#can’t just say mental illness is real and then get upset when we respond the same way a sick person would

[aurelxi]

i hate the sentiment that it’s unhealthy to say other people made you a better person. people constantly make mistakes, and they can’t fix those mistakes without communication, support and stumbling. the only reason i’m still here is because people didn’t give up on my recovery process. still there were way Way WAY more people that gave up on me and made me feel like shit for ending up like my mom. it didn’t help because then my only support systems were my abusers.

what i’m saying is people are hurting for reasons. people desperately want to get better. they want to recover. they want to kick addictions. there’s so much people want to fucking do that we can’t do alone and there’s nothing to be ashamed of for that.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Invisible Pain ~ Part 2

MAIN MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Reader

Word Count: 1,860ish

Summary: You struggle shopping for a dress.

Notes: this is Part 2 to my other story Invisible Pain. Please read it before reading this. This is based on an experience I had last week. I literally had a panic attack in the dressing room.

“Are you getting a new dress for Tony’s party on Friday?” Natasha asked as you and her finished working out together.

“I don’t know,” you responded. “You?”

“Yeah. Want to go together later?”

“Sounds great.”

It had been a few months since the team found out about your rheumatoid arthritis. They had all been extremely supportive and caring, as well as overprotective. It took you tattling to Fury to get Tony and Steve to let you train again. Not to mention Bruce’s constant check ups and blood tests. Tony had even upgraded your watch to make it easier on himself and Bruce to track everything.

During the time since your illness came out, you and Tony had also become an official couple. To no one’s real surprise. He was so sweet and understanding about your illness, and had truly read everything he could on the subject. You in turn were caring and understanding about his struggles with PTSD, like you had been when you were friends.

“Hey honey,” Tony greeted coming into your shared room as you were trying to get undressed. “Need help?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “You mind helping me undress? I’m struggling to get my shirt off.”

“Sure thing.” Tony came over and began taking your shirt off. “Are your shoulders bugging you today?”

“Yeah. I tried not to use them too much in training today, but I couldn’t help it.”

Tony shook it head slightly and clicked his tongue in disapproval. “You need to be more careful.”

“It’s just my shoulders today, Tony. And I took some meds before you came it. I’ll be fine.”

He sighed as he finished taking your shirt off for you, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder. “Do you need help in the shower?”

“I’ll be fine, Tony.” 

“You sure? Cause I can be of some help.”

“Maybe tonight.” You leaned in and gave him a small kiss. “I have to hurry so I can meet up with Nat. We’re going dress shopping for the party on Friday.”

“Oh? Need help?”

“Nope.”

“Will you send me a picture?”

“I’d rather not. I’m trying to see how speechless I can leave the great billionaire, playboy.” You walked into the bathroom with a wink, shutting the door behind you.

~~~

“How about this one?” Natasha wondered, holding up a dress.

“Sure, why not?” You replied, adding the dress to the growing pile in your arms. With your shoulders already aching, the rest of your arms were slowly following. “I think that I’m ready to go try them on now. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold all these.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you in the fitting rooms. I’m just going to take one more look around before I start trying some on.”

You nodded before heading to the fitting room. Entering one, you laid the dresses out of the bench along the wall. You locked the door before trying to undress yourself. You sucked in a breath and winced as your shoulders screamed at you to not take your shirt off. Biting down on your bottom lip, you pulled your shirt over your head anyway. 

Slightly panting in relief, your head feel back and your eyes closes. You were trying to mentally cope with the pain. Taking another deep breath in, and slowly letting it out, you looked down at the dress on top. You lifted it so that you could see the back, revealing a long zipper. You sighed, upset at yourself for not noticing it sooner.

Because of your arthritis, you were unable to reach your back. So you wouldn’t be able to zip up the dress. You lifted it up and looked it over, sighing once again. The dress wouldn’t be able to be slipped over your head either. Putting the dress to the side, you began going over the other dresses in the pile, finding the same issue with them as well. Leaning back against the wall, you slid down it and buried your face in your hands. Why couldn’t you like a dress with a zipper on the side? Or, the bigger question, why do you have to have arthritis? 

You began to silently cry and panic slightly. How were you ever going to get a dress and surprise Tony? How were you ever going to be able to go dress shopping alone? There was a slight buzz on your wrist and you knew FRIDAY was sending information on your condition to Bruce and Tony, but you didn’t care at the moment. 

You don’t know how long you were sitting on the floor like that before you were interrupted.

“Hey, in there,” Natasha called, knocking on the locked door. “How’s it going?”

“Umm, it’s fine,” you replied, not sounding very convincing.

“Yeah? Find anything yet?”

“Not yet… uh, nothing’s fitting or looking good.”

“Really? Why don’t you show me? Maybe your mind is deceiving you.”

“Thanks, Nat, but I’m good. I think I’m just going to get dressed and go home. I’ll just wear something I already have.”

“Are you sure? I can go grab someth—“

“I’m good, Nat. Really. If you found something, go buy it and I’ll meet you out front.”

“…Okay. Meet you out front.”

~~~

It was painful getting your clothes back on. You could tell that Natasha knew that something was wrong, but wasn’t willing to push you about it. You went straight to your room, locking yourself in the connecting bathroom. You quickly swallowed down some medicine before putting some arthritis rub on your shoulders. Taking a few deep breaths, you tried to touch your hands together behind your back. On hand was going over a shoulder, the other was trying from the lower part of your back. Checking in the mirror, you could see that there was about 5 inches separating your hands from meeting. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you tried to push yourself to make them meet. 

“Honey?” Tony’s voice came from the other side of the door, with a slight knock. “Are you okay? FRIDAY’s sending Bruce and I some readings.” Instead of answering, you just let out a strangled sob. “Sweetheart? I’m coming in, okay?” FRIDAY unlocked the door and Tony quickly came in and pulled you into his arms. “What’s going on?”

“I—I can’t—I couldn’t—“

“Hold on, honey, you’re panicking.” He lifted you up so that you were sitting on the counter, and he cupped your face. “Just breathe, Y/N. Just breathe. I’m right here. And when you’re ready, you can tell me what’s going on.”

“I-I couldn’t find a dress.”

“Okay, that’s fine. You can wear something you already have.”

“No.” You shook your head slightly. “I couldn’t find a dress I could put on myself.”

“Oh.” Tony nodded, finally understanding.

“And I just wanted to look nice and surprise you.”

“Honey, you always look nice. Even when you’re dusty and have blood on you after a fight, you’re always the most beautiful person to me.”

“I just wanted to surprise you and I can’t even dress myself!” You slammed a fist against the counter.

“Woah! Honey!” He quickly grabbed your hand and pressed small kisses to it. “Please don’t hurt yourself.”

“Why does it matter? I’m useless anyway, or I will be, sooner than we all want to admit.”

“Stop right there!” Tony held your face so that you had to look at him. “You are not useless, nor will you ever be. Yes, you have your struggles. But you are a fighter and have proven that you aren’t one to give up. Why now?”

“I’m just so tired of it, Tony… I just want to not feel this way anymore… I want to be able to dress myself and not have my joints screaming in pain every time I move. I want to be able to have sex with you and be able to enjoy every single second of it… I want to consider the possibility of maybe having kids, without my joints telling me no… I want to be normal.”

Tony chuckled, rubbing his thumbs against your cheeks. “Honey, there is no such thing as normal. And that is okay. It hurts me to know that you are struggling through all this and that there is so little I can do. But, I will be by your side through whatever you need. You need me to brush your hair and wash your body? I’m there. You need me to make the bed or help you dress? I’m there. You need me to do all the work during sex? I got you. I am here for you, even when the time comes that you may be wheelchair bound. I am not leaving and Bruce and I will not stop trying to find something that eases your pain.”

“I love you, Tony.”

“Love you too.” He pressed a soft kiss on your lips. “Now, how about we go dress shopping again and you let me enjoy helping you into a dress, okay?”

“Okay.”

~~~

Dress shopping with Tony was actually enjoyable. It helped that he was treating you like a queen the whole time. He helped you into each dress, occasionally pressing gentle kisses onto your exposed skin. He praised you in each dress, telling you how gorgeous you looked but that it was up to you whether or not you got the dress. None of the dresses though were calling to you, which wasn’t making you feel much better. 

“I have one more idea,” Tony said after you had just said no to the last dress in your fitting room. He quickly unzipped you. “I’ll be right back.”

He rushed out of the small room, leaving you confused. You cringed at you got out of the dress and put it back on the hanger. Hugging your mid section, you stood there, nervously waiting for Tony to return. When he did, he came back with a dress that wasn’t exactly on your list of choices.

“Tony, I don’t know,” you told him, shaking your head a little. 

“I know it’s usually not your style, but could you just try it on. For me?” 

He knew very well that you had a hard time saying no when he used his big brown eyes and asked like that. 

You sighed, “Fine.”

Tony was way too excited to get you into that dress. You let him, just wanting to make him happy, as he was just trying to do with you. You tried not look in the mirror at all as Tony helped you into the dress. 

“Done,” he said softly after getting you all zipped up.

You took a deep breath and finally examined yourself in the mirror. You were shocked. Yes, you would have never picked this dress out for yourself, but it was perfect. You looked at Tony in the mirror, who was silent.

“It’s perfect, Tony,” you said softly. “Absolutely perfect.”

He carefully wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder. He smirked as he made eye contact with you in the mirror.

“No,” he responded at the same volume. “You’re perfect.”

Notes: Again, every experiences arthritis differently. This is just a sample on how I feel it. Thank you for reading and your support! If you enjoyed this please check out these:

My Superhero - Steve Rogers x Reader

Purple - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Here’s a sneak peak of more of my work to come:

2 - Out Of Time: Morgan Stark x Mom!Reader x Dad!Tony Stark

3 - Avengers x Teen!Reader

4 - Out Of Time: Uncle!Steve Rogers x Niece!Morgan Stark

5 - Tony Stark x Reader

6 - Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader

7 - Sam Wilson x Reader

8 - Bucky Barnes x Patella Alta!Reader

9 - Tony Stark x Autistic!Reader

10 - Tony Stark x Reader

I also have more arthritis/autoimmune disease fics to come as well. So follow me to read more!

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 7

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None? I think? Please let me know if I missed something Notes: This is incredibly dialogue heavy, and I actually don't feel as confident about this chapter as some of the past ones? Hopefully y'all like it, I mean at least the ending is cute (or cheesy, depending on who you ask). PS: Not sure how many chapters there will be in total, other than at least 3 more (one of which ill, in fact, get a little h*rny again. actually, h*rnier). Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy

Chapter 7: Harmony

“We need to talk, yeah?” Daniela asked, nearly stuttering, a sort of nervous that you had never seen her exhibit before. The first thing you think is that she’s really, really cute when she doesn’t know what to do. After that you actually process what she said. Relief floods your chest, followed by warmth, and you make a mental note to thank Bela the next time you see her. In the meantime, you were unable to contain your happiness. Out of instinct you move closer to Daniela, smiling softly, quietly reaching one of your hands towards hers. There’s no hesitance in her response. Instead of taking your hand she pulls you in for a hug, opting to rest her chin against your shoulder. Admittedly you’re a little surprised, but you return the motion nonetheless. “Oh, little songbird…”

Heart racing, you softly press against Daniela, turning your head so that you could place a single, brief kiss against her exposed collarbone. For a moment the two of you just stay like that, holding each other close. When you pull away, remembering that you still hadn’t said anything, you find that Daniela is blushing from the neck up. In turn, the sight makes you blush. You can’t help but reach out and run your fingers through her hair. Though you can’t see yourself, you know your eyes are filled with affection.

“I love when you look at me like this,” Daniela whispered, not entirely meaning to voice her thoughts. Then you’re blushing harder, smile small but sweet. “Mmm, you’re just darling, aren’t you?”

“Not nearly as much as yourself, my Lady. To be in your company is to be the luckiest soul in the world. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of which you inspire in me,” you replied, trying not to stumble over your words, barely able to process any thoughts other than ‘pretty lady likes me ahh’. Thankfully, you still remembered a few tricks from language arts class. Who knew studying the classics could make you more romantic? At least one English teacher, probably. “I’ll have plenty of time to try, though… after we talk about things, that is. Is there somewhere private we can talk? I’m not terribly eager for your mother to overhear.”

“Are you sure we can’t talk about how much you like me for a while longer?” Daniela asked, faking a pout. When you perk a brow at her antics, she shifts a little, forcing herself to be a little more serious (at least for the time being). “If you insist, my sweet thing. I’d suggest my room-” she winks at you- “but I doubt we’d stay talking for long, would we? Maybe the library? Neither of my sisters tend to go there around this time of day, and I can hardly remember the last time mother went there.”

“Well, no one from the day shift is scheduled to organize things until later this week, so… sounds like a date to me,” you chimed, enjoying the way that Daniela’s face lit up in response. “There’s just one thing I have to take care of first. Wouldn’t want my roommates to think something has happened to me, now would we?” With that said you linked your arm with your partner’s, setting off towards the servants quarters.

—————————————–

“Oh thank goodness, we were starting to get worried!” Daphne exclaimed as you quietly ducked into your room. For a second you freeze in place, hoping to whatever higher powers may be that she hadn’t seen Daniela behind you. Certainly the vampire would have moved out of sight?... Despite your assumption, you do see Daphne hesitate for a moment, gazing at the now closed door. Thinking quickly, you give a little wave to draw her attention elsewhere. Seemingly it works like a charm, with her attention returning to you, and so you release an internal sigh of relief. Now you just had to think of an excuse for why you’d be staying up late.

“It’s fine- I’m fine, really. Just had to carry something for one of the Ladies,” you lied, trying not to be specific enough to possibly contradict facts you weren’t aware of. “I, uh, kinda have to go back out, though? There are some piano books I need to find before tomorrow morning. I’ve already found a few, but apparently there’s at least one that goes over some technical practice songs, and I think D-” you almost wince, but lean into it, stuttering instead- “th-think that Lady Daniela would enjoy the variety. Not sure how long it’ll take me to find the books, so don’t stay up waiting for me. I promise I’ll still get enough sleep to function tomorrow.”

“So the lessons haven’t been canceled? That’s good to hear,” Daphne said, nodding slowly. The words catch you off guard, and you tilt your head to the side in confusion. Noticing your expression, your roommate is quick to explain. “After whatever happened yesterday… we weren’t sure if we’d ever hear you play again. Not that we know what happened, just that Lady Daniela was, well, upset, and you stopped playing sooner than usual. But I suppose if the lessons were canceled completely… I doubt Lady Dimitrescu would let you go that easily, huh?”

Again, you shift awkwardly, wondering how Daniela must feel hearing all of this. But just like that Daphne shakes her head, clearing her thoughts, and gives a little shrug.

“Don’t stay up too late, okay? I know you already promised, but we both know you’ll lose track of time if you aren’t careful. If you aren’t in bed by the time the sun reaches its peak, I swear we are gonna have words!” Both of you laugh before Daphne waves you off with a smile. Still, you wait to open the door until she (and the other maidens) has her back to you. Better safe than sorry, right?

—————————————–

Somehow the room felt different in a million ways, now that you were here with Daniela. There was something about the way she moved, freely, eyes and fingers running down the spines of familiar books. Even if you had not seen it before, it felt like the library was overflowing with magic. What I would give, you think, to see the whole world tinted in shades of her. Again you find yourself blushing as you followed Daniela towards a small sitting area. One of the chairs is practically a recliner, with plenty of space, and you realize what she has planned mere moments before she acts.

Next thing you know, you’re being pulled closer to her, practically lifted into the air. Then you’re falling back, right on top of a giggling Daniela. By the time you’ve regained your senses, you’re in her lap, held just tight enough to keep you from getting up. She’s watching your face closely, smirking with pure satisfaction.

“Are we going to be able to talk like this?” You asked, a little unsure yourself, already distracted by the soft curve of her jawline. Even as you speak you’re eying her, imagining what it would feel like to trail kisses along her skin until she was restless… Thankfully she responds before your mind gets too carried away.

“Of course we are, little songbird. Probably. If you behave,” Daniela teased, gently playing with your hair as she did. You can’t help but laugh when she suggests that you are the one who needs to control yourself. “Alright, alright, I get your point. I just… I think that it’s easier for me to, fuck, I don’t know. Relax? It’s easier for me to relax like this, holding you, getting to kiss that lovely neck of yours-” she pauses to demonstrate- “and that means I won’t freak out like last time. Or so goes my thought process, anyway.”

“In that case…” You’re sitting perpendicular to her now, still holding on tight. One hand cups her cheek, gently caressing the skin, before you lean in for a kiss. The two of you enjoy yourselves for a minute, glad to have this time together, more glad to be reassured of each other’s affection. To think that you wouldn’t even be able to meet her gaze if not for Bela’s intervention… Eventually you pull back, knowing that you did need to talk. “I care about you, firefly, and I want things between us to be real, and healthy, but I…”

The words died in your throat, a lump you couldn’t quite swallow, when memories sprung up like weeds in your brain. Communication mattered to you for a thousand reasons, and you weren’t blind to the irony of one of those reasons making you freeze up.

“I haven’t… done this before, not for real,” Daniela replied, mistaking your paues for uncertainty. “Apparently being an immortal, blood-drinking princess is only attractive in the realm of fiction. Maidens only ever seemed interested in a fleeting rush, or a fraction of a chance at an escape. They didn’t care for romance.” Now her tone gets bitter, and her eyebrows furrow. You can see her shoulders tense up, raising a little, making you try to snap out of your own thoughts for a few moments. By the time she speaks again, you’ve started to gently rub her back. “Maybe I should have paid more attention to my novels. How often does the monster actually get a happy ending?” She says the words with a hollow laugh. Still, she’s relaxed a little under your touch, even leaning into it.

“You’ve… done some bad things. Hurt a lot of people, and I can’t pretend that doesn’t scare me,” you started to say, ignoring the heartache you feel when you see Daniela’s hurt expression. “But you’re more than that. You’re soft, cute, and mischievous. More than that… I can tell that you want something beautiful. We can have that, we can make that, for ourselves, with our own hands and our own desires. But we can’t use stories as a blueprint. We can’t rely on what we’ve read, not when everything the two of us do is brand new. Not when-” you close your eyes, fighting back tears, glimpsing fragments of your last relationship- “not when I’ve already been hurt by my own misconceptions. The things we read aren’t always real, or right, or anything like what we need. What we deserve.”

“Something tells me you’re holding back a little,” Daniela murmured, barely able to get the words out. It almost looks like she’s close to crying, but her cheeks are dry, and her voice is steady. “But you’re right. What we have is better than anyone could write, anyway. You’re my little songbird, and I’m not letting you go anytime soon. Even if I have to figure out this whole ‘communication’ thing. I suppose that means I should… come clean. About a few things.” There’s a clear hesitance to her voice, like she’s embarrassed, and she’s speaking slower than usual. A blush rises to her cheeks before she takes a deep breath.

“We don’t have to talk about everything right now, if you aren’t ready. We’ve already made good progress, I think, even if half of it might be because of your sisters. Well, sister, singular. Cassandra throwing me into that wall really didn’t help anyone. Except maybe the chiropractor I will inevitably need to see,” you joked, remembering your earlier conversation with Bela.

“Hold up for a fucking second, Cassandra did what? I’m going to replace all her paint brushes with stained carpet strips, and that’s if she apologizes. Nobody fucks with my baby,” Daniela snapped, expression as serious as can be. Normally you found her anger to be terrifying. Now that she was directing it at someone else? And on your behalf?... Maybe it was a tiny bit cute. Which you tried to show, by gently bringing her in for another kiss. Of course, Daniela isn’t quite as gentle, instead kissing you hard, holding you as closely as she can. There’s a bit of possessiveness in her grip, and it makes you tense up. But as soon as you do she’s pulling back, breathing hard, eyes weighed down with concern.

“Y’know, I think she was just mad that I made you cry. And if I found out someone made you cry, I would be pretty angry. Not that I’d throw someone, partially because I don’t think I could, but still. It’s… almost cute how much your sisters care about you. Almost, just not quite,” you said, eager to draw the attention away from your reaction. Like you had told Daniela, it was okay if you weren’t ready to talk about everything. “Speaking of that, I can’t believe I haven’t apologized yet. I panicked so much, I didn’t even realize I was yelling until you picked me up. No matter how frustrated I was, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t, please,” Daniela interrupted, eyes closing for a moment. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing. I pinned you to the wall, and not for the usual reason!” There’s a bit of panic in her expression, and you get the feeling that she’s beating herself up inside about it. Which, based on what you had thought about what you had done, was understandable.

“Consider this: We both fucked up, and we’ve both acknowledged it now, so we could just… not talk about our regrets? At least for now,” you countered, glad to see Daniela relax and nod in response. Leaning in, you shift to rest your head against her shoulder, wanting to enjoy her proximity more. “Hey… if I’m your songbird, and you’re my firefly… are we, I don’t know… officially a couple now?”

“I was under the impression that we already were,” Daniela said, clearly a little confused. While you technically agreed with her… there was another part of you that wanted to have a little fun.

“You never asked, and I know I never did either, so…” Now you’re looking up at her, smile wide, heart beating faster than normal. “Lady Daniela, firefly of house Dimitrescu, lover of romance novels, player of pianos, keeper of my heart… Will you do me the honor of allowing me to court you? To be yours, officially, in the pursuit of affection and happiness like the village- nay, the world- has never before seen? Will you be my girlfriend?”

“How’s this for an answer, songbird?” Daniela cooed. Then she was lifting your chin from her shoulder, turning her head and bringing you closer. Your lips touch, as gentle as can be. It’s a short kiss, but one radiating with love, that ends with your foreheads pressed against each other. In this moment, you feel like you could stay in her arms for the rest of eternity. “Yes. Absolutely yes, obviously, a thousand times. I could never say no to you, especially not now, with your eyes so desperate for the sight of me, and your lips so begging to be kissed. Now, how about we celebrate, hmm?”

Just as Daphne had predicted, you end up staying awake far too late, but you were all the happier for it.

[bruhlsbees]

second chance ; 1/5 || writer!daniel x fem!artist!reader

(gif credit to @/magsam)

summary: you continue to dwell on your past as you prepare to open your art gallery

warnings: daniel's boss is a little creepy - like flirty but in power creepy, idk how to tag that, nothing bad happens she just obvi wants in his pants (but don't we all), 18+ although no smut

word count: 6,637

pairing: writer!daniel x fem!artist!reader

a/n: here's my soft fic!! please enjoy!! :) also i should note that writer!daniel is based around sebastian from ich und kaminski - i just changed the name to daniel, but really only loosely based so that's why i'm not considering this to be a sebastian fic!

He woke to the lull sound of music being played in the shop below his flat. With a groan, he pulled his head from under the pillow, squinting at the sun that peeked through his curtains before turning towards the clock on his nightstand.

12:17 PM

Another groan left him as his face fell back into the pillows. He had to be at work by one and he wasn’t even out of bed - and he should be on the road leaving in thirteen minutes! This, however, was not uncommon for Daniel - he was often late, running behind from sleeping off his hangover or just simply not caring enough to pick up his feet and move quicker.

He was half tempted to call off, tell his boss that he had a relative that passed or that he was ill.

“I thought your great-aunt just recently passed away?” Daniel’s boss questioned over the phone, her tone more annoyed than confused. He could hear the restaurant clatter through the phone, indicating that it was a rather busy day.

“Yes, that was on my mother’s side, this one is on my father’s,” He picked up a pair of socks off the ground to see if they were clean or at least passed the smell check. “Tragic, I’m not sure what I’m going to do without them.”

He sniffed the socks and threw them away from his face in the same motion, holding back the cough as he shook the smell out of his nose. Daniel knew he had been putting off laundry for too long, the clear evidence being the pair of socks he mistakenly picked up.

Moving to the bathroom to take a shower and get around for the day. Daniel kept his cellphone pressed to his ear, held by the crook of his shoulder while he waited to hear what his boss would say to him.

“Fine,” She finally responded after a moment. Her tone was short, biting like a sting, “But I expect you back on your next shift. We can’t afford to keep losing waiters.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Opening up the medicine cabinet he grabbed his deodorant stick, swiping it a few times under each armpit before feeling satisfied enough to move on, “I’ll be there.”

When he heard the click he swiftly let his phone drop from his shoulder, catching it with his hand before setting it on the top of the toilet next to his sink, continuing to get ready for the day. Even though he wasn’t going into work today, he could still at least get ready instead of basking away in his own stench from the previous night.

Finally pushing himself out of bed after laying for another few minutes, Daniel rummaged through the clothes on the floor, finding the cleanest uniform out of the dirty clothes before tossing them on his bed, moving to the bathroom to get ready. When he got to the bathroom, he nearly cringed at the sight of him.

It was quite obvious that he had a long night, the dark circles around his eyes screamed that he didn’t sleep well and his hair was matted to his head. He couldn’t remember who he had over, or what her name even started with. Was it an s? Sienna? Sierra? Sally? Who fucking cares.

He did a half-assed job brushing his teeth, more so focused on just getting the taste of whiskey out of his mouth so that nobody assumed he was drunk on the job. He already got let go from another job for that.

After the taste was most of the way out, Daniel quickly rinsed his face off and pulled his hair back into a low bun. He didn’t look bad - but it was clear that he had a rough night.

Surprisingly he was out of the door sooner than he imagined. Ascending down the stairs, he made sure to have his steps extra heavy to piss the store owners under him off. A smirk was present on Daniel’s face when he jumped one by one down the final few steps, hearing the store owner yell for him to ‘bugger off’ from inside.

“Kiss my ass.” Daniel mumbled, pushing the door open before making his way onto the sidewalk, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and lighter, sparking the stick as he made his way down the road to work.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Everything felt so off, yet so right. Something was missing, but you couldn’t pin what it was just yet. The gallery exceeded your expectations - Vee exceeded your expectations, she always seemed to go above and beyond when it came to your work.

“And how does she like it? Do we get her seal of approval?” The museum’s art curator questioned, standing off to the side so that you and Vee could take it all in.

He was a short man, the rectangle frames glasses that were a bright orange that matched with his orange suit. You wondered if perhaps the glasses were real, or were they fake and more of a fashion statement? Did he have a matching pair of glasses for each outfit?

You didn’t realize how out of it you were until you felt Vee nudge you, answering for the curator.

“She loves it, do forgive her, she’s just taken back is all.” Vee explained, smiling towards the curator as he nodded, relief washing over him as he continued to showcase the room in the museum that was dedicated to your work.

You let out a sigh and trailed behind Vee. You felt bad for not being so animated, but you couldn’t help it - you just weren’t in the best mental spot right now. It was quite obvious too, at least to everyone around you. When the three of you reached the back of the gallery, the curator turned and pulled his lips into a tight smile.

“Well, if there is anything else we can do before your opening, please, let us know,” He turned to Vee and bowed her way in goodbye, “You have my number, just call if there is anything.” He turned on his heels and made his way out of the room, his footsteps echoing until he left and then...nothing.

You let out a soft exhale and sat down on the bench that was placed in front of the back wall, staring up at a few of your paintings. Your shoulders were slacked, a frown on your face as you toyed with your bracelet that was on your left wrist, twirling the string around your fingers. Moving around the bench, Vee took a seat beside you, letting her purse fall to the ground at her feet, looking up at your pieces.

“If this isn’t something you want to do anymore, I can let him know,” She began, your head shooting up, looking at her with wide eyes, “He won’t be pleased, but I suppose it’d be better to hear from me than you.” She stated, eyes flickering from one painting to the next.

You shook your head, shocked that Vee would even suggest canceling the opening. What made her think that? Did she think you didn’t want this anymore? No, of course you wanted this, this was something you’ve dreamt about since you were a little girl.

“What are you saying, Vee? Of course I want this still, you’ve worked so hard and did such a wonderful job with this, I wouldn’t want to have all your hard work go to waste.” You explained, looking towards her now. She smiled, staring at the painting off to her right before turning her head the other way towards you.

“My dear, this isn’t about me. This is about you. My job is to get you where you need to be and make your dreams come true. I won’t be upset if you change your mind. We can wait to open your gallery, wait until next year or this winter perhaps. Whatever you wan-”

“I want this. I just-” You let out a sigh and dropped your head again, looking at your feet for a moment before back up at the wall, tears in your eyes, “I just thought it would be different, I suppose.”

“What do you mean?” Vee questioned, her left hand resting on your back, her right on your hands, squeezing them. You didn’t know how to put it into words, and that was the issue. You didn’t know why you felt the way you did, or where it came from. The room wasn’t empty, yet at the same time, something was missing.

“I just, something is missing...and I can’t figure out what it is,” You began, standing up from your spot on the bench and circling it, looking now from the back towards the front of the gallery. “When I come into this room, I want to love it, I do love it, but something just isn’t right about all of it. It feels incomplete, but what is missing?”

Nodding slowly, Vee let out a sigh and stood up, picking her purse from the floor and swinging it over her before walking over to you, standing beside you as she joined you in staring at the work you’ve created in the room.

“You want to know what I see in this room? A young, talented woman who has spent the last fifteen years making something of herself,” She began, her voice quiet, like a grandmother’s gentle tone. “A woman who went from nothing to having a large home, a gallery space, yet at the same time, a woman who doesn’t feel complete because she is still living in past regret.”

You glanced away from her at the last part of her speech. It wasn’t that you were hiding your tears from her, but she was right, and you were a fool to still be living in the past.

When she continued, your head faltered back to its original position, looking straight ahead. This was supposed to be your day, yours, and yet even after everything, Daniel was still the one on your mind...the one who still controlled your emotions and work.

“I don’t mean to be brash, dear, but if he wanted to make an appearance in your life, he would have done it by now. It’s time you put that past away and look towards the future,” Wrapping her arms around you, Vee pulled you close, extending her left hand out to motion around the room, “Think of all that you’ve done without him. Is he truly the one you wish to have by your side when you open your gallery? The one who didn’t want this for you in the first place?”

By this point you were crying, silently weeping in Vee’s arm as she gave you a hard reality check. It was true, all of it, why were you still hung up on him? For all you knew he had moved on himself - living with a pretty wife and a couple kids with a backyard and porch. You made it this far without him, and damn did you do a good job, so why were you still holding out on the chance that he would show up? Were you still that much in love with him?

“Sweet girl, it’s time to move on from him. He’s caused you enough pain. Look at how much you’ve done, truly, look around,” You opened your eyes and looked around the room, smiling weakly at all your work, “Never have I worked with someone as talented as you. The past five years have been a pleasure and I just want you to be proud of what you’ve done.”

“I am,” You whispered, looking at Vee now. You knew there were tears running down your cheeks as you could feel them, dripping from your jaw and onto your shirt. You sniffled and wiped your cheeks dry before letting out a sigh, “You’re right. I need to stop letting him ruin my day. This gallery, it’s beautiful! I should go and tell the curator he’s done an excellent job. I’m sure he thinks by now I’m either stuck up or a bitch...probably both!”

You laughed with Vee, leaning in as she kissed your temple before patting your back once, “I don’t think you should worry too much about that. I’m sure he’s probably dealt with worse drama queens,” She began to lead you out of the gallery, her arm still wrapped around you, “Come on, how about we go get a pastry and head home, yes?”

Nodding, you kept your own arm wrapped around her, following her out of the museum and to your lift that you had taken that day. The city was beautiful, but you were ready to retire back to the countryside where your home was.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

He had made it into work exactly four minutes late, and his boss was at the door waiting for him with a scowl on her face. She was a mean bitch, Teresa, his boss - thin and blonde, always a stern look on her face like she ate something bad. She was his height, which only made arguments worse. Teresa liked to find your weakness and make that her target.

Daniel was rather confident, not taking much heat and just letting it roll off his back, but he was shorter, average, but still short. Standing at only five feet nine inches, Daniel knew quite a few women who were his height, if not taller. So when it came to him and Teresa yelling in the kitchen at the restaurant, she always seemed to find a way to stand herself up to seem taller than he was, making her both look and feel like the alpha.

Tucking the fallen pieces behind his ears, Daniel sighed and went to grab an apron that was hanging up beside the time clock where Teresa was standing.

“Sorry, traffic was busy.” He stated, going to punch in his work number. Before he could, Teresa stepped to the side in front of it, hands on her hips as she blocked him from clocking in. He took a quick step back before running into her, eyes furrowed together. “Um, is there something-”

“You’re late,” She pointed out, as if he didn’t already know. She moved her hands from her hips and to cross over her chest, her breasts pressing together causing Daniel to swallow, eyes looking ahead of him at the time clock. “If we weren’t so desperate for staff, you’d be out of here.”

It took everything for Daniel to not roll his eyes at the comment, shuffling in his spot as he became fidgety, wanting to get away from Teresa and go to work. This wasn’t the first time she had cornered him before - taunting him with her breasts and charm, making him sweat through his uniform.

No, of course he didn’t think she was hot - well, maybe, but she was a bitch. A stone cold bitch who wouldn’t be getting anywhere near his pants. That promise he would keep. He’s had his fair share of questionable hookups, but Teresa the Tyrant would not be one of them, no matter how hard she tried.

“Are you sure it's we and not you?” He toyed, his eyes flicking over towards her. He held back his smirk when her arms fell, mouth gaping before she glared and moved out of the way.

“Get to work,” She ordered, moving out of the way and into the office that was beside the timeclock, in the back of the kitchen. “And I’m docking this!”

“And I’m docking this!” Daniel mimicked, making a face as he mumbled to himself, punching into work and grabbing an apron, wrapping it around him before heading through the kitchen and to the main seating area to start waiting on his section.

The two other waitresses, Kali and Lana, were already working, moving tables around for what looked to be a big party coming in. The restaurant Daniel worked at was rather nice, more formal than most around town, so most people came to the restaurant if they were looking for something special. The host, Will, at the front sighing in relief at the sight of Daniel walking in.

“Finally! Thank God you’re here!” Will began, handing Daniel his things frantically, “We got a huge party coming in. Teresa just sprung it on us when we opened,” Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed, stuffing the pens and orderbook in his pocket, trying to keep up with Will, “Whole party booked the restaurant. It’s just us four tonight. Party is almost reaching forty-”

“Forty? Forty people? And four waiters? What the hell was Teresa thinking?” Part of Daniel wished he had called in, but the four of them were a good team, he couldn’t bail on them. Tucking his hair behind his ears as it fell in his face, he sighed and shook his head, “What do I need to do before they get here?”

Will seemed to relax a bit when Daniel offered to help, wrapping the last bit of silverware before handing the basket to Daniel, “Set the tables. They’re sitting at four tables, ten each. We each get a table and their food is being cooked now so hopefully everything goes smoothly.”

Nodding, Daniel took the silverware, shifting the basket to sit on his hip before moving to the tables, “Yeah, hopefully.”

It didn’t take long to get ready, most of the work already being done before Daniel had clocked in. After the tables were set up and the four of them did some last minute cleaning, the guests soon began to come in, sitting in their assigned spots - the restaurant growing loud quickly.

As the oldest waiter, and the one with the most experience, Daniel didn’t stress too much about his table, focusing on Kali and Will who were the youngest of them, only in high school. He noticed Kali was especially having a hard time balancing all the food on the tray, wobbling as she went to sit it down to begin passing them out. He knew this night couldn’t get any worse, but Hell, Teresa really did throw them a curveball.

When Daniel was refilling glasses, he couldn’t help but grow curious, what was this all about? What were so many fancy rich pricks doing here?

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the occasion?” Daniel asked, doing his best to sound charming rather than nosey. He smiled down at the group at the end of the table he was at, watching as they paused from their conversations to turn to Daniel.

The one man, who turned his nose at the sight of Daniel, scoffed and adjusted his posture in his seat, “Oh you don’t know? Well, if you must know, we’re a group of art collectors,” He pulled out the flyer from his suit pocket and handed it to Daniel, who took it and began unfolding it as he continued, “There’s a new art gallery opening. We plan on going and potentially buying some of her pieces.”

Nodding, Daniel continued to listen until they began to ramble about rich people things that rich people talked about. Reading over the flyer, he recognized the art museum. It was a rather posh one, one that had famous art pieces that people would travel from all over to see. This artist must have been a rather big deal to be having a pop-up in the art museum.

It was the style of art he recognized first. He had seen it before. Where he couldn’t put his finger on, but he knew he had seen the art before. Reading over the name didn’t help either - Cassie Kane?

“Cassie Kane? Like Citizen Kane? What is that, some sort of pen name?” He couldn’t help but laugh at the name, finding it to be ridiculous. He was a writer - well, aspiring writer. He always found pen names to be rather odd, not something he was ever a fan of.

The table laughed at his joke, but Daniel knew that it wasn’t what he said that was funny, but him in general. Rich people always liked to laugh at the waiters, finding whatever came out of their mouth to be funny - as if they were their dancing monkeys.

“You’ve seriously never heard of her? Come now, she’s one of the most aspiring artists right now! It’s not everyday you see someone so young and talented open up a gallery of their own work, let alone in such a famous museum!” This time it was the woman beside the man who spoke, baffled at Daniel’s lack of knowledge in the so-called ‘Cassie Kane’.

“Forgive me, I’m a writer, not much of an artist.” He explained, pulling his lips into a thin smile. His patience was growing weak with these upper-class snobs and his feet were sore. All he wanted to do was go home, smoke a few cigarettes, have some drinks, and pass out on his couch.

“Well, nobody knows much about her. Like I said, she’s young. From what I hear though, she lives in a manor that was passed down to her by a great-aunt or something. I believe she took care of her before her death and her aunt gave her the house,” Another woman said, sipping her champagne before continuing, “A single woman, all alone in that big house. No wonder she has all those paintings, poor girl probably has nothing better to do.”

They erupted into laughs at the woman’s comment, the woman’s own laugh sounding far too similar to a donkey for Daniel to keep his composure, sipping their drinks and continuing on with other conversations.

Before Daniel could finally escape though, giving up all interests on even trying to talk with his table - the original man quickly reached out to Daniel as he turned to leave, pulling at his apron to gain his attention.

“You asked her name, yes well, she’s actually from here. That’s why we’ve stopped by. We wanted to get a look around her hometown before travelling to see what inspired her pieces. Here! I have a photo actually.” The man dug his photo out of his pocket and unlocked it, searching on Google for the artist before pulling up a picture, handing his phone to Daniel who took it, holding it in front of him.

“She’s the one on the far left,” He explained, “In the red.”

Scanning through the line of people, Daniel nearly dropped the man’s phone when he finally reached the artist. He knew he had seen the art from somewhere, and who left town to become an artist? He should have known - it was the only person who he could have thought of. You, you were Cassie Kane.

“You must have known her? She’s about your age! Did you go to school with her?”

The questions became far too much for Daniel, who all but cowered back, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them, “Um, no, sorry, I don’t,” He lied, clearing his throat, “Must have been in different classes than me.”

“Well she’s opening up the invitations to everyone in town. Free admission if you show that you live in town. Perhaps you should go - check the gallery out for yourself and broaden your horizons a bit. Whole town is rather dense from what I’ve seen. No wonder she’s letting you all come for free.”

And after three painfully long hours of listening to the rich snobs joke and whine and bicker, Daniel finally had enough. With a smile, Daniel let out a mocking laugh, pathetically sounding like a snob before his face fell, his table - and the others as well, falling to silence.

“If I wanted to broaden my horizons, I’d go to the zoo, at least there I can enjoy what I’m looking like,” He turned to the woman who had originally spoken up after the man - who’s laugh sounded far too much like a donkey, smiling wickedly down at her, “That reminds me, I heard they’re opening a petting zoo in town - maybe you can go and say hi to the rest of your cousins for me. What exactly do donkeys eat by the way? I’m curious to know.”

He let out a whine line a donkey, mocking the woman before leaning over the table and reaching for the champagne bottle in the ice bucket, pulling the cork off with his teeth and spitting it back out down the table. At this point the whole room was silent, watching as Daniel finally cracked.

When he noticed everyone was staring, after drinking a healthy amount from the bottle, he let out a sigh and let the champagne run down his beard and onto the front of his shirt, hiccuping.

And without another word he made his way lazily from the dining room and through the kitchen, sipping on the bottle until he made it to the back of the kitchen, pushing open Teresa’s door and tossing his apron at things at her, watching as they bounced off her and onto the floor.

“What the he-”

“I quit,” Daniel said, cutting her off. When she looked at him confused, and of course pissed like always, he could only smile and brave it, “I quit. Don’t bother docking me because I’m not coming back. Better yet, don’t even bother paying me today,” He looked down at the champagne bottle and waved it at her, “Consider this my tip.”

And before she could get another word out, he turned and headed out of her office, smirking to himself as he listened to her scream for him to get back as he left the restaurant, heading through the filled parking lot, and back to his apartment.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

After dinner that night, alone in your study like most, you attempted to work on your laptop, going through emails in hopes of maybe finding something that was worth your wild. To your avail, however, nothing jumped out at you.

It was all the same - the coupons from the candle store you liked, the newspaper from your hometown you still followed, and the countless number of spam emails that seemed to always flood your inbox.

Slamming your laptop shut, you let out a huff and fell back into your seat, looking around your office. Your hands found your face and you ran them up and down, groaning before letting your body go slack, arms draped over the arm rests as you twisted side to side in your chair.

For such a busy woman, life often felt lonely to you. Living in your great-aunt’s old manor didn’t help either. The ghosts of those who lived before you seemed to be the only friends you had.

That, and the animals you had out back.

Pushing yourself up from your chair, you made your way out of the office and down the hall, going down the grand staircase. Your slippers scuffed across the floor as you made your way through the hall and into the breakfast nook, opening the door that led outside into the backyard. You had quite a few animals - the acres in your backyard reserved strictly for the farm animals that your great-aunt had before she passed.

Vee suggested that you send them off to someone else, seeing as though you were a busy woman who didn’t need the extra stress of animals. But you couldn’t do that to them, this was their home, more of their home than your own. You made it work, getting up early to feed them and take care of them before work that day and then spending evenings, like tonight, with them.

Opening the gate that secured the perimeter for them, so they wouldn’t wander outside of their area and onto the road to get hit, making your way into the fenced area. Most of the animals were already tucked away for bed, the occasional moo from one of the cows echoing across the hills. You didn’t mind though, sometimes coming in was more for you than it was for them. It helped get your mind off things.

Sitting on the stool you kept out for milking the cows, you rested your elbows on your knees, your chin on your hands. You knew it was rather ridiculous to be sulking so much - being such a successful aspiring artist with a manor and so much that many didn’t - but what nobody seemed to realize was how lonely you were. God, did you know it - you reminded yourself everyday.

But it wasn’t that you were appreciative of all that you had, no, you were more than thankful - but everyone had their one wish in life, and yours - still to this day even after everything, was that by some miracle Daniel would come back, that he would show up at your door on his hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness.

Vee reminded you daily that your dream wasn’t good for you.

“If he loved you as much as you like to say he did...why isn’t he here now? Why has he been gone for the last decade and a half? That doesn’t seem like the man who deserves you, let alone crying over.”

She was right though - he wasn’t worth your time of day.

Letting out a sigh, you wiped away the stray tears before the ‘baah’ from one of the goats made you jump, turning back to see one of the babies prancing your way, a smile growing on your face. It was late, and the mischievous goat should have been sleeping.

“And what are you doing up?” You scolded playfully, much like a mother would to their own child. You watched the baby goat sprint at you the last few feet, butting it’s head into your leg before pawing at the ground to get your attention, wanting to be lifted.

“Oh come here,” Bending down, you lifted up the baby goat and held them in your arms, watching as they got comfortable before tucking their head in the crook of your arm. “Which one are you, hmm?”

Twisting the collar your way, you looked at the name tag and smiled.

“Marlene, hello there sweet girl. What are you still doing awake? I believe it’s past your bedtime.” You heard the muffled ‘baah’ from under your arm and stroked her back, keeping her held in your arms while you enjoyed the moment.

Rocking her gently, you listened as she soon lulled into a sleep, your own head bobbing slightly as you grew tired yourself. Leaning back against the fence pole, you let out a yawn, adjusting so the wood wasn’t digging directly into your spine before your petting slowed.

“Just a minute...I’ll put you up in just a minute.” You whispered, your head falling back as you entered your sudden slumber.

Although your minute became minutes, then hours, until you woke to the erupting sounds of all the animals around you, growing impatient for breakfast. Groaning, you sat up, your back painfully stiff as you cracked your eyes open, looking around to see the animals eyeing you, running rampant as they waited for their food.

“Shit!” You hissed, standing up, stumbling as you lost balance before rushing around to get everyone fed for the day. God, did you really fall asleep out here? How tired were you? You must have been rather tired, seeing as though you slept on a stool propped against the fence post all night.

Thankfully though it didn’t take long, doing your regular morning chores until you were finally able to head back inside, or rather trudging back inside. Your body was painfully sore and while you slept a while, it was a rather shit sleep.

When you made it through the breakfast nook, into the hallway to go back into your room, you stopped at the sight of Vee who was coming down the stairs, looking for you.

“There you are! I looked everywhere for you, did you forget that we were supposed to meet with some of the other museum directors tod-” She paused, nose turning and she sniffled the air, “What is that smell?”

“Me, probably,” You stated, watching as Vee looked at you confused, before you motioned behind you, “I fell asleep out back last night...just woke up actually. I’m sorry, I’ll go get ready an-”

But before you could leave and go get ready for the day, Vee held out her hand, stopping you before pulling out her phone, texting with one hand while you waited patiently, swaying slightly as you still woke up. When you heard the noise from her phone signaling she had sent a text to someone, she lowered her hand and smiled.

“Vee, you didn’t have to do that. I’m sorry I-”

“Please, look at you. Better yet, smell yourself. You reek! Go take a shower and come back down. I’m craving a mimosa. You and I will get breakfast together, think you need a break from all the museum directors breathing down your neck.”

You could only smile, nodding towards Vee before going in for a hug, stopping suddenly when she took a step back. “After your shower. I’m not letting you stink me up too.”

Letting out a laugh, you shook your head and made your way up the stairs, throwing your clothes off and into your laundry basket before heading into your bathroom to take a quick shower for the day.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

As much as yesterday was odd for Daniel, the new day had been even more odd. He wasn’t expecting much - maybe a phone call from his boss about his outburst yesterday - in fact, Daniel might have rather had that, then what he had been going through all morning.

“So let me get this straight...you want me to take your grandfather to the art gallery? I don’t see why you can’t just do it, Will.” Daniel explained, standing near his t.v. stand while Will, the kid from the restaurant, sat on his couch beside his grandfather, and Kali, the other girl from the restaurant, sat on his other side.

It would take a bigger idiot than Daniel to believe the mask he was wearing. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to give the man a ride and earn a few extra bucks, given how he was now out of a job, he just wasn’t ready to face you again.

“I got school. Remember? I’m only in high school still. Kali can’t cause she doesn’t have her license yet,” Will explained, shrugging his shoulders before motioning to his grandfather, who looked to be falling asleep, “Besides...he wants to go see an old student - that old student just so happens to be the girl you’re still obviously in love with-”

“Hey now, Will, I appreciate it...but I’m not still in love with her. That’s in the past, and I’ve moved on.” But had he? Had he really moved on?

Frowning, Will nodded and looked down, Kali glancing towards him before standing up, making her way to Daniel. Grabbing onto his arm, Kali smiled weakly at Daniel.

“Maybe if you don’t wanna go and see her, just go to appreciate the art? Who knows, maybe there will be a story there worth writing about? This could be your big break!” Kali suggested, trying to convince Daniel in any way she could to go. “Besides...you’re out of a job now, what exactly are you doing that’s keeping you from going?”

Opening his mouth, Daniel went to say something before realizing what the kids were doing - they were trying to help him out, cause after all...teenagers seemed to know more than he did.

Kali was right, even if he went and didn’t run into you, there could be a potential story there, something he could write about. That, and Daniel did always get along well with his high school art teacher, so maybe this wouldn’t be all that bad? It’d be good for him to get out of town.

Sighing, Daniel looked at Kali one last time before back at Will, then his grandfather who was now snoring on his couch, “Fine...I’ll take him. But if you guys are trying to set something up, you’re wasting your time. That’s in the past-”

He was surprised to feel the sets of arms wrap around him in a hug. Laughing lightly, Daniel awkwardly patted Kali and Will’s back. “Guys...come on now, you offer a bum cash and it’s going to take a lot for him to refuse.”

Feeling Kali pinch his side, Daniel jumped back, yelping before watching the two laugh now, Will’s grandfather now waking up and looking around, as if he were trying to figure out where he was at. Okay, so maybe taking care of him wouldn’t be all that fun, but it couldn’t be all that bad? Right?

“So, when do we leave?” Daniel asked, watching Will and Kali help his grandfather up before making their way to the door.

“Tomorrow morning. If you leave at six, you’ll get there by four - give or take traffic - we already have your room booked so you just have to check in once you get there.” Will explained, opening the front door to begin heading down the steps and outside.

Following the trio, Daniel helped in any way he could with getting the old man down the steps, making sure he didn’t slip and fall. When they finally got outside and loaded him into the passenger seat of the car, Daniel took a step back, eyes furrowed.

“Wait...six in the morning? Jesus...I haven’t got up that early since-”

“Since the Christmas banquet breakfast that you were late for, yes, we know,” Kali stated, shutting the passenger door before turning to look back up at Daniel, “Just...wake up on time. Will and I will be over here just about that time on our way to school. So just be ready, okay?”

Nodding, Daniel let out a huff and pushed his hair back, “Yeah, yeah, I can do that...you know I’m the adult here, right? You guys really like to boss me around, huh?” When he felt Kali hug him again, he could only soften, hugging her back. “I’ll be up, just - don’t expect a whole lot out of me on this. I’m getting him there and back, that’s it.”

“Totally, and if you so happen to fall back in love with the girl you can’t seem to get over, then that’s all the better.” Will noted, helping Kali in the backseat before getting in the car himself.

Shaking his head, Daniel made his way to the left side of the car, looking at Will and Kali, “Hey, how did you guys even find out about her? I mean...I’ve never brought her up before.”

“Well after yesterday’s incident, Kali and I looked her up and found some old photos of you guys from high school. I knew you went to our school so I asked my grandfather about you guys and, well, he told us the rest. It was Kali who suggested you go.” Will explained, motioning to the backseat towards Kali who was grinning.

Kali was a sweet girl, who was maybe a little too obsessed with love stories - but Daniel couldn’t deny their obvious findings. Especially after yesterday, they were right to assume some pushed down feelings of his.

Daniel could only hope that if he got the courage, he’d be able to tell you how he felt, how sorry he was after all these years. But after all these years, would you even want to hear what he had to say?

[muffinrecord]

How many of your followers are male pedophiles who only retweet the fetishized/swimsuit outfits?

Okay so like... I'm going to use this message real quick to talk about something serious. I think this anon is actually mentally unwell.

I don't use that in the way the internet typically does, which is "you are doing something I don't like, which means you have a mental illness." I don't mean this as a mean joke. I mean this sincerely and with some concern.

This anon has been at this for a long time, and even before Magia Record was actually going. I remember them bitching about Sleepless Domain on reddit before (and I think they still do!) and they always stick with the same ideas: that the only reason anyone is interested in darker magical girl content (even when written by women) is because they're male pedophiles getting off of girl's suffering. They'll write other things too, like how the genre is "proving that little girls have no value beyond suffering" or "the only way a girl is worth something is if she suffers/dies/provides something for men." But in general, this is what it revolves around.

You can always tell that who the anon is because of this. They don't change tactics. They don't ask different things. They always assume that fans are male pedophiles or that you like the series because there is something wrong with you. They don't change from this script.

I can't diagnose someone over the internet-- for one, I'm not a doctor and two it's over the internet. You can't understand someone from the little bit that they show you online.

However, a lot of what this anon does strikes me as very black-and-white thinking, they are absolutely obsessive about certain topics, and they have really odd reactions. I've gotten angry at them twice now and insulted them directly and they've... never actually responded to it. They'll respond to a small portion of the argument, but they never actually address the fact that I insulted them. I find this kind of off-putting, and I'm starting to think that there is more going on here besides a hobby of hating dark magical girl genres and their fans.

It might be because I had to get mental help, to the point of being hospitalized, but this anon is making me wonder if something is going on there too.

Because think about this logically for a second-- this anon is trying to argue that most of my followers are pedophiles and are following me because... once year-ish, I post characters practically t-posing in swimsuit image compilations, as part of costume sets? They're calling girls standing around and wearing swimsuits fetish content. This is their argument.

Maybe you think they're just being a troll, but I don't think that's the case.

There are so many other things you can bitch about for Magia Record. For example, Akari Mai has a horrendous design (which I complained about on this blog!) but this anon has never so much as mentioned her, or characters like Himika, Leila, or Kokoro. This anon never talks about Iroyachi or any other hot-button topic that is sure to get people talking. They always complain about things that don't actually matter or are easily disproven.

They follow the blog enough to know that I'm posting costume sets, but they don't follow it enough to know what makes the fandom upset? Like I said, I don't think this is a troll.

So again-- I do genuinely think that something is going on with this person mentally upstairs. I say this with no malice, because I also have problems with my brain that cause me to act and talk in ways that are off-putting.

Anyways, I'm saying all of this because I've seen people accuse anon of being a terf or an "anti" (whatever the fuck that is) or whatever, and I think the answer is just that this person is mentally unwell.

I decided I would no longer respond to this person because I don't want to get angry or insult or belittle a human who is struggling with issues and not doing this because of actual malice. However, I don't think that's working. I'm still getting messages from them once in a while. They're still getting something out of sending me stuff like this.

So....

I'm going to be turning off the anonymous function of my ask box permanently. I apologize because I know a lot of people prefer to use anon (I do too), but I feel like I'm feeding this person and their issues by keeping it up.

Anyways, I'm writing all of this publicly because they'll probably target someone else if I close myself off. Hell, I know I'm not the only one they target already. So, if this person starts to contact you, please know it's not actually about you. They're not actually doing this because you've done anything. They would do this to anyone.

And don't get mad at them or insult them like I have. It doesn't actually do anything to fix the problem, and it's possible it could make their thoughts worse. We're not responsible for why this person is acting this way, but it doesn't mean we should bully them or let them bully us.

So-- anon, I'm sorry for not realizing what was going on sooner, and I'm sorry for insulting you. I had to get help too. A few years ago, I was in a mental hospital for a week and that is one of the reasons I'm alive today. I hope you can get help for yourself, because this is an awful way to live.

[belovedbangtan]

Dive| Part 10 | jjk

<Masterlist>

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.6k

Series Description:  Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was   planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with   her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with  a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings: language, *this chapter mentions mentally abusive actions* *Very clingy/Jungkook and oc*, mentions of sex. For real... seriously CLINGY. 

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

They were attempting to be quiet but, their hushed tones were far from hushed. You’re awake now, eyes still closed as you process your current surroundings. You focus on the conversation that is seemingly between Jungkook, his cousin, and what you assume to be his aunt. She thanks him a countless amount of times and he tells her that it was no problem an equal amount of times. A hint of annoyance in his tone, but she clearly didn’t detect it at all. Then his cousin says something that you can barely make out, whispering being something she clearly comprehended; unlike her mother and Jungkook.

“We’re supposed to talk today, ill let you know what happens…” His voice veers off as if he suddenly became nervous.

“She cares about you Kook, I can tell. You care about her too, right?” she mumbles, no longer trying to whisper.

“A lot,” Is all you hear him respond with. His cousin giggles and tells him one final time not to stress and that everything will work out. She thanks him for the umpteenth time and they finally leave.

You wonder what time it is, laying there fully coherent but for some reason scared to open your eyes. After laying there for awhile and playing out every possible outcome, you decide to ‘wake up.’ Pulling yourself up into the sitting position, your pupils adjusting to the small amount of sunlight coming in from the windows.

“Good morning,” His voice is like honey, as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. “Do you want some coffee?”

A soft smile and a nod have him gathering a cup and pouring the liquid gold into it. After telling him that you’ll take it black, he walks it over to where you are on the couch. You take it into your cold hands, sighing after taking a drink. Holy shit you were hungover.

You sit in silence long enough to wonder why it suddenly felt odd. You had so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t formulate the proper way to bring it up.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” you murmur, his large doe eyes peak up from his mug.

“Of course,” He answers, his face freezes when he realizes he doesn’t know what to say either. Or maybe, like you, how to say it.

Things go quiet again, you hear the birds chirping outside and the slow morning flow of traffic. You adjust yourself so that you’re facing him directly, your legs crisscrossed beneath you. His hair was fluffy, tame, but fluffy. The area around his eyes is slightly swollen and you wonder if he got any sleep last night. Mindlessly you set your mug down on the coffee table and you start moving across the couch to where he is. You still don’t know what or how to express what you need to but maybe you don’t need words. His eyes flick to yours, at first, he looks panicked then it quickly changed to relief. A smile pulling at his lips as he leans forward to set his mug next to yours. With his hands free, he sits back as you straddle his sweatpants clad lap. You take a deep breath, drinking in his morning beauty as his hands find their way underneath his shirt that clung to your body, resting on your hips just above the waist band.

When your eyes meet his, you forget why you worried at all. A wave of complacency rushing through your veins. With him you felt safe, with him you had no worries. Your fingers delicately push their way through his fluffy locks, letting your nails lightly scratch his scalp. His eyes close instinctively as he exhales deeply. As his head falls backward, your eyes are drawn to the center column of his throat. Fantasizing about how good it would look decorated in your love bites.

Before you can act on it, his words are pulling you from your heed.

“I’m really sorry that I made you upset last night, I should have told you what was going on so you didn’t worry,” his eyes meet yours and they’re filled with regret.

“Well I appreciate your apology, but I’m the one who should be apologizing. I guess I was just… confused, it hurt seeing you with someone else obviously.” you explain softly your fingers steadily raking through his hair.

He hums at your words, his fingers delicately brushing along your spine. Fire spreading from the tips of his fingers through your cold body. His brows shoot up, “I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but I learned something because it did,” his head tilts to the side as he drinks you in.

Staring into his whiskey colored orbs longer than you should have, “What did you learn?”

“I learned that… seeing you cry is something I never want to do again. I only want to make you happy, never sad,” He reaches up to cup your jaw, his eyes scanning over your face frantically.

Looking away from him, you feel your eyes start to well up. He inhales quickly before adjusting beneath you, “No… no, what did I say? I didn’t mean to ma…” he starts to panic, wondering what he said wrong.

“Remember when we were camping? And you told me I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life,  and I started to cry?” You chuckle. He reaches up to wipe away your tear. His body visibly relaxes when you compare the situations.

“Mhm, and you told me that no one had every talked to you like that,” his voice is quiet. You have to swallow the lump in your throat when you realize he remembers that moment as clear as you do.

“Well it’s true, ya know? I don’t know if I’ve ever been properly…loved,” You start to explain, “At the same time, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about anyone else. You make me feel like I’m crazy. There’s something about you that’s so intoxicating to me. I’ve never experienced having someone care about me the way you do or pay attention to me the way you do. It’s all so new to me, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not terrified.”

When you look up at him, he’s nervously chewing the side of his mouth. You laugh through your nose, leaning forward to press your lips to his. When you start to pull away his lips chase after yours. He kisses you a little more passionately this time as his hand wraps itself around the back of your neck pulling you down to him again. Breathlessly you pull apart, his hand still holding you close as your forehead rest on his.

“I’ve never been in this deep for someone, y/n. I’ve never cared about someone as much as I do you. I don’t know why. I can’t explain why I have these feelings for you but, I do. You make me so happy, and you bring a peacefulness that I’ve never felt before. I fucked up once, and I promise you that I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Like I said… only want to make you happy.”

Your tears are mixing with his, and you can’t stop them from coming. You know that everything he’s telling you is true. You know that even though he hurt you, he didn’t mean to. You know that if you allow him too, he will love you with all of his heart for the rest of his life.

“I know we were going to talk about this tonight, but I can’t wait anymore, “His voice was shaking, almost as if he was unsure of the words that were about to be spoken. He sits up tall so that his face is mere inches from your own. He swallows hard, and his nerves start to rub off on you.

You raise your brows giving him a gentle smile as your fingers slide down to the back of his neck, silently telling him that he didn’t need to be nervous. He exhales loud in response.

His hands quivering as they rest on your sides, “I want to be with you. I want to be all yours, and I want you to be mine. I know what I want, and I don’t want you to be confused about anything anymore. Will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

Your chest tightens with every confession that leaves his lips. The overwhelming feeling to scream or yell or cry. His eyes scanning your face for an answer, a hint, anything to ease his nerves.

Your voice is shot, so you nod aggressively. Tears shaking off of your face. Before you can get your full response out his lips are on yours fervent and passionate as his fingers lace in your hair on the back of your head to pull you closer to him.

He pulls back to take you in once again, “I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re finally mine.”

You giggle as he pulls you in again kissing you slower this time, taking in the details to remember this specific moment and the exact way he feels. He wonders if he should tell you he loves you. He wants to, he wants to scream it from the roof top. He was honest about never being this deep. Part of him thought he may never know what it felt like to be in love. Up until you, it was short relationships that were always one sides and lacked something vital. Up until you, love didn’t exist. To him, you were love.

“So, does this mean…we can get breakfast instead of dinner? I’m literally starving to death,” Your stomach groans rip through the silent room. Jungkook instantly starts to die of laughter.

“Yes baby, I’ll make you some pancakes, sound good?” He shakes his head, giggling at your dramatic head nod.

Sitting across from him as you eat breakfast, reality set in. Everything felt surreal. Every fiber of your being was ready to dive into what ever was in store for you and Jungkook. As much as you convinced yourself that you were ready for the next step, there was no denying that you were terrified of giving your heart to him. Obviously, the sexual attraction was there, but you wondered if that was part of what was making everything so intense for you.

Jungkook was an anomaly to you in so many ways. He was caring, attentive, and insanely attractive. The most dangerous thing about him, however, was his ability to bring you to your knees; literally and figuratively. He was like a sex God that you couldn’t say ‘no’ to, because why would you? During your time away from him, you wondered how you would feel if you hadn’t allowed yourself to be with him sexually. The automatic intimacy was something about your relationship that made you miss it; made you miss him.

“What’s on your mind?” His voice is laced in innocence as he cocks his head to the side. Stacking your plate on top of his. You have to laugh at his innate ability to see through you. Another reason it was so hard to deny your chemistry.

“I guess, I was just thinking about us,” your bottom lip is instantly sucked into your teeth as you look away from him.

You hear him hum as he stands to put your plates in the sink, “Anything you want to share?” he asks. You can tell he’s somewhat anxious by the way he avoids you. His back turned away from you as he fidgets with the dirty dishes in the sink. You stand and wrap your arms around the back of him.

“Nothing bad, I don’t think at least… just maybe want to take things… slow.” You mumble into his back, feeling his quiet chuckles rumble against your cheek. He turns in your arms, brushing your hair behind your ears before cupping each side of your head.

“I’m listening,” He smiles.

You take a deep breath as you explain how you feel. Ultimately ending by telling him that you want to wait awhile before the two of you do anything sexually.

“It’s not like I don’t want to, I just think it’s smart if we maybe slow things down a bit. The way we should have at the start. I like you a lot Jungkook, and I want to be confident that we exist outside of our sexual attraction…” you ramble, his attention on you never faltering. “Do you hate me now?”

His eyes scrunch together, appalled that you would ever assume that he could hate you.

“I could never hate you,” He presses his lips to your cold nose, “What I feel for you is way more than sex. But I get that I need to prove that to you, and I will. I think that if that if it’s something you need from me than I will go as slow as you need me to.”

“You promise you’re not mad? Or upset?” you ask him quietly, swallowing hard. He lightly grips your chin, pulling your face up so that you’re looking at him.

“Baby… why do you think I would be mad?” He asks, his voice is soft and concerned.

“I-I don’t know,” your chest starts to tighten, and tears start to build up in the corners of your eyes, “Ben would get mad if I didn’t want to. He always made me feel guilty because I made him wait three months before we had sex. He said he didn’t mind at first, but he did.”

Jungkook wraps his arms around your shoulders pulling your in close. His face red with fury. If he thought he had reasons to hate Ben before, now he had motive for murder. He lifts you up, setting you on the counter so he can stand eye to eye with you.

“Look at me baby,” he demands softly, “I would never make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with me. You are so much more than your body and I need you to know that. We can take things as slow as we need to take them. I want you to trust me completely, I will never hurt you.” He pleads, begging for you to believe that he was someone different.

Tears building in his own eyes now, guilt of his own words and actions weighing even heavier. He knew that he hurt you when you overheard his conversation with Ben, but it was so much more than that. You let your walls down for him, and he completely let you down. He pulls you into him tighter this time. Understanding how vital it is for him to love you properly. To show you how incredibly special you are to him.

Your conversation ended there. You both moved to the couch, deciding to watch a movie while you cuddled with one another; not quite yet ready to let one another go.

“Abby is going to lose it when she finds out we’re actually together.” You murmur into his chest with a giggle. You feel his chest shake when he starts to laugh quietly.

“Yeah Jimin and Tae have been making bets on if and when it would happen.”

“Assholes,” You shake your head, rolling your eyes at their immaturity. At the same time you cant blame them for finding a way to make your roller coaster of emotions somewhat entertaining for them.

“Are you going to Jimin’s movie night tomorrow?”

“Yeah, should we tell them then?” you ask

“Maybe… or maybe we should have some fun with it?” He grins down at you.

“I’m listening…” You tilt your head on his chest to look up at him.

“Well if Jimin and Tae are betting on us, you know Abby is playing along too. So, what if we tricked them. When we show up tomorrow, we not only act like were not dating… but as if we have no feelings at all. They’ll be so confused.” He giggles.

“When do we tell them?” you bite your lip, weighing out the scenario in your head. You know they’ll be pissed but that’s what makes it intriguing.

“Mmm… I guess when we leave? Unless they catch on before that.” He shrugs, looking down at you.

“They’re gonna be pissed,” You giggle raising your brows.

“I know,” He laughs, clearly that’s the point for him.

“Alright lets do it.”

Movie night comes faster than expected. You almost fucked up the plan by  wearing Jungkook’s sweater over your leggings. Last minute you had to run inside and switch it out for one of your own. You and Jungkook ride together, deciding that you’ll go inside a few minutes before him. You’ll tell everyone that you took an Uber if they ask.

“Remember, pretend I don’t exist.” Jungkook reminds you, as he pulls into the parking spot. You glance over at him, nodding your head. His sharp jawline on full display as he chews at his bottom lip. His tattooed arm flexing as he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. He reaches down and puts his car into park. As soon as he does you instantly reach across turning his head to look at you.

“You say that like it’s going to be easy…” You mumble as you drink in his facial features, the mole just under his lip begging to be kissed. His lips start to pull into a smirk. Without thinking you push yourself out of your seat and over to his lap. Straddling him with one leg on either side of his. His eyes follow your every movement, his breath hitching when you finally make yourself comfortable. His hands naturally reaching behind you to cup your ass over the thick material of your leggings.

Finally facing the truth, you will never get used to the way he looks you. His dark caramel colored eyes reminding you of Whiskey in more ways than one. The way they warm your entire body from head to toe, or the way that they make you want to risk it all; never thinking about the consequences. Completely and utterly intoxicating.

You lean in kissing his cheek with a feather light touch, his eyes never leaving you. With your fingers just below his jaw, your lips dance along his cheek, closer and closer to his plump lips. Both of you letting out a sigh of relief when you finally reach them. Your lips fitting together as if they were made for each other. His tattooed hand suddenly comes up to your neck pulling you desperately closer. His tongue teasing your bottom lip just before he decides to let it slide inside. Your tongues tangle together for what feels like a century, until he pulls away, trapping your bottom lip in between his teeth as he does.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this,” He giggles as he tries to regulate his breathing. You giggle as you leave a trail of kisses down the side of his neck. You know it’s not helping the situation but if you’re not allowed to talk to him or look at him for the next 3 hours you needed to get in what you could now. With one final, long, kiss to his lips you open his car door to let yourself out.

“It’ll be worth it,” You giggle, realizing his hand was still holding onto yours. You look at his lap realizing that you caused quite the situation. You wince, biting your lip as you look at him with sorry eyes. “Ill go inside and let you figure that out,” You giggle as you start to walk away.

“I thought you were supposed to be sweet?!” He yells out sarcastically, only making you laugh harder.

It was harder than you thought it would be. Not because you desperately wanted to snuggle up to Jungkook on the couch, but because between Tae, Jimin, and Abby; you couldn’t catch a break. The second you were in the door they were on you like bats out of hell. Asking you every question under the moon about you and Jungkook and your impending status. You immediately excused yourself to the restroom, claiming you had to pee the entire way here. Once you were away you texted Jungkook telling him to come inside so they would stop hounding you. You knew they wouldn’t talk about it if you were in the same room.

Conveniently, Jungkook walked into the apartment as soon as you walked back into the kitchen. You smiled at him, then quickly excused yourself to the living room to sit and wait for the movie to start. Jungkook follows your lead, sitting directly across the room from you. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, and you wish you had the ability to read his mind. The not so quiet whispers from the kitchen catch your attention. You have to giggle a bit at how overdramatic they were being. No doubt, they were confused. If it weren’t for Yoongi yelling out for them to join everyone in the living room, they probably would have stayed in the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening.

They all file into the room, their eyes casually flicking from you to Jungkook. Abby cuddles up to Yoongi, her eyes tight on you. You avoid her at all cost, knowing she would try to communicate through her eyes. Jimin sits with Jungkook and Tae plops down next to you. His innocent smile playing on his lips as he turns his head and looks you up and down.

“You doin okay?” His brow lifts as he asks you.

“Uhm… yeah?” You giggle, scrunching your brows as you adjust the cover that lays over your body, “Are you?” you smile.

He looks over at Jungkook, who is seemingly immersed in whatever is on his phone screen.

“Im… good.” He answers, his brain still trying to put the pieces together. Jimin is talking to Jungkook but it doesn’t look like he’s getting the answers he wants. As Yoongi presses play on the movie, all of the questions come to a halt. You can still feel Abby’s eyes burning into your head. Midway through the movie you can tell they’re all texting one another, each of their phones going off at the same time.

Your phone goes off a few minutes later…

Kookie:

He keeps asking me and I keep shrugging my shoulders. He’s losing it… this is so funny.

Wait awhile to respond, they’re watching.

Controlling your reaction on your face was harder than you thought it would be. You calmly set your phone down, resting your head on the couch. A few minutes later you decide to go to the restroom, pulling your phone out to text Jungkook back.

Y/n:

Yeah they’re for sure losing their minds.

… this is kinda hard.

*send*

You glance at yourself in the mirror, fidgeting with your appearance. A risque thought comes to your mind. You know you shouldn’t but, at the same time, you can’t think of a reason not to. You quickly take your hoodie off of your body and slide your leggings down your legs. Adjusting the waistband of your panties, then adjusting your girls in your bra. You sit on the edge of the bathroom counter, making your ass look fuller than it actually is. After playing with angles, you decide to take your bra off since he can see your tits from this angle anyway. After a few tries you finally capture the perfect picture.

Plopping down on to the couch, you wait a few minutes until you see Jungkook take his phone out of his pocket. Hiding your phone, you quickly press send, and adjust yourself so you can see his reaction. His eyes suddenly widen as he rearranges himself on the couch. His eyes flick up to yours, making your chest burn with a simple look. His pupils are blown out as he gnaws on the corner of his mouth anxiously. He pulls a pillow over his lap and waits a few more minutes before responding.

Kookie:

Baby doll, this was not a part of the plan.

I cant stop mentally undressing you now.

 As you read the message, the corners of your mouth lift into a cocky smirk. The pillow over his crotch tells you everything you need to know. As the movie comes to an end, everyone starts to talk about their weekend plans. Jungkook is quiet as his eyes are locked on you. His leg bouncing beneath him, as he leans on his elbow. You pick up your phone trying to decide on the words to say. As your fingers ghost over the screen, you can’t seem formulate what you want to say to him. You slowly look up and when you make eye contact with him, your mind is made up.

You slide your phone into your hoodie pocket, as you slowly push yourself off of the couch. Jimin going on about weekend plans in the background, but you and Jungkook are in a world of your own. As you walk across the room, you don’t notice when the room goes silent. Jungkook instantly perks up when he realizes what’s happening. Straightening his posture, he moves the pillow on his lap, and you take its place. Straddling him as if no one is in the room. Leaning into him, you gently slide your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck pulling his face up to yours.

Both of your smiles disappear when his lips hit yours, pressing into you for longer than he should have. When you finally pull away your rest your forehead against his.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” Abby and Jimin scream nearly in sync with one another. You and Jungkook both start to die of laughter, as you adjust yourself to sit in his lap facing the others.

Taehyung, Jimin and Abby staring at you like you have three heads.

“Are you… are you together? Officially?” Abby throws Yoongi’s arm off of her so that she can stand up.

You look at Jungkook, and you both nod.

“Finally! For fucks sake. It took you long enough.” Yoongi groans out of nowhere, expressing the thoughts that were on everyone mind. The whole room erupts into laughter, and snide comments about how cruel we were to trick everyone. Abby and Jimin expressing their annoyance with not being called immediately.

“We just thought it would be funny. We know you guys have been placing bets on when it would happen, “Jungkook says as his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you in closer to him as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck.

An overwhelming feeling of contentment washes over you. Jungkook’s lips lightly brushing against your shoulder as if he needed to make up for the time that he wasn’t able to. His fingers laced with yours as his thumb brushes the back of your hand. It felt so natural. Even everyone around you had seemed to move on, clearly it felt right to them too.

His lips trail from your shoulder up to your ear, moving your hair out of the way, “No one will ever wonder if we’re together anymore. From now on, everyone will know that you’re mine and I’m yours.��  

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

Taglist:

@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @lofikoo​ @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298 @kawaiiayasan @ jeonchan26  @ambersaesthetics​ @hopekookies​ @rumpucis @iaintnohollybackgirl

A/N: THANK YOU for your patience on this chapter. There will be one more chapter (maybe two) after this one! I got a new job and life has been hectic. Please let me know what you think! (let all of your favorite writers know how much you love their work! We appreciate it more than you know!)

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Hello. I am, as you know, an American. I turned eighteen in 2014, voted in my first presidential election in 2016, and voted in my second presidential election last week via early voting in the state of Texas. 

I’m reflecting right now on the difference between those experiences. This is going to be a very self-indulgent essay. 

The 2016 election was in my third and final year of undergrad at Texas A&M University. At the time, I was living with a roommate who grew up in a town of 2,000, all of them members of her church. I loved her very much, but she was the most sheltered person I’ve ever met. 

I was only a few years ahead of her. My home growing up was deeply liberal about many of the things that counted, but deeply conservative on equally important things. For me, leaving for college was a radicalization speed-run.

I, a good Memphis girl, moved to Texas and encountered for the first time in my life white homogeny and everything that comes with it. I made most of my friends at A&M through a Christian orientation camp that I attended, then worked at. I went to school at a history department that was overwhelmingly male and war-obsessed. 

My second semester, I was randomly sorted into a writing seminar on the American Civil War and Reconstruction. There were eight other students in that class, all of them Texans. By day two I had gotten into a open fight with one of my classmates after he used the phrases “one of the humane parts of slavery” and “the secession declarations are moving and beautiful appeals, if you read them,” and “well I’m not going to criticize my own state.”

We got into at least one yelling match per week from that point forward. It was a formative experience for me-- not just him but the seven other students that took his side every time because they just couldn’t conceptualize anything outside of their own experiences, and frankly, I couldn’t either. 

It rocked my world to be surrounded by people who told me, among other things, that their high schools flew the Confederate battle flag or Lee was their all time role-model (because he actually didn’t want to secede! He didn’t believe in it, but Virginia did, so he put his own qualms aside and served his country, and that’s what we all have to do). I ran a survey once by knocking on every door in a dorm hall and asking the two people inside why the Civil War happened. 

I feel like you can guess the most common answer I got. Only two said slavery. Six didn’t know what the Civil War was. 

The last week of the semester, my class read a collection of recorded oral accounts of freed slaves during Reconstruction. My nemesis told me that he “didn’t realize black people actually had it bad.” At the same time, I was struggling with my sexuality, my relationship to my religion, my relationship with my parents, and a handful of newly-diagnosed but long-existing mental illnesses. I wasn’t having fun. 

Over the next three years, I tried my hardest to humanize the people that said disgusting things about minorities, poverty, and me personally. I barely won on that one, and I’m actually really proud that I did, even if it took me a few years. I can trace the biggest change in me directly to my nemesis from the history department, the kid that made me so mad that I started arguing back. I was too scared to do that before. 

By 2016, I was in full existential spin-out-- a very suddenly liberal kid fighting my whole family, all of my classmates, and most of my friends in an explosive political climate, the first I had ever participated in. 

I voted by Tennessee absentee ballot in 2016. On election night, I ordered takeout for me and my roommate, who I knew had voted red. Confident, like pretty much everybody, that Clinton would win, I was trying to show her that I didn’t hate her. She went to bed after dinner, also so certain that Clinton would win that she didn’t bother to stay up. 

I sat in front of my laptop sewing a birthday present for a friend (Kenza, actually), while the votes came in. I wasn’t super alarmed when the map turned red. I just figured the blue states hadn’t finished counting yet. 

The map didn’t get any bluer. By 1am, I knew what was about to happen. They called it an hour later, while I was sobbing on my floor. I threw up in the bathroom out of pure anxiety. I got two anonymous messages telling me the asker was going to commit suicide. Neither of them responded to my replies. I don’t actually know what happened to them. 

I remember riding the bus to class the next morning and distinctly seeing that most of the racial minorities there had swollen eyes from crying. The girl with the pride stickers all over her laptop didn’t show up that day, and I’m kind of glad she didn’t, considering the way some of our classmates in the back were loudly talking about “the gays.” Hope she’s okay.

My roommate came home completely unaware that Clinton lost. I was crying in my room when that happened. I remember showing her a demographic map of who voted which way. She got visibly upset when she figured out what races how. I think she really did feel guilty. 

That Thanksgiving, one of my cousins tweeted, “I can’t wait to go argue with my liberal cousin today. The wins. Keep. Coming,” an hour before he walked into my house. Inauguration day was January 20, 2017. I decided to go to law school a week later, the day the president signed the Muslim ban. That’s when I figured out for the first time just how much power the courts have. The last three years have only enforced that. 

I got angrier and angrier during law school, egged on by a few friends but more than anything just... finally conscious of exactly how the American system works and exactly who’s behind it. I still live in Texas, farther west now, and I’m working my first legal job. I’m going to be a licensed attorney next week. 

I went back and forth for months about how this election was going to shake out. I knew there wasn’t going to be an overwhelming red majority this time, but my big fear was an election close enough that the Supreme Court could take it. That fear doubled last month, at RBG’s death. 

I was hoping for a blue enough victory on election night that there wouldn’t be a week of uncertainty, but that was unlikely, and it didn’t happen. I obsessively refreshed my election map all of Wednesday and Thursday, aware that at least some states would flip after mail-in ballots came in, but unsure which would. 

Again, my great fear was a blue victory held down by only one state. Given (I would say “any” chance here, but I don’t mean “any” chance because genuinely jurisdiction or facts or legal merit don’t matter to the Supreme Court) an opportunity to make one (1) decision that hands over a red election, please know that a conservative supermajority would take it. I cannot emphasize enough how true that is and how important it is for all of us to grasp that. 

Watching Georgia flip was one of the best experiences of my life, and it’s a little hard for me to articulate why, but I’m going to give it a shot here. I’m southern. I’m from the South, and for this conversation it’s really important that I’m from Memphis, a black city and a center of black music and culture. 

When people think about the South, they think of the white South, and on some level, they should. It is absolutely essential to understand the white South in order to understand American history. Let me be 100% clear here. That is not a good thing. American majority history is not good. We are not a good country. 

It’s near-impossible to understand why that’s true without knowing exactly what happened in the white South and exactly what is still happening there now. With that, however, is another truth that most folks don’t get. 

The SouthTM is white and needs to die. The South as it actually exists is partially white yes, but it is also everyone else that lives here, particularly black folks. Southern culture is black, not white. Georgia flipped because the people that have always, always been there finally got to crack apart the conservative machine holding the South hostage. 

That’s amazing. It’s fucking mind-blowing. I watched it happen at 3:30 in the morning days after Election Day, and holy shit holy shit, Georgia flipped. Atlanta won. Holy fucking shit. 

I would be terrified right now if only Georgia flipped, because SCOTUS would have found a way to throw out a few thousand votes. Inevitable. Absolutely certain on that one. 

With a few states of buffer, I don’t think that’s going to happen. I really do think it’s over. 

I came home after work on Friday and immediately went to sleep because I hadn’t really done that since Tuesday. I woke up at noon today, checked the map, checked my messages, and saw what happened while I was gone. After that, I went back to bed until 5:30pm. I’m really just getting up now, after most of 24 hours asleep. 

I don’t know if I would say that I’m happy right now, but I am overwhelmingly relieved. I’m under no illusions that a Biden victory will solve everything, but I also do think this is a real thing to celebrate. I’ll take suggestions on how to celebrate right now, actually, since I’m finally awake. 

I’ll be angry forever, I think, but this is a good thing, and I’d like to enjoy it. If you’re happy right now, hey, tell me about it. I’ll be thrilled with you. I want to hear it. Congrats to all of us. Love y’all. 

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 2 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

Words: 1,889

Masterlist:

Chapter 1 // Chapter3

"I hate needles,” The girl complains with a pout as Pepper removes the needle from her arm.

"Tony hates them too,” She turns and they both see Tony making a funny face when he puts a bandage on his arm. Rhodey crosses his arms and shakes his head.

"Very funny," says Tony.

"Why are we doing this?" Lily asks. The three adults look at each other.

"It's just to see if you have any illness, but don't worry,” the girl nods and jumps down from the chair while they continue talking.

"When will that be ready?" Tony complains.

"In a few days," Pepper answers.

Lily decides to walk through Tony's study completely ignoring the adults.

"Tony, have you thought about what you will do if she turns out to be your daughter?" Rhodes asks.

Stark sighs.

"I guess neither of you will want to adopt her,” they both shake their heads. "Surely someone in an orphanage will do it…” He shrugs.

Pepper and Rhodes share a worried look.

“Tony, you have to think better of it. She’s not a puppy you can abandon.”

“Trust me, she’ll be better off with another family than with me. It's pretty obvious that I'm not ready to raise someone, maybe I never will be.”

While they keep trying to convince Tony. Lily looks closely at all the 'toys' in that place. She laughs at the brightly colored cars. She walks up to them, opens the door of a red one, and sits behind the wheel. She pretends to drive it by making noises.

Tony sees her from afar and makes a face.

“Also, watch her. Maybe it's just a trick to take my money, she's already testing the cars.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes.

“She’s just playing, Tony. That's what six-year-olds do.”

At that, the door of the workshop opens and a man in a suit enters panting.

"I'm here, what do you need, boss?”

"You're late,” Tony answers.

“You sent me to do other things, sir. What's the uh-?" He checks his cell phone. "'Problem of catastrophic consequences'?" He quotes.

Before Rhodes and Pepper could complain, Tony points to the car where the girl is, who's watching everything from her seat. Happy Hogan raises his eyebrows.

"Do you want me to take care of your… niece?" he asks, unsure. Tony sighs.

"I want you to take care of her.”

"In what way, sir?”

"Yes, Tony,” challenges Rhodes. "In what way?”

“Okay, enough attacking me. You all know that as a parent I would be the worst option in life. Even Happy would be better,” He points out.

"Father? Is this his daughter?”

“Do you really want me to take care of someone? I can't even take care of myself!”

"That's ... true," says Pepper. "But this is different.”

"In what way?" Tony shakes his head. "Anyway, she’ll be here for a few days, but if it turns out not mine, she’ll leave. If the test is positive,” He looks back at the girl and sighs. "I'll solve it.”

***

"And what is this called?" asks Happy from the couch.

“Bear," replies Lily, watching the teddy bear on his hands.

"Makes sense to me," the man agrees.

"She's not very smart," Tony whispers, taking his beer.

“Sir, remember that your flight is at 4:00 a.m. to go to Vegas,” says Pepper entering the room.

Tony closes his eyes. He had completely forgotten about the trip to the awards for… something.

"I'll take care of Lily until you come back,” informs the redhead.

“You'll leave?" asks the girl. "When are you coming back?”

“Never.”

"He'll only be gone one day, honey," Pepper fixes. "Maybe at night he’ll already be here.”

Lily nods and goes back to Happy to show him more toys.

"Okay, we’re going. I have to leave early too,” says Rhodes. He walks to Lily and smiles at her. "See you later, smarty,” He raises his palm and the girl responds by high-fiving.

"Bye, Rhodey,” Tony groans.

Pepper and Rhodes leave the Stark house hoping that everything can be resolved soon.

"Whose letter is this, Lily?" asks Happy pulling out an envelope. The girl looks at it and quickly snatches it away. This gets Tony's attention.

"It's for my dad.”

Hogan sees his boss.

"And why don't you give it to him?”

“I still don't know who he is. The test is not ready,” She says it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Have you been listening to everything, girl?" Tony says.

“You were yelling, how could I not listen? And I'm not stupid. I know what a paternity test is.”

"Why? Has your mom already done many?”

“Yes.”

"So I'm not the first fool?”

“They weren't for me. And if you think that a girl like me can cheat you then you are a fool.”

They both glare at each other. Happy looks at them, uncomfortable. He clears her throat.

"And what is your favorite color?”

“Red," replies Lily without taking her eyes off Tony.

Stark snorts.

"Whatever. I'll go to sleep,” He goes to his room.

"Uh, I have to go too, little one," says Happy. “But we'll see you soon. Tomorrow I'll take you to Pepper's apartment…”

“Happy?"

“Yes?"

“I have nowhere else to go,” she says with a pout, “if Tony’s not my dad. I can't go home. My mom is no longer there.”

He crouches down to her level.

"Easy, everything will be fine. We won’t leave you alone.”

"You promise?”

"I promise.”

***

"I know it's not as big as Tony's, but it's something," says Pepper, letting her pass.

"I like it. Has a lot of light,” The girls smiles.

Meanwhile Tony completely forgets the awards where he was invited, playing in the casinos. The two girls are having fun in Pepper's apartment.

They play, they talk, Pepper asks the girl questions about her mother and she answers honestly, but the woman knows that she is still hiding several things, perhaps out of fear. She doesn't pressure her. Lily also asks questions and is happy to note that Pepper doesn't get upset or yell at her for talking so much.

At that moment, Lily learns who Tony Stark really is. A famous businessman who makes weapons for the army. He is smart and went to a major university. She also found out about his parents and how he managed to move on. Lily cannot deny that this is all very difficult and she now understands why Tony is moody.

The little girl had her fair share of hard life. Lily tells the redhead a bit about how her mom was hardly home and how she got hurt so easily.

But the real concern came at night, when Lily screamed in her sleep. Her screams sounded throughout the apartment, Pepper saw her suffering on the bed, asking for help. And when she managed to wake her, the only thing she could do for her was comfort her sobs until she could sleep again.

She doesn't know what Lily suffered, but that's over. She promises to do something about it.

The calm day does not last long. The nightmares struck and now they must return to Tony's house.

The next day, Pepper receives a call from Tony to take care of a new conquest that he had just brought to Malibu.

They both return to the big house. Lily runs into the living room, takes off her backpack and takes out the notebook that Pepper gave her to draw.

Before she could finish the first drawing, a blonde woman dressed in barely an ink-colored shirt arrives and begins to browse the place without knowing that she is there.

Lily frowns and stands up.

"Who you are?" The woman screams in fright and turns to see her.

"Who are you?”

"I asked first.”

The blonde sighs, buttons her shirt, trying to cover herself more, without success.

“My name is Christine Everhart. I work for Vanity Fair magazine.”

"And what are you doing here if you work in a magazine?”

The blonde opens her mouth not knowing what to say.

"You haven't told me who you are yet,” she replies.

“I'm Lily. And I don't work in a magazine,” She smiles.

She remembers the instructions Pepper told her yesterday. No one can know that she’s the possible daughter of Tony Stark. She should hide from others, but if someone asked, she had to come up with an excuse.

"And what is a girl doing at Tony Stark's mansion?”

“I’m his friend and sometimes I can come. Are you going to stay longer?" She complains.

“You're friend of his?”

"I see that you already woke up, miss,” says Pepper arriving with freshly cleaned clothes.

As the women talk, Lily decides to leave. She walks through the house until she comes across some stairs to the side of a waterfall decoration. She hears noises of metal colliding. Maybe Tony is downstairs, she thinks.

She goes down the stairs encountering a large glass wall. On the other side she sees Tony working on a car.

She stands on tiptoe to grab the door handle, but it doesn't respond. Lily complains. This did not happen to her when she first arrived.

“You're not authorized to enter this place, miss,” answers J.A.R.V.I.S scaring the little girl. She still doesn't get used to the voice.

“But I want to enter.”

"Lily, wait," says Pepper coming down. She touches a small screen that was not there before. She clicks on some numbers, opens the door, and lets her pass.

The girl looks curiously at the glass wall and makes a mental note to learn the numbers to enter by herself. She looks back at Tony and walks over. She watches what he does with the car without really understanding.

"How does that work?" Lily asks, pointing to a part of the engine. Tony slaps her hand lightly.

"Do not touch anything.”

"I just asked what it's for!” She exclaims.

He gets up ignoring her. The two adults keep talking about important things. But Lily is only interested in the fact that Tony must travel again, but now he has to go further away.

"Do you always travel?”

"If I want to.”

“Aren't you afraid to go on a plane? Don't you miss your home? Aren't you afraid of never coming back? Doesn't it bother you to sleep in another bed than yours?”

"The only thing that bothers me now is you,” He points out. Lily frowns.

"Sir, you must go," interrupts Pepper.

“Do you really want to get rid of me? You have plans?" Tony asks her. Both are very close. Lily looks at them confused.

"Actually, yes. I have plans for my birthday.”

"It's your birthday?" Tony asks, but a squeal interrupts them.

"It's your birthday!?" Lily asks surprised. Pepper laughs in agreement. "Why didn't you say anything!?”

"Easy, honey…”

"I can’t stay calm. I must give you a gift!” Her mind thinks of a good gift in a short time. “Do you like drawings?”

“Yes.”

"Well, I'm not late,” she says, nodding.

She runs to the door, grabs the handle, but it won't budge… again.

"Quick, give me the password, I have things to do!”

"I still don't understand the charm of children," says Tony.

"You'll see, sir," says Pepper laughing.

Taglist: 

If your username is crossed out it's because Tumblr didn't let me tag you, sorry. If you want to be removed from the taglist, you can tell us, we also make mistakes, lol

@stardusthigh   @sarcasticallywitty15​ @silenthappyplace​ @yourbonesareinmybody​  @aylauwuuniverse @tyb1​ @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @poetryislife0715 

[forbidding-souda]

Hello there! If I got it right, you're doing a prompt request? So, if yes, can I have some Kazu x reader and Hiro x reader with prompts 18+40? I just,,, feel like it'll be very neat. Thank you for your blog and works!! And for amount of a best boi Kazu on your blog!!! and sry if i misunderstood your reblog of prompts eheh......

18: “I’d do anything for you” with Kazuichi Souda 40: “I’m too afraid to fall in love” with Hagakure Yasuhiro

You got it right! I’ve actually never seen someone call him Kazu before, it’s so cute oml I love it. Your mind is so large for picking 18 with Kazu btw. I love this and I love you!! Team Kazu!!!

If you’re reading this - I also didn’t spell check this one so hopefully I didn’t make any pronoun or grammar mistakes. :D

-Mod Souda

Kazuichi Souda

Thunk, thunk. You drag your suitcase up the stairs, both of your shoulders occupied by colorful backpacks.

You lived far away from Hope’s Peak, of course, so you decided to move closer.

This means carrying all the stuff you brought.

Which was everything.

Your arms ached, as you are not the most hardworking person out there, and you definitely would rather pay a butler to do it.

“Woah, hey there!” A cheery voice calls out. When you turn to look, you don’t recognize him. Is he calling to someone else?

“Do you need help carrying all that?” So he is talking to you. His beady, pink iris’s meet yours, and for a second, your heart skips a beat.

But you play it off.

“I most certainly do!” You respond, letting his pale hands take the suitcase away from you. He’s even kind enough to slip one of your backpacks over his shoulders.

You can see his collarbones through his jumper, and how his face is angled and sharp.

Strong hands too.

And he helped you to your room, spending his time casually flirting.

Which you don’t pick up at all.

Then you say you are going to Hopes Peak and he !!!

“I’m going there too!”

Oh thank god at least you will recognize someone in the halls.

Ever since then, now that he knows where you live, he has taken it upon himself to walk you to school.

He likes doing kind things for you, things like opening the door and whatnot.

It makes him happy to see you smile.

And one day you’ll be feeling down, a solid 5/10, with your headphones on and your gaze to the floor.

He contemplates what to do, his brain is filled with ideas. If he buys you something, will it make it obvious that he likes you? He doesn’t exactly think he’s being subtle about it, but you were responding normally to his advances.

He spends so much time thinking about it that he doesn’t realize you both are already in the classroom.

You sit down, your cheek rested on your palm and your breathes slow and heavy.

Kazuichi can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. He watches you steadily, observing the way you move, trying to figure out what’s wrong.

Sonia even asks him what’s wrong, wondering if he’s gone ill or something, and he will casually brush off her worries and reassure her.

He pauses though, and then asks her what cheers her up when she’s down.

She puts a finger to her cheek, her soft smile still occupying her face as she thinks of an answer. “Maybe just spending time with all my friends!

“D-Does it work with anyone?” He whispers, in case you are listening in on the conversation. Sonia lets out a laugh and clasps her hands together, “I think everyone likes hanging out with their friends.”

He makes a note of all the things he would make you do after class ends. What about a picnic? Or going on a walk through the city?

Mentally he slaps himself. Those are all romantic things! What do friends do?

By the time class ends, he has definitely planned everything.

Is what he thinks.

But you leave first, making him panic!

Are you... mad at him for something? The thought hasn’t even crossed his mind.

Oh no, did he say something to make you upset without realizing it? He was always afraid of that.

When he walks outside he sees you by the door, waiting for him.

He freaked out over nothing! Wow, you can’t believe he overthought it.

“Ahaha, I thought you left me!”

You give him a small smile, “Eh, I thought about it.” With a tiny laugh, you turn and head down the hall.

“W-Wait, S/O!”

You turn, looking at him with bright eyes. It makes his heart melt.

“I just... how about we go for a walk today! Like, the two of us?”

Great job trying to be platonic, Kazuichi!

Of course you agree, because you would rather hang out with him than do basically anything. Extra time with him is worth it!

Once you two reach the trees, he cheerfully turns to face you. “Shall I carry your bag for you?”

Thoughtlessly, your hand goes to grip it tighter. “No, you don’t need to do that for me, I’m okay!”

“Oh please,” he teases, “I’d do anything for you!”

Your cheeks heat up, but you reluctantly pass over your bag anyways. His gaze falls onto your face, but you’re too embarrassed to look back at him.

His bumps his shoulder with yours. “You know that I am being honest, right?"

“I like you a lot, Kazuichi.”

Hm?

His brain lags and he stops walking.

“Yo-You like me? Like romantically or platonically, you know I can’t tell!”

You just smile at him, “I know I’ve been mopey all day but it’s just because I’ve been planning on telling you! Sorry if I scared you, Kaz!”

His eyes nearly forms into hearts.

He sighs in relief, “thank god because all day I’ve been worrying about how to cheer you up!”

“How about a kiss?”

Is this even real?

Is he dreaming?

He answers you, but not verbally.

Hagakure Yasuhiro

He watches you, keeping his eye on you as you doodle on the counter you work behind.

He has been stalking the aisles for at least an hour now, picking up worthless things.

Mostly snacks.

Quite the money savers.

He visits that corner store often, and will automatically leave if you aren’t sitting their behind the counter.

Though, you seem to always be.

You glance up, again, and look at him.

!!!!

He hides behind the shelves again.

“Hey,” you call out.

Oh no, he’s busted!

His heart is beating out of his chest. He can’t believe you noticed him.

But of course you noticed the man stalking around in your shop for nearly an hour.

“I’m not mad, I’m just curious.” Your voice coos out.

When he peeks over to you he sees your face, resting in the palm of your hand, and your mischievous looking eyes.

“Yeah, I’m just bad at shopping, you know?” He tries to excuse himself. While he talks, he talks steps closer to you, until you both only have a counter between you.

You watch him shift the weight between his feet, uncomfortably. You hide your laugh. “What’s your name?”

“Ehh... Yasuhiro.”

“Okay, what do you do, Yasuhiro? I see you in here a lot. Are you a construction worker? Clergyman?”

“I’m a clairvoyant.”

He seems almost embarrassed to say it.

The way you talk, the way you express yourself, is just so relaxed.

You’re intimidating to him.

Little does he know is that, internally you are a flustered mess.

You prop yourself up, eyes widen in pleasant surprise. “A clairvoyant? For real?”

Your excitement makes him feel a lot better, giving him the confidence he always lacks.

“Of course! Maybe next time I should bring my crystal ball in, eh?”

A crystal ball? He’s so cool! What if he gave you a reading?

Your cheeks heat up when you think about what your future looks like.

Would it be good? Hopefully.

He puts a hand on his chest, resting it directly onto his heart.

“Maybe I should give you a reading. The first one will be free but you’ll have to pay for the rest of them!”

You give him a small laugh. “I doubt I would need more than one, let’s see how good you are.”

As he walks home, he can’t stop thinking how excited he is. Tomorrow he’ll show you his talent! Even if it has a 30% of amazing you!

The next day he arrives, crystal ball in hand, only to find you missing behind the counter.

You tricked him, didn’t you? He should have seen it coming from the evil gaze you gave him.

He steps outside and gets distracted by someone calling his name...

And there he sees you, standing in front of the sun with a book bag around your shoulder.

“Aw, you didn’t think I’d leave, did you?”

His heart flutters, bursting alive out of his chest.

The warm colors of the sky; orange and yellow hues; highlight your figure as you walk past him. “Come on now, let’s go.”

You blow his mind! 

He doesn’t even know where you are leading him, he just follows behind you with his crystal ball tucked safely in his palms.

Eventually, he realizes, you are taking him to a nearby playground with a patch of grass and large, shady trees.

And in your book bag is a thin blanket for you both to sit on.

He sits with his legs crossed and you sit on your knees.

Excitement trickles through your bones but you try not to hide it.

You’re bad at hiding it, though, because you have a goofy smile on your face.

“Put your hands over it so it can absorb your energy.” He instructs. 

Following his orders, you begin to focus your energy into your palms, wondering if the power is even real or not.

You’d like to believe, but you’ve never seen it for yourself.

And when you feel complete, he closes his eyes, humming to himself before glancing into the ball.

Impatient, you are, and you almost jump him for the answers.

But he takes his time trying to interpret what the colors he is seeing mean.

“Ehm... so if I’m getting this straight... there are new awakenings coming to you that are very positive, indicating a new love... and or friendship... and or... I don’t know, something like that.”

His eyes glanced all over your face to see your reaction.

He is basically on a date with someone cute...

Date?

Is this a date?! He didn’t even realize! And he didn’t even wear his formal clothes!

“Oh, that’s interesting... love?” You ask, covering your mouth with your hand. “I don’t think I like that very much.”

His eyebrows furrow. “You don’t like love?”

An unease swoops in, overlaying the once bright coversation.

“I guess I don’t... I mean, I love my friends! It’s just... romance.”

He chuckles, trying to pry himself out of the situation he was forced into.

“Romance isn’t that bad! I mean, it can be cute sometimes.”

His words linger in your brain.

“Cute...”

He sits in silence, watching your eyebrows twitch and your lips part while you think.

Eventually, you just laugh into your fingers and eye him.

“I’m too afraid to fall in love.”

He responds quickly, nervous about saying things that are accidentally flirty. “Well, hopefully it’s easier this time around.”

You nod to him, smiling. “I’ll keep that in mind, Yasuhiro.”

His name flows easily from your lips, making him melt.

He sits up, fast, coming to his senses. “Right, the next reading--”

“Isn’t free, I remember that.” You wave him off.

He expected you to stand him, to thank him for the reading and be on your way.

But you stayed, looking at him with awe in your eyes.

Until your face heats and you rustle around in your bag. “I...I brought snacks, for us.”

When he doesn’t respond, you look up with soft eyes.

“For our date... okay?”

[bbq-hawks-wings]

I can't believe I didn't think the todo/endev stuff would've been divisive. Like if you don't like it then that's it, you just personally don't want to see it, that's valid, but then you have some ppl calling ppl who do like it and even hori abuse apologists (despite some of them being survivors themselves) but THen you have ppl on the other side insulting those who can't stomach it and, why is this all a thing.

CW/ abuse mention

I'm not all that surprised it stirs up such intense reactions. Unlike saving the world or becoming a hero, the struggle of a household and each of its members healing from a horribly abusive past, complete with all its uncomfortable, different, ugly blistering wounds and scars is way too close to home for a lot of people. Even for those who may have never experienced the same "severity" (in quotes because comparing trauma to silence or talk over victims of any kind is not okay - different forms of abuse is still abuse that leaves lasting impacts and effects everyone differently) they can feel personally connected to that pain.

I'm not surprised whatsoever that Endeavor is such a controversial figure. I would argue that's a good thing. If we come to love his character after lots of growth it's because he's really changed in the ways he's needed to and continuing on that road. If we can't ever get past what he did it's still justified because he's legitimately left the lives of his entire household in shambles - a home full of people who his chief responsibility was to love, provide for, and protect - who will carry the scars (some literal) of what he's done for the rest of their lives.

What surprised me most, however, is how Dabi became to be such a chief spokesperson for the entire family despite being the most removed as far as attitudes towards Endeavor and his actions in response; and how he became the only "valid" victim for so many.

I absolutely pity what he went through. He was absolutely right to feel abandoned. He was abused as much as anyone in that household. His trauma was just as real, just as impactful, and just as valid as the rest. All of his childhood trauma was a result of his father's actions of which Endeavor does need to face and account for. Even his desire to lash out at the objects of his father's affection - his mother and siblings - as a child as a way in his mind to make the pain stop and regain what he legitimately needed in his father's attention and affection is understandable given the circumstances. He's very much damaged, and the onset of that damage is not his fault. He desperately needed help he never got.

But here's where the split happens: at a point he was removed from his family and their influence and became his own person at which point he decided to step on the gas and purposely cause collateral damage on top of the self-destruction.

To be clear, simply leaving that harmful environment and growing up does not erase the damage it caused. PTSD would not be a thing of that was the case. However, Dabi is in one of two states given his behavior: he's genuinely insane (mentally ill to point he doesn't recognize what he's doing - a justified legal defense of insanity) or he's at least lucid enough to know and purposely chose to inflict harm on others because of whatever benefit he feels he gets from it (not able to plead insanity).

Either way, he's a clear danger to himself and others and needs to be reigned in. If he's not in full control of his faculties he needs professional help and has to be taken into custody for everyone's safety. If he is all there, it's right for him to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law because trauma does not excuse making more victims of any kind.

And for some reason, despite these facts well being able to coexist, the fandom doesn't seem to accept that - at least not uniformly and the disparity of opinion is night and day. We have real life examples of people who went through traumatic childhoods who became serial killers, and we don't disagree that they needed to be institutionalized or prosecuted for the safety of the public and their survivors; but Dabi gets a pass somehow?

Perhaps the main divide comes down to some can't/don't/won't make a distinction between Touya the abuse victim and Dabi the abuser. Both can and do exist in the same person, but the focus of his life's goal has shifted to be distinct enough to make that distinction as the audience. As a child, he was a victim who was doing everything he could think to do to get what he needed in a horrible situation. As an adult with ample degree of rational thought and self-awareness, he leverages his damage to justify the homicide he commits against his own victims.

And this especially is why I have pity for Touya, but not for Dabi.

I knew someone who did that - who did that to me. Someone who I considered a friend, even "family" until I set boundaries and started acting contrary to what they wanted when it was like a switch went off inside them. They had a legitimately terrible upbringing and a questionable family situation, at best; but that didn't mean I had to suffer the effects those negative influences splashed into my life.

If something I did made them upset and what they only ever knew was to verbally express, "You're lucky I have the control to hit the wall instead of you when I get this upset" that anger is valid, but I was also right to say, "If this is a problem, I'll do what I can to make it right on my end, but you do not have the right to threaten me, emotionally manipulate me, or lash out in retaliation - and especially not without consequences or pushback. You need help, and I want to help you help yourself; but that was not acceptable. I am responsible for me and what I do, not for how you take things and respond."

It boils my blood thinking back how often they tried to peddle back and make me the bad guy in my own head by trying to guilt me with their own tragic backstory so I'd stay complicit. Clearly, I'm still not completely over it, and I was unpleasantly reminded of it not long ago when nightmares with their face came back to haunt me for the first time in years after just seeing their name again in passing earlier that day. It took a complete stranger I met at a house party telling me after I spilled my guts late into the night for me to even begin to recognize that I was being manipulated and abused.

So yeah, there it is yet again - the Todofam drama is way too close to home for too many people. The worst tragedy in that, though, is that no one can apparently be validated in their opinions unless they bare themselves like I did just now. That shouldn't be the case. These discussions should be able to exist as hypotheticals and discussing canon events instead of requiring everyone who wants to weigh in to have their own trauma validated.

It's easy to pile onto Endeavor because he's the clear "bad guy" in the scenario who will never be able to erase what he's done even if all of his family magically forgave him and he turned into the patron saint of puppies and kittens. But for some reason it's not easy to recognize people can feel the same way about Dabi who can recognize him for being both victim and victimizer.

I wish it wasn't the case. There's a lot of right and wrong and stuff that isn't wrong - just uncomfortable and sucky in this subplot; but fandom is too stuck on insisting in an all or nothing bad guy/good guy to fully appreciate the nuance in this plotline.

[killer-wizard]

the system tag on this hellsite is horrible dear fucking god. can i exist with my fictive (singular) in peace please.

legit, how do they have NO empathy for mentally ill people. tearing down systems will not make the singlets like you.

it will not make the doctors kinder.

it will not make the systemic oppressions go away.

attacking mentally ill people like rabid dogs does not make anything better.

it does not make your community loving and safe, like it should be.

we are tired. we are traumatized. we shouldn't have to face this kind of treatment from our own fucking community.

\/ more under cut \/

because even if they are faking. there is still something wrong. no one wakes up and decides to do something like that for clout, unless there is something wrong.

having empathy, even for people you might consider "evil" or "bad" lets us understand others in a way i think is helpful. and i don't mean murderers.

when someone gives a long paragraph explaining multiplicity and being plural, and you respond with something snarky (ex: "oh, someone's mad i don't like their tommyinnit alter" -actual thing i have seen happen), it shows that you don't want to change. it shows that you are immature. and, there isn't anything wrong with being immature! i am very immature and that's ok :) but when you harm people, that's... not okay.

it's just like when bi people had to convince everyone they were real. and the same with pan people, and ace people, and aro people and-

exclusion does not help anyone. it only makes our community (both the plural and lgbt) more oppressive and upsetting to be in. and while i do advocate for inclusion, some people really don't need to be included. in the instance of the lgbt community, it would be MAPS (literal pedophiles) trying to act like they belong.

in the plural community, it's endogenic systems acting as though they are on the same level as traumagenic system.

endogenic systems do not have did or osdd. they can't have these disorders without trauma. did and osdd are formed by trauma, this is just how they work.

but that doesn't mean we can be rude or exclude them from the mentally ill community. they are still mentally ill. they still deserve support. and while they appropriate terms and act like they are the same as traumagenic systems, maybe they just need better terms, better coping mechanisms, support.

i am not saying actual systems need to provide that, instead that it's up to the people that are clearly in need of something- a community, a support network, therapy- to better themselves.

empathy is a powerful tool. it would benefit some of you to learn to use it.

(tl:dr guys stop being mean to everyone that doesn't act like you. endos get therapy /gen)

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 13

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Dealing with suicide attempt! heavy discripion of suicided attempt! angst, sick reader, this one is another heavy y’all, if things dealing with suicide or death bother you, you might want to skip this one, I’m sure there is some lanuage in there to.

Word Count: 1843

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

Death was easier than you imagined it would be. Nothing was there to hurt you anymore. Just inescapable blackness. 

The last thing you remembered before your eyes closed, was Jensen's face shining on your phone. 

Then it was all quite, all black..

"Y/N!! Baby come back to me please!!" 

Jensen? Why can I hear Jensen, he's not dead.

"Please... My wife... I need help.. She wont wake up..  I think she's..."

No.. No.. This can't be happening.He sounded hurt, he was crying too much, he wasn't supposed to be upset that you were gone. 

You tried to open your eyes with every fiber of strength you had left in your body, but your body won't respond. Jensen’s voice seemed to get further and further away from you as everything faded back to that inescapable blackness.

The next time you sort of became conscious  there was an excessive amount of noise. Were you in a car? There was no way to know, because you still couldn't make your eyes open. You could feel someone holding on tight to your hand, Jensen?

"Sir, we need you to calm down. You're not going to help her by going to pieces. Everything is going to be fine."

Next flash back to yourself, nothing made sense. You could hear an annoying beeping coming from somewhere you couldn't pinpoint. Warmth wrapped around your body. Someone laying next to you in a very small space. Brushing your hair with their hand. Had you died? Was all this a hallucination?

Once everything fades to black again, it seems to stay that way for a long time. You couldn't make sense of the flashes of 'reality' that seemed to flash before you. Then just as quickly get taken away. 

Or were they just a dream?

The first thing you really know is that everything hurts. Your throat feels like it was ripped to shreds.Your muscle ache as if you'd been in a fight, and even though you have slept for God knows how long you feel exhausted. 

Oh and you're still alive... That much makes sense now...

"Baby? Baby, are you going to wake up for me?"

Jensen's voice sounded really close to you.You could feel his body heat wrapped around you in the uncomfortable hospital bed, and you wanted more than anything to just melt into it and stay there. 

He kept brushing at your hair and moving you around, attempting to wake you up, so you forced your eyes to open. At first, all you could see was a blur, then everything started to come into focus. 

Looking over next to you, you find Jensen's face. He looked horrible laying in the bed next to you. His eyes were red, very red and swollen. He looked pale, his hair was a mess. There were big black circles underneath his eyes.The freckles that dusted over his skin stood out more than they normally did in the crappy hospital light. He looked like he’d been through hell.

Putting his hands on the side of your face as your eyes meet his.Tears started to streak down his face before he pulled you tight to him.

"Oh my God sweetheart, I'm so, so, sorry!!!"

You couldn't make your voice work.Your throat was too sore, so you just laid there in his arms crying with him. You couldn't believe he'd come back for you.You couldn't understand what had happened, or how you got here.

One thing stuck out to you , more than anything else at that moment. Jensen cared. He cared or he wouldn't be here with you right now, and for now that's all that matters. For now that would be enough.

You don't know how long the two of you laid there just clinging to each other. Him apologizing over and over for not coming home to you sooner, telling you how big of an idiot he was for leaving in the first place, that he loves you and only you. 

You wanted more than anything just to make all this go away. You felt so foolish for doing what you did. You felt horrible for slapping him, you felt horrible for not believing him obviously, he cared enough to stay right now, when he had every reason to walk away, he came home.

----------------------------------------

Two days later, after many test, a 48 suicide watch, and a doctor requirement to go through therapy, you where finally in the car with Jensen on the way home.

You still hadn't said much to him, just sat quietly, going through the motions. Jensen's eyes would often divert from the road to the passenger side of the car to look at you. He'd tried to start small conversations with you, you just didn't feel like talking,you were too trapped in your own thoughts.   

You were ashamed of what you had done. In hindsight you felt foolish for being so weak. You didn't understand why your mind seemed to be at war against you. You didn't understand why Jensen had left, just like you didn't understand why he even came back.

You had slapped him, he had every right to abandon you, yet here he was; constantly worrying and checking on you.

You feel his hand slip over and grab yours, pulling it tightly into his grip and bringing the back of your hand to his lips like he'd done a thousand times since you'd woken up in the hospital. 

You'd never known Jensen to be so clingy, or affectionate. Not saying you didn't like it, you just didn't know how to receive it.

Then it hit you.Your real problem sitting right there in the passenger seat of your husband's car was you didn’t know how to accept love and affection from someone. That's what your problem was, that's what was wrong. 

No matter how much you loved your mom and dad you didn't have it. 

They groomed you to be a wife and mother, but showed you very little love, just trained you. Training that in the end did you no good, because you weren't prepared for a relationship like this one. Jensen didn't hold to the rules of the church, and what they expected a marriage to be like.

Taking a deep breath, you try to hold back the dam that threatened to spill over at any given moment. 

Poor Jensen had been trying to show you he loved you for months, and you just pushed him away. You didn't trust him and you had hurt him deeply. That's why he left you that day.The problem was you didn't know how to fix it.

Jensen turned down the driveway to the house, and your heart immediately  seized up in your chest, pounding  a steady rhythm in your ears. Your breathing came as shallow breaths, anxiety thick in your chest. Like a thousand pound weight pushing down on you.

"Y/N? Baby? You okay?

You didn't realize that you were holding your breath until you heard him speak directly at you.

"I don't know.” you said in earnest, not sure how you felt about being back here.

Jensen leaned over, and pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you the best he could in the confined space of the car.

"If you don't want to stay here I can back the car down the driveway right now, and we can go stay in a hotel until we can find us a new place." he said gently, letting you bury your face into his neck. 

Clearly he already thought this might be a problem, and had already thought about getting a motel.

Pulling away from him you look back at the house. You didn't know what you wanted. You didn't know if you wanted to run away. You weren't really sure what you even wanted to run away from. In the meantime, you didn't know if you wanted to face the demon that is yourself you were sure would be standing on the other side of the door, waiting for you. 

Licking your lips, and pulling your lower lip into your teeth, a nervous habit you'd picked up from Jensen over the last three months, you sat there staring at the front door like at any moment a monster would come out and drag you to hell where you really felt like you deserved to be.

Jensen's grip tightened on your hand again, drawing your attention to him. He was staring at you, trying to read what was going on inside your head, wanting more than anything to make the best decision for you.

Shaking your head, you push your fears down in your gut. This was foolish, and you couldn't let fear of the mental illness you just learned that you evidently had, according to doctors anyway, rule you. You had to get past this, for Jensen's sake. You hated the way he looked at you right now, like you were so fragile. 

"No... There's no need to go and buy a whole new house. I'm sure I'll be just fine."

Jensen leaned over, and placed a soft kiss on your forehead before leaning his own against yours. 

"If you change your mind at any moment, even if it's in the middle of the night, we're out of here okay? I'm not going to make you stay here. I'd never do that. We can always find somewhere else to live." 

You nodded your head, but said nothing, thankful for the out if you needed it. Once again, Jensen provides the security blanket you needed.

Getting out of the car before your emotions can get the best of you, you start walking up the driveway. Jensen was quick to catch up with you, putting his hand in yours as he unlocks the door. 

You stood there in silence, and stilled your nerves as he opened the door, walking in behind him. He stopped and watched every move you made, ready to rip you away from here if you couldn't handle it. 

Everything that you had left had been properly cleaned and put away. There were no dishes.Everything seemed to be in order. 

"I hired someone to come and clean up everything while you were in the hospital. I didn't want you to come back to all that." he said, as if reading your mind. You just nod and half try to smile at him. 

He wrapped his arms around you, and pulled you tightly to him. You didn't know how all this was going to work. Your trust was broken, not in Jensen anymore. You felt really stupid for ever believing he would cheat on you in the first place. It was yourself you didn't trust anymore. You felt like you were at war with your own mind and insecurities. 

This wasn't going to be easy, and you hoped more than anything you could come back from this, and be stronger for it.

I mean, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...Right?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​

[bisluthq]

Do you know the details of Karlie and Taylor’s falling out? No you don’t.// Do you have details about Austin's life? do you have details about the folklore Grammy? do you have details about Taylor using drugs ? do you have details about the sex life of each person you talk? NO, but does it ever stop you? and we have confirmation from two close friends and we have the behavior public of the profiteer so yeah, she and Joe are not in this together, take the pills.

I mean this makes no sense as an ask. I had to read it like five times and that’s the only reason I’m responding because I’ve now invested time in it so I guess well done for being so utterly clumsy in your writing and so fucking weird that I feel morally obligated to write you a response since I’ve now… spent like time on this.

We do gossip about Karlie and Taylor falling out like all the time because we have the broad strokes of what happened - they fell out and then fell out again for good because Karlie blabbed to Scooter. We discussed this. We do have details on Austin’s life, because he is a real person who exists in the world and people talk and I happen to know for a fact he annoyed people in professional settings. Maybe he’s better now, maybe that’s why he pivoted BTS, maybe his girlfriend made him better. We know he’s in a cute relationship. We also suspect Taylor did drugs, who knows. We speculate about sex lives.

We also speculate on the falling out so what the fuck are you talking about?

Like all. The. Time.

The only thing I say is “let’s not FEEL THIS SHIT PERSONALLY and get ACTUALLY ANGRY about A FRIENDSHIP OF SOMEONE ELSE’S ENDING.” I don’t say we can’t discuss it. I say it’s unhealthy to get mad, because it is.

It’s unhealthy to write this rant and call some random bitch “the profiteer” lmao WHILE STANNING TAYLOR SWIFT A KAPITALIST QUEEN LIKE DUDE. You NEVER HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND WHEN IT COMES TO CELEBS MAKING MONEY. My girl is ON TIKTOK prepping for RED TV like and my only response is “you go girl” because truly good for her.

Then we get the part that’s fully wild to me. “Take the pills” is either you fucking mental health shaming me which is… wow so awesome of you well done you’re such a good person not like that bitch Karlie hey like you’re a true champion of the masses for calling a mentally ill person mentally ill just because they said two hot ladies fell out and we’ll never know the WHOLE story or a Red Pill thing which is… wow wow wow.

Like dude.

You need to fucking go outside and if I get an unhinged rant from you again just listing topics we gossip about and NEVER CLAIM ARE FACT and DO NOT GET UPSET ABOUT BECAUSE IT IS JUST FUN GOSSIP and then you end it off by telling me to take my pills I’m gonna have to block your dumb, bigoted ass. And if you think Taylor Swift, someone who has been OPEN about struggling with mood and stuff, would be proud of you for telling a mentally ill person they’re mentally ill I think you are not just an asshole but fucking delusional.

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Show Must Go On! Chapter 4

- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 4 “Shifting Sand Land” out now!

AO3 Link

Illumi had always feared that one day he might inherit any of his mother's illnesses. It wasn't out of the question, and he considered himself lucky that no ailment had reared its head so far into his life.

"Do I look as good as how I feel, darling?"

Until now.

Suddenly it felt like years of sickness had caught up with him, spun his head around and made his stomach curl.

It was a coincidence that this sickness would appear the second he laid eyes on Hisoka, wearing the suit that was fitted just for him.

It was a coincidence that he looked like all those marble statues in museums, sculpted in the image of gods and lovers.

It was a coincidence that this sickness could be swallowed and repressed like any measly feeling he had ever encountered.

"I told you to wear a shirt, maggot."

And the symptoms disappeared.

But the disease didn't.

 ----------------------------------------------------

Gon: Killua?

It had been quite a while since Killua had responded to any of Gons messages. Well, it had been about 2 hours. But compared to their normal pace of slinging messages at each other any passing minute, this felt like an eternity to the young boy.  He wondered if he had done anything to upset his friend, though their last conversation was just usual banter about breakfast, snacks, and the new battle pass.

He fidgeted in his seat a bit more, the classwork Aunt Mito had supplied him with almost entirely forgotten. The now broken routine made his bones itch, but the attempt of any distraction just made him fear he'd miss when Killua would finally come back.

So, he waited.

He even started half-heartedly filling out the math quiz that had been taunting him from the corner of the desk, though he always glanced back at the computer screen.

Question number 27: (X-3)²-25= 0

Ping

Gon wasn't sure what to do first; Be thankful that finally Killua replied or be thankful that he found an escape from this hell called math.

Kil: Yo.

GON: Hey!!! Are you okay? :O

Kil: Yeah, whats up?

He was obviously not okay. But Gon knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t make things better, though if he pretended like everything was alright would just be an issue bottled up.

GON: Do you wanna play some Fortnite Duos maybe? We can try grinding for the new tiger costume you like :D

Kil: cant

Kil: my mom took my fucking PC away in attempt to become mother of the year

GON: :( im sorry!! But im sure she’ll give it back soon, right?

Kil: fat chance, I probably have to wait till my brother comes back from his stupid trip

Gon tilted his head in thought. This has probably been the longest Killua had ever talked about his family with him. Up to this point it had only been passing remarks about siblings whose actions and personalities melted into each other due to lack of discernible unique traits, and that his family was rich.

GON: How long is that going to be?

GON: Maybe your mom will calm down and change her mind <:(

Kil: lmao, maybe if id actually study now shed be satisfied enough

Kil: but theres no way in hell im going to give her what she wants

Kil: ESPECIALLY NOW

GON: So whatre you going to do??

Kil: idk

Kil: talk to you and think about how to set fire to this place?

 The young boy smiled, though for some reason he could feel a knot tighten in his chest.

 GON: How about only talking to me for now?

 And they talked. For a couple of hours, they talked about Gons new streaming schedule, about how he wanted to have one dedicated day in the week solely for collaborations. They talked about a new exploit for Super Mario Sunshine that could potentially scrap 10 seconds off of the current World record if executed correctly. They talked about how Leorios medical-student VLOG channel had been trending again after he made a hypocritical video about the damages of energy drinks.

Kil: he could have at least cleaned the infamous pyramid out of frame…

GON: Haha he said that in hindsight too

GON: But I think it was his boyfriend who finally made him clean it up -v-“

Kil: must be nice to have someone living with you who gives a shit

Kil: I think at this point the housekeeper hasn’t even touched the minefield that’s my brothers room in months

GON: It can’t be that bad :”D

Kil: you bet?

Kil: what do you think, how much chip dust is needed for an anime figure to come to life?

The mental image of Killuas home slowly shifted in Gons mind again. A large mansion, bedrooms as big as some apartments, with individual housekeepers for everyone. And one room dedicated to imitating a postapocalyptic anime merch shop.

And somewhere in that large mansion, is a room probably equipped with a messy bed, a (now empty) desk and gaming chair, maybe some shelves with books and games. In the middle of it a slightly blurry figure, maybe a bit shorter than Gon, pale skin and messy hair and piercing bright eyes.

He had seen pictures of Killua, a handful of selfies taken at his desk, one picture his sister (who he’d mention the least from his mysterious family) had taken of him in front of a rose bush. And no matter how dimly lit the picture would be, or out of focus, or taken from a distance; His eyes were always the first thing Gon would focus on. At first, he was convinced that he was using a filter, there’s no way someone in real life would have eyes like that.

But Killua did. Killua hid electricity behind those eyes, dangerous and yet enticing, beaming with a life energy that can barely be contained. Gon had heard poems and songs about blue eyes, though none of them ever came close to describing eyes like these. Or the feeling Gon would get from looking at them, tingling in his fingertips, making him smile and giggle and stomp his feet. Kind of like getting a victory royale.

Gon has other friends besides Killua. But none ever made him feel the same way when they talked. He craved no one’s presence as much as he craved Killuas. And something inside him felt the constant urge to tell Killua that, to tell him how much he meant to him, what’s so amazing about him, how he didn’t want this friendship to end.

But that’s just not something friends would tell each other unprompted, and it’s not something that could easily told to Killua, who danced around the word “friends” as if it were a dangerous animal. So, he didn’t say anything.

 Kil: gon?

Kil: did you fall asleep?

GON: No haha, I was just thinking about how huge your house must be!!

Kil: yeah its huge and ugly, sometimes way too loud, sometimes really fucking quiet

Kil: im sure it must be nicer in your home

GON: I mean, it is pretty nice, but its also a little lonely I think

GON: All my friends live closer to the city, so usually no one is around to just come outside and hang out :^T

Kil: if I could id fly over right now and you could show me all the gross spiders that rule your continent with 8 iron fists

GON: They aren’t gross!! Spiders are really fun once you get to know them :^D

GON: And you know, you’d always be welcome here, Aunt Mito would be thrilled to meet you ^^

And Gon meant it. Though Killua never let too much slip of his family life and surroundings, Gon could tell it was trouble, and he deeply wished he could give Killua even just a one-day break from whatever went down in that mansion.

Kil: since we are both home schooled, we wouldnt even need to wait for summer break or anything

GON: Right :^D And its not like either of us are big on studying either ^^”

Gon glanced briefly at the disregarded Math work and shuddered.

Kil: you mean it, right?

Kil: if I were to text you some time that im at an airport and im coming over, you wouldnt let me be stranded somewhere on your prison continent, right?

GON: Of course not!!!

GON: … but I’d prefer it if you give a heads up so I can clean my room :^D

Kil: thanks gon, I appreciate it

Kil: i appreciate you

Gon felt his heartrate skyrocket. Of course he’d let Killua stay, even if he rang at his door without any prior notice. Because even if it goes unsaid, Killua was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. And he’d do anything to keep him safe, or to just give him one minute that he doesn’t have to think about his family. He wanted to see those blue eyes reflect the Australian sun, free of worry and tension.

GON: I appreciate you, too

[carewyncromwell]

I don't know if you want to talk about this (and feel free to ignore this if you don't want to answer), but I wanted to ask which side of the Ethren mess you're on? I know in the beginning you were on his side, but I've seen so much hate and so many accusations and I don't know what to believe anymore, and I trust your judgement

I have to be honest -- when I first saw that a blog had been created with the specific purpose of “calling out” someone in the HPHM fandom...I blocked it.

I come to this fandom largely to escape from the real world. It’s been one of the few remaining sanctuaries I’ve had during this quarantine and from my own mental health problems. I’ve made a lot of friends in this community, and I feel very strongly about putting out more positive content than negative, as well as trying to digest more positive than negative. I don’t like the thought of a stranger posting stuff online about someone else who -- let’s be honest -- nobody truly knows unless they actually physically know them IRL. Unless one wants to go down an entire rabbit hole of getting to know a person uncomfortably well, there’s not much anyone can do to prove what’s true. And I know it sounds really immature and selfish of me, but...I was never that interested in learning much about this fandom’s members’ personal lives, excluding what the friends I’ve made have been willing to confide in me on a case by case basis. I have plenty of my own drama happening over here on my side, and I just want to have fun roleplaying with people’s characters and making content for both mine and theirs. It’s been one of the few things that helped me fight back my untreated and severe chronic depression after being furloughed from my job thanks to the COVID-19 shutdown. My job had been my escape, and without it, I was drowning -- one of my only life preservers was making content for this blog. So for my own mental health, I shut out the negativity, because I wasn’t emotionally or mentally able to deal with it. And admittedly, it felt to me as though this sort of thing really shouldn’t be handled online when -- again -- this sort of thing seems like it’d be better handled in the real world and the legal system, rather than in the court of mostly anonymous public opinion. And it also feels kind of nasty to reblog content from people online who simply liked the character Ethren Whitecross and made fan content for him, just to harangue them for it. It’s like attacking all Harry Potter fans for being transphobic just because they enjoyed something created by a trans-exclusionary radical feminist -- particularly when in the case of Ethren, the vast majority of us don’t know Ren personally. One could’ve related to Ethren’s story without knowing anything about his creator, and people did, often not because of any kind of malevolent reasons.

After receiving this message, though, I unblocked the blog in question and read some more of their posts. When I’d first blocked it, the only post of theirs I saw in the HPHM tag came across as rather hostile, and combined with Ren’s blog saying that an ex was stalking him, I don’t think it’s unsurprising that some people were initially warded off by it. But reading some of the other stuff written on that blog since...I must acknowledge there’s a lot of troubling stuff there. It made me very upset, and made me kind of regret that I’d initially jumped into making a stance without hearing both sides. But at the same time, considering that someone from outside the fandom had arrived specifically to target someone in the fandom, supposedly on behalf of someone else who also had no ties to the fandom, it looked a lot like cyberbullying to me at the time. Now it’s very clear there’s more to the story, and for that initial leap to judgment, I am sorry. I wasn’t in a place where I understood fully what the discussion was about before I took a side, and that’s something I should know better than to do.

But I think this comes down to, in the end, my answer to your question, regarding sides.

I don’t want to take a side -- because I didn’t come to the HPHM fandom to fight people. I came here to be happy.

I know someone could read this as cowardly and ignorant, but please, understand that I thought long and hard about this. This place has been a safe space for me, and I understand it has been for others as well -- a place where we can go to enjoy art and fanfiction for something we enjoy and roleplay as new, interesting characters with other people who have similar interests and creative leanings. I thoroughly understand that it can’t truly be a safe space if we allow people who would threaten other people’s safety into it, and I also thoroughly understand that people can include problematic aspects of themselves into their characters along with good things (just look at how J.K.’s apparent subliminal views on the LGBT+ community influenced how she’s handled Dumbledore). Both things are definitely things to be aware of, and it’ll be an ongoing struggle to try to propagate a truly welcoming and positive, and yet safe and supportive community. There will always be shadows and dark spots that aren’t easy to see, just like with all fandoms, and it’s good to now and again take the time to examine them.

But to quote a line from one of my favorite songs, “it’s hard to light a candle, easy to curse the dark instead.”  I cannot log onto my computer and into this fandom every day and think about openly attacking someone else, regardless of whether they deserve it or not. This feels like something that the victim should handle herself in the real world, and I truly hope that she finds peace in whatever path she takes. But that is her story to tell, to write, and to play out -- it’s not mine. Mine is a story I have written and am still writing, where I’ve tried to find a way to be happy and be a good person despite everything in my life that has made that so difficult. And so I truly feel the only way I can approach this situation is to not let the things that hurt and drain me have power over my life, and put my energy toward things that build me up instead. I try not to visit tags or places online that could be triggering, and simply enjoy the things I do like. I’ve stopped spending money on things Harry Potter-related because of Jo’s stance on transgender rights, but still engage in the HP fandom and celebrate what is good in the original material and especially what its fandom has made out of it. In this case, I will simply do the same, particularly since from the look of things, Ren’s blog is no longer around for anyone to interact with anyway, positively or not. I’ll engage with blogs whose work I can still enjoy and give me some light when I most need it, and try my best to keep creating more light of my own for others. I will light candles, and little by little, I’d like to think the room will be bright enough that the dark will be significantly smaller and less scary than it was.

I understand if any of you disagree with or are angry about anything I’ve said. I know “playing both sides” is not a great thing to do, and I truly don’t mean to. But I’m afraid I do have to take my own side here, for my own mental and emotional well-being. I responded to this Ask because I felt like saying nothing would’ve truly been the cowardly thing to do, by pretending the issue isn’t there at all. I’m not pretending it isn’t there -- but I do think it’s a battle I’m ill-equipped to engage in, not because of my personal morals, but because I don’t feel emotionally able to play the role of judge, jury, and executioner in this court of public opinion.

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary - Chapter 6

Rating: Mature for this chapter, but Explicit in future chapters

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary: A mysterious device throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. Pentagram City’s residents are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Warnings: Manipulation, Language, Awkward Situations

Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 @shadowclawstudio88 @utterly-disappointing @opheliuva @trinswhimsys @skylarhedges @whogavebrynjolfpermissiontobehot @sailor-earth-1

After your tiff with Alastor, you stomped off to seek the solitude of your own room. Dealing with him was infuriating and confusing. He had a way about him where even though you couldn’t stand him, you sometimes found yourself craving his company.

Maybe you were a masochist. That would make the most sense for why you were so fucked up and had weird, conflicting feelings about the arrogant demon.

The next day when you returned to the library, you were not at all surprised to see Alastor there waiting for you. Before you could even negatively comment on his presence, he held his hands up in surrender. “My dear, I owe you the sincerest of apologies. My behavior has been abysmal, and I am quite ashamed.”

You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of his sudden change of heart. His grin widened at your hesitance. “I’ll admit, I’ve gotten carried away during our prior interactions. Let me assure you, I only have the best of intentions. I would like us to be comrades. After all, as previously established, we can help each other. I am still dedicated to helping you return to your world.”

“Whatever, Alastor,” you brushed him off, pinching the bridge of your nose, your patience lacking. “I really don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. Just… keep your pervy hands and weird opinions to yourself. That’s all I ask.”

His lips peeled back further to make his already creepy grin look even more sinister. “Of course, my dear. As you wish.”

You weren’t stupid. You’d be a fool to think that he was being genuine, but at the same time, he was one of the most powerful beings in Hell. As you had already concluded, it couldn’t hurt to let someone like that help you, even if he had selfish intentions. It was just a matter of not falling victim to his advances.

Yet again, the two of you hit the books, making yourselves comfortable on the couch. Much to your relief, he stayed on the opposite end rather than crowd you with his overbearing presence. Instead, he kept to himself, humming softly as he skimmed through the pages of the books, seemingly content with the tedious task of research.

After intricately combing through five different books on magical travel, your eyelids started to get heavier, no longer able to concentrate. Not long after, you found yourself dozing off, your limbs going slack as you unintentionally slid down on the couch until you were met with a cushioned surface, enabling you to soundly fall asleep.

It wasn’t clear how much time had passed. It could have been merely a few minutes, or several hours. Either way, you were extremely comfortable and didn’t feel like moving.

Unfortunately, a voice nearby caused you to stir, interrupting your glorious nap. “Al, you soft son of a bitch.”

“Good evening, Husker. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Alastor’s voice sounded odd. Deeper and strangely close by, whereas Husk was clearly speaking from another part of the room. Still, even knowing that others were present, you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes, the allure of sleep keeping you content.

“How long you been sitting here like this?” the cat demon snickered.

“Oh, it’s difficult to say,” Alastor sighed candidly. “To be frank, my friend, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation.”

Husk’s deep laughter echoed softly throughout the library. “So your aggressive approach didn’t pan out, huh? What a surprise. Always knew your bark was worse than your bite. Now you’re just a teddy bear.”

“Is there a reason for your visit? If so, I do wish that you’d just get on with it. I do not enjoy being mocked.”

“Settle down,” Husk prompted. “I’m not here to ruffle your feathers. I was coming to relieve you and help out the girl with research, but seeing as you’re so comfortable, I guess I’ll just be on my way.”

“Do not leave me here,” the Radio Demon warned, the static in his voice thickening with subtle rage. “Do something. Now.”

“You’ve slayed Overlords. You can’t manage to push a weak human off of your shoulder?”

“Husker.”

“Alright, alright,” he relented, sensing Alastor’s tone. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

A firm pressure on your shoulder followed by an abrupt shake quickly alerted you to the situation that you were in. Eyes fluttering open, you tilted your head back to see that you had been pressed up against Alastor, using his body as a pillow.

You immediately shot up, giving yourself a head-rush as you did so. “Oh… Uh, Alastor, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”

At a loss for words, you felt your cheeks reddening with embarrassment as you glanced at Husk who had an amused expression on his face.

Quickly rising from the couch and stretching his limbs, Alastor brushed off your apology. “Think nothing of it, my dear. I am glad to be of assistance, and I hope that you are now fully rested.”

Okay, what the hell? Who was this new Alastor? He went from being perverted and possessive to kind and charming? No, something was off. There was no way that his personality could have changed so dramatically overnight, but now was not the time to interrogate him about it.

“Yeah, uh, much better. Thanks. I’m… going to go take a shower,” you muttered, trying to find any reason to leave the library immediately.

Before either Alastor or Husk had a chance to respond, you practically sprinted out the door and ran for your room where you plopped face-down on the bed and released a muffled groan. You were slightly convinced that you were dying of embarrassment and that was the real reason you were trapped in Hell.

Sighing heavily, you eventually got up and took a cold shower, washing away the essence of Alastor that might have clung to you when you laid on him. Shortly after, you dried off and walked back to your room, shocked to find Charlie and Vaggie waiting for you with concerned expressions.

“Um, hey?” you greeted nervously. “What’s up?”

Vaggie narrowed her eyes and scoffed while Charlie took a more delicate approach. “So, listen… we’re so glad to hear that you’re becoming more and more comfortable here, but…” she trailed off, not sure how to proceed and turning to her girlfriend for help.

Crossing her arms, Vaggie stated bluntly, “Don’t hook up with Alastor.”

Mouth agape, you struggled to find the words to convey your bewilderment. “Um, I’m sorry, what ? Why the hell would you say that? I have no intention of spending more time with him than necessary, let alone that .”

Rolling her eyes, Vaggie countered, “Look, it’s no secret that he’s taken a liking to you. He’s a determined little shit and he will try to charm his way into your good graces. His whole persona is based on his ability to manipulate. It’s just better to not get involved with him. If I had it my way, he wouldn’t even be allowed in the hotel, but what’s done is done.”

“Okay? What exactly does that have to do with me hooking up with him? You don’t think I have more restraint than that?” you questioned, still unsure as to why they were upset.

Charlie interjected again, easing the tension. “We’ve seen you with him and things seem to be getting very… friendly. Husk told us you slept with him…” Ugh, it was like Angel’s prior accusations all over again.

“ On him,” you clarified defensively. “We were doing more research and I passed out on his shoulder! That’s it! Listen, I don’t trust him any more than you do. You don’t need to lecture me about staying on guard. That’s all I’ve been doing since I arrived here.”

Charlie bit her lip and gave you an apologetic look while Vaggie’s expression softened a little. “We didn’t mean to ambush you,” Charlie added. “We just wanted to make sure that you were okay and that he wasn’t forcing you into anything. We’re still getting to know him ourselves.”

“No, it’s fine,” you replied, waving your hand dismissively. “I get it, and I appreciate it. I didn’t mean to come off as bitchy, I’m just… stressed, I guess.”

“Understandable,” Vaggie chimed in, no longer appearing as hostile as she did a minute ago. “We’re still looking for answers on how to get you back to your world, and I can only imagine how terrifying and crazy this has been for you, but we want to make sure that your head is in the right place. Stay away from Alastor.”

“You called, little moth?”

Turning towards the entryway, Alastor stood proudly, twirling his staff nonchalantly in his hands.

Growling, Vaggie snarled, “Do you really have to be here all the time? Don’t you have somewhere else to be? A seedy back alley, perhaps? Busying yourself with souls to torment?”

“Ha!” he exclaimed, amused by Vaggie’s unwavering disdain for him. “Darling girl, this is where my priorities lie for the time being. Fear not, I have no intention of interjecting into what I’m sure is a very fascinating conversation.”

“Then why are you here?” she snapped, flexing her fingers angrily like she was trying to hold back from choking him.

Widening his permanent grin, he turned his attention to Charlie before replying cooly, “It appears you have a visitor.”

“Me?” Charlie asked, perplexed.

“Yes, my dear,” he confirmed, resting on his staff that he had stopped fiddling with. “Your guest is waiting for you in the parlor.”

The three of you began to head towards the door to see who had arrived, but Alastor whipped his staff out in front of you, preventing you from going any further.

“No, no, no, darling. Not you.” Charlie and Vaggie didn’t seem to notice as they continued out of the room, leaving you alone with the Radio Demon.

Eyeing him skeptically, you asked, “Why not?”

He almost looked… nervous? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was an uncharacteristic look for him. Though his smile remained, his demeanor wasn’t his usual arrogant and unbothered self. “Believe me when I say that it is in your best interest to remain here.”

Worrying your lip, you replied, “Alastor, I really don’t think that it’s a good idea for you and I to be alone together anymore.”

Tiling his head to convey his confusion, he asked, “Oh? And why is that?”

Swallowing thickly, you muttered, “I-I just… um… people are starting to think--”

Before you could finish your thought, an unfamiliar voice was drawing nearer, distracting you.

“...permission to enter my own hotel? Foolish daughter. You may work here, but this hotel is mine, as is everything else in Pride Ring. Now, where is our exotic guest?”

Though he was playing it off well, you noticed how Alastor went rigid as the voice got closer. Listening more intently, you could hear multiple sets of footsteps along with Charlie begging, “No! Dad, please just listen to me! Don’t--”

Not a moment later, a strange, yellow-eyed demon burst through the door, beaming right at you, followed by a very nervous Charlie. Vaggie was nowhere to be seen.

The excited demon was taller than you, though not as tall as Alastor. He was as pale as Charlie with similar rosey cheeks and blonde hair. He was adorned with a white and red tuxedo with dress pants and a cane with an apple on the end. His toothy smile was just as wicked as Alastor’s, and left you with a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Ah, there you are. Look at you!” he proclaimed before surging forward and taking your hands in his, pulling you harshly towards him.

You stumbled forward, tripping on your own feet but managing to find your balance before he danced around you, inspecting you closely. Quirking a brow at him, you weren’t keen on the idea of someone looking you over so intimately.

Catching you off-guard, he suddenly reached forward and cupped your face with his hands as he ran his thumbs across your cheeks. Instinctually, you smacked his hands away, just as you had done previously with Alastor. “Seriously? What is it with you demons and lack of personal space?” you snapped, now seething with irritation.

He stood back, clearly surprised by your tenaciousness. “Feisty, aren’t we?” he chuckled, fiddling with his bow tie before straightening his posture. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine. I can see that.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied with exasperation. “Who are you?”

Smiling wider, he answered, “I’m Lucifer, the King of Hell, my delectable little human. And you’re coming with me.”