#c: bofur

[crownedghostprince]

That’s My Emotional Support Wife!

Legolas x Female!Accident Prone!Reader

Fandom: The Hobbit

Legolas and (Y/N) had courted for about a decade before finally deciding to marry.  (Y/N) was the daughter of Lord Elrond, just slightly younger than Arwen, and after marriage she moved to Mirkwood to live with Legolas and her father-in-law the King, Thranduil.  Legolas didn’t mind how accident prone (Y/N) was, sometimes it was even sort of cute.  And now there are 13 dwarves in the cells of Mirkwood having to be dealt with whilst the Elves continue their parties, patrols and usual antics that the dwarves were unaware of until that day.

Requests: Closed. Requested: no.

Warning(s): None.

Note: This is sort of silly, so if you enjoy a fun fanfiction, this is the one to read! (Y/C) - stands for (Your Choice) and (Your Colour).

Word Count: 2,021

[Third Person Perspective]

(I couldn’t find any attached link to this picture from Pinterest, but it was under the account name “The Facegirl” when I found it. They seem cool from what I checked out.)

The dwarves were not happy to be locked up in the cells of Mirkwood under King Thranduil’s rule.  The elves would just pass by here and there as if it was an ordinary path to take.  These cells weren’t in dungeons or anything like you might expect, for the bars of the cells were incredibly tough and strong.  Therefore, there was no need to put the cells in such an inconvenient spot and instead it was closer to the main area where most Wood Elves just wandered through.  (This was also best as the Woodland Realm almost never had prisoners to jail).

So, the dwarves were trapped in their cells, waiting for Thorin to join them (hopefully with good news).  They’d tried breaking out of the cell in whatever way they could think.  From slamming against the bars with their shoulders, to kicking them with their legs and shaking them with their hands.  But still the cell bars held strong.  Bofur was the first to actually observe the elves, rather than sneer and ignore them like the others.  The others didn’t wish to make eye-contact or even look in their general direction.

Bofur watched, as many elves walked through speaking elvish and looking graceful.  Some elves were so graceful when they walked it looked almost as if they were floating across the floor, not even touching the ground.  He struggled to tell who was male and who was female, but the sounds of their voices definitely helped - even if he couldn’t understand their language.

Eventually he saw a beautiful elf with (Y/C) hair and (Y/C) eyes.  His?  Her? Dress was a beautiful mixture of pink and purple that fell past their ankles and hid their feet.  Thus, they appeared to be floating as they walked.  Bofur smiled, appreciating how beautiful the elves could truly be.  How graceful and--and she walked into a wall.  This got the dwarves quietly chuckling from they cells.

Even Dwalin was hiding his snicker.  They would laugh more openly, but they were in foul moods and didn’t want to anger the elves when the elves had an advantage against them.  The elf maiden didn’t seem to mind - hearing their chuckles with her good hearing - and laughed with them.  A shadow crossed the floor and Legolas landed with perfection as he came to check on his wife.  The dwarves’ faces immediately molded into scowls at the sight of the rude elf that found them and cast them into their cells.

They continued to watch as Legolas checked his wife’s face for cuts and smiled when she was cleared to be okay.  He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and took her hand, walking her to the staircase to continue her on her path.  She was not halfway up the staircase when she tripped and fell.  Luckily, Legolas was used to this and simply caught her and gracefully carried her the rest of the way.  He set her back down on the marble floors, kissed the back of her hand and returned to his position up high, watching over the area.  She curtsied and although the dwarves could not hear - or understand it - she thanked him.  “Ni ‘lassui en, Legolas.”

An hour later, Thorin joined his company in the cells.  He simply explained how he had not taken any deal with King Thranduil and that all the Elves could...well...let’s not translate that now.  The dwarves were upset by this news, feeling like they’d be trapped forever.  But Thorin knew there was a Bilbo Baggins somewhere out there.  And he would help free them.  He was sure of it.  Bilbo was not so sure.  Every time he thought he had a clear path to descend to the cells, suddenly a bunch of elves walked by.  He was thankful the ring he found made him invisible.

Some were going to patrol outside, some were laughing and telling jokes in Elvish, some were carrying wine and food, or decorations and others were reading a lovely looking book as they walked by.  The thing is this: Bilbo didn’t have many openings to sneak past and not bump into someone.  So instead he decided to follow them for a brief moment and saw them setting up a sort of party.  With decorations and a clear view of the sky where Bilbo could see the tinges of orange and pink beginning to appear in the clouds.

There were tables lined with bottles of wine and kegs of wine and cups for the wine.  There were a few tables of food, but mostly it was wine.  With lots of seats, some elves already perched on the staircases and some elves sitting up high on ledges already getting drunk.  Many were singing and some were possibly telling poems?  Or stories?  Bilbo wasn’t quite sure but it was a merry gathering that was forming.

‘Well,’  Bilbo decided to himself, ‘Time to find those dwarves.’  And so he walked back the way he came, sneaking down corridors of marble and past beautiful pillars with beautiful, intricate carvings running down them.  Soon his eyes laid upon, a (Y/C) haired elf with a beautiful dress and stunning eyes.  She was reading a book as she walked absentmindedly.  He decided to follow her and see where he ended up.

They walked for almost half an hour when he heard the familiar, grumpy dwarves’ voices as they hushedly whispered to each other in Khuzdul.  ‘Finally,’ Bilbo thought excitedly, ‘I’ve found them!’  He waited behind the she-elf, watching where she was headed.  By the time he realized she was about to walk down a flight of stairs and possibly injure herself, a blond elf was by her side with an arm around her waist.  Legolas was so accustomed to stopping his wife from falling down stairs it was almost a daily thing to catch her and gently lead her away.

“A, Legolas.”  She smiled to her lover with such a soft gaze he felt sure to melt under it.  Although the dwarves did not know it, ‘A’ was Elvish for ‘Hi’.  However, they simply thought it was an exclamation like the English ‘Ah’ when one realizes they almost walked off the top step of a flight of stairs.

However, (Y/N) was so accident prone she was no longer surprised when someone stopped her from walking into a wall, or a door, or out a window and this case was no different.  Bruises and cuts from falling down stairs was common for our silly she-elf lady.  Legolas sighed fondly.  “Hiril vuin, please do fall down the stairs before a most wonderful celebration.”  ‘Hiril vuin’ was Elvish for ‘my lady’ and was a sweet and simple way for Legolas to remain caring, but serious, in front of the dwarvish prisoners.

Bofur spoke up with a chuckle from the cells below, “Is falling down the stairs a common occurrence?  I would love to see such a performance everyday!”  He joked.  The dwarves laughed in agreement except for Oin who could barely hear what Bofur said.

“What did he say?”  He asked Gloin who was in the cell beside him.  His question went unanswered as Gloin continued to loudly laugh.  Legolas glared down at the cells whilst (Y/N) simply laughed with the dwarves.  She had a wonderful sense of humour - she has two older and fun twin brothers after all - and she was also used to these jokes which made it even more fun in her opinion!

Once the laughter had settled down a bit (Y/N) chuckled out, “I knew I should’ve been the King’s jester!”  and the howls of laughter sprung back up again.  Their thunderous voices bounced of the walls and echoed through the building.  Even Legolas and Bilbo chuckled at (Y/N)’s joke.  As the dwarves continued to laugh, crack jokes and sometimes just rest in silence, Legolas decided to simply ignore them and inquire about his wife’s current book.  “Oh!  It’s a book of Elvish poems and short love stories.  I fell in love with it after reading the first couple of love poems.  It even has some poems specifically to be read just before you sleep.  Oh!  I’ll find one of my favourites for you!”

She began to carefully flip back through the previously read pages, keeping her bookmark on her current page as she did so.  Bilbo took this chance to quietly sneak past the couple and down the stairs to the cells in order to look for the keys.  Legolas smiled adoringly as his wife quietly muttered the poem titles until she found the one she was looking for.  Although the Elvish is truly beautiful and wonderful to read, here’s the English equivalent instead:

“ Your Divine Beauty,

The stars crown your head, As you rest peacefully in bed, And the moon bathes you in its’ light, Kissing you with all its’ might.

Such beauty even the sun bows down, So its’ colours may reflect onto your white gown. Pink, orange and gold, Dare not touch or enfold.

For they will not dare, To hide your beauty nor ensnare.”

Although Bilbo and the dwarves had no clue what she said as it was in Elvish, still they folded to the sound of her melodic voice when she read aloud her favourite poem.  Legolas gently kissed her forehead when she was finished and sighed wistfully.  “I adore that poem so much now.”  He smiled down as their foreheads rested together.

“I’m glad you liked it, dear.”  She grinned, returning his kiss with a giggle.  Only a moment had passed when they heard approaching footsteps.  Bilbo snuck back to a corner in case they should pass him and the dwarves returned to their original scowls as two Elven guards came to a stop in front of the couple.  The woman curtsied to the guards and they returned with a bow.

“We’re sorry to interrupt, but the celebrations are beginning.”  They explained, carefully watching Legolas’ eyes as he sighed.

“Very well.  Then I shall not keep you any longer, my dear.  Please, go enjoy yourself and do not wait up for me.  I will join you shortly after I have finished my patrol over the cells.”  Legolas kissed his wife’s hand with a tenderness and care you only hear and see in romance books.

“Thank-you, darling.  I shall join them, but I shall still wait for you.”  She grinned with a cheeky glint to her eyes.

“Why do I bother to tell you to not wait, you don’t listen anyway.”  He chuckled sweetly.  “Very well.  Now go, before my father is disappointed with both of us being absent.”

“Ah, yes, I should hurry then.  Take care, darling, and try not to roughen up the dwarves too much.”  She kissed him once more before leaving with the guards to the celebrations.  Legolas sighed wistfully once more and did not move until she was safe out of sight with the guards.  He trusted them to catch her if she should fall.

But even if she is injured, they have healers that are always pre-prepared for her anyway.  He turned back and before he could ascend back to his post, the dwarves spoke up.

“So she and you are...well...together, huh?”

“She’s my emotional support wife.”  Legolas grinned mischievously, knowing fully well she could still hear them with her excellent Elvish hearing.  A second later his ears heard her voice in the distance,

“I heard that!”  And he smiled hearing her voice once more.

“You’ll do well to not disrespect her whilst you’re here.”  Legolas stared the dwarves down as he finally returned to his post, just out of their line of sight above them.  The dwarves rolled their eyes and proceeded to taunt him with funny comments anyway.  All were harmless, but they were fishing for a reaction from Legolas so they did their best to make it sound almost like insults.  He didn’t care enough to hear though, he was ignoring them and mentally reciting his wife’s favourite poem so when she was having a bad sick day he’d know it off by heart.

[just-a-little-cellist]

Hello!

So this request is a little more serious, but could you write about Thorins company (platonic) or just Fíli (romantic) finfing out about readers past with really bad mental health?

For example depression or ED's

But I totally get if youre uncomfortable with this so dw

(of course! I've written this with depression in mind just because that's what I have experience with but feel free to request again if you want one specific to EDs - I've done Fili but also there's some bonus headcanons for the whole company at the end :) I hope this can be a comfort to anyone struggling with mental health - don't be afraid to reach out if you need anything!)

(Fili x gender neutral reader, platonic Thorin's Company x reader - warnings for discussion of mental health, depression etc)

Fili is pretty observant, especially when he's in a relationship with you. You're his One after all, and he wants nothing more than to keep you happy.

So he immediately catches on when he notices you seem more lethargic than usual, your smile is a little less bright, and you start struggling with things that are normally second nature to you.

He's never one to push if you don't feel like talking, but he'll encourage you to share with him as soon as he realises something is off.

When you decide to tell him about your past issues with mental health, he listens patiently, and his heart breaks when he understands the extent of what you've been through.

Fili hates the thought of you experiencing that kind of pain, but even more than that he hates the idea that there isn't much he can do to help sometimes.

You reassure him that in dark times, just being there for you can help. There might not be any way for him to lift the negative thoughts from your mind, but knowing he's there to support you helps take some of the weight off.

He quickly learns the signs of your mood dropping, and will do his best to make you laugh or just smile more on those days. He loves hearing you laugh anyway, and he happens to be pretty good at causing it, but the sound is even sweeter when he knows he's pulled you out of a rough patch. Even if it's just for a moment.

If that doesn't work and you keep dropping, he makes sure you eat and rest well, and makes sure you don't keep yourself isolated. Those days he'll often sit beside you and tell you stories about him and his brother. He knows you might not have the energy to pay attention much, but he can tell him talking helps to ground you a little more.

Fili also learns to recognize any of your triggers, and will do anything in his power to help you avoid them. If you can't avoid them, then he'll try to distract you from it.

Discussions of mental health amongst the dwarves are not particularly common, so your struggles are somewhat foreign to him at first, but Fili is always willing to be patient if it helps you.

He's there for every step of your healing journey, regardless of how many times you might fall behind, or relapse, or anything else. He's there to help you pick up the pieces and keep moving, and will be nothing less than encouraging and uplifting.

Bonus: Company headcanons :)

The company have mixed reactions to finding out about your mental health history. Again, their knowledge of mental health as a whole is limited, so they aren't sure how to approach it at all.

However, they all care about your wellbeing, even more so knowing how much Fili cares for you, so they'll do their best.

A few of them are much more in touch with their emotions, and so they read you well and help out with small gestures.

Dori will bring you tea if he notices you seeming off. Balin will always offer a listening ear should you need someone to vent to. Bofur has got making you laugh down to a fine science. Gandalf will notice you getting lost in your own head and send smoke rings in your direction, which always somehow morph into animated wisps of your favourite animals.

The rest of the company are not as well versed in comfort, but they'll still show they care. Albeit with much less grace.

One of them will always bring you some food at dinner, not accepting no for an answer and only grunting in response when you thank them. If you look even slightly cold then there are at least three dwarves grumbling and handing you a cloak. Thorin also ensures that you take enough breaks, even if you insist that you're ok.

None of them really know what they're doing, and it's definitely a learning curve, but they look after their own. And you're one of the company.

[kililvr]

OIN : i have a question

THORIN : shoot

OIN : is the s or c in scent silent?

KILI : fuck you, i'm going to be thinking about this all day

FILI : okay, well, cent is pronounced the same as scent so i'm going to say the s is silent

BALIN : okay but sent is also pronounced the same way

BOFUR : plot twist, both the s and the c are silent and the e actually makes the sss sound

DWALIN : bofur is not allowed to talk anymore

[entishramblings]

Tolkien Characters as things my extended family and I have said on our annual five day bender (pt. 1)

Aragorn: Anything that wants my blood bothers me.

Kili: No cousin wants to see their cousin’s friend’s dick and balls!!!

Legolas: You cannot mount the lama. I’m sorry. You cannnot do it.

Boromir: What is that? Your ass peircing??

Denethor: MINECRAFT. THEY ARE SITTING ON THE PORCH BEING CRIMINALS. M I N E C R A F T.

Samwise: Google potatoes.

Fili: And then she had this unwashed asshole and she wanted him to eat her ass because she really wanted him to eat it, but he never did.

Thranduil: I threw shit at my children. White claws. Dirt. Children.

Merry, seeing Pippin pour beer on his foot: That’s alcohol abuse.

Bombur: I’m a big fan of beans.

Bofur: I’ve got a mattress. I can pretend that someone is under me….and on top of me.

Kili: *rushes Fili into his room* I need to tell you about my bagalini addiction. *pulls out 5 different bags* “You can’t tell Thorin!”

Dwalin, looking at Bilbo: He’s a concerning kind of weird.

Gimli: Hey! ASSHOLE! Come join your friends over there. There’s some sort of orgy happening.

Samwise, spraying an insect eating his plants: fuuuuuuccck youuuuuuuuu

Kili: Uncle Thorin poked me in the butthole.

Gimli, to Gandalf: You look like you have been antiqued.

Frodo: I feel like a shriveled up shrimp.

more parts coming soon!

[luna-redamancy]

hii 💖

hope you had a lovely holiday & that you’re doing alright c: we have a new kitty her name is sweet pea she’s a little darling.

if I may request a human!reader courting an orc, one who’s decent enough that for their little spouse they don’t go after the other races if asked, getting introduced to their spouses friends ( like maybe the hobbit company or the lotr’s company ). I’m curious what you’d come up with an how things go— like orc spouse is trying their hardest to be on their best behavior but is awkward about it since they don’t often hang around the other races.

If that’s to confusing lol can I have you do headcanons or something with an orc trying to court human!reader?

( I’d prefer male or true gender neutral reader pretty please )

Hello, my dear!!! Sweet pea sounds adorable! What breed is she??

I hope you enjoy this little mix of drabble and headcanons, I went with a male reader and a lovely Himbo Orc:

Honestly, your orc husband is just so enthralled with you. 

Can you say obsessed but in a hyper-healthy way, because yes he is? Anything you want, you got. 

Being polite to everyone when you two are out in public? Done. 

Not throwing a punch at a racist elf that had a thing or two to say about you two? He’ll do it, but just for you and not wanting to make you upset. 

He initiated your courting with presenting you with a blade, crafted by his own hand with intricate runes in the handle that expressed his care for your heart.

Then it went sort of spiraling from there. 

You noticed your windows were drafty and made an annoyed comment about it the next morning when he asked how you slept, how each wind gust sent a shudder down your spine. You came home from work to new windows installed and no mess. 

He always wants to take care of you. Hard day at work? No worries darling, he’s cooking dinner and offering to rub your sore muscles after a nice bubble-bath he made for you. 

“Welcome to the party-Oh,” Bilbo reared back, as if physically trying to stop himself from verbalizing his surprise. You had talked about bringing your spouse to this gathering, but he never expected an orc. 

“Welcome, welcome,” Bilbo got over his surprise as your husband introduced himself, smiling politely and moving to the side to allow the two of you entry. 

“Who’s at the door?” Ori called from the kitchen, exiting while holding a slice of bread- eyes wide and curious.

“(Y/n)! Welcome, laddie!” Bofur pushed past Ori, rushing to give you a hug whilst your husband stood awkwardly to the side. 

“Who’s this?” Bofur said, noticing the tall fellow awkwardly admiring Bilbo’s knicknacks. 

“That’s my husband, he doesn’t get out much,” You murmured lowly, trying to convey the silent message to take it easy on him. 

Bofur gave a knowing nod before releasing you from the embrace and moving towards your husband. “Bofur, at your service!” 

Your poor orc husband tried his hardest not to exert any strength as he shook the dwarf’s hand, seemingly holding his breath until Bofur moved on to go find Bombur in the pantry. 

You two caught eyes and he gave a tentative smile, making you melt internally. He was trying so hard to not frighten anyone or worry you. 

A himbo who drinks “I love my husband” juice on the DAILY

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[tinytiger]

The Hobbit - Kili x F!Reader Fanfic

Masterlist

Running Through a Meadow at Top Speed.

Y/n tends to a wound during a cave exploration with the company. Kili helps her bandage it. A commotion with trolls, wargs, and orcs ensues, but Y/n and Kili fend them off. Gandalf guides them to safety in Rivendell. Y/n's heritage as King Thranduil's daughter is revealed by Elrond. She reunites with her childhood friend, Erland, making Kili slightly jealous. Y/n enjoys a relaxing bath in her luxurious room after the day's events.

TW- Injury, danger and violence.

Words- 1238

As the company went to explore the cave, Y/n took the opportunity to look at her hip. The blood was beginning to stain the f/c trousers she had worn. 

“Fuck.” She whispered under her breath. She ripped a bit of her cloak and tied it around her waist to stop the bleeding. As she did, a smooth voice caught her attention.

“You’re bleeding!?” Kili asked walking quickly to the girl.

“Oh, am I? Thank you, I didn't notice the blood staining my favourite trousers!” Y/n sarcastically snapped at him. Kili chuckled and walking up to her, helped her tie the knot. As he was doing this, Y/n looked up at him and his brown chestnut eyes were focused on the knot at her hip. He stuck his tongue out like a child. 

“You are staring,” Kili said chuckling as he finished his handy work. Y/n looked away at her muddy nails as if to cover her.

“N... No, I wasn’t,” she argued.

Suddenly a loud shout caught her attention and just as she moved out of the way, a sleigh being pulled by 10 rustabell rabbits jumped up with a crazy old man on the end. Gandalf walked towards him and greeted his old friend. The two talked in private as a howl echoed through the cavern they were in. Y/n ran to Stumpys side and tried to calm the horse down, but he was too strong and broke free of her grasp.

“Oi, Stumpy get back here now! Hey, I’m talking to you. God, you’re almost stubborn as a dwarf” she muttered as she reached the company again. With Bofur, Kili and Fili giving her a look, they all began running away from her.

“Hey, what’s wrong, don’t you guys run away from me either!” But she soon found out why.

A growl from behind her made her turn to find a warg and an orc. She belted it out of that cavern

She ran towards Kili, who to make sure that she was there, was running backwards. 

“You couldn’t have warned me, I was nearly orc dinner!” she shouted running past him and towards Thorin who was beckoning them to hide under a cliff. As they rested, a growl caught their ears.

Thorin looked at Y/n and Kili were the only to who had arrows and rutted his head towards the warg.

The two simultaneously stepped out, nocked an arrow and fired. Kili hit the warg, while Y/n hit the Orc in the head.

“Ha!” she shouted causing all the orcs to turn to her.

“Run!” she and Kili shouted as they all came running towards them.

Gandalf then magically appeared by a rock that pocked out of the ground, “This way!” he shouted, and all of the company jumped down. 

Y/n landed with her leg stretched out to the side her arms out and flipped her hair back as she contacted the ground. She quickly moved out of the way as dwarves were not the lightest at the best times but 11 of them landing on her would hurt.

There was a large thud as they all fell in, not a graceful as Y/n did.

“Ouch, you’re crushing my spleen!” Fili shouted at Balin who was being squished down by, Bombur, Thorin and Bofur.

“Oh shush, I’m sure you don’t even know where your spleen is,” Balin said.

Y/n giggled as began to walk away from the entrance and down the path, to wherever it led to. When she turned the final corner, she stopped.

Is that? 

Memories came rushing back to her as the golden turrets of Rivendale were in front of her. She was then joined by Thorin. He sighed as glared at Gandalf.

“Elves.” He muttered “Go back to the cave” 

But it was too late, Y/n had shot down the winding step path at such a speed now that the dwarves could catch up with her.

She stopped as she reached the bridge. She walked through the gate. Into a circular yard as she was halfway up the stairs the silent guards moved to corner the dwarves.

“Halt who goes there?” A tall elf with long brown hair came down to walk down the stairs but stopped as he saw Y/n.

“Your majesty.” He said bowing

Y/n froze she didn’t want to tell the dwarves about her father being King Thranduil as she knew Thorin hated him because he didn’t help when Smaug attacked them.

“Oh, and Gandalf.” Lord Elrond said as he extended his arm to shake it.

Y/n looked back at the dwarf that was being hassled but she caught the eyes of Thorin, who looked away with betrayal in his eyes.

“Oh, wall var neshanas poimning viaren swirds pt salen Ebrath?” Y/n commands the guards.

The guards move away and Gloin looks up at her and asks.

“You can speak elvish?” They all look at her with confusion.

“Yup.”

Elrond grabbed Y/n’s arm linked it with his and asked her.

“Woild viaren freinds e lor nae wenta ent bathe?”

Gloin shouted, and Kili looked at the ground. He didn’t like how comfortable he put his hands on you.

“No Gloin he offered if you wanted food and a bath!” Y/n explained as the dwarves drew their swords.

“Oh, well then lead the way then,” Gloin said.

Elrond led the company to the castle and at the doorway, a dark-haired elf, (y/n) recognised, was leaning against the door. His golden eyes sparkled as he caught sight of her.

“Erland!” she shouted and ran towards the young elf and jumped into his arms.

“Gwenie! he cheered as he hugged the girl back.

The two had been friends since they were young children, but when Y/n went to live with Bilbo she couldn’t see him anymore.

���It’s been years.” She said as Erland put her back on the ground and his hands on her waist.

“It has. It looks like have been on an adventure you have always dreamed of Princess. You smell of dwarf!” He laughed as the company entered the great hall. 

“You don’t have to call me Princess, my father isn’t here to yell at you,” Y/n said as she walked away from and to the death glaring at Kili. To follow them.

But Elrond caught her arm and told her to follow Erland to her room.

As the two walked away from the company, Kili’s heart twitched as Erland put his arm around her shoulder. He glanced at Kili and winked at him.

The room was gorgeous. It had a massive bed draped in f/c drapes and a couple of fluffy cushions. On the door was a f/c dress which reached the floor. 

“The bath is in there and Elrond wants you to wear that to dinner. You remember where the hall is.” He asked as his golden eyes followed her around the room.

“Yeah,” she said pulling at the sleeves of the dress.

Erland left the room and she sighed. Walking into the bathroom she saw that a bath had been made already. She slipped in after removing her clothes and hissed as the warm water fixed her wounds on her hip.

“Ah, it's been a long day.” She muttered to herself as she closed her eyes to have her well-needed rest.

[lathalea]

good day my king, it’s jaybird again. i was wondering if you could share any recipes of bombur’s, namely one with potatoes and hearty protein (i know how dwarves favor a carnivorous diet). i’m in need of suggestions for an important dinner i am to cook for some dear friends of mine, and many reliable sources tell me how savory his cooking always is. i hope you’re having a restful day, it’s probably getting very cold around the mountain now. stay warm!

sincerely, jaybird

🍪

Dear Lady Jaybird,

It is a rare honour to receive your letter. I hope the raven I am sending to you with my reply arrives on time and in good health. During the last two weeks we have had three large snowstorms and only today the weather has cleared sufficiently to allow Rawk to travel. If you would be so kind as to ensure that he is warm, well-fed and sufficiently rested before he embarks on the return trip, I would be endlessly grateful.

As you can perhaps imagine, this has been a busy time for Bombur, but as soon as he heard that you are in search of a fitting meal for your friends, he provided me with one of his favourite recipes. He asks your forgiveness since he is not familiar with the units of measurement or volume you prefer nor is he aware of your food preferences or allergies (if any). Please feel free to adjust the recipe as you see fit.

Bombur’s Hearty Winter Casserole

INGREDIENTS 4.5 lbs /2 kgs potatoes 2.5 lbs/1 kg smoked sausage 0.7 lb/300 g smoked bacon 4 onions 4 carrots 0.9 lbs / 400 g green peas (canned green peas work well too) Shredded cheese of your choice (as much as you like) Salt, pepper

METHOD

1. Peel and boil the potatoes until they are still a bit hard. "We do not want them to turn into a mush!" Bombur says.

2. Peel and slice the carrots and onions. When the potatoes have cooled down, slice them too. The slices should not be too thin. 

3. Grease a cast-iron pot (Bofur’s favourite!) or a casserole with oil. Preheat the oven to 350*F/180*C. You can also prepare it on a stovetop or over a fire if you happen to find yourself in wilderness. In that case, you can add half a cup of water at the end and cover the pot with a lid.

3. Slice the sausage and bacon and then fry until golden brown. Bombur says that a bit thicker slices work very well here.

4. Put a layer of smoked bacon on the bottom of the casserole.

5. The next layer should contain potato, carrot and onion slices on top of the bacon. Add some green peas. Season the layer with salt and pepper.

6. Layer the sausage on top of the vegetables.

7. Repeat layers as many times as you need.

8. Put a few slices of bacon on top as the last layer.

9.  Bake for about 30 minutes.

10. Open the oven, sprinkle with shredded cheese.

11. Bake for around 15 minutes more or until the cheese melts nicely.

12. Time to eat! 

Attached to this letter you will find a picture of this fine meal made by the talented Ori.

Both Bombur and I hope that you and your friends will find this meal to your liking!

Your humble servant,

👑 Thorin Oakenshield

[soralinklokidottirofmirkwood]

The Hobbit x Neko heterochromic teen reader part 2.

The company is at Beorn’s house (I made the image above from my Samsung phone like 2 years ago)

It's been 3 months since I meet the company, over the time I've been with them they became like a family to me Thorin and Bilbo were like parents, Gandalf, Balin, Dori and Oin were like grandfathers (Dori being the cooler one), Dwalin, Gloin, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, and Nori we're like uncles, Fili, Kili, and Ori were like the big brothers I never had. Bilbo was on the look out for Orcs but said he saw a huge bear and that's when Gandalf said something about a house near bye, we ran until we got to the house with the huge bear not far behind us, we all got into the house and slammed the door.

Thorin: "what is that?"

Gandalf: "that is our host!"

It then came to me that our host is a skin changer how do I know?

S/N told me stories about skin changers and how they’re animal forms are bigger than the ones we see, I was snapped out of my thoughts “Get some rest we leave for Mirkwood in the morning.” Gandalf said walking over to a Haye stack as the rest of us went to a stack of our own with me and Bilbo sharing a stack.

That night:

While I was asleep with Bilbo next to me, the door opened.

Slowly opening my eyes I saw a blurry figure walking in ‘Is that the skin changer?’ I asked myself slowly falling back to sleep.

In the morning:

My eyes fluttered open as Bilbo gently woke me as we are meeting our host, I followed Bilbo to the door as he puts his coat back on and I put my cloak back on and pulled on my hood.

Gandalf Is giving instructions “Y/N, Bilbo and I will go out first, the rest of you come out in pairs! Bombur, you count as two so you should come out alone and Thorin come out last.” After Gandalf finished the instructions he told the dwarves to come out when he gave the signal.

Gandalf, Bilbo and I walked over to the very tall man chopping wood he was very hairy more than Gandalf and the Dwarves he had his back turned to us “Your nerves?” Bilbo asked Gandalf “Don’t be ridiculous!” Gandalf said when we’re in front of Mr Beorn “Good morning!” Gandalf said but the skin changer didn’t seem to hear him “Morning!” Gandalf said getting Mr Beorn’s attention “Who are you?” He asked Gandalf who introduced himself “Never heard of him.” Mr Beorn said turning around to reveal that he had a beast like face and is very hairy but other than that he was handsome as my sister told me "never judge a person by their appearances!", Gandalf began to thank Mr Beorn for his hospitality while Bilbo and I poked our heads out “Who is this Little Fellow? He’s not a dwarf is he!?.” Mr Beorn asked until he noticed me “And what about the girl.” He asked looking me up and down “He is Bilbo Baggins of Bag End and she is Y/N L/N, she’s a… Y/N dear remove your hood.” Gandalf said.

I removed my cloak to reveal my ears, H/C fading to white hair and my purple and red heterochromia eyes “She’s of the neko race.” The bear skin changer said “It’s nice to meet you Mr Beorn.” I said giving him a gentle smile making the skin changer walk up to me and gently pat my head making me purr, I can hear the dwarves saying awww from the house with my sharp hearing “Little Kitten has manners.” Mr Beorn said with a smile.

After the dwarves introduced themselves we went back inside where Mr Beorn made us breakfast.

As I ate my porridge I heard him say something about being the last of his race "I know how you feel." all eyes turned to me with sympathy but Mr Beorn broke the silence "I heard that there are only 2 members of the half cat race left." I looked up "the other was my sister, she was killed by orcs trying to help our village 3 months ago, but I managed to run into the company, my new family.” As I said that everyone had small tears coming through their eyes Mr Beorn smiled "little kitties heart is in the right place, no child should go through something so tragic, though I don't like dwarves they are greedy and blind, blind to the lives they deem lesser than their own." as he says this he picks up one of the mice scattering on a chess board. I managed to control my urge to ponce on it since Mr Beorn cares about his animals "but orcs I hate more, Plus little kitten needs new clothes, her old ones barely look like cloths." I looked down and saw that he was right.

My skirt, outer corset, sleeves, and leggings were shredded and looked more like rags.

I was given new clothes by Mr Beorn (imagine above but the tunic is in your favorite colors) I put my choker, pendant, armband, boots, belt, fingerless gloves and cloak back on but when I took off my old clothes I saw my late dad's sword attached to the back of my old dress "sis must have put it there before I ran." I attached it to my belt and got out to meet with the company, they nearly fanboyed at the sight of me "you look amazing Sister," big brother Ori said in awe, Thorin saw my Sword "have you always had that?" I looked at Dad's sword "it belonged to my late father, he was a warrior but retired after my late mother fell pregnant with me." everyone was so amazed but saddened by the tale "it must be hard growing up without your parents little one but your still strong your family would be so proud of you, now what do you need!?"

We are now riding to Mirkwood but before we go Beorn told us to be careful of the forest as it will drive us to insanity. We finally made it to a haunted looking forest "somethings not right about these place!" I thought while gazing at the dark forest that had Eru knows what roaming around in It.

As we stoped I could see Beorn in his bear form in the distance "may Eru be with you new friend." I whispered until Gandalf said "reales the ponies, let them return to their master!" as we released them Gandalf took his horse to go somewhere (as usual🙄) but before leaving he said "stay on the path", we walked in and I felt a dark energy from the forest as if it's been ill for centuries.

[fellowshipofthefics]

THIS IS THE LAST OFFICIAL UPDATE FOR ROUND 1! 

Winners will be announced at 9am CST on Mar. 9th with the start of Round 2. So there is still plenty of time to see your character through to the next round!

Don’t forget  to submit your fics to this form! AO3 or Tumblr format is accepted!

Dont’ know the rules? Check that out HERE!

RESULTS SO FAR:

Bracket A:

Thorin (10) v. Feanor (2)- THORIN is in the lead!

Lobelia (0) v. Merry (2)- MERRY is in the lead!

Nori (4) v. Eomer (3)- NORI is in the lead!

Dwalin (3) v. Dis (3)- It’s a tie! (Both characters will move on.)

Kili (3) v. Narvi (0)- KILI is in the lead!

Dori (2) v. Maedhros (10)- MAEDHROS is in the lead!

Eowyn (0) v. Elrond (3)- ELROND is in the lead!

Frodo (3) v. Sauron (0)- FRODO is in the lead!

Bracket B:

Ori (34) v. LOTR Wild Card (0)- ORI is in the lead!

Haldir (0) v. Oin (1)- OIN is in the lead!

Thranduil (1) v. Lindir (0)- THRANDUIL is in the lead!

Boromir (8) v. Dain (0)- BOROMIR is in the lead!

Aragorn (3) v. Elros (2)- ARAGORN is in the lead!

Bombur (0) v. Erestor (2)- ERESTOR is in the lead!

Arwen (0) v. Glorfindel (1)- GLORFINDEL is in the lead!

Fili (7) v. Galadriel (0)- FILI is in the lead!

Bracket C:

Bilbo (14) v. Azog (1)/Belladonna (1)/Bungo (1)/Thror (1)- BILBO is in the lead!

Faramir (2) v. Pippin (3)- PIPPIN is in the lead!

Gimli (2) v. Fingon (8)- FINGON is in the lead!

Bofur (1) v. Melkor (0)- BOFUR is in the lead!

Bard (2) v. Celebrimbor (2)- It’s a tie! (Both characters will move on.)

Legolas (2) v. Maglor (4)- MAGLOR is in the lead!

Balin (1) v. Smaug (0)- BALIN is in the lead!

Sam (4) v. Gandalf (1)- SAM is in the lead!

[ao3feed-thehobbit]

Dissonance

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ts1r63R

by EphemeralDawn

Overhead, the seven stars of Durin’s Crown gleamed: a good omen, a sign of a kingdom to be claimed. The Hammer, unclouded: decisive action to be taken. And the diamond shape of the Giver’s Fruit: a bounty awaited.

But I looked into the water and saw only Thorin’s head, surrounded by the dark. And Thorin himself, watching me, with eyes like ice and blue fire both.

Words: 3709, Chapters: 1/23, Language: English

Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s) of Color, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Arkenstone, The One Ring, Fíli (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien), Dwalin (Tolkien), Balin (Tolkien), Ori (Tolkien), Nori (Tolkien), Dori (Tolkien), Bofur (Tolkien), Bombur (Tolkien), Bifur (Tolkien), Óin (Tolkien), Glóin (Tolkien), Gandalf | Mithrandir, Eagles of Manwë, Beorn (Tolkien), Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Thranduil (Tolkien)

Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s), Thorin Oakenshield & Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Tragedy, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Butterfly Effect, Not A Fix-It, Filipino Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Denial of Feelings, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Trauma, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, Big Warning For Character Death, And The Ruin Of Canon, Repressed Memories, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Dwarven Politics, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Mental Instability, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, OC is Aussie, Expect Liberal Use Of The C Bomb

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ts1r63R

[levithestripper]

if you say no they’ll cry: ori and kili

pretends not to care but secretly they really want you to still love them if they were a worm: thorin, nori, and dwalin

wants you to be a worm with them: fili and bofur

would want to be put in a little garden: bombur, bilbo, and dori

grateful you said no b/c worms terrify them: bifur and gloin

doesn’t understand why they’d want to be a worm: oin and balin

very important question: how would Thorin's company react to the "would you still love me if i was a worm" question?

[meteors-lotr]

Bilbo: Guys, we have news! We-

Fíli: You’re going to jail? For- for embezzlement? Is it- oh oh, you murdered someone! You wouldn’t! You killed- you killed the king of Dale?!

Thorin: Fíli! What are you doing?

Fíli: Sorry, I just wanted to guess before you told us

Thorin:

Bilbo:

Thorin: And you guess assassination?

Bofur: Okay Fíli, Bilbo is not going to jail

Bilbo: Thank you

Bofur: Because we’re gonna have the best attorneys in the business, right?!

Bilbo: Okay stop, this is supposed to be happy news, so can you stop shouting out all of your-

Kíli: You’re moving to Mirkwood?!

Balin: Is someone dying?

Nori: Oh, gambling addiction!

Fíli: You’re actually planning to kill the king of Dale?!

Bilbo: Dear valars...

[tolkienpressure]

Tolkien Pressure 197/200

[coffeeandparchment]

Bofur is a lad

That’s it

That’s the tea

We love and cherish James Nesbitt in this house

[pallas-cat]

anyway botfa still hurts

[tinytiger]

The Hobbit - A Kili x F!Reader Fanfic

Masterlist

Roast Dwarf

Y/n wakes to Fili, Kili, and Bofur's wake-up call and quickly joins the dwarves on their journey. As they travel, there's a hint of attraction between Y/n and Kili. The group encounters trolls, leading to Gwen's capture. Kili and the dwarves rescue her with Gandalf's help, turning the trolls to stone. After the ordeal, Kili checks on Y/n, who's bruised but okay, and they share playful banter as they continue their journey.

TW- Blood, violence, capture.

Words- 2275

Y/n was woken up by three pairs of hands shaking her, she opened her green eyes to see Fili, Kili, and Bofur smiling down at her. She sat up and looked at the clock on the mantel piece. It had just turned seven. She jumped off the sofa and run over to the hall to find her cloak, bow, and dagger. She put them on, then she walked out the door. 

The bright early morning sun shone down on her face, and she smiled. The odd hobbit or two was walking around the little village and when they passed Y/n they waved. She picked up her sword from the chair and went untie Stumpy. 

When she arrived back at the Hobbit Hole, she saw that all of the dwarves were walking out of the gate and down the path that led to the entrance of Hobbiton. Her hair was down as she galloped through the little village that had been her home for a very long time. She kept going until she was out of the village,

“Hey, guys, w-“As she turned around she saw that she had left the dwarves behind. Laughing, she got off Stumpy and leaned against a tree waiting for the crew to catch up. 

When they finally did, Thorin had a smile on his face. Kili and Fili trotted up to her and continued the trip at her side. She kept looking back to see if Bilbo was coming but every time her shoulders slumped. 

“How much you bet that he isn’t coming?” Y/n heard Dori say to Nori. 

“I bet that he is!” Kili shouted, 

“I bet 20 silvers.” He finished giving Y/n a side look, winking.

 After everyone had made their bets they all turned to Y/n, apart from Thorin. He was listening and every time someone said they were betting for him to come he would shake his head. Y/n had noticed this and then an idea popped into her head, 

“Hey Thorin!” she shouted gaining everyone’s attention, the raven hair king turned on his horse and looked at her, “I bet 70 silver that he does come, but it has to be from you!”

Everyone stopped at looked at her like she was crazy. She glared at Bofur as he whispered to Kili, whose jaw had dropped to the floor. 

“Or are you scared to lose?” Y/n said with a wide smirk on her face. The clearing was quiet then Thorin said with a smirk that could match the girls, 

“It’s on!” 

They had been riding for about ten minutes until a small voice sounded and said to stop. Recognising the voice Y/n span around to see Bilbo running after them with his red coat flowing in the wind. 

“Bilbo!” she shouted at him, but he glared at her. 

She looked down and knew she was going to be told off later. They began to walk again and she galloped up to Thorin to reclaim her price. When she arrived, he sighed and fuddled with his pocket and brought out a very large bag of silver.

 “How do I know that there is 70 in there?” She said taking the bag out of his calloused fingers.

“Just trust me, N/N” Chuckling, she tied it to her belt. She turned around to see Bilbo in the middle of Kili and Fili.

As the company rode through the hobbit lands, they swapped stories, sang, and occasionally stopped for meals- which Biblo found wasn’t often enough. The sun was shining, the horse wasn’t too grumpy, and the may air ran its fingers through Y/n's hair. 

Kili, who was next to Y/n, kept throwing glances at her as she walked next to him. The f/c of her trousers always caught his eyes when her horse went into a slight canter. His stomach would flip at the sight of her smile, and his heart beat quicker if they accidentally bumped shoulders or whenever she was practising her archery. Little did he know that there was a war similar to his happening in the girl's head as well.

Y/n constantly saw the looks Kili gave her, and she had to admit, she was doing the same. He was just too good-looking to not stare at. His jaw could cut her but was covered in tickly stubble. He was quite tall for a dwarf, he was so young and free. He was a child at heart, and that was what made her heart melt when he and Fili would run off with the elders smiling. 

Thorin caught the looks the two gave each other and smiled to himself. He always thought that Kili would be a bachelor for life, but now he saw himself in his nephew. Chasing after a girl, like he used to do to Namath. 

Then it rained, oh how it rained. The hood on Y/n ’s head was doing little to keep the rain out of her face. She was worried that Stumpy would get grumpy and throw her off. He hated the rain, and so did she. She got cold easily. Thorin finally put up his hand and grumbled, 

“We will camp here, Fili, Kili tend to the horse. Bombur make dinner, Gloin make sure he doesn’t eat it. We are all hungry.”

The dwarves set of the to their jobs while Thorin and Gandalf got into a heated argument, resulting in him stamping away like a little child, cursing at the dwarves under his breathe.

The soup was made, and all of the dwarves were digging into it, Y/n took two bowls from Balin to give to Fili and Kili. Bilbo came with her so she could eat hers with the two.

As they walked over to the clearing they were in, Bilbo cleared his throat.

“You like him, don’t you?” he said giving his daughter a sideways glance,

Y/n ’s face flared up, but she replied sassily,

“Define him, Dad, there are like 11 dwarves.” She looked down at Bilbo who chuckled and nodded his head towards their destination.

“Kili. You were never like that with any of the boys back in Hobbiton.”

Y/n sighed, lifting her head she walked over a tree stump and saw Kili and Fili leaning on a tree log looking at a path ahead of them, 

“Because I had grow up with the boys back in Hobbiton.” She whispered and silently creeped towards the two dwarves

“BOO!” she shouted and the two jumped before pulling down onto the floor so she wouldn’t be spotted by the thing they were hiding from.

Laughing quietly, she swivelled around and saw a massive mountain troll stomping past holding a horse in either hand.

“They have got Mindy and Myrtle!” Bilbo whispered in a hushed tone, “What are we gonna do?” he looked at the three younglings in front of him and they all turned around at the same time with mischievous smiles on their faces. 

Kili stood up and whispered, “Well as our official burglar, you could go get them back.” 

With a sudden flash of green, Y/n was over the log and running towards the light that the troll had stomped to.

“Wait, Y/n ”

“Y/n get back here now.”

“Mahal, give me strength”

Y/n ran off dodging trees and with a smile on her face she stopped right at the end of the clearing. She heard someone behind her a guessed it was Bilbo.

“Are you mad!” he hissed as he squatted down next to her.

“No, just not wasting time.” She said and ran over to where Myrtle was being kept. With her dragger she cut through the rope. Cheering quietly, she looked over to were Bilbo should have been.

He wasn’t.

Instead, he was standing at the side of a troll and reaching to get the large craving knife from his pocket. What is he doing?

“Bilbo no!” she hissed trying get his attention. 

The troll was moving his large arm to get the knife and Bilbo didn’t see.

Quickly, Y/n sprinted across the clearing and pushed Bilbo out of the way. Only to be grabbed by the troll herself.

His grip on her waist tight and she couldn’t breathe properly

“Here, look at what was picking my pockets, Bert!” It shouted like a young child who had just won a toy at a fair. Y/n wiggled around but the grip only tightened. 

“What is it?” one said

“Its an elf!” 

“Too small to be an elf”

“Nah, look at the ears.”

Y/n was trying to reach into her thigh holster to grab her dagger when one of the trolls grabbed her leg and hung her upside down. Her cloak fell over her face.

“ Put me down! Now!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

She went to grabbed her dagger but only to find that it had fallen out of her holster.

“Oh, gravity aren’t thou a mythic bitch.” She muttered under her breath. The trolls were still arguing over how they should eat her when Kili suddenly jumped through a bush, wielding his swords through the air, and cried

“Drop her!”

The trolls looked at him in utter confusion.

“You what?”

“I said. Drop her.” Kili replied with a shit eating grin on his face.

Then all of the company and Bilbo ran into the clearing and the troll holding Y/n by her leg threw her at Kili. The two collided and laned in the dirt a couple of meters away from the trolls. Y/n lifted her head and glared at Kili, who was beneath her. 

“Drop her?! ” she shouted at him, Kili just laugher but rolled the two over as Oin was throw in their direction. 

“Hey, at least you’re not in its nasty hands anymore.” He chuckled at her while moving a bit of hair out of her face.

The two blushed.

“Oh, will you two stop making goo-goo eyes at each other?”  Dwalin yelled as the duo got off each other and ran into the fight.

Y/n ran over to help Balin fight his troll. The fight was going well. She slid towards the troll that had grabbed her and slashed at his legs, causing a monstrous roar to echo through the clearing. She laughed as she got up onto a rock and got ready to shoot the troll in the eye, when yet again a large two pairs of hands grabbed a leg and arm each hand.

“Drop your arms or we will rip hers off!” they shouted at the dwarves who had crowed around them.

With a chink of metal all of the dwarves laid down their arms, Ori was dramatic as always. And they were all tumbled into a bag with Y/n still being held in the hand of the first troll, very pissed.

Bilbo was trying to stop them from eating everyone and the excuse were not going well with the dwarves.

“The secret to cooking dwarf is Ummm.”

“Yes.”

“I’m telling you, is to…. Skin them first!” Bilbo shouted looking at the dwarves.

The uproar from the dwarves was hilarious and Y/n had to keep her laughter in.

Luckily, one of the trolls disagree with him and the whole argument started again.

Then a troll picked up Bombur and Y/n had an idea and slight payback. As she opened her mouth she saw a figure with a grey hat run past, Gandalf. She needs to buy time.

“Wait no, not him he is infected. His got worms in his….tubes! In fact, they all have parasites, I wouldn’t risk it.” She said, trying to help her friends. With that Bombur was dropped onto the group and landed on Kili.

"Did she say parasites!?" Ori said to Kili

 "WE don't have parasites! YOU have parasites!" Kili shouted at her

Y/n rolled her eyes and looked at Thorin with a ‘Please tell your dim-witted kin to shut the hell up’ look

Thorin caught the look and understood, she was buying them time. He then kicked Kili in the backside. The all stopped wriggling and shouting and looked up at their King, had the same look on his face.

Then finally they all understood.

“I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!” Oin screams

“Mine are the biggest parasites! I have huge parasites!” Kili shouts as he wriggles a bit more.

The shouting went on for a bit of who got the biggest parasites until

“Dawn will take you all!” Gandalf stood on a rock and smashed his walking stick into the grown and let the light of day spread into the clearing turning the trolls into stone.

Luckily, the troll holding Y/n used both of his hands to cover his eyes. She fell to the floor, hard. She rubbed her butt. Ouch, I’m now glad I landed on Kili before she thought.

The company helped each other out with the bags and the roasting stick. When Kili had got out of the bag with help from his uncle, he ran over to Y/n to check if she was okay.

“You okay?” he asks as he reaches out his arm to pull her to her feet,

She had a couple of bruises on her waist, but she had fallen on rock and her right hip was bleeding. Hissing, she picked up her sword and dagger.

“If I survive this, can I go home?” Y/n asked sarcastically as she walked past him

.