms and robots that provide unique services that form the backbone of society” were two separate things in the first place! Fine, you can't undo what happened tens of thousands of years ago under very specific circumstances and specific threat, but you could try to recognize the problem instead of building a community whose structure is bound to bring that problem to the forefront sooner or later. 

Okaaay, so where did the Divines that “didn't make the cut”, other than Independence, go? Is there a club of really bitter superpowered rejects somewhere?

I really don't get why Tender is having such a crisis

Austin and Janine are a pair of sadistic bastards lmao

I can't believe it's only been an hour into the episode, feels like an eternity (in a good way)        

On the one hand, it's nice that at least Anticipation was thinking about the things I wrote above. On the other, “They could be made to be what Candidates once were” becomes even more ridiculous, because Anticipation is using her excerpt like a candidate Right Now! In order to determine whether she and her kin should be used! 

Tender gets her own version of the “Independence makes Grand an offer he can't refuse” scene :D 

Okay, my first objection to “giving it to Sho” was “um, you want to waste that resource on becoming a museum piece?!” but my current one is, unlike the players' “Anticipation would hurt Sho”, is “do you really want to combine this with Sho's high-strung personality?”

Aaand Tender makes the right choice :D I'm glad.

Wow! This second episode has wildly exceeded all my expectations. What a ride

57-59 

No offense, but I wish the three episodes of “everything is Advent's fault somehow, again” didn't stand in my way to the much superior premise of “Grand Magnificent and Waltz Tango Cache rescue Fouteen from a newly arrived rival faction's flagship”. God, I hope this goes in some interesting unexpecting direction asap. 

Wait, was it ever mentioned that Echo's family is also separated onto the two planets? That's new to me, and it would have been relevant to the first post-Miracle arc. 

Gig making a bold move, getting hit with 4 stress at once and gaining a status at the beginning of the mission: 

Blease tell me someone has redrawn that Community gif with Echo entering the completely trashed ship. That's such a good image

The entire throwing maneuver and the rolls they got… Absolutely fucking crazy

I actually yelped out loud when Echo failed a fucking desperate roll inside the light beam

How come Echo's nanites were inactive before but got activated now? How does that work? 

It's strange how suddenly the show got intense again! The missions after the Miracle felt fun but unengaging for me, and I didn't expected it to pick up until the finale. So many ups and downs in this arc! Can't believe how quickly and often it went from “we basically won” to mortal danger in about one turn. The title should have been “Echo Reverie's Terrible, Bad, No Good Day”… Glad to see the theme of the weight of violence back. It feels very natural as a conflict between Even and Echo, but I wonder if later it would involve Grand Magnificent too – the discussion during Even's message for Cascabel reminded me of what I wrote after the holiday special.

60-61 

Being one of the only two party members doesn't suit Waltz, he has to act dumb for the sake of player agency 

I understand why Jack wants to see what the “new job” is about, but not why Fourteen does!

Ending the recap on “Now you're gonna go your separate ways, and everything's gonna fall apart” is, um, nice

Wait, why is Fourteen on their last life? And how would they know that?

Oh, here's the arms dealer Grand Magnificent I was waiting for lmao Although to be honest… That design wasn't that special in terms of military power, right? I remember the disussions of its complex appearance and the difficulty of shaping the material into this multifaceted sculpture, but it didn't have any innovative armor or weaponry, right? It's not like it's the first and only q-glass mech. I mean, setting aside the base problem that it might not be the most wise and ethical idea to give weapons to the amoral people for whom you just delivered a bomb (and are trying to ignore that fact) while they're tearing your friend's body apart, and that they would have settled for less… it's not like he gave them the part of the actual Divine Independence. I guess we'll see what Advent will do…

At some point Jack, I think, said that Grand is acting like Lem and I was like. Please don't. Can you not go into that direction in the future too please. I've already been concerned about his character arc since finishing Winter and this isn't helping!

Anyways today I had enough free time to listen to five episodes and now I'm hungover and also sad. I'm glad Grand Magnificent didn't suddenly become heroic but also this is depressing. Can't wait for everyone (minus him posssibly?) to finally meet and share the wild shit that happened to them recently. Tender is an excerpt! Fourteen is a knight and also on the brink of dying forever for some reason! Echo has fought in a civil war against their brother! Grand sold out to everyone's #1 enemy and left!

I don't really get ending episode on so much exposition… I understand the awkwardness of retelling an event that was intended to happen onscreen, but when Schism attacked, I assumed that fighting it would be the finale. On the other hand, I thought the same about the September Incident, and how happy I was to be wrong!

62-63

The downtime episode was excellent – exactly the thing I like! Two notes:

I can't be the only one bothered by the use of the word “fascist”, right? Greedy cynical bandits and graverobbers, capitalists, terrorists, whatever… but what does fascism do with any of that?

Everyone's plans for the future were pretty vague, but what I really didn't get was the heart of the debate between Signet and the Cadent. It sounded as if they were talking about the same thing with different words sometimes…

The doctor is Jace, correct? Rapid Evening, academic career, stratis, husband and wife, used to be rivals with someone named Rose? I had to relisten to the entire vignette looking for clues and trying to rememer anyone who would fit all of these descriptors.