#can we talk about how fucking funny phil is?

[heyybeach]

Every time I watch post-coming out content from Dan and Phil I just feel like something is healing inside of me

It's hard to describe really, but they're clearly so much more comfortable and unrestrained. The gay jokes are flying out of them, and as someone who is out in some parts of my life and not out in others, I can relate to having all those jokes on the tip of your tongue but not always being able to say them

Here's where I get soppy. They make me feel warm and fuzzy and safe okay. They are my comfort millennials

[pseudophan]

most people are being chill about it and finding it funny but a few are legitimately upset with that radio host and god this is the fourth time i'm writing this because it keeps coming off really preachy and annoying but um. perhaps we as a fandom need to stop assuming everyone's out to get dan and phil, you know? not everyone has bad or selfish intentions, sometimes they're just misinformed, and that's okay. i think we should keep in mind that they've been asked couple-y questions several times during this tour and the only person they told to fuck off was the guy who basically went "i know you've said you don't want to talk about it but can you talk about it anyway". dan and phil are obviously aware of how they appear to the general public, i very much doubt they're upset with anyone for adding two and two together and getting four. sure you could argue poor research, but short promotional interviews for a tour are generally pretty surface level, and if you do surface level research on dan and phil what the hell else are you supposed to think is going on?

[danrifics]

good morning i have slept a total of 2 hours here’s my spoiler breakdown for terrible influence antwerp

they start by playing a text to speech voice who welcomes us and the straight boyfriends and the dads (they’re a bit obsessed with the dads i’ll be real) the voice tells us if we film she’s gonna sue are asses. text to speech lady she is an icon

dnp come out and they’re like yo this is cool it’s the first show, you guys are gonna see what we’ve been up to and then they’re like it’s the first show so we can use you guys to decide if we change anything

they they’re like there’s probably people in the audience who don’t really know us so they do a 15 years of dan and phil lore breakdown with dolls of themselves in little set of iconic dnp locations (made by pj and sophie btw) they put these sets in a table in front of a camera and it shows on the big screen, (for 1 section of this the screen doesn’t work for the first part lol) also phil makes the dolls kiss and they also make the dolls hump the breakfast bar cos of course they do

i can’t remember what happens next or maybe it jumps right into the next thing i mention

they play a game show called role model or no-model which is a madlibs style game where you have to decide if the version of dan and phil the audience creates is a role model or not these are compared to real dnp. we had homophobic furry lawyer dan and linguistics dr phil wo has a thing for hamsters. just an fyi for this dan is really good at hearing what the audience is saying and phil is not at all and im pretty sure he made his up cos he couldn’t understand what we wanted

okay so after this iirc they start talking about the youtube landscape and what they’re gonna do after tour and how to keep people entertained and they go on a little adventure through different genres of youtube like minecraft lets plays, vtubers and then they pretend to be mr beast and pretend to give away a bunch of stuff that they don’t have, they cure us of any mental health issues and they cure us from being gay <3

then they decide to have a boxing match cos obvs that’s what youtubers do, they ask us to cheer for whoever they want to win and it has cool intro to it! i’ll be honest this boxing match goes on for entirely too long like it spans the end of the first half and the start of the second but they have like choreographed fighting and OMFG it’s very gay and like suggestive and they do many times look like they’re gonna have sex 😂 like one of phils moves is to hit dan with his ass while dan is holding him from behind so… yeah. anyway dan thought he won ours and then phil knocked him out with a tv, as he should!! also before they end the first half they’re having an insult match where phils tells dan hes gonna burn his house down only for dan to say they live in the same house and i was dying it was so funny, phil also calls dan a dickhead and this is where he also calls him a cunt and that’s how the first half ends. oh also phil has a fake 6 pack on and that’s the $300 dollar silicone btw

okay second half after dan is dead they have a sincere moment and then they’re like you guys keep telling us you want load of long unedited content and they ask us to tell them a topic to monologue about and someone shouts feet and they rant about feet lmao phil excitedly tells everyone he has a better wiki feet rating than dan

then dan goes on a rant about being discriminated against as a millennial (can’t remember how we got there) and phil gets bored and starts watching subway surfers and i’ll be real honest as a gen z i instantly got distracted by subway surfers and didn’t listen to what dan was saying (that was the point tho) and phil keeps turning up the volume and dan gets mad and he storms off

we have a nice sincere moment with phil but idk what tf it was cos neither did phil 😂

then suddenly a voice, oh here she comes, she asks if we’re ready to confess our sins and out comes sister daniel, everyone fucking loses it, if you heard me screaming so loud no you didn’t.

anyway they read some confessions (phil is father philip) and they read out a few including one from @dnphobe !!! phil has a water gun that he didn’t have when he was meant to and couldn’t find and then found and he was spraying it at people to cleanse them of their sins which is what they meant by people being in the splash zone btw also phil sprayed it at dan it was kinda cute

okay so they say they need to go and get changed and they head off stage and there’s a gag where they leave the microphone on and they’re purposely making it sound sexual and it’s so funny and then dan comes out and phil doesn’t cos he’s struggling with his leather fucking trousers that was a completely unscripted part for sure

then they talk about the hiatus a bit and how dan left us and they keep calling us their family and brb while i cry my eyes out

then they pull out a fucking banger of a song, like i can’t even explain to you how good it is, it has a fully like kpop style dance to it that im gonna fucking learn lmao and dan was so good at it like im not even kidding that man was pulling moves!! phil was doing great too btw but he definitely wasn’t as confident in it as dan was but damn it’s the best song yet imo!!

also i forgot to write the conspiracy bit because i forgot where in the show it is but on one of them they were trying so hard to make us say the opposite one but we were literally forcing tour bus on them and yes they confirmed they shared a bed on that tour bus!! and they played it off like its okay for friends to do that (cos it is) but they way they said it was that thing again where they blur the line a little so we know what they actually mean but still pretend they mean something else

okay some little things i remember that i didn’t write above

- “i can’t imagine my life without you”

- “it’ll be 15 years in december” (if you know you know)

- the absolute silence after they confirmed the bed thing cos none of us were actually expecting it

- dan had to prompt phil a little to remind him what to say next but it was very cute

- they kept looking at each other in *that* way

- phil lied to us about when norman died cos he had norman merch coming out

- sleepless night with phil 3 is fake!!

- they showed *that* video of phil asleep on the tour bus

- there were multiple times where i thought they’re gonna kiss right now???

-phil called dan kinda sexy

- ALL IS FORGIVEN, ANYTHING FROM THE LAST WE MIGHT HAVE DONE IS FORGIVEN THEY LOVE US WE ARE A FAMILY THEY ARE LITERALLY OUR DADS

[dansevilpianotea]

bc dan acts SOO different now compared to wad. sth mustve really clicked in him after doing a solo tour. go watch any video/stream now from that era (ideally not dd bc that was a hightly conceptual character apparently) and you can see that he was trying so hard to be seen as someone else. to get approval from the wrong crowd, as he recently talked about dont get me wrong, i love wad the show itself, but you have to admit that dan hadnt really decided who he wanted to be seen as yet (in a post-coming out, post-phouse univers) before he went on tour, so the person he was during that era reflected that.

it was very hard for me to distinguish the dystopia daily persona to his usual online character because he hadnt really shown enough of that (at the time, post-coming out, mid-hiatus) to be distinguishable from his pre-pandemic, pre-ywgttn depressed lol xd dan character. he just wasnt around a lot. [i think thats what he got wrong with dd. he thought we knew him better than we did at the time but he also wanted to establish his independence from the dnp branding which unfortunately expressed himself as a form of resentment against people who still associated him with that (us phannies). this is why it felt regressive and made me sad, because the dd character seemed like an old, unhappier version of the same dan.]

but now.. look at how happy he is. he is smiling. dan is shining like the sun on a beautiful summer day and is fully embracing his past and his audience.

he doesn't feel the need to crack jokes about whoring it up all over america because he doesnt like commitment or making jabs at his audience for falling for clickbaity 'we are in a relationship'-type titles. he is not resentful anymore. he's not just laughing with us but he is IN on the joke now. he thinks we are funny! and in fact admitted that he doesn't really care about flirting with strangers and is oblivious to being flirted with because he doesnt have any need to.

it seems like he has healed a lot of old wounds regarding his audience. during wad he saw with his own eyes that we arent out to get him but in fact will support him in whatever he's doing. and now this new tour is the victory lap. he's taking phil with him. he is proud to be down bad for his man. 'no fucks left to give' for dan means not putting up the wall anymore protecting his inner child from what it fears are the bullies. he's doing it for himself now, for phil. for them. not for the attention of the wrong people. not for the approval of straight men like those who bullied him. he's doing it for his community of queer people. he knows he's safe here. he trusts us. 'we know you know'. i'm proud of both our community and proud of dnp for that. we really made ourselves get here despite how draining and back-and-forth the hiatus was. maybe the real phan really were the phriends we made along the way <3.

[thinking-emoji]

Ok contrary to my expectations I actually found the Today Show interview interesting for, like, a couple of reasons???

1. Other people have said this but the interviewer opening with "together for 15 years, how do you make it work", and Dan going through the turtle metaphor and then, with the widest grin, saying "professional relationship" - was SUCH a refreshing moment imo bc it didn't feel awkward at all!!! It's such a fun middle ground - giving the fans what they want (tortoises), giving the interviewers what they want (an answer), giving himself what he wants (control of the narrative and focus on the professional aspect), giving me, sophia thinking-emoji, what I want (feeling like I'm in on a joke) thank FUCK they've gotten good at media now after 15 years.

2. What Phil said about everyone being aware of internet content and professional content creators now. That's the one thing I noticed from the start. There was a post going around here earlier about phannies interviewing them vs non-phannies, and it was kind of based on those old interviews when journalists would ask "well what does a youtuber even do", and generally being disrespectful because they either didn't understand or felt threatened by new media - and I think that is pretty much gone now. Of course the tv presenters on Australia Today Extra know who dnp are and what they've done over the years. Not knowing that would be embarrassing! We're not wasting our time with the very basics anymore. You're allowed to just say hi and promote your show without having to justify your entire career now. Finally

3. The interviewer repeatedly trying to get more speaking time from phil, and dan ALWAYS rushing in to help phil wrap his answers up - and then at the end, Phil claiming that he "yaps too much" for tiktok. That's so fucking funny bc it looks like he's just blatantly ignorant of how he comes across as the guy who talks significantly less, but it's even funnier if you realise that it's probably true? If you leave Phil alone with a camera, I think he would talk for 10 hours but occasionally sit in silence for 20 seconds at a time, and that's why dan has to step in with these fast-paced interviews before phil can think of an answer of his own. We pretend they're one person but I find it fascinating how you can see their different approaches to communication in these interviews

4. Elise posting this on bluesky of all places unironically makes me happy. I'm still not on there but it feels like a small victory over elon musk specifically lmao. I hope more twitter phannies move and then in a few months we can completely replace twitter as a source, at least within our small fandom space

Edit. 5. I knew I had forgotten something over the 20 minutes of writing this and it's of course them willingly, openly and unprompted talking about being queer and having a queer audience on a show that is not decidedly queer! It's one thing to talk to Attitude mag or to a phannie about identifying as a twink and a third or so of your audience being trans, but honestly saying this on The morning show on national tv hits, dare I say it, different

[freckliedan]

could you expand on your thoughts why you think dan and phil havent always been monogamous? super curious! i kind of get the same vibe.

i'm happy to expand on it tbh! it's something i think and talk a lot about with my friends.

i'm hesitant about going in depth because i've found that's when people find it okay to say deeply shitty things to me, a polyamorous person, under the guise of academic debate/it just being a difference of opinion. but i'm also not going to let the possibility of that stop me?

ANYWAYS.

quite honestly the biggest thing for me is just. taking dan and phil at their word? even when parsing something true through them saying things in silly ways that's the easiest way to be right about them.

we noticed and believed in the underlying truth in their gay jokes before they were out. people are willing to entertain the bondage and mpreg and various other horny jokes as containing some kernel of truth. more people than literally any point in time are willing to believe there's some substance to dan's career-long mentions of gender.

but for whatever reason (mononormativity) the comments about them being attracted to/flirting with/being interested in other people get written off as 100% joking and funny because they're the most monogamous people ever & because they get jealous easily. and that just? sucks.

i think they've always been committed. like, phil brought dan home to meet his parents at their very first christmas together type committed. planning to spend the rest of their lives together from 3 months into the relationship committed.

but also like? that coexists with the fact that dan wasn't able to come out to himself as gay until the lead up to basically i'm gay. 2018 or maybe 2017, i think. @freckliephil or @phulge has brought up the idea to me before that part of why they didn't label their relationship to us in 2019 may have been because they were still in flux with labeling it for themselves.

dan has also always had commitment issues due to how he saw his parents' relationship function/due to his home life growing up and i'm NOT going to elaborate on this one but it is so obvious.

(consider this whole post informed by conversations with aries and roper btw).

i think the idea that dan and phil were secure in their connection but not in a place where they had to (or could, on dan's part) ascribe labels to it in the early years is realistic?

and i think their commitment and security can coexist with the idea of like. "i think it's hot seeing you kiss other people for attention at parties and come home with me". + i genuinely think the fantastic foursome explored each other's bodies on the italy trip. etc.

i definitely think there would've been huge stretches of monogamy, and i do think that there was jealousy before they found their footing and felt comfortable in their commitment. (different rant, but i think most of what gets read as jealousy these days is them dong a bit/possessiveness).

but i think there's also always been points in time where they were either theoretically or in practice fine with having sexual experiences with other people. that wouldn't've really been possible during their deep closet era, and i don't think it was COMMON beforehand.

but i also think that it's definitely something possible after they came out.

i think people hear me say this and assume i'm degrading the incredible and beautiful love and commitment dan and phil share. that i'm reducing queer men's relationships down to sex only.

but like. i'm not fucking doing that! the people making those assumptions are doing that! and saying a lot about how they view non monogamy too!

i'm saying i think they're so secure in their love and relationship that they're literally completely unbothered and not threatened by potentially having an open relationship. devotion is not only present in monogamous relationships.

WAD makes sense as a point of post coming out timing for another open period in their relationship to me. quite honestly i could see phil being the one to suggest it to dan? 2019 thru the close of WAD was dan's self actualization era.

growing up in the context of a single committed relationship does things to you psychologically. your identity formation happens side by side with another person and even if the relationship isn't controlling and toxic you can really lose sight of your individuality, if you're not careful. this is even easier to have happen if you share all of your friends, live together, AND work together. ESPECIALLY if you're significantly closeted in some way.

i know this because i've also lived it. believe me when i say dan NEEDED to figure out who he was as an individual. we saw him do that in several iterations artistically/careerwise. but we also saw his interest in experiencing queer culture in ways he missed out on when he was young and closeted.

so i think dan actually WAS on the apps, when he was touring WAD. i wouldn't be surprised if that was phil's idea, even. a "don't worry, go see the world, we've been open before, i'm not worried you won't want to come home to me, nobody's gonna match your freak like i do". i think phil would've had the option too but probably would've taken it less.

and i think it's like. like they're best friends! it's something they would've been talking about with each other. i think it could've been foreplay to them sometimes. i think it could've been what catapaulted dan into his top era. (this is a seperate essay from drs. frecklie, frecklie and phulge as well).

most importantly we think dan came back from the first leg of WAD having completely exorcised his fear of commitment and. wait i have to find a specific message. nevermind you're getting 3 screenshots without any further context

anyways. i can't find the specific point where we said this so it was maybe an in person conversation but the rest of the idea is that experiencing other options resulted in dan coming back from WAD and proposing. and phil proposing the gaming channel return right back. we 1000% said this before phil mentioned that he's the one who suggested the gaming channel return i just can NOT fucking find receipts on that because we largely voice message.

this has been an entire ramble that touched on a lot of different subjects but. yeah. dan and phil aren't polyamorous in the "both dating another person as a couple/other people as individuals" sense nor will they ever be. but there's sooo much room between that and strict monogamy.

and a lot of that in between is in perfect alignment with the ways they've talked about their lives over the years and is yet another extension of them having a level of trust love and intimacy in their relationship that most people will never experience. so

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[blossoms-phan]

tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3

hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show

my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe

the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe

role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil

phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure

i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao

the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol

they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not

oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶

and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever

sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo

the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.

this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3

(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)

[nerdysleepybunny]

Hallo! im new here so please let me know if i cross any boundries.'

anywho, I was wondering if i could request a platonic philza and/or techno comfort? ive had bad few days :(

Have a wonderful day/night!

I APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING TO THIS SO LATE!! I literally love dsmp asks even though the fandom is dying off, so this definitely isn’t crossing any boundaries! I hope you’re doing better. My dms are open if you ever need to chat! :D

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): DreamSMP

Character(s): Philza, Technoblade (ft. Mumza & Chat)

Reader: Gender neutral (you/your)

Style: Hcs

TW: N/A

Summary: How Philza and Technoblade (separate) would comfort you!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Philza:

I feel like he’s the type to just know you aren’t doing well before you even say anything.

Like, you’re just sitting there in your feels, then suddenly?

BOOM CONCERNED DAD RIGHT IN YOUR FACE

“Are you okay, mate?”

“Do you need anything?”

“Here, let’s sit and have a chat.”

Literally shooing chat away so it’s just the two of you having quality time together.

Would sit down next to you on a couch, but probably wouldn’t initiate any touching. The most I see him doing is a shoulder pat or a hand rubbing your back.

Of course, he wouldn’t mind you leaning on him or embracing him! He just doesn’t want to touch you in case you want your space :)

If you want to talk about it he’s there to listen and offer wise old man advice (if you call him old while you’re upset, it’s the ONE time he won’t get defensive about it)

Like

He’s just talking giving you some advice about your problems, then he hears you snickering

“What’s so funny?”

“You sound so old right now, Phil.”

Usually he’d shout his usual “I’M NOT OLD/I’m only in my 30’s, mate…” (I’m pretty sure he’s canonically thousands of years old but shh let grandpa be delusional)

But now? He’d just chuckle and shake his head

“Whatever you say, mate.”

DON’T EXPECT HIM TO BE SOFT FOREVER, IT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE CURRENTLY SAD

After you’ve concluded your venting/told him that you don’t want to talk about it

You know what time it is…

DISTRACTIONS!!!

Pillow fort anyone? He’s giving pillow fort vibes.

He’s a dad, so obviously he’d just do all the work and build it for you. Again, only because you’re sad. Any other time he’d yell at you for not helping.

Speaking of sadness

Don’t let Phil’s wife see you sad…

OH NO YOU’RE SAD? NOW MUMZA IS SAD AND IS RUSHING TO COMFORT YOU

Mumza is the type to cry when she sees someone else crying, so now both of you are just sobbing together and Phil is there trying to comfort the two of you but is an overwhelmed old man and may end up crying himself

Uh… cry party?

Either you all end up making fun of each other for crying which results in you all laughing together, or you just cry till you get sleepy and pass out on the floor together.

What an interesting way to family bond.

Technoblade:

So you seek The Blade for comfort, the most monochrome and nonchalant man on the server. What a wonderful decision, reader! /lh (I’d do the exact same)

If you’re a Technoblade fan you’ve definitely heard the “it’s fine” audio.

Now I can either be wholesome and say he’d hold you close and whisper that everything will be okay to you

Or I can be silly and realistic and say that he’d pull out a phone and just play the audio with a blank face, but is laughing on the inside due to your “what the actual fuck” face.

Okay now for some actual comfort!

As we all know… Technoblade isn’t exactly good at comfort.

He kills orphans for a living, how do you think he’d react seeing someone crying like a child?

He’s standing looking at you with a look of “why is this creature screaming” and “wtf do I do”

“Uh… you good? You okay? You, uh… need a hug…?”

Very awkwardly holds his arms out for a hug, and if you accept, he even more awkwardly pats your back.

If you got his shirt wet with tears, he’d DEFINITELY comment about it

“Are you seriously ruining my shirt? How are my enemies supposed to think I have a good fashion sense now?!”

Goes into a rant about how he needs to look his best and how it’s a good strategy to beat his enemies in battle while you’re kinda just there… honestly are you even crying anymore?

You’ve stopped crying ages ago, and he’s still just talking

In conclusion, Technoblade is good at calming people down without even trying (I was literally having a breakdown and all I needed to do was listen to the silly pig man talk about Greek mythology. It must all be part of his master plan…)

Speaking of listening to his voice, here’s a scenario.

“Technoblade, can you read to me?”

“…what?”

“Read to me.”

“I’m not reading you a bedtime stor-“

“I wanted you to tell me about Greek mythology.”

“Fine. Come here.”

Long story short, he starts by reading you just one story. That one story turns into the entire history of the Greek gods and goddesses… yeah you pass out pretty quickly. But Technoblade isn’t one to stop mid-ramble. Once he notices you’re asleep, he’ll continue talking, just quieter. He’ll eventually get sleepy himself, and soon enough… you’re both asleep.

Works like a charm!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

[simplydnp]

Hii as a passive fan looking in from sidelines, I read something along the lines that Dan and Phil did come out like few weeks apart but they haven’t confirmed or denied that they are in a relationship? I am confused as what is the official narrative from their side, can you clear this for me please.

I have no doubt of them being together just confused about official timeline, xx

dan and phil are embracing the ambiguity that is brought to them under the 'we know you know' mindset

you're correct in that they came out a few weeks apart (though, phil kind of did in his tweet supporting dan on the day dan came out)

it's funny you ask this, as we do have a recent answer to a reporter about their relationship:

this is the first time they've really been asked this since coming out, but it's important to note the context here: they're talking to a new zealand reporter, about their tour. to me, it reads as an aggressive fuck off signal to the media. ie, this topic is off-limits. so 'officially' their stance is that their lives are private.

unofficially? there's a year's worth of dapg videos that carry heavy implications. it's a lot of reading between the lines, it's a lot of interpreting jokes, it's a lot of paying attention to things both Said and not said. from explicit sex jokes to earnest moments to even specific games they've played, it's easy for an audience to pick up the clues because we're looking for them--cause dan and phil tend to put them there for us. it is important to note that there has been a significant change in tone of the gaming videos from the past vs the gaming videos now. while the language and the types of jokes have changed, so has the dynamic--in the best way possible. they're much more free and relaxed on camera now, both an intentional choice and the result of being out for 5 years.

they've got a mortgage together, alright?

in terms of them not directly commenting on it--at least at this point, it just makes things easier. they aren't usually on tour so reporters aren't usually asking them these questions, but even beyond that, they're incredibly internet famous. even they themselves were surprised about quote "how many people were horny for dan and phil in 2024". and sure, it isn't the same numbers as pre-hiatus, but there's definitely still a lot of people here. so while we champion for a hard-launch (since they keep moving closer) we also know that it's bigger than just saying it. it would be everywhere. everyone would have something to say. and then it's not about the content anymore, it's the relationship (though, one would argue their chemistry makes the content, but i would say their connection adds to it, but isn't the commodity they specifically sell)

in terms of the timeline in particular, we're days away from 15 years of dan and phil, in that they filmed and posted pinof 1 in 2009 at the end of this week. they've never intentionally specified any other anniversary, so we don't know (though we have suspicions), but it's unlikely it took That long to get there. coming out was the next Biggest step, one could argue, and you're right about the timeline of weeks between videos. what i reckon that's important to note is that dan 'appeared' in a phil video surprisingly soon after june, despite not having made any other videos since christmas of the year before. even though it was just his voice, it was enough. there were 4 ish years of limited joint content between them, but it did happen (mostly stories and podcast style things), up until the return of dapg last october. since then, there's been regular dapg uploads (crazy phrase) and dan's either been directly in or mentioned in every single amazingphil video since the return. it depends how much you think implications and indirect phrasing are evidence/signifiers, but there's been a Lot that's come out of gaming videos in particular that Mean Things to the fans, but aren't something able to be captured by the media and ran with (though, one article did see the 'dan and phil are getting divorced' title and reported on it as if it were true, despite it just being an 'it takes two' video)

[missycolorful]

The scene with q!Forever and q!Philza at Global spawn in Pugatory is something that will always kinda sit in the back of my head. Because it truly, truly solidifies the strength in their dynamic, and neither of them will probably realize it lol. Hello, I'm here to be insane about q!philever, so buckle up

Like everyone else, q!Phil was dealing with a lot in Purgatory. He began to lose trust in close friends. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to save his children. While trying to uphold his morality and not kill except in self-defense, he was very much walking a fine, jittery line. All while trying to keep his team organized and motivated. Aside from kind of losing his mind like the others, there was no clear indication that Phil's composure was dangling by a loose thread.

But then he's allowed a moment of peace to exchange information with another team. It's just him and Forever. No kills planned, nothing. Just two people allowed to talk about the absurd situation they've been thrown into. A moment to really take everything in.

During the conversation, Forever doesn't hold judgement toward Phil or anyone else due to the event, even when he comments on Philza's kill on Rivers. Even when Phil tries to justify his actions, Forever doesn't hold it against him. It's hard to say exactly how important this is to what happens next, but I feel like it means something here.

It's when q!Forever says that once they leave Global Spawn, that they become "enemies" again, this is when q!Philza breaks. And I think this moment has been glossed over by many (I want more fan art, dammit >:T) cause it doesn't feel big on the surface. It's not like cc!Philza genuinely sounds heartbroken, his cries sound... a little exaggerated/dramatic, you know? What he cries about isn't anything groundbreaking, it's what many of them feel ("I don't want to be here." "I don't want to kill my friends."), even though Phil fans can sense a deeper meaning here. And after Forever briefly consoles Philza ("Everything is going to be good. This is what we need to go through."), Phil, like a flick of a switch, is right back to his composed, level-headed self. It was like that moment never even happened.

But it did, and it drives me crazy that he did it in front of Forever. cc!Phil made that conscious choice to have his character lose composure, his character that he and his fans knows is an emotionally constipated motherfucker. And the reason it drives me nuts is because how the fuck did we get here?

I can imagine this scenario with lots of characters, and it never plays out like this (i.e. with Tubbo, he'd likely just keep it all in. Et cetra.). I don't see him letting himself be this vulnerable around most others. Hell, before this, I never would've imagined he'd do this in front of Forever, either.

But the more I think about it, it kinda makes sense.

Phil and Forever's relationship is a funny one. Early on, Phil wouldn't trust Forever with a toothpick. He'd never be emotionally open with him. Forever even held a bit of animosity toward Philza after Phil'a final rejection. But that rocky start is honestly a huge part of why it is as strong as it is now. Cause, well, the strength of any relationship comes from accepting all parts of a person. Flaws and all.

Some characters hold Philza up on a pedestal (i.e. q!Missa). They don't really see his flaws. They don't think about his ugly sides. They just see a pillar of a man who is always willing to help, who can do anything and everything, who keeps composed and lighthearted and level-headed in any scenario. q!Forever was kinda like this, at one point.

But Forever realizes that isn't the case eventually. Because Phil's not great at dealing with emotional situations, and Forever learns that the hard way. Phil's not good at talking about feelings, he can be blunt and a bit harsh, because he's a pragmatic sort of guy. But it takes a softer, gentle approach to reject someone, and Phil wasn't ready for that. So, in retaliation to the hurt Phil caused him, Forever had a conflicted relationship with him. It didn't last long, but I digress. This brief shift in their relationship was for the better. By not placing him on this pedestal anymore, Forever began to see Philza in a different light. One that didn't cast Brunim in its shadow.

With Philza, Phil saw Forever at, arguably, his worst in the beginning. Obsessive, threatening, clutching onto a pipe dream with no regard for Phil's feelings. But over time, Phil got to see the much more real sides of Forever. When Tallulah lost her first life, when Forever made NINHO. He saw a passionate and intelligent side to this guy who was obsessed with him, and he respected that person. And with this recognition, he offered his trust to Forever, such as giving one of his presidential votes to Forever.

Both of their perspectives for the other changed throughout the first few months, and I believe they gained some level of appreciation between them because of that. They share this newfound respect and trust. And that is the core to their new relationship. Consistently, Forever and Phil have given each other open and mutual respect and trust. Never is either of these things taken for granted, abused, or manipulated in any way.

When Forever is hooked on the happy pills, he subconsciously seeks out Philza's help, which Phil offers with ease. Before Forever goes to the Nether, Phil expresses his worry and wants to help. But he doesn't push, because he respects Forever's agency, and trusts that Forever is doing what he thinks is best. (also during this scene, when Forever gave him access to the warpstone in that secret part of his base, only Forever and Richas had access to it beforehand, which feels like a big moment according to his fans, so! :D). So when Forever returns to the Nether, while he doesn't believe Fit and Pierre when they say they tried to save him, he absolutely, 100% believes in Philza.

Because he knows Philza by now, and Philza knows Forever. Maybe not on equal levels, but still. After merely a few months, they've slowly begun to understand each other a bit more. So I guess it's only natural that they'd be more open around each other.

I'd even argue that this isn't the first time Philza lets down his walls around Forever. It just didn't happen when Forever was awake.

I wouldn't say that Phil talking to Forever while he was in a coma is the same level of vulnerability as the scene in Purgatory. Because Phil wasn't totally direct with his feelings, he sort of deflected (the story, banging the pots and pans, calling him an idiot, etc). Hell, even when he is expresses how he feels, he's not entirely direct: "We just really care about you. We wanna see you come back. You're making us worry." Like, of course everyone cares, but to say this as we when it's just the two of you obviously feels like a moment of vulnerability but not wanting to admit to it. Cause, hey, under different circumstances, he absolutely would've committed to visiting Forever in the hospital every day. Still, his very open worry did give off a sense that his walls were crumbling.

So with all of this, if Philza can meet with someone alone in practical hell, and that someone, a person he openly trusts and cares about, can look him in the eye and say "I don't judge you" on the things he's has done, maybe that allowed the floodgates to open for a bit. Maybe once Forever said they'd be enemies outside those doors, the situation hit Phil like a truck, and he just couldn't keep it in anymore. And maybe knowing it was just the two of them, Phil knew he could be a person around Forever, not a leader or a mentor or a force to be reckoned with. And Phil really needs someone on equal footing with him like this. He needs someone he can feel safe around. So for him to find this in Forever, of all people, even if it's just for this moment, is extremely important to me.

The way their relationship has progressed, perhaps it would've been simply a matter of time for Philza to be open with Forever. I dunno when Phil will be quite so open around Forever again, but I do say when with a fair enough of certainty (or I could be wrong and I'm simply talking straight outta my ass but who knows). Because to have this moment with Forever was intentional, even if it feels like a blink and you miss moment. It may have been under a minute, it may not feel important to other viewers. BUT to me, it genuinely says so much about their relationship, how far they have come, and where they are now.

[keline11]

Missa and Roier Discussion.

(Long post with a lot of text. "Mucho texto")

Missa was telling roier that he lives with tallulah, chay and phil, so roier got a little mad/upset that missa wasn’t going to live in the mexican village.

Missa: (about his house)"a beautiful house, beautiful."

Roier: "no, well, you can stay there! you can stay there if you want!!"

M: "No, you don’t understand, they are making the house bigger so there could be a guest room in case that you want to go. But you're being aggressive, asshole! I was going to invite you to-"

Ro: "Nonono I thought that you were going to live with the Mexicans instead of going with them."

M: "no, I am going to work with the Mexicans, 8 hrs a day, it’s going to be like I live here."

Ro: "aah you are going to work with the mexicans and then go with the americans"

M: "well, first they are british."

….

Ro: "well, but let’s see, if at any moment they throw you out of the house you can live here."

M: "ok ok, I don’t think they’ll kick me out but-"

Ro: "Uuuuy you are a fucking sugar baby, you are a parasite!"

M: "You don’t understand. I am still poor, I don’t want to be like that forever, I want to help in the house."

They talk about the mission of building a house, so missa decides to build a vacation home in the mexican village.

M: "Chayanne, tallulah, I am going to build a vacation house here, in latam, ok? only for vacation-"

Ro: "to live here with the fucking idiots-"

M: "(In home) When we feel relaxed with a lot of peace, we can come here and feel danger."

Ro: "aah I see, you are the typical uncle that goes to live at the US."

Tallulah: "you can live where you want, it’s ok :D"

M: "nonono, if I can live where I want, I want to live with you guys. ok?"

Ro: "nonono it’s ok, it's understandable that you betray the homeland."

Missa liked something of the house

Ro: "see you could live here but no, you preferred to be with the british, it’s ok, it’s understandable, it’s totally understandable that you betray the homeland. It’s understandable! that you prefer the people that speak *british accent*, you like it more, no? well it’s ok there’s nothing wrong."

M: "well where can I build my house?"

Ro: "NO, NO, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE!!"

M: "I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT ME HERE OR NOT!! I AM GOING TO BUILD MY HOUSE!"

Ro: "YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE DAMMIT!"

M: "I AM GOING TO BE THE ANNOYING NEIGHBOR THAT-"

Ro: "NO-"

Rivers: "Hello?"

R: "Rivers, hi"

M: "Rivers, how are you?"

Ri: "Hello!"

Ro: "We were fighting! but come in."

Ri: "Why?"

M: "Yeah, you are always welcome."

Ro: "Because guess what? He betray us! 'They change us shrek!'" (reference?)

Pepito: "Hello :-D Sounds like latam here D:"

M: "We are in latam that’s right. (to roier) It doesn’t sound like this in the house of the fucking british you say! There smells like flowers, it is pretty, relaxing, peaceful, and here? here are only screams!"

Ro: "Look, look you are right! Felipe smells good, he has a lot of money, he likes takis, and he is so handsome! eh? and he smells good again! but here we are the mexican brothers *sings 'méxico en la piel'*"

M: "Hey dude, I was going to build my house here but your house is in the middle. Can you remove it?"

Ro: "ok, I’ll do it."

M: "thank you-"

Ro: "NO! I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT, FUCK!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE!! ASSHOLE!"

Missa is looking for a place to build the house.

M: "I am going to put it this way."

Ro: "You are not putting any house anywhere, asshole! Did you hear me?"

M: "shut up, shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up."

R: "Shut the fuck up you, fucking bitch, did you hear me? get the fuck out of my territory. *doing a funny voice* 'I don't fucking want you here, Get the hell out of here you bastard.'"(reference2)

Missa starts working.

Ro: *reading pepito sign* "'Apa what happened?', No pepito here, HERE! NOTHING HAPPENED! NOTHING, JUST THAT THERE'S AN UNCLE THAT IS AN ASSHOLE! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! 'we moved out to china that’s what happened!'" (reference3)

M: (to chay and tallulah) "don’t pay attention, he is a little sick."

Roier makes an alarm type sound.

M: "Roier, it's that the call- the call for…?"

Ro: "It's the call for you to get the fuck out of here!"

M: “I already made my house. Do you want to see? I am your neighbor”

Ro: “This shit is not staying here”

M: “Ha-ha-ha I already put the door”

Ro: “Fuck”

Missa needed glass for the windows so he took roier’s furnace, but roier had gold in it.

Ro: “Hey! what the fuck? you motherfucker! My experience! ajsdnkajnskd!!” *screams nonsense*

M: *in his house*“It’s private property you can’t enter!”

Ro: “Hey stupid! my bread! motherfucker!... well keep it fucking poor”

M: “It wasn't bread it was gold, take it”

Ro: “What? gold? give me the fucking gold!”

M: “relax man, it’s not that serious”

Ro: “Fuck you, I thought that it was bread and i was going to give it to you, fucking poor”

M: “But you realize, true friends forgive each other”

Ro: “Fuck you, you live next to me, fucking ugly house you made only to take up space, fucking monopoly looking ass house”

M: “What are you talking-? yeah, it looks like snoopy’s house”

Ro: “Put the fucking furnace idiot”

M: “Don’t worry i’ll make you another one” *starts mining the blocks of roier’s wall*

Ro: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?”

M: “I AM MAKING YOU ANOTHER FURNACE!”

Ro: “BUT WHY DID YOU TAKE STONE FROM MY WALL? YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

M: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE VERY STRANGE TODAY!"

Ro: "THE STRANGE ONE HERE IS YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!”

M: “WHAT IS WRONG? WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Ro: “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! GO WITH FELIPE! GO WITH FELIPE!

M: “I MADE YOU ANOTHER FUCKING FURNACE! THERE IT IS!"

Ro: *cursing him in words that are weird to translate*

Then they go explore like a latam family.

"END?"

[simplepotatofarmer]

Sixteenth Day Event Prompt:

Alienation & Spite

tuesday morning, 8:47 a.m.

characters: technoblade, dream word count: 1,541

I've been in this room before.

The last time, ages ago, it was brief. Techno had practically rushed me out after ringing the bell a few times. That felt like something that had to be done, some stupid ritual that you signed up for the moment you stepped into the cabin. He had come back, a little later, and made sure I wasn't watching as he opened the secret chest in the back of the room.

I knew where it was. I could go over right now and open the chest and take whatever the hell I wanted and Techno wouldn't stop me. It wasn't a secret anymore and that felt...

It felt shitty for no reason. Of course he didn't bother hiding those things anymore. I've been living in his house for months, what was there to hide? But fuck man. He could at least pretend things were normal.

Ugh.

Rolling over, I shoved one of the pillows into my face and resisted the urge to scream. If I did, Techno would hear. He would climb up the ladder and ask if everything was alright and I would lie. I should feel bad for lying; I know he's trying to help but I don't want help, I want to be left alone.

It's easier. No one gets that. No one understands that everything still hurts or that I feel wrong without a potion or that food makes me want to vomit or that I don't want to leave the cabin. I don't even want to leave the room.

Techno calls it wallowing. Maybe he's right. Maybe I don't care.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the sunlight reflecting off the bell and block of emerald. Something about that makes me angry. I've been angry a lot, I guess. It knots in my chest and I want to tear it out. I want to punch something. I want to punch myself. I settle for dragging my nails against my skin until its red and stings. It doesn't calm the anger that's making my eyes water. Without thinking, I throw the pillow across the room, at the bell.

It makes a low chiming sound and I groan.

As expected, a few moments later, Techno pokes his head up, arms resting on the floor. He's worried. I tug my sleeves down over my arms, hiding the scratches. Not that Techno would be mad. That's the problem. He'd understand. He'd say it's okay and it's not.

"Hey, Dream. You rang?"

It was funny and I have to fight the smile.

"No. That—That was an accident."

His eyes slide towards the bell and sees the pillow on the ground.

"Ah."

I don't say anything.

"How about you come downstairs, man? I'll make you some breakfast."

I still don't say anything. I stare at the ceiling.

"C'mon on man."

He talks so softly, the same way he does to his animals and it's another thing I want to be pissed about except I've heard him use the same tone with Phil, with Ranboo or Niki.

So stupid.

I want things to be normal but it is and I'm still mad.

"I'm not hungry," I lie. I'm starving. I want a potion.

"Alright." Techno reaches out and tugs the blanket up over me. He's stretching precariously. "How about we make a deal? I'll leave you alone for a bit but you've gotta promise to come down for dinner."

His words hang in the air a bit and I roll my eyes.

"Or what?"

Techno laughs.

"Or I'll carry your scrawny behind downstairs my dang self," he says.

I believe him.

"God. Fine, Techno."

He laughs again.

“See ya later, Dream.”

His head disappears back downstairs. Already I regret agreeing to his stupid deal. He won’t actually drag me downstairs if I change my mind, I know that. I roll over the other way, facing the ladder. On the bedside table is a bottle of water and Techno’s communicator. Mine is gone and has been since Sam took it. I reach over and grab Techno’s. It’s only 8:47 a.m. Dinner is a long way off.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I’m worried.

It’s kinda hard not to be worried when you have a man in your bedroom who’ll barely move and barely eat. I don’t mind. Well, I do, just not in the way Dream thinks I do. He thinks I want him out, gone out of my life. I had to fight against his idiotic plan to fake a parting of ways while we were in prison. The only thing I want is—

It’s lame, chat, I know.

I want him to be okay. The first few weeks, he hardly moved because he couldn’t. He wasn’t in any kind of shape. The thought of what happened to him in that cell after I left haunts me. How can you make up for that?

I pull the raw beef out of the ice chest. A good steak is a start. I wouldn’t have made something that required so much chewing a couple months ago but Dream’s jaw had healed. And I know he’s a steak man when he’s not relying on potions or golden apples. I’ve caught him sneaking both after days of refusing food.

Fighting the urge to keep walking over to stand at the bottom of the ladder is the hardest part. I want to go back up and check on him again. He had been quick at pulling his sleeves down but I saw the marks on his arms. If I had said something, it might have made him withdraw even more.

I’ll make him a cake.

I have no idea if he’ll eat it but he might. It’s something to occupy my time and something to do to show him I care. He knows, he’s gotta know by this point but sometimes he lays there like he doesn’t know anything anymore. I don’t blame him. He has that lost look in his eyes every so often and I know he’s pulling away because it’s easier.

I know, I’ve been there. This cabin was built to get away from everything. It took some time to realize I was being a fool. Dream will get there, I’ve got faith in him. He’s been through a lot and he still smiles sometimes.

I’m on autopilot baking. Niki’s recipe is well-worn by this point and I don’t need to have it sitting out but that’s habit, too. It’s a nice reminder. By the time the cake is in the oven, the sun is midpoint in the sky. The beef’s been marinating for awhile. I glance towards the living room and sigh.

Just a quick check, I won’t even go up the ladder.

Standing at the base, I can’t hear anything. That’s probably a good sign. Hopefully, he’s sleeping. Sleep hasn’t been easy for him which means it’s not been great for me, either, and I can sleep through a lot. Except the person next to me lashing out or screaming. It hurts. Not the times he’s hit me on accident but hearing a friend say ‘no’ and ‘please’ and ‘stop’ over and over.

I’ve gotta stop thinking about it. I know Dream’s picked up on my worry and I know sometimes it makes him feel weird. I get it, I do.

By the time the cake is cooled and has a nice layer of green frosting on it, the steaks are also done and the sun is lower in the sky. I pat my pockets, looking for my communicator to check the time, but I must’ve misplaced it again. I make another mental reminder to put a clock somewhere and head over to the ladder.

Dream is pretending to sleep, I can tell.

“Dinner time.”

He opens one eye. I smile. He opens the other and sighs as he props himself up.

“I’m—I’m not hungry.”

It’s the same thing as earlier and it’s still a lie, I know it. I raise an eyebrow and look at him silently. After a moment, a slight tinge of pink is on his cheeks.

Got ‘em.

“Ugh, fine,” he says as he swings his legs out of bed. “You’re so annoying.”

“I know, Dream, I know.” I slide down the ladder and wait for him. When he climbs down, I put my hand out, hovering near his back, just in case. “I’ve made you a real special dinner.”

“What? Why?”

I stop in front of the kitchen table. Some of the icing on the cake has melted a bit but the steaks look good. Dream is next to me. He looks confused. He looks sad. I put my arm around his shoulders. They still feel awfully boney.

“Because it’s your four month anniversary of stayin’ here, man. We’ve gotta celebrate.”

Dream’s voice rises in pitch.

“What?”

I know that tone. He’s struggling not to smile and rolling his eyes. I nudge my nose against the side of his head and pull him a little closer. He doesn’t pull away.

“We’re celebratin’, Dream. I even made you a cake.”

“This is so stupid,” he says but he’s leaning against me and I wrap my arms around him and hug him.

“Let’s eat.”

@sixteenth-day-event

[lanaactuallyabanana]

strawberry kisses

originally a request from @sunshine-on-marz !!

warnings: my old writing (lmao), cute fluff, NO SMUT.

ranboo x gn!reader

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Yes, I was indeed in love with Ranboo. I mean, what can I say. He's kind, incredibly funny and talented, and very pretty. I don't think it's possible for anyone to hate him. Even the first second I met him on stream, I knew in a matter of seconds we would be strong friends.

It was about 4 pm, and Ranboo and I and some other of our friends were bored. Tommy saw an ad for this random farmers market that had a strawberry field on his phone, and starting begging us like a little kid to go. We agreed.

"I haven't been to a strawberry field since I was a kid. Really brings back memories." Tubbo sighed, looking around.

I smiled. "I bet the strawberries back near your childhood home are much better than the strawberries here. English strawberries are usually pretty shit."

The boys laughed at my comment. Tommy punched my shoulder. "Y/n! Stop being mean and calling out your homelands! Long live England!" Tommy exaggerated. We laughed even harder and kept walking across the wet soil beneath us.

I looked over at the quiet Ranboo, as he dazed off looking in the distance. I bit my lip, and I playfully hit him in the arm. "Ran, what's going on with you? You're awfully quiet." T

When I spoke, it looked as if Ran was knocked back to his reality and senses. "U-uh yeah, I'm just thinking. About something." he winced.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Alright..."

Tubbo and Tommy quickly changed the subject, talking about recent games they've enjoyed playing on stream. I still couldn't get a grasp on why they were acting so weird.

We walked for a bit more, talking about random things, when suddenly Phil called Tubbo and Tommy over to come check something out with Charlie about 6 fields over. They both ran over, jumping over strawberry plants as Ran and I laugh at them trying not to step on any growing strawberry flowers, very obviously failing.

Ran and I continued to walk more, when they suddenly stopped in his tracks and exhaled deeply. I looked back at him. "Ran is everything alright-"

I was interrupted by them speaking up softly. "Y/n, love, can we stop for a moment? I need to tell you something."

I blushed at the nickname. "U-uh yeah, of course! What's up?" I said, coming closer to him.

"I think I'm in fucking love with you, y/n. I can't help but admire you. I love everything about you. Your face, your lips, your smile, your hands, fucking. everything. You're perfect to me, and I've wanted to say this to you for a while. If you don't like me back, that's okay, but I needed for you to know." He rushed out his words, but every single thing he said felt so.. out of this world. I've been waiting for those words for who knows how long.

"Kiss me." I stated.

His eyes widened in surprise at my words. "W-what?"

"Kiss me." I repeated.

His face leaned a bit closer to mine, leaving hardly an inch for me to change my mind. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered.

I closed the gap between us in response, pressing my lips against his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt them smile into the kiss and then pull away, catching our breath.

Suddenly, we heard whispering from the field next to us, and saw Tommy staring at us in disgust. My eyes widened, knowing what was going to happen next was going to be certainly interesting.

"TUBS! Y/N AND RAN FUCKING KISSED! OH GOD, MY EYES! MY EYES!" Tommy yelled back to Phil and the rest of the group. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Cool, I guess- WAIT, WHAT?" Tubbo yelled back. Ran covered his face with his hands in embarrassment.

This is definitely a story to tell.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

tee hee this is so cute omg

this is a repost from my old account with different characters and a bit of changed writing !!

[awesomeferret10]

I would like to talk about Ianthony as of post April 1st 2024. (With obvious parallels to both The Event and Dan and Phil)

1. I see a lot of people like obsessively combing over every glance and reading into every word which isn’t anything new but I feel has really kicked up a notch lately. My general response to this is the ianthony “relationship” label shouldn’t matter. They obviously love each other platonically or anything else and I think it’s important sometimes to take a step back from your theorizing and hyperventilating to just enjoy them as people and their friendship and how much they care

2. Keep in mind this isn’t like Dan and Phil. They aren’t young people who haven’t been given the opportunity to discover/express themselves. They both still confidently state they’re straight up to a couple of months ago. When they’ve actively been asked for over 10 years what their sexuality is constantly I feel as though maybe they would have done some internal exploration of their sexualities by now. Obviously sexualities aren’t static and labels don’t matter. Gender and sex is nothing compared to the connection of people and often sexuality labels can be completely overridden or thrown into question by one person. On top of the fact that Anthony has essentially stated this himself of “you never know 🤷‍♂️” but like. They still both are confident in the label of straight. So chill out a little.

3. The crew shipping them isn’t some like inside joke within the smoffice. It’s an inside joke within the community THAT WE ARE ALL INSIDE OF. It’s a joke built by years of Ian and Anthony playing into fans questions for views and the fact that many of their employees were previously Smosh fans. So although it’s funny that all the editors and cast and crew are playing into it more than Ian and Anthony themselves in the videos remember it’s not proof of anything. They’re just being silly goofy.

4. I get it. Because before The Event I was very dismissive of every shourtney shipper. I enjoyed their genuine connection as best friends and people who clearly loved each other. But every time I saw something pointing out “oh Courtney said this” “oh look how Shayne looked at them here” I had the “this isn’t 2010 guys when will you give it up they’re just besties” reaction. I never thought people were insane for noticing that possible connection but I also just thought people were driving themselves mad reading into stuff. Obviously a lot of the things people pointed out are still probably nothing because again people were analyzing literally every microsecond.

5. Like no seriously I get it. On inspection Ian and Anthony make fuck me eyes at each other. Like constantly. They look at each other like there’s no one else in the world sometimes. The behind the scenes for my dead friend where they just spend 2 minutes with Ian trying to stick something in Anthony’s pocket while both of them are giggling is literally middle school flirting. Anthony tearing up at the story of best friends turned lovers. Little bit dramatic king. Like we all know why Shayne and Courtney love that story. But Anthony dude. After going through April 1st 2024 I totally understand not wanting to discard any of the shit these two idiots say. And it’s also really funny since they’ve proven they don’t care. Just want everyone to remember to be careful to just enjoy them soley as a duo without the conspiracy of a relationship on occasion.

[astradyke]

MY EXPERIENCE W/ TIT TOUR (tysons 2)

( written while looping I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR, and also a car alarm going off outside my dorm room repeatedly :') )

NON-SPOILER SECTION:

SO many sweet people in line. someone gave us (me, my best friend, and my other beautiful friend) custom dan & phil stickers (pictured above), there was a lovely person in cat whiskers making sure people knew the difference between the gen admission & silver line, etc. phannies have the coolest fashion sense all the sick lovely lesbians were making me nervous... <3

s/o to my best friend's running capacity we were first in merch line!!! I am so endlessly happy with my photocard haul especially the uni hoodie one that one is my FAVORITE, also I love this long-sleeve so much. I almost got more merch but I held myself back and I think that was a good call! Also a super cool phannie made custom photocards and I got a silly dan one :D

y'all already saw but I met Clo @bitchslapblastoids who is the first mutual I have ever met in real life ever! between you and me... she is super kind and also really cool :]

our seats were so good!! balcony like row F or whatever but it worked out <3 our seatmate was also very kind!!!

pre-show people danced to HOT TO GO! and someone held up a Palestine flag and we all cheered! and people were moshing to von dutch which is so beautiful to me

SPOILER SECTION:

List of favorite jokes included: "Now our show passes the Bechdel test!" "I have kind of an aloof sociopath vibe going. ... which has worked for me :)" "[I am not satisfied on screen] What was that about? // I think I was just horny that day." "Scared of my life without you when I kill you!" "Dan had depression :D!!" "Enough about the gay, we've already done the gay// Enough about the depression, we've already talked about the depression."

No "sorry daddy, I mean father" line, which is devastating, BUT we didn't get the whole 'do you think Dan Howell' can commit schpiel with the wedding... much to think about

our conspiracies were pumpkin, faked sleepless night 3, bar, and wedding! i deeply wanted the other conspiracies i am so not going to lie but it's okay...

our "one minute" tangent was about electricity, clo made a post about this but they made a God and Adam joke because Phil tried to electrocute Dan and it failed so they were just awkwardly touching fingertips for a period of time

Nothing could have prepared me for the Phil on top of Dan choking him with the llama hat thing. Like i knew it was going to happen but still nothing could have prepared me. i think i fully grabbed my best friend's arm and shoulders and shook them a bit

our confessions and like nolemodel bit were really funny shout out DMV phannies!!!

Really made me sad when phil made the joke about babysitting like NO!!! YOUR CONTENT IS THE REASON I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN MY PARANOIA IS BAD!!!!!!!! I LOVE U HIATUS YR CONTENT PHIL!!!! But his whole thing about the hiatus being a good thing in the end because it brought us here... <333

every segment felt perfectly timed and the entire show was just so funny and good. Like ultimately i can yearn for having gotten different conspiracies or slightly different vibes but altogether it was incredible.

THE SONG WAS LIFE-CHANGING. I knew more about it thru spoilers than I had thought but either way not only was it so fucking good, like, I'm going to get I-D-G-A-F it saved me tattooed. I have decided this.

WRAP UP THOUGHTS:

I first got into Dan and Phil when I was 11/12-- my first video was post Daniel Howell rebrand, and it was Daniel and Depression, I'll give you three guesses as to why my friend at the time recommended that video. I was obviously a die-hard phan at the time, reading phic and watching the compilations and obsessed with their gaming videos. I remember being like, unfathomably depressed trying to do math homework in bed, and just 'secretely' watching their videos instead. I can remember exactly when the first WDAPTEO dropped, and like how much I wanted to go to interactive introverts but was too scared to (I think I'm glad I didn't go for personal reasons) but my friends did go. I remember I was leaving summer gym class before I started HS when Basically I'm Gay dropped, and watching it-- but I was 13 almost 14, closeted, and while it resonated with me it didn't really hit me that strongly? I remember being most taken aback by the confirmation of their relationship, and the conclusion Dan left about his own sexuality had an impact on me wrt rejecting the constraints of labels, but it didn't really hit me crazily. during hiatus years I watched solo AP semi often but so much was happening... obviously, when the hiatus returned, i came back full force. when it's summer and i can't sleep at night, I watch AP hiatus years solo content; I watched most of the Dystopia Dailys; I saw We're All Doomed's digital release w/ the same best friend I went to TIT with; and obviously, you all have seen me talk about their collaborative content. But after that time, maybe even a bit before the hiatus ended, I rewatched Basically I'm Gay. after all I went through in high school (nothing quite like his experiences, but aspects of it resonated through), that video hit me like a fucking truck-- it made me realize the inherent amount that my queer identity played in my trauma, and it like... made me really emotional lol. also, Phil's openness about his chronic illness has meant a lot especially as I battle with my own-- not chronic illness, but, physical health battles. So when they sang IDGAF it saved me, that was like fucking earth-shattering to me, because they did save me! from when i was 12 years old struggling to do work, wondering why i was so tired every day but at least having them to cheer me up-- to being 19 years old, joints aching and emotionally stressed, watching their pizza mukbang 2 and seeing how much happier they are, how much happier I am. they saved me. and i love them so, so fucking much.

On a very different note, seeing them live has colored my whole, uh, envisioning Dan Howell being trapped in my head in order to cope with my day to day mental isolation, issue, as being like... maybe not the move. so i'm trying to get more used to the quiet of my own head, but hey, over the years, they've helped a lot with that.

I wish i could have met them just to say all these things i'm realizing now, after seeing the show. but TLDR: TIT tysons 2 was the best night of my life. i love them, i love them, i love them, i love them, and i hope they know. i dunno how to move forward with my life after an experience like last night, just, God. i love you dan and phil. i love you phandom. it saved me. TIT saved me.

[isa-ghost]

Any specifically avian related qphil headcanons? I love that Phil being a bit more birdy is canon in the qsmp but whenever we get lore about it its angst

/I don't know why I'm asking if you have any, I know you got them /

*cupping my hands together and holding them out*

/give em here/

/pretty pleasee/

Oh fuck yeah man. I have an angel OC based off Phil, I've got PLENTY of avian headcanons >:)

Previous Headcanon Sets (x8)

MORE: Avian Edition

I've stated it in a prev set I think, but if you put this man in water his wings will sometimes involuntarily flap like he's in a birdbath. It's somewhat of a stim, bird brain just goes "you gotta."

I've also stated before that when he's stressed, his wings will flap kinda like the way someone might nervously shake out their hands.

Another restate, sometimes his laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles.

Another restate, sometimes his echolalia is his bird brain mimicking a sound he heard if it scratches an itch.

Yknow what just skim the previous headcanon sets I linked bc I talk so much about his wings & what he does with them & how he communicates using them. All those apply here.

Obligatory mirror and windows struggles mention.

Obligatory molting & preening struggles when stressed mention.

We've all seen the way he perches above everyone. It's probably his most prominent/noticeable avian trait.

Apparently camomile calms birds down. If this fool liked hot drinks, he'd have another way to settle his anxiety.

His obsession with noodles got him accused by Tubbo of enjoying them bc bird brain likes worms. He was NOT pleased. Almost gagged.

As long as you're careful around his wings, he LOVES back rubs. (It's bc the dumbass mf slept in that damn chair too much so now his back riots)

DO NOT THE WINGS. Petting them is one thing, he loves when Lullah hugs them, he thinks it's cute. But omg do not dig your fingers into his feathers. They're very sensitive. And that could mean tickling OR pain.

However if you gently do it, his wings will spread a little and his feathers poof up, which is kinda funny. It's like how if you touch a cat's foot the right way, their toes will spread out to present The Beans(tm). Blessed.

He likes to gift his shedded feathers to people he trusts. Chayanne, Lullah & Missa each have one. Although he's extremely close with Etoiles and Fit, he feels too awkward to give one to them yet. Feels a little too intimate.

Gift giving in general is a HUGE part of his love language though. Crow brain must give shiny things to people he loves yesyes.

Bird zoomies!! Wings poof up, he starts hopping all over the place like a big dork. He'd fly all over too, if he could.

Bobs his head to music. Those videos of pet birds dancing? That's Phil babey!!

Another one of his fave bits is pretending to understand and have a full-on conversation with birds. Loves pretending to gossip with them right in front of the person he & the bird(s) are "gossiping" about. However the crows he DOES understand & gossip with.

When he can fly, he's an expert at dive-bombing targets like a bird of prey. It's TERRIFYING. And very attractive depending on who you are (*cough* Missa *cough*)

Lullah once tried to test if throwing a blanket over his head would make him fall asleep like how if you put a blanket over a bird's cage they'll think it's night time and go to bed. It didn't work. He was very confused.

Birds whenever they're happy to see you will stretch their wings out like "Hello yes!" Phil do happy wing stretches when he see the kids :D

His hearing and eyesight are fucking amazing. The only reason he's able to be snuck up on is bc he hyperfocuses on things or the things that sneak up on him are super fast.

Rare Isa Fluffy Headcanon: He make blanket nests.

When stressed or overwhelmed, he'll wrap his wings around himself or raise them to shield his head. He doesn't do this so much after his wings were clipped & injured. They hurt too much.

100% will spread his wings all the way out (when they aren't hurting a lot) to look more threatening towards enemies. They almost autopilot do it when he's angry, but if they hurt too much they'll stop. He's pissed they don't look as threatening after The Federation clipped his wings