#can he even stand to look at you knowing you love someone else ???

[wtfaniii]

I can do it alone, but he can also save me

Fem reader x Hwang In-ho / Fem reader x Hwang Jun-ho

Part 1 // Part 2

•Summary: Jun-ho's girlfriend was a decorated policegirl, strong and brave, she, along with Gi-hun were taken to the games to stop them, however, there was a setback in between

•Note: Thanks for the support! Here I bring you the second part of this one shot that is personally one of my favorites.

•Warning: Maybe some drama, Some violence and attempted abuse, ¡Don't worry! this man arrives on time like a prince on a white horse

N/A: I haven't checked this yet, sorry if it has spelling mistakes

Gi-hun had told some participants that the next game would be dalgona, but it was not so and now they were upset with him, surrounding him and complaining about his mistake, calling him a "liar."

—You guys decided to play these games —the girl said standing in front of Gi-hun —Face the consequences and don't expect someone to come and save us.

—He's a fraud! —Player 100 shouted at him, pointing at accusingly and with contempt.

—ibelieve in him word —001 interrupted, standing next to her.

Due to the first impression that the two made on all the players, the complaints immediately stopped and retreated.

—It's nothing, I really believe you —Young-il said with a friendly expression

—And if you allow me... I would like to be on your team.

The next game would be in teams of five players, counting the girl, Gi-hun, Jung-bae, Dae-ho and now Young-il, they were full, however, when they were talking to get to know each other a little, a woman with the number 222 on his uniform approached them cautiously.

—¿Can I be on your team? Please —Jung-bae was going to interrupt her to tell that they were full but the young woman finished his sentence first —I'm pregnant.

The five pairs of eyes fell on the small bulge of her belly and noticed that it was true. Immediately, the woman spoke. —I'll look for another team.

—¿Are you sure you'll do it?— In-ho asked, looking at her carefully. A person who looked out for someone else's well-being in these games was rare to see, but considering the situation, it was quite understandable. He wouldn't give up his place if he wasn't so interested in his enemy.

She nodded confidently and left to find another team, it didn't take long, after all, most people took advantage of having someone like her on their team just by considering the word "police" in their introduction.

Once the teams were formed and they were told what had to do, they sat on the floor to wait the turn.

As time passed and gunshots mixed with screams sounded in the background, the young woman thought silently.

¿Will Jun-ho be okay? She really hoped so, she had known him for four years and knew that there were times when he could go to extremes to get what wanted.

It was something she loved about him but right now just worried about.

—¿What game are you going to play? —246 asked sitting next to her, momentarily taking her out of his thoughts.

—Gonggi —answered immediately, she was very good at that game, it had been his favorite since she was a child.

The others nodded and continued talking, she didn't go there with the intention of socializing too much.

For starters.

She was only there because Jun-ho had asked her to.

Jun-ho...

She just hoped him could find her and Gi-hun in time.

The policeman had no intention of stopping now, even without having the tracker active and with the fact that apparently someone was sabotaging them from inside, he was not going to stop searching.

The woman he loved was in those games, that wasn't going to be the plan, she was only supposed to be Gi-hun's bodyguard but things didn't go as planned.

—I think we should stop, it's almost time to eat and we're a bit far from the shore.

—We can't be so close now —he said, somewhat irritated and helpless. —Every minute they spend on that island is a danger.

He felt guilty for having dragged her into his own problems.

He remembered the last conversation he had with her before he lost sight of her.

[...]

—We are police officers —Jun-ho said, showing his badge to the guard who was guarding the entrance of the place

—Just like everyone else tonight —the man said with a mocking laugh, pointing at the long line waiting to get into the Halloween party.

Jun-ho didn't have enough patience to tolerate this, so with no other choice he went up to the man and took his gun out of his pocket.

—¿Do you want to see if this is a toy?

The guard stepped back in fear, giving them free passage.

The girl smiled proudly and waved her hand as if it were hot while sighed.

—That's my man —she boasted to the guard as they crossed the entrance. Jun-ho managed to hear her and inevitably a sly smile appeared on his lips.

—We have to find him before they do —he said, referring to Gi-hun searching the crowd but no masked pink guard was visible.

—It will be faster if we separate —she added, taking out her weapon and pointing it at the ground just to be ready in case used it —When we leave here it will be fondue night —she said without losing her charming touch.

It was something they both shared, despite being in tense situations like this, comments like that were never lacking, especially from the girl and that was something Jun-ho adored, her daring was part of what made the policeman fall in love with her.

—Maybe I should drag you into my problems more often —He replied with a smile and separated from her.

The girl was the first to find Gi-hun and surprisingly they let her get into the limo with him.

Jun-ho was unhappy about that but he couldn't change her mind and just when they thought they could intercept the front man of those suicide games they were forced to make a last-minute decision by shooting at the tires of the cars.

[...]

His stomach turned just remembering what people go through inside those games, he trusted that she could survive but the odds of not making him tremble and want to vomit.

—Okay... we'll call off the search —He relented after a few minutes.

He looked up at the sky and asked whoever would listen him to keep the woman he loves alive.

Meanwhile on the island, they had managed to get through the second game alive, she was sitting with Gi-hun's team silently watching around them when 001 sat next to her.

—Hi... —he greeted her with a soft smile, hoping that the mask being Young-il was convincing enough to fool her —I'm curious... if you're a police officer, ¿how did you end up here?

—¿Debts? —She replied with a false smile —My job was to take care of Mr. Seong but it didn't turn out the way I had in mind —she admitted, looking away again but feeling Young-il's intense gaze on her.

—So... ¿you're here as an undercover agent? —he asked, feigning surprise and curiosity.

He himself was the one who gave the order to allow her to also get into the limousine to accompany Gi-hun.

In-ho knew his brother would be worried about her, searching for her relentlessly, but it was inevitable, he needed to meet her in person and be sure how good of an influence she was on Jun-ho.

Or at least he thought it was a good excuse.

—Yeah... —She looked at him silently and attentively when she noticed a certain peculiarity in him appearance —¿Do I know you from somewhere? I feel like I've seen you before...

Him face seemed familiar but she couldn't figure out why. In-ho kept eye contact with her, waiting for her answer.

It was a pity, if she recognize it him had no other option to let her die in the next games but luckily for the girl she denied it.

—Forget it, I'm just stressed ¿And why are you here?

—My wife is sick and pregnant.

She looked at him with pity as he told her his story, it wasn't a lie, it was just that it happened years ago and he couldn't do anything to keep her alive.

—I'm sorry —The girl said after he finished his words.—I promise we'll get out of here and I'll help you as much as I can with the expenses.

The police had money, not to say that she was a millionaire but she lived in a good social status, she was willing to help him only because her heart was softened by him story.

–You barely know me, ¿why would you do that?

—My boyfriend has also had a somewhat hard life and I took this job for a reason, to help others.

She did not consider herself a saint, but if she had the opportunity to do something good for other people, she would do it regardless of the consequences.

—Also... I think I'm pregnant —She said with a small smile.

How chaotic and unfair could fate be that just one night before she was to go to the medical laboratory for her results, she was taken to those games against will.

On the other hand, she could also feel a slight connection with this stranger, which was why she revealed that to him so naturally, but she still didn't know exactly why.

—I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.

He nodded and watched her leave but his eyes also noticed three other suspicious looking players who followed her into the bathroom.

Without thinking twice he also stood up.

Not even two minutes had passed since she entered the bathroom when a woman grabbed her by the collar of the jacket and threw her backwards, making her fall on back.

–¿You remember me? —the woman demanded, looking at her with disdain and annoyance

—No —She answered standing up.

—You threw my husband into prison and won't be out for another twenty years —The woman pulled out a small pocket knife and another woman stood behind the police girl to hold her —I thought about how to kill you for days.

—Very cute, I still don't know who you are.

Those words only made the woman even more furious as lunged at her and tried to stab her,

Her hard training served her well in this unarmed fight.

But she was counting on another man to come in to help the two players who were trying to kill the young policewoman.

—Three against one unarmed is not fair... —she gasped for air as saw that he had a small opening in his head, her had hit himself on the sink at one point during the fight.

—¡It was also not fair that my husband was sentenced to twenty years in prison for attempted abuse!

—Oh, believe me, I tried to make it forty.

A kick to the face from one of them managed to stun her long enough to give them time to pin her down on the cold, damp bathroom floor.

She couldn't hear clearly what they were saying but when she saw how the man placed himself on top of her, their intentions were quite clear.

She didn't have enough strength to continue defending himself, her felt bleeding from his leg from the knife and the cut on his head hurt, but like a hero coming to save the day, Young-il walked through the door and shouted "Hey!"

That small interruption was enough for her to hit the man in the genitals with her knee, making him move away and moan in pain.

She was too stunned to see what was happening, but before she knew it, he had her in him arms and walked out of the bathroom leaving the two women unconscious on the floor and the man with a bleeding nose.

—¡You should do a better job as guards! —he yelled at the two pink soldiers guarding the door, she didn't know it but that scolding was enough to fire those two.

He carefully led her to the men's room where, due to his front man advantages, he was able to have a guard deny another player access until he said so.

—Thanks... —Her murmured as he dropped her on the ground—But I had it under control.

She let out a giggle that made his ribs hurt, In-ho refrained from laughing, now he had to focus on fixing her wounds.

—Being a police officer you made many enemies —He said while using his jacket with some water to clean her.

—You have no idea.

In-ho continued to clean her wounds and after a few minutes everything was better for her, the girl stood up cautiously because of the wound on her leg and thanked Young-il with a small bow.

—Thanks for helping me, for the second time.

—I hope it doesn't become routine —he said with a soft smile, looking her up and down unconsciously.

When they came out of the bathroom there were suspicious glances but neither of them cared.

It was cute, she liked the way this man treated whenever her found himself in trouble, in a way he reminded her of Jun-ho,

She liked that even though she could defend herself, there was still a knight in shining armor who would arrive in the worst situations.

Young-il, the gentleman who arrived just in time and the only one who knew about her suspected pregnancy.

tag list:

@raya4643 @lvspedri @iloveoldermen0204 @ravenslocked

[thomamaru]

Scripted Hearts: The Star, His Love, and His Spotlight...

Synopsis: Rin loves it when you wear his jersey. He may not show it, but deep inside, it shows that you are only a fan of him and nobody else's. The one day you wear it outside, you encounter his brother.

Tags: Rin Itoshi x gn!reader, jealous and protective! Rin itoshi, Sae is a tease, fluff

You’re on your way to meet Rin after his late practice, lazily wearing one of his jerseys since he left it at your place after a shoot. It feels soft and oversized, the number 10 sprawled across your back. As you pass by a café, someone calls out.

“Nice jersey.”

You turn, heart skipping as you recognize Sae Itoshi. Rin’s older brother. The famous Sae Itoshi—international soccer superstar and household name. You’d seen his aloof expression a million times in interviews, but now he’s standing a few feet from you, a brow raised.

“Thanks?” you stammer, unsure of what else to say.

“I didn’t know Rin lent you that.” His voice is cool but mildly amused. “Must mean you’re important to him.”

You chuckle nervously, “Uh, something like that. Are you visiting?”

Sae steps closer, a faint smirk gracing his face. “Something like that. Mind if I join you for a moment?”

As Sae chats with you, you find yourself less overwhelmed and more fascinated. He’s charming and charismatic, making light jokes about Rin’s dramatic nature, though there’s a sharpness in his tone whenever he mentions his younger brother.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Rin walking up the street. His hoodie’s pulled low, hands tucked into his pockets, his posture already rigid when he notices Sae speaking with you.

Sae follows your gaze, and a glimmer of mischief lights up his eyes. Before you can figure out what he’s planning, Sae leans in.

“Stand still,” he says casually, pulling out his phone.

“What—?”

Click.

The sudden flash blinds you, and before you can react, Sae pulls back with a smug grin. Turning to Rin, who’s now glaring at the scene from just a few feet away, Sae holds up the phone as if to say, See this?

“Later,” Sae says coolly, walking past you to casually bump shoulders with Rin. His exit is punctuated with a stuck-out tongue that only Rin can see.

You turn to Rin, still stunned. “That was...weird.”

Rin doesn’t answer. His teal eyes are locked on the spot Sae disappeared, his jaw visibly clenched. Without a word, he turns and starts walking ahead of you.

---

From that point on, Rin becomes...strange.

He starts hovering closer, always making sure his arm rests around your shoulders or that he’s the one holding your hand—even in situations where it isn’t necessary.

He starts nitpicking things. “Why were you talking to him for so long?” “You looked too comfortable.” “Don’t trust anything he says.”

During a red-carpet event, he leans in closer than usual when photographers ask for a couple shot, his lips brushing your temple with a pointed, "Mine," under his breath.

At first, you think he’s just being protective. But after the third time you catch him scrolling through his phone (most likely checking Sae’s social media), you finally confront him.

It’s late at night, and Rin is at your place, brooding on your couch while you try to get some work done. When he sighs for the fifth time in ten minutes, you slam your laptop shut.

“Okay, spill.”

Rin flinches but doesn’t look at you. “What?”

“You’ve been acting weird ever since we bumped into Sae. Don’t lie.”

His lips tighten into a thin line as his fingers tap against his knee—a rare show of nervousness. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously not ‘nothing.’ Rin, if something’s bothering you, just—"

“I didn’t like it.”

You blink, startled by his bluntness. “…Didn’t like what?”

“The jersey,” he says softly, staring at his hands. “You wearing my number. His number. Him acting like you…” Rin takes a deep breath, the words almost growled: “...like you’re someone he can mess with.”

“Oh.” You sit back, realization dawning on you. “You’re jealous.”

His head snaps up, his teal eyes wide. “I’m not—”

“You’re definitely jealous!” you say, stifling a laugh.

“I’m not!” Rin protests, his voice rising slightly before softening. “It’s just… I don’t like the way he looks at you. Like he’s better than me. Like he can take you—”

“Rin.”

Your voice makes him pause, and when you place a hand on his cheek, his rigid expression crumbles just slightly.

“I’m with you because I want you. Not Sae, not anyone else. Just you.

He swallows hard, leaning into your touch. “You mean that?”

“Of course, I mean it.” You smile softly. “Though, for the record, I like when you get a little possessive. It’s cute.”

Rin groans, burying his face in your neck as you laugh.

---

The next day, Rin posts a picture of the two of you in his jersey on his private account—a candid shot of you laughing on his couch while he watches you with a rare, genuine smile.

Minutes later, your phone buzzes with a notification.

Sae Itoshi: Guess he made his move, huh? Cute.

You laugh, showing Rin the message. He narrows his eyes, snatching your phone and typing a single reply.

Y/N : Stay away.

When you glance at him, his glare softens into a small smirk. “What?”

“Nothing,” you say, pulling him closer. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Only because of you,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against yours.

And for once, you’re okay with that.

(*￣∇￣)ノ

[yoonjae20]

Danny deeply distrusts the Justice League

Based on the wonderful @saltymarshmall0w 's prompt.

I really feel like they aren't enough fanfics or prompts where Danny dislikes the Justice League — and continues to dislike them even after everything (Anti-Ecto Acts) is revealed and taken care of. (Or maybe I'm not looking in the right places — if you guys have any recommendations put them in the Tags or Comments!)

Read on ao3. Masterpost

After many years Danny has finally retired — sure he had to leave everything he loved and that was familiar to him behind for it, but it was worth it. He had a small little house that was his own, he would water his plants every morning and make small talk with his neighbors. Everything was fine. 

Everything turns not so fine, when there’s a sudden knock on his door. Expecting it to be one of his neighbors — for example needing eggs or flour (a neighbor’s kid had needed eggs to bake one of her parents a cake and Danny had been more than willing to spare the few she needed) — he opens the door without a second thought.

Only to almost immediately want to close it again. 

Because that’s the Justice League standing in front of his door. And that can mean nothing good.

Before Danny can slam the door closed, Superman‘s shoe slides in between the door frame, blocking his escape. The smile the man shoots him is probably meant to be reassuring, but the only thing Danny feels is dread. 

To most civilians the Justice League is seen as a beacon of hope — but to Danny? He knows the bitter truth. When he needed them the most they turned his back on him before chasing him across half the globe calling him a villain without even hearing his side of the story. They handed him over the GIW for Ancient’s Sake. He would have died if it weren’t for Tucker and Sam. (He may not have scars to show for it but he can still feel his chest burn when he thinks back to it.) Not that they can remember that though. He still doesn’t trust them. 

“You are Danny Fenton, correct?” Superman asks and Danny stiffens. 

Fenton — not Nightingale like he has changed his surname into to escape his parents influence and leave everything behind. 

“Yes,” he says warily — seeing no point in lying. Considering Batman is lingering behind Superman the Detective would figure it out instantly. 

“And you used to be Amity’s Park’s vigilante Phantom?”

Danny grips the door frame, knuckles white. What’s their point? Are they trying to intimidate him?

“Yes,” he grits out. 

“We were told that you are the one we should seek out in matters involving Ghosts and the Infinite Realms,” Superman continues, but Danny doesn’t let him finish.

“I’m retired,” he interrupts. “Find someone else.”  

“There’s a world-ending event,” Superman says like that would convince Danny. Like Danny hadn’t lived though so many of them — had to prevent them from happening without anyone’s help every single time. Guilt-tripping much? “Even if you don’t want to fight — we need you as an advisor.”

Danny snorts, shaking his head. 

“Go take up the matter with the Justice League Dark then.” 

Danny moves to close the door, but still Superman’s foot doesn’t budge. He could probably brute-force his way through this — but Danny’s tired and he’s not in the mood to explain to his neighbors why his door is broken and he needs to do repairs.

He glares at them and to his surprise Superman actually takes a step back — but still not enough to be able to close the door. 

Danny hasn’t transformed into Phantom since he left Amity Park. Had kept that part of himself locked away — would have separated his Ghost Self from himself if he didn’t know he would be selfish for that. Had ignored his Obsession even if it screamed at him — had pushed it away in his Human Form even if it muted all the colors around him and it meant that every breath was a painful wheeze.

Faced with this situation he almost wants to break the promise he made to himself — but he can’t.

There is no GIW anymore —  Danny had made sure of that. He had wiped all of their files and his parents published research with the help of Technus. He had dismantled both portals to the Ghost Zone and made sure no one would be able to replicate it. But Danny also knows the Justice League — knows how much Superman’s punches hurt, how it feels to get mind controlled — they could overpower him in an instant if he twitched as much as into the wrong direction.  

He really doesn’t have a choice here, doesn’t he? If he doesn’t go out of his free will — they will force him with any means necessary, of that much he is sure. 

His gaze trails to his neighbor’s house and the swing in their backyard. And if they are right and he turns them away — is he sure he won’t feel any guilt if something happens that he could have prevented? Sometimes Danny really hates his Martyr Complex. 

Danny sighs, defeated.

“What do you need my help for?”

They had liked their new neighbor despite the fact that he barely left his house other than to water his plants. They had known that the young man was sickly. He looked like death wormed him over and was weak on his feet— his ice-blue eyes dull. His smile barely held any warmth in it.

Still they invited them over after he had given their daughter eggs to bake the cake for their birthday. They learned that he was kind and had escaped to their small village to live a quiet life. 

When the young man came to tell them that he would be out of town for a few days and to please water his plants if they could, they were worried.

“Are you sure that you are fine, son?” they asked and touched the man’s forehead — but it was icily cold like the rest of their skin had always been. “You look even paler than usual.”

The young man had only given them a half-hearted smile and affirmed them that he was fine

Their daughter's excited steps had hurried behind them and she tugged on their pants after the man had left. 

“Was that Uncle Danny?” the girl asked. “Can I play with him?”

They gave their daughter a weak smile. 

“Uncle Danny is busy for a few days,” they explained. “Later, okay? How about you draw him a picture while we wait for him to come back? So he has something to look forward to?” 

Their daughter nodded and raced back to the living room, searching for supplies, while they continued looking out of the window. They can’t help but have a bad feeling about this.  

It’s unnerving how quiet the young man is. 

There are no easy smiles, sassy quips and puns like from the few shaky phone videos they had pulled from the internet about Phantom. 

He’s meticulous. Probably even more than Batman — and that is a statement. There had been a deep mistrust in the eyes when they had located him and asked him to help them. It’s evident in every step he makes. He double-, even triple-checks every single evidence, every single sentence, every single word they say. 

Nothing is left unturned as he works the way though the situation like if he is dealing with a case. He never stops moving, always doing something — reading through heavy leather-bound books or through their reports. His heart rate is so slow that Clark sometimes wonders if the boy is still breathing at all. 

When the young man had asked them if they spoke to the leader regarding the war declaration and the reasons behind them, he had clicked his tongue when they told him no.

He hadn’t let anyone help him when he drew out the summoning cycle — it looked even more intricate and complicated than they had seen from Zatanna or Constantine. When he had spoken the words for the spell,  his words had sounded ancient and undescribable — hushed whispers following every single word. He clasped his hands and only opened his eyes when he spoke the last word, his eyes burning a deep green. 

The cycle goes up in green fire before a form appears — Clark recognizes the Ghost from the declaration. 

The man’s cold gaze sweeps over the Justice League before it stops on Phantom. He smirks, bowing his head slightly.

“I greet the Prince of the Infinite Realms.”

“Cut the crap Fright Knight,” Phantom's voice is steel-hard. “We both know I refused that position.”

The man tilts his head but nods.

“Very well,” he says. “I greet Phantom, savior of the Infinite Realms.”

Phantom grits his teeth like he wants to refuse that title too before he shakes his head. He gestures to the Justice League.

“Explain.”

“We are just paying back what has been done to us,” Fright Knight claims. “Vita brevis, ars longa, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile.”

“Life is short, art is long, opportunity fleeting, experiment treacherous, judgment difficult,” Diana translates for them. 

“I see the Daughter of the Queen of the Amazons knows her arts,” the man’s voice has a hint of mockery. “Humanum genus est avidum nimis auricularum. Ignorantia legis non excusat:”

Diana’s eyebrows knit together as she listens. 

“Mankind is too greedy for lies. Ignorance of the law does not excuse,” her voice is almost a whisper. 

“I would have thought you would know of this Phantom,” Fright Knight addresses the young man again. “But now seeing your state, you probably didn’t feel the call for the announcement either. Is there a reason why you are starving yourself?”

Phantom doesn’t meet any of their eyes as he answers.

“That is unimportant to this situation.”

Fright Knight’s lips twitch back into a grin. 

“If the savior of the Infinite Dreams claims so, then I have no choice but to accept it.” He turns back to the Justice League. “Si vis pacem, para bellum.”

“If you want peace, prepare for war.”

“When have we been ignorant?” Batman finally steps in. 

Fright Knight huffs out a dark laugh.

“When has mankind not been ignorant?” Fright Knight questions. “When your government captured my brethren and tortured them, where were you? When they declared us as non-sentient and staged war against us, where were you? When they threatened to destroy our home, where were you?”

The man’s eyes seem to burn as he repeats himself.

“Where were you?”

Clark and the rest of the League are shocked to silence. 

“Now that the danger has passed, why should we just forgive you? Why should we forget?” Fright Knight continues. “If we are not worthy enough to be counted towards mankind that means we just have to rewrite the rules. And since we were never given the chance to negotiate, that means by force.”

“The Meta-Protection Acts-” 

“Only count towards those that are alive.” Fright Knight interrupts Batman. “After all, how can the dead feel any emotions such as pain? I’m sure if you ask your government they will hand you a lot of pretty reports on the biased experiments that prove so.” 

“But that’s-” Clark starts but Fright Knight doesn’t let him finish.

“Despicable? When has that ever stopped mankind?” Fright Knight asks. “We can talk if there isn't a law that states that we can be eradicated without any consequences.”

Before either of them can stop him, Fright Knight swishes his cape made out of purple fire and disappears. Clark faintly asks himself if that is how other people feel when Batman does that in front of their noses. 

Seeing no other option the entire League turns back to Phantom who hasn’t said a single word since the Ghost went on his tirade.

“Phantom-” Batman tries, but the young man’s eyes burn with so much hate that the normally stoic man stocks in his words. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Phantom seethes. “You heard him. Now finally do your jobs right for once.”

Then he leaves the room without a single glance back.

Clark gulps as they look at each other.

“I feel like we made a mistake.”

When the news declares the Anti-Ecto Acts as abolished, Danny feels nothing but exhaustion. The Justice League barely managed to avoid a large-scale — and very justified war. 

Danny leans back tiredly on his sofa. His eyes trail to the drawing his neighbor’s daughter had given him and the first genuine smile in months graces his lips.

“What I don’t do for mankind,” he sighs before he closes his eyes. 

[puckinghischier]

i’m having soft quinn thoughts today and i have to shout them from the rooftops so everyone else can suffer with me.

but i absolutely cannot stop thinking about how quinn would always want to spend time with you, but feel guilty for how occupied he is during the season. every second of downtime he has is spent watching game film in your living room, studying tactics and plays. not that you ever complain. you’re content simply being in the same room as him, not taking for granted any amount of time you can be in his presence.

quinn’s attention is always half on you, no matter how hard he tries to focus. he steals more glances at you than he cares to admit, worried that one day you’ll get sick of sitting in silence while hockey occupies the space between you. but you never do. you keep yourself busy scrolling through your phone or reading the most recent book he bought you, never uttering a complaint. he’s tuned in to every fidget or movement you make, not wanting you to remove your always cold feet from under his warm legs to occupy yourself with something—or rather someone—better.

it surprises him that you never do. you never utter a word, not wanting to disrupt his work. every so often he’ll catch you looking back at him during one of his ‘quick’ glances, absorbing the warm smile you give him. sometimes you’ll quietly ask him if he wants anything from the kitchen when you stand to go fill up your water cup, but seem content to simply sit there with him as he mumbles to himself, jotting down notes as he watches.

tonight, he can’t help but notice—during his million and one glances at you—that your eyes are glued to the tv. your phone is laying, locked, in your lap, eyes following the puck as it’s shuffled across both screens from player to player. your body’s subtle reactions to the game aren’t lost on him either. the twitch of your foot anytime someone shoots the puck, the raise of your brow when a player on either team scores, the hitch in your breath anytime the two teams start to fight.

you can feel his eyes on you more than usual tonight, his (not so) subtle glances lingering longer than normal. you turn your head to meet his gaze, brows furrowed and a puzzled look on his face.

“what?” you whisper, flitting your eyes between his own and the tv, not wanting to miss any important moments.

“are you watching the game?” he looks at you like you have three heads.

you giggle in response, amused at his expression and surprised tone of his voice. “yeah, kinda. don’t really know what’s happening, though, if i’m honest.”

there was never a home game of quinn’s you missed. you went to support him every time you could, and loved seeing him in his element. but you can’t even pretend to understand the sport past each player wanting to get the puck into the opposing net. you didn’t understand the positions, the penalties, or anything surrounding the ins and outs of professional hockey. you never watched it growing up, and probably still wouldn’t watch it if you weren’t dating the captain of your new city’s team.

you had moved to vancouver for work, and knew nothing of the prominent hockey culture before you arrived. the sports presence buzzed all around you as you figured out the ins and outs of your new home, but it had no place in your daily routine. that is, until you hit it off with this insanely attractive stranger that seemed to frequent the same coffee shop as you. you accidentally cut him in line one day, offering to pay for his coffee to make up for it, but he paid for yours instead. a ‘pay it forward’ war was started between the two of you until he was stood waiting at the door with your usual order one morning, requesting more than just a name and the fact you drank a large, vanilla iced coffee with chocolate syrup lining the cup every morning.

when he realized you were likely the only person in the city he now calls home that doesn’t know who he is, it only piqued his interest in the pretty coffee shop stranger further. the morning meetings at the shop turned into an exchange of numbers, which developed into him meeting you for lunch on your break when he was in town, that then escalated into dinner dates and spontaneous outings, and now it’s found its permanence in you moving in with him a few months ago.

you were…indifferent, when he revealed to you who he was and what all his career entailed, uttering out a simple “oh! that’s cool! makes sense why you’re always at the gym, now” later explaining that you thought he was just really into fitness and maybe worked as a personal trainer or some equivalent. when he first invited you to games he tried to tell you a little bit about the rules, but assumed you’d catch on as you watched (hopefully) more and more of his sport. you always told him how much you enjoyed watching him in his element, but never asked many questions past if the other team was supposed to be good or not. he assumed you understood enough to keep up, knowing how intelligent and observant you are, but he tried to refrain from talking about work too much with you. when he’s with you, he wants to be present with you, not hockey.

which is why he feels so guilty at times like this, watching film while you’re sitting next to him. it feels like you’re two people who happen to be in the same room, completely in your own worlds. until tonight.

“you…never watch the games with me. you always have a book or something,” he reaches over to pause the game, still a little shocked.

you shrug at him. “didn’t feel like reading tonight. not really anything new on my socials, either. so i figured i’d just watch with you for once.”

“and you weren’t gonna say anything?”

this earns a real laugh out of you, not understanding why this is such a big shock for him. it’s not like you’ve ever told him you don’t like hockey. you just have never really cared to watch it if isn’t the one playing. but you’ve been wanting to learn more about it recently, tired of not being able to participate in the games like the other women do when they’re watching their husband or boyfriend play.

“why would i? you’re trying to work, i’m just trying to learn a little bit,” you reply, the hint of a laugh on each word as you say it.

quinn just blinks at you, trying not to get his hopes up at your expression, not knowing just how far you want to go with your quest for knowledge.

“since when do you want to learn about hockey? why now?” he questions, trying not to sound accusatory or snarky, but genuinely curious as to what you’ll answer.

“i’ve always wanted to learn, ever since that first game i went to, but you don’t seem to like to talk about it outside of the rink, so i don’t really ask much. me and google have become very good friends as of late,” you shrug out another answer for him. “plus, when you’re watching games at night like this, i don’t want to keep talking and asking a million questions while you’re trying to work, so i force myself not to watch to keep from distracting you.”

quinn sits a little straighter, now worried he’s made it seem like hockey is this forbidden subject between the two of you.

“sweetheart, i don’t like talking about hockey outside of the rink because i don’t ever want you to think that’s all we ever talk about, not because we can’t talk about it,” he tries to defend himself, even though there’s no accusation. “if you want to learn about the game, please, ask me questions. i- god, i’d love nothing more than to teach you about it. i hate sitting here in silence every night i’m home, worried you’re going to eventually get pissed at me because all i do during the season is watch old games.”

you grin at his slight panic, endeared by how worried he was about your feelings this whole time, appreciating his intention with the unspoken rule.

“q, i never asked about it because i didn’t want you to be upset because i kept bringing up work when you’re away from it all,” your smile only grows at the fact you were both worried about upsetting the other for no reason at all.

the slight tension in his shoulders fades at your words, relieved that you’re not upset or feel like he made it seem like you had no place in that part of his life.

“alright, well, fire away, then,” he gives you the floor, pressing play so the players on the tv screens move once again, now glancing at you every few seconds to catch any looks of confusion or interest in any particular play or action.

the rest of the night is spent playing and pausing the game over and over again, question after question flying out of your mouth. anything from why the faceoff is from a certain spot on the ice to what a particular penalty looks like is spoken the second the thought enters your brain. quinn takes his time explaining every answer to you, even rewinding and pulling up other examples to make sure you understand what he’s telling you.

at the end of the night he realizes just how much more he caught of the game while answering your questions. there’s several times you picked up on things he never has before. like why one player seems to always place his stick so close to another player’s skates while he’s chasing him. or why a certain goalie seems to lean left everytime instead of right, no matter where the puck is coming from.

he’s been able to add several tells about players in his notes, ready to take them to practice the next morning and change his game to accommodate his opponents habits. and when they win their game a few days later, thanks to your observations during the impromptu hockey 101 class in your living room, he revels in the fact that even though you know so little about his sport and his job, you ended up being one of the biggest parts of their success.

from then on, the nights of sitting in silence while he studies film are nonexistent. every time he brings work home with him, you’re right there next to him, enthralled in whatever opponent’s game they’re facing that week. he loves that you’re so observant, paying attention to the smallest of details someone who’s been playing for years becomes blind to. and he really loves turning you into a bottomless pit of hockey information, seeing how you absorb each ‘lesson’ from day to day.

when they break through their slump, a big part of that accredited to your nights spent questioning quinn, and he sees you start really participating in his games, he can’t help but fall that much deeper in love with you. watching you scream and complain about bad calls with the rest of the fans in rogers arena, and reading your texts to him about your thoughts on his away games you watch on tv, swells his heart in a way he never thought to be possible.

plus, he always knew it was only a matter of time before you fell victim to the hockey atmosphere of the city. no one can really resist the pull of vancouver hockey, especially not when it’s captain has anything to do with it.

[hearts4hughes]

black - bsf!rafe cameron x fem!reader

(listen to black by pearl jam for the full experience)

warnings: pure yearning and desperate longing ; substance use ; angst angst angst

a/n: can you tell that i love yearning!pathetic!bsf!rafe? because i do and it consumes my thoughts.

he stalked you from across the room, his jaw clenched and his chest burnt with a green flame. every breath came out harsher than the one before.

you stood across the room, your white dress swaying as you moved your hips to the music. your perfectly manicured fingers clasped behind the blonde’s neck as you both danced. he leaned forward, bending over just enough to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

rafe heard your precious giggles from his spot and he swallowed harshly, looking down at the glass in his hands. he swore he never felt pain like htis— the pain of seeing his best friend, his girl, flirting with some nobody at his party. someone could’ve stabbed him and he would’ve felt less pain than this.

that boy doesn’t deserve you. he doesn’t know how to treat you well, not like rafe does. you’re an empty canvas, an untouched piece of clay, the goddamn essence of pure in every sense of the word— something only rafe can trust himself to protect, everyone else was a potential threat.

his fingers tightened around the glass, the knuckles of his free hand whitening as he fought the urge to crush it. his eyes never left you, though— how could they? you were his center of gravity, the one constant in a world that never stopped spinning. but tonight, you felt farther away than ever.

he couldn’t stop the thoughts that crashed over him like violent waves, each one dragging him further under. did you laugh like that when he cracked a joke? did your eyes light up the same way when it was his arms around you, his voice low in your ear?

you weren’t his. not really. not in the way he wanted, not in the way he craved. that was the problem. he had been a coward for too long, hiding behind the mask of your best friend because it was safe because he thought it was enough. but it wasn’t— not when you looked at someone else the way he wished you’d look at him.

he hated how he noticed everything about you. how you tapped your fingers to the beat of the music when you were lost in thought; how you always tilted your head just slightly when you were teasing him; how your lips curved into the smallest, most beautiful smile when he called you his girl, even if he only said it as a joke. he noticed it all.

god, he wanted to pull you away from the blonde, to grab your wrist, and drag you outside where it was quiet. he wanted to press you against the wall, to tell you how he felt, to confess everything. confess how he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching you, how you were his, whether you realized it or not.

but he stayed rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the fear of ruining what you had. what if you didn’t feel the same? how could you love a disaster like him? what if he lost you completely? the thought alone made his stomach churn.

rafe downed the rest of his drink in one bitter gulp, the burn almost distracting him from how his body ached. he stood up suddenly, grabbing the packet of white powder from his back pocket. the very same powder that preoccupied his vicious thoughts for a while. this kept him sane.

but as he went to leave the room, your eyes met his. it was as if time stopped as you both gazed at each other. you gave him a weak smile, almost as if you could sense his pain. he returned the smile, giving you a wink before leaving the room. the second he looked away, his face dropped. he entered an empty room, poured the powder into thin lines, rolled up a $100 bill, and let the substance fill his nose. he wiped away the drop of blood that followed, smiling in contentment as his thoughts were silenced.

and yet, even as the numbness crept in, the ache of you lingered like an unbearable weightt he couldn’t shake. you were his comfort and his torment, the dream he’d never wake from, and the wound that refused to heal. no matter how much he tried to quiet his mind, you were always there, tattooed in black into his every thought, every breath, every broken piece of him. you weren’t his, not really, but god, you would always be the only thing he ever truly wanted.

[aurenturley]

It was precisely Feyre who told Nesta, before being taken , not to marry Tomas. Feyre, in the first book, saw all of Tomas's "red flags" and told Nesta not to marry him, because he had an abusive father with his mother, and would treat Nesta the same way. And you tell me that this younger, more reckless Feyre was able to see through a man she barely knew, but she can't see through Cassian? Through Rhysand?

And do you know what's even more ironic? Do you know what Feyre's argument was for his intuition regarding Tomas? That he didn't take a stand against his father to protect his own mother, that he never did anything to help, and consequently, in her logic, this made her believe that Tomas actually agreed with his father's attitude towards his mother. Not to mention the fact that Thomas looked at Feyre lewdly, so she was already aware of him.

And do you know who else doesn't take a stand against an abusive man who wants to *KILL* an innocent woman? Yeah, Cassian... And the worst part is that the woman is his own mate. And in a way, Feyre's logic can be applied here... If he doesn't take a stand to defend her, it's because deep down he supports and believes that the abuse against Nesta is the right thing to do. And from what we can see from his POV... That's more than concrete.

Feyre even uses the same logic with Lucien and Tamlin: if he didn't help me, he also supports Tamlin.

Cassian is in a similar situation here, he is friends with the high lord. The similarity ends there, because their relationship is not limited to friendship outside of work like Lucien and Tamlin, Cassian and Rhysand call themselves brothers and Nesta is his MATE, and he not only stays silent when Rhysand threatens to kill her, he PUNISHES HER! And he also stays silent when she belittles herself. He pushed her away more than once in public and Feyre SAW IT! She saw him change lingerie weeks after declaring himself to Nesta and then leave her alone again.

Feyre only sees what she wants. If she likes Cassian then Cassian is good. And yet is not good even even for her, happy to obey his master and let her die without even knowing why.

And in the second book there's a whole paragraph about how Cassian and Azriel would turn against Rhsyand if she was in danger at his hands. Hilarious. She was in danger and they didn't even blink. Not even Morrigan, who she considers a sister and supposedly helps women make their own choices, her "supposed" family that would do anything for her would let her die without her having any choice about her own body or even knowing about it.

If Tomas was bad just for "letting" his father beat his mother (Feyre's first reason to dislike him was because of this, before knowing how disgusting he was) what would Cassian be if he was going to allow his brother to kill the supposed love of his life?

But again Feyre only sees what she wants, if she likes someone they have no flaws if she is against them they never did a good thing in their life and deserve all the hate.

Feyre ignores how Rhysand was abusive and STILL IS to her because in her eyes he can't do no wrong, so whatever he does, it is the right thing and just brushes it off, same thing with Cassian, there is only black and white with Feyre, she sees how he acts with Nesta and yet she doesn't see anything wrong with it because Cassian is good, so he is not abusive doesn't matter what is in front of her eyes.

And yet acotar stans still act like Feyre's POV is fact, not just her own opinion and the way she sees things in her very narrowed mind, only regarding her feelings, even after Nesta's POV, acotar stans only allows Feyre's POV to be the whole truth.

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

Suggestion!

I'm genderfluid, and I was wondering if you could do a obey me! Brothers react to someone being transphobic of MC?

Juat a random little idea.

Oh no...lots of planned deaths will be happening..but of course!

The brothers reaction to someone being transphobic to MC

Lucifer

He has always been accepting of you he always saw you as his lover and nothing more nothing less. He hasn't heard much transphobic talk so he never felt he needed to do something about it until one demon changed all that. They were using very hurtful comments knowing exactly what they were doing. He immediately storms over and stares the demon right in their eyes. "I suggest you shut your mouth before I have Diavolo banish you from devildom or better yet let me deal with you." He says his demon form on the verge of escaping. Of course the demon backed off letting out small apologies before running away. He immediately goes to comfort MC saying all the demons words were trash and nothing that could ever be the truth.

Mammon

He already is very defensive of Mc in the first place so when someone bad mouths them it isn't too pretty. Which is exactly what's happening in this situation. The moment he hears any sort of negative comment he immediately gets set off. He of course was damn near a few inches away from MC so he heard it loud and clear. He has no self restraint and his demon form was immediately out in the open. "The hell did ya say? I'll make you eat your damn words then the floor next!" He says spewing more threats before having MC intervene. He after being calmed down and distanced immediately checked up on you apologizing for being too aggressive in front of you (not for being aggressive towards the asshole)

Levi

He isn't very confrontationally to begin with so when situations like so occur he freaks out. Once he sees MC is hurt from these horrible comments he immediately drags them away. If the demon insists on following he eventually snaps. "One more step and lotan will have you for dinner" he quickly states. Once MC is away and safe he nervously checks up on them hoping they aren't too hurt and affected or else he'd relay this incident to Lucifer... anonymously...sure

Satan

As expected it doesn't end well. He tried to hold his temper and ward the transphobic asshole off with a few threats but the demon wasn't listening. He eventually lost his temper and not even MC could calm him. Lucifer had to be called and the two were safely back at the house of lamentation. Once he was coherent he apologized for his outburst and for not listen to MC. He does however promise no one will make comments like those again after seeing what happened to the last demon.

Asmos

With how he is he's dealt with stuff like this demon before. He covers Mc's ears and glares at the demon "hunny look at that outfit I wouldn't spout out anymore low life insults when you can barely dress yourself." He then walks MC away and distracts them. He did however alert Lucifer of this demon and let whatever happens happen☺️

Beel

He loves family and MC so whenever one is threatened he isn't such a great person to be around. This demon has some balls for saying such harsh things to MC when beel is standing right there next to them. He suddenly grabbed the demons shirt with one hand and looks them dead in the eyes. "Stop talking." He suddenly says. MC rests their hand on him to ease his anger a bit. It works he lets the demon down and goes to take a step forward and the demon has already scurried off. He turns to MC and cups their face "are you alright" he asks his demeanor completely different from before.

Belphie

He's an asshole by nature so... The demon wasn't very smart doing such a thing. As soon as he spoke and said one hurtful comment and MC's face dropped he suddenly grabbed the demon and forced them to sleep. He would have gone further if MC didn't step in. "Don't Lucifer will have your head if you do anything more" MC states and he sighs walking them both away. Still not getting that demon out of his head eventually doing something but no one will know that.

[fortytworedvines]

25 from the drabble list? :)

Drabble list - send me a number! Thanks for the prompt! 1.2k of angst with a happy ending ahead:

25 - “Go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

It was her own fault, Audrey reflected, as the cold bit deeper into her bones. She called Siegfried stubborn, but she was just as stubborn as him. And on this occasion they had butted heads and she, as she so often did, had won. She would allow him victories when they pertained to his work, his practice. Less often when it was people, their home. And she would never let him win when it regarded her own person and her job outside Skeldale.

More fool me, she mused. Should have let him win this one, Audrey. She huddled further into her coat and the scant shelter of the stone wall. Her bike, useless, wheel bent in two, lay next to her. Snow was piling up on everything. And she was so very, very, cold now.

-- “You’re going out?” He’d looked at her sharply when she came downstairs, neat and trig in her ARP uniform.

“I have my rounds.” She settled her helmet on her head and pulled on her thick winter coat.

“Absolutely not, Mrs Hall.” He gestured to the curtained windows. “The weather – it’s going to snow.”

“There’s no sign of it,” she retorted.

“The farmers know,” he said firmly. “You mustn’t go out.”

“I appreciate your concern, Mr Farnon. But I have a job to do.” She buttoned her coat determinedly.

He slipped round her and stood in front of the door. “I won’t let you.”

“Mr Farnon!” She was torn between frustration and laughter as he spread-eagled himself against the door frame. “You’re being ridiculous! Either you stand aside and let me go and do my vital war job, or we can have a brawl and then I will go and do my job.”

“I’d like to see that,” said Tristan from the doorway. “Go on old chap. My money’s on her.”

Audrey rolled her eyes at the lad. His brother glared. Audrey tapped her foot impatiently. “I’m due out, Mr Farnon.”

With a sigh, he subsided. “Go on then,” he said, stepping away from the door. “But please,” he put out a hand to her as she passed him. “Be careful.”

“I’m always careful, Mr Farnon.” She smiled at him and slipped out into the cold night air.

It had started to snow, of course. She’d been on her way back, at least. And it hadn’t been coming down so thickly. But then she’d skidded, lost her balance on a patch of ice. Crashed the bike into the wall and ricked her ankle.

She drew her arms out of the sleeves of her coat and huddled them into her body, pulled her coat over her knees so she was tucked up into a ball. Keep the extremities warm, she thought to herself.

She tried to shuffle her feet to keep them warm, but the pain in her ankle made her gasp. She curled herself even tighter and tried to ignore the cold biting and prickling into her.

Mr Farnon was going to be absolutely infuriating if she got home.

--

The fight between Mrs H and his brother had amused Tristan. He always enjoyed seeing his brother butt up against someone else and Mrs H could hold her own. He hadn’t thought anything about it when she went out on her rounds. Not until Siegfried stood, worried, at the window, tweaked the curtain aside and Tris had seen the flakes swirling down.

Siegfried watched the clock, and Tristan watched him.

“She should be back by now,” Siegfried said. His face was pale.

“She’s only a minute late,” Tris pointed out, always the optimist to his brother’s pessimist.

“Something’s wrong,” Siegfried said. “I can feel it.”

It had been a long time since Tristan had seen his brother so worked up. Worry slid into his own heart. “You really think she’s in trouble?”

“I know so. I’m going to find her.”

Tristan didn’t hesitate. He loved her like he’d loved their mother. “I’m coming with you.”

They took the Rover. “I should have driven her,” Siegfried said. “God, I should have driven her, what was I thinking?”

They knew the route – Audrey had shown them earlier in the year. In the bright summer sun, it had been lovely. Now in the dark and the snow, it had a very different aura.

They drove out of Darrowby, up through the narrow winding lanes. Siegfried grappled with the car while Tristan stared eagerly out, looking for any sign of their errant housekeeper.

Finally, they reached a dip, full of snow. “I can’t go through that,” Siegfried said. “It’ll never make it.” He gritted his teeth. “We carry on on foot.”

They’d put on their winter coats, scarves and hats before they’d left but even with them, Tris was unprepared for the way the wind bit him. For the first time, fear truly gripped him.

“Get moving!” Siegfried shouted.

They scrambled along the stone wall, avoiding the deep snow in the dip, and struck out together. Tristan followed his brother. He found himself irresistibly reminded of the carol – in the bleak midwinter. In his masters steps he trod, indeed! If he hadn’t been so desperately worried, he might have whistled it.

Finally, finally, Siegfried gave a shout. “She’s there!”

They scrambled the final metres and Siegfried fell to his knees next to the cold bundle of their housekeeper. She was huddled over, eyes closed, still.

“She’s not-” Tris couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Breathing,” Siegfried rapped out.

“Thank God.”

Siegfried clambered to his feet then bent and lifted the prone body.

“Let me help,” Tris demanded.

Siegfried shook his head. “I’ve got her.”

Carefully and swiftly, they made their way back to the car.

“You drive,” Siegfried said, as he lifted Mrs Hall into the back seat. He passed Tristan the keys and Tris took them dumbly. “Get a move on, man!”

With cold, shaking fingers, Tris turned the ignition. He glanced into the back seat. His brother had wrapped himself around Mrs Hall and was rubbing her back. He swallowed. Put the car into reverse and sped backwards as fast as he dared until there was a wide spot in the lane. Then he turned and drove like the devil to Skeldale. --

It hurt. Everything hurt. Pain was screaming through her fingers and her toes. But she was somewhere soft, somewhere warm. If it wasn’t for the pain, she’d think she’d died and gone to heaven.

She forced her eyes open. She was in her bed and in the chair by her side was Mr Farnon.

She opened her mouth to speak and managed only a croak.

“You’re awake!”

Never had she seen such relief as she did then in Mr Farnon’s eyes. He dropped to his knees by her bed, found her hand and gripped it tightly.

She stared at him, his dear face, the one she’d thought she’d never see again, when she’d finally lost her battle to stay awake.

“I’m sorry,” she managed. “So sorry.”

He bent his head over their joined hands and pressed his forehead to them. When he finally raised it, there were tears in his eyes. “I thought I’d – we’d lost you.”

“Was – a fool.”

He didn’t disagree. Instead he pressed a kiss to her hand. “Yes,” he said simply.

“Will listen… next time.”

The pain was fading and she was so tired. Her eyes were drifting shut but she knew for certain this time that she would open them again. But one thing remained. “Please – don’t go,” she whispered.

He smiled at her, heartbreakingly tenderly. “Go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

[caprisun89bakerstreet]

How can I be guilty as sin?

Ch.1 - What if he’s written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind?

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

Series summary: the 5 times you almost told Obi-Wan about your feelings for him and the 1 time it slipped out

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

“You never kiss anyone.”

“You’ve never seen me kiss anyone.” He corrects you and you want to crash his speeder for saying that.

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

Pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi f!reader

Wordcount: 5.0k (got out of hand oops)

Chapter summary: the council got a tip that Cad Bane will be at a bar on Coruscant tonight. You and Obi-wan are send to capture him but a few drinks in your feelings for him are distracting as you start to get jealous

Tags/trigger warnings: alcohol, being pulled closer by stranger but is quickly resolved, reader gets jealous, protective obi-wan, forbidden love, yearning

Notes: this is not exactly finished but i’m too lazy to go through this and edit it again. And i spend too much time searching up in-canon alcoholic beverages—the things one does for writing a fic. Nowhere near perfect but anyways enjoy~

You were sitting in the Archives, looking through all the information available about a certain bounty hunter. One you disliked. A lot. Because you’ve already met him one or twice, and Cad Bane wasn’t the type you were ecstatic about to meet again. The Jedi Council got a tip from their contacts that Cad Bane, someone they’ve been trying to capture for months now, would be at a bar here on Coruscant tonight. The Durasteel Den. And you were assigned to capture him. Spitting through his information you don’t learn much else to your credit. He’s a bounty hunter. What did surprise you however is that he had recently kidnapped children. But there weren’t any clues as to why. The thought made your stumach twist. But there was someone else coming with you on this mission.

“Did you find anything?” You suddenly hear a familiar voice and turn to Obi-Wan standing behind you. If you could’ve bottled the sound of the warmth in it, his accent and the way it spread tingles through you, you would’ve gotten drunk on it every night. It would be stronger than the finest corellian whiskey that’s for sure.

“He’s bad with children.” You wildly understated as you look back at the screen with a frown. “But not much we don’t know already. I doubt we’ll need to know about his ‘babysitting skills’ if we’re leaving tonight.” You said, and felt Obi-Wan lean over your shoulder to look at the screen. Blast, why did you always feel as if there was an overwhelming force trying to escape the carefully locked insides of your heart whenever he’s near? You try to not turn your head to the side. Though part of you wanted to, just because he’s so close and maybe if you were living in a different time you could feel his lips brush over—-

“Ah. He enjoys making things difficult.”

“And he doesn’t know when to quit apparantly”

The chuckle that came from Obi-Wan then was the light of your darkest days. He moves away from you and places a hand on your shoulder as he looks down to you.

“I have to attend a meeting in a few minutes. But I’ll meet you at the landing platform tonight.”

“Right, see you later. And good luck.” You add casually and Obi-Wan gives you a look.

“You’re unbelievable.” He tells you with an amused smirk and walks away. And you can’t stop the grin that’s spreading on your face.

It was finally getting dark outside. The Coruscant skyline was illuminated by all the speeder lights for the famous nightlife the city has to offer. Sometimes you wonder how there even was a Jedi Temple on the planet being covered by infrastructure of a giant city. The only living Force being that of the millions of beings rummaging through the streets. From high class dealers, senators and officials to the lowest class scum, villainy and those living of scraps. The unfairness of this Galaxy always made you feel a very strong sense of injustice. Grabbing your lightsaber from your desk, and clipping it to your belt, you make your way to the landing platform. You already see Obi-Wan waiting for you. He greets you with a smile.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” He teases, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Hey I’m arriving at a perfectly reasonable time! But I also know how much you love to see me coming.” You tease back defensively and pat his arm gently as you walk past him to the speeder. You can’t see his grin as he shakes his head and follows you.

On your way to the Durasteel Den, you can’t get rid of the bad feeling in your stomach. Or maybe it was just because you were flying down the lower levels of Coruscant.

“Obi, Bane is smart, how do we know he’ll actually be there?” you ask then and glance at him.

Obi-Wan stays silent for a moment thinking about your words as he flies through the city. His brow furrow just slightly the way it always did when he was deep in thought.

“He’s smart, yes. But everyone let’s something slip sometimes. We can’t always be flawless.” He responds.

You give him a look. Because you were all too aware of Obi-Wan’s perfectionistic tendencies and how he beats himself up over every tiny single mistake.

“You know, that’s very ironic coming from you.” You tease him and can see the corner of his lips turn up. He glances at you.

“Oh so you think I am flawless?” He couldn’t help but tease back.

“No that’s not—“ you start but then shake your head and look away. “You know what i meant you kriffing nerfherder.”

He chuckles softly at your words and contiues to fly to the Durasteel Den. “Ofcours.” He awnsers then.

You try to ignore the fact you feel a little flustered. But you’re able to hide it. Like many feelings over the years. Because you weren’t supposed to feel like this as a Jedi. But maybe you did think he was flawless, was it that bad? You couldn’t help yourself and glanced at him again. With a look you only reserved for him, unknowingly. Though Anakin told you about it once. He could see the way you glanced at his former master whenever you thought he wasn’t looking.

Obi-Wan’s own faint blush was hidden by the darkness of the night- or rather covered by the different colored lights of the speeder-traffic.

Obi-Wan parked the speeder a block or two away as you continued to walk to the bar. Both of you putting the hoods of your robes up, you may not have been actually famous but you were both known around those who weren’t fond of Jedi. And unforutnately for you, that was almost a custom in the lower levels.

“Stay sharp, we don’t know if Bane has arrived yet but if he is, we can’t let him escape again.” Obi-Wan tells you as you approach the entrance.

“Hey, you know me, I’m observant.” You say smiling as you push through the door.

“Very.” He mumbles sarcastically rolling his eyes. You were observant, yes, but he also knew how easily distracted you’d get. But he wouldn’t admit to himself that the real reason he was sarcastic was because you somehow hadn’t noticed how his feelings for you were different from any other Jedi. Or friend. Or anyone for that matter. He forced the thought away as he walked in after you and saw you sit down at the bar. You had both agreed to split up, but to remain in sight. Since Bane would definetly recognize the both of you. He sat down a few chairs away from you as he glanced around the place. No sign of Bane. Yet. But there were many beings already. From all kinds of places in the galaxy, he presumed. Not knowing how long this night will be, Obi-Wan decided to order a drink.

You keep your hood over your head. You hated bars. They were crowded, loud and smelled awful. And too many different types of people were here, often with bad intentions. And the zabrak next to you was very clearly drunk as he swayed in his seat a little mumbling to himself. You couldn’t quite make out his words. But you also hadn’t noticed Cad Bane yet. He should be easy to spot if he was here. That damn blue alien, you think to yourself. You glance at Obi a few seats away from yours. The bar was curved which made it easy to glance to your right without obviously eyeing someone. But you shake your head when you watch a bartender give Obi-Wan a drink. Really? Already? Ofcours he would order himself a drink when we’ve been here for a minute. It wasn’t like he was alcoholic or anything, but the man did enjoy a drink every now and then. In your opinion, his choices of beverages were awful. He always enjoyed the strong stuff, like Avedame for example, though you shouldn’t be that surprised about that. The man drank black caff as if that’s how it’s supposed to be served. It worried you sometimes. Was it because of everything he’s gone through? Or was it just his terrible taste? Maybe both. You didn’t know. After a few minutes though you do order yourself a drink, Alderaanian ale. Mainly because it would’ve attracted too much attention if you didn’t. But you weren’t that opposed to one anyway.

After a while there was still no sign of Bane. And you grew incredibly bored. So bored you had ordered 3 drinks already, one of the 3 being Cortyg Brandy. After the first sip you decided you hated the taste of it and sticked to the Alderaanian stuff instead.

The bar had gotten more crowded, and you started to feel slightly hot after your second drink, so you pulled your hood down. You had noticed some dirty looks towards you, but managed to ignore them, you weren’t interested. Not that that mattered- you were on a mission. You did however have to tell some sleemo to piss off when he sat down next to you and placed a hand on your arm, and luckily he seemed drunk enough to oblige. Turning the glass on the counter of the bar trying to pass time, you glanced at Obi-Wan again. You weren’t sure how much drinks Obi-Wan had ordered. It was more than two. But you had lost count. Not that you were paying attention to him though, you had just noticed the bartender giving him his drinks. Is what you told yourself. No other reason. Though your glances became more frequent from the moment he had removed his own hood earlier. He was one of the nicer things to look at in this bar after all, you think as you take another sip of your drink and gaze at him. That moment you notice Obi-Wan looking directly at you. And you cringe at the thought of him knowing what you just thought of and look down at your practically empty drink. You’re a Jedi you can’t think about Obi-Wan like that. You know that. And have known that for a long time. Over the years your feelings for Obi-Wan hadn’t disappeared like you hoped they would. No. They only became stronger, more intens. Sometimes you wonder how you managed to even get knighted at all.

There was still no sign of that blast bounty hunter. Obi-Wan was starting to wonder if the information was even real as he tried to reach out to the Force and try to locate his presence. He didn’t. He did however, among all these different beings, with agendas he didn’t even want to know about, feel you. Your warmth. Your light and uplifting Force signature. Though it was a little off because of the drinks you’d had. Less obvious, but still impactful. Your tolerance was quite high, he knew that. But not as high as his. He supposed he’d build himself quite a tolerance for it over the years. Obi-Wan had spoken a few words with others, who looked approachable enough. But mainly open enough to give any information about Cad Bane if they had it. But he had no luck yet. And neither did you, he thinks as he watches you fumble with your 4th drink. He noticed you glancing his way quite a few times, but he didn’t think much of it. You were probably just bored and wanted to argue with him about something. He debated on just walking over to you, but decided against it when he had seen numerous shady beings walking around. They couldn’t risk exposing their cover. It would be too risky. So he ordered himself another Avedame.

After a while you almost wanted to just walk out and go home. It was no use, Bane was nowhere and he was never gonna show up anyway. But when you glanced at Obi-Wan again you noticed something. And it made your stumach twist in a way you hadn’t thought it could. There was a twilek woman suddenly sitting next to Obi-Wan. He didn’t seem too bothered by it. Obiwan was always the polite type, and rather good with words. Too good. And he was smart. And he always had those too witty comebacks of his that would drive you crazy. But the twilek was talking to him with a smile that screamed ‘I know you want me’. It makes your insides twist as you tighten your fingers around your drink. Obi-Wan smiled at her as they spoke. Though you told yourself he only smile because he was polite. But then the twilek’s hand was resting on his leg, as she moves closer to him too casually. She looks from his eyes to his lips and you quickly realize you want to vomit. So you glance back to Obi-Wan. And when you thought this couldn’t get any worse you see him lean in as he says something in her ear. You want to look away because you can’t physically sit here and watch Obi-Wan flirting with this twilek. It made you feel sick. But you couldn’t tear your eyes off of them as if afraid you’d miss something if you did. And you would have. You would’ve missed the way the girl wrapped her arms around his neck and oh so casually leaned into him when he placed his hand on her back. You weren’t the jealous type. You were never jealous. But oh how you could feel the Force around you start to change into enviousness. Grabbing your drink you finish it in one go. Why is Obi-Wan smiling at her? And why didn’t he hold you like that? Why was he so easily entranced by this twilek he didn’t even know, he’s never seen before, when you’ve been right there next to him for years? You thought that he cared about you, you know he did, you just thought that maybe he’d feel just a little more for you than this. You don’t even bother trying to hide your feelings in the force. You doubt he’d notice anyway since he’s so distracted by the woman. And before you knew it, her hands moved to hold his face and she pressed her lips against his. And you watch as Obi-Wan moves his hand to cradle her face as he kisses her back. Obi-Wan is kissing her. Obi-Wan is kissing someone that isn’t you. Disgust paints your features and you’re sure you’re about to be sick. And they’re not stopping. And besides disgust, jealousy and an enormous amount of envy, you feel something else. Your heart sinks to your stumach as you clench your jaw. Because you wish he’d kiss you like that… After a moment you stop the bartender and ask for an Avedame. Because you didn’t care about the taste right now, if anything it would be a good distraction. Obi-Wan had seemed to have found one…

After a minute or two you can’t take it anymore. They’ve been making out for two minutes at least and you’ve been forced to sit here and watch as Obi-Wan kisses someone he doesn’t even know when you’ve been dreaming of him kissing you for years. You hate him for it. Sometimes you hate being a Jedi. But you knew that if you weren’t, you never would’ve been brave to tell him anyway.. you finish your fifth drink of the night and it was one too many. Avedame really tasted awful. And you regret drinking it so quickly. But you notice the two nerfherder’s are finally done making out. The twilek caresses his face for a moment and you clench your jaw again. You watch as Obi-Wan says something to her and she pulls back and walks away. Obi-Wan turns back to the bar and looks at his drink before glancing at you. The force surrounding you feels like a haze of mixed feelings. Jealously, resentment, anger, hurt, remorse, insecurity, guilt all mixed up like a bottle of Corellian whiskey. You try not to drown in it. And it takes a moment for you to look away from him. Obi-Wan noticed. And for a few moments you look around the bar again, trying to get rid of your conflicted feelings. Until your eyes return to Obi’s seat. Which is empty. Why is it empty—where did he go? Oh. He must’ve followed that twilek somewhere else so they can—

“You seem distracted..” you hear a familiar voice beside you disrupt your thoughts and see obiwan sitting down next to you. You look down at your drink feeling a pit in your stomach.

“I’m not.” You say unable to hide the resentment in your voice. “You seem to be though.” You add bitterly.

He says silent for a moment, watching you swirl around your drink. “It’s that Avedame?” He asks then, slightly surprised.

“Possibly.” You mumble as you finish the last bit in one go. And cant help but wince. “I still don’t know why you like this—“ you start as you lean against the bar and look at the empty glass.

“Well i never-“

“Not that i have any idea of what you do like.” You hear yourself say before he could finish, your words slumbering together slightly because of the alcohol in your system.

But Obi-Wan is taken aback slightly. You were upset. He knew that. But why? Was this about the twilek girl he just kissed? Why would that interest you? He stays silent for a moment trying to pick a right way to respond because he suddenly felt bad. He decides that the truth would probably be best.

“You know me better than anyone.” You hear him say after a moment. He stated it rather simply. But you scoff and rueful smile crossed your lips. “I thought that too.”

Because you thought he’d never willingly kiss someone. You were foolish enough to hope that he’d one day kiss you of all people. But you always had wild fantasies. And apparently— unfortunatly this was one of them. The realization made you feel awfully heavy, even though you’ve known that dreaming of Obi-Wan being in love with you was foolish. He was the most devoted Jedi you’ve ever met. It couldn’t happen. But emotions were a fragile thing and hard to control.

Obi-Wan felt his stumach sink when he saw that rueful smile on your face. He’d upset you. He wasn’t sure why or how but he hated it. And he wished he could just turn you around to make you look at him, hold your face in his hands and let his thumbs trace every feature of yours. The thought made him realize he wanted to kiss you. Desperatly. Like so many times before. He needed to show you how he felt- but it goes against everything he believes in. And yet it was there. That feeling was always there somewhere, hidden away in his heart. A door which could only be opened by you. It was as if you’d stolen the key from him on one of those days where you were running away from him as a padawan because you’d stolen his lightsaber. Along with the key to his heart. And he hasn’t gotten rid of the yearning to know what it’d be like to remove the lock forever. He only felt more and more conflicted every time you’d greet him in the morning with that beautiful smile of yours, your uplifting presence and those eyes which would sweep him off his feet and he could drown him if he wasn’t being careful. Stars— he must’ve been a little more affected by his earlier drinks than he thought. Or simply by you.

“We should probably go—“ he said placing a hand gently on your upper arm because he couldn’t help himself.

“Can’t- have to wait for Bane.“ You say your head feeling slightly fuzzy as you move from your chair and start walking away. Away from Obi-Wan because you were too upset. You thought he would’ve chosen you. Like you would choose him if he asked.

“Hey wait—“ he said when you started walking- or rather stumbling away through the bar and he reached for your wrist.

“Let go Obi— Wan-“ your words slurred and you were getting annoyed as you look back at him.

“Listen we have to talk.” He said placing his hand on your arm again.

“Don’t wanna- talk.” You mumble as you turn around and away from him because the last person you wanted to talk to right now was Obi-Wan.

You hear him sigh as you move through a group of people. And faintly heard him call your name multiple times. You just needed to find Cad Bane and then you’d be able to go home. And sleep. And get rid of this headache you were suddenly getting.

“Sir have you seen a really ugly blue alien?” You ask a random person and the man turns around to look at you. “With an outstandingly big hat.” You add and and see a grin spreading on his face.

“Can’t say i have. What’s his name gorgeous? Maybe I’m able to help. But I’m more curious about your name.” The man said as he stepped closer and looked down at you. If you weren’t drunk, you would’ve spotted this red flag way earlier.

But when Obi-Wan finally spotted you he saw the man wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. And he felt his protective instincts rise in his chest. He hurried through the last group infront of him.

“Can you not— touch me-“ you say, clearly getting annoyed by this man but he seems to enjoy it.

“Don’t worry gorgeous, I’ll make sure you won’t want to think about anything else” he said pulling you closer.

“Let her go.” Obi-Wan said with a warning tone, standing behind you.

“Oh i see you have more admirers” The man said and you realized how drunk he was by the awful smell of his breath.

“You heard her she doesn’t want you to touch her. Now let her go.” Obi-Wan said again, and he’s refraining himself from grabbing his lightsaber.

“Will you both just shut up and leave me alone?” You say annoyed, tired of this entire night while you actually have an important mission. Cad Bane. Capturing Cad Bane. That’s what this night was about. You push away from the man as much as you can, but stumble back against Obi. Who was surprised but immediatly steadied you and place a hand on your waist. Normally you would’ve felt butterflies at the action. Now you just felt more irritated.

“I don’t think she likes you, sleemo.” The man said when he noticed your irritated look. And obi’s brow furrowed.

“She’s with me. Go buy another drink.” He told him and he realized you were walking away again.

“I can handle my own problems-“ you mumble towards Obi and see the two men glaring at eachother.

“For force’sake just leave us alone, I’m not interested-“ you say, your words still slurring slightly as you try to get away from Obi-Wan. And he lets you.

“Oh I don’t think so gorgeous-“ the man said when he reached for you again. And before Obi-Wan stepped towards you, you use the Force to throw someone else’s drink towards his head and it shatters, hitting his temple. Which is now bleeding. Obi-Wan pauses in his step. You apparantly were able to handle this without stepping in.

“Kriff—“ the man whined as he looked at you.

“Not interested.” You tell him again and then walk away. Not wanting to be distracted or held up by having to deal with idiotic men.

Obi-Wan had warned the guy again to not follow and he seemed to have taken the hint when he noticed his lightsaber around his belt. Then he turns to catch up with you. But you’re walking through the entire bar it seems like. He barely managed to catch up with you almost tripping over multiple people.

“Would you please just stand still and wait—“ Obi-Wan said as he reached for your arm again.

“No I’m looking for Bane while you’re busy with many other irrelevant things-“ you say until Obi turns you around and manages to grasp your wrist.

“We’re not going to find Bane tonight, now if you would please just listen—“

“I am.” You say are you turn away again because you were determined to find him tonight and end his crimes.

Obi-Wan grew slightly annoyed with your stubborness and sighed deeply. He whirled you around again and placed both of his hands on your shoulders. Forcing you to look at him.

“Listen to me, Bane isn’t here. He’s not going to be. He managed to find out his location would be compromised to the Order by one of his newer contacts. So he isn’t here.” He told you. And you managed to digest half of the information he told you, but it was clear Bane wasn’t here. And you grow more annoyed for some reason.

“Great so all of this was for nothing.” You mumble crossing your arms.

“No it wasn’t, we now know he wouldn’t be here in the first place, otherwise we could’ve only guessed.” He replied.

You stay silent for a moment as Obi-Wan looks at you. He’s a bit worried about your state. But didn’t mention it yet.

“How do you know?” You ask him then as you look back at his eyes. Those damn eyes of his were clearer than the oceans of Kamino.

“The twilek woman told me. She’s been in contact with someone who works for Bane and knew he wouldn’t be here. But she wasn’t any more helpful.” He told you, and if you weren’t feeling so drunk you would’ve noticed the way his expression changed for a moment.

“I bet you’d beg to differ.” You say bluntly as i glare at him. And he sighs.

“It was necessary. I do not understand why you seem upset about me kissing her.” He said and you wish you could punch him for his stupidity.

“It was stupid.” You state annoyed.

“Stupid?” He questioned.

“You never kiss anyone.”

“You’ve never seen me kiss anyone.” He corrects you and you want to crash his speeder for saying that.

“Did it actually upset you?” He asked when you stayed silent for a moment, and you hate the way his voice sounded genuinely concerned.

“I don’t care who you kiss. I just want you to be careful.” You say then and look away from him. “There’s many way to get drugged.” You add. it was definitely not an excuse.

“Ofcours..” Obi-Wan replied as he still looked at you. “So there’s truly nothing else bothering you?”

You look back at him then. And you wanted to scream at him how you felt. For him to feel the way you do when you see him smiling at you, holding your hand so neither of you get lost in crowds or when you saw him kiss that twilek. But you manage to stay silent. He’s a Jedi. You are too. It could never happen. It would never happen, because he didn’t feel the same. And he never will, not after so many years.

“I hate Avedame.” You say with a straight face. Obi-Wan can’t help his soft sigh.

“You’re drunk.” He states simply.

“A little.” You admit. And he shakes his head.

“We should go. There’s no reason for us to stay here.” He said then. You stay silent for a moment.

“Fine.” You mumble softly and start walking out the bar. Trying to get rid of the thought of what would happen if you did stay here. If you made a move. If you leaned closer to him and caressed his face. If you’d just lean in and kiss him. But he didn’t feel the same. He never had. You hoped he did. That maybe one day he’d confess how he felt all these years, just like the way he had in your dreams. Sometimes you let yourself foolishly believe that they were visions. But after years of being close it led to nothing other than friendship. You are grateful for it, but you desperately wished it could be more. But even though you were sure he was the only one you were ever going to fall for, the only one to ever love as deeply as this, you knew he only saw you as his friend. It could never be more.

[prettyboykatsuki]

ari now we gotta know who in bl would love maid cafes

the most true answer is niko. im tempted to say aryu too but not for pervert reasons he thinks the outfits are beautiful and the girls are lovely and pleaant. its glam as he says.

most of them arent super into it? they'd rather just see their gf in the outfit then go to a cafe. i think karasu will go cause he finds it fun once or twice. otoya likes them cause its cute. sendo too.

oliver thinks its funny but he would never go for a serious reason. you think nagi would but i dont think he actually does its a lot of hooplah. reo might. really turns on his rich boy suave thing there.

kurona but he can only be in there for five minutes. and nanase who also gets very embarassed and can only stand it for so long.

bachira likes it in like. a stan way. isagi thinks its fun but doesnt go seriously either. some cross between prince charming and super shy so the girls at the cafe really like him. he'd rather go to a cat cafe though.

sae would not go and neither would rin but for different reasons. sae just doesnt see a point and rin is so humiliated by the mere idea. i think his friends drag them in at least once.

chigiri does like them. i think its very possible he meets his girlfriend like this and he picks his favorite girl based solely on who he thinks wants to be there the least. he can do be so djkfhsdkj. he's very polite and respectful, always tips well, is generally very well loved there and has pictures with the staff. good for business.

barou has no interest but i think he probably gets dragged at least once. he doesnt like it but i can see him falling victim to crushing on someone working there and wanting to die over it. he has beef w the occupation bc the thought of his sisters doing something similar pisses him off. he also hates male host clubs tho. only willing to go a place with mostly female staff and male staff who ONLY work for security lmfao

yukimiya goes once. a bit like isagi but a lot more internalized awkward guilt about. karasu and otoya drag him and think its funny af.

pre wildcard kunigami went on a friends whims but thinks its weird otaku shit so he probably went w a friend who had that interest. thinks that even MORE post wild card.

gagamaru is very neutral about the ordeal but looks very funny in the cutesy cafe so the staff take photos with him. he wont protest it if someone else drags him (well... rlly it'd have to be his partner) but he would not find any reason to go himself ever and doesnt think about it.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

What're some Steph Brown moments you think should be talked about more?

Thank you sm for asking me this…

This one is actually really hard for me to answer because I think society should be talking about every stephanie brown moment all of the time. Additionally, I genuinely don’t think I can tell what moments w her are underrated anymore.

That being said I have made a list:

1. This Scene w Crystal in cataclysm

Robin #54

Really shows some extremely interesting parts of their relationship. This is like one of our first indications Crystal and Steph’s relationship might be on the mend. We get a look into how close they are despite their many issues. We have a minute where Steph jokes about Crystal blaming herself for the quake “too” implying Crystal often blames herself for things out of her control, which as I’m always discussing is a Stephanie Brown classic trait. The idea that this is something Crystal might do as well is so compelling to me. And throughout it all, we have Steph trying to protect Crystal, taking care of her, even tucking her in like a parent would their child. (Cough Stephanie brown parentification cough cough)

2. This panel from GK37. The way Batmans silhouette steps forward while Steph’s silhouette stands starkly still. The purple overcast sky with the flakes of snow (the whole weather/environment in gk37 kills me). The emphasis on ‘go to hell’ as after a comic of bargaining Steph finally comes to terms with the fact that she can’t rely on anyone else, that Batman going to her and telling her she could be something, that she could be good meant absolutely nothing to him. Amazing. Imprinted into my brain.

4. Steph’s conversation with Natalia about the stars in Robin 104. Gorgeous panel with an interesting look into Steph’s brain.

5. The Riddle scene in Robin 113, because I’m not smart enough to break down the Riddlers riddles and put together the implications which I assume are there and I want someone else to do it for me. Additionally, the lighting is absolutely gorgeous as we get to see Steph at this low point.

6. Robin #92, the scene where Bruce talks to Steph about the future, deeply unsettling her to the point that months and months later at the very start of war games she’s still thinking about it

7. The moment after Tim Drake’s birthday gaslighting bonanza where he commiserates with Steph abt getting tested by Batman. I’m imagining that he feels guilty for his role in her own test. For the record I’m hallucinating that guilt. I think it’s possible Lewis straight up didn’t know how Tim lied to Steph in Batman Family. But on the other hand the parallels to GK37 are insane and clearly there for a reason. Thinking about this lots. The repetition of “I know” vs “go to hell”. Their reversal of roles…I’ve already blabbed abt this on my blog but I’m still putting it here also bc I’m thinking abt it always.

Robin #120

8. All of GK22 as a reflection of how Batman’s loneliness post officer down is actually inextricably connected with his decision to sanction Steph as Spoiler. But specifically this scene because it makes me sick and ill and because it’s my header. Love the decapitated head side eyeing Batman.

9. Okay last one. One moment I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is Stephanie’s first interaction with Batman post War Games. Like the first thing she says to him after returning from her faked death is her essentially asking permission to patrol in Gotham.

Robin #174

Which is so fucking insane. She was unironically and genuinely spiritually broken by the events of war games. One of the very core tenets of her characterization, her willingness to be Spoiler no matter what regardless of the consequences, is fractured and entirely reversed. I have a lot of thoughts about this, and in general how post war games pre bg2009 Steph has healed physically but something big has clearly changed in her and not for the better. If you ask me, that period of time is stephanie brown at her lowest point. Will be posting abt this more eventually because writing this out has given me worse brain worms than normal.

Thank you so much for the ask again, sorry this took me a second I kept writing out way too much. I’m unfortunately a rambler at heart. Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these moments or other moments I missed.

[khazadaimenu]

I did a sort of a hc post about Fili and Kili mere hours ago and that kinda opened the flood gates within me.

Cause I literally live some of my internal life in that world and have story lines I wanna share. But don't want to bother with a fic.

So I'm just gonna blather on about it here for a bit. Isn't it what this platform is for? i kinda want to talk about this one thing.

Warning: it's a long post and it has mature themes. As well as very specific hcs that develop into an evolved AU from my head. So read at your discretion.

In short: it's about Fili and love

I mentioned a hc in another post that Fili goes from awkward older teen to fully fledged young adult in the space of one season.

That summer, he spends all his time blacksmithing and building walls with other dwarves in a village suffering from frequent orc raids.

We're talking all day every day. And he gets strong.

Like one of those movie scenes, you know, the ones where a character gets thrown into water and reemerges seemingly years later, all grown up and shit. The one from The Last Kingdom lives forever in my head.

So imagine same but with Fili. He's no longer a scrawny kid, but broad and muscly. Cherry on top? He gets a peltful of chest hair. All in one go. Like, there was none to begin with and now it's all just fur.

Imagine him emerging from a swim in a lake after a long hard day of labour. Beads of water glistening, the last rays of the setting sun reflecting on his skin. And it becomes a habit as of late August that year. The change in his physique very apparent by now.

Naturally, all the lads and lasses in the vicinity are enamoured. Giggling. Whispering. And surreptitiously pointing.

Which Fili doesn't mind. In fact, he welcomes it. It's a sort of respite from all the princely duties. He wants to be young and live a little.

Here I have to clarify that personally (I know there's tons of variation here, so no hate, this is just my slutty corner of the universe) I hc Fili as pansexual. He's happy to love and share joy.

I think there's a particular type of pressure that only Fili feels and Kili doesn't. Where he knows he's loved, but Kili is the baby and Fili's the heir. And that's reflected in his relationship with his mother, with Thorin, with everyone. So he needs somewhere to just... be carefree. And that's either hanging out with Kili or... looking for adventure. And he's good at it so it gives him a confidence boost.

And no hearts broken. Cause dwarves only do this kinda stuff before they find their One. Or some dwarves aren't inclined romantically, but still go for it physically. And then there's the ace dwarves who choose their craft only. Either way, infidelity doesn't exist in dwarven culture. You either love someone and forget everyone else exists. Or you know you'll never have a One. Or you're not interested completely.

Fili is actually not sure about love. He's not sure it exists for him. He has long chats with Nori about it, who is 100% sure about his own standing: here just to f*k. But Fili's not so sure.

And when he miraculously gets saved before getting killed by Azog (I'm getting into my OC and AU here, so bear with me) he becomes even more convinced. Cause if he wasn't meant to live, why would Mahal make a One for him in the first place?

So when he falls in love with his human saviour, it all kinda gets too much.

1) The responsibility to his people. To uphold the culture.

2) Is he even capable of love?

3) Kili's in love with an elf. Everyone wants a happy ending for him. But dwarves as a group still hold quite a bit of prejudice. An elf in the royal bloodline? Not so fast!

So Fili has to take the fall. Kili will be alllowed to marry if he and any future heirs forsake their claim to the throne AND Fili provides said heirs as staunch 100% dwarves.

Fili tries to object - he doesn't think he can find a One (while internally wrestling with his existing feelings, denying them, burying them and gaslighting himself into oblivion). But then Dis digs up an old law about those in royal lineages marrying without love just to produce heirs (based on some earlier Tolkien drafts where only the dwarven kings married and nobody else among dwarves). And now Fili is well and truly f*ked stuck between a rock and a hard place.

He can't imagine his life without Kili, so the option where Kili is exiled hurts like hell.

In the meantime, his human leaves. They have their own duty to fulfill. That triggers the revelation in him that they are in fact his One.

Which means, by getting into arranged marriage he will forsake one of the most sacred laws of dwarves - he will betray his One.

The thought is unbearable. He considers briefly ending it all. Not a serious thought, just something that comes out of sheer exhaustion.

Kili remains unaware. Fili can't do this to his brother - he is giddy and talking excitedly about his own future happiness once Fili's wedding goes ahead.

Being an heir sucks sometimes. Sucks majorly.

Fili decides to go ahead with a union Dis chose for him. All the while keeping his feelings hidden from everyone.

He doesn't believe he'll ever see his person of choice ever again. And they're not a dwarf. So is it really a betrayal?..

I'll share what comes next in another post, hopefully. If I have a spurt of inspiration.

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt.13

Anna shook you gently awake and you made a pout and a soft whimper escaped at the harsh reality break away from Sandor.

“The first house we see we’re going in it.” The man of your dreams spoke, already on his horse.

“Good morning.” You replied sarcastically, standing up and turning to face him, body still stiff from slumber. “And what if there’s someone inside the house?”

“That’s shit for him then I suppose.”

You barely had to help Anna onto her horse and afterward you began your approach to Stranger. “And if it’s a family? Don’t you think most single men are off in this war, dead or alive. We’re far more likely to come upon the family he left behind.” You proposed, securing your foot in the stirrup and attempting to smoothly mount Stranger with Sandor in the way. His hand graced your lower back as you swung your leg around and your heart beat quickened.

“Shit for them then.” He said as you adjusted yourself against his lap, and he tried not to let it excite him. You turned your head to look at him disapprovingly. “You don’t mean to just take someone’s home.”

“I do, and if they’re stupid enough to fight about it, I mean to kill ‘em.” He grinned, showing off his teeth.

You looked him up and down, mouth opening and shutting wordlessly before you turned around again with a sigh. What could you possibly say to him? Stranger began his stride away from the woods and you began to think.

Without turning around, you asked, “Do you really love killing?”

“That’s what they say, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s what they say… I’m asking what you say.”

“Yes.” He answered simply.

“Would you kill anybody?” “You’ve got someone in mind?” “Well no, I mean.. Anybody in a broader sense. Women, children, your family?”

“Suppose I already have.” Your heart sank at the thought.

“Would you do it again?..”

“If I need to… Anyone that stands against me must wish for death. And if we ever cross paths with my brother it’s my intention to kill him, or die trying.”

“You can’t say that.” You shook your head.

“I can and I will.” “Sandor we need you. You’re forbidden to die.”

He chuckled behind you. “Tell that to The Mountain. Even if he doesn’t have orders for it already, he’ll want to come teach his baby brother a lesson… If we cross paths with him I don’t think there’s anything you or I could say that would stop his cleaver coming down on my head.”

You cringed and turned slightly to catch a glimpse of him. “Has your brother always been evil?”

“What’s the start of all this anyways? Is this about that boy?”

“Boy?” The realization hit you as soon as the word left your mouth. “Charlie?” You faced forward again, uncomfortable with him seeing you all of a sudden.

“The one you love.” “I-“ you furrowed your brows and saw that Anna was listening to your conversation. “I do love him…” You said honestly.

“You’re wondering if I’d kill your boy if he’d got in the way.”

“I wasn’t… I try not to think about him at all, I’m sure you can understand that, being that you watched him die too.”

Sandor did not say anything for a long while and you tried to focus on the rolling hills to distract yourself. “Who was he to you?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and closed your eyes, concentrating your breathing. “He was a great man..”

“He was a boy.” You shook your head. “He was both.. He was brave and kind, and bratty and..” you smiled softly back at Anna when you noticed she must have been reflecting on her own memories of him. “And he lived a very unfair life, and he died a very unfair death because of me… He should never have come back for me.”

“Why did he come?” “He decided we were leaving; us and Anna. I’m not sure how much of a plan there was after that,” you smiled a little, “he was a servant who’d spent his whole life in King’s Landing— didn’t know anywhere else, but he had enough sense in him to leave and take the people that he loved with him…”

You contemplated why Sandor was asking about him, if not only to deter from talking about his terrifying brother. The one you love, who was he to you? He’s jealous. “It wasn’t romantic if that’s what you’re wondering… Though I suppose in the end it wouldn’t have mattered anyways, huh? He was too young to love, I thought… Though he must have felt it in some way because he saved my life over and over again.. The only things he ever asked of me were to keep living, and to grant him a kiss. I fulfilled one wish, I intend to make my life count for him too.”

You looked back at Sandor to see his mouth twisted into a confused frown. “It’s a love like the one I feel for Anna. Trust, compassion, connection, feeling like you want to care for each other, make them feel safe and loved. Haven’t you ever loved someone like that? Your mother, or a best friend?” ~Haven’t you ever loved someone?~

“No.”

The simple word felt piercing. You continued on as if you weren’t devastated that he could not comprehend the feeling. “It’s probably the only love I’ll allow myself to feel ever again.” You looked at Anna, who was still watching you, tight-lipped in disappointment. “It’d be much safer to never love again, but I think I have a great capacity for it. I will always have some sort of love in my heart for my family, my friends, you.”

You swallowed the anxious lump in your throat. “I meant it back then when I said it to you… I know you think I’m some stupid girl, with fantasies of knights taking up space over logic, but it was true then. I’d never felt anything that strongly before, so I know it was love… But once was enough. The consequences of my heart being so open were enough to have closed it up to that kind of love ever again… So thank you for giving me that opportunity, and thank you for saving me… I hope you can learn to trust me, and that we can be allies from here on out. No more grudges.”

After your speech went unanswered, you blushed and began to play with strangers mane. “And I’ll stop talking now..”

~

It wasn’t much longer before Anna spotted a house and drew your attention to it. The three of you slowed, and you looked to Sandor for direction.

“It’s good.” He nodded, dismounting. “Stay with the horses.” He instructed. “But—“

“I don’t know how I can make it any clearer, woman.”

He began his stride without ever looking back. Your nerves intensified the closer he got to the house. You twisted the reins in your hands and chewed your lip, glancing at Anna and praying the home was empty. Sandor entered through the front door, sword drawn, and to your horror, only seconds later you heard a woman’s scream. The children were the first to stumble out, their mother close behind them, looking like she’d seen a monster. Sandor must have been searching the house as the mother held her children close, cowering on the grass. “My baby, please! My baby!”

Her cries pushed you over the edge and as you saw Sandor emerge with his sword still drawn, you grabbed the reins tightly and kicked the horse to drive you forward.

“Stop!” You begged, hoping you could stop the horse as Sandor always had. Sandor turned to look at you in shock and his sword even dropped a little. Stranger stopped roughly and you clenched your thighs to hold on. You were breathless with fear but when you saw Sandor up close you watched him roll his eyes and his stance became casual.

“You have a baby in there?” You asked the woman, who was beet red and had tears dripping off her jaw. She held her kids, a boy and a girl, closer to her chest, but the boy tried to step forward.

“It’s my brother!” He tried to be brave, but you could see the fear in his eyes.

You looked to Sandor again for confirmation, and he blinked slowly, as if disappointed, and nodded. You heard very faint wailing begin inside the home and your heart sank.

“Please don’t hurt us! Please don’t hurt my baby!” The mother trembled in horror, pulling her son back by his shirt.

“We’re not going to hurt you.” You assured. “We’ve got to find somewhere else. These children won’t make it to any town.”

Sandor’s eyes scanned across your face and then the faces of the family, and the crying from within the home intensified. You withheld a huff and walked up to him, placing yourself between him and the children. “Please, Sandor. Let’s keep going.” You pleaded with your eyes. He sheathed his sword and took a step toward the home.

“We’re staying here tonight.” He looked at you sternly before softening. “They can stay too.” You breathed a sigh of relief and turned to them to offer a smile. “Come and shut that baby up.” He said when he disappeared from your view.

The mother rushed in and you signaled to Anna to come down. Grabbing Stranger’s reins to tie him to the side of the home, you were alarmed to find the little boy right behind you. “You gonna kill us?” He asked. He couldn’t have been older than 7 or 8.

“No, we’re—.. We just need food and a place to sleep. We won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt us.”

“Yeah well you better be gone tomorrow. That’s when my dad’s coming home, and he’ll slice the lot of you. He doesn’t care if anyone’s bigger than him, he’s not scared of anything. You’ll see tomorrow!” He threatened before running off to find his mother.

You weren’t sure whether telling The Hound about this threat would help or hinder your situation. It was still midday; you were sure you could find another home before sundown. Your stomach growled and you heard the sound of brutish hands rummaging about in the kitchen. Tomorrow, we have to be gone tomorrow.

You entered the small home with Anna and were hit with a wave of nostalgia for your own upbringing. It was humble, darker than you expected, with its windows all boarded up, but it had food and drink on display and a fireplace to keep warm at night.

“Excuse me, sir, th-that’s my husbands…” the mother spoke up, bouncing her child in her arms.

Sandor continued to chug down a bottle of liquor and when he pulled it from his lips he smiled. “He’s not here, is he? And we’re your guests… You’d do well to keep your trap shut or you can all take your chances sleeping outside.”

Part of you wanted to argue with Sandor, but an indecent part of you knew that he was right. Her husband wasn’t here, and any chance you had to stay out of sight and get food in your bellies would be stupid not to take. Sandor was being generous to let them be so close to us, knowing they could attack or report.

“Make us a meal, woman.” He commanded.

Her eyes held spite but she still handed the baby off to her daughter and entered the kitchen with him. You tried to distract yourself from the hostile situation by trying to put the girl at ease. She sat in a rocking chair by the cold fireplace and watched you like a hawk as you sat down across from her on the floor.

“You’re very good with him..” you commented softly, and she looked at the baby in her arms. “I never wanted a brother… My father stunk so bad sometimes I thought that was just the fate of all boys.” You looked over at Sandor, who was resting his feet on the kitchen table and leaning back with his bottle, watching the woman work. “I think that I was right.” You turned up your nose and made a face and when you looked back at her she was trying to conceal a smile. “But you’re already used to having a brother, huh? An older brother, right?”

She nodded shyly. “I bet he’s protective over you. That might be nice to have, even if they stink.” “Is that your brother?” She looked to The Hound. You smiled and shook your head.

“He’s my hero.. Like a knight but better. You see his armor?” She nodded. “It’s all dirty because of what he had to do to save me… My friend Anna and I were locked up by some very bad men, and he didn’t like that so he had to kill them. He doesn’t want to be scary and mean but sometimes that’s what has to be done. But he won’t hurt you; we’re just gonna go to sleep here and then in the morning we’ll be gone, okay?”

She seemed to be sorting through questions in her mind as she looked at you. “My father has to kill people. He only kills bad people though, people that want to hurt us.” “Is he fighting in the war right now?” She nodded. “Yes but mama says only for a little while longer, and then he can come home and meet the baby.”

You smiled softly. “What’s the baby’s name?”

“Robert.” “That’s a nice name—“

“It’s my father’s name.” The boy surprised you again, having come out of his room and stood behind you with his arms crossed.

“And your name?”

“Robert.” He furrowed his brows.

“All three of you?” You raised your expression in surprise.

“My name is Beth!” The girl chimed in drawing your attention again.

“Well I should hope so, you look a little too pretty to be named Robert.”

She smiled and bit her tongue to hold back a laugh.

“My name is (Y/n).” Beth’s eyes lit up and she gasped. “That’s my doll’s name!” “Shut up.” Robert said, clearly annoyed at how freely she was speaking to you now. “Take the baby!” She demanded, trying to stand up to hand him off. They argued like siblings until he rolled his eyes and took his baby brother, still glaring at you while Beth ran off to find her doll. “Here she is, (Y/n)! Isn’t she, mama, isn’t she called (Y/n)?!” She showed off her straw doll and the mother nodded at her with a nervous expression.

“Have you got a doll called Anna?” You asked, and Anna smiled. The little girl shook her head and you threw up your hands. “Well we’ll just have to make one then, won’t we?” The three of you raced outside and gathered as much straw as you could, dropped it on the table and crafted little dolls all afternoon. You asked Robert, still holding baby Rob, if he wanted to join you but he sneered. “Dolls are for girls.” “We could make one a soldier, like your father?”

He shook his head and walked away. None of you minded much, though, and you felt true happiness teaching Beth how to give her doll a skirt. You felt like a child again. The mother called for supper and you all cleared the table. You told Beth that she could have her chair back, but she insisted on sitting with you. The two of you shared the same seat, Sandor sat at the head of the table, the son across from you and Anna at your side. The mother went off with her baby into the bedroom to nurse and you tried to ignore the tension between Robert and Sandor as you ate. Beth pulled you by your neck down to whisper loudly in your ear. “He’s better than a knight?” She asked, and you blushed knowing the everyone at the table could hear. You nodded and looked at Sandor, willing him to be kind. Beth hopped off of the chair and brought her dolls to Sandor, holding them out to display. “This is (Y/n) and this is Anna.”

Your nails dug into your palm anxiously and you held your breath waiting for his response. Please be kind, please be kind.

Sandor looked at the sweet little girl’s face, and then at the dolls, taking them in his hands.

“They’re pretty.” He complimented, surprising you. “Can I keep this one?” He asked, pulling the doll with your name close to his chest. Beth quickly tried to snatch the dolls back and said, “No!.. If you want one you can have the one I messed up on.” He gave the dolls back and she rushed over to the living room to offer him the doll with one big arm and one small. “She hasn’t got a name so you can call her whatever.”

“Think I’ll call her Beth.” He nodded and her mouth gaped.

“My arm’s not messed up!” “No, but she’s about as big as you.” He joked and she smiled and skipped back over to your seat. She nodded at you and said quietly. “He’s funny.” “Sometimes.” You agreed, pleased with him.

“And smelly.” You smiled harder. “I think we’re all smelly.”

“Oh Robert, the hole!” Beth cheered, and Robert shook his head. “Yes!” She continued.

Anna and you exchanged curious looks.

“Father said not while he’s away.” “He’s been away, Rob! I’m asking mother.” She defied and ran off to her mom.

“What’s the hole?” You asked. Robert remained silent, glaring in Sandor’s direction.

“If you’re not gonna eat that, boy, you might as well take your sneer somewhere else.” Sandor grabbed meat off Robert’s plate and threw it onto his own.

“She said yes, she said we can go!” Beth came barreling down the hall. “Go where?” You frowned.

“The water hole! It’s not that deep and I can teach you how to swim, I’m really fast.”

“Beth, they’re big. They can just stand up, you idiot.” She stuck her tongue out at her brother and took your hand, and you in turn grabbed Anna’s to follow you. “A-Are you coming, Sandor?” You looked back as you were pulled away. He only looked down at his food. Beth led you for a long while and with each step you grew more and more anxious having left Sandor behind. “How much further is it?” “Just a little bit more.” She assured. Anna seemed to be unbothered, so you tried to relax as well. Finally you saw it. A beautiful pool of blue water crafted by stone. “Father built it when I was still in my mom’s tummy. It’s never cold!” She said excitedly. The little girl practically jumped in the water and eventually convinced you to brave it as well. Your main concern was your dress— you had no other clothes. But when Beth pouted up at you and splashed, you conceded. The two of you pulled Anna in as well and splashed around until the sun was nearly set.

The three of you began your journey back, Beth falling behind until you agreed to carry her on your back. “You think everything is alright back there?” You asked Anna, who gave you a less than convincing nod. As you marched on, you tried to focus on the feeling of the little girl resting on your back. You and your sister were close when she was this young, and it made you want to travel back in time to be with her like this. Or travel forward, you pondered. You considered what it would be like to have a daughter.

Duty would pull you to birth a son, an heir to a noble, and you had truthfully never considered for long the possibility of having a little girl of your own. You remembered your vow to never take another man, and sighed. Maybe in another life. Then you thought harder. You had consummated your marriage to Sandor. You had bled since then, but only for a day— highly unusual for you. Panic began to set in. At last you came upon Beth’s mother, waiting right outside the door with her child asleep in a cloth tied around her torso.

“What’s wrong with her?!” She worried, but you set her daughter down off of your back and she stumbled to find her footing.

“Nothing, she’s tired s’all. Thank you for trusting us, she had a lot of fun, I think…”

Beth rubbed her closed eyes and walked over to take her mother’s hand.

“Is everything alright in there?” You asked nervously.

“Seems to be… Have you got any other clothes?” She looked between Anna and you and you shook your heads shamefully. “Come on then.” She sighed.

She tucked her daughter into a large bed and began to dig through a dresser beside it. “Don’t have anything as nice as that..” she trailed off, and you shivered.

“Dry is all that matters to us.”

She handed you and Anna simple dresses and the two of you went outside to change. When you entered the home again you saw Sandor, bottle still in hand, but he had removed his armor and chainmail. “Must you drink all of her husband’s alcohol? She’s been kind to us…”

“She’s been compliant.” He argued. “Do you think she’d welcome us in if I didn’t have my sword? She’s afraid of us— of me at least.”

“Not everyone is cruel, Sandor.” “Aye, not everyone is cruel. But everyone is looking out for themselves. She’s got a family, she’s not gonna risk that for strangers. Make no mistake about it, it’s not kindness that keeps us in this house.”

Perhaps he was right.

“We’ll leave in the morning, yes?”

He thought for a moment. “Yes. We’ll have another long ride ahead of us…”

He approached you and you tried not to flinch when his hand came up to your face. It wasn’t out of fear, only surprise. His fingers stroked down a small lock of your wet hair right beside your cheek. Is he drunk?

“How was the water?” He asked, fingers lingering by your neck, knuckles barely brushing against your throat. Your eyes were wide at his actions, at the stark change in his tone, but you didn’t want him to stop the sweetness. “It was perfect… You should have come…”

Sandor was so close now that you could smell the booze on his breath but you did not cringe away from it. He tucked your hair behind your ear and laid a heavy hand on your shoulder. He took a step back, took another swig, and smirked. “Look like a proper mother in that dress.”

You smiled, embarrassed. “It’s the dress of a proper mother.” You picked up the sides of the dress and twirled it a bit. “What, you don’t like it? You prefer me dressed like a harlot?”

He took one more step back, smiled and scratched his beard. “Never seen you in anything I didn’t like… except maybe that sack of potatoes.”

You snickered and shoved past him. “Wait.” He grabbed your arm and you stilled. “You said you can keep watch?”

As tired as you were, you were pleased with this new responsibility— this new trust, and so you nodded.

“Keep a watch on that little fucker right there.” He nodded to Robert, who was sat on a chair in the corner, holding a large wooden rolling pin. You tried not to snicker at how serious the little boy looked. “Think he means to bash my skull in.”

“We wouldn’t want that.” You nodded again, and placed your hand over his on your arm. “Get some sleep.”

With that, he swayed off to Robert’s room and you heard the bed sink and creek with the weight of him flopping down on it. Anna started up the fire with fresh wood and the two of you sat up taking turns brushing through each other’s hair. You watched Robert doze off in the corner of your eye and smiled to yourself as the rolling pin dangled in one weak hand. Anna pulled some blankets from a cupboard and made herself a cot on the floor, falling asleep just as quickly as her head hit the ground.

You watched the fire until your eyes burned and then found one of the straw dolls you had made earlier that day. A child. Could it even be possible for you now?

“What are you doing here?” Came a voice, startling you into a gasp. “Gods!” You whispered, relaxing once you laid eyes on the mother. “You scared me…” you let the doll rest again on the table and walked back over to the fire. “I’m just keeping watch..”

“Someone hunting you? The royal guard, perhaps?” You hoped your anxiety didn’t reflect in your expression. “Never can be too careful..”

“That’s The Hound, isn’t it?” She approached, settling into her rocking chair, the baby still swaddled in her arms. “Face half melted… The King’s mad dog, now without a King.”

“You’re mistaken. We’re just passing through… I’m sorry we had to stumble upon you, we’ll be gone in the morning. Your son’s already told me you’re expecting your husband back and we don’t want—”

“My husband isn’t coming back.” She cut you off, eyes glazing over when she cast them to the fire. “He was sick… Getting worse every day. Nothing I knew to do was helping.. Robert left months ago. He said he didn’t want the children to watch him die, weak. So he told the children he was going off to fight in the war. A war that didn’t exist.” You glanced again at Robert to make sure he was still sleeping. She looked behind her at her son and sighed. “He misses his father every day. He’s the man of the house now, acts tough, but I know he’s scared. Today, he was scared… But you have control over him now, don’t you? The Hound?”

You furrowed your brows and shook your head a bit. “Nobody controls anybody.”

“Where are you heading?” You said nothing, only watched the shadow of the flames flicker on the floor.

“You don’t have to leave…” She surprised you. “I don’t want my son to be afraid anymore.” Her voice wavered. “He ought to grow up with a man, a proper man around. We need someone to hunt, to fix things… Beth adores you, I haven’t seen her smile like that in so long.. If you’re running from someone, you’ll be safe here. No one comes around.” She tried to persuade you. “You can settle here..”

You were so caught off guard by this conversation, you didn’t know what to say. She was asking you and Sandor to play house with her family.

“I understand your worries.. as much as I can… I think we have to be moving on though.”

She nodded and the two of you continued to sit in silence deep into the night. At one point, the baby stirred and she began to feed the child from her breast. “Did you know he was sick before you were pregnant?” You asked boldly. “No… He wanted to be in his life, but he got bad fast.. It’s the only time I’ve had to go through it alone. Bringing this baby into the world was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

You nodded. “Your first two were easier?.. Not too painful?”

Her brow furrowed and she smirked. “Oh, very painful… But worth it.”

You nodded again, looking down at your lap.

“I saw the blood in your clothes… Is that what you’re worried about?.. Did he take you?”

You shook your head and smiled softly. “No, no, he… Well, yes.. I don’t know how long it’s been.” You tried to reflect. “I started bleeding long after the last time, but it was different.” “How much blood?” She sat up, more invested in the conversation now.

“Same as always for the first day, but that’s all that it was. It just stopped.”

“Are your breasts sore?”

You shook your head but reached up and squeezed them to ensure you weren’t crazy. “No… I’m hungry though, and my mother said she knew she was going to have my sister when she bled for just a day.”

“Sweetheart, that bleeding is different. It’s very light, very light cramping, and you’re more tired than hungry.”

“Well I have been tired—“

She smiled knowingly and shook her head. “You’re not pregnant… Your bleeding likely stopped from stress, malnutrition.. You’re tired and hungry because you’ve been riding horseback for who knows how long. The Gods only give us what we can handle, child…”

You frowned at her but nodded just to dismiss the conversation. “You seem disappointed..?” She said, but you shook your head again. “Would you want a child?”

“I always knew I was supposed to have one, or two… That was my purpose; marry a nobleman and give him children— raise the standing of my family. It never really mattered if I wanted one or not…” You looked up at her. “After everything I’ve been through my answer should be no. It should be simple. But it isn’t..” you felt your emotions rise. “I think I would.. I think I do… It could be beautiful y’know, to bring something so small and good into this world.”

She nodded. “Would you want his child?”

A tear slipped down your cheek that you hadn’t even realized was brewing and you wiped it away and rolled your eyes at yourself. “It’s not like that anymore.”

“You’re not married?” She asked, and your head snapped right to her. “Did he—“

“He said you were his wife… I didn’t believe him until I saw the way you looked at him just before bed.”

“There is nothing in the way I look him.” You were stern. Never again would you be persecuted for having hearts in your eyes. “As you say.” She didn’t argue and you were grateful. ”You should rest.” You suggested, and she sighed and stood.

“Will you ask him about it? About sticking around?” She paused before rounding the corner into the room with her daughter. You agreed, dismissing her with a wave. When she was gonna you took a deep breath and laid back against the floor, hands on your empty stomach. You considered the safety the home might provide, the charm of the children, and the rest that Sandor and the horses so desperately needed. Maybe one day more.

Sandor watched you from the dark room and sank back down in the bed. It’s not like that anymore, you had said, but it could be, he thought.

[weatheringandweary]

The “Jason died to teach Apollo empathy” take reallllly bothers me, because… no..? That’s not what happened..??

Ignoring the fact that Apollo was willing to take his own life minutes before in an attempt to save Meg, Piper, and Jason - he’s been putting his life on the line for others since THO.

You can make the argument that the only reason he went after Kayla and Austin was because they were his kids if you want, but even throughout The Dark Prophecy he was willing to die if it meant saving someone else. He went out of his way to save Lityerses despite the fact he was his enemy, he straight up admitted to Trophonius that he was willing to die for Meg even though she betrayed him for Nero in the prior book, and then he went back to fight for the Waystation with a broken arm because they went through so much effort in supporting him through his trials. It’s actually baffling just how easy it is for him to fall in love with humanity, it’s not something he had to learn!

Jason had stuck his neck out for Apollo in BOO because he saw injustice. He knew Zeus was looking for a scapegoat and he used what little power he had against the king of the gods to try to spare his half-brother. Jason knew that even though he had been nothing but loyal to the gods and had saved the world twice over (cough cough fighting a titan bare handed and defeating Gaea alongside the seven cough cough), he was still just a cog in the system. He was only mortal. The most change he could make to the status-quo was ensuring that the other minor gods were represented in Camp Jupiter, but then he was issued a death sentence months later, so what power did he have really?

But you know who could make a difference?

Apollo. Apollo could.

The thing is, as much as Apollo complained about being a mortal, I honestly believe he would have rejected godhood had Jason not died. He had almost died several times over and the only one who offered him any Olympian assistance was his sister. He resented the Olympians for having all the power in the world and choosing to use none of it to help him or his friends. Apollo's biggest fear - one that overruled dying in my opinion - was becoming a god again, once again a puppet of his father, and falling back into his old ways out of fear and self-preservation.

I can't even count the amount of times where he was on the brink of death and felt relief and satisfaction at the thought of everything being over. He didn't want to die, but it was an escape from having to one day stand up against his father, his abuser. It was the easier alternative even if it was ultimately the worse one.

But Jason made him promise to keep going. To remember.

He had to get back to Olympus, remember all that has been sacrificed in order to return him to godhood so that he could make a better future. He has to live forever to ensure that generation after generation of demigods have someone supporting them indefinitely. So that they would not be as fearful and powerless as he was. He has to be immortal again so that he can use his power for good, as much as that scares him.

He had to become a god so he can look Zeus in the eyes and say "No, this is never happening again."

That's what Apollo learned.

[emotionalhottiee]

Whole Again ❤️

Jimmy Uso/ Jonathan Fatu

This is the conclusion to Broken

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise stated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events in this fanfic are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Warning: 18+ (This content may include explicit material).

Before i knew it we were back at Jon’s condo. And ever since we stepped out of his car, we have been inseparable. Our lips only coming apart to press elevator buttons and open doors. I know that this sounds crazy… But i feel whole again now that we are together. He was made for me.

We reached his door FINALLY. Our lips came undone to allow Jon to unlock his door. He seemed as if he was a bit nervous the way he was fumbling with his keys. It was honestly so cute to watch.

As he held the door open, i walked over towards his leather couch. As much as i missed him, there needed to be a conversation.

Jon was standing by his front door messing with something before he made his way over to the couch. Walking right in front of me, he bent down so he was literally hovering over me. He leaned forward to kiss me again, but i put my hand up abruptly stopping his lips from touching mine. A confused look arose of his face as he moved over to the right of me sitting on the couch, but turning his body so that he was facing me. “We need to have a conversation about the infidelity before we can just move on as if nothing happened.” I stated calmly. Trying my best to get through what was going to be an emotional talk.

You can do this.

“I hadn’t imagined being able to forgive you. Because watching you fuck someone else, in the same bed you fuck me. That killed me inside Jon”. I murmured avoiding eye contact. “And then where’d you go? Chasing a new piece of ass, instead of calling me”. “Your future wife” i threw my hands up doing a very aggressive air quote. Because that is what he always called me. “You cheated and then you moved on as if i meant nothing to you.”

I came undone. As much as i tried to hold back the tears, but they couldn’t be contained any longer as they were steadily falling down my face.

No longer being able to avoid eye contact Jon placed his fingers gently under my chin, lifting my head up until i our eyes met for the umpteenth time tonight. “What happened with that girl meant nothing to me”. My heart was pounding out of my chest. “I made a mistake that i have regretted ever since” he stated his eyes looked past all of my tears, deep into my soul. Sending a wave of chills down my spine.

It is insane how this man, can make me want to apologize to him for the things he did wrong.

I hate to admit that he had the kind of power over me. But he simply did. And then came those words that i had longed to genuinely hear for 5 agonizing days. “I’m Sorry”. He stated his voice deep, but soft for me. He kept lookin into my eyes, pleading to me without saying another word. Crazy how two little words can mean so much. Causing you to forgive even the most hurtful things imaginable. With a simple apology. The pain and hurt and betrayal i had been feeling for the last 5 days, slowly started to vanish.

God i hate how much i love this man.

But he is my true weakness. How can i stay angry at the person, who brings me so much happiness? Why would i? Life is all about forgiveness right? Aren’t you supposed to forgive those who hurt you?

Throughout my internal conflict Jon never took his brown eyes off of me. I saw all the sincerity i needed to see in those eyes. He reached his finger up to my eyes wiping the last of my tears. Before returning his gaze to mine. “I never meant to hurt you Kenzi. I promise it was a terrible mistake that will never happen again”. He said lovingly while he pressed his forehead against mine.

Bringing my hand up to his beard in awe of those facial features that adorned his face. “I forgive you Jonathan” i said calmly again, because i genuinely did. Nobody will understand why it is so easy for me to forgive this man. And it’s simply because i need this man perhaps more than i need my own supply of oxygen. As unhealthy as that sounds my obsession with him is truly that deep.

We exchanged a few more passionate kisses. Whispering sweet nothings to each other in between. As Jon got off the couch first. His towering 6’3 frame bending down in front of me once again. But this time he was scooping me up into his arms as if it were nothing. Our faces coming back together as he carried me into his bedroom, with my legs wrapped around his waist.

I noticed the brand new bed set on his king sized bed. And a small smile crept up on my face. “Im glad he changed the sheets”, i thought to myself relived that he didn’t have those same sheets from his past transgressions.

He laid me down on the king sized bed and he placed a trail of kisses from my cheeks down to my neck. “I love you so much, little mama” he whispered into my neck know that would send me into a frenzy. “I love you too baby” i whimpered back softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he took his large hand gliding it down my body, until he came in contact with my the silver button of my boyfriend jeans.

Sitting up on his knees, he freed up his other hand to slide my jeans down to my ankles, before tugging them off of my body completely. He did the same with my crop top shirt freeing my bra-less boobs from them. I sat myself up on my elbows to watch him. As he stared at my almost naked body, biting down on his bottom lip allowing me to only see the top row of his pearly white teeth. Rubbing his hand over my Fenty boy shorts he smirked feeling the wetness he had cause through my panties. “You missed Daddy didn’t you?” He asked his smirk never leaving his face. All i could do was nod my head, as he inserted his middle finger into my center. I let out a whimpering moan. As he knelt down only nesting his face in my neck to slowly pick up the pace. “FUCK” i let out as my hands tried holding on to the sheets. He placed kisses on my neck knowing his was going to insert another finger. I squeezed my self ever so tightly feeling the added finger. He kept a steady pace as he bought his face up to mine. Telling me he loved me before placing a kiss on my lips.

He knows what he’s doing to me.

I let out a barrage of my moans, as i came on his fingers. He just looked at me grinning from ear to ear. As he pulled out his fingers now covered in my juices. He stood up from the bed, stripping himself of his clothes until he was left in only his boxers. He came back down to me kissing me as he slowly pushed my body flat onto the bed. Planting a trail of kisses as he made his way down to my thighs.

He was unusually quiet, which to me was a sign he was focused. He finally removed my panties after what felt like an eternity. Coming face to face with the pussy that belonged to him. He kissed me on the insides of each thigh before he kissed my vagina. My hands found their way to his hair that was brushed into a bun. Taking out the rubber band that kept it together, so that i could run my fingers through his beautiful curls.

He made out passionately with my vagina, moving back and forth between my opening and clit never missing a beat. At this point my hands embedded in his curly hair pushing his face into my glistening pearl, as i did that Jon took it as a sign to insert his tongue into me. Bringing one hand up message my clit while sliding his tongue in and out of me. feeling me near the edge. He removed his finger from my clit, going back to using only his mouth. He moaned into my pussy instructing for me to cum for his and i gladly obliged.

Making sure to clean me up, with his with tongue, he bought his face back to mine. Kissing me passionately with what was left of my juices that remained on his lips. He slowly rose back to his knees, then off of the bed to his feet to remove his final article of clothing, his boxers. Freeing that big beautiful brown dick of his that was swinging back and forth.

He climbed back in bed, coming down to me, until i felt his entire frame over me. Kissing me once more. All this passion he was giving me had made my knees weaken. He looked me in my eyes in between kisses as he inserted his fully erect penis into me. Both of us letting out of moan of pleasure. Him from feeling my warmth tighten around him. And mine from feeling the dick that i was in love with, enter me again after what felt like forever. I bought my legs up to wrap around his waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. As he feed my pussy stroke after stroke. I dug my nails into his skin as he move one arm to separate my leg slightly allowing him to dig his deepest so that his dick could kiss my cervix.

Trying not to make him bleed from my scratching i opted to move my hand back to his luscious curls, that were now all over the place. While my hands were roaming through his hair he placed his forehead against mine. Signaling to me that he was inching closer to a finish. As was i. He whispered another sweet apology followed by him confessing his love for me again.

Locking our eyes together again. Was enough for me to release all over his member as he groaned against my lips. Waiting for me to ride the last wave of my orgasm. He released his load inside of me mixing all of our juices together inside of me. While getting out his final strokes. He laid on top of me trying to catch his breath. I slightly turned my head towards his as i ran my fingers across his soft back.

He planted a soft kiss on my lips as he rolled off me. I took this as an opportunity to go to the bathroom and get myself together. Before finding one of Jon’s large tshirts to put over my naked body. Laying back in bed, he pulled me to him so that we were skin to skin leaving absolutely no room in between us. He softly let out one last “I love you little mama”, before shutting his eyes. I stared at him while caressing his face. Simply responding with an “I love you too Jonathan”. He smiled eyes still shut as we held each other before drifting off to sleep.

This is where i belonged.

[tev-the-random]

"Aw man, what are they gonna do with Shadow now that he got his closure with Maria's wish and everything? What sort of story can he possibly have after that?"

*points frantically at Sonic 06*