#James Rhodes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dameronspector · 3 days ago

Text

Philophobia

(PART 1)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Summary: Devastated by your father’s death and cutting yourself off from everyone, you are on the road of recovery, accompanied by your uncle Rhodey. After Rhodey has finally convinced you, you agree to reunite with Sam Wilson and help him with his tech. He introduces you to another techie nerd, named Joaquin Torres, for the first time. Will you let your phobia get in the way and push away your new found family and this beautiful boy? Or will you get better and let yourself be loved once again?

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression/Depressive episodes, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Abuse by a parent (not Tony), Weight loss due to stress, Nightmares, Some cursing, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Steve Rogers Slander- please don’t read this if that’s not something you’re looking for, Reader is sassy and a bit reserved because of The incident and because they’re a Stark, Reader has some phobias, Found family, also there’s a few references and hidden plots in this. 😁 (please keep in mind that I wrote this from my point of view as a south asian.)

Author’s note: I probably went overboard and this is very long + very self indulgent….but tony stark is the father who raised me and joaquin torres is my boyfriend so i Had to do this. ☺️ also lots of found family content with Rhodey, Sam and Bucky. Set around the time of TFATWS when redwing is broken by Karli. Idk if that makes sense but pls go with the flow, hehe. Please let me know if there’s any changes to be made if I have written anything wrong.

Moving back to New York was extremely hard and painful for you ever since your dad passed away. That was the city that you were born and raised in and it had the ghosts of your father’s and family’s moments everywhere. But you told Pepper that you couldn’t handle living in that cabin anymore because 1. you were going stir crazy since you loved the hustle bustle of a city and 2. the depressive episodes were more frequent than ever.

You’d think living in your family cabin that has your father’s memories written across every wall would help you…but you’re a Stark. Ignoring your own problems and running away from emotions is kind of your specialty. Hereditary, even.

Pepper, bless her heart, told you that she’s happy you are trying to get back your life back on track and that she would always be there for you. Even if you called her Pepper, she’s always been your Mother.

Hardest part of it all was saying goodbye to Morgan. Little Morgan who was so attached to you and vice versa. She was too young to even process her father’s death, how was she supposed to understand why her elder sibling was never leaving their room? And now that same sibling was going too far away from their house. It took Pepper, Happy and you to console Morgan and she was finally ready to send you off–only with a (pinky) promise of visiting her during holidays.

Rhodey and Happy helped you settle in your newest house- a penthouse in manhattan that your dad left behind for you. That was 3 months ago. Now, fully settled in your new space, you’ve decided to restart college to finish your degree that was put on pause because of a giant purple psycho. You had decided you will stop the whole Avenger shit the moment you lost your dad. You needed to leave that life behind in order to move on, and what better than being filthy educated and eventually finding a normal job?

Well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned.

I mean, really, were you expecting to just magically heal from the most traumatic time of your life in three months, with no therapy or contact from your family and friends?

Panic attacks are like your best friends. The other day you had a panic attack because you found a scarf that was gifted to you by your dad. Embarrassing, really.

Nightmares are something you have been walking hand-in-hand with since your dad was kidnapped and you were just a little kid. But now, every night you close your eyes and you see your father’s lifeless eyes staring back into yours.So it’s not surprising that you have become insomniac as well.

Overall, you were continuing the Stark legacy of being severely mentally ill but not doing anything to help it or accepting any help. The only difference was that you chose NOT to drink until you blacked out because after watching your dad do that as a kid, you developed a strong distaste for any type of alcohol. It was so bad, that you got diagnosed with dispophobia– a persistent fear of drinking alcohol. It’s real, look it up.

You chose the other option—pushing everyone around you away until you wallowed in your misery, loneliness and sorrows.

This behaviour of yours was constantly stressing Pepper, Rhodey and Happy out. All three of them did their best to help you and make you socialise, but everytime they approached, you either ignored their calls and messages or told them you were busy (by busy you meant that you were tinkering on your father’s old suits that you moved to your apartment, but you didn’t tell them that.)

Even FRIDAY tried giving them updates on your well-being but you had threatened the AI to not “leak” any of your “information”. This was giving the three of them a major déjà vu. Eventually, they had enough and Rhodey came to your house one day because he knew he’s the only one who can call out your shit. He kinda had a Phd in tackling the Stark family’s issues.

“Look kid, it’s been 3 months. You haven’t bothered to call or text any of us. We didn’t even know if you were alive since you have banned FRIDAY from reporting anything to us as well. Can you please spend one evening with us for a dinner? Hell, if not all of us,then atleast meet up with Morgan?”, Rhodey said firmly with his eyebrows furrowed and arms folded tightly around his chest, leaning on your kitchen island.

You were making your dinner when he decided to come over. Trying your best to be nonchalant, you kept stirring the soup with your back to him, and scoffed, “You sound exactly like dad sometimes.”

Rhodey closed his eyes in frustration. “That’s not important right now. You’re doing the same thing that Tony did when he was feeling all these… emotions. Please, stop this kiddo. You’ve got all of us. Always. Just reach out once and we’ll be there to catch you”, he replied in a soft tone.

You took a deep breath and he saw your shoulders go up and down. You stopped stirring the soup, turned the gas off and turned around to face him.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, making yourself smaller, and intently focused on your shoes to avoid meeting his eyes.

“There’s nothing to ask. I’ve already told you I will be starting college soon. I’ll keep myself productive and occupied. It’ll be alright, don’t worry about me”, you say, your voice scratchy after not using it for a long time.

Rhodey observed you with his sharp gaze. You knew you were screwed the moment you saw Rhodey at the door because he could read you like a book. Honestly, it was extremely intimidating but you will never admit that to his face. He’s been around for your whole life- right from your birth. He knew you like you were his own child.

“FRIDAY, activate babysitter protocol”, he said, his voice stern.

You snapped your gaze up from your shoes to stare at him in confusion.

“On it Mr. Rhodes”, FRIDAY replied.

“What the hell is this?”, you replied narrowing your eyes at him.

“I know you blocked FRIDAY from telling us anything about you. Did you know Tony had an emergency protocol built in so that if there’s anything that went wrong while you were alone, FRIDAY would update him?”, Rhodey replied nonchalantly.

You widened your eyes and immediately teared up on hearing how protective your dad was over you. You were too tired to fight back so you just shut your eyes and wrapped your arms around your body tighter.

“FRIDAY, give me a proper run down of the kid’s activities and schedule in this past month. Including their health”, Rhodey asked the AI while observing you closely.

“OK sir. In this month, they have stepped out of the house only once for buying groceries. The rest of the month they’ve been at home, fixing Mr Stark’s suits”, FRIDAY finished.

At this, Rhodey’s eyes widened. “Tony’s suits? How did you even get these suits?” “They sneaked in the suits 2 months ago, Sir”, Rhodey’s eyes snapped back to yours. 2 months ago- right after you moved in. The suits were at the new compound and they were heavily guarded.

They should’ve known better because did they really expect you, a genius like your father, to not figure out how to hack the systems? It was a cakewalk for you.

You scrunched your eyes in shame and bowed your head. “Kid….”, he sighed.

“Tell me about their health, FRI”, Rhodey asked in a pained voice.

“They’ve had panic attacks almost every week. I suggested taking medication or visiting the therapist, but my requests were ignored. I’ve also observed a spike in their heartbeat everytime a loud noise is heard. They have nightmares regularly due to which they have stopped sleeping altogether. All the stress has made them lose weight, their appetite has lessened and has made them more irritable and unpredictable”, FRIDAY finished (snitched, you think).

Hearing it from someone else made it sound so much worse. You couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face.

You were too busy keeping the sobs from coming out of your mouth to notice Rhodey coming closer and wrapping his arms around you. He brought you closer and hugged you tightly and that completely broke you.

You leaned your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso and just sobbed. Rhodey hushed you gently and rubbed your back softly with one of his hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t deal with this, Uncle. Please. I need him back”, you said in between sobs while clutching him tightly and pressing your face into his chest. Rhodey teared up at this and put one of his hands behind your head.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it out. I’m so sorry I didn’t visit you sooner. I know what you’re feeling. But I’ve got you now. Please allow me to help you?”, he said weakly.

You let out a shuddering breath and tried to calm yourself down. “Okay. ”, you replied in a weak voice. Rhodey broke the hug before putting his hands on your shoulders and let you wipe your tears. He caressed your head and told you, “We’re gonna get you something to eat first. From tomorrow, we will work on your routine and talk to your therapist about your insomnia and panic attacks. And then, you will be taking lots of rest. No more tinkering on the suits endlessly or skipping meals. We will go on walks and you will have a dinner with us at the cabin soon. That okay?”, he asked gently. You looked up at him and nodded your head yes. “Good. Now, you sit your ass down and Rest. Let me prepare your dinner”, he says while moving around you to get to the stove. “Do you even know how to turn on the stove?”, you say in a stuffy voice while wiping your nose with your sleeve and side eyeing him. He abruptly pauses and turns around. “You’re such a little shit, you know that?”, he says sassily while pointing a finger at you. That brings out a genuine smile from you and you just chuckle before he starts laughing as well. Your smile fades slowly. “Thank you. This means a lot to me,” you reply softly. Both of your eyes start tearing up and he just nods his head before giving you a side hug. “Anything for my favourite Stark”, he says in a shaky voice.

2 Months Later

You and Rhodey fell into a rhythm after that night. He stayed with you for some days and got you checked with your therapist and helped you around the house. He took you out for jogs every morning, made you work out and exercise every day. This made you feel productive and gave you a routine to follow. It also improved your appetite and you started to genuinely enjoy making healthy and filling meals.

You stopped unnecessarily tinkering on the suits and the medicines prescribed by your doctor helped you sleep better. You still had a long way to go but you had finally started stepping out of the house and went to a dinner at the cabin. Happy, Pepper and Morgan were so delighted to see you and they told you how proud they are of you. You just gave all the credit to your uncle Rhodey.

Rhodey had become a major figure in your life lately. He’d always been there for you and your dad but now he was like a teacher and mentor to you. All thanks to him, you could get your life back on track. And he was happy to help you anyways because you were like his own child.

But he’d started to take you to various social events lately and you HATED that. You were always a shy and socially anxious kid (a complete opposite of your father.) So the thought of attending social events where so many people and cameras were present…that was enough to send you into an early grave.

“Rhodey….for the last time. I’m not going with you. What am I even gonna do there? Sit and yawn while all you military and political people make speeches? No thanks”, you said breathlessly and jogged a little ahead of him.

He joined you immediately, huffing and puffing, “First of all.” Huff. “Slow DOWN. Jesus Christ.” Huff. And he stopped while putting his hands on his knees.

“Keep up, lazy! We gotta keep THE War Machine kicking and alive, come on!”, you say while jogging backwards and smiling at him.

When you saw that he was not going to join you, you stopped and jogged over to him. “Lazy, my ass. I’m 60 years old, you little shit”, he said while looking up at you, eyes narrowed and hands still on his knees. Still huffing and puffing.

You chuckled and helped him stand up with your arm around his back and another arm holding his. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You wanna sit down? Might as well drink some water, I’m thirsty.”

He nods his head yes and both of you sit down on a nearby bench and take a breather. You’re quiet for sometime, soaking in the crisp morning air and looking at the water fountain in front of you when Rhodey speaks up.

“I know you hate these events. But, please come to this one. We have a reunion in order, anyways”, he says cheekily while looking at you with that big smile of his plastered on his face.

You turned your head to look at him and raised your eyebrow, “Reunion? With whom?”, you ask skeptically. “Please don’t say Steve Rogers, Rhodey. I swear to god, I will never step foot in this city again”, you say, irritated.

He scoffed, “Nah, don’t worry. That’s never happening. It’s Sam. He’s been telling me that he wants to meet you.”

You observed his face for a second to see if he was being serious. “Sam? Sam Wilson? Why would he want to meet me?”, you asked, confused. Ever since the Sokovia Accords were brought into existence and ever since you sided with your father, Steve and the others didn’t want anything to do with your family. But you didn’t have anything against any of them— well, except for Steve. That was personal.

Even back then, you told your dad that you thought Bucky was innocent and that you want him to forgive Bucky somehow. You never met your grandparents so their accident/murder didn’t affect you. And you especially didn’t give a fuck about your deadbeat grandfather who would abuse your dad, but you felt your dad’s anger was justified as he loved his mom. You didn’t have an issue with Sam either. Not even when Rhodey met with that fatal accident that made him lose his legs. You saw the footage, and Rhodey told you as well, that Sam simply dodged. He didn’t cause the fall, nor did he injure him on purpose. The fall happened because his suit malfunctioned. But since Steve was the glue that was holding them together, they avoided talking to you at all. They were simply being loyal. And we all know how Steve Rogers thanked their loyalty in the end.

You would never forgive him for breaking your dysfunctional-found-family apart by being a selfish asshole and by abandoning your dad when he needed his support the most.

Rhodey shrugged. “Dunno. But he was looking forward to meeting you. He’s the kindest man I know, kid. And I know you don’t hold a grudge against him either. Please, come with me. I promise we will go get some ice cream later”, he said earnestly and smiled.

You let out a deep sigh. “Chocolate chips. Double scoop”, you said and lifted your water bottle to drink to avoid looking at his smug expression.

“Oh, you shall get anything you ask for, your highness”, he said while extravagantly bowing at you.

You just smirked and got back up to jog.

The constant clicking of the cameras was quickly causing a throbbing ache to appear behind your eyes. You were dressed in your formal clothes, presentable as always, and entered the museum arm-in-arm with Rhodey.

After giving a thousand repetitive interviews, half of which Rhodey denied on your behalf, you finally saw the man in question—Sam Wilson. Captain America.

Honestly, you were so proud of and excited for him to take up the mantle. It wasn’t a shock that Steve handed over that shield to Sam. He deserved it.

He saw the two of you and came over to talk. As he came closer, you saw just how shocked he was to see you there.

“Whats up, man? How are you?”, Sam said while shaking hands with Rhodey and bringing him in for a hug, all the while flashing his lovely, tooth-gaped smile.

Rhodey patted his back and broke away from the hug. “The usual. I got a surprise for you”, Rhodey said while putting an arm around your shoulder.

Sam, still surprised, flashed another one of his smiles at you.

“I just can’t believe you’re here. I hope you know how grateful I am”, he said earnestly while putting his hand out to shake yours.

You looked at his hand and shook it. “I’m surprised you wanted to meet me”, you say while smirking at him.

His smile faded after hearing that and he looked at you with a solemn expression.

“Yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long. I-” “Mr. Wilson, it’s your turn to speak.” Sam looked back at the woman and nodded his head at her.

“Uh…I’ll catch up with you after all this is done. Please wait until then?”, Sam turned around and asked you, nervously.

Rhodey looked at you to decipher your reaction. “Okay. I’ll wait. But not for long and not in front of these cameras”, you say coolly.

Sam smiles at you and Rhodey before approaching the stage.

“See? That wasn’t so bad”, Rhodey says while leading you to sit at the front row.

“We’ll see about that— not the front row, Rhodes... It’s like you want me to run away”, you groaned while slowing your pace.

Rhodey just laughs and pats your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll be next to you the whole time. You can even crush my hand if you want to.”

You and Rhodey sat down and watched Sam approach the stage.

Sam looked sharp in his well-fitted suit but something about his expression screamed anxiety.

He began his speech.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically”, everyone chuckled at that. You scoffed.

“The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing...”, he chuckles before picking up the shield and continuing.

“I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up, and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you”, Sam concluded and handed over the shield to the museum security who then put encased it in a glass case. The camera flashes went off.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You knew something was wrong the moment Sam stepped up on the stage. Your mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned your head to look at Rhodey.

“Why did he give up the shield?”, you asked confused.

Rhodey solemnly smiled.

“Maybe try talking to Sam about this?”, he explained to you, gently.

You nodded your head in understanding.

Rhodey went over to talk to Sam while you checked out the other exhibits to give them a little privacy.

You ended up looking at Bucky’s exhibit.

They were displaying those clips of him in the 40s, smiling and free of all the pain, and they made your heart clench in sadness and guilt. He deserved better.

“Still can’t believe bionic staring machine was a heartbreaker back then”, you heard Sam’s voice behind you.

You looked at him and smirked.

“As if he’s not a heartbreaker anymore. Those baby blue’s? Could break a grandma’s heart too, which is funny because he would still be older than her”, you joked and looked back at the display.

Sam stood to your right with his hands in his pockets. He laughed at your joke and looked up at the TV displaying Steve and Bucky together.

He let out a sigh and brought his lips together in a thin line.

You looked over to him and studied his profile observed the way he carried tension in his shoulders.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you asked him gently.

He shut his eyes and looked down, letting out another deep sigh.

“Kid…I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt.

You furrowed your brows.

“For what?”, you asked, genuinely confused.

Sam finally looked up at you with teary eyes. His brows scrunched together.

“Everything. The accords…Rhodey’s acci- injuries. For-for not making an attempt to maintain contact with you, for-”

“Hey. Don’t. I’m not angry about any of that. I never was. And I will never hold a grudge against anyone that wasn’t on my da- on our side”, you cut him off and explained to him firmly. “And if Rhodey isn’t upset about his accident, then who am I to question it? I know you didn’t dodge. It was an accident. I saw the footage way back then, Sam”, you laid your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

He was overcome with emotion. He deflated as if years’ worth of weight on his shoulders had been lifted off of him. He simply nodded his head.

“If anything, I’m sorry. For everything you had to go through. I hope you’re doing better, now”, you continued.

Sam gave you a half smile.

“Yeah, I’m good. Helpin’ out my sister with the house and my nephews.”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised. You didn’t know he had a sister or nephews.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah…I got a younger sister and 2 nephews— AJ and Cass.”

You smiled. “I had no idea. I’m glad you guys can live together again”, you replied sincerely.

“Thank you, kid. I had no idea you’re so….nice”, he smirked.

You let out a loud laugh. Contrary to popular belief and rumours, you were a good and polite kid. Your dad, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy made sure of that. It was always funny to find out how people would judge you on the basis of your last name. But, it could also be because of your resting bitch face.

Both of you quieted down and looked at the display once again, when you decided to finally bring it up.

“Sam, why’d you give up the shield?”, you asked curiously.

He pursed his lips.

“That shield is heavy. And I don’t know if this country is ready to see a man like me bear the weight of it. No matter how many times everyone keeps telling me that it was Steve’s choice, they don’t know the consequences of me being Captain America until they wear my shoes. Steve didn’t know it either because at the end of the day, our skin colour doesn’t match and that isn’t suitable for the shield”, he replied heavily.

It felt like someone had put cold water on top of you, his words cutting straight through your ignorance. The pressure that Sam was undergoing would never be understood by anyone who didn’t look like him. That’s why Rhodey was so understanding of his decision.

You straightened up.

“Oh. Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”, you paused to gather your thoughts and word them carefully. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve known better. I understand. And I respect your decision”, you replied, genuine understanding dripping from your words.

Sam looked at you, surprised. He wasn’t expecting you to understand his situation.

“That’s- it’s..alright kid. Thank you for understanding me. It means a lot”, he replied sincerely and patted your shoulder.

You were about to take his leave when he spoke up.

“Listen, I got a proposal for you.”

You quirked an eyebrow.

“Just…hear me out, okay? Rhodey told me to keep an eye out for you whenever he’s busy. Says you do well with discipline in your routine. If you don’t mind, you could join me and help me out with the tech stuff, you know?”, he said hesitantly.

You were about to deny his offer when he put his hands out in a placating gesture.

“I know, it’s been a long time. You’re not interested in this stuff anymore. But I could use some extra hands and who better than a Stark to help out with technology, right? And, who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend”, he tried to convince you.

“A friend? You think I’m some loner or what, Wilson? (You kind of were, a loner, but we will ignore that.) And just who is this friend?”, you asked him with narrowed eyes.

“He’s my new team member. A tech savvy nerd, like you. You’ll get along, trust me. Except I’ll warn you, that boy yaps a Lot”, Sam replied while chuckling.

That sounded way too familiar to you. You immediately froze and just stared at Sam, lost in thought. All those unwanted and painful memories were coming back to you.

Sam put his hand on your shoulder and you snapped out of your stupor.

“You don’t have to answer me immediately. Take your time, the offer is always open for you. Okay?”, he asked hopefully, ever the optimistic counselor.

You let out a big sigh.

“I don’t know. I’ll see”, you murmured. You could feel that uneasy feeling creep up your veins that told you to shut down, keep everyone away and to run somewhere far away where you could be isolated in peace.

You were finally feeling comfortable in your little bubble that consisted of you, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and Morgan. Now you had to go out and make yourself accommodating and welcoming again. You had to repeat everything and start from scratch. It was a lot. You were not ready for that.

Healing is never linear, you knew that. But you were doing so well for the past two months. You clenched your fists and begged your mind to keep it together. You were pretty good at masking it.

Sam just nodded his head and patted your arm.

“Come on, I’ll walk you and Rhodey off.”

You both returned to Rhodey and said your goodbyes.

“See ya, old man. Take care of yo’self, alright?”, Sam said while hugging Rhodey.

“You too, Wilson”, Rhodey said before breaking the hug and patting Sam’s back.

“I’m proud of you, Sam. Never forget that”, Rhodey said gently.

Sam just smiled weakly and patted Rhodey’s shoulder before turning to look at you.

You looked at him and gave him a barely there smile before surprising him with a hug. You don’t know what came over you but you just wanted him to know that you appreciated his support and the conversation that you two had back there. Your words failed you, so you did the next best thing you knew– a hug.

He looked at Rhodey over your shoulder and patted your back like an older brother.

“Take care, kid. Think about what I said”, he said after breaking off the hug.

You simply nodded your head yes.

“And both of you are invited to the family cookout, alright? Rhodes, make sure you bring them with you. Sarah makes a mean cornbread”, Sam says while pointing at you.

Rhodey chuckles and you grin before departing.

You sat in the car and looked out of the window, deep in thought. You were processing your conversation with Sam and debating whether you should join him, or not. You couldn’t help but keep thinking about this friend that he mentioned and how he reminded you too much of-

“Whatcha thinkin’?”, Rhodey asked lightly, as if to not startle you.

You glanced back at him and turned your attention to the front of the car. You sighed softly.

“Had a good chat with Sam. We apologised to each other and sorted out our misconceptions.”

“That’s good, right?”, Rhodey asked and tilted his head to look at you.

You nodded. “Yeah. It was really nice to clear all of that up. He’s so…lovely to talk to. We also talked about his decision to give up the shield. I felt so stupid when he explained it to me. How could I not understand that beforehand?”, you said while clenching your jaw, feeling guilty for judging his decision.

Rhodey gave you a soft smile.

“Atleast you’re self-aware, sweetheart”, he said lightly.

You finally gave him a smile.

“Yeah. He also gave me an offer. To join him”, you said hesitantly.

Rhodey smirked knowingly. Sam had already discussed this with him.

“And? What’re you thinking?”, Rhodey asked nonchalantly so as to not freak you out.

You let out a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I’ll think over it”, you replied with finality in your tone.

Rhodey felt the walls build up again so he backed off instead of pestering you to talk more.

“That’s okay. You can take all the time you want, kid. There’s no rush”, Rhodey said sincerely.

You looked at him and squeezed his hand.

“Shall we go get that ice-cream now, your highness?”, Rhodey joked.

You finally let out a chuckle and nodded your head yes before turning your attention back towards the window. You let out a sigh.

You were not going to get any sleep tonight.

Part 2

—————————————————————————

AN: Whew. This was so LONG, I’m so sorry. 😭🙏 but I just couldn’t stop writing because I love me a stark!reader as that’s literally me but also I needed some found family content + closure between the stark family and the cap fam, too. Which is why I had to break it in 2 parts. Our lovebirds will meet in the 2nd part. Keep guessing the references and this mystery person until then.😛 thank you for reading!

148 notes · View notes

dameronspector · 13 hours ago

Text

Philophobia (Part 2)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Chapter Summary: Another nightmare that felt way too realistic and one panic attack later, you decided to pick up Pepper’s call and talk to her about everything that happened yesterday. She gives you a little mom talk. And you finally meet the treasure that is Joaquin Torres.

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression/Depressive episodes, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Some cursing, Love at First Sight, Kind of enemies to lovers but only because reader hates opening up to people so they bully Joaquin, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, the lovebirds are finally meeting!!, Joaquin is Down Bad, Reader has some phobias, Found family, also there’s a few references and hidden plots in this. 😁 (please keep in mind that I wrote this from my point of view as a south asian.)

You were walking around the cabin and finally stepped out on the patio. It must’ve been…days since you last stepped out of your room. Pepper tried everything to bring you out and have lunch with her and Morgan but she ended up having to leave your plate by your door.

You are not too sure what compelled you to finally step out of your room. All you knew is that you felt a nagging feeling in your stomach and before you knew it, you were opening the door.

You turned and your eyes fell on the chairs in the corner. You froze.

You felt like your body had turned to cement. You couldn’t move, at all. Your breath hitched and your eyes widened. You wanted to call out to the person, so bad. But you just couldn’t. It felt like your mouth was stitched close. You could feel bile rising up your throat.

The person finally turned around and looked at you.

“Honey?”, your dad asked you, softly.

Hold on. Your dad?

“How…wh-what? H-how are you..?”, you finally sputtered out and furrowed your eyebrows painfully.

The pers-your dad, stood up and made his way over to you. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was etched into a frown.

He reached you and put his hands on your shoulders.

“Hey, it’s me. What’s up, baby? You good? Pep told me you didn’t have your lunch, yet. You wanna get some burgers with me?”, he asked worriedly while caressing your shoulders.

You didn’t know what the fuck was happening. How was he here. Why was he here. What was happening. How are you here. You had so many questions.

“I-dad?”, you croaked out and looked at him with teary eyes. You ran your gaze across his face as if you were trying to remember how he looked like.

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Yeah, it’s me baby. What’s happ-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you crashed into him and buried your face in his chest, your arms around his waist. You hugged him so tightly that it must’ve been painful.

He immediately wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly.

“Honey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Does anything hurt?”, Tony asked you with fear and panic heavy in his voice. One thing about Tony is that if you panic, he’s gonna panic. He couldn’t see his baby hurting like that.

You simply shook your head no, scrunched your eyes tighter and buried yourself into his chest even more. Your body shook with uncontrollable sobs.

“Look at me, kiddo. Please, you gotta tell me what’s up”, Tony pleaded and put his hand on your head, caressing it.

After taking in deep, shuddering breaths to somewhat calm yourself down, you reluctantly broke the hug and looked up at him.

To your horror, gone was his caring and aged, wrinkly face with gray hair.

You came face to face with a half dead man. The right side of his face was completely burnt and charred by the explosion from the snap. His entire body was grey. Not the gray that comes with aging. But the kind of grey that comes with the left out soot of a dying fire. The grey that painted your life after his demise. His eyes were open but unresponsive, and they were so empty it made you sick.

Gone were your father’s mischievous and warm brown eyes. His mouth was open as if he had just let out his final breath.

You stumbled back from him before letting out a loud scream.

“No. No no no no. NO! PLEASE. GO AWAY. NO NO-”

And then you woke up.

You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t even move. You felt paralysed. And why was it so dark?

“FR-FRIDAY…turn on.. turn on the lights”, you managed to choke out in between gasps.

You clenched your blanket in your hands to ground yourself.

“Boss, do you want me to start a breathing exercise?”

You gulped and gasped out a weak “Yes.”

You went through the motions– deep breath in, hold for 5 seconds, deep breath out, hold for 5 seconds.

After doing this for 5-6 times, you finally managed to calm down.

Now, you were too scared to go back to sleep. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw your father’s lifeless face.

It’s been a while since you had a nightmare this bad. And this one was way too realistic than the other ones you had. You literally felt like you were at the cabin. You could feel his touch on your shoulders. You felt his hug. Oh, you’d do anything to go back to that nightmare just to feel his hugs once again.

You let out a deep sigh and buried your head in your hands, while leaning your arms against your thighs.

You felt your damp cheeks. You straightened up and ran your hand through your hair.

“FRI, what’s the time right now?”, you croaked out. Your voice was sore from all the yelling.

“It’s 3:15 am, boss.”

You groaned and rubbed your eyes with the heels of your palms. You were not going to get any sleep now (as you predicted earlier in the day). You threw your blanket aside and went out to the kitchen to prepare yourself some coffee. Your coffee addiction definitely made up for the alcohol addiction.

You sipped your coffee on the rooftop deck and you let the chill air cool your warm body.

You felt an itch in your hands to tinker on your dad’s suits again. You haven’t touched those in 3 weeks. Which was progress for you.

You held your coffee mug tighter in your hands to resist the urge to get up and start working. You had promised your therapist and Rhodey that you would not use the suits as a distraction or coping mechanism again. But old habits die hard. So you made way to your makeshift lab. You were planning to turn that room into a proper lab soon.

You started working on MARK 42. You don’t even know what, why, where or when were you going to use all these suits again but you needed a distraction.

“FRIDAY, play ABBA”, you asked the AI. What better than working while dancing to ABBA to distract yourself from a night terror?

It was 9 am now. You had successfully stayed up all night working on the suits and dancing to your playlists. It was…fun. I mean, as fun as it gets after having a paralysing night terror. You did your morning routine and had your breakfast. Now you were completely exhausted so you just flopped down on your couch and just rested your eyes.

The moment you felt yourself slip into a deep slumber, your phone rang.

You groaned. “FRI, who is it?”, you asked tiredly.

“It’s Mrs. Potts, boss.”

You immediately opened your eyes and picked up your phone from the coffee table. You and your dad had decided to never not pick up Pepper’s calls because if you don’t, she gets stressed out and then she stresses all of you out.

“Hey, mom”, you answered. This was a recent development during The Blip. You had finally started calling her mom. And honestly? It felt good. She’s been the mother you never had since you were a little kid.

“Oh, how I love hearing you say that”, she said giddily.

You just chuckled.

“How are you, honey? Everything good? Groceries are stocked? How are your sessions going on? Oh, and how was the event? Rhodey told me you met Sam. I hope you had a good time. And how was-”

“Mom. Can you take a breather, my god”, you asked exasperated.

You could practically feel her sheepish smile through the phone. She’s always been this fussy ever since she joined your abnormal family.

“Sorry, honey. First, tell me, how are you?”, she asked gently.

You let out a deep sigh. “I-I’m…okay. Could be better”, you answered truthfully. You’re doing much better at this whole sharing your emotions thing.

“You wanna talk about what happened? You know I’m always here, right? We’re all here for you, sweetheart.”

You could feel your throat choke up again and you scrunched your eyes shut.

You gulped. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, mom,” your voice cracked.

Pepper must’ve understood that you’re not in the mood to share anything else so she quickly changes the topic.

“And how was the event? How’s Sam?”

“He’s as glorious as he was before. Although, now he looks a little tired. But that shield looks really good on him, mom. I’m so happy for him”, you replied sincerely.

Pepper hummed. “Why did he give up the shield? I saw the news”, she asked thoughtfully.

“Yeah, well. There’s some things that we can’t understand. Considering the country we live in and the way things are now…let’s just say he put a lot of thought into it. Not really my place to say, you know?”, you replied.

Pepper let out a soft sigh. “Yeah, I understand. Also, Rhodey told me that Sam gave you an offer?”

You paused. You knew Rhodey would tell her about that. Everyone in this family is a snitch, oh my god, you thought.

You closed your eyes and reluctantly confessed.

“Yeah. He did. Something about helping him with his tech or whatever. And before you say anything, no I didn’t say yes to him. I’m not sure I want to join him.”

“Are you sure about that? You are at home with your tech, sweetheart. It’ll help you stay productive, as well”, Pepper asked you carefully.

You stayed silent. Pepper took that as a sign to continue.

“Besides…Rhodey also mentioned a new friend?” She added with mirth in her voice. She kept trying to set you up on a date so you’re sure she was ecstatic when Rhodey told her this.

You groaned loudly. “Why is my personal life a gossip for you two?! Is Rhodey the resident gossip girl now?!”, you said while pinching the bridge of your nose with your index finger and thumb. You’re going to steal Rhodey’s suits until he stops meddling with your life.

Pepper laughed.

“I’m not going to join Sam and I’m not meeting any friend. You guys need to relax, alright? What am I even gonna do there. And I don’t think Sam actually wants me there, either. So. Anyways. Bye mom. I’ll talk to you later”, you said abruptly.

Pepper just let out a deep sigh. You were Tony’s carbon copy. It was scary. It’s times like these that made her miss him even more because it reminded her of their younger selves. She’d give anything to see you two banter again. And she knows you would’ve listened to him in a heartbeat, too.

“Okay, honey. Take care. I love you.”

You just hummed and cut the call. You dropped your phone back on the coffee table and draped your arm across your eyes.

You didn’t even realise when you fell asleep because the next time you woke up, it was to FRIDAY calling you out.

“Boss, wake up. There’s someone at the door.”

You sighed. “FRI, if it’s Rhodey you can just let him in”, you picked up your phone to check the time. It was 12:00 pm. You slept for a good while.

FRIDAY began, “It isn’t Mr. Rhodes, boss. It’s Mr. Wilson. And just for your information, he’s here with someone.”

That snapped you out of your sleep and you jolted up.

“What? What is he doing here? How did he know-Rhodey”, you groaned loudly. You knew Pepper would tell the details of your conversation to Rhodey. You shouldn’t have picked her call up, yet.

“Fuck, okay. Tell him to wait for a minute. I’ll be right back”, you said in an exhausted voice.

You went to your bedroom and changed your pajamas to a presentable shirt and jeans and quickly washed your face before brushing your hair.

“Okay. Let him in”, you told FRIDAY.

While he came in, you were in the kitchen, fetching some water for Sam. You decided you might as well be a good host and let him down politely.

“Hey, kid.”

You had your back to him and you turned around to greet him- who is that.

You must’ve expressed that a little too obviously as Sam chuckled nervously and introduced you to the guy that came with him.

“Kid, meet Joaquin. Joaquin, that’s-”

“(Name) Stark. I know. Wow. I mean- Hey. Nice- Honoured to meet to you. I’m Lieutenant Joaquin Torres”, he rambled and held out his hand for you to shake.

You swore you felt your heart skip a beat.

Wait what?

Both of you were looking at each other so intently, that Sam just chose to stand beside Joaquin with his arms across his chest, an amusing smirk spread over his face. He could already see that a few months later, y’all would thank him for this.

“Kid?”, Sam asked playfully.

You snapped out of your daze and looked at Sam.

“H-hey. I wasn’t expecting you here...” you trailed off and blinked your eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Rhodes gave me the address. Sorry for just barging in like this but it’s kind of an emergency”, Sam replied apologetically.

You simply hummed. And your eyes went to their feet. Not because you had a fetish but because they were wearing their shoes. In your house. You widened your eyes.

“Both of you, take off your shoes. Did Rhodey not tell you about the rules? No shoes in my house”, you say exasperatedly.

Both of them, shocked at your sudden reaction and your rules, immediately went to the entrance and stood there dumbfounded.

“Where-”, Sam began and pointed at their shoes.

You sighed. “Just remove them by the door.”

They quickly removed their shoes and joined you in the living room, nervously.

You turned your gaze back towards Joaquin. He was still staring at you intently and hadn’t said a single word. You furrowed your brows.

“Is he…okay?”, you asked Sam in confusion.

Sam turned to look at Joaquin and pursed his lips to avoid laughing. He brought his hand up and clapped it on Joaquin’s back firmly.

“Torres, you good?”

Joaquin flinched and snapped his eyes to Sam. He blinked rapidly.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m good. All good”, he said quickly and threw a thumbs up.

Sam just smiled knowingly.

“Kid, as you must’ve figured out by now, he’s the partner I mentioned yesterday and he’s the one who looks over most of the technical stuff. Since I’ve been sending him off on field missions on the side, I thought, why not ask you to help us with the remaining stuff.”

“I mean, I’m good at it, just gets a little difficult to handle it when I’m on field, you know. Not that you aren’t better than me, I mean you’re THE (Name) Stark, ofcourse you’re better than me but-”

“It’s alright. I got it. Joaquin, right?”, you cut off his rambling and held out a hand to stop him.

Wow, he really IS talkative. This was going to be a problem.

You saw how he shut his mouth and gulped.

“Y-yeah…”, Joaquin trailed off. You couldn’t help but notice, had such shiny brown eyes…

What is wrong with you?

“Please take a seat, you guys want something to drink? Eat?”, you asked them while leading them to the couch.

“No, we’re good. Actually….we want you to join us right away. Like, now, would be good”, Sam told you hesitantly. He knew this was not a good idea. Rhodey told him that you were already on edge about all this.

You paused. “Now? Like, now now?”, you asked carefully.

Sam grimaced. “Yeah…actually, we’ve got a big problem. And that problem just broke redwing.”

You widened your eyes. “No way, you let your child get abused like that?”, you asked jokingly. Joaquin chuckled at this. You stared at him in amusement.

Sam narrowed his eyes at you and Joaquin. “Damn right he’s my child. And that’s why I’m asking you to cure him. He’s like, your sibling. Please, don’t say no.”

“Did you just call a robot my sibling? And are you really giving me the puppy eyes right now, Wilson?”, you quirked an eyebrow at him.

He ignored the second question and just tilted his head- like a kicked puppy. “If your dad birthed him then he’s your sibling, right?”

You groaned and rubbed your hands across your face. Honestly? You already knew your answer. You knew it the moment Rhodey requested you to think about it. You were simply hesitating because of your tendency to pull away the moment something triggers you. You know, stark legacy and all. And you didn’t want to hurt Sam like that.

You let out a sigh that came from deep inside your bones.

“Okay we’re gonna have some rules. 1. You’re not going to make any weird jokes about redwing being my sibling. 2. I will not participate in any kind of field operations. 3. I will come and go as I please”, you paused and pointed at Joaquin, “and 4. If I tell you something, you will simply listen to me. No questions. No counter arguments. Zip. Nada. Am I clear?”, you finished, looking pointedly at the two of them.

You saw their eyes comically widen.

“Oh hell yeah, whatever you say. And we agree with all of your conditions, don’t we, Joaquin?”, Sam said excitedly.

You saw Joaquin nod his head eagerly. You were mesmerised by the way his bouncy, beautiful, dark curls moved atop his head, powered by those dark coffee pools that are his eyes- Knock it off. No. We’re not doing this again.

You quickly averted your eyes and gulped. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how Joaquin’s gaze was fixated on you.

“Okay. Relax. What’s the plan, now?”, you asked reluctantly.

“We’ll go to my apartment, first. You can check out all the stuff that needs fixing and run a diagnosis on redwing. Then we can go ahead from there. Sounds good?.”

You nodded your head.

“Yeah, okay. Let me clean up and pack a bag. Then we can leave. You guys can help yourself around until then. FRIDAY, help them out with anything they need”, you announced and went to your room. You couldn’t believe you actually said yes.

Joaquin’s (+Sam’s) POV

“You’re serious? You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to join us? No, no. You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to work with ME?”, Joaquin asked Sam with all the excitement that existed in the world. He was practically bouncing off the walls.

He couldn’t believe it. How was this his life now. Partnering with his role model and hero and now he gets to work with his crush who is also his second role model? No fucking way, dude.

Sam knew how much that boy loved the eldest stark child because he would never shut up about them. It’s always ‘oh man, they’re so talented and so beautiful’ or ‘how are they so well dressed every time?’ Or ‘how can someone be so intelligent at such a young age, bro?’.

Sam found out about Joaquin’s little crush on you when he walked in on him watching an old interview. You were talking at a charity event that took place 6 years ago. You were only 17 then. Joaquin was so engrossed in the video that he was leaning his head on his propped up arm and staring at the screen of his laptop without blinking. With a dopey smile plastered on his face.

“I didn’t know you were a fan?”, Sam asked cheekily.

Joaquin flinched and quickly shut his laptop.

“Dude, can’t you knock?!”, he exclaimed and put his hand on his chest.

Sam just smirked. “I thought you were working on some intel that’s why I came here to check it out. But, here you are, makin’ googly eyes at your laptop screen! That’s your fault, Torres. You’re procrastinating.”

Sam noticed how Joaquin’s cheeks turned bright red.

“Uh- well. I was. I was just looking at a speech. A very intellectual and interesting speech, mind you”, he quickly explained.

Sam quirked an eyebrow. “Oh really? Was the speech interesting or was the speaker interesting?”, he asked cheekily.

Joaquin’s face reddened even more.

“Um- I- well, you see-”, Joaquin stuttered.

Sam just laughed and clapped his shoulder. “It’s okay, man. I won’t tell anybody about your crush. Pinky promise”, he teased.

Joaquin groaned and ducked his head.

After that incident, Joaquin randomly came clean about his infatuation with you during a night out.

“I don’t know, man. There’s something so…captivating about them. The way they command the room even though they’re so shy. The way they speak so eloquently. The way they’re always respectful to others even if they’re strangers. The way they defend their family so fiercely. How they’re so passionate about all the causes they work for. Just…”, Joaquin trailed off and shook his head.

“Yeah. You don’t see those qualities often in a billionaire’s heir, you know. Feels like they really root for the underdog. And I love that. I love their empathy and the grace they carry themselves with”, Joaquin said with affection dripping from his words.

Sam whistled. “Oh boy, you’ve got it bad.”

Joaquin just chuckled and took a sip out of a beer. His entire face was red. Yeah. He had it bad. And he was not ashamed of it.

After meeting you at the press meet, Sam went to meet up with Joaquin at the tarmac. He was 100% prepared for the onslaught of questions because he knew Joaquin must’ve seen the footage.

He turned around the corner and there it was.

“Dude. You met up with them?! What the fuck? You didn’t tell me. I would’ve joined you, man. Why didn’t you ask me, oh my god? They looked so good, by the way, but that’s not important. You MET them and you-” “I asked them if they wanna work with you.”

“And you talked to them right? How was it- wait. WHAT?”, Joaquin yelled abruptly.

Sam shushed him. “Relax, Torres. And yes, I asked them if they wanted to work with you. I mean not you–I asked them if they wanted to join me and help us with the tech stuff”, Sam replied nonchalantly, as if this was not a big deal. As if Joaquin wasn’t this close to passing out.

Sam swore he saw Joaquin buffer in real time. The #1 Yapper was rendered speechless? He had to thank you for that.

Joaquin opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

“You….asked them…if they wanted to…work with me?”, Joaquin squeaked out, eyes zoned out as if he’s in a trance.

“Not you exclusively, don’t get ahead of yourself, lover boy”, Sam narrowed his eyes at Joaquin.

Joaquin completely ignored that. “What did they say?”, he asked impatiently, eyes wide in hope.

Sam sighed. “Well, after everything they’ve been through…it’s not been easy for them. I’m not sure they’ll agree to do this. We can only wait.”

A flicker of understanding passed through Joaquin’s face. He nodded. “Yeah man, I understand”, he said sincerely.

“But..god, I hope they say yes”, Joaquin added shyly and ducked his head, averting his gaze from Sam.

Sam just smiled. “Yeah man, me too.”

Which brings them back to today. They were literally standing outside your penthouse.

Joaquin asked Sam once again-

Sam just smirked.

“Calm down, tiger. You don’t even know if they’re gonna say yes”, Sam told him with amusement lacing his tone.

“I know, I know. Still. It’s crazy, bro…We’re literally standing outside their house, right now? Oh, I can’t wait to throw down with them-”

Joaquin was cut off by FRIDAY speaking.

“Boss has asked you to come in, Mr. Wilson.”

Sam looked at Joaquin, all the amusement vanishing from his eyes.

“Listen, Joaquin. I’m serious. Don’t say or do anything that’ll freak them out. It’s a sensitive topic, okay?”

Joaquin nodded his head in understanding.

The door opened and they entered the living room. Joaquin’s hands started sweating. He was fucking terrified yet excited at the same time.

They turned around to and finally saw you.

Sam greeted you and you immediately turned around to greet him. You seemed surprised to see them. Sam introduced the two of you. But, Joaquin felt like time had stopped. His ears were ringing. His hands were shaking, his knees were weak and he felt dizzy.

God, you are beautiful.

You were wearing a simple shirt and jeans and had absolutely no make up or anything but…you had a special kind of beauty. Your warm and empathetic nature truly showed on your face because you were glowing. To him, you were like an angel sent straight from heaven.

Joaquin ran his eyes all over you like a man quenching his thirst. He couldn’t believe that you standing right in front of him. That he was allowed to be in your orbit like this.

And in the midst of his mental breakdown, he didn’t notice the way you seemed to have stopped in your tracks and were looking at him just as intensely.

While the two of you were busy with your little staring contest, you didn’t notice Sam smirking to himself in satisfaction.

‘They will be thanking me soon’, Sam thought smugly.

AN: woohoo!! They finally met! I’m also thinking of making it a series that will follow TFATWS. Hope you liked this part!

Sorry if the ending and pacing is weird. I’m still trying to figure out how to write a whole series + end chapters :(

#joaquin torres #danny ramirez #sam wilson #joaquin torres fluff #joaquin torres x stark!reader #joaquin torres x you #joaquin torres x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #james rhodes #tony stark #dad!tony stark #marvel cinematic universe #falcon #joaquin x reader #angst #fluff

43 notes · View notes