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#calling all kids next door
ruthlesslistener · 1 year
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People are so needlessly fucking hostile to teenagers for no good reason. I promise you that a few 14 year olds riding their bikes in an empty lot aren't going to ruin your day, you fucking freak
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coffinshippingluvr · 1 year
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even if you don’t know falsettos I’d love to see u vote based on their names💀💀💀
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thecampbellclub · 3 months
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i need some drunk sad hughie on the edge of the gun after robins death for morale boost
#hughie campbell#he would be standing there in a haze holding her arms#for hours because he won’t let anyone take them#he won’t say what happened because he can’t comprehend it#his favorite hero as a kid just killed his future wife and his mind is shattered#the ambulance is called for hughie and his father comes#hugh is the only one who can get through to his son#but even then#hughie won’t let go of her arms until his dad physically tears them from his hands#and hughie collapses and his dad scoops him up#they take him to the hospital but he’s clealyy in severe shock#so he’s not speaking at all besides small whispers and sobs that are intelligible#when hugh takes him home he just wants to go to bed but hugh is concerned hughie may hurt himself#which isn’t incorrect#he leaves the door open and in the middle of the night sort of comes to#and he can’t handle it#he can feel her blood under his fingernails#even though they’d practically scrubbed him clean at the hospital#so he raids the liquor cabinet#like he’s a child sneaking booze from his parents#his dad finds him the next morning still hammered beyond belief and sick over a bowl he dragged from the kitchen cabinets#hugh isn’t sure how to help so he just sits by his son and rubs his back as he’s sick#because what are you meant to do when that happens to your son?#hughie clings onto his dad and scream sobs until he finally finally begins to feel the claws of exhaustion weighing on him#he sleeps on the sofa for the forserable future because everything reminds him of her#and hugh feels safer knowing hughie is in eyesight and not behind a door in the hallway where it’s less obvious to know if hughie is safe#hugh takes to sleeping in the love seat by the sofa to keep an eye on him#hughie knows what he’s doing and appreciates it but he can’t help but feel like a burden#i’m gonna perhaps write this
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thinking about nora again
#fallout#okay first of all her full maiden name is lenore dubrovhsky#she's somehow related to the russian diplomat who is the grandfather of natalia dubrovhsky#maybe his niece? idk but she immigrated to the us after meeting nate during his tour because she claimed she was IN LOVE#i imagine she was in her late teens and nate was in his early 20s#and she falls for him and he promises he'll help her with going to college in the US and they'll have an equal marriage yadda yadda#so they get married and nora becomes a lawyer#so they've been married around seven years and she's doing her training as a legal secretary when oops! she becomes pregnant#(nate sabotaged her birth control but shhh she doesn't know that)#so nate persuades her into putting her career on hold just for a little while until they can start putting their son in daycare#(shaun takes heavily after nora's side of the family to the point nate jokes about whether his DNA had any say at all)#(he also later joins the army and dies in action)#so nora's being kept at home all the time. taking care of the kid. cooking all the meals. cleaning the house. barely any time for herself#and she gets so frazzled she gets into a minor car accident while taking shaun home from the doctor#nate freaks out and confiscates her car keys so now she can barely get out of the house without him on her arm#barely any adult social interaction and any family she could have had keeping her company was all the way over in russia#so she has a quickie with a door-to-door salesman and when her next kid pops out with red hair#the lack of resemblance to nate stops being funny#he agrees not to leave her but says he can't trust her at home alone anymore so he gets her a job at shaun's elementary school as a teacher#this happened around when shaun was 11 and he's harbored a hatred for his mom and his sister ever since#nate promised to raise the girl like his own but he's distant with her which rubbed off on shaun#so the girl. i'm calling her annabelle. TOTAL mommy's girl. wants to be just like her#so when shaun's seventeen he fakes his enlistment papers so he can be enlisted early and dies in combat#i imagine nora misses the baby boy she raised and is utterly upset he turned out this way#and by 'this way' i mean i imagine him as a patriotic misogynist and nora does not hold kind feelings towards the US for various reasons#nate was proud of his son for dying for a cause he believed in#so when annabelle's six nora gets pregnant again and that's when i imagine the bombs drop#the school nora works for is a really privileged private school (nate comes from old money) and that's where the cryo pods come in!#i imagine it would be like a 'saving america's youth for a brighter tomorrow' thing idk#also the day the bombs dropped nora killed nate before heading off to work. woulda been totally caught had the bombs not dropped HEYOOOO
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Y’all ever try to think of a romantic pairing idea and it’s just like “oh. oh no. one is going to kill the other”, for me rn it’s:
Human worker who has been running a small department solo because everyone else quit awhile ago due to the very picky Vulcan inspector who keeps sending projects back with very specific specifications, and has been doing it happily because they like working alone, suddenly has to deal with the Vulcan inspector who is now communicating with them in person instead of email
And very picky Vulcan inspector who is surprised (*cough* happy *cough*) to have someone who consistently reaches their high standards, feels comfortable barging in to their workplace at all hours to talk shop
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unproduciblesmackdown · 11 months
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though i eventually got to read some, in earlier years goosebumps books would be the kind of series where i'd just ponder the cover art, and i always liked the drama of the monster blood illustration (the lighting/colors....sure nothing's happening in it but i felt it evoked the drama of "what if you're downstairs and something's upstairs" much like "what if you're upstairs and something's downstairs") like well too bad i guess i never got around to reading i at the time. but as of a recap yesterday i'm surprised to now be at least 90% sure i read part if not all of it, and thinking i hadn't may be due to how kind of nothing happens in it
#absolutely nothing familiar until ''there's a dog named trigger & the kid at one point has to rescue trigger from choking'' like Aha#for sure still remember various Events & Details from gb books i Know i've read....#welcome to dead house; the ghost next door maybe my most well absorbed ones lol. lot going on in those definitely#let's get invisible. some choose your own adventure varieties. calling all creeps. oh the haunted mask ofc; all time classic....#definitely hadn't read the phantom of the auditorium; reading it as an adult was a delight#things on the other side or the middle of the stairs it's just like skinamarink heck for real#itself like well that's absolutely the horror of being kids if not ''kids' horror'' lol#but that aspect is always inherently present in kids' horror...always surrounded by mysteries & lack of power/autonomy & fairly isolated...#anyways had a parent whose Disapproval Mode could be set off by various media available to kids my age so that was a minefield#(same parent thought it was inappropriate for some tv 14 rated programs to be available in a house solely ft. adults so there you are)#at least at first was of the ''horror for children?? inappropriate'' approach about it. i didn't check the books out of libraries ever#but eventually must've calmed down abt that b/c we Did own some & that's how i read most of ones i did#too late i was always a kid intrigued by / seeking out horror materials....john bellairs books which got pretty wild....#much less so as an adult b/c horror gets worse (& not in any good way) aimed for teens / adults like lord. You Do Not Get It#anyways turns out monster blood is probably riffing off the blob mostly but it's like not thee blob until way later#so most of the book wouldn't really be that memorable if it's 80% ''and then here was another weird thing abt the gunk''#but i would remember like oh no the dog is in mortal peril :( nooo trigger (trigger was fine)#sure didn't misremember that in welcome to dead house the dog went missing & was implicitly killed over Sensing The Deadness#appreciated that element in phantom of the auditorium where they're hanging out at zeke's & he has a dog#& secret but really just chilling painting sets & very corporeal ghost brian is like ''aw cmon...'' at that dog Not Liking Him#which is some barking & not being enthused abt brian's efforts to play fetch w/a ball lmao#but only to a mild degree like yeah he's not doing anything. brooke & zeke witnessing this simply like lol lmao#that trio is sooo funny. ghost just hanging out; So nervous; ending up dragged into the friend duo absolute menaces hellions lmao....#the paint on his shirt bit. just the way the whole back & forth of 4 ppl goes; it kills Me....
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thesourstrawberries · 2 years
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While on the topic on old Cartoon Network shows I really want to request from the ether for someone to animate the songs from the Matilda musical but with the Kids next door.
Like....? It's literally perfect?
Naughty could be like literally any member of the KND? Numbah 1, Numbah 3, Numbah 362?
School song would have Tommy and numbuhs 83 and 84 being as Matilda and Lavender. Hortensia (red beret girl) would be Numbah 60. The prefects would be the Delightful Children from Down The Lane.
You cannot tell me Bruce is not perfect for Numbuh 2 and Grandma McStuffum
Revolting Children where Number 2 is Bruce, Numbuh 5 is Red Beret Girl, and Matilda is Numbuh 1 idk.
Even my house could be about the tree house idk. Not everything matches up but you get me.
I need this in my life.
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Was straight up Not Doing Well but then I met a cat and now I think I’m okay
#there was nothing specifically wrong with me. it’s just been one of those days#i woke up way too early for no reason and couldn’t get back to sleep and then my grandparents decided to read all the forms i’m bringing#to my job interview on monday (an application form basically) without asking me and ignored me trying to tell them ‘there’s no info about#the job in there’ and also straight up ‘please don’t read that. there’s no reason for you to read that’#i guess there’s no reason for me to be irked by it because everything in there is stuff they already know about me but like.. it struck me#as rude. and then they didn’t even put it back on the table where they found it?? they put it on a random chair#then i pretty much got ordered to tidy up#then my friend called me having an anxiety attack and i had to run over to her house to make sure the doors were locked (they were)#i also had to bang on every door and window to make sure neither the dog nor the baby had been left home alone by her mom#so now the neighbours probably think i was burgling the place. i had her on the phone so i was prepared to hand it over if anyone questioned#me but still. it can’t have looked great. at one point i was literally in the back garden yelling the kid’s name trying to prove a negative#anyway the kid and the dog weren’t in the house alone. so that’s good#but Then i went for a walk around the village (to help me emotionally deal with all of this) and i sat in the church garden for a bit#and a chunky black cat purred at me and came and sat on my lap. he had long claws so it did hurt a bit i won’t lie#i think next time i might bring an extra jacket so there can be a layer in between him and my thighs. he was very friendly though#i might also bring him a toy because i’m pretty sure he lives in the garden and i know at least one person feeds him but he probably doesn’t#have a ton of stuff to do. and i don’t want to bring more food because he really is Chonky#which i mean.. same but i don’t want to disrupt the balance of whatever dietary plan he may be on#anyway. i love cats#personal
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malt-rants-and-stuff · 2 months
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this week was probably the most eventful one I've had in the whole year so far. what is up with that. anyways I'm back from being dead gang heyyy I witnessed numerous crimes and got into a street fight but we stay winning pow pow
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shigussy · 8 months
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its been like 15 years and i still miss the elderly lady that used to live next door to my family. mf id go over there everyday to do my homework and eat cookies, help her clean her house, and watch our soaps
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mecachrome · 2 months
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notes from nicole piastri's interview on red flags pod
oscar started playing monopoly and chess when he was 4-5 but he was too good at chess (relative to nicole) that she boycotted it
nicole opened her twitter account because oscar wasn't replying to her at boarding school and she needed a place to chastise him ("can you not answer... i KNOW you're on your phone") (it worked because he started replying to her there)
instead of unflappable she calls him "conservative"
even during christmas and birthdays he was never super excited, one time they went with a group of 5 mums and 5 kids to a hi-5 concert (popular australian kids' musical group) and while all the kids were "going nuts" oscar just sat there "focused the whole time" and didn't smile or move lmfao. they were like 3 years old
didn't know what she was doing with oscar as a baby because he was her first child and her mothers' group was her only reference and they went "isn't the best part of the day when you wake up and go to their crib and they smile at you?" and she was like ??? because oscar would wake up and just SCREAM every single day needing to be out of there immediately and she thought that was just normal... then she had the girls and went "ahhhh... so that's what they're talking about"
when he was younger than 2 he needed them to read car magazines to him and was already obsessed with all things automotive and while they were driving would just name off and point out car brands by their badges
for a long period of time he behaved like he was a car and would "spin" his wheels and pretend to accelerate and run like a car lol
did a big burnout the first time he was on a bike (it had training wheels but he still learned very early)
as a mum she wishes he'd chosen golf or tennis since it's much safer than f1 and sometimes people tell her that she technically had a say in that when he was a kid and she said "but i didn't! it was just in him!!!"
won an academic award when he was 13 and she was president of the parents' community so she presented it to him, normally these events are super formal and you simply shake hands but she gave him a big kiss and instead of acting embarrassed or spluttering he looked at the crowd, nodded silently, and walked off
came back for the summer a few years ago and they were biking on the beach together when she had to brake hard to avoid a kid and went over, when she recovered and got back on he went "are you all right?" very deadpan but after they got home they checked his heart rate monitor and saw that he was totally steady the whole time except for when she crashed and his heart rate went through the roof, told him "ah so you do have a heart... we just don't see it"
"there's no sibling that can piss him off?" "well he's a boy with three girls so he just doesn't go there because he's never going to win"
met lily in person for the first time when he came home for the melbourne grand prix (was still alpine reserve), at midnight oscar was like "hey mum you know the dts film crew are coming tomorrow morning right?" and she was like WHAT... and he was like yeah it'll be chill they just want to film us having breakfast like a normal family or whatever and she was like Mate you haven't lived here for 5 years now do you know what breakfast looks like. it looks like your sisters storming downstairs and grabbing an inappropriate breakfast and storming out the door giving me the finger!!! and then the next morning lily comes down and nicole is like "oh is oscar up?" and lily is like no... i think he's still in bed... (many such cases) and then mae refused to be in it so she got dressed and ran off to school 2 hours early to escape them. and then the mclaren fiasco happened and the whole thing got cut out of dts anyway
when she said "oh my god you met matt damon!" he was just like (shrugs) "yeah... yeah..."
they communicate by facetiming and he's Always lying in bed. one time in bahrain he was leaning back on an ornate tapestry and she asked what hotel he was staying at and he was like oh i'm at the royal palace i'm like a guest of the crown prince. she freaked out and was like "oh my god!!! get your head off the tapestry!!!" and he just looked back like ? no it's fine it looks pretty old lol
called her to tell her that he signed his f1 contract and when he said mclaren she Realized and was like oh no i love daniel!! and he straight up deadpanned "yeah everyone loves daniel. that's going to be a problem..." and said verbatim "of all the f1 drivers ever daniel is the worst one to be replacing"
one time in f4 chris couldn't go to a race and billy monger had just had his crash so she flew to the uk for the weekend to support him and when she was driving him back to boarding school she was happy because she had 2 hours to spend with him and she wasn't sure when she'd see him again but instead he slept the whole way through and the moment they got back to school he went "ahhhh... home sweet home" and she wanted to slap him lmfao
first day of primary school when he was 5 years old he said he didn't need her to walk him to school and she was like "well i actually do mate" so he forced her to walk behind him the whole way and the moment they got there he turned to her and went "all right i'm here you can go now" 😭
the chinese & italian & yugoslavian is on chris's side of the family while nicole's is scottish & irish ("that's where the pasty skin comes from")
red flags pod sent her a shirt with oscar's face composed of His Tweet and she showed it to him and he immediately said he wanted it
he gave her a small warning before he posted the tweet but it was just like "mum so this is going to happen just don't worry about it. it's all under control. it'll be fine" and was very calm the whole time
"we just had to trust that his personality would come through at some point, because the way he came across was not at all what he's like. people will work out who the real you is so just continue to do what you do" 🥺
all of the kids were obsessed with Cars (2006)
likes his mum's golden syrup dumplings and grandmother's rumballs
AT THE SINGAPORE GP IN 2023 HATTIE DISAPPEARED FOR HOURS TO GO SEE A K-POP CONCERT 😭😭😭😭 i think it was p1h lmfao (nicole was asked for her favorite group and went "i have no idea. five boys") ((it's txt)) meanwhile oscar is only into house music and she thinks everything he plays is the same song
did pilates when he went home but never with her and thinks it's a lot harder than it looks
takes him minimum 24 hours to respond to anything she sends
she had an exact conversation with oscar where she asked who he wanted to be teammates with and he said "well if i go up against lando i don't even have to get close the first year because everyone knows how good he is" 😭
oscar you are so you 🧡
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Yeah sure the little man was lost, so as a somewhat decent ish human being he went looking with the poor child. And then the boy started running towards you. All the thoughts in his caveman of a mind suddenly channeled into, "Yeah. I could be this kid's papa."
Tw:Stalking
Simon Ghost motherfucking Riley, literally motherfucking riley. Somehow the man found a single mother to stalk and prey on during his leave. Discovering you on accident when your little lad decides to run up to him and call him papa. Yeah uh, sure he's definitely papa 👍. —nonconvincing to anyone but your boy.
Finding your voice calming, somewhat familiar in tone when you talk to the child before thanking him. As if he was paying attention, the way your body reacts to him catching all his focus, the immediate relief painted on your face when you find your child. An embarrassed almost shameful flush on your face when you realize said child brought company.
"Oh gods- thank you for finding my boy, little troublemaker he is.", politely telling him your name and such. Mostly paying attention to remembering your number so he can track you later. And he does. The military comes with its perks after all. Oh how his mind starts up when he realizes who moved in next door. Yeah don't you worry little one, he's definitely papa. —Also nonconvincing
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evilgwrl · 1 month
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ExHusband!Simon x Reader
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You Want a Divorce? (One)
Note: I'm having the WORST writer's block now so pls excuse my lack of proper writing... I'm currently sitting in front of a beach writing in hopes that ill gain inspo
CW: Angst, mentions of sex, jealous/possessive Simon, PLS DONT LEAVE YOUR KIDS IN THE CAR !!! Or break into someone’s house
Inspired by: Ex!Husband Simon
PART TWO
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Simon stared at you. The shades of his eyes simmering into endless voids of obsidian, blonde lashes moulded against his greased lids, the residue of the perpetual torture his body had succumbed to during deployment.
“You want a divorce?” He spoke, voice deep as he flickered between your shaking heads, sweat soiling into the papers gripped firmly and your swollen face, cheeks feverish with a red hue, eyes even more so.
You held back a rough sob, throat stripped of all moisture evident in your hoarse voice as you spoke, “Yes, Simon. I think it would be best for our family… for us.”
He scoffed. “You think the best thing for our family is to separate?”
“We already pretty much are. You’re away for days, weeks, months at a time. We’re hardly a family and it’s difficult to explain to the children why I’m crying.”
“Ok then.”
That was it. You would admit, it stung. His lacklustre tone felt like a stab in the gut, the blade drenched with anthrax as it reared blistering sores internally, the effects having shown through your putrid complexion. Your skin was dull, practically lifeless, the only living form of you grew day by day through the darkening of eyebags that almost made you look apocalyptic.
It had been 12 months of separation, officially 8 being legally divorced. You kept his last name, the permanent burn of hearing Mrs Riley still searing through you with every syllable, yet you feel it would only hurt you more if they said Ms.
Simon was often away now, and the minimal family time he used to get felt pointless as the shabby apartment he moved into after the sudden interference of your mind-boggling news barely fit the two kids you shared. His body felt more relentless on him, the taunting of his mind fulgurated the inoperative reality that he would come home to you, to his family.
His voice, almost like it dropped an octave had grown richer in aggression, tormenting those he deemed suitable, both with his tongue and with his bruised knuckles, an oil painting of blue and purple hues radiating across the pale flesh as he shrugged it off to his team as “pushing himself and others to do better”.
Couldn’t you realise your mistake? Wouldn’t you prefer crying in his arms about his absence than never having it fulfilled again?
As he looked around the bleak environment, tan stained walls revolting the creaking mattress he had brought someone home to, someone who wasn’t you. It made him feel sick like a viral infection had slunk its way into his bloodstream as he laid next to a woman that failed to make his cock throb, endless images of you sprawled out under him flickering. No wonder he called out your name instead.
You felt the familiar shake of your hands every time your phone dinged; Simon’s dreary tone was evident through his dry “On the way” text. You ushered a day of your children’s life into their cartoon-themed backpacks, innocent smiles adorning their skin, doe-like eyes of brown, far too familiar to Simon’s staring up at you.
The sound of his car scraping into your paved driveway almost made you feel like throwing up, the nerves of seeing him combined with the already present pit of anxiety due to your date later turning you into one big shaky mess as you brushed it off as “too much caffeine”.
The echo of his car door slamming shut rung through your ears, staining you with the reiteration that your ex-husband was now at your door, heavy fists knocking upon the wood. The image you saw of him in your mind morphed back to reality as you stared at him, a blank expression on your face.
“Hi, love.”
“Hi, Simon.”
Your frown was clear, the pet name you were so used to becoming a distant memory in the past few months. It was a hole you were attempting to fill, to clear yourself away from his teasing tongue and faux impression of a healthy relationship. You were divorced for a reason, you knew that, but as you gazed upon the lack of life in his skin, it was almost like he was holding a mirror up to you.
“Daddy!” You watched as your 5-year-old, Ella, practically leapt into his hefty frame, his hands coiling around her like second nature. You could feel his warmth, the heat that would build in your stomach when you felt those same digits touch you.
“Hi sweetheart,” his voice gruff, yet tone lighter as he placed a delicate kiss on the skin of her forehead, “You miss me?”
She nodded, her face buried in the hem of his neck as your other child cooed from the bouncy chair, tubby legs attempting to wheel himself to the door.
“There’s my boy,” Simon practically cooed as he placed Ella down, bounding inside as he lifted the toddler out, grabby arms reaching out to pull at Simon’s locks, gentle tugs causing you to laugh.
Your voice cut through the scene like glass. Why would you want to destroy such a happy moment? Weren’t you supposed to be reuniting? Just say it, tell Simon you want him to come home, that you need him.
“This is Ella’s bag,” you speak, holding up the pink Minnie Mouse bag, “And this is Toby’s.” Your son giggled as he muffled out the words, “Transformers”.
Simon nodded, “Are you doing anything tonight?”
Ella practically screeched, “Mummy’s going on a date!” The thrill of her laughter that followed only seemed to make the situation more awkward.
“A date?” Simon’s voice was deadly, the hair raising on your arms as you shook your head, a tight smile on your suddenly dry lips.
“No, no, nothing like that. Just catching up with an old colleague of mine.”
“But he’s a boy, Mummy,” Ella giggled. Who was raising your daughter to be such a big mouth? Your face formed an annoyed look, eyebrows raising as a line of wrinkles crinkled against your forehead, your pointer fingers massaging your temples.
“An old colleague?” Simon practically gasped. Had he met him at your old work Xmas parties?
“Let’s get you guys in the car.” You fumbled with Toby’s car seat as you strapped him in, your nimble fingers shaking with anxiety before you shut the door, pressing a kiss against the window before wiping away the minimal residue of dirt. Gross.
“Who is he?” His tone was acerbic like he was looking for an argument. How dare you try and replace him? He was your husband, the father of your two kids? Have you seen this random man before? Had he fucked you?
“God, Simon-“
“Who is he?” Simon was relentless, bullying his way into getting the answers as his arms folded across his chest, tattoos practically screaming at you too.
“His name’s Andrew. I ran into him at a coffee shop a few weeks back and he just wanted to catch up. That’s it.”
A loud scoff sounded in the air. “You mean that geezer from that corporate job you hated? The one who didn’t know it was weird to blatantly stare down your dress when you were standing next to your fucking husband?”
“He didn’t stare down my dress! You’re not my husband anymore, Simon. I can see who I want.”
“I don’t want our children to grow up thinking they have multiple dads.”
You’ll admit, that stung.
“Multiple dads? You’re out of your mind. The only reason they would ever believe they have multiple dads is if their real one stopped showing up. And where have you been, Simon? When have you shown up?”
Simon held his tongue, the warmth of the metallic taste gashing through his teeth as he practically snarled past you. “I’ll bring them back tomorrow.”
The dress you wore was practically suffocating you as you tucked your stomach in. Simon never minded the change in your figure after motherhood, he found himself liking it even more. He loved knowing that his seed put you through that, that he made you swell with his children, and he brought out the glow in your cheeks and the delicate stretch marks that laced your hips.
Andrew was nice. His tone was comforting as he walked to your door, ushering you to his car as he insisted you could order whatever you wanted. He was handsome, the salt and pepper hues of his hair settling your insecurity.
“We’ll take the Pinot Noir,” he spoke, looking at you with an almost arrogant sheer in his blue eyes. You only liked white. Simon knew that just like he knew everything about y-
You’re not with Simon anymore. You had to realise that. Maybe that’s why you brought Andrew home, let him shove his cock (that was a lot smaller than what you were used to) inside your heat, as you let out moans you had mimicked from the porn you watched with the actor that resembled far too much of your ex-husband.
Simon's fingers gripped the steering wheel early the next morning, your two children snuggled up in the backseat as he drove back to his old house, your old home. He wasn’t a man who gave up easy, he would show you, prove to you that you made a mistake. You needed each other.
Hold on. You don’t drive a red car?
His car lurched into the entrance of your home, nearly ramming into the garage as he shoved it in park, rolling down the two back windows slightly for air as he dug around in the small side compartment of his car.
The familiar gold key he had stolen from you the night he packed up all his stuff stared back at him, practically egging him on. Go on Simon, march in there. So he did. His hand rattled against the door knob, glancing back to peak into the car for a second before he slammed the door shut.
Your body froze. Were you being robbed? No. It was only Simon. A very angry-looking Simon. You stood, the white sheet barely shielding your naked body as he took in the sight of the man next to you, his hands wrapping around his shoulders as he practically ripped him out of bed, flinging him onto the floor as he grunted, eyes reared with hatred.
“Simon, what the fuck are you doing? WHERE ARE THE KIDS?”
Andrew groaned, on the floor, covering his groin as Simon chucked the masculine clothes at his head, the thin boxers soiled across the man’s scalp as he trembled.
“Our kids are asleep in the car, waiting for their Mummy to come to the zoo with them.” Simon’s words were despicable, laced with an acrimonious tone, small particles of spit seething through his lips as stared at you.
He turned to the man, a giant frame staggering over the top of him. “Get the fuck out, and if you wake up our kids when you go past, I will personally put a bullet straight in the middle of your skull,” he said, pushing a thick digit against his forehead as Andrew rushed out, clothes barely on before you felt the front door shut, a cry of apologises leaving your lips as you tried to assist him but Simon only held you back, a tight grip coiling around your arm.
“What the fuck was that? How’d you get in?” You couldn’t even place the words to say, humiliation roaring through you as you snuggled the sheet closer to you, away from his peering eyes.
“It’s time to be a family again, don’t you think love?”
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augustinewrites · 9 months
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“do you not love me anymore?”
satoru’s (self-proclaimed) adorable pout is rendered ineffective when you refuse to look up from your work, typing away on your computer as his world absolutely crumbles.
“are you a worm?” you ask, wholly uninterested in his theatrics.
“no.”
“then of course i still love you.”
“then what the heck is this?!”
sighing, you finally lift your gaze to see your wallet open and laid out in front of you. “that’s what this is about?”
“you took my favourite picture of us out for megumi’s school photo!”
“that was not your favourite picture of us,” you argue. “you keep that in a locked folder on your phone.” 
(it’s your fault that he thinks of that photo now, having to utilise mental skills he’d learned during unnecessarily sexy sparring lessons in high school to will away the beginning of stiffness in his pants) 
“that’s not the point,” he says calmly, tapping a finger over megumi’s glaring face. “the point is that i’m losing top-billing in my girlfriend’s wallet to a snot-nosed brat with a crush.” 
“really? you’re competing with a seven year old?” 
“it’s not competing if i’m losing!”
“it’s puppy love, satoru,” you laugh, closing your wallet before he can see that his card is inside. “i don’t think he’s ever had someone - that wasn’t his sister - fussing over him.”
“no, he definitely has a crush on you,” your boyfriend insist, draping himself over your lap quite dramatically. “can we still disown him if the adoption papers haven’t gone through yet?”
“no one is disowning anyone,” you tell him, gently pushing back his bangs to plant a kiss on his forehead. “you’ll just have to learn to live with the competition.”
_____
you’re halfway through the show you’re watching when the front door swings open and satoru tumbles inside. “honey, i’m home! nanami almost killed me at the gym.”
“hey, there’s lunch in the fridge,” you call, eyes glued to the television. 
satoru, predictably, is unsatisfied with this. he grabs the mug that you’re holding and sets it on the coffee table, wrapping you in a sweaty hug and peppering your face with kisses. 
“let me love you!” he whines, his hair tickling your nose as he nuzzle his face into your neck.
“you can love me after you take a shower, cause you stink.” your tone is stern, but you can’t seem to fight the smile that grows on your face as he hugs you tighter. 
“this is all for your benefit,” he argues, finally releasing you just to pull the hem of his shirt up. you try to smother the heat rising to your face, but satoru notices, a self satisfied smirk on his lips as he pats his abs. “i’m letting nanami kill me at the gym for you.”
“you’re such a slut,” you mutter, wriggling out of his grasp and over to the opposite end of the couch. satoru relents, staying on his end as he recounts his (apparently) near-death experience at the gym.
it’s a few moments later when megumi saunters into the living room.
“megumi! come sit with me!”
the boy’s nose immediately wrinkles. “you stink.”
his full-force pout returns. “i do not!”
“do too.”
“do not—”
“do too,” megumi scoffs, plopping down next to you and resting his head against your arm. 
“so you’re gonna let him snuggle with you but not me? i’m tired and sore and—”
“and sweaty,” you finish. “go take a shower.” 
he glances down at the kid glued to your side, brows raised as he mouths, crush. 
you roll your eyes, thinking it wise to not engage in any banter in front of megumi. 
(but as your attention returns to the tv, what you don’t see is megumi’s own little smirk, directed right at satoru.
like father, like son.)
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shotmrmiller · 3 months
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simon who can afford a better flat than the budget friendly flat he lives in but won't move. johnny doesn't understand. he wants to blame it on simon being the enigmatic, intentionally perplexing man he tends to be but he has a flat.
he doesn't have to. he's got no significant other, no kids (that he knows of, god only knows if simon's got a bairn somewhere. it makes him heated thinking about it. he's it's uncle, damn it.) why does he rent here when living in base is free?
the question answers itself when he's over one evening, empty beer bottles on the table, amber glass reflecting the warm glow of the lone lamp overhead. the television is on, volume turned down, blending with the other sounds of the night— the distant barking of dogs, the quiet hum of simon's fridge, the occasional car passing by outside.
the conversation had died down already, not like they don't spend almost every waking breath with each other at work and they'd been sitting in a comfortable silence when there was a sudden, sharp knock at simon's door.
it startles johnny, reaction instinctive as he reaches for his hip, hand curling around the grip of his holstered gun but simon seems relaxed. he pins him with a look and mutters, "s'alrigh'."
what does he mean it's alright? it's 'witchin' hour'' as his mam calls it, who could possible be at his door? he cranes his neck to look and—
it's you, standing up here with a flour-dusted apron, small hands holding a warm pastry, the steam twisting and curling off of it. you're exude homely charm, soft face glowing from the corridor's light (or maybe it's at the sight of seeing simon, who knows?) he can smell it in the air, sweet, inviting.
what johnny finds interesting enough to send a quick text to kyle is how simon is looking at you. as if you're handing him more than just a custard tart, but also a little piece of heaven, a fragment of a dream he hopes to have one day.
"'m sorry, simon. i wasn't aware you had any company. i just really needed to stress bake or i would've gone off the deep end and end up in prison."
violent little bonnie. he can see the appeal.
simon cups his hands over yours (he definitely did it as an excuse to touch you) as he takes the treat. if you make food to unwind and give it to your neighbors, johnny oughta move in next door too. he'll never turn down free food.
"don't worry about it." johnny's eyebrows shoot to his hairline at the softness in his tone, bottle halfway to his lips.
clearly more than a passing fancy.
"i'll just uhm, if you're friend wants some too—" but simon gently interrupts you before he can ask for some of that sweet comfort too.
"he's not hungry."
cruel, cruel bastard. he'll remember this day, jot it down in his calendar. when he gets a girl of his own, he'll be sure to do the same.
johnny wonders if you've got a crick in your neck from looking up at simon as you speak hushed words, meant only for him. can he get at least a nibble of that tart?
you shoot johnny a shy ㅤsmile before turning around and simon closes the door, turning back to the warming beers, golden tart in hand.
even the plate it's on is cute.
"ah can see the hearts in yer eyes, lt."
johnny can practically hear the air parting as simon's fist cuts through it, aimed at his head. he avoids it with practiced ease. "ooh, touchy. ah'll leave ye be if i get a bite o' tha'."
he doesn't gets not even a crumb because simon is selfish.
(simon moved here purposefully because he knows you live here and can't be at peace without knowing where you are at all times. there's a tag inside your favorite pair of shoes you left out in the hall once to dry after a hard downpour. the bakery you work at is down the street, if he looks out the south facing window, he can see you going in and leaving work. he likes to let himself in your home and smell your cushions. took one of your shirts too but at least made sure it wasn't one of your faves. he has to wash it every other day)
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wonryllis · 5 months
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the hot dad next door (m) | park sunghoon.
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﹙ 🎬 ﹚ ぃ ────𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂?
preview. the ever quintessential first time dad moves in next door with his five year old and finds it impossible not to fall for you, the pretty girl who gives his daughter cookies and him; the doll eyes. obsessed with your entire being, unable to keep his hands off you, park sunghoon questions if he's just crazy or he's crazy over you.
or where, he notices the way you look at his hands a little too long for it to be innocent.
meet the cast. single dad!park sunghoon with his pretty neighbour fem!reader.
genre. DILFF AUU !!, SMUT MDNI, fluff, neighbours to lovers, sunghoon is quite literally yes insanely crazed over you and for the sake of god can't keep his dick soft, domestic a little bit i guess, i want to make her my wife trope EEEKKK, slight age gap (hoon in late twenties and reader in early twenties) more to be added.
word count. est around 20k or more
warnings. inaccuracies about parenting cause i aint a parent, i got no idea. more will be mentioned in the actual post.
releasing. very soon!! .. progress update tag
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park sunghoon was hot, he was a walking greek god. was single and wore these fitted suits that had you weak in the knees. if that wasn't hot enough, park sunghoon also had the cutest baby girl you had ever come across and it just made him hotter than he could ever have been.
"hey, um .. is ji—" sunghoon stands at the threshold of your open apartment door, one hand holding his creased blazer and the other rubbing at the back of his neck. embarrassed and shy at having to show up at yours looking like a mess after work because his daughter ran off while he was busy on a call and taking out her school bag from the backseat. and because everytime his daughter ran off, it was to the pretty girl next door who gives away sweet cookies all the time.
"is jia here? yeah she's in the kitchen," you answer, smiling soft and knowingly at the worried guy who barely looked like a dad. he worked in a corporate editorial, out before eight in the morning just as you prepared ingredients for your bakery. taking his daughter along to school, her excited voice resonating through the halls talking about how they were going to play with clay in class. around seven in the evening you'd hear her again, this time alone as she would skip over to your door because dada was too slow.
on weekends it'd be impossible to ignore the ruckus they made playing around, sometimes inviting you over for lunch because sunghoon apparently made too much and jia wanted to share her dada's delicious food. on some occasional weekends when he'd be called in to work for a few hours, jia would promise him to stay home and behave only to call you through the landline the moment he'd step out the door. and you would text sunghoon to come over to yours after work, his daughter munching on the new flavored cupcakes you made, unbothered about her dad and his scoldings.
"come on in, i made some almond lime tart, you could give me some feedbacks along with jia. you know she always says it's good and i can never know if it's actually good," sunghoon can't help but chuckle at that, slipping off his shoes by the front and walking inside. his eyes following your figure with a fond look as you tend to his daughter delicately, and might he admit— even more so than him.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids; cue that one time jia was crying her eyes out after school and he had no idea what to do to comfort her, knocking at your door frantically and having his mind blown at how quickly you figured things out and calmed her down.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids, you treat them both so well, always ready to help him out with jia, giving them sweet treats every other day and most of all— you're fucking pretty. way too pretty for him to handle.
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FIRST TAGLIST (open.) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @belowbun @aaa-sia @niniissus @tobiosbbyghorl @imjakes-wifeofc1 @youresolivlie @eun-cherry @kimsunoops @aiden2001 @brownsugarbaybee @pockettwinzz @bangtancultsposts @diorikis @heelvsted @crimnalseung @iselltulips @yzzyhee @woniebae @river-demon-slayer @lovingvoidgoatee @antonsgirlfriend @kpopslover @bugcattie @slut4hee @yunjinswifee @woniefull @nanaheex @soobs-things @dammit-jjk @starlvcieszsq @mnxnii @skylaly @mintdsunoo @uyuchoco @anittamaxwynnn @rikiwaify-blog @kill4jl @ggparkjh @sstephenzz @judeduartewannabe @jungwoneez @aye2611-blog @hybeboyenthusisast @minjaexvz
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