#can still hear this playing on the way to school

[venuslarkspur]

Can I please request a teen female reader (15-17?) who’s entered the games to help her family, like all the responsibilities have fallen to her after her dads death 🥺💕(ANY CHARACTERS WILL DO) ILY UR PINK HAIR FIC AS WELL)

Playtime’s Over.

Pairing(s): Squid Game Characters meet Fem!Teen!Reader, (ALL PLATONIC). Contains: Thanos, Se-Mi, Kang Dae Ho, Seong Gi Hun, Cho Hyun Ju, Park Gyeong Seok.

Summary: Them just doting on Teen Reader and wanting to protect her!

Note: This can be read as gender neutral as well! I didn’t really go out of the way to make it female looking back. NOT PROOFREAD I COULD NOT BE ARSED

Warning(s): ANGST, mentions of eating, VIOLENCE, family problems.

Thanos

- He immediately takes a liking to you and can straight away tell you’re not actually 18. (I’m with the firm belief this man would have a soft spot for kids)

- Forces the rest of the group to refer to you as “yeodongsaeng” (or little just sister) and it makes you feel loved, even though you know he’s full of shit , kids see everything.

- You swear that sometimes he thinks you’re his actual sister, with the way he acts towards you; others in the game constantly think you’re actual siblings.

- Nearly gives you some of his drugs before he remembers your age and tells you to scram and do your homework.

- Doesn’t let Nam-Gyu shit talk you, would sooner slap him on the head than let him do that, and firmly reminds him you’re his younger sister now as well. That thought of being his sister made you want to vomit, but you wouldn’t mind Thanos being your brother though.

- Bonding over your father’s not being around anymore! Even though your circumstances are very different.

- When 2 players are called In mingle. He hesitates, despite the drugs running through his system; he shouts at Nam-Gyu to go with Min-Su while he drags you into a nearby room. Dumbfounded you still were, as he picked you first.

- You had found someone, despite his countless flaws and bullshit. There was still someone, until there wasn’t anymore. And you were left alone again.

Se-Mi

- You’re the only one she’s letting call her ‘unnie’, very protective of you even before knowing your true age.

- If you need a distraction she will let you play with one of her rings while she asks you how school is and how you are doing.

- Very torn when she hears you’re providing for a whole family by yourself, wants to be there for you. Since you’re a kid with no parents to guide you here.

- Would give you her milk carton and egg. She doesn’t want it anyway just take it!

- Lets you trail after her like a duckling.

- Isn’t afraid to tell anyone to leave you alone if you’re getting picked on.

- Has an epiphany when she realised the reason your so good at the games is because it probably hasn’t bee long since you played them on the school courtyard :(

- Protects you in mingle, even though she knows she won’t always be able to keep you safe. But it ended up being her you failed to save.

Kang Dae-Ho

- Was the first person to jump in and help you when you were getting abused by one of the other players, an older man that you had pickpocketed quite recently; naturally, he longed for his revenge, firmly punching your stomach, you fell to the ground immediately; he grabbed your hair and before he could land a blow on your face another player stepped in.

- “Leave the kid alone.” Another man, younger this time whose number read “388” had jumped in to defend you. The older man backed off slightly, but still felt the need to verbally attack you. “You know this little bitch?” He spat out, locking eyes with you. “This kid stole cash from me!” He screamed pointing an accusatory finger at you. You weren’t denying, you hanged your head in guilt; even if you explained your circumstances, he wouldn’t care. “Maybe she did, but shes just a defenceless kid,, lay off.” and with that the stingy man trotted away, maintaining eye contact with you.

- Player 388 had checked up on you after that, since that day you were overly attached to him. Trailing after him, he didn’t mind at all not one bit. He told you he actually had several older sisters and it was nice to have a younger one for a change.

- He respects your strength and perseverance more than anyone, having to provide for an entire family when you’re just a kid yourself is TIRING work and unimaginable for him.

- Encourages you to make your own choices, like don’t pick “O” or “X” just because he did.

- Makes sure you are one of the first prioritised during mingle, he saw what happened to Young-Mi and couldn’t live with himself if the same happened to you. You do a lot of hand holding after what happened to Young Mi; he’s scared to let go.

- He hates seeing how little hope there is in your eyes for someone so young, it’s his personal mission to make you feel hope again.

Seong Gi-Hun

- Even though he’s kind of in his depressed era rn, all he sees when he looks at you is his daughter staring back at him. Acknowledges straight away that you’re only a bit older than her.

- It takes you a while to catch on, but you eventually realise why he’s protective of you. His own daughter wasn’t around anymore is the conclusion you came to, where she is or if she is you don’t know. Only that he must not see her anymore.

- scolds you quite a lot, telling you that you shouldn’t even be here anyway. That instead you should be doing your homework or studying for your next exam.

- When the cameras watch he has to distance himself from you, he doesn’t want the Frontman to know of his now emotional connection with you.

- You remind him of Sae-Byeok in an odd way.

- Would never forgive yourself if you died, you’d constantly be on his mind.

Cho Hyun Ju

- I can’t lie she initially tries to stay clear of you, she knows if she gets too attached and you die, she won’t be able to live with herself.

- But she can’t seem to get rid of you, you follow her around like a baby duck.

- You, Her and Young-Mi become like a sisterhood, she’s the oldest and you’re the baby of the group. You both call her ‘unnie’

- Young Mi gives you her food and Hyun Ju follows along and passes you some milk. Because you need it to be “big and strong”

- She has so many questions about how you ended up in here. Where are your parents? What are your family doing if you’re here? Shouldn’t you be in school?

- When Young Mi dies she gets very protective of you, she’s not losing you as well.

Park Gyeong-Seok

- Projection!!! He’s missing his daughter, you’re missing your dad! The perfect duo.

- On a serious note he hates how attached he is to you.

- You joined his group in the 2nd game and you played Flying Stone. He knows something was off about you, even putting on a tough exterior you seemed so childlike. When you confess your actual age he’s horrified, he didn’t want to believe it. How on earth are you in debt?

- He can’t believe you’re providing for a whole family. He struggles just providing for his daughter.

- Encourages you to hit “X”, trust me you don’t want to die here, you can’t help your family from your grave.

- If you seem a little hungry he offers you his food.

- You’re attached by the hip during mingle, you never left his side.

- He comforts you during the riot in lights out. Cradling your body, and running his hands through your hair to calm you down; wondering if this is how he’d hold his own daughter if she were here.

- You beg him not to go with the others in the revolt, he almost doesn’t. And later he’d wish he didn’t.

[dazevi]

CHAPTER TWO: BY YOUR SIDE

heart to heart series | vi x fem!reader

synopsis: vi returns to her childhood home, overwhelmed by the past. vander encourages her to attend a wedding. and when cross paths again, vi tries to do whatever she can to find a way back into your life.

content warnings: MDNI. angst, suggestive content, rockstar!vi, writer!reader, bookshop owner!reader, eventual exes to lovers, no smut yet, sexual tension, vi is looking respectfully, jaymel cameo, bestfriend!mel, mentions of alcohol and smoking, profanity, awkward reunion, mmm idk what im missing but lmk !

wc: 13,144

note: sorry for the wait! this chapter feels a little more like a build-up chapter but can’t wait to upload the later chapters ahhh !!! (fanart by bunimint_ on ig)

navigation | series masterlist | previous chapter

Vi stood in the doorway of her old bedroom, the strap of her guitar case digging into her shoulder. The house smelled the same—faintly of laundry detergent and the old wooden floors her mom used to obsessively polish when she was a kid.

It hadn’t changed, not a single thing about it.

The same pale red walls, the same band posters sloppily pinned up in the corners, curling at the edges with age. Her bed still sat against the wall beneath the window, the same worn quilt folded neatly at the edge like her mom still expected her to crawl into it every night. Even her desk was untouched, cluttered with textbooks and notebooks she hadn’t opened since she was eighteen, the pages frozen in time like she had only stepped out for a moment, not years.

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes swept over the room, the memories that rushed back into her mind made her knees feel weak.

Late nights scribbling in her notebooks about songs she was too afraid to share with anyone, the afternoons spent sprawled across the bed on the phone with you, talking about nothing and everything all at once. She could almost hear your voice now, laughing softly as she played a chord wrong on her guitar, only for her to insist it was intentional because she claimed it was experimental.

Vi swallowed hard, her fingers tightening around the handle of her suitcase.

She hated how small the room felt now, how it seemed to mock her. It once belonged to the girl she used to be—the girl who thought she had everything figured out, the girl who couldn’t wait to leave this town behind.

Now it felt like it was waiting to swallow her whole.

She set her suitcase down by the bed and eased the guitar case off her shoulder, placing it gently against the wall. She looked over to the corner of the room, and stepped up to her the older one, a faded acoustic with stickers all over the body, just resting against her desk. Her fingers brushed against the neck of the guitar—it was the same one she played since high school, the same one she used to play for you.

A soft knock on the doorframe pulled Vi out of her thoughts, her head snapping up as she turned her head.

Vander stood there, leaning slightly against the wood, his massive arms crossed over his chest in that familiar way that always seemed to say everything’s fine, kid. He wore a faint smile, though his eyes were saying something else—relief, maybe, or concern. She wasn’t sure.

“Didn’t touch anything while you were gone,” he said, and chuckled lightly. “Figured I’d let you do that when you got back.”

Vi let out a breath, her lips twitching into the smallest of smiles, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She ran a hand over the back of her neck, trying to brush away some of the tension that had settled there since stepping out of the airport.

“Yeah, uh… thanks,” she mumbled, but it was quieter than she meant it to be.

Vander stepped inside, his boots heavy against the floorboards, and leaned against the edge of her desk like he used to when she was a teenager. Back then, he’d perch there with his arms crossed, asking about her day, actually try to help with her homework or teasing her for the mess she insisted wasn’t actually a mess.

Now, he stood there quietly, taking her in like he was trying to figure out what to say next.

“Thought you’d want it that way. You always hated when people moved your stuff.”

“Yeah,” she said.

He smiled a little at the memory, his hands fidgeting with the edge of a notebook she hadn’t touched in years.

“Powder’s coming home later in two weeks for break. Been pretty busy with all that college stuff.” He says. “And as much as I love having you back home… everything alright with that fancy job of yours?

“Our, uh, manager thinks the band needs a break… from work… and touring nonstop, so…” Vi trailed off, her voice faint. “Ekko’s prety happy about it. He missed Benzo a lot.”

Vander didn’t respond immediately. He just nodded slowly, his eyes soft, as if he already knew that there was more going on her mind. She wasn’t talking about just the band. She was talking about everything. The constant noise that came into her life, the rush of being in the spotlight that made it hard to even breathe sometimes. The exhaustion that had piled up too, unnoticed, over the years.

Vi sighed, running a hand through her hair, fingers brushing the silver chain that hung around her neck, tugging it out from under her shirt.

“Well, Benzo is a huge fan, as you know,” Vander continued, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Won’t stop talking about you guys. Keeps showing off posters Ekko sends in the mail.”

Vi’s lips curved upwards, a soft laugh slipping out. Benzo always supported the band even way before they became one, since she and Ekko were kids, playing with glasses of water, a small keyboard and buckets flipped over to drum on them.

She remembered the first time they’d played at his diner, the crowd just a few regulars, and Benzo grinning like the proudest uncle. He’d been the first to show up with his camera, asking for a picture of the band.

“You guys are going to make it big,” he’d said, without any hint of doubt in his voice.

“I should really go down there and see him… check up on Ekko, too,” Vi muttered, almost to herself. “His birthday’s coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“Sure is.”

Then, she looked out the window instinctively, like she always used to, and her eyes lingered on the house across the street. She could almost hear the sound of your soft voice, echoing in her mind like it had never left. She could imagine you inside, just going about your day, living your life without her.

She couldn’t stop staring at it, even though a part of her knew she shouldn’t. And yet, she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

She couldn’t stop herself from wondering, wondering what you were doing now, how you were feeling. Did you still think about her? The same way she thought about you? Were you with someone else now?

No, she… Vi didn’t want to think about that.

“Are you going to that wedding?” Vander’s voice broke through her thoughts.

She blinked, turning slightly to face him.

He continued, “Got a letter invite a couple weeks back, but I’m sure Jayce already let you know about it.”

A wedding. She had heard about it from Jayce, of course. Mel and Jayce were getting married. But she hadn’t really thought about it in the way she should have.

You’d probably be there.

And the thought of going, of seeing you again, made her stomach flip. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face you after everything. Three years. But it felt like it had been a lifetime. She couldn’t deny that a part of her wanted to be there, to see you, but another part of her feared what it would mean, of what would happen.

She shifted on her feet, glancing back out the window at the house one more time, as if it could give her the answer she was looking for.

“I don’t know yet,” Vi finally replied, her voice softer than she intended.

“Well it might be good to go see—”

“I said I don’t know.”

The tone of her own voice shocked herself.

“Sorry.”

Vander’s gaze softened as he looked at her. Her gaze lingered on the house across the street, her eyes tracing the outline of the familiar windows, the same one she used to sneak into to get to your bedroom in the middle of the night just because she just wanted to kiss you, and the same porch where she used to sit with you, long into the evening, talking about everything and nothing all at once.

Fuck. She couldn’t help herself.

“Is… is she still living over there?” she asked quietly, almost like she was afraid to hear the answer.

Vander glanced over, a small frown pulling at his lips as he followed her gaze toward the house. He paused for a moment, thinking, before responding with a soft shrug.

“No, she… moved out a couple of years ago,” he said. “Her mother mentioned an apartment somewhere downtown.”

For a moment, Vi stood there, her mind racing. She tried to picture you in this new place—your own apartment, a life carved out without her in it.

She didn’t speak right away. Her mind was too full, too clouded by everything she had tried to push aside. She’d been running for so long, keeping herself distracted with music, with the band, with anything that kept her from what she had left behind.

“Well, I’ve gotta get to work,” Vander says, walking past her and stopping in the doorway for a moment. “By the way, even if you don’t want my input on it, I really think you should go to that wedding. Better than being cooped up in here the whole time… Besides, I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

He stops by the doorframe, turning around then tossing something small and metallic over to her, which she catches with ease.

Car keys.

“Also, got that truck of yours fixed up when I heard you were coming back. Would be nice for it to get back on the road.”

Then he left.

Vi stood in there silently, watching as Vander walked out. She wasn’t sure what to make of it at first—he was always the type to be blunt, to offer advice that, whether she wanted it or not, often felt like the truth.

She stared down at the car keys in her hand, her thumb tracing the familiar grooves of the key to her old pickup truck—the one she’d spent an entire summer fixing up in Vander’s garage when she was seventeen. It had been her pride and joy, her freedom on four wheels.

She could still feel the way the leather seat would stick to her thighs on hot summer days, how she’d leave the windows rolled down because the AC had never quite worked right. She remembered the smell of grease that never really left the upholstery, no matter how much air freshener she hung from the rearview mirror.

But mostly, she remembered you.

Nights spent parked in that same old truck at night, your laughter mingling with the chirping crickets in the warm air. She could still feel the ghost of your hands on her face, your lips against hers in the soft glow of the dashboard lights. She remembered the way you’d pull her closer, your fingers curling into the collar of her shirt, as if you couldn’t stand even the smallest gap between you.

She let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head as she remembered another one—the two of you sneaking into the drive-in theater just outside of town. The projector’s flickering light had barely held her attention, not when you were sitting there next to her, your head resting on her shoulder, your hand absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt. She’d pretended to watch the movie, but all she could focus on was the sound of your breathing and the way you smelled.

You spent lots of your time in there with her. After school, after curfews, after everything.

She’d taught you how to shift gears in it, though you’d been hopelessly terrible at it, and she hadn’t minded one bit. You’d laugh at yourself, and Vi would laugh with you, though secretly she thought it was adorable. And when the nights were too quiet and the world felt too small, she’d drive you out to the edge of town, to that spot by the lake where you’d talk for hours, play you different songs on her guitar.

She turned back to the room, her eyes tracing her surroundings. It felt almost like a relic. She grew up here, sure, but who was she now? A part of her felt like she had lost herself along the way—lost in the noise, the music, the constant moving, the faces of strangers she met on different nights. She thought about everything that had happened between her and you. She had never really taken the time to face it all, to truly think about what went wrong.

But Vander was right.

She couldn’t stay locked away forever. She had to move forward. The band had taken a break, and the world had slowed down for a moment.

With a soft sigh, she looked out the window again, her eyes finding your house across the street.

Catch up with old friends. Was that what she needed? To face the past? To see the people she had left behind?

She crossed the room, her fingers brushing against the familiar objects scattered around. Her childhood trophies. Old photos with friends. It all seemed so distant now, like someone else’s life.

She took a deep breath, the decision heavy in her chest. Maybe Vander was right. Maybe it was time to show up, even if she was afraid of the thought of it.

“I guess I’ll go,” she murmured to the empty room.

The air in the dressing room was thick with the hum of distant music and muffled laughter seeping through the walls.

It was a busy day, but here, everything seemed still.

The place smelled faintly of lavender and vanilla, the scent lingering from the carefully arranged flowers that adorned every corner of the room. Soft light from the chandeliers cast a warm glow over Mel, who stood nervously in front of the mirror, adjusting the layers of her white gown. The fabric shimmered slightly under the lights with speckles of gold both on her dress and in her hair. She looked so beautiful.

You stood beside her, your own dress, a soft shade of blush pink. You absentmindedly tugged at the fabric by your hips, trying to steady your breath, as your eyes flickered between Mel and her reflection. She was fidgeting with the edge of her veil, looking every bit like the bride she was supposed to be.

“Mel,” you said softly. You stepped closer to her, placing a hand on her arm in reassurance. “You look stunning. Just breathe.”

Her eyes met yours in the mirror, and you saw the quiet panic that flickered behind them.

“Do you think I look okay?” she asked, her voice betraying her nerves. “I mean, I know I should feel excited, but I feel like everything’s about to fall apart. What if I mess up? What if I trip down the aisle or say something wrong or—”

“First off, I have never seen you trip once in my entire life,” you interrupted gently, your thumb brushing over her arm. “Everything’s going to be fine. You’ve been dreaming about this day for years, Mel. You deserve every single moment of it.”

You gave her a small smile.

“You’re just gonna walk down that aisle and Jayce is going to look at you and see you and no one else. Like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. And you are, so stop worrying, you’re about to be his wife.”

Mel exhaled slowly, dropping her shoulders a little as she allowed herself to relax, even if just a fraction. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long moment, her fingers lightly touching the delicate lace of her dress. She nodded slowly, her eyes softening as the last of her worry seemed to ease away. She straightened up, her back a little less hunched, her chin lifted just enough to make her look like the woman you’d known all these years.

“Thank you,” she said sigh. “My god, I’m getting married.”

You gave her a teasing smile. “Yeah, you are.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Alright. I’m ready.”

Mel straightened her veil one last time and stood taller, stronger than she had a few minutes ago. You both shared one last look in the mirror before heading toward the door.

And before you knew it, you were standing in front of the aisle.

You barely noticed when Viktor, standing beside you, Jayce’s best man and friend, began to guide you down, your arm linked with his. The music played by the pianist surrounded you, and everyone’s whispered voices faded into the background. Your focus narrowed to just the steps ahead of you as you went on. Viktor smiled warmly at you and the flowers in your hands felt heavier now, their petals brushing your fingers with each step. The soft rustle of your dress seemed to blend with the rest of sounds of the room, the only thing you could hear, aside from your own breathing.

As you neared the end of the aisle, Viktor slowed his pace, and you both came to a halt. His hand gently lifted from your arm and you separated, parting to make space for the groom and the bride, and stood still for a moment, facing the crowd.

And it was then, as your eyes scanned the room, that you saw it—a streak of pink. The color almost seemed to glow.

Vi.

Her hair, now a little longer than you remembered, was glowing under the soft light.

Your heart skipped a beat, then stilled, as you stared and swallowed the lump in your throat.

She’s sitting there, in the middle of the crowd, dressed in an all-black suit, the kind that should look formal, her collar loose and unbuttoned under her jacket. She looks good—too good, in that frustrating way you remember all too well.

And she’s staring right at you.

She’s been staring the whole time, as if she’s been waiting for this, waiting for you. Her jaw is set, her lips pressed into a line that isn’t quite a smile but isn’t far from one either. It’s the look she used to give you when she was trying to read you, trying to figure out if she should say something or stay quiet.

Your fingers tighten slightly around the bouquet in your hands. And then, from the corner of your eye, you see movement. Mel steps into view, bright in her wedding dress, reminding you of where you are, of the role you’re here to play.

And it’s enough to force you to tear your gaze away from Vi.

Your eyes snap back to Mel, and you focus on her. You force yourself to breathe, to focus, but deep down, you know this will stay lodged in your mind.

Vi stared the entire time.

She’d been staring from the moment you stepped into view. She’d been waiting all day for this—waiting for you to step out, to catch even a glimpse of the person who’d lived in the back of her mind for years, no matter how hard she’d tried to bury the thought of you.

And when she finally saw you… God, fuck.

You were beautiful.

So beautiful it made her throat tighten and her chest ache. It wasn’t just the dress, though it was stunning, soft and flowing, hugging you in all the right places.

You looked better than she remembered, which felt impossible because, to Vi, you’d always been the prettiest person she’d ever laid eyes on.

Her heart thudded painfully as she took in the way you walked, like though you weren’t sure you belonged in the spotlight. You always did that—shrank yourself down, even when you had every right to take up space.

And Vi hated it. She hated how much she missed it too.

She couldn’t look away, couldn’t even blink. Her gaze drank in every detail—the line of your collarbone where the dress dipped, the curve of your neck, the curve of your lips. She thought about how she used to trace the edges of your jaw with her fingertips, how you used to tilt your head into her hand when you were silently asking her to kiss you.

Her jaw clenched, her lips pressing into a tight line as if that could stop all her emotions from crashing over.

Because fuck, you were right there. Flesh and blood, in the same room.

And yet, you felt so far away, like the distance between her seat and from where you stood might as well have been a thousand miles.

Her mind raced as she sat there, still as stone, her fingers digging into her knees to keep herself calm. What would she even say if she could speak to you? What could she say that wouldn’t sound pathetic, desperate?

Because she was desperate.

She realized that now, sitting here and watching you.

In fact, she watched you for the rest of the night. All the way up to the after party.

Vi stayed on the second floor balcony for most of the evening, nursing a drink she didn’t particularly care for, her other hand gripping the railing as she leaned against it.

The view was perfect from up here—not of just the party, but of you.

She could see everything, every little detail. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d missed the sound of your laugh until it reached her ears over the music and chatter.

She watched as you spun around the dance floor with Jayce, his booming laugh echoing as he twirled you, your dress flaring out. Mel joined in too, her bouquet forgotten somewhere on a table as the three of you swayed and stumbled with too much energy to care if you looked silly.

Vi’s lips curved into the smallest, bittersweet smile at the sight of you and her friends all so carefree, so full of life.

From up here, she could even watch how some guys went up to you, making her grip on the railing even tighter. She could see the way their eyes lit up when they looked at you, how they straightened their postures, how they leaned in just a little too close.

Vi hated how much it bothered her.

But you… you were polite, as you always were, letting them have their moment before smiling and shaking your head, refusing a dance or to talk with them. You didn’t let them pull you away, didn’t let them have the piece of you they clearly wanted.

She should’ve felt relieved, but she didn’t. It wasn’t enough.

Because deep down, she knew she had no right to feel this way anymore.

You weren’t hers. You hadn’t been for years.

Vi leaned further into the railing, her fingers loosening around her glass as she tilted her head back, exhaling softly. God, you looked so happy. And you deserved to be happy. But Vi couldn’t shake the selfish, ugly thought that she wanted to be the one who put that smile on your face again.

Earlier, she’d congratulated Jayce and Mel, shaking hands with Jayce and giving Mel one of those half hugs she was bad at. Jayce had been his usual cheerful self, patting Vi on the back and saying how good it was to see her. He’d even cracked a joke about how the great Violet of The Lanes had graced them with her presence. It was lighthearted, teasing, but Vi couldn’t stop the tiny pang of discomfort it caused.

She didn’t want to be that big rockstar here. Not tonight. She wanted to be Vi, the same person they went to high school with, the person you used to know.

Vi couldn’t stop staring at you, no matter how much she told herself not to.

You were laughing at something Mel said, your smile lighting up your whole face. Fuck, you were so pretty.

She forced herself to look away. Her throat felt tight, and she needed air—real air, not the stifling kind laced with too many conversations and clinking glasses and the faint scent of champagne.

With a sigh, Vi turned on her heel and slipped through the doors behind her, the sound of the party fading as she stepped out onto the outdoor balcony. Her hand instinctively reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out a slightly crumpled pack of cigarettes and her old, scratched-up zippo lighter.

She lit the cigarette, taking a long drag as she leaned against the railing and closed her eyes. The smoke curled around and she tilted her head back, staring up at the sky.

The stars were faint against the glow of the city lights, but they were there, distant and untouchable.

Kind of like you.

She saw you in everything she looked at.

Vi thought coming out here would help, but even with the cool air and the distance from the party, all she could think about was you. How you looked tonight. How you laughed. How you smiled.

She took another drag, her fingers trembling slightly as she held the cigarette to her lips. Maybe it was the nicotine.

She was barely halfway through her cigarette, the end of it glowing faintly as she took another drag. She’d been out here long enough for the faint chill to settle in her bones, but it was better than being inside. She stared down at the city below, considering the easiest way to slip out unnoticed.

Maybe she should just leave.

She didn’t have anything left to say to anyone here—not when every word felt like it was scraping its way up her throat.

Her hand tightened around the cigarette as she thought about it, but then—

“You started smoking?”

The sound of your voice behind her froze her in place.

For a moment, she didn’t turn around. She couldn’t. She stared straight ahead at the town, the distant lights blurring slightly in her vision. She almost thought she’d imagined it, but then the faint shuffle of your steps as you came closer made it all too real.

Finally, she turned, slowly and hesitantly. When her eyes met yours, she froze again. You were standing there, looking at her with an expression she couldn’t read all too well, your hands clasped loosely in front of you. You weren’t really dressed for the slight cold of the night, and she noticed the faint goosebumps along your arms, the way you shifted on your feet to keep warm.

“I, uh…” she stammered.

Vi glanced down at the cigarette in her hand like she’d forgotten it was there. She suddenly felt self-conscious, like she was holding something she shouldn’t be.

“Yeah,” she muttered quietly, rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand. “Picked it up a while ago.”

You tilted your head slightly, your gaze flicking from her face to the cigarette and back again.

“I didn’t think you would,” you said softly, and there was something in your tone—disappointment? Sadness? Curiosity?—whatever it was… she didn’t like it.

Vi shrugged, trying to play it off, but her voice came out quiet. “Helps with the stress, I guess.”

When you took a step closer, Vi’s shoulders tensed slightly. But when you stopped just shy of standing shoulder to shoulder with her, leaving a short distance between the two of you, she immediately dropped the cigarette she’d been holding, even though she was no where near finished. The bottom of her shoe came down on it a second later, snuffing out the ember.

It was almost instinctive, the way she straightened slightly, as though your presence alone made her feel the need to be… better, cleaner, less like the person she’d become and more like the one she used to be when you were hers.

She shoved her hands back into her pockets, not knowing what to do with them, her jaw tightening as she glanced sideways to look at you, a flicker of a guilty look crossing her face.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” you say.

Vi blinked, looking at you more fully now. “Do what?”

“Pretend,” you said, your eyes meeting hers. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. It’s just… surprising, that’s all.”

“I don’t… really wanna give you another reason to think I’m someone you don’t recognize,” she admitted quietly, her forearms leaning against the railing as she waited for you to respond.

“I don’t think you’re a stranger, Vi,” you said finally, and she stiffened slightly. “It’s just—it’s been a while since we saw each other, so...”

Vi turned to face you, and for a second, she just stared, her breath catching in her throat like she forgot how to speak.

God, you looked even more beautiful up close. She could see how you’ve grown, how the years had softened and shaped you in ways she hadn’t been there to witness. The dim light traced the curve of your face, catching the slope of your nose and the fullness of your lips.

And her eyes stayed there—on your lips—longer than they should have, and all she could think about was how they used to feel against hers. How you used to kiss her so softly.

She wondered if you could feel it, this pull between you both, with everything unsaid and everything she wished she could take back. God, how she wanted to reach out, to close the distance and take your face in her hands. To kiss you like she used to, like no time had passed, like she hadn’t spent every day missing you.

“How long have you been back in town?” you asked softly, and your voice broke through her thoughts.

Vi blinked and forced herself to focus on your eyes instead of your lips. Your voice was gentle, tentative, like you were testing the waters, not really sure where this conversation might go.

“Not long,” she said finally. “A couple of days.”

You nodded, and she could see the way your lips pressed together, as if you were holding back some words.

“How… have you been?” Vi asked, her voice almost trembling with nerves.

It was quiet for a bit, and she felt like she could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

Fuck, it was such a stupid thing to ask, she thought. It felt too small, too casual. But she didn’t know what else to say.

You turned your gaze to her. Her stomach twisted when she saw the way your lips parted, hesitating like you were choosing your words carefully. She hated that she didn’t know what was going through your mind. Once upon a time, she could read you like her favorite song, but now, it was like trying to decipher lyrics in a language she no longer spoke.

“I’ve been okay,” you said finally. “Busy, I guess. Definitely not as busy as you, but... um, I’ve been working with mom at her flower shop.”

Vi nodded slowly, her throat dry. Okay. It wasn’t the worst thing you could’ve said, but it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, either.

Honestly… she wanted you to tell her more. So much more. That… you missed her, maybe. That you thought about her. That maybe there was still some small part of your heart that belonged to her.

But she couldn’t push for that.

“I… I’ve actually just paid for a lease on this spot for a bookshop downtown, so…” you said next, your voice dipping into something shy.

You shifted your gaze, looking down at your hands for a moment before glancing back at Vi.

“A bookshop?” she repeated, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. “That’s… that’s amazing. Seriously.”

You felt a blush creeping up your neck at the sound of her voice. It wasn’t just the words—it was the way she said them, like she believed in you without hesitation, the same way she always used to. You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, trying to steady yourself under her gaze.

“It’s not open yet, but it’s coming together,” you continued, your words rushed. “I have to get supplies and… you know, order books to sell. I’m still getting it all set up next week…”

Vi nodded, her lips parting like she wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come. Instead, she just stared at you, the pride in her eyes unmistakable.

“Yeah,” she replied. “I… I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks,” you murmured, glancing down at your hands again. You felt the urge to keep talking, to fill the space with something else. “After my book did well, I just thought… I’ve always wanted a book shop, anyway.”

“Yeah, I know…” Vi said quietly, almost like she was thinking aloud.

Her eyebrows lifted at the mention of your book.

“I-I mean—Your book,” she echoed, a faint grin tugging at her lips. “I saw it. Well, I didn’t just see it—I bought it. And read it. Twice, actually.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “You read my book?”

“Of course, I did,” she said, like it wasn’t even a question.

Vi smiled at that, but there was something bittersweet in the curve of her lips. She wanted to tell you that she’d read it more than twice. That she kept it with her when she’d travel on tours, tucked away in her suitcase like a piece of you she couldn’t let go of.

But she bit her tongue, knowing that wasn’t something you needed to hear—not now, not after all this time.

“Did you like it?”

Vi looked at you, a slow and gentle smile creeping up on her face as she said, “Yeah.”

What she didn’t tell you was that she never actually had the heart to finish it.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to know how it ended. She did. She wanted to devour every word you’d written, the same way she always used to lose herself in you. She could hear you in every sentence, see you in the way you painted your characters and wove their lives together.

And she liked to pretend that as long as she hadn’t reached the end, there was still something left between you. That there was still more to the story.

So when she’d get close to the end, her hands would freeze.

It felt too final. Too much like closure.

And closure was the last thing she wanted.

Vi cleared her throat and shifted on her feet awkwardly, tearing her gaze away from you.

“Feels weird thinking Jayce and Mel are married now,” she said roughly, just something to say.

Her lips quirked into a weak smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes, which darted back to you despite her best efforts to keep them fixed on the town ahead of her.

You chuckled softly, and the sound of it sent a ripple through her chest, and she swore she could feel her heart break all over again.

“Yeah,” you said, leaning against the railing. “It feels like just yesterday they were arguing about who was better at chemistry, and now here they are.”

“Bet Jayce’s still a pain in the ass, though,” she muttered.

But her smile faded as she looked down at the ground, her scuffed boots suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world. In reality, she just wanted to keep talking to you, to keep hearing your voice for as long as she can, not knowing when she’s ever going to get this chance again.

“Mel definitely agrees with that.”

Then, there was silence.

You moved slightly, your fingers trailing the edge of the railing as you watched her. She hadn’t changed, not really. But something about her was different. You couldn’t name it. It was like she was trying to keep herself contained, fighting to hide the parts of her she didn’t want you to see.

“How about you?”

Vi’s gaze flicked up to meet yours like you startled her from a daydream. She blinked, her fingers loosening around the railing, but she didn’t quite look at you. Not directly.

“Huh?” she breathed.

“How have you been?” you repeated.

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out at first. Then, a small, shaky laugh slipped from her lips.

“I—” She cut herself off, her fingers running through her hair, trying to appear calm.

I miss you, she wanted to say.

Vi met your gaze for a split second, but then her eyes flickered downward again, a soft breath escaping her lips.

“I’ve been… alright,” she said. She glanced at you briefly, the faintest flicker nervousness—maybe even guilt—crossing her face before her gaze fell to the ground. “The band’s on a break right now, so… I’ll be home for a while.”

You nodded slowly, her words repeating in your head.

Home. It sounded strange coming from her. Vi was always moving. You remember nights when you’d wish she was home, remembering how you’d ask her in every call and text wondering when she’ll be back home, even if it’s just for a short while.

She glanced back up at you, her eyes searching yours like she was trying to figure out how you felt about her answer. The faint light from inside the party caught the edges of her hair, making her pink strands glow softly in the dim light. Again, she looked the same, and yet not at all. She looked older, not just in age, but in the way her shoulders sagged slightly, like the weight of her own world had finally caught up to her.

“Home, huh?” you said softly, the word tasting bittersweet on your tongue.

“Yeah.”

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The quiet stretched between you, broken only by the muffled sounds of music and laughter spilling out from the party behind you.

Vi shifted on her feet all over again, her hands brushing the seam of her pants as she glanced down for a beat, then back up at you. She looked almost timid, carefully thinking and choosing her words before speaking.

“I’m, uh… staying at my dad’s house,” she mentioned out of nowhere.

Her eyes darted to yours briefly before she looked away again, scratching the back of her neck once more—it was a sign that she was nervous, you knew it too well.

She hesitated for a moment again, as though debating whether or not to say the next part, and then just blurted out, “Um… if you need help with that bookshop thing... I… I could help. You know, with lifting boxes, books or whatever. Anything. Whenever you need.”

The words tumbled out in a rush, and her cheeks flushed slightly as she stood there, waiting for you were going to say. It was such a clumsy offer, but it was also… sweet. You could tell from the way she said it, from the way her hands fidgeted at her sides, from the way her eyes flickered to yours and then back to the ground, that she wasn’t just trying to be polite.

You didn’t say anything at first, and in the silence, Vi’s nervousness seemed to grow. She bit the inside of her cheek, her gaze darting to yours again as if to gauge your reaction.

“I mean, no pressure,” she added quickly, her voice stumbling over the words. “I just thought… i-if you needed help or anything… I’m around.”

She forced another small, lopsided smile. And suddenly, it hit you how much she had changed.

But you only offered a small, polite smile back.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you say softly, shaking your head. “You’re on a break—you should be… I don’t know. Resting? I think—”

But before you can finish, Vi cuts you off, “I want to.”

The words spill out of her with a force that surprises even her, and for a moment, she freezes, like she’s unsure if she sounded to desperate. Her jaw tightens, and she swallows hard before continuing, softer this time.

“I mean it, I really do. I want to help. I… I’d like to… Besides, I don’t really have any future plans anyways, so... It’ll keep me busy.”

Her voice trails off at the end, and she looks at you with those same earnest eyes.

For a moment, you’re not sure what to say.

You search her face, taking in the faint flush on her cheeks, the slight furrow of her brows, the way she looks like she’s bracing herself for rejection.

You exhale slowly, your heart caught somewhere between wanting to let her in and knowing the risks that come with it.

“Vi…” you start softly, but she shakes her head before you can go on, her lips curving into a faint, almost self-conscious smile.

You hesitate, the words catching on the edge of your tongue. Vi is standing there, her hands shoved deep into her pockets. Her eyes are locked on you, searching for some sort of an answer. She’s trying so hard to play it cool, but you’ve known her for too long to miss the way her shoulders tense, like she’s bracing herself for you to say no.

In Vi’s head, the words are quiet and repetitive saying, please say yes, please say yes, please…

You let out a slow breath, your lips curving into a small, tentative smile.

“Okay…” you say softly.

Fuck.

Her eyes flicker, catching the faintest glimmer of surprise, but she doesn’t move or speak, just waits, like she’s afraid to push too hard.

You glance away for a moment, smoothing your hands over the fabric of your dress, and then add, “If anything comes up… I’ll ask you first.”

Her shoulders relax as her lips curl into a grin—not a wide, toothy grin like the ones you remember from years ago, but a quiet, shy smile. It’s like she’s trying to play it cool, but the spark of happiness in her eyes betrays her.

“Yeah?” she says, like she’s making sure she didn’t mishear you.

You nod and Vi exhales a soft chuckle, looking down at her boots for a second before meeting your gaze again.

“Okay,” she murmurs. “Okay.”

“I, um… I should head back to the party,” you say softly, a bit hesitant, like you’re not sure whether you’re ready to leave or if you’re saying it just to give yourself permission to.

You give her a gentle smile.

“It was nice seeing you, Violet.”

Her name falls from your lips so easily, like it hasn’t been years since she’s heard you say it. And God, she swears she melts—completely, utterly melts—like the sound of her name coming from you is the softest, warmest thing in the world. Nobody really calls her that anymore. To everyone else, she’s just Vi. To you… she doesn’t even know if she’s still that girl, still your Violet, but the way you say it makes her feel like she could be.

She tries to play it cool, tries to keep herself from staring too hard at you or letting you see how badly she wants you to stay just a little longer, but it’s impossible. Everything about you—your voice, your smile, the way you’re standing there looking so fucking beautiful—it’s all driving her crazy.

Vi just nods, her voice coming out quieter than she intended.

“Yeah… yeah, you too.”

You give her one last smile before turning to leave, and Vi’s chest tightens as she watches you go, your dress swaying lightly as you walk back toward the noise.

She wants to call after you, to stop you, to ask you for just a few more minutes. But she doesn’t. Instead, she stays where she is, hands shoved into her jacket pockets, replaying the entire conversation, the way you said her name over and over.

The days passed slowly, each one dragging way more than the last, and Vi felt every excruciating second of it. She’d never been good at waiting—patience was never her strong suit—but this was quite possibly worse than anything she’d ever experienced. You were on her mind constantly, and every time she closed her eyes, she saw you standing on that balcony, your voice soft, smiling at her in that pretty dress.

And now… now she was stuck in silence, waiting for a sign, for anything, for you.

It was maddening.

She’d been sitting on your number for days, her thumb hovering over her phone screen more times than she could count.

She’d asked Jayce for it the day after the wedding, trying to keep her voice casual and her reasoning vague—something about wanting to just talk or check in, honestly, she couldn’t even remember what she’d said now. Jayce hadn’t questioned it, just handed it over with a knowing grin and a pat on the shoulder.

“Good luck,” he’d said, and Vi had laughed it off at the time, pretending it didn’t matter as much as it did.

But now, sitting in her dad’s kitchen with her phone on the table in front of her, the wait was crushing her.

She’d tried to convince herself to wait for you to make the first move, but the days were stretching on, and every time her phone buzzed, her heart jumped, only to sink when it wasn’t you.

It was ridiculous, really, how much power you still had over her after all this time.

She felt like a teenager again, pacing her room, rehearsing what to say, overthinking every way you might respond.

Vi rubbed the back of her neck, glancing at the screen where your name stared back at her, the text box waiting for her to write something, anything. A call felt too forward, but a text… God, what was she even supposed to say? Hey, it was nice seeing you at the wedding? No, that sounded too formal. I can’t stop thinking about you and wish I had said more that night? Absolutely not.

She groaned and leaned back in her chair, glaring at the phone like it was mocking her. She’d faced stadiums full of screaming fans, interviews where every word mattered, even the pressure of writing entire albums with a deadline, and yet here she was, completely undone by the thought of texting you.

It seemed awfully familiar, though.

The last she had been staring at her phone like this, wanting to text you, to call you, was when you broke up with her in New York.

Vi remembers every message, every call, every desperate attempt to reach you after your flight home. She regretted everything, and she carried it with you everyday. Even now, years later, she can still feel it—the silence on the other end of the line, the way your name sat at the top of her call log, unanswered, untouched, until eventually, it disappeared altogether.

She had tried to chase you that morning—had jolted awake to the blaring red numbers on the alarm clock, the kind of panic that claws its way up your throat, suffocating.

But she never made it on time.

The hangover from the night before had her glued to the bed for too long, her knuckles slightly bruised from punching that guy at the party, slowed her limbs and dulled her mind when she needed to be moving, running—to you. She remembered stumbling through her hotel room, throwing on last night’s pants, grabbing her keys with shaking hands, but by the time she had made it downstairs and shoved open the lobby doors, the realization had already sunk its teeth into her—she wasn’t going to make it.

Still, she had sent the text.

She had sat in the driver’s seat of her car, fingers gripping her phone so tightly her knuckles had gone white. She had stared at the screen, waiting, willing your name to light up in reply. But nothing came.

She tried calling. She had dialed your number over and over, barely able to breathe as the rings echoed in her ear, taunting her.

Voicemail.

Again.

And again. And again.

She had meant it. She wanted to tell you that she knew she had screwed up, that she had let the late nights and missed dates and unreturned calls and the fact that she barely came home piled up into something unbearable. That she had let you slip through her fingers when she should have been holding on for dear life.

But you never answered.

And then again later that night, after she had downed more drinks than she should have, after she had sat on the floor of her bathroom with her head in her hands, trying to piece together how everything had gone so wrong.

She promised. And she had kept that promise, had woken up with a headache, going through an interview she barely remembered, and then, the second she was free, she had called you.

And still, nothing.

The messages didn’t stop after that.

For weeks, she kept reaching out. The texts came in—some long, rambling apologies sent in the middle of the night, others as simple as “I miss you” or “Are you okay?” The calls never slowed, her thumb swiping over your name out of habit, out of desperation, out of some foolish, impossible hope that maybe this time you’d pick up.

But you never did.

And Vi was pretty sure it killed her.

It killed her to think that maybe, eventually, you would stop even reading them, stop seeing her name on your screen and feeling anything at all.

And yet, she still kept calling. Because she didn’t know how to stop. Because the thought of never hearing your voice again was somehow worse than hearing nothing at all, even if it was just your voicemail.

“I love you,” was her last message.

Vi let out a frustrated breath, running her hand through her hair as she stared at your name one more time. She didn’t want to seem desperate, but she also didn’t want to lose this chance, the tiny sliver of hope that had lodged itself in her chest since she’d seen you again.

She didn’t hear the door at first, her mind too distracted as she stared at her phone.

But then, the doorbell echoed through the house, dragging her out of her thoughts. Vi didn’t move at first, too paralyzed.

The silence stretched, and just as she began to wonder if she should check the door, Vander’s voice rang out from the other side of the house.

“Vi, it’s for you!”

Her breath caught in her throat.

Vi stood up slowly, her fingers still clutching her phone, her mind racing.

And then she heard it again. Her Vander’s voice, a little louder than usual, echoing from the front door.

“Vi, it’s for you!” Vander called out again.

Vi hesitated, frozen for a moment in the threshold of the room, unsure of what to do. She could hear muffled voices, something that sounded like small talk, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for anyone—least of all you—to walk through that door, to see her and disrupt the little bubble she’d built around herself.

And then, just as she took a hesitant step toward the hallway, she heard it.

A woman’s voice, sweet and unmistakable, calling out in the distance. It was your mom.

“Vi, sweetie, it’s been a while,” she said warmly.

Why was your mom here? Was she here for you? Did you send her?

“Uh, hi,” Vi stammered, her voice cracking slightly as she stepped closer to the doorway.

Her throat felt dry, and she wasn’t sure where to put her hands, so they hung awkwardly by her sides. She tried to muster a smile, but it faltered slightly under her nerves.

Your mom stood there, her familiar warm smile softening the edges of Vi’s unease.

“It’s so nice to see you,” she said kindly, her voice light and easy, as if years hadn’t passed since the last time they’d spoken. “You’ve grown so much.”

Vi forced a nod, her lips twitching into a polite grin.

“T-Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Anyway,” she said, waving a hand as if she was brushing away any lingering awkwardness, “I actually came by to ask for a bit of help.”

“Oh?” she managed.

“Well,” your mom began, “____ has some books at the house that I’m supposed to drop off at her apartment, but I have to get to the flower shop soon. She told me to ask you to do it if you were available.”

She offered a sheepish smile, “Was thinking you could spare my back from lifting some of those boxes, you see.”

Vi wasn’t sure how long she stood there, frozen in place, as they sank in. Your mom’s voice was calm and casual, but to Vi, it felt like the ground had shifted beneath her.

You told her to ask me? The thought looped in her head.

“Oh, uh…” Vi started, the words faltering as she processed the request. She rubbed the back of her neck, and glanced briefly at Vander, who stood just behind her in the kitchen, pretending not to listen but very clearly eavesdropping. She caught his small, encouraging nod, and it pushed her to speak again. “Yes! Yeah, of course. I can do that.”

Your mom’s face brightened instantly.

“Oh, thank you, sweetie. That’s such a big help.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a small slip of paper, handing it to Vi. “Here’s the address to her apartment. The boxes are over in the backyard. Just leave them wherever she needs them.”

Vi took the paper with trembling fingers, her gaze flicking down to the scrawled handwriting. It wasn’t yours, but it didn’t matter. Just the thought of stepping into your place, of touching something that belonged to you, made her chest ache with excitement.

Your mom beamed. “I appreciate it.”

Vi nodded, offering another polite smile, though her mind was already racing ahead. She watched as your mom said her goodbyes and left, the door clicking softly behind her.

Once the house was quiet again, Vander leaned against the counter, arms crossed, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips. “You gonna be okay there, kid?”

Vi didn’t answer. She just stood in the doorway, staring at the door.

“Uh-huh.”

Her heart was pounding in her chest, and without a second thought, she spun on her heel, running toward her room. Vander’s low chuckle echoed faintly behind her, but she didn’t stop to say anything. Her mind was racing too fast, her body moving on autopilot.

Vi nearly stumbled as she made it to her room, her hand shooting out to grab the edge of her desk for balance. Her eyes immediately locked onto her old car keys lying on the surface. Her fingers curled tightly around the worn leather keychain, and in one quick motion, she stuffed the keys into her pocket and spun around to leave.

“You’re leaving now?” Vander teased from the kitchen as she all but bolted past him. He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, watching her in amusement.

“I’ll be back later!” Vi called back over her shoulder, already halfway out the door.

Before he could respond, she was gone, the screen door slamming shut behind her. He shook his head, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he chuckled softly to himself.

“Kids,” he muttered, shaking his head as he turned back to whatever he’d been doing.

Vi moved quickly, her boots crunching against the grass as she ran to the next house, grabbing the boxes of books from the backyard like your mother had said, putting them in the trunk before getting in to start the truck.

As the engine roared as she turned her key, she gripped the wheel tightly, her palms slightly clammy against the worn leather. She let out a slow, shaky breath, her mind still spinning. The thought of seeing you again, even in such a simple, practical way, made her stomach twist into knots.

She adjusted the rearview mirror, catching a brief glimpse of herself, her wide eyes betraying the nerves she felt. With a soft huff, she shook her head, trying to steady herself.

“It’s just some boxes,” she murmured under her breath, as if saying it out loud might make it easier.

With that thought in her mind, Vi threw the truck into reverse and backed out of the driveway. She didn’t bother to turn on the radio as she drove, her hands tightening on the wheel, her foot pressing just a little harder on the gas as everything out the windows blurred past.

When Vi pulled up to your apartment building, she stayed in the driver’s seat longer than she’d planned, her fingers drumming anxiously against the steering wheel. The grumble of the truck’s engine had faded, leaving only the sound of her shallow breathing and the occasional creak of the old leather seat beneath her. She stared up at the building, the sunlight glinting off the windows, and felt her stomach twist. This shouldn’t be such a big deal—just a delivery, just a favor—but it pressed down on her like it meant everything.

She glanced down at herself, frowning at her choice of clothes. A faded hoodie she’d thrown on in a rush and a pair of worn jeans she’d been meaning to replace for years. Her sneakers were scuffed, the laces frayed at the edges. She tugged at the hem of the hoodie self-consciously, her lips pressing into a thin line. Why hadn’t she dressed up a little more? Why hadn’t she at least run a comb through her hair before bolting out the door?

The truck’s rearview mirror caught her eye, and she tilted it down slightly to get a look at herself. Her hair was messy, not in the cool, effortless way she might’ve liked. Her hair grew longer, but she’s been meaning to get a hair cut from her hair stylist before the band took a break. She reached up to smooth it down, her fingers catching on a knot. With a frustrated sigh, she shook her head and let her hand drop.

Get a grip, Vi, she thought. It’s not a date. You’re dropping off some boxes, that’s it.

But even as she said the words, they felt hollow. She wanted to look good for you. She wanted you to see her and—what? Be impressed?

With a heavy sigh, Vi shoved the door open and climbed out of the truck. She grabbed the first box from the passenger seat, balancing it carefully against her hip as she slammed the door shut with her foot. Her keys jingled softly in her pocket as she made her way toward the building, her shoes scuffing against the pavement.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted an eternity. Vi shifted the box in her arms, her palms growing damp from the cardboard’s edges. She stared at the numbers lighting up above the door, each floor bringing her closer. Her heart was pounding again, and she cursed herself for it.

When the elevator doors slid open, she stepped out and hesitated, her eyes scanning the numbers on the doors in the halls until she found yours. Standing there, just a few feet away, she felt her resolve falter again. She reached up to knock, then paused, glancing down at herself one last time. The hoodie, the jeans, her hair—she sighed, knowing there wasn’t much she could do about it now.

Finally, Vi forced herself to step forward, swallowing the lump in her throat as she raised her knuckles to the door and knocked.

The door creaked open a moment later, and Vi’s breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t thought about what she’d say, but all those half-formed ideas completely disintegrated the second she saw you.

You were standing there in a loose tank top that dipped low enough to hint at your curves, your cleavage, paired with a pair of shorts that revealed more of your legs than Vi could handle seeing without losing her composure.

And she wasn’t ready for this at all.

Your eyes widened when you saw her, your body jolting slightly, not expecting her of all people to be on the other side of the door at this hour.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, taking a step back out of instinct. “Vi. Y-You’re early.”

Vi blinked, trying to force her brain to catch up with the situation, but her eyes kept drifting down your body, betraying her. Her gaze flitted from the flush in your cheeks to the slight curve of your collarbone and lower before she caught herself and looked away, focusing on the box in her hands.

“I, uh…” Vi cleared her throat, her voice suddenly hoarse. “Yeah, I—guess I didn’t realize how fast I’d get here.”

She wanted to curse herself for how awkward she sounded, but she couldn’t seem to focus on anything except how close you were, how the faint scent of your perfume drifted into her nose.

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, clearly flustered, your smile shy but warm.

“I didn’t think you’d be here so soon,” you said, glancing down at yourself briefly like you were suddenly self-conscious. “I—uh, I didn’t really dress for company.”

Vi shook her head quickly, the words tumbling out before she could think them through.

“Oh! No, you’re—you look…” She stopped and bit down on the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to regain her footing. “You look fine. Really great, I mean. Not that I was looking—I-I… Just—uh, it’s fine. You’re fine.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Not smooth. At all. The heat in her cheeks was unmistakable now, and she wanted nothing more than to melt and disappear into the floor. You let out a soft laugh, and it was warm, teasing, in a way that made Vi’s heart flutter.

“Well, come in,” you said, stepping aside and gesturing for her to enter. “You’re already here, so…”

Vi nodded as she stepped in. She kept her head down, her jaw tight, her fingers gripping the box pretending to focus on it instead of you.

You stepped aside, letting her cross the threshold into your apartment, and she immediately felt her nerves spike. It was cozy with soft warm lighting and shelves packed full of books and little frames of photos you’ve taken that she wasn’t apart of. She found herself lingering by the door, holding the box tightly as her eyes wandered more. A dark blue blanket was draped over the back of the couch, your yellow mug from earlier sat on the coffee table, and she could faintly smell of, maybe, vanilla or something sweet in the air.

“I—I’m gonna go get dressed,” you said suddenly, moving awkwardly on your feet like her being in the room was throwing you off your balance too. You gestured vaguely to your tank top and shorts, cheeks slightly pink. “I know I only asked if you could drop those off, but I’d really like to get them to the shop as soon as possible, so...”

Vi only nodded, her mouth too dry to form a proper response, her hands gripping the box tighter than necessary.

“Yeah, no problem,” she muttered, barely hearing her own voice over her thoughts. “I-I can drive us there if you want.”

You gave her a quick smile and turned to head down the short hallway toward what she assumed was your bedroom.

And Vi tried, really, really tried to keep her focus elsewhere, but her resolve crumbled the second you walked away.

Her gaze shamelessly dropped down to your ass, trailing after you as your hips swayed naturally with each step, her brain short-circuiting at the sight. Oh, how she wished she was allowed to pull you close like she used to, pressed your ass against her front, her hands on your hips, her lips against the side of your neck, kissing and licking and marking—

Fuck. Stop. Stop.

She tore her eyes away, her face heating up in an instant. What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t seventeen anymore, and yet here she was, acting like some lovesick kid with no self-control.

But, really, how could she not? It had been years, and somehow you were sexier—no, even more beautiful now than you were back then. You always had this effect on her, and she learned today that it has never gone away.

She sighed and glanced up at the ceiling, trying to distract herself by taking in more of your apartment. Everything here was you. She could picture you curled up on that couch, a book in hand, completely at ease. She could picture you at the little kitchen counter, maybe making coffee in the mornings, the sunlight spilling in through the window. It was such a simple, lovely image that Vi could almost feel herself getting lost in it, wanting to be a part of it in some way.

Vi set the box down gently by the couch, glancing around your cozy apartment one more time before lowering herself onto the cushions. She sank into them, her fingers drumming absently on her knees as she tried not to think too much. But waiting like this, surrounded by all the little pieces of your life, made it impossible not to.

She let out a slow breath and ran a hand through her hair, trying to keep her thoughts in check. The sound of your door creaking open snapped her out of it, and she instinctively looked up, her breath catching the moment she saw you. She didn’t even realize she was staring until her chest tightened again, a small voice in the back of her head reminding her that she had no right to look at you like this anymore.

“Mel dropped some books off yesterday too,” you said, your voice pulling her out of her thoughts. “I’ll grab them, and then we can take all of it down to the shop.”

Vi nodded dumbly, her throat feeling dry as she struggled to find a coherent response.

You turned toward a small side table where a several of other books were stacked, and Vi took the moment to glance at you again, her chest aching as the reality of it all hit her. And all she could think about was how fucking beautiful you looked. As you bent slightly to pick up the stack, Vi clenched her fists against her thighs, forcing herself to look away.

She followed you on your way out, silently wishing she could stay in there a little longer to explore what else you’ve been up to, to see everything that was connected to you.

But she couldn’t anymore, not when you closed the door and locked it quickly behind her.

You stood beside her in the elevator, close enough that she could catch the faintest trace of your perfume. It was practically the same scent she remembered, the one that used to linger on her clothes after you’d hugged her goodbye. Vi glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, watching as you fidgeted with the strap of your bag, clutching the books Mel dropped off to donate to your chest carefully, and your lips pressed together in a thin line.

Neither of you spoke.

Vi was nervous.

She wanted to say something but she didn’t really know how. It was a strange, being quiet, and she hated how much she liked it—just being near you, even if it wasn’t the same as before.

The elevator dinged softly as it reached the ground floor, and the doors slid open to the parking lot. Vi stepped out first, holding the box carefully, and you followed close behind. Her boots scuffed against the concrete as she led the way toward her truck, parked in one of the far corners next to a big tree.

When the truck came into view, your steps slowing just slightly. Vi noticed immediately, glancing back at you with a questioning look, but you didn’t dare to say anything. You just stood there, staring at the familiar sight of her old, beat-up pickup, the one she used to drive you around in. She could see it in your eyes—your eyebrows rising, the way your lips parted just slightly, as if you were about to say something but thought better of it.

Vi remembered everything about that truck—how she’d spent weeks fixing it up herself in high school after Vander brought it home for her on her sixteenth birthday, how proud she’d been when it finally roared to life. She remembered the late night drives, the way you’d slide across the bench seat to lean against her as she steered with one hand. She remembered the drive-in movies, the cheap popcorn, and the way you’d press a kiss to her cheek when you thought she wasn’t paying attention. She remembered her arm resting behind your head as she leaned in to distract you from that movie just past the window, her lips pressing against yours before moving down to your jaw, your neck, until she had you on your back against the bench seat of the truck, her mouth exploring your body excitedly, enjoying the feeling of your hands holding on to her like you depending on it.

And she wondered if you remembered it the same way she did.

You smiled faintly, but you still didn’t say anything. Instead, you walked up to the truck slowly, your hand brushing along the edge of the faded red paint.

Vi hesitated, feeling her pulse quicken. “You okay?”

You nodded softly. Your gaze lingered on the truck, tracing over every detail, every dent and scratch that time hadn’t erased.

Vi cleared her throat, forcing a shaky laugh to break the silence. “She’s still holding up,” she said, her voice softer than she intended. “Vander fixed her up when he found out I was coming home.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “It’s still the same.”

Vi wanted to ask what you were thinking—if seeing the truck brought back all the same memories for you as it did for her—but she bit her tongue.

She didn’t want to push.

The drive to the shop felt a little longer than it actually was.

Vi gripped the steering wheel of her truck a little tighter, her palms slightly clammy against the worn leather. The ride was quiet, almost painfully so, but she didn’t want to break the silence—not when she was afraid any word out of her mouth would sound awkward or clumsy, maybe. But every so often, her eyes darted toward you, sitting there in the seat next to her, looking out the window.

You didn’t say much either, only the directions to the location, and that only made Vi more nervous. Were you nervous, too? Or maybe just tired?

Your hands rested lightly in your lap, your fingers brushing against the fabric of your jeans as if you needed something to do. She wanted to ask what you were thinking, wanted to know what it felt like to finally see your dream of a book shop finally coming true, but the words died in her throat.

So instead, she just focused on the road.

When the truck finally pulled into the parking lot of your shop, Vi parked and cut the engine. She stepped out quickly, wanting to busy herself with something, anything, and moved to the back of the truck to grab the boxes of books you’d brought along. You followed and as you reached for one of the smaller boxes, Vi stopped you with a gentle shake of her head.

“I’ve got it,” she said softly, lifting the heavier boxes with ease. “Just lead the way.”

You nodded, your eyes darting to her for a brief moment before you started toward the front door. The shop was was in a nice spot really, tucked between a florist and a bakery, a nice park and garden across the street, but even from the outside, Vi could see the potential in it. The windows were clean, sunlight streaming through and lighting up the empty space inside.

When you unlocked the door and stepped in, Vi followed eagerly. The smell of fresh wood and paint filled the air, and even though there wasn’t much inside yet—just a few shelves and a small counter—she could already see it coming together.

“This is… wow,” she murmured, setting the boxes down near one of the shelves. “It’s cozy.”

You gave her a small smile, your hands brushing nervously against the hem of your shirt as you moved toward the shelves.

“It’s still a work in progress,” you said quietly. “A lot of work, actually. I’m waiting on more shelves to come in, and I still need to set up the counter, but… it’s a start.”

Vi nodded, watching as you walked around the place, your hands ghosting over the edges of the shelves like you were already imagining them full of books.

She could see the pride in your eyes, also with a tiny hint of worry, and she wanted to tell you how amazing it all was, how proud she was of you for making it happen. But instead, she swallowed the words.

Vi leans against one of the bookshelves like she belongs there, casual and easy, hands tucked into her pockets, the stretch of her shirt over her toned arms doing nothing to help your already scattered thoughts. Her smirk is just a little lopsided, just enough to make your stomach flip before she nods her head toward the unopened boxes in the corner of the shop.

“I can help set those up if you want,” she offers softly, like she hasn’t been gone all these years. Like she hasn’t spent a lifetime on the road, playing sold-out shows, living a life far removed from the one you built here.

You try not to stare, but it’s impossible.

God, she looks good. Too good.

It’s infuriating how effortless it is for her, how she can just stand there and make your mind short-circuit, even knowing you shouldn’t be thinking of her in that way anymore. The warm sunlight coming through the shop windows catches the sharp angle of her jaw, the scar over her brow, the faded pink of her hair, a little messy, a little longer, like she’s run her hands through it one too many times today. She’s older now, more refined in some ways, but she’s still Vi—you could see it.

You swallow, forcing yourself to snap out of it, crossing your arms over your chest like it’ll somehow shield you from how much she still gets under your skin.

“I mean…” You glance at the unopened boxes, pretending to consider it when really. “If you don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Vi grins, and it’s so damn charming, so easy, that you nearly roll your eyes at yourself for reacting to it. “Nope. Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Alright,” you murmur, more to yourself than her. “Just… don’t make a mess.”

Vi chuckles warmly, almost teasing as she pushes off the bookshelf and moves closer.

“No promises,” she says, and the way she’s looking at you makes you think she’s not just talking about the shelves.

And you—well, you’re not sure if that terrifies you or if you’ve been waiting for it all along.

Vi keeps showing up.

At first, it’s under the guise of helping—the heavy lifting, the putting together more furniture until the shop starts to take real shape.

The first couple of weeks, she barely takes a break, sleeves rolled up, hands smudged with dust and the occasional splinter on her calloused hands, helping with hauling in shipments of new books before you can even get to the door, without you even needing to ask. She’d wear a fitted shirt or a tank top sometimes, showing off her strong arms as she worked—and you knew for a fact she was doing it on purpose.

You watch her from behind the counter sometimes, the way she moves like she’s so at home here. You spend your days organizing books while she works on all the heavy stuff, sneaking glances when you think she won’t notice.

Sometimes she catches you, and she’ll smirk in a way that used to make you weak in the knees back in high school, and you have to turn away quickly, pretending you weren’t staring.

You tell yourself it’s nothing, that it’s just nice having an extra set of hands around.

But the shop is nearly done now—the shelves are up, the cozy reading corner is arranged just right, most books in their place—and Vi is… still here.

She stops by in the mornings, sometimes bringing coffee just the way you like them, sometimes walking in just because she was wondering how you were doing. She lingers, finds reasons to stay even when there’s no more work to do.

And you let her.

Maybe because it’s comfortable… and familiar.

Or maybe because, deep down, some part of you doesn’t want her to stop showing up.

One evening, as you’re stacking a few last-minute books onto a display, Vi leans against the counter, watching you like she’s been doing all day.

“So,” she says, and you can hear the grin in her voice before you even look up. “Think you’re finally ready to open?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, a small smile tugging softly at the corner of your lips. “I think so.”

Vi nods, eyes lingering on you longer than they should, like she’s about to say something else—something important—but instead, she just pushes off the counter, stretching slightly.

“Good,” she says. “It’s all looking really good.”

“Thanks, Vi,” you smile softly. “You know, I should really pay you… for the work you did, I mean. You did a lot of it and—”

Vi’s lips quirk into a smirk, “Yeah? Gonna put me on payroll?”

You shake your head, feeling suddenly shy under her stare, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean it—”

“C’mon, don’t do that.” She cuts you off with a quiet scoff, shaking her head. “It’s fine really. I just… put some shelves together. Carried a few boxes.”

Vi watches you carefully, her smirk fading into something softer. She looks down for a second, her hand coming up to scratch the back of her neck, thinking about what to say.

“You don’t owe me anything,” she says quietly. “Besides, I told you I wanted to help.”

And the way she says it—the way her gaze lingers on you, the way her voice dips slightly—makes your breath hitch for a second.

Because it almost sounds like she means more than just the shop.

Like she’s saying, I wanted to be here. I wanted to see you.

“I… still feel like I should do something…” Your voice trails off as you look away from her.

The tiniest of pouts plays at your lips as you cross your arms, before glancing back up at Vi. And damn it, she misses it. She misses you.

She smiles despite herself, the corners of her lips curving up before she can stop it.

“Well, you could come to Vander’s this Friday,” Vi suggests, trying to keep her voice light, casual.

You blink, a little surprised by the suggestion.

“Vander’s?” you repeat.

Vi clears her throat and adjusts her footing, her hand coming to scratch the back of her neck again, “T-The band is playing a small set… for, uh, Benzo’s birthday…”

“Benzo’s birthday?” you ask, your voice a little softer than before.

Her smile falters, just a bit, as if she’s not sure how to tell you this.

“Yeah… I just thought, I’d really like it if you came,” Vi continues, her words trailing off, her eyes softening as she catches the way you’re watching her.

You pause for a moment, letting her words sink in, and you realize there’s something more to this invitation than she’s letting on.

And you didn’t know if you should accept it.

“I didn’t know Benzo’s birthday was coming up,” you reply with a soft laugh.

To be fair, you haven’t even seen him or Vander in a while ever since… well…

“It’d be nice… to have you there,” Vi says again, a little more tentative this time.

The truth is, you’re scared.

Scared of what it might mean to show up at her show, to step into her world again, even for just a night, remembering how hard it had been the last time you were together.

But, you can’t help yourself, and you say…

“Okay,” you say softly despite the nervous flutter in your stomach. “I’ll be there.”

Then, she smiles—genuine, full, like you’ve just given her something she wasn’t sure she’d get back. “Really? That’d be—yeah, that’d be great.”

“Friday then,” you say with a soft smile.

Vi nods, a little too eagerly, her whole body seeming to react before her mind even catches up.

“Mhm. Friday.”

Her voice is quiet but sure like a promise she intends to keep, like she’d carve the date into stone if you asked her to.

And god, the way she’s looking at you drives you absolutely fucking insane.

After all these years—she still looks at you like that. Like she’d do anything you asked her to. Like she’d drop everything if you told her to stay.

“I’ll see you then,” you murmur.

And Vi just stands there, watching you, her smile lingering long after you’ve turned away.

Fuck. She’s still very much in trouble.

series masterlist | next chapter (coming soon)

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[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

curious about your take on riddle's dream. i have seen people en masse claim that riddle yearns to a deliquent/"if he wasn't traumatized, he would be in a pop music club" and... it feels like such a literal interpretation (although there are some who are obv just joking) to the point of misinterpretation? i'm not very invested in riddle's story arc, but to me it read like a pretty clear "what if i was the worst version of myself (which riddle has been raised to see as being disobedient) and i was still loveable".

[You can read my thoughts on the book 7 chapter 12 part 3 update here!]

I think there’s a lot of different ways to interpret the dreams because of how… vaguely they’re written + their length + every player coming into the dreams with their own experiences which inform their POVs. For this reason, I don’t feel comfortable outright stating X or Y interpretation is “wrong”, and nor do I wish to be used as a means to validating one interpretation over the others. All I’m going to do this ask is explain how I personally interpreted Riddle’s dream. That’s all.

I don’t think Riddle wants to be a delinquent; this would be conflating a child’s desires to that of a delinquent. Yes, Riddle was detained be a police officer—but not for any violence or serious criminal actions. He was detained for singing in front of the police station (without a license) and causing a public disturbance (because of his amplifiers). Furthermore, Riddle doesn’t engage in any other criminal behaviors (unless you count not going to school, but a minor isn’t usually held liable for that; the onus is on his parents for not sending him). I think it would be more accurate to say that Riddle’s wishes are very child-like ones. He wants to be able to play with his friends all day, he ignores studying and obeying rules, he can eat tarts and drink sugary tea whenever he wants, he has doting parents that are always emotionally there for him, etc. These are not marks of delinquency, they are the innocent longings of an inner child that never got to be recognized.

While I don’t think it’s a guarantee that Riddle would be in Pop/Light Music Club had he had a more lenient mother, I do think that Riddle would want to explore creative outlets. He is noted as having a very strong imagination, but is limited in his life experiences and struggles to think for himself or to act outside of the concrete, as is defined by rules and laws. If these restraints were loosened up and he had actually been allowed and encouraged to explore other avenues, he might have found an interest in the arts and expressing himself through that. It could be a visual medium, a written medium, a musical medium, whatever.

I think music is what we jump to right away because he has a band in the dream, but I could easily see him dabbling in other areas too. Maybe music was chosen because it’s a group activity, and Riddle longs to be that setting. A happy family, a boy with lots of friends, you name it. You could also argue that Riddle went with music because that’s what he knew from his dorm members. Adeuce are in athletic clubs, which Riddle is sort of rubbish at, and Trey is in Science Club, which of course covers topics Riddle would already be studying irl. Cater’s club is the only one with a significant degree of creativity allowed. Riddle might have based his hobby in the dream off of Cater’s experiences. One telltale detail that supports this theory is that Riddle mentions people keep leaving because the band can’t stick to one genre, which is also true of Cater’s irl Pop/Light Music Club. Another thing to consider is that Riddle is able to conjure the look of delicious cakes and cookies but not replicate the taste because he’s not familiar with it. You could say this is also true of his being in a band. He looks the part, but we never hear him participating in it—perhaps because Riddle could have seen Cater rushing to a club meeting in his outfit, but not have actually heard him play. Therefore, it’s possible that Riddle’s dream is just pulling from his shallow understanding of what “being in a band” is about… the camaraderie of it. This, again, loops us back to Cater’s relationship with his fellow club members. It’s less about the actual playing and more about the vibes and hanging out with one another. Maybe Riddle heard stories from Cater about this and got curious? This same logic applies to other aspects of his dream. He seems to emulate what he has heard from his dorm members in general. Loving parents who are there for him (like Trey), the bout of delinquency (like Deuce), the ability to speak his mind (like Ace). Riddle is wanting to be more like his peers, who were able to have “normal” experiences. To me, it feels like he used his dorm members as templates (which he combined with his own desire to have a fulfilling childhood) because Riddle himself doesn’t have a clear concept of what it means to live freely. After all, he only has like 1-2 months of playing with Trey and Chenya to go off of compared to a few years with his Heartslabyul classmates.

As I said earlier in this post, I don’t think the Riddle we see in the first layer of his dream is meant to be “the worst version of himself” or “Riddle but disobedient”; it reads as more of Riddle indulging in everything he missed out on in his childhood. Sweets, parental love, playing all day with friends, loudly and openly expressing himself through music, exploring creative ventures, making happy memories… I don’t believe these are bad things or borne out of Riddle wanting to be rebellious or disobedient, they’re just consequences of acting like a kid.

I do find it interesting that so many aspects of himself were entirely written over. However, I don’t see it as Riddle thinking he has to be a different person (as in, having a different personality?) in order to be worthy of love. Riddle was definitely still able to make friends as a child even with the quiet personality he had then. It was possible. Nothing in his backstory makes me think Riddle believes he wasn’t deserving of love—but he may think that love has to be earned, that love is conditional. And what is that condition? Following the rules, obeying, performing well in exams. That’s what he was taught would earn him success and his mother’s love and that’s what he enforced in early book 1. I think… Riddle definitely wants to be someone else, but in the sense that he wants to be born into different circumstances. Parents that get along, a dad that has time for him, a mom that dotes on him, no magic, no expectations to shoulder, lax rules, etc. This ties in with Riddle wanting to live the childhood he feels he never had. A childhood where he had no friends, where he studied all the time, where his mother calorie counted for him, where he was not allowed to play video games or watch movies, where he was not allowed to choose his own clothes or career or anything. Several of these sentiments were expressed post-OB.

Now that being said, everything I just discussed covers only the first layer of Riddle’s dream. I see the idea of Riddle thinking he has to be someone else coming through a little stronger in the second layer of his dream. That’s the part where everyone is being chased through the destroyed rose maze. Here, we see a much more extreme and even more domineering Riddle than what we saw in book 1. He lords over his students such that even his versions of Ace and Deuce have fallen into line and mindlessly follow his commands. The mob students are scared of him—and though Riddle is aware of it, he is content. They salute him and praise him for his iron fist. He is the most correct, after all. He is ruling just as his mother would, he is being the person his mother wants him to be.

This is expanded upon further in the third layer of his dream, in which he faces his inner darkness. Riddle confronts the truth: that he is desperate to cling onto the dorm leader seat, because that’s all he has going for him. He has driven away his classmates, who fear him and resent him. There’s his mother, but she has not granted him the affection he craves, and her approval is conditional. He is alone and unloved. This potentially recontexualizes details seen in earlier layers. Why is Riddle in a band? Maybe because he wants to be like Cater, who seems easygoing and approachable. Why does Riddle live many other aspects of his dorm members’ lives? Why do the characters conjured by Riddle’s darkness to fully believe that Cater wants to transfer to Scarabia—a dorm known for having a friendly and relaxed leader? It could suggest an insecurity in Riddle, a worry that he, as he is, is not enough. Not smart enough for his mother’s approval, not kind or cheery or normal enough to make friends. So all he has is his crown, which he reverently claims to. It’s one of the few things he has to call his own, a decision he made for himself and something he earned through his own merit.

But ultimately, I see Riddle’s truest desire as… being his own person, having his own independence and things he chose for himself. Not letting himself be ruled by the shadow of his mother. (His Phantom fittingly seems to dangle him on strings, as if Riddle is its puppet or marionette.) It doesn’t mean complete chaos or anarchy, and it doesn’t mean being like other people. It means defining his own rules for how he should live. Walking forward on his own path. Making his own identity, not tied down to that of his mother. Riddle is so used to being to do what to do or how to be—by his mom, by some arbitrary set of rules. The fact that he confesses to the things he actually wants after his OB… that he wants to stand up to his mother over winter break… that he confronts the dream version of his mom with the declaration that he will open this door with his own hand, that he will walk forward on his own path… I think that says a lot.

…. Weeeeell, like I said at the start, that’s one interpretation 🤷‍♀️ It’s not necessarily “correct”, and it’s liable to change (especially since all of this information is still very fresh; I’m still taking the time to digest it myself). The wibbly wobbly dream magic is open enough to invite all kinds of interpretations, so I encourage you to take this all with a grain of salt and to come to your own conclusions?

I think it’s interesting that it’s Riddle’s dream that has resulted in many different interpretations, especially on the English speaking side? I wonder if that’s because the average EN player skews younger, so those fans can relate a lot with the struggle for identity and finding freedom from one’s parents, even if their circumstances aren’t exactly the same as Riddle’s. We project our own experiences and feelings onto Riddle, which informs our interpretation of his dream.

[firealder2005]

I honestly don’t post about any sports all that often. But this Super Bowl compelled me to write this.

Now, right out the gate I will tell you I am a KC Chiefs fan. I was born one. I am a third-generation fan, going back to my grandpa who picked them at 19 when they were a godawful team and barely televised through my mom’s childhood, because only the good teams were televised then — so if they could watch them, it was to watch them get POUNDED.

I got to watch them win a Super Bowl after a 50 year drought. It was an exhilarating feeling, especially since I was constantly picked on at school by a classmate because of my team (he would go out of his way to harass me whenever his team — Ravens, btw — beat the Chiefs. And he was blissfully quiet the whole day after).

I got to see them win another one two years ago, in the affectionately nicknamed Kelce Bowl because of the Kelce brothers playing against each other. That was a fun year.

And another one after that.

Am I all that cut up about them losing this year?

No. I am not. Because I know it’s just a game. The dudebros need to chill out fr.

But I also know that this year…it wasn’t quite just a game, either. There’s other forces at play.

I honestly had no idea that some of the major Chiefs players supported trump until today. Just before I started writing this, in fact. I didn’t know trump wanted them to win either.

There was a bad taste in my mouth when I found that out.

I don’t consider myself to be a fanatic fan. But I am a proud fan. Someone once called me a bandwagon and I got offended.

But. But.

I am not a fan of this. Of the support and cozying up to of fascism, racism, queerphobia, you name it. It boggles my mind too because there are Black players on the Chiefs, there are Black players who CARRY the NFL’s legacy on their backs, and to support the trump administration is to take away their support.

You know what I am a fan of?

The political message of Kendrick Lamar’s halftime show.

I have never listened to any of Kendrick’s discography. I’ve never really been all that into hip hop or rap (my whiteness is showing I know).

Honestly, while I was watching, a lot of what was going on flew over my head. And I also had a hard time hearing the lyrics 🫣 again, not used to this genre of music 😅

But that’s what I thank tumblr for. Tumblr always has a way of bringing the unknown into the spotlight, and expanding my own knowledge on it.

I am very much not knowledgeable on the Black history surrounding Kendrick’s performance. But looking back, with a fresh set of eyes, what I do know and have put in effort to learn starts to be clear.

And I think it was genius. I think Kendrick Lamar’s performance is what saved this Super Bowl for me because I am vastly disappointed in my team right now, and still would have been even if they won.

I do not begrudge the Eagles their win. After all, this was a rematch 😜 Only fair you have your time to shine.

But in all seriousness, I think I prefer a loss to a win simply because I would not be able to enjoy that win knowing what I do now.

Besides. if it comes with the bonus of trump’s night being ruined? having to live with spending TAXPAYER MONEY (my money!!) to go and watch the game only to leave halfway through because Kendrick called him out? good. I can handle the sidelong taunts about the Chiefs and their bad decisions. I am mature enough to see that.

I am mature enough to see that an Eagles win, packed with Kendrick Lamar ripping the right a new one, is a win for us all — Chiefs fans included.

The next four years will be tough. But with such a spectacular performance? The trans flag? The Palestine and Sudan flag? Everything?

I think we have what we need to keep fighting. Kendrick, Chappell Roan, Lady Gaga, all of these artists lending their voices to support those who will be grievously impacted by what comes next is so important, especially at events like the Grammies and the Super Bowl. It shows that people care.

It shows that we can always care.

It’s just a game, yeah. But now it’s so much more.

[ghostgirl-22]

hiii I was thinking about the opposites of popular tropes and how they’d play out,, and instead of only one bed maybe too many beds?? so then I thought about pat and art getting a hotel booked for a tournament where they have separate beds (and maybe even a couch in the room too, just to really show that they don’t NEED to sleep together) but the beds are like bolted to the floor so they can’t be pushed together. they try and fall asleep like that, and maybe pat is successfully able to but some point in the night art wakes up anxious and hard and has no other option but to shake patrick awake and get some TLC!

I love the opposites of popular tropes thing! Lol

I once saw a picture of an airbnb with 3 separate twin beds lined up next to each other some place in Italy and immediately thought of ATP going on vacation there saying “we need a place that will sleep three please” and getting that. No threesome for you. Lol. This is a mess and hardly proofread but I hope it amuses you.

CW: 18+ NSFW

——

So Art and Patrick are with a small group of US boys national tennis champions all playing in an international tournament in Italy. They’re staying in hostel style housing, Art and Patrick are roommates but there’s just way too many beds in their room. There’s like five beds. Two bunk bed set ups and an extra twin all the way across the room. All the furniture is nailed down.

In the past few months at school Art and Patrick have been oddly conjoined. Art is so used to laying down in their dorm room. Patrick needs to be an inch away from Art’s face at all times when they’re talking. One night they were up late talking and Patrick just shoved his bed closer. Since then they still haven’t bothered to push their beds back. It was almost three months ago. But it’s fine they still have their separate space even with the beds together and Art kinda likes it when he’s in the room without Patrick cause he spreads out like he’s in a queen.

Regardless Art thinks this setup for the next two weeks abroad is amazing. The room is huge and they get to have it all to themselves. Each of them with more than enough space compared to their tiny room at Mark Reballato. Plus being the only boy at home he’s never even had a chance to use a bunk bed like his sisters got to. He claims the top bunk and they spend the day out exploring with teammates so they don’t fall asleep and remain jet lagged for the start of the tournament.

They’re beyond exhausted by the time they get home at 8pm. They’ve been up since 2 in the morning their time. Even with so many extra beds they still end up sharing one bunk set up, Art on top and Patrick at the bottom. Art gets out of the shower and Patrick takes his turn Art climbs into bed expecting sleep to take him quickly. But surprisingly he’s still awake when Patrick gets out.

He watches as Patrick gets dressed and then turns off the light. He’s restless after the lights go out. He imagines it’s the awkwardness of being in an entirely different place. A whole new environment. As tired as he is he just can’t fall asleep. He hears Patrick’s soft snores an hour later and sighs. He climbs down from the top bunk. Patrick is breathing shallow, side sleeping with half of his body leaning up against the wall. Art slips in carefully next to him.

“Wha—“ Patrick stirs.

“I can’t sleep man, move over.” Art whispers. Patrick sighs and scoots even closer to the wall so Art can curl up next to him in the twin bed. He falls asleep right away.

He wakes up in the morning with Patrick’s arms around him, his nose buried against Art’s neck, spooning him. He’s hard, Art can feel it. He untangles himself and gets up for the bathroom. Patrick stretches and sighs waking up and they don’t talk about it. The day continues as usual.

The tournament starts that afternoon. They play doubles against a Dutch team, twins. They’re decent and if Art had a worse doubles partner he might feel a little worried, but he and Patrick take them down pretty easily. They spend the evening out with teammates, exploring Rome, the Pantheon and the Trevi fountain. They eat too much carbs for dinner and have gelato for desert. Patrick finishes Art’s.

Art thinks by the end of the night he’ll be exhausted enough to fall asleep right away. He doesn’t use a top bunk this time. He gets into the bottom bunk on the other side of the room. Patrick across from him. Maybe it was being up high that had him awake and anxious. But again after they turn the lights off Art is awake and restless for almost two hours. It doesn’t matter which way he tosses or turns. He sighs and sneaks back into the bed with Patrick.

“I knew you’d miss me,” Patrick smirks, he’s awake this time as Art shoves him over.

“Yeah right, I think I’m just not used to Italy yet.” Art says.

“Yeah, okay.”

Art rolls his eyes and settles into the tight space next to Patrick and falls asleep easily. He dreams about Patrick, they’re playing tennis, singles, hitting the ball back and forth and back and forth in an epic rally. Moaning as they do it. Moans getting louder with every stroke of the racket. Breathing getting heavier. In the morning he’s waking up, his boxers sticky and soaked with cum, blankets tangled up around them, he’s got one leg thrown over Patricks heated thighs. Patrick has an arm over Arts chest and he’s still asleep.

Art hurries out of bed, hoping to clean up before Patrick gets the chance to make fun of him for having a wet dream at this age. But Patrick knows. He pushes the bathroom door open while Arts in the shower so he can piss in the toilet.

“What were you dreaming about last night?” He teases pulling the shower curtain back so he can look at Art. Patrick’s hair is a mess of sleep, his clothes all disheveled and the side of his boxers have a little spot where Art stained him too.

“It was nothing…being in a new place probably…please I’m sorry okay?” Art snaps dragging it closed again.

Patrick chuckles. “So not fair. If you were gonna get your cum all over me we could at least do it the fun way.”

Art shivers thinking about the last time they jerked off together. Younger but still too old to be doing it sitting across from each other on their beds. Art realizing he wasn’t imagining anything, that he was getting off on watching Patrick alone. He panicked and refused to do it again after that. God, he hopes he didn’t say Patrick’s name in his sleep.

He comes back to himself and realizes he doesn’t hear Patrick’s steady stream anymore. “Don’t flush,” Art says quickly because Patrick loved to play that game when they were younger at school so the water would go instantly hot.

“Fine dude, just hurry up. We’re late.”

They make it to the courts on time. Progressing through the tournament. They beat one team after another even as a few of their teammates from the US are eliminated. Every evening their sponsors hold an event where they get to explore Rome. The Spanish steps, the Vatican. And by the end of the week Art has tried sleeping in every different bed in the room including the one Patrick claimed. Much to Patrick’s amusement because he always ends up back in bed with Patrick. And every morning with the limited space of it being a twin and the inability to move any of the beds closer he’s more tangled up with Patrick than he’s ever been before. He’s smelling him and feeling him and practically cuddling him every night and sleeping like a baby.

Embarrassingly he has two more wet dreams during the week one in which he wakes up midway through horrified to realize he’s grinding on Patrick’s thigh. To which Patrick jokingly says “dude we should just start fucking at this point.” Before rolling over with a loud groan and going back to sleep.

Art is humiliated. Not sure what the proximity is doing to him. He doesn’t stay up too late thinking about it because Patrick’s snores lull him back to sleep. And Patrick thankfully doesn’t bring it up in the daytime.

By Friday, they’re probably the only Americans that made it to the finals and they don’t play again till Monday.

The legal drinking age in Italy is 18 which Patrick insists they take advantage of. They go out bar hopping. Showing ids to try any and everything. A couple of teammates from Nevada meet up with them and they all go to a club, flirt with Italian girls who barely speak English and end up near the basically empty Trevi fountain at 2 in the morning. Sharing cigarettes with 3 girls from the club. Outside there’s a small smattering of people. one guy thrums a Spanish guitar. An Italian couple singing along to whatever he’s playing on a bench near by. It sounds beautiful.

Theres another random couple, two guys making out against the wall. Art feels so tipsy he has to do a double take. Patrick smirks when he catches him do it and Art feels himself flushing.

The Nevada doubles team are drunkenly posing for pictures in front of the empty fountain while Patrick is asking for Italian lessons from the girls. He mispronounces words and it makes all three of the girls giggle. He points at Art to try it and when he gets it down the girl Patrick likes tangles her fingers in Arts hair and takes the cigarette from him. “So good and handsome. Maybe we go to bed and teach more things?” She smiles at him and Art nods.

“Yeah let’s go to bed,” Art grins at Patrick who rolls his eyes in response.

“I want to go to bed, come on,” Patrick whines, trying and failing another Italian pronunciation which makes them giggle more.

They’re not allowed to have anyone of the opposite sex in the hostel so they unfortunately have to say goodnight. The girls promise to come by the tournament grounds after work on Monday.

As they get ready for bed they’re both excited from the alcohol and the girls, giddy with nervous energy and arousal. Art doesn’t bother trying. He just gets in the bunk with Patrick. Patrick plays with his hair. “Show me how you say that word.”

Art smiles. “You have to be able to roll your Rs.”

“Know it all,” Patrick kisses him and Art’s eyes widen in shock. “Roll them, I wanna feel it.” Patrick whispers against his lips.

Art is holding his breath, so stunned. So hard. He whispers it.

“Again,” Patrick says. Art begins speaking and Patrick kisses him through it. Tongue slipping into Arts mouth. Before Art knows what he’s doing he’s tangled up, mouths pressed together. Hand down Patrick’s boxers wrapped around his big warm cock while Patrick is using his large calloused hands to jerk him off. Gasping into each other’s mouths while they get each other off. Art moaning his name. Telling himself it’s the girls that have him all worked up like this. Knowing it’s a lie. They come almost simultaneously and it feels like a relief from whatever Art has been feeling all week.

“Mm,” Patrick moans against his throat. “Better right? Now you don’t have to just dream about me.”

Art shivers. “How did you—was I—“

“Every night. Saying it in your sleep. I thought you were awake the first night honestly. Pressing up against me. I had to grab you to keep you still so I didn’t fucking do something I shouldn’t.”

“Fuck,” Art whispers.

“I mean I’m willing if you want to fuck me next,” Patrick grins.

Art has to laugh, incredulous. he’s just so confused. “The dreams were about tennis.”

“I’m sure.”

“No i promise. We were playing tennis but it…” he shivers remembering the way Patrick was moaning through his orgasm so similar to how he sounded in the dreams. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“So what now?”

“You close your pretty eyes and go to bed so we don’t sleep through brunch.”

Art sighs “I should clean up a bit,” and Patrick laughs.

“What?” Art demands.

“Nothing. It’s just kinda hilarious that all it took 5 beds and 6 nights to end up here.”

[saoirsezz]

ᯓ MISSED STOP | 리키

PAIRINGS. frenemy!riki x frenemy!reader

GENRE. fluff, frenemies to lovers (if that even exists)

WARNINGS. none!

SYNOPSIS. sitting on the bus on the way to your stop with no one beside you was your definition of peace, not until someone decided to show up.

'THAT FEELING WHEN' was playing through your earphones, which was your favorite song from your favorite band, enpen. the soft melody removing the noisy hum of the people in the bus. your bag sits on the chair beside you, preventing any stranger to sit beside you.

the bus comes to a small stop, loading & unloading some people. you wait patiently until you were disrupted by an annoying, familiar voice.

“.. are you deaf?”

riki. none other than the person who sits behind you in class, recklessly snoring as he sleeps away the lectures. “uhm, no. and why are you here?”

“clearly you are since you didn't hear me the first two times I called. and obviously I took the bus to go to school. why else?” you scoff and roll your eyes. “can I sit beside you?” you gave him a side eye. pointing to your bag sitting on the chair.

“oh come on! a person deserves that seat, not an inanimate object.”

you annoyingly glare at him before grabbing your backpack and putting it on your lap. he grins happily, sitting beside you.

you go back to listening quietly. gazing out the window of the bus. he takes a few glances at you, you ignore it at first. but it started to irritate you. “do you need something?”

he blinks a few times, surprised. “n-no.. sorry.” he mumbles something after, but you couldn't quite make up what.

“what was that?” he shrugs. and you just sigh and sit back. it's still a pretty long drive before you arrive to school. you started to close your eyes and take a nap.

he notices you start to relax, your body going limp. he giggles. glancing at you a bit. time passes by and your body leans towards his, he moves away, but your head landed on his shoulder. he freezes, cheeks getting a little heated.

he rubs his neck, embarrassed. but it starts to fade. he tucks a strand behind your ear. “cute,”

it's been approximately 15 minutes since you've slept, and you passed by the school already and missed your stop, he doesn't wake you. but instead he lets the bus move, making the moment a little more longer. it's not like you'll be late you both have plenty of time.

you missed the stop, but he knows he'll regret it more if he missed this moment. don't worry, he payed the extra bus fare you had to pay to get back to school. all he said was he fell asleep too and didn't realise.

thankfully, you bought his excuse. and that within the bus ride, your face was like a shining glow that caught his eye— luckily, you didn't hear that he mumbled that he found you pretty.

© work of saoirsezz | sho

SHO'S NOTE. you guys see what i did in the first line? *leans on a BMW*

[etherealrin]

♬⋆.˚ intro: summer

warnings: none // wc: 724

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:00 TRACKLIST: next.

itoshi rin sighs as he clicks the post button, slumping back onto his bed. his obsidian black electric guitar lays neglected in the corner of his room, still hooked up to the amplifier. his headphones are still plugged into his dimly glowing computer, keyboard still connected, and around four unreleased tracks remained rotting in his files.

he had been looking forward to this break all year, finally out of school—where he could stay up late watching horror flicks with no plans for tomorrow. but rin wonders if he’ll be able to enjoy his three months of summer vacation at all, staring at the pitch darkness of midnight outside his open window. the constant buzzing from his phone, screen alight with thousands of confused replies, isn’t helping his worsening mood.

but he convinces himself it’s better this way, better for him to give up this useless little hobby now; he had more pressing matters to focus on. because that’s what sae had meant, what his words echoed before he left for spain, right?

“you should just quit. it won’t get you anywhere,” he’d said as he headed off for law school in spain.

hyprocite: the only word rin can think of to describe it all. wasn't he the one who encouraged me in the first place?

he manages to drift into a dreamless sleep, phone set to do not disturb, tossing and turning while the quiet june night passed on. it was calm and unperturbed, until a loud crash awoke him. the sound, coming from outside of rin’s house, was a screech of metallic cries. it was eerie, unsettling and only served to amplify his restlessness.

now awake, the soft breeze blowing through his room reminds rin that he had left his windows open, and really, he should close them before he catches a cold. so he pulls back the flimsy black blinds, and his heart drops at the scene he’s greeted with.

it’s haunting yet beautiful; you’re crouched over the sidewalk, illuminated by the pale moonlight, you look like a ghost from his past. the way your fingers trace over the broken electric guitar, a tear slipping down your cheek, you remind rin of how he used to be.

rin’s sure that he’s never seen you before, but something stirs inside him; recognition. you two are the same, aren’t you? he hates it, hates how he feels bad for you as you sit there in mourning, though he just swore never to play the guitar again. he wasn’t one to sympathize, but there was just this inescapable pull to you, magnetizing and alluring.

against all better judgement, rin finds himself heading out his door, in the quiet of the early morning, when the sky is still a bleak gray and the birds aren’t yet singing. everything is wrong; rin was sure he swore off music, passion, even his own happiness. he shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be approaching you still huddled over the broken instrument. as he draws closer and closer, rin hears a faint echo of that melancholic melody, one he knows too well.

it’s almost deja vu as he stares at it, the fender damaged beyond repair; hasn’t he seen this sight more than once, that night where it all went wrong?

“broken guitar?” rin asks, stating all the obvious. it's silent, completely still except for him and you.

“yeah,” you sniffle, looking up. your eyes glimmer with tears and it makes rin’s chest ache. he knows how it feels, too. “i just moved here, and the movers dropped it.”

“i…” he trails off, unsure if he really wants to do this. but he’s already out of his house, on the street here with you, so he might as well. “i live right there.” he points to his home, a squarish blue two-story. “i can probably get you a new one tomorrow, if you want to.” rin hurriedly adds the last part.

you look like you’re going to cry again, which startles rin. had he said something wrong?

“that’s really nice of you,” you finally say, standing up. “i’ll hold you to that offer?” your words phrased like a question, unsure. rin takes the moment to study you further: there’s a delicate sadness in your eyes, and it gets his heart thumping erratically. how odd.

“just knock tomorrow morning, or afternoon, i’ll be home.”

itoshi rin’s uneventful summer vacation might turn out to be something more after all.

ılılılılılılı TRACKLIST. ALL ALBUMS.

open taglist! comment for add. @levihanmyotp @megumismyhusband @shumeow-h

[mydreamyspace]

Logan X Fem! Reader - I'm Gonna Take Care Of You

Characters : Logan, Reader

Summary : There's a fight and you get hurt, Logan comforts you.

Tags/Warnings : a little bit of violence ? Hurt/comfort

Word count : 811

Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"This time i get to choose, please"

"Alright doll, what do you want to watch tonight ?"

You browse through the dvd's on the shelf next to the tv. Logan, sipping on his beer on the sofa.

"How about this one ?" You show him the movie you picked

"Anything you want, just get the dvd ready so you can come back in my arms"

You smile and do as he says. You sit next to him and he wraps his arms around you. Your head on his chest, you can feel his fingers playing with your hair.

Logan lowers the volume of the tv. At this time of the night, everybody in the school is asleep. Except for a few teachers.

As the movie plays, you're both eating snacks, Logan still taking sips of his beer.

His finger gently tracing up and down your arm, giving you goosebumps. It's a quiet and relaxing night, just how you love it.

A sound suddenly makes you two jump out of the sofa. Logan, focusing in the sound, realise that it's actually footsteps. A lot of footsteps. Someone broke into the school.

He puts his arm out in front of you, ordering you to stay back, but you follow him quietly. You tiptoe around the room, looking for the intruders but you don't see anybody.

The footsteps are getting closer, so close you can hear them.

"Logan what's going on ?" Storm and Scott just entered the room

"Someone's here" he uses his senses to try and find their exact location.

"This room, they're coming from this room" he whispered.

Logan, Storm and Scott are all in front of you. You try to stay as close to them as possible.

"Hands on your head" Someone from behind you shouted.

"i won't say it again" he points his gun at you, four other armed men come in the room and point guns at Logan, Storm and Scott.

"You don't want to do this" Storm tried to get closer to you, so does Logan.

You can feel Logan's hand on your arm, trying to pull you closer to him. You feel as the whole thing is happening in slow motion. Like you can't think at all. Your breath is heavy.

As the fight finally breaks, the room is filled with chaos. Blood spilled on the walls as Logan uses his claws against them. A gunshot is heard, making everyone in the room stop fighting.

One of the men moved behind you and shot you.

"NO" Logan shouted, he takes you in his arms before you fall on the floor. Storm and Scott still fighting the other men. Your eyes are closed but you're still conscious, still hearing what's happening.

Storm grabs your arm, asking Logan to let you go as she promises to take you to the infirmary. She takes you into her arms and you can hear Logan's rage. You know how he is when he is like this, and you know he will fight like an animal. Killing every last one of them in the most violent way possible.

As the sounds of the fight are getting further and your body weaker you can feel yourself go. Your last thought being Logan's arms around you on the sofa.

*************

The sounds of the machine, a bright light on the ceiling. It's all you hear and see as you slowly wake up, your body still weak. you try to get up but you feel a hand on your shoulder, stopping you.

"Hey, you're awake" Jean is checking your heartrate and your wound, making sure you're okay.

"Don't get up yet, your body is still recovering. Good news is the bullet just grazed you so there's not too much damage you're gonna be okay"

"Where's.."

"Logan ?, just outside, Storm is talking to him"

You hear the door of the infirmary open. Logan taking your hand.

"She's gonna be okay, i just need you to make sure she rests"

"Sure, thank you" Logan smiles at you, relieved that you're okay. You still see some blood on his arm.

He takes you in his arm goes up in your bedroom. He gently puts you in the bed, putting the blanket over you. He sits on a chair next to you and takes your hand in his.

The warmth of his smile makes you feel so comforted and loved.

He places a gentle kiss on your forhead

"I'm gonna take care of you, i promise, i'm so sorry"

"It's not your fault Logan"

"I'm gonna make sure you're okay and stick with you forever, i'm gonna be with you so much you're gonna get sick of me"

You laugh even though you wound is hurting

"get sick of you ? not a chance"

He plays with your hair as you slowly fall asleep in the bed, feeling his reassuring presence next to you.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

[transformationsproject]

Today’s Legislative Updates February 10, 2025

Trans rights are still under attack in the United States. Please visit our website linked below to learn about your state and contact your reps. Here's a thread of today's updates:

Bathroom bills deny access to public restrooms by gender or trans identity. 

They increase danger without making anyone any safer and have even prompted attacks on cis and trans people alike. Many national health and anti-sexual assault organizations oppose these bills.

New Bills:

The U.S. House introduced bill US HB1016 last Friday and sent it to the House Oversight And Government Reform Committee. This is a federal-level bathroom ban for federal properties.

The U.S. House introduced bill US HB1017 last Friday and sent it to the House Oversight And Government Reform Committee. This is a federal-level bathroom ban for entities who receive federal funds.

Old Bills:

Tennessee sent bill SB0472 to the Senate Education Committee today. 

Utah passed bill HB0269 through its third Senate reading last Friday. It is now in the House for concurrence before going to the governor.

Wyoming passed bill HB0072 through the House last Friday and sent it to the Senate.

North Dakota passed bill HB1144 through its second House reading last Friday.

Healthcare bills go against professional and scientific consensus that gender-affirming care saves lives. Denying access will cause harm.

Providers are faced with criminal charges, parents are threatened with child abuse charges, and intersex children are typically exempted.

New Bills:

Illinois filed under-18 healthcare ban HB3819 last Friday.

Illinois introduced under-18 healthcare ban SB2474 last Friday.

Old Bills:

Montana passed bill SB218 through its committee last Friday and sent it to the Senate floor.

Texas sent bill SB753 to the Senate State Affairs Committee last Friday.

Educational Censorship and Student Suppression bills force schools to misgender or deadname students, ban instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity, and make schools alert parents if they suspect a child is trans.

They remove life-saving affirmation and support for trans youth. 

New Bills:

Maryland introduced educational censorship and student deadnaming bill HB1385 last Friday and sent it to the House Ways and Means committee.

Iowa introduced the anti-DEI bill HF269 last Thursday.

Tennessee crossfiled student misgendering bills HB1262 and SB1252 last Thursday.

Tennessee filed a student misgendering bill SB1126 last Thursday.

Old Bills:

Texas sent bill SB810 to the Senate State Affairs Committee last Friday.

Wyoming passed bill HB0200 through the House last Friday and sent it to the Senate.

Wyoming passed bill SF0103 through its second Senate reading last Friday.

Trans Erasure bills create legal definitions of terms like “sex” designed to exclude or erase trans identity and insert them into various laws. This can have many different effects, depending on what laws are affected.

They can force a male or female designation based on sex assigned at birth.

Some target anti-discrimination statutes, legally empowering trans discrimination. 

New Bills:

Texas filed a trans erasure bill SB1188 last Friday.

Illinois introduced trans erasure and ID bill SB2078 last Thursday. This bill deletes gender identity from state human rights legislation and calls for all prior gender marker changes on Illinois IDs to be reversed.

Tennessee filed a trans erasure bill HB1271 last Thursday.

Old Bills:

Tennessee sent bill SB0468 to the Senate Judiciary Committee today.

New Hampshire bills SB268 and SB38 have hearings on 2/13 at 2:30pm in Room 100, State House in the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Most sports bills force schools to designate teams by sex assigned at birth. 

They are often one-sided and ban trans girls from playing on teams consistent with their gender identity.

Some egregious bills even force invasive genital examinations on student athletes.

Old Bills:

Maryland failed to pass bill HB156 in committee today.

In other bills that either fit multiple categories or stand on their own, we have:

Old Bills:

South Dakota bill HB1211 had a hearing today. The vote was deferred for the time being. [Other]

It's not too late to stop these and other hateful anti-trans bills from passing into law. YOU can go to http://transformationsproject.org/ to learn more and contact your representatives!

[obvithe-bestsoph]

No. 43 | "Charming, you know how to make a girl blush." HF32

masterlist requests

prompt list (if you request a prompt, please request a player for it as well!) genre: best friend's cousin to lovers lmao word count: 2.7k (ish) warnings: swearing, mentions of pregnancy at the end.

When you were 16, your best friend, Amira, moved from your guy’s hometown of La Almozara, Zaragoza, as she was going to go and live with her aunt and uncle in Barcelona to do her Bachillerato because she preferred the options and schools there over the options in Zaragoza. 

But now, 18, and a free woman, you’ve got a fresh driver’s license and a best friend to see. 

You have also decided to move to the infamous Barcelona, studying at Universitat de Barcelona while having an internship at a nearby physiotherapist clinic. However, it’s still a few days until your new apartment will be ready, and you’re going to stay with Amira in the meantime while you wait.

You make the three-hour road trip from La Almozara to Barcelona and now, here you are, standing outside the door of the address Amira had given you. You ring the doorbell and hear footsteps and some cluttering, until the door finally opens, revealing your best friend. “Y/N!” she squeals, throwing her arms around you. “Hola, Ami!” you grin, hugging her back. 

After a short reunion on the front doorstep, she brings you inside. The house is big, and expensive looking. You glance around the entryway for a moment, pulling your suitcase behind you. “I can see why you moved here.” you laugh. “Definitely, it’s so nice, right?” Amira laughs back and leads you into the kitchen. Standing behind the large white marble countertop, making breakfast, is Amira’s aunt, María. Sitting across from her on the island, eating an apple is her uncle, Carlos. 

Amira introduced all of you to each other, and just as you were leaving to go upstairs to her room, the front door opened and closed once more, and in walks her cousin, Héctor.

Now a rather famous footballer, playing professionally for F.C. Barcelona, he’s still dressed in his training kit, having come straight from the stadium. He flashes that perfect smile of his at you, and speaks up in his smooth, accented voice. “Hola.” “Hola, how-” you reply, about to ask how he is when you’re cut off by Amira. “Héctor, wipe that stupid smile off your face and stop trying to flirt with my best friend.” he laughs and she rolls her eyes, taking your hand and continuing to lead you up the stairs. You and Héctor hold eye contact as you watch him over your shoulder as you’re dragged away, before looking away and shaking your head, as if trying to shake away the thought of him.

Once upstairs in her room, Amira shuts the door behind you and flops down on her bed. “Sorry about him, he’s actually such a flirt.”

Laughing, you sit down on the bed beside her, “It’s alright.” Amira tugs on your arm again so that you’re laying down next to her. “So what’s all the tea that I’ve missed?” “Tea? No, not really anything.” “Still no boyfriend?” she teases.

“Me? No way. You know I don’t do boyfriends.”

“Fine. Any new hookups then? Talking stages, even?”

“How many times do I need to tell you, Ami? I don’t need any boys.”

Amira rolls her eyes and laughs, shoving you playfully, “You’re so boring.” “Oh, am I now? How about you then señorita? Any new boys for you, hm?”

She glares at you for a moment before laughing slightly. “Okay fine, fair point, no new boys either. Well, not really…”

“Hold on, what do you mean, ‘not really?’” You ask with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not talking to anyone, but I’ve discovered that I have the biggest crush on one of Héctor’s teammates.” You laugh, “Which one, they’re all, like, stupid hot.” “Lamine.” “Fair.” 

“I mean, have you seen those biceps?” she grins. “Not specifically, we can’t all be as pervy as you.” that remark earns you being hit with a pillow. “Cállate (shut up), he’s just really fine, vale (okay)?” “Okay, okay. So have you ever actually talked to him, or are you pulling the usual Amira move of just admiring from afar for years?”

“We follow each other on Instagram.” “Well that’s a start.”

“Mm.” she hums flatly. “What?” you ask, confused by her lack of enthusiasm.

“You like Héctor,” she states simply. 

You panic, thankfully she can’t see your face from the way you’re both lying face up. “Pffft, no. I already said, I don’t need a bo-” “Oh would you stop with that, it’s painfully obvious you like him.” Amira cuts you off. “Why don’t you just admit it?” she rolls over so she’s facing you. “I know he’s my cousin, but I don’t have a problem with it or anything.”

“You don’t?” “Why would I? His life, your life, not really my business… unless it’s me somehow helping you two get together.”

You sigh in defeat, “Fine. Maybe I like him a little bit.” Amira grins, “Liar.” “Okay, fine. Maybe I like him a lot then.” her grin turns smug. “Knew it.” “Shush.” “So what are you going to do about it?” “Nothing, you know the kind of guy he is. He’s a flirt, not a boyfriend.” “True, but that’s not to say the right girl couldn’t change his mindset.”

You laugh, “Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Whatever. But you should know that it’s now my own personal mission to get you two together.” she grins, poking your side.

Squirming away and laughing, you reply sarcastically, “Sure. Good luck with that.”

The conversation moves on and you guys chat the day away, until eventually heading to bed. 

The next morning, you wake up at 7 AM, Amira still snoring away peacefully next to you, you’ve always been an early riser and she’s always been able to sleep for hours, so long that occasionally you question whether or not she’s actually alive behind her eyelids.

Knowing very well she isn’t going to be awake for a while, you get up and head down to the kitchen for a glass of water. When you enter the kitchen, Héctor’s already sitting at the kitchen island, eating some eggs and a bowl of cereal while scrolling on his phone. You freeze and then turn around back towards the direction you came in, contemplating going back upstairs again, hiding there until he leaves for training, however, that thought process is interrupted by that smooth voice again.

“Buenos días, guapa.” you can practically hear the amused smirk in his voice. Begrudgingly, you surrender to your fate and turn back to face him, smiling. “Buenas días, Héctor.” 

“Sleep well? Amira’s always been a bit of a snorer.” 

“It was fine, gracias,” you say tightly, heading back into the kitchen to get the glass of water you originally came for. 

“I could make you a coffee if you want.” he offers. “No thanks, I don’t drink coffee.” “Why not?” You shrug, continuing with your water. “Makes me feel weird, I dunno. Just don’t like it.��� “Huh, okay then, I guess,” he replies casually, but on his phone, he swipes out of TikTok and into his notes app. He goes into the note titled, ‘Things I know about Y/N.’

So far, his list consists of: - Her name is Y/N Y/L/N.

- She and Amira have been best friends since they were 8.

- She’s supposed to wear glasses but never does because she doesn’t like how they look.

- She supports Barça.

- She looks very pretty in brown and white.

- She’s studying sports physiotherapy at university, specialising in knees.

- She used to play football, and was good, but then got injured and had to stop playing.

- Won the 2022 U-17 Women’s World Cup with Spain.

And the most recent addition, 

- She doesn’t drink coffee because it ‘makes her feel weird.’

Héctor finishes typing and puts his phone down, watching as you drink from your glass, admiring the way you look in the mornings. You put your now empty cup in the dishwasher, before turning to leave the kitchen, but you turn back around when Héctor calls your name,

“Y/N?” “What?” “Um, I’m, er- I’m going into town later if you need a ride. We could go and see your new apartment?” he offers, looking almost… nervous, shy even.

“No, I’ve got my car. That’s all good.” you decline politely, a slightly confused look on your face as you give him another smile before continuing your way up the stairs. 

Weird. Why was he nervous about talking with you? After thinking about it for far too long, you decide that you were just imagining it.

Once back upstairs again, you slip into bed once more, Amira still dead to the world. You open your phone to scroll on TikTok for a while, and as if it could hear your thoughts, for some reason, your For You page has decided to start feeding you Héctor Fort edits. Great.

For the most part, you just scoff and scroll past them, aside from one random one (i’m imagining this one), that you decide to watch for no particular reason, and dios mío (my god). It’s almost embarrassing how many times you watched it. No.

‘I don’t do boyfriends, and even if I did, he doesn’t do girlfriends.’ you remind yourself firmly, closing the app and putting your phone down, needing a second to think after that.

Meanwhile, in his own room down the hall, Héctor’s on his phone, texting his best friend Marc Guiu. 

Héctor: Hermano, she’s actually so fine, I can’t.

Marc: Who? That friend of your cousin's?

Héctor: Yeah, Y/N.

Marc: And you haven’t asked her out yet, becauseee..?

Héctor: Because there’s no way she says yes.

Marc: Okay, fine, but what’s the harm in asking? You can’t predict her answer.

Héctor: Maybe… I’ll think about it. I just don’t wanna get rejected, yk?

Marc:Well, obviously. No one wants to get rejected. But getting rejected is better than saying nothing and wondering what could’ve been, or seeing her with another guy.

Héctor: Since when’d you get so wise? Calm down.

Marc: What can I say? Apparently London’s changed me. 

Héctor: Whatever 🙄 Anyway, I’m gonna go help my mamá. I’ll talk later, sí?

Marc: Vale, hermano. Have a good day. Text later. 👋🫂

Héctor: Adiós, hermano. 👋🫂

Héctor sighs and puts his phone down, staring at the wall for a moment before sitting up and heading down to the kitchen to help his mamá like he said, as she’s making her usual weekly batch of baking. 

Being an only child, and his father working during the day, growing up, Héctor spent the most amount of time with his mother, and he’s a total mamá’s boy. So as they make some cookie dough together, he asks her for advice. 

“Mamá, I think I like a girl. Different than how I usually like girls.” María raises an eyebrow, “Sí?”

Héctor nods, “Sí, she is very pretty and I like her personality. But I’m scared to ask her out. What would you do?” “Buy her flowers,” she says simply.

“Yeah, but I can’t just… *buy* her flowers,” he replies, frowning as if that was just obvious.

“Why not?” “Well, because, um…” Héctor then realises there isn’t really any good reason. “What kind of flowers do girls like then?” he sighs.

His mother just smiles, picking up the tray and sliding it into the oven. “Red roses. A handwritten letter with them wouldn’t do any harm either.”

He gives her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading back up to his room. “Gracias, mamá.”

“Any time, mi hijo.” she smiles, hugging her much taller son back, patting him on the back and letting him go.

That night when you and Amira get back from your day at the beach, sitting on the pillow of the side of the bed you’ve been sleeping on the past few nights is a bouquet of long-stem red roses, an envelope sitting on top of them. You freeze when you see them before walking over to the bed and picking up the envelope. 

Amira is already going crazy, her face right next to yours as she leans over your shoulder trying to read the letter. But you laugh and hold it close to your chest, not allowing her to see.

“Let me read it first, and then depending on the contents, I’ll let you.”

Slightly annoyed, Amira agrees.

You carefully open the envelope and slide out the piece of paper from inside. 

Dear Y/N,

I’ve never really done this before, so I asked my mamá, and she said girls like flowers and handwritten letters, so I hope you like them too. I was going to get white roses, but then I saw the red, and they reminded me of your fiery soul, so I got them instead. 

As I say, I’ve never really done this before, the whole ‘romantic love confession’ thing, so sorry in advance if I do it wrong. 

I don’t know if you remember this, but we first met when we were 11, at Amira’s birthday party. Amira and all the other girls were playing with the new toys and things she had gotten, but you came and kicked around a football with me for basically an hour because I was the only boy there and had nothing to do. Amira got so mad with you. But I never really forgot that, it’s a shame you can’t play anymore, you were really good. Long story short, your little action back then has stuck in my brain, and ever since then, the memory floats back through my mind sometimes, and it always makes me smile. 

Especially these past few days, with you being here all the time, I’ve realised just how much I do feel for you. I know that on the outside, I’m flashy and flirty, but really I’m a little shy to tell you all this in person, and I figured a letter was better than a text. 

A date, for me, is kinda the end goal here, but I’d really even just take a follow back on Instagram. 

This feels like really fucking primary school, but:

WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME?

YES   🔲        NO   🔲

Please say yes,  - Héctor.

You put the letter down, shocked. You hadn’t been expecting that. Amira was already reading one your shoulder, despite your original protests.

“You know, I think he’s being serious. He’s not one for heartfelt shit like this, you clearly mean a lot to him. It’s not often he actually says ‘please’.” Amira speaks up once she finished reading.

“Yeah, actually. I think I will.” You say firmly, nodding. 

“You’d be a little stupid not to, honestly.”

You pick up a pen from Amira’s desk, ticking the ‘Yes’ box, and writing on the back. 

It’s funny you think I’d ever say no to that. DM me and we can plan our date? And yes, I do love the flowers, it's charming. You know how to make a girl blush.

Taking the letter with you, you slide the letter back under his door, knocking and then quickly ducking back into Amira’s room before he can catch you.

Héctor hears the knock on his door and immediately jumps up from where he has been on the bed, anxiously waiting until he got some sort of reply since he heard me and his cousin get home from the beach.

He sees the tick and reads the note, a smile growing on his face.

And now, here you are, 2 years later, sleeping peacefully in Héctor’s arms, his hand resting protectively over your small 3-month baby bump, calming the kicking baby girl inside so her mamá can continue sleeping. He admires your face as you turn your head to bury it further into his chest, taking comfort in his familiar smell and touch. 

A lot has happened since the day he left those roses for you on the pillow, but he only loves you more. 

He’s also glad he listened to Marc, and to this day, it’s the only thing Marc is allowed to say “I told you so.” about.

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

guys i need to be dancing at a house party tipsy with someone im attracted to so bad btw. ive never been to a house party in real life (though id quite like to at least once) but i really have been desperately needing that specific (probably awful for me) sensory and social environment so bad lately

[patheticpuppyboyslut]

(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.

[daisyachain]

For a show with so much well let’s say fan base, Daiya surprisingly avoids the clumsy accidentally shounen relationship focus, instead using subtler, slower, deliberate development of Sawamura’s relationships with Chris and Miyuki. The show about having a good time playing ball is in fact just about having a good time playing ball. That’s what makes it even odder that it’s Ugumori that fits into ye goode olde unintentional subtext

[girlivealwaysbean]

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vent