#by the same man that has gotten her mother killed

[all-pacas]

if u could rewrite the dibala arc while having the same ending of Cameron leaving, Chase's future as head of diagnostics, etc, how would you do it?

I mean, I wouldn't have to change anything to get that result. I guess what I'd do is change Dibala, not the events themselves: he's no longer a major world leader, now he's just a random rich guy.

More than that: he's an abusive parent.

He owns a medium-sized company, he's wealthy, he's powerful, he's trailed by allegations of abuse and fraud but they're only allegations. He's the type of stern father figure Chase is drawn to, and they bond just like they did in The Tyrant (this version of Dibala is also catholic), and instead of an assassin, Dibala's grown son or daughter confronts him with serious abuse allegations. Dibala shrugs it off and Chase believes him.

Cameron, meanwhile, is suspicious, and she's taking it more seriously. Chase isn't… entirely dismissive of her, he agrees it's all pretty suspicious, but he's giving Dibala the benefit of the doubt, you know? It's not really his business. If you really wanted, you could make the parallels more overt: have Cameron mention that, hey, no one believed you when your mother was abusing you (because Chase has told her offscreen), and Chase being like, no, that wasn't abuse, she was just strict. Calm down. Back off.

Dibala would admit he did abuse his child, but it was a long time ago, and he's changed. Chase is cooling on him, but… okay. It was a long time ago. He's changed. His grown children are still in contact with him, how bad could it be? But then, you know. Dibala's other child is visiting with their own kids. A cute little grandson or granddaughter. And one way or another, it becomes clear that Dibala hasn't changed. He snaps at the kid, and the kid flinches. Maybe he even raises a hand, and Chase steps in, because that's what he does, he always defends kids from their parents, right? But that's the moment.

Because of the changed circumstances, I'd also change the way Dibala dies, a little. It's no longer cold blooded murder, right? But… Chase has a theory about what Dibala has. He's right. Cameron and Foreman think it's something else. They're wrong. We, and Chase, know they're wrong. We know Chase's theory is right. Chase tells Dibala "I just ran a test, you have X disease, it's curable." This was right before Dibala threatened his grandson, right before the grandson fled the room and Chase followed and comforted the kid and realized what happened. Cameron and Foreman think it is Y disease, and Chase knows they are wrong, but he's stewing. And he's mad. And he keeps his mouth shut, and Dibala dies.

There is an investigation, of course. It's not as severe, because Dibala isn't a major world leader. Chase makes it seem like they hadn't gotten the X disease results yet. It seems like an honest mistake; the hospital gets sued. His inaction (and his anger) killed a man. A shitty, abusive, terrible man — but Chase knows he could have saved him, and he didn't.

When he finally tells Cameron, thinks go more or less the same. She is initially a bit more openly supportive, because he didn't do a cold blooded murder, but she still believes he was playing God and needs to get away from House, and House is still able to convince Chase that she doesn't believe him and he should stay. Chase still picks House over her, and Cameron still leaves. Not much else changes, but the lack of criminal investigation makes way, way more sense, and Dibala's family aren't all that eager to sue or press charges.

[lolo-chi]

Oshi no ko 161.............

[blue-thief]

the order doesn't matter that much also the "not for me" tier can range from "man idgaf" to "WHAT THE FUCK"

[moonsharky]

comprehensive list of reasons bobby could be alive

he has magic blood (see: season 1)

he dressed up as dracula, a vampire for the s8 halloween episode. ya know, a very famously undead character

the funeral was quite literally livestreamed on tiktok for HOURS because they had shut down a busy street in the middle dtla and yet tim was "crossing fingers that it wouldnt get leaked"??? after the buddie rain hug got leaked already this season???

bobby "died" on good friday (or the day before for the americans) and with religion being a super important part to bobbys character...

we met bobbys mother in an episode called "holy mother of god" clearly referring to his mother. the mother of god was mary. marys (ann) son (bobby) rose from the dead

chimney taking the rat home after it was infected and healed by the same virus that "killed" bobby

said virus has only a 30% mortality rate (according to the episode) and moira only sped up the incubation time of the virus, not the strength

we didnt see his body

the script leak from both oliver and jlh with bobby saying "im being buried alive" was the same day the cast and crew were filming at a graveyard

the silly cast photos in front of bobbys casket

the name on the turnout coat under the casket on the back of the truck changed from giarusso to nash during the procession livestream

NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN, ILL CRAWL HOME TO HER

buck never got to say "i love you" back to bobby

eddie wasnt there

we are 8 seasons in and there hasnt been any mcd before now

the casts reactions to bobby/peters departure, especially compared to when calum left after a couple of episodes

mans has already survived so much and we are expected to believe that a virus took him out???

fujo!bobby hasnt gotten to watch his ship (his son and said sons best friend) get married yet

it was supposed to be ravi??? but then it changed???

"you cant kill off captain banner. hes what keeps 119 fire family together" and then banner literally coming back to life by a doctor played by chimney (who was also infected with the virus but ultimately survived after getting the antidote)

he hasnt finished building his and athenas house for them to live in

the shot of bobbys helmet on the ground mirroring bucks during the lightning strike

peter being on set for filming eps 16-18

NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN

ILL CRAWL HOME TO HER

[rezitio]

⊹ | 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 ₙₛʄʷ

ft. Ohma Tokita, Raian Kure, Rama XIII, Gaolang Wongsawat, Kanoh Agito, Niko Tokita, Hatsumi Sen, Wakatsuki Takeshi, Muteba Gizenga

warnings: There's over 40+ links here they each have a description find your own warnings man 😔 they need login of an 18+ acc

━━━━━━━━━━

⊹ | Ohma Tokita

01. Sometimes strong men like him need their ego checked but a petite little minx two times smaller than them.

02. At times ohma just wants to feel you on his cock. Especially after a long day of fighting his thoughts, himself and Niko. You were his only light in the inside.

03. It can get real messy with Ohma, I mean really messy.

04. He'll hold you like this when it's all over. When he's done re-arranging your guts after hate-sex. No he doesn't hate you- he hates himself and you happened to be the nearest stress relief

05. Ohma never sleeps (at the right time), so he feels up your body while you have your wet sweet dreams

06. He doesn't want you to think of him like that. He knows what you go through, selling your body in the inside can't be easy. He knows you hate it, but when you offered, for free, God now he knows why people pay so much.

⊹ | Raian Kure

01. Raian making sure both your holes are filled

02. The whole clan knows Raian. The cousin your mother always compares your siblings with and the whole clan knows you. The girl who did not inherit one gene of kure family blood.

03. Raian was never taught how to say I love you or how what love was. He was taught give them no other choice, so he knocked you up knowing damn well he wasn't supposed to come inside.

04. Raian loves them virgins. How eager they are for dick

05. How hard he fucks after convincing you to slip off the condom.

06. Raian can be petty sometimes, leading you to an orgasm like this only to stop and bring up a passing comment

⊹ | Rama XIII

01. "Come on, close so soon? Keep going... please your king"

02. You know he has lots of women lined up for him but maybe,maybe tonight you can finally prove him you're worthy.

Maybe try again next time...

03. Rama absolutely adores his little maid.

⊹ | Gaolang Wongsawat

01. First time with Gaolang was supposed to be cute and pretty, but even a man like him can't think sweetly with a cunt as tight as yours

02. He knows its wrong. Fucking the princess? Your brother will kill him, but even the strongest soldiers fail with temptation

03. With him, sex isn't about orgasm it's about pleasure, the Intimacy

04. Koalang treating his princess well.

05. You don't know how you convinced him to give you a massage but God, did you have to have a fucking perfect body?

06. They call him the fastest boxer, because of how fast he is with his hands.

⊹ | Niko Tokita

01. This is Niko's way of warning your body to take his girth

02. Niko can't remembering the last time he's had pussy, but it seems like wver other day now, he's more than six inches dep in you.

03. Your dad's bestfriend visited while he was gone but not for him. (PLS I CAN IMAGINE HIM SAYING THE SAME EXACT WORDS.)

04. Doing shit like this will get you in trouble just like that.

⊹ | Kanoh Agito

01. He always gives you the opportunity to do whatever you want with him, these are his favs. one.

02. It's either your fucking Kanoh agito, or Fang of Mesturo

03. When ever he's fucking you, his tongue becomes his a weapon used to conquer that pussy.

04. ...

⊹ | Hatsumi Sen

01. I can imagine him fucking the Nogi group's secetary under her desk, and telling anyone passing by you left work early.

02. Seeing your ex again at your engagement party. You told him you hated him, how he made you feel, how you missed his touch and ran to the bathroom. That's where you two are now!

03. He's gotten in trouble with Nogi more times than he can remember, skipping fights and being inappropriate. He can't just resist his boss's cute 'innocent' daughter while she practically begging for his cock.

04. Bumping into your ex and having sex hasn't on your bingo card for the day.

05. He's fucking in love with eating your pussy.

06. Your dad's going to kill you if he find out, but he did tell you to keep him company while he takes this call so...

⊹ | Wakatsuki Takeshi

01. This is how Wakatsuki Takeshi, fucks.

02. You haven't seen each other in such a long time, first thing he made sure to do was rearrange your guts

03. Sometimes he would be hesitant, making you be on top and letting tou ride him. Just so he doesn't accidentally crush you with his weight or split you into half, but he always gets too... impatient

04. At times Takeshi rarely does anything, but the thickness and the heaviness of his dick never fails to make you cry out.

05. Lovely picnic on the grass turns into a fuck sesh mid argument

⊹ | Muteba Gizenga

01. What would you honestly do in that situation? A big tall man tells you to get on your knees for him after murdering your abusive boyfriend, he says he's been watching you, and he just beat you to it.

02. I know it in my heart when a nigga has a big dick. I'm never wrong.

03. I don't know this is just a very muteba position

Oh God.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Main Masterlist

Tag List or follow @seresinhangmanjake-library

Series:

The Harkonnen's Sweet Thing: Part 1, Part 2 - (Atreides!Reader) You watched your brother kill the man you love--a man you were once gifted to by the Baron--and now that he is gone, you think Paul will use you as a political pawn in his war. And you're right. But you're shocked to discover who is demanding to have you.

What Comes at Night: You have nightmares of Feyd's death and he's there to comfort you. *can be read alone* Mark of Luck: You give Feyd your mark of luck before he enters the arena. *can be read alone* Overprotective: Your son is due to be born any day now and Feyd is very protective. He kills anyone who so much as lays a finger on you, but it’s gotten out of control. *can be read alone* The Harkonnen's Loves: Feyd gives his four-year old son his first blade. (Mostly sweet family stuff)

His: You used to be a Lady, a daughter of a Great House until Feyd took you. Since then, your sole purpose has been to warm his bed, but when Rabban asks about having you for himself, Feyd makes a choice that changes your future.

Forever His: Post-marriage stuff His and Yours: When you're told your pregnancy could cost you your life, Feyd demands you do whatever necessary to keep yourself alive. Protecting His: One of Feyd's harpies saves you. His Boy: Feyd is worried his son is too much like him. Defending His Lady: Both Feyd and your son take issue with the people of Giedi Prime not accepting you as their Lady More of His: You want another child, but after what happened with your first birth, Feyd is less than thrilled at the idea. Prequel Fics: Becoming His: Feyd chooses you as his concubine. Don't Touch What's His: Feyd's harpies attack you while you're both asleep in his bed and he gets real mad. Known To Be His: Feyd brings you along to a ball at Caladan Castle, where you hope he intends to show you off and make it known to all Lords and Ladies that he cares for you. Instead, to your disappointment, he keeps you away from others, as if you're nothing more than his toy. But maybe before the night is out, he will change his mind. Only His: A diplomat from Caladan wants to borrow Feyd's concubine. He doesn't like that very much.

Fremen Girl: The potential wife of any future Baron must prove herself by surviving in the arena before the current Baron will permit the marriage. In this case, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen wants a wife, and he might have just found a woman capable of meeting that challenge.

Part 2 Part 3

An Heir: You and Feyd intend to be together forever--marry, have children, lead Giedi Prime side by side--but your plans are disrupted when the Reverend Mother of the Bene Gesserit reveals Lady Fenring is pregnant and, to Feyd's utter shock, the baby is his.

Part 2 Part 3

One-shots:

Feyd x reader on her period: Feyd doesn’t like anyone keeping him from his wife’s side, especially when she’s in pain.

Unexpected: No one expects Feyd's bride to like him.

Anniversary: Giedi Prime doesn't celebrate anniversaries, but you show Feyd a tradition from your planet.

Respect: Your betrothed is a son from one of the Great Houses, an awful man who has enjoyed threatening and scaring you since you were children. Feyd makes it known he doesn't appreciate such disrespectful treatment of the woman he loves.

Do You Love?: Feyd is soft for his wife and only wants to know if she loves him. His wife just wants him to come home.

He Will Hope: Feyd is obsessed with his bride from the moment he sees her, but on their wedding night he finds out she might not feel the same. (Angst, but hopeful ending) *also serves as a very early prequel to Do You Love?*

Staining: You think your husband is heartless, but maybe you're wrong.

All He Knew: Feyd deals with the emotional aftermath of protecting you from his uncle.

Healer: Feyd's a bit attached to his new healer.

A Trade: When Feyd asked for your hand, your father refused and took you away from him. Now he’ll do anything to get you back, and he’s not above kidnapping your sister to offer a trade.

Bonded: You were a servant and companion to Paul Ateides, but the moment you met Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, you knew the universe had Bonded you to another.

What He Likes: When five daughters of Great Houses arrive on Giedi Prime, Feyd is meant to select one as a wife. But out of all of the foreigners on his territory, it is the Princess of Kaitain’s handmaid that catches his eye.

Eyes: Giedi Prime traditions dictate that the consummation of your marriage must be witnessed by many men, but you’re not sure you can handle so many eyes on you in such an intimate moment. 

What He Has To: Despite being betrothed to Rabban, you've been having an affair with Feyd for months. The two of you agreed to stop once you're married, but Feyd decides that doesn't work for him.

[angels-hideaway]

𝔅𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔱 I

Vampire!Caitlyn Kiramman x peasant!fem reader

summary: Your life is a bore. Every day begins and ends the exact same way. That is until your father returns from his latest vampire hunt, and leaves you to deal with the consequences of his failure.

w/c: 5.8k

(if you don’t have Spotify, the song I picked for this chapter is The Devils Trill Sonata.” Violin cover by Sophie Mutter.)

Heavy footsteps echoed through the dark halls of the empty castle. The man, running as fast as his mortal feet could carry him, turned every corner and opened every door, searching desperately for the exit.

The crossbow he was carrying was empty. It was missing the wooden arrow he’d loaded it with to slaughter the vampire. The vampire who haunted the small, peasant village of Crows-Wood. Whispers of her ferocity, scary stories mothers told their children to keep them in at night, and the blood drained bodies found in the woods during the early morning hours all lead back to her.

The man’s eyes brightened with hope when he spotted the double doors spread wide open. He hadn’t slain the vampire, but at least he’d be the first to make it out of her castle alive. Just as he was footsteps away from the outside world, the doors slammed shut on their own. The result, a heavy gust of wind, threw the man back onto the floor.

He scrambled to his feet, and backed up against the door. His eyes scanned every corner of the room looking for her. The sound of clicking heels make her presence known. Out of the darkness, she appeared. A woman, tall, statuesque, and beautiful as death could be stared him down.

“I-I’m sorry! Please just let me go I’ll never come back!” The man pleaded. The vampire only walked closer. Her ice blue eyes were glowing in the faint moonlight. “What makes you think I would let you go?” Her voice echoed through the dark castle. “Please! I beg of you! I’ll never come back!” 

“Imbecile…” the vampire muttered. She got close enough to look down on the man, and corner him against the door. “I’ll do anything!” The vampire’s eyebrows raised at that. “Anything? Well then, make me an offer I simply can’t refuse.” 

Dawn light filtered through your bedroom window. The birds rose you from sleep, and you reached your arms out in a morning stretch. Another day in Crows-Wood, repeating the same way yesterday had.

“Has father returned yet?” Your little brother asked your mother at breakfast.  Your mother shakes her head sadly while separating some sweet porridge into three bowls. Your father went off last night to hunt the vampire in the old, scary castle up the hill. You never understood your father, or the vampire hunters as a whole. You were in the minority though.Vampire heads shriveled from the sun were paraded around, and their fangs were sold as gruesome souvenirs. 

Vampire hunting was the pride of Crows-Wood.

You understood that they were monsters, but surely, more killing wasn’t the answer. You’ve wanted to meet a vampire ever since you were a little girl. Just to sit down with one, ask them some questions, and perhaps come to an understanding. 

It’s still early morning when you leave your cottage for the market. Your woolen chemise and long skirt flowed gently in the light breeze. The village was awake and bustling. Horse drawn carriages going up and down the dirt roads, and people selling their crops and goods at little stalls.

You exchanged a dozen eggs for a few coins when a cry of terror made the whole street fall silent. “Help! Help me!” Your father runs out from the woods with a limp and multiple smaller scratches. The people gasp and chatter, and a few men go to help support him.

 “What happened!?” 

“Did you slay the vampire?”

“No one’s gotten out of there with their head!” 

When your father is seated in the shade, and everyone is gathered around, he finally begins to talk. “The vampire…she- she’s got black magic!” Gasps of horror erupt from the townspeople. “She’s a witch! She was going to kill me! But by the skin o’my teeth I managed to escape before she could drain my life away!” 

The people begin talking again, telling your father how brave he is and how lucky he was to survive. When it all dies down, your father sees you and motions you to come closer. “Out already this morning? You’re such a help to me and your mother. Now, could you help your father home?” 

When you finally get him through the door, your mother and brother hug him tightly. “Oh dear, I thought you were dead for certain!” your mother cries. “I’m sorry my love…but can we talk? Without the children around, please.” That’s your cue to take your brother and leave. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Your brother asks while you walk him around town. “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s something to do with father’s latest hunt.” You answer. “Father’s the first man to survive that creepy old castle! I’m certain everything will be alright!” Your brother pumps his fist to the sky. You don’t feel as confident though. 

Something’s wrong.

When you return home after about an hour, your mother is weeping. Not because your father returned though. Her tears don’t exude the slightest bit of happiness. “Oh, you two are back…” she mumbles. Strangely, she walks up to you and gently caresses your face. “You’ve grown to be such a beautiful young woman, my dear.” 

Her voice is dripping with sorrow, but she turns, and excuses herself to another room. 

That evening, you’re braiding your hair before bed when you hear your father calling your name. “Yes father?” He and your mother are seated at the dining table, with three warm mugs of tea steaming on the table. “Come sit.” He says.

Hesitantly, you take a seat at the table. “Is something the matter, father? Mother?” They both avoid your gaze. A small feeling of dread forms in your stomach. “You should…have some tea.” Your mother’s voice is closer to a whisper than actual speech.

Taking the mug in your hands, you take a small sip. The liquid burns your tongue, making you set it down instantly. “Going to that old castle may have been the most foolish thing I’ve ever done.” Your father says grimly. “I just want you to know that I don’t know what will from here.”

“What do you mean?” You sip the tea again, and again. It’s cooled down a bit. “I’m sorry for causing you all so much trouble.” Your father says. His voice breaks and he starts to weep. Before you can even ask what’s wrong, your head begins to feel heavy. 

You stumble, before collapsing to the ground. Your eyelids are heavy, and both of your parents are sobbing. “What’s…. Wrong?…” Your words slur and combine. The world begins to fade to black, until it disappears from you completely.

The sound of a fireplace wakes you. Slowly opening your eyes, you sit up. You’ve awakened on a red, velvety chaise with your wrists bound by a thick rope. There’s indeed a fireplace across from you, and a bright flame dances inside.

The ceiling of this strange room is painted with intricate frescos, and the walls are decorated with portraits of beautiful women. All share the surname Kiramman. Old shelves covered with cobwebs rest near the door, and a desk sits in the corner of the room. 

The sound of the door creaking open grabs your attention, and you turn to see who’s come in. A tall, looming figure stands in the doorway, making your blood run cold. The figure steps inside, and the faint glow of the candles reveal her face. 

Her eyes are a beautiful, cold shade of blue, and her skin is as pale as the moon. She’s beautiful. Despite your fear, you feel entranced by her. A dark blue jewel is nestled in the collar of her ruffled blouse, and her pants complement the color perfectly. 

“You’re awake.” She finally says. Her heels click against the floor when she approaches. Now, she’s standing right in front of you, observing you diligently. “The daughter of the foolish hunter. As beautiful as he said you’d be. Not that it matters any to me.” 

“Who-who are you?” Your voice is quiet and meek. “So he was too cowardly to even admit to what he’s done to you? Imbecile. The lot of them. Humans are foolish, cowardly little creatures. Especially the men.” Her voice carries an unmistakable venom. 

“What he did to me?” Your mind is reeling. You were sitting at the table, drinking the tea…

The tea. 

There was no way your clumsy excuse for a father could ever escape such a powerful vampires clutches without consequence. The tears, the way they avoided your gaze, and the tea.

Tears slip down your cheeks when you put the pieces together. The woman you’ve realized is the vampire speaks again. “So you’ve connected it all, haven’t you?” You can’t look at her. Your vision is swimming with tears.

 “So you’re…”

 “The vampire.” She finishes for you. 

“I suppose that is me. I let your father live in exchange for a beautiful young woman. I see she’s been delivered to me.” The stern scowl she wears never leaves her face. “The old fool is lucky he had a daughter. I much prefer the taste of women anyways.” She sits down in an armchair not to far from you.

You could vomit. Fear makes you freeze. Unable to move, a small croak escapes your throat. She remains seated, her eyes scanning every inch of your body, which is indecently exposed in your thin nightgown. 

“Let’s see…” she gets up and crouches down right in front of you. Your instincts make you flinch away from her. “I won’t harm you. I only want to examine you further.” Her hands gently caresses your bound ones. “Well this was just unnecessary.” She easily tears the rope and rubs your red wrists. Her touch is gentle, but that demonstration of her strength terrifies you. “There, that’s better isn’t it?”

She’s cold. Her skin is like ice. “You’re so warm.” She says, feeling your hands a little more. “May I know the name of my guest?” You tell her, and she repeats it experimentally. “How pretty.” Suddenly, she shoves her face into your neck. Your scream dies in your throat when you don’t feel sharp fangs piercing your skin. Instead, her nose brushes along your skin, and she sighs softly. Her breath is cold too. You flinch when you feel her tongue on your skin. 

“That’s enough!” You shove her away, and instantly regret it. You prepare for the worst, but nothing happens. “My apologies. Whenever I’m around such an appetizing person, I simply can’t help myself.” She stands, and heads for the door. Before she leaves, she turns around. “Please follow me.” You’re convinced you’re going to die. She just called you appetizing.

You follow the tall woman all the way to what looks to be a dining room. “Ah, I nearly forgot. You may call me Caitlyn.” She pulls out one chair for you at the end of the table, and takes a seat at the other end across from you. Many empty chairs are at the table too. In front of you is a plate with some fruit and bread.

“I’m sure you’re curious as to what will happen to you.” She pours a suspiciously red liquid from a bottle into a wine glass. Noticing your horrified expression, she explains herself. “It’s only pigs blood. Not my favorite, but it keeps me alive.” She swirls it around the glass before taking a sip. 

After a long silence, you ask “What’s going to happen to me?” Caitlyn looks up at you and sips from the glass again. “About that, I’ve found myself quite lonely this past century. I plan on keeping you alive.” You’re relieved. You sigh loudly. 

“There is a catch, however.” Caitlyn interjects. “I still plan on feeding from you.” A heavy feeling settles in your stomach. “Please allow me to explain. I’ll only do it once a week. If I were to feed off of you for four days consecutively, you’d die without a doubt. It’s only by chance that you would turn to a vampire after passing on. As long as I give your body time to recover, you should go on living fine.” 

“So you won’t kill me?” She smiles “Of course not. I could use some company around here.” You pick up a single strawberry from your plate and eat it. “Can I ask what exactly the deal was between you and my father?” Caitlyn’s expression darkens. “Just last night, he attempted to kill me with a wooden steak in a crossbow. I caught him, and he swore me the life of his daughter instead of his own. If he went back on his deal, I would have killed him.”

You’re crying again. Knowing that your father just sold you off to a vampire to save his own skin was a terrible feeling. “I am partial to human women, so I agreed.” That’s the second time she’s mentioned her preference for human women.

“If I may ask, why human women?”

Caitlyn finishes the glass of pigs blood and licks the rim of the glass. “That’s easy. I despise human men. Every last one of them are pigs. Liars, cheaters, and their blood is bitter and repulsive. I’ve found in my long life that women are often sweeter in both taste, and character. Easier on the eyes too. Girls like you make a much more appealing meal” a wave of heat washes over you. You always heard tales of how vampires were seductive on purpose to lure in naive victims. You weren’t expecting such ridiculous stories to be true.

“Is that why you were examining me earlier?” She nods “Clever girl. I wouldn’t say it’s why, I just wanted to.”  “I see…”

“Well,” Caitlyn stands up. “The sun will rise any moment now, so I will be going to bed. If you’re tired, please rest. If not, you’re free to explore. Don’t even think about trying to escape. This whole castle is under my control. If I don’t wish for you to leave, you don’t.” She sounds serious. “Yes ma’am.” 

That makes Caitlyn turn around. “You don’t have to call me that. Caitlyn is just fine.” If you’re eyes are not deceiving you, she looks a little flustered. So she does have emotions. 

 “There’s a spare bedroom much more suitable for a guest down the hall. If you’ll follow me.” Caitlyn starts briskly walking, almost too fast for you to keep up. Vampires are fast. You remember from the stories.

 Not another word is spoken between you two. She opens one of the double doors to reveal a lavish chamber with a large bed against the back wall. There’s already candles inside like she expected you to sleep here. You step inside, and look around. 

“There are plenty of clothes for you in the wardrobe. I suppose you can say I’ve been anticipating your arrival.” She leans down slightly to achieve an equal height with you. “Rest well. We’ll begin tomorrow.” She smiles “I’m confident you’ll be just divine.” With that, she walks away. 

You close the door and stroll idly around your new room. It’s beautiful. A vase of dark red roses rests on a small table in the corner of the room next to a chaise. The canopy bed’s curtains are black, and made from a thin lace. The sheets are soft and velvety. You crawl into the bed and collapse. As soon as your head hits the pillow, you’re asleep.

When you wake, it looks to be late afternoon. You must have slept very long. You spy the wardrobe from across the room, and get out of bed to investigate. The door creeks when you open it. Inside, are the most beautiful dresses a peasant girl like you has ever seen. They look like they’d belong to a nobles daughter, or maybe some kind of princess. 

You pull one of them out and admire it in the daylight. Stripping off your nightgown, you put the dress on and struggle to adjust the corset. The only thing that looks new in this castle is a mirror in the corner. Maybe Caitlyn bought it especially for you. There’d be no reason for her to own a mirror after all.  You stand in front of it and admire your own reflection. The dress hangs off your shoulders and falls all the way down to your ankles.

There’s a jewelry box in the wardrobe that catches your eye. You open it, and decorate your neck with a black, lace choker. You’ve almost forgotten your the prisoner of a vampire with all of this luxury she’s gifted you with. She said she would start today. Did she mean she’d start sucking your blood? 

The thought sends a chill down your spine. She doesn’t seem evil, but your fear remains all the same. You spend the last few hours of daylight roaming the castle. There’s a strange emblem all over the castle depicting two keys crossing over each other. It’s on the walls, old books, stray pocket watches, and old clothing.

It’s beginning to get dark. You find a candleholder with a wax candle still inside, and light it to find your way around. All the curtains in the castle are drawn except for the ones in your room. Vampires don’t like sunlight. You remember. 

“There you are.” You scream and drop your candle. Looking back up, you see it’s only Caitlyn. She stomps out the fire before it can spread, and picks up the holder. “I see you’ve been doing some exploring.” Her eyes look up and down your body. “And you’ve found my gifts in the wardrobe. That’s good. You look beautiful.” 

“Goodness, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you.” You take the candle back and quickly look away from her. She’s barely dressed. The vampire is wearing another frilly blouse, but it’s only buttoned up halfway, leaving pale hints of her chest exposed. Thankfully, she’s wearing trousers. Caitlyn notices your embarrassed expression “Is something the matter? I apologize for frightening you.”

“No it’s not that. I just- thought I saw something.” You try your best to look her in the face. “I can assure you it’s just us in here.” She steps closer, placing one hand on your shoulder. It’s cold. “I’m feeling a little hungry.” You inhale sharply. “So it’s time?” She smiles. “Soon. Are you excited? I am. I haven’t had a woman in quite some time. It’s only men who come up here to bother me.” 

“Will it hurt?” What a stupid question. Of course it will, but you ask anyways. “It will sting, of course, but you must know that vampire bites contain a sort of…venom. It’s designed to make the victim yearn for whoever bit them first. So they won’t struggle when the vampire eventually drains their body dry. The bite will sting, but soon it starts to feel rather pleasureful. The whole process feels a little sensual, but I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”

That’s not the answer you expected at all. “The next day, you’ll probably feel rather faint. You’ll be weak, maybe bedridden. I’ll care for you, and make sure you recover.” She sighs, and you see her tongue swiping across her lips. “This will be fun. Don’t you think?”

You’re back in your room staring out into the night when you hear your door open. “I don’t think I can wait any longer. Have you prepared yourself?” It’s Caitlyn. You sigh. “As best as I could. I’m still a little frightened.” Caitlyn comes towards you and sits next to you on the bed. “Please don’t worry. She leans in closer, and you lean away. 

“Don’t struggle. I’m trying not to hurt you.” She sounds serious. You feel her cool breath on your neck, and her fingers gently pressing down on your skin. “What are you doing?” She’s very focused. “Looking for a safe place to bite. If I do this wrong, you could die. Please hold still.” 

Her breath quickens before you feel her latch onto your neck. It’s not cold this time. A small whimper of pain escapes your lips when you feel the pulsating movement of her sucking. Her hand finds yours and her fingers intertwine with yours. She squeezes tight. Her other hand caresses your cheek. The strange pleasure Caitlyn described finally comes. The pain dulls, and your body feels fuzzy. 

“Caitlyn…” you whimper, and she responds with a hum. “Shh…” she quiets you Before going back to your bleeding neck. The hand on your cheek finds itself to your back, and she brings you closer to her. The whole time, you’re attempting to stifle your own noises of both pain and pleasure. 

When she finally pulls away. Her lips are red with your blood, and she looks rather dazed as if your blood contained its own venom for her. “I…I apologize… I took far more than I should have. I couldn’t help myself.” She gently lowers your weak body down onto the bed. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She leans down again, and you feel her tongue pass over where she bit you. “My saliva should heal the bite by morning.”

Everything is happening slowly around you. Your eyelids are heavy and your ears are ringing. The only thing on your mind is Caitlyn. So this is the work of the venom. When you see her by your side again, squeezing a rag filled with water over a bowl, you weakly grab her wrist. “Caitlyn?” She places the cool rag on your forehead. “Please don’t speak. I might get tempted. You won’t have control of your own mind for a little while. It’s the venom. See how it can be so deadly? If I really wanted to, I could have my way with you right now and you’d be completely hypnotized.”  

“Caitlyn” you say again. It’s like the only word you can say is her name. “Yes?” “Bite me again.” She laughs and you feel her cold hand on your cheek. “I’d love to, but I think that would kill you. I already drank far more than I should have. Besides, that’s not what you really want, is it?” She lifts your wrist and checks your pulse. “Your heartbeat has slowed quite a bit. I don’t think it’d taste as good anyways. Blood tastes best when the heart beats quickly. I wonder if there’s another way I could achieve that with you. Since I’m not hunting you, your heartbeat didn't increase much.”

You’re fading in and out of consciousness, before you fall asleep completely. When you wake up, the curtains are drawn, and Caitlyn is sitting down next to your bed reading. Your head feels a lot better. It seems the venom has worn off. “Caitlyn? It’s daytime.Why are you awake? She puts down the book she was reading and responds. “Yes I suppose I should be asleep. I decided to watch over you instead. Your blood was enough to completely rejuvenate me. I could stay up for a very long time now. You look better.” She looks over you and nods. You raise your hand to your neck and feel where she bit you. Sure enough, the puncture wound is gone. It leaves a dark bruise in its wake. 

“The skin takes a little longer to fully recover, but the bite is gone as I promised.” She removes the rag from your forehead. “I went ahead and put your nightgown on. I figured you couldn’t be comfortable sleeping in that corset. You sit up instantly at that. “You undressed me?” She looks confused. “Yes? Does that bother you? I see no issue with it. Remember, I am not human, girl. I don’t feel lust like a man would.” 

“I have a hard time believing that. You’re a vampire, and you said you like human women. Surely you feel some kind of desire. All the stories say so.” She stares off into space. “Not a chance. I only appreciate the taste.” She goes back to her book. 

Caitlyn was lying through her teeth. That was one of the hardest nights of her life. She’d almost forgotten why she loved human women so much, but last night reminded her. The sight of a girl like you completely subdued by her venom, lips parted and gasping, cheeks warm and flushed, and your half-lidded eyes never looking away from her. You were practically radiating heat. Every time you called her name, Caitlyn had to hold herself back. There were times she even had to step out of the room.

You were incredibly vulnerable then, and her instincts wanted to take advantage of that. That was the purpose of her venom. Caitlyn knew you’d be under her spell for some time, but she didn’t think it would affect her this much. She’d never let someone she’d bitten live long enough to see them like that. 

“Caitlyn?” You snap her out of her memory, and she jumps. “Apologies. I was just thinking.” You reach out of the bed and tap the book in her hands. “What are you reading?” Caitlyn looks down to the book in her lap and holds it up to you. “Studies of the Human Race? That sounds boring.”

 “Really? I find you quite fascinating.” She smiles, and you feel your face heat up. “You’re reading it to find out more about me?” She makes a sound of approval. “Physically. Though I suppose the best way would to just be to talk to you.” 

Caitlyn stands up and joins you on the bed. “So, what makes your heart race?” You cock your head and hum. “What makes my heart race? Uhm… I suppose being flustered or scared.. If I’ve ran a lot or done something strenuous, that would do the trick too. Why did you ask?” She looks very serious about this topic. “To a vampire, blood tastes better when the heart is pumping faster. I don’t have a living heart to test things on, so the only way I know to speed up a pulse is by hunting my victim. I have no reason to hunt you because you’re not running. I need something to get your pulse faster.”

You both sit there contemplating this strange dilemma. “I’m not really sure what to say. Uhm, do I not taste as good with a regular pulse?” Caitlyn grabs you by the shoulders “That’s not what I meant at all! You’re fine without it, I just…the thought of what could be is quite enticing.” She acts like that was offensive to you. Her fingers find your wrist and they press down. “Hm…How interesting. Your pulse quickens when I touch you.” “It’s because you surprised me. That’s all.” Caitlyn chuckles and lets go of you. “That’s nice to know. I’ll have to try it next week.”

It’s been four days since you woke up in Caitlyn’s castle. You’re able to find your way around a little more now, but there’s still areas you haven’t even explored. You’re not as scared of Caitlyn, but a healthy fear lingers when you’re around her anyways. It’s around nine o’clock when you enter the library and find Caitlyn in a rocking chair by the fireplace. She looks up from her book. “You’re still awake?” You nod and close the door. “What are you reading?” She stands and comes closer to you. “This is a fiction novel. It’s a romance.”

“Oh…Do you enjoy romance novels?” You ask. “Not especially.” She responds.Without warning, Caitlyn lifts your palm and kisses it. Shortly after she checks your pulse. “Why did you do that?” You manage to ask despite your internal panic.“it’s something the heroine in the story got flustered by. I thought I should try it.” She smiles at you. “Seems it worked. Human women are so very easy to excite. It’s adorable.” She’s looking at you with a type of strange affection no one ever has before. 

Caitlyn returns to her rocking chair and puts the book down. “That dress looks especially beautiful on you. I like the detailing.” The dress was a blood red color with black lace detailing around your chest, hanging from your arms, and a matching ribbon in your hair. “Thank you…” You sit down on the floor next to Caitlyn’s chair to warm up by the fire. The castle is colder at night.

“How long can you last with the amount of blood you drained from me?” She looks over at you and rests one hand on your head. “Well I feed from other things too, but I gather the most strength from human blood. If I wanted to survive on it alone, then I could for maybe two weeks.” Your curiosity for vampires was finally getting its answers. “Really? I’ve always found your kind quite fascinating.” You reply. “As have I.” You sit there in silence as she gently plays with your hair while reading. 

Around half an hour later, Caitlyn speaks again. “Humans aren’t nocturnal. It’s getting late. I enjoy your company, but I understand if you need to rest, darling.” You tell her goodnight and go to your room. When you’ve settled into the bed, your thoughts drift back to Caitlyn. She called you darling… 

It’s been days since she fed off of you, so this can’t be the venom. When you first woke up in this castle, you thought you were as good as dead. Caitlyn is surprisingly kind, and quite charming. She has the manners of a woman of noble birth.

A girl like you would have never imagined herself in such a situation. You wondered if your family missed you. If your father regretted leaving you here. Your life was so normal before this. Lazy mornings at the market, helping your parents with their work, and watching as the villagers rallied around burnt vampire corpses, and wore their fangs as jewelry.

There’s a knock at your door before Caitlyn enters. “Tomorrow, I’ll feed from you again. Just prepare yourself.” She closes your door. So it’s tomorrow… 

That day, you get dressed in an elegant yet casual dress. It’s a beautiful royal blue color, with black accents. The necklace you find in your dresser has that same emblem with the two keys. You put it on and admire how intricate it is. After eating a breakfast Caitlyn left out for you, you spend the day flipping though books. One of them is a journal titled “The Kiramman Vampire.” On the cover is the two keys again. Curiously, you read through the notes of research. 

Some things you already knew are scribbled down. Things like her wound healing saliva, the venom, and more. One particular passage catches your eye.

 “Vampires from the Kiramman family only fall in love once. They mate for life.”

  You would have thought vampires couldn’t feel love, but it seems you were wrong. Deciding to read more later, you bring the book to your room. 

You stayed up quite late, and you’re feeling tired. Because of this, you find yourself napping through the rest of the day. You wake up at dusk. Caitlyn is probably awake by now. You stay on your bed while flipping through the journal, until you hear your door open. Putting the book under your pillow, you turn on your side to see it’s Caitlyn. Today she’s  wearing a heavy cape with a collar that goes up to her chin. Under it is a black frilly blouse.

“Is it time?” She nods. “Do you want me to sit up?” She walks over to your bed. “No that’s fine. Stay as you are.” You stay on your back, and wait for her. When she gets on top of you, effectively pinning you down, you feel your heart beat faster. Just like last time, she holds your hand too. She feels your cheek for warmth, and lowers her head to your bosom. “Your heart is beating faster... Do you like this? Or maybe you’re scared.” You don’t speak, so Caitlyn lifts her head and brushes your hair from your neck. Suddenly she stops moving completely. “Caitlyn?” You call her name to see if anything is wrong. 

“…You’re wearing my crest.” She sounds amused. You remember the necklace with that emblem on it. The one you’re wearing. “Your crest? Oh! It’s a family crest! I found the necklace and thought it was pretty, so I put it on. I didn’t know…” She laughs “do you know what this looks like? She leans down to your ear. “It looks like you officially belong to me.”

Caitlyn kisses the side of your neck before sinking her teeth in. She sucks harder when you make a small sound of pain.You can feel the venom attacking your mind, and your body suddenly becomes heavy. You lift a hand to touch the back of Caitlyn’s head, but it takes every ounce of your strength. “Cait…” 

The strange, painful pleasure numbs your senses. Her hand squeezes yours tighter, and she hums in pleasure. When you feel Caitlyn’s teeth pulling out, you whine in pain. “I’m sorry, love…It’ll feel better soon…” She licks the wound left behind and stays on the bed next to you.

“How are you feeling?” The venom is making everything hazy. You lazily grab Caitlyn’s hand and bring it to your neck. “You should…. Do it again..” Caitlyn ignores your intoxicated response and plays with your necklace instead. When you lean into her touch, making her cup your cheek, she just looks at you sort of dumbfounded.

“You’re a very strange girl” She comments. “You must still be hungry. You should take more blood.” Your words slur and stick together. Caitlyn ignores you and keeps talking. “You were only frightened for the first few days or so. Now look at you. Cuddling up to me like a house cat. This is the second time I’ve fed off of you, and you already seem so comfortable here.”

“I like it here.” For once, you give a response unaffected by the venom. “My life was…boring before this. I’ve always wanted to meet a vampire. I’ve thought they were fascinating ever since I was a little girl. You want more blood right? Take more. Drain me completely..” Caitlyn stands and opens the curtains, letting the moonlight in. “That’s kind of you to say. I’m not hungry anymore though, and you’re completely under the influence of my venom. Rest. I’ll come back and check on you.”

Caitlyn leans down and kisses the healing wound on your neck before leaving. Sleep pulled your eyelids shut. The sound of rain beginning to tap against the windows gently, the gentle creaking of castle settling lulls you to a peaceful, yet intoxicated sleep.  

[artsninspo]

Penname: Delta Wise -3- [Sinners]

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authors note: this one is longer than my usual update so I hope those of you who always ask for longer fics enjoy. Not too much on the summary - I don't want to spoil anything but I promise its a ride 🌪️ This Chapter has multiple POV's. summary: What if you make a fortune from a harrowing tale that affected your family? What if it had supernatural elements that only you and few others believed to be true? What if nearly 100 years later those truth's start finding you? This is Knotty James story, better known as Delta Wise. word-count: 5.6K

THREE

Knotty

I can't stop staring at Eli, trying to piece the puzzle together, trying to make sense of what I know. A love spell gone wrong and a night of horrors has a man that shouldn't be alive and breathing in my company. If I was a drinker I’d need a shot. I try to sew the seams of my memory together, finding pieces of the mosaic that make up the face I see now. Mississippi Eli had braids, he was slim, not so muscular and his voice was higher if memory serves me correctly. He was stern, holding back smiles for when we didn't have an audience then deep dimples would appear. I was as infatuated with Eli as I was with my grandmother's stories back then. I look down and see I have goosebumps. I blink away the reveries of the past and ground myself in the present at this event with my parents. I take a deep breath trying to be the charming daughter but it goes away when I turn and see Eli watching me from across the room. His expression is serious but his eyes soften as he raises a brow - like he’s asking me if I’m alright. I force a smile nodding curtly and he half smiles slightly before nodding. My mother’s perfume ends the moment.

“He’s handsome isn’t he?” Ma says following my line of sight over to Eli as she misinterprets my staring for the same wide eyed wonder I had for him as a child. She stands straight brimming with pride for her rediscovery of the only boy I’ve ever really gotten along with.

“That’s not why I’m staring” I mutter killing her vibe.

“Then why are you staring?” She asks.

Sighing I look into my glass. “It’s a long story”

“I have time,” Ma smiles.

“You and daddy need to stay in after dark and be very careful who you invite into your home” I tell her and she closes her eyes. 

“Not this again” she sighs. “My mother created a very vivid world and an intricate story in order to live with her mother’s abandonment of her” Ma says and it hurts me, so I know it hurts Granny.

“She never lied about anything else” I quip.

Ma sighs. “I don’t judge her for it”

“So Her mother just absconded?” I ask.

“Knotty…”

“Ma…” I respond

“So you believe her tales?” she asks with a huff.

“If I go missing out of the blue just know I didn’t abscond” I tell her.

“Knotty” she snaps as I walk away. “Knotty James” she continues reaching for me but I keep going. “Don’t make me say your name” she warns and I stop not wanting it uttered in this space.

“You’re too superstitious” she snaps, taking my hand and walking me out of the ballroom. She’s furious as am I.

“When have I been a liar?” I ask and she sighs.

“So Pearline was turned into a vampire and died at sunrise?” She asks with a mocking tone. “I’ll keep your father and I indoors and remind him not to invite anyone in the house” she relents only out of her love for me: she doesn’t believe it. Nor does she understand the conundrum Eli poses. While he’s human his mirror image is a bloodsucker.

“I’m gonna leave now” I swallow wiping my runaway tears caused by overwhelm.

“Knotty” my mom sighs, her tone turning maternal as she reaches for me.

“Is everything alright?” A concerned Eli asks with a cigarette in hand.

“Fine” I lie wiping my tears away.

“You really shouldn’t smoke,” Ma tells him.

“I know” he nods, sparing her a glance before looking at me with another raised brow.

“Let me walk you out,” Ma says, taking my hand.

“It was nice seeing you again Elijah” Ma smiles politely.

“You too Mrs. James, Knotty” he says.

“Likewise” I nod following my mother’s lead.

“Knotty please if you’re worried or scared about something tell me and we can get you help” she says trying to be supportive but it’s insulting.

“I’m not crazy” I insist.

“I don’t think you’re crazy but this time of year is always hard for you. You and mama were so close” she says and I sigh.

“I’ll be at Merin’s” I tell my mother and she tenses. She could tolerate me wanting my grandmother more than her but Mama Meringue is where she draws the line. 

“Knotty, why don’t you come home. I can leave now with you we can go home and spend some time together” Ma offers and I sigh.

“Merin knows I’m not crazy or superstitious enough. Take care” 

“Then I’m coming with you,” Ma says, opening the passenger door. She’s as stubborn as a mule.

Pearl (Knotty’s Mom)

I don't remember the last time Knotty and I spent real quality time together just because. I don't remember the last time we hung out without it being put into either of our schedules and as I watch her drive it pains me. She’s been so self sufficient these past few years that I’ve seen less and less of her. Even I was closer with Ma, in spite of our differences. I remember coming home from my first date with Knotty’s dad John with stars in my eyes and telling my mom all about it. Knotty never tells me anything aside from what she’s sure I want to hear and it’s my fault. I text John that I’m with Knotty before setting my phone down in my purse so I can be present for our not-so-little-girl.

I look her over again, wondering what’s going on in that head of hers. It was easier when Ma was still alive. Ma was a fortress and I trusted her more than anyone else with Knotty. Their bond was otherworldly and there was nothing Knotty would keep from her so I always knew when and when not to worry. Ma’s passing hit Knotty the hardest and until a few years ago she worried me. Nothing made her genuinely happy no matter how much she smiled to put us at ease. I thought at the very least Ma’s passing would make Knotty and I closer but it’s been the opposite. It’s like she needs me less and less and her patience for my skepticism has thinned into nothingness. 

“Did you tell dad to stay in after dark?” Knotty asks.

“I’ll text him right now” I tell her and she holds the steering wheel tight before letting go.

“You can tell me anything Knotty” I assure her.

“But you don’t believe me” she says with judgement absent from her tone.  She’s always been more measured with me. Ma and even Merin got the bubbly inhibited version of my child. When she was with me she wanted mani pedis and shopping. When she was with Ma she wanted to dance in the rain and pick whatever fruit was in season.

“Why don’t we make plans to go pick strawberries and raspberries before the season ends” I propose.

“Ma”

“What”

“It’s late september.” She says matter of fact.

“So how do I spend time with you? Do I book some time and help you at the shop?” I ask, trying to make the effort.

“Ma, I’m fine,” she says, sounding exasperated with me.

“You’re a grown woman, who’s alluding to vampires being real. Either you’re unwell and this is serious OR you’re perfectly sane and this is serious. Either way - I’m involved now. You’re my kid and whether it’s supernatural or psychosis I am here” I affirm. Knotty lets out a deep sigh like she could ever understand what it is to bring life into this world and love a child with every essence of your being. 

“You still don’t believe me,” she says, sounding more disappointed than anything.

“Are you telling me they are real? Not just some symbolism from southern folklore?” I ask and she grips the wheel again. She doesn’t answer me, instead she cuts the radio on. I turn it down.

“So you’re staying in, making your favorite - garlic knots, all silver everything, wooden stakes, cinnamon sweeping to keep the energy clear, staying in at night, not responding to voices calling our names in the forest” I list to show Knotty I’m right here with her and we were raised by the same woman. Her expression softens.

“Colloidal silver cream when you leave out at night, jewelry on all the accessible artery points. Garlic tea prep before nights out” She says taking Ma’s warnings very seriously. Knotty’s heart is so pure she’s always believed what people tell her.

“Did mama ever tell you who Pearline was fooling around with in the juke that night?” I ask knowing the story my mother believed to be true. Knotty looks at me and nods.

“She never told you?” Knotty asks me.

“No” I admit and she smiles.

“What do you know then?” she asks.

“That Pawpaw was hard on her, he was older and their marriage was unhappy. She would dress up and go out and sing whenever he was cheating or being neglectful. They had a fight the night before she disappeared”  I tell Knotty.

“She tried to get back home that night, she fought, not for Pawpaw but for her kids. Like any mother would” Knotty says as convinced as my mother was. “Ask yourself this, if Pearline was such a bad mother. Why was Granny such a good one? Why would she name you after her mother? Why?” Knotty asks.

“I don’t know” I tell Knotty and she takes a breath. “Enlighten me” I ask and she shakes her head like I’m a lost cause. I look up and see Merin’s house. My mother’s surrogate daughter. Knotty exits and Merin moves off the porch into the house fanning the flames of my daughter’s superstitious episode.

“Pearl, nice to see you!” She smiles from behind the screen door. “Knotty didn’t tell me you were coming, I only set the table for two”  she says.

“I’ve already eaten thanks” I force a smile heading in behind my daughter. If I believe in anything supernatural it’s that Merin’s a witch. There’s no other explanation for how she burrowed herself too deep into my mother and daughter’s affections. A trusted advisor and confident to both of them. Mama Meringue, what a fucking ridiculous moniker.

“How are you, baby?” Merin asks, taking Knottys arms. Without a word I watch my daughter remove a bangle. Something unspoken passes between them and Merin’s eyes double in size.

“I’ll set you a place Mom” Knotty says, turning to me as Merin disappears.

“What was that?” I ask Knotty.

“Merin made my favorites - I don’t think there’s anything for your diet”

“I’ll have the same fried fish as you.” I respond and Knotty serves me. Dinner is cordial and then Knotty leaves us to have a bath leaving Merin and I together.

“She needs you Pearl,” Merin says, overstepping as usual.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Impatience seeps from my tone.

“She needs you to believe her”

“She needs you to stop indulging her, She’s vulnerable right now” I snap but it has no effect on Merin.

“She’ll always be yours, she loves and trusts you more than you know. She just needs me because you don't listen” she says, working on my nerves.

“I listen, I just don’t believe in these stories. It’s nonsense!” I tell her frankly.

“Shame isn’t it? Your mother always believed in you, even when she didn’t like it. But I guess as children we choose when our parents are worth believing” she says, talking in circles.

“What’s Knotty worried about?” I ask.

“Why’d you invite Knotty to the fundraiser? Was it the boy from Mississippi?” Merin asks.

“Yes because she’d be better off if she settled down with a nice man and stopped with all this woo woo stuff”  I snap.

“Because you’re a mother and you know what’s right for Ivy” Merin says and it unsettles me. I know these lot are superstitious about the connection names have to spirit.

“Knotty” I correct, not liking the sound of her name being uttered by this charlatan. 

“She’s gonna need you P, I won’t make it thanksgiving” Merin says and it hits me. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask, wanting her alive in spite of our differences.

“My time here is coming to an end,” Merin says, talking in more circles.

“Why? There are too many doctors in the family for you not to have a second opinion on whatever it is” I tell her but she frowns shaking her head and sighing. She takes my plate heading to her kitchen.

“Knotty freaked out today because the man you hope she connects with has a brother who is dangerous and capable of bringing you harm. Harm gated communities can’t protect from. Harm Knotty would never survive. It isn’t psychosis - it’s love. You need to stay with her, especially when she’s with Carmen. Be present. I’d go if I could but outside this house it’d be clear I was sick Knotty would notice and worry. There’s no time for that” Merin says. As much as I mistrust her I know she really does genuinely love my daughter, the same way she did Ma. I see in her eyes that she is sick. Her typically bright hazel eyes are weary and she is thinner now that I focus on her frame. I hear footsteps and turn to see Knotty in a bubu ready for bed. She looks more at home here than she does at my house. 

“What are you two discussing?” She asks.

“You” Merin says, earning an eye roll from Knotty.

“My mother thinks I’m psychotic.”

“No she doesn't, she's just afraid of what believing you will mean.” Merin says I don’t correct her as Knotty gets comfortable on the couch. “I’m gonna shower, I’ll look for something for you to sleep in P. Sun is setting, so you can leave in the morning.” 

———

Eli (Elijah ‘Smoke’ Moore)

When I ran into the James' and they told me Knotty would attend this fundraiser it was the first time I felt excited in years. That summer in Mississippi was hell until she showed up and then it was a different type of headache. She was the greenest kid I’d ever seen - something about that made her precious. She had no fear or a self-conscious bone in her body. She was like a ray of sunshine bouncing around in the summer heat untouched by the weight of the history. I met her grandmother first. I was bringing her water as Knotty was drawing and singing too loud. The old woman saw the look on my face and smiled. “She’s their wildest dreams” she had said and it stuck with me. It was clear she was privileged. Two parents that loved each other, money, family, a happy child under no threat. Knotty has always been a little odd but she was never sad orr composed. 

I know people change when they grow up but something wasn’t right with Knotty, it was like she was afraid. The girl without fear. I feel the need to check up on her even though I wouldn’t do this shit for anyone else but Knotty’s always needed protection. I make the turn the GPS advises and stop in front of Bonnie’s Apothecary. I hop out and check my surroundings before heading in. The bell rings as the door opens and Knotty is rearranging items on a ladder. She waits looking me over for a moment before climbing down. The store's ambiance is clean and modern, not exactly the Knotty I remember.

“Eli?” she says but there’s a question in it.

“Who else would it be?” I ask and she nods.

“Right, what do you need?” She asks, looking around.

“This all you?” I ask and she nods. I see silver link bracelets hanging and remember the one she made with reeds of grass as kids. I chose a blue one with a silver coin. I can’t make out the coins design but it makes her smile as she comes over to me smelling divine.

“Protection”  she says taking the bracelet when her hands brush mine there’s an electric shock. She looks down at her footwear. “Sorry I’ve been dragging my feet around” she apologizes in shoes that are definitely a choice. Fur lined loafers.

“What’s wrong?” I ask like it’s my place after all this time. She smiles looking into her hands. Silver polish pops against her deep brown skin. I’ve never liked many people but Knotty was different. I watched her for a week after meeting her Granny. Knotty was always laughing, screaming and giggling like her world was new as she tried to fly kites, chase bubbles and decorate the pavement with chalk. It was silence that made me look for her. Silence and the congregation of her boy cousins. Then I found her in the river with a net searching for clams. If they weren’t patrons of my uncles business I would’ve fucked those little niggas up for playing with baby girl like that.

Knotty doesn’t respond, placing the bracelet on me and tying the  threads into a knot.

“My business isn’t failing, if that’s why you’re here” she says.

“I don’t think it would. People always need something to believe in. This is a second opinion and alternatives” I tell her looking around.

“Don’t mock me” she warns, stepping back. 

“Why are you so wound up?” I ask and she swallows, getting serious again.

“It’s more ridiculous than trying to find pearls in the river so I’ll save myself the judgement and scolding from a stranger” she says, cutting me.

“I’m not a stranger” I correct. “I listened to you talk everyday nonstop for six weeks” I remind her and she smiles. “You were gonna open one of these and find Atlantis and become a writer. Is it Atlantis?” I ask and she smirks.

“You’re mocking me again” she smiles.

“No I’m not. I came here to patronize your shop and pick up the book your pops said you wrote about natural healing … and figure out what’s wrong with you?” I ask and she walks around the island in the center of the store with tills. She picks up a book and hands it to me.

“Maybe you can put some in your gun range. In case you patronize the outdoorsy type. A lot of stuff in here can keep them alive in the wilderness” she says being the Knotty I remember. 

“How much will that run me?” I ask.

“I’d have to go home and run the numbers” she winks playfully.

“No lifesaving discounts?” I ask and she smiles for real this time. She looks at me again like she can’t believe I’m real. If I didn’t know her as well as I did for those six weeks I’d think she was checking me out like most women.

“That can be arranged” she shrugs, turning away from me and going to grab glass jars of herbs. She makes up a concoction.

“Drink this every morning” she tells me, placing a loose leaf tea bag set in front of a blend. “This at night” she says, taking a sharpie and drawing a sun and a moon on each beg instead of spelling out morning and night.

“What’s it gonna do for me?” I ask and she looks me over again.

“Make you feel better, protect you from lead exposure from your gun range” she says being sweet and the bell rings. A woman that doesn’t quite look right comes in with a smile.

“Your order is right here Mrs. Pace” Knotty says, stepping back into the center island of the store but I feel her hand slip into mine pulling me in with her as she latches it shut. She doesn’t skip a beat bending to find the order as I look at the woman who stares back at me with glassy eyes.

“Here you go,” Knotty smiles, pushing a brown paper bag across the counter.

“Good day Knotty” the woman says with a scratchy voice. 

“Good day.” knotty says and the bell rings again as she leaves. “Don’t ask,” she says, turning to face me again for a moment before getting a bag for my order.

“What if I’m allergic to something in this?” I ask.

“Call 911” she mutters sarcastically. An alarm sounds just as the bell rings again. This time a woman that is well placed walks in looking between Knotty and I.

“Hey Knotty, sorry I’m late”

“No worries Dora” Knotty smiles.

“Who’s this?” Dora asks.

“Old …. Friend” she says. Knotty puts the bag of my items against my chest stepping out from behind the  counter. 

“Look after her well, this morning was a red dawn. You know what they say” she tells me.

“I’ll be fine Dora, he’s not invited” Knotty says to the women.

“I didn’t pay” I remind Knotty.

“Lifesaver discount” she says, fanning me off. She heads into the back leaving me and her coworker. My hands tremble and I need a smoke.

“Meditation is good for those,” the woman says, pointing to my hands.

“Thanks” I tell her as Knotty emerges holding a garment bag. 

“I’ll walk you out” I say, relieving her of the bags. “What’s in here?”

“My cousin is performing tonight at a showcase. I got her a dress”

“I thought singing wasn’t safe?” I ask and she stops smiling.

“So you listened to everything I said?” She asks. “And you still remember?”

“Wilder tales have never been spun” I tell her and she smiles some more popping her trunk.

“Thanks for helping me and stopping by” she says trying to get rid of me.

“Where’s this performance happening?” I ask.

“You really have nothing better to do?” she asks.

“I figure it might be good for business” I shrug but she doesn’t buy it. 

“Do you have a nickname?” she asks.

“In the military they called me Smoke” I tell her and her eyes close. 

“That’ll do,” she says serious again.

“You really hate killing don’t you?” I ask.

“Give me your phone number. I’ll go ahead and help my cousin set up. You text me when you’re there. In the meantime khakis won’t cut it. Jeans a black tee, a watch. Whatever you have. Think rapper or actor if you want to fit in” she instructs.

“You don’t like my outfit?” I ask her.

“I care about character. Carmen cares about clothes and I don’t want to make her look bad” she explains as I hand her my phone. She sends herself a message and then tells me the time and place. 

“Send me some pictures so I can figure it out” I say before I know why. She pulls out her phone, taking screenshots and sending them to me. 

_____

Knotty

I try to shake the feeling gnawing at me, try to ground myself in the moment instead of the realm of possibilities. Carmen’s worked too hard  for me to tell her not to sing so I’m doing the next best thing - bringing her an outfit that can double as protection to put my mind at ease. Which it was before Eli came in, his larger than life aura and his protective stare. I wonder how I missed it back then, how close he was to Smoke of the Smokestack twins. His name Elijah is the same and he never seemed to smile. I learned quickly the meaner his glare was at me the more he was fighting, setting his dimples free. He was patient with me then and somehow that same patience has carried over to now. How we’re both in the same city again at this time is beyond me. The proximity of today's date to the 15th and 16th of October is another unnerving reality. Merin has answers but they aren't ready for me yet. I check my messages from her before exiting the car. I see sunsets in a little over and set a timer to be out before then.

I feel like a bag lady as I enter the venue. I’m so preoccupied I almost don’t notice the energy of this place. Thankfully security is kind enough to take the garment bag and suitcase off my hands so I can present Carmen with flowers. Her name is on the door and she answers in a moment after I knock. Her hair is pin curls and her make up is almost done by the looks of it. She’s bright today and light too with strong energy.

“Thank you” I smile as security sets down what I’ve brought. Carmen takes the flowers from me with a smile.

“You wouldn’t believe the last time someone bought me flowers,” she says.

“Aren’t you always dating?” I ask, surprised.

“Clearly I don’t date gentlemen. Speaking of - you smell like cologne” Carmen says awfully quick. “Not the expensive kind.” She frowns, making me laugh.

“My parents are trying to set me up again but I don’t think the guy knows he’s being used as a pawn”

“Knotty, you’re gorgeous. The sound engineer and producer both wanted your number. If he doesn’t know he’s still there for the same reason” Carmen says but I’ve never liked the gorgeous compliment on its own.

“Tonight’s all about you but he’s stopping by”

“Knotty bringing around a nigga. Must be special” she says, pouring herself a shot.

“It’s not like that. Do you remember the summer vacation we spent in Mississippi as a family?” I ask Carmen.

“Who could forget it, I’m not sure how Granny survived childhood with the bugs, the reptiles and the heat” she says.

“Remember the boy that saved me from the gators?”

“One with the braids?”

“Yeah”

“It’s him” I say and she smiles.

“What I remember is he didn’t play about you. He had the boys in line. It was good, they feared a country asswhoopin’” She recalls with accuracy, amusing herself in the process. “Is he fine?” She asks and I roll my eyes.

“Carmen…”

“Come on, talking about this is way better than me getting nervous about performing” she says and so I respond.

“Yes that’s being perfectly objective” I say and she grins like the Cheshire Cat.

“I thought earthy girls knock ‘em down the same as the rest of us” she asks winking as she takes up her palette but I know better. He’s someone else’s and wore that mojo bag for at least seven years straight. She’s all over him.

“I got you something for your performance” I change the subject and she giggles.

“Stop being so uptight Knotty” she turns perfecting her makeup look.

“I’m not uptight, Carmen I’m just not thinking of having sex right now”

“Or ever”

I sigh. “I have a lot on my plate.” 

“Like”

“You’re going on stage” I remind

“Like Knotty come on tell me” she says and I pull out the dress that looks like a chandelier. Her eyes bug out.

“Oh my fuck-“ she stops looking at it and covering her mouth. “It’s gorgeous, where'd you find it?” She asks.

“The earthy girl store” I tease as she takes it from me.  She holds it against her frame in the mirror and I get the slip lining options for it.

“And you matched my nude perfectly?” She asks to pick the shorts jumpsuit option that matches her skin to go under the dress.

“Sex sells” I wink.

“Knotty,” she says, hugging me tight. “Thank you for being here and going out of your way for me” she says. 

“That’s what family is for” I remind her but she scoffs.

“My parents scorn me and my brother is ashamed of me too.” She says. I squeeze her tight.

“Josh is- I don’t want to put my mouth on him” I stop myself. “You aren’t missing out on anything and your dad and my mom are from a different time. What do they know about the present they’re in their own worlds more than me. “Block out all the nerves and perform.” I smile, handing her one of my bracelets. She puts it on and there’s a knock on the door.

“You need to be backstage in five” security said and it takes exactly that to get her in the dress and to fix her hair. She looks ethereal when she opens the door. We separate and I go to find a good vantage point of her performance. The venue is one level with the exception of the stage but my heels are a helping hand. When Carmen is announced as Melo, I smile and when she starts I get goosebumps. It’s her poise and presence that’s captivating. I sway knowing the words already and see a message from Eli telling me he’s here. I don’t respond, not wanting to stop the video recording until Carmen’s finished. I get the subsequent applause and her thanks on video. I stop recording the same moment arms wrap around me from behind. My skin crawls. As alarm bells go off. The cologne is expensive and decadent.

“If it isn’t Delta Wise enjoying a griot sing” Stack says pulling my hips against his groin and whispering by my ear. I elbow him and he chuckles letting me go. I move through the crowd quickly, ceased by panic. I try to keep an eye out for Mary but it’s hard in the dark. I make it backstage as another text from Eli comes through. My heart races for his safety. My phone is snatched by a manicured hand only for it to be dropped when I look up Mary is hissing with her fangs out. I pick up my phone.

“Don’t you dare��� I hear Stack say from behind me I freeze but when Mary’s fangs retract I realize he’s talking to her.

“Stack, why the fuck are you always flirting with women when you have crazy here out of the asylum?!” I hear Carmen say. She pulls me to her. “I perform at your spot and bring all this good business and your bitch is fucking with my people!” She continues. All the warnings I have for her are lost in my throat.

“Your people?” Stack asks and I cover her mouth.

“Carmen, we have to go now!” I snap knowing the sun has yet to set. When I turn I see Stack’s wearing gloves and full sleeves. I understand why he was able to get so close. Thinking fast I slide the bracelets down  locking them in place around my knuckles as a ball a fist. Stack’s eyes track the gesture and he steps forward like a lion who plays with their dinner. I look to my left and see a fire alarm. Before Stack can read my plans I pull it. The sprinklers start and chaos ensues. I take a clear path holding Carmen’s hand. We make it to a hall with a clear path out when I’m grabbed again. Stacks hold tight.

“Stop fighting” he snaps, growing impatient. I punch him in the face, searing his skin with the silver and making him withdraw. I make it back to Carmen who’s stopped looking confused. A man is in front of her. I know it’s Eli when he reaches for me with concern.

“Her teeth fucking grew. Her teeth!” Carmen screams at the door when I feel the three of us be yanked back. I fall hard but scramble to get my bearings and when I do Smoke and Stack are face to face for the first time in nearly a hundred years. Both of them freeze. Eli’s chest rises but he holds his arms out to keep Carmen and I behind him ever the protector as he pants. Stacks teeth retract as his eyes bug out. I open the door to see it's nearly sunset but Stack doesn’t wince as daylight scorches him, searing his russet skin. I pull Eli back outside with me as he stares at his twin. Spirit knowing what this iteration of his brain doesn’t. Stack watches closely walking towards the light to keep eyes on his brother until his skin begins to bubble. Carmen screams and I let the door go. I don’t have to check her for a bite. Her dresses links are all silver.

“We need to go quickly before the sun sets” I tell her and she nods. I catch my breath and find Eli dazed. He looks down at me.

“Go where?” He asks.

“Follow me” I tell him.

“I didn’t drive,” Carmen snaps.

“Come with me” I tell her getting in my car.

“I’m not leaving you” Eli says, opening the driver's door. I hand him my keys.

“KNOTTY WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!” Carmen asked inside. “Smokestack twins” she says chest heaving.

“Seatbelt” Smoke says and we both obey as I turn to face her. Tears are streaming, streaking her make up ruining her day.

“How do you know Stack?” I ask and she looks dazed and confused.

“When I used to dance. He owned one of the clubs” she says. “And he’s a vampire, and vampires are real? And what the hell is he!” She screams pointing at Eli as I set our destination into the gps. 

“Knotty” he says and because I don’t have words I swallow hard connecting my phone to the car and telling them everything I know the best way I know how.

“Club Juke by Delta Wise - chapter one” the audiobook reads.

______

Authors Note: Soooooooooo this was a lot! Hope the multiple POV's weren't too much I know it's outside my norm but I think it's necessary for this story.

What do we think of the following:

Knotty's Mom?

Merin? (Mama Meringue)

Eli 'Smoke' and Knotty's relationship?

Carmen a griot?

What does Stack want?

Smoke and Stack seeing each other again?

What happens next?

Sound off in the comments. DOn't forget to reblog, comment, tag and leave a like.

_____

TAGS:

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@browngirldominion @queenofklonnie22 @tadjoa @fadingbelieverexpert @jasssdee1 @bluevenus19 @roughridah0 @cloudy-starz @heyyimmisunderstood

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[mostlymihawk]

Getting Sick!

Straw Hat Crew (+ Shanks + Mihawk) x GN reader

Prompt: How they react to you getting sick.

CW: Emetophobia (throwing up)

Luffy:

Completely useless.

The man's made of rubber, he doesn't have a clue what to do.

"Um...it's gonna be okay? It's gonna be okay, right?"

You have to ask him for everything.

Does carry you to bed when asked, and will happily snuggle you.

Then asks if you want something to eat.

Food is the solution, and refuses to understand that food can also be the problem.

Nami:

Holds your hair and runs her fingers through it at the same time.

Also dabbing your face and neck with a cold cloth.

Certified professional make-it-better-er.

She did a lot of throwing up when she was younger.

Childhood trauma combined with lying to your sister and working for your mother's murderer will do that.

Knows exactly what she would have wanted, and gives it all to you.

"It's gonna be okay. I've got you, sweetheart."

Keeps tabs on your temperature to make sure this isn't a symptom of something bigger.

Refuses to let you out of bed until you're 100% better.

Zoro:

Keeps his face carefully blank and gently rubs your back.

Looking away the whole time.

You know him well enough to know he does not want to be doing this.

Handles blood just fine but this is a whole other ballgame and he wants no part of it.

Happily helps you to bed after, because it means the gross part is over.

"Better out than in...I guess."

Then he remembers someone has to take care of the cleanup.

Tries to frame it as discipline training to make it better.

Usopp:

Useless, but tries his best.

"Do you need a cloth? Some water? I can get, uh...fresh pair of clothes?"

Standing outside the door, so you croak out what you need and he runs to get it for you.

Needs to be filling the silence.

If he's not asking you something and you're not answering he's talking about how this reminds him of that one time in the Forest of Doom...

Spends the whole night telling stories to help you get to sleep.

Gets a lot better when he realizes this isn't all that much different than barnacles and bird poop.

Unfortunately, the worst of it has already passed by then.

Confidently assures you he'll be ready for next time, though.

Sanji:

As a gentleman, it's his duty to take care of his significant other when they're sick.

He's damn good at it too.

That doesn't mean he has to like it.

His face is pinched as his thumb gently rubs your back, he dabs your face and neck, and offers you sips of water when you can manage it.

"You're alright, sweetheart. A little bit of my tender love and care and you'll be on your feet in no time."

And then he notices the colour, not unlike the blueberry reduction from the dessert you'd asked for after lunch.

Gently helps you to your room, and it's not until the next day that you notice anything is amiss.

In. con. solable.

No one has ever gotten sick from his food before. Ever.

Refuses to serve food.

The Straw Hats have to turn back to Baratie so Zeff can literally beat some sense into him.

Shanks:

Bonus!

This crew loves its alcohol way too much for Shanks to be even the slightest bit bothered by a little vomit.

Sits by your side, dabbing your face, rubbing your back, completely unfazed, cracking jokes the entire time.

"Snuck into the hold and had yourself a little party without me, did you?"

Knows exactly what to do to help you feel better.

Again, the crew loves alcohol too much for anything else to be true.

Cuddles. So many cuddles.

This crew is too experienced to let a sick crew member come back to work early, so despite the unserious approach you're on strict bedrest.

The whole crew makes fun of you...but only once you've recovered.

Mihawk:

This is not a man who routinely deals with people being sick.

Confused.

Why are you sick.

Who caused this.

Who does he need to kill.

(It's whoever cooked your dinner at that restaurant you went to last night, but you don't tell him that.)

Completely repulsed, does not let it show on his face while he tends to you.

Rubs your back very gently, and uses a cool cloth to wipe the sweat off your face.

Helps you to bed, sits up and lets you lean against his chest so you're upright, and encourages a few sips of water.

"Get some rest, my jewel."

The next day there's a doctor at your bedside.

You don't need a doctor, but the look on Mihawk's face says this is non-negotiable.

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + twenty one

authors note: good lord, ya'll was in a frenzy following that last one. hope this provides some clarity and closure.

cw/tw: angst, solana being very upset, and smut

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

gif belongs to @romanreigns

masterlist +story playlist + taglist request form

words: 8k

Solana’s cried a lot in the past month.

More than she’s probably ever cried in her life.

But the past few hours have to be the heaviest bout she’s experienced since her mother was killed. 

Everything hearts. Her head. Her body. Her heart.

She’s confused and angry and scared and nervous and so many different emotions at once that all she wants to do is scream, but she can’t even do that, because she has nothing left in her. She spent the night crying her eyes out, sleeping a little, then crying her eyes out some more. So much so that she’d be surprised if she got a good two consistent hours of sleep.

She just feels so empty. Like everything she thought she knew is now no more. Because it isn't. Because the man she thought Roman was has turned out to be exactly who he is. Not the….version he showed her. And she feels so stupid, so naive. She gave him so much, exposed so much of herself to him, loved him, and what has it gotten her?

The epic, incurable sting of betrayal.

And a part of her didn’t want to believe it, wanted to believe that maybe it’s not what she thought, but what was said was pretty self-explanatory. And if that wasn’t enough pressing evidence, the fact that Roman kept calling and texting her afterwards, probably realizing the phone was still connected, was the nail in the coffin.

Proof that he knew fucked up.

That he was caught.

That she now knows the truth about their marriage. About it all.

Solana couldn’t bear seeing his name continue to pop up on her phone, resulting in her just turning the damn thing off. 

She doesn’t want to talk to him, doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t want anything from him.

Just thinking about it makes the heavy lump in the back of her throat throb. She’s so tired of crying. Tired of it all. 

Turning over in her bed, a part of her wishes she hadn’t asked to cancel her therapy appointment with Gail, citing that she was feeling physically unwell. That’s not a lie, but Gail would be the perfect person to speak to right now. If only she had it in her to talk. But, she doesn’t. She has no words for what she still doesn’t fully understand. 

A knock on the door disturbs her from her depressing thoughts. Solana shifts in the bed, calling out in a weak voice, “I want to be alone right now.”

Bautista’s deep voice sounds on the other side of the door. “It’s a wellness check.”

Solana shuts her eyes. She should have known this was coming. She was practically silent during breakfast and retreated back to her room in that same silence, which was bound to garner a visit from staff to make sure she’s okay. 

With a heavy sigh, she kicks the blankets off and intentionally avoids looking at her reflection in the large mirror anchored on top of the dresser. She’s certain she’d hate what would be looking back at her.

Using the back of her hand to wipe at her eyes, Solana takes a deep breath and turns the knob, opening the door, expecting to see a nurse or maybe even Gail. 

But, she’s wrong. 

So wrong.

Because it’s neither of those women. Not even Bautista.  Instead, standing before her is none other than the one person she doesn’t want to see. At all.

Shaking her head, nose turned up, Solana goes to close the door. “I have nothing to say to you—” But, she should know better, know that Roman is not the man to ever be denied.

He reaches out his arm, putting an abrupt, effective stop. “We need to talk.”

Knowing there’s no way in hell she’ll win the battle for the door, she instead reaffirms her position. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

Solana turns away, heading back for her bed when she hears the door shut and footsteps. 

“Baby—”

“No!” She snaps, twisting around and jumping away from Roman as he tries to reach for her arm. “Don’t—don’t call me that. You’re a liar.”

It’s only now that he’s a bit closer, and she’s actually looking at him, that she sees just how….different he looks. Concerned. Worried. Scared, almost. “Solana, would you just listen to me?”

“Why?” She demands. “So you can tell me more lies?” Solana was all but certain she cried out all the tears in her body last night, yet standing in front of Roman, just looking at him, makes her sick. Makes her sad.

Makes her angry.

He swallows, tone dripping with anguish. “It’s not what you think—”

“Were you working?” It’s a simple question. One that should elicit a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer right away, but instead Roman just looks at her with that same wounded expression. With a tinge of something else. Guilt.

“Exactly.”

“Solana—” Again he tries to reach for her, and again she moves away. She doesn’t even want to be in the same room with him right now, let alone have him touch her.

“No!” She shouts, hating this. Hating all of it. The hurt. The betrayal. It’s disgusting to her. “I trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone, and you lied to me. You said you’d never lie to me. You said—you said you’d never hurt me, and that’s exactly what you’ve done!”

If not for the heaviness for this situation, Solana would be floored by how expressive Roman is being right now. No stoic, unreadable expression. Just a man who looks like he’s been slapped in the face. Like her words are more of a physical assault on him than any injury he’s ever received. 

Sniffling, she takes her hand and wipes at her eyes. She can only imagine how red and puffy they must be from all the crying she’s done the past twenty–four hours. “I know that—that I’ve been a lot, but you didn’t—if you didn’t want me—if you didn’t want to be with me—”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that,” he cuts her off with all the swiftness. His voice taking on an almost angry tone. Like he’s offended she could even fix her lips to say that. “Of course, I want to be with you.”

But, she’s not listening, Solana instead slips into the spiraling she’s done all night. That lane of self-blame. “I know—I know that I haven’t been the best wife, that I’ve been here,” she gestures around the room and points to herself, “but I’m trying—I’ve been trying.” It’s a cascade of emotions that have spilled out of whatever semblance of resolve and border she had around herself. All of her insecurities falling out in the open for him to see. “I’m trying.” She breaks down, hands covering her face as she cries into her palms. Sobs that wreck her body and make her legs feel so weak. 

But, it’s when she feels him directly in front of her, his arms around her that she shakes her head and drops her hands. “Don’t touch me!” Solana shouts, trying to push him away. But, he doesn’t budge, just continues to hold her. “Déjame en paz! ¡Te odio!” Solana progresses to angrily beating on his chest to get him away, but he says nothing, does nothing. “Te odio…..” Just continues to let her throw all of her hurt and anger at him until her fists grow just as tired as her resolve, Solana eventually falling and crying into his chest. 

Roman carefully lifts her up and carries her over to the bed, laying her down and not wasting a second to lie beside her, gathering her into his arms yet again and positioning her on his chest.

It’s such a confusing experience. She wants him to leave, but she wants him to stay. She hates him touching her, but she craves being close to him. He disgusts her, but she finds herself clutching onto him.

She hates him, but oh how she loves him. 

Solana cries until there’s nothing left, depleting her body of nearly all of its energy.  Her red eyes are open and focused on nothing in particular as Roman rubs soothing circles on the small of her back. But, it’s only when they’ve been submerged in radio silence for nearly ten minutes that he finally speaks.

Voice low and borderline hoarse. “I didn’t cheat on you, Solana.” There’s not much left in her to offer any sort of response other than the lump in the back of her throat pulsing. Throbbing. Trying to recharge for the next breakdown. “But….but I haven’t been honest with you either.”

She doesn’t want to talk to him. Doesn’t want anything from him. And yet, she finds herself asking, “where were you?”

“I can’t tell you.” Solana closes her eyes and shoots up, moving to get out the bed, away from him, But, Roman is faster, grabbing her by her waist and angling her, so that she’s looking at him. His eyes are soft and damn near pleading. Desperate. “Because I want to show you.”

—-----------

Solana hasn’t a clue how she ended up in this position. 

Sitting in the passenger seat of an SUV, Roman in the driver’s seat, driving them to a destination unknown but one that’s clearly not anywhere close to home considering it’s been almost two hours, and they still haven’t arrived to wherever it is he’s taking her.

She shouldn’t have agreed. Shouldn’t have allowed him to convince her to acquiesce so easily. Shouldn’t have let him inform Dr. Stratus and Gail that she’ll be gone for a day or two. Shouldn’t have packed her small bag and climbed in the escalade and allowed him to guide her to this unknown place.

Solana just hates it all. It’s why she hasn’t said a word to him. Not a single one. She just sits in her seat, body angled to the window, earbuds plugged in playing music that resonates so deeply with all of her emotions right now.

Every now and then, the feelings will brew, and she’ll have to quickly wipe away the silent tears, praying he doesn’t see them.

Though, she’s certain he does. 

She slips in and out of surface leveled sleep for the majority of the ride but is eventually woken up by Roman lightly shaking her shoulder. His expression is still soft, his voice calm, “we’re here.” 

Blinking back into awareness, Solana wipes at her eyes and looks around, seeing the car is indeed parked. Her passenger door is open, Roman waiting patiently for her to get out. 

She unbuckles her seatbelt, mouth dropping open when she sees they’re in the middle of a forest. Nothing but greenery surrounding them and the beautiful house that seems tucked away from it all. Solana is starting to wish she’d stayed awake. Turning to Roman, she asks, “where—where are we?”

He doesn’t say anything, just motions for her to follow him. And for some reason, she does. She doesn’t push him more, just stays close behind him as he walks up the stairs of the home and pulls out a key, unlocking the front door. 

Roman steps to the side and motions for her to walk in first. Again, she says nothing, just silently follows his directions, mind still racing about everything that’s happened as well as just what in the hell is going on.

Stepping into the home, Solana’s mouth naturally falls open. The interior is beautiful, warm in color, almost naturistic with the design. It feels warm and cozy and welcoming. Like a safe space for any and all who happen to venture into the literal house in the woods. 

Roman suddenly calls out, speaking in a language she doesn’t understand. Samoan, if she had to take a guess. Him doing so, however, makes her even more nervous. 

Are they not alone?

Now, she needs to know. Needs to have her questions answered. She grabs his arm, ignoring the sparks that fly at touching him. “Roman, what is goi—”

“And he says that I’m the one with the memory problems.” Solana overhears the almost aged voice of a woman, a voice that’s very much unlike the one she heard over the phone. “atalii o le uso, were you not just over—here?”

Solana’s gaze sets on the woman. She’s up in age, that much is obvious. Tanned complexion, warm brown eyes, her hair long and a beautiful combination of salt, pepper, and a brunette color. She’s a little on the heavier side, Solana taking note of the almost limp she walks with as well the disfiguration on both her arms. 

Burns. 

However, when her gaze switches from Roman to herself, Solana sees the woman smile brightly. A smile that’s eerily similar to the man standing beside her. 

“Well, it’s about damn time.” Solana is still trying to process just what’s going on when the woman walks over to her, eyes squinting with curiosity. “Such a beautiful girl.” Solana freezes initially when the woman pulls her in for a hug. Warm and friendly. Just like the atmosphere of the home. It’s…..comforting almost. 

The other woman is the first to end the hug, though her friendly expression remains focused on Solana “Hi….” Meanwhile, Solana remains abundantly lost in this situation. “I’m—”

“Oh, child. I know exactly who you are.” She waves off Solana’s introduction, almost playful gaze switching to Roman. “But, something tells me you don’t know who I am.”

At all. 

“Solana.” It’s then that Roman steps forward,  gesturing to the older woman. “This is Fetu.” He swallows, something flashing in his eyes. “My aunt.”

The past twenty-four hours have been filled with nothing but bombshells, but this one has to take the cake. Solana’s mouth is ajar, her gaze bouncing back and forth between the two. She sees it now. The same smile. Same eyes. The burns.

Similar to Roman’s. The ones he received the night his family was killed, family that included an aunt, according to him.

This…..this can’t be her….right? 

A different one maybe who coincidentally has the same type of injuries Roman sustained that night…..maybe.

Or not.

But how?

Completely taken back, she finds herself asking him, “your…..your aunt?” 

Fetu says something in what she would guess is Samoan. Roman sighs, loudly, looking over at Solana, expressing quietly, “I’ll explain later.”

That’s…..that’s very much appreciated, because Solana has so many questions.

“Men.” Fetu rolls her eyes. “They have such horrible timing.” Her gaze shifts for a second as she focuses on Solana. “Child, have you been crying?” That seems like an understatement. Again, Fetu speaks in Samoan, voice suddenly angry as she slaps Roman on the arm. “I’ll deal with you later.” She switches English and goes to move her arm around Solana, “come. I was just about to prepare dinner. Roman said you like to cook?”

At that, Solana’s eyes light up a bit. “I–I do.”

“Good, then you won’t mind helping this old lady, now, will you?” It’s not really posed as a question. More of a directive, Solana briefly glances back at Roman as she’s guided away from him. He simply gives her a nod of reassurance and disappears through the door they just walked through.

—--------

Solana likes Fetu. It’s a bit of a strong statement considering she’s known her for less than 24 hours, 12 hours even. But, it’s true.

Roman’s aunt is kind and funny. A spitfire who keeps a smile on her face the entire time they’re in the kitchen cooking together, the older woman so patient as she explains each step of the traditional Samoan dish they’re preparing. 

Solana is washing the dishes, with only a few left when Fetu calls her from where she sits at the kitchen table. Solana grabs the towel and dries off her hands, tossing it on the counter as she walks over.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Oh please, I know I’m ancient, but don’t make me feel like it.” Solana smiles and sits down in the chair on the adjacent side of the table. Fetu’s eyes are focused on Solana in a studying manner, a small chuckle leaving her mouth. “I see it.” 

Understandably, Solana is confused, asking in a small voice. “See what?”

“The light.” She answers, returning the smile. “Roman refers to you as his light. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. I see it now.”

Solana sits there, silenced and taken back for the 19th time today. “He….he calls me that?”

She nods, eyes twinkling with curiosity. “Among other things.” Solana would love to know just what those things are, but there’s something she wants—needs—to know more. A confirmation, really. 

“Was—was Roman here with you this weekend?” A question she’s been wondering from the moment Roman introduced her to his aunt, the only thing confusing her being the voices. Fetu is most definitely not the woman she heard on the phone. Her voice is too aged and scratchy. 

“He was,” she confirms, and Solana’s stomach drops. “A surprise but welcomed, nonetheless.”

Meanwhile, Solana is doing her best to regulate her breathing and not freak out on this poor, old woman. “I—was someone else here too?”

Fetu nods. “My younger cousin, Ava, stays with me as well, because apparently I need a caretaker.” She rolls her eyes, explaining, “she’s out taking care of some personal business but will be back shortly. I can’t wait for you two to…..is everything alright, child?”

Far from it. Solana doesn’t even need to ask any more questions, because certain pieces are coming together. The truth is gradually revealing itself to be something entirely different from what she thought it was.

“No,” Solana answers with a surprising level of honesty. “I—I really messed something up.”

“Does it have to do with Roman?” Silently nodding, Fetu makes a sound. “I see…..” She reaches over, placing a hand over Solana’s. “Solana, I know that all of this must be confusing to you, and it’s clear while I’ve been asking my nephew to meet you, today was not planned, and I’m guessing it wasn’t from anything good.” Solana says nothing, silent tears falling down her face. “And there’s much I wish to discuss with you once you know the full story, but let me just say this.” She gives a gentle squeeze. “There’s no one on this earth who my nephew cares about more than you. You have completely changed his life, brought out a side of him I thought they killed, that died that awful, awful night.” Solana gasps quietly, stuck on both the words as well as indirect confirmation that this is the same aunt she believed was killed with the rest of his family. “I know he can be difficult at times. Stubborn. Hardheaded. A closed book, but….you must understand the massive weight he carries. Even as a boy, they put so much pressure on him to be perfect.” She shakes her head, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “That’s why he kept him away from him, because I always just let him be a kid. Be human.” 

There’s continued confusion at the he part, but Solana doesn’t want to interrupt, doesn’t want to pry too much. Especially since there’s a not so light conversation she still needs to have with her cousin.

“Roman calls you his light because you are. Whether he’s ready to admit it or not, he needs you, and something tells me you need him just as much.” Truer words have never been spoken, “so whatever it is that happened, I can promise you it’s nothing you two can’t work through, because he’d do anything for you, especially if it’s to keep you.” 

By the end of it, Solana has a fresh set of tears, the beautiful words from someone who clearly knows Roman, and knows him well, meaning the world to her. 

The same way he does.

Even if…..even if her behavior earlier indicated otherwise. 

It’s why…..why she needs to make this right.

“Thank you,” she manages through the emotionality of it all. “That….that means a lot to me.” Because it does. More than Fetu could ever know. Clearing her throat, she stands up and dusts off her pants, sharing, “I think…..I think I need to go talk to Roman.”

Fetu chuckles softly. “I think you do too.” She motions with her hand. “Up the stairs. Last room on the right.”

Solana smiles appreciatively. “Thank you.”

The older woman says nothing else as Solana finds her legs carrying her to the dark staircase, up to the second level and down the hall to the room Fetu identified as belonging to Roman.

She starts to knock before entering but ultimately decides against it. They’re way past that point.

So, she opens the door, quietly closing it behind her when she hears Roman’s deep voice from a bit of the distance given the size of the bedroom. He’s in the bathroom ,on the phone, speaking in a different language. It doesn’t sound Samoan. Maybe Italian.

Regardless, she moves over and sits on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for him to walk out while also wondering just what in the hell she’s going to say. Sorry, of course, but what more? That can’t be enough. Not with how she acted. The lack of trust in him and their relationship completely shelved to the side, replaced with her borderline irrational behavior. 

She didn’t even give him a chance to speak.

Just the thought of how unfair she treated him bringing another set of tears to her eyes at the same moment the bathroom door opens, revealing a shirtless Roman, dark sweatpants resting low on his hips, hair down and clearly in the midst of air drying given its voluminous state. If not for the nature of why she’s here, of what transpired, she’d be distracted at him in such a state.

But, that’s not the focus. She doesn’t care about that right now. 

She just cares about him.

About making this right.

And the minute Roman’s gaze sets on her, he says something quickly and lowly, followed by him hanging up the phone. He places it atop the dresser near him, eyes never leaving her. “Solana, what’s—”

He’s silenced when she hops up from the bed and rushes over to him, practically throwing her body into his, holding him. Tight.

“I’m sorry,” she cries, uncaring about any sort of plan she had regarding how to tackle this. How to make this right. She simply just needs him to know how sorry she is. “I shouldn’t have said those things—I didn’t mean—”

“Solana, it’s okay.” Him holding the back of her head with such tenderness is an equal match to the gentle way he’s speaking to her right now. Undeserved in her opinion.

“No,” she forces out. Pulling back, she shakes her head. “I was—I was mean to you, and—and I didn't trust you.” He’s always been so good to her. It’s almost embarrassing to Solana how easily she could believe he could do something like that to her. “You didn’t deserve t–that.”

Roman, however, simply looks down at her with an almost nervous expression. “You weren’t entirely wrong, Solana. I was lying to you. Like Ava said, I’ve been lying to you.” He lightly taps on her hip and motions for her to follow him as he sits on the edge of the bed. Solana is right beside him, one leg up on the mattress, the other on the ground. “Fetu…..”

And just like that, she knows where he’s going. Knows what he’s about to share.

Truth be told, the past twenty four hours have been such a whirlwind of emotions that she’s not even sure this is the right time to be having this conversation, but it’s one that needs to be had. Whether she wants to or not.  Because she’d rather not. Rather not put Roman through any more unnecessary stress than she already has. “Ro, you—you don’t—”

“Someone dragged me out of the house. I never found out who.” Interrupting her, his voice is eerily similar to the first night he opened up about his family, about that night when so much was lost. “But, I—I couldn’t just stand there and let my family die. So, I ran back in.” Her chest tightens, listening to him recall such a harrowing night. “There was so much smoke and fire, and I don’t know how the hell I got to her, but I did. She was hurt and burned, but she could walk, so I guided us both out, but I got burned too in the process.” Fetu. He has to be talking about Fetu.

It’s hard for her to imagine him. An innocent 10 year old boy who’d just lost his family in the most horrific way still doing what he can to help. To save them. To save her.

Solana naturally moves closer to Roman, holding onto his arm, her thumb soothingly running over his tattoos. 

“I wanted—” He closes his eyes, and for the first time in maybe ever, Solana can see and hear the visceral emotions in his voice. “I tried to go back in there, but one of the firefighters restrained me, and I was too weak and injured to fight back. I ended up passing out shortly after that.”

“Roman….”

He continues, hard gaze focused on the intricate design of the large rug on the floor. “When I came to, they told me everyone was dead. Including Fetu. That she’d died from her injuries.” 

Solana gasps. 

What?

They….lied to him?

Roman, however, just continues to recall his trauma, expression still blank, voice betraying all of the emotions brewing beneath the surface. “So, for years, I worked to accept the fact that I was alone, because at the end of the day, Jimmy and Jey still have Rikishi. They had their brothers and mother. Rikishi had his own family. Everyone did. Except me, cause mine was all dead.” 

There’s something so heartbreaking about hearing that. Solana thinking back on how she felt the first time he opened up about his family’s murder. He’s right. They might all be blood related, but they each have their own family units. 

Roman’s, however, was taken from him.

“Then, when I turned 21, Rikishi finally told me the truth. That she was alive and had been living in hiding all those years. He was the only one who knew.” It’s the part she was still confused about that his continued explanation touches on, providing an answer but also something else. 

Anger.

“Why?” Solana cuts in, unable to help herself. “Why would he keep that from you? Why so long? Why at all?”

Why would he keep an innocent child away and separated from the closest family member he had left? That just sounds so….cruel.

Roman swallows, a dark, emotionless chuckle leaving his voice. “Said he was worried she’d make me weak. He wanted to be sure my training was effective, hence why he waited a couple years after I became Tribal Chief to make sure I could still handle the truth and be what they made me to be.”

Solana thinks back to her conversation with Fetu. Rikishi must be the he she was referring to.

Roman, however, keeps sharing, opening up more than she would have ever expected. “I don’t—I can’t come see her as much as I’d like to, because I don’t want to put her safety at risk.” That makes so much sense. All the sense. To keep her safe, he has to keep his distance. “But, when…..when I need to get away and clear my head, or I just need someone to talk to, I come see her.”

Solana thinks back to something, a few months ago when Roman up and disappeared for almost a week. “That’s where you went that one time…..you came here to see her?” He nods. She would have never in a million years guessed this. Guessed that Roman’s safe space is with the one person he probably needs the most but can only have in small doses. 

It’s almost inconceivable to her that his own family could do that to him. To a child. To deprive an innocent child of the only, close family they have left. To keep them separated so he wouldn’t be weak. 

It makes her heart heavy. 

It  only gets heavier though with the next thing that comes out of his mouth. “She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year.” Another devastating, crushing blow. “Some visits, she knows who I am. Others….I’m a complete stranger.”

“Oh my God…..” Roman lost her as a child, regained her as a man and is now having to intermittently experience that loss over and over again. It's so cruel and entirely unfair to someone who truly deserves the world.

She can’t imagine what that’s like for him. 

It’s like Roman is reading her thoughts, his next explanation touching on some of her questions and thoughts.

“Fetu is….she’s always been like a mother to me. My own mother….that was…..complicated.” She believes it. Doesn’t know how, but she just does. “Fetu was the only person—before you—to ever tell me that she loves me.” Solana’s heart simply breaks all over again, because just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, it does.

While her father never once uttered those sacred words, Nina never let a day pass without both verbalizing and showing her daughter all the purest love in the world. Solana almost finds it inconceivable that Roman’s parents truly never expressed loving him. But, when she thinks about it, it makes sense. 

His aloofness. His stoicism. It’s not just because of the titles he holds. It’s because of the upbringing he had. 

The lack of care and nurturance.

The lack of love.

Outside of Fetu.

“Solana….” His voice again takes on a desperate, almost foreboding tone. “Outside of myself, Ava, and Rikishi, the twins are the only ones who know about Fetu. Not even Paul knows. I know…..I know Naomi and Bayley are your friends, but—”

“Roman.” She brings her hands to his face, eyes locked with his. “I swear to you on my mother’s grave that I will never tell a soul. Ever.” And she means that with every fiber of her being. Nothing about what has and will be experienced will leave her mouth unless it’s through discussion with Roman herself. Not even the twins, even if they do know about Fetu. “And I’m—I’m so sorry I put you in this position. Where you felt like you had to tell me. If—if I knew—”

“But, you didn’t,” he cuts in, admitting. “And a part of me wants to be upset with you that you didn’t trust me, but the truth is I would be a hypocrite, because I haven’t been honest with you either.”

She wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to keep talking, that he’s been vulnerable enough, but something tells her not to. Tells her that he needs to get this out.

And she’s glad she doesn’t stop him, because his next confession nearly blows her away.

“I’ve—I’ve been struggling, Solana.” Her shoulders slump and frown deepens. “Ever since—ever since you tried—” he doesn’t say what, but he doesn’t have to either. She knows exactly what he’s talking about. “I’m a fucking mess without you. I think about you all the fucking time. The thought of anything happening to you scares the shit out of me.” Roman Reigns admitting to being scared of something, anything, let alone losing her, is something she could have never predicted. But, it’s exactly what he’s saying, and it nearly breaks her heart. “So much that when I read your letter, my initial answer was no, because I wanted you home with me. Because I miss having you around. I want—I need you around.” Her eyes shut, for so many different reasons. “I need you”

“And I need you to know that I would never cheat on you, Solana. Ever.” Tears forming again, she opens her eyes and her mouth to apologize again, but she can’t because he has to continue with the confessions.  “I love you too much to do that to you.” Her breathing is halted, focus centering in on the words that just left his mouth or didn’t leave his mouth, because Solana is all of a sudden questioning her hearing. There’s no way he just….no. “But, I—I don’t know how to love you either.”

It feels like there should be some type of cap on newfound, previously unbelievable things being dropped on a person, because Solana is at her absolute max. The past twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind, but this….this has to take the cake. 

Roman….loves her? 

The tears are definitely falling now. She’s more or less speechless, overcome by the emotionality of it all. “Ro….” 

“I don’t know how to love and be with you and still be the Tribal Chief and the Head of the Table and the Capo and every other fucking perfect thing I have to be all the fucking time.” His voice becomes increasingly bitter with each word that leaves his mouth, the full extent of the weight he carries all the time being laid out in the open for her to dissect and process.

This is the last place she expected their conversation to go, but that’s a moot point. What matters is that they’re here, and the last thing she wants to do is discourage him from being open and honest with her. She can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for him. 

Solana stands up and  moves in front of Roman, lowering herself onto his lap, bringing her hands to his face. “I don’t need you to be perfect. I never have, and I never will. I don’t need you to be the Tribal Chief or the Head of the Table. Or anything else.” She moves her hand to his chest, over his heart, speaking firmly yet gently. “I just need you to be my Roman.”

His gaze visibly softens. Relief. Happiness. Fear.

“And you say….you say you don’t know how to love me, but….what do you think you’ve been doing?” She smiles, head tilted.  “All this time, I’ve just been thinking how you are with me is because you care about me, and you do, but it’s much deeper than that. It’s because….it’s because you love me, Ro. I think…..I think you’ve loved me for a while. The same way that I’ve loved you for a while, We just….it took us a while to catch on.”

Because what Solana is now realizing is that the love has always been there. For him. For her. Always there. Lying dormant, waiting for both of them to step into the space of realization.

“And the honest truth is that I don’t know how to love you either. I just know that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and no one else I want to be with.” If it’s not Roman, she doesn’t want it. He’s her forever. “So, here’s what we’re going to do.” Smiling softly, she pushes back some of his hair.  “I’m going to love you, and you’re going to love me. We’re not going to question it, not think too much about how to do it and just do it.”

Because what is also true is that clearly neither of them had the best, healthiest examples of love and what a healthy marriage looks like. So, they have to make it their own. Trial and error. Living and learning. Knowing that at the end of the day, what matters most is their love for one another. 

“And you’re going to talk to me, the same way you let me talk to you, because what I do know is that people who love each other help each other out. You help me so much, more than you’ll probably ever know. Now it’s my turn to return the favor, okay?” 

That might even be the thing that Solana needs the most. Needs him to know that he’s not alone. He has her. He’ll always have her. 

“I’ll—I’ll try.” Roman nods, and Solana closes her eyes. That’s all she needs. All she’ll ever need. 

Pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. She tries to move off his lap when he just so slightly holds her, preventing the separation. “What’s—”

“Can—” He swallows, an almost nervous hint to his deep, usually confident voice. “Can I make love to you?”

It���s not a question she was expecting. Not in the slightest. But, her answer is an obvious one. Solana gets up to stand directly in front of him. Moving her hands to the waistband of her pants, she pushes them down her legs, stepping out, kicking the material to the side. 

Her fingers then move to the bottom of her shirt as she lifts it over her head, also tossing it to the side. Her eyes never leaving his, Solana reaches behind and unclasps her bra, breast falling freely at the same time her bra also tumbles to the ground. And lastly, with fingers hooked around the band of her underwear, she slides off and steps out of them, the last piece of clothing now piled with the rest. 

Completely bare in front of him, in more than just the physical, Solana places both of her hands on his broad shoulders and answers in the softest voice, “yes.”

Roman briefly closes his eyes. His hands move back to her waist, gently tugging her closer to him. Solana’s eyes also shut just as he opens his and drinks all of her in. “aulelei oe…..” Oblivious to what he’s just said, Solana is instead tightening her grip on him when he moves his mouth to her neck, starting a downward trail of kisses down her body.

She’s missed this. So much. “Roman….”

She releases a sharp gasp when he covers his mouth over her areola, his other hand softly kneading her breast. Solana can already feel the wetness pooling between her legs as he sucks on her nipple, finally releasing with an audible pop as he tugs her onto his lap so that she’s straddling him.

Her eyes lock with him as he lifts his hand to her cheek. “How the hell could I ever be with somebody else when all I see is you?” It’s a rhetorical question posed with so much tenderness and dedication. It brings tears to her eyes.

Solana brings her hands back to his face, voice quiet and purposeful. “Make love to me.”

It doesn’t need to be asked or said twice. 

Roman is careful in how he lifts her and lays her down on the bed. Solana moves up the mattress, watching with a steady beating heart as Roman starts to remove his clothes. Movements somehow graceful but determined, like he’s just as eager and wanting this as much as she does. Because he is. Because Solana isn’t certain they’ve ever wanted each other more than they do in this moment. This space of full, visceral vulnerability. 

Completely naked, a small flash of nervousness fills her as Roman moves over her, the heavy, lengthy weight of him semi hard between his thick, muscular thighs. It’s been over a month since they were last intimate, and as much as she wants him, she knows there might be some initial pain.

Roman seems to catch onto her anxiety, hand going to her chin, capturing the softest kiss before he assures, “I’ll be gentle.”

Soft smile on her face, her hand moving to his chest, she reminds him, “you always are.”

Roman returns his mouth to hers, engaging her in a sensual kiss full of all the longing and love that fills the room, dances up the walls and creeps through the cracks and crevices. It’s overwhelming in all of the right and wonderful ways. 

But the more passionate their make out becomes, her nectar soaks her inner thighs, the throbbing between her legs so bothersome that she ends up breaking their kiss, both of them breathing heavily. Solana pulls him closer, her thigh lifting against his hip, another gasp leaving her mouth at the feel of him warm and hard against her apex.

“Please…..” She breathes, eyes shutting when Roman lays his forehead against hers. “Need you….” Solana finds her hand traveling down his chest, venturing until he’s hot, heavy, and pulsing in the palm of her hand. She watches him release a shaky breath at the contact of her hand on him, his shoulders tensing almost when she moves to align him at her aching, dripping entrance. 

Roman reaches and stops her, Solana confused only briefly when he instead takes over, directing her, “hold onto me.”

She nods and lifts her hand, instead doing just as he advised, her wrists locked over one another behind his neck. And the minute his thick mushroom head presses against her velvety lips, they’re both moaning, breathing uneven. But before he can ask her if she’s okay, if she wants him to stop, Solana wiggles her hips and scoots down the bed, wanting more of him. All of him. 

Roman takes note of this and tips her head upward, claiming her lips for another kiss, maintaining and holding it as he continues to slide into her welcomed warmth. Solana’s hands shift to his back, nails pressed against his tanned skin, tiny crescent indents formed from the sharpness of her nails.

“Fuck. I’ve missed this,” he breathes against her once fully situated and settled in her. The fullness of and tightness of which, something that takes them both a second to adjust to. “Missed this feeling. So tight….just for me…”

They’re both so deeply synched that Solana doesn’t even have to prompt him to move, Roman’s thrusts initially gentle to continue to help her re-adjust, to reacclimate to the feel of him, so deep, so good.

“Baby…..” She moans, holding onto him, thighs pressing against his hips as he pistons in and out of her, her back arching, head falling back against the pillow. “Roman.”

Roman groans, his thrusts purposeful and focused. “Does that feel good, baby?” 

Her answer should be obvious, but Solana nods as best she can, whining when he hits that spot, that sensitive space that always brings tears to her eyes. “Yes, baby.”

Head resting in the crook of her shoulder, Roman reaches for the headboard, using it to steady him as Solana continues to hold onto him, ankles locking above his ass. “Look what you do to me.” Her whimpers and moans under him only serve as fodder for his determination to make her feel good, to make her feel a fraction of how he feels being inside her like this. “I’ve never wanted or needed anyone like I need you, Solana.”

“Don’t need anything else in this life. Just you. Always you.” Her eyes shut, still holding onto him as she kisses his temple. “And you can’t leave me, Sol.” Solana’s stomach coils and twists when he switches angles, somehow reaching her even deeper than he already was. “You understand me?” He steals another kiss, whispering against her mouth. “I can’t lose you.”

There’s something deeper beyond his words, something underlying and still incredibly painful for him. And Solana knows exactly what it is. Tears from a different reason brimming her eyes, she palms his cheeks, forcing him to meet her contrite gaze. “I’m sorry.” His eyes shut, and her chest tightens. “I’m so sorry.”

He’s lost so much already. Had more loss as a child than some people will ever experience in their entire  lifetime. And almost losing her, because of her actions is clearly something that he’s still not over, that she didn’t realize affected him as deeply as it did. 

And she hates that. Hates that she missed how much he’s been struggling.

How much he’s been hurting. 

“Never again,” she promises. Never again can she put him through that, can she do that to him, can be the cause of so much emotional turmoil for him. “I promise, Ro.”

He pauses, stops mid movement, opens his eyes and looks at her, fully vulnerable and exposed. Letting her in in a way she knows no one else is privy to. This isn’t the Tribal Chief or the Capo. 

It’s just Roman.

Her Roman.

Solana takes a sharp breath as he pulls out of her almost entirely only to enter back in, slowly, gradually, a breathy “I love you” falling out of his mouth. Once again, he somehow manages to reach a different depth that has her back almost completely arched off the mattress, her breast pressing against his hard chest.

“Roman.” She’s not sure she could ever tire of having his name in her mouth, on her lips. It’s embedded in her soul at this point.

“I love you,” he repeats it, hips meeting hers, Solana whimpering from the overwhelming nature of it all. “I love you.” And again, each sensual thrust accompanied by a confession. A vow. A promise. An oath.

The pleasure continues, flows, consistent and strong, depleting her body of all energy while filling her with a rapture that feels too beautiful to be human. It carries and sustains her until she absolutely can’t take it anymore, Solana’s orgasm strong and pulsing, her toes curling and stomach coiling. Roman talks her through it, loving and comforting, his own coming over him not even minutes later. 

And the minute he falls down on the bed next to her, his arms are around her, tugging her close into his side. He kisses her temple, Solana holding onto his forearm, murmuring, “I love you.”

A part of her expects him to not say it back, to somehow be limited to only so many uses of a term that’s, sadly, unfamiliar to him. “I love you too.”

But, he does, and it may be the best thing anyone has ever said to her. She cranes her neck to look at him. “Enough to start talking to me more?” A small frown falls on her face. “I mean it, Roman, you—you can’t keep holding it all in.” She knows better than anyone else how badly that can turn out. “You always say you’ve got me, but–but I’ve got you too.”

Emotion flashes in his beautiful brown eyes. “I know.” Is his reply, quiet but understanding. “I’m—I’m going to work on it.”

“Good.” That’s all she can ask for. Because Roman has been so patient and understanding with her. The least she can do is return the favor.  “And I’ll start us off….” Taking a deep breath, Solana decides to share with him a secret she’s been keeping. “I’ve been having dr—”

Abrupt banging on the door startles Solana to the point that she nearly jumps out the bed. Her reaction makes Roman smile when she buries her head under the blankets.

“Roman, you fucking asshole! You parked that big ass truck in my spot!” Solana peeks from under the blanket, curious to see her husband’s reaction at being spoken to so boldly but also realizing she recognizes that voice. It’s the voice of the woman on the phone. This Ava person, most likely. His cousin. “Pe e te fa'agaoioi pe ou te sasaina i fafo faamalama uma!”

Roman, however, looks unbothered and borderline amused. “O ki o loo i luga o le matau ki. Aveese oe lava.”

Solana taps him on his chest, asking, “what did she sa—”

“Ava! Leave your cousin alone!” Fetu’s voice also calls out from outside the door, Solana’s eyes widening again. “He’s having make up sex with his wife!”

And just like that, it goes from bad to worse. Solana wants to melt into the bed, the floor, the ground. Anything to escape this humiliation. Looking over at Roman, she yell-whispers, “she heard us?”

Her husband, however, still looks just as unbothered and amused as before. “Baby, you’re not exactly very quiet.”

“Oh my god, Solana is here?” Ava gasps on the other side. “I’m so sorry! It’s nice to kind of meet you! Sorry you got stuck marrying my asshole cousin.”

“This is so embarrassing,” Solana moans, moving to bury her head into Roman’s chest before calling out with all awkwardness, “ummm, it’s n–nice to meet you too!”

“Tama teine, leave them alone! They might be making a baby!” And it just keeps going from bad to worse, Fetu adding on. “Keep the Samoan breeding kink tradition growing strong!”

“Uso o le tinā! What do you know about breeding kinks?” Solana is certain her face is tomato red. She’s never been so mortified. “Anyway, I’ll meet you later, Solana. And Roman, fuck you.”

He rolls his eyes, Solana waiting until she hears the footsteps vanish and melt into silence to speak again. “I can’t believe that happened.” Something said, however, triggers a thought for her. The breeding kink comment, specifically. “Roman….should we….should we use protection or something?” He looks confused, prompting her to explain. “I don’t—I don’t want you feeling pressured. I want a baby, but I want to make sure you’re good first too.” She adds on, wanting him to know how sincere she is. “Or, I can get on birth control. I know it’s not really allowed, but—”

“You’re my wife, Solana.” He cuts her off, hand to her cheek. “I’m not using a condom, and you’re not getting on birth control.” She nervously licks her lips as he brushes his thumb over her cheek. “When it happens….it happens. Okay?”

She nods, eyes closing when he kisses her forehead. She goes to lay on his chest, Roman’s hand on the small of her back, gradually moving downward. A small, teasing smile grows on her face as she looks up at him. “Dinner is gonna be ready soon, Ro….”

He hums, smirking when she gasps at how he squeezes her ass. “My appetite’s not for that….” Solana giggles when he flips them, so he’s over her, her hands gliding down his chest. “It’s makeup sex, right?” His eyes are filled with lust, Solana moaning when he starts spreading her legs. “So, let’s continue to make up.”

--------

Translations:

“Déjame en paz! ¡Te odio!” = "Leave me alone! I hate you!"

“Aulelei oe…..” = "You're so beautiful."

"Pe e te fa'agaoioi pe ou te sasaina i fafo faamalama uma!" = "Either you move it, or I'll smash out the windows!"

"O ki o loo i luga o le matau ki. Aveese oe lava." = "The keys are on the hook. Move it yourself."

"Tama teine." = "Niece."

"Uso o le tinā!" = "Aunt."

[thinkingofausername]

Micah Bell headcanons:

He's only ever seen sleeping after he's gotten drunk so I imagine he has nightmares (aside from the fact he has extreme trust issues and can't let his guard down enough to sleep)

He didn't have a relationship with his mother or she died when he was little or she was abused by her husband. He never mentions her, we don't know anything about her. We know what his view on women is like. I imagine he got it from his father. He definitely wasn't born out of love

He took the majority of his father's wrath. We know firstborn Bells are traditionally named the same, so I believe there was a lot of pressure there

He's actually not all that cynical. He wants to be. All that talk of "nothing matters" is him trying to convince himself

He secretly wants companionship. It's been confirmed that he wanted Dutch to be a part of some sort of family of his. I don't think he's as much of a lone wolf as he wishes he was

He has abandonement issues. His brother left him and made another family and it affected Micah. It's seen in the fact he wrote to Amos as well as his behavior after his brother's answer. After Amos cuts ties with him for good he says "I want tomorrow to mean more than today. I want this whole damn shitshow to have some kinda meanin I haven't understood". He secretly resented his brother for doing what he never could - make a connection. He can only talk to people if he's riling them up

His father definitely forced him to perform his first kill. Probably when he was very young, so he would "toughen up"

In theory, I can see him having a somewhat good relationship. If his partner was tough they would have his respect. Trust would definitely take a while, vulnerability even more so, but I think he would show care in his own way - being posessive and protective, letting them handle his guns and horse (peak trust). We know how much he cares for his belongings. There would probably be passionate, adrenaline-filled sex after action, patching up wounds, cleaning guns together. A "partners in crime" sort of thing

He'd probably like bites and scratches during sex. Marking up his partner as well

He gave into the "hardened outlaw" life because he believes those are the cards he was dealt and the only ones he would ever have. He probably never thought he had a chance to be anything else

He definitely has a phobia of dogs or something similar. He very avidly reacted to Cain every time he got close, he even flinched one time

He genuinely laughed with Javier when they were drunk. He even said "I love you fellas". There was definitely a humane side of him, very deep down

His father never held any pride for him, god forbid praise. He craves hostility because it's the only thing he knows. He purposefully riles people up and laughs off every insult he receives

He obviously held genuine respect and admiration for Dutch. He wasn't just using him or manipulating him or buttering him up for betrayal. I genuinely believe he was looking for a place of his own. He never really showed an authoritative side or desire to lead. He said it himself that he's a survivor. It wasn't ambition, it was just searching for shelter and stability. That's why he ratted - the stability was gone

He died miserable. I could go on and on about his death but the main points are - he calmly accepted getting shot, he shrugged and silently fell to his death. That was not a man who saw a future for himself

I left the most biased headcanon for the end. Not to be the "I can fix him" girl but I genuinely believe a softer side of him could've been drawn out. I believe he could've had a "ride or die" person of his own. Two survivors, watching each other's back, suspicious of others but not each other, enjoying the uncertainty and freedom of life, two loose ends but tied together

[hello-nichya-here]

Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

[aingeal98]

Thinking again about what my favourite Cass moment is and it might just be this one from issue 37 because of how bleak it is.

This man is a thief, but he loves his kid. The mother not only doesn't love her, but exploits her for her talent with art and uses it to make herself rich. According to the law, one is a criminal. According to anyone with decency, it should be the other way around.

But Cass has just gotten a gift from David Cain. She's just figured out that he's her real father, and she's projecting so hard. It doesn't matter that he loves her and that she loves him. What he does is wrong.

The key difference here is that David Cain horrifically abused Cass while this father genuinely cares for his daughter. But Cass still does not fully see it as abuse. She sees the love he has for her, and that she has for him. The same with this kid and her father. The problem isn't that Cain hurt her constantly as a kid, she's heartbreakingly fine with that given that it was the only childhood she knew. No, the problem is that he hurt other people. He's a killer, and he made her a killer too. That's why his "love" doesn't matter.

It's such a good piece of character work because it shows why Cass's moral code, which is iron clad when it comes to killing and redemption, can also be flawed due to her own childhood trauma. There are these key elements of good and bad parenting that seem straightforward to everyone else but simply elude her, and all she has left as a framework is the law and her own projection of her relationship with Cain.

It's something she gets to work on and grow from. But as a character statement on it's own it's so tragically bleak and I love it.

[sepublic]

            Man. Imagine growing to care so much for a person and see how they hurt, how that hurt is hurting so many others, and then finding out the father you wanted back, who you thought had been absolved, was the one who hurt that friend to begin with and led to all of this?

            This moment gets to me because I can’t imagine King’s feelings about his dad and the emotional journey of them; The way he starts off as hopeful, surprised to consider his existence seriously! Before getting those hopes crushed, as he becomes bitter and resentful. And then at some point he feels a quiet acceptance, and opts to instead do the healthier thing and move on, focusing on accepting Eda as his mother; That’s part of the significance of that scene, it’s part of what prompts it. Not just the revelation he was a child raised by her, but that in his quest for one parent, he already has another who’s actually there!

            How did King feel about the Titan? It was used to justify a lot by Belos, but he was raised by Eda, who always recognized the Titan as not a tyrant, but a part of their world exploited and misrepresented. So he probably felt the same; No real judgment. And a lot of skepticism over the Titan speaking to anyone; If Deadwardian era witches revered the Titan as meaningful but still dead, the same could be said for Eda, and thus King. Did he think the beating heart in the throne room was a fake? That it meant anything, and wasn’t just being forced to move as part of the charade?

            And then King finds out his elusive dad and the Titan are one and the same. And he understands so much better why the Titan couldn’t be there and how he did care, after learning of the genocide, while still mourning because of the newfound loss of genuine love. He reflects on his dad and realizes they must be quite alike, as just regular people who wanted to be loved.

            So when King gets to know the Collector, it’s a pretty terrified perception based on Luz’s own misremembrance, and also a lack of crucial context. King forgave his dad upon learning her identity, realizing she was not for Belos either, etc. So when he learns the Titan imprisoned the Collector, he must believe it was for a good reason.

            But then he gets to know this kid, gets to relate to them, becomes a bit of a friend, somehow. And King realizes this Collector kid was actually just hurt, but they could’ve learned and were willing enough! So why then?

            And then it’s finally revealed; There was no justification. The Collector was a victim caught in the crossfire of their siblings’ sins, and targeted for it as a way for the Titan to feel like he could do something about this genocide, get back at the Archivists for slaughtering his kin and yknow I’d like to imagine and hope that losing the Collector DID hurt them, that the Titan lied about slowly killing the Collector just to make the Archivists feel even a fraction of what they’ve inflicted.

            But he didn’t have to imprison the Collector like that. And so it’s this quiet dread and understanding of the other side to his father’s love; That his father deeply hurt someone innocent, that King had grown to care for. In doing so, he unwittingly laid the foundation for other horrible things to happen, such as the entire coven regime. Not that it’s truly the Titan’s fault, but an act of cruelty begetted more cruelty, hadn’t it? For all of King’s anxiety about being a child failed by his dad, just to be relieved of that… It turns out his dad DID fail another child, who he’d gotten close to.

            But then his dad brings back Luz; One of the most important people in the world was lost and King grieved again, only to not have to, not just yet. He’d hear from Luz about the Titan and his regrets, and in the end comes back to that realization; That the Titan, his father, was not some deity but just a flawed person who made mistakes but cared a lot, enough to learn from them. There are different facets, some of them ugly and disappointing, like the realization for King that he was living under delusions. But in the end, somehow, he can work with this, and it’s better this way in fact.

[thefreakpanda]

I will never understand how people keep using the good old "Nesta let Feyre hunt" line when it is the most nonsensical thing and the easiest point to debunk.

Of course, we have to mention that Elain also sat safely at home and, no, "Elain is Elain" is certainly not a good counterpoint against that... Doe eyes and pretty smiles do not make up for everything.

But let's get into my points :

Eldest sister's are not second mothers.

Nesta is Feyre's eldest sister of three years and has no authority whatsoever on her little sister.

Speaking from personal experience, my younger brother and I have the same age difference and, in his youth, he made a bunch of decisions that I thought were wrong. I didn't hesitate to voice my opinions to him and did he listen? Abosultely not. Because I'm his sister, not our mother and I was a kid myself. What did I know anyway? (Not to toot my own horn but I ended up being right anyway which wasn't hard because teenage boys are STOOPID!)

It wasn't Nesta's job to keep Feyre from hunting. Feyre CHOSE to hunt. She made her own decision and it had nothing to do with Nesta.

2. Nesta didn't want Feyre to hunt.

Something that is still important to note because the way people talk about it feels like she threw her sister into the woods. She didn't. She even hated her sister for hunting and saving her family which, I agree, was wrong on Nesta's part.

3. When was the last time someone told Feyre not to do something and she actually listened?

Seriously, the entirety of the first book consists of people saying 'Feyre, don't do this' 'Don't go there' 'You might get hurt' 'You might get killed'... and Feyre doing exactly what she was told not to anyway. It's almost as though the threat gave her even more motivation.

So even if Nesta had tried to tell her sister not to hunt, do you really believe Feyre would've listened?

If something needs to be done and there's a safe way and a risky way to do it, Feyre will pick the risky way 9 times out of 10.

She also could have found a job. For example, she could have asked Isaac if she could work on his well-off father's farm. But she chose the hunting instead.

For that reason alone, saying Nesta let Feyre hunt is not only unfair to Nesta, but a complete mischaracterization of Feyre. A character some people claim to love so much.

4. Feyre made a promise to her mother.

That woman should have demanded that of her husband and no one else. Not Nesta or Feyre.

But if there is a positive thing to take from that promise, it's that it became Feyre's lifeline. It gave her purpose and kept her from falling into a pit of despair. She held on to that.

5. The most important point : there was a fucking parent in that house!

They had enough money to live on for 3 years without Feyre hunting. He could have found a job. He could have created another business that, maybe wouldn't have made him rich as a king once more, but would have fed his family.

And no, his leg is not an excuse. The limp didn't keep him from making a cane for himself or carving little wooden figurines. Didn't keep him from dragging his cot near the fire every night.

And did everyone forget that when Feyre came back home in ACOTAR, she noticed his limp had gotten better after getting his money back?

His leg didn't magically heal. It was still shattered as he counted the trunks of gold his daughter came back with. Or when he crossed the ocean when the queens called. He still had a limp when he was on that battlefield, finally fighting for his daughters.

The problem was never the limp. The shame he felt was more potent than the love he had for his children, that's all.

That man started acting like a father when he got his money back MAGICALLY. But he gets a painting, of course. Not the sister who endangered herself and went out of her way to save the world. (Forever pissed at that!)

[dreamweave01]

I just found this AU for a few days and is now really really (two really's) invested??? My God this separated AU is so fresh and unique?? (no offense to other separated AU creators, i love them sm y'all have no idea how many tears were shed reading them all <3)

Anyways i love the fact that the boys were yoinked from different timelines with majorly different experiences (and baggage ofc) and would love to know how that affects their dynamic with each other and their newly (re)acquired parents. And i wonder if Drax and Big Mama were the same in their own timeline? Like were they good with them, indifferent or straight up villainous?

Thank you for your time! <333

Omg thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it, this au has had a lot of trial and error XD

There's a bit that's changed with how they act around each other actually.

Mikey was obviously very excited to have his brothers back, but his biggest issue is trying to learn how to have brothers. He lost his when he was just a baby turtle tot after all, raised as an only child his entire life.

Now he has three severely traumatized siblings. It's a very new family dynamic for him, and he feels that he has to be the one to help them through their issues. He's the "okay" brother, the one that doesn't have demons inside, and his self-assigned role of family therapist is a lot more draining than he ever lets on.

Leo was very ready to jump into a family again, very eager for a second chance. To any unsuspecting persons, he's still the fun-loving face man (albeit older and with less energy than when he was younger.)

But he blames himself so much for everything that happened in his timeline, and he never lets himself lean on others when he needs it. It's his fault his family got hurt, so it's his job to make sure that never happens again. Even if it hurts him.

He was a little hesitant with Draxum and Big Mama at first (especially Big Mama) given his history with the two. He didn't know if the two had gone good in Mikey's timeline, but the second he met them, it was clear that they weren't the villains of his childhood anymore. He's quickly learned to see them as much as his parents as Splinter is.

Donnie is really really hesitant with trust. It took him months to learn to trust his new family, and even longer to learn to trust anyone else. He stays closed off, emotionally detached, because he's learned that's the best way to stay safe. If you don't care about them, then it won't hurt that much when they stab you in the back.

He's slowly learning that his family won't abandon him, but some scars are harder to heal from than others.

Now the person in Donnie's family that took him the longest to get attached to would definitely be Draxum. Donnie kind of gave the poor guy the cold shoulder for a while, would never be in a room alone with him, avoided talking to him. It was really frustrating to say the least, but eventually Draxum earned Dee's trust.

Raph for the longest time was always on edge around his brothers. Everything he did was controlled, he thought about his every move before he made it. He was so terrified to hurt them again that it took forever for him to finally relax around them, a part of him still believing he's the bloodthirsty monster the Kraang made him out to be.

When it comes to the parents, Raph's gotten very attached. He wasn't so sure about Big Mama for the first couple of weeks, but it became clear quite fast that she was a kind and caring mother who loved her sons all equally.

Baron Draxum and Big Mama started out as villains, yes. But Michelangelo was able to help them change their ways.

Now, they are two very supportive parents along with Splinter, and the three have become very important figures in the turtles lives.

Of course, this is just in Mikey's timeline.

In Donnie's timeline, Draxum was killed by the Shredder. It was the same in Raph and Leo's timeline, just with the Kraang instead.

Big Mama on the other hand became a bit of a recluse in Donnie's timeline, was taken down by the Kraang in Raph's, (no one is really sure if she survived or not) and in Leo's timeline, she was a bit of a wild card, but eventually played the hero card to help out the Resistance.