#but. idk. it’s more complicated than i’d like it to be
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Big “I’m Back, Bitch” post after my Hiatus.
Hello All!
This is kinda just intended for close moots or anyone who was worried about me or is interested in Poppi’s Personal Life Lore, just to keep you guys up to speed on how I’m doing after some time away and what to expect from me in 2025.
SO MUCH has happened in the two months I was away from Tumblr so for starters, here is a brief list of updates I have about My life/Fandoms/General shenanigans in no particular order
- The Ithaca Saga came out and it was AMAZING. I completely ignored my stockings that Xmas morning and instead just listened to it. By the time Christmas day was over I’d already listened to it about six times.
- Yes I was at the watch party along with 206,000 other people. It was truly historical.
- The Helluva Boss sinsmas special came out and almost made me cry. It’s been a while since I was posting about that show, but dw I still watch it
- I’m now on book 3 of Magnus Chase and YES YOU WERE ALL ABSOLUTELY CORRECT I LOVE ALEX SO MUCHHHHH. Expect some Alex Fierro/Fierrochase/Jack x Riptide content from me soon
- The Star Wars Disney+ shows are better than they’ve been since Mandolorian Season One.
- HAPPY 2025!!! This can’t be a real year. 2017 was still last year. No way we’re halfway through the 20s already.
- I had a BIG LIFE UPDATE that for personal reasons I can’t share online but it was BIG and also GOOD and I’m really proud of it. It was also unexpected and not the reason I took time off for. Idk why I’m including this bc I can’t really say anything about it but I need y’all to know that something good happened. It seems like when I vent about personal stuff here I only talk about the bad but good stuff does happen sometimes too.
- I got a weighted blanket for xmas. It’s so cozy and I love it.
- I have started getting into making OCs. Some for fandoms, some not.
- Penelope is now my favourite character in Epic.
- I’ve been writing this fanfic about the children of Percabeth, Solangelo, and Valgrace going on a TLT-style quest together so stay tuned to either read that or watch me give up on it and then just infodump about the plot I would’ve written if I’d had the energy
- I’m finally caught up on The Amazing Digital Circus
- I’m finally caught up on Agatha All Along (I still have the last episode to watch)- I think Joe Locke is stuck playing Sad Gay Baby-bois for the rest of his carrer now.
- Joel Smallishbeans won Wild Life and Grian is making 7hr Hermitcraft videos now.
- I performed in a play
- I have a 133-day streak on Duolingo!!
- Technically my one year Hyperfixation anniversary of Percy Jackson! I count it as the first Wednesday after Christmas as that’s when I watched the TLT musical for the first time. Because of this, whenever I doodle an SPQR tattoo on my arm when I’m bored, I will now draw two lines under it instead of one.
- Less than one month into 2025 and I can already predict that “The Challenge” is gonna be my top song of the year on Spotify
- Overall, I’ve just been trying my best to relax and take it easy, and I think I succeeded, which is good because that’s what I needed.
Now for the slightly less lighthearted stuff. I need to set a few things straight, for myself more than anything.
Firstly, I want to clarify that mentally I'm fine. I realise my leave was sudden and might’ve worried some people, and I apologise, but I am safe. You don't have to worry about my health or wellbeing.
This too will pass, and you'll get more dedicated, hyperobsessed Poppi back again once this has all blown over. Although, the aforementioned “BIG GOOD LIFE UPDATE” might complicate things.
Holidays are a stressful time for me, as I’m sure they are for you. With that on top of work and life stuff I needed to shed some mental load and unfortunately Tumblr was the first thing to go. And it will be the first thing to go again when something else stressful shows up. Adulting is hard you guys.
I've made it no secret that I've had some stressful stuff going on in my life these past few months. Yes, I am back from hiatus. Yes, I'm taking the time to rest and take care of myself. But I do not have the physical capacity to fully administrate a Tumblr blog on top of everything else right now.
So from now on, things are gonna be a little bit different around here. I won't be making posts every day and I won't be writing large fanfics or working on any complex fanarts.
I will need to take more hiatuses as things pile up.
I don’t know when exactly, but consider it a fact (unless I say otherwise) that this will happen again.
I know a lot of you will be understanding but I want to set these rules for myself so I don't feel any pressure from my brain to provide for you all. As I'm sure most of you will relate, I have a kinda all-or-nothing attitude to my interests, and as of this point in my life I can't afford to give my all to my blog. So expect a lot less from me these next few months.
Also, still nothing on the Autism Assessment Application stuff, in case anyone was wondering about that. This is the reality of living under the NHS. But by talking to people I’ve still been able to get the help and support that I need regardless of a diagnosis. And I also have a bunch of fidget toys now!!
Anyhoo, sorry for the ramble. I neither assume nor expect everyone will bother reading this so thank you for taking the time if you did. I wanted to put all of this in one post so I don’t need to keep talking about this and boring y’all with personal details in case you’re not interested. On with the fun fandom fiascos!!
I thank you all for your patience and being so kind and considerate while I needed some rest. I could not hope for a more awesome corner of the internet to exist on. Love you all. Stay safe. I’ll see you soon!
— Poppi <3
@lavenderfairiez @ginnyluna @groverapologist @echo-stimmingrose @demigod-shenanigans @keefessketchbook @sleepyycapybara @123letsgobestie @fairytalesociology @four-leafed-queer-gal @child-of-helios @puzzled-pegasus @ollieisanerd @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @frayna-of-the-hollow @via-rant @hadeslegacyhephgirl @pjowasmy1stfandom @thetourturedwritersclub @m-for-now @inky-void @deciduowl
#Poppi overshares!#personal rant#personal stuff#i love my moots#tumblr moots#moots#moots <3#percy jackson#pjo#epic the musical
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guy who rotates ‘i wish i was a girl’ around in his head like a freak for hours
#going to rip my hair out#i just want to be. like. a lesbian . in so many different ways#it changes so much and so often and it’s honestly so upsetting sometimes i Really just wish i could look. however i wanted on a whim#not even in a weird insecure way. entirely in a gender presentation way#i think growing up fat warped my self-image so bad to be honest and i really don’t talk about it ever#i feel like i could only be perceived as ‘girl’ if i were. thinner?#or at least in any way i’d be comfortable with?#which sounds so bad. im so aware#but like i never really got to properly experience girlhood i think . ever#like i was 5’3 and 220 in middle school and wore exclusively XXL hoodies and skinny jeans#i Really just did not ever feel sufficiently girl enough#i look around meekly. I don’t know#i mean no matter what im straight up not a girl LMAO at least not like 99% of the time#they boy#but. idk. it’s more complicated than i’d like it to be#delete later probably body talk makes me cringe
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For the first time since I can remember I did not hate every second around my family and… not only that actually…. Kinda enjoyed myself? Idk, just got home and I’m real tired but I think that’s just cuz I was up early and busy and then had the drive home. Christmas stuff and all that. My mom did…? Get me a pair of shoes that were lesbian colors…. I can’t tell if that was some insane coincidence and she didn’t know or her trying to say/do something all things considered. Apparently my siblings kept telling her I wouldn’t like them when she picked them out (which is fair I wear almost exclusively all black and mostly boots over tennis shoes) but she insisted so…. Mmm…. On the one hand I wish she would just like… say something? But if it was some weird way of being supportive I guess it was kinda sweet? Idk. I might be reading into it and it was just a coincidence
They also all insisted on helping me move in February which kinda has me like ???? Because I’ve moved four times since I’ve moved out and they have never once done a THING to help even when I lived much closer but I’ll take it cuz that means I won’t have to rent a truck cuz they’ll bring theirs and I won’t have to hire ppl to move the big furniture so that’s a lot of money I’ll be saving
They're also giving me one of the beds and mattresses from my great grandma's house since they've been clearing it out after she died a few months ago because when they asked what all I would I have to move and didn't say a bed and then explained my bed is a 20+yo mattress laid directly on the floor they were like :/ which obvi I know wasn't ideal I just couldn't afford to get a new one but now I won't have to. Obviously it's used but it's still only a year or so old they said, and I don't think I've EVER had a mattress that wasn't at least 15 years old so that'll be nice. I hope it helps some of my back issues...
Anyways, idk what fucking happened to these people in the span of a couple months but it kinda feels unreal
#they also got me some manga which…..#some of it was manga I wanted!!!#however one of the series I told her I wanted was blue exorcist and. well.#I guess she forgot the second half of the title because she got me volumes of some manga that was blue something#I don’t even remember I’d never heard of it before and when I read the summary it’s some slice of life romance#so now I have random volumes of the middle of that series that I have to figure out something to do with……#cant say I really wanna read it lol#didn’t bother to tell her it was the wrong series cuz tbh that was way more effort than she’s ever put into my actual interests#so I’ll take it ig#ugh this is so weird#it’s like. I can tell she’s trying to do better after we had that conversation last month#which yeah in some ways is nice obviously but really I just feel complicated#cuz it doesn’t fix everything else even if she gets better now#and also it was easier to just accept she fucking sucked and hate her#I think I still kinda hate her but…. ugh like I said idk it’s complicated#anyways my siblings also made me play Fortnite with them which I’d never played that#it was okay I guess#met my grandparents new puppy they’re obsessed with#(they’re both convinced they hate pets and ended up with him cuz my uncle got it for his daughter except both of them are bad a taking care#of things so he ended up with my grandparents)#but they’re so clearly obsessed with this fucking dog oh my god like it’s insane#they’re both the epitome of that joke about the dad not wanting the cat but then absolutely loving the cat#kaz rambles
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sometimes i forget that people on here don’t know i’m visually impaired/legally blind, or that that’s even a thing with people with albinism (i’m actually like…blind. not in the “oh haha i’m like a bat, i can’t see the board!”, it’s the “i’m never going to be able to get a drivers license unless it’s extremely, extremely limited to daytime and two lane highways only, needs an iep, can’t read less than size 24 font without squinting, reads braille because my eyes get tired, can’t see snow/rainfall, can’t see 3d, can barely see my keyboard” kind of way) so when i try to make a blind joke it doesn’t hit as hard as it does if you know me irl. sigh.
#misc#maybe it’s my sign to stop making an ass out of myself#whatever i don’t believe in signs#i do know braille tho#like it’s not the quirky “lol so blind” thing#i genuinely cannot see#idk how to explain my vision either since i don’t have normal people vision#so it’s hard to compare to smth you’re not accustomed to#i dunno this is a ramble#ok the driving thing is complicated#technically…i can kinda sorta drive#if i wear my contracts AND glasses AND and extra set of glasses with a bionic in it#and i’d have to go through tests to see if even that works—and even then i have to go in front of a driving judge to see if they approve it#and if it got approved then i’d still have to go to “special” drivers ed#and at the end of all of that my license would be limited to daytime and no more than two lane highways#BUT i can’t even try that because if all went according to plan i’d lose my services and iep#so i’d have to wait til after college#which given all of that…it’s not worth it#sure i feel like an idiot riding the bus in my junior year and needing to be picked up from clubs (and i’ll feel worse my senior year)#but i guess its better than getting my services repealed#this turned into a rant#…oops#i’m really insecure abt not being able to drive mb lol#i mean get at least i’ll never have to be designated driver—and the school can’t take my nonexistent license for “low grades”#ignore the tags this is a ramble abt my personal insecurities-—i’ve never ranted abt the visual side effects of albinism 😭#alaska’s irl bullshit
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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it’s really weird being trans and going to the doctor when you don’t plan on transitioning medically
#marzi speaks#i have no interest in t or top surgery atm so for convenience my doctors know me as a woman#which like. that isn’t. incorrect. but it’s not all of me#idk. i’m someone who typically just despises being closeted#i’m privileged to be able to not be closeted in my daily life but like. i just hate hiding myself yanno#but if i mark myself down as ‘other’ on those forms then everything just gets so much more complicated#plus even if i say i’m comfortable with all pronouns i’ll likely still just be she/her-ed. maybe she/they-ed if i’m lucky#so like. there’s no point in complicating things for myself like that#but it’s weird. i’m not staying closeted because i’m afraid of my doctors not caring for me#(although i do worry about systematic biases)#but instead because it’s just. easier. and doesn’t that kind of suck#being fully myself in a medical setting is inconvenient. it gets in the way#because the medical system isn’t built to accomodate me. so i fold away those parts of me to make it easier#idk. it’s kinda fucked but it mostly just makes me feel weird. i feel like i’m lying when i tell them i’m female but it’s my easiest option#plus i’d hate to be asked if i’ve transitioned medically at all and have ‘biologically female’ written on my chart when i say no#i’d rather just see an F on the gender marker than be told my body is that of a woman’s
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny#and primarily attracted to women in general#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear#reena.txt
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Sent my annual valentines text out, and I want to send it to some of my guy friends too, but one of them is a guy friend that I had that little moment with last year and I don’t want to overstep a boundary or anything. I want to be as authentic as possible with how I feel and the people around me, but also like, I feel like they already know. Not sure how to proceed, what do you think, imaginary audience?
#meganmakesapost#cw#and then there’s other male friends that I have that I’d love to say the same thing to#but I don’t know if it would be weird or if they’d take it to mean more than that?#like I just love the people around me right now and it’s that simple and it shouldn’t need to be more complicated than that#and I don’t know if saying it or not saying it is making it more complicated?#idk lmk what ya’ll think#In the mean time I need to finish getting my hair done and then pack for Taylor swift
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my energy is looking at people who simp a lil to hard for certain characters and being like
"…….why?…."
like I get people get crushes especially at young ages but like……..they look like a kid or are genuinely not that good looking
like I just can’t see the appeal
#I never understand people who look at kid characters and be like#they fiiiiiine😩#like no not really#then again I never understood most crushes people had on chracters#like yes they’re hot or cute#but I woudnt wanna date them#like yes I see this character and I think they’re SUPER HOT and I would worship the ground they walk on cause they deserve that#but I’d never want to kiss em or date them or anything like that#like to me that’s just weird#which is why I don’t get fangirls either#idk crushes confuse me#like I get looking at someone and thinking damn they’re pretty but wanting to be with them!?#that’s just so wild to me#but idk it might be way more complicated than that#if so tell me I wanna know what a crush really is#my stuffy stuff#my weird brain
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OKAY OKAY idk if you still do Eddie Munson if not it's fine but I just ended a situationship/fwb with a rude white boy, I lowk wanna see a fanfic. where Eddie has this relationship with reader, then he flirts with someone else and takes them to bed, and reader is just heartbroken,and gets revenge
toxic!eddie munson x female!reader
summary: you think I’d let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? no fucking way. he doesn’t get to win.
warnings: smut! 18+, cursing, very much angst, arguing, mature content, etc..
a/n: wow, you actually got me out of hibernation with this one. i haven't wrote eddie in a long time so bear with me but since fuckboys very much PISS ME OFF, i had to do you a solid and i hope you enjoy! as always, apologize if you hate this.
Your relationship with Eddie was not something that you could explain in a few short words. Of course, it was complex, complicated, difficult, angering, loving, warm.... But again, not something you could name with a few short words.
It had been about three months ago when you caught Eddie staring at your ass while you were playing dodgeball and he was sitting at the bleachers.
He had that sly smile on and his back leaning on one of the levels on the bleachers, staring at you intently. Not only was it enough to catch your attention but enough for you to keep looking.
All it took was a wink and a few whispers in the locker room for you to be hooked. But after, Eddie had made it clear with you that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship.
Eddie kissed your neck while his grip on your neck was harsh, "Listen baby, I want this so fucking bad but I'm not ready for somethin' serious," He whispered but the trance you were in only had you saying,
"Uh-huh,"
And since then, you had been stuck in a friends with benefits situation with Eddie Munson.
It wasn't the worse thing in the world but sometimes, it never felt the best. I mean, it wasn't like Eddie was an asshole who didn't care about you after you fucked or did anything. He would always cuddle you or clean you up when you felt tired.
He would always let you vent to him, give you kisses, and make you laugh. Those were the times when you felt like you could be more with him.
And then there would be times where he talked about Stacey Callahan's ass with a sly smile and glint in his eye, almost making you want to stab him.
You would shoot daggers into him but he would never notice because he considered you a friend.
And you could never tell him your real feelings because then you guys would be nothing and that seemed like a worse fate.
But at least, he never made an actual pass at girls in front of you and from what he had told you, he hasn't fucked anyone since you and him had started.
And that made you feel like you could be more.
But you were afraid you spoke too soon when you were trying to find Eddie and saw him and Caroline Blaren making out under the bleachers.
His hand groping her ass and her moans echoing throughout the gym. If it wasn't for the fact that it was after school, almost half the school population would've been cursed with this sight.
His mouth leaving hot kisses on her neck as he did with you a multitude of times, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she giggled.
For the first time in your life, you had felt as if your heart had shattered.
A part of you wanted to make a scene, maybe go batshit crazy and curse Eddie to the brink of eternity and then the other part of you wanted to walk away, realize that you were worth more than someone who you thought cared for your feelings or for you at all.
Before you could leave the gym and maybe cry in a corner, Eddie locks eyes with you and smiles before he excuses himself and tells Caroline to wait under the bleachers.
She scoffs a little bit but twirls her hair as she stands there, mugging you.
You still have a shocked expression as Eddie approaches you, grinning ear to ear,
"I know I said we were gonna meet today but," He shyly cheers, "I've been trying to bag this for months and I really need this, Y/N, we can meet tomorrow though," He says as if this was casual.
You blinked at him as he awkwardly laughed at your expression, "Earth to Y/N?" He waved his hand in your face as you closed your mouth and swallowed.
You did your best to form a smile, "Uh- yeah sure,"
He cheered, kissing you on the cheek, "You're the best, I owe you one," He winked at you before going back to Caroline.
He put his arm around her shoulder before exiting the other way of the gym.
You couldn't believe that you let Eddie Munson break your heart.
There were multiple thoughts entering your head the sight of this.
One was that you were a complete idiot and let Eddie Munson play you like a fiddle. The second was that he had never taken you seriously. The third was that you needed to make him feel as you did.
And maybe it was petty for you to feel like you needed revenge but you couldn't let Eddie get away with making multiple girls feel this way,
Harmless to him but cruel to you.
And now you had to make him pay which you knew wasn't going to be easy.
Making Eddie Munson jealous was one of those things that was damn near impossible. He always prided himself in being as 'chill as a cucumber, when it came to his love life.
You had never seen him get jealous once and you didn't even think it was a feeling to him.
But you did know Eddie hated being ignored.
You remembered when he jokingly called your ass flat and you ignored him for an hour before he looked like he was on the brink of tears.
That was the one sore sport of his that you knew of and it certainly wouldn't hurt to use it to your advantage.
So when Eddie had called you that very night, you answered but not with the same eagerness you always had,
"Hello?" You answered, holding the telephone up to your ear.
"Hey Y/N," You heard Eddie's voice on the other side of line, voice excited.
You swallowed before answering back flatly, "Hi,"
He sounded surprised at your tone but didn't mention it, "Jus' wondering if you wanted to come over, Caroline just left,"
Your blood felt like it was boiling. It was as if he wanted a snack to go with his meal which only pissed you off more and it had been six hours, he had been fucking Caroline for six hours.
"I can't," You said, concealing your anger.
He sounded astonished, "Uh, why not?"
"Busy," You replied, annoyed.
You could feel your vagueness starting to worry him, "Busy with what?" He said snarkily.
"Stuff," You scoffed.
When did Eddie care so much about what you were doing? Maybe once he realized you wouldn't be at his beck and call any longer.
He took a breath, "What about tomorrow?" He asked, hoping your answer would be different.
"I'm busy, Eddie," You snapped.
There was silence on the other line for a few seconds that felt like decades before he replied again, "Is something wrong?" He asked, the worry present in his voice.
"No, I really can't talk right now, I'll see you later," You said quickly, putting the phone back on the link before he could answer.
You sighed, trying your best to feel as if this was the best decision. Of course, you knew ignoring Eddie wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world but you didn't expect it to be the hardest either.
Once Eddie gets fixated, there's not really a way to get him off the case.
And that turned out to be a fact when you saw him at school the next morning,
"Y/N," Someone grabbed your arm, pulling you in the custodian closet.
You made a surprised sound before realizing it was Eddie, "Jesus, I thought you were a murderer," You said, releasing your arm from his grip.
He ignored your joke, locking his eyes into your eyes, "What's up with you?" He asked.
You gulped, "I don't know what you're talking about,"
He scoffed, "You fucking dodged me on the phone,"
You rolled your eyes, "I told you I was busy,"
"You've literally let me eat you out before you had an huge exam in the next hour so that's a load of crap," He replied as you gawked, "So tell me what's actually up,"
You moved your jaw to the side, looking away as Eddie fumed in front of you.
You were lost for words but this didn't stop Eddie from waiting for answer so you gave one,
"I'm done fucking you,"
Eddie looked shocked, lost for words, he almost seemed as if he was having a stroke. He snapped out of his trance by laughing, "Are you serious?"
Your demeanor didn't change, "Deadly."
He bit his lip, almost wanting to laugh because this had to be a joke, "Baby, thats a big decision," His chest was against yours at this point, "Are you sure about this?" He asked, his breath whispering against your ear.
You could feel yourself breathing harder and a bit turned on but you knew this cycle wouldn't end if you didn't stop it. You pushed against his chest as he stepped backwards, "I'm done Eddie." You stated, walking out of the closet and leaving him in there.
You took a deep breath before walking to your class, it was hard to believe that you had just rejected Eddie and that he didn't utterly make you regret it.
You sat in class as you watched Eddie come on minutes after, always arriving after the bell. You could feel the tension radiating off you both but he didn't care to take a glimpse of you, his hard expression already telling enough.
You eyed him as he sat down next to you, a shocked expression on your face. Eddie had never sat down next to you in classes or let alone even show up.
You could already tell he was about to start fucking with you.
As Ms. Rodriguez started her lesson, you started to feel a fingertip tracing your knee as you swallowed. You looked at Eddie but he kept his hard expression, not even a smirk forming.
You watched him as his finger rose higher, almost at the hem of your skirt.
There was something in you that wanted to let him, maybe get your last taste Eddie before it was over forever but if you did this, it would never be over.
You knew this was Eddie trying to win and you couldn't let him.
In a flash, you grabbed his hand which caused him to finally look at you and you slammed it into his own lap. He looked furious and you felt a small victory as he pushed out his chair and stormed out while Ms. Rodriguez yelled for him to come back.
—————
The bell rang as you went towards the cafeteria, going to sit with the mutual friends you shared with Eddie.
Ever since you and Eddie had started hooking up, he had introduced you to his friends and you didn't actually mind sitting with them. They would always banter in front of you which always made you giggle and it was never superficial with them.
Usually, you would've sat next to Eddie but since shit hit the fan, you took a seat next to Gareth.
You saw Eddie shooting daggers into your soul but you kept your composure and ignored him.
You could hear them arguing over something about D&D which only made you laugh before Gareth noticed you, "Hey Y/N!" He beamed as you smiled.
"Hey Gareth, what are you guys talking about?" You asked, looking at him.
Gareth grinned, ready to start his tangent, "Oh so basically, we were talking about if Paladin or the Monk had more of a power bu-"
Eddie cut him off, "What are you doing?" He asked, looking at you as the table went silent.
You steamed, "What are you talking about?"
He began his theatrics, "I mean did I say you could sit here?" The whole table looked between you and him, there had never been one argument between you and Eddie, let alone one in front of them.
You sneered, "Why would I not be allowed to sit here?" You asked, wanting to kill Eddie for doing this in front of everyone.
"Well because, you don't belong here," He said, nonchalantly.
You laughed, "I don't belong here?" Your eyes were locked onto his, anger present in them.
"Yeah," He smirked which only made your blood boil.
"So since I'm sucking your dick anymore, I can't sit here?" You questioned, causing the entire table to gasp.
You weren't planning to reveal that you and Eddie had fucked several times but since he was really trying to get under you, there was no other choice.
"You can't sit here because nobody wants you here, Princess," He said, hatefully.
You looked at everyone around the table but they kept their gazes low, not wanting to go against Eddie.
Eddie was expecting pure anger to come out of you or maybe you would have to reconcile with him and you guys could go back to how you were but instead, you had gotten up and a smile was present on your face.
"I think I'm actually gonna sit with Jason," You slyly said as Eddie felt enraged, "I think that's a dick I actually would like to suck," You grabbed your tray heading over to jock table.
It wasn't exactly the best plan considering you hated Jason but Jason had been trying to get under you for years and this was the only way to get under Eddie's skin.
Your skirt rose up as you blinked dumbly at Jason sitting next to him, "Hi Jason," You sweetly said as he grinned from ear to ear.
"Y/N, what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, him eyeing your body.
"I was wondering if you could teach me a few things about basketball at yours, I've got a research project," You said, fingers grazing his thigh.
It was not your best effort at being seductive but it was enough to get Jason Carver.
"I think I could help with that, mine at seven?" He said as you nodded.
You turned your back to see Eddie staring at you, more mad than you had ever seen him.
He was jealous.
And this was only the beginning.
#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fic#stranger things fic#stranger things smut#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x y/n#eddie x reader#eddie munson angst#toxic relationship#stranger things#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson stranger things#singmyaubade
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Ok I’ve never seen anyone with the same pazzi timeline as me so here it is lol also this is long asf and very detailed (yes I’m bored)
I think Paige prob had a crush on Azzi first, especially with her being a little bit older she might have already known she liked girls before meeting Azzi. I think Paige was probably azzi’s “gay awakening” if you will lol. But I think Paige might have even seen Azzi/thought she was cute before they officially met given how interconnected the basketball world is plus there was something on here about them having an overlap in Atlanta I think about a year before they officially met. But I think they became more than friends sooner than most people seem to think. I think they became more than friends (talking/fwb/situationship) whatever you want to call it, like almost immediately after meeting. Paige seemed to really be glued to Azzi during team USA era. So I think they became “more than just friends” in like 2017/early 2018. But especially being so young (Azzi would have been like 14/15 and Paige 15/16) and being long distance, and basketball being your #1 priority, AND coming to terms with your sexuality so young and with another person can make things complicated. But I believe they were only talking to/seeing each other all throughout high school. If someone tries to mention vinnie hacker to me, my answer is I just think Paige was trolling tbh 😭. But she obviously wasn’t out to the public yet in hs, and still isn’t technically but I mean it’s obvious lol, bc of her saying a guy as her celebrity crush in an interview I think her senior year. But I mean most of her family and close friends prob knew ab her and Azzi in hs given how close p & a were and how often they saw each other, while living states away. But yeah I’d say around 2020ish it became more serious, especially quarantining together they kinda got to play gfs/house together. I’m not quite sure if they were officially gfs at this time or just non official gfs, but I mean I’ve never named someone I’m just talking to or just fwb with as “💗” or called them my other half if we weren’t dating so… I think even when Paige first got to college they were just seeing each other bc of Azzi commenting how she missed Paige or something on tik tok and how she wanted to see her. Plus with Paige recruiting Azzi so hard I don’t think she would do that if they had “broken up” lol. But I guess sometime Paige’s freshman year she might have talked to other people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened or if it didn’t happen tbh. I’ve never seen solid proof of her talking with anyone else and I feel like if someone was talking to someone so famous we would all know about it lol. What I’m trying to say is she might have talked to other ppl but wasn’t really in a “talking stage”/in a relationship with anyone else ever. Also they both pretty much liked all of each others Instagram pics through hs and college so I don’t think they ever had a big fight/argument/falling out/breakup or whatever you want to call it. But yeah from my personal experience being so young and seeing a girl can kinda be confusing as to how that dynamic works (ex: who asks who out? How does it become official? Should we even tell anyone?) so it was probably just a kinda known thing that they were together in hs/early college years without the official label. But they both might have seen/talked to other people in like 2020/2021 but I don’t think they ever stopped seeing each other. Also I honestly would not be surprised if either of them have never really talked to/seen other people either so idk. But I think around mid 2022 (so like Azzi going into her sophomore year and Paige her junior year) they became officially girlfriends. This being because of how they interacted/posted with each other. Like the pic in Paige’s photo dump on tik tok of the old man with the flowers and her saying “how I’m trynna be” was crazy lol. So yeah and obviously the longer they date the more serious and obvious it’s going to be for the public and this summer idk if they had a conversation about being more open or if it just happened naturally that way but it’s quite obvious that they are together and have been for awhile.
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The Long Road (Stanford Pines x Reader)
Chapter 3
WOOP WOOP CHAPTER 3 IS HERE AND BOY IS IT JUICY🫣 On a serious note though, we are finally getting into some of the exciting bits of the story!! I’m hoping by the next chapter we will finally be back in the present. No more sad flashbacks!! Also y’all writing Lizzy is genuinely my favorite. If this fic wasn’t about Ford I’d be wifing her up instead😔 Anyways- here’s chapter 3 you lovely souls!
Themes: Consumption of alcohol (reader lowkey gets wasted), major hangover, bill himself is a warning, suggestiveness kind of?? idk, heartache, lizzy is overall an amazing friend, alllll the angst and feelings, injuries, etc okay enjoy!
The drive to Lizzy’s place is quiet, the steady hum of the car engine and the sound of raindrops against the windshield the only background noise. You sit in the passenger seat, watching the trees pass by through the window as you fiddle with the wedding band around your finger. Lizzy glances at you occasionally, a small frown on her face as she senses your mood. She remains silent for most of the ride, giving you space to process your emotions if need be.
It's not long before the car rolls to a stop in front of her apartment building. You reach around to gather your belongings from the backseat and step out into the rainy afternoon. Lizzy follows suit, bright pink umbrella in hand as she leads you towards the entrance.
Once inside the building, she unlocks the door to her apartment building and the two of you usher inside. The soft yellow light of the living room envelopes you, creating a cozy atmosphere in stark contrast to the gloominess outside.
Lizzy begins to kick off her shoes, hanging her keys as she silently studies your face. She can see the turmoil in your eyes, and the uncertainty you’re trying to hide.
“So,” she says gently, breaking the silence. “You okay?”
Your eyes snap out of the daze they were in as you look over at Lizzy, giving her a weak smile.
“Oh, yeah I guess. Things went a lot better than I thought they would.”
Her expression relaxes at your response, a hint of relief showing on her face.
“That’s good,” she says as she walks over to the couch and plops down on it, gesturing for you to do the same. “I was half-expecting a tearful scene or something, honestly.”
You manage a light chuckle at her remark, plopping down on the couch next to her. You pull your knees to your chest as you grab a blanket draped across the back of it, wrapping it around you.
“Yeah,” you say softly. “Ford took it pretty well, actually. Better than I expected.”
Lizzy raises a brow as she leans against the back cushions, her arms crossing. “Girl, he better take it well after what he said to you. If it had been me, I would’ve dropped his ass on the spot.”
You can’t help but let out a small snort of laughter at her words, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of your lips for the first time in a while. It’s a relief to have Lizzy’s no-nonsense attitude around, her bluntness serving as a much-needed dose of honesty.
“Yeah, yeah Liz, I know.” you admit, the smile still lingering on your face. “I was a little tempted.”
Lizzy grins, satisfied with your response as she reaches over and pats your knee supportively.
“As you should,” she says with a nod. “You don’t deserve treatment like that of any kind, no matter how important his research is to him.”
You frown slightly at her words, opting to pick at the blanket below as a distraction.
“Yeah..”
Lizzy watches your expression carefully, sensing your discomfort. She tilts her head slightly, her gaze searching your face.
“But you don’t quite agree, do you?” she probes gently.
You let out a sigh, unsure how to articulate your feelings as you continue to fiddle with the fabric of the blanket.
“It’s just… complicated Liz,” you say, your voice tinged with guilt and frustration. “Yes, I’m hurt and angry with him, but I also understand where he’s coming from. We’ve been together almost our whole lives, and this is all he has ever worked towards. His research is important to him, and he’s under a lot of pressure.”
Lizzy nods slowly as she listens to your words, her expression a mix of understanding and concern. She reaches over and places a hand on top of yours, stopping your nervous fidgeting.
“I get that Y/N, I do,” she says quietly. “And I’m not saying he’s completely in the wrong. But you shouldn’t have to feel like an afterthought in his life either. That’s not fair to you.”
Your eyes brim with tears at her response, your hand twisting and taking hers tightly.
“I know,” you say, your voice threatening to break. “I just wish we could fix things..”
Lizzy squeezes your hand as your tear-filled eyes meet hers.
“And you will, Y/N. It’ll just take some time.”
A small, wobbly smile forms on your lips at her reassurance, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. The hope that you might be able to fix things with Ford, to find a way to bridge the gap that’s widened between you both, is a small but significant comfort.
“Thank you, Liz,” you murmur, your voice still shaky. “I really hope you’re right.”
Lizzy stands with a smile, her hand pulling away from yours and resting on your shoulder.
“I know I’m right chick, because you two love each other. I’ve seen it.”
Your heart warms at her confidence, a soft smile forming on your lips as you nod.
“Now, how about some pizza?”
The few weeks you spend with Lizzy fly by, days passing in a blur of movies, late-night conversations, and plenty of chocolate induced comfort eating. As the final night of your stay approaches, Lizzy turns to you with a sly grin on her face.
“Y/N, I know you’ve been pretty reclusive the past couple of weeks, but it’s your last night here and I refuse to let you spend it watching crappy movies in my living room.”
She places her hands on her hips and gives you a stern look.
“We’re going out for drinks and that’s final.”
You mope as you walk into her view from the bathroom, your voice annoyed and pleading as you speak.
“Liz, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m a married woman, and this dress feels less than... modest.”
Lizzy rolls her eyes, her expression clearly unconvinced.
“Girl, you’re not here to pick up someone, you’re here to have fun. And as for the dress I picked out for you, it looks fantastic. Stop overthinking it.”
She gives you a onceover, inspecting your outfit.
“Besides, I’d like to see anyone who tries hitting on you tonight.”
You pout as you watch her, pulling down your dress so it covers your knees.
“I don’t know how Ford would feel about this..”
Lizzy scoffs, shaking her head.
“Ford’s not here, and we both know he should be the last person you’re trying to impress right now. You’re still young, and attractive Y/N, you deserve to enjoy yourself for one night without him on your mind. Not to mention you’ve got to live your life without kids while you can. I know the two of you have talked about it. ”
She grabs the hem of your dress and tugs it back up, flashing you a defiant look.
“And if he has a problem with you having fun, he can talk to me.”
You sigh as you give in, knowing Lizzy wouldn’t be changing her mind about your all’s plans for the night.
“Fine, fine. But we’re not staying out too late, okay?”
Lizzy grins, victorious.
“That’s more like it! And don’t worry, I promise we won’t be out until dawn,” she assures you. “Just a few drinks, maybe a little dancing, and then we’ll come back here. You trust me, right?”
“More than anything Liz.”
And that’s how you find yourself at the bar now, one too many drinks in and slumped against Lizzy’s shoulder.
She laughs at your state, her own cheeks flushed from drinking. She slings an arm around your shoulders, keeping you upright and steady in the booth the two of you occupied.
“Goodness chick, are you already trashed? We’ve barely been here an hour!” she teases, her voice lighthearted and amused.
You grumble something in response, your head spinning from the alcohol in your system. You take another sip from your glass, your tongue loose and inhibitions lowered.
“I blame you,” you slur, pointing an accusatory finger at Lizzy. “You’re a bad influence.”
Lizzy laughs loudly at your accusation, her eyes sparkling. “No one forced you to down those shots, Y/N,” she says, sliding out of the booth with ease. “I’m going to get you some water, alright? You stay right here in your seat.”
You nod lazily at her words, the idea of staying where you are very appealing. You watch groggily as she strides away, her bell bottoms and flare top in tow. She weaves through the crowd to make her way to the counter, your eyes becoming heavy.
Just as you’re starting to doze off from the alcohol, a presence suddenly sits down in the booth across from you. You blink in surprise, your vision clearing slightly as you focus on the newcomer.
Your eyes widen as you recognize your husband’s face, his features strangely serious and intense as he stares back at you. But there’s something off about him… Something otherworldly in his gaze that sends a chill down your spine.
“Well, well,” he says, his voice cool and calculated. “If it isn’t dear Y/N. You look a little worse for wear.”
Your vision blurs as you grip the side of the table, your words slurred as you speak.
“F.. Ford?”
Ford smiles widely, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. The expression is slightly unfamiliar, different from the familiar warmth you’re used to. He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table.
“In the flesh, honey,” he drawls, his voice smooth and flirtatious.
“But I see you’ve had quite a few drinks already. Feeling a little dazed? I wonder how Sixer would feel about me seeing you in this state and not him. Hilarious!”
Your arm trembles weakly as you hold yourself up, vision blurring in and out as you sway slightly in your seat.
“Wha.. What? Why are you.. here..?”
His lips curl into a smug smirk as he eyes your disheveled form, eyes lingering on your exposed skin, clearly enjoying your confusion and intoxication.
“Oh, I had a little chat with Fordsy earlier. He agreed to let me take the reins for a few hours…”
He gives a careless shrug. “You know how he is. All work and no play. Figured I’d take advantage of the situation, hell, I even got him a new tattoo!”
You sit there, dumbfounded and wavering in and out of consciousness as your mind tried to process what Ford was talking about.
Ford’s – or rather, Bill’s – eyes rake over you again, giving an exaggerated sigh before his lips turned into a sly grin.
“You really are a sight for sore eyes, I can see why Sixer married you.”
Your thoughts are still spinning from the alcohol, making it hard to focus on the conversation. You struggle to keep yourself upright, your body feeling heavy and numb.
Bill notices your dazed state, chuckling as he gives a mockingly sympathetic tone.
“You look a little out of it, darling. You really shouldn’t have had so much to drink. Especially considering how easy it’d be to trick you into a deal right now.”
Your mind races with confusion as you stand up weakly, your gut telling you something wasn’t right as you sway back and forth, (Or maybe it was the alcohol) your vision blurring as you scan the place in search of Lizzy.
“Going somewhere? Those human legs of yours don’t look very stable!”
You wobble forward, ignoring his protests as you keep moving.
“You really should listen to me if you want to avoid that nasty bruise tomorrow!”
He calls out, and before you know it you trip, and everything goes black.
Hours later… aka early morning.
You slowly open your eyes, your head pounding and your memories fuzzy. You realize you’re lying on a couch in Lizzy’s apartment, a cool cloth pressed over what you assume to be a large tender bruise on your forehead.
Lizzy is sitting perched on the edge of the coffee table in front of you, her expression a mix of worry and frustration. She notices your eyes flutter open and lets out a relieved sigh.
“Oh thank god,” she mutters. “You had me worried for a second there. I stayed up with you all night waiting for you to wake up.”
“Liz?” you mumble, head pounding. “What the hell happened? My head is killing me..”
Her expression softens at your groggy murmur, her hand reaching out instinctively to brush the hair away from your face.
“Hey, take it easy,” she says, voice low and soothing. “You took a pretty nasty fall back at the bar. Hit your head on a table on the way down.”
Your eyes widen as your memory jogs itself.
“What..? Wait, Ford.. Ford was there?”
Lizzy freezes, her expression guarded at the mention of Ford. She averts her gaze, focusing her attention on the cloth that she’s holding against your forehead.
“Uh, yeah,” she says, her voice hesitant. “He showed up towards the end of the night when I went to grab you a water… You don’t remember?”
You think to yourself for a moment, your memory patchy and vague.
“I mean, I kind of do. But it was weird? Did something happen?”
Lizzy is silent, her gaze still firmly averted from yours. She adjusts the cloth, pressing it against your head with a little more pressure than necessary.
“Nothing happened,” she finally says, her voice tight. “You just had a little too much to drink and tripped, that’s all.”
Her words are curt and dismissive, clearly trying to downplay the situation. But there’s something in her expression, a flicker of unease that betrays her true emotions.
She glances at you briefly, her eyes meeting yours for a split second before moving back to your injury.
“Lizzy..?” you say, silently pleading with her to tell you the full truth.
She exhales slowly, her shoulders slumping in resignation. She knows you’re not going to let this go, and she owes you the truth.
“Alright, fine,” she mutters avoiding your gaze. “When I got back to the booth, it was exactly when you had fell..”
You listen closely, sitting yourself up slightly.
“I had noticed Ford when I got there, sure, but when I went to go help you..”
Lizzy pauses, a frown forming on her face as she continues.
“Ford laughed,” she says as her eyes meet yours, full of concern and.. fear? “And not in a lighthearted way, in a cruel mocking way Y/N..”
Lizzy lowers the cloth from your head, placing it in her lap as you sit there, dumbfounded.
“He was just… enjoying the view, I guess,” She mutters bitterly. “Like you were some kind of joke, I don’t know Y/N. It was fucking weird, really fucking weird. I didn’t like it. He laughed as if he was the one who had done it.”
Lizzy trails off, brows furrowed as she clenches her fists. While you, on the other hand, are utterly speechless.
Your mind reels with this new information, struggling to reconcile the image of Ford – laughing coldly and mockingly at your predicament - with the caring, affectionate husband you’ve known him to be your whole life.
“I… I don’t understand,” you stutter, your voice small and confused.
“He wouldn’t… he wouldn’t do that. Not Ford.”
But as you say those words, you can’t help but recall the other strange things that had happened earlier that night. Ford’s detached demeanor, his unfamiliar choice of words, the way he seemed so cold and calculating. Your heart clenches in your chest at the thought, leaving a sour taste in your mouth. Had something happened over the few weeks you’ve been gone? Did Ford get too deep in his research? Something wasn’t right.
As you try to make sense of the situation, Lizzy watches you with a mix of compassion and concern. She knows this is incredibly tough for you to hear, but she also seems to have her own worries about the situation.
“I don’t know Y/N,” she says quietly, her hands twisting in her lap. “It was just… so not him. I don’t know what the hell happened. But I’ve never seen him act like that before. It’s like he was a different person.”
Her voice trails off, leaving the two of you in silence as you’re both lost in thought.
Eventually, Lizzy breaks the silence, her voice sympathetic as she places a hand on top of yours.
“How about this, you rest up today, and when you’re ready, I’ll take you to the cabin to get some answers from Ford? Only if you feel comfortable, of course.”
You take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside of you.
“Alright,” you murmur. “I’m still feeling pretty rough, but I’d like to see him… tonight, if possible.”
Despite your confusion and worry, you know that facing your husband and talking with him is the only way to get answers. The answers that you crave so desperately in hopes that it’ll mend your breaking heart - and marriage.
Lizzy gives you a reassuring nod.
“Of course,” she says gently. “You rest up, and I’ll come get you when it’s time to go.”
She stands up, gently readjusting the cloth on your head.
“Try to get some sleep, okay?”
You nod, laying yourself back down.
You’re going to need it to cross the bridge that awaits you tonight.
READER AND BILL INTERACTION WOOP WOOP!! Also I’m not gonna lie, I feel like I messed up the timeline a little bit but I’m just gonna go for it. Thank you for reading! :)
Tag List: @artistic-gato @karmaisacatluzi @therottenheartofscum @violetvsworld @inquiit @catr4dora
#gravity falls#gravityfallsxreader#stanford pines#stanford pines x reader#gravity falls dipper#mabel pines#stanley pines#gravity falls fanfiction#ford pines x reader#ford pines#the book of bill#bill cipher#stanford pines x you
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goodbyes are sour
connor x gn!reader — 2.1k words
genre: angst sorta! mutual pining in denial
warnings: mentions of guns and killing, kabedon for the sake of science, connor unreliable narrator LOL u have feelings android man… maybe ooc idk. (wrote this w the idea of connor being deviant since the beginning bcs Yeah!)
synopsis: You meet Connor again. Turns out things are much more complicated when you aren’t working together.
author’s note: hi dbh fic?! i Love connor nd i’ve been writing this for a while (crazy since it’s rly short) but i don’t like it much… anyways whoevers alive in the dbh fandom have this!
“Detective.”
There’s just something about the way Connor speaks. The cadence, the pitch, the enunciation of each word. It’s painfully evident that he isn’t human. Everything about him is so machine-like that even his perfect, human-like exterior could not fool anyone. However it is something you got used to. Hearing the android speak your name and call you ‘Detective’ back a while ago felt somewhat unsettling. Now it’s so easy to recognize that it almost makes you feel at ease.
“Do you seriously think I’m an android? I don’t wanna deal with those fucking machines, either. I’d be glad if you put a bullet through them rather than me.”
Turns out hearing him fake being a human is ten times more terrifying than his android speech patterns could ever hope to be.
This was not part of the plan.
You were sent with a unit to patrol around the streets for any android who still hadn’t been brought back or destroyed. You weren’t a fan of this whole assignment, but felt better than the rookies who were sent out to shoot humanoid robots as their first field mission probably did.
It would be fine, is what you told yourself, because you didn’t feel anything towards Cyberlife’s creations enough to be completely uncomfortable with the idea of their blue blood on your hands, though it wasn’t ideal. You could manage. Until the first person you came across happened to be the one android you genuinely cared about.
“I don’t think he’s one of them…” one of your fellow officers murmurs next to you. You suddenly become very aware of the gun he, too, is holding and pointing towards the target. Fuck. As if the situation wasn’t bad enough.
At least this idiot’s performance seems to be fooling them.
You wait one second, then sigh on the second, and finally lower your gun on the third. “You shouldn’t be here.” you say casually, prompting your colleagues to relax and the atmosphere to lighten a little. Your heart is in your throat, however. “We’ve got orders to round up every android we see around here. You should go home. This isn’t exactly safe.”
“I know, I know.” he sighs, rolling his eyes a little, “I was gonna leave anyways, thanks.”
Your coworkers mumble to themselves about how disagreeable this guy’s attitude is and it’s enough for them to miss the wink the latter sends your way as he leaves. You almost regret not shooting a bullet through his head.
Still, you sigh in relief, setting your gun back at your side and running a hand over your face. You don’t think you can continue patrolling in peace. There’s one too many questions in your mind and the key to answering them is escaping from your grasp.
You take the phone in your pocket and pretend to get a call, moving it to your ear and looking at the members of your team. “I’ll join up with you later.” you say, gesturing towards your phone. They nod and walk away, and you do the same, feeling more relieved than ever that these people see you as a leader of sorts. They won’t question you on anything. You hurry towards the direction your so-called partner left to the moment they’re out of sight.
A rooftop door, stairs, and more stairs. You’re jogging down like you’re chasing a criminal on the run. You’re down to the fifth floor out of eight when someone grabs your arm and pulls you out a door.
“Wha—” you try to yell, but a cold hand settle over your mouth. Your body relaxes but your expression tenses. Connor. “Let me go,” you mumble incoherently, surprisingly succeeding in getting him to let you step away.
You sigh and shake your head, turning around abruptly. His ‘human costume’ (which really just was a grey suit jacket thrown over what should’ve been his Cyberlife uniform, glasses, and a cap to hide his LED) is already gone, replaced by his usual attire, just missing his jacket.
“What the hell was that about?” you ask, annoyed, pointing towards the staircase (back there, on the roof) and the android simply shrugs. “Connor.”
“I was undercover, Detective. I thought someone as smart as you would recognize that much.” he says, his tone back to normal. You’d feel relieved if he wasn’t being so irritating. “Was I wrong?”
Your face drops. “No. I figured as much. But what for?” you sigh, crossing your arms.
“Same mission as always.”
“Who are you chasing? Did you find the place?”
“I have no reason to tell you.”
It only clicks then that while you know about Connor continuing his mission after being laid off the case, you’re not part of it anymore. He had to be sent back to Cyberlife, and you should’ve been forgetting about him entirely. You’re still DPD, and you have orders to shoot Androids on sight— Which you clearly aren’t following. He’s right. He has no reason to tell you.
Still.
You grab his arm when he threatens to walk away. You’re not sure what you want to say, but you’re not done talking. He lets you. “Connor.”
“Detective.” he says. You straighten your back and sigh, not breaking eye contact. He tilts his head to the side and his LED flashes yellow for an instant. “You’re angry.”
Of course you’re angry. He’s infuriating. There’s something about how logical and dead-set on following every single rule he is that makes Connor the most annoying individual you’ve ever talked to. Everything he does has to be for his mission. Every single thing.
“Do threats work with you?” you ask blankly, “If you don’t tell me where it is, I’ll get Cyberlife to bring you back, and all that?”
When he takes a step closer to you again, forcing your back to press against the wall, and his LED does not even threaten to change hues, you’re taken aback. Just a bit. It’s the same kind of frustrated attitude you would’ve expected from a human after saying what you just did. But not Connor.
He doesn’t seem frustrated, though. And you know he can look annoyed. He just doesn’t. So he must not be. And you want to find what it is he’s doing exactly, stepping closer to you without even saying a word, but your brain feels like it’s short-circuiting at the distance between you two. You know he does everything for his work. Does he think you have new information on deviants? Does he really believe you would call Cyberlife on him? Is he using his stupid interrogation module on you? Whatever it is makes you even more annoyed.
The silence feels heavy. It makes things worse. It gives your brain time to process how this is making you feel and it’s no good at all. “What?” you break the silence, tone somewhat irritated.
“I’m trying to understand the reason why you’re so angry at me.” he explains simply, like it makes sense. His eyes narrow a bit and the LED at the side of his head flickers yellow for a moment. “And no, Detective. Threats don’t work on me. Not when I can tell you’re lying so easily.” he adds, quieter.
“Shut up.” you scoff.
“I dont think I will.”
“Connor.”
“— However,” he interrupts, “I can step away from you at any moment if you tell me to.”
“No.”
“No?”
What— No?! You register the word after saying it and sigh, face contorting into a somewhat pained expression. You panicked and said it, your mind processing his offer as him leaving you again— With no information and nothing to ease your stupid worries. Now it just sounds odd.
Is that embarrassment?
“You didn’t finish what you were trying to do, did you? You haven’t told me why I’m angry yet. Since you apparently care so much.” you say, tone sounding much softer than before. Your apparent discomposure took away all the bitterness from your voice. Interesting.
Truth be told, Connor knows why you’re angry. He’s not letting you in on the details of what he’s doing despite the time you spent working as partners a very short while ago. He’s spent enough time with people, and you especially, to know that after forming some kind of bond with a work partner, it would be frustrating not to receive information about their mission the way you used to from them—
Especially considering he was still chasing after something you both knew about. Jericho. But he cannot tell you about that. Not… Right now.
What he really was trying to do was evaluate how much of a threat you really could be to his investigation. He didn’t sense any hostility before and he doesn’t now, and you could’ve shot him but you didn’t. But it’s not enough. He needs more time— More evidence that it’s fine. That’s why he pulled you here in the first place. That’s why he pressured you to talk.
He needs to make sure killing you isn’t necessary.
“Because I posed a threat to the stability of your current mission earlier. You wouldn’t have been able to shoot me had I been discovered, and your reaction to your colleagues shooting me would’ve jeopardized your job itself.” he answers.
This reasoning would make sense.
“That’s not it.” you sigh.
Your heartbeat is slowing down. No good. Connor leans his arm on the wall next to you and moves closer. Your heartbeat picks up in speed. It’s almost alarming. He can tell all the details about your physical condition and deduce what you’re thinking or feeling based off of them, sure. But he’s no human. The way he views and comprehends emotions is registered in his system in a much more clear and logic-based way than it is in humans’ brains.
So maybe he won’t ever know why your heart beats so heavily against your ribcage. So he just has to pressure the right places and demand answers. He unfortunately can’t allow you to relax. He won’t get anything out of you if you’re calm. You’re much too turbulent for that.
Or maybe he’ll just have to ask. In a normal way.
“Detective, what’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?” you scoff, eyes widening. Wrong question.
You seem like you want to be angry but something is holding you back from displaying just how much he gets on your nerves. You sigh deeply and look at him, “What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so weird. More than usual. Why’d you pull me here if you didn’t want to tell me anything? And I’m worried. What if you really did get shot? Wasn’t Cyberlife supposed to deactivate you? They wouldn’t have brought in another Connor this time. You’re off the case, you— You would’ve died!”
“Maybe.”
There’s circles under your eyes. There always are, but they’re more defined now than they were the last time he saw you. Now that you’re actually being honest, your whole voice and mannerisms betray any of your usual annoyed and dismissive facade. He didn’t think you cared this much, though he understands that some humans are quick to empathize. To a fault.
Now it’s clear he doesn’t need to eliminate you at all. Part of him seems to have grown fond of your company. He couldn’t risk that getting in the way of his better judgment.
“I only pulled you here so you wouldn’t pointlessly chase down the streets searching for me, since I made sure no one would follow.” he says, stepping back and giving you more space, “You’re a police officer. It doesn’t matter what you say you’ll keep to yourself or not. I can’t compromise. This is too important.”
You’re hurt, it’s visible. He’s saying he can’t risk trusting you. He figures that must not feel nice.
The sound of the radio attached to your side breaks this prolonged silence with the promise of separation. You take it, eyes not leaving Connor’s, and listen to your colleague speak. You tell them you’ll be right there. You’re not one to be late. He knows you’ll really leave this time— Too far away for him to hope to talk to you again, if anything goes awry.
You turn the radio off and put it back where it was. “Hope you succeed, then.” you say, bitter, and push yourself up to start walking away.
“Take care of yourself, Detective.” Connor says. Asks. The words come out before he can really think. Something about your voice and this whole atmosphere made him… Feel uneasy. Like he needed to say something. If this is how your partnership ends, he doesn’t believe it should be on such a sour note. He cares doesn’t dislike you at all, so why should it?
You stagger a little, seemingly stopping in your tracks, but moving again no more than a second later. “You too, Connor.”
Somehow, goodbyes had never seemed so sad.
#connor x reader#connor dbh x reader#detroit become human x reader#dbh x reader#connor detroit become human x reader#x reader
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Death echoes
So a while ago, i found this dp x dc post that had a really interesting lore headcanon for Danny’s ghostly wail. Idk if I’ll be able to find it again, I’ll link it here if I do, but essentially it posited that every ghost has something called a “death echo”, which is an ability unique to them based heavily on their deaths. These echoes are the most powerful move in a ghost’s moveset, but they’re also extremely volatile and draining, typically damaging the ghost in some way when used, with Danny’s being his Wail because he died screaming. The original post then went on to some really cool halfa!Jason ideas based on these death echoes, but for this lil snippet with an extremely long intro I’d like to focus on Danny a bit more.
Edit: Apparently I may have extrapolated a lot of the actual lore behind these death echos myself? The inspiration post was a lot longer in my memories. Or I might've mushed multiple posts into one mental box and then forgot lol. So a lot of the actual detail from this point on is seemingly mostly original material? I think? Idk man, sometimes my brain spits out information without giving me any clues as to where it got that information. Anyway, this post got kinda long and since I'm... decently sure this is where I shifted from summarizing @ailithnight's post to writing all my own thoughts I figured here would be a good place to throw the cut lol.
So! with all of the context-for-the-context out of the way, let’s move on to the actual context for what I’m writing cause I can’t be bothered with writing an intro XD
Essentially, this is an au where Danny is an established member of the Justice League, or maybe one of the teen hero teams? I’m a slut for eternal teenager Danny, but maybe he’s enough of a powerhouse to be on the main team despite him both looking and acting like the dumbass fourteen year old he died as. Either way, he’s on a League/League-sanctioned mission and things go bad. Like, everyone-almost-dies bad. And so as a final desperation attack, Danny uses his Wail, a power he’s never told anyone on the league he even has. And it works, and they make it out, but after the fact everyone has. Questions. And because in this au death echoes are deeply personal, Danny dodges those questions, but the league coughbatmancough isn’t satisfied with that. So they push for answers. Answers Danny’s not willing to give, because. In my mind death echoes aren’t just based on how a person died, but also their experience of that death. What their last thoughts were. When Danny died the only thing that he could process beyond just an all-encompassing painpainpainpainpain was the sound of someone screaming. His screaming. And so his death echo is the sound of a fourteen year old child screaming in deathly pain and terror weaponized, which definitely gave the league Even More Questions than they would’ve had already. Which finally brings us to the actual snippet, which is a conversation between John Constantine, who was brought in for his experience with the supernatural once it became clear Danny wasn’t going to talk, and Danny himself.
~~~~~~~
“So, kid. Batsy tells me you’ve been hiding some of your abilities, wanna tell me what's up with that? Call it an occultist's intuition, but somethin’ tells me you’re not just being stubborn for the hell of it.”
“It’s... complicated. And not anyone’s business, either!”
“Kid...”
“Why does it even matter?! It’s not something I want to or am even able to do on a regular basis! I saved the mission, can’t they just accept that and move on???”
Sighing, Constantine reached up to start massaging his brow. “Kid, you and I both know that ain’t gonna be enough. Now I know that some things are better left alone, but the rest of these idiots? They can’t accept that, Batsy especially. That man’s never left bloody well enough alone in his life”
He looked up just in time to see the otherworldly teen shrink into himself, looking every bit the child he was. “I know but... why? Why do they need to keep asking questions? And why do they only ask the ones that hurt to answer?”
A sharp glance. “The fuck kinda questions are they asking? Batman was speaking in more grunt than word, so I didn’t really catch all the details of what this power you’re supposedly hiding even is.”
Phantom shrinks even more into himself at that, and responds in a voice so small it’s more sigh than speech. “I... I can scream. And it breaks things and pushes people back. But it, it sounds. Bad. And it brings up bad memories and I don’t like to do it or listentoitoreventhinkaboutitandtheywon’tletmeforgetand-”
“Breathe kid. I know you don’t need to but just take a deep breath with me. Don’t you go getting lost in your own head on me now., Constantine reassured the kid automatically, the sheer hopelessness prompting action long before the words themselves could be understood. Then the rest of him caught up, and he had to pause. Looked up at the kid, saw just how distressed he was. A picture was starting to form in the back of his head, and Constantine didn’t like what he saw one bit. A last-resort power that the normally open Phantom was strangely reticent about. A scream so horrible sounding the rest of the league would not to stop asking questions about it. Terrible memories to match said scream. And one truly miserable child who couldn’t bear to even think about any of it.
“Phantom... is that your Echo? Screaming?”
A miserable nod is his only response, the tears that had been welling up in the kid’s eyes finally starting to fall. Cursing softly to himself, Constantine stood to leave, bracing himself for the Bat’s inevitable questioning. “Well then you just take all the time you need love, and leave the rest to me. I’ll make sure the rest of those idiots know not to ask you about this ever again.” And with that Constantine turned and strode towards the door, leaving the quietly sobbing child to collect himself in privacy.
~~~~~
I had a whole-ass lore dump conversation between Constantine and Batman planned here, explaining how death echoes are deeply personal, and asking about one is a taboo on par with, potentially even worse than, asking a ghost about their death outright. Because they are formed from an amalgamation of how a ghost died, their last thoughts, and their final emotions, in some ways asking a ghost about their Echo is like asking them to describe their death in painstaking detail. But uhhh... inspiration bug left. So yea. Side note, I’d like to apologize if my depiction of Constantine’s accent was Bad, I’m but a lowly USAmerican whose only exposure to British accents is through tv ^-^’
#did some minor edits to fix typos and make things flow better when i went back in to add the hyperlink#that being said dont expect too much i wrote this in a bit of an inspiration frenzy lol#and barely edited it after the fact#the snek rambles#the snek writes#snippit#dp x dc#danny phantom#john constantine#idk wtf else to tag this#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#crossover
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BESTIE!!! I love your writing so much??? May we have some thomas Wayne jr headcanons? I love your perspective of him so far and I’d love to know more!!
Hi, there :D
Idk if you sent this ask to the wrong person (lol), but I'm gonna write down my TJ hcs anyway
He operates under the belief that nothing really matters, that the universe is hopeless, blah blah blah. Because of this, he actually considers Bruce to be "puppies and rainbows" to a certain degree since Bruce holds what he thinks to be, an insanely optimistic (borderline naive) outlook on Gotham's future and people's potential to be good
It confuses the majority of people since his "sunshiney younger brother" is fucking *BATMAN*, who's famous for being the most paranoid person in the planet
100% lets the Batkids do whatever they want. He doesn't really care, but when Bruce scolds them, he takes it as a chance to mess with him, and he brings up all the deranged shit Bruce did in his childhood. (Like that scene in Rick and Morty where Rick shows Beth her concerning childhood toys)
He and Bruce were a nightmare to deal with for Alfred, especially during Bruce's teenage dirtbag years
Tbh, I'm not even sure if he fully grew out of the Teenage Dirtbag phase
When he was younger, he didn't really know what to do with his life, and often asked himself, "What's the point?" It led to him developing a bit of a drug addiction
He's about 10ish years older than Bruce, and after that night in the alley, he decided to go to rehab. He was kind of...a mess at the time, and figured that it would've been better for everyone, Bruce especially, if he just avoided the Manor
His relationship with his parents is...complicated
He didn't wanna be the one to continue the Wayne legacy, and he holds no respect for authority
People take one look at him and immediately clock that he has daddy issues
Was intrigued by the concept of the multiverse and went dimension hopping for a bit. He's definitely Seen Some Shit because of it
Even when Bruce was like 20 already, he still treated him like he was a kid. He learned about the whole Batman thing, and his first thoughts were, "You decided to cosplay that cartoon you watched growing up?"
Mentally compares Bruce's vigilantism to a kid playing superhero. He thinks it's pointless and kinda dumb, but eh, if it makes Bruce happy
Doesn't trust the Justice League. At all. He thinks of them as "Bruce's dumb weird friends." He definitely also has his own plans on how to take them down
Showed up as "Owlman" a few times to make fun of Batman
Has definitely made of Bruce for the Matches Malone thing
Visits like, once a decade. It's mostly to check if everything's gone to shit or not
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