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hellothereiplaygames · 1 year ago

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Some thoughts on Asra's route...

Replaying Asra's route after having played Muriel's really hits different...

In one of the other routes Asra and Muriel appear to start a romantic relationship, and in Asra's route it's very clear that Muriel cares very deeply for Asra and dislikes the Apprentice. He mentions in one of the paid? dream scenes that he's worried about Asra and the Apprentice fading into their own world and leaving everyone else behind (again, apparently), and that he's determined to stop this from happening. His concern for Asra and initial hostility toward the Apprentice may be rooted in jealousy, not only because his oldest (and only) friend was more or less taken from him, but perhaps with romantic connotations as well.

In Book XI: Justice, Asra and Julian stage a mock trial by combat against Muriel. Though he apparently agreed to participate and is implied to have returned to the Coliseum of his own volition, presumably out of concern for Asra, who has been accused of being Julian's accomplice... he is still more or less backed into a corner and forced to play along with Asra and Julian's plan to stage a fight.

Now, to be fair to Asra, he states after everything goes wrong that it wasn't supposed to end this way, and it appeared that he was attempting to not only exonerate himself and Julian from their charges but somehow help Muriel overcome his past (he does disintegrate Muriel's chains during the fight no matter what choices you make). There was a point during this that I thought I could guess what Asra's plan was regarding Muriel's past, but being refreshed on how it actually pans out, I can't remember it now. Something about making the people of Vesuvia realize how barbaric the Coliseum was under Lucio.

The thing that stands out to me throughout this whole ordeal is that Asra knows about Muriel's trauma. He knows he was enslaved to Lucio and forced to fight and execute people in the Coliseum. He knows that Muriel is terrified of hurting other people, especially those he cares about. In Asra's route, the only person Muriel cares about is Asra, so hurting him is triggering for him. He literally is in a stupor after the board he was using as a weapon splinters off and hits Asra in the mouth, making him bleed. This is clearly meant to make the reader worried about Asra, but Muriel reacts as well, and appears hypnotized by the blood. I remember the first time I read this I thought he was going to have some crazy berserker-Hulk sort of reaction, but having read his route, it's way more tragic.

Though Muriel did seem to return to the Coliseum of his own volition, it does seem that Asra took this as a sign that he was coming to terms with his trauma. He was willing to exploit Muriel's care for him in order to save his own skin so he can be with the Apprentice. Though I recognize Asra's other toxic traits to some degree, I also have similar ones myself so they don't really stand out to me. This, however, where he more or less disregards Muriel's feelings on the matter, is actually really crushing. In Muriel's route, his whole thing is that he DOES NOT want to fight, he DOES NOT want to even spar with the Apprentice with blunt sticks out of fear of hurting them, so why would he willingly go along with this unless he was more or less in the same position Lucio put him in? Fight in the arena, or something bad will happen to Asra.

Asra knows this, and puts him through it regardless. During the whole fight, Julian's actions are written so as to make it seem like he's the one messing things up--he takes the "finishing blow" that Muriel was going to deal to Asra and gets knocked unconscious. Asra spends most of the entire time doing flashy, dramatic magic tricks that get the crowd cheering for him. After he "wins", he and the Apprentice are carried out of the Coliseum like heroes. Though Asra will try to soothe Muriel if the Apprentice so chooses right before the end, and he does look for Muriel in the crowd, he seems otherwise unbothered or unaware of the impact this may be having on his oldest friend. Which is pretty shitty.

Of course, Asra, Julian, and Muriel are all playing characters during their fight--Asra is the flashy magician, Julian is the rogueish BDSM dagger guy, and Muriel is the Scourge. Asra obviously can't show his concern even if he wanted to because he's supposed to be fighting Muriel. But putting his bro into this situation in the first place says a lot about his character. Though Julian is the one whose route is based around self-loathing because he believes he hurts everyone around him, Asra is the only one who gets what he wants out of this ordeal, and he even says so right before the chapter ends. Muriel was forced to relive his trauma and didn't get the resolution that was intended, and Julian gets KOed by a punch that literally sent him flying across the arena (though he probably enjoyed it tbh, he's a nasty little man like that lmao).

I wonder if this dynamic between Asra and Muriel was intentionally written this way in order to further amplify his tunnel vision when it comes to the Apprentice. Is this is how he acted in the past, causing Muriel to hate the Apprentice as he does and remark that he won't allow it to happen again? Maybe (probably) I'm reading too much into it, but as a survivor of abuse and trauma it rubs me the wrong way much more than Asra's obsessive, clingy nature. Of all of the reversed ends, Asra's is the one that actually scared me and kind of haunted me, because it hits a little too close to home.

These are all just thoughts that I wanted to spill out because I thought it was interesting and I wasn't sure if anyone else has talked about it before.

#the arcana #asra alnazar #muriel the mountain man #muriel of the kokhuri #asra the arcana #asra the magician #muriel the arcana #my thoughts #i mean maybe they do talk about this later in the route and i just forgot but???#considering lucio's route and the way that was handled i don't expect it #i adore asra #he literally checks all my boxes for my favorite tropes #but like... this actually is kind of insane and i hope muriel was the one to be like “i can play scourge... i guess” but i doubt it #it also makes me wonder if asra projected onto julian and that's why ilya thinks everything is his fault #because i can't see mazelinka and the grandmas raising julian to think he's not worthy of love #asra however might have given him that impression during their time together?? which is just a big no from me ok #just some thoughts though lmao #this game has returned as my major hyperfixation so i apologize for the novel and all these tags

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smallmartiniolive · 6 months ago

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Thinking abt how Jurassic Park is like obviously abt chaos and the evils of mindless capitalism that destroys what it touches for a profit but also it’s abt the people you know? This is coming from the movie standpoint bc the book didn’t really check off the right boxes for me but the movies are just so inherently abt people and connection! To me

I’m gonna just give my thoughts abt mainly dinot3 bc they are something. So special. To me.

Imagine you’re Alan Grant, in love w dinosaurs and being in the field, ur at the top of your game and it doesn’t even matter as long as you get to study what you love. Then, unexpectedly! You get to share this passion and love w another person and part of you doesn’t understand why it works but that’s ok as long you get to dig up dinosaurs and be with her, Dr. Sattler (understandable

Imagine being Dr. Sattler and always chasing after something and wanting more. You find the love of your life and he doesn’t hold you back at all, he’s perfect! You both thrive in your own lanes! You get on a helicopter to who knows where and you meet this exciting new guy, you don’t love him, not like Grant but he’s exciting and new and you feel like he sees you for something you’re not even sure you see yourself

Imagine you’re Ian Malcolm and you’re made aware of people trying to remake dinosaurs and you know it’s impossible but you also know that life finds a way so you go along. You flirt w some paleontologists, have fun, berate the senselessness of the actions around you. I mean what else is there to do. Then, you get a life altering injury that’s gonna bug you forever and the last person you see is a person you hoped you got to save, who is risking his life to save children (I.e. Grant) and then suddenly you’re waking up to the face that saves you (I.e. Sattler).

And through that all, nobody comes out ok! There’s nightmares and injuries and assumedly they’re quarantined in a Costan Rican hospital till everything’s sorted and people are good to go. Alan and Ellie always find each other, planets in orbit etc, and of course Lex and Tim are connected to Alan after everything. The kids cling to them and they protect them, but also they at least have each other and are stronger for it, but it also makes them aware of how awful it would be to be alone right now- Ian Malcolm. So they all spend time together drifting in and out of hospital rooms (most commonly Ian’s bc he can’t move around much) and after all that they’re connected by shared experiences and the knowledge they can’t share. Pandora’s box and all that but they all end up woven together.

They separate but I’m sure it’s apparent that Malcolm ends up alone, not wanting to rely on anyone, especially not his ex-wives and kids cause that would be unfair and even in pain he’s still trying to protect other people. So they end up together again, how could they not? Malcolm needs help, they all do but that’s a touchy topic and it’s easier to focus on what they can see. Alan and Ellie and Ian finish up at the dig and Alan just wants everything to be the same so he can forget and Ian needs the change, but Ellie? She’s not really sure and it leaves her unsteady.

All at the same time you have Malcolm writing his book bc the truth was always what was most important to him, like Alan to dinosaurs. Alan doesn’t want him to ruin his life, and Ellie wants to support him but doesn’t know how but they coexist.

Ian gets better. He leaves w/ Sara a woman he met shortly after the hospital and whom he seems inexplicably fond of having witty banter with. He leaves so that when he publishes his book it doesn’t come down on them, he leaves because Ian Malcolm has never been one to want to settle down and he’s afraid of becoming complacent, that if he stops moving he’ll lose something critical (he’s shark-like, Ian).

And then the digs over and Alan’s ready to throw himself back into another, but Ellie simply isn’t. She gets a teaching position in another state, and Alan doesn’t ask her to stay but by god he wants to (just like he wanted to w Ian although he never had the chance bc he was gone so much quicker) and it’s the biggest mistake he ever makes.

Ellie leaves. Ian reconnects w his kids, reminded by Alan and Ellie how important family is and that hiding only does them a disservice. Alan digs.

They still stay relatively close, stuck in orbit even though they’re separated, they message and mail and spontaneously stop by when they’re in town (Ian). There’s distance but it’s not uncrossable, they’re still there for each other. They still call and those calls never go unanswered, no matter how late.

Ian goes to Isla Sorna and it’s shoved in his face that he’s changed, whether he wanted to or not. He wants something more stable, of course he still wants independence but he also wants to come home to *something* (he misses what he had w Alan and Ellie but he’s trying to avoid that iceberg). Alan and Ellie find out and it’s the beginning of an end, they fly out immediately and check in w him, and stay a few days. But. But Ian didn’t tell them, didn’t tell them abt something so critical to the three of them.

They grow a lil farther apart.

Alan goes back to work. Ian mutually splits w Sara (word is she and Nick have something weird going on when they aren’t traveling the world for respective careers)

Ellie marries Mark, the guy she met while teaching. He made her laugh and was a lil plain but she liked it (reminded her of Alan). Although Mark is different, he brings up kids on the third date and he’s everything she needs right now, he’s stable and kind and his job travels w him so she never has to worry which would take precedence (her or the job). He loves her for her or what she is right now and there’s something in the back of her mind but she loves him and they build a life together.

Ian meets a woman he can settle down with, an intellectual and a perfect mix of Ellie and Alan (although he doesn’t know it) and he settles down too, finally ready for that build-a-family lifestyle that he’s started to want. They have two kids (canon compliant due to the five kids comment in Dominion) probably around Ellie’s kids age, they probably have play dates. Alan doesn’t come around too much but he mails occasionally or helps set up furniture, but he’s undeniably pulling away.

Alan who couldn’t just ask people to stay, is alone and he’s become increasingly aware because of his new grad student. Billy Brennan is a mirror, he’s everything Alan was (admittedly more flirtatious tho) and Alan can’t do anything but nurture it because he wouldn’t even know how to change (because god knows he wants to). So he pulls away and focuses on work and at least w Billy he’s not alone and maybe maybe he can help him get on a better track (his version of accepting defeat)

Of course he doesn’t stop seeing Ellie or visiting w Ian over mail or the occasional spontaneous visit (couldn’t bring himself to) but he pulls away still. During play dates, Ian sneaks looks at Ellie’s calendar and will conveniently tell Alan when Marks out on business ( bc I refuse to believe Alan didn’t visit Ellie even tho Mark first meets him when Charlie is 2 so I believe he snuck on in cus it makes sense you know). Alan loves Ellie’s kids more than himself and probably bought Charlie his dinosaur toys (Ellie groans abt his taste but she knew it would happen and loves him anyway).

And then Alan, who has never really been alone but has isolated himself to that point, gets a chance to see dinosaurs again (he says it’s for the money but dinosaurs are what’s always made sense to him). He gets lost. He’s got no way out. He calls Ellie bc she’s always been his beacon of light, saving grace, Hail Mary etc etc. (Also him bringing Ian up to Eric bc that man has never been normal about *either* of them).

Ellie meets him at the hospital (maybe w Ian who knows) and Alan is made increasingly aware (between yelling and crying and thank gods) that he’s not alone he’ll never be alone as long as they’re around.

And after that they’re sort of ok. They have regular visits and there’s distance but they settle, they try. They bitch abt Jurassic World together and how all the kids they’ve collected are doing. One of Ian’s eldest going into paleontology bc she met Alan Grant at the age of 15 and it altered how she thought academically and Ian is exhausted. Ian and Ellie’s partners don’t really understand it but they also know not to interfere (even if sometimes frantic calls wake them up in the middle of the night).

Alan stays in his ways (hoping for a change but not seeking one).

Ian and his wife have a tiff bc she accused him of loving her bc he loves Alan and Ellie at least at first (still does in a different and perhaps more powerful way than her?) and he can’t lie bc it’s all the truth with him. He says it’s not fair to her to not know that Alan and Ellie are just his people, you get it. She doesn’t, not really, it only ever made sense to the three of them. They divorce but it’s amicable.

Ellie and Mark have been on the rocks for a little, they’re relationship has always been a bit boring but that was never a real problem. However, she wants to go out and do more field work (writing books was great but she’s ready for a change bc the world turns quick but she’s always moved faster). He wants to have an at home life and one thing spirals to another. She chose him bc he’d never need to choose between anything and she wouldn’t either, they could both have everything and he’s a great guy, but. But now she needs a change and once again she’s left in a situation where someone can’t bend for her, so she breaks it. They divorce and it’s heartbreaking, they love each other, but Ellie has always needed some flexibility (she calls Alan and Ian later on and they drop plans to have dinner together, she doesn’t bring up the break up but she does note how they changed things for *her*, it’s nice maybe they changed)

Maybe they’ve all changed a lil you know? Ian travels, lectures, makes connections, and visits w the people he loves. Ellie writes paper after amazing paper after amazing book between field work. Alan digs. They communicate in academic papers and books that they send each other, their love notes are annotations that feel a lil too raw so they’re kept private. Every new paper and book and interview fuels the three of them forward and keeps them in orbit. Despite everything.

Then, Ian is hired by Biosyn (Ellie encourages it a bit bc she doesn’t trust them, Alan discourages it for the same reason). And then they’re back, they are SO back. They come together to fight against what they’ve always had to fight against, it’s a lil exhausting but they have each other. Through it all it’s always them. Every single time. Alan and Ellie meet and see each other like they don’t see anyone else. It’s a little unfair to Ian because they’re prepared and his entire world gets flipped for a second when he sees them (it’s ok he recovers pretty quick). They fall in step, into old conversations and patterns.

And between taking down Biosyn and avoiding dinosaurs they all kind of fall in love, not again bc it’s always been that way for them but it’s just so so apparent. They can’t give each other up and everytime they look at each other there’s comfort and understanding without words. It was easier to deny a part but now they are here and it’s just so. Perfect

Ellie tells Alan she needs to go, she’s always been too fast for this world, Alan tells her he’ll stay which is the best love declaration she could have asked for.

Ian says he needs to tell the truth, he’s always had to, and they say “we’ll be with the you, we will tell the truth with you.” You know and that’s their love declaration, Thats them asking him to stay, to be with them.

And at the end of it all, Alan says in the end he’d just rather not be lonely again, and Ian and Ellie look at him like he’s absurd bc of course he’s stuck w them now. It’s always been them even if they didn’t realize it

OH MY GOD LOOOOONG POST IM SORRY IM NOT NORMAL AT ALL HAHA. Dinot3 is something I’m not normal about because look at their stories!! Look at how through everything they fit together!! They are in Montana somewhere rn having a beer and laughing abt something silly one of them did and talking abt their collective kiddos.

TLDR; just my thoughts on DINOT3 and just their canon timeline and how it’s always been those three.

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