#by being The Bigger Person
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made it thru my first month at work so i get to be hybrid now! this is great-- i will have 2 days a week to do my PT and walk instead of wheeling. i am getting to use the creative part of my brain and skill set, which is also great! but the part i am laughing at the ceiling the most about is that i get to facilitate disability etiquette training for all three of my previous orgs!! pls laugh with me :))
#i literally only make it thru my life#by being The Bigger Person#in every aspect except that i am tiny#but god it's gonna be so satisfying to do this for:#a job that paid me the least on staff as EA to the CEO#the one where [musician guy] used me for podcast research#and a group of girls who asked me things like#'can u have kids tho??' on a regular basis#genuinely i feel so good abt everything in my life#i just need to find a man to lift things and braid my hair#(this time of year on my timehop is BAD)#tbd tbd tbd
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When Gomez Addams obsesses over his tol goth wife who he calls a million pet names, everyone calls them couple goals. But when a gay lil angel does the same thing for her tol demon gf suddenly it's toxic? As if Charlie isn't such a huge enough sweetheart to deserve having someone fawn over her anyways.
#hazbin hotel#chaggie#Vaggie's love is just Addams levels of DE-VO-TION now leave her alone#charlie morningstar#vaggie#there are ton of other het ships out there with one person being overly obsessed with the other#in much bigger scales than vaggie does#yet gets less criticisms#anyways#my art
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Fave thing about The Dream Thieves is when kavinsky said "I'm going to kill myself in front of them all to forever change their bond and the trajectory of their lives" and then did and they it just didn't. They're bonds and trajectories were unchanged. Never met a group of less bothered people.
#ronan has bigger issues#ronan has been there and done that#(that being seeing a dead person or whTever)#the raven cycle#trc#the dream thieves#tdt#joseph kavinsky
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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#codacheetah#my art#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat act 6 spoilers#two hat spoilers#isat spoilers#i have to draw ms paint memes at least once a month to cleanse my system. sorry#the last one is mildly crunched it says 'done with being the bigger person im about to start cleaving bitches in twain'#blood tw
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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hi im back from my million year hiatus is there still anyone in this fandom
#dear evan hansen#deh#evan hansen#jared kleinman#connor murphy#alana beck#zoe murphy#yall know that trend where a friend group goes on a trip somewhere and they each pick out a horrible shirt for someone else in the group to#-wear to the airport#thats what i was going for#bc this is a#shitpost#i did not draw the airport in the background my deepest apologies#jared picked evans shirt#evan picked zoes#zoe picked jareds#and alana and connor picked eachothers#if u even care#shoutout to chris for prompting this idea#and a bigger shoutout to the person in the mall wearing a shirt that said 'orgasm donor' yesterday who was the true inspo#as i was originally going to draw evan in that shirt being tormented by jared obvs#kleinsen#garbage.jpg#WAIT I CAN EDIT A TAG NOW WITHOUT HAVING TO DELETE IT AND REWRITE THE WHOLE THING#thats sick i should come back here permenantely
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The bias is not always conscious
And that's the case with Stolas. That's it, that's basically the post, so you can count it as your tl;dr, but let me elaborate. :)
(A little gratitude note! Sorry @tealvenetianmask, I failed being concise here, but I thank you for encouraging me to put it all together :3 I also thank you for our conversations about Stolas and about museums in particular which heavily contributed to it)
I think there's some misunderstanding when people get offended by the suggestion that Stolas acts classist/racist. It seems that people assume we’re implying he is malicious and intentional with it, but the actual problem is that he doesn't think.
S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 1:29
The problematic behavior we're discussing is reflexive and internalized. Stolas was raised in an environment where the lower demon class is looked down upon, and while he believes he expresses nothing but deep respect for Blitzø and treats him as an equal…
Goodnight, Blitzø. S1EP7, Ozzie's, 14:50
And while you can see from this bow that this intention is sincere, which is both wonderful and fascinating—he preserved this profound gesture ever since he was a kid, despite being actively discouraged from doing so!...
[Stolas]: I'm Stolas! It's nice... Ouch! [Paimon]: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us! Idiot! S2EP1, The Circus, 7:40
He was still raised in privilege and influenced by the narratives around him. For him, it's acceptable because that's what he was taught is fine. It's part of his everyday speech, and he never actually asks Blitzø, or anyone else, how they feel about the literally belittling nicknames (like literally—do you notice how often he uses the word "little" when referring to imps?).
I mean... there's a lot, okay? I'm just going to pull out some examples off the top of my head. All of them are from Season 1, and I'll explain why later.
I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 5:15
Ugh, that's better... Where's Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you, littler ones! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 13:22
And it [grimoire] isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty imps like yourself. S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 0:30
Greetings, tiny Wrath Ring imps! S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 8:22
[Stolas, in the background]: Who dares threaten my little impish plaything? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 18:20
How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 19:38
He also takes pride in being part of Ars Goetia. That pride seeps into his mind whether he wants it to or not. He lives in a huge palace, never worries about money, can arrange a seat in a club that’s always booked out, and gets admitted to a hospital immediately, while hellhounds wait five years for a Hellbies shot.
Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:39
Most of these examples come from Season 1 because, after the disastrous Ozzie’s date, Stolas begins to unconsciously cut back on this language. He seems to sense that something is wrong, though he doesn’t fully understand why. However, he is acutely aware of the problems with the transaction and the unfair dynamics it creates, and he is serious about putting Blitzø on equal ground by providing him with the means to run his business independently of Stolas.
And still, he maintains full control over the conversation during the Full Moon meeting, immediately dismisses Blitzø after one mistake, and throws him out. He continues to impose his narrative on Blitzø and…
I don't look down on you! How many times do I— When have I ever?! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:45
When have you ever indeed, Stolas? You literally look down on Blitzø saying that. This moment illustrates the problem clearly. He isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t look down on Blitzø because he genuinely believes he doesn’t.
Despite all said, Stolas is making a tremendous effort and is progressing, and he is far ahead of Stella, who is openly classist/racist and very conscious of her biases. So I believe—no, I know—he will get there one day. But not today.
This is something I take quite seriously, and I think people need to understand how dangerous this subtlety can be, as it happens all the time in real life too.
How often do you ask yourself why medical research groups are predominantly represented by white, cis, upper-middle-class males, and how this affects the efficiency of treatments suggested in these studies for everyone else—women, people of color, non-binary folks, and those who struggle financially?
How often do you visit museums and see art created by wealthy aristocrats who defined what constitutes 'fine art,' while 'folk art'—often created by marginalized communities—is overlooked and lost to time?
I could elaborate further on how deep and cruel this bias is, but I’ll stop here. I just ask you to consider why you might get offended when someone points out Stolas's subtle bigotry and why you might downplay it compared to the loud, aggressive Blitzø, whose anger and avoidant issues are obvious.
Just sit with it.
#and again let's exhale and repeat#Stolas's privilege doesn't mean his trauma or the bad side of being a royal don't matter#the only point is that he is just as flawed as everyone else#and if he isn't loud about it and is generally nice it doesn't mean the problem doesn't exist -- ACTUALLY IT MAKES IT A BIGGER PROBLEM#I actually relate to him in many ways just as I do to Blitzø#so please don't get at me trying to say I hate on him#I wish all the best to this owl and I love him as a character profoundly#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#stolas x blitz#blitz x stolas#helluva boss meta#akira's whimpery metas#it got kinda personal at the end lol
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yknow, I am amused that solangelo fanon was so tunnel-vision in like 2014 that in the midst of crawling through literally every time Will had popped up in the series prior, somehow the ONE singular instance of Will referencing something that the fandom did absolutely nothing with was the thing Rick then decided to draw out into being a major character trait for Will.
Like. Nico eats McDonalds once and it becomes a huge fanon thing, but Will references Star Trek and the fandom doesn't make a peep until Rick explicitly canonizes that he's a huge sci fi nerd. and Rick doesn't even keep it consistent! He changes it so Will is a Star Wars nerd instead of Star Trek. smh 😔 /lh
#pjo#riordanverse#will solace#this is in jest i hc Will is just a general sci fi nerd but i just find it funny that like#yeah Will being a sci-fi nerd DOES get referenced relatively early on in his character#its just literally nobody cared a singular bit to acknowledge it in fanon before TOA#and somehow *that* is the thing Rick went ''ah yes! a character trait! this will become a huge part of his personality''#also amused that Rick changed it from Star Trek to Star Wars. did Disney tell you to do that Richard. be honest.#Rick named his cat Tribble i know where his biases lie#also the fact that this line exists makes Will's later star wars nerd characterization even funnier imo#because it DOES imply he's a general sci fi nerd. possibly even bigger nerd than initially implied#cause it means he's largely familiar with at least two major sci fi series#which then implies that probably extends further. and again there is like next to zero fanon about this#fanon sees Will's sci fi nerd characterization and just goes ''...meh. nah.'' maybe gives him a lil star wars at best#this is a totally neutral thing i just think its funny#like now wait hold on. lets hear out his Avatar and DW opinions
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g-d bless femme ass hair 🥰
#ok to rb#fun fact: my phone always has to be in “group selfie” mode to get my ass fully in frame#also this is literally how caked up i am just laying down#i do think my ass could be bigger and better (cause it has been) and i hope one day to have the mobility to work on toning my muscles again#cause I really do miss going to the gym and being able to move and like. run football fields yk (actual thing i used to do bc marching band#i actually think im a very fascinating person if u can't tell. i am special bc i exist (: and so are you!#anyway!!! have a good day uwu#femme dyke#fat femme#femme4all#femme bait#butch bait#dyke bait#bunnyflesh
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This family dinner is gonna fucking suck
#'ox-eyed' is a term I stole from Homer (along with 'dog faced')#In this cultural context the term is used to compliment brown eyes. Not just applied to brown eyes in general but to describe#someone's as uniquely pretty (usually with the implication of a soft or calm gaze). Applied more frequently to women than men.#I've gone over Ganmachen before but that one refers to the ox birth sign and is a mostly complimentary epithet for people who#have the associated traits. It literally means 'ox faced' but the mache/machen word for face doesn't refer to the anatomical face#rather some perceived essential/fundamental aspect of one's nature being their 'face'#There's a ton of other '-faced' epithets both in regards to birth signs and not#and adding the -machen suffix to a description of a person emphasizes the quality being described#Like calling someone 'brave-faced' would be a bigger compliment than just 'brave'- describes this bravery as fundamental to their being#(I don't write this kind out in-text though because the concept of 'faced as descriptive emphasis' doesn't work in english)#(I'd just say like 'very brave' or etc)#'braileig' is the term for a horse foal in the western Highlands dialect. This started as Brakul insulting Janeys with the descriptor#'little lost foal in a blizzard' (which more biting than it sounds- describes someone as pitifully helpless). Janeys was paying#more attention than he thought and had picked up enough to recognize that he was being called a horse baby. Brakul eventually#started using just 'braileig' as a nickname
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sometimes writing fanfiction means completely mentally renovating a building's layout so your plans can even remotely make sense in it and that's okay
#IGNORE HOW I POSTED THESE ON THE WRONG BLOG EARLIER HDJGHD#so far my only personal additions have been an employees only entrance in the main hall and parts and service being bigger#technically also an entrance in the main dining area but it's probably located there anyway
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He'll make it back.
Loki 1x05 // 2x01
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#dianagifs#owenwilsonedit#marvel#for the anon who asked about my fav parallel this is it!!#for now anyway... 👀#forever a cautious optimist lol#the way loki finally isn't running they WANT to stay they WANT to come back to the only person who's ever grounded them...#in s1 mobius has already accepted he'll probably never see loki again that they'll be on to bigger better things#and mobius always wanted that for them so he makes himself move on then loki not only appears again physically fighting to be with him#but also making clear to everyone there's mutual respect and care and trust in being able to make things better including themselves#fun fact no one in their entire lives has ever put either of them first but each other so please enjoy thinking about that for eternity 🫠#loki s2 spoilers
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I'VE LITERALLY THOUGHT ABOUT HOW IF YOU WROTE A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG CROSSOVER FIC IT WOULD BE SOO AWESOME.. it was always along the lines of "I bet Erin would understand. I bet Erin would do it JUSTICE. Too bad they probably won't write it🤷" ANS YOU DO. YOU DO UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAAAAAANDDD dude if i could have any superpower it would be 1) shapeshifting HOWEVER if i couldn't choose that i would choose the ability to clone myself so i'd have multiple me's to do more stuff. i'd be pumping out fic after fic and art after art and still be able to do responsibilities
also i haven't kept up at all with MLB besides absorbing info via my mutuals but i do know that Damian should kick Lila's ass. (or WHATEVER her name is now???? she's bald or smth?????)
#adrian would be such a funny dynamic in the batfam#personality wise it would be mari who would get adopted I know I know#cuz that girl commits so many crimes in just a day-to-day life#that's not even considering the vigilantism#however Adrian fits the bill better#and personally I think he would be a way funnier dynamic#and while we're at it I got to let you know I would be writing my version of miraculous#cuz I did an entire fucking rewrite of that show#alighterwood and I came up with one a while back#i even have art for it#i am incapable of writing canon id treat MLB like it's my own creation#adrian wouldn't be so annoying#is that controversial?#probably#but sometimes the show's 'lessons' pissed me off#especially when it was one that Adrian was teaching#like nah son I think that sometimes you just got to beat someone's ass#being the bigger person is not the solution when you're actively being bullied by someone#erinwantstowrite
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have some kinitoPET content, 'cause why not
a version with YOU
+ a thing and a few YOU doodles
#silverware's art#kinitopet#kinito the axolotl#sam the sea anemone#jade the jellyfish#YOU#(yeah that's what i'm gonna call them)#all caps names are great. dontcha think?#750 pixel by 750 pixel canvases are usually what i draw on and some of these are bigger. i'm not too used to that-#i thought it would be important to mention they're not meant to be a Y/N. they are their own person- that being some random enby person#and their web world avatar CAN emote! however! WHENEVER THEY WANT! ('less they like. forget to actually have the screen display on-)#if they forget (or just don't wanna be like. really fucking expressive i guess-) it just says “YOU”#they all have a smily pin!! (well- YOU has a sticker but whatever-) and yes. kinito having it on his left#and the others having it on their right was.#very intentional#over the heart :)#also YOU having it on the left side!! (i imagine kinito made their avatar and made it match!)#FUN FACT! YOU can change the colour of the display! they just picked white (ik it's off white. but idc) because they know the HEX code#anyways. imma stop yapping lol
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