#caffeine. so much caffeine.

[timblrdrake]

What do you do when your sleep schedule doesn’t

-A totally sane Gothamite, 2:03 am

i wouldn’t know, i don’t have that problem.

-Tim Drake, 2.5 hours of sleep

[tannnnblogs]

[spartanfoxart]

"Never lie to a professional liar."

Fun sort of pin-up art of my Chiss Imperial agent, Kir'av'saiow (Iravsa).

[clownsuu]

Why are Wally and Howdy so cute together??

Just something about em that fuels my wee small lil heart smhhh- their dynamic is so wacky yet simple it makes me crave more somehow 😔🥄🥄

Fuckin e e p y

[dustykneed]

i just think spock has great mom friend potential tbh. strong contender for the cutest thing i've ever drawn

[screwpinecaprice]

Drink's on me.

[cricket-mound]

everyone say thank you to @garpen twitter au for finally breaking my post artfight july creativity block 🙏🙏 i am forever in your service

can’t wait to find out if the analogous ‘they’ fucking killed bernard <3

hang in there big man, op just realized you can get poly married to your boyfriends

[mblue-art]

once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)

[thevoidstaredback]

Phantom's Coffee

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant Side Story

There is a lot that comes with being a ghost. Most of that is really cool superpowers. The unfortunate side effect with the whole being dead thing is that he doesn't have need for human functions or sustenance.

It had been a horrible thing to discover, really. The lack of constant need for sleep and food and drink was sometimes useful, but that came with the realization that nothing affected him.

At first, Danny and his team thought it was because he was dead. No blood flow, no working organs, no metabolism. This lead to a lot of experimentation. Drugs and alcohol had no effect, neither did poisons. He didn't get sick anymore, no matter what he did!

And then he realized that coffee didn't work.

Naturally distraught, Danny went straight to Frostbite to figure out what was going on. It's finals season, damnit! Coffee was gonna be the one thing to pull him through his studies!

"From what I can tell," the yeti explained, "your human functions have stopped. Quite the opposite, really."

Danny blinked. "But, I'm dead. Ghosts don't have working organs or stuff like that."

"Indeed, but you're only half dead."

"What difference does that make?"

Why did Frostbite now have charts, and where did they come from? "I can only guess, but when you died and brought back, the electricity jump started everything in your body. It essentially supercharged you. I can only assume that it'll die down in time to the point of non-function, but we can't know for sure."

"Wait," Danny's voice was nervous, "What does that mean?"

Frostbite took a minute to think over his words, looking for how to phrase what he wanted to say. "When you are alive, your heart beats slower than it did before your death, yes?"

"Yeah."

"That would be the effects of the ectoplasm that reanimated you. Your heart rate is slower, breathing takes a more conscious effort, your blood flow is slower, your organs are all working at half of what they used to." He took another moment of pause. "When you are dead, your heart beats faster than it did, breathing is faster, blood flow is faster, your organs are working at twice capacity."

Danny's breathing, now that he was very aware of it, picked up. "What- But that- What?!"

"With a high enough voltage, electricity kills. With a high enough concentration, ectoplasm reanimates."

"Reani- but I'm alive!"

"Indeed."

"But that doesn't make sense!"

"Doesn't it?"

"No!"

"Perhaps I should try a different phrasing." Frostbite said. "When you are Danny Fenton, you are more dead than alive in the sense that your body has been killed and not fully revived. When you are Danny Phantom, you are more alive than dead in the sense that your body was revived and not fully killed."

Danny was quiet for a moment. "Reanimated and revived aren't interchangeable, Frostbite."

"In some contexts', no. In others, they are."

"Are they here?"

A beat. "Yes."

Danny knew he was lying, but he didn't call him out on it. That was a crisis for another day, thank you very much.

So, higher metabolism for Danny Phantom, lower one for Danny Fenton. Great.

All crises pushed aside to freak out about never later, Danny's ew mission was to find out exactly how much caffeine would be required to give him the buzz of wakefulness that he was searching for.

Normally, the course of action would to be to measure how much e weighs and look up the maximum caffeine intake his body could handle. It was the first thing he tried, and it failed.

By the tried and true method of 'Fuck It, We Ball', Danny learned that he needs to have 35,000 milligrams of caffeine in a single sitting before any effect takes hold when he's drinking as Phantom.

The calculations running at a 5:1 ratio, caffeine milligrams to weight pounds, the lowest end on the scale of average weight of a small female elephant (3,175 kilos), multiplied by five gives him the 15,875 milligrams that would be enough to give him a low buzz and keep him awake for a few hours. That's enough to kill the elephants on the low end of the scale.

(Jazz vetoed any kind of caffeine that wasn't naturally occuring in chocolate when he's Danny Fenton. She said that he's already died once and that he doesn't need heart problems to kill him.)

(Danny calls bull, but he isn't willing to risk his sister's ire.)

Because he can't let finals get the best of him, Danny decided to take it a step further.

The highest end of the scale for the average weight of female elephants is 4,050 kilos, multiplied by the same five, gives 20,250 milligrams of caffeine.

Essentially, the lower end of the scale would give him the same effect as 99 (and a bit) 473 milliliter cans of Rockstar Energy Drinks in one sitting. The higher end of the scale would be 126 (and a bit) 473 milliliter cans of Rockstar Energy Drinks in one sitting.

All that was left to do, now that he has the maths for the desired effect figured out, was to mix that in his favorite drink: A Red Eye.

Truly an abomination for the ages.

After way too much brain power, Phantom's completed coffee order looks like this:

A large Red Eye with 20,250 mg of caffeine

2 tablespoons of cinnamon

1 tablespoon of honey

1/8 cup of chocolate syrup

and 3 mint leaves or 1 teaspoon of mint extract

(he added 4 shots of vodka when he turned 21)

Danny is gonna kick his finals' ass, and be hyped up on caffeine while doing it!

Storyboard

[lena-thinks-too-much]

I headcanon that Tim's caffeine problem functions like my friends caffeine problem. In that he actually hates caffeine but he'll chug 3 red bulls when he needs to lock in. He's going to stay up regardless of the caffeine thanks to the insomnia. But without it he's not going to brain very much. He likes coffee less but it's an acceptant substitute of energy drinks are not available. He'll drink the energy drink over like a really sweet frappaccino because it's the only thing guaranteed to keep him alert and at peak mental condition. He doesn't drink it as often as people think he does but when he does drink energy drinks, he'll consume and ungodly amount in one sitting. Then he'll crash at like 5 in the morning and complain when he has to wake up 3 hours later.

[slutforpatroclus]

The bond between college students and their favorite corner of the library can be so personal sometimes

[jacarandaaaas]

uhhh I’m bored so hot take: this fandom constantly reduces luisas character down to be only her trauma🧍‍♀️

[anonymocha]

Do NOT try this at home, you may not blink or sleep for the next 48 hours and found unconscious frothing in the mouth on a sidewalk after that

[good-to-drive]

[junglejim4322]

One time i looked up some threads where straight men talked about their experience on bumble bc I was curious due to the messaging system they have in place and to my surprise it was absolute doomer shit including guys saying the lack of attention they got made them legitimately suicidal. I don’t even mean incel type shit blaming women like legitimately claiming that it made them feel fundamentally undesirable, what’s amazing to me when people take stuff on apps super personally is like you’re essentially making an advertisement for yourself and hoping it’s interesting enough someone invests in attempting to know you. It’s literally the most manufactured social experience possible so OF COURSE only extremely conventionally attractive people & people who are able to convey an unbelievable amount of charisma will get any notable attention because why would someone put the effort in otherwise. I bet you anything a ton of average looking guys who lament about the state of dating would do fine finding people who are interested in them in a normal social situation but instead they’re taking women who are essentially trying to find a needle in a haystack on dating apps as some sort of indicator of actual dating being impossible for men

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

things we learn about scully in s1

she has a godson (and she told his mother that she thinks mulder is cute)

she did her residency in forensic medicine

she's good with dogs and is naturally drawn to all kinds of animals (even evil-looking monkeys)

she wants to keep her christmas tree up all year because her father always made her take it down as soon as the holiday was over

(and she was never positive that her father, who was in the navy and involved in the cuban blockade, was truly proud of her, because she joined the FBI instead of becoming a full-time doctor like he had wanted)

((and he didn't say "i love you" the last time he spoke to her. ouch))

when she was 14, she stole one of her mother's cigarettes, which she thought was disgusting, but she wanted to do something Forbidden for once

she once forgot her own birthday (which is february 23rd) when she was studying for her exams

she has a little cat sign on her apartment door <3

when challenged by the preacher's kid, she refused to deny the power of God; she was raised catholic, and remembers that "God never lets the devil steal the show"

(she's almost always wearing a cross necklace, even while declaring that she considers science sacred)

((and yes, her favorite movie is the exorcist))

she took some biology courses on bugs and is now going to tell you some bug facts

she has two brothers, one younger and one older

her dad- with whom she did not have the greatest of relationships- nicknamed her "starbuck"

(he called her this after the steady and rational first mate character from moby dick; all the more cruel when you consider he pushed her aside for joining the FBI rather than doing the "logical" thing, becoming a doctor. to cast her in a role of the dutiful daughter without her permission and then create a conditional sense of love is just. so mean. it's a miracle she didn't turn out as emotionally repressed as he did)