vaguereviews
275 posts
vague reviews of books I read at some point
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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St. Martin's Day celebration - ' Marius' Alexander Jacques Bauer , 1892-93.
Dutch , 1867-1932
Oil on canvas , 59.0 x 46.5 cm,
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.
The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.
You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.
As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.
The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.
On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.
You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.
Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."
This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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I feel like JC has some weird gender shit going on. Not even in the normal sense; in the ‘assigned ruined woman by the narrative’ sense. Like. Wow. JC, you really gonna get called childhood sweethearts with your rogueish evil shixiong? JC, you really gonna be left alone with naught but a single child, a widow in all but name? Wangji is out there trying to assign himself widower vibes but JC is getting constant woman scorned and wronged wife energies forced upon him from get-go.
Even his father was like *looking at an eight year old* “I see my nagging wife in you”
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING
his parents really took a glance at that toddler and decided to project the most unhinged gender possible on him. JC, assigned neglected wife at birth.
JC performs it so conscientiously too! It's so so so important to how he is with WWX and how he views himself. 9yo JC after he's known WWX: "there he is. the cad that will break my heart." and can't ever everrrrrr stop loving WWX or break away from the utter grip WWX has on him. JC has known since before WWX came into his life that he was made to be neglected/scorned, by the person supposed to stand by his side and to whom he's supposed to be loyal.
Also lmao at the left with a child thing. It's totally that, except JC WISHES he was a widow!!! He's not even granted that dignity by society! But nah he's the ruined woman who was seduced and abandoned by someone who promised her marriage and then went off and died after making her look for a fool, while she was making excuses for him, and everyone knows what a chump JC was for it! Was WWX lying all along? Was is ever even real ?
(JC gets the answer to that question when WWX breaks it off at the temple by telling him nah, it was only duty to JC's family that made stick by JC's side. Probably not how WWX meant it! But wow, way to put it the least personal possible way. WWX's most intimate organ in JC's body had nothing to do with feelings for JC or JC as a person. Way to make sure JC never, ever reaches out for fear of being that nagging, clingy, shrewish, needy embarrassment of a person)
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Do You Remember? | Tom Cardy
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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ok, unfollowing now. was a big fan of his automail arm, didn't know he committed alchemy's greatest taboo
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Shenanigans in the Grimmauld Place Library
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Who Wants a Non-Hessian German Troops of the American Revolution Uniform Identification Flow Chart?
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Now you too can roleplay as a harried British staff officer trying to identify which troops are encamped where, or a devious rebel spy collecting intelligence.
As folks may or may not know, only roughly 50% of the German state troops who served the British Crown during the American Revolution were “Hessians” from Hesse-Cassel. There were six other states that provided “subsidy troops.” Here’s how to tell them apart at a glance.
Are their uniforms predominantly dark blue? If yes, go to the paragraph numbered 4. If no, go to the para numbered 2.
2. Are their uniforms predominantly white? If no, go to the para numbered 3. If yes, those are troops from Anhalt-Zerbst. The only German state involved in the war to take its uniform and organisational cues from Austria rather than Prussia, the single Anhalt-Zerbst line regiment deployed to America wore white regimental coats faced with red. Their grenadiers wore bearskins rather than metal-faced caps (the only other German state to do this was Waldeck). One battalion also, according to one shocked British officer, had one of the most outrageous-looking uniforms of the war, including hussar hats, red and yellow waist sashes and red cloaks - these may have been “pandour” irregulars from the edges of the Austrian empire.
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3. The coats are neither white nor blue, so they must be red. In this case, the troops are Hanoverian. While still mostly following Prussian style, because they shared a ruler with Britain, Hanoverian troops wore red. Five Hanoverian regiments assisted Britain with vital Mediterranean defence during the American Revolution, before going on to fight in India. They were the only redcoat Germans fighting for the Crown outside the British Army.
4. Your Germans are wearing blue coats. Are the buttons on the coat lapels arranged 1-2-1, and do the cuffs have a “Swedish” style slit to them? If no, go to the para numbered 5. If yes, they’re from Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel. Brunswick provided the most soldiers after Hesse-Cassel, and arguably the most rounded force, with four line regiments, one dragoon regiment, one grenadier battalion and one light infantry battalion. But whether jäger, musketeers or grenadiers, they almost all had coat buttons in groups of 1-2-1 and the slit-style cuffs. Fun fact; the Brunswick crest of a racing white horse on a red field was the same as neighbouring Hanover’s.
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5. Your Germans are wearing blue, but don’t have buttons in 1-2-1 and Swedish cuffs. Do they have yellow facings, and cuffs with buttons placed both horizontally and vertically? If no, go to the para numbered 6. If yes, they are from Waldeck. This German state usually provided troops for the Dutch, but raised a new unit, the 3rd English-Waldeck Regiment, for service in America. They mostly fought against the Spanish in the Deep South, where they were decimated by disease. If the unusual position of the buttons on the cuff isn’t enough, look for the belt plate bearing “FF” for “Fuerst Friedrich,” the state’s ruler.
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6. Do your blue Germans have red facings, cocked hats and unusual lace on their coats, shaped like a figure-of-eight? If no, go to the para numbered 7. If yes, they’re from Hesse-Hanau. This state was closely related (in the sense of its ruler, literally) to Hesse-Cassel, yet remained independent. While it provided a small amount of artillery, jägers and freikorps light infantry, its main contribution was a single line regiment, Erbprinz. Their distinctive features were scalloped lace on their cocked hats and the figure-of-eight “Brandenburg” style lace. There was also a Hesse-Cassel Regiment Erbprinz (even sharing the same colonel-in-chief), but they were fusiliers with caps rather than the Hesse-Hanau musketeers with their cocked hats. Check the mistake made by this artwork - these are Hesse-Hanau soldiers from the Infanterie Regiment Erbprinz, but they’re wearing Cassel fusilier caps. Bonus fact; Hanau and Cassel’s crest both features a rampant lion with red and white stripes, but there are subtle differences - they face opposite directions, the style of stripes are slightly different, and the Hanau lion lacks the Cassel one’s crown, but does wield a sword.
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7. Do your blue-coated Germans have a black eagle on their flags and grenadier cap plates? If no, they’re probably from Hesse-Cassel. If yes, they’re from Ansbach-Bayreuth. This German state consisted of two provinces, Ansbach and Bayreuth (funny that). Besides jägers and some battalion guns, their main contribution was two infantry regiments, one from each of the two provinces. Their ruler’s crest was a black eagle, similar to the Prussian one.
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Of course these posts don’t account for the uniforms of the jäger corps, or musicians, or any artillery, but it can serve as a rough guide. For the proper detail, you’ll have to buy my forthcoming book on the topic!
Also would be pretty cool if someone made an actual flow chart out of this, just saying!
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Was schlimm ist
Wenn man kein Englisch kann, von einem guten englischen Kriminalroman zu hören, der nicht ins Deutsche übersetzt ist.
Bei Hitze ein Bier sehn, das man nicht bezahlen kann.
Einen neuen Gedanken haben, den man nicht in einen Hölderlinvers einwickeln kann, wie es die Professoren tun.
Nachts auf Reisen Wellen schlagen hören und sich sagen, daß sie das immer tun.
Sehr schlimm: eingeladen sein, wenn zu Hause die Räume stiller, der Café besser und keine Unterhaltung nötig ist.
Am schlimmsten: nicht im Sommer sterben, wenn alles hell ist und die Erde für Spaten leicht.
--Gottfried Benn
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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i have fantasies where i slowly choke him with a spiky rope until hes just on the brink of death and i let him recover a minute before i go at it again and i do that over and over and over again until his body shuts down from exhaustion and then i feed his body to my backyard chickens for dinner ♡ #reducereuserecycle
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Buster Makes An Entrance
Music: Here You Come Again by Dolly Parton
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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My plan for the public transit system is to make bus drivers into a sort of holyman whose role is cherished in society. Then we give them access to all the ecstasy they want and they're expected to take it on the job.
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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And he marries Cathy to his son, so that Catherine finally marries Heathcliff, (but at the same time his son is more Linton than Heathcliff, so her choice to marry Linton stands...)
Heathcliff’s revenge is great because the punishment fits the “crime”. He gets these two families’ estates as they are the symbols of their status and their power yes, but it goes further than that. Hindley demoted his status and deprived him of education so Heathcliff does the same to his son. Edgar “took” Catherine from him so Heathcliff owns and has authority over the women in his family.
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Dieese Haushälterin steckt ihre Nase auch überall rein, ned?
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Yeah, that’s pretty much it.
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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vaguereviews · 1 year ago
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Korrekt
Gibt es denn schon ne 'offizielle' Petition?
"Klimafreundlich, unkompliziert und günstig mit Bus und Bahn unterwegs sein – das bedeutet das 49-Euro-Ticket für Millionen Menschen in Deutschland. Doch damit könnte bald Schluss sein. Verkehrsminister Volker Wissing (FDP) will für das Erfolgsprojekt die nötigen Finanzmittel nicht mehr bereitstellen. Mach ihm jetzt klar: Das 49-Euro-Ticket muss bleiben!"
Hey Leute, habt ihr zwei Minuten? Dann unterzeichnet doch bitte eben kurz. 🙏😁 Dankeschöön!!
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