#I know I’m feeling down
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Uuuhm… how weird
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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
#Fumi rambles#Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov#Bite sized fumi#Laios touden#Meta#happy nightmare chapter day#Character analysis#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell#Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it#The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here#that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re#sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down#Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good#Dungeon meshi#Analysis#Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight#Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs
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one morning you cling to satoru’s back and sleepily plead for him not to leave for work and he feels closer to killing the higher ups than ever before
#explodes#i am . Thinking abt him#thinking abt him meeting a sweet non-sorcerer who makes him feel normal#thinking abt how weak he is to you and how he never ever ever wants to let you down or make you sad#so when you give him that meek little pout and ask him not to leave you in that sleepy little voice a part of his brain is just like .#……. maybe i could ask for a day off#even though he realistically knows he can’t#you make him want better things for himself#:((((((((((((((((((((#anyway i’m also imagining him kissing you all over and promising to hurry and being absolutely Stone Cold all day#no messing around no being silly he is a man on a mission and everyone is terrified#he kills the curse so quickly and thoroughly with such a serious expression that yaga asks him if he’s doing okay#💀💀#…. i love him .#he cherishes soft mornings with you more than anything!!!!!!!!!! he wants to sleep in with you…. it’s his dream……..#ari noises ✩#gojo x reader
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Alright. Going to play more Slay the Princess now. Y’all’s reactions to my worst theory yet scare me. Have some fanart to enjoy while I dive back into the insanity.
#the way I play the PC is characterized by never understanding anything ever#and shouting IT’S THE WIFEY!!! whenever the Princess appears in a new terrifying form#the way I pilot this guy is basically the embodiment of the ‘I support women’s rights. and also women’s wrongs’ meme#but I occasionally select options out of curiosity that indicate he is very very bitter and angry and hates the Princess deep down#which is a very neat characterization I’m accidentally creating!#can’t wait to solidify my interpretation of his personality#stuff by sofie#stp#stp meme#stp fanart#stp princess#stp smitten#(kinda. he’s there. it’s implied.)#slay the princess#slay the princess meme#slay the princess fanart#THE FURY I FEEL THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PLAYER CHARACTER’S NAME IS AND CAN’T TAG HIM#stp player#THERE. THIS WILL HAVE TO DO. GRRR.
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Okay but the thing about veilguard reviews is I don’t care what the gaming review sites think. I especially don’t care what some random ytuber who’s probably just grifting right wing nutjobs for easy money and has never actually played the games before thinks. I don’t even care what an unrelated but accomplished rpg dev thinks
The only opinions I want to hear are from 7 trustworthy sickos (affectionate) who had their brain chemistry permanently altered over a decade ago by critically hated yet loved by me specifically video game Dragon Age 2, and only after I hear those opinions will I decide if I’m buying it or not
#I do have. a prediction#but I don’t know if people really care to hear that right now#so I’m hiding it here in the tags: I think it will be good from a game perspective#but it will lack the secret sauce that makes a good DA experience#so it’ll be commercially successful but kind of a let down to long time fans#and I could be completely wrong I have no fucking idea and haven’t seen most pre release stuff lmao#but idk the choices thing… that still bugs me a lot ngl#idk how it can feel like DA like that#guess we’ll see soon enough though#text#dragon age#shut up nerd#veilguard
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Timelapse for this painting I posted
#process#video#the song is the coppice by wickerbird#I know it should be the opposite but I feel very weird posting time lapses and sketches with all the a/i bullshit#cuz I feel like I’m inadvertently contributing to these asshats learning how to duplicate the sketches and brush strokes and shit#like showing how it’s done#but I’m not gonna stop sharing#cuz I love exchanging knowledge and experience with people who are learning to paint#my skills are not 100% technically sound or perfect#far from it#but I learned something from someone else and it’s my turn to pass it along and try and knock down the fear of making something#anyways I drew a horse and some grass
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Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#self ship#self insert#si x canon#it me#doodles#I got a haircut! so my hair looks different now.. as haircuts tend to do lol#anyway… yeah… I LOVE HIM… GRAHHFJH#the confirmation that he rlly is just sad and lonely and insecure and craving attention and validation#OHH FORD BBY.. WE R THE SAME#like… ghghg i loved him already just w his prickly nerdy outer shell but knowing more about the vulnerable center is GREAT. ITS AWESOME#also hes a smart nerdy guy who can do science and expirements and shit which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR A CHARACTER TO DO#u kno im all about scientists….#I couldn’t draw ship art back then 1 cuz I didn’t kno how to draw old men and 2 cuz I was like 13 lol… which would have been wierd#but I’m an ADULT NOW. GET OVER HERE FORD#also it didn’t even rlly cross my mind TO draw that stuff cuz even tho I did love ford#self ship and x reader sorta stuff was not NEARLY as popular back then.. like I specifically remember it like. booming in popularity#at some point. but being pretty rare before that. anyway. thank u passage of time and trends and new gravity falls book for introducing#me back to fictional man I love. so I can now draw myself smooching him and shit#hell yeah.#13 is probably not actually correct I do not remember exactly which year fords reveal was in…#but I was probably older then 13.. but still#the point remains lol.#also omg. the bit in the book w the goth moth. ‘ur probably into this sorta thing right?’#I AM INTO THAT SORTA THING FORD. thank u book of bill for being written specifically @ me. the immersion it’s great.#like ur so right ford I AM edgy and goth how’d u guess that tee hee. eyelash flutter#aLSO PLS IGNORE MY FINGER BEING IN FRAME IN THE LAST PIC. I was drawing in a tiny bound sketchbook#so I had to hold the paper down to keep it flat. and. I didn’t feel like censoring my fucking. pinkie finger out of the image
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I complain about wanting male attention bc of my daddy issues and then when I get perceived in any sort of way by a man I’m like I’ve been doubly victimized …. This is the worst, most blasphemous thing to have ever happened to me ……. The nerve on you to think you can speak to me …………….
#Studying at a cafe rn and some dude turned around and looked me in the eye and was like “u smell good :)”#Bc id like walked ahead of his table to drop my drink in the trash#And at first I was like ummm what which I feel like should’ve given him the chance to course correct#This man doubles down and is like u smell good!!!!!#And I had to be like aw thanks :) but it was rly awkward bc I feel like that’s just not a natural way to start a conversation#So he had to j awkwardly turn around and I had to awkwardly go back to my biochem chapter#Also I’m wearing Love Don’t Be Shy by Kilian rn so ofc I smell good …..#tell me something I don’t KNOW …….#Anyway I rly don’t wanna be perceived rn
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could you imagine if people talked about, as an example, star trek the same way they do fandoms/media that have sprung up in more recent years. like “god sorry i’m posting spock/kirk in 2024…” “nobody hate me for still loving data when next gen ended ages ago pls!!” shut up and just love things earnestly. there is no time limit on passion and if anyone judges you for enjoying media that’s already ended, or participating in a “dead” fandom then um. bite them
#.txt#i know the internet cycles through trends like people go through underwear#but you don’t have to be ashamed just because the thing you love doesn’t happen to be ‘in’ at whatever given moment#you can just yk. like things#express yourself earnestly and likeminded people will flock to you#constantly putting yourself your interests your art/meta/fic down#is just gonna drive away the people who may feel just as much passion as you#genuinely whenever i see people saying stuff like that on art for stuff i like it just makes me feel bad#mainly for the artist#your hard work and love for the work of others is not shameful it’s beautiful#anyways. tired rambling over i’m going to bed
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POURRIR DISEASE (AS DEPICTED IN THE “IN ROT AND INFECTION AU”).
STAGES OF POURRIR.
ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Pourrir disease seems to progress faster when ingested, or when infected individuals have a lot more power for stronger Craft.
Pourrir in bread and pastries appears similar to mold at first, then progresses into unusual lumps if left unintended for too long.
Currently no proper name for the gunk. Looks like blood, but is far too thick, smells far too foul, and tastes far too rancid.
Infected individuals appear not to be cognizant in final two stages. Mainly unnaturally happy at all times.
Distancing yourself from an infected loved one as they progress through pourrir disease may limit your risk of getting infected.
#yeah babyyyy you know what time it is#everyone’s favourite staple of an infection au: the only one i’m actually doing/including!!! look at this awful stages!!!#especially the fourth one how did i draw that. vile vile vile#siffrin looking at this: ahahah im in danger#tw body horror#tw blood#tw veins#tw drowning mention#tw gore#in stars and time#in stars and time au#isat au#in rot and infection au#in rot and infection#zeisty’s heavy hitters#zeisty’s in betweens#feel weird putting down isat au tags without the isat characters#but people do need to know how pourrir disease works so. heheheheh >:3
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Something something about Eddie learning Buck will be there for him off the job, even without Chris being in the equation.
Something something about that being an important realisation for him to finally make because he’s always hidden behind his son when it comes to Buck (and his love life more generally - even Shannon in reality was for Chris not himself) but he won’t be able to this time.
Something something about that realisation being the key to giving himself permission to examine his heart and feel his true feelings.
#Eddie realising his worth separate from Chris is really important#and a part of that is learning that he has worth in the eyes of others without Chris being a consideration of that worth#Buck being there for him when Chris is absent is a key part of it.#because Eddie can literally put all of bucks actions down to being for and about Chris#(which we all know is not the case - Eddie is an unreliable narrator- just like Buck is)#I’m fascinated by the parallels with Bobbys s1 arc - about finding his worth without his family and building a new one#and seeing how the Church (and seemingly got priest) play into this#because I don’t think it’s the church that will lead to Eddie’s gay awakening - I think the church will give Eddie the capacity to forgive#himself and let Shannon go - to really deal with the healing there.#that will open the door for a Chris return at some point.#but I think Buck himself will be what leads Eddie to unlocking the feelings he’s been carrying around since at least the well if not before#Bucks steadfastness towards Eddie himself will give him the strength to give himself permission to examine his heart#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 speculation#buddie
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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#art#my art#fuzzy au#blood#Idk how many of you know that the whiskers on a cat are also expressive of pain#if they’re all puffed up like that and also combined with the floppy ears it means that it’s going through so much pain#and sometimes it’s not physical pain#actually idk if this is vent art lol I’m js feeling a bit down now but I just had this image in my head all day
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Dracula has been my favourite novel for just under two decades and I have reread it multiple times throughout the years, but nothing compares to the experience of @re-dracula . Something about hearing the voices of all the characters, experiencing the horror as it happened to them, is more chilling, more compelling, and more terrifying than any other reading experience. Nothing is filled in and nothing is cut out. It’s a 1:1 adaptation that places you between predator and prey. The voice acting, the sound design, the pacing— all of it lends itself to a completely immersive experience that transforms Dracula from a silly little vampire story into a fundamentally horrifying tale.
Anyways, you can listen to Re: Dracula here.
#re dracula#re: dracula#dracula daily#dracula#plz no sexyleon#I know Dracula isn’t a silly lil vampire story but media has definitely watered down his character throughout the years#anyways I love this podcast and it has reignited my love for this book by making me feel physicall ill#I feel like I’m there homies
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The level of anger I have right now toward WB and James motherfucking Gunn… I can’t even put into words right now how angry I am.
How do you fucking do that to someone? Have them announce he’s Superman PRIOR TO HIRE…then HIRE HIM…only to then say NAH WE ARE GIVING THE ROLE TO SOMEONE ELSE THANKS FOR YOUR TIME DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!!! And THEN POST ABOUT IT AND SAY ‘…but we’re big fans of his and we talked about a number of future possibilities!’ Get the fuck out of here with that shit, trying to smooth your biggest fucking mistake out. We don’t want it.
Like you have to have some fucking balls to really rip the rug out from someone like that. And that someone was so ready to get back into that suit and rebuild Superman and the universe he would be in… only to just let him down so fucking hard.
And not just Henry.. we, the fans! The ones who wanted him back in the first place, and the ones who were excited or at least somewhat hopeful about this whole rebuilding of the DCU! You go and do us AND him dirty like that? Fuck you, man. Honestly, go fuck a cactus.
This really takes the fucking cake, WB. Wow.
#literally I am so fucking done with this company it’s not even funny#and James Gunn you are a literal piece of shit#henry cavill#Henry…love…I truly feel so horrible right now for you#and I want you to know if you ever actually get to read this somewhere that we the fans adore you and love you#and we are here to support you during your biggest ups and downs#I’m sending you all the positive vibes and love your way darling#please keep your head up high. this is certainly not the end for you. you’ll get something bigger and better#something you absolutely deserve#❤️
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I don’t draw the boys enough despite them being the main guys lol. I really need to focus on them more. I love them
#they looking out the window#curious little munchkins#four swords au#four swords#four swords adventures#kinda feeling down tonight but this au makes me happy#I like it a lot#but I never know what to draw from it cuz I don’t have the story fully fleshed out#so I’m kinda doing snippets of whatever#four swords manga
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