#buy bulk paper online in bulk

[papersupplystores]

Paper Supply Company in Oakland Park, FL https://www.woodyspaper.com/ As a reputable paper supply provider, Woody’s Paper offers quality supplies for businesses, printing, and more, supplying high-quality business and printing paper products.

[paperbagsmanufacturersindia]

Buy Brown Paper Grocery Bags Online at Wholesale Price

Gujarat Shopee offers eco-friendly, durable and reusable paper grocery bags for all your shopping needs. Make a sustainable choice with our high-quality paper bags, perfect for carrying groceries and reducing plastic waste. Shop now in bulk or wholesale for a greener tomorrow!

[disposablepaperfoodcontainers]

Buy Noodles Packaging Boxes Online in Bulk or Wholesale

Keep your pasta and noodles fresh with our best quality noodles packaging box. Gujarat Shopee is your one-stop shop to buy noodle boxes online in bulk or wholesale at best price in India. Shop now.

[polycraftory]

Getting Started: Junk Journaling

So you want to get started with scrapbooking/junk journaling? This is a craft, like many others, that you can get started on with very little supplies! However, we'll get a little deeper into stuff as well for some additional tips and supplies that might be fun or helpful.

What You Absolutely Need

Scissors / Cutting Implements - If you can, buy a nicer pair of scissors for your own sanity, but any scissors will do starting out! Detail scissors specifically are really helpful. Exacto knives can also be helpful, but you'll also need a cutting mat if you don't already have one. This category is worth investing in because dull scissors are a nightmare.

Adhesive - ZipDry is designed for paper so it doesn't bleed through thin stuff and it dries quick and clear. Double sided tape rolls are also very helpful, especially with large areas or gluing a bunch of stuff quickly. This is an area worth investing in earlier! Thin paper and magazine paper will have bleed through with certain glues.

Notebook/Paper - Use what you have! If you, like me, have a million journals lying around, use that! As you get deeper in, you might find it helpful to specifically look for notebooks that lie flat when opened. You can also use sheets of art paper if you want to go more independent collage style rather than journaling. Watercolor paper/notebooks are nice because they are thicker, but you can use whatever.

Materials to Actually Cut/Glue/Use - Okay, here's where you really can do whatever you want forever and spend as little or as much as you want. You can cut up books and magazines you have on hand. If you have a printer, you can print stuff out! People sell really amazing curated mixed packs of materials (you can support some great shops on etsy doing very cool and niche stuff! If you are really on a budget, amazon sells some bulk packs as well).

Material Tip

If you don't have a husband that works in a mailroom (we are very lucky) and you don't have a lot of magazines on hand, try going to your local post office and dig through the recycling bin! A lot of people will throw out magazines/ads/catalogues there and you might find some gems. You can also get a free trial for some magazines and just cancel once they want to charge you money. Nic finds Vogue and GQ helpful for people. National Geographic can be helpful for backgrounds and animals.

Leveling up details below the cut!

Level Up

Slide Cutter - Make sure you get one with a replaceable blade! Super helpful for bulk cutting out big shapes.

"Okay, but I see people online with fancy stuff and I want to get in on that action!" you may say. Here is some fun stuff to play with!

If you see someone whose junk journaling content you like, you can also just reach out to them! A lot of people are happy to share links to the stuff they use and a lot of junk journalers online run their own shops/have affiliate links to the stuff they use!

Fun Junk Journaling Variety Packs - truly this is where a lot of people spend a lot of money because you can buy all sorts of fun niche packs depending on the vibe/focus you want to go with. You can also buy packs of quotes / letters / sayings. This can be helpful especially when doing character focused stuff. My wife really likes the packs from PengellyCrafts on etsy.

Washi Tape - People really like using washi tape, especially the transparent ones. These can be surprisingly expensive.

Transparent Stickers - These are fun because you can get a lot of detail and layering without intricate cutting. If you are careful with detail cutting you can cut the white border on normal stickers if you can't swing transparent ones.

Stamps - Like transparent stickers, this can add fun depth and layering, though with perhaps slightly less detail. The best part about stamps is that they are infinitely reusable and you can get all sorts of stamp pads. The downside is they are surprisingly expensive. You can even get stamps that help you make backgrounds like stars or wood texture. There are also "container" stamps like jars and bottles that you can put stuff in!

Embossing Powder - You can pair stamps with a glue stamp pad (or get glue markers) to use with embossing powder and a heat gun to create embossed details that add depth and texture. Make sure you are careful about what order you do things in when using heat!

Distress Ink (or Distress Oxide) & Blender/Diffuser - Make things look aged! This is a stamp pad you can use to make any paper or image look older than it is. Make sure you also get the little foam blender they also sell for application since it'll go on too thick if you try to use it directly on the paper.

Wax & Wax Seals - Wax can be fun to play with because it is both an adhesive and also adds dimension. Note: a lot of embossing or wax in a journal can make it hard to close a notebook.

Old Books - You can buy used books or use books that you don't want anymore for backgrounds to cut out words. Things like recipe books and encyclopedias can be especially helpful/vibe-y.

Fun Edges / Frames - You can get scrapbooking scissors or edge punches to add fun details and shapes to paper edge. It just depends on whether you like that look! Something like a simple round edge punch can be helpful.

Have Fun With It

Do you do other crafts, like painting or cricut? You can pair so many different crafts with junk journaling to make a cool multi-media piece. The most important thing to remember is to use what you have and have fun with it! Don't put off starting because you want all the bells and whistles or think you have to spend a bunch of money like the people who create junk journaling internet content! Create joyfully and lean into the chaos.

Please let us know if this guide was helpful and if you'd like a more specific buy list or tutorials on anything! We are here to help make crafting more accessible <3 You got this! Go junk journal!

If you want to see Nic's junk journaling, we are going to queue some in the next few days. Check our pinned post to find our junk journaling tag for inspiration!

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im on partially diy hrt for nearly a year. i do not leave in the usa btw.

i buy the drugs from just some guy who deals it, i learned about him from one of my trans male friends, if you want to start diy hrt really consider asking if someone in your community does it also. i live in a country where lgbt+ and transitioning is practically outlawed, but there is still community out there, especially in big cities (over 1m people).

but if he dissapears i turn to resources for cis bodybuilders. idk it's pretty googleable, ive checked. again, always ask people in your country.

check your local laws, where i live buying t illegally isnt punished if the drug is bought from your country (its not contraband) and you do not plan to sell it. in this case if someone IS going to be punished, its your dealer.

for safety: check the ingredients of what's your buying, in the best case you should buy a drug that is the exact same as in drug stores, also ask what other people in your shoes are usually buying.

also if you can - buy in bulk. rn me and my partner have 9 months worth of t on our hands. this way you have more time to find other dealer if yours dissapears, and also it's much cheaper often.

also gel is generally WAY EASIER to buy without a prescription (even though you need it on paper)! many drug stores don't ask for a prescription to buy it, and you can go to multiple of them. also if you preorder it online and only go to the drug store to pick it up they are less likely to ask for the prescription. it's all still not 100%, but at least you don't have to look for a dealer or a bodybuilder website

needles are usually pretty cheap and do not require a prescription in a drug store. if you NEED to make something up why you need them - some of the common pain killers come in the form of injections

so, about the blood tests and stuff like that!

personally, i consult with an endocrinologist approximately onse a year, but i don't have any complications. you can make a visit online with a t friendly endocrinologist from another country - this won't show on any of your medical records and doesn't bare any legal weight. this way they can't write you a prescription, but thos us about diy hrt anyway.

ask about what tests you need to have done beforehand!

you can do all the tests in a private clinic and not tell them anything about your trans status. mostly they don't care. it costs money, but its more safe

but also you can tell some bullshit in the government clinic so they prescribe you some of the tests, at least the most general stuff. if they prescribe you to return with the results or go to an endocrinologist - you can just ignore that and JUST NOT GO. they are most probably very busy and understaffed, they dont care.

you should find a general guide to what levels of what you generally should have. id link what i use, but its all in a language other then english.

generally all of the things should be in the norm, except for testosterone and estradiol. prolactin should be in the norm.

of course it varies a lot and might be different for you if you have other health stuff going on, that's the reason you should consult with a doctor if you can. but it is possible on your own.

i really think people are way too scared of diy t many times. this therapy is often very straightforward, and there ARE ways to do it, you can even consult with a doctor while transitioning illegally. where i live transitioning, whether legal or medical is outlawed, but plenty people do it anyway. be careful and midfull, but go for it

sorry if my english isnt very good, i don't use it irl and its my second language

thank you so much for your help and don't worry, your english is plenty good for this kind of thing! thank you for all the help, if you think of any more information you wish to share feel free to ask!

[leebrontide]

A legit way to fight the climate crisis from where you're sitting right now

As promised, in honor of Earth Day, I've written some suggestions for how you can write a letter to the editor for your local paper, and reach some people who otherwise might get a more...shall we say restricted view of climate news. Letters to the Editor remain a surprisingly important political vehicle. People see letters to the editor and they feel like they're hearing from their neighbors- real people with authentic, down-to-earth agendas. They're the second most read part of the paper, after the front page. Take that stage!

Step 1- Pick an article in your local paper to respond to. Today is Earth day, and lots of papers will have at least something about climate crisis or environmental protection on it's pages. Local papers are better, because, as you can imagine, papers like The New Yorker get a lot more submissions to compete against, and anyways they don't have the same sense of local opinion.

Don't fret if your local paper leans conservative! That means it has readers we REALLY need to reach! And they may be more open to reading about these issues in a paper than online, which particularly a lot of older, don't feel like "the real world".

Step 2- Figure out what you're going to say! Maybe there's a glaring error in the article you want to address. BUT, if you're not sure, you can look up your local organization that's fighting for these goals. For example, I could look up and find MN350, because I'm in Minnesota. Going to their social media and their webpage/newsletter archive gives me an inside look at what people who are really immersed in these subjects have to say about what's going on.

So, for example, I see that my local group applauds Minneapolis's efforts at going to all clean energy, and has a timeline, but that people on the inside are saying that without a dedicated funding stream, people implementing these changes will have to either hope federal funding stays stable or fight for funding in the city council every year. Ok, now when there's an article about Minneapolis's plans, I have something to say.

Step 3- Draft it up.

The goal here is to be short and to the point.

Opening line: Identify which article you're responding to, and maybe your feeling about it.

First paragraph: What is the specific issue? What is a relevant fact and why does it  warrant public concern?

Second paragraph: What would you say that we do in response, or what would you ask your neighbors to do?  Why?

Third paragraph: What is currently being done to address the issue and how could people who have been persuaded act?

This should be no more than 150 to 250 words TOTAL.

While you're wording it, some things to keep in mind- stats and facts are good, but don't use a lot of acronyms or jargon. Expect your readers to be coming at this with about an 8th grade education.

If you have a sense of what the people you're talking to find persuasive, lean into that. For example, for my letter to the editor, I emphasized that chaotic funding leads to lack of ability to plan ahead or bulk-buy. I know the people I'm talking to like things to be common-sense and detest governmental waste, so that's an easy one.

If you want extra help, I have a list of best practices for communicating about the climate crisis right here.

Step 4- Proofread, then submit it via whatever process your local paper has. The goal, if you can manage is, is to submit something within 48 hours of the original article's publication. That's the sweet spot for most papers.

BONUS ROUND!

You did that, and still have a little energy for the environment left? There's one more thing you can do to super-charge your effort!

Guess what, you can stack the deck in favor of your specific letter being published.

But it will involve using a phone.

That's right, if you REALLY wanna turbo boost this thing, you're gonna call the paper (or have your non-phone-adverse-friend or family member pretend to be you and call the paper).

Call as soon as possible after the editor would have received the material.

Use pleasant persistence to speak with the right person. Don’t stop at a receptionist or secretary. Create enough POLITE urgency about your letter that you get through to the specific reporter or editor who will decide whether or not to print your piece.

Provide the editor with specific local info and urgency. Focus your conversation on why this issue is relevant to their readers.

Get specific feedback and/or a specific commitment from the reporter. If they don’t want to print the letter, find out why and what adjustments you can make to get it printed.

If they agree to print it, find out when you can expect to see it in the paper. The you can tell other people. Even if memaw isn't a big climate activist, she might show your letter to everybody she knows if she knows you wrote it.

And that's the process! I know that's a lot of information to throw at you, but ultimately, it can be pretty quick to crank these things out. And, again, these have been proven to be powerful persuaders. We need as many people as we can to be in this fight, so go and get them!

And always remember, you're not just combating ignorance, you're combating hopelessness, helplessness, and burnout! You can inspire people to think about what's possible.

PS if any of you actually do this, please let me know. It'd make me so happy.

@onbearfeet @basil-gardens @punkypine @rederiswrites @veritatemquarens @radioraja

[magicwithclass]

Reserved List

There are over 500 Magic the Gathering cards on the reserved list. This list is a promise to never reprint these cards in paper which means, that for these cards, the copies that exist are the only copies that will ever exist. The reserved list only comprises of sets from before the year 2000 so most reserve list cards are 25 years old minimum. You would think that the cards on the reserve list would all be astronomically high but very few are over a dollar. Many feel that the reserved list will eventually be rescinded but the failure of the 30th anniversary edition cards makes this seem unlikely especially in the modern era. It seems like a lot of money is in newer Magic cards especially with the advent of serialized Magic cards. Now may be the time to move in to bulk Magic the Gathering reserved list cards. Every year the number of reserve list cards in circulation dwindle. Cards get lost or destroyed or they enter vaults never to see circulation ever again due to investors and speculators. At the moment, old school Magic seems to be at an all time low so this might be time to move in to reserve list cards. I recently purchased a couple hundred reserved list cards in various conditions and over the next couple of weeks I will post them online and explain the logic behind my purchase. Am I simply wasting money buying bulk that will never rise above a buck? Am I a fool for diversifying my purchases instead of focusing on one specific reserved list card and attempting to buy it out? Only time will tell. However, I really do have a love and a passion for the cards and it makes me feel a part of the community to have a piece of magic history in my hands. It is an interesting feeling to own something where there are only a certain number of copies on earth. Isn't this the appeal of serial numbered cards? Are serialized cards just a modern day reserved list for a new era? After all, most of the cards on the reserved list are cheap for a reason. They are simply unplayable in the modern magic the gathering era in almost all formats. Most serialized cards are chosen because they see play and are highly sought after cards. Any cards seeing a lot of play on the reserved list are already astronomically expensive so what is the point? Well, no one can see the future and some cards that were completely unplayable just need the right card printed to become all stars. The only question is which cards will reach that echelon. Yes, I have some opinions on which cards are more likely to see possible play in the future but you never know. That is why I want to diversify my assets. Should a reserve list card below one dollar spike card I will likely have many copies of it in my collection. Should all cards on the reserve list eventually spike as people realize that once all copies are gone they are gone and the cards aren't getting any younger then I will have simply made a profit. Even now, I do think there are cards on the reserve list that are criminally undervalued. I also believe that one day a card will spike on the reserve list that no one will predict. I am going to show the reserve list cards I bought this month although I have been buying reserved list cards for years.

[vampire-meta-knight]

DIY Goth Shorts

Goths of Tumblr, grab your sewing needles and safety pins, because have I got a fun and easily-customizable project for you!

I’ve been gothifying shorts and pants for a couple years, now, and they’re just so much fun to make! Very affordable, too, since all the shorts I get are either thrifted or from Walmart. From then on, I add anything I see fit—patches (bought from Hot Topic and Etsy or DIY), beads, chains, safety pins, fabric paint, embroidery, charms, ribbon, lace, buttons—you get the idea. Lots of my lace trim comes from thrift stores, charms are easy to find in bulk online, you can get beads at Walmart or your local craft store, embroidery floss and needles can be found at Walmart and are cheap (and easy to learn how to use!), and if you don’t want to buy patches you can easily make your own by creating stencils with freezer paper (tutorials are on YouTube) and dabbing on fabric or acrylic paint with a sponge brush.

I’ve also tie-dye bleached and dyed some black shorts for a cool black-and-red and black-and-purple pair. I’ve customized long pants for colder weather, as well, which may get their own post if people are interested.

If all this sounds intimidating to a new crafter, worry not! I have some really simple pairs that took no skill. I don’t have pictures, but I have one pair that just has 2-inch safety pins on the hem and a chain pinned at the pocket. That’s it! No sewing, no painting, just pins!

I also have a pair that has sew-on-studs on the hem and one patch on the leg for a less-busy design if all the eclectic clutter isn’t your vibe.

Point is, you can add whatever you want to some shorts to make them uniquely yours. They can be as busy or plain, colorful or monochrome, girly or grungy as you like! Heck, they don’t even have to be goth. I encourage anyone who knows how to hand-sew or embroider to customize their clothes, no matter their style. It’s fun!

[jaykinarts]

Takin' Over The Asylum Merch PRE-ORDERS NOW OPEN ⭐️

[ ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO DONNA FRANCESCHILD ]

WAHOOO!! After a long wait, I've finally managed to set up etsy (a lot of the wait times are long due to busy schedules and also I used my post office's estimated delivery time covid adjustments. Rest assured I will keep tabs on your merch and hoping it arrives smoothly! If anything happens please bare with me as it is my first time selling online and I'll do my best to make sure it everything gets settled ! Hopefully they will arrive earlier as I just added more days to compensate if schedules dont work out.)

Products:

- Acrylic Keychain Resin and Glitter flinish with Star clasp

- 1.75" Button pin matte

-2x2 Matte vinyl waterproof stickers

-7x7 SATIN photo paper square art print

( Read the listings for more information and if you have any questions just ask! Im really nervous but excited and I just wanna thank everyone who has been following this project!! ENJOY YOUR MERCHENDISE ! ALSO I RECCOMEND TO BUY IN BULK SO THAT SHIPPING ISNT TOO AWFUL!!)

⭐️ Etsy Shop: https://jaykinarts.etsy.com

(I'll be reading some of the orders in a few or tomorrow afternoon as its quite late for me, again please bare with me and I will always keep you guys updated!! )

( for those who wanted to be notified when pre orders open: @finchyboo @randompajamaalt @graysonorson @payaliyaaaaaa @leon-swedfinqs !!)

[paperbagsmanufacturersindia]

Why Opt for Paper Grocery Bags Instead of Plastic Bags?

A brown-coloured paper grocery bags are the needs of the hour. As people are thinking about saving the environment, they are banning plastic bags and using brown paper grocery bags because it's 100% biodegradable, reusable and recyclable without harming nature.

[dexnola]

How to cut costs on a gluten-free diet

Actually several of these principles work on anyone's diet, or another type of allergen diet, but gluten free is what I know and what I serve.

My household consists of me and my partner; she's gluten intolerant and I am not. Our grocery budget is $120 a week (including standard household consumables like soap, paper towels, etc. that I also buy at the grocery store) and we could actually tighten that up more if we worked even a little harder at it. I do most of the cooking and shopping for our household so I thought I would share what it is I'm doing.

Eat as many "regular" items as possible

If there is a gluten free version of an item and a "regular" one that contains wheat, normally the gluten free version is twice the price. So one simple way to cut costs is to buy fewer of them. Some examples are packaged GF cookies and crackers, frozen prepared dinners, canned soups that say gluten free in big letters... basically anything that is marketed as GLUTEN FREE and says GLUTEN FREE in great big letters on the front of the package.

There are lots of items that are labeled "gluten free" but aren't marketed as such. Ketchup is often labeled gluten free somewhere on the package, but there's no such thing as "regular" ketchup that normally contains gluten. Those are fine to buy.

The worst offenders are bread and baked goods in general. Gluten free bread is very expensive. Don't buy things like frozen prepared cakes; gluten free cake mix or brownie mix is the better buy.

Here are some "regular"/inexpensive foods that are naturally gluten free:

rice; avoid pre-seasoned rice mix things

potatoes [regular and sweet potatoes]

corn tortillas (plain corn taco shells and tortilla chips are also easy to get GF)

all manner of fruits and vegetables [fresh, canned, frozen w/o sauce/other extras]

peanut butter

milk and dairy products in general

beans; dry or in cans

meat, especially plain fresh or frozen meat without extra marinades, seasoning, or obviously breading

fish [frozen and canned are least expensive]

I still buy special gluten-free stuff, but

it isn't the bulk of our diet

when reasonable, I let my partner eat them and I eat the regular version (e.g. I still buy wheat sandwich bread for myself)

i put in extra work to find the lowest price; comparing different stores, couponing, stocking up when I find a deal, etc.

Speaking of which,

Figure out what stores are the cheapest near you

A key part of this sentence is "near you." I do most of my grocery shopping at two stores that are 10 or 15 minutes away from my house. They are on the same street and in close proximity of each other. As you compare prices, keep in mind which places are realistically convenient enough to shop at based on where you live, work, and spend time.

I prefer a data driven approach and so have a spreadsheet with the prices of lots of items I buy. Doing it this way, you find that while no store has the lowest price on everything, it's easy to find a store that has an overall lower price on most items.

When comparing prices, remember to compare based on the cost per ounce or cost per pound or similar, not just the package.

In my experience, shopping at more than one store is the easiest way to balance many factors including price, selection, convenience, and quality. Most weeks I go to these two stores:

Wegmans: huge selection of items, low prices on some things, but higher to middling on others; lots of choices for GF items and things like special spices or vegetables that I need just once in a while

Aldi: smaller selection, but easily the least expensive on most regular groceries

I used to live near Publix, which is expensive overall but had a big selection and lots of BOGO sales where they would sell certain items at a loss. I would stalk the sale paper online every week and if they had something I ate at a low cost, I would go to Publix just to buy those items in quantity and then leave to go get the rest of my groceries at Aldi or somewhere else cheaper.

Use sales to stock up on stuff you eat when it's cheaper

For example, If I read the sale paper for the Aldi and I notice butter is $3/lb or less, when it's usually more like $4, I'm buying at least two if not three or four packages and putting some in the freezer, even if we're not low on butter.

This goes double and triple for any special gluten free item. Stock up.

Don't stock beyond your means. Start small as you study your household's patterns of consumption. Start with items that are not perishable: things in cans and boxes, already-frozen items. Also, only stock up on stuff that you know your family already likes.

When you are planning meals to eat, choose based on what you have stocked; shop your house first! Then go to the store to fill in the gaps.

Be prepared to eat at home on days you don't want to cook.

There are always going to be some days when you can't or don't want to cook. You get sick, you're too tired, whatever.

Eating restaurant food (takeout, delivery, or dine in) is extremely expensive and comes with a lot of risks regarding gluten. This is best avoided. Eating out will kill your budget faster than anything else you could do.

This is one time when I don't mind buying a specialty GF item, because while they do cost more than the meals I normally make, they are cheaper than eating out and also safer from a gluten standpoint. I don't mind spending an extra dollar at the store to insulate me from spending ten dollars later.

Some ideas for solving this problem:

naturally GF convenience food that can be tossed in the oven or microwave (at Aldi I have found GF frozen shepherd's pie, sometimes can get frozen tamales, instant mashed potatoes, canned soup etc.)

build a repertoire of meals that are made from "ingredients" but are less work than whatever you normally do; what this means is up to you, for some people it's a dump-in-instant-pot type meal, or maybe a microwaved baked potato and a bag of frozen veggies... at my place I make nachos once a week because they're extra easy.

special GF convenience items like frozen pizza or lasagna

Cheapest of all: make a lot of something on purpose and freeze meal-size portions for later. Soups, stews, and casseroles are all top choices. You can also do things like brown a lot of ground beef and then freeze it; later, you can make something like spaghetti sauce or sloppy joes and skip that first step. (Note that some people do ALL their cooking with this in mind and cook just once or twice a week, or even just once or twice per month, and eat out of the freezer the rest of the time.)

Keep a growth mindset. It might be that right now you are eating out a lot and your skills in the kitchen aren't great. Buying more convenience foods and assembling them at home still saves a lot of money. Once that's comfortable and you're used to the routine of getting food from the store then you can expand your repertoire of simple meals from normal ingredients, which builds your confidence so you can try making more things from scratch. Eating is complicated and eating with allergies/intolerances doesn't help. But it's doable. It can be done.

If I wanted to cut costs in my own household and reduce that $120 budget, I would...

buy fewer sodas and drinks in general.

set strict limits on GF bread. (like I'll only buy 1 loaf a month or something) work with partner to make sure she always has food for lunch and therefore doesn't care to make a sandwich.

Try reducing partner's cereal consumption; make other equally easy breakfast choices available; cereal is expensive

cook and freeze more homemade food and buy less convenience food.

prioritize cheaper fruits and vegetables. Decide on a price per lb limit that I want to stay within and stop buying stuff that is more than that (or buy them very infrequently). Things like apples, carrots, onions, bananas, cabbage, and broccoli tend to be cheaper

do the same thing for meat and also eat significantly less meat.

Hope I helped :)

[mavensupplies]

Hotels Supplies for Sale Online: Finding Quality Maven Supplies 

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[defilerwyrm]

Hi! I'm a trans guy pre on everything but i got my first doctor appointment on my local LGBT+ health's office and wanted to ask you, i know we all are different with our own doubts and experieces but still, what would you rec me to ask them? like in general doubts or explaining procedures/treatments. Bc sometimes i get anxious and forget to ask questions. Thank you in avance!

Howdy, sorry for the late reply! Let’s see, questions you can ask:

What are the benefits and pitfalls of each of the types of HRT available to me?

Which changes are permanent and which require HRT upkeep?

How will HRT affect my fertility or lack thereof? (Personal note: T is not birth control!!)

How soon should I start to see changes on each type of HRT?

If I get put on injections, will I be allowed to self-inject?

If so, ask for a demonstration of where and how to do it

How many weeks worth of T can I get at a time?

How often will I need to come in for blood tests?

(If you had blood work) Based on my blood work results, should I change anything about my diet or supplements?

Who can I contact if I need an emergency refill?

Who can I contact if something seems to be going wrong (not seeing results, unexpected results, etc)

What kind of surgical options are available to me? What kind of paperwork do I need for those?

(If you’re at all interested in or curious about surgical options) Can you recommend a surgical practice?

What all do I need in order to change my legal name and gender marker? Can I get help with the paperwork/legal aspect from somewhere local?

If you get put on injectable T: How should I dispose of my sharps boxes? (see below)

From experience: if you do get onto injectable T and are allowed to self-inject, shop online for three things in bulk:

1 mL Luer-lock disposable syringe barrels (I recommend BD general use, they’re great)

20 ga Luer-lock tri-bevel hypodermics (for drawing liquid)

23 to 25 ga Luer-lock tri-bevel hypodermics (for injecting)

A box of 100 of each will last you almost 2 years. Your pharmacy might offer you these free, but my experience has been that they’re kind of crap (dull needles are not fun); YMMV.

You can use a square of toilet paper soaked in 70% rubbing alcohol to sterilize your injection site, and another square to hold on the site after withdrawal afterward.

You will also need a “sharps box,” which is any sturdy, disposable plastic container that you can seal. You could spend $$ on buying a medical-grade one, but I just use an empty laundry detergent bottle. When it’s full, wrap the whole thing thoroughly in duct tape and write BIOHAZARD - SHARPS on each side. Where I live, I can just toss them into the trash like that, but it might be different where you live.

Best of luck, brother. :)

[sleepyrainart]

Little Bits of Valentine's.

A small series featuring little stories including either OP/JJk characters.

Summary: Sending nudes to your JJK boyfriend. Including: Gojo, Sukuna and Toji.

18+ Mature, smut, Female reader.

Seeing a flash of blue out of the corner of your eye. Your heart aches, missing your boyfriend. He left for a mission early this morning. But it feels like an eternity ago.

On second look, the blue isn't as brilliant as his eyes. But it's pretty, and it gives you an idea. One expensive splurge later, and you're on your way home.

When you return, you kick off your shoes. Stepping into your bunny slippers. Padding down the hall as you unbutton your shirt. Tugging it off as you pass the small bag between hands. It's left on the floor along with your bra.

You unbutton your slacks as you enter your bedroom. Slipping them off along with your panties. Stepping out of the pile of clothes and leaving your slippers behind.

Your feet touch the cold floor. The unpleasantness not enough to diminish your excitement. You shift the rose-coloured tissue paper. Gently picking up the flimsy material. Donning your new lingerie. Before walking into the bathroom. Admiring your reflection in the mirror. You look pretty in the baby blue set, floral pattern and delicate gold chains.

Knowing who would love this. You smile up at your phone. Taking several selfies. You pick your favourite. Before sending it to your boyfriend.

Gojo's laughing, watching the group of curses. They're swarming, trying to hit him. Never realizing how futile it was. They were too weak. Not even worthy of making him sweat.

His phone goes off. Groaning as he thinks it's the higher ups. He's more than pleased to see it was from you. “Oh, it's from my girlfriend.” He brags with a grin. Before seeing the beautiful selfie, you sent him.

“Oh,” he gasps, giggling manically. “She's so beautiful,” he gushes. “I would show you. But I'm the only one who gets to see her beauty. Then again, art should be shared, and you're not going to be here much longer.”

Back in your comfy slippers. Looking through the array of clothes in your closet. Wondering what to wear. Before you feel someone behind you. Startling since you hadn't heard anything.

Long warm fingers grabbing your hips, pulling you into someone's body. You look up, seeing your boyfriend grinning down at you. “You look pretty.” He grins, hands exploring your body.

“Aw, thank you, baby.” Leaning against him more. Arms stretching up to grab his hair. Your chest jutting forward. His hands take the opportunity, moving up your ribs. Tracing the band of your new bra, teasingly. Before cupping your breasts.

His index fingers tracing the floral patterns lightly. You moan and tug on his hair. “Satoru.” You look in his eyes. Finding them filled with passion.

“Hmm, tell me what you want?” His fingers still brushing across the pattern.

“You.” He grins at your answer. Mouth slanting over yours. His tongue invading your mouth. Your tongues tangle. His fingers brushing against your nipples. You moan.

Trying to pull away from his greedy mouth. Need for oxygen apparent as your head is feeling fuzzy, lungs starting to burn. He doesn't let you leave.

Hand cradling the back of your head. Lips pressing more firmly onto yours. You tug at his hair lightly. His other hand pinching your nipple as he releases your mouth. You moan loudly.

He watches you pant for air. Keeping your head turned to his. His fingers trailing down your stomach. Brushing your mound before his fingers are sliding across your pussy. Wet patch obvious. "I think these should stay on." He says before kissing you again.

Giving a strained smile to the familiar cashier. How many times had you come to this little boutique? Too many. You silently curse your boyfriend. He was the reason for it all. Ruining all your underwear.

You're starting to wonder if you should just buy them in bulk online. It would be less embarrassing. Rather than haunting every lingerie shop near you. This boutique wasn't the only one.

Browsing through the delicate lace, soft mesh and comfy cotton sets. You pick out a few things to buy. Before coming across a display mannequin. Wearing a white lace piece that catches your attention.

Not something you would usually wear. But it's cute. Finding it in your size. “Hi, can you hold these for me, while I try this on.” You ask the cashier.

“Of course.” She chirps. Taking the items from you.

“Thanks.” You say before going to the changing rooms. The sound of the thick curtain closing, loud over the quiet atmosphere. You strip slowly. Heart racing in your chest.

Hooking on the lace bra, slipping on the panties. Finally setting up the garter belt, something you've never done. Attaching the suspenders to the lacy garters. Looking at your reflection. Twisting this way and that. It's surprising how well it fits, like a glove.

You grin evilly. Grabbing your phone from your abandoned jeans. Positioning yourself seductively. Before giving the peace sign and taking a mirror selfie. Sending it to your boyfriend.

An instant reply. Full of misspellings, swearing and sexual vulgarity. Grinning bigger, you now know this was the right choice. Sukuna would only be this worked up if he was horny.

It was late, you're woken by the sound of the door slamming shut. You know who it, stomping to your room. Stopping in your doorway.

Sukuna looks pissed, neat brows furrowing, cerise eyes narrow and jaw clenching. Arms crossing over his chest, it should be intimidating. But all it does is ignite the familiar heat in your belly.

Staring at each other for a moment. “Would you care to explain what you were doing this afternoon?” He asks, deep voice strained in his anger. You hum, tilting your head, playing innocent.

His eye twitches, hands clenching around his arms before unclenching.

“Oh, so that's how it's going to be.” He scoffs, stalking towards your bed.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” You pout, still playing innocent. Stopping at the end of your bed. Leaning over your legs. Large hands on either side of your ankles. It's his turn to hum.

His eyes trailing up your body until they lock onto yours. He's calmer now, and that's disappointing. “I still don't know what you mean.” You whine exaggeratedly, pout bigger, eyelashes fluttering.

His scowl turning into a grin. He tugs at your covers. Pulling them down. You tug them back up. Holding them to your chest. Tugging them firmer now, not even using a fraction of his strength. He pulls them from your hands and slowly down your body.

Uncovering skin inch by inch. The cold air causing goosebumps. He licks his bottom lip when you're fully revealed. Wearing only the lacy set of lingerie. Dropping your blankets on the ground. He stands up straight.

Hand going to his erection. He's straining against his slacks. He palms himself, soft and slow. Allowing himself a moment of pleasure as he looks down at you.

The heat in your belly growing as you watch him. Shifting from your position. “Stay still.” His growl turning into a groan as he plays with his engorged tip. You pout for real this time. He's looking down at you with glee.

“Sukuna,” you whine, hoping it would prompt him to touch you instead. He grunts in response. Smirking at your frustration. While his hand speeds up.

Deciding if he's not going to help you, then you'll help yourself. Hands skimming over your breasts. You feel a tight grip on your ankle. Before he's dragging you down the bed. You squeak.

Now half hanging off your bed. Ankle still in his grip, legs opened wide for his view. “I like this new set.” He grins, still palming himself. Eyes roaming over your body. Before settling your leg over his hip. Leaning down. “But I think I like you better in red.” His sharp canines on display.

You're feeling horny. What can you say, it's been awhile. Closing the curtains, casting the room in an intimate dimness. Lighting floral scented candles, shadows dancing around the room. Turning on an upbeat tune before setting it to the right volume.

You dance slowly around the room. Teasing yourself with light brushes. Imagination running wild. Slipping off your clothes. Sliding playfully onto the bed.

You begin to imagine bigger hands, scar stretching with a smug smirk, dark lustful eyes. You whimper as you pinch your nipples. One hand trailing down your stomach.

Reaching between your legs, caressing your wetness. Circling your clit but not touching it, not yet. He would make you wait and make you beg. You're aching for him.

Pushing a finger inside your pussy. Curving it just right to tease the spongy spot inside. You add another finger, growing slicker. But it's not enough.

Groaning and rolling to the side. You open your bedside table. Grabbing the blue bunny vibrator and lube. Lubing the soft toy as a wicked idea hits you.

Grabbing your phone. Since it was his fault, you would make him suffer. Pushing the toy into your needy hole. Before turning it on. You record a quick video. Moaning over the music. The toy playing with your clit and g-spot.

Losing yourself to the pleasure. It takes a minute to send the lewd video. Throwing your phone to the side to be forgotten about. A hand clenching in the blankets. Hips moving against the toy. You feel the coil in your stomach pulling tighter. The rhythm too much. The coil snapping, juices flowing.

You don't realise someone's in the room until you hear them tsk. Eyes snapping open. You find the man of your fantasies, “About time.” He smirks and you feel your pussy spasm. The stimulation becoming too much.

You reach to turn the toy off. But he grabs your hand and then the other. Tying them above your head with the string of his sweatpants. He's so close, you lean up to kiss him. But he holds you in place.

Leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I loved the video. But I think it's missing the happy ending.” He rises a few inches, weight supported by one of his big arms.

The other arm between your legs. Plucking the toy out, only to push two of his large fingers in. Massaging your pliant walls. Hitting the spots you could never hope to reach. You're panting as he fucks you slowly with his fingers.

Another orgasm building in you. His thumb rubbing against your swollen clit, You moan loudly. Wetness coating your thighs as it gushes out. “So pretty.” He says as he continues fucking you.

Even with your hole clenching around the intrusion of his fingers. He doesn't stop, adding a third finger, stretching you wide. His thumb continuing to move against your swollen clit.

Your small candles burn out. Leaving the room in semi darkness. All you can see is his glowing eyes and shining teeth. You cry as a third orgasm rips through you. Tears pooling in your eyes as it's becoming painful.

You're relieved when you hear the wet squelch of his fingers leaving. But it's short-lived, and horror washes over you as you hear the familiar buzzing sound. “Come on, you didn't think we were done, did ya?”

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed.❤️

[all-hallows-street]

Guess whose financial mistake arrived early...

I will give more in depth looks later (I have to work to afford such questionable purchases), but a quick individual review of what I got:

Neil Demon Plushy

Not a plush toys collector at all; my closest reference is the IKEA shark. He is heavier than he looks, very sturdy (?) if that makes sense. Doesn't seem like he will deform any time soon. The details are adorable and I don't see any glaring defects.

All Saints Street Hoodie

Surprisingly large for me. I was worried they only had one size made for the Chinese market. I'm 1.7m (5 foot 7) tall for reference and this is still a bit too big for me. Will likely get too small for anyone over 6 feet tall. The quality is good! Very soft. Velvet interior. I don't know much about shirt stamping, but since it's not in the fabric I'm guessing the stamp might start to crack after multiple washes.

All Saints Street Vol. 1-3 Collection

Now this is something I can talk about more. The sleeve was unfortunately damaged in shipping and the books have very minor damage in the spine and vol 2 has a minor case of dog ears. The quality of the paper is great! It is color paper, not glossy one you see in comic book issues, but it's thicker than the black and white you see in manga. Would still make sure to have a dehumidifier if your storing place is not dry. I've already experienced book wrapping and it's painful.

Each volume contains around 80 chapters with one extra chapter not on bilibili. They also contain a message from Lingzi and WSJ's editor, plus all character bios even for ones we never got one (Enrique, Eduardo ans Anthony). And if a Weibo post is correct some might have been updated from the ones online (Axel grew 1 cm in the book bio).

Of course later I'll look over everything to see if there are any significan changes to make a note of. Also it came with this lol.

I have the Alice in Wonderland art somewhere, I'll post it later as well.

All Saints Street Anniversary Playing Cards

The playing card decks from the 6th and the 7th anniversary. As you can see I haven't opened the 7th, but I got the 6th a while ago on AliExpress so I expect them to be similar.

This is something else I can review more in depth, coming from a family that loves playing poker. The quality of the prints is beautiful, however I keep them in the box all the time because the quality of the cards itself is not good!

The cards feel like store bought cardboard; good playing cards are made out of cardboard, but this deck doesn't have the same treatment. They are so fragile, even by just handling them to get the face cards I've already made slight damage to the edges. I wouldn't play any game with them, much less shuffle them. I don't even want to imagine how much they will bend. Also the Crystal card came with damage (the small white spot on the edge) from the store. Pain.

Anyways. I'll frame the face cards because they are so pretty and I want to keep them in the best condition... I don't know what I will do with the rest of the 36 cards. Maybe practice magic tricks? Lol. Before all this I've been working on how to scan all the face cards and post them, but it's been more difficult than expected. If you have ever tried to digitize prints you will know. Once I have them, I'll post them alongside high quality scans.

When it comes to my review of PandaBuy... On one hand it was an excellent service and experience. On the other... I don't even want to reveal how much the shipping was. I wouldn't recommend anyone else do it unless you are stupid with your money (like me), even then

I would advice to do your own research. PandaBuy and all agents to buy from China are definitely better when you buy in bulk. My package was 'only' 2kg. Many people buy over 10kg to make it worth it. I'm already committed so if new volumes come out I will buy them, and maybe also get counterfeit Gucci shoes or something since that's what most people use this agents for...

That's all for now. Feel free to reply or send any questions you have.

[fantasticsandwich]

Assorted snippets from Pi.G.Mo

I feel bad for not posting in a while, so have some short stories! These take place in the same universe as Stockholm in Oslo, so again, some context is missing, but Darcy's is the "good ending," while Milan's is the apocalyptic/worst possible outcome.

tw: dub-con/coercion (in Milan’s), NOT CILLIAN content bcuz dude is in purgatory rn 😞

DARCY

Most of his classes are either online or at night and you're still juggling freelance gigs, so time isn't the reason you haven't met up in over a month. Ever since your favorite cafe closed down, you and Darcy have been struggling to find a new point of rendezvous. Houses are too personal. Parks and bookstores are too date-y. The mall is not an option because neither of you can choose stores you both want to visit, but you desperately need to torture yourself with his presence.

        After days of back-forth, Darcy concedes to your foolish offer. He decides that for now, the local Costco will suffice as host to the newly anointed Cost-Brunch. It goes without saying that neither of you have memberships, so you borrow a card from someone at the co-working you frequently. You arrive an hour early to get some shopping done. Wholesale prices are incomparable, so you stock up on toilet paper. Most snacks aren't to your liking, but you enjoy cycling through the sampling booths, indulging in just enough scraps to ensure that you won't pig out on Darcy's dime.

        Living alone has it perks. You can finally stock the fridge as you please, walk instead of traipse, and spend however long you need in the bathroom without being rushed. The one unexpected pitfall no amount of advice and sermons could've prepared you for was how you'd have to spend every day of the rest of your life deciding what to eat. Fortunately, you're fond of meal planning and dedicate Mondays to preparing your meals and completing other chores. Sometimes, you invite Darcy on these excursions. The anonymity of living in such a large town is enticing but despise how much you rely on his company. Meeting once a week for over a year now has caused the chemicals in your brain to broil and bubble over, sending your emotions askew.

        You must be a masochist, because you love nothing more than torturing yourself with his presence. Is it right to feel such a longing for a mere friend? Are you even more than acquaintances? Suffering through similar hellscapes doesn't make for a strong foundation, but when you're drowning at sea, you can't help but cling to the first piece of driftwood that floats by. Desperation makes every coincidence a miracle, every act of kindness a declaration of his undying devotion.

        Platonically, of course, because friends spend their weekends grocery shopping and reorganizing each other's pantries. What's friendship if you can't do that for each other?

        Sighing, you pile items from your list into the cart, shuffling along. On occasion, you struggle to wrangle an oversized box from the shelf. Buying in bulk isn't ideal nor optimal for your limited, but in the long run, it's more cost-efficient. You'll fork over a large sum now instead of having several micro-transactions.

        "Y/N?"

        In all your pyjama-clad glory, you turn around and discover Darcy, poised in business casual, curly coils askew beneath the Texan heat.

        Before you can mutter a response, he's approaching, taking the hefty load from your arms. Straining, he crouches down and slides the case onto the bottom rung of the cart. When he stands, you find yourself stuck between him and a looming shelf. Standing this close, you see beads of sweat dot his forehead, glistening. His long eyelashes reflect the fluorescent lights.

        "Oh, hey," you casually say, diving to the side to avoid his gaze. You drape yourself across the basket, but in your carelessness, the cart creeps forward, causing you to eventually smack your chin against the handle. Recoiling in pain, you shield your chin and stare straight ahead. With your gaze finally directed at him, you notice something peculiar. "How the fuck did you find a handbasket? What do you even shop for with something that small?"

        Lifting his arm, the basket slips from his grasp, nestling into the crook of his elbow. "I don't strive to live in gross excess."

        You give him your signature frown as you inspect his meager supply. A pack of chips, cotton swabs, and a comically large soap dispenser. "We're in Costco, buddy. There's no need to limit yourself."

        "Right," he says, somewhat dubiously.

        An unwanted lull cleaves the conversation. You hadn't intended to meet with him just yet, but now that you're here, you might as well prolong the day. Darcy agrees when you propose finishing your shopping together. Or rather, you relent your cart to him, allowing him to push it along while you snatch items from the shelves. When you approach the checkout counter, he separates his shopping from yours. Instead of queueing with you, he waves and waddles into the line running parallel to yours.

        Standing side-by-side, you stare at each other. An unamused worker passes between you two, pallets shuttling along.

        "Wanna get hotdogs now?" you ask in unison.

        You roll your eyes. He smiles. Mentally, you wonder how much that careless response of his would cost in gold.

        Shuffling to the food court, you shoe your way into line while Darcy plops his pathetic harvest into your cart and parks it at a table. He rejoins you, and you both pretend to ponder the limited choices before ultimately ordering two hotdog-and-drink combos. Side-eyeing him, you decide to tack on two strawberry parfaits. He moves to retrieve his card, but you grab his wrist to stop him. Perplexed, he tilts his head. You dismiss him with a huff and reach into your bag. You're so happy to see him. Anyone who makes you happy shouldn't have to pay in anything but time, which you will gladly take.

        "Nah, let me. I'm the one who wanted to come here, anyway."

        "Thank you," he says. Then, he adds with a strange, practiced cadence, "Very polite. Very considerate."

        "Shut up."

        You stop his nonsensical jabbering before it can ruin your mood. Grabbing the trays, you feign contempt and stomp away. Easily acquiescing, he grabs your elbow, allowing himself to be guided by you. With Darcy to protect, you effortlessly glide between oversized carts and distracted patrons, reaching your table at the end of the row. Darcy doesn't release you until you hand the plates over. Retrieving napkins and utensils, he sets the table as if it's fine dining, and not the Costco-feteria.

        "What a gentleman," you say, scoffing as he pulls out an imaginary chair.

        "For all I've done, it's the least I can do."

        It's a simple enough statement—perplexing, if you're considering his typical concise communication—but it warrants an eyebrow raise. For all he's done? Darcy has done more favors for you than you could ever dream of returning. That time he spotted you cash for rent when you were running short, the times he brought you food to fuel you out of a depressive spell, the countless more occurrences when he picked you up roadside when your car broke down, and all the times he was too social and friendly and nice to stay at your side and left you alone at that party when she was looking for you when the world kept spinning and spinning and—

        Upon second thought, maybe it isn't what he's done for you, but what he hasn't.

        But with how much effort you've put into forgetting, you'd rather not drown in the past.

        "Y/N?"

        His voice summons you back to the present, where you're strangling your hotdog. Ketchup oozes between your fingers like viscera. Grabbing a handful of napkins, you wipe it from your skin, but that icky, sticky feeling remains.

        "Yeah, all good. Just in awe of how I'm big balling, shopping and getting us both food," you plainly say, earning another laugh. Your heart melts. You love how he's all smiles and shrugs with you, like nothing bad exists in the world.

        "I don't think that's how that saying goes."

        Shrugging, you return to munching away, but that odd feeling won't go away. Something about sitting there, messy and paranoid, reminds you of college. You'd sit in the studio, wondering what to paint, if anything would be good enough to earn that extra few thousand in funding, if anyone would ever find your art worthy of viewing. But those sentiments hadn't lasted long: uninspired, you painted Darcy, and everyone has always loved harmless Darcy, so he helped you for the umpteenth time and helped you earn that scholarship with his looks alone.

        "Hey, n/n," says Darcy, leaning closer, covering his mouth as he speaks. You flinch away, smelling the grossly aromatic hot dog on his breath. "Do you know that guy? He keeps staring at you."

        A pang of dread strikes you when you see a gleam of that tight-lipped expression, hear the lingering vestiges of Her in his dry tone. You thought he was different, but he was also Hers at some point. It's no wonder that he might have one of her habits. Another person is giving you attention, and instead of ignoring it, you're betraying him by entertaining the notion. Then, with a jolt, you remind yourself that Darcy has no right to feel that way. He wouldn't. He can't. His mind is different from hers. He is only a friend and does not desire to be more.

        "I don't," you say with a shrug, though your hands tremble on your lap beneath the table. Like gears being cranked, you force your head to swivel. Discretion is for socially awkward people, so you stare at the figure despite Darcy's protest. A man in a black hoodie sits hunched over a slice of pizza, picking off the olives. You don't recognize his face, but unmistakable acrylic streaks paint his hands. Faintly, you recall a brush between those slender appendages, that mole on the junction between his index and middle fingers. "But now that I'm looking at him, he looks kinda familiar. I think we might've gone to the same high school. Some of college, too, maybe. I might've had the same time scheduled in the studio with him or something. What was his name? Something that starts with an M."

        "Oh! Then, Minhee, maybe? I think I saw that name, 'Toh,' on the lapel of his jacked, but I didn't really hang with anyone from any of the sport teams." Dragging Darcy into your shameless habit, you both offer the man a sidelong glance. Maybe-Minhee recoils, drawing his hoodie up to conceal his face. For a moment, when he turns away, you imagine yourself in his position, sitting alone amongst the crowds, pretending to be indifferent to your own loneliness.

        Indignant, you turn away, returning to your parfait. You hate people who remind you of those days. Spearing a strawberry, you watch its blood seep into the white. You give it a whirl, rubbing the carcass along the cup's transparent mouth, scraping off any excess yogurt before popping the fruit into your mouth. The ice melts on your tongue, then you devour the ripe berry.

        "Yeah, me neither. They were all sorta weird."

        Darcy releases a small laugh and slips his hand slips into yours. With a fond smile stretching his cheeks, he runs his thumb across your knuckles. You shiver at the contact but nevertheless drag his hand up to graze your lips. His skin is too sun-kissed to blush deeply, but you see how his head dips, causing his hair to sweep down and obscure his face.

        "Seriously, tell me about it. With how everyone else from our graduating class turned out, I think we're the only sane people who managed to escape that insane asylum."

        Most of your small class has taken meandering paths. While everyone's journey follows a different route, it's sad to see people who still cling to bygone moments as if Julimes High celebrated homecoming yesterday. You wouldn't be here if you placed any value in that time, and you don't see how anyone can claim otherwise. Work might dictate your schedule, and you might live in fear of not receiving enough commissions to pay your bills, but you couldn't be gladder that school and the perpetual half-life surrounding it is over. Living for yourself, on your own terms, is all that matters.

        You shiver. Darcy shrugs off his coat and offers it to you. You quickly zip it up and tug the zipper over your nose, hiding your flustered expression. He smells nice, like vanilla and sandalwood. Clearing your throat, you set your mind back on track. "Dude, don't even mention it. That hellhole shut down for a reason."

        Darcy laughs, displaying rows of pearly whites. His eyes twinkle into endearing crescents. Warmth blossoms in your chest. You love this feeling, the casualness, how he never asks for anything more. It's freeing, in a way. You don't know what you are. Friends found in fate, acquaintances bound by circumstance. Maybe something more, but you're too scared to ask and sever these fine threads. For now, he is happy with you, and simply knowing that is enough.

MILAN

Storms abound in sun-kissed paradise; summers in Belmopan are characterized by tropical monsoons. It isn't everyone's idea travel destination and houses too many decent memories, but your fiancée's wallet is loaded, and your pitiful protests are ashes beneath the flames of her cataclysmic will. For most couples, the honeymoon usually came after the wedding, but there wasn't anything conventional about your union, so you saw no reason to protest when Milan had the gall to propose the idea of embarking on one prior to the wedding before accepting the offer on your behalf again.

        The trip was arduous; a procession of suitcases jammed into the car, bidding a tearful goodbye to the Rosettis outside the airport, your own parents nowhere in sight. They didn't have a role to play in any of this. They didn't accept the relationship like Milan's did, so it was better if they had nothing to do with it. Somewhat hesitant, you had agreed: you recall how Milan out of your mother's house to a chorus of sorrowful shouts and shattering glass.

        What did you do to my daughter? You bastard! You should rot in hell alone! You've already caused us enough grief.

        What did she do? What hadn't she done? Even if you're grateful that someone could still love you, you have the sneaking suspicion that if you got a chance to travel back and change it all, you would ensure things wouldn't end up like this. In retrospect, you could see all of your mistakes laid out like dominoes. If only you hadn't offered to let the new girl borrow your fancy markers. If only you hadn't gone to that sleepover in eighth grade. If only you hadn't let her have her way.

        Exiting the taxi, you squint up at the sky. You let Milan pay the fare while you move to silently unload your suitcases from the backseat and trunk. Milan snatches up the carry-alongs. You stare longing at the pocket she's tucked your passports and wallets into. She's relying on you to protect her if someone tries mugging her, but if that fear is ever realized, then you'll find yourselves bleeding out in a gutter somewhere.

        You pile the suitcases onto each other, every finger extending to tug one along. When Milan seizes your face and presses a kiss to your lips, you think of how dead a gutter isn't the worst position you might find yourself in on this trip. You try shaking her off, but she steals your breath until content. You pull away, huffing for air. You're not an affectionate person by nature, but it's always been difficult to reject Milan's advances. Her head, resting on yours during the plane ride. Her hand, clamped around yours, all the way from the airport to your five-star, all-inclusive resort.

        Too dangerous, you say. Milan says she's willing to take the risk, but you are not. When she gets like this, you sigh and suggest leaving the public eye. Still refusing to catch a hint, she intertwines her fingers with yours. Somehow, the judgmental glares of a crowd are less pressing than her singular attention.

        The cool air conditioner hits you as you enter the lobby. The place is decorated with leather furnishing and sleek, reflective columns. You see your reflection on one and tug the hem of your dress down. As you wait for the receptionist, Milan moves to stand behind you, arms firmly wrapped around your waist. Her fingers run over your stomach. She remains like that even when the concierge calls you up.

        "Reservation for the Rosettis."

        The man hands her a key to a penthouse suite. You want to be surprised, but at this point, nothing she does is novel. The perks of having rich parents, you suppose. At least now, you'll live a mostly carefree life. So long as you comply, the world is hers to parcel out to you.

        Although you met long before, your life with Milan officially began during the final year of college. Right when everything began falling apart, when everyone rejected you and scorned your devotion to your craft, she took you back and pieced you together again. She helped you move out of that toxic household. She opened your eyes to how the world wronged you, and how with her, everything could be alright.

        And she was right. So long as you behave, life with her can be calm. Mostly peaceful, because no matter where you go, you'll never be able to shake the stares. Out of the corner of your eye, you spy an elderly couple, white-haired and donning matching Hawaiian shirts. They stare at Milan's hand around yours. Milan, noticing the way your grip tightens, halts to size them up. You wouldn't put her above being willing to punch anyone.

        Just when you're preparing your heart for the barrage, the old lady's words cause your shoulders to slump. Still, you do not experience relief.

        "You two are adorable," says the lady, face wrinkling as she offers a smile.

        "Thanks." Milan squeals. Nearly forcing your arm out of its socket, she lifts your conjoined hands, proudly displaying the sleek bands. "We're on our earlymoon. The wedding is this upcoming spring."

        "I love this generation, doing as they please."

        "Milan likes trends," you say, using your voice for the first time in a while. "I think her vision is really something else."

        The old man shares a knowing nod with you. Still, he speaks to Milan. "Your wife there doesn't look too happy."

        "Leave the poor girl alone." The old lady jabs him in the side. "The trip over must've been rough."

        Squeezing your hand, Milan plopped her head onto your shoulder. She breathed a shaky sigh against your skin. "I hope we get to grow old together like y'all."

        The couple offers her a final fond smile before she's tugging you along, eager to reach your room. You drag the suitcases along, hearing the wheels turn, then bumble over the lip of the elevator. The ascent is silent. Milan hums along to the bossa nova tunes. You used to like jazz, but Milan doesn't, so you don't listen to it anymore. She's the trust-fund in the relationship, thereby, the breadwinner, and as long as your bills are paid and she only demands your undivided attention once a week, you'll bend to her will.

        Your floor is sparsely populated and has a high ceiling. The halls are large and illuminated by chandeliers. Your room is the third in line. Milan takes the key and taps it against the handle. With a melodic beep, the door pops open. She presses against it with her hip, jamming her foot against the door to hold it open as you ferry the suitcases inside. Expelling the dastardly things from your hold, you flop onto the bed, feeling gooseflesh arise on your exposed skin. The sheets are cool beneath you. You move to tug your dress back down, but Milan intervenes.

        "Stay like that," she says, slapping your hands away. Her hand lingers on your knee. She delivers two resolute pats, then arises, moving to retrieve something from her bag.  "I want a picture."

        Flushing with shame, you turn to hide your face. She doesn't care, not when you're spread out so deliciously.

        The shutter clicks. Pulling away, she scrutinizes your form and frowns. Your heart staggers. Wrinkles aren't good. Milan would rather die than shrivel and prune. She must always look like the timeless portraits adorning the walls of your shared apartment, not a day older nor younger, so she cannot frown. You must fix the world and all its problem for her. You must keep it turning, maintain its precarious balance between the extreme poles on its axis. You must make her smile.

        "What's wrong?" you tentatively ask.

        "Why are you posed so awkwardly? And frowning, too. You're happy to be here with me, aren't you?" Arms crossed over her chest, Milan prattles on with conspiracies. You're only with her for the money. You never loved her. Maybe she's finally catching on, yet too stupid to realize. "Don't tell me you regret getting engaged. I'll make you pay me back for the vacation and ring if you're thinking about breaking up with me now."

        Mangling your tongue to ribbons, you whimper and look to the sky, beseeching an unyielding god. The sun is still too bright. Your bones will melt into microscopic sand particles before you'll manage a smile. You don't want to. You'd rather die.

        But for her? For her, you will become anything and everything because you must. She convinced you to stay. She showed you how she'd live without you, or rather, how she wouldn't. So won't you push it all aside—every blight and blemish—and smile only for her? It makes her feel alive.

        After a lifetime of obeying her whims, it isn't as if you can decide otherwise. Tomorrow is already promised to infinity. For her, your teeth pull back in a grimace. Like a corpse strung up by a cruel puppeteer, your arms jerk upwards. The camera flashes, and your pantomime is sealed into pixelated eternity. Your smile, that soulless, grotesque glean, will belong to her forevermore.

        "God," she groans, a light blush painting her cheeks. "You look so cute whenever you get like this. Wanna devour you so badly."

        She doesn't waste a moment. Setting her phone aside, Milan saunter over, stopping at your side. Leaning over, she slaps a hand around the back of your neck and smashes her lips against yours. Groaning at the sudden contact, your mouth parts. She takes the chance to shove her tongue down your throat. Head dropping, she plants kisses down the smooth expanse of your neck, occasionally halting to pinch the skin between her teeth. When she desires to taste more of you, you feel her lift the hem of your dress. You sit there, head thrown back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling as she prepares to take what's hers.

        It wasn't always like this. It wasn't meant to end like this, either, but at some point, you realized it had to. You had to become Milan's. You had to stay at her side because you couldn't stand otherwise. She knew you, heart, soul, body. No one else could touch you like she had. You'd never loan anyone else the sympathy, the unconditional love.

        Being sad in paradise is a travesty. You try to think of anything that makes it worthwhile. You can't feel bad forever. Maybe someday, you'll learn to reciprocate, and it'll all start to feel good.

        For now, if you throw your head back and close your eyes, pretending to enjoy it, maybe you'll convince yourself that this is right, that this—her nails digging into your thighs, prying them open as her mouth and fingers and tongue conduct their sinful ministrations—is what you've always wanted. If you enjoy it now, it won't hurt as much later. Maybe someday, if she tries hard enough, you'll be convinced to love her the way she loves you.

        Sun abounds in fire-razed lands. You await the storm to quench the burn. You await ashen, volcanic saliva to muddle the water, to taint it. Do you want this as your life? Her, as your wife? The ring clamped around your finger says you do, for now and infinity.