#by the way yeah this looks terrible no need to sugarcoat it

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | 17.5 [cloudy days] san

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—17.5 [CLOUDY DAYS] san's thoughts

—WORD COUNT: 0.6k

—ON ROTATION: anything 4 u - lany

San looks at you and he can't help but smile. Because when he looks into your eyes, for the most part, he only sees the sun, the stars and all simple things that make life beautiful.

When it comes down to everything, San tries to be neutral. He does. Especially when he knows he can't be involved and needs to step back.

But, he hates this.

He really hates seeing you hurt, and he hates that you've been crying. That things have changed so drastically, that you've been sad time and time again. That life hasn't been so friendly. Sometimes, he doesn't understand how the universe works and why sweet, gentle souls like yourself ever had to go through things like this.

Initially, San was really interested in you. He was, he won't sugarcoat that. He saw you and thought you were  incredibly beautiful. There was something about the way you carried yourself, something in the way you gracefully moved. He would have never guessed you would have gone through the things you went through if he hadn't known JJ and them. So yeah, he did want you at one point. He still feels those feelings lingering, but in the time he's gotten to know you, he's realized how much your friendship matters the most.

How much you need him there as a friend.

And San will gladly push his feelings aside to be there. The more he got to know you, the more he understood how much of a genuine, pure person you were. You saw beauty in simplicity, joy in the littlest things, and the sun through the dark clouds. He can only imagine what you've gone through, and he doesn't wanna seem like he pities you— but he knows you need the support more than ever.

When you called him that night, he truly did panic. He wasn't sure if you got hurt again, if something terrible happened [god forbid], but he heard the shakiness in his voice and couldn't help but think of the worst possible scenario. He was glad you called though, because he wanted to be there no matter what. He's glad you're comfortable enough to turn to him because he feels the same way, and he feels like you've supported him in the short amount of time you've really gotten to know him. He just wants you happy, and he'll make sure to help you get there.

Whatever that looks like.

He was glad he could help calm you down and be of some sort of guidance, support. Hopefully, in the end, this means the end of all this. Hopefully, this means your friends finally understand where things went wrong, where things could've gone better. Everyone is just going through growing pains, trying to navigate this new leaf, this entirely new chapter in life; especially for you. But he means it when he says he knows they tried. It's just unfortunate that everything played out the way it did, and of course, it does hurt a bit to know that San was there for you in ways Minho could have been.

He'll pause though, and he'll shove that in the back of his mind. Dust it under the rug. He knows you'll always have love for Minho, just as he for you.

There is history there that he cannot compare to.

He just really, really hopes Minho will learn and grow. Not only for you, but for himself. To be better moving forward, overall. Because for the first time, behind that sun, the stars and all simple things that make life beautiful, he could see the pain, the hurt, the fear mixed within— threatening to darken all that gold you hold in those orbs.

And all he wants is for you to be happy.

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[buckyegans]

Watch and Learn ⭑ Ken Lemmons (pilot! reader)

summary: your beloved plane is quite literally falling to part in front of you—luckily, you know one hell of a mechanic. specifically for @hogans-heroes bc we need more lem!!!!

authors note: soooo why didn’t i notice raff law was jude laws son?? literally if i looked at him for more than a milisecond i could see that…anyway KEN LEMMONS!!! i am your number one fan. i love you. seriously. anyway, i don’t know Anything about planes or the engines or how to fix them, but, i can pretend!!! anyway gender neutral!! 💖

 You cringed as you watched the flames being doused out on the left side of your beloved Flying Fortress you had deemed Starcatcher—she was your pride and joy, really. You and your men had taken care of her, painted her all pretty—and now you watched from the side as all that handiwork burned and peeled off the side of the fort. The mission had been hard, and you were lucky to have gotten out with your life. But regardless, you were pretty struck to watch the beauty fall victim to the Germans, just as many of your friends had.

 Up ahead, Sergeant Ken Lemmons stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as his men started work on salvaging the fort. You approached him, worrying at your lip. You hissed as a considerable hunk of metal dropped from the propeller, clattering terribly loud against the concrete. Lemmons turned over his shoulder to look at you, and gave you a reassuring look. He beckoned you to his side with a nod of his head.

 “You got nothin’ to worry about, Major.” he said, eyes set on Starcatcher. You sighed, and shook your head. Leave it to Lemmons to sugarcoat it.

 You let out a dry chuckle. “Is she even…y’know, worth fightin’ for? I mean, wouldn’t the parts be useful elsewhere?” you questioned, brows knitting together as you watched the smoke start to fizzle out into the air as Lemmons’ crew dropped down from their ladders and began to more intricate work. The delicates, you could say.

 Lemmons shook his head. “I’d say she is. Just a shot engine, is all. Well…so far.” he said with a sheepish grin. He began to stroll towards the fort, and you followed, arms folded across your chest. He pointed. “See?” he turned to look at you.

 You looked blankly at the left engine. All you saw was burnt scraps of what used to be one half of the heart that ran your beloved plane—you blinked. “Uh, no. I don’t.” you stated, firming your lips together. Were you missing something, or…? You rubbed the back of your neck, hand brushing the sheepskin jacket your wore. You lowered your aviators, brows furrowing as you looked for whatever the hell Ken Lemmons was talking about. “Yeah, no. What are you referring to?”

 Lemmons sighed, shaking his head. He walked to grab one of the ladders, rolling it to sit right in front of the engine. He climbed halfway, before offering you a hand. You eyes it skeptically, before taking it. Your hand met the side of the ladder as you climbed your way up, before meeting the same height as Lemmons. You were turned at a weird angle to make sure there was space for both of you to stand. He gripped the ladder tightly, and pointed a finger deep inside the engine. “See?” he asked again, hope laced within his words. You looked again, craning your neck. What was this guy on about? you wondered. Lemmons shook his head, reaching his hand into the engine and popped the broken propeller off, letting it clatter noisily down the ladder, falling to the ground below you. “Okay, how about now?”

 You grinned. “Alright, yeah. I see. It looks…fixable.” you managed to say, turning to look at him. You realized you’d never been this close to the sergeant in all your time of knowing him—the feeling was foreign, but surprisingly, not unwelcome. “So, how do we fix it?”

 “We?” Lemmons scoffed. “You’re supposed to sit back and watch me do all the work, Major.” he said with a laugh, beginning to step down the ladder, careful not to disrupt your position. You were quick to hop down after him, landing roughly on your feet. He kicked the broken propeller away.

 You shook your head. “Well, maybe I want to help for a change. Is that such a bad thing? I know some stuff.” you said, somewhat defensively. “It is my plane after all…” you added pridefully.

 Lemmons rolled his eyes and laughed. “Alright. You wanna help? Come on.” Lemmons beckoned, tossing you a wrench. You looked at it, a crease between your brows. You looked back at him. “Well, don’t just stand there, Major.”

 You huffed, stifling a smile. You asked for this, you thought to yourself. “Yeah, yeah. Shut it, Sergeant.” you muttered, ditching your jacket and hat to follow him towards the worst wreckage of your plane. “What am I supposed to do?” you asked, hand up to block the bright sun from your eyes, squinting to find Lemmons’ in front of you.

 “Well…” he started, grinning as he started up the ladder. “You’re gonna have to watch and learn first, Major.” Lemmons stated, before starting work on your Starcatcher. You sighed, and nodded.

 “You bust her more and I’ll kick your ass, you hear?” you said, hands on your hips as you watched his fluid movements—he’d done this a hundred times over and over. He could get this done within hours, but still took the extra time to teach you. But why? You decided you didn’t really care about the reason. Lemmons scoffed.

 He laughed. “That’s a joke, right?” he asked, looking down at you. “Me messing up a plane…” he muttered to himself, as if it were the punchline. “I couldn’t do any worse than what you put her through.” he added, and smiled down at you.

 “Alright, enough smack talk. Show me what to do.” you said, feigning an irritated tone. You bit back a smile, jaw clenched.

 “Well, Major, c’mon up here.” he said, offering you a hand. Damn Ken Lemmons, you thought to yourself, glancing around. You didn’t give any more thought to it as you took his calloused hand, once again pressed close to him as he pointed out the smallest bits and pieces of your engine—things even you hadn’t known about. You watched and listened intently, cheek propped on your hand, brows furrowed. For a few times, you couldn’t help but look at him as he spoke, his own meeting yours—you made sure to nod along, even if you didn’t catch on. Anything to keep him talking.

 He snapped his fingers. “Did I lose you?”

 You shook your head. “What? No, I just—”

 Lemmons laughed. “I know I’m easy on the eyes, but this part is important. I don’t want you to get electrocuted or something,” he stated casually.

 You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.” you muttered, turning back to look at the engine. Lemmons smiled, but continued on his words nonetheless.

[prydainroyals]

Dear Alice: Part 3

(Continued from here.)

---

"There's also Commander Murray, who likes it when we call him 'James' while not on duty. I'm almost certain the man is as tall as a tree. He's a brilliant fitness coach. Bit of a hardass, but he still manages to make it fun. He just won't let you be miserable unless you really need to take a break."

"And he's basically the base's Mum? He fusses over us and I'd wager he volunteers to be a sort of Morale Officer when he's stationed here. He loves organising group activities, which drives me bonkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'm really grateful. We have a spare storage room in the bunker part of the base he turned into a makeshift cinema, with a big sheet, a projector, fairy lights and everything."

"He's given me advice on things too. Not just about the Navy, but about life in general. I worry about being out of touch with actual, real people... but he's about as real as they come. Kind as he is, the Commander won't sugarcoat things. He'll tell you off if you need telling off, and he actually listens to you. As in, YOU, not... your position or titles or whatever, though he takes stock of those too. I dunno how he does it. I wonder who he talks to when he needs someone to listen? Maybe he gets something out of talking to all of us. It's not my business, I know, but I can't help but marvel at what sort of person has the strength to keep on giving like that. He and Harry are a lot alike in that regard."

"I imagine they're the sort of people who lean on each other. I'd hate to think they do so much for everyone while they go it alone."

"...and aaaaall across the field, speckled like diamonds, Harry... Oh, you would never believe it, lad..."

"What? What was it? You have me in suspense!"

"Toilets. Toilets everywhere."

Harry snorted and laughed in that good-mannered but knowing way of his. That way that said he knew someone was full of it, but he wasn't actually offended.

"Oh come off it!" he smiled. "There's no possible way you could have unbolted fifty toilets, transported them to the pitch, and strewn them all over without being caught," he pointed out.

"Certainly not without flooding the school in the process," Harry added.

"Of course not! We were keen enough to pay off the custodial staff with the money we'd pooled together. You have to remember: Mother Superior Florence was a terrible woman. It was a group effort. The younger Sisters stood by us, even."

Harry snorted again at such a fantastical story, and James sat back, his expression glowing with pride at a well-spun yarn.

"Alright, fine, enough with my silly stories," James relented, eyes still twinkling. "Tell me how you're getting on with Henry. How's he been?"

Harry's look of amused incredulity softened, his smile grew until it crinkled at the corners of his deep, dark eyes. He adored and missed his fiance, but wasn't always sure when it was the right time to talk about him.

"O-oh! He's well, thank you for asking," Harry bashfully answered. "We're well, actually. It can be difficult, having a relationship long-distance like this, but... we're managing, I think," he explained.

"I won't be up here forever, and much as I love assisting with the research and medical needs of this outpost... I do want to go home."

James gave a serious nod in response. "I know how hard it can be, trying to maintain a relationship across a tundra and at least one ocean. If you ever need to talk about anything, Harry, you can come to me about it. Alright?"

Harry's eyes looked so tired, but so grateful.

"Of course. And... and you can talk to me, James. I know you must miss Ethan terribly."

James blinked in surprise at the mention of his late husband, having honestly forgotten he'd confided in Harry about the anniversary of Ethan's death over a year ago. His posture slumped a little in resigned defeat, but his own smile softened, his bravado melting away to express gratitude of his own.

"... yeah. Yeah, every day. I'll be keeping that in mind. Thank you, Harry."

---

—

Interlude continued.

Happy Pride Month. <3

Fun fact: Commander Murray is a distant cousin of Arthur's, through Arthur's mother's family.

- - -

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[riality-check]

part one part 2

Eddie doesn’t like the look on Steve’s face.

The thing is, Steve doesn’t get angry, not really. He gets annoyed and he gets frustrated and he gets petulant, but he doesn’t get angry.

But now? Steve looks like he’s barely holding himself back from screaming. Eddie hates it, and he hates himself for being the one to make Steve look like that.

Eddie doesn’t like the look on Steve’s face, but he might hate the look on Nancy’s even more.

She’s staring at Steve like she sees the secrets of the universe in his face, and they’re too awesome and terrible for her to comprehend.

He moves to put an arm around her, but she, as expected, brushes him off. She always has to be in the right mood for something like that, and Eddie guesses that sitting on her ex-boyfriend’s bedroom floor at ass o’clock in the morning because Eddie asked her to - well, he doesn’t want to think about it, not when it still has to happen - doesn’t create the right mood for Nancy to be hugged.

He can’t really hold that against her.

“I shouldn’t have sat down,” she murmurs at the same time Steve says,

“Eddie, I heard the clock, too.”

“What?” he says to both of them.

Steve answers first. “The clock in the hall? It just got fixed, and it’s, like, super loud when the house is quiet. I heard it go off right before you got out of bed.”

Oh.

Oh no.

Eddie doesn’t know what to say, not to Steve, who’s messing with his hair in the way he does only when he’s about to lose his shit, and not to Nancy, who’s taken to frowning at the floor.

He weighs out his options and comes to a pretty obvious conclusion.

He nudges Nancy gently and says, “False alarm, Drew.”

She doesn’t crack a smile. She doesn’t even look at him.

“I shouldn’t have sat down,” she repeats, a little louder and more certain.

“What difference would that have made?” Steve asks, sounding a little hysterical. 

Yup, Steve is definitely on the cusp of losing his shit.

Nancy turns to Eddie. “I should’ve gotten you up and moving and talked to you on the way to the woods. Then, we could have figured out it was a false alarm without anyone else around.”

“Nancy,” he says. “It’s okay. We’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m sorry I made you sneak out.”

“No,” she says, finally making eye contact. Her eyes have always been a little unnerving to Eddie. They’re objectively pretty and fit her face well, but they seem old. They see too much.

“It’s not okay,” she continues. “Because if it wasn’t a false alarm, then we could have had a problem. He could have taken you again. You would have gone through it again. You could have hurt someone. And I decided to sit with you and say nothing instead of figuring out if it was real and then doing what you asked me to.”

“What does sitting down have to do with it?” Steve snaps.

“Because I hesitated,” Nancy snaps back.

Silence falls, and this might be the first time in Eddie’s life that he doesn’t feel the need to break it.

Doesn’t matter. Nancy does it for him.

“I hesitated,” she repeats, and oh. Oh shit.

She sounds close to tears.

Nancy Wheeler, close to tears.

What the fuck is this night?

“I’m not supposed to hesitate,” she says, quietly but with conviction. “I don’t hesitate. I figure it out, and I do what needs to be done. That’s what I do.”

“Nancy,” Eddie says softly, pointedly ignoring Steve’s expression of abject horror.

“That’s why you asked me, isn’t it?” she challenges.

Eddie thinks back to getting out of the hospital. Of not going to Steve, or Dustin, or even Wayne first. 

Of going straight to Nancy goddamn Wheeler. They weren’t even on a first name basis then. But Eddie knew he needed ruthless, bold, good Nancy Wheeler for two different favors: be a second set of senses, and - well, he still doesn’t want to think about that.

But Eddie asked her because Nancy wouldn’t lie or sugarcoat anything. She’d figure it out and get it done. Without hesitation.

Eddie can’t look at her, so he tells the floor, “Yeah. It is.”

“Holy shit,” Steve breathes.

Neither of them pays him any mind. Eddie feels bad about it, but Nancy needs him more, and he needs her to understand.

“I shouldn’t ha-”

“You need to ask someone else to do it,” Nancy says. “Because I can’t.”

Steve rests a hand on her arm. This time, she lets it stay.

Eddie wants to tease her about playing favorites, but now is not the time.

“I can’t do what you asked me to, Eddie. It’s why I sat with you. I was trying to prolong the inevitable, and if it wasn’t a false alarm, it could have gotten all of us killed. You need to ask someone else because I can’t do it.”

She ducks her head down and whispers something so low that Eddie almost doesn’t catch it.

But he does.

“I love you too much,” she whispers.

Oh, shit. He’s the biggest asshole to walk the planet.

Eddie knows she means it in a purely platonic way, but that’s what makes it hurt more. Nancy’s already lost one friend to the Upside Down, and she told him that, for the longest time, she blamed herself.

And he asked her to lose another, at her own hands.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

part 4 part 5 final part

ao3 link

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[mobisharksona]

No one appreciates them the same way I do

Maybe, just maybe they can get along.

Azure glanced down at the man next to them. The two were in the castle’s garden.

Gingerbrave doesn’t really remember how he and Azure ended up here. It feels strange to be around Azure, even when it’s in their original form, because they look so similar to Wizard. …Also because Azure doesn’t really like him.

. . .

Azure finally broke the silence that engulfed the pair. “You look terrible today, Gingerbrave.” It said. The knight internally rolled his eyes at the demon's words.

“Thanks for the concern,” Gingerbrave replied sarcastically. He looked away from the demon's piercing gaze. “It was a long day.”

Azure didn’t respond, so Gingerbrave looked back and saw that it had returned to gazing off into the distance. Their arms were crossed over their chest. An uncomfortable silence passed over the two briefly before Azure sighed. “Look I don’t really care but, what is it you see in him.?”

…

“what?” Gingerbrave replied dumbly. He didn’t want to admit that he had no idea what Azure was talking about.

Azure glared at him before rolling their eyes exasperatedly. “Don’t play coy, Gingerbrave. You’re not exactly subtle when it comes to your feelings for Wizard. What is it? Are you in love with him? Or do you just like being around him?” Azure asked, its tone more teasing than accusing.

“sometimes I feel like you forget that Wizard is my host and that, most of the time, I see the world through his eyes.” It said as if they were answering an unspoken question. Gingerbrave sighed tiredly. “If you MUST know. Yes, I’m in love with Wizard.” There was no reason for Gingerbrave to sugarcoat anything about the way she felt about Wizard. Azure can easily read between the lines anyway.

Azure gave the knight an unimpressed look.

“What? That’s it.” Gingerbrave deadpanned. “Do you actually have anything else to say to me or are you going to sit there until I spontaneously combust?” he added. Gingerbrave could swear he heard a muffled laugh from Azure. It almost sounded amused. But then again, Azure seemed to find everything amusing. “I didn’t expect you to answer that so easily.” There was a teasing look in their eyes this time. “Yeah, me neither. Besides, it’s not like you would just leave me be if I didn’t answer so why go through the trouble and annoyance?”

Azure stared blankly for a few moments before giving a small smile. Their shoulders shook as they suppressed another chuckle.

“I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I was genuinely curious.” They ended with a snicker. It looked away from the knight and toward the dark sky. “I promise I won’t tell Wizard about this.”

The knight raised a brow at that statement. “I’m serious, Brave.” For once Azure’s voice didn’t have its usual teasing (and agitating) tone. “I know we aren’t exactly ’friends’ but….” The other demon trailed off, uncertain. “Well….” They mumbled quietly. Gingerbrave couldn’t hear them properly so he tilted his head curiously. Azure cleared their throat, seemingly embarrassed. “Nevermind.” They muttered. Gingerbrave let out a sigh.

The last thing he needs is Azure blabbing to Wizard about this. Especially since they already know that he loves Wizard.

He didn’t realize he was zoning out until Azure waved their hand in front of his face. “Hey Gingerbrave. Hello? Earth to the brave boy.” He jolted at the nickname. It’s been a while since Azure called him by that title. The last time they called him that was during… nevermind. It didn’t matter anymore. The past was the past. They changed after that incident. He’s glad. “You spacing out again?” they asked, looking mildly annoyed.

“No. Not at all.” He said quickly. Azure narrowed their eyes at Gingerbrave suspiciously. “Really, I am okay. Just tired, that's all.” He shrugged.

Azure eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer before shrugging nonchalantly as well. “Okay then. If you say so.” They gave Gingerbrave one last glance before continuing to talk about whatever the hell it was they were saying. Gingerbrave watched the other figure, feeling uneasy. His thoughts turned to wizard yet again. He hadn’t seen him all day, or for the past three days actually. That’s odd. Maybe something happened during that time. Gingerbrave mentally kicked himself for missing that.

Maybe he should check on him before going to his room. Gingerbrave nodded to himself. “hey Azure, do you know where Wizard is?” Azure shrugged “I don’t know.” They said nonchalantly. It’s almost like that little fucker didn’t care. “Aren’t you two literally connected? How do you, of all people, not know where he is.” Gingerbrave grumbled. “he’s probably in that giant library. That’s where he’s been for like the past three days.” Azure huffed. “actually I think he let me leave the subspace because I wouldn’t stop complaining.” It said. “of course..” Gingerbrave sighed. Of fucking course.

They both stood up and began heading towards the exit of the garden together. They both split ways before Gingerbrave stopped.

“Wait. Aren’t you coming back with me?” Gingerbrave asked. “Nah. Its been a while since I was able to roam the castle by myself.” Azure said casually. The knight frowned slightly at that, but decided against asking for any clarification. They left without another word. It must have been a habit of theirs. He knew he wouldn’t see them again for a good long while. At least not Physically. Gingerbrave shook his head. ’Whatever.’ He thought.

. . .

[thiscrimsonsoul]

oh, yeah, some mcu fans absolutely invalidate wanda's pain just because they hate her, although this happens with any mcu character they hate, not just wanda. it usually reads like WELL WANDA DIDN'T HAVE IT AS BAD AS (insert the name of any character that has been introduced to the mcu in the last three years) and it's like my brother in christ these are all fictional people calm down. I was referring to how the movies frame wanda's pain vs thor's, making him the butt of the joke constantly.

{out of paprikash} I think to some extent it's natural for people to be like "aw, she's in pain" as long as she does nothing bad. The second she does, then that changes to "shame on you," and the sympathy is gone. What I want to see is more people saying both, heh. It's okay to sympathize with Wanda while also feeling what she did wasn't right, because it wasn't, heh. It doesn't make her irrevocably evil or beyond redemption, it just means... she chose the path that got her here and now she needs to make a conscious choice to get back off that path.

That's not an easy mindset to be in, and I've really tried, with the limited threads I've been able to have post-DSMoM (not everyone is comfortable with the movie and writing in that part of Wanda's timeline, and that's fine) to have her internally come to terms with what she's done. Wanda's lied to herself a lot, and I think sometimes it's natural for us to want to sugarcoat our own bad things we've done to minimize the severity of them. I've tried to have her start really internalizing what she's done and really admit to herself that she has done some pretty unforgivable things. She's not to the point yet of forgiving herself by any means, my version, but she's at least at the point where she's no longer placing blame outside of herself. She's taking responsibility for what she's done, even if she doesn't quite yet understand how to go about redeeming herself for it.

But anyway, yes, you're right that the movies/shows frame Wanda's pain very differently from Thor's. With Wanda, they make excuses for her and keep trying to redeem her too fast. She enslaved Westview but look she freed them already, yay! She killed a whole lot of sorcerers and tried to kill a child but look she's crying and sorry and sacrificed herself to destroy the Darkhold, so that makes it all better! And we in the audience are just like... please stop telling us how to feel, heh. We just saw what she did, let it sink in. Let us feel the pain, let Wanda feel the pain, let it stand for a while. Then let's discuss recovery and redemption, if possible. I think they want Wanda to always stay likable, so the second they do anything bad with her, they try to fix it immediately, and that's starting to seriously ring hollow to viewers.

Whereas with Thor... he just got laughed at. By other characters, by the makers of the movies... he was just discarded at first. Oh look he got fat and sad, he's lazy and a sore loser. Also look, he's comic relief. Um... what? That... was offensive to a lot of people. I'm not a huge Thor fan and I thought that was terrible, I can't even imagine how people who really love him felt. So with Wanda they're trying to handwave and say nah shhh it's not that bad, and with Thor they're saying nah shhh it's not serious it's funny. Both are ways of invalidating the character's pain, just differently.

DO BETTER, MCU. That's really what it comes down to. XD

[s-lay-ing]

An unexpected turn of events

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

➶ WHAT MAKES THE MHA BOYS BREAK (PT. 2)

pairings: mirio togata, tenya iida, katsuki bakugo, aizawa shota, tomura shigaraki, dabi, hawks, mashirao ojiro, tamaki amajiki

warnings: hinting anxiety/anxiety attacks, reverse comfort, also tamaki’s made me cry so have fun lmao 

part one with mezo shoji, tokoyami fumikage, hanta sero, izuku midoriya, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, hitoshi shinsou here!

WHEN YOU COMFORT THEM THE MOMENT THEY BREAK DOWN: MIRIO TOGATA, TENYA IIDA, KATSUKI BAKUGO

MIRIO TOGATA

there was no way that mirio was completely fine after everything that had happened to him

he had lost his quirk, experienced a battle that could result in permanent trauma, and he lost nighteye-- the leader and hero that he had looked up to for so long

but when you told him that it was okay to be strong all the time, mirio had broken

he broke for the first time in what felt like years

“don’t worry a-ahbout me!” 

the saddest part about it?

he was smiling through his tears not even a few moments after his grin broke

his lips were trembling, his eyes were red and his entire body was shaking with suppressed sobs, but he had an unwavering smile.

and that... that was heartwrenching to look at.

his smile fell, his body trembled and he let out a strangled sobbut for some reason, this-- none of it had shown a single trace of weakness. it was a way of him to express very human emotions and reactions as everyone else could.

he wasn’t disappointing nighteye in anyway-- more of showing respect by letting it all out to be able to show genuine smiles in public

how come such human emotions were labeled as good or bad?

“i let him down,” mirio gasped, “i let him down, i hurt him, i could have saved him, and-”

“hey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. it’s just me baby, it’s just me,” you cooed as you wrapped your arms around him. “shhh, it’s just me. you’re okay.”

mirio’s hands trembled as he gripped tight onto you

his chest was getting tighter as he burst into struggled breaths. he was just so... tired.

a million thoughts zipped through his head at once, but he just had to calm the storm for a while in your arms

TENYA IIDA 

it was right after the accident in hosu city, and everything, everything had gone wrong

even though he didn’t show it at first, he felt used as an advertisement for hatsume, and then losing in a battle with todoroki and felt like he was thriving on dumb luck

he just wanted to make his brother proud, that was-

-if he could, anymore. 

he felt so weak for letting himself feel this way, his head racing and chest heaving as he struggled to breathe

letting your guard down will just make things worse. tensei wouldn’t want this.

tenya’s body visibly trembled as he let out a shaky breath in his dorm room, thinking everything over in the darkness

“iida?” you asked, knocking on the door.

immediately, his demeanor changed as he shifted over to a braver face. 

“hello, y/n!”

just breathe. they’ll be gone sooner or later. breathe.

“why are you up this late at night?” he asked.

“i was just checking in on you, but i should be asking you the same question, sonic boy,” you grinned, until you noticed his hands trembling.

and for some reason, that hurt you. his face was.. so put together with a brave smile, confident eyes, and his head held up high and posture straight and firm

but when you saw his hands trembling and an odd shifting in his chest, you knew something was up

“are you okay?” you tested the words. 

tenya tried. he tried so, so hard to smile and affirm with a confident, “yes!”

but he couldn’t.

“i-i’m not- i’m not sure-,” his voice broke into a whisper. 

“i don’t know.”

you melted into a hug next to him as you took a seat. “hey, you can tell me anything, okay? it’s okay not to have your guard up all the time, it’s not weak to show emotion. just- if you want, can you tell me what’s been going on?”

tenya took a shaky breath and pushed up his glasses. “of course, thank you for asking, i will.”

KATSUKI BAKUGO

after his fight with deku, all of the willpower left in him to hold himself together disappeared 

katsuki had been exhausted after a long day of fighting, not just physically, but emotionally

he had tried to keep his head high for as long as he could, but the moment he went to his dorm room, he just... broke.

angry tears released and he choked out heavy, strangled sobs as he pounded his fist to the ground in frustration

katsuki cursed towards whoever was there, until he found you standing behind him

he was too tired to argue.

“the fuck are you doing here,” he grumbled.

“is something wrong, 'suki?” you whispered. “i was just coming by to drop off your water bottle, you left it during hero training,” you examined his face. “are you- are you okay?”

he loved you, he really did-- but today just wasn’t a good day. “mn-no,” he managed to say.

his chest was heaving and his eyes seemed to be searching the room, as if looking for an exit.

you noticed the dark circles around his eyes and the way his lips trembled. had he been crying?

you slowly cupped his face in your hands, noses touching as you two shared breaths, inhaling and exhaling together

katsuki was too tired to pull away. 

he felt so weak.

you could hear katsuki’s breath shaking but slowly dying in volume as he held him tighter

“hey,” you said softly, brushing your thumb across his cheek. “you’re gonna be okay ‘suki. you’re gonna be okay.”

they’re pitying me.

“this?” you said, holding his bruised hand up and motioning towards his trembling figure. “this isn’t weak.” you said, as if reading his mind. “this is strong. this is brave. being emotionally vulnerable is one of the most courageous things anyone can ever do, and you are so much more than that, m’kay?”

he nodded in response. even though he didn’t express it that well, he thought of it 

WHEN YOU PROMISE TO STAY: TOMURA SHIGARAKI, HAWKS, DABI

DABI

everyone shut up i love him

all that he’s ever wanted and asked for in life was for someone to notice him for who he genuinely was, to be free to do whatever he pleased

it was late at night and you two were outside, the moon illuminating in the darkness as you slid against the wall of the city in the back of the building

“anything interesting happen?” you asked, staring up into the moon

the night was young and it had been a rough, terrible day at work for both of you, even though you had separate jobs and shfits-- the only thing that pushed you forward everyday was being able to meet with dabi right after, at exatly 11pm. 

sure, you did it every day, and it shouldn’t have been that impactful-- but for some reason, somehow, everything about talking to him was so... exhilerating. 

he didn’t reply.

“uhhm,” you shuffled nervously toward him. “dabi, you good?”

he let out a shaky exhale, which was odd.

hold the phone.

no, really, someone hold the phone because it was ringing

“oh, sorry, one sec,” you rushed, hurrying to answer. it was one of your co-workers. “hello!”

“uhuh. yeah. oh, cool... got it, mhm, be right ther-”

you noticed how dabi’s body language immediately changed as he turned around and crossed his arms gently over his chest and stared into the sky.

this really, really wasn’t like him. 

something had to be wrong.

“uhm, on second thought,” you said. “does tomorrow at... noon work for you? i have plans. yeah. mhm, sorry not tonight. yep, bye!”

dabi’s eyebrows furrowed, but he didn’t look at you. “who was that?”

“one of my coworker buddies or whatever. they wanted to have a drink with me, but i said no.”

“why’d you say no?” he deadpanned.

“uhhhm, well, you certainly don’t seem very... how should i say this, at your fullest?”

“but why?” dabi said. “you meet with me every day, and going with your friends is probably a lot easier than this. what’s so different about it..?”

you thought carefully as you shrugged casually, gently leaning your head against his shoulder. “if one of my closest pals were down, i couldn’t just... leave them like that. and even though i know you won’t tell me what’s wrong, i just.. i just don’t want you to feel alone, you know? like everyone in your life has left? and i- i don’t want to do that to you.”

even though dabi stayed relatively quiet for the rest of the night, 

just know that was the day he fell in love with you.

SHIGARAKI

nightmares were the worst. 

for the record, he didn’t get them often, but when he did, and actually reacted to it... they ended up terrible

he gasped, grasping at the air for his mother’s embrace only to be met with nothingness

he clawed at his skin as his breath hitched, trying to control himself

“tomura?” you asked. “...are- are you okay?”

“get away from me,” he trembled. “i’m a... i’m a monster.”

you furrowed your eyebrows in concern. “hey, hey, c’mon. what’s going on-”

“leave me alone.”

his sudden change in tone made you jump as you stepped back and you watched his figure tremble. 

“shigaraki.”

“if something’s wrong, don’t sugarcoat it. if something’s wrong, please, for the love of the world, tell me, okay? i just- i just want to see you... maybe..”

“what?” shigaraki deadpanned. “happy? satisfied? content? joyful? you people all want the same thing.”

“hopeful.”

shigaraki looked up. 

“i want to see you hopeful, m’kay? so just... please. you don’t need to tell me word-for-word, but-- if you need something, i’m here.”

he was not going to cry. nuhuh. no way. no way was he going to start crying. 

you wrapped your arms around him before he cautiously hugged back, letting himself slowly melt into your embrace, his satin gloves against your clothes

“hey. i promise you, i’m never going to be leaving. no matter how much you mess up, no matter how terrible you may feel-- you mean the world to me. please hold on just a little longer.”

HAWKS

it wasn’t supposed to happen until later, when he was actually able to get home and prepare himself for anxious feeling in his stomach to finally settle

but noooo, his mental state really just said yolo

so here he was, reliving his entire childhood with memories that he’d pushed down for so long, about to snap in a matter of seconds

“keigo~!”

your familiar voice rang through his head. 

he just wanted to be held by you.

the most beautiful part about being with hawks his that he genuinely didn’t care about his pride around you. he wasn’t insecure of what you thought of him. he didn’t freak out or try to act like he was fine when you were with him, because... why would he need to? 

so instead of putting on a brave face and getting scared of your voice as if being anxious was a crime, he melted into it.

“hey angel, i got you some food at the-”

“y/...y/n,” his breath hitched. your voice, that you often said you were insecure about-- was his safe haven. he felt safe when he heard your voice and let himself crumple. he didn’t have to worry about putting his walls up, because it was just you.

beautiful, loving, kind you. 

his love was something special that he gave to no one else.

“k-keigo!” 

even though you were far from him, your bags in hand and everything, you immediately dropped them and ran to your boyfriend

“hey, hey, baby, what’s going on?” 

he stood directly in front of you, his head down and not saying a word.

you let your breathing sync with his as you reached out to hold his hand, when he threw his arms around you before his trembling body was held in your embrace

“-hey,” you said, shocked by the sudden embrace, before you hugged back, slowly, rocking him back and forth. “you’re going to be okay.”

“you don’t have to tell me anything, just-- focus on me,”

“i’m never leaving you, okay? no matter what you do, you’re still going to be my hero.”

and hawks decided on that day that out of anything else in the world, you meant the most to him. 

WHEN YOU TELL THEM THAT THEY MATTER: TAMAKI AMAJIKI, MASHIRAO OJIRO, SHOTA AIZAWA

TAMAKI AMAJIKI

useless. useless. useless.

why wouldn’t his stupid quirk activate before? why couldn’t he be more optimistic? why was he always thinking about something else? why couldn’t he ever stay positive and cheery like everyone else?

how was everyone else so strong?

but laying in a hospital bed, in complete silence and vulnerability...

that scared him.

tamaki blinked back the sudden tears that prickled against his eyes-- nuhuh, no way was he about to cry when so many other people had it worse, no way he was going to break down when nighteye was dead, he was not about to cry if mirio could be strong and so many other people had it worse, and-

“tamaki, snap out if it!”

your cold hands cupped his face, as you stared him directly in the eyes. “what are you doing?”

tamaki jumped back at your sudden question. but for some reason, the way you said it wasn’t angrily, more like... a statement? a question? as if you were asking are you okay?

tamaki shook his head. “i don’t... i don’t kn-know..”

get away, get away, get away.

your hands brushed back a hair from his face as you crouched down in front of him, your hands still helping him cool down. they rested gently on his scalp and along his face as you felt his breathing grow uneasy.

“listen,” you began slowly. “i’m not saying you need to tell me what’s going on, but... i just- i have a feeling that you’re not doing okay. and i know that because no one was ever really there for me back then, so if you want to say anything--”

“--i’m here for you.”

tamaki crumpled then as he let the tears fall.

his entire mask shattered as his breath hitched, trying to hold back the sobs but only came out as strangled breaths. 

“hey, hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re okay.” 

you held up his chin and rocked him back and forth, slowly. “just because other people seem to be going through bigger things doesn’t mean that you should invalidate your problems. if something’s hurting you, that’s enough of a problem to take care of it.”

tamaki began to shake as he suddenly clutched onto you, his body trembling as he nodded. 

what would mirio, nejire, nighteye, fatgum-- what would they think of him now?

“whatever is going around in your head right now will all quiet soon, i promise you, ‘mkay?”

“it’s okay. it’s okay. you’re okay.” 

AIZAWA SHOTA

“you didn’t eat,” you said, staring at the takeout that was left in its packaging. 

you heard shota mumble under his sleeping bag. “i’ll eat after.”

“after what?” you said back from the kitchen. 

you weren’t exactly mad at him, you could say-- it was more of disappointment, maybe? concern? he had always been so concerned about his students that he forgot to take care of himself-- no wonder why he was so angry lately. 

(and no, it wasn’t his resting face, he was genuinely burnt-out the last couple of days and it wasn’t getting better.)

“shota, come on,” you said softly. “or else i’m taking your sleeping bag away from you.”

aizawa’s head emerged from the bag, the light from the laptop giving a lovely display of his eyebags. “oh?”

he smirked, even though he seemed so drained.

“yes,” you said, pointing your nose up in the air and crossing your arms. “and you better go eat before i take it away.”

aizawa raised an eyebrow, but obliged.

you watched him eat, but he kept his laptop on the table the whole time.

he was looking through the profiles of all his students, and that was-- insane

despite how much had happened to him, he always thought of someone else first, putting everyone else above him.

“you’re going to overwork yourself,” you finally said. 

“amazing,” aizawa sighed back. “had no clue.”

“oh, c’mon,” you egged. “you matter too, ya know.”

you noticed how tense his shoulders were, how his gaze was fixated to the screen and the way his veins were protruding from lack of sleep, and how red his eyes were.

sure, most of the time, this was normal-- but you just had this gut feeling that something was wrong.

“i suppose you’re not wrong,” aizawa ventured. “but sometimes, you realize that students make up most of the world. i want them to grow..”

his gaze on the screen broke.

“and for them to know a world of love and kindess, not-- whatever this is.”

you looked at him before wrapping your arms around him and kissing his forehead. “but they have a teacher who works so hard already, and you-- you deserve a break. you’re always working so hard, and you have to remember that you matter, too, okay?”

you smiled sadly. “i need to go to work, but please finish the takeout for me, hmm?”

he never told you this, of course-- but yeah, he thought of your voice every time he wanted to take a break. he never forgot the words you said. 

MASHIRAO OJIRO

being forgotten was something that came way too easily for him.

everyone in class 1a was so good at everything-- they all either had good looks, a nice voice, talents, a cool quirk, technique, charisma, and he?

ojiro felt like he didn’t have anything.

but what did it matter, right? being the forgotten one was fine to him, at least. he was able to take time for himself. 

...kind of.

he was heading back from ua into the dorms, walking alone when he realized it started to rain.

picking up his bags, he ran, putting them under his shoulders so that they didn’t get wet-- it wasn’t a long walk, but it was a lot to have to run back and make sure everything stayed dry

“wait!”

ojiro turned around to find you, carrying your backpack in the air and waving your arms. “slow-” you panted, “down! god, where’d all the rain come from??”

he chuckled slightly, until he noticed your bag getting soaked, and before he knew it, ojiro called you over and said he could carry your bag

“are you sure?” you asked, in-between breaths. “i doubt you can carry both-”

ojiro laughed and waved his tail like a hand. “i can carry it.”

your face lit up. “thanks! okay, now let’s run back, c’mon.”

you two ran as fast as you could, trying not to slip as the rain began to pour even harder against your backs. 

but when you opened the doors to the dorms and your bag was completely dry, ojiro smiled.

(also y’all he’s an underrated king DO Y’ALL KNOW HOW PRECIOUS HIS SMILE IS?? PLS-)

“thanks,” you grinned. “your quirk is actually really cool. not just for keeping stuff dry, but uh, thanks. i appreciate it.”

something inside of him made his heart swell. 

“really?” ojiro asked. “do you really- is that true?”

he didn’t want to get his hopes up too quickly, but the way you nodded proudly and affirmed it was something he could never forget.

“yeah!” you said. “just because you’re not flashy as other people doesn’t mean that you’re a plain, boring person, you know that? you’re actually really cool!”

“huh. thanks,” he noted-- and don’t worry, he walked back into his dorm room with a grin on his face the whole time.

🕭 reblog | comment | like 🕭

hey bbys! reminder to go take a break and drink some water if you’re reading this! y’all are so amazing and beautiful, and please remember that you’re valid as well. what you did today was more than enough, please remember that!! i’m very proud of you for getting through today. ily <3

qotd, what song reminds you of a fictional character 👀

join my family! 

list of family members: @kirishimuhhhhh​, @xuxisushi-1​, @kirishima-my-beloved​, @msminsuga​, @farfetchedparanoia​, @satis-mangata​, @moonhere​, @renegadedeca​, @viridevi​​, @cherriiirose​​ <3

☂ requests are open for mha + hq!! ☂

[cafeinthemoon]

Founders with s/o who’s struggling with depression and alcoholism 💔

This request  was made by @akimurachang (@nakaakiko​) and since i’ve already had some ideas for a scenario/situation like this, I decided to write it. Thank you for requesting this and for trusting my capacity to write it! Also, I hope you can forgive me for taking this long to do so. I will try not take so long to make requests from now on. Please people be patient with me, I'm trying my best XD

So here we have the Founders finding out their s/o has problems with alcohol and depression because of the proof that’s all over the place (broken bottles, etc.). How would they react to this? What would they do to take care of their loved one?

I’ll be using the same scenario for all of them, which is they going to their s/o’s house to find out why they didn’t attend to a mission about which they talked the day before and then finding s/o lying unconscious in the living room with a dripping bottle around.

Fandom: Naruto | Founders

Symbols: 💗 | ◻ | ▶▶

Warning (s): mentions to depression, emotional exhaustion/trauma and alcohol, minor injury

Hashirama 🌱

The thing with Hashirama is not that he doesn’t know that something’s not right; instead, his first reaction is to refuse to believe in his eyes

But all the signs are there for anyone to see

The missions you didn’t attend to and never justified your absence

That time when you casually met in the village and he noticed you were talking too much with a strange alteration in your tone

Somehow a mess in your house that persists and seems to increase in the weekends

A broken bottle you tossed into trash and that small cut in your hand you got while taking out the glass

Your physical tiredness (a result from your habit of using alcohol to replace food) and a decrease in your reflexes and other skills as a ninja

Hashirama is not stupid; he sees all of this

But is hard to accept that you, his strong, brave and lovely s/o could be a victim of such thing

That day when you don’t apply for the mission about which he talked to you the day before, he goes to your house to see if you’re okay and what he sees there is heartbreaking

You’re lying unconscious on your living room’s couch, and a bottle is dropped, its content dripping out and staining the floor

He takes the bottle out of the way and looks closer at you. You have an exhausted expression, your lips had some remaining drops of alcohol on them and your cheeks were wet with what he noticed to be tears

He takes the bottle to the kitchen and tries to wake you up

You wake up dizzy, with a some sort of numbness in your muscles and a terrible headache

When you recognize Hashirama by your side, you suddenly remember the mission

But before you can speak, he explains that he already sent other person in your place and that for now you have to take care of yourself

He tells you to stay where you are, because he’s going to run you a bath

When everything is ready, he takes you to the bathroom and helps you to take off your clothes and to find the shower

After the bath, he takes you to your room and leads you to bed, saying he’s going to prepare some food (it’s obvious that you’ve spent the night before and the morning drinking and haven’t eat anything)

He brings the meal to your room and doesn’t let you leave until the bowl is empty

Then he tells you to take some rest. He leaves eft a wood clone with you in case you need something while he cleans the house

With all the minor inconveniences fixed, you have time to focus on the primary stuff

Hashirama has a way to make people be honest while talking to him, and this works on you too

You tell him your story with alcohol since the start, when you drank for the first time and when it became a real problem. You reveal to him what you feel before, during and after drinking, your fears, your insecurities, your reasons and your failed attempts to stop

He is a good listener, has empathy as no other, and most important, he’s never judgmental

He assures you he would never be disgusted or look down on you because of your problem, which was your biggest fear and your reason to not speak out before

Hashirama is not he most practical person around, so he has a hard time creating measures to help you

In this matter, you show to be more prepared than him: you suggest not leaving anything that reminds you of alcohol at your sight, not going to places where they offer alcohol and things like this

He uses your suggestions to create codes you can share in case you need immediate help

You reschedule your free time to keep your mind occupied with the things you’re good at: if you feel useful, necessary to yourself and the village, your self love and self respect will grow, and with them you will to overcome your problem

He also says that if you feel comfortable, you two can seek for advise with someone who’s been through the same as you

It is true that after some weeks of improvement, there are some relapses and you are caught drinking again

And maybe Hashirama doesn’t show necessary firmness when this happens

But he compensates this with his ability to transmit the strength of his will to other people

Hashirama doesn’t let you give up on yourself, because he knows that this is the key to your cure and he wants you to be aware of that too

When you are with him, you feel like everything is possible and that even someone with your problems can be saved

Tobirama 🌊

Now, with Tobirama things seem to happen faster

Because he's not blind to the signs

So he doesn't take long to take some action

He has been observing your behavior for a while now, but never interfered because he was hoping that you would reach out to him sooner or later

But this doesn't happen, and when one day you don't show up to the mission you were assigned to just the day before, he decides to stop waiting and to do something

The first thing Tobirama feels about the situation is frustration

He thinks you weren’t being honest with him for all this time, and that you don't really trust him

In his mind, it means that to you he's not important enough for you to share your stuff with him

Tobirama doesn't say anything. He just goes to your house to confront you for your reckless attitude

Yeah, you might have some trouble in your personal life, but neglecting your obligations? That's too much

However, none of his previous observations have prepared him for what he finds there

Lying on the couch, unconscious, visibly exhausted and with a bottle on the floor right under your hand, you were nothing like the person he knew

He starts to question himself: did he take too long to do something to help you? Was it his fault?

Being the practical person he was, Tobirama doesn’t waste time with deliberations and approaches you

He’s not a medical ninja, but he doesn’t have to be to understand what happened there: you emptied that bottle, passed out and didn’t wake up because you probably started drinking late at night

He also notices that the skin of your face is a bit clingy: tears rolled down on it hours before

Tobirama’s first measure is to create Shadow Clones to work on your house while he is going to take care of you

While there’s a clone organizing the living room and other two or three verifying the conditions of the other rooms, he uses his sensory abilities to examine your chakra flow

It’s not that good

He uses some basic healing technique to bring you back to consciousness

When you wake up and understand what’s going on, you try to explain and apologize all at once, but he tells you to stay quiet

You do it, and he runs you a bath. But you can do it by yourself thanks to the jutsu he used on you, he goes to your room and comes back bringing you clean clothes

While you dress up and such, he goes to the kitchen to prepare some food. The Shadow Clone he sent there tells him about broken bottles he found on the trash. He dismisses the Clone and decides to talk to you later about this

You come to the kitchen and he puts the bowl in front of you

All the time you stay there in silence. It’s hard, after what happened, to have Tobirama’s eyes on you and not feel judged

You’re in the middle of the meal when you stop eating and break in tears

You hide your face in your hands, so you don’t see him approaching; you only notice it when you feel his hand on your hair

He invites you to a calm place where you can talk without distractions

You accept the invitation and he uses his Hiraishin to take you to a river’s shore

At first, you don't know what to say and he doesn't know what to say to encourage you. But you have known Tobirama for a while now, so you have no choice but to accept that the first words won’t come from him

You don’t try to justify yourself or explain your feelings right at first. You just tell him the sequence of events

He listens to you without interrupting, nodding to confirm he’s following everything. It’s always strange when you have to open your heart to him, cause these emotional matters are not his specialty

Still, he tries his best

He doesn’t sugarcoat anything: he clearly tells you how disappointed he is, not just because you failed with your appointment but mainly because you didn’t reach out to him

He says he wants you to trust his capacity of doing anything on his reach to help you

He then explains that he’s going to be by your side for anything you need, but you’ll need to fight for yourself if you want it to work

You explain that periods of depression and relapses are common for people in your situation, and that it’s not going to be easy for him to deal with you when they happen: your previous partners gave up on you during the process

You are going to need his strength, love and patience for the whole journey

Tobirama looks in your eyes and states that you are not just his loved one; you are part of the village, part of his family, and he won’t give up on his family without trying to save them with everything he got

Madara 🔥

Well, don’t get me wrong in this one

Madara loves you and cares about you as much as the other Grandpas

But unlike them, he has a hard time to understand that even the person he loves most has their flaws and makes mistakes

With all your qualities, abilities, and after all you have been through, how could you fall for such thing?

Yes, Tobirama also finds it difficult to understand that you have a problem that you can’t fix all by yourself, but with Madara the whole question is about strength

It was never a secret to you that weakness disgust him

nd to him, your problem with alcohol is exactly a weakness

So how can he find himself by the side of someone like you? Impossible

But the evidences are all around: the appointments you’ve missed, the alterations in your behavior during weekends, the mess in your house, the headaches and tiredness on Mondays

There was one time when he noticed a cut on your hand and immediately knew it wasn’t caused by a kunai or any other weapon

When he questioned you, you lied. He knew it, but he didn’t dig deeper

However, now its impossible to close his eyes to what’s going on

You didn’t show up to the mission you had together, so he goes after you to find out what happened

When Madara finds you lying asleep on the couch, with a bottle that must have slipped from your hand and now stains the floor with the last drops of its content, he’s confused

He really doesn’t know what to think nor how to feel about the scene

He checks your vital signs to understand the seriousness of your situation

You’ve been unconscious for a couple of hours, but your heartbeats are regular; your levels of chakra seem to be normal as well, but your reflexes will be impaired for a while and you won’t be able to stand up and walk without help

When you finally wake up, you find Madara sitting next to you. It’s clear that he has been there for a long time

You’re experiencing a terrible headache and it seems that your body doesn’t respond to your brains commands

He approaches and helps you to sit on the couch

You can’t look in his eyes. You’re so ashamed that he found you in such state that you’re unable to say anything

He helps you to leave the room and says he’s going to take care of you

You’re aware of the Clone he sent to other parts of the house under the excuse of “checking if everything is in order”, but you don’t argue; you just nod and let him manage things

The first thing he does is to take you to the bathroom. You watch while he warms up the water and brings clean clothes for you

You’re so tired that you don’t even try to protest when he helps you during your bath

It’s also when he notices more marks all over your body that remind him of that one you had on your hand

When the Clone disappears, he receives his memories and finds out that you’ve tossed some broken bottles on the trash. It’s when he finally realizes that this shattered glass are the origin of your injuries

He finds some medicine for the recent (and more serious) ones and lets you resting on your bed, only returning to bring you warm food

You think of refusing it, but it smells so good and you’re so hungry you’d just eat everything in five minutes if he wasn’t there to stop you

He then brings some medicine for the headache

When everything seems to be fixed, Madara tells you to take some rest, explaining that he will return later, and you agree in silence

Days after that, your first attempt to discuss the problem is a total failure

Like, it’s clear that Madara is concerned: the idea of seeing the person he loves following a destructive path like this is intolerable

But he’s divided between this feeling and his vision of strength and weakness, which influences his manners and his talking

So every time he says “you have a weakness”, it sounds like “you are weak”

You’re already in a fragile state, both mentally and physically; you sense you won’t take this for so long

You try to explain your side to him, but he doesn’t seem to understand

Finally you become angry enough to tell him to just leave instead of wasting his precious time with a burden like you

There’s something in Madara’s silence that seems to tell that he regrets the way he talked to you, but no apology comes from his mouth and he in fact leaves

The days pass and your situation only gets worse: while you drown in your alcohol addiction, he suffers for both of you but doesn’t take action anyway

When your absence is noticed by other ninjas (in the village itself and in missions), Madara puts his pride aside and goes after you

He comes at the last moment

You’re on a pitiful and also dangerous state

He immediately takes you to the village’s hospital and asks Hashirama to examine you, which he does, not without scolding his friend for his attitude

This time, Madara is too desperate to argue

He spends day ad night by your side, and makes it clear how much he loves you

When you wake up again and find him there, you read the regret in his eyes

He tries to say something, but you dismiss his attempt, making a sign for him to approach

You say that you current situation is like the one a war would put you through, and that you can’t get out of it by yourself:

“I need the greatest warrior beside me to win”

He kisses your forehead and holds you as tight as your conditions let him

“No. I need the greatest warrior beside me. Forever”

[fruitydiaz-archived]

with the comfort of a billion stars (and you)

chimney and eddie get high in eddie's backyard and talk about what it means to be a good father

because of @hetheybuck's tags on this post about chimney and eddie being blaze buddies

drug use | sweet conversations | stargazing

1,691 words

AO3 link

Chimney wrapped his arms around himself instinctively as he slipped out into Eddie’s backyard, rubbing his hands rapidly along the tops of his arms as he breathed out, watching his air puff out into the cold like white smoke before quickly dissipating. The bite of the cold air against his skin was a welcome reprieve to the flush brought on by too many bodies in too small of a space.

He thought he was alone for a moment, leveling out his breaths and staring up at the sky, squinting as if he could stare just long enough to actually be able to make out some stars in the black of the LA sky—before he heard another sharp intake of breath from his side. He turned, staring down the line of Eddie’s backyard, surprised to find Eddie there, alone, curled up on a lawn chair, head tipped back as he blew out a soft puff of smoke, a joint dangling from his fingers. Chimney blinked, hesitating just for a second, before he stepped off Eddie’s porch and made his way over to the chairs.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Chimney called out as he neared him. Eddie’s head tipped back forward, eyes wide, then squinting in the dark as he tried to make out who was approaching him. The corners of his lips curled up into a soft smile.

“Every once in a while. It was a bit much in there,” He explained with a shrug. Chimney smiled back at him before settling down into the chair next to Eddie.

“I hear ya.”

Eddie smiled again, glancing down at the ground and nodding a bit before stretching his arm out towards Chimney. He shuffled the joint between his fingers, holding it out in offering. Chimney considered it and then looked back at Eddie, eyebrows raised.

“You sure?”

“Course, Chim. It’s my house. What kind of host would I be if I didn’t share?”

Chimney nodded appreciatively, taking the joint and holding it up to his mouth, inhaling gently. It’d been a while since the last time he smoked and he struggled to maintain a cough, tipping his head back against the chair like Eddie had and releasing the smoke back into the air.

“God,” He said on the exhale. “It’s been a while.”

Eddie hummed in acknowledgment, taking the joint back from Chimney’s stretched out hand.

They didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, both of them staring up at the night sky, trading off the joint every once in a while, in comfortable silence.

It was nice, Chimney thought, getting to have this quiet moment with Eddie. They didn’t get to do this often; always racing off to different emergencies or juggling conversations with everyone else on the team. This was nice. He felt loose and relaxed—and maybe that had something to do with the weed—but he was also pretty sure it had something to do with Eddie, and maybe something to do with how dark the sky was, and how instinctively he knew that staring up there were actually billions of stars in the sky, and how actually he wasn’t staring at some flat surface but rather the entire universe that expanded all around them, and how even though he couldn’t see any stars, light from those stars was currently traveling at speeds he’d never ever be able to comprehend, and how some of those stars that he couldn’t see but could see under different circumstances were actually dead, like long dead, and how some stars were dying at right this very second, and how some stars were being born this very second, and how all of that made him feel very small and comforted and insignificant and important all at the same time.

He was a little high.

When Eddie’s hand knocked against his, joint stretched out between his fingers, Chimney laughed a little and waved him off. Eddie smiled, taking one last drag before tapping it out on the ashtray next to him and setting it down.

Another moment of silence stretched between them. Chimney furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m scared of being a terrible dad,” He said suddenly, no idea where the thought came from. He saw Eddie nod slowly from the corner of his eye, like he was fully expecting Chimney to say that.

“How do you do it?” He asked, turning to face Eddie, who turned back towards him, eyebrows raising. “With Christopher. How do you...how do you...not mess it up?”

Eddie snorted and took a deep breath before answering, the corners of his lips curling softly.

“I mess up all the time, Chim.”

Chimney frowned. That’s not at all what he wanted Eddie to say.

“You’ll mess up,” Eddie continued, turning forward again, his face serious. He looked back up at the sky and sighed, rolling his neck from side to side. Chimney waited for him to say more but he didn’t.

“That doesn’t actually make me feel better, Eddie,” Chimney pointed out. Eddie giggled a little. It made Chimney giggle a little, though he kept trying to force his face back down into a scowl. This was serious. He was serious.

“No, I know,” Eddie straightened up in his chair. “I think...I think the sooner you realize that you will mess up—the less you’ll...mess up.” Chimney blinked and Eddie frowned, face scrunching up like he was trying to work exactly what he was trying to say. “I mean. We’re in charge of this...little life, now, you know? Sometimes I still feel like a kid myself but—I’ve got to be responsible for my actual kid now. And...I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. My parents weren’t...the best examples. So I’m just...doing my best. That’s all we can do.”

He nodded again, more confidently this time, solid. Eddie turned back to Chimney.

“I think Christopher’s okay, right?”

“Eddie,” Chimney said, voice stern. “Christopher is amazing. And you do this all on your own. I can’t imagine. I’m...so lucky to have Maddie.”

“I don’t really do it alone,” Eddie smiled. “Buck helps a lot. And we have Carla.”

“You're his dad,” Chimney felt the need to remind him. Eddie ducked his head, smiling wider, prouder.

“I am.”

There was a pause. Chimney watched, transfixed as Eddie dug the heel of his shoe into the dirt in front of him, dragging abstract patterns into the ground. It was fascinating.

“I think we’re too hard on ourselves,” Chimney said. Eddie snorted again.

“That’s what Buck says.”

“He would know.”

“He would know.”

Another pause.

“I don’t want to be like my dad.”

“You won’t be.”

“Are you sure?”

Eddie sighed, flattening his foot and dragging it through all of the lines he had just made. Chimney was pretty sure he heard his heart break. Over the dirt art.

“Well, you will be, sometimes, in tiny ways. But you’re not him. You’re...parts of him, parts of your mom, and parts of you, you know?”

“I hope I’m mostly parts of my mom.” His voice sounded wistful.

“You’re mostly parts of you.” Eddie didn’t see the way Chimney’s face pinched in disappointment, still staring at the patch of dirt on the ground.

“I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”

“It is,” Eddie’s tone was determined and final—and with that he pulled his legs back up into the chair and leaned back, blinking back up at the stars. He looked strikingly childlike, loose and relaxed.

Chimney sniffed. He felt—he felt warm. It was cold out but he felt this warmth radiating from somewhere in his chest or maybe his stomach—somewhere in his core, he wasn’t really sure—and it spread everywhere throughout his body. He almost felt like it spread even further, encompassing Eddie and his backyard and his house along with everyone inside it and all of LA.

The last few months had been hard. The last couple of years had been hard. Hell—life had been hard. And sometimes it was easy for Chimney to get lost in that; to look at Maddie fighting to pick herself back up, to look at Albert pushing to become a firefighter, to watch the Lees take on his kid brother and watch him go through the same process their dead son had, to watch Eddie and Bobby recover from their shootings, to watch Bobby and Athena mend their relationship, to watch Buck fall apart and stitch himself back together, to watch Hen and Karen grow attached to Nia only to lose her when they had expected it all along and somehow that hurt worse, to pretend through it all that he could shoulder the responsibility of having it all together, to be the friend and partner and father that he knew he needed to be.

It wasn’t about him—but it was. And he felt heavy and tired.

But sitting next to Eddie, a little high, comforted by Eddie’s sincere words—Eddie who would never sugarcoat it, would never lie, who always chose his words with careful intention—he felt lighter. Looking up at the sky, feeling the presence of stars young and old, alive and dead, feeling but not seeing, knowing that just inside were all his friends and family, laughing and reconnecting and healing after months and years of trauma, knowing that all around them billions of lives were being lived. And while bad things happened and people got hurt—good things happened too.

Good things like his baby girl being born. Good things like his baby brother making it out of a terrible car accident.

Good things like survival and healing and happiness and love. Things that persisted.

It was all around him constantly. He didn’t feel it all the time—but he did then.

“Hey, Eddie? I love you.”

Eddie stilled for just a second before his face cracked into a wide grin and his shoulders started to shake as he giggled, again.

“I love you too, man.” Chimney swiveled around in his seat.

“No, seriously, I mean it. Family we chose, right?”

Eddie’s giggles died down and he studied Chimney’s face carefully, smile softening, before nodding.

“Yeah, Chim. Family we chose.”

[dinosaurtsukki]

❀ runaway | “you said it would be the two of us against the world” feat. kageyama tobio

⇢ day 8 of angstcember

⇢ synopsis: you and kageyama had always dreamt of leaving town and starting a new life somewhere else with just the two of you

⇢ pairing: kageyama tobio x gn!reader

⇢ word count: 2k words

ANGSTCEMBER MASTERLIST (feat. haikyuu!! and bungou stray dogs)

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“let’s run away.”

you and kageyama always said those words to each other when you were alone; always infused with meaning and yet, lacking just a bit of intention. the two of you were just kids in high school, after all, what did you know about actually running away? except now, when you raised your head to find your boyfriend staring out at the sky in the dim light coming from the lamppost overhead, you could tell that this time, he was more than serious.

“let’s run away,” he repeated, this time turning to look at you.

“tobio, how?” you shook your head. “and not just how, where?”

“anywhere,” kageyama blinked, hugging his knees tighter to his chest. he was only comfortable being vulnerable around you, after guarding himself for so long. you were just the same. maybe that’s why fate somehow drew you both together. “anywhere’s better than here,” he whispered, a hand reaching out to touch the side of your cheek where a fresh bruise had bloomed, courtesy of your father.

you looked down. he was right, anywhere was better than here. in this town, with the kind of life you had, you grew up too fast and came to realize that all you ever wanted to do was leave this place. even if it meant risking everything.

“we’ll take this car,” kageyama continued, tapping a hand on the back of the pickup truck that you two were in. “and i have some friends already in the city. remember sugawara-senpai? i still talk to him. he said he could lend us a hand. and you have that biscuit tin full of money you have stashed under your bed, right?”

“it’s not an enormous amount of money...” you said hesitantly.

“it doesn’t have to be,” kageyama said, his voice rising with excitement. “i could probably get some of my mom’s leftover jewelry, but when we get there we can both find a job. i’m already being scouted by pro-volleyball teams and i’m sure you can start work at a cafe even though you don’t have much experience.”

“tobio...”

“y/n,” kageyama held your hand, his eyes fixed on yours. you knew you wouldn’t meet a man as sincere as he was. suddenly, his gaze softened as he pressed his lips against your forehead. “i don’t want to see you getting hurt anymore. i promised you i would protect you so let me do that.”

you closed your eyes and pulled him close to you, never wanting to let go. after everything you two had been through, you knew that kageyama was someone you could trust.

“alright,” you nodded. “let’s run away.”

...

nothing could match the exhilaration you felt as you and kageyama took the pick-up truck and your belongings and left town. once night fell, you managed to sneak out of your bedroom window to where your boyfriend was already waiting down below. this was it. you two were actually going to do it.

the wind from the open window whipped through your hair as the music in the car stereo played loud through the night. as soon as you zoomed past the highway, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off your chest. 

“tobio,” you suddenly spoke up.

“yeah?” kageyama turned his head slightly to look at you.

“we can do anything,” you said with a laugh. “we can do anything.”

kageyama looked at you as if you were his whole world, and back then, at that moment, you were. “i love you, y/n,”he said aloud, not even bothering to hide his emotions like you usually did.

and he was glad he didn’t because nothing could replace the shine in your eyes when you heard it. “i love you too, tobio,” you smiled.

...

you knew it was going to be hard when you and kageyama decided to live on your own after you had just left high school. for a while, the two of you had to live in sugawara’s place while you worked as a waitress in a nearby cafe. kageyama had some trouble getting scouted because he ran away from his family. 

the exhilaration you had felt the first night after running away had begun to fade as you were faced with the reality of things. the money you earned, even after working for long hours, was just enough to pay for your share of the rent and some groceries. but you hated your job and knew you were being underpaid but what could you do? it’s not like you had any real work experience or a university degree.

“sorry i’m late,” you heard kageyama apologize as he entered the living room. he also had to get a part-time job lifting cargo at a shipping company and most nights, he came home late and tired.

“it’s alright. want me to heat this for you?” you asked, pointing at his dinner on the table.

“it’s fine,” he shook his head and sat down next to you. 

“so, how was work?”

“same as always. you don’t even need to ask me anymore.”

“i’m just doing it to be nice,” you answered coldly. 

��tch, you just want to feel good about yourself,” kageyama muttered. you glared at him. for the past few weeks, things between you have been tense but you couldn’t do much about it with both of you tired from work. 

“i just want to feel good about something!” you found yourself raising your voice. “things have been terrible ever since we moved out and i know it wasn’t going to be easy but it’s nothing compared to what we’re going through right now. we barely even see each other and when we do it’s just even more of this!”

“so what do you want me to do?!” kageyama yelled in retaliation, standing up to tower over you. “i didn’t promise that things would be easy. you’re the one who wanted to come!”

“you asked me to come with you!” you pointed your finger at his chest. “you wouldn’t have made it this far without me!”

“i would have!” kageyama swatted your hand away. “and if you hate it here so much then why don’t you leave?”

you blinked in surprise as if you had been slapped across the face. you wanted to cry but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it in front of him. instead, you stood up and left the table.

“maybe i will then,” you said softly before leaving the apartment. 

kageyama found you moments later curled up on the back of the pick-up truck. your eyes were raw from crying and your face was buried in your arms but you felt kageyama hop into the back next to you.

“y/n...” he spoke, his voice much softer than it was earlier. “i’m... sorry about what i said. i... i didn’t mean it.”

“it sounded like you did,” you said hollowly. 

“i’m sorry,” kageyama repeated. the two of you were silent for a while before you decided to sit up and lean against the side of the car beside him.

“remember that night? when you suggested that we run away?” 

“how could i forget?” kageyama chuckled beside you. “you called me from a payphone crying after you had run away from your house.”

“and then you picked me up from where i was,” you added with a smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. “you’re the only one who’s ever felt like home to me.”

“i just... wish that could be enough, even though i know it isn’t,” kageyama said softly, holding your hand and interlacing his fingers with yours. “i didn’t think things would be this hard when we came here but y/n, i still want to make things better for you. for us.”

kageyama wasn’t promising anything and you both knew he couldn’t, not at this point. but that was enough to make you believe in him. he wasn’t going to sugarcoat anything or make empty promises, but he was going to stay with you.

“i believe you, tobio,” you smiled, pressing your forehead against his. 

“so, will you stay?” he looked up at you as if you were his whole world, and back then, you were.

“i will. i’ll stay.”

...

slowly but surely, things changed for the two of you. kageyama finally managed to get scouted at a pro-volleyball team without the help of his family and you two were able to get your own place. you took classes at a local community college in-between your job as a waitress. it had been your dream for some time to set up your own cafe and after years of waiting and saving up, you were able to rent out a small, cozy place to start your dream.

for the first time since the day you and kageyama ran away, you felt that same exhilaration of new possibilities being open to you and you were eager to make that leap.

but, things also changed in other ways.

you and kageyama still didn’t see each other that much with you being busy setting up your cafe and volleyball practice in between ad campaigns. but this time, it wasn’t something you minded too much. back in the town where you grew up in, you didn’t have much of a support system with your abusive family. it had always just been kageyama having your back, and you his. now, you had friends, your fellow co-workers at the cafe, and new acquaintances coming and going every single day.

sometimes, you did stay up to greet kageyama when he got home with dinner and one of the desserts you made at the cafe. the two of you would migrate to the couch, recounting old memories or sharing new stories. the atmosphere in your house was a comfortable one, but you couldn’t say that being with kageyama made you happy the way you used to.

realizing that did hurt. you couldn’t help but remember all the times you had cried in his arms or the first time you watched his walls break down and swore you would do anything for him. kageyama had been your home for the longest time. only now, you didn’t need one. you could make one for yourself.

“so, after all these years, huh?” kageyama said after you broke the news to him. the two of you were seated at the dining table with cups of half-finished coffee between you two.

“i feel like i should apologize but it had been coming for some time,” you admitted. “we both knew.” 

kageyama sipped from his mug and nodded contemplatively. he didn’t appear to be sad or angry or hurt. finally, he spoke. “you said it would be the two of us against the world.”

you bit your lip and nodded. “i did say that.”

“but we were dumb kids back then,” kageyama chuckled. “dumb kids who didn’t know what was in store for them.”

“hey, we deserve more credit than that,” you nudged his side and flashed him a smile. “if it weren’t for what we planned, if it weren’t for you, i don’t think i would have made it this far.” the expression on kageyama’s face was sad but he reached out and squeezed your hand. “no matter what, i’ll always be grateful to you for that, tobio.”

“and i’ll always remember the first person i’ve ever loved,” he said softly. when he looked at you, it was no longer as if he was looking at his whole world. but that’s alright. kageyama already had his own world and just because you were parting ways, that didn’t mean you had ceased to be in it.

a week later, you had moved out of the apartment after buying a place of your own. it was going to be lonely now without kageyama there to share it with but you didn’t mind too much. 

as you walked through the parking lot, you passed by the very pick-up truck that you and kageyama spent so much time in. longingly, you ran a hand over the bumper, remembering that night when you two promised to run away.

smiling, you spoke out loud as if you were talking to your younger selves: “we made it.”

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event taglist: @himikadafangirl @swoona-rintarou @l-dokisaki-l @laure-chan @aonenthusiast @ah-kaashi @just-a-gay-bean @linyu-sees-you @alto-march-of-death @newfriendjen @shrimpypenis​ @tenyafacesquish​ @mkkhaikyuu​

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[kyber-crystal]

➳ pickup lines || s.w.

summary: you’re oblivious to the fact that sam, your best friend is hopelessly in love with you. and it kills him inside because he’s been dropping hints for as long as he can remember. 

warnings: none, just fluff and a cliche best friends to lovers trope :) 

words: almost 2k

a/n: for @marvelsswansong​ ‘s late birthday present! sorry this was so late and that it’s so bad RIP i tried to write it in one go...anyway our boy sam deserves some more recognition sksksk

“Guess what this shirt is made of?” Sam smirked as he pointed at himself. “Boyfriend material.”

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a chuckle. “Oh, stop it.”

He slid into the seat next to you at the kitchen counter, swiping the spare muffin from your plate. “Y’know what’s on the menu today? Me-n-u.”

You just shook your head, spreading jam across your toast before biting into it. “Wow.”

“They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth,” he cleared his throat, “well, apparently, nobody has ever been standing next to you. You are absolutely breathtaking.”

“I look gross,” you argued as you tried to hide your face with one hand, “I got three hours of sleep after helping Bruce in the labs and I’m a mess.”

“Don’t be silly, Y/N. You always look beautiful. Especially to me.”

Even if he was joking, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach at his comment.

“Oh my god, will you shut UP,” Bucky groaned. “You’re cheesy as fuck, Wilson.”

“You’re just jealous because nobody likes you,” Sam retorted. 

“Ooh, shots fired,” you whispered, cupping your hands around your mouth, “need some ice for that burn, Barnes?”

“He isn’t wrong, though,” Wanda shrugged, pouring herself a mug of coffee, “the chemistry is evident here. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten together yet.”

You let out a long sigh and went back to focusing on finishing your meal, not noticing the several glances Sam stole out of the corner of his eye at you.

...

“Y/N. “

“Natasha,” you replied without breaking your concentration on murdering the punching bag in front of yourself. 

“Girl, how long are you going to keep this act up for?”

You dropped your fists by your side, sighing. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You and Wilson.”

“What about it?” you questioned as you began unwrapping the tape from your hands. She handed you your water bottle and you took a long sip, “We’re best friends. I don’t see anything special about that.”

“Best friends or not, he clearly likes you. I’m not gonna sugarcoat this: you’ve been the most oblivious idiot ever. If what he’s doing isn’t obvious enough, then I don’t know what is.”

“He does not. Sam’s just being Sam. That’s who he is. It’s in his nature to joke around.”

“Does he use pickup lines on me in every other sentence he speaks? No. Does he do that to Bucky? Never-”

“Because him and Bucky are rivals, and you guys are just f...”

“Just friends! Babe, you proved my point.”

“Oh, shut up...”

“If you don’t take matters into your own hands, then I will. You keep turning the poor man down and you don’t even know it. Tragic.”

“Natasha, I do not like any-” The redhead gave you her signature ‘look’, crossing her arms over your chest. Your shoulders sagged in defeat. “Fine. I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.”

“What reason do you have to be scared? You’ve gotten shot, you’ve led countless teams into battle before, you’ve taken out aliens with the power of your fists alone. Hell, we survived the Red Room together, and you’re afraid of catching feelings?”

“What if I embarrass myself by telling him?”

“Are you nuts? He’d be over the moon if you did so much as react to what he said. Poor guy’s feeling discouraged by your poker face. Give him a chance. He’s your best friend, you don’t wanna ruin the relationship you have together.”

“Fiiiiiine.” You whined and tossed your sweaty towel at her. “Now leave me alone so I can go take a shower.”

She laughed and tossed it back. “Alright. Tell me when you’re officially dating!”

“I hate you!”

“Love you too, babe!” she called out after you as you left the facility.

...

“SAM!” you yelled from the bathroom “Get your ass over here!”

“Am I in trouble?” he asked innocently as he peeked his head through your doorway. “You need something?”

“I forgot to bring a shirt with me. Can you get mine from the laundry? The black one?”

“Yeah, of course.” You heard him shuffling around before falling silent, then there was a knock on your door. “Here. Take this.”

“Thanks,” you nodded before taking the shirt and closing the door behind you. 

You looked down and let out a groan when you realized he’d mixed up the shirts and given you his instead - a V-neck you’d seen him wear plenty of times when you, him, and Steve went on morning runs together. It was ridiculously tight on him and you absolutely hated it because you couldn’t help but stare. But you didn’t like him. Definitely not.

Right?

Right.

You trudged down the hall to the kitchen, walking into to see Bucky’s and Sam’s awaiting smirks.

Crossing your arms, you raised an eyebrow at him, “Samuel, where is my shirt?”

“Dunno,” he feigned innocence, “I got mixed up.”

“Okay.”

“I’m no photographer, but I can picture you and me together,” he sent you a finger gun and a flirty wink. 

You rolled your eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. “You’re such a sap.”

“Y/N! Hi!” Peter dropped his backpack and rushed forward, tackling you into a big hug. 

You stumbled backwards in surprise but quickly returned the gesture, ruffling his hair playfully. “Hey, kid. How was school?”

He made a face. “Sucked. I actually need your help with an assignment. I’m supposed to interview three role models in my life about stuff and Mr. Stark is in the middle of a conference call right now so...yeah.”

“Oh!” Your eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “Me? I’m not special-”

“If you weren’t special then Ned wouldn’t constantly fangirl over you to me. He always asks me if it’s true you can shoot lasers out of your eyes and hands.”

You chuckled. “I feel honored. Count me in, Queens.”

The two of you headed off to the labs together, and as soon as you left, Sam let out a loud groan, his face falling into his hands. “She doesn’t get it. I keep throwing hints her way but she doesn’t get it at all. I don’t understand. What exactly am I doing wrong?”

“Y/N isn’t an openly affectionate person. She rarely ever tells people how she feels. She usually conveys her emotions through killing her enemies and channeling all her energy into punching bags,” Bucky replied simply. “And the occasional Mario Kart deathmatch. She’s not very easy to read.”

“Even I had a hard time getting to her,” Wanda admitted. “She’s very...private. Prefers to keep her feelings to herself.”

“Does she even have any sort of clue?” Sam looked over at the young woman with a desperate look in his eyes. “Otherwise I’ve been humiliating myself all this time, for nothing.”

“She likes you, but she’s too afraid to admit it,” Steve suddenly spoke up. All heads turned in his direction. “It’s a thing I picked up from my ma when I was young. I can read into body language. And hers, well...she likes you, Sam. She’s just very subtle about it.”

Hope glimmered in his eyes. “She does? So she doesn’t mind my pickup lines?”

The super-soldier laughed. “As terrible as some of them may be, yeah, she doesn’t. I’ve seen her walk away flustered many times.”

“What do I do now?”

“You’re gonna win her over, once and for all,” Natasha declared. “And we’re making sure of that.”

...

“Y/N.”

“Pete.” You glanced over at the teenager, who had stopped furiously scribbling notes down in his notebook, “what’s up?”

“What’s up is you and Sam.”

“What about us?” You quirked an eyebrow. “I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.” The boy wrinkled his nose, “I know he likes you, and you like him. So why do you keep pushing him away?”

“Peter-”

“Y/N, I’ve known about this since we first met. So why haven’t you made a move yet?”

“I don’t know.”

“He’s trying his hardest to win you over and you’re refusing to budge! I bet he feels so bad about it.”

“Oh, God, I know...” you rubbed your forehead and let out a long sigh, “I just don’t know how to react.”

“Send a pickup line right back at him! He loves pickup lines, so gauge his reaction on that!”

“Alright...”

"Back to Chemistry! Which you two clearly already have...”

“Queens!”

“Okay, okay!” You both burst into laughter. “Okay!”

The team had all agreed on an outdoor barbecue, so you all gathered outside on the massive rooftop of the compound to eat dinner. Tony, Thor, Steve, and Rhodey were busy flipping the meat, Wanda and Pepper were setting up the refreshments, while the others were lounging around and casually conversing with one another. 

You noticed Sam standing alone by the edge, hands stuffed in his pockets as he stared out ahead at the horizon. He seemed to be deep in thought, but as soon as he turned around and saw you approaching him, his face lit up with a grin that the others knew he only had when you were around. 

“Hey,” you offered him a small smile. You felt your heart skip a beat as you locked eyes - the early evening glow only made him look better than he already was. “Penny for your thoughts, Wilson?”

“Are you a magician? ‘Cause when I look at you, everyone else disappears,” he stated.

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you,” you replied smoothly, taking him by surprise. This was a first --

“Am I dreaming, or did Y/N just send me back a cheesy pickup line?”

“I did,” you laughed lightly, breaking into what he thought was the most beautiful sight on earth - a million-dollar smile. He’d never forget it. “How’s your week been?”

“Uneventful. You?”

Your face fell momentarily, and he felt his heart drop at the same time. “Could’ve been better.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

You took in a deep breath before responding. “Fury’s got me leading Team Alpha in a recon down south in the Outer Banks. Then as soon as I get back, I’m called to represent the team at a press conference about disaster relief. After that I’m stuck filing reports for a solid six hours and I end up only eating one meal that day. So yeah...it’s been pretty rough.”

“Did you make up for all that lost sleep, though?”

“A little. Compared to my typical three hours, I’d say 5 is a good enough improvement.”

“Progress is what matters. And you did that,” he nodded. “Look, if you ever need someone to talk to...you know I’m always here, right?”

“Definitely. That doesn’t eliminate our weekly Mario Kart competitions with Bucky, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

You stood there in silence for who knows how long, until he spoke up again.

“Did you know that when you smile, you can’t breathe?”

“Really?” You looked straight at him and gave him the brightest smile your face could produce. 

“I’m kidding. I just wanted to see you smile.”

At that moment, all the Avengers immediately stopped what they were doing and froze on the spot. 

“I think you broke her,” Peter whispered as he poked you in the shoulder multiple times, and you didn’t move. “That was smoother than butter.”

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish but no words came out, face burning with heat - the butterflies in your stomach had turned to hummingbirds. Since when did he make you feel this way?

“Yup,” Bucky coughed, “she’s definitely in love with him.”

"I’m not in love with him, I love him. I have for a while,” you muttered so quietly that he almost didn’t catch what you said. 

Now, it was Sam’s turn to be left speechless.

[taxicabinmemphis]

“I’m exhausted” Logan and whatever side you want (can be platonic or romantic), Logan's experiencing emotions he's not used to and it's draining

so i’m a sucker for analogical and this got long. tho honestly this is me we’re talking about so what did you expect?

“Logan!” Virgil exclaimed, slamming the logical side’s door open. “What in the name of Ray Toro are we going to do about Thomas driving near a club at night on Wednesday? That’s the route you suggested he take! But Thomas is going to get killed by a drunk driver if that happens! So, what do we do?!”

Logan sighed, picking his head up from the table on which it was resting. He put his glasses on, facing the anxious side. “We’ll be fine, Virgil. However, if it bothers you so much we can go on another street. Also, will you please knock next time?”

Virgil’s exclamations and anxiety-fueled antics stopped, and he finally got a good look at the logical side. He looked terrible.

“You good, L?”

Logan rolled his eyes, turning his head away from Virgil so the side couldn’t take notice of his messy state. “I’m fine. I have given you what you required, so unless you have any other qualms you wish me to take care of, please leave.”

“Yeah, I have one more ‘qualm’ or whatever you called it,” Virgil said, approaching Logan. “You.”

Logan exhaled, giving Virgil an irritated look. “Yes, of course. What did I do this time?”

Virgil sat on Logan’s table, on his left, and gave him a scrutinizing look. “You’ve done nothing wrong, as per usual, but you’re a mess.”

“Thank you,” Logan said sarcastically, though Virgil’s ‘as per usual’ did lighten his mood by the tiniest fraction.

“I don’t mean it as a thing you’ve done wrong, but...” Virgil gave him a once-over. “Your hair is a mess, your glasses are crooked and weren’t even on when I came in, your tie is incredibly loose, your top button is undone, and your shoes are untied. If I wore your clothing, that would be expected of me and might even be considered nice, but this is you we’re talking about.” He paused, looking into Logan’s eyes. “What’s going on with you, buddy?”

Logan tried to fix his hair, adjusted his glasses, and tied his shoes. He left his shirt and tie the way they were as fixing them would feel restricting. He had loosened his tie and unbutton the top button of his shirt a few hours before because he felt like they were hindering his breathing.

“This is a worry I will not be calming for you. I’d greatly appreciate it if you would leave and not tell anyone about what you saw here.”

“No.”

“Look, I’m not in a compromising situation. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“You just told me,” Virgil said slowly, “me, not to worry.”

Logan sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. “Yes, I realize my mistake. Of course you’re worried. Fine. Worry somewhere that isn’t my room, please.”

Virgil crossed his arms. “Rude.”

“Exactly. No one wants to be around rude people. Leave me alone.”

Virgil shook his head, putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder, the logical side immediately shrugging it off. “I’m worried about you, dude. I can’t help it, you’re the voice of reason. If you’re not doing okay, Thomas will suffer. And I don’t mean this as criticism or pressure for you to be okay, just...it’s really important to make sure you’re alright. It can’t just be dismissed as one of my normal, unimportant worries. It wouldn’t be...logical to leave you like this.”

“I’m not fond of the fact that you are likely correct,” Logan grumbled.

“Great; we’ve established that I have to stay,” Virgil stated. “So, what’s up?”

“I...” Logan trailed off, thinking about how to voice his emotions. “I’m exhausted.”

“Hmm?”

“Every day I work tirelessly to provide you all with what you need. Schedules, explanations, assistance in educational activities. I join you all in most of your discussions, offering the logical explanation or solution for the current dilemma almost immediately, and yet no one listens. No one will heed my advice, or listen to my suggestions. I would gladly do what I do with no problem if it wasn’t like talking to a wall and telling it how to deal with its issues.”

“Logan...”

“I’m just...I don’t know...” He put his head back down on the desk.

“No one means to hurt your feelings.”

“It’s not that. I’m over being hurt, or offended...”

“Then?”

“I’m just so tired, V.”

Virgil didn’t have a response to that. Logan lifted his head to look at Virgil.

“There’s nothing else to it.” Logan rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “I’m tired. Exhausted. And I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Get some sleep?” Virgil suggested. “I can talk with the others, fix our rude behavior. And I’m sorry, I know I can be rude to you-”

Logan thought back to Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Virgil had been particularly disrespectful that episode, but it was only because he thought that further conversation on the topic would only make Thomas’ situation worse and his likelihood of becoming a bad person all the more likely.

“You’ve only been rude to me recently when your anxiety was telling you that what I was doing would make things worse. Your actions were out of fear and were understandable and while I was annoyed, I am over it and require no apology.”

“Oh...okay,” Virgil replied quietly. “Thank you for understanding.”

“And talking with the others may help, if you’re up for it.”

Virgil nodded. “Maybe we could do it together? I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling, so having you there would help.”

“Of course.”

“...Would sleep help?” Virgil asked. “I know you work a lot so it could help with the fatigue. You don’t always listen to your own advice, so-”

“Not with this problem, I’m afraid,” Logan said with a grimace. “Sleep doesn’t take me away from dealing with everyone and my emotions permanently.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Emotions, huh?”

Logan sighed. “Yes. It has come to my attention that I do indeed...feel things, despite it not being logical.”

“It may not be logical, but it’s normal.” Virgil furrowed his eyebrows. “What emotions are troubling you?”

“I’m not sure I would like to talk with you about it,” Logan said bluntly. “There’s more than I know what to do with.”

“Oh. Should I get Patton?”

“No!” Logan exclaimed, eyes widening at his own volume. “Apologies. No, that would not be appreciated.”

“Is it, like, anger over not being listened to? Irritation? Insecurity?”

Logan stared at him for a moment, before answering. “Yes. Those are some of the troubling emotions.”

“Among others?”

“Among others.”

“And you don’t want to talk with me about it because...”

Logan didn’t want to answer this. He knew he’d been feeling something for the anxious side lately, and it was before he walked in the Logan decided it was likely something akin to romantic love.

Virgil was just so wonderful. He was smart, thoughtful, protective, funny (at times), beautiful, and they got along very well.

Having those types of feelings for someone, especially Virgil, scared him. He also didn’t want Virgil to know, in case it hurt their friendship or heightened his anxiety.

So, he figured it would be best not to mention it.

“I would rather not talk about it at all.”

Virgil frowned. “But you singled me out. Why?”

“Because we are currently talking.”

Virgil gave him an unimpressed look—he clearly didn’t buy it.

“I don’t want you to know.”

Virgil nodded, looking away from Logan and to his lap. “You hate me, don’t you?”

“Wha- no!” Logan objected incredulously.

“It’s okay, I get it, no need to sugarcoat it,” Virgil said pitifully. “I undermine what you do, I annoy you with my worries, I-”

“Stop,” Logan commanded firmly. “None of those things are true. I’m not having trouble with hateful emotions...I’m having trouble with their opposites. Please don’t talk to me about them.”

“You’re having trouble with...love?”

“Can’t we just leave it?”

Virgil grinned. “No. I will get to the bottom of this.”

Logan groaned, throwing his head back against the chair he was in.

“Is it Patton?” Virgil asked. “I bet it’s Patton. That’s why you’re so hurt when people don’t listen. You want him to think you’re smart and cool and you want him to notice and like you.”

“It’s not Patton.”

“No?” Virgil asked, surprised. However, he was secretly very happy. “I bet you’re lying.”

Logan didn’t understand how Virgil hadn’t caught on. “Just leave me alone, please.”

“No, we went over this,” Virgil said, exasperated. “I will now help you find love.”

“No, you won’t,” Logan disagreed. If Virgil was willing to help him with this, he obviously didn’t feel the same.

“Yes, I will,” Virgil replied. “I care about you. I won’t let you suffer through this unfamiliarity alone.”

In truth, Virgil knew because he suffered through it with his feelings for Logan. He still was suffering through it.

“The gesture is touching, but I will have to decline.”

Virgil gasped. “Is it Janus? You two are both incredibly intelligent.”

Virgil really didn’t know?

“No, it isn’t.”

Virgil put a hand to his chin in thought. “What’s he like?”

“He’s an idiot, that’s what he is,” Logan said in exasperation.

“Oh, so it’s Roman.”

Though, considering he didn’t want Virgil to know, this may have been good.

“All of you are idiots; I wasn’t specifying anything.” He pulled out a schedule for a future day and started to work on it.

“So it’s Roman.”

Logan shook his head. “No.”

Virgil paused. “It’s Remus?!”

Logan put his pen down, absolutely done. “Yes. Yes, it’s Remus. Me, the embodiment of logic, fell in love with a chaotic and crazy side who took out my teeth and hit me with a throwing star that, if I were human, would have killed me.” He gave Virgil a look.

There was a moment of silence.

“...Thomas?”

Logan threw his pen at Virgil’s head. “Get out. Leave. Leave my room, you utter and complete moron. I will not tolerate such idiocy in my sacred space of intelligence and higher thinking.”

Virgil put his hands up, jumping off the table and walking towards the door. He reached for the handle, but stopped.

He thought back to their conversation, who he’d eliminated, who he’d hadn’t, and Logan’s reactions. He remembered that time when he and Patton were in Logan’s room a week before, and Logan yelled at Patton for so much as leaning on his table. Logan just let him sit on the table for an extended period of time. Logan didn’t force him out of his room or sink out, he just told Virgil to leave multiple times. He did try to ward him off with rudeness once, but never tried again. He also defended Virgil’s actions that hurt his feelings...to Virgil. Not to mention, he described his crush as an idiot before going on to call Virgil out on his idiocy and use that to send him out of his room.

“...Oh.”

Logan knew this meant Virgil had figured it out, so he took another pen and started to write furiously.

Virgil swiveled on his heels to face Logan, a look of realization on his face. He suppressed a laugh when he saw the side turned away from him and to his work, writing quickly and fully ignoring him. He found it absolutely adorable.

He walked over to Logan slowly, hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets. He stood beside Logan’s chair, placing a hand on the top left of it. He saw Logan’s movements stiffen a bit, but otherwise stay the same.

He turned the chair so Logan was facing him. Logan’s eyes widened, his pen dropped from his hands, and he stopped moving.

Virgil tilted the chair back, and he leaned over Logan.

“You love me, don’t you?”

“It appears so.”

Virgil chuckled, getting closer to Logan.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Virgil teased.

Logan shook his head no in protest.

Virgil laughed. “If you say so. You’re already hot so I guess it’s unfair for you to be both.”

Logan’s cheeks flushed. There was a silence as the two just stared at each other for a moment.

Virgil’s eyes flickered to Logan’s lips.

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” Virgil murmured quietly.

“No,” Logan replied.

Virgil smiled, and—still tilting Logan’s chair back—kissed him like he was the most important thing in the world.

And to each other, that was exactly what they were.

~

Sorry this got long! I am such an a sucker for analogical I’m sorry. Hope you liked it! If you would like a redo, please shoot me as ask. Thanks!

[superfanficnatural]

Fact, not Fiction

Well it’s been long enough and I’ve decided to just write this all out so everyone doesn’t have to read a series of reblogs and that they can have all the information in one place. Without further adieu *cracks knuckles* let’s get started.

So this entire story between Beka (Impala-dreamer​) and Vanessa (flamencodiva) is being told one sided, so I’m here to tell the other side and yeah.

Vanessa had unfollowed Beka, not blocked, unfollowed because she didn’t appreciate the way that she did things and who she is as a person. Beka had messaged her asking why and the entire thing was born. 

“I blocked you because you ruined my night, by writing me a 90 page essay on why I’m terrible and called me a Narcissist who only cares about people who kiss my ass.” Now, I want all of you to pay attention to how Beka so expertly framed her message to make her out to be the victim. Vanessa had unfollowed her, not publicly said anything, not messaged her anything because she wanted to keep from conflict and not make it a spectacle. Then, Beka makes a post that includes the above quotation making Vanessa out to be the villain. Beka had asked exactly why Vanessa unfollowed her and she told her why, she didn’t sugarcoat it because if she did, then that would be unfair to Beka. Beka then proceeds to post about it in order to make herself out to be the victim, once again claiming, “You are a very mean, heartless person, and you think the world revolves around you and it does not. Not everyone has to like you.” I had initially made a reblog of that very post including this quote and I had responded with -

 “Please allow me to bring to light a situation that had occurred about a month or two ago. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but you had posted something that required follower interaction and after only a single hour, you had ran to the pond discord server and began complaining about how no one looks at your account and your followers don’t like you. From then on, you had gotten a lot of support from a lot of the writers in the pond. I did not want to say this because of privacy, but the fact that you have given zero privacy to Vanessa with this post, I’ve also decided to shed light on something as well.”

This was one of the many situations and events that Beka had complained about her followers. Unfortunately, I have nothing but my own word along with others that have been subjected to or have witnessed events like these. Constantly, I have found Beka complaining about how one of her fic’s flopped, how her followers don’t interact with her, and how she doesn’t like the drama from Tumblr. I think we can all agree with not liking the drama on Tumblr, but when you yourself are creating that drama, it makes it nothing less than hypocrisy. Throughout the entire post of Beka’s response she never explained anything and only told her side of the story - meaning that she is playing the victim. She expertly weaved her web of deceit and left things out on purpose to gain the support of the public so she can have all of the attention. Another thing both myself and MANY other people agree on is that Beka loves attention, constantly posting about things that make people feel bad and send her messages of encouragement even though the very things she’s complaining about, she has started. Allow me to provide some examples.

The fact that she included her almost getting into “two accidents” already makes everyone feel bad for her, getting roped into her web. The repetition of her saying that she’s the “bad guy” implants into everyone's head that she’s pleading. What else screams out “Guys come support me because everyone is making me out to be the bad guy.” Maybe you really are the bad guy, ever thought about that? The “she” that she is referring to is Vanessa and I don’t think I can find a single example of her “terrorism” ever. Oh do you mean when she “terrorizes” other writers by reblogging their stuff with encouraging messages? Is she “terrorizing” her friends when she tags them in a funny gif set? If so wow, she really does terrorize people, you’re right! 

This really made me laugh out loud.

Let me start off by reminding all of you that Vanessa is also considered a “big blog” so you going after her for doing everything you have listed here is wrong, but when you do it, you’re allowed to complain about it? Let me also direct your attention over to the hashtag, “I’m out” The sheer amount of times I have witnessed Beka hashtag something with “I’m out” is abysmal. It’s another technique she uses to get people to message her going “oh no please don’t leave!” And what makes me know that for a fact is that every single time she says that she’s “out” I see her responding to asks from people sending encouraging messages. I’m really fed up about it and I just want to share it with all of you who might not be aware of all of these things so you don’t blindly follow and defend her. I used to follow her myself, but when I realized all of these things, I separated myself from that negativity and attention seeking. 

The second I had made my initial reblog, Beka had blocked me even though I had said nothing negative and only shed light on something. That shows that she’s trying to cover it up so her image doesn’t get tarnaged. Does this not show how desperate she is to play victim? In this entire little post, she didn’t address a single thing that anyone had responded with and instead found more things to complain about, once again leaving things out to keep her status as the victim. 

Now, some people might take what I’m about to say as insensitive but I’m really only stating the facts because I am not appeased by Beka’s self victimization. 

#fine if you want me dead, ...who said that they wanted you dead? I apologize but I don’t remember a single person saying that. This is yet ANOTHER way she is trying to get people to go “Oh no! Don’t think like that! Don’t listen to the haters!” It really baffles me how good she is at playing the victim but also at how ridiculous her antics are.

Another thing I want to add in is a post that Beka had made however many months ago talking about how the “SPN Family” was becoming negative and toxic. 

Now to be honest, I think that we can all agree with this at least somewhat and I was actually proud of Beka for writing and posting this. That is, until she made it ALL about herself again.

The second that post was posted, many people tried to spread positivity and love to a lot of others by tagging all of their friends and saying that they are grateful for them and that they love them. Beka then posted the picture above. That’s when I knew she really hadn’t changed at all. She’s proving herself that she just wanted attention in that post by saying “Beka who?” Meaning that she wanted everyone to go to either her DM’s, the comment section, or her asks to send words of encouragement as ALWAYS. 

The reason this is so long is because if I simply claimed that Beka was an attention seeker, it wouldn’t make sense to have no evidence or even just a single piece of evidence. So I’ve provided many, and trust me, there are more.

This entire thing is simply to educate everyone who is either involved or is curious in the current situation, even though it seems like a diss, it’s really me just exposing Beka with facts, not fiction. 

Since Beka deleted my reblog off of her page, I’ll just paste what I said here.

This entire situation really disheartens me.

Let me start off with the fact that Vanessa (flamencodiva) has DELETED her account because of this.

The fact that you came after her for wanting to be Tumblr famous is really wrong and allow me to explain why it is. Vanessa is a close friend of mine and I talk to her almost every single day. She is THE most selfless person I have ever met and is always trying to make others happy even if it makes her sad. She constantly reblogs everyone’s writing to encourage new and upcoming writers, and writers who have been around for a while to spread POSITIVITY. She has never once complained about notes, likes, or follows so I genuinely want to know why you felt the need to say she wants to be Tumblr famous. The only reason she went on anon for that message is because you blocked her so she had no other way of contacting you about why you had blocked her. 

She had privately messaged you to keep this between the two of you but you decided to turn it public, which doesn’t make her the victim, it makes YOU the victim. Right now, everyone who have seen this post knows YOUR side of the story but not hers. Yes, she comes across aggressive, but that’s only if you give her a good reason because you had upset either her or one of her friends which she cherishes. 

“You are a very mean, heartless person, and you think the world revolves around you and it does not. Not everyone has to like you”

Please allow me to bring to light a situation that had occurred about a month or two ago. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but you had posted something that required follower interaction and after only a single hour, you had ran to the pond discord server and began complaining about how no one looks at your account and your followers don’t like you. From then on, you had gotten a lot of support from a lot of the writers in the pond. 

I did not want to say this because of privacy, but the fact that you have given zero privacy to Vanessa with this post, I’ve also decided to shed light on something as well.

Her deleting her account ABSOLUTELY discredits your argument of her wanting to be famous because now she has no account, no followers, no fics, nothing.

I’m not writing all of this to create more conflict, only to further educate a lot of the people reblogging this and supporting Beka and being extremely negative to Vanessa right now. I personally have unfollowed you for personal reasons but I have not blocked you because I do not deem it necessary and I do not encourage negativity. This post really just oozes negativity and self victimization so I had decided to throw in my ten cents. You can come after me for this or not it’s really up to you but I did not write this with the intent to attack or diss, only to educate. Have a nice day everyone ❤

[saphinc]

a guide to working in a group home !!

i absolutely love my job and the things i’ve learned from it. if you’re looking for a unique job for your next character , try this! it could also help if your character is living in / has lived in a group home! but take it with a grain of salt , because this is one house , in one company , in one state in one country! and lastly , my inbox is always open for questions! because there’s a lot i couldn’t fit in here.

terminology !

behaviors : problematic / unhealthy things that individuals do (ex: stealing, verbally abusing others, isolating )

skills : healthy things we encourage them to do , that they have expressed / signed off as something they want to work on (ex: cooking, walking, eating )

dbt : stands for dialectical behavioral therapy. this is group therapy where therapists teach individuals coping skills and distress tolerance. every client we have has to graduate dbt class and be in individual therapy , it’s in the contract.

charting : when members of the staff team write out a complete summary of each client during / at the end of their shift.

s.o. house : mental health group home for sex offenders. two of the three homes in my cluster are s.o. homes. they aren’t allowed to be around my clients.

dsp / ps / pd : direct support professional / program supervisor / program director ( more on these later ).

elope : when a client runs away or sneaks out and we don’t know where they are.

cluster : the group of houses under a pd’s direction. usually 3-5 houses.

prn : as needed medication , something that is not prescribed such as tylenol.

some quick etiquette : we call the people living in our group home with mental health, clients or individuals when we’re referring to them. when speaking to them or amongst each other we’ll call them by their initials.

general info !

when i say group home , it is literally a house. in the middle of a normal neighborhood. we’re the only group home on our block.

there are so many types ok. i work at a home for vulnerable adults with mental health. some of my co-workers come from homes with only nonverbal clients , from hospice homes , from homes with individuals with traumatic brain injuries or physical disabilities working to recover or having no one else to help them.

i have four clients that live in my group home. that is the max for my house ; others can hold more. they filter in and out. one of my clients has been in this group home for seven years. one just moved in last december.

they each have their own bedroom. they get to choose the paint for their walls and can decorate it however they want.

funding sucks. the pay sucks , most of our furniture & appliances are outdated. we have to buy the cheapest food possible to meet our budget , and the house is not in great condition. we get by , but the mental health field doesn’t have a lot of money.

our goal overall , for each client , is to get them out of here. we support them when they can’t support themselves , lift them up , help them learn coping skills & life skills until they’re equipped for independence and can move out.

my home is a 24 hour awake group home. we have to have a staff there , awake , 24 hours a day. other houses in our cluster have staff there all times of the day, but they can sleep during that time ( they pay is different of course ).

job structure !

alright , i can’t repeat it enough: this is just my company. i don’t know what the structure is like in others!

i’m at the lowest level , the least paid , but the most interaction and contact with clients : the direct support professional / mental health caretaker! i love it and wouldn’t want to take on any of the other jobs.

some of my jobs include : cooking for clients , cleaning the home , driving them places , sitting in on their therapy , mediating conflicts , teaching them coping skills , talking them through stressful times , helping them find resources. i am with them every second of my shift. they know me and the other dsps the best.

technically , there are SUPPOSED to be two dsps in the house at all times , but my house is really understaffed so we have three dsps , one for each shift , and the program supervisor is on sight with one of the dsps most of the time. the ps does: anything involving our clients’ finances , cleaning up biohazard things ,

above me, my boss, is the program supervisor. my direct boss. i don’t know how it works in other group homes but i work very closely with my ps. like i said , it might just because we’re understaffed and she’s with us all day everyday.

above them is the program director. my boss’s boss. i highly do not recommend this job. if your character has it , they are probably a very grumpy and broke person with no life outside of work. my pd is on call 24 hours a day and gets paid on salary. so , yeah. 0/10.

next is the area director , the ad. they are the boss of all the pds in a particular area. i’m not positive but i think there are four pds with their own clusters , under my area director. they usually do the hiring and communicate with the pd to negotiate , mediate and give permission for certain things.

and finally , the regional director. the regional director is in charge of 3-5 different area directors. they’re busy. we RARELY see them or hear from them. not quite sure what they do to be honest.

i do NOT know if there’s anything between this position and ceo. i have met the regional director only twice. and that’s just because the area director was on maternity leave + our house is high behavioral / violent.

the job !

we go through TONS of training. primarily first aid , self defense / holds / , 4-8 hour seminars on each disorder in our homes and de-escalation. we get certifications of this and every year we have to renew them and go through the entire trainings again..

my job is to mediate , caretake and entertain but i also have to track. u need an EXCELLENT memory for this job. and hey , i have a horrible memory so i use about half a stack of post it notes per day. it’s possible!

that being said , we track everything. the more descriptive the better. we write down notable things they said , what they were doing at what times , what prns they take during shift , what their mood is , what they eat. everything. we write it down and track it in the computer. the pd review the notes everyday.

individuals !

ok so my clients mainly come from two places: the hospital or jail. usually they are admitted into a group home program as a last resort because their families can’t take care of them or understand them.

when clients move out, it is usually to two places: the hospital or their own place. you can work with a client for months and they’ll end up losing it & being kicked out of the program / arrested. we like the other option better.

there are such a wide variety of disorders in the homes. my clients range from a constant state of psychosis from their schizophrenia , to an autistic epileptic with an intellectual disability , to a narcissistic kleptomaniac.

my clients have done terrible things in the past. when you learn of these things , you might look at them differently. a lot of staff quit after finding certain things out ( clients’ past crimes or traumas ) or seeing certain behaviors ( violence , eloping ). but here’s the thing: they are sick. there’s a reason they’re with us / in the hospital instead of jail. they did these things when their state of mind was NOT right. it is so important to separate them from what they’ve done or endured. we can’t be biased in this profession.

dynamics  !

there’s drama between clients. oh , there is. i have two clients who are very close. they team up on the other clients by intimidating them or straight up bullying them. we as staff have to interfere with this behavior and protect the clients from each other. but yeah. there’s drama.

they’ll hurt each other. they hurt us. my boss was shanked once. it happens.

i mentioned this earlier but we don’t ( and can’t ) hold this against them. we can’t hold grudges because it is their mental health that makes them act out and that’s why they are receiving our help.

we do get compensated for injuries and broken property ( glasses, etc )

we can and do call the police on our clients. they can and do call the police on us. one time a client called the cops on us because we were making fish for dinner. the police are very familiar with our house.

there are very strict boundaries between staff and clients , but some of us are with them all day every day. it’s natural that connections will form. but technically , we are not supposed to. but it always hurts when one of them graduates or leaves the program. it’s a really emotionally draining job in that way.

health !

we’re the first to get hit with pandemics. those long-term housing facilities you hear about getting covid ? yeah. that’s us.

group homes have lost their minds over the virus. i could write a whole guide on that alone , and the differences in another. what you should know is we take health risks VERY seriously. these are vulnerable adults. they will be the first to die of these diseases.

i won’t sugarcoat it ; most of my clients are not clean. they do not take care of themselves in terms of grooming or hygeine. this is for a couple reasons

the main being that this is their mental health. they either can’t / won’t get out of bed , are paranoid / afraid of it , or just hate us as staff and refuse to do anything we suggest no matter how good it might be for them.

the second ? we can’t drag them into the bathroom and make them wash their hands or shower. they do what they want , all we can do is make frequent suggestions for their health. we cannot force them to do ANYTHING. more on this later.

there are group homes that need to do toileting and bathing for their clients. we don’t at mine because we’re not a home for disabilities , but that means it stinks all the time and we go through a lot of febreeze.

laws  !

it’s their house, not staff’s. we get to the house , clock in, start our shift and leave when it’s over. we do the cleaning , the cooking , the shopping. but it is their house. they are paying rent for it.

we can’t force them to do anything. we can’t make them eat , we can’t make them take their meds , we can’t make them go anywhere. they have the right to refuse anything they want. and some of them will push our buttons just to see what will happen. the truth is ? we don’t care. we get to go home at the end of the day. it doesn’t affect us if they do or don’t do something , they’ll reap the consequences ( ie. getting fired if they stop going to work , being visited by the doctor if they refuse meds etc )

they have more rights than us. part of the reason tracking is so important is to save our own asses. if my client gets sunburned while i’m working and i don’t note that i offered sunscreen and they refused? i can get in HUGE trouble because that is neglect. we’ve lost many employees this way.

some clients have more restrictions than others. one of my clients has phone restrictions due to impulsive behavior, so we have to monitor her calls. the others can take the phone into their rooms and be private no problem.

writing !

if you’re writing a character who works in a group home , there is one absolutely essentially trait that they need to have to be successful in their job at a group home: patience. mental health clients can be vindictive , manipulative and downright bullies but we can by NO means retaliate , lose our temper with them , or hold grudges in anyway. we are de-escalating and talking calmly , every moment of our shift. that is SUPER important.

i touched on this a bit earlier , but this job is draining. you got pushed around & treated like crap by your clients everyday , cook & clean for them , etc. the pay sucks and the hours are long. if your character works here ? they are probably very tired. it’s hard not to bring the work home. you really do get attached.

[fates-theysband]

longer than usual description under cut. i can’t link to the picrew in this post because tumblr hates links but i’ll rb with a link

jojo fans will see the ugliest clashiest collection of patterns imaginable and say “yeah we can put all of that in one design and it’ll look good” and they’re right. anyway, this is my first pass at a part 6 s/i, because these precious few hours between my 10-5 saturday shift and my 1-5 sunday shift are the most time off i’m going to get in a hot and spicy second so i might as well put out SOME sort of content so nobody thinks im dead.

this s/i’s name is Laplace Capgras, and unlike the other jjba s/is they’re actually a cousin of the main family, which is one of the ways they’re kind of the odd one out of my jjba s/is (the other being that they were actually born into said main family instead of just being some downtrodden stand user kid my part 2 s/i found on the street; their dad was actually the first of those kids but he was a little older so he grew up as a younger brother rather than a child). 

their stand, Black Box Warrior, senses a designated target’s “sins” (anything that the target has done that they know deep down is wrong even if they don’t feel any conscious guilt or shame for it; if they not only don’t feel bad about it but genuinely believe it was the right thing to do Black Box Warrior can’t sense it) and, once it’s locked onto a target’s sin, doles out a punishment of its own choosing. the punishment usually fits the crime and the language for more minor sins can be hilariously lofty--think phrasing “kicking an unwanted visitor out of Laplace’s cell” as “punishing an intruder with banishment”. combat effectiveness is limited, because as far as they or anyone else knows, the only way Black Box Warrior can kill a target is if it sentences them to death, and it hasn’t ever done that.

they got sent to green dolphin on charges of first degree grand theft after using their stand to “fine” a health insurance company the money needed for the expensive experimental treatment that their dad would have to undergo to even have a chance at surviving the rare disease he had. their dad is alive and well now thanks to them so they were willing to keep their head down and serve their sentence. unfortunately, Pucci. to be more specific, unfortunately, Pucci popping out the disc with their memories of how to control their stand and basically anything that would be able to pull them out of the state they were in when they found out that the insurance company had denied coverage (that state being burning blinding rage). so Jolyne and friends first meet Laplace as a rage-filled husk of their actual self whose stand is basically dishing out punishments willy-nilly to anyone who has ever made a mistake and whose physical body is all too willing to beat the shit out of anyone who provokes them.

unfortunately for Pucci, Laplace ends up getting their ass kicked when, just by pretty much random happenstance during the fight with Jolyne, they happen to lock eyes with Weather Report and feel flutterings of...well, they know it’s not anger or hate but they don’t have time to figure out WHAT it is before they get ORA’d. once they get their memories back they’re a lot nicer, although they’re still a pretty serious person who is maybe a bit more honest than is strictly polite. like they won’t INSULT you but if they think your idea is terrible and will get you killed they’re also not going to sugarcoat it. also they get increasingly more fixated on The Power of Love as shit gets more real--not just romantic love, but all kinds. they truly did say “i got into this prison because i loved my parents and i’ll get out of it because i love my new friends and also may love one of them as something other than a friend.”

is this in any way coherent or cohesive? no. am i proud of the ideas in it anyway? yes.