#but... close enough i guess?

[somerandomcockroach]

[ginpotts]

DOCTOR WHO 1.11 ✧ boom town

the gang's all here 🌌🔥

[sergle]

i’ve had this in my files for awhile already but i got reminded of this phenomenon tonight and it just. makes me laugh every time. ppl’s online portfolios be like.png

[mushrooms-and-blooms]

[puppppppppy]

act 4 :(

@chipper-smol and i came to a realization

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[spro-o]

guys please ,,, you need to understand, the patient needs Catholic-coded, religious trauma, god-complex, daddy-issues, sexual tension Chase and House content to live 💔

close ups and scene which inspired this :3 v

[stealingpotatoes]

confession one time i borrowed the a new hope novelisation from my school library and forgot to return it for so long they sent me three emails asking me to pay for it. i never did i just gave it back and ran out the door (away from the consequences).

cool did you send this to me so i could like absolve you of your sins like some kinda star wars priest?

[magellanica]

Fight at Ultima Thule.

[yurinators]

banquet (based on the mv for dance dance by lexie liu)

[ofdarklands]

Y - Ym

>song

the final of magus' familiars, even in its biggest size it is the stealthiest one. it can perfectly camouflage itself and be completely silent, and as a last resort it's scream is deadly. depending on how close you are it might downright melt you into nothing. unlike the other two, the mind that commands this body was not originally one of magus' creations, so it is both more independent and relatively gentler in its behavior, though still quite inhuman in perspective

it can usually be found in the Salvage, keeping an eye on all the things and creatures that end up there, brought by the universe's eddies. it's a bit of a folk legend for those that are awake there, at this point

as trivia, BEHOLD. basically what my setting's dragons look like, though they're actually living creatures with a proper lifecycle and fancy coloration, unlike magus' familiars. and they have only 2 arms

[sheepandpencils]

I am extremely NOT immune to toxic old man yaoi.

[bastardlybonkers]

science rulez

[tackykachowch]

Idk if I'm gonna get jumped for this but....Iiii don't know if it's really appropriate to call Vander Jinx's dad. He definitely was her guardian, with huge uncle energy for sure, but dad? Like, dad is something really personal and requires a high level of closeness, and they didn't seem to share that bond. Out of all the kids Powder seemed to be the most removed from him and share very little traits/interests with him, and after growing up we don't see Jinx care about him at all. So, idk, to call him her dad seems more like a fanservice to me rather than what can be confirmed by the show.

He's defo her dad in the au, tho, because there he would spend a lot more time with her and because of Vi's death pay more attention to her, therefore tightening their bond.

UPD: I mean, Vander isn't even a part of her hallucinations. Now, you could argue that it's too traumatic for her even to remember him as is seen in season 1 ep9, but I think it's the opposite, actually. Knowing Silco he probably yapped about Vander all the time (and he literally does this in ep5), so Jinx definitely remembers him and thinks of him to some extent. But why then his hallucination appeared only once? Well, I think it only happened because Jinx was under extreme pressure already, plus she recently had a shimmer operation, which could've worsened her mental state, hence Vander appearing as a hallucination. Again, this is just how I see it, I may be wrong, but I do think this view of their relationship is rational enough.

[inkieflame]

"Do you love me?"

A king looks to his hand, "What?"

"I said do you love me."

"..."

"..."

"Of cour-"

"Sometimes it feels like you don't." His hand says. "Sometimes it feels like you use me. I'm only here to be useful."

The King takes a long moment to think about this, "I... I assure you, I meant no offense. I care for you like any of my soldiers."

His hand is not comforted by this.

His hand does not want to be cared for like any of the King's soldiers. Not at all.

His hand wants to be loved.

But the kingdom is at war in the desert.

And love is for the peaceful.

[deerabigailhobbs]

Saw 2004 AU where Adam is Australian and Lawrence is British

(Lawrence, more britishly): "He doesn't want us to cut through our chains... He wants us to cut through our feet..."

"Hmm... yeah nahhhh, fuck that mate. Jigsaw can suck my dick, stupid cunt"