#can you tell im so fucking tired of losing people
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I feel like not enough people talk about the overwhelming grief that comes with being transfem. The grief that punches through your ribcage and hammers on your heart and won't ever stop because in feeling like yourself, you're also doomed to be so alone.
The world demands a perfect performance of trans women, but no one can be perfect forever. And so you lose everything and everyone, over and over again because youre in that group of societies favorite outcasts and it Hurts. But you tell yourself that it could be worse. You could still be who you were before you realized.
But that doesn't stop the grief of all that loss from swallowing you whole. And it doesn't stop you from needing connection (for long, at least) but there's no connection to find. And so you sit there and you grieve, and you hurt and sob, until it gets to be to much and now those trusted few are grieving you, too.
And fuck, we all need less grief in our lives so please, please, PLEASE hug your trans friends for me today. Send that wierd, off-putting girl a hug emoji, tell her you think of her. Ask your old friend that you don't talk to anymore to hang out again sometime.
Love EVERY trans woman you meet before it's too late.
#love every trans woman you meet before it's too late#can you tell i think too often and too hard about grief#god damn it.#can you tell im so fucking tired of losing people#can you tell how fucking angry i am#how fucking sick of it all i am#r writes a thing#transfem#trans woman
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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the word terrorist has lost pretty much all meaning to me because 90% of the time a white person says that word its used as a shorthand for 'nonwhite people resisting oppression'
#skye's ramblings#im soo fucking tired of seeing zionists spout their genocidal bullshit on literally any post abt palestine. im soo fucking angry#ive been trying not to have a meltdown on here but every day this continues i get more and more pissed. how many more people have to die.#we protest and scream in the streets and give anything we can spare and fucking nothing changes bc western democracy is a fucking scam#daily reports of brown children slaughtered and people will smirk behind the safety of their screens and smugly tell you they deserved it.#my native aunts and cousins who are still suffering from the effects of colonialism watch as the descendants of people who took everything#-use their tax money to send more bombs to an illegitimate state that is doing the exact same fucking thing in real time. i want to scream#god dammit im so fucking tired. i will never lose hope but god damn. i am so tired of white people feeling entitled to fucking everything
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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‼️REALLY LONG VENT IN THE TAGS PLS SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE THAT OR ANYTHING IM OK JUST FRUSTRATED (Ik I also say this in the tags but just in case)‼️
Maybe I do need to see a therapist 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
#GONNA VENT IN THE TAGS U CAN IGNORE THESE I JUST GOTTA GET MY THOUGHTS OUT AND STUFF#ALSO DW ABT ME OR ANYTHING LIKE IM MOSTLY FINE BUT#collecting problems like fucking Pokémon cards#my extended family sucks ass for one#homophobic/transphobic assholes#that fucking hate my parents for no good reason and keep trying to talk to me as if they don’t actually despise my parents#you hate my fucking parents I’m not saying shit to you#I cant fucking trust anyone in this family#there is no one I could ever tell anything and I’m sick of people lying to me and telling me I could#even my mom I couldn’t tell everything cause she’ll start losing her FUCKING SHIT#second of all I feel like I don’t fit in with kids my age#besides a couple of my friends#oh speaking of friends I can never fucking tell what to think abt my best friend since like 3rd grade#I’m too tired to get into that but I’m just so FUCKING CONFUSED#I just wanna scream so fucking bad#vent tw#sleep vents
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this
#speculation nation#daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days...#im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard#im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn.#what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles#and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response#im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day#but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned#and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat.#im just... tired. im so very tired.#i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to#constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing)#and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed#if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work#at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think#get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes.#i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding#i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic#but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month.#losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though.#negative/
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Dead ass, just thought about killbot 86 & sharp sight having a couple goals where they both hate on the main protagonist duo💖✨
#chewys notes#just random ramblings#and yes#im sorta kinda confirming that Sharp sight hate wander in a way#fun fact: He's designed to be wander-proof and was tasked with trying to capture him for lord hater#but the guy took it too far and actually tried to legitimately kill him#He was ruthless#relentless with his mission despite being told to stop at one point#Anyway yeah so#Wander did kinda fuck sharp sight over in some way and made him lose his job because his destructive tendencies got to him badly#And since killbot 86 probably hate Sylvia#they can both hate on the main duo togther💖#Couple goals: to be a massive haters toward people you don't like😍💕#I would kinda want to explain it but im tired#Call me cringe but i only started telling you guy this cause i was listening to lady gaga bad romance#and these mother fuckers sorta popped into my mind rn
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WAIT FUCK I DIDNT KNOW THE AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK SUPPORTED AI AND HAD THAT WHOLE NOT SUPPORTING PALESTINE THING GOING ON well okay maybe I suspected the ai part because of the whole glorification of the thunderhead in all his books BUT I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT PALESTINE WHAT THEFUCK HAD I KNOWN. WOULDNT HAVE POSTED THIS EWWWWW EW
Sketch for a school assignment
#NOT SAYING I HATE PEOPLE WHO LIKE ARC OF A SCYTHE BTW BE FREE TO LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE#BUT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. WHATE THE FUCK WHAT THE FCUK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK#should I delete this drawing WHAT THE FUCK#I HATE THE THUNDERHEAD BTW. I DONT CARE IF ITS A GOOD CHARACTER I DONT CARE IF ITS NICE AND SHIT THE THING THAT IT REPRESENTS#THE THING THAT THE THUNDERHEAD STANDS FOR. AI REPLACING PEOPLE AND WORKERS SO THAT IT CAN DO ALL THE EMOTIONING AND WORK FOR THEM?? NOO THAN#NO THANK YOU. NO THANKS. THAT IS SO WEIRD#like it would be a different story if the dystopia aspect of this book centered around how ai bolstered an environment where#people collectively began losing their touch with humanity because there was this fucking machine doing all the thinking for them#but INSTEAD it’s just. THE GOOD GUY? I DONT GET IT#LIKE SCYTHES PROBABLY WOUDLNT EVEN BE A THING IF THE THUNDERHEAD HADNT EMERGED OUTTA THE DUST#like the bo9 puts a MUCH heavier focus on the fact that killing people is barbaric which is. yeah#yeah that’s fucking right? thanks for telling us? gold star for you?#but it COMPLETELY glosses over the fact that THE THUNDERHEAD. IS MOSTLY TO BLAME.#PEOPLE DONT BECOME BARABRIC OVERNIGHT DAWG#LIKE. HAD PEOPLE’S EMOTIONS/JOBS NOT BEEN COMPLETELY REPLACED BY AI#Scythes would probably NEVER even be a THING in that universe because PEOPLE WOUNLD BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE#HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. THEYD BE ABLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF THE STUPID AI THINKING FOR THEM#YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING?? LIKE WE SHOULD BE TEARINGDOWN THE THUNDERHEAD#INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING ‘’oh yeah killing is bad. corruption. bad’’#and THE N there’s the entire issue I have with one of the main messages that shusterman is so obsessed with being that like#people are inherently evil. which is. no. no they are not. no#COLONIZER STANCE!! COLOOONIZER!! WHITE PERSON!! KNIVES FROM TRIGUN. WRONG!#SORRY I’m just. I’m very distraught right now#cough#anyway lemme know ut thoughts if u have any I’m open to discussion#ALSO MAJOR APOLOLGIES. if I come off super strong I am so tired#ALSO ALSO I HAVE READ ALL BOOKS UP UNTIL THE TOLL. but it was kind of a long time ago so I may be getting some details wrong#but anyway. I think my stance still has some merit. I’m thinking very hard about the ending to the toll right now. I DO NOT LIKE AI#SORRY GUYS BACK TO F451 POSTING
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:/
#why was i upset again???#diary#personal#i had like a meltdown last night. and i sorta just sat there sobbing for like an hour. then i went to bed.#when i woke up i was just like#anyways. i now am trying to eat breakfast. very unsuccessfully bc i am not eating currently.#id like porridge. but we dont have the one i like rn. so i have to settle for something else. its taken me 40 mins to decide#anyways now i have to MAKE the porridge. and im so burnt out from the meltdown its like. not gonna go well :/#like. ur telling me that while i feel like utter shit i gotta be around people????? and stand at the stove for GOD knows how long????#im gonna make the quickest porridge i can but still its not my day#i rly hope i dont have another meltdown today. bc im already like primed and raring to go for another.#god i hate them so much tho. bc i gotta be quiet i dont want anyone to hear me crying.#and like. honestly i generally get super agitated and lose my mind for a while. so like. if i was alone id probably be super loud n shit.#theyre very painful tho. internally that is. probably in part bc of how much i need to be quiet#cuz like. since i cant cry loudly. i just hold my breath! like!!! i probably sound like im hyperventilating!!!!#and honestly!!!! i have before!!!!! soley bc i cant breath enough when crying.#yeah. but you really can only cry for so long. so generally i eventually get tired and fall asleep.#or my mind sorta blanks out on me and i decide fuck it time to sleep.#so yeah. idk. meltdowns are very painful. its been a while since ive gotten that bad tbh?#whats more hilarious is i was perfectly fine until i tried to sleep. well. i wouldnt say perfectly i was stressed n tired#but nothing to indicate i was gonna meltdown or shutdown. i probably just got so overwhelmed that it sorta broke on me#and like. before i was in bed i had a task to complete so i had to focus on that and not how im feeling. so yeah.#idk. ill try to take care of myself today. but theres not much to be done. im gonna feel like shit for a while.#of course unless i get high or something. id feel a lot better instantly bc it sorta erasses the rough edges on things for me#so rather than feeling like my skin is pricked up and on edge (like i do now). id probably be just focused on food or vids#idk. its weird. and im tired. imma go eat.#drugs tw
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shit happens
spider squad x platonic!reader
request?: yes
request: “Okokok, first of all CLASH WAS SOOOO GOOD OMGGI come bearing a request only if u want to. Teen!spider!reader who is Miguel’s favorite because they don’t cause him trouble. But it’s only because they get severely anxious when they break rules (I’m not projecting, you are). So he assigns them to go on a mission with the problem children hoping they’ll rub off on them, but the problem children just corrupt them. I just need more spider children being chaotic together and tired spiderdad MiguelMwah mwah love ur writing )pls only write this if u feel like it)”
requested by: anon
word count: 2k
genre: platonic
Warnings: language, anxiety, Miguel being unrealistic with his expectations, electrocution, spider squad gettin thrown around
A/N: omg wait no bc same HAHA as someone with diagnosed severe generalized anxiety i get so anxious to break the rules even though my spirit always tells me to lol, i hope you enjoyed this anon! thank you for the request :)
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You were the golden child. There were quite a few teens in Spider Society, but you were by far Miguel’s favorite. And that’s all because you did what he said. Now did that mean you never questioned his authority? Of course not, you questioned him all the time. But you were too nervous to go against him. You were too nervous to go against anyone. It’s proven a problem in your job since the police are not your biggest fans, but luckily you befriended a nice police captain who eases your fears every now and again. Your weekly visits with Spider-Therapist have been helping with the problem, too. Which is great for you. But you still did what Miguel said. Mans could be scary.
And that’s how you ended up here. With Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, Miles Morales, and Pavitr Prabhakar. There was an anomaly that needed taken down in Hobie’s world, and Miguel stuck you with the four of them. To say you were nervous was an understatement. “Right, so anyone got a plan?” Hobie asks, in his thick accent. “What? What do you mean, dude, we’re in your world,” Miles says, and Hobie shrugs. “So? Not my villain, dunno ‘ow to stop ‘im.”
“Okay, well we know that he’s an electro variant, so… what can we do with that?” Gwen asks, and Pav sighs. “Be electrocuted,” he says sadly. “Miles can handle that,” Gwen says, and Miles snaps his head toward her. “Miles cannot handle that! Why are we saying Miles can be electrocuted?!” Miles yells, and the other three shush him. “’ow ‘bout you, mate, any ideas?” Hobie asks you, and you shrug. You look around before pointing up to the water towers on the roofs of the multiple buildings in New London. “Water,” you suggest, and they all look where you’re pointing. “Smart,” Gwen says with a nod. “How do we get the water to him, though?” Pav asks, looking at you again. You frown. “I… actually didn’t think that far.”
“Well, ‘at’s, easy. We just bust ‘em. Get ‘im to fly near one and,” Hobie makes an explosion noise and uses his hands to imitate an explosion. “What? But what about all the people who will lose water?” you ask, and Miles cocks his head to the side. “It’ll get fixed fast, probably. It’s our job to fuck shit up and then have other people fix it cause if we don’t fuck shit up, shit gets fucked anyways,” he says, and you sigh. “But Miguel said to try and not cause too much of an issue—”
“Oi. Who gives a flyin’ fuck what ‘e said. Not me. And this is my bloody world, I’ll cause as much damage as I want to,” Hobie says, and you look down. “Sorry.”
“You don’t gotta apologize for nothin’, mate,” Hobie says, and you mumble another ‘sorry.’ “You know what? I think Electro can wait a minute,” Hobie says, turning towards you, “More important matters to figure out ‘ere.”
“Like what?” you ask, and he shrugs. “Why are you so nervous?” he asks, and you gulp. “I-I’m not, I just—”
“You definitely are,” Gwen says, and Miles throws in a ‘yup!’ with a nod. “Is it us?” Pav asks, a hint of sadness in his voice. “W-What? No, that’s not it,” you say, waving your hands in a frantic way to say no. “I just am nervous in general. It really isn’t that big of a deal, guys, we should be focusing on—”
“Nope. You’re not gettin’ outta this, you been in ya ‘ead this ‘ole time.”
“I’m always in my head, it really isn’t that big of a deal—”
“Is ‘at why you try to avoid everyone? Don’t talk to no one?” Hobie asks, and you gulp. “I-I talk to some people…” you mumble, and a small frown forms on Gwen’s face. “The therapist in Spider Society doesn’t count,” she says, and you look down. “Well, why not…? He’s a person...”
“Because he’s like 40, and you’re our age,” Pav says, “you’d get along better with us, bro.”
“Miguel said that if anyone could make us not as ‘moronic’ it would be you, but I feel like he just kinda takes advantage of you instead of recognizing the pressure he puts on you. I have some experience with that,,” Miles says, and you sigh. “He scares me, okay? If I break the rules then I might simply pass away from him yelling at me,” you say, and Hobie shakes his head. “Love, the rules are all bollocks. Made by people who just wanna control your life.” Gwen nods. “Miguel is cool, sure, but if anyone can get away with anything… it’s you,” she says, and Miles chimes in. “And if you’re really that scared, remember he literally chased me around his world and destroyed a train because of me. You’ll never piss him off to that point.” You stay silent, playing with your fingers. Pav reaches out and grabs your hands. “Rules are meant to be broken, (Y/n), I learned that from Hobie. And besides, the villains we face are the biggest rule-breakers imaginable,” Pav assures, and you nod slightly. “And rules are such rubbish. ‘ey’re always different anywhere ya go. Try not to put so much weight on your mind ‘bout it, breakin’ ‘em ain’t a big deal,” Hobie says. You do actually kinda feel better. Hobie brings up a good point. Rules are different everywhere you go, so breaking one every now and again isn’t that big of an issue. In fact, it can be kind of encouraged. “Besides, breaking rules is almost like challenging ideologies, you know? Like, in breaking a rule, you challenge a system in place that is telling you not to break them. No one likes that. Where would we be if people didn’t break rules?” Gwen says. “That was deep,” Miles says, and Pav nods. “'at was a wicked way a’ puttin’ it, Gwendy.”
That’s a good point, actually. You think for a bit. If you look at it as challenging a system, or even doing what’s right, who’s to say it’s a rule that shouldn’t be broken? Hobie smiles underneath his mask because he knows they’ve gotten through to you. “So, whaddya say we go blow up some water tanks, eh?” Hobie stands, rubbing his hands together. “Okay,” you say. Gwen and Miles fist bump, and Pav does a little clap. The five of you jump into action, immediately starting to taunt and lure Electro to get him close to the towers so you can douse him and put him out.
The plan was going pretty well for the first two attempts, but he eventually catches on to what the five of you are doing. Which makes it harder. Miles does, in fact, get electrocuted. As does Gwen and Hobie, and coming in as no shock to anyone, Miles is definitely the least affected. You were able to dodge all of the attacks. “You’re doing great, (Y/n)! Mind telling me how the fuck your spidey sense is so strong?!” you hear Miles yell. “MILES LOOK OUT!” Gwen screams, but it’s too late. He gets electrocuted again. “Ouch, bro! That one looked like it hurt!” Pav yells, and Miles, who is now lying face down on a roof, raises his hand up in the air, flipping him off. You snort, and then see Hobie fly past you, landing on another water tower. “Hey! Dumbass! Over here!”
“Oh, please. You expect me to fall for that? I know what your little plan is, and I’m not about to be put out,” Electro says, firing some electricity out at Hobie. Unluckily for Hobie, it breaks the water tower and electrocutes him and the water that pours out of it.
You land next to Hobie, who is now just laying on the rooftop, but he grunts and mutters some British slang that you wouldn’t understand even if he explained it to you. So, you know he’s fine. “I have an idea,” you say, and he nods. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But we need to make sure no one is on the street.”
“What’s the goody-goody plannin’ on doin’, huh?” he says, standing. “You’ll see, just make sure there are no civilians or anyone who will get hurt. And keep him distracted.” With that, you leap and go to another one of the water towers. You take a deep breath, thinking back to what Miguel said before the five of you left.
“Try not to destroy the city while you’re at it. (Y/n), I trust you’ll keep them all in line,” Miguel said, and you timidly nod. You’d love to not destroy the city, but it’s so hard doing that as a Spider-Person. But you also don’t want him to yell at you for going against his orders. Now you’re conflicted. “No promises, Miguel. We’re gonna do what we gotta do,” Miles says and Miguel sighs. “If anyone can reign the four of you in, it’s this one. Don’t let them pressure you into acting up, okay?”
You frown. Fuck that. Miguel is pressuring you into not doing your job right. You can’t always be perfect and careful. And lucky for you, the four of them were really good at distracting villains. You web two of the support legs, yanking them and breaking them off the water tower. It starts collapsing, but you catch it. “Shit, you’re heavy,” you grunt, but regain your balance, holding it on your shoulders. You twist your body, ripping the other supports off and making the water tower completely free. You get Electro in your sight and take a deep breath. You lift the water tower, tossing it up in the air before leaping out of the way and towards Electro. You shoot webs from both hands, connecting them to the water tower and yanking it towards you. You swing it around, connecting it with Electro’s body. Sure enough, it knocks him down and explodes on impact, drenching him. And you. And Hobie, Miles, Gwen, and Pav; but hey, you did it.
You land on a roof and look down. Sure enough, Electro is knocked out cold and completely out of electricity. You swing down, placing him in one of the technological cells that Miguel developed specifically for Electros, and nod. “That… probably could have gone better,” you mutter to yourself. Your self-deprecating thoughts were cut off immediately. “That was AWESOME, (Y/n),” Gwen says, giving you a thumbs up and hug. “Yeah, little Spider, that was bitchin’,” Hobie says, giving you a fist bump. “You made it look so easy! How did you do that, you have to teach me!” Pav says, clearly excited and impressed. “You were out here talking about how you didn’t wanna break rules so instead you broke an entire water tower? That’s cool, why don’t you try being less cool next time for the sake of us,” Miles says giving you a pat on the shoulder. You smile. “Thanks, guys.” Their praise was enough to make you feel better for completely and totally wreaking havoc.
But when the five of you return, soaking wet, Miguel pinches the bridge of his nose. “I said… to not destroy the city…” he mutters, looking at you with disappointment. You look down. “City’s still standin’, mate. (Y/n) kicked ass,” Hobie says, and the other three make sounds of agreement. “Y-Yeah, Miguel. All I did was break one water tower, it’s not that big of a deal,” you say, and he sighs. “One? You all broke four water towers on four different buildings! And you flooded an entire street! You’re supposed to be the responsible one.”
“Dude. I’m a teenager. Shit happens,” you say, a sudden burst of confidence from being around the group of four allowing you to speak out. Miguel puts his hand on his jaw, sliding his hand down. “Remind me to never team the five of you up again,” he mumbles, and Hobie elbows you. “Nah, we’re a band now. Sorry ‘bout it,” Hobie says, motioning everyone to leave Miguel’s sight. You all follow. When you’re out of Miguel’s office, Hobie bumps your shoulder. “See, that wasn’t all that bad, was it?”
He was right, it wasn’t that bad.
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#spiderverse x reader#atsv x reader#hobie brown x reader#gwen stacy x reader#miles morales x reader#pavitr prabhakar x reader#spiderverse#spiderman#spiderpunk#spidergwen#hobie brown#gwen stacy#miles morales#pavitr prabhakar
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Hiiii,,
Im in a very angsty mood and was wondering if u could write charles x driver!reader where reader gets in a crash similar to jules’? Maybe have her in the hospital for a bit and charles is scared that he’ll lose her? Thanks ahead of time. Hope u have a nice day!
thanks for this request! I made the effort to write angst, since it is the first time I do it. I hope you like it!!
Fighter | cl16
Summary: where you have a serious accident on the track and Charles's memories of it aren't the most pleasant ones.
Warning: a little bit of angst, a worried and scared Charles, injured reader, some swearing.
a/n: This is the first time I've tried to write angst, so sorry if it's not quite perfect. There's going to be a little point of view from Charles. Let me know if you want a part two of this <3
Part 2
“Are you excited about the race, coeur?” Charles asks you as you enter the paddock. (heart)
You nod. “Yep! I think we can give Red Bull a good fight, and you? Are you excited?” you ask him as you stop to sign some autographs for the fans.
“As long as you don't pass my shiny red car on track, everything's fine.” He says and you roll your eyes with a smile, he giggles.
You two have been a couple for years, specifically since you were both racing in European F4, and although it took you a bit to get up to F1, you finally did it and this was your fifth season. You currently race for Mercedes and there is always that rivalry with the Prancing Horse, a rivalry which you both do not pay much attention to since, if it were up to you, you would support each other on the track as you do off track. You are the most loved and appreciated couple in the paddock, people love the dynamic of the two of you, how you are with each other and so on, and knowing each other from karting and then being a couple and staying together until now is not for everyone.
“Well, I think it's time, see you honey!” you said as you walked up to him to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Be safe, okay?”
“You too chérie!” He said as he also gave you a kiss on the cheek and you both walked to your respective teams. “Love you!”
You enter the Mercedes hospitality and go up to your driver's room and change into your racing suit and then go to the starting grid. Everyone was making the final preparations to start the race and the formation lap, you start in 4th position behind Fernando Alonso and in front of Esteban Ocon, maybe you have to make a good start, but you are confident that you can reach the podium together with Max —who starts first and Charles —who starts second... It's going to be a busy race.
***
So far the race is going well, already in the last part of the race, you are in third place fighting with Max for second place, there is a chance of rain but nothing to worry about...
Or at least that's what you thought...
The track began to get very wet even though it was a "light drizzle" and overtaking became a difficult task, likewise, no driver went into the pits to change tires and there was no warning from the FIA as to whether the drizzle was going to evolve into a storm.
Fighting with Max for second place, you got lost and the car took a turn until the nose was almost inside the net that separates the track from the stands, your head, despite having the helmet, was pushed back... You only remember the big impact against the barrier and your head going numb.
Charles' pov
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please tell me y/n is okay?” I tell my track engineer as I see Y/n's car under the barrier.
“Apparently not, but they say she's fine.” my engineer answers.
But of course she's not fine, fuck it, she's not fine at all. All the cars line up on the pit line while y/n's strong crash repeats on the screens of the circuit, I get out of the car upset and needing answers.
“Shit, shit shit. Why the hell didn't they report about the rain? They think this is a fucking game?” I say to myself as I take off my helmet and throw it somewhere in the box, Andrea hands me a bottle of water and I take it. “I don't understand, I... The same thing can't be repeated, fuck it.” I murmur as I place my head in my hands. “It's incredible that years go by and the same old fucking shit is always repeated, because of them and their inability.”
Upon hearing over the circuit loudspeakers that the race was not going to resume, Andrea takes me to the Ferrari hospitality and I go up to my driver's room where I change out of my racing suit for my Ferrari t-shirt and a pair of jeans, I don't mind going to the "podium" like that and standing in first place, I just need to know if she's okay.
A couple of years ago I lost important people thanks to the same reason: a racing accident, both were horrible accidents that left a mark on me but none like the one I just witnessed. First it was my sports godfather, Jules, his accident left me scarred for life, thanks to this a new safety device was implemented —which doesn't do much to be honest. He died thanks to an accident that left him in a coma for months... Every day I went with my father to the hospital to see him, to see if he was still with us. Then it was one of my childhood friends thanks to karting, Anthoine, It was in an F2 race on the same circuit where hours later I would take the pole position that would give me my first victory in F1, but what happened to him was instantaneous... The next day they announced that he had passed away, my first victory was dedicated to him.
Just as I'm on my way to the "podium" Fred and Toto pull me from the side. “They take y/n to the hospital.” Fred says looking at me.
“Shit... Fuck, why her? Damn tell me if she's...” I couldn't finish speaking because Toto interrupted me.
“Go with her kid.”
“We'll take care of the rest, but go with her.” Fred says, patting me on the back and I run to Andrea to look for my things in the hospitality so I can go, I feel frustrated with myself and I know it's not my fault, but I wish it hadn't happened to her.
***
The sterile white of the ceiling swims into focus as your blurry vision starts to clear a little but you can't fully open your eyes. A rhythmic beeping cuts through the silence of the room. You try to speak, but your throat feels raw and unused. Strained voices filter in from beside your bed.
“...How long has it been? Do they know anything yet?” says Charles with his voice tight with worry.
A female voice is heard, calm but firm. “Mr. Leclerc, we're doing everything we can. The doctors will be with you shortly to explain the results of the scans.”
”But it's been hours!” says Charles with cracked voice. ”Can't they just tell me if she's going to be fucking alright?”
You hear the soft rustle of clothing and a sigh. The beeping quickens slightly.
“We're doing everything we can, dear. She's a strong girl.” The nurse says leaving the room.
He squeezes your hand again, his voice dropping to a frustrated whisper. His eyes don't leave your face.
“Just like Jules... just like Anthoine... why does this always happen? Why you my dear?” he says to himself. “I wish... I wish it had been me and not you amore.”
The door creaks open and the doctor enters the room. Charles straightens up, a flicker of hope in his eyes.
“Doctor, you have an update?” Charles asks.
“We've run some additional tests. There seems to be a minor head injury causing some swelling. It's putting pressure on...”
Charles doesn't wait for him to finish. “Is it serious? When will she wake up?”
The doctor sighs. “It's difficult to say for sure, Mr. Leclerc. Head injuries are unpredictable. But we're monitoring her closely.”
Charles lets out a defeated sigh. The doctor places a hand on his arm.
“She's a fighter, Mr. Leclerc. Just like you.” The doctor says and then leaves the room and gives way to the nurse.
Charles manages a weak nod, his gaze returning to your still form. He leans closer, his voice barely a whisper.
“Come on y/n, wake up. We have a race to win... together.” he whispers.
A faint flicker of movement beneath your eyelids goes unnoticed by everyone in the room. A single tear rolls down your cheek, tracing a path through the dust collected on your hospital gown. The faint movement under your eyelids becomes more pronounced. Your brow furrows slightly, as if struggling against the weight of unconsciousness. A soft groan escapes your lips.
Charles' head snaps up, his eyes widening in disbelief. He leans in closer, his voice thick with emotion.
”Y/n? Can you hear me love?” Charles says whispering.
Your eyes flutter open, blurry and disoriented. The harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital room assault your vision. You let out a low moan, squeezing your eyes shut again in protest.
“Hey, hey, easy. It's okay, you're safe, you're in the hospital.” he says urgently.
A wave of nausea washes over you. You try to speak, but your throat feels raw and scratchy. ”Charles...?” you say weakly.
Your voice comes out in a hoarse rasp, it's barely a whisper, but to Charles, it's the sweetest sound in the world. A relieved smile breaks across his face.
“There you are! Don't you ever scare me like that again, okay?” His voice slightly breaks.
He reaches out and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is warm and comforting, the nurse speaks.
“How are you feeling y/n?” the nurse asked softly.
You try to lift your head, but a sharp pain shoots through it. You wince and let out a small cry.
“Easy, easy, don't try to move princess.” he says concerned.
“What... What happened Charles?” you said with a little confusion in your voice.
“You had a big crash during the race, don't you remember?” he asked softly.
You shake your head slowly, wincing again. Images flash in your mind — the roar of the engine, the blur of the track, the sickening impact...
“The car... The rain... I... I lost control” you whisper.
Tears well up in your eyes, the memory of the crash is terrifyingly vivid. Charles takes your hand in his, his grip strong and reassuring.
“It's okay love, you're okay now. That's all that matters.” he whispers.
He squeezes your hand gently, a silent promise hanging between you. The ordeal is far from over, but for now, the simple act of holding hands speaks volumes. You've survived the crash, and with Charles by your side, you'll face whatever comes next, together. You manage a weak smile at him, the sound of his voice a grounding presence. However, the celebration is short-lived. A dull ache throbs behind your eyes, intensifying with each passing second. You squeeze your temples shut, trying to push the pain back.
“Hey, what's wrong?” he asks, noticing your discomfort.
You open your eyes, a grimace forming on your face. “My head... it feels like it's splitting open.”
The nurse step forward. “That's normal after a head injury, dear. We gave you some pain medication earlier, but it might be wearing off... Let me check your vitals again, okay?”
The nurse bustles around you, taking your temperature and blood pressure. Charles doesn't take his eyes off you, his concern evident.
“Is it serious? Should they give you more medicine?” Charles asked.
“Let's see how she's doing first... Y/n, can you turn your head for me, please? Slowly, to the left and then the right.”
You try as instructed, but a searing pain shoots through your neck, making you flinch and cry out. Tears well up in your eyes again, a mix of frustration and fear.
”See? She can't even move her neck! There's something wrong!” Charles says quite alarmed and almost furious.
“It's alright, Charles. It's likely just muscle stiffness from the impact. We can give her some medication and a neck brace for support.” The nurse says calmly.
“Will I ever be able to race again?” you say a little worried with a trembling voice.
The question hangs heavy in the air, Charles reaches out and strokes your cheek gently. ”Don't worry about racing right now, you need to focus on getting better. We'll figure out the rest later.”
His voice is firm, but his eyes hold a flicker of worry. He knows how much racing means to you... For both of you it is the most important thing in your lives, but now that is in the background.
”Exactly... Right now, rest is the most important thing. We'll get you the medication you need, and we'll monitor your progress closely.” The nurse says as she looks for medicine and the neck brace.
The nurse injects a new pain medication into your IV. The relief is slow, but it gradually takes the edge off the throbbing in your head. The nurse places the neck brace on you, although it needs to be tight, as this prevents neck mobility. You lean back against the pillows, exhaustion washing over you.
“Get some sleep, love. You'll feel better I promise.” he smiles weakly.
You nod weakly, your eyelids drooping. Despite the pain and uncertainty, a sliver of hope flickers within you. You're surrounded by love and support, and that makes all the difference.
As you drift off to sleep, you hear Charles whisper a promise in your ear.
“Everything will be okay baby, I promise... Just stay here with me, okay?” He says and you give a slight thumbs up, you feel your whole body weak and destroyed.
The road to recovery will be long and arduous, but with Charles by your side, you know you can face it head-on, even with a throbbing head and a stiff neck.
The fear of not racing again persists in you, but obviously it is not something you can control, Besides, you don't know exactly if you will spend months off the track. What you do know with great certainty is that you have Charles' constant support and that is enough for you.
#formula one x reader#f1 x you#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles x reader#charles leclerc#charles x you#mariclerc fics#charles x reader driver
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summary after a day of patroll, ellie come back into your arms
pairing ellie williams, fem!reader
intentional lowercase, +18
☆
"how was patroll?" you asked from the bed, watching ellie come out of the bathroom, pearls of water falling down her hair. she shook her head like a dog, laughing as droplets fell on your face.
"good, i guess" she crawled to where you were, your legs covered by the blanket "we found some canned food, and an old gossip magazine"
"really?" she nodded, sitting by your side and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear "can i see them?"
ellie laughed at your excitement. she was very familiar with your fascination about learning what the world was like before, how people behaved and what they talked about. Ellie wasn't as interested, but enjoyed listening to you talk about anything.
she pretended to forget to tell you that the magazines were picked up especially for you "sure, you can keep them"
"i wish i was there"
she smiled, not wanting to talk about gossip magazines but about you, looking at your face, caressing your cheek "i like you here, where you are safe" ellie moved closer "i missed you"
you leaned in her hand, enjoying her touch "i missed you too" you couldn't help but smile at seeing her, seeing her safe, by your side.
you hated patroll days. you spend the day worrying, not being able to concentrate on your responsibilities and imagining terrible scenarios where ellie doesn't come home.
but she always does, doing her best out there just for you.
after a few seconds, you feel her lips in yours. her kiss is slow and delicate, trying to demonstrate you all the things she is unable to say. you lean towards her body, your hand grabbing her arm, looking for support.
you feel her tiredness in her movements, slows and lazy, it's grip losing strength as the seconds pass by.
"we should go to sleep" you murmured when you saw what direction her kiss was taking "you must be tired" you say, a weak whimper coming out of your mouth, the sound of saliva and lips hitting eachothers echoes in the room.
she groaned and grabbed your neck, kissing you more deeply "im not tired" her tongue assaulted your mouth, making you part your lips to welcome her sweetness.
except that she was tired. she was so damn tired that all her muscles felt numb. she wanted to sleep for a couple of good hours –or days but she also wanted to be with you, doing whatever.
"ellie" you whispered, your words dying in her kiss "it's late" you could hear her agitated breath, her getting more desperate "you should rest" you wanted this as much as her, but you knew that the next day ellie has to go to patroll again until late hours, and you didn't want to be the reason of her lack of sleep.
but ellie was ellie, and she didn't gave up easily. her lips traced a path to your jaw, leaving kisses as clues "can you just shut up and let me fuck you?" she murmured and you gave up, her mouth licking and bitting the skin of your neck. you moaned softly as her hands cupped your breast over the shirt –her shirt— and she start massages them. her touch is hard and possesive, making your tits hurt in pleasure, showing how needy she is.
your hands caressed the back of her neck, your breathing getting louder the moment she grabs the hem of your shirt, lifting it up to take it off your body. she quickly spread her legs to position you in between them, your naked back facing her chest.
ellie tossed her arm over your neck, grabbing your shoulder and pressing your body against her, leaving you immobilized "i really mean it when i said that i missed you today" she says in your ear, her free hand caressing your torso, playing with your nipples as you watch "did you miss me?"
you nod, watching her hand go lower "i missed you too ellie" your voice high pitched as she cup your cunt over your panties.
your whimper when she start making little circles in your clit, feeling your underwear become wet with just a little touch. she spreads your legs and locks them with her own to keep you still and open to her.
her fingers move your underwear to the side, finally making contact with your heat. you inhale deeply when she drags her finger in your folds, collecting all the wetness and spreading it in your clit, filthy sounds fill the room.
ellie's movements are not slow and lazy anymore, her grip in your shoulders is strong and hee fingers move with decision, making you feel like only she knows. she smiles to herself when you drop your head on her shoulder and start to play with your nipples unconsciously, enjoying yourself.
your moans get louder and louder as ellie trace circles on your clit, pressing from time to time, teasing you. you feel her wet mouth in your neck one more time, bitting and kissing after, her moaning softly at your reaction.
something about you being almost naked and ellie being fully clothed get you off, driving you to the edge. she put a finger inside you and start pumping in and out, tearing desperate moans from you "you like that?" she murmure and you nod
you feel her finger curl inside and you have to grab her arm for support, your breast moving slightly at her thrusts "ellie..." you whine.
"tell me what you need" she says "ellie" you continue, too lost in pleasure to even understand a word of what she is saying. ellie decides to add another finger and watch how your cunt swallows her digits with a wet sound, feeling your walls get tight with every thrust. she moves faster and in a matter of seconds you are moaning and whining her name.
"im here" she says, "im the one fingering you babe" she says in a chuckle, her pace not getting any slower "fuck off" you replied laughing and moaning at the same time. ellie leaves a kiss in your head and curls her fingers.
"im... ellie..." your voice is getting desperate, your lip almost bleeding by how hard you are bitting it "i can't"
"you can handle it" ellie gets deeper "cum for me"
your body paralyze when you reach your climax, quickly grabbing ellie's hand to stop her movements, your cunt over stimulated. ellie admires her shiny fingers covered in you, and without a doubt shove them in her mouth, cleaning them with her tongue. you are too occupied with your recent orgasm to react, your head falling in ellie's neck and your body curling into her's.
she takes off her hoodie to put it on you, your limp body obeying her and receiving the warmth of her clothes. she leaves a kiss in your forehead and tucks you under the sheets next to her body, your head on her chest "you are the one who is tired now" she says
"i can't imagine why" you murmur, your eyes half close, relaxing into her warmth "don't forget about that magazines"
she laughed and hugged you more into her "i will not forget you freak" you smiled into her chest "you are obsessed with those people"
"obviously" the cloud of sleep started to posses you "can you imagine not having to hunt to eat?"
"no"
"exactly" you said in a yawn.
#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams#tlou#tlou2#the last of us#ellie williams x reade#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader
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Can you please make more Remy LeBeau content? I love that little Cajun man so much! Please and Thank you!
Remy LeBeau x male reader
Headcanons
I’ve had this plot idea for a while, so im gonna try to shake it out my system. I know very little about Cajun culture, European here, so take it with a grain of salt. Sorry for the lack of posting, classes have already been beating me up and I literally just started.
You were your average Cajun kid when you met Remy, back when he still ran with the thief’s guild and before he was adopted by Jean-Luc.
You were a bit of a stereotype when it came to New Orleans Cajun kids. You liked to cause trouble, you liked to party, you liked to hunt frogs at night and spearfish Gar when there were no frogs. And damn did you like messing with the gators. All your messing around did make you lose your pinky on your right hand, but it didn’t stop you.
You were no mutant, but you might as well have been with all the stuff you got into. You always claimed it was just your Cajun roots that kept you immortal.
That was how you met Remy, through all your troublemaking. Youd just shoved one of your friends bullies into the swamp near your neighborhood, and immediately legged it, knowing his brothers would feed you to the gators if they got the chance.
That’s how you end up running right into Remy, sending you both skittering across the ground. Before he could say anything though, you just grad his wrist with your four fingered hand and drag him along, cackling as the bullies’ brothers try and catch you.
The two of you end up in a completely different neighborhood, hiding under somebodies porch as you try not to snicker as the older boys run right past, cursing up a storm about the “gator bait” getting away. And yes, that was what people called you in your neighborhood, because of your hand.
Remy had expected you to immediately fear him or become disgusted at the sight of his eyes. But instead, you just told him they were cool as fuck and you wished your eyes were like that.
After hiding for a while, the two of you split up to go about your lives. But you end up bumping into each other quite a lot, since you both just like to wander. That’s how you two end up becoming friends, even as hes part of the thieves guild.
You end up dragging him to your house too where he meets your mother. Your dad wasn’t around anymore, he drowned when you were a baby, but your mom said you had his fire and lack of self-preservation.
To Remys shock, your mom didn’t mind his eyes either, just accepting him in with a kind but tired smile. He later learns your mom works two or three jobs depending on the season to keep you guys fed, which is why you have so much time to run around.
You two keep growing up together, even if there at times is distance for different reasons. You keep causing trouble, but get better at hiding it, you become real good at figuring out the area, the waters, the people and animals, so on and so forth.
This helps you get your first job as a guide for tourists. You don’t really like it, but they tip you pretty well. You use that money to take Remy out for sno-balls, or rather, its you going in to get them, so you guys can eat them on your backyard porch.
You both gained a lot of scars over the years from the different lives you lived. Youd never asked Remy about the guild, and he never really asked too much about the different scars on your arms and legs he was sure came from a knife and not fishing wire.
It was also on that porch you guys shared your first kiss. It was clumsy, uncomfortable, your lips stained blue as his were green, from the thick sugary syrups used on the sno-balls. But it was still the best kiss either of you could have imagined.
You two never got to explore too deeply what your relationship meant. one week Remy was more distant than usual, before he suddenly showed up at your place, looking worse to wear, telling you he needed to get out of New Orleans.
You weren’t gonna question him, so you packed him into your truck and just started driving. The entire time he clung to your hand, looking at you so intensely, like hed never see you again. But you tried to keep the mood light, joking as usual and playing your favorite music.
The goodbye was one of the hardest things in your lives. You even told Remy you’d leave him with, ready to leave it all behind to stay by his side, wherever he would go. But Remy knew you had a life here, you had your mom, a good job, other friends, he couldn’t ask that of you.
So, in the end, Remy simply kissed you goodbye, and said he hoped you two would meet again. And disappeared into the night, like something out of a dream.
A couple of hours passed before you decided to drive back home. You smoked through an entire pack of cigarettes, so tempted to also empty the bottle of alcohol you hid under the seat in your truck. But you also knew you needed to return to your mom.
So with one final longing glance in the direction Remy disappeared, you turned back around and drove back home, New Orleans feeling less vibrant and lively than usual.
It would be years before you two meet again, and even then, it had been an accident.
You had left New Orleans behind after Remy left, your mom passed away, and nothing really kept you there without either of them. It took a while before you finally settled down in New York. It wasn’t the same as where you grew up, but it was good enough for now. And if nothing worked, you could just go back to Louisiana and live in a small shed, where you’d spend your days catching fish.
What brought you together, was that your neighbors kid developed their mutation. Something they couldn’t hide, their eyes so different they couldn’t even use contacts as an excuse.
If their parents had been kind, hadn’t been so openly ex-mutant, you might not have done anything. But you’d heard rumors of Charles Xavier, and how his school helped Mutants like that.
So, you packed your neighbors kid into your truck, the same you’d driven Remy in, with what they needed to bring, and drove them there. Like the ride with Remy, you tried to keep the mood light, hoping to just keep it all from falling apart.
It took some time to get to the school, through whatever security they had, and to the front door. Part of you feared it was the wrong place, until the guy who’d spoken to you over the security comm stepped out. That visor made it pretty clear he wasn’t just your average joe.
Normally you’d have left it at that, leaving the kid with people who knew what they were talking about and doing. But they were too scared to be alone, and after some scowling from a guy that looked like a hairy homeless guy, you were allowed in.
Your thick accent seemed to gain some positive or funny reactions, that same hairy guy from before grumbling “another Cajun”. But you were mainly focused on getting the kid settled.
Of course, until you heard a familiar voice, laying his usual flirts on thick with somebody. Remy was still as handsome as when you last saw him, though a little older, but so were you. The kid was introduced to him, and the two already seemed to bond over their eyes being their main visual of their mutation.
“They reminded me of you, maybe that’s why I felt so protective” you just throw out there, hands in your pockets as you shrugged, your voice immediately catching Remy’s attention, who seemed as shocked to see you as you were him.
It was clear you two knew each other, and that emotional look in your eyes had the others shuffling off to keep showing the kid around, as you two were left alone.
You two go out back to sit on the porch of the mansion. It wasn’t the same as in New Orleans, but it still had your heart racing. It was awkward for a moment, you two sharing what you’d been up too since you last saw each other.
With you, Remy didn’t need to put on the plays like usual, he could just be Remy LeBeau and nobody else, and holding your hand with only four fingers in his own laid to rest some of the pain that had been present for years.
You two didn’t immediately start dating or anything. It was more returning to what was before, without all the stealing and trouble you two used to get into. At least, not to the same degree. But it built at a comfortable pace.
You became an honorary visitor of the mansion, since the kid you brought there still felt quite attached, but also for Remy. You were also able to worm your way into the hearts of the other x-men, some quicker than others, but you did it anyways.
Remy spent a lot of time at your place too, and he even helped you move when you moved just a bit closer to the x-men.
Neither of you could really tell when it went from deep pining to dating. One moment you guys just finally started kissing. The cuddling, sharing clothes and many other things that came with a relationship was something you already did, so the kissing was truly the last part missing.
You do end up having to learn better self-defense, being close to the x-men like that. But for Remy you’d do anything, even doing stretches that have your legs screaming since you aren’t used to bend like that.
#male reader#remy lebeau#gambit#xmen#x-men#x men#marvel#remy lebeau imagine#remy lebeau x reader#remy lebeau headcanon#remy lebeau x male reader#gambit x reader#gambit x male reader#gambit imagine#gambit headcanon#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#x-men imagine#xmen imagine#xmen headcanon#x men imagine#x men headcanon#x-men headcanon#x-men x reader#x-men x male reader#xmen x reader#xmen x male reader#x men x reader
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I was rereading some of your fics and got inspired so please hear me out🙏
Reader being college!sukunas pretty little gf but going through a bit of a insecure phase. Having to wonder if sukuna using her for her body. While also having to endure people trying to flirt with him at every party (sukuna has never and would never flirt or cheat but since reader is going through something, she's obviously bothered)
This continues for a few weeks, reader brings it up but sukuna always gets annoyed and shuts it down(Sukuna and reader both not knowing how to efficiently communicate). Reader's insecurity is kind of building up😕 so atp shes debating whether to break up with him because shes just so tired of feeling like she's not enough.
One night reader gets drunk during a night out with maki and nobara so they have to call him to go pick her up. Sukunas kind of mad since she hasn't called or texted him all day so he calls her out on it while driving home. Reader being a emotional drunk decides its the perfect time to unleash how she feels. Sukuna listens to her and starts worrying when reader very briefly mentions a break up. So when they get home sukuna gets her to spill the beans before she knocks out. Meanwhile sukuna spends all night thinking about how to reassure reader that he loves her (he doesn't want to lose her😭)
Next morning reader wakes up in his arms and he tells her he wants to talk about what happened last night now that shes sober. So they have a serious talk about it (tears were definitely shed)
Edit: THIS WRITING WAS GNARLY IM SO SORRY😭i had a vision but i couldn't put it into words correctly. i gave up near the end but i kind of just wanted to hear your thoughts😖
AWWWW THIS IS SO ADORABLE FR
i love the angst and happy ending, always 😘😘😘 it hurts so good </3 just them being so unsure of each other and what to do, even if its clear that they both are so deeply in love <3
very relevant angst bc someone like sukuna would find it very difficult to understand what it feels to be insecure... it makes you wonder how much patience he could have for someone who is intensely insecure (me)
anyway i can imagine drunk reader being a sobbing, bumbling mess when shes at home with him, talking in a way thats barely comprehensible, weeping in between sentences and sukuna just not knowing what to do with you except wipe your tears away (he'd call you cute if you weren't actually so upset) but then you mention that maybe its better off if the two of you break up, which wipes the smile off his face
imagine him wracking his brains at night while he observes your sleeping face, not knowing what to do... he'd never thought that what he was doing now wasn't enough in making you feel secure with him and that he was making you so unhappy
maybe what you need is more verbal affirmation, bc sukuna is so action oriented, he realises he doesn't nearly as often tell you that he loves you and only uses gestures to show it instead.
idk this might be corny but imagine you and him practicing saying 'i love you' while sitting face to face, holding hands, and for the first time you see his ears get pink, its certainly not something he says often. you bursting into laughter at the stiff way he says it makes him even more bashful.
"stop fucking laughing! it's your turn now, hurry up."
but when you say it, it sounds so natural and genuine and sweet, even when you're saying it in between laughs. it makes him wonder how you're doing it.
anyway, seeing sukuna's ears get so pink and seeing how awkward he is for a change, is strangely healing to you and probably helps you gain some confidence back bc who else could incur such feelings in him other than you?? especially when he usually has such an idgaf attitude :)
#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#thank you for sending this in <3#poe answers
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