#but… it’s like…. I feel numb?
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Uuuhm… how weird
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a quick silly sketch based off my earlier post about the Cat King having a mistaken identity crisis when Edwin and Co. don't recognize him in his new cat form post-esther
#catwin#the cat king#edwin paine#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#my art#if you saw this post earlier no you didnt#stupid sketch just to get it out of my head lol#he's in trouble boys#I haven't decided how i want to draw Edwin yet bear with me#this is like the first time ive touched my tablet since i went numb so its a little shitty but#it feels nice to make even a little bit of art
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Empty and drained [hypnosis] -> 😍🥰🫠😵💫🥴
Empty and drained [burn-out in a capitalistic society] -> 😞😖😭😮💨
#im having feelings ok#just having trouble letting them be as well#it sucks to feel like shit even though i have to allow myself to feel like shit in order to feel better later on#instead of just empty and numb
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bruce and dick are both emotionally repressed but in kind of different but parallel ways. like, the repression that bruce experiences stems from never confronting trauma or any negative emotion, whereas dick's repression stems from needing to be the emotional support for an emotionally repressed man at the ripe age of 9 and so never being able to process any emotions associated with that responsibility
#the difference as well is that dick is happy to be emotionally repressed if it means supporting bruce bc thats his guy#bruce is dick's blorbo in a sense <- awful sentence#like to me bruce is the kind of guy who sits in a dark room and feels numb and just never registers anything#and dick is the kind of guy like that meme of the dog sitting in a burning house and saying 'this is fine'#am i making sense? probably not. do i care? not really#dick grayson#bruce wayne
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the song came on my shuffle and would not leave me alone until i penned this i'm so sorry
#this is way too much effort but like. music makes me feel things y'know?#trolls#floyd#branch#john dory#clay#bruce#cannot recommend Comfortably Numb enough as like. THE listless + dizzy song#no other tune has quite nailed the feeling like you're about to pass out at any second#also the human scream of agony in the middle is great too#either way#don't look at me#is he dead? i couldn't decide so thats up to u#long post#undescribed
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Doksoo week 2024 day 5: time travel
Prompt list here
#orv#omniscient reader#omniscient readers viewpoint#omniscient reader fanart#orv fanart#hankim#doksoo#kim dokja#kdj#hsy#han sooyoung#if you are reading this and you feel like you have struggled for so long and tried your best for so long and you just feel worse and worse#or you feel nothing but numb and nothing will get better; or you feel like you should start to distance yourself from friends and isolate#yourself so you can rot alone; or if you think that “even if i disappear no one will care tomorrow and everyone's lives will stay the same”#please reach out for help. a trusted adult or a close friend. a suicide hotline or email or website. even if it doesnt work or even if the#response is so robotic and shitty. just by surviving to the next day you are succeeding. you dont have to get better immediately and if you#don't reach your own expectations of recovery you are still alive and you are doing so well and thank you for trying so hard up until now#i love you and i am proud of you and i love you i love you you are doing what you can and you are enough#crit's art: orv
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so you know how when redeemed durge rejects bhaal withers shows up and basically tells their dad to fuck off because thats his kid now. i have a lot of thoughts about the dark urge and all of them are emotionally devastating but anyway. do you guys think astarion saw that and felt some horrible kind of numb, resigned jealousy because years ago he desperately prayed to every one of the gods to free him from cazador and got no answer— then this bhaalspawn haunted by the narrative turns up and Fucking Jergal intervenes just to save their life and flips both ao and bhaal the bird at the same time. because ive been thinking about that ever since my durge run and i need to inflict that pain on everybody else now.
#i think act 3 spawn astarion is far removed enough from act 1 astarion that he like#he probably wouldnt react in any sort of volatile or spiteful way#but i do think hed watch that happen and feel that same numbness he felt after he killed cazador#if it wasnt clear enough i think about that party banter btwn him and gale outside the stormshore tabernacle Every day#he makes me so fucking sad#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion angst#character study#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate iii#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#dark urge#withers#jergal
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Just saw artwork of Jason doing the heads in a duffle bag thing and—-
I’m sorry but there’s just something so visceral and horrifying about a teenager sawing heads off people in a display for power.
Were they bad people? Yes. Did they deserve it? Probably. Did it send a message? Absolutely. Is it still horrifying? Heck yeah.
Just—- knowing Jason and his background, it’s just so heartrendingly tragic. I don’t even think he liked doing it, I’m just imagining him having to throw up afterwards before putting his helmet back on and playing tough crime lord again. The amount of self loathing he must feel whenever he thinks too hard about his actions. Falling asleep and seeing that—
Just— emotional repercussions, man. They’re real…
#sorry this one’s a little deep#see this is why I usually go with pit madness#one of the many reasons#like the put kind of numbs the part of you that feels guilt over something so atrocious#greys out your moral compass#if you can’t fall back on that— you’re doomed#in Jason’s case pls don’t quote me on that#anyway yeah#just#musings#ghost talks#jason todd#red#it was awesome art btw#just got me thinking tho
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#i have tbh even after basically memorizing the exact way he says the exact words#after i hear it post brain rot like in another playthrough#i have to put the controller down#like this should be studied like the Bible fr#sometimes i miss not feeling anything—this needs to be studied like it’s so critical im serious#guy who has been numb for ages and ages finally feeling something#guy who has been running from his feelings finally seeing them catch up#im going insane#im insane now#thanzag#hades
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with how life has been going this year, i’m contemplating suicide more than ever before
#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd#bpd shitposting#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#my entire life is going to absolute shambles and i feel like a fish flopping out of water.. nothing has gone well this year for me#everything has gotten significantly worse.. to the point of feeling like there’s no uphill this time#i’ve become so numb to life at this point that if one more bad thing happens i’m calling it quits#i’m tired of living like this#i CANT live like this#i physically cannot take any more this year
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I need to make this abundantly clear.
If you voted red because you're anti-choice or homophobic or racist or transphobic, I do not want to associate with you. If you voted third party under the guise of performative activism, I do not want to associate with you. If you didn't vote at all, I do not want to associate with you.
I am a bisexual, anti-censorship, pro-choice Stage IV Endometriosis survivor that needs contraceptive pills to even function out of bed. There is minimal research out there for me. Now there will be even less because a convicted felon, rapist, fake evangical pedophile has the majority vote.
I just had to send an email to my obgyn stressing about sterilization as soon as possible before contraception and access to reproductive health care slip from my fingers.
I am no longer the tolerant. I don't care if this hurt some of you who follow me. If you are any of the three categories above, you just destroyed my life along with my partner's, and I have nothing to say to you ever again.
#i feel so numb this morning#like popular vote just stated they hate me#they hate my friends my family#my best friends who want babies and now are terrified theyll have zero care from fascist agendas#i am just so very disappointed but not surprised
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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The fact that Tomura can fully admit to being “a crying brat” inside all along, but never shedding a tear once throughout all this hurt and suffering actually makes me physically ill
#like nothing could ever make him feel that pain anymore to the point of crying#he’s so numb and fearless it’s scary#I wish his emotions weren’t so nullified !! he needs a good cry#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki#mha#pers#tenko shimura#Tenko#shigaraki tomura
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I dunno how I feel about this design but I decided to put out anyways
ofcourse a hotrodz art wouldn't be complete without having porter topless
#art#I feel so numb aaaa#idk if I like it or not its 1am and im sleep deprived lol#clothes were a pain in the ass never again jk#porter solaire#redacted porter#redacted audio#redactedverse#boyfriend asmr#vampire boyfriend#hotrodz#edit: omg im so sorry the red is so saturated 😭😭😭
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Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#filing under things that are just new to me#escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs#thinking of everyone today#I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that#I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too#and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr#I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope#but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office#but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment#have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him#maxiel hours in my heart only always
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