#can you tell i’m really fucking upset
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr’s website traffic is steadily declining.
Text
i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gawd I’m. it’s 4:20am and I’ve been listening to exclusively the new 21 savage album since it dropped last night and I’m thinking abt my ocs . And spacewaffles I suppose
#RRRGG I can never get Bacon’s colors right but it’s ok!!!#it’s sooo okay and fine I’m deffo not upset abt it ^_^#lifesteal smp#baconnwaffles0#planetlord#oc: Corduroy#im so proud of the name Corduroy I really like it . need to flesh out her character more <33#UGH ok I dislike how Planet’s head/hair looks and Bacon’s hair is too fucking saturated AND you can’t tell that’s it’s braids !!!#Corduroy looks fine. love you Corduroy <333#according to procreate I spent 2.5 hours on this OHGG MY GOD WHYYY#ok caption true tho new 21 kinda awesome#my favorites so far r see the real and uhh#wait hold on#and just like me . special mention should’ve wore a bonnet . THAT song takes me straight back to middle school and swing screen doors <3333#AND ICE POPS AND WATER BALLON FIGHTS that we were allowed to start past 7pm cuz parents would make us clean up and we had school#damn. I love music#ok bye I’ve been here for long enough and i probs need to sleep lol#nox art
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is so vitally important to me that aziraphale and crowley not only love each other but choose to love each other.
i don’t want it to be fate. i don’t want it to be god’s will. i want it to be a conscious and continuous choice.
i want aziraphale choosing every day of his goddamn existence to love crowley and all that he is. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley not in spite of being a demon, but because he is a demon. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley’s curiosity and creative wonder. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley’s love of plants and gardening.
i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s passion for books. i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s desire to do things the human way even if he could just miracle it. i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s angel-ness because it is a fundamental part of him.
i want aziraphale choosing to love everything about crowley and vise versa. and i want it to be a very conscious and intentional choice.
it being fate negates the entire point of the story. good omens is a love story between an angel and a demon, yes. but that’s not all that it is. it’s a story about two occult/ethereal beings who choose humanity over the great plan. two beings who choose the world over armageddon. and they make those choices because despite it all they have chosen to fall in love with the world and with humanity.
it only makes sense that they choose each other. that they choose their love. it being fate or god’s will ruins the foundational pillar of their relationship. that they choose each other over and over and over again. year after year, century after century, time and time again. they always choose. they choose the arrangement, they choose saving the other from harm, they choose lying to protect the other.
it is always a choice. and it better stay a choice or i am going to be so devastated.
#look i’m good with most anything for s3#as long as they end up in the south downs & hug at least once i will be happy#but this is one thing that isn’t necessarily a need but more like a deep rooted desire that will break me if not met#like if it’s all ‘haha this was god’s plan all along’ i will be so upset#disappointed even#because neil can do better than that#he’s a better writer than that#not to mention it makes absolutely no sense in the context of the story#like i understand how it’s fun to play around with ‘they were made for each other’#but i really want them to choose each other despite everything#because if i’m being honest it’s one of the things about aziracrow that feels fundamentally queer#to say ‘yeah fuck that’ to what the systems in power tell you you should act like#or who you should love and care for#and instead say ‘i choose this’ ‘i choose you’ to the people and things that actually fulfill you#that is powerful and that is foundational to queerness and queer liberation in my opinion#it’s not about fate or being made for whatever#it’s saying ‘i don’t care if it’s fate or the divine plan or not. it just is and you can’t change the fact that it simply /is/.’#and maybe that’s just me#but it sure as hell makes sense in my mind#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#good omens 2#ineffable wives#neil gaiman#good omens meta#aziracrow meta#gomens meta
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
i had a dream that would’ve been SUCH a good fic idea—it played out in my mind like a movie, almost every detail—but i don’t have the skill set to write ittttt
#graveyardtxt#the best way i can describe it is that during an alien attack—sonic and co lost and were taken back to their planet#they were held captive in some kind of lab. they had pretty shitty sleeping arrangements and were experimented on and tested almost daily#for as bad as they were treated. the location itself was actually really cool looking-#tails and espio were actually the main characters (along with amy as a sort of supporting character)#one of the most vivd scenes was sonic walked past their room and seeing amy looking on tails’s bed#only for tails to just walk into the room like “i’m fine you’re worrying about nothing’’ like okay little man where did you come from????#only for amy to tell him “tails never came back last night’’#also sonic was a fucking mess. his ass did not care remotely#near the end. tails and espio ended up secretly staying behind while everyone left#eventually amy returned to help them and when tails asked how sonic reacted to the info that he hadn’t returned to mobius#amy said that sonic just stared at her and run off#MY HEART DUDE. I DIDNT KNOW MY HEART COULD BE BROKEN LIKE THAT IN A DREAM#it sounds so lame when i explain it like this BUT IT WAS SO COOL AND I WISH I COULD DO IT JUSTICE AAAAAAAAAA#so upset dude i didn’t want it to enddddd#i gotta write this down in more detail
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorta ? happy rant but still a rant below.
I’m so happy it happened and I don’t feel good about how much happier I feel but I feel so much happier ! and healthy ngl and it’s taking time and there are good parts and bad parts but overall I’m so glad we’re over because it was so unhealthy I couldn’t see it and I feel better now. And I know not all of it is good for me and I need to find more people to connect with and be friends with irl but cutting off the bad ones helps that so much I think. I’ve noticed I go weeks without thinking about them sometimes and it’s so good ? I feel good healing. Is that bad to say?
#camera talks#oops. ramble bc I’m upset at work but that’s what I was thinking about at 5 in the morning while I was driving#and also I don’t feel like I can tell my irls about this bc idk how they’d feel about me ‘bringing it back up’#I’d really love just to sit and call and chat with some of them about it but. el oh el I don’t think I can#I just think they’d be upset about me talking about it again bc it’s done and over but anyways#ugh. I have the stupid and hard cries about it too. and I still beat myself up about some aspects#but I feel so much bette it’s crazy. I didn’t know you could feel this much better after something like that#and I Know it happened in February which was a fucking while ago but it takes time to heal#I’m actually suprised I feel this good this soon tbh#still gonna vent tag this ngl#vent#tw vent#probably gonna delete later lmao
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
SORRY I KNOW U SAID U DONT WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS AND YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ASK OR U CAN ANSWER IT PRIVATELY IF YOU'D RATHER i just really cant shut up ever and one thing i cant stand is fic writers getting shit in any capacity like omg what is up with unsolicited 'advice'? in some ways i find it WORSE than if people were just actively rude bc it's so backhanded and passive aggressive that you can't really respond how you want to bc they're not technically being nasty and they say it under the guise of being 'helpful' and it's just YUCK. like shut up!!!! who even asked you!!!!! writing fic is a free, beautiful hobby and for some reason people feel entitled to it in ways they really wouldn't with literally any other hobby and it does my head in, so pls pls dont feel like ur being sensitive. that's the main reason im sending an ask bc i get you've acknowledged that it's annoyed you and why so again sorry if im beating a dead horse here, it's just i hate to see you undermining your feelings about something that IS genuinely really frustrating and disheartening. like it will never not baffle me how oblivious some ao3 commenters are to how much their words can impact a writer. just like you, 99% of all my comments are positive, and yet i can probably list verbatim the handful of not-so-nice comments ive had in the years ive been on ao3 bc they just STICK with me. so yeah. you're very valid and i know you dont need me to tell you but you've got a whole army of people who love your work and have your back, so just remember that when someone decides to be obnoxious xxx
Haha hella I adore you & I don’t ever want you to stop talking.
Yeah I think the reason it irked me more this time was because after I got a few scattered comments I didn’t enjoy I kindly asked people not to do it anymore & then the very next chapter someone did it lol. & even asked if I was getting enough sleep … like…. damn it… really?
again I do think I’m being sensitive because fuck it I’m probably not getting enough sleep haha but damn you don’t gotta call me out like that! Lol. & I get so many wonderful comments and fanart and asks and all that jazz but I can’t help but hyper-fixate on the one not so nice comment haha
& then I over think everything & it ruins the fun hobby I’m supposed to be enjoying lol
I love that you get it, thanks for always being so awesome & now for the second or third time coming to have my back. You’re the best hella :)<3
#I wasn’t going to post anymore of these but I’ll probably post one more#idk maybe other fanfic writers can see it and know we are all going through it#it doesn’t matter who you are#or what you write#there is always some asshole who has access to the internet#that’s going to give their fucking opinion#but yeah I’m always really nice in my responses because I’m so awkward in those situations#I’m just smiling and laughing and saying wwwtttffffffffff#idk I did tell the last commenter to fuck all the way off though lol#they caught me in a MOOD though#thanks for sending this ask hella#& even the last time I was upset about it you let me vent to you#so that was cool#you’re one of the good one hella!!#& im sorry a you get stupid comments too#but im pretty confident the TAOB following would stab a bitch who was rude to you#as they should#don’t fuck with ao3 writers we aren’t paid enough to take your shit people#(get it…. cause we aren’t paid at all….. haha)#ok thanks again hella#hella1975#ask
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me losing my anonymity to my neighbor after hitting the floor with my broomstick handle - I’ve incited a possible war.
#i was not mchaving it last night#I’m already on edge and last night flared my anxiety up really bad#legit had the shakes because i was so upset at how fucking loud they were#and all my landlord will do is ask if she’s fucking to which she responds no#and then she keeps doing it!#it’s like if i asked if she’s chewing gum#and she’ll look me in my eye and say no while blowing a bubble#and my landlord won’t do anything about it#so I’ll just take matters into my own hands#and if that mean’s embarrassing her and knocking on the floor every time i hear them so be it#the only thing my landlord can do is tell me to move lol#but I’m tired of being plowed over#i will be a bitch about this#I’m spending my fucking money to be here and i can’t just pick up and move#like i legit just moved here!#this girl will not be rewarded for her actions by me moving#i will make everyone uncomfortable#even as we speak they are going at it#why do you think I’m up at this ungodly hour?
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling deeply tired of my family hours.
#it’s ok#I’m so tired#why don’t you have to watch what you say#no we don’t have to be told to watch what we say#because we have a fucking filter#and we notice people are getting upset before they yell or cry#or at least I fucking do#there’s so much I don’t do and say to not upset you#and I can never tell you because guess what you’ll get upset#everything I do is for this fucking family the only reason don’t kill myself is for your feelings#and you think you’re catering to me#I can’t tell you how I really feel because every time I do you make me feel worse#I never minded no one noticing how hard I try#that was always the point quiet little things to help things go smoother#a mediator a listener#that’s me that’s Klaryssa she just does that she likes it#and I do#I love helps I really do#but I also do it because sometimes it feels like no one else will#mom cleans what no one notices#I say let’s look at this from eachothers point of view#I go hey is that really the best way to say that#I’ve been cleaning up emotional messes for yeaaasrs#and you you go why is it on me to consider your feelings#because that’s what people do#I’m asking you to change your phrasing because it hurts#and you don’t understand why you don’t understand why#you just want to know why#I’ve been trying to explain for years#why is it my fault you still don’t understand
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
WARNING FOR ANIMAL DEATH/MUTILATION IN THE TAGS
I think I’ve figured out why it’s the stuff with my cats that gets me the most viscerally upset when it comes to my roommate and I think I need to tell him why that is… we had a talk and he apologized for a lot of stuff but I just feel like I need to explain why I react so intensely to him hating my cats/wanting me to get rid of them
#like there’s the obvious things I’ve said before that ANY pet owner would feel the same about obvious#but like. okay I love cats. I’ve loved cats my WHOLE life#not just cats but animals in general#animals were baby’s first special interest#and I grew up on a farm and I had usually at least 8 pets at a time growing up#that I got money for by doing odd jobs and you know as a child you can spend all your money on your hobbies#and I love animals so I had pets#specifically I always had at least 3-4 cars#*cats#my mom’s first husband hated cats… fucking DESPISED them#and he talked about hating them/getting rid of them all the time#and. well. when I ever did anything to really piss him off#(which you know as a nine year old could be something as simple as breathing too loudly or some shit)#he would kill them#that man killed probably like 20 cats#cuz even after I was old enough to process ‘don’t get more cats bad things will happen to them’#my mom would bring home cats cuz she ALSO loved and wanted cats#even when I would beg her not to because I knew they were going to die#she never cared because in that moment she wanted cats#and obviously this was awful and damaging#and now that I live on my own with my two cats who are my BABIES that I love and cherish#my roommate talking about hating them and wanting them gone….#yeah it’s uh. um. hitting some really specific nerves#obviously I do not think he would EVER EVER do something like that#because you know. he’s not an insane control freak who hates me and animals#it’s still hitting those nerves#and yeah I think I need to tell him that for us to start coming to an understanding#like i get you don’t LOVE my cats you don’t have to#but you can’t talk that way about them… or I’m going to get VERY upset and defensive#kaz rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
1 note
·
View note
Text
so fucking frustrated bc I tried to give myself a Brazilian wax again bc it wasn’t that great the first time and panicked when I got to the lips and had to stop and now I have to wait until this weekend to pay for the rest of the job for fucking full price like wtf
#and I wanna go today to finish it but my mom won’t take me since I don’t drive#and keep tryna tell me that she can finish it like no I don’t fucking want your help#bc you don’t know how to fucking do it so why even fucking play like that#I’m so irritated I keep crying#cause I know this shit is gonna hurt like fuck bc I missed certain spots#so technically it’ll be like two months without being waxed in certain areas#I just wanna sleep forever I hate this shit and I hate my body for being fucking stupid#sorry I’m just really upset#tw: vent#—in store chit chat! 🍫
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Changes in Shadow and Bone S2 that I actually liked:
- Canon Wesper
- Pekka vs Kaz
- THAT scene between Kaz and Inej
Changes I fucking hated about Shadow and Bone S2:
- WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY DID TO THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY
#shadow and bone#like I’m not really someone who complains about book adaptations#but what the actual hell was that#what happened to the original plot of the movie????#also the fact that they put 2 whole ass books in 1 season??!!#loved everything about the crows#but the original plot was in the trenches#AND DAVID???!#be so fucking for real#can you tell I’m upset#grishaverse#shadow and bone netflix#six of crows
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
1 note
·
View note
Text
Ok I’ve been following JJK so far, convincing myself that every character choice and fight detail was weird but not a deal breaker for me, but…..WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?
#jjk spoilers#that twist was so so SO poorly written that I am convinced gege had no plan and is making shit up as he goes#you mean to tell me Yuta did ALL THAT in the span of a single fight???#that the foreshadowing in Gojo’s flashbacks was for nothing????#that kenjaku ate up all that fucking screen time for a fucking power up??????#was yuta never meant to be his own person?#was gojo never meant to be his own person?#this doesn’t feel like an earned tragedy or natural consequence of the characters actions like what happened with megumi#this feels like gege sat down at his desk one day and thought “what’s the edgiest thing I can do to ruin two fan favorite characters?#it genuinely feels like gege hates the people who read this manga#like yeah I get it we’re annoying but#my brother in Christ we liked the manga because it was mostly WELL WRITTEN#and had characters we cared about!#and a core message of how life is worth living!!!!#I’m…genuinely upset at how bad the writing tanked in this one moment.#it reveals gege as someone who only cares about these characters for their cool shonen powers#it retroactively makes every other character death worse#like dud nobara really die off to show the escalating stakes of the world of jujutsu?#or did he kill her off because her powers were lame and her hair was hard to draw?#I’m mildly curious to see how this ends but#I’m done#my canon now ya edgelord cat
1 note
·
View note
Text
Thinking about the frequent iwtv and wwdits comparisons but esp in the context of the past actions of certain wwdits cast members and just. Really chewing on that
#I mean my insight on all that is limited for obvious reasons#but the biggest reason I haven’t gotten back into wwdits since s3 really does go back to all that#not just the actual offenses but like. witnessing the fandom’s reaction to it#like I remember when that discussion was still first gaining traction#and ofc i felt like it was important to talk about#and on one hand you had fans of color and esp black fans finding out about it in real time and just. having to deal with that massive#disappointment#very much a ‘fuck not AGAIN’ moment#felt especially awful when people would find out for the first time from my posting about it. bc it sucks learning something like that from#a tumblr post just sort of always right#and like. of course you need to know if something like that happens.m#and on the other hand it was like. I felt like a lot of other white fans were either a. ignoring it or b. making it their whole personality#in a way that felt very performative#and like. not that I’m Above all that bc I know I still have to watch myself right#but it was like. tags and tags and tags about how upset and disgusted and horrified they were just SHOCKED shocked I tell you#and god it just felt weird.#and then everybody would ofc appear to forget about it all for a couple months until it inevitably came back up and people were Shocked and#Horrified again#anyway. while it’s not perfect I am glad that iwtv centers black perspectives more to at least a degree#it can be limited just bc Louis and Claudia’s world is limited. but still what a difference#like in some ways I am just glad black fans get to have that#I’m also honestly wary of my own parasocial attachment to the cast#bc they’re SO good and wonderful and I find myself reminding myself they’re just people#maybe the fact that none of them did comedy in the 2000s is itself a green flag though. lmao#what a mess that whole thing was. anyway#no point to this really I’m just Thinking#iwtv tv#wwdits
0 notes
Text
you might as well just fucking call me by name at this fucking point
#Rasp Rambles#this is exactly why i have so many fucking problems with everyone in this house. this is why i spend almost every day wanting to fucking#kill myself. this is exactly why i barely made it to fucking eighteen years of age. this is why i can’t fucking eat more than even half a#meal most days. this is why i’ve planned multiple different ways of executing my own demise. this is why i can’t be me. THE REAL ME around#anyone i’m fucking related to. every little thing i do is such a big fucking problem isn’t it mom? everything that goes wrong is just my#fucking fault isn’t it? you wanted a son when you were pregnant with me and when i came out to you at 14 you seemed really fucking upset#despite the fact that i’ve been told multiple fucking times by multiple people that you wanted a son and not a daughter. its bad enough i#get told i look like my father when i hate his fucking guts. you can’t even accept me being a boy despite it being#over FOUR FUCKING YEARS SINCE I CAME OUT. no mom its not for some stupid trend or because all my friends are doing it.#i have maybe two or three irls who are also trans. and even then they didn’t influence this. they were the ones who showed me that there#were words for how i had felt since i was about eight years old. but nothing i do is good enough for you is it mom? its not like sheltering#me for the majority of my childhood had any lasting negative effects. its not like being forced to grow up faster than i was ready to has#caused me any fucking problems. because i can 100% trust you when i tell you about how i feel and all my struggles without worrying about#you going and gossiping about it to your mom and sister and friends. not like i should be able to confide in you for anything.#suicide mention#tw suicide#apologies for all the fucking. emotional bullshit i’m going through guys. really not having a good time right now.
0 notes