#can we talk about the cinematic excellence of this???

[fionnaskyborn]

On a scale from one to ten, how based of me is it that I took the GGST survey for the second time just to put a BlazBlue character that appeared in exactly one novel and then never again in one of my three "additional character I would like to see the most in the future" spots?

[felassan]

Sylvia Feketekuty: "To celebrate DA day, I've made a bluesky account that I'll keep active for a few days to talk about my work on Inqusition or Veilguard! After a few days I'll lock the account, because I'm not a social media person. Happy to talk until then though. I want to say straight off: the reception to Emmrich, Manfred, the Mourn Watch, and the Grand Necropolis has been heartwarming for all of us who worked on those people and places. Thank you all very much!" [source, two]

Rest of post under cut due to length and spoilers. [Post Two, Post Three]

Sylvia Feketekuty: "In the meantime, I do want to talk about a couple of things I saw floating around regarding Emmrich: 1. Emmrich being 52 or 50. I think people got 50 from data mining a character file, but we can't do a ranges in those files. As in, I couldn't input 50-60, it had to be a whole number. I put down 50 as an early ballpark, then went more accurate in later audition scripts. 2. Fifty-two is a old number I threw into an early document before his art or character was totally final. (And which caused another developer a headache because they thought it was accurate, I never updated it. Sorry about that.) 3. "Wait, how old is Emmrich then?" Once I saw his final character art, I felt more mid to late 50s. MAYBE early 60s. But unless we specifically state a character's age in the game, it's all malleable. I honestly would just adjust it to your impressions unless stated otherwise. 4. I've also seen comments on how weird it is for Emmrich to act like there's an age-gap in the romance if your Rook is around his age. And you're right. 5. The reason is because Rook WAS younger when those scenes were written and worked on. I felt it'd be odd if I never addressed the May-December aspect, especially as it hooks into some of Emmrich's worries. 6. By the time that shifted, it was really too late to change without catastrophic repercussions to the excellent cinematics and music and other things that depend on line delivery and timing. 7. To be clear: you can feel how you want about the age gap coming up at all! But that's how the discrepancy came about. 8. "Is there a way to reconcile Emmrich acting like my Rook is way younger than him if they're not?" Great question! I have several suggestions: -Accept it's an error. (True, but unexciting) -Emmrich considers a gap of 3-5 years scandalous. (Funny, albeit a bit cartoonish.) -The Mourn Watch has perfected swapping out organs, and Emmrich is nervously hiding that he's way older than he looks out of vanity. (Untrue, but funny.)" [source thread]

User in reply to point 6. above: "I'm personally glad it was too late to change because their argument about it is genuinely my favorite scene in the entire game! 😭💕 It's such an important moment to me" / Sylvia: "Thanks! That one was one where I was all sweatily trying to balance things out, with tone, with pacing, etc. Really glad it came together for you. (Cine and the actors did heroic things there to get it feeling just so!)" [source]

More snippets:

Emmrich's favorite ice cream flavor? Rum raisin [source]

Lots of people on the dev team shared the vision of having a bunch of gothic weirdness in that pocket of Thedas [source] (Necropolis/Nevarra)

Sylvia "especially liked writing the Mourn Watch origin, it was fun to write a fellow nerd for Emmrich to chat with" [source]

Sylvia poured some personal worries and fears into writing Emmrich [source]

On Vorgoth and their nature: "I'm a little leery of saying anything, partly because I'm cowardly avoiding publicly defining anything more until/if I ever need to. And partly because I did want them to be a fresh unknown. Sorry!" [source] "I'm glad you like Vorgoth, but I'm afraid I don't have much for you that isn't in the game. I deliberately wrote them so as to leave room, if we ever revisited them, or for Vorgoth to remain mysterious, if we did not. I'm sorry if that's not a very satisfying answer!" [source] "I will say, it was fun to throw in a few lines about Vorgoth's art collection. Their passion for it is sincere and deep. (I wanted all the Watchers to have a little non-death related hobby or interest, because they can be so singularly focused.)" [source]

Dwarven Mourn Watcher is a rare origin combo for Rook so Sylvia wanted to call it out [source]

On the outcomes of Emmrich's quest: "I tried really hard to make the options equally viable, and more up to the player's interpretation or preferences of what it would mean for Emmrich in their view. It's been interesting seeing reactions to it, which hinge sometimes on various single lines pushing people one way or another!" [source]

"The Grand Necropolis is always eager and ready for a new member of the Mourn Watch to grace its ranks." [source]

User: "I loved Emmrich's view on death and what his personal quest ultimately went on to say about the nature of death itself, and how the beauty of mortality lies in its impermanence and unpredictability." / Sylvia: "I really wanted to dig into those themes, and everyone in cine and art and level design and editing and the whole team honed in exactly on the vibe. The floral stuff especially, I was so thrilled when I played through the Memorial Gardens' with the art and lighting in." [source]

User: "I experience thanatophobia and that first conversation w/ Emmrich was so affirming and helped me describe my own anxiety to others" / Sylvia: "Thanks, the thanatophobia was, as you may've guessed, a personal experience for me too. I'm glad it was something that helped a little." [source] "I suspect that phobia is way more common than people think, and part of the reason Emmrich talks about it was to express that sentiment out loud. I find it helps sometimes just to acknowledge it." [source]

What languages does Emmrich speak other than Trade? "I think he'd be familiar with Tevene, since there's surely many, many old texts about magic written in that language. Kind of like a doctor that knows latin through their work. I also named that MW alphabet "tomb-script", though I'm not sure if it has a spoken component or not since it never came up in-game. If it does, he'd be able to speak that for sure." [source, two]

User: "Playing as a Mourn Watch Rook has been an absolute delight!!!" / Sylvia: "Thank you so much, I really liked writing those branches of the dialogue. Since Emmrich's so focused on necromancy, it was fun having a Rook who could be both casual and knowledgeable about it." [source]

User: "In your opinion, what outcome do you prefer for a romanced Emmrich (lich/non lich)?" / Sylvia: "Interesting question! To be honest, I'm afraid to answer it properly in case anyone takes my answer to be a canonical one. I really wanted either path to feel equally interesting/correct for whatever you decide fits your Rook's relationship with Emmrich. (We're also in the strange waters of meta-reasoning. I GAVE Emmrich his fear of death-Sorry Emmrich!-which makes me feel a little culpable for that, even though he's entirely fictional. And that might prey on my mind when trying to decide. A very odd experience!)" [source, two]

What music genres would Emmrich be into? "Classical music is very much playing to type for Emmrich, but I feel it's also correct. He'd enjoy a nice concerto or an organ recital. Or, if he's feeling daring, a bold new Orlesian opera! But I don't think his tastes are too outré in that area. That said, I saw someone post something like "Leave Emmrich alone, let him attend the Depeche Mode concert" while listening to Depeche Mode's "Violator", for the first time, which made me laugh. (Great album. If he could get over the shock of synths, Emmrich might enjoy "Waiting for the Night".)" [source, two]

When writing Emmrich the devs wanted to try and hit the gothic romance vibe [source]

Does Emmrich mix his own fragrance/cologne? Does he ever vary it by the season? "I think Emmrich goes to some of the many perfumers that have set up shop in Nevarra City around the Necropolis, just because he trusts their judgement and expertise. I hadn't considered him varying it by season, but that's very fun! I certainly think he has more than one bottle of scent." [source]

User: "How does Lich Emmrich have sex?" / Sylvia: "I don't mind the question! But my answer's a bit boring: I generally stay at arm's length on the more explicit romance stuff, just because if it's not stated or shown in-game, I don't want to bring in a canonical answer that might affect what people imagined. My general preference for romantic scenes that get physical is to leave blank space somewhere, so players can imagine what happens next. It's not the ONLY way to do it, I think there's legitimate artistic reasons to go more explicit. But that's how I approached Emmrich (and before him Josephine.)" [source, two]

User: "The scene with the fade glow where he touches your hand haunts me in the best way" / Sylvia: "Aw thank you. Our animators and audio people made that scene way better than I could've hoped! They took such care with everything there. I want to say that little eye-peep from Rook was added in by one of them, which was the perfect touch." [source]

User on Emmrich: "i’m curious whether you think he’d prefer dogs or cats (or both, or neither)" / Sylvia: "I think he'd consider cats and dogs a little too noisy and messy for his tastes. Not like a nice, quiet plant or skeleton! (Weirdly, I actually had a scrap of banter going over this exact subject at one point. It got tightened down to the exchange with Harding about the pig he used to hug when he was a kid.)" [source, two]

Sylvia was trying to tease Nevarra with the Tevinter Nights story Down Among the Dead Men [source]. "It was really fun to tease the Necropolis, so to speak, in TN, and I'm grateful we got to actually let players through its gates at last." [source]

User: "if Rook chooses to save Manfred and keep Emmrich mortal, what would Emmrich wish to become of his body once he did pass on?" / Sylvia: "Good question. I think he'd want to remain active and useful in death. A guide for other Mourn Watchers, or posted as a mystic guide somewhere dangerous, or perhaps an oracle in the library." [source]

User: "when and how was it decided that Emmrich would be romanceable? I remember reading that he would not be a romance option." / Sylvia: "I'm not sure where that came from, because I pitched him and then shortly after that we decided the entire cast was romanceable. That was fairly early on in the development of Veilguard, as I recall it. (Could've been a crossed wire?)" [source]

Trick Weekes: "Sylvia wrote the fantastic Emmrich "the Vol-carnage" Volkarin and everything that happens in Nevarra while dealing with a lead writer whose attitudes about corpses and undead are... not dissimilar from Taash's." [source] / Sylvia: "I still remember when you gave the very accurate feedback "I think we need to give players whose Rooks aren't into corpses some roleplaying choices to express this" and I was all "Ohhh yeaaaaaah." (Thank u Trick, you were right)" [source] / Trick: "Specifically, being able to express this without locking themselves out of the content! (For non-Sylvia folks) Given my issues with corpses, Emmrich as a whole was SUPER Not For Me, so I gave one caveat and then said, "For the rest of my critique, I will be impersonating his target audience." [source]

Sylvia on the secret origins of Manfred: "After I pitched Emmrich, I started jotting down notes and thoughts on his plots, his quirks, all that kind of stuff. It was very early on Veilguard, anything was still possible. We were chatting in the writer's room about it one day, and I think we'd just seen some early concept art for Emmrich. And our lead writer Trick Weekes joked that Emmrich looked like a man who'd have a skeleton named Manfred. And I laughed and went "Yeah he does!" And then I thought about it. It's wild in retrospect, but that one comment spurred a train of thought that led to the core of Emmrich's arc. He may've ended up a very different character without it! tl;dr: I stole it from Trick." [source, two, three, four]

"I got to play with a pretty free palette when defining the way Emmrich and the necromancers view death and spirits. But I tried to keep it within the confines of existing lore. That's one reason why that scene where Emmrich talks about Manfred to Harding goes into "the eternal question" of whether a soul actually returns with the dead or not. Nevarra has distinct beliefs, but I thought it'd be interesting if its people argue over their interpretations of those beliefs." [source, two]

"the other writers also suggested a bit later on that the big choice dig more into Emmrich's philosophies. Initially, it was more personally focused on his fears, which made it 'relatable' but pettier. Without that correction, I think it would've been weaker, I totally needed the team push." [source]

"I have a few guides to graveyard symbology, and it's so packed with references and meaning." [source]

User: "Did any of your own fears & experiences, make it into the writing of Emmrich? If yes, is it information you’re comfortable sharing with us? If it’s too personal to give any details, that’s fine as well. Also, across the other games, who do you think Emmrich will get along with best?" / Sylvia: "some of his fears are absolutely personal. The reflexive-compulsive panic over death is something I'm very familiar with, and I wanted to explore that through him. Because I suspected it was not uncommon, and worth examining. The question of who he'd get along with from the other games is surprisingly tough! Because without asking the other writers about their characters, I wouldn't know for sure. So I can only really speak to Josephine with surety. That said: -I think Josephine would be polite, and grow to like him, but would never entirely be over the ostentatious necromancy. -I think Emmrich meeting Sera would be the funniest match." [source, two, three]

"Peter Cushing was also one of my go-tos as an example of what I wanted Emmrich to be." [source]

"(Huge shout out to all the animators and level designers making Manfred run, quite literally. Like 95% of his personality lives in his movement, I think they nailed it.)" [source]

On Emmrich: "I tried to put a lot of passion and sincerity in his love for the dead, and I admit the Necropolis was THE big place I wanted to see in Thedas myself ever since reading about it in a codex." [source]

User: "Thank you for letting him have that cemetery dream date!" / Sylvia: "Having the date in the cemetery was one of the first things I wanted when thinking about the romance." [source]

"Josephine was the first time I was entrusted with a new character and a new romance at once, and that'll always be special to me." [source]

User: "How much input did you have in Emmrich's appearance in the podcast?" / Sylvia: "In the podcast, none myself. I believe it was handled by a third party but reviewed by a few people at BW, I don't know too much past that. (We did provide a descriptor and character rules. Stuff like "Emmrich never swears" and "always says amongst" and broader, more thematically useful things.)" [source]

User on Emmrich: "Are you planning any other external-media stories for him?" / Sylvia: "Thanks very much, The Flame Eternal has a special place in my heart for being the first time Emmrich got to be center stage in a story. (And very flattering to hear about the cross stitch. That's so cool!) I can't speak to any external-media plans, I'm afraid. That's not an implied hint about anything existing or not, it's just literally outside what I'm allowed to chat about. It'd be fun to do something like that again though!" [source, two]

"I must give full credit to Nick Borraine, Emmrich's voice actor. He got the compassion and tenderness the character needed right away." [source]

"And glad him being closer to your age resonated, I really wanted someone older out on an adventure. No reason that has to stop at any age IMO." [source]

User: "do the mourn watcher/nevarra in general raise their pets after they die to keep them around? like a dog skeleton with a whisp in it?" / Sylvia: "To be honest I hadn't thought out this one, but it's a very good question. I'm not sure how common that would be, or even if it's permitted to have pets running around the family crypt. (I definitely thing people would WANT to do it.) You know, I think I'm going to have to leave this one in the vague quantum foam of the future. I think I'd want to not only double check existing lore, but answer that in-game (or in a book or etc.) if we ever need to. (Hope that's not too much of a cop out. Sometimes I like to leave questions I'm not sure about alone, because until it's in an official game or story, it doesn't quite count.)" [source, two, three]

User: "as someone who shares emmrich's anxiety about mortality, getting to spend time with him, and in the grand necropolis and with the mourn watch, was genuinely soothing" / Sylvia: "Thank you, I'm glad he was a comfort. It's a familiar fear for me too, and I'd hoped he would connect that way with people very much." [source]

On the giant ribcage 'ceiling' in the Necropolis: "sadly, even I don't know all the mysteries of the Necropolis. (Which is to say it's a very cool bit of art but has no stated origin yet. Could be a large dragon, a giant...or something weirder!)" [source]

On TN story Luck in the Gardens: "It was nice change up, writing in first person and with someone so rascally. I've got an enduring affection for the Lords after writing Hollix, the scamp." [source]

User: "I just love his genuine enthusiasm for everything he does. If the other party members had fan clubs Emmrich would be the president of each and I love that for him" / Sylvia: "Thank you! I really wanted him to embody a kind of expansiveness and generosity of spirit, to stand in contrast to the eeriness of his abilities." [source]

User: "What was your inspiration for Josie?" / Sylvia: "My girl! When I came on to Inquisition, there'd already been work done on setting up the spine of the main plot, and figuring out the overall cast. But one of the advisors was a little murkier. It just said "Diplomat" on the white board. We knew we wanted someone in that position, but not who. So in a game where you were out exploring, killing demons, etc., but also had a big organization to run? I immediately wanted to make a Diplomat firmly there for you. Somebody you could hand the keys to the entire Inquisition to while you were out, and know it'd be in good hands. I also thought it'd be fun to have someone from Antiva, since that area wasn't covered yet by anyone in the cast. And I needed her to be polished, smooth, but heartfelt, because of that aforementioned trust. And that was the core of Josephine! Her voice actor, Allegra, brought her to life with such lovely charm, and hearing those early sessions also helped me further hone her tone." [source, two, three, four]

"Our music supervisor Ron Dazo hit it out of the park with Emmrich's music IMO. And so glad you liked Hezenkoss! Just very fun to write as a character." [source]

User: "Did any specific watcher raise MW Rook?" / Sylvia: "Good question! I kind of left that one alone because I wasn't sure if I wanted to let Rook define that themselves, or leave it open, and also I'd have wanted a full conversation on it. In the end that was a little out of scope so I left it unsaid. Which is to say that it COULD be Vorgoth who helped raise your Rook. And that stands until/unless we give a definitive answer (or let you choose from a range of answers) one day." [source, two]

"It was such a pleasure for all of us to finally get to explore the Necropolis, I am very glad we got to throw open the gates." [source]

User: "I was wondering if there were any Mourn Watch details you wished you had more time to explore? I was so struck by some of the ethical implications in your stories" / Sylvia: "Geeze, now that's a question. I mention it with Emmrich, but there's some resentment over the power the Watchers hold as THE mortalitasi of the Grand Necropolis, between them and the other orders. There's something to that situation I liked. There's also questions of how they select people for the order. What their standards are, how closely they work with benign spirits. And how they cultivate those relationships. How deep does that go? I also mentioned in a codex "the lives and bodies of those who tamper with the undead of the Necropolis are forfeit unto the Mourn Watch." which is pretty chilling. What's that punishment like, exactly? And in general, writing about anything weird or unexplained in the Necropolis brought me much enjoyment, and it would be fun to dig around how the Mourn Watch deals with (or what they want out of) all these mysteries and entities." [source, two, three, four]

"Geeking out with Emmrich about spooky stuff was a delight to write." [source]

"I liked writing someone older this time, it was something different for me and rewarding in some unexpectedly different ways. (And thanks especially for the nice words on DAtDM - I was very excited to introduce people to the Mourn Watch there!)" [source]

"Ah, tomb-script. I named it but it was our concept artists who went developed it with the hexagon shape-language of the Mourn Watch, which I loved. Conceptually: I think it's used purely an occult or sacred language. Something for the graves, or books on magic, but not everyday things." [source]

"Some trans people kindly offered their help with some feedback on some of the romance lines and others, which absolutely made them much better." [source]

"Trick Weekes actually wrote a ton of the banter where Emmrich inquires into qunari artifacts and customs, and Taash talks about what it was like to grow up under a scholar. I really dig the dynamic they unearthed between the two there." [source]

User: "Do you remember what was written in the script to describe ✨this✨ moment? [link]" // Sylvia: "Lol. I miiiiiight? Let me look at my notes. Ah hah, I do! My note says that Emmrich "takes a second, surprised." And then he's touched afterwards." [source, two]

Sylvia: ""i hope it's not too late, but were there any designs in mind for what Nevarra City looks like?" Not too late! We've got a few sketches in the World of Thedas books, but that's it. If the team ever went back to Nevarra City proper, I'd imagine the art team would want to do a deeper dive." [source]

Sylvia: "(Glad you liked Myrna in particular. My first Mourn Watcher everyone got to know!)" [source]

Sylvia: "I'm glad to hear getting to know Emmrich has been of some comfort." [source]

[celestinedream]

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, A Spy Thriller So Good It Ruins Lives (And Features Abs, Obviously)

Alright, let’s get one thing straight: The Winter Soldier isn’t just another Marvel movie. It’s the Marvel movie. The drama? Unmatched. The action? So intense you forget to breathe. The emotional damage? Immediate and lasting. Oh, and let’s not pretend we’re not all here for the same reason, Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan looking devastatingly good while being emotionally wrecked. Because if there’s one thing I love, it’s a man with a tragic backstory and an elite jawline and pretty eyes... and oily abs...

The Vibes: Superhero Spy Thriller Realness

This isn’t just “superheroes punching things” (although, let’s be honest, the punches in this movie? Cinematic perfection). It’s a full-blown political thriller with a side of existential crisis. Steve Rogers, formerly America’s golden retriever, goes feral when he finds out S.H.I.E.L.D. has been HYDRA this whole time. Like, imagine finding out your entire government job is actually run by the enemy? Girl, I would be on the floor. And just when Steve thinks it can’t get worse (surprise!) The deadliest assassin in the game is actually his presumed dead bestie, Bucky Barnes.

The paranoia? The betrayal? The “I can’t trust anyone” energy? Washington, D.C. isn’t just a backdrop, it adds to the whole ‘this is way too real’ vibe. And don’t even get me started on that highway fight. The tension. The raw aggression. The fact that you feel every punch? Iconic.

Spoiler alert: The only people Steve maybe trusts are Natasha (sometimes) and Sam (on a good day). Otherwise, it’s just him, his morals, and a very big shield.

The Emotional Gut Punch (a.k.a. Steve and Bucky Ruin My Life)

Let’s talk about pain.

Steve Rogers spends the entire movie trying to save Bucky, even though Bucky is now a brainwashed murder machine with a metal arm and a stare that could end me (in more ways than death). But does Steve give up? Absolutely not. He refuses to fight him. He refuses to let him go. And in the final battle, when Bucky has every reason to let Steve drown, he saves him anyway.

If that’s not the most gut-wrenching, soul-crushing display of loyalty, I don’t know what is.

This movie isn’t just about superheroes fighting villains, it’s about who you are when everything is taken from you. It’s about friendship and identity and whether you can save someone who doesn’t even remember you. I’m not sobbing, you are.

The Villains: Because One Just Isn’t Enough

The bad guys in this movie? Terrifying.

The Winter Soldier – Brainwashed Bucky Barnes, aka the assassin of your dreams (or nightmares). He’s got the metal arm, the deadly precision, and the emotional devastation of a lost puppy who could also end you.

Alexander Pierce – The calm, collected, absolutely evil mastermind of HYDRA. Smiles in your face while planning your downfall.

HYDRA – Not just one villain, but an entire system that’s been pulling the strings this whole time. The fact that they were inside S.H.I.E.L.D. from the start? Unsettling.

It’s not just what they do, it’s how they do it. The slow build up, the realization that no one is who they say they are, it’s so real that it’s actually terrifying. And let’s not even talk about the Helicarriers and their whole pre-crime execution plan. Like, privacy? Who needs it?

The Action: Simply Unmatched

Marvel has great action sequences, but The Winter Soldier said we can do better. Every fight scene feels real, you feel the weight behind every hit, every struggle, every broken shield.

The Elevator Fight – Steve vs. a dozen dudes in a cramped space. He still wins. Because he’s that guy.

The Highway Fight – Bucky flipping knives like he’s doing a magic trick. Steve struggling because, well, it’s Bucky. (I would also struggle if I was there)

Every Other Fight – So raw. So intense. So illegal, emotionally speaking. The amount of destruction, hello?

This isn’t CGI chaos, this is choreographed excellence. The fact that half these stunts were done practically just makes it so much better.

The Visuals: A Whole Cinematic Aesthetic

This movie is beautiful. The cold, muted tones? The shaky camera work that makes you feel inside the action? The way even their costumes tell a story??

Steve’s stealth suit – Darker colors, because he’s not blindly following orders anymore.

Bucky’s black tactical gear – A ghost of his former self, lost in the machine.

The Helicarriers & S.H.I.E.L.D. buildings – Cold, sterile, and symbolizing the lack of trust and corruption within the system.

Every single shot means something, and I live for the details.

The Symbolism: Yes, We’re Analyzing This

If you love overthinking movies (hi, me), this one is stacked with meaning.

Steve dropping his shield – He’s literally choosing Bucky over everything he once believed in. (I'm crying.)

Bucky’s metal arm – Unlike Steve, he didn’t choose to be a super soldier. His arm is both his greatest weapon and his biggest curse.

HYDRA inside S.H.I.E.L.D. – A metaphor for how corruption can exist right under your nose. A little too real, bestie.

This movie isn’t just action-packed, it actually makes you think.

Why This Movie Is Just It.

The reason The Winter Soldier is the Marvel movie? It’s not just good vs. evil, it’s about questioning everything you thought you knew.

Can a system be trusted when it’s already corrupt?

Is it okay to sacrifice privacy for security?

Can you save someone who’s been completely broken?

And, let’s be real, the emotional devastation is a huge part of why we’re obsessed. Because what’s better than a superhero movie? A superhero movie that hurts.

Final Thoughts: Go Rewatch It Right Now. Like, Now.

If you haven’t seen The Winter Soldier in a while, what are you even doing? The more you watch, the more details you pick up, like how HYDRA symbols are everywhere before the reveal.

It’s got everything: 

✔️ Next level action 

✔️ A plot that ruins your life

✔️ Characters that emotionally destroy you 

✔️ And most importantly… Bucky Barnes looking unfairly good while being an absolute mess.

10/10. Would sob over this movie again and watch purely for Bucky (he's just perfect and can do nothing wrong in my eyes).

[gabedemon]

Okay, so I watching Book of the Atlantic and noticed this during Undertaker's monologue about how he makes the bizarre dolls work by splicing cinematic records. His example record was originally a silhouette of a woman who we saw go through her life and die with a man at her bed side. Then, for the actual record clipping when he talked about his inspiration, we get this:

A blonde woman on a cliff side, who we can assumed jumped off of it. But that's not quite right, is it? A body would be hard to recover that way, if a body were found, it would be waterlogged, decaying, and scavenged, and we know suicide deaths go to the shiginami dispatch. This is Undertaker's *inspiration*, not just any example.

And who do we know is in everything Undertaker does? The Phantomhives. I think the woman in the clip is Claudia. She's blonde (or anime blonde, like Francis) and we know Undertaker had a connection to her due to his mourning locket.

He also states he "retired" "half a decade ago" while Othello states it had been 70 years. This is where the timeline gets a bit shakier; that 20 years makes a big difference on how old Claudia would have been which leads to my new theories:

Claudia was his daughter, and she is why he walked away from the shiginami dispatch. That's why he's obsessed with the Phantomhives, it's *his* bloodline and that is also why Ciel can see reapers.

They were lovers, as is the current prevailing theory, both which leads to....

she died young. We don't really know how she died, and if she is the woman in the example record, it was likely suicide. She knew about Undertaker and the reapers, probably knew their inner workings (and how they're made) and possibly wanted to join him for eternity. This however clearly didn't go to plan, either because

Reapers check the cinematic records of new hires and would have seen her relationship to Undertaker and intervened, separating them permantly and making Undertaker even more driven to ensure he never loses another Phantomhive again

They completely pave over who the person was in their past life. Sasha had talked about being miserable and now this second chance is a new drive, but something about the way the concept was explained leaves a gap. How do you get someone who cares about nothing to care about paperwork and souls and orderly balance? Maybe they hand select for personality, but I think they strip away parts of who someone was and reprogram for the job, to some extent. What if they did the same for Claudia, so she either has no memory of her former life or has no desire to reconnect with Undertaker?

Did he manage to salvage what he could and continue her record? If she were the first, I doubt it would have went well. The bizarre dolls on the ship (aside from Real!Ciel) were very primitive, lacking eyes and only acting on instinct. Riel was one of a kind, and we quickly saw how fast his skill excelled, but their lives were decades apart. Claudia's doll would not have been as advanved. In the outro, we see a doll being puppeted until it no longer can be and collapses with a grim reaper hanging in the background controlling it. If the example record *is* Claudia, it also lends to suggest what happened if Undertaker had continued her cinematic record.

[neroushalvaus]

No wait let me talk some more about Bridget Jones and how despite all of it's faults I think it's a positive movie for women in general and fat women in particular

So yeah, Renée Zellweger is not fat. While I think we should not forget that she was still body-shamed in media for the slight weight she put on for the movies, she was never fat or even "chubby". It is obviously a problem that in the first two movies she is constantly treated as fat when she never was. But even thought I do not like it, that is how it is. And in the Bridget Jones cinematic universe, Bridget Jones is seen as fat. As someone who is not desirable, who is embarrassing to date and who should constantly feel ridiculous for daring to exist in the world.

And you know, when you grow up fat, you learn that you need to compensate for the crime of being too big. Especially when you are seen as a woman. You need to be smart as a whip, and funny and entertaining to be around, and talented in so many ways, and you may never be clumsy because when a fat girl falls down, the first reaction is not "are you okay", it's laughter. And you may not have standards. If a guy likes you, consider yourself lucky. You can't be too loud or annoying because you already take up too much space. When it comes to looks, you must excel at femininity. You must wear make-up and have a beautiful face and lovely eyes and you have to wear clothes that compliment your body, that draw the attention to your breasts and hips. You must always be ready to be sexualized because that is the closest thing you can get to having your body accepted.

And then there is Bridget Jones. She drinks too much, she smokes too much, she talks too much and I love her with every fiber of my being. Look at how they dress her in the first two movies. Look how they style her hair. The clothes are often ill-fitting, the hair is messy and flat. When she goes to parties, she tries so hard to look good but never looks like a typical romcom lead. She is reaching towards femininity and falling face first into mud. She is crass and has a weird sense of humour and she always says the wrong thing in every situation.

But she is sincere. She is loved by her friends, she is desired by several men (and one woman) and she is allowed to have standards. The first movie's plotline with Daniel Cleaver is so good in this regard. Daniel sends Bridget sexual texts, sleeps with her, never says he loves her and then he cheats on her. Do we laugh at how silly Bridget was to get her hopes up when she thought this guy played by Hugh Grant could like her when he never said he did and obviously only wanted sex? No. We focus on how hurt Bridget is. And I love the scene where Bridget is with her friends and Mark Darcy when Cleaver comes to apologize. He comes through her door and seems surprised she's not alone, waiting for him. It is her birthday. Of course she is with her friends. Who you would know exist if you cared about her life at all, Daniel. And you know, then he apologizes and doesn't wait for Bridget's response, he just assumes she takes him back. Because how could she possibly do better? And after Daniel and Mark have their legendary fight for Bridget's affections and Bridget tells Mark to piss off, Daniel just assumes this means Bridget has chosen him. Because a woman like Bridget needs to have someone to make her feel less like a waste of space, right? Which makes it delicious when Bridget counters Daniel's pathetic little love confession "If I can't make it with you then I can't make it with anyone" with "That's not a good enough offer for me". She is still looking for something more extraordinary than that.

And she gets it!! I can not stress this enough! She is seen as a fat woman who isn't brilliantly smart, isn't polite or suave, is clumsy and crass and socially awkward, and can't cook anything but blue soup and marmalade and is a hot mess express in general, and the archetypical romantic hero, literal Mr Darcy falls in love with her just as she is. Bridget never needs to become smarter or less awkward or less clumsy, she is loved and treasured just as she is. That is why I have loved her for twenty years.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The 20 Best Films of 2024 (And the 10 Worst)

I fucking love movies.

Most people following me know that on some level, but I haven’t really showcased that love in a long while. Over the past couple of years I felt really drained and unmotivated, and my review series I did all petered out. And it made me sad. I WANT to share my opinions, I WANT to talk about things I’m passionate about! So I decided about halfway through 2024 I was going to do something big to bring my blog back: Watch as many new releases from 2024 as possible so that I could make an end of year ranking of my favorite movies!

Since I decided to do this halfway through the year, it made watching the films I actually wanted to see fairly easy since everything was able to be pira—er, watched completely legally on various streaming platforms. Max and Prime were big helps, as was Netflix towards the end of the year when my wife got it for her yearly month-long binge of Christmas films. My only rule was that the film needed to have a wide release in 2024—a few films had festival screenings in previous years, but I counted them for the purposes of my list. This also, sadly, meant Better Man and Wallace & Gromit were ineligible (but they’ll likely be ion my 2025 list near the top).

I gave myself a little leeway and extended my deadline to mid January just so I could make sure I didn’t miss anything I really wanted to see, as well as so I could watch movies from other years. I managed to watch 77 newly released films, and while I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to I was incredibly happy with what I did see.

This was a really good year for queer films and horror. For the former, I watched four different movies with queer themes with three of them focusing on trans folks, and of those four three were extremely good! In fact, two of them made this list, and one that didn’t—The People’s Joker—is still a fantastic work that puts a fresh spin on well-worn characters while telling a coming-of-age story! With the latter, we just got some truly fun and inventive films that showcased what the genre can do in the hands of skilled filmmakers; even more flawed horror films like Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus were still really good and fun, albeit held back by some glaring and often frustrating issues (CGI necromancy for the latter, AI generated image use and a shitty finale for the former).

Surprisingly, this was also a decent year for superhero cinematic universes, mainly because they all slowed the fuck down. Marvel released a single film—Deadpool & Wolverine—which managed to be a fun crowd-pleaser as well as releasing the wonderfully witchy Agatha All Along to Disney+. DC put out two shows this year, The Penguin for the Reeves elseworlds and Creature Commandos as the animated debut of the new main DC film universe’s continuity; the former is a fantastic crime drama full of excellent performances that gives one of the best portrayals of Batman’s most versatile villain yet seen, while the latter is a decent-but-nothing-too-special ultra violent animated series. Both studios are looking to have interesting futures, and at any rate they’re both doing way better than Sony, who not only gave us now news on Spider-Verse but also shat out the three worst films in their already abysmal cinematic universe. Honestly, I think creating a six film run in a cinematic universe where none of the movies are good is an incredible feat!

But most of all, this was a great year for women. Most of my favorite performances of the year came from immensely talented actresses giving it their all: Mikey Madison, Margaret Qualley, Kathryn Hahn, Aubrey Plaza, Anya Taylor-Joy, Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Lauren LaVera, Alisha Weir, Liza Soberano, Kathryn Newton, Naomi Scott, Willa Fitzgerald, Lupita Nyong’o, Kristen Stewart, Cristin Milioti… The Ladies were killing it this year. Three stand above all the others for me, however. The first is Zendaya who, between Dune and Challengers cemented herself as one of my favorite actresses; the second is Lily Rose-Depp, who with Nosferatu gave a performance so good it completely erased Yoga Hosers from my mind; and finally there is Demi Moore in The Substance, who gave the best performance of the whole year, hands down.

Before we get into the top 20, let me just give a brief rundown of my ten honorable mentions. If there wasn’t a 30 image limit, I probably would’ve covered these, but oh well. Lisa Frankenstein is a shockingly charming and macabre directorial debut from Zelda Williams and a welcome return to form for Diablo Cody; Blink Twice is a gripping psychological horror thriller dealing with themes like gaslighting, sexism, and wealthy tech bros abusing women (a very topical subject) and features perhaps the best performance of Channing Tatum’s career; Smile 2 is a wonderfully crushing downer of a horror film, with a fantastic lead performance from Naomi Scott; Trap is M. Night going full goofy with a black comedy about a serial killer who keeps rolling nat 20s on his persuasion checks; Rite Here Rite Now is a kickass concert film for the band Ghost with story bits interwoven, and features a Scooby-Doo homage music video for “Mary on a Cross,” finally embracing their role as goofy Scooby-Doo chase music; Juror #2 is a fantastic late-career film from Clint Eastwood that features a fantastic performance from Nicolas Hoult, though it unfortunately released in a year where the guy had even better performances; Strange Darling is a dark thriller told out of older that is incredibly stylish but maybe a bit too full of itself; Road House is an awesomely stupid remake that fully embraces the goofy spirit of the Swayze original while telling its own story, complete with cartoonish logic and fights; The Wild Robot is a great (but a bit overhyped) found family story; and Love Lies Bleeding is basically Drive for lesbians with macrophilia, fulfilling the sort of niche none of us knew existed but we should be thankful is around. I’d also like to shout out two contenders that would have been higher if not for glaring issues—Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus. The former has numerous moments that break the immersion of its setup and an absolutely terrible finale, while the latter employs CGI to bring a dead actor back to life and leans far too heavily on nostalgia for much of the middle portion of the movie. Both are still really good, but their glaring issues hold them back.

Now, onto the main event! Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion and not the objective list of what's best and worst, and you're free to agree or disagree as you see fit:

20. The Fall Guy

I really loved Bullet Train and Deadpool 2 is a really solid superhero sequel that might actually be funnier than the original, so it’s safe to say David Leitch is a director I enjoy. Now, how about throwing in Ryan “Literally Me” Gosling instead of Brad “Wife Beater” Pitt as the lead and also throwing in Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, and giving Aaron Taylor-Johnson a chance to actually act? You’ve got yourself a fun, funny little stunt extravaganza. It doesn’t quite reach the highs of Bullet Train but it gets pretty close, and if nothing else it managed to convince me Kiss didn’t suck for the duration of its runtime (they play “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” about every five minutes, and it honestly rules every time).

19. I Saw the TV Glow

I sometimes worry I’m not going to be able to pick up on metaphors or allegories, no matter how obvious. I watch a lot of horror and superhero movies, y’know? Simple stuff. I worry it makes me too stupid. But I was able to fully grasp the trans allegory of this movie, and absolutely loved it and thought it enhanced the narrative. Justice Smith absolutely kills it here; the dude is great at playing mumbly autistic people uncomfortable in their own skin, and this is the peak of those roles. He absolutely sells the final, soul-crushing party scene at the end of the movie in a way few other actors could. Also Fred Durst is here, and while this seems a funny tidbit, he actually delivers a line that is so unbelievably brutal that it instantly made me hyper aware of the themes of the film. I actually passed out the first time I tried watching this film, and thought that it sucked because of it; as you can see, I’m glad I gave it a second chance.

18. Conclave

I was worried a stuffy drama about holy men vying to become the Pope would be boring, but boy am I glad to be proven wrong! This is a film that is mostly old men talking to each other, but they’re also scheming, plotting, and acting like bitchy mean girls as they try and become the next head of the Vatican. Ralph Fiennes puts in a fantastic performance here, and the film’s views on faith and religion are actually pretty relevant to me (someone who has a complicated view of religion). Throw in a jaw-dropping final twist and I can see why this film is so heavily hyped as an awards darling—though I don’t necessarily think it should win.

17. Abigail

I’m sure you all are aware of my love of vampires, especially vampires with a singular defining theme. I have created vampire OCs with gimmicks ranging from a lost cosmonaut vampire to a traumatized WWII veteran clown vampire to a former Cosa Nostra boss vampire to a vampire who’s the king of Atlantis… But let me tell you, the fact I somehow didn’t think of “Vampire ballerina” is something that will haunt me forever, especially when it was done so perfectly here. The titular vampire’s profession of choice is utilized amazingly in how she moves and kills, and it makes her one of the most unique and fun horror antagonists in recent memory. The fact the rest of the film is funny and engaging is icing on the cake, really.

16. A Different Man

I love movies that are character studies about people who are literally the fucking worst, and Sebastian Stan’s character here is a very interesting take on this. He’s a man who feels his deformity is what causes people to not like him, so he gets a procedure to make him ‘normal’… And then along comes a guy with the same issue as him (played by Adam Pearson) who is the fucking Rizz Master and who everyone loves. It turns out the whole time he just fucking sucked! Stan is absolutely great and proved to me he’s the real deal after multiple MCU projects where he bored me to tears, but Pearson is the one who steals the show here. He’s just an unbelievably charismatic figure, a real fun guy, and without him the film just absolutely wouldn’t work. How he keeps getting overlooked for awards is beyond me.

15. Megalopolis

Every single opinion you will hear about this film is correct. It’s great, it’s awful, it’s genius, it’s moronic… It has to be seen to be believed. I saw this for my birthday, expecting it to be a glorious trainwreck lovingly crafted by an aging auteur who saw this as their ultimate passion project… and that’s exactly what I got! I think every decade needs its own take on The Room, and this is that film if it had an even more insanely huge budget and a director who actually has genuine talent and some semblance of knowledge about how a film is supposed to be.

14. Terrifier 3

The Little Slasher Film That Could! A truly inspiring film, one that managed to make a massive profit despite being a grisly, gruesome splatter film the likes of which haven’t been seen since… well, since Terrifier 2 really. The plot is a bit weaker than its predecessor, but what it lacks in story strength it makes up for in buckets of blood and pitch-black comedy. David Howard Thornton gives his best turn yet as Art, cementing the demonic clown as a modern horror icon with an impressive physical performance.

13. In a Violent Nature

One of the year’s most polarizing films due to its concept: It is a slasher film that follows the killer as our POV, and that means lots of slow, methodical walks through the woods as he seeks his victims. There’s lots of lingering shots and slow pacing, feeling like a real-time hiking simulator… but there’s something so fresh and engaging about it, and when we finally get to the kills they are easily some of the best the slasher genre has seen in years. Does the ending car ride drag on maybe a bit longer than it should? Sure, but I still enjoyed it for fleshing out the film’s world a bit more while hammering home the themes. I think this might be one of the only slasher movies I could reasonably call a genuine work of art.

12. Deadpool & Wolverine

I’ll be the first to admit this is not a great movie; the story is basically nonexistent and everything that happens seems to be contrivances that exist so that Reynolds and Jackman can bounce off each other. But this isn’t a bad thing! Jackman wisely brings his A-game when he could have easily half-assed this role at this point, and Reynolds manages to squeeze out a few solid emotional moments from Wade Wilson. And while the film is a terrible sequel to the first two Deadpool movies, it is a wonderful Deadpool themed meta-commentary and tribute to the Fox Marvel films of the 2000s, movies that tended to suck ass and that most would find unworthy of respect. Not this film; it brings back characters like Johnny Storm and Elektra and uses them in fresh and funny ways that will make you feel at least a little something for that era of superhero cinema. This is a fun fanservice fest—and the perfect demonstration of why we don’t need any more after it, because they could never be as good as this.

11. Wicked

Yes, the lighting is bad and the direction isn’t exactly anything special. Let’s not give Jon M. Chu any credit for why this film is so high up. No, it is the absolutely stellar cast that carries this film, with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande knocking it out of the park in their roles as Elphaba and Glinda. Their developing friendship feels sweet and genuine, and their songs all hit as hard as they should, with the “Defying Gravity” sequence easily being one of the year’s highlights despite the sun’s best efforts at ruining the moment. It’s just nice to see a fun, colorful, campy fantasy musical get this big. We need more like this.

10. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

It’s nice to see the world of Mad Max expanded and it’s even better to see how Furiosa became the woman she was in Fury Road, but the real star of the show here is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus. It is mind-boggling how good an actor he is when he gets to let loose, and this might genuinely be the best performance of his career. Just a damn good film, but what else can you expect from Miller? Its biggest flaw is it just isn’t as good as Fury Road—but what movie even is?

9. Transformers One

The trailers for this movie didn’t look particularly good, and the Transformers franchise had long lost any goodwill in my eyes, so this was a movie I fully expected to fly under my radar. But then along came a Twitter user who did nothing but hype this film up to the high heavens, and so I had to give it a shot… and boy am I glad I did, because this is easily the best animated movie I saw last year (I did not get a chance to see Flow or Memoirs of a Snail, which I’m sure are better movies). For the second time in the year Chris Hemsworth pulled off a shockingly great performance, but this was truly Brian Tyree Henry’s film; his performance as D-16 AKA Megatron is genuinely fucking amazing. He truly manages to sell the future Decepticon's fall from grace and make it believable while also managing to sell the friendship between him and Optimus before it all goes to shit. Easily the best film in the entire franchise so far.

8. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Family films really didn’t get better than this one this year, a feat that is monumentally impressive when you remember this is the second sequel to a movie based off of a video game and that easily clears both of its predecessors. It is paced like its title character and isn’t quite as funny as the last two, but it’s much more tightly plotted, the action is incredible, and best of all the emotional story beats it pullls off with Shadow and his tragic backstory hit just as hard as they should. As perfect as Shadow is, the movie wouldn’t be half as good without Eggman and his interactions with Gerald Robotnik; Jim Carrey, the man who once refused to do sequels, managed to give two of the best performances of his career in one film, delivering a fantastic character arc with Ivo and his toxic yaoi with Agent Stone as well as the zaniness-masking-depravity of Gerald. An utter joy of a film, a joy only compounded when a certain song kicked in at the finale and my daughter turned to me with a big, excited grin. You can’t buy an experience like that.

7. Anora

You know all those movies about hookers with a heart of gold like Pretty Women, these live-action fairy tales where a sex worker is swept off their feet and saved from their situation by a rich guy who loves them? Well, this is the antithesis to those, a dark and realistic take on those very stories that still manages to be very funny thanks to strong performances across the board and excessive amounts of profanity. If Demi Moore wasn’t in the running, I would be throwing my full support to Mikey Madison for Best Actress, because she rules in this.

6. Heretic

I really, really love Hugh Grant. I love how he’s taken his charming leading man image and used it to play sleazy, conniving villains, weaponizing his established charisma to play the nastiest guys imaginable. And let me tell you, his performance here had me sympathizing with fucking Mormons. I think maybe the movie goes on a bit too long for its own good—there’s a point where I was thinking “Ok, I get it, can we please just wrap it up?”--but the fact this is so high on my list should tell you that I don’t think that really holds it back much.

5. Challengers

Tennis is not anything I give a shit about, but for the duration of this movie it was the actual coolest thing in the world. This is the tale of the world’s three most toxic people, and the ultimate tennis match that will decide their destiny all with the backstory of what led to that match woven in. Zendaya cemented herself as one of my favorite actors with this film, the cinematography is genuinely insane (there is a fucking tennis ball POV sequence!!!!), and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross deliver one of their best scores yet… Why isn’t this film drowning in Oscars? How did it get snubbed this badly?

4. Nosferatu

Robert Eggers might be the greatest modern horror director. He has an impeccable sense of style, an attention to detail when it comes to historical accuracy that is genuinely insane, and the ability to always get the best cast imaginable for his films. Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable as Orlok, a role that manages to surpass Pennywise in sheer vile wickedness, but it is in fact Lily Rose-Depp who gives the greatest performance of the film. She is truly the heart and soul of this movie, and showcases the sort of acting talent her father wishes he still possessed. This might be the first horror remake since the 80s that manages to surpass the original, though with that said there aren’t many surprises here. It knows how good the original story is, and doesn’t change too much. What it does add is crucial to the plot, though, especially showing us Orlok’s penis.

3. Dune: Part Two

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first Dune. I liked it well enough, but it felt like a whole lot of setting up and not enough delivering. Well, guess what? This film delivered. Oh fucking boy did it deliver. Austin Butler debuts as Feyd-Rautha, one of the most badass and bloodthirsty villains ever put to film, and despite not getting the winged panties Sting had manages to steal the show and leave a lasting impression despite his brief screentime. But even better than that—but only by a little—is Timothee Chalamet’s Paul’s journey from a desperate hero trying to survive into a full-blown dark messiah who buys into his own hype and whips his followers into a frenzy. It is genuinely chilling seeing what he becomes, and it has me excited where the third and final film will take him. Also Christopher Walken is here. And worms. I really love big worms and Walken.

2. The Substance

People have tried so hard to apply deep meaning to this film and say it has complex moral themes. And sure, it does have strong morals and themes, but let’s not kid ourselves here: This is an R-rated Goosebumps episode. And that’s why it’s fucking amazing. It’s gross, it’s gory, it’s nasty, it’s ridiculous, it’s cartoonish, and it features Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley going all out with their performances. This film has one of the best third acts of the year, because while it does drag on quite a bit it continually gets crazier and crazier. This would easily take my top spot, but there’s one film that’s even better...

1. Hundreds of Beavers

I did not know what to expect when watching this. After hearing so many online reviewers like Schafrillas and YMS rave about it, I definitely was uncertain that I’d find this to be quite as good as the hype would lead me to believe. But let me tell you, to say this film surpassed my expectations is an understatement. This is the funniest film I have ever seen in my life. This is a black and white (mostly) silent film comedy that showcases such a joy and appreciation for the art of film, a movie that oozes charm from every pore. It genuinely needs to be seen to be believed. It has one of the best protagonist journeys from nobody to badass I've ever seen, and it features some of the funniest gags I've ever witnessed. My daughter walked over when she heard me laughing, started watching, and laughed her ass off at the movie too. Genuinely a masterpiece.

Go. Go watch it. It’s free on Prime Video, it’s free on Tubi, stop fucking reading this, go and watch Hundreds of Beavers, and then come back here. It’s fine, I’ll wait.

Alright, now that you’ve seen peak cinema, it’s time to talk about the dogshit.

Even with watching so many movies this year, I surprisingly enjoyed most of them. Sequels I expected to despise like Moana 2 and MaXXXine ended up being decent but heavily flawed, cartoon slop I thought would be irredeemable crap like Thelma the Unicorn and The Garfield Movie ended up being surprisingly decent and surprisingly mid respectively, and Madame Web was perhaps the funniest piece of shit Sony ever churned out. Kung Fu Panda 4 and Venom: The Last Dance are really the closest to genuine “dishonorable mentions” I have, but neither of them are that bad. Like, they definitely suck, but they have enough good points to them where I don’t want to put them on this list. The same goes for hilarious streaming garbage like Nanoshark and Cinderella’s Revenge. Sure, the former feels three hours long (it’s barely over sixty minutes) and the latter ends up squandering its fun premise and dickriding Elon Musk (I’m not kidding), but it’s hard for me to muster up anger at schlock meant to be put on as background noise.

But I still saw some fucking awful movies this year that I hate with a passion. Here are all ten of them:

10. Poolman

Poolman is the directorial debut of everyone’s favorite Chris, Chris Pine… and it is a perfect demonstration of why he needs to stick to acting. Imagine, if you will, Chinatown crossed with The Big Lebowski. Now imagine The Dude is the most annoying, insufferable moron imaginable. That’s essentially what this film is. There is some mild entertainment in some of the bizarre, rambling conversations the characters have but it never truly feels like a worthwhile experience.

9. Emelia Pérez

Is this the absolute worst film of the year? No, absolutely not; if anything nice can be said about this film, it’s that it is competently made and all the technical aspects are sound. But it is probably the most offensive film of the year, delivering some of the most problematic depictions of Mexico and the trans experience you can imagine. This is basically a Mexican minstrel show desperately trying to be some grand, operatic tale of a cartel boss who tries to right their wrongs and live as their true self. It comes off as incredibly tone deaf and cringeworthy, with the transition feeling more like a way for the title character to escape her sins than anything else, which tarnishes a story that genuinely sounds fascinating on paper. Throw in a bunch of nonsensical musical numbers that are uniformly awful and a cast that has a poor grasp on the Spanish language, and you have a movie that’s offensive to everyone from man to woman, from woman to man, from penis to vagina.

8. Nosferatu

Yeah, that’s right, two Nosferatus released in 2024! And the difference in quality couldn’t be more night and day; while the Eggers film is a stylish remake that tells the familiar story with enough of the director’s own ideas to make it a unique and engaging experience, this film is a shot-for-shot remake that looks like it has the budget of a Channel Awesome movie (with the acting talent to match). The one saving grace is that the inimitable Doug Jones portrays Orlok, but even he isn’t enough to redeem this pointless slop. There are three better versions of this story you could be watching, the original and two remakes that justify their existence. Don’t waste your time with this glorified fan film.

7. The Crow

I’m not usually one to say a role died with an actor or that some stories are just not able to be remade, but The Crow is definitely one of the exceptions. Brandon Lee owned the role of Eric Draven, and the original film is perfect 90s gothic action; it’s a story that doesn’t really need a retelling. They could have easily just done a spin-off sequel like they’d done before, but no, they decided to randomly slap the names of Eric and Shelly on two characters who end up being in name only and tossing them into a sloppy supernatural murder thriller with forgettable villains and piss-poor characterization. Bill Skarsgård is probably thanking God every night he had the role of a lifetime in Count Orlok to fall back on, because a performance as bad as his Eric is would be more than enough to tank an actor’s career in any other year. Yet, even as bad as this is, it somehow isn’t the worst comic book adaptation of the year.

6. Hellboy: The Crooked Man

With The Crow, I can see why it was remade. Sure, the end result is a pile of shit, but I at least can admit there is some level of artistic integrity there; they wanted to try and put a unique spin on a familiar story, that they failed catastrophically is another thing entirely. This movie, though? This is one of the most cynical adaptations ever created. It is so blatantly an ashcan copy—a cheap production churned out as quickly as possible to cling to the rights—that it’s genuinely painful to watch. It has the look and feel of a fan film, and not a very good one; this is the Spider-Man: Lotus of Hellboy films. Frankly, this one makes me appreciate the Harbour-led film even more. Sure, that movie was a sloppy trainwreck of a dozen plotlines, but at least it had cool gore and Ian McShane! This movie has next to nothing of value.

5. Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie

You’d think that giving SpongeBob’s coolest friend her own feature-length adventure where she gets to save the day would be a good thing, especially since she’s often sidelined in the theatrical releases. Well, you’d be wrong! This is easily some of the most insufferable SpongeBob content ever shat out by Nickeleodeon, with bogus and uncomfortable grossout humor, a padded plot filled with random action sequences that do nothing to advance the plot, and a bunch of poorly-acted villains with annoying gimmicks. Wanda Sykes’ Sue Nahmee in particular is just an absolute eyesore once her true nature is revealed. I absolutely love Sandy, she’s one of my favorite characters and has been since I was a kid, so when I tell you it stung to see her time in the limelight be such a dumpster fire you’d better believe it.

4. Harold and the Purple Crayon

I honestly don’t know why this film exists. I don’t even know what to say about it. The fact that no one looked at this, a film where Zachary Levi plays a manchild who represents a grown-up version of a beloved cartoon character who enters the real world to go on a stupid journey, and thought “Hey this actually fucking sucks and maybe we shouldn’t release this into theaters” is absolutely astounding. This is a film destined to pad the bottom of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, with the copies going unsold for years and years. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they released the Blu-Ray straight to the bargain bin. This is the kind of crap I’d expect to see on Netflix.

3. Kraven the Hunter

Sony really had a fucking abysmal year. Madame Web was the insane, stupid comedy gold we’ve come to expect from their Spider-Man minus Spider-Man cinematic universe, but it also showed that the novelty of a series comprised of nothing but bad movies was wearing thin. Then came Venom: The Last Dance, a meandering and mediocre finale to the beloved campy Venom trilogy that ditched the fun and queer undertones for an almost incoherent sequence of random events occasionally interjected by Knull sitting on his ass and yelling at people like he’s Steven Seagal on set of his latest movie. And then as their final gift to us, they managed to put their stupid franchise out of its misery with this brutal death blow of a film. Kraven is bad in the worst possible way: It is incredibly fucking boring. This is astounding because not only is this rated R and able to take full advantage of Kraven hunting, it also has the perfect character to delver a badass anti-villainous role. But they don’t do that; instead, they make Kraven into a pretty boy anti-hero with Aaron Taylor-Johnson giving a performance so dull it convinced me he was a bad actor until I saw The Fall Guy. It’s truly pathetic that after six films they couldn’t manage to get even one thing right. It’s the miserable end to a historically awful franchise. I truly hope Disney gets the full Spider-Man rights back soon, because I trust Sony with these characters about as much as I trust a toddler with a live grenade.

2. Borderlands

I have never played a Borderlands game in my life, but if they are even remotely like this movie I don’t think I ever want to. This movie is what everyone who hates the MCU says every Marvel movie is like; flat characters, bad action, stupid quippy “he’s right behind me isn’t he”-ass dialogue, baffling casting choices, and the world’s most annoying comic relief character all congeal together into this disastrously bad sci-fi adventure. I guess we’ve been pretty spoiled with good video game adaptations lately, so they had to release a bad one to even things out. At any rate, this is the sort of black mark a Zionist dog like Eli Roth deserves on his career. With any luck, it will keep him out of the director’s chair for a very long time.

1. Joker: Foile à Deux

As many of you may know, Tom Green’s Freddy Got Fingered is one of my all-time favorite films. It is a troll film, a film where Green is deliberately pushing the limits of gross out comedy and sanity at the expense of the studio; it’s a film that is deliberately off-putting. I’m also a fan of the John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest, a movie where the main character is made to be as deliberately annoying as possible, a film designed to be as horribly offensive to everyone as possible in the hopes it crosses the line enough times you’ll laugh. These are films I admire for their edgy, stupid, confrontational style; they will not appeal to everyone, and that’s fine, because while they are certainly laughing at your expense they’re laughing at everyone else’s expense as well.

This film is very similar, except that it’s only laughing at you. You, the viewer, are the punchline of this movie and it spends its plodding runtime hammering that in and telling you over and over how much of a stupid fucking idiot you are. The film is half the most banal courtroom drama you’ve ever seen, one where they do nothing but recap the first film, and half a terrible jukebox musical where the songs are just there to be there and are poorly sung. All of it is built around picking apart the first film and repeatedly hammering in that you’re stupid for liking Joker, the original film and the character. Now this isn’t an idea wholly devoid of merit, especially because of the wild misaimed fandom of the character, but Todd Phillips lacks the intelligence and maturity to tackle something as profound as that. He is truly a shallow filmmaker, unable to grasp these deeper ideas and so settling into surface-level style to distract you from how awful the screenplay is.

Genuinely, the worst part of all this is the incredibly tasteless moment where Joker is implied to be raped by prison guards, something that crushes his spirit and removes all his desire to be Joker (something he spent this whole film up to this point getting back to, despite the whole first film covering the same plot beats). There is so much wrong with this, so much that needs to be unpacked. Did he not realize the sort of messages this sends? Did Phillips really not think through the implications of Joker being cured of his Jokerness by being sexually assaulted? Considering his numerous crimes and the fact that he’s the fucking Joker, is this not implying in a way that perhaps the ends justified the means here? Honestly, I’m putting more thought into this than Phillips put into the whole movie. He just wanted to say “screw the audience” without finding ways to make it fun, engaging, or entertaining.

People are going to look back on this film in a few years and try and convince you it’s good. Don’t listen to them. It isn’t. This is a fucking disaster of a movie, and you are genuinely better off just watching the first film again; if you’re dead set on watching this, hit yourself on the head with a hammer while watching the first one and you’ll get just about the same basic effect. Any film that wastes Lady Gaga this badly is a crime against nature.

[vanarchistx8]

Alright I'm gonna talk about my Minecraft Movie experience. I just want to discuss things respectfully with others, and I am not trying to shit on the movie. I don't believe every movie that comes out has to be this serious cinematic masterpiece and it pisses me off when critics try to rate comedies on the same basis as regular movies. That being said... I still did not enjoy it for the most part. There were some funny parts but in general it just wasn't enough. I also did not enjoy the theater experience as a whole.

I've seen many people say things like "you shouldnt have gone to see the movie expecting it to be good or to have a quiet childless experience". I assure you I absolutely did NOT go in there expecting that. I was however, expecting the movie to be entertaining at least. And it just wasn't for me? And I am NOT a hard to impress. "The movie is made for 10 year olds" has never ever stopped me from loving it. Kids movies are my thing. I hate seeing more mature movies because I don't enjoy the themes. I just wanna go to a movie and have a silly little time and laugh. And I actually enjoy doing this in a theater full of kids. I love hearing the laughter. But this time... Oh God this time... I was not prepared. I got almost none of that silly fun time. I laughed maybe like twice? It was a dumb and bad movie, but not in the way that I love. And I have no idea how or why? I love Jack Black and all his Jack Black -isms and silly songs. But this whole movie just felt forced? It didn't feel like it was made by someone who loved Minecraft (I have been playing for 11-12 years so no one can accuse me of only playing it recently).

I feel like MAYBE I could have liked it more, if these teenagers I'm my theater didn't ruin every second of it. I will preface the rest of what I have to say by stating that I love theater experiences where people clap and cheer and have a good time. I went to see the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man when it re-released last year at AMC and oh my God that was so much fun. Cheering the actors names, saying the meme lines in unison, and standing ovation at the end was a magical experience. But the difference there was, that theater knew when to Shut The Fuck Up. When I went to see Minecraft I could not even hear half the lines being said. I didn't even get a chance to find anything funny because the kids were too busy yelling and trying to make each other laugh and talking through the whole movie. It felt like a trend, a joke. And it probably was. I don't have TikTok so I have/had no idea how it was going to be treated. Like they didn't even actually want to watch the movie? Cheering at the beginning: excellent. Cheering and screaming at each other so long that I couldn't even hear the first few lines of the movie: ass. Cheering for Jack Black and Jason: yes. Not knowing when to stop so we can all hear the dialogue: wtf? Cheering at memes like "chicken jockey" "flint and steel" and "loaf": totally fine with that, I didn't get it at the time, but found out after the movie that it was a meme, I get it. But, screaming and not knowing when to stop after every line JB said got really really fucking old. I dead ass COULD NOT HEAR most of the movie. I am one of those people that can't focus on a movie if someone is talking. Also there were two dipshit kids that just kept loudly making comments the whole time, competing, trying to get the theater to laugh.

I've seen a comment that said if I wanted to be able to hear the movie, I should have waited until it came out on streaming and watched it at home. But like... Why is that? Why is that supposed to be what I should have known? Besides, I LOVE the theater. I LOVE theaters with people who like to clap and cheer, and that is what I wanted and hoped for on this one. But to just straight up not be able to hear most of it really affected my ability to properly rate this movie. How can I enjoy the memes and the jack black songs if the theater members don't even give me a chance to hear them? How can I have a silly little time if I can't HEAR the movie? My biggest thing is just that MY theater didn't know when to STOP. The young couple on my right left halfway through, and the father and son beside me looked extremely agitated as well. There was a MAN WITH A GLITTER BEARD in my theater, and I didn't even get to enjoy that because I wanted to leave so bad. I'm unfortunately going to have to watch it again at home at some point.

I have never, in my 27 years of living, wanted to leave a movie mid-way. I almost did several times. Because it wasn't entertaining enough for me, and maybe it would have been if the audience wasn't just... Too much. Did anyone else have a similar experience? Or an experience that was a little closer to what I wanted, with cheering but stopping so that we could hear the lines? Again, I don't want to argue with people, I just want to know if y'all get where I'm coming from here?

[erstwhilesparrow]

limited life fic recs

Not really more of theme to this one than "Hey, check out this good good writing!" Been meaning to do this one for. Um. A while. Did my best not to repeat authors. If you're on this and don't want to be, let me know and I'll remove yours!

Fics On AO3:

Sundown; astronomeridian - Nobody fucks on the page in this one but you know it's gonna happen. The various alliances of Limited Life settle down for the night and talk around or about having sex. Really incredible character voice the whole way through (made particularly impressive by the fact that Every Character Is In This).

Gallant; zornographic - Grian/Etho-centric Knight AU, in which Grian, badly injured and fleeing for his life, runs into Etho, a strange knight offering to help him, in order to pay back a favour Grian did for him long ago. Really gorgeous turns of phrase applied with perfect precision, and lovely glimpses of a much bigger world that is alive and specific, that the characters feel genuinely rooted in.

Close to Your Chest; foxgloveblue (cornflowerdye) - Canon divergence where Joel and Etho are the last two standing at the end of Limited Life. The visual details in this one make it downright cinematic -- you can see the wreckage of the Bread Bridge, the light falling on them both. Special commendation for the characterization here too: Joel and Etho both clearly know each other well enough that it give us access to both of them in fun and interesting ways.

everything anyone ever ignored; Sixteenthdays - AU where when you kill someone, you get some of their traits. Really really fun for (1) quick, sharp prose and (2) glimpses into each of the character's unique experiences with Being In Their Body. There's a relentlessness that matches the vibes of Limited Life itself really well.

the lamb & the knife; errorryx - Cleo tells Pearl they're going to summon a goddess of war, and Pearl thinks about summoning something for herself. It's good fun! Admittedly, my idea of 'good fun' is mild body horror and considerations of animal and human sacrifice, but also fun are Pearl and Cleo's usual contentious relationship, and Pearl's usual degree of getting herself into trouble.

tempering; farrondoc - Grian/Etho platonic kink around Etho being Grian's sword! Captures their characters really well in a very short space.

Cam-account Parenting; litbynosun - Bdubs and Scar have been mysteriously and abruptly turned into little kids. Cleo has to handle this while chat fervently discusses what's going on in the background. Banger fic, script format with some fun bonus touches, great character voices, excellent fandom commentary on the horrors of being a woman in MCYT spaces.

Poison; jabberwockysoda - Etho takes up smoking; he and Cleo argue about it. Vibes of "we know and dislike each other but there is an intimacy and comfort in the knowing and the disliking" -- a very particular, almost worn-down tone that is set immediately and then maintained the whole way through.

fulgurite; Thunderbirds_and_Lightning - The Bad Boys' deaths. One of my all-time favourite depictions of the Limlife timers and one of my favourite endings to a Limited Life fic too. Lots of wonderfully creative imagery that draws on popular fanon without directly copying it; very fun.

With Soul Intent; salemoleander (heartbeatsinreverse) - Canon divergence where everyone's clocks stop in the middle of the game. Hilarious. Pitch-perfect character voice. Every beat hits. salemoleander is also on Tumblr and has a few Tumblr-exclusive Limited Life ficlets that are awesome, but which I could not include on this list due to rules of my little game. Check 'em out!

the here and now; doctorletmebebrace - Joel wakes up at home, on Empires S2, after his final death. Jimmy's there, and they talk. Makes me really tender about them, for all that they spend most of it arguing. Full of grief and regret and so much love.

Fics On Tumblr:

(Note: In cases where a fic has been posted both on AO3 and on Tumblr, I've linked the version that's on AO3. These are the ones I couldn't find on there.)

[Knives and forks clink against the dinner plates]; wisepuma23 - Boogeyman Impulse tries to sit through a normal meal with the rest of TIES. Forever and always a big fan of the intermingling of domesticity and violence, and the visceral onomatopoeia makes this really fun background drumbeat to Impulse's narration.

["Do you have a clock yet?"]; dmwrites - Impulse gives Bdubs a clock, and Cleo makes an addition. It's sweet! It also makes me sad. Good thoughts re: Impulse's relationship to Bdubs over time, from both Cleo and Impulse's perspectives.

[What are you?]; the-amber-shadow - The Watchers hound Martyn for an answer to the question of what his symbol is going to be after he wins Limited Life. I think this one's fun both as a historical artifact (what did we as a fandom consider for symbols, and thus how did we interpret/emphasize different parts of Martyn's victory), and I'm a big fan of metafic. Martyn arguing with Watchers-as-audience is a great way to do it!

[Gem Cleo watches Scott leave]; jellieland - Gem in Cleo's body has a chat with Martyn, and Martyn tells her something about why he teamed with Scott this time around. jellieland is a fantastic writer whose fics are invariably fascinating, well-written, and insightful, and I do recommend you check them all out, but I had to pick this one because I read it and could almost physically feel something clicking into place in my head -- everything I have written about Martyn+Cleo since this has been influenced by this fic.

[Joel's gone soft on him]; zedif-y - Jimmy reflects on this new side of Joel he's started seeing this season, while petting Joel's hair. It's soft. It's nice. Joel gets to take a nice nap and cuddle with Jimmy and Jimmy gets to think about all the things he knows about Joel.

[Joel dies with blood in his mouth]; alittlebirb - Joel dies. He's furious about it, and then he's not. Love the wild, frenetic energy of this one trailing off into something quieter, something like resignation -- fantastically paced.

[Bigb watches Grian for a while]; theminecraftbee - Bigb watches Grian do something that definitely isn't mourning, and definitely doesn't understand it. You don't know what an agony it was to have to narrow this down to Just One Theminecraftbee Fic. But I'm sure you could've guessed that. The thing that gets me about this one is Bigb and Grian have such history and see such interesting facets of each other, and their team-up in Limlife is this resigned kind of "Okay. This is what we're doing now." The melancholy is excellent.

Mean Gills Quarantine Zone:

(I like Mean Gills. A lot. So I have a lot of fic recs focused on them. So that's why this section. This should all be AO3 fics?)

Stop; KieIsWrite - After the end of Limited Life, Martyn tries to reckon with the aftermath of his actions. There are corpses. Things get grim. Scott's ghost is there, maybe. This one's horror, so mind the tags, but the horror comes in slow and quiet, and very interesting things are happening with the blurring of bodies-as-death and bodies-as-erotic.

hold the night; solarcafe - Scott and Martyn cuddle. That's it, that's the whole fic. Sweet, charming fluff!

Hush hush; WhyB - After moving the beds down into their secret base, Scott gets a little comfort and Martyn gets a little absolution. The Scott and Martyn hurt/comfort fic of your dreams! Hits every beat perfectly, and really, this author just does good hurt/comfort in general for every fandom they're in. Check 'em out!

I want to say I'm sorry for stuff I haven't done yet; the_hypercube - Scott and Martyn have a tense conversation over breakfast, while the ghosts of the Third Life alliances haunt them (figuratively). I love the thread of uneasiness running through this whole thing, pulling tighter and tighter but never getting to a breaking point. I love all the little domestic gestures against the backdrop of [This Is A Death Game And Things Are Getting Bad].

Requiescat; enemyofrome - Martyn walks out of the end of Limited Life and finds Ren, building the ice boat course on Hermitcraft. Martyn's not entirely free of the Watchers, of Scott, of his time in the games, but he and Ren will work it out. This is in the quarantine zone because I have to confess a disproportionate amount of my adoration for this fic is because of the excellent codependent Mean Gills, but the rest of it is because it is tender and well-characterized and beautifully written.

ears pressed to the floor; GoodTimesWithScar - Scott catches Martyn sewing the Dogwarts banner for his red life skin. Wonderfully melancholy, even as Scott and Martyn fall into their usual banter. I like how lonely it feels, even when they're standing right in front of each other -- they've got separate histories to contend with.

the cut of your love; soapflowers - Selkie AU! Martyn has Scott's pelt locked in a chest in his basement, and this is Fine. Really really good at maintaining a tenuous balance where nothing drastic has happened, but they both keep flirting with the precipice. The tags on this include Implied/Referenced Kidnapping, Abuse, Non-Sexual Intimacy, and Gaslighting, and that is enticing to me, but I know it isn't to everyone, so mind the tags!

Call Me What You Like; orphan_account - A study of Scott's perspective on his relationship to Martyn, with some (a lot of) pining. Everyone's having a miserable time, except me; I'm pointing at this and going, "Ough!! A Mean Gills dynamic of all time in this one for sure!!" Delightful juxtaposition of physical closeness with emotional distance.

[wizardsvslesbians]

It's time for another... Recommendation Masterpost (Winter 2024).

Anybody suggested Geoff Ryman's The Child Garden? It has The British Wizard Socialist Party, it has lesbians, it has revolution in the form of spitting out the pacifier of immortality, it has a genetically-engineered polar bear furry/weird little Phantom of the Opera figure who wants to defy expectations and become a singer & composer. No promises you'll love it (it was first published in 1989, for starters), but I think it'll give the two of you a lot to talk about.

Frankly this sounds amazing. I will at the very least crack it open.

This may not be mainline wizards vs lesbians (no lesbians (queer people are around (there's polyamory!)), although wizards are there (less one specific guy and more like... Themes. And people who can control earthquakes with their minds.)) But! The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin is one I read recently which blew my mind in the quality of the prose and the nuance of the worldbuilding and how unflinching the author is towards having horrible and traumatic things happen to her characters without having it be gratuitous in the slightest. That + the pov and tone felt like such a breath of fresh air to me as opposed to a lot of other scifi-fantasy I've read recently. I feel like there's a good bit that could potentially be said about it and I would be fascinated to hear your takes (I am avoiding looking up reviews because I don't want to spoil myself for the sequels). Other interesting things about it: 2nd person done well and effectively. Distinct lack of europe or even the spectre of generic medieval European fantasy. Pretty accurate science to the point where I can tell what the in-world scientists are getting wrong and what's going on in modern terms (like, ohhhh she's testing for heavy metal contamination. They don't call it that but you can figure it out.) Generally very well delivered worldbuilding, sort of dystopian-post apocalyptic but with undeniable fantasy elements and I would not be surprised if the second book veers into sci-fi. That sort of fun genre non-conforming thing. And also again very well written. I don't think it's perfect though, there's been better character work. Newish listener, I've been very much enjoying the podcast despite not really listening to podcasts, came for the excellent Scholomance opinions, stayed for the interesting discussions of other books I've either read or heard about.

I think we will probably have to get to N.K. Jemisin in some form at some point, and why not here. Thanks for listening!

Have you thought about doing Babel, by R. F. Kuang? No lesbians to speak of but definitely wizards. Seems incredibly in yalls wheelhouse

R.F. Kuang's Poppy War books tend to appear in wizards vs lesbians / lesbian space atrocities / glove kink cinematic universe lists, so, yeah, probably only a matter of time. This looks like a cat squasher, though, which may be an obstacle.

this isn't so much a recommendation for the podcast as another adaptation recommendation - i previously recommended the 2019 carmilla film dir emily harris, but i'd also like to recommend the 2023 graphic novel duology carmilla by amy chu and soo lee - definitely read both volumes though because it's not complete otherwise. it manages probably one of the only ways i can actually see a 'happy ending' for the titular character that doesn't drastically rewrite her or the story's premise (though that definitely isn't the main draw - it's about the chinese and asian comunity in new york and san francisco and the aids crisis in the 90s). it is tied with the 2019 film for my favourite adaptation.

AND

finally got around to listening to your carmilla episode and wanted to recommend (not for an episode...unless haha) my favourite adaptation because it's not too well known, which is the 2019 film "carmilla" directed by emily harris. it focuses a LOT on laura's internal psychology and captures a lot of the atmosphere of the novella that i've not seen other adaptations do, despite not really trying to be a faithful adaptation plot-wise

Noted! As we've said it is very hard to get us to sit down and do movies for the podcast but that may be changing soon...

okay you know the scene in aristocrats where all the cats are partying on a piano and the piano is crashing through every floor of the house? what if the wizard is that party crashing through floors of reality and the lesbians are a new mom and her situationship? anyway i really enjoyed “the last hour between worlds” by melissa caruso

Hi Seiya! You make a compelling case, as always.

Well if your expanding most of your definitions of wizards and lesbians. I first started listening when i played we know the devil about a year ago and was scrolling through tumblr snapping up every bit of content around it, and in that episode you mentioned heaven will be mine. You could try to say like earth is being a big evil wizard in a vague way, and then theres Iapetus but hes like a personification of like, scientific chauvinism? Maybe not scientific but how his mech is described as something that divides and categorizes makes me think it and now im on a tangent I have the worst girls brainworms and id like this podcast contribute to the worms wriggling in my skull Id love to see what your analysis comes up with

It is not beyond the realms of possibility that we could have L back on to talk about HWBM - Alexis would just have to play it first.

got a book rec- The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy which pits our MC, a trans girl, and her fellow baby witches, all of whom are the scrungliest puppies, against the forces of (magic) environmental destruction. it reminded me VERY deeply of tortall (which i think the author was going for) and it was a fun, fast easy read

We've been looking for more trans stories. Tortall means nothing to me but probably something to Alexis, so that's a possible angle.

a final indulgence (and i think i’ve sent an ask about this before so please feel free to ignore if uninterested!): the neapolitan novels by elena ferrante are very dear to me but they’re almost wholly unwizleslike and so are not relevant to the show (though i would argue lila is a wizard and both leading women have a love and passion for each other that extends beyond friendship). have either of you read any of them and/or do you have thoughts?

We haven't. Italian litfic, huh? The guardian calls "my brilliant friend" the 11th best book since 2000, and who am I to say otherwise

i think metal from heaven has an audiobook now, if you guys wanna cover it

It's back on the list.

i've not read it, but i am VERY introgued by the tensorate quadrilogy of novellas by neon yang - the novellas have all been bound together as one medium size novel, so you might be okay with covering all four?

I seem to remember us bouncing off Neon Yang, but I'll stick in it the hopper.

short story recommendation: the witch sea by sarah diemer. it's a really interesting fairytale, and does qualify for wizlez i think

Thanks!

Just finished “Countess” by Suzan Palumbo which was a fantastic entry in the “the wizard is colonialism” sub sub genre. but in space. it’s a short one and i can’t decide if it should have been longer or if the novella length suited it better

Well, we do like it when things are short

i finally got around to finishing it and holy shit she ra and the princesses of power really lands like all of the lesbian space atrocities beats, i'm surprised you guys didn't cover it yet

We are aware of this. Usually we cover a cartoon every 25 episodes or so - not out of the question if we survive long enough

recommending Confessions of the Fox- it arguably has wizards in the same way that baru cormorant has wizards, & certainly lesbians although not the main character historical fiction about what if Jack Sheppard was transmasc and witnessing london in the midst of the enclosure of the commons & various social upheavals plus footnotes from a trans guy professor discovering the narrative as a lost manuscript in present day it would b really interesting to hear ur thoughts on this bcuz i think it is the worst written book that has nevertheless made me cry!! plus this is one of the early books contributing to the contemporary development of Trans Literature as a genre, sorta

Ah.. the worst written book that makes you cry is a genre unto itself, I think, and one we have historically enjoyed.

Thanks to everyone as always for sending in your recommendations! Even if we never get to them we still appreciate the thought and enjoy sharing your recs with other listeners.

[zel-shadedreviews]

So, why not pay attention to another Disney-related company that I really do like with this being the one that started feature-length computer animation. I love a majority of the Pixar movies, even though I feel that they’re relying on sequels for their biggest blockbusters for the future. While they had their differences and losses, those even involving one of their original directors, I’m glad that they’re prospering. For this, I’m doing all movies, sequels included, and also take a look at the shorts. The spin-offs will also be included, such as the Buzz Lightyear movie and another bad universe where vehicles talk.

Back in 1999, this film hit the charts by being the very first one to be in computer-animation. CGI was at a point where it was everywhere in the nineties , but seeing an animated film had the same impact as one would say like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

What I can say about most of Pixar’s premises where they grasped a classic idea that you’ve seen before in children’s media, such as toys coming to life, but adding their own spin and telling a great story. Set in the young Andy’s bedroom, his favourite cowboy toy, Woody, suddenly gets replaced by a new action figure called Buzz Lightyear, who thinks he’s a real space ranger in an alien planet. Over time, Woody begins to feel a large amount of jealously, where after trying to sabotage an opportunity that spirals a chain of events, the two end up stranded in the house of the destructive next-door neighbour.

How I would describe this is by telling a story of how one’s jealously leads to trouble and here is shown to be understandable. Woody is the veteran member of Andy’s bedroom, whom the child residing has always seen him as his best friend. But, when Buzz, a new and updated toy with a bunch of features, shows up, Woody begins to feel that he’s being replaced. When he acts up, he begins to reflect on his bad decisions and tries to make things right by helping out someone who acts like a thorn in the side.

For a movie that’s about an hour and seventeen minutes, it contains a simplistic and well-meaning story of jealously and fear of replacement. It also kept itself contained in limited locations such as Andy’s perky bedroom, Sid’s horror show equivalent and the space fantasy genre of Pizza Planet. It’s plot and location may feel small in comparison towards the sequels, but I felt that was the point as the toys have always remained in the bedroom, plus we get some thrilling scenes such as two climaxes involving a rebellion against Sid and a whole chase for the moving truck.

There’s also some rather adulterated jokes for the older audiences to enjoy such as the banter shared between Woody and Bo as well as some lines from the main character here and there. To me, I liked how a film for children has a certain edge to it, bringing a sense of balance to both old and young audiences like what Shrek did. All-in-all, it’s mainly the line delivery of the cast, such as Tom Hanks’ excellent voice work, which I will get into later down the line.

The movie’s soundtrack was done by songwriter, Randy Newman, whose voice I can see as easily-mockable. Honestly, while I make fun of this trademark lyrics, he’s made a few bangers over the years. This soundtrack features some memorable songs such as the whimsical beginning number, You’ve Got a Friend in Me, the impactful Strange Things and the sympathetic I Will Go Sailing No More. Newman also performed the music, capturing each moments of childlike playtime, dramatic tempo and thrilling themes.

Now, let’s talk about the main aspect which would be the animation; like I said before, this was the earliest stage of computer animation in cinematic history, but it’s definitely not perfect. Don’t get me wrong as I think the animation still holds up with the facial expressions and attention to detail, but can be a tad dated. I liked the designs of each toy from their plastic bodies with some baring creative body parts. My special praise goes towards Sid’s bunch of creative Silent Hill-type action figures, particularly the metal spider monster with a doll’s head and various combinations of two toys attached to each-other. The backgrounds also had some light to them with Andy’s innocent and ideal bedroom, reflecting on a child’s creativity, which deeply contrasts towards the darkened atmosphere of Sid’s untidy room with punk rock posters and dangerous tools lying around.

Even today, I’m still noticing a nice detail in the background of the movie such as the Pixar shorts as books in the universe as well as some neat character interactions.

However, the designs on the humans aren’t as good, where they looked more plastic-designed than the actual toys. Fun fact, but the boys attending Andy’s birthday party were all clones of the original. The dog, Scud, was also an example for his overall creepy look. But, that’s not a bad thing as I still feel the quality was a phenomenal attempt back when it was fresh like a lemon.

I still really liked Woody’s overall character development, where before his envy, he’s shown to be really caring of his owner and the toys around him. When things don’t go his way, he may think of a plan but then it goes out of his intentional control and pits him as the antagonist. I thought his lesson of not letting his jealously get the better of him was well thought-out; he sees how it would lead him into severe trouble, while Andy still sees him as a companion.

I mean, it’s not like Woody meant to axe Buzz off like what he did in the original draft. I’m sure you all know but originally, there was a Black Friday reel where Woody was shown as an incredibly unlikeable and antagonistic figure who deliberately throws Buzz out of the window, before verbally-abusing Slinky when confronted. John Lasseter regrets this to this day as this would have been a nasty start towards the age of computer animation.

Honestly, I’m glad that they rewrote Woody as from the point where he literally gets rid of Buzz, there was pretty much no turning back. While I do like the confrontation with Sid on the other hand, I’m still satisfied that they toned down Woody’s behaviour and made him the more relatable.

Buzz is shown as the toy who takes his look far too seriously, starting off with the mindset that he’s a real space ranger. Even if he’s thinking he’s in an action-packed mission, he still has some likability as he takes the time to know the toys and befriend them. From the beginning, he thinks that Andy’s room is an alien planet and that he must find a way back to Star Command, which fascinates the toys but irritates Woody. Eventually, Buzz begins to see what he really is which crushes his whole perspective on life, but with a little help from Woody, sees the importance of being there for their kid that overall surpasses living in a fantasy world.

I loved the scenes with these two as they make the premise of a duo who dislike each-other work; Buzz frequently annoys Woody with his lines of space drama and the attention diverted to him makes the predecessor snap. But, it’s how the two eventually come to terms with one another and then work off each-other by the end in order to reunite with Andy. I especially love one scene where Woody praises Buzz for being superior and after seeing the trouble he’s put him through, admits that he should bare his doom. That’s a really great dive into Woody’s turmoil as well as a bold move for a main character to say, especially the one who threw the first punch.

The other characters consist of Andy’s toys who show loyalty towards Woody and then focus all of their attention on Buzz’s features. Each character has their own screen-time and is never to a point where they overstay their welcome: Hamm is the sarcastic piggy bank; Rex, my personal favourite, is an anxious T-Rex who tries to become a real dinosaur; Bo Peep the shepherdess is established as Woody’s girlfriend and acts as the only few toys to believe that Woody is still a good-natured person behind his mistake; Slinky Dog is Woody’s most loyalest friend and also tries to back him up when he’s confronted; then, there’s Mr. Potato Head who’s featured to be the jerky type who makes quick remarks on how Woody can be envious, where he appears to be the most confronting and aggressive out of the toys. I never found him unlikeable as I can see that he has some jealously for Woody’s status as Andy’s favourite, but even so, he does receive his comeuppance at the end.

There’s also the two kid characters who both show as complete opposites, one acting as the main source of importance while the other strikes fear into all. Andy is the happy and playful child who loves to play pretend with his toys and absolutely favours Woody and Buzz, going through stages of the Wild West and science-fiction. Sid on the other hand is the complete opposite where instead of playing with his toys, he destroys and then remakes them with different parts like Dr. Frankenstein. Even his actions were barbaric, Sid’s not particularly a villain as he’s just a kid at the end of the day. I’m sure a lot of kids acted like Sid back then, where they wanted to take some creative liberties. I’m not saying his actions were justified but you may know where I’m coming from.

Like Shrek, the movie offers a great celebrity cast where each gave an amazing performance and match their roles perfectly. Tom Hanks had such a quirky and likeable tone, increasing it greatly during the panicked and angered moments, while Tim Allen nailed the assertive and delusional type. There’s also Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn, Jim Varney, R. Lee Ermey, Annie Potts and John Ratzenberger (who began to lend his voice to many Pixar movies down the line) where each gave their character a lot of life and likability. Even the two child actors they had back at the time, John Morris and Erik von Detten, really gave their roles all they had, throwing such much personality into their characters.

It’s a childhood classic that I’m extremely positive a ton of people grew up watching this back then. For a start for Pixar, it definitely was a great beginning and to this day, marks the spot as one of the impactful films of animation history, gaining sequels, one being made today. Ever since its release, it spawned quite the impact amongst media with video games, a musical, spin-offs relating to Buzz and even its own theme park area in Hollywood Studios.

Final Rating: B+

9/10

[politemenacephd]

Question: So, if Miguel knows spider!reader in Arachnophilia, and spider!mig is mentioned in AFM, does reader know her own spider variant (personally or from Miguel/other spiders mentioning them) ??

I love both stories, and obvi the idea of Miguel & Reader being tied in several universes, but I was just curious on the idea of reader knowing.

oh im SO GLAD I get to talk about this THANK YOU SM cos its been on my mind for days!! I will use this chance to actually drop the dante fic cinematic universe timeline, which is: easing tensions - arachnophilia - a fortunate mistake - a fortunate mistake II There's certain things I gotta keep vague because I know how arachnophilia ends (and how it might tie into AFM II) and I don't want to spoil, but I'll talk about a bit because I'm rabid rn.

I wanna add for the sake of my lore on multiverse stuff, Miguel's who are turned into Spider-men are quite rare? I think this gets mentioned in AFM but Miguel's in general are rare, Spider Miguel's even more so. I took him saying Gabi's universe was the one where he was happy to heart, along with the fact we see zero variants of him in the society. That shit was always the most interesting thing to flesh out. I also don't know if I've ever talked about nena's multiverse story properly either, but its pretty tragic. She largely only exists in universes where Miguels' exist, and in all the ones where she comes into contact with him she dies. Our Miguel's universe is the only one where she doesn't, and Miguel blames this inititally on his canon but, as we know, canon isn't real, in reality it's because our Miguel was the only one with multi-verse experiences that humbled his apathy and violent tendencies. It's sort of like how meeting Miles put Peter B. on a better course, Peter's influence on Miguel is something no other Miguel had and it changed him in a way that made him capable of growing. Vig is the only other one we've met and it's obviously implied he was a poor partner who became a good dad after nena's death. Nena is like, universal collatoral damage, and it's only in the universe where she wasn't 'meant' to love him that she got to be loved. It's fucked up and she deserved better fr.

BUT I will say, to actually answer the question (sorry lol) the reader in arachnophilia is actually not a variant of the reader from AFM. I am sticking with the rule that AFM reader is never a spider, because its important later hehe.

BUT! But this makes Spider!Mig and readers relationship equally interesting to me anyway. I am a sucker for starcrossed lovers, excellent trope, and while it was meant to be a one-off I wanna use it to explore the idea of fully abandoning ones canon and exploring a relationship beyond the bounds of ones universe. I will be going more into Spider!Migs backstory for this, but I think the films never properly addressed the potential dangers/tragedy of love between people from different universes. I used it a bit with OG Miguel with my explanation for what happened with Gabi, E.g him trying to combine their universes, but this is especially spicy. So, again, actual question (I'm so sorry I swear this is all I think about, rip my PhD) as of AFM II reader also doesn't know about Miguel's variants beyond Vig, YET. Miguel is aware of Spider!Mig and reader as of AFM, and if you go back you can see a lot of his mindset in there, especially when he talks about not wanting kids because of his genetic mess and feeling like he's too dangerous.

Miguel as a character is great, I can't say that enough, he's harboring so much self loathing and unaddressed trauma that while he wants to do the right thing he imposes very strict rules that always end in hypocricy. In the same way I think he's awful to Miles because he see's Miles making the same mistake he did (e.g destroying the universe for a loved one) and a lot of his violence is like, imposed, he's awful to his variants because he knows he's fucked up his own moral compass and takes it out on them.

But yes Miguel knows where they are, he has not told reader though, but I do want to have them cross paths.

[thetribunaloftheimagination]

WIZARD OF SNARK REVIEWS- "The Electric State"

Hey, I'm back in the saddle! Been a minute since I did one of these... until I can once again get a decent AV setup, this'll have to do. In the meantime, please consider tossing a coin to your Wizard. https://www.patreon.com/guardiansofwhimsy What do you get when you hand The Russo Brothers, the fellas who've been keeping the Marvel Cinematic Universe humming for years (SHUT UP, THE MCU IS NOT COOKED, GO OUTSIDE AND TOUCH GRASS) a novel by Simon Stalenhag about an alternate 1990's that experienced a Robot Uprising where humanity is rotting on the vine thanks to addiction to VR-technology? You get "The Electric State," the latest Netflix original film and a fun, thought-provoking romp through an interesting blend of "Fallout," "WALL-E," "Ready Player One," "The Lawnmower Man" and a hefty "Screw You" to Silicon Valley tech-bubble douchebags deluded into thinking they're transhumanist god-kings! In an alternate-timeline 1990's that diverges from our world around 1955, in which Walt Disney created robotics-technology to promote his theme-park that eventually went sapient and started demanding equal treatment under the law until a war between Man and Machine was won by a tech-billionaire's VR-controlled "Neurocaster" drones, we find a girl named Michelle Greene (Millie Bobbie Brown) answering The Call To Adventure when a robot (voiced by Alan Tudyk) based on a cartoon enjoyed by both herself and her departed younger brother Christopher (Woody Norman) finds her and urges her to venture into the Robot Exclusion Zone, a No-Man's Land in the American Southwest populated by a new nation of defeated and broken robots, forced to live reservation-style by a treaty signed between robot-leader Mr. Peanut (yes, you read that right- MR. PEANUT, voiced by Woody Harrelson, as a robotic snack-mascot turned civil-rights leader) and Sentre Technologies CEO and creator of the Neurocaster technology Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci), where Michelle will find the doctor (Ke Huy Quan, proving he deserved that Oscar win from a few years back) who can reunite her with her brother. Along the way, Michelle and "Kid Cosmic" enlist the help of John Keats (Chris Pratt), a soldier turned black-market smuggler of goods recovered from "The EX" and his construction-robot buddy Herman (voiced by Anthony Mackie) and run afoul of Colonel Marshall Bradbury (Giancarlo Esposito), a robot-hunter and veteran of the Robot War known as "The Butcher Of Schenecktady." Yeah, I'll cut to the quick- this movie flat-out RULES. The Russo Brothers have proven themselves to be fiercely talented and imaginative filmmaker ever since "Captain America: The Winter Soldier," and here they prove their directorial-chops yet again. A tale of humans and robots, of technology run amok, and of machines more human than the average human- yes, even Mr. Peanut. MISTER. FREAKING. PEANUT. As "Robot Abraham Lincoln, by way of Martin Luther King Jr." Everyone in the cast came to play, including a voiceover talent-pool rounded out by the likes of Brian Cox, Hank Azaria, Jenny Slate, Billy Bob Thorton and NFL tight-end Rob "Gronk" Gronkowski. This movie pulls no punches, either in terms of action or in terms of its central themes of anti-escapism, robot civil rights and the lengths certain tech-"geniuses" will go to in the name of technological and scientific advancement. Ethan Skate proves to be as despicable as certain real-world tech-giants (y'all know who I'm talking about), even referred to by Bradbury as "less human than a robot." Exactly why would be telling... you'll just have to watch this and see for yourself. FOUR SPELLBOOKS OUT OF FOUR. Like the man said... "I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent meal." And "The Electric State" is an excellent reminder that workers are people too, and the most important connections human beings can make is with their fellow sapients.

[yuukei-yikes]

It’s me back in the ask box again for another super important question:

What “cringe” fandoms would the mekadan have been into as kids. Like we know Marry was a black butler girlie but I need to know the rest. Who was deeply invested in the fnaf lore, who was cosplaying as homestuck trolls, who was shipping creepypastas. I am desperate for answers only you can provide.

EXCELENT question. i ADORE this question.

ayano is into homestuck. used to role play warrior cats. loves the marvel cinematic universe, and just any superhero comic book stuff in general. canonically into jojo.

kido's is BANDS. specifically bands considered emo back in 2013 or something. my chemical romance. blink 189. black veil brides. that was their shit. also im sorry but they were a superwholock. sorryyyyyy i also think they'd be into medical dramas like grey's anatomy and dr house LMAO

i dont think seto did or does fandoms. i think seto goes outside too much. he's the only one who has no idea what being in a fandom is like, also the least online definitely (I'll get to mary)

kano would be into youtubers/celebrities. he's so into celebrity gossip it's impossible to talk to him he knows of names youve never even heard of.

like u said mary is a black butler girlie but i guess she could like other mangas... i also think she'd watch medical dramas with kido. BUT she doesnt internet so she has no idea about any of it she just lore dumps everyone instead about any book she's reading. she finds out black butler is actually animated and forces everyone to sit down and watch it with her

momo was the one shipping creepypastas btw. i also think she's a sims girlie she's obsessed with its lore and loves making ocs in there and ends up obsessed with her own sims families (commissions haruka a bunch)

shintaro is into magical girls animes. like any of them. but i also think he'd like some popular cartoons like steven universe LOLLL he was probably furiously defending pearl online. also i think he used to make youtube poops and sparta remixes when he was like 14

haruka and takane are the fnaf lore guys especially haruka i seriously think he arrives to school one day after he stayed up all night watching fnaf lore videos and told takane all about it. they're the ones lining up for the movie rn. they also probably roleplayed undertale together in highschool. also i think takane likes analog horror which is horrible for haruka bc i think he hates horror but he's also weirdly fascinated by it so he's watching through his fingers anything takane puts on lol. they tend to share their fandoms especially in hs because haruka was furiously googling anything takane mentioned to have conversation topics with her

hiyori's obviously into idols. i think like kido she loves bands too but she's from the directioner bts stan vibes. and hibiya i LOVE to make jokes abt him being into whatever 12 year olds are into (fortnite, among us, fnaf) and seriously i do love that and i think gamer hibiya is possible with the power of him making the effort to learn to use his phone and the internet bc all his friends live far away and in the process learns abt all that. but before that he was like seto he has no idea what it feels like to be in a fandom and cannot understand hiyori's visions. he's still not SUPER online though

i loved this question. more questions like this i beg

[denimbex1986]

'“Have you seen the sausage ad?” Andrew Scott asked me.

“No, no, we’re not going to talk about that,” Paul Mescal said.

It was a mid-November morning in Los Angeles, and I was having breakfast with two actors who have created some of the most indelible romantic leads of recent vintage: Scott, 47, played the “Hot Priest” on the second season of “Fleabag,” while the 27-year-old Mescal broke through — and broke hearts — as the conflicted jock Connell in Hulu’s “Normal People.”

Now, instead of aiming those love beams at women, they’ll point them at each other in the drama “All of Us Strangers,” due Dec. 22 in theaters. It’s like an Avengers-level team-up, if the Avengers recruited exclusively from the ranks of sad-eyed Irish heartthrobs who caused a sensation over the 2019-20 television season.

But before we could talk about their sexy, shattering new movie, Scott gently ribbed his co-star about an ad for an Irish sausage brand, Denny, that Mescal had starred in just out of drama school. (Though the rest of the world was introduced to Mescal in “Normal People,” Ireland already knew him from the ubiquitous sausage commercial.)

“Look, I needed that job in a massive way,” Mescal said. “That paid my rent for the rest of the year. But if I could take it back …”

“Ah, no, it’s lovely you have that!” Scott said. “I actually thought the character you created in the sausage ad was …”

“… career defining?” Mescal offered.

“It made me want a sausage!” Scott said a little too eagerly, causing both men to laugh. “Easy, folks, that’s too easy a joke,” Mescal said.

Scott and Mescal’s teasing, affectionate chemistry is put to excellent use in “All of Us Strangers,” directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend,” “45 Years”). Scott stars as Adam, a lonely writer who finds that his childhood home has become a mysterious portal that allows him to reconnect with his long-dead parents (played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). At the same time as Adam grapples with this past made manifestly present, he navigates an uncertain but tantalizing future with his neighbor Harry (Mescal), with whom he develops an intense romantic bond.

Over breakfast, we discussed the movie, which recently took the top prize at the British Independent Film Awards in addition to wins for directing, writing and Mescal’s supporting performance. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Andrew, you were attached to this movie first. How did you feel when Paul was cast?

SCOTT I was really thrilled because I was hoping that people would be able to see how cinematic and brilliant that role is.

MESCAL It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t be interested in it.

SCOTT Well, the character is such a vessel for love. To be able to play love, it’s something that you have to just know how to embody, and Paul is so excellent about being able to allow the audience in. When I heard he was interested, I was saying to Andrew, “Make that happen!”

MESCAL Even if I didn’t like the script or Andrew Haigh as much as I do, and I knew Andrew [Scott] was going to be doing the film, I still would have done the film.

SCOTT Would you?

MESCAL A hundred percent. And I know that probably sounds sycophantic, but when I was reading it and imagining you’d do it, I thought, “This is built for an actor of your caliber.” There’s lots of brilliant dramatic actors in the world, but what I think separates Andrew is his capacity to understand the dramatic requirements of a scene but also to play utterly against it. He finds humor in subject matter like this, which is really quite heavy, and if you can make an audience laugh, you’re halfway to making them cry.

This is a very tactile movie, too.

SCOTT There’s so much touching, whether that’s familial touching or a more sensual thing. People have talked an awful lot about the chemistry and the sex between our characters, but actually what I think is really radical and affecting about the relationship is how affectionate and tender they are with each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to play, isn’t it? Just real care.

MESCAL I find it healing to watch that kind of emotional intimacy. I remember being surprised when we watched it for the first time, because I didn’t remember being so close to your face when we were talking, how we were totally taking each other in. There’s a weird thing that I don’t think you can cheat: You know how when somebody you love is talking to you, and you look at their lips? It’s like, Jesus, I can’t remember doing that.

Andrew, you’ve said before that acting is a matter of revealing. What’s being revealed about you by taking on this role?

SCOTT I think an awful lot, if I’m honest. I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself, but it doesn’t take much to go back there — something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, “You’ve got a wife?” You could go, “No, I don’t,” or is that sort of a lie by omission? I think the challenge was to undo the work and go to that place where you feel frightened.

How were you able to emancipate yourself from shame?

SCOTT I genuinely think that acting helped me. When I was a kid, I started doing elocution lessons because I had a really bad lisp. “She sells seashells,” I had to say that 17 times a day. So they sent me to elocution, which was boring, but eventually it was speech and drama classes. I was so shy and terrified, but then someone would say, “Get up and do an improvisation,” and some part of me felt …

MESCAL … free?

SCOTT Free, and I loved it. And then I practiced it a little bit more and then started doing it as a job. When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident. To make something like [“All of Us Strangers”], it moves me, because I never thought that I’d get a chance to expose myself so much in a film like this or for it to be in such a trusting environment with such brilliant colleagues.

And do you rush headlong into the chance to expose yourself like that?

SCOTT I do. It’s my responsibility. The further I go into acting, I think that’s all it is, actually.

In the first scene you share, Paul’s character is boldly trying to flirt his way into Andrew’s apartment. Paul, it’s a kick to see you play a man so assertive and sure of what he wants.

MESCAL I was just so giddy because I don’t think I’ve got many opportunities to play somebody like that. It reminded me of characters I would have played in drama school — a lot more front-footed, a little bit bolder. Part of it was surprising an audience that might associate me with more interior, back-footed characters that I’ve played.

SCOTT I remember so clearly you saying the line, “There’s vampires at my door.” That line could seem completely preposterous and it’s a hard sell, but it’s unique, right? I’m obsessed with writing that has a real autograph about it.

MESCAL ChatGPT wouldn’t come up with that.

SCOTT Exactly. And human beings have an extraordinary way of expressing themselves. I feel the same way when people talk about big acting.

MESCAL I love big acting.

SCOTT Some people do that kind of polite, nobody-will-notice-me acting, and sometimes it can be a little dull.

MESCAL You’re looking for an opportunity to play something truthfully, but also if that truth can be a bigger, more fractious choice, maybe that could be fun.

What’s the biggest acting you’ve ever done?

SCOTT Oh my God. Pick a card, any card. I did a play called “Present Laughter” by Noël Coward, about a guy who’s an over-the-top actor. It was kind of a farce, and I’m obsessed with farce.

MESCAL I am so jealous of people who can do farce, I don’t know where I would start.

SCOTT It’s all about timing the slam of the door, and there’s no greater feeling than when you’re talking to the other actor and you are waiting for the audience to stop laughing. You’d love it because it’s so physical as well.

MESCAL I’m just a bit scared of comedy because I didn’t do a lot of it in drama school. Don’t think [I’ve got] a particularly funny disposition.

SCOTT Are you out of your mind? I’m going to have a little think now.

MESCAL I’d love to do a rom-com.

SCOTT I think you’d be very good at playing some sort of neurotic.

MESCAL Really?

SCOTT Yeah. I love those kinds of characters that don’t have a sense of humor.

MESCAL No sense of humor. Great. I can do that, I can do that easily. [Laughs.]

With “Normal People” and “Fleabag,” where you played romantic leads, how did you handle the intensity of the audience imprinting on you?

MESCAL I remember the first couple of months of that happening, I was like, “Jesus, what can I do?” And the answer is actually nothing. There’s nothing you can do about it if somebody wants to imprint or project onto you.

SCOTT That was all during the pandemic, wasn’t it?

MESCAL Yeah, yeah.

Was it better or worse that you were in your house for most of it?

MESCAL Much, much better. Even doing junkets when “Normal People” came out, I was really glad to do it within the confines of my own home. I could put the laptop down and nobody knew where I was.

Andrew, you weren’t trapped at home when “Fleabag” came out. Could you tell something had changed in the way people perceived you?

SCOTT It already happened a little bit when I did “Sherlock” [playing Moriarty] because that really does have a fandom. There were like a thousand people that would come to set, it was absolutely insane.

MESCAL Jesus.

SCOTT So “Fleabag" was completely different in that sense. It didn’t have the same frenzy.

Maybe not as you were filming it, but there was definitely a passionate fandom once it was released.

SCOTT There was, but I really enjoyed that because I love the show. I’m so proud of it and I loved that part, so I liked that it really affected people so much.

MESCAL Still! I watch it once a year.

Paul, you even dressed as the hot priest for Halloween.

MESCAL I did. That went down a bit of a storm.

When you have a breakthrough project like those two series, and you’re seen differently in this business afterward, is it hard not to get swept up by all the offers that come your way?

MESCAL I know what I like. I don’t have the confidence in myself as an actor to do something that isn’t good. I don’t think I can pull the wool over people’s eyes with bells and whistles in terms of performance, and I’m actually glad I can’t do that.

SCOTT But is it weird when you are in L.A. now? I opened up my curtains this morning, and there you are.

MESCAL Yeah, my Gucci billboard.

SCOTT That’s insane.

MESCAL It is bananas. Yeah, I’m really proud of that, but I’m also acutely aware the only reason that’s happening is because people are enjoying the work that I’m doing. It can all disappear, like that.

Paul, you’re currently working on Ridley Scott’s sequel to “Gladiator.” I’m sure you’ve been pursued for a lot of blockbusters, so what made you choose this one?

MESCAL I love the first film and I think Ridley is an all-time great, so that was a no-brainer to me. I don’t really have a desire to make lots of big films in my life, but if this was the only big film I was ever to make, I would put my name into the mix anywhere for that. I’m having a great time doing it, but I also think there’s an obligation to understand that I don’t want an audience to get bored of me, or expect me to do the big indie film every year or two, because they’re really hard to get right.

Which is hard to get right, the big film or the indie?

MESCAL A film like “All of Us Strangers” or “Aftersun.” I’ve been incredibly lucky that those scripts came across my desk because there’s lots of other indies that are really well intentioned that don’t reach an audience. Also, it’s hard to go to the emotional well year after year with stuff like this, so I don’t want an audience to get bored of my choices or expect that I’m going to do that.

SCOTT Do you remember you got the “Gladiator” call when we were on the set of “All of Us Strangers”? You were so excited. I think I was even more excited, but you were so lit up about it. I think one of the fun things about being an actor that’s open to you is that you can do whatever you really want.

MESCAL That’s what makes you tick, to go from scenes like we get to play in “All of Us Strangers” to then doing stuff where you’re running around in an arena. If I was to boil down why I love this job, it’s that you get to go to work and pretend all day long but the thing that you would imagine as a child is actually actualized.

SCOTT Have there been any moments in “Gladiator” where you’re like, “This is amazing”?

MESCAL The first day was just bananas. There was camels and thousands of extras. Two close-ups on me. A close-up on the action. And you’re just like, “I’ve got to fake this till I make it.” Wild. Wild. Wild.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s playing. It really is. You’re required to play a part, you’re not required to work a part.

It’s heartening to hear you both describe acting as play or pretend. You talk about it in such joyful terms, but some of the other leading men I’ve spoken to will …

MESCAL … fetishize the pain.

SCOTT It embarrasses them.

MESCAL It’s important to say that “pretend” doesn’t make it any less emotional or difficult to do, but I think it actually gives you a greater range of possibility in a scene. That’s not to say there weren’t days on [“All of Us Strangers”] that felt like some sort of psychological torture.

SCOTT Absolutely.

MESCAL But the act of making it? It can’t be that, because then it just becomes about “How hard can I grip this table? How much pain can I put myself through in order to talk about it to the press?”

SCOTT I think of it sometimes like you invited somebody around for dinner and you said, “I could not find any organic chicken in the market, it was an absolute nightmare. Then I had to hoover the place from top to bottom.” And they’re just like, “Give me a glass of wine. I don’t want to hear about what you did, I’m just here for dinner.”

MESCAL Yeah, that’s spot on.

SCOTT What you need to do is have the generosity to get the chicken out.

MESCAL Organic or not.'

[just-1other-nerd]

I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about the fact that the added "Who's the traitor" drama in episode 3 was a nice change.

When the episode started and Percy got the prophecy and learned about the traitor part, you could see that bit was bothering him. Naturally, a friend betraying him isn't understandable for someone who's fatal flaw is loyalty and it was great to see Percy trying to wrap his mind around that concept. (Top performance from Walker in this scene)

I kinda disliked how they dealt with this in the book by brushing it off as "Prophecies often aren't what they seem and their cryptic nature just the way it is, better not to thing about it too much". It took the weight from that potential danger.

In they show they then proceeded to make Percy choose Annabeth even though their relationship is very cold at this point but she is in fact very competent. And as it later turns out, Percy calculated the prophecy into his decision because he never thought they'd get along, thus she can't be a friend who betrays him. This is a smart choice on Percy's account, even though he's eventually proven wrong because they become friends.

And then there's Grover. When Percy goes to him to tell him his decision, it is framed by cinematic tricks as if Percy suspects Grover to be the traitor which is smart from a filmmaking perspective because this way they make him suspicious to the viewer and he would make a great mislead. It also would make sense that Percy would think this way because Grover already betrayed him when he got him kicked out of school and this way he'll see it coming. But then of course this turns out not to be true as well, in fact Percy had fully trusted Grover, even so much that he thinks he's the one person who'll never betray him.

And that once again made sense for Percy's character since paranoia isn't in Mr Loyalty's blood, he can't be walking around suspicious of everyone so he makes the choices that make him feel secure.

I think that the resulting drama of this conflict was so good for multiple reasons. This way the characters have to overcome internal and external struggles to be able to work together as a team and that makes their teamwork feel more earned. Their relationships become stronger by overcoming that conflict: Percy knows more about Grover's and Annabeth's backstories now and can understand them better, Grover knows that his best friend doesn't blame him anymore and trusts him and his abitity to do the job and the thing that stood between Annabeth and Percy is out of the way now, Percy and Annabeth are truthful about the offers Medusa and Alecto proposed towards them and show where their loyalty lies. The drama was also engaging to watch even if you know who's the traitor. I asked myself questions like how will this effect them, will they be able to move on? Credit to the writers for those excellent character dynamics and dialogue bits and to the actors for those stellar performances.

The changes make it so that the prophecy directly influences Percy and his relationships in the series and I really liked that especially compared to the book where a Damocle's sword of betrayal was hanging over his head and he just acted like it was almost nothing.

[cococowboah]

A review of The Dead Don't Die, because fuck this movie.

I can't figure out why in the world this is labeled as a comedy when the only funny thing about it is how awful it is.

Just to preface if you personally liked this film that's perfectly fine. But I have more than many gripes about it and I'm gonna talk about them now.

First off who on earth greenlit this? I consider myself a fan of Adam Driver and Bill Murray but if this was the first movie I ever saw them in I'd never want to see them in anything else ever again.

It was painstakingly slow-paced and lingered on scenes like a toddler waiting for you to stop doing the dishes so you could watch them do a Fortnite default dance. It demands your full attention without ever making any effort to earn it. It held itself like an instant classic without understanding what makes a film a classic, or even remotely good, to begin with.

My number one gripe is the fourth wall breaking. Adam Driver's character (I say the names of the actors because I couldn't be bothered to remember these extremely unmemorable characters names) apparently knows he's in a movie the entire time, keeps saying "this is gonna end badly" only to finally reveal at the end that he knows how it ends because he's "read the script."

Fourth wall breaking can work perfectly fine, in a comedy, of which this is not.

I don't know what this is. I don't even think this movie knows what it is.

My second gripe is the immense amount of characters we're introduced to who never pay off in any which way. Their introductions aren't funny or memorable or important whatsoever. They feel like they are merely there to add time to the movie.

You can cut out about 50% of this entire movie and you won't be missing a single thing. None of the characters except for Adam and Bill's ever hold any weight. For whatever reason Tilda Swinton is a sword-wielding Scottish mortician alien, who again, holds absolutely no weight to the plot. You can cut her out entirely and it wouldn't change a single thing about this movie. You could cut out Selena Gomez as the "cute hipster" entirely and it wouldn't change a single thing about this movie. You could cut out Steve "I'm the racist one" Buschemi and it wouldn't change a single thing about this movie.

Nobody in this movie matters. Nobody in this movie holds any weight. The plot goes nowhere, the protagonists -if you can even call them that- die at the end, nobody lives happily ever after, and according to the hermit in the woods, we "were all already zombies anyway."

There was this brief completely thrown away scene where the zombies were all shown walking around with smart phones and I wanted to throw my TV out the window after seeing it. It was such a heavy fisted nothing-burger of a scene with the exclusive goal of telling the audience they're like zombies if they use smartphones. Is it a joke? Is it societal commentary? Is it a mind bogglingly stupid scene that serves no purpose? The answer is up to you.

I hated this movie so much it's ridiculous. The fact that excellent scripts get passed up day after day after day because they're written by nobodies with no network or connections, yet garbage like this gets funded and filmed, is an absolute cinematic crime.

The only way I can suggest watching this is to do it with a buddy or two who will take the piss out of it with you. My husband and I did so and the only laughs we had were in making fun of how awful this movie was.

Rant over. Goodnight.