#but I learned something from someone else and it’s my turn to pass it along and try and knock down the fear of making something

[kii-nami]

WHITE COMET'S DESCENT | IL CAPITANO

You never state for what reason you are holding him back, but it is already obvious. The Commander of the Khaenri’ahn army went missing with one swift strike of the starbound ice. You don’t seem to think of people as disposable yet cannot bring yourself to warm the snake’s nest willingly. Thrain shares the sentiment: he has never been a fan of holding his enemies closer than his friends. And despite your peculiar character, this is definitely something Thrain cannot fault you for. Queen [Name] Einherjar is incapable of trusting even herself. He fears that one day it can become your downfall. He accepts the position with no hesitation, yet it does not save either of you from damnation.

CW: 9K WORDS; PART TWO OF TWO; FEM!MC; MADE-UP KHAENRI'AHN LORE; OCS MENTIONED; PART OF A WIDER GENSHIN AU BY ME AND MY FRIEND; INCLUDES A NECESSARY MAVUIKA NERF; IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO ASK, I NEED TO RANT ABOUT HOW THEY BUTCHERED NATLAN

His lady cannot die, as she buried her own mortal flesh under the Sea of Flowers at the End a very long time ago.

It takes five years of your companionship and the watchful eye of the Crimson Moon for Thrain to learn that you do not deem yourself a living being. You have died twice and twice you’ve been reborn as someone else in a corpse of the white comet long faded. And now, the rapidly evaporating ice that makes up your body is all they can ever have.

Not that they will have anything at all for much longer.

You entrusted him with Saga’s life. Ordered to accompany her, Lumine and Alice through the collapsing terrains to the closest gate that can take them up above. Whatever is in the box the witch forced him to carry, Thrain doesn’t know and does not dare ask. Not that he is able to complete his mission, as halfway through their journey Alice, startled by Skirk’s sudden appearance, orders him to immediately return to the palace. In all honesty, Thrain has no right to comply with Red Witch’s demands; your word will always weigh more especially under such circumstances. Yet something in the way their hushed, tense conversation seems to be moved more by the inconspicuous glances than the careful choice of words that makes Thrain stop questioning Alice’s choice.

Lumine departs with him, lips tightly pressed together and strained muscles stonier than usual. They never truly got to know each other, so the silence is a bit overwhelming right until the point Twilight Sword appears, barricading their path. Distraught and somehow guilty, Dainsleif tries offering his side of the story. Lumine unsheathes her sword without much of a word, just throwing a nod towards the desolate, floating island to the west of the royal palace. Then she strikes first.

Whatever happens next Thrain does not know. Those closest to you wish for someone to return to your side no matter what, and if it so happens that they can’t do so anymore, then he will become that person in their stead.

When Thrain arrives at the Einherjar family’s burial grounds, his platoon is already waiting for him. Anxious and horrified, they scurry to let him pass to the entrance of the building. The air of the royal tomb is dry yet heavy, the marble and diamond follow his every step, vacant eyes of the statues watching him pass by. You are nowhere to be found but the dull light flickering at the end of the dimly lit corridor is guiding Thrain in the right direction. He stops at the heavy doors, creaked ajar just enough for a person to barely slip in and slides it fully open.

“Princess Saga has departed safely, along with Lady Alice and the box.” Thrain enters Lady [Name]’s crypt without announcing his presence. You can hear his footsteps, for better or for worse, and he guesses there isn’t much time to abide by etiquette now that the sky is falling.

As if expecting him, you are already facing the entrance with your misty eyes gazing right through him, “I am glad.” You say, hastily turning away. “What about Lumine?”

The Bough which crowns your head looks particularly heavy when you take it off and place it on Lady [Name]’s tomb. No headpiece and no extravagant braids, no diamonds woven into your hair and no flowing silks or sheer tulles clinging to your skin. You look more like a soldier than a royal, yet something in the way your shoulders quiver under the weight of your cape prevents Thrain from forgetting that you are, in fact, a queen. His lady. Now and until the memory of this world fades away.

“The last I’ve seen of her, she deserted…” Thrain cuts himself off, picking and choosing what is better suited to say to you in this moment. Watching your hand trembling on top of the stone of the first princess’ tomb, Thrain is sure that any careless word will surely send you spiraling. “To engage in battle with the former Captain of the Royal Guard, my lady.”

He must have made the right choice for once, and you huff. “Whatever helps her sleep at night.” Unclasping your cape, you throw it mindlessly onto the marble casket and face him once more, this time focusing on Thrain instead of the horrors hiding behind his back. A second of silence. Then another. With unblinking eyes, you unapologetically stare at Thrain as if you were seeing him for the first time in your life. And when you address him at last, there is a foreboding sense of finality laced into your tone, “Commander, I wish to formally dismiss you from your duties. You and your platoon may leave this place for good.”

Thrain expected as much. It is evident in the way you sent all those dear to you away long before the ground started shaking. It’s not even a bit surprising now that everything is done you are trying to push him away as well. And Thrain is a knight first and foremost, he was taught to never question any orders and follow them with no complaints even if it is only death that waits him when it’s all over. Yet here you are, relieving Thrain of his duty so he can preserve his life. A life that is not of equal value to that of a queen. A life that to you is far more precious than that of your own self.

Hands crossed over his chest, Thrain rewrites fate of this world for the worst, “I am afraid I must decline your offer, my lady.”

It is not something Thrain says after weighing all his options, but something that happens on its own, with not much thought yet with all the urgency of the collapsing ground below your feet. Your death would mark the loss of the Plane of Fólkvangr, and with the world as he knew it no longer existing, there is no point in preserving his life if the souls in his restless heart have no place to return to.

“That is not a suggestion, that is an order, Sentinel Knight.” Your voice is firm and icy, leaving no room for arguments. “Abandon Khaenri’ah, there is no hope left here.”

Only it is not an argument, never was and never will be. Thrain is a man of honor before he is a soldier, or a knight, or even something as primitive as a simple human. Abandoning you to fight on your own means abandoning the code of honor. Abandoning his beliefs means abandoning the memories of those whose will Thrain is carrying with him wherever he goes. And you are right, people like you and him are not allowed to forget.

“I am afraid I cannot do that, my lady.” Thrain declines once more, this time more deadpan than the last.

You huff, exasperated, accusatory finger pressed against the metal armor of his chest plate, right where his heart is. “Why, of all times, it is now that you decide to be difficult with me, Thrain?”

“I have never been exceptionally easy for you to deal with, my lady.” It is not the best of ideas to prolong this conversation. The world is quaking, the crimson skies burn with celestial blight, and your game of chess has finally come to its end. You always knew something that others didn’t, and you still hold something up your sleeve even with all your cards spread on the table. And if this something is your third death, then this time around it would be not as lonely as those two that came before. “Nobody should ever die alone.”

“Nobody will die.” You snap, knuckles knocking against the metal with a thud that oddly resembles drums. “You will live to fight another day.”

Your lies, as impressive as they usually are, fall flat this time around. Thrain reaches for your hand; some lines have long been blurred enough for it to seem like the only appropriate thing to do. Even with the leather separating your skin, you are freezing. Colder than you have ever been, as doomed as the time he saw you for the first time: dripping blood and diamonds, with no future ahead of you except the one that spells your death date in the slowly fading stars.

Somewhere on the mainland an explosion convulses the realm just as he lifts the palm of your hand to press a chaste kiss on top of the black leather covering it, “I never thought you for a liar.”

“Then you have never thought of me enough.” A joke, as amusing as it could have been at any other time, is still a lie no matter what. “Please don’t make this harder for me.”

And Thrain is sure he should have thought of you a bit less than he did, it would have been more appropriate that way. It would not have gotten him here, however, so Thrain cannot regret the thoughts that crossed his mind in those long five years of knowing you.

A woman of no shortcomings, you never weep. Yet as you hesitantly lean against his chest, face once again hidden from the world you love more than life itself, Thrain can’t help but wrap his arm around your shoulders carefully. Allowing you a moment of weakness before your final endeavor of resilience may be the only thing he can offer you, but what is that if not his duty?

Your breathing is erratic, you shiver every time you hear another slab of ground collapse into abyss, yet you never shed a tear. You move away from him on your own, only when some warmth seeped into your bones, and the sorrow on your face is so unbounded, Thrain finally understands why you hide yourself so. You’ve finally given up.

“What is our next course of action?” It’s just you, Thrain and the platoon he ordered to stay back to protect you, not trusting a single person from the royal guard after the reveal of Dainsleif’s betrayal. It is nowhere near enough to protect everyone, but neither does he expect to do so. Defeat is inevitable; now it is simply the matter of how you meet your end.

You frown, still clearly apprehensive about his disobedience, yet answer anyway, “I will cleanse as much of abyssal corruption as my body can allow. Then I shall engage the demon gods. So you must leave.”

The desperation in your voice is almost enough to convince him. Were Thrain anyone else, he probably would have abided by your final wish. He isn’t, so he doesn’t. With countless souls in the crevices of his modified heart, he met death face to face more times than he can count. He isn’t afraid of dying once more, this time by your side. Maybe this way you all can reach the Plane of Fólkvangr together.

 “Put your trust in me to watch your back.” Thrain wonders if anyone ever told you that you have done well with what you were given. Whether your bloodied efforts and sleepless nights were appreciated. If someone ever reminded you that there is more to life than that tall wall of ice you have built to separate yourself from this world. If so, they did a poor job. If not, then he shall be the first. “You’ve done more than enough.”

Arms limp at your sides, your mismatched eyes still begging him to leave, “What kind of queen would I be, willingly letting her people walk into a decade long plan of treachery instead of shouldering it all by herself?”

You don’t get it, but Thrain can’t truly blame you for it. He too, is used to perceiving his life as duty. For those like you and him, who are strong, it is easier to embrace the burden than let another, weaker person, carry it for you. But he wasn’t born into a lie and neither did he choose to live in it willingly, Thrain knows how to trust his people. You, despite all your efforts, never truly learned how. And that is precisely why you couldn’t see Dainsleif’s true intentions. For you never really trusted him, so you never truly knew him. And he took full advantage of it.

“The one which knew her people stood with her till the very end.” The answer is simple, and even if you think your people despise you now for letting the skies catch fire, Thrain knows it to be false. “A human one.”

“I am a weapon.” You defend your lies with teeth bared and winds raging.

“You are a woman.” Thrain’s truth is as harsh as the cold radiating off your body. “You loved him, and he betrayed you.”

Shaking diamonds of your pupils, you take a guarded step back. You must realize who he is talking about, because your manic laughter forces all the air out of your lungs until tears pool in the corners of your eyes. “Oh, how scandalous.” You muse, a teasing lull to your vowels, “You have learned all about court drama, haven’t you?”

“Only what you taught me.” And you taught him a lot, so Alice has no way to cling to his poor choice of words. Assured Gold can never hold anything against him even with his life being all but in the palm of her brilliant hand. You’ve blinded Vedrfolnir and colored Thrain just the right shade of royal grey for Surtalogi to find him unappealing. You may have dragged him into the life of danger far greater than even that of a demon god, but you have never left him to fend for himself with only the voices of the dead ringing in his ears. That alone is worth a lot more to Thrain than you could ever truly grasp. “I will stay. Whether you want it or not. That’s my duty, not as the Commander but as your trusted friend.”

“I asked you to make things easier for me, not to complicate them even more.” You sigh, heavy and breathless, then you close your eyes. When you gaze at him once more, Thrain knows things will never be the same again. “Those of us who have already escaped will see the sun; those who remained will meet their forever end under the Crimson Moon.” Whatever you decide to do next, it won’t change the outcome of the game you’re playing. Death is unavoidable. Yet as you extend your hand to him, Thrain can’t help but hope. And hope is a thing far too misleading. “Come, my friend, the nation only falls when the last of its people is dead. Khaenri’ah will live in their memories.”

The six eyes follow your every move as you step out of the crypts. Not even once do you spare the Shade of Death a glance. Head held high, you move ahead to your final resting place. And as the ground beneath his feet trembles with god-made quakes, Thrain crosses the line once more.

“What has she done?” A question so innocent in nature, it could tear the veil of sin all over again.

“Complicated things.” The crimson of celestial retribution clings to your body as if it met someone it dearly missed. You welcome it into the Blade of Fólkvangr, the sharpened edge pointed at the skies, “And I am about to exploit that.”

The horizon burns with a peculiar kind of flame Thrain has never seen before. You march there with conviction of someone who has nothing to lose. The transparent crown above your head is shimmering with the glow of a thousand stars. When he notices the protection of your unwavering will is extended to him as well, it is already too late.

It is the last time Thrain thinks of death as a punishment.

La Innamorata masks her true intentions even under the watchful eyes of those most ignorant of the truth.

A lot can change in 500 years, yet nothing can uproot your masterfully disguised sorrows. There is something hopelessly disheartening in the way Thrain, too, learns to hide the truth behind the most mundane of conversations.

Although it is only Thrain and Saga who seem to be exempt from volunteer work, recently you’ve taken a liking to forcing the Harbingers to do some meaningless manual labor.

The old man Alberich is tasked with carving some chess pieces; a pointless thing it seems to be as you never end up satisfied with the finished project. The nameless puppet, rescued from the grasp of the crazed Doctor, is forced to look after the stray cat you took in on a whim one day. Zandik himself, is exiled into his lab with a pile of your journals.

Even now Rosalyne is rearranging the bookshelves in the precise way you instructed her to; she is rightfully confused about your ever-growing collection of fairytales but never dares to complain. Peruere, the unwilling recruit in the place of late Crucabena, is trying to tend to your flowers although her success rate isn’t all that high. Artificially made they may be, yet they die as any other. Although you don’t look all that burdened by the loss of your hard work.

“They died today.” You state absentmindedly, bringing his attention from the empty flowerpots back to you. “The winter is particularly harsh this year.”

Peruere throws you a quick glance, most likely the culprit behind the wilted flowers. The girl, as much of a blank slate as she may seem, is extremely sensitive in the most disconnected of ways. A survivor of the Crimson Moon dynasty; she’s young, misguided, and extremely powerful. A combination which you favor and are not afraid to use to your advantage. She may not be young enough for you to raise into the perfect heir to your ideals, but she is old enough to understand that those who have nothing to lose are the most terrifying.

In Thain’s opinion, you seem to baby her a little too much. But then again, isn’t love both one’s strongest weapon and their greatest weakness?

“Your sorrow wilts those flowers, my friend.” He plays along, Peruere’s shoulders relax just enough for her to not be stone stiff under the pressure of failure.

“I do not weep for that which I do not yearn for.” You examine the black obsidian pawn in your hands – one of Alberich’s creations that you deemed not suitable enough – and finally finish setting up the board. “And I am not particularly attached to windwheel asters, Thrain.”

“That is not what I meant, and you know it, [Name].” Thrain takes it as his cue to make a move, carefully taking the white marble piece in his hand. “What happened in Natlan that made you return empty-handed?”

From the other side of your office, Rosalyne is watching your reflection in the mirror. For as long as Thrain knew her, she was always a fan of gossip. Something like this definitely caught her eye, and despite it not being an official discussion meant for her to hear, you indulge her in it. Something tells Thrain that you pity the woman. Something, if true, won’t surprise him one bit. Considering she became what she is now as a direct cause of Teyvat’s meddling with Khaenri’ahn practices long abandoned even by those strong enough to withstand them, you must feel responsible for her in a way. Which always spells trouble.

If you aren’t careful, your soft spot for humanity might just be the end of you. It was once. It will happen again.

As if proving his point, you give Thrain a pointed look. “We are better than those who took our home away from us.”

Or what would have been a pointed look if he could actually see your face at all. No diamonds or tulles, just ancient moon's remnants and the divine nail rabble melted together into a mask you almost never take off. Not that Thrain himself is any different. Ronova’s wrath latched onto the two of you for reasons he can never dare bring up. What is the point of rubbing salt on the wounds most tender?

“I am well aware.” The words come out a little more deadpan than he intended, you pretend like you don’t notice. “That doesn’t explain your oppressive melancholy.” Rosalyne’s skeptical brow is hard to miss, but she cannot see you the way Thrain does. And it’s only natural for humanity to question what they don’t understand. “Does her way of dealing with this hinder your plans?”

You sigh, a little hopelessness lingering in your breath. “She is a good woman, Thrain.”

Despite it being your words, Thrain doubts the validity of such claims, even if he never truly met the Lady of Fire. He, however, witnessed the scorched inteyvat fields and the utter devastation of Natlan’s terrain, completely abandoned by its human god in favor of committing pointless act of genocide. A good soldier should never question orders, a better one would never lift a weapon against those who cannot protect themselves. All in the matter of perspective, yet you never truly tried to convince each other to change your mind.

“Your unconditional love for humanity utterly blinds you.” Thrain indulges in a bad habit of reminding you of your flaws. Things that pose a clear distinction between the divine weapon you wish to be and the stubborn human that you are. It’s just as entertaining as it is necessary, and if nobody else wishes to extend such kindness, then Thrain shall be the first to do so. “Not that you can see much as is.”

You huff, half annoyed and half amused, “I liked you more when you remained tongue-tied and lost around me.”

“You mustn’t lie.” He chastises you. “Peruere might think it’s okay to be dishonest.” At the mention of her name the girl – long abandoned the flowers in favor of the terrarium full of poisonous spiders – lifts her head to look over her shoulder at you.

“She already does.” You counter with a light smile tugging on the corners of your lips. “Let that child breathe.”

“Will you answer me, or should I pry it out of you again?” The scandalized expression on usually stony face of Rosalyne is almost as delightful as the day you received those from the royal maids in the palace. If only it were that simple even now.

A tired shake of your head and strain to your jaw, you finally speak, “Their ley lines are in a terrible shape, way worse than we initially thought.”

Not seeing anything of worth to observe, Peruere returns to her spiders. With no more gossip for her to feed on, Rosalyne resumes her task. Thrain knows better than to remain on the surface level. You must have found no alternatives to whatever it was you were looking in the ley lines, and with his own journeys proving fruitless, you have finally exhausted your options. You never grieve that which you do not hold close to your heart. Yet somehow it doesn’t pacify his worries. How heart-wrenching it must be, discarding such a burdensome task on someone else’s shoulders just to give everything up to a gamble with fate in the process.

“This makes them easy to access, although there is no way for an ordinary human to restore them naturally unless a divine miracle occurs...” The directions are clear, and the confirmation is there even when it is not. The game ends with a checkmate. Your obsidian king cornered with no way of recovering, just like you planned it to. Natlan must be truly following Khaenri’ah into abyss. “Not that we need to worry about it right now.” The pieces rearrange themselves; the game begins anew. “There are more pressing matters on our board, my dear friend.”

“Which is?” A foolish question. One that can move mountains in its wake.

“We are about to enter the era of change.” You smile, replacing the bishop to king’s left with a shining golden piece. “In ten years’ time, the fourth descender will awaken.”

A divine miracle indeed. Yet not the one you are looking for.

[Name] Einherjar is the embodiment of humanity’s will to transcend the limits of this world.

You are not a particularly sociable person but when it’s beneficial for you, you have a way of making people trust you. Thrain doesn’t know much about your history with Haborym, but she seems to believe that you will help her out free of charge. Something that is simply impossible. Being born into a thousand-year-old deception made a liar out of you, Thrain needs to accept it eventually. And he did so a long time ago, only hoping you haven’t been too dishonest with him. Not everyone has as much insight on the inner workings of your mind however, so they tend to trust your lies as if they were the only truth they’ve ever known.

“I don’t usually question your decisions, especially considering stuff like this, but we do not have much time.” Xilonen’s ears twitch, tail swaying impatiently behind her. “She won’t be quick enough to install the barrier. Even with the Waypoints it takes ages, Mavuika.” Albeit not to such a dire extent, she too, just like you, is distrustful of everything. In a way it’s a good thing, especially for the people of Natlan. Right now, however, there is simply no time for doubt.

Opposite of her companion, Mavuika believes you a little bit too much, “Trust her.”

Once again, a frown crosses Xilonen’s face, “You can’t blame me for being apprehensive. She’s a fatua–”

Mavuika interrupts her before Xilonen can finish her sentence, “Do you trust me?”

With a heavy sigh of defeat, Xilonen gives up her pointless fight, “Yes, Mavuika. I do.”

The Lady of Fire sees it too, somehow pleased to win this stubbornness contest, “Then continue with your tasks as planned.”

Despite it being a proper waste of time and breath, this conversation served as a good distraction from the fact that Xilonen’s doubts, in fact, had merit. Thrain trusts you because he knows you and what you are capable of. Mavuika’s convictions stand on shaky ground at best, yet even with sky corrupted by the tumor of abyss, she still believes you will carry out your self-imposed task as planned.

“It is never a matter of time but of human will.” Thrain reminds it to himself more than he intends to explain it to the rest of the group. “We shall aid you as promised but you must trust her.”

Xilonen’s frown deepens even more, a little sliver of disgust clinging to the corners of her mouth, “I never asked for your opinion, Harbinger. You–” her rant is put on hold by another earthquake, and she lifts her head to the sky where the swirling depth of abyss is looming over the horizon. Only Xilonen doesn’t find what she expects to, “What in Xbalanque’s name is she doing?!”

The ground trembles with each step you take closer to Gosoythoth, until you stand face to face with the imposing abyssal eye. As if imagined the quaking stops, you look over your shoulder and though Thrain knows you cannot see them from all the way up, it still seems like you do. Or at the very least you can hear him.

 “Don’t worry about me.” Your voice is a distant echo that only those under your protection can hear. Then you turn away, outstretched hand itching closer to the tumor until almost all of your arm is swallowed by the dark blue matter. “Carry on as planned.”  

Despite his better judgment and more out of habit than necessity, Thrain nods, and goes on to relay the message, “She said to proceed.” As skeptical as always, Xilonen purses her lips in contemplation. “I shall depart at once. Lady Brighella should be at her assigned location already. Despite what you think of us Fatui, we do not wish ill upon you. At the very least not us. I cannot speak for the likes of the Doctor.”

Leaving no room for arguments, Thrain leaves to continue the fight that does not belong to him but to those who he’s carrying in his heart. Not long after, the sun of Mavuika’s doing lights up the sky and casts a blinding glow upon the people with a promise of protection. You stand, still and unwavering, even when the abyssal corruption starts to slowly creep up your arm and latch itself into the rest of your body. Whatever you want to do, Thrain doesn’t know. Sometimes even he is left in the dark about your schemes.

In a way, it’s better for you to be up there than on the ground. The battle is too reminiscent of the fall. Thoughts clouded, spirit restless, there is way more at stake right now than when it was just the two of you and your almost failed trick to turn the tables on divinity. Now it’s countless souls in his heart and the lives lost before his eyes; the past not lived, and the future not yet dreamt. The mark of the sun brightens; for the first time in a long while Thrain catches himself on the thought of treacherous doubt. The favor of your will may be unmoving yet purifying abyssal corruption has always weakened you more than you dare admit. This loss might spell the end of all things as he knew them.

“[Name], you must get down at once.” A whisper that may be lost along the wind, but it is enough for you to hear. The battle seems to put itself on hold for a moment. Even the creatures of abyssal mimicry freeze in place, watching the sky as it readies itself for the third death of the white comet.

“Just a little more.” Desperation never truly suited you, but Thrain knew more of you than to think of you as anything other than shamelessly desperate. “Just a second more.” Even Mavuika’s warnings of an upcoming attack on Gosoythoth are lost on you as well. “This body matters not, so fire at will.”

Traveler – the descender you have waited so long for, is searching for a way to change your mind. There is none. Not when it’s your whose will they’re trying to shake. Your voice is deafening in the silence brought by death. It’s clearer than it has ever been, even back home where you were the strongest. So much so, that even those who cannot possibly hear you cover their ears.

Mavuika must have heard you too, as the glow of fire blinds his vision. Her trust in you to survive this is misplaced, Thrain decides then. He is not the one to doubt your ambition, but Thrain is sure to question Ronova’s hatred. What is stopping her from tricking you into complacency just to remove you from the equation? Not much, yet your love for humanity is not a learned trait but the one you inherited with your mother’s blood. So should he trust the one who cursed you all to care?

“With my own two hands I shall carve the new dawn of humanity…”  Your breath stutters as the sky cracks open. “And let your light awaken the destiny of your own forging…”

It’s quiet as the flames slowly die out, only to reveal the shattered plates of the fake sky. You are nowhere in sight; the only visible thing is the corpse of the moon scattered around behind the firmament. To his relief, your blessing is still hanging over his head, so Thrain dares not lose hope.

White noise in his ears, your heavy breathing is rippling at the edges of his mind with the drums of someone’s erratic heartbeat. Mavuika is hesitant to descend from her spot, the residue flames flickering as she carefully approaches the breach to glance inside the vastness of that which is forbidden. She never gets a chance to gaze upon the darkness beyond the false sky, the glow of starlight almost blinding her completely. Thrain watches the woman turn away suddenly, hiding her face in the crook of her elbow until the radiance subsides enough to not burn her eyes.

“To transcend the limits and descend upon this world with the power of my own will…” Everywhere, all at once, your voice is the sea engulfing the manmade cities of days long gone. “Mo–”

Shaken, the Lady of Fire extends her hand for you to take, you never get the chance to do so. The crown above your head is flickering in and out of existence; a small step in her direction, you fail to find the foothold in thin air. Something dimly glowing all around you, you tumble to the ground with the trail of shimmering ice following your descent. Without hesitation, Haborym abandons everything to catch you.

Whatever happens next is undetermined. But against all odds, the white comet was reborn once more.

His dear friend drowns in guilt like in the sea of stars.

Drop by drop, it sinks you deeper to the bottom. Yet with lungs full of shimmering moonlight water, you stand your ground. Ronova doesn’t appear to appreciate your efforts. She didn’t enjoy your wits 500 years ago and she definitely doesn’t enjoy the irony right now as well. It must sting, the idea of being outsmarted by someone so insignificant. So much so, in fact, that she casts her gaze at you the moment she finds nothing else to say to refuse Yohualtecuhtin’s decision to continue serving humanity even in the wake of destruction.

“The wayward daughter of flowers, what have you schemed this time?” Her fury quakes the ruins of Ochkanatlan, the descender’s worried eyes never leaving you all the while.

With your back turned to him, Thrain cannot tell your expression, yet something in your voice is painting a particularly smug curve of your lips, “Are you telling me all those eyes of yours are for naught?”

The Shade of Death still doesn’t get the humor. “Do not be smart with me, child.” Or maybe she is still coming to terms with the fact that for the third time in her long, pathetically restricted life, she has been outsmarted by a mere human. And two of those are your doing.

“I am always smart, not just when you’re around.” You wave her off in a manner that has Haborym questioning your sanity. Evident by the light flickering in her dull eyes for the first time since she and the Traveler returned from the Night Kingdom. It seems walking out of this with her life intact was not enough to return her will to fight, but your reckless distaste of divinity is just barely enough to ignite a spark. “Your eyesight must truly be losing its sharpness, Ronova.” You point at your mask, the dull thumping of leather against metal resonates through the ruins. “Don’t you remember when I said that with these very hands of mine, I shall forge humanity’s new destiny?”

Your cleverness is lost on the ruler of death, her omniscient gaze seemingly closer than it was before your shameless provocations, “Your will is as weak as that of an ant.”

Arms crossed over your chest, you let out a humorless chuckle, “You underestimate the evolution of human spirit, Shining Shade of Death.”

“Have you any shame, child?” Scandalized sneer may not be visible to the human eye, but even in this form Thrain could clearly picture the appalled expression on Ronova’s face.

“No.” Deadpan and straight to the point, you turn your back on the divine which abandoned you first. “I have no right to interfere with the expression of human will. Especially right now.”

“As defiant as always.” The ground shakes. The crimson skies almost seem like they’re bleeding. “And to think immortality taught you absolutely nothing.”

Ronova acts like that curse she placed upon his people was closer to Celestia’s gracious blessing than the greatest punishment for the betrayal which most were not aware of.  Divinity was always a little bit delusional, and despite his disdain for the Shade of Death, Thrain almost pities her entire existence. Immortal and shackled, she is forever forced to watch over the rules of the world she despises.

This freedom to choose your own fate must fill her entire being with envy. And what is the best way to deal with something that you can never possess, if not take it away from those who are lucky enough to have it? And what is a greater punishment than having all the time in the world, yet not being able to do anything with it? Thrain can’t think of any. Neither can Ronova, herself.

“Do what you must, Yohualtecuhtin.” Not quite resigning, Ronova gives up her fight. Cornered with by her own rules and with no loopholes to use against you and him, she must endure yet another triumph of humanity over the laws of the gods. “This world is of no interest to me now.”

She lingers. Looming and unwanted, watching his every move. Even when Thrain gets down on one knee before you, hand over his heart, the feeling of Ronova’s many eyes watching his back never leaves. You are stiff, rigid fingers gripping your own forearms as if you are trying your best to keep yourself anchored in this dream. Even right now, Thrain cannot see your face. It’s truly a shame, he almost forgot what your eyes look like. If only the memories of you and him from 500 years ago were as fresh as the last moments of those who died yesterday.

“May I request to be relieved of my duty, Your Majesty?” It’s simply an obligation. A necessary pleasantry to sell the centuries old lie, yet Thrain is almost taken aback by how his own voice is laced with the bittersweet finality of a last meeting between… whoever the two of you are.

“You may.” You nod, looking straight ahead and never at him. “You’ve done well, Commander. May inteyvat guide you.”

“It has, and it will.” Thrain can admit that you were right, in a sense. Despite never making it easy for you, he sure knew how to complicate things when it mattered the most. “Farewell, my lady.”

You say nothing. Just step away and stare at the void of death while it stares back at you. Until the glaciers cover the ruins and the glow of the stars dies completely, with only the crimson of sin clinging to the tips of your fingers. Until the omnipresent daze of death leaves this doomed world to never witness it go up in flames but to return to its last embers flickering in the dark. Until the one whose will can rival the world grazes your mortal flesh and it falls apart under his careful touch.

The brightest morning star calls out to you in the most tender of ways. Hand on your shoulder, he is ignored in lieu of your unwavering devotion to the void. The long-lived shaman, Citlali, shakes her head in some sort of almost-disappointment and insists on leaving you be. It’s for the better if they do, yet Traveler’s hesitation to abandon you in the height of your most bitter loneliness makes him unwilling to walk away. Ororon, always the outsider even in his own domain, advises Traveler to listen in his usual politely shameless fashion; yet when his words change nothing, the young man hastily hides behind Citlali, his hood tugged over his eyes.

It’s admirable in a way, Traveler’s devotion to those he deems his friends. Yet sometimes the worst thing one can do is to meddle with matters they cannot resolve. Even Mavuika sees it, tugging the golden-haired heir away from you. He is almost ready to give up when you finally break your silence. All eyes on you, you finally abandon the void to let it fester on its own.

“Have I ever told you how much I love humanity?” You ask.

“500 years ago. You did.” Mavuika’s brows furrow, wandering gaze searching for something she will never find. “What is this about?”

“Our will to strive forward in this never-ending dream is truly the most precious thing.” You continue, disregarding her question. Human or not, you never planned on answering any, and thus you are not about to start. Be it Furina, or Mavuika, or even Bronya herself who questions you. “That’s why I admire you, Mavuika. The power of human will is shining especially bright in you.” The Lady of Fire doesn’t get it, even from his temporary realm of the evernight, Thrain still understands you more than most. “That being said, even if life slumbers peacefully with the knowledge that it will eventually wake up and face reality, some get complacent. You, too, are not exempt from delusions of grandeur. I guess it just proves how human you truly are. Makes it all the harder for me to stay rational.”

 “What are you talking about?” A careful step back. A guarded one as well, Mavuika may not truly comprehend it, but her body reacts to danger before she can even force it to. “[Name]?”

You move forwards, the crimson pools under your feet in the shade of alchemical Rubedo. The one which served the heavens yet the one which was never truly the final stage of the magnum opus Khaenri’ah was always striving for. Discarded for the golden glow of Citrinitas, Rhinedottir tried to replicate the power of the unrivaled will, yet even with half of your soul ripped away from your body and forced upon Thrain’s unsuspecting heart, she still failed to do so, leaving only mayhem of stardust in her wake.

And now that the omniscient is finally blinded by its own prison of light; now that the Blade of Fólkvangr can never cut through time and space ever again; now that you’ve given it all up for Thrain to return it to the ley lines, weakened enough to be successfully tempered with; now that everything of true value is guarded by Thrain’s own ambition and Yohualtecuhtin’s devotion to serving humanity, nothing that remains in this world can stop the crimson moon from engulfing your body in all-corrupting flame. And so, your flesh is forever swallowed by the eclipse’s shade, awaiting the day the white comet dies for the fourth time.

“Haborym.” The pleasantries are no more. Humanity is done negotiating with the gods, and no compromise can be accomplished. “It was truly a miracle that you walked out of this with your life intact. Yet while you get to save your life and your people future, I have lost one of my most trusted men.”

You’ve lost way more than just one man. The freezing cold of the glowing stars abandoned you once and for all; there is no way for you to return to how things used to be. From this moment onwards the Plane of Fólkvangr can never exist again. All of homeland’s memory is gone, sacrificed for the dream of the future that is yet to be dreamt and what is left of it in Thrain’s heart must find solace in the afterlife of the foreign land. Mavuika does not know this, she can never know this. And this alone makes the exchange as unfair as the contract between mortals and the divine.

“The exchange is nowhere near being fair,” Despite your efforts with Gosoythoth proving fruitful, you cannot hear him now that Thrain abandoned his eternal life in a pursuit of the favor of the dead, but it still feels like you do. “And no good deed ever goes unpunished.”

“Fatui always collect their debts.” Mavuika agrees solemnly, yet she’s quick to refuse you, “I’m sorry, unless you wish to duel me in the arena, I don't think I can give you what you wish for.”

“I fear you are mistaken, Kiongozi Mavuika.” Names have power. Titles mean nothing except the ink spilled carelessly over the parchment. The crimson seeps from your tear ducts, running down your cheeks in such potency it almost seems black. It drips on the white silks of your blouse, soaking in and spreading all over the fabric like blood stains. “I don't blame you. Being a human occupying a heavenly throne, you forget where you stand. Yohualtecuhtin did not lie. God or not, your life is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. It is not with your own efforts that you won, but with the unshakable will standing by your side.”

Betrayal flickers in Mavuika’s eyes. History tends to run in cycles, and it is only natural for the betrayed to deceive the one who trusts them the most, “After all we’ve been through together, you're threatening me?”

“Just because my subordinate is a righteous person, it does not make me one.” You state, the crimson smeared over your skin seems to spread all around you like a contagious disease.

All unyielding flames, the Lady of Fire steels her resolve, “If we were to fight, you would lose your life.”

“Ego the size of the sun. It suits you, Haborym.” One step forward, two steps back. Traveler, apprehensive and cautious, reaches for his blade. Old and weathered, that thing is still sharp only due to his will. Hesitant to use it against you, Traveler is still weighing all his possibilities. The choice, however, has never been his even when he makes up his mind to interfere. Firm grip on Traveler’s cape, Ororon tugs him back to where Citlali is waiting. The woman, disheartened and oddly silent, simply shakes her head.

Mavuika, for all of her talk, still refuses to draw her weapon against you. Crimson is the stone all around you, crimson is the sky above your heads, bleeding is the heart that cannot ever find peace. Your feet never truly touch the ground when you move, and when you stop at the precipice, the crimson slates pave you a path right into the void. The fall is inevitable, but so is the descent.

You ask, the crimson pathway under the two of you shifts and morphs into a staircase. Finally, eye to eye with your first betrayal, you remove the mask from your face. It slips from your grasp, and you let it fall to the ground, to remain forever lost in the city which became its own grave. Mavuika’s face contorts into a pained expression yet never once does she divert her gaze. Deluded and delusional, she remains a faithful friend even in the wake of a collapsing world.

With the only truth you are willing to grant Mavuika no longer being yours alone, you lean down to whisper in her ear, “What can a human god do against a divine weapon?”

You move away before she can do it for you, although her hand catches yours before you can put any more distance between the two of you. “I truly pity you, [Name].”

“You shouldn't waste your sorrows on the likes of me.” You mutter, letting her intertwine your fingers together. A second, maybe more. When Mavuika lets you go, you are uncharacteristically hesitant to walk away. “Thank you. And please don't hold it against him and do not condemn yourself for your weakness. You are only human, and he knew nothing of my schemes. It would have been too exhausting to explain a plan dating 500 years back.”

Held up in the air only by your own will, the Lady of Fire lifts her head to the sky, “Ronova, she called you–” A stutter to her breath, you do not let her ask any questions. The crimson of Khaenri’ahn sins stains the golden brown of Mavuika’s skin. You wipe it carefully with your own sleeve until it’s gone as if it never existed.

 “Natlan will be safer without it, Mavuika.” Your hands drop limply by your sides; the crimson morphs once more and you leave her standing there alone amidst the bloodied sea of wilted inteyvat flowers. “Besides, I am not the only one pulling strings from the shadows. Right, Aether?”

At the mention of his true name, the golden-haired traveler almost falls over the edge. Whoever you are talking about, he most likely understands it very well but all his desire to know more is cut at the root by a steady hand on his shoulder. Mavuika, casting one final glance your way, heads for the stairs that will take her down and away from the ruins of Ochkanatlan. With no choice but to follow, Traveler decides to ask you about it another time, not knowing that there won’t ever be one.

The crimson turns to stone, it cracks and breaks, and the harsh winds carry the dust away from the Throne of the Primal Fire. The silks are still soaked, and your cheeks are still wet when you drop yourself on the top of the stairs, right next to the throne which will serve as Thrain’s temporary resting place. His mind and soul may be disconnected from the mortal flesh, yet the phantom bite of chill grazes him still when you lean your head against his knee.

“I wonder if you still think me human even now, or have you given up on me at last…” Your whisper should be lost in the void, yet it still reaches its destination.

Cradled in the palm of your hand is the pyro gnosis. The corpse sizzles, glowing and warm, awaiting with bated breath the moment you deliver it to Bronya’s chess board where it finally reunites with the rest of its body. Only Thrain knows better than to believe it will ever leave your possession.

[Name] Einherjar trusts no one, not even herself. So when the other six parts of the corpse appear from the thin air, circling your palm with a magnetic pull that forces the pieces apart, Thrain is not even a bit shaken. You drop them to the ground too carelessly for something you so painstakingly hunted all this time, mismatched eyes forever scarred by abyss refusing to look at the remains any more than necessary.

“If I were a better person, I would’ve found another solution. I am not, so here we are.” Voice strained with emotion, your lashes drip with starlight. You do not weep for that which you do not yearn for, yet with the way tears dilute the crimson staining the skin of your face, it is hard for a heart to not ache in return. “But aren’t you proud of me, Thrain? For finally relying on someone else? It only took me 500 or so odd years…”

Swallowing harshly, you wipe your face clean with the same sleeve you cleansed the baleful blood from Mavuika and dart to your feet. Knee perched on the throne and one hand on his shoulder, you lift the helmet and place it carefully next to your feet. Then you lean down impossibly close. So close, one would be able to feel the warmth of breath on their skin. Neither of you is truly breathing, however, so the only thing that retains any warmth is the palm of your hand in which you held the pyro gnosis.

“You’ve waited a long while for me, so take your time. All the time you need. It’s my turn to wait.” Ear pressed right over his heart, you hear nothing. No heartbeat and no echoes, the void is the only thing that remains constant. “And when it’s over, I will welcome you back into the remnants of the old world with open arms.” Somehow the knowledge of this being just a beginning does not quench your misery, in turn, your tears grow only stronger. “But I am sure you know that already. You were always good at seeing me…”

The wind picks up again. The ashes and dust floating in the air serve as a reminder that the Thousand Winds of Time follow your every endeavor with a blessing which Death would never grant you. You shiver, the stained fabric of your glove slides off your hand with ease. Winds pick it up and carry it somewhere far away and you will never go searching for it. Your fingers swipe along the surface of your bottom lip, and then you do the same for him, fleeting touch yearning to linger for more than allowed. The phantom cold has never felt more like home than in that moment.

You distance yourself with a bitter chuckle, stained sleeve covering your face from the world, “How scandalous, some court ladies would have been devastated…”

Thrain is sure it would have been the case, yet there is no way of proving you right by causing outrage in the royal court of your memories. Fate was cruel, and it continues to prove to be the worst kind of tyrant even when you rebel against it.

“I’ve always–” You interrupt yourself, shaking your head to remove whatever improper thoughts crossed your mind. As if it could get any more inappropriate. “Never mind. It can wait for when I see you again.” Then you place the helmet back and gather the scattered gnoses, hiding them back in the Blade of Fólkvangr for safekeeping. “Till we meet again under the kinder moon, my heart and I.”

Thrain is aware this is your final farewell. You turn around and vanish to never come back to him despite your tear-stricken promise. His beloved is a distrustful liar, and when he sees you at last, you are a white comet descending upon the flaming remains of this old world. Burning bright to unite humanity in hatred just to die by the Holy Blade through your chest and the nails through your limbs.

This new world better be worth living with your blood staining his hands.

Thrain will decide when he gets there. For now, the white comet smiles just as beautifully as the day he lost her.

[st-hedge]

Timelapse for this painting I posted

[femonologue]

Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.

I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.

A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.

"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.

She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"

"What's a tulip?" I ask.

"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."

"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.

I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.

"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.

I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.

It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"

I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.

"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."

I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."

We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.

I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.

By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.

Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.

When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.

After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.

I never see grunge girl again.

That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.

[librababe99]

request: jason todd and reader are babysitting (damian, a random child, you choose) and someone confuses both of you as parents and jason is struck by how much he doesn’t hate being mistaken for the father of your child.

Hi anon! Honestly this is such a cute idea🥹 lucky for you I was able to whip up something....

Title: Unspoken Bonds summary: Jason, reader, and Damian, spend a day at the Gotham Aviary, indulging Damian's fascination with birds of prey. As they bond, a passing stranger comments on how cute their "family" looks, unknowingly sparking something deep within Jason.

The morning sunlight filtered through the windows of Wayne Manor, casting a golden glow over the grand living room. You were sitting on the couch, waiting for Jason to finish lacing up his boots while Damian stood near the door, arms crossed with his usual impatient glare.

“I still don’t understand why I need the two of you to accompany me,” Damian grumbled. “I’m perfectly capable of going alone.”

Jason chuckled as he straightened up, meeting Damian’s glare with a teasing smirk. “Oh, I’m sure you are, demon spawn. But if you want to keep Alfred from locking down the Batcave after the last time you snuck out, you’ll play along.”

Damian huffed, crossing his arms tighter. “That was your fault. If you hadn’t—”

“Okay, enough,” you interrupted, standing up and grabbing your bag. “Let’s just enjoy the day, alright? We’re taking you somewhere you’ve wanted to go, Damian. Be happy.”

The teen gave you a skeptical glance, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes. You had planned a surprise for him, and despite his stubbornness, Damian’s love for adventure always won out in the end.

After a short drive into Gotham, the three of you arrived at the Gotham Aviary, a hidden gem in the city—a large sanctuary home to all kinds of birds of prey. Damian’s eyes lit up the moment he stepped out of the car. He’d been talking about visiting this place for months now, and even though he’d never admit it, he was thrilled.

“Impressed?” you asked with a grin.

Damian looked away, trying to mask his excitement. “It’s acceptable.”

You exchanged a knowing look with Jason, who just shook his head with a laugh. “He’ll be bouncing off the walls in no time,” Jason whispered to you, and you playfully nudged him as the three of you made your way inside.

The hours passed peacefully. Damian immersed himself in learning about the birds, engaging in long conversations with the caretakers and volunteers about falconry and raptor behaviors. Jason stayed by your side, his hand occasionally brushing against yours, a quiet smile always playing on his lips as he watched Damien be... well, Damian.

“I think he’s actually enjoying himself,” Jason mused quietly as Damien watched a golden eagle take flight.

“Of course, he is,” you replied, leaning into Jason a little. “He may act tough, but he’s still a kid.”

Jason hummed in agreement, his arm slipping around your waist as the two of you stood there in a comfortable silence, watching Damian.

As the three of you left the aviary later in the afternoon, the sun beginning to set, you passed a family with a young child in tow. The mother, smiling brightly, looked over at the three of you and said, “Oh, you have such a cute family! Reminds me of my own when we first came here.”

You blinked, slightly caught off guard, but before you could respond, Jason froze beside you. He didn't say anything, but you felt his grip on your hand tighten, the tension in his body suddenly palpable.

The woman continued on her way, none the wiser to the storm of emotions that her innocent comment had stirred.

Jason didn’t speak for a few moments, but you could tell something had shifted. His usually calm and teasing demeanor had faded into something more serious, his expression distant. Damian, thankfully, was already distracted with something else and hadn’t noticed.

“Jay?” you asked softly, stopping and turning to face him. “You okay?”

Jason’s gaze lingered on the sidewalk for a second longer before he looked up at you, his eyes searching yours as if trying to find the right words. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly. “Yeah, I’m fine, babe. It’s just... what that woman said.”

You tilted your head, gently encouraging him to continue.

“The whole... family thing,” Jason said, his voice unusually quiet. “It just... caught me off guard, I guess. I never really thought about it before. Having... a family.”

The weight of his words settled between you both, and you could see the vulnerability behind his eyes, something Jason rarely let anyone see. For all the bravado and snark he carried, there were parts of him—damaged, fragile parts—that still grappled with his past, his death, and his complex relationship with Bruce.

You reached out and cupped his cheek, thumb gently tracing his skin. “What are you feeling, Jay?” you asked softly, knowing better than to push him too hard.

He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into your touch as if grounding himself. When he opened them again, his expression was calmer, but his emotions were still raw. “It’s not that I’m scared of it. I’m not freaked out about the idea of having a family with you.” He paused, searching for the right words. “It’s... more like, I didn’t know how much I wanted that. Until now.”

Your breath caught slightly at his admission. Jason wasn’t someone who easily allowed himself to be vulnerable. His life had been filled with pain and loss, and the idea of stability—of a family—was something that had always seemed out of reach for him. But now, in this quiet moment, he was letting himself feel it. The possibility. The hope.

You smiled gently, brushing a lock of hair away from his face. “You’d be a great dad, you know that, right?”

Jason let out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh. “Yeah? You think so?”

“I know so.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, his lips brushing your forehead as he held you close. You could feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath his jacket, his breath warm against your skin.

Damian, noticing you two lagging behind, turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Are you two seriously having a moment right now?”

Jason chuckled, releasing you but keeping his arm draped over your shoulders. “Relax, demon spawn. Just figuring out if you’d make a good big brother one day.”

Damian’s eyes widened, and he scowled. “Tt, not even funny.”

You laughed, ruffling Damian’s hair as you caught up with him. “You’d be a great big brother, too, Damian. Imagine all the little bird lessons you could teach.”

Damian rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it, a tiny smirk playing at his lips as the three of you made your way back to the car.

As you drove home, the quiet of the evening settled over you all. Jason’s hand found yours again, giving it a gentle squeeze. You glanced over at him and saw a new warmth in his gaze—one that promised something deeper, more enduring. A future neither of you had quite imagined before.

And for the first time, Jason allowed himself to feel something other than fear when he thought about that future. Instead, he felt hope.

[hvseung]

back to campus (l. hs)

pairing: heeseung x female!reader

genre: enemies who fuck, one shot, pwp

warnings: explicit smut, public sex, profanity, passing out, jealous and possessive behaviour, minors DNI!

wc: 5k

.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*

Under the dim glow of streetlights, Heeseung glided effortlessly across the smooth pavement, the cool night air nipping at his cheeks. Tonight, the streets were unusually quiet, save for the rhythmic hum of his skateboard and the occasional distant car passing by. As he rounded a corner, his eyes caught sight of someone ahead, completely absorbed in their phone, oblivious to the world around them.

He almost instinctively rolled his eyes as he recognised the figure to be you, caught in the glow of your screen, navigating the deserted pathway with unwavering focus. Heeseung's brow furrowed slightly as he slowed his pace, watching from a distance. Despite the longstanding rivalry that simmered between the two of you, a flicker of concern tugged at him. He knew this hour held its own dangers, especially for a woman walking alone.

Heeseung hesitated, debating whether to call out a warning or simply skate past. The decision loomed as he stood there, contemplating their unexpected intersection in the nocturnal stillness of the streets.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" He calls, causing you to flinch, quickly turning on your heel to face him. As soon as you meet his gaze, you roll your eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" You sourly retort back. Heeseung lifts his skateboard into view, signalling his actions for being out so late at night.

"Skating," he said dryly, raising an eyebrow. "What's your excuse?"

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm walking home."

"At this hour?" Heeseung asked, his skepticism clear. "Where were you?"

"Not that it's any of your business" you repeated, turning to walk away. Heeseung kicked off the ground, gliding to keep pace with you.

"You're so stubborn" He mutters, his voice edging with irritation "Why do you have to be so difficult all the time, it's no wonder you cant get along with anyone"

"Because I don't need you to look out for me. Who are you? My dad?" You quicken your pace, hoping he'd take the hint and leave you alone, but he only speeds up, his skateboard clattering against the pavement.

"No, I'm not your damn dad. But I can't just let you walk around outside of campus this late at night. Youre such an idiot." He scolded, keeping up with you effortlessly

"Stop following me. You look like a desperate pervert." Your back was still turned to him, but he quickly swerves infront of you. You to abruptly stop as he blocks your path, towering over you.

He looks down at you with narrowing eyes and his jaw clenches "I'm not going anywhere until I make sure you get back to campus safely, so shut your smart mouth and start walking"

"And im supposed to believe that? What do you really want? Spit it out." You fold your arms, firmly stood in your spot. Heeseung rolled his eyes, annoyed with your stubbornness. He crosses his arms, mirroring your pose and looking down at you with a mix of irritation and... something else in his eyes.

"I'm trying to make sure you're safe, idiot," He said gruffly. "Is that so hard to believe? I may not like you, but I can't just let you walk around out here late at night by yourself."

You meet his gaze, desperate to challenge him, but as the night draws on and sleep begins to catch up with you, you decide against it. "Fine."

Heeseung smirked slightly, enjoying the fact that he had won this little battle of wills. He pushed his skateboard out from under his feet and kicked it up, catching it in his hand. "Finally, you learned how to cooperate," He said, starting to walk beside you. "I can't believe you were going to walk back to the campus by yourself. What were you thinking?"

You both walked side by side in silence for a few moments, the only sound was the quiet rustle of the night air. Heeseung glanced at you from the corner of his eye, his mind working on something. "You know, you never answered my question," he said suddenly, breaking the silence. "Where were you that you're coming back so late?"

"A friend's." You say dryly, trying to keep communication to a minimum.

Heeseung raised an eyebrow at your vague answer, sensing that there was something more to the story. "A friend's...?" he repeated, his tone skeptical. "What kind of friend? A boyfriend?"

"Wouldn't you like to know..." You smirk, scoffing lowly.

His jaw clenches involuntarily at your smirk. A sudden wave of possessiveness shot through him. The thought of you with someone else, especially a boyfriend, irritated him more than he cared to admit. "Yeah, I would like to know," he said gruffly, trying to keep his cool. "So answer the damn question."

"I was at Sunghoons house. Happy?" You smile sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

Heeseungs eyes widened slightly in surprise at the mention of Sunghoon's name, a pang of jealousy clenching at his chest. "Sunghoon?" he repeated, his voice laced with annoyance. "What the hell were you doing at his place this late at night?"

"You know, for someone who 'hates my guts'," you quote his past words with your fingers "you sure want to know a lot about me, dont you?"

Heeseung's eyes narrowed, his irritation only growing at your sarcastic remark. He clenched his jaw, trying to reign in his emotions, but your sassy attitude was getting under his skin. He let out a frustrated huff. "It's called concern, smartass. I don't need to hate you to want to know that you're safe."

He continued to walk, his steps increasingly aggressive as he tried to tamp down the jealousy that was brewing in his chest. The thought of you with anyone, especially someone like Sunghoon, made him more than just irritated. "So spill, Princess, what were you doing at Sunghoon's place?"

Your head snaps at the nickname, your face contorting into what can only be described as pure disgust "Do not call me that. And its none of your fucking business"

A cruel smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he noticed your reaction to the pet name. He had hit a nerve and he reveled in it. He takes a step closer to you, towering over you. "Oh, what's the matter, Princess? Don't like that nickname, hm?" He taunted, his voice low and mockingly sweet.

You stopped walking, turning to face him. "What is your problem? You're just pissing me off on purpose now."

Heeseung chuckled darkly as you stopped and turned back to him. He takes a step closer, closing the gap between you and him, until he's standing so close that you have to tilt your head back to meet his eyes properly. "Oh, Princess, you have no idea. I haven't even started to piss you off yet."

He takes another step, his body now mere inches away from yours. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear. "And trust me, I can do a lot worse than just call you Princess."

"Fuck you." You spit, attempting to walk away again, but Heeseungs hand closes around your wrist like a vice, stopping you from walking away. He yanks you back, his grip tight and unyielding. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere." He spins you around, pinning you against the wall, his body pressing against yours.

"What the fuck?"

"Tell me what you were doing at Sunghoons house" His gaze is firm

"What? Are you jealous?" You smirk at him mockingly.

Heeseungs breath catches in his chest as your mocking smirk digs under his skin, making his frustration flare. "Jealous? Me? Of some idiot like Park Sunghoon?" he scoffs, but his voice lacks its usual confidence. "Don’t flatter yourself."

"Then why do you wanna know? Hm? Your practically itching to know what me and Sunghoonie were up to." You coo with a shit eating smirk playing on your lips.

His jaw clenches at the sound of the pet name you've given Sunghoon, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "I just... just..." His voice trails off, struggling to come up with a reasonable response. He hates the effect you have on him, the way you can disarm him so easily.

"Yeah, thats what I thought," you smirk "Seungie is jealous"

Heeseung grits his teeth, your smugness only fueling his frustration further. "Shut up," he snaps, his eyes narrowing. "I'm not jealous, damnit." His body presses against you, trapping you against a wall. He leans in closer, his face now inches away from yours, his breath hot against your skin. "I just... I just don't want you around another guy. Especially not him."

You groan as my back hits the cold brick wall. "As if you're in any position to want things like that."

Heeseung's fingers dig into your waist as he pins you against the wall, his eyes locking with yours in a challenging stare. "And why not?" He retorts, his voice gruff and annoyed. "Why am I not in a position to want that?"

"Because I cant fucking stand you." You spit.

Heeseungs jaw clenches at your blunt honesty, his grip on your waist tightens, his fingers digging into your skin. "But that doesn't change the fact that you being with Sunghoon- or any other guy- pisses me off." He closes the remaining distance between you, his body fully pressed against yours. His head dips down, his lips hovering just above your ear, his voice a low, hot whisper. "You shouldn't be with him, Princess. You should be with me."

"Heeseung what the fuck are you-"

He cuts you off, his patience running thin. He grips your chin firmly, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Shut up and listen," he snaps, his voice harsh but edged with a hint of something else. "I'm tired of pretending to hate you. I'm tired of pretending that I don't care. Because the truth is, I do care. I care way too much."

"What are you even talking about? Do you hear yourself right now?!" Your in complete disbelief. Where the fuck is this all coming from?

Heeseung groans in frustration, clearly struggling with his own emotions. He releases your chin and steps back, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm talking about the fact that I can't stop thinking about you. The fact that I can't stand the thought of you with someone else, especially Sunghoon. The fact that I'm so damn jealous of anyone who gets your attention. You drive me crazy."

Your brain short circuits, not being able to keep up with his wavering emotions. But also because it cant keep up with your wavering emotions. Your constant up and down battle with yourself as he spills his secrets. "Heeseung-"

"Just... just be honest with me," he says, his hands twitching at his sides, aching to touch you again. He takes a tentative step closer, closing the space between you again, his voice lower now, almost pleading. "Tell me you feel something too. Tell me I'm not crazy for wanting this... for wanting you."

At this point, you cant even deny it. You would be lying if you said you didn't feel the same, and you would be lying even more if you said you hadn't felt this way for months. You don't know what it is about him. You cant stand him, thats not a lie. But he's just so... tempting? If thats even the right word to uss. "You're not... you're not crazy."

As soon as the words leave your lips, his restraint snaps. Heeseung closes the distance between you again, his lips crashing into yours in a desperate, hungry kiss. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him, his body pressed tightly against yours.

You cant help but moan against his lips, kissing him back with just as much need and desperation. His grip on you tightens as he feels your moan against his lips, his tongue darting into your mouth. He deepens the kiss, devouring you like a man starved. His hands wander across your body, needing to touch as much of you as possible.

He pushes you back against the wall, his lips never leaving yours. His body presses against you, his body heat and the hard planes of muscles pressed against your chest. One of his hands tangles in your hair, holding your head in place as he kisses you with a possessiveness that surprises even him. He pulls away for a brief moment, panting as he looks at you, his eyes dark and filled with an intense desire.

"You're mine," he says, his voice rough and possessive. "You hear me? Mine. I won't let anyone else touch you." He captures your lips again, his kiss bruising and demanding. He pushes one of his legs between your thighs, pressing his body even tighter against yours, wanting to feel every inch of you.

You gasp at the sudden contact against your sensitive core. "Heeseung-"

He growls at the sound of his name on your lips, the desire only growing stronger. He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down the sensitive skin. His hands slide down your body, gripping your hips possessively as he nips and sucks at your neck. He grinds his leg against your pussy, a shudder going through his body as he feels how needy you are for him.

You tip your head back, softly moaning, completely oblivious to the fact that you're still in public. Heeseung notices you tipping your head back, the sound of your moan shooting straight to his groin, making his mind go fuzzy. He nips at your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin, leaving small, red marks in their wake. "God, the sounds you make..." he growls, his voice rough and strained, "You're driving me crazy, Princess."

Your lips silently part as his knee brushes against your clit, making your hips stutter. Heeseung can't help but smirk, his dominant nature taking over. He grabs your hip with one hand, pressing you back against the wall, his body fully pinning you to the spot. His other hand slides up to your hair, gripping it and tilting your head back.

"You like that?" he growls, his words punctuated by another grind of his knee against your sensitive skin. He leans down, his lips just millimeters from your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "You're so fucking eager, aren't you? So desperate for my touch."

You nod eagerly, practically whimpering as you reach down to grip the lining of his shirt to keep yourself grounded. The sound of a passing car pulls you out of your haze, finally remembering your surroundings and just how public this was.

He chuckles at your eagerness, the sight of you whimpering and grasping at his shirt only adding fuel to the fire. But then he too is pulled out of the moment as the sound of a passing car hits his ears.

He hesitates for a second, knowing they should stop and find a more private place, but the sight of you, flushed and wanting, makes it increasingly difficult to pull away. Heeseung grabs your elbow firmly and drags you around the corner into a dimly lit alleyway. The alley was barely visible from the street, ensuring them some much-needed privacy. It wasn't common that people would come down this alley way as it serves practically no purpose, but in the rare case that it were to happen, we were pretty much unnoticeable in the shadows.

His body presses yours against a cool brick wall, taking a moment to look at you, his eyes running over your flushed face, your heaving chest, your parted lips. His hands grip your hips tightly, lifting you up off the ground, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist to keep your balance.

Unlike you, Heeseung was thanking the gods that you wore a skirt today, making it so much easier to grind his growing buldge against your clothed pussy, the friction causing his eyes to shut tightly as he lets out a low, guttural moan. He leans down, his lips moving to your neck, his teeth nipping and sucking at the skin, determined to leave his mark on you.

You let out a small whimper, wrapping your arms around his shoulder to keep your balance as you roll your hips against his. Thats when he decides, he needs to taste you.

Heeseungs eyes lock with yours, a feral glint in them, as he puts you down. He sinks to his knees in front of you, his hands sliding up your thighs and shoving your skirt over hour ass as they go.

His teeth nip at the inside of your thighs, causing you to whine his name, pushing his hair back to make eye contact with him. He grins against your skin at the sound of his name on your lips, the feeling going straight to his already aching groin. His tongue traces a line up your inner thigh, his hands gripping your hips to keep you from moving away. He takes his sweet time, his tongue and teeth trailing over every inch of skin, determined to taste and touch as much of you as possible. He hums against your skin, the vibration sending shivers through your body.

"Heeseung- please." You whine, your lips jutting out into a small pout. He looks up, noticing the growing wet patch in the center of your panties. He licks his lips, hooking his fingers under your waistband of your underwear before pulling them down, revealing your glistening pussy.

"Fuck baby. Is this all for me?" He groans, his eyes practically devouring you. He leans forward, his lips ghosting over your core, watching as globs of wetness pour out. He moves even closer, his hot breath mixing with the cold air, the contrast making your skin prick with goosebumps.

He lifts a singular finger, rubbing it between your folds and collecting your wetness, before bringing it to his mouth and sucking it clean, moaning at the taste of you against. He grips at one of your thighs, hoisting it over his shoulder before pulling you down to sit on his face, his tongue darting out to part your folds.

He wraps his arms around your thighs, holding you in place as his tongue starts to explore, licking and tasting as much as he can. His hands grip your thighs, his grip tight and almost possessive, as if he's afraid you'll slip away from him. You whine loudly, balling his hair between your fists.

"Fuck." You whine, tipping your head back as he sucks and licks at your pussy. He grins against you as he hears your curse, the sound massively swelling his ego. He doubles his efforts, his tongue working quicker and harder as it flicks in and out of your aching hole, his nose brushing against your clit, trying to take you apart with just his mouth.

You cry out loudly, your fingers ripping at his scalp. He hisses, the sound transforming into a deep moan as the pain only serves to fuel the fire burning inside him. He feels you clench around his tongue, the sensation nearly driving him over the edge. He can tell you're close, the way your hips are rolling against his mouth, spreading your wetness around his chin.

He harshly sucks at your clit and then pulls away just before you're able to reach your peak, a wicked grin on his face. "You didn't really think I was going to let you cum that easily, did you?" He laughs dryly.

"No no- please Heeseung. I was so close." You whine loudly, feeling your release painfully slipping away from you.

He stands up, grinning down at you, amused by the desperate tone in your voice. He leans down, his lips just centimeters from your ear, his breath hot against your skin "Oh, sweetheart, I know you were close. That's why I stopped."

"You're a fucking asshole." You spit breathlessly. "Just can't help yourself, can you?"

He smirks, knowing you have absolutely no idea whats coming. He leans closer, his voice low and rough. "You have no idea, princess. I haven't even started yet."

He pulls you further into the alley, bending you over a nearby car. He pushes your chest against the bonnet, pulling your hips back to press against his very obvious boner. Your breath catches in your throat as you feel his clothed dick prodding against your core.

"You have no fucking idea how bad I want you right now." He groans, rolling himself against you. "Now be a good girl and stay still. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes." You say meekly, nodding eagerly.

"Yes who?" He spits

"Yes sir." You whine, rubbing yourself against his bulge, desperate for any sort of friction.

He grins at the sound of your submission, his grip on your hip tightening just a little bit as he hums in approval. "Good girl."

He grins at the sight of you obediently waiting, his hands moving to his pants, unbuckling the belt and slowly pulling the zipper down. He makes sure to take his time, wanting to draw out the teasing. His eyes never leave your face, wanting to see every reaction he can, every flutter of your eyelashes, every bite of your lip, every quickened breath.

You were aching at this point, throbbing as the cold air hits your bare core. "Please Heeseung." You whine, desperate to feel him.

You hear as his belt drops to the floor behind you, then his jeans. You bite your lip in anticipation. He reaches around, placing his hand infront of your mouth. "Spit."

You follow his command immediately, shooting a glob of spit into his palm. He takes his hand, rubbing up and down his sensitive shaft to lube himself up. You gasp as he feel his tip prodding against you, smearing precum all over my folds. He was teasing you, and he was fucking enjoying it.

"Just fucking do it already." You snap, your patience wearing thin.

"Eager, are we?" He chuckles before pushing into me, bottoming out completely. Your breath catches in my chest as he knocks the wind out of you.

"Holy fuck-" You cry out, his length and girth practically tearing you in half. He smirks at your reaction, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. He leans down, his lips trailing hot kisses up your neck, his voice low and rough in your ear

"Yeah, feel good doesn't it baby?" He growls against the shell of your ear, nibbling at your lobe. He grinds his hips slowly against yours, his eyes fluttering close. "Fuck your so tight baby." You can tell he's being slow on purpose. Hes teasing you, and the shit eating smirk on his face just confirms it. But you're getting impatient now.

"Stop teasing me and fuck me like you mean it." You snap, pushing your hips back to meet his.

"You want me to stop teasing baby? Because once I start, I'm not stopping." His voice is stern, almost like a warning for whats about to come.

"Yes!"

He finally caves, unable to resist any longer. His hands grip your hips tightly, holding you in place as he slams his hips against yours, giving you no time to adjust. The friction of his veiny length rubbing against your walls sends waves of pleasure through both of your bodies. He groans loudly, the sound deep and primal, as he finally gives in to the need that's been building inside him all night.

You cry out, reaching for anything to grip onto the keep your knees from buckling underneath you. He reaches forwards, gripping your arms and pulling them behind you.

"Is this what you wanted, Princess?" He whispers, his lips moving to your neck, as he grinds against you with an almost desperate need. "To be fucked like the desperate slut you are?"

"Yes! Don't stop!" At this point, you've got absolutely no shame. You're a fucking mess as he slams his hips against you over and over and over, hitting the deepest spots inside you.

He lets out a deep, guttural moan at your words, the sound making his chest rumble against your back, a physical expression of the need that was coursing through his veins. “You’re so beautiful when you’re a mess, princess. So desperate for me aren't you? Such a fucking whore for this dick."

He reaches down, wrapping his bicep around your throat, pulling your back to rest against his chest. "Say it. Say your a whore for this dick baby."

"Yes! Im a whore for your dick Seung!" You cry out, the pressure around your throat mixed with the pleasure from the new angle making your head spin.

He grins at your reaction, the feeling of you submitting to him, completely at his mercy, fuelling the fire that’s burning inside of him. He tightens his grip around your throat, wanting to see how far he can push you. "Thats right baby, thats fucking right."

You gasp for air as he applies more pressure against your throat, the feeling making you lightheaded. He angles his hips differently, hitting that soft, spongy spot deep inside you, making your stomach tighten. You practically shriek, your toes curling in your shoes as his tip kisses against the pleasure point with every hard thrust. "Seung, I'm so close."

He tightens his bicep even more, his eyes never leaving your face, watching as you struggle against him, completely at his mercy. There’s a primal satisfaction in seeing you like this, completely and utterly his in this moment. "You gonna cum for me baby?"

You cant manage out any words due to the painful pressure on your throat. The painful pressure that feels so fucking good. You can feel yourself getting dizzy, the lack of oxygen and the pleasure just too overwhelming for your body to handle.

"Look at you. Your a complete mess. God, you look so good." Your walls clench tightly around him as you teeter on the edge of release.

"Oh fuck baby." He groans as he twitches inside you, signalling that he was just as close to cumming as you were. "Not yet, Princess. Not until I say so."

You squeak at his words, knowing you physically couldn't hold back any longer, but you were unable to verbalise that to him. Your nails stratch as his bicep, begging him to let you cum as your eyes brim with tears.

"You're so desperate, you can't even form words, can you, Princess?" He mocks, watching as you struggle for air, your body clenching against his, as you desperately try to hold yourself back. "Don't you dare cum yet. You'll cum when I say you can. You understand?"

He continues to relentlessly pound into me, sweat beading down his forehead and landing against your cheek. Your jaw hangs slack as your vision begins to go blurry. Heeseung can feel your struggles growing weaker, watching as your eyes go slightly unfocused. "Cum for me baby."

As soon as he gives you permission, the tightening knot in your stomach immediately snaps. You cry out loudly, clenching around him. He feels you tighten around him, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure through his body. He moans, his eyes practically rolling to the back of his head, his grip on your throat momentarily tightening as he feels his release hit down on him like a ton of bricks.

"Fuck!" He cries out, shooting his hot cum inside of you with a loud grunt. But it's all just too much for you, the grip around your throat and the pleasure completely taking over you, and now the feeling of his cum completely filling you to the brim.

Heeseung feels as your body goes limp in his arms and your head rolls forward, my cheek resting against his thick muscle. Realising you had momentarily passed out, catches you, taking the pressure off of your throat and wrapping his other arm around your waist to keep you upright against him. He gently cups your chin in his hand, tilting your head back against his shoulder so he can look at you, satisfied as he sees the blissful expression on your face.

He leans down, his lips gently resting against your temple, feeling your heart beat fast and erratic, a clear sign of what he’d just put you through. He holds your body against his, his grip protective and his voice gentle as he whispers into your ear. “I’ve got you.”

It takes you a minute to catch your breath, regaining the strength to stand on your own. You turn around, sitting down to rest against the car bonnet as you pant heavily. You can feel his release slipping out of you, pooling in-between your thighs.

Heeseung watches as you pant and gasp for air, his eyes raking over your body, taking in every detail, every bite and every mark that littered my soft skin. He can’t help but smirk at the sight, knowing he’d done that to you. He cups your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. "So beautiful.”

You hum in response, nuzzling against his touch. He chuckles, his hand moving to gently brush your hair away from your face, a stark contrast to the aggressive nature that was coursing through him just a few minutes ago. His eyes take in your wrecked appearance. He can still see the flush on your skin, your eyes glassy and hazy, and he feels a possessiveness stirring within him at the sight. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." You smile up at him

"Are you sure? I've never had a girl pass out on me like that before." He chuckles awkwardly, pulling his jeans back up.

"Really, I'm good. That was... fucking amazing." You reassure him, reaching for your discarded panties.

"I'm glad." He offers you his hand, watching as your knees turn inwards a little as you stand.

"Anyway, should we get you back to campus?"

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@ hvseung, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway. thankyou :)

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first post, kinda nervy

[glorfindel-of-imladris]

I've mentioned this in passing in this post, but this is hands down my favourite line in The Fellowship of the Ring. The line speaks volumes about Glorfindel, and yet the details are easily missed by a first-time reader travelling along with Frodo and friends, and that's because not once does Glorfindel explain how significant his words and actions were. Yet there is so much to unpack! It is only left to us to appreciate them after learning more about this world.

“There are few even in Rivendell that can ride openly against the Nine…”

Again, Glorfindel only mentioned this in passing and did not explain, but the reason for this is because the only ones Rivendell would send to ride openly against the Nazgûl were special members of the Eldar: the Calaquendi, old Elves from Valinor and who have seen the light of the Two Trees. Gandalf later explains that these Elves “live at once in both worlds, and against both the Seen and Unseen they have great power”. The Nazgûl, as we learn, were wraiths that reside only in the Unseen world, and so to anyone else, they were invisible.

We know there were very few Calaquendi remaining in Middle-earth by the Third Age, and most of them reside in Rivendell. But even among them, likely only the warriors could be sent to go after the Nagzûl, chief of Sauron's servants. This early, we get a clue that Frodo and company have met someone extraordinary.

“It was my lot to take the Road…”

By “Road”, Glorfindel meant The Great East-West Road, an ancient road that cuts across Eriador from the Grey Havens to Rivendell and the Misty Mountains. This would have been the most perilous of the roads because it would have been the most obvious path passing through the Shire. Later, during the Council of Elrond, it would be mentioned that Sauron would be expecting the Ring to go from the Shire either to the Grey Havens or to Rivendell, both routes reached primarily via the Road.

It was to be expected therefore that this is the one path most guarded by the Enemy. Again, Glorfindel only mentions his task securing the Road in passing, but the fact that he got the most obvious and thus most perilous path speaks volumes of his ability and position in Rivendell. Only a few deemed able to ride openly against the Nine were sent out, and out of them, Glorfindel was the one sent to secure the most dangerous route. What ability and skill must this Elf have to be entrusted with such a task!

"I came to the Bridge of Mitheithel, and left a token there, nigh on seven days ago."

The Bridge of Mitheitel, or The Last Bridge, is the only way to cross the great River Hoarwell (Mitheitel) from Weathertop to Rivendell. Aragorn, as much as he could, avoided the Road, himself knowing the dangers possibly waiting for them there. Later though he tells the Hobbits, "I am afraid we must go back to the Road here for a while, [for we] have now come to the River Hoarwell... There is no way over it below its sources in the Ettenmoors, except by the Last Bridge on which the Road crosses."

Aragorn and the Hobbits therefore went to the Bridge dreading to encounter the Nazgûl, only to find it safe. Instead, Aragorn finds an elf-stone in the middle of the bridge, which gives him hope. We now learn that it was Glorfindel who left it there, for he has secured the Bridge, likely knowing how important it was to do so because unlike all other paths, this was the one path that Frodo and company would inevitably need to take. If the Enemy wanted to lay an ambush, they would have done so at the Bridge; strategically Glorfindel understood this, and coming after them at the Bridge was exactly what the company needed from him for them to stay safe.

“Three of the servants of Sauron were upon the Bridge, but they withdrew and I pursued them westward. I came also upon two others, but they turned away southward.”

Here once again is Glorfindel describing something incredible in the simplest of ways: the Nazgûl actually flee from him! Thus far in the book, the Nazgûl were the first source of terror for Frodo's company as well as for us, the readers, yet here Glorfindel was riding about with bells on his horse, not even trying to hide at all. He is the one hunting the Nazgûl and not the other way around, this was made very clear.

Glorfindel has been my favourite character from the start. He got me from their first meeting because he gave the Hobbits a sense of safety, even though they and we perhaps do not yet fully appreciate who he was and what he was capable of. As we read through the rest of the books, and even beyond through The Silmarillion, The Fall of Gondolin, The Peoples of Middle-earth and all these other books that share his history, I only learned to love him all the more. Years later, having read all these other books, I still sometimes just sit in awe thinking back on this first encounter in this first book, in the Fellowship of the Ring, about how Frodo and his friends met this seemingly humble Elf, who in actuality was literally an Elf of legend. Yet apparently one would not think it, encountering Glorfindel on the road.

[rebelliousstories]

Due Back

Relationship: Bernard the Elf x Reader

Fandom: The Santa Clause

Request: No

Warnings: Fluff, Slight Angst

Word Count: 1,535

Main Masterlist: Here

The Santa Clause Masterlist: Here

Summary: For the past couple of years, Bernard gets ahead of his paperwork for the week of Thanksgiving, and takes a little vacation. No one knows where he goes, and he won’t tell anyone. No matter how convincing.

Consider Donating: Here

Today was the day! Bernard had a little extra pep in his step as he made his final round around the workshop floor. Everything was running just as smoothly as it should have been. His lists had been made, checked once then twice, and passed out so that everyone knew exactly what to do while he was away.

Normally, no one could pull Bernard away from the workshop during any time of year. And yet for some reason, for the last few years, something or someone had been doing just that. How else to explain Bernard’s actions during the final week of November? All of the elves had gotten used to it over the last several years, but it was still odd for them. They had quickly learned though that he was never going to tell them what he does in the week he is gone.

His boss, on the other hand, was not so easily pacified.

As soon as November 1st comes along, he notices a stark change in his head elf. Bernard was even more focused on getting everything on track. The never ending pile of paperwork that he had suddenly vanished into completed folders. Any and all specialty items were taken care of before he disappeared. But what was the strangest behavior the Santa noticed, was the smile that seemed to be permanently etched onto his head elf’s face.

Bernard was especially happy during this time of year, whereas it used to be his most stressful time. Not to be mistaken, it still was, but there was something in Bernard’s life now that took some of that stress off. He had one last folder to deliver to Santa, who took this as the perfect opportunity to grill him.

“Santa, I have the progress reports for the last week right here for you.” A decorative red and gold binder containing the entire week’s updates were placed upon the big man’s desk.

“Brilliant, Bernard. Well done. This wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you are about to go see whatever it is that can actually put a smile on your face is it?” Scott teased, watching the elf’s cheeks flush with a rosy glow.

“Just taking my week of vacation, sir,” he replied sheepishly. The older man, however, wanted to know exactly what was going on. Surprisingly, the whole “Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake” thing only applies to humans. Not elves.

“Come on. How long have we worked together now? What do you do when you’re away from the pole, Mr. Workaholic.”

“Sorry, Santa. That is a secret just for me to know. If there is nothing else, I’ll be on my way. Curtis is more than capable to step into my shoes for the week.” As fast as he could, so as to not allow Scott an in, Bernard left the office.

“Bernard,” called the man now stroking his beard thoughtfully, “whoever it is, keep her around.”

The elf stood there for a moment as his mouth gaped open and closed like a fish. Without a word to dignify with that comment with a response, Bernard turned on his heels and left the office for good this time. His bags were packed, and he was able to finally leave.

He took one of their newest reindeers as his transportation. No one batted an eye at Bernard saddling up Lumi for the journey ahead. The sweet girl had just finished her basic training to help pull Santa’s sleigh, but that was still weeks out. Bernard would return her in plenty of time.

Snow barely phased him anymore. Living in the North Pole his entire life, the elf was very used to the cold. So as he made his descent to the backyard of the home he was aiming for, the welcomed sight of a white covered ground greeted him. Just as he tied Lumi to one of the trees, a light flicked on inside. A smile broke free against his will, and Bernard made his way to the back door. His key slipped into the lock right as another went into the front door. The second he stepped inside, warmth spread through him.

“Bernard! You’re here,” and he was nearly knocked over by the weight oh someone tackling him in a hug.

“I’m here, my dear. I’ve missed you.” His arms wrapped around the woman, and he reveled in the feeling that spread through him.

There were few things that managed to warm him, but none like her hugs. Pulling back just a bit to see her face, Bernard found that the both of them were tracing over every feature of the other. She was another year older, with a new fine crinkle by her eyes, a new freckle that had not been there before. He knew that he looked the exact same, but he could not help it.

“Do you want to help me with dinner? I just need to make the sides and pop the rolls in.” She offered, not yet releasing herself from his hold.

“Of course. I’m starving, and I have been dreaming about your roast chicken. You actually know how to baste.”

Thus, the human and the elf settled back into a familiar routine of domesticity. She worried over the seasonings for their meal, while Bernard made sure nothing burned. He helped with plating their sides and rolls, and carried the chicken to the table, while she followed after with some more food.

They did not eat like this the entire time Bernard was here, but the first and last day was special. Tucking themselves into their chairs, the pair begun to dig into their meal. Some light conversation flowed between them, but nothing too deep. It was not until they had retired to the couch that the dialogue took a more serious turn.

Bernard stoked the flames of the fireplace before coming back to sit on the couch with his favorite person. While he sat upright against the back, she leaned over and snuggled into his side. Her head rested against his chest with his heartbeat beating underneath her ear.

“When do I have to give you back?” She turned just a little so that she was able to look up at her partner. They had never quite put a label on what they were, but both knew that they were in love with each other.

“November 30th. I don’t have to leave till late at night though.” Bernard’s fingers began to card through her hair from where she rested.

“Ah. Back in time for last minute preparations.” She mused, to which he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah…” but he did not sound excited about it. His hand stilled on top of her head. In fact, in the last few years, Bernard was increasingly less happy to go back.

“What’s up?” He sighed and stared into the flames ahead.

“What if I didn’t have to go back?”

It was out in the open now. The feeling that he had felt for some time was there for her to react to. And react she did. She sat up incredibly quick and barely missed hitting Bernard’s chin in the process. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth gaped open.

“What do you- what? Huh? What does that mean, B? You have to go back. You told me that elves can’t stay for long periods of time away from the pole.” She was utterly dumbfounded. Her flabbers were gasted.

“Well,” he tried to cut in and explain, “there is actually a way for elves to be away from the pole. It just hasn’t been done in centuries. But it requires us giving up our longevity and magic. In essence, we become human.”

She sat back on the other end of the couch, and did not speak. The longer she stayed quiet, the more nervous Bernard got. This was definitely not the reaction he was expecting. He messed with his hands and felt himself flush, and not because of the warm fire ahead.

“Is that something you’re thinking about?” Her question was spoken so softly, so quietly; it sounded almost angelic.

“Um, a bit. I was just thinking how nice it would be if I could stay here. With you.” He admitted, gazing down at his hands.

“Would you be happy?”

Bernard thought that question was ridiculous. Of course he would. Sure, he would miss the pole, but he wanted to be here. He needed to be here. Curtis was a promising protege and already adept at running the factory and all its runnings without him. Maybe it was time for him to move on. Bernard wanted to be selfish for once in long life.

“Yes.”

Her arms were thrown over him, and he returned the sentiment. Pulling her closer, he set her on his lap as he burrowed into her neck. She placed her cheek on top of his hat that covered his dark curls. They sat just like that for who knows how long. But while they did, Bernard made his choice right then and there.

This would be the last year that Bernard was going to be due back for Christmas.

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Hyunjin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14k words)

Author's note: Feel free to vent in my inbox once you finished reading it :)

LANA: In order to test how committed my guests are to the process, I call for help from my former retreat guests: Felix, Chris, and Avery. Their mission is to entice them to find out if they're capable of following the rules outside the retreat.

-

Everyone is going around exchanging hugs and cheek kisses while telling each other's names.

You only remember it now, the name of the girl, it's Avery and she looks like a Malibu Barbie with an Australian accent.

When it's your turn to hug Chris, you have to actively tell your brain to stay calm and not think about how you have a secret crush on him.

"Chris," he introduces himself, opening his arm for a friendly hug.

It's a good thing that he's not shirtless or else, you'd be drooling by now but those big biceps are quite distracting.

"Hi, Chris," you manage to sound coy saying it.

You catch a whiff of his perfume as you exchange a hug and Gosh, he smells amazing. You're staggering as you walk backward to be with everyone else.

"The three of you are Australians," Edie innocently says.

"We' are Australia's sexiest export since... ever," Felix jokingly says then breaks into laughter.

Even his laugh is so attractive, It's sonorous and infectious, inviting you to laugh along with him.

"We came back because we learned so much on the previous seasons that we came to pass the lesson on to you," Avery says, then she glances at the guys standing on each side of her, "Right, guys?"

Felix puts his hand against his waist and puts all of his weight to one side like he's striking a pose in a photo shoot.

"Well, yeah," he says with his nose scrunched, "but also we came here to show you guys how to have fun!"

Chris pops open the bottle of champagne on cue, sending the content spurting out of it and he hurriedly takes a chug to stop it from spilling.

It's unfair how Chris can easily make you feel the slightest bit hot and bothered, just standing there with that wine dripping down his chin. You lick your lips while imagining licking the wine on his veiny neck.

Realizing that you're in the presence of other people, you hurriedly snap yourself out of it.

"Wait, wait, it's not fair that there's three of us and five of them," Avery says while adorably crossing her arms in front of her.

Felix puts his arm around her and brightly smiles, "Don't worry, we'll make it even," he says.

Your head starts looking around the boat, anticipating something and perhaps, anyone's arrival based on what Felix said.

"Give a warm welcome to the two new arrivals!" Avery cheerily announces.

With Lana, it can't be just a boat party, you can tell that she threw this party for certain purposes other than to introduce the new arrivals.

It's wise that you keep cautious with whatever you're doing at this party. You don't want to mess with either Lana or the money, and you surely don't want to mess it up with Hyunjin.

The new arrivals are looking hot and heavy, ready to fuck everybody. The girl is a gorgeous blonde with big, blue eyes named Emile and the guy is a Brazilian man with a chest tattoo, Gustav.

With Chris tirelessly filling the glass and Felix distributing it to everyone, they make sure everyone holds a drink in their hands and is ready for a toast.

"Cheers!" Everyone says in unison, raising their champagne flutes in the air before taking a sip of it.

Things get crazy whenever alcohol is involved so to be safe, you moderately drink your wine and sip as little as possible.

"Okay now we each choose someone to do a body shot with," Felix suggests an icebreaker to fully kickstart the party.

Avery is the one who enthusiastically welcomed that idea and she starts looking for someone to do it with. The boys must be buzzing and whoever gets chosen, he's lucky as hell.

"You," Avery says, pointing in your direction.

You look to the side at Edouard and elbow his side to make him aware of this one-of-a-kind offer.

"No. You," Avery says, talking to you.

Aghast, you unconsciously point at yourself and ask her back to confirm, "Me?"

Avery laughs at the way you reacted, "Come here, my darling," she puts away her drink, then holds her hand out at you.

Half disoriented, you reach for her hand and she makes you sit on the wooden floor with colorful cushions strewn around for people to lay about.

"Now, lay down," she instructs you.

Somehow, you find yourself obeying her words and putting yourself in a compromising position. You rest your head on your pillow and try to stay calm even though everyone is looking at you.

Avery grabs a glass of shot in her hand and she puts all of her hair away on one shoulder, she smiles as she lifts the shot before dripping it onto your chest.

"Oh, my gosh!" You shakily gasp the second the liquid makes contact with your skin, making you shiver from the cold.

But that's the least of the things you should be surprised by. Avery then leans down while keeping her hair down on her shoulder and drinks the puddle of alcohol gathered on the valley of your breasts.

Avery lands a long lick down your front, her tongue feels slick and hot on your skin, making you grip the cushion and try so hard not to squeal.

She seems to enjoy doing it and everyone else can only watch it with envy in their eyes. The laugh she lets out as she lifts her head confirms it.

"Now that's how you start a party!" Edouard says.

Without having to look, you know you're flustered and your hands fly to cover your face, embarrassed. Also, you must admit it gets you a little aroused as well and the party has only started.

-

YOU: In the middle of the sea, on a boat with these sexy, horny people and plenty of booze... [exhales] That's the recipe for chaos.

-

Hyunjin's head is all over the place. He can't stay still and when he finally does, all sorts of thoughts go through his head and they're all not helping him relax.

And he can't help but wonder is this how you felt when he was going on that date with Saskia?

He'll take it as his karma then but he's not the only one feeling restless, the others who are in couples are going through the same things but have different ways of handling it.

Andy, however, is not taking it well. He's going through five stages of grief around the villa.

"When I went on that date with Edie she made it clear that she only wanted to be friends and that she wanted to connect with someone else," Andy croons while tugging his blond hair.

Hyunjin nods to let him know that he's listening to his rant but has nothing to respond to that.

"I think it'll be good for her to connect with someone else," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

That would be nice of him to think so because Hyunjin could never think that way, he wants you to be happy but God, he'd hate to lose you to someone else.

Andy plops onto the lounger next to him and roughly runs his hands through his hair.

"I've already detached myself from her and I feel bad for still wanting to be with her," he grumbles.

"We've all been there," Hyunjin says, trying to sympathize with him.

Hyunjin almost forgot about that part where Andy broke up with Edie. Even though they're no longer a couple now, you can just detach yourself from people but the feelings, they're pretty much still intact.

It's even harder in the villa because the person is there and you have to deal with it face to face.

God, Hyunjin hopes he doesn't need to go through that much pain.

-

HYUNJIN: [Breathing deeply]

-

The boat party is in full swing.

Felix is making sure everyone's glass is filled, Avery is floating around with her wide, bright smile and Chris is playing some party music on his small DJ set-up.

So far so good, no one has broken the rules yet but 'yet' is the keyword here, you get the feeling that it's only about time until someone caves in, and when that happens, it will trigger a chain reaction.

You decide to sit this one out and watch the party from the side, avoiding any potential risk that would lead you to break the rules.

You're quietly sipping your wine while sitting against the big cushion and enjoying the nice, warm sea breeze when the temptation comes over to you carrying a bottle of champagne.

It's hard not to smile whenever he's around and he's smiling at you.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Chris asks.

"Not at all," you reply, scooting a little to the side to make space for him.

"Let me refill it for you," he says, offering to fill your glass with more wine.

In return, you take the bottle from him and fill his glass for him, having a toast to finally have a sip together. He's sitting so close to you, that you can feel your arms brushing together from the slightest of movement.

He looks out at the view of the sun that is slowly sinking into the horizon and delightfully sighs. Then he turns his head at you and asks you something that you're not ready to answer.

"Would you kiss anyone here?"

Well, there is someone you would like to kiss but he's off-limits.

"Oh, I would love to but uh..." you break into a laugh as your eyes meet his.

Chris licks his lips after sipping his wine, "Are you worried about the rules?"

Not the main reason why but yeah, that's one of the reasons. You chuckle and answer, "I've spent a lot of money already."

He cracks a laugh and his dimples appear on his cheeks, "Been there, done that."

As someone who went through this before, you're sure he knows how it felt because there's no other reason why he laughed.

"So, tell me about this guy you've spent a lot of money with," he asks.

You contemplate for a moment how much can you tell but since he's someone from outside of this retreat and went through the same thing, maybe he can give you some insights.

"Well, he kind of messed up a while ago actually," you share with him.

"Ouch!" He exclaims.

"But I found myself still liking him despite all of that," you continue, sipping your wine in between sentences, "It's actually scared me because I think I've lost my head a little."

It's been gnawing inside you, how you doubt Hyunjin will be the right one for you as you get haunted by this fear that he'll make the same mistake again.

Chris holds his drink in the other hand and slightly turns his body to face you, "Maybe losing your head means you're maybe in your heart," he warmly tells you.

You smile hearing his words and you really wish they're true, you're having this doubt because you want this to be something genuine.

"That's what I hope," he adds with a smile.

"Thank you, Chris," you sincerely tell him, clinking your glass with him for another toast.

When you said it's only about time, well, the time is here. As you look around for another bottle of wine, you see Edie and the new guy going at each other's faces like animals in heat.

But that's the least of your worries. When you turn your head the other way, you see Edouard doing body shots on Saskia.

It's not only about the money now, but also loyalty and friendships. You drain your wine glass empty and gasp, "We're fucked!"

-

YOU: They forgot everything! They forgot about the purpose, forgot about Lana, forgot about everyone.

-

Hyunjin can hardly think of anything when you haven't returned on dinnertime. He barely eats his food, he tries shoving a few spoonfuls but has a hard time swallowing them down.

"I'm not hungry," he says, pushing the plate away from him.

"Your plate is still full," Frida says, her voice tinted with concern.

He reclines in his seat and sighs, "I'm too tense."

"I know how you feel," Vic says as she's also waiting for Edouard to return.

Andy pats his shoulder and with a mouth full of food says, "At least you're not worrying someone who doesn't want to be with you."

Well, that's a way to look at the brighter side of things.

The longer you're away from him, the more he worries and his worries affect other people in the vicinity as well. However, there's one person in particular who is having fun in this situation.

"If Edouard kissed someone, would you be pissed?" Diego asks Vic who's sitting cross-legged on the single sofa on the terrace.

"Depends on who he did it with," she answers while picking at her nails.

"If he kissed Saskia, would you be pissed?"

"Very," she answers without a beat.

That gets Hyunjin more alerted, because what if you kissed someone? You know, like out of curiosity? Speaking of experience, he almost did it once with Saskia.

"Do you think they might do something?" Hyunjin nervously asks.

"What do you think?" Diego tosses the question at Vic.

"If I know him like I think I do, I think he won't kiss anyone," she diplomatically answers.

Hyunjin doesn't know how she's doing it but he must admire Vic's patience and calmness in handling this.

"They won't do anything," Andy says, perhaps still stuck in the denial phase.

"If I were with someone here and I went there, and people started kissing each other, I'd probably do it," Diego is here to fuel more gas into the fire.

Frida grabs him by the knee and makes him listen to her, "It is something that I won't do to you because not only it would affect us, but also my friendship with her."

That seems to work on putting some sense into Diego and makes him stop talking altogether.

Hyunjin always thinks highly of you, he knows you wouldn't throw away what the two of you have built together, and that gets him a little hopeful.

"I bet my ass they're doing stuff," Vic remarks out of the blue.

Hyunjin doesn't expect this change of mood, she seems to have reached her limit and can't keep her composure anymore.

Andy sighs and leans back on the sofa, playing with the cushion on his lap, twirling it in the air a couple of times.

"There's a lot at stake today. Relationships, friendships, the house, the money..." he pauses to turn his head to the side to look at Vic, "...Vic's ass."

Everyone laughs at that and it helps to lighten up the mood, the only one who doesn't take it well is Vic.

"Fuck you!" She curses while laughing, hurling a cushion at Andy.

-

HYUNJIN: I hope for the best. But I also expect for the worst [blows air]

-

"Okay, honestly, but there is one person I'd like to kiss here," you suddenly share.

That gets Chris' eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Yeah. Who is it?"

You look him right in the eyes and answer, "I'm looking right at him."

He closes his eyes and grins, from the way his ear reddening you can tell he gets shy from what you said which is why you said that in the first place. That, and because of alcohol.

"But I know you're engaged and all," you quickly add.

He grins wider, and he looks so cute and shy like that, if he weren't off-limits, your head would definitely take a hard turn.

"I may be bad but I'm not that bad," you further explain, giggling along with him.

"So, not because of the guy you broke rules with?"

That catches you off guard and you laugh in embarrassment, "Well, yeah, that too."

"In that order?" He asks again, bumping his shoulder against you.

"Exactly in that order. You then him," you jokingly say.

This time, his cheeks get all red and his dimples sunken deeper into his cheeks as he keeps grinning.

"Guys, let's swim!" Felix shouts at both of you.

To be honest, you feel comfortable sharing the space with Chris and want to stay in it a bit longer. You shake your head and kindly refuse his offer.

"No, I'm good," you tell him.

The screams and squeals of the girls jumping into the water startle you, more so, because they ditch their bikinis.

"Oh, come on!" Felix grumbles, coming over to you and taking you by the hand.

"You're coming too," he shouts at Chris.

He's forcing you to get up and join him, taking you by the end of the edge of the deck. Since everyone is going in anyway, you have no option but to follow suit but decide to keep your bikini on.

"Wait, wait, I have to take this..." you tell him, untying the outerwear you're wearing.

"I'll help you," Chris says, helping you to take it off of you.

You're shivering as his hands brush the skin on your back but it's nothing compared to when he's taking his top off. You don't think this moment will come but here you are, looking at his body in its glory with the golden rays of the sun hitting him just right.

Impatient, Felix gets ahead and jumps into the sea while shouting some gibberish words out loud.

"Do it together, yeah?" He offers.

"Yeah, okay," you nervous answers.

He holds his hand out at you and you take it without hesitating, he counts from three, and on one, you both jump into the water together.

Everyone is having fun, you see Pablo is going at it with the new girl and Edie is simply having the time of her life. She squeal when she finally acknowledges your presence, waddling her way to you and clinging to you.

"Did you see me kissing him?" she whines,

"You mean sucking his soul out?" You joke.

"I didn't know how many times I kissed him," she whines again, putting her hands around you.

"Don't worry. Lana will know," you tell her.

For this once, you don't want to think of the money. You let yourself enjoy it, this moment and the company you're with, and also the beautiful view of the sunset.

-

YOU: I must admit, I had a lot of fun. I really needed that party.

-

Everyone is already waiting in the cabana for your return from the boat party.

You don't know why you're nervous, maybe it's coming from knowing everything that happened at the boat party and you came back with your hair and bikini damp from swimming.

Since there's no space left, you take the remaining spot that is on the far end of the sofa, sitting far away from Hyunjin.

Lana chimes in not long after everyone has settled down.

"Welcome back," She greets everyone who just came back from the boat party, "And welcome to the two new arrivals."

No one seems to realize the new additions to the retreat until Lana mentions them.

"Thank you, Lana," Emilie says with a smile.

"To test your growth, I prepared a party on a boat with the illustrious presence of some of my former retreat guests: Felix, Avery, and Chris," Lana informs.

Frida reacts with a loud gasp, "Really?"

"Yeah. It was so nice to meet them," Edie answers.

"You had no idea. It was awesome," Saskia adds, making her more envious.

"Damn!" Andy quietly curses next to Hyunjin.

Which makes you glance at Hyunjin and he seems a little tense, his jaws are all clenched yet it makes him more attractive.

"As soon as you left for the party, your friends had to choose whether or not to bet on your loyalty to the principles of the retreat."

A scoff slips out of you because your guess is right, you're not new to Lana's hidden agenda, the boat party was a test and you may not broken any rules but you failed nonetheless.

"We can double the prize money you know," Diego says, "All you had to do was to not break any rules."

"Oh, no..." Saskia cringes.

"What did you bet?" You ask, feeling a little anxious if they choose to bet all of the money.

"We bet to put our trust in you," Andy answers.

And that's where you failed, you could have prevented anyone from breaking the rules but you let them happen.

-

YOU: I never thought that they would bet double, that we weren't going to do anything.

-

Hyunjin is nervous, anxious even but when he finally sees you coming, he feels so relieved. Now that you're back, a new question pops in his head: did you break any rules?

His faith wavers a little as he notices that your bikini is damp and so is your hair, and you sit on the far end of the sofa. He doesn't even dare to ask and waits for someone else to do it for him.

"It's a good time to tell us if you broke any rules," Andy says, taking the role to ask the big question.

Edie's hand raised in the air and the sheer smile on Andy's face falters, "I broke the rules. I kissed Gustav," she admits right away.

"We kissed, yes," the new guy, Gustav, confirms with a sly grin.

"I thought the rules didn't apply outside the retreat," Edie innocently says in an effort to defend her rule break.

"Felix and Chris, and uh... Avery, they were encouraging us to break rules, saying that Lana wasn't there," Saskia delivers a weak argument.

Hyunjin is getting more tense with every detail of the boat party getting exposed in this heated argument.

"We held back at first," Edie calmly remarks.

"But you did give in," Remy says, easily diminishing her remark.

"I regret to inform you that many rule breaks were detected," Lana spoils another detail.

"I thought it was only the two of you," Marie says, pointing at Edie and Gustav, "Was there someone else?"

Hyunjin looks around and deeply hopes that he doesn't see your hand raised in the air, he sees Pablo's hand instead.

"Emilie and I kissed," he admits a little too late.

"They threw away kisses," Andy sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.

Pablo tries to throw the blame back at Edie, "She kissed a lot."

"Everyone did body shots," Edie reveals another detail and her hand flies in your direction.

"I only did one body shot," you defend yourself, "And I don't think that counts."

Hyunjin is fine with body shots, he has done it a couple of times during parties but his concern is who you did it with.

"We also went skinny dipping," Edouard reveals another thing.

And now skinny dipping? He's so wrong to think that you won't do anything, he slumps in his seat, disappointed.

Frida groans out loud, also slumping in her seat.

"Lana, give us the bill!" Diego says, no longer enjoying this.

"Fuck! It's going to be bad, it's double," Andy says in distress.

It takes Lana a moment to calculate the rule breaks and finally comes up with the final result, "All of these rule breaks have cost the group $72,000."

A minute passes in eerie silence as everyone tries to process how much money have lost at that boat party. There were only five people invited and yet they were capable of spending that much money.

"It must have been awesome being there," Marie sneers with a scowl.

"Of course it was," Pablo unapologetically says, being insensitive to his surroundings.

"The prize fund now stands at $60,000," Lana updates the current prize fund.

There's not much money left and with the new guest, he can't guarantee that it'll stay on that amount for long.

"You have the opportunity to develop and learn to connect. Don't take the process for granted," Lana concludes the session with a warning.

-

HYUNJIN: We are paying the price for something that wasn't our fault. All I can do is laugh.

-

It's close to bedtime and you head straight to the dressing room to take a quick shower and put on a pair of comfortable clothes of camisole and white shorts.

You're not purposely avoiding Hyunjin because at some point you'll have to talk to him, you merely give yourself and him some time to process what happened at the cabana earlier.

As you're doing your skincare routine, you see him entering the dressing room with an apparent scowl on his face and you take this as a cue to talk to him.

As he walks past your chair, you grab him by the hand and look up at him, "Hey, let's talk."

He rather seems reluctant to your invite but you don't want to wait anymore, it's a great time to have a talk since the two of you are alone in the dressing room.

You pat the chair next to you where Edie usually sits, "Come, sit here!"

He obeys you without saying anything, sitting facing you and letting you hold his hand on his lap. You have told everything about the boat party but you know you have to assure him that there's nothing else happened other than that.

"What happened at the boat party, I've already said everything that I did. I only did a body shot and nothing else," you tell him, keeping your tone soft and calm.

He gets quiet for a moment and it's his turn to speak so you wait for him to say anything, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.

He slightly slumps on the chair, sending his long legs spreading open in front of you and you know it's not the time for it but you feel tempted to tease him.

"We were all talking about all of you and the things you probably do there," he says.

You let go of his hand and rest your hand on his thigh all the while your eyes are looking at him, "Yeah?"

"I said if it were me, I wouldn't do that because one, out of respect for you and what we have."

Based on experience, you doubt that his act would match his words but you give him the chance to finish his talk.

"Two, for the group," he continues.

He makes it sound like you are this selfish person who does things as she pleases and you don't care about him at all when in fact, you did nothing on that boat party except for that one bodyshot with Avery.

"It wasn't intentional, someone chose to do it with me," you tell him the reason why you did it, not because you wanted to.

"I'm just—" he abruptly stops talking as if he has a change of mind in the middle of a sentence.

"I know what I feel for you and it's just that I can't act like that I'm okay with what you did," he explains.

You retract your hand off of him and grip the edge of your chair, "I told you, I only did one body shot and nothing else."

"You wouldn't like it if I did it," he hastily replies, almost losing himself there as he gives you an intense glare.

You hate to sleep without resolving it but it's obvious that he's angry so it's best to give him time to cool down and you can talk it all out with clear heads the next day.

-

YOU: He almost kissed another girl on a date and what makes him think that he won't do anything at that boat party? [Scoffs]

-

It's when you wake up that you realize that some people were switching beds last night.

Vic is sleeping with Marie while Edouard sleeps with Andy so you guess she already knew about what happened between Edouard and Saskia. At least, she knew it from Edouard himself and not from someone else.

As for you, you're not going into the talk yet. You still cuddle him and give him a morning kiss, you treat him like usual to let him know that nothing changed between you and him. This is just another thing you need to overcome together and deep down, you know you will.

The morning continues with a mumbling mess that is Vic at the breakfast table.

"I'm only going to try again if he can actually win me over," she says, stirring the scrambled egg on her plate with a fork.

You don't have the energy to deal with drama first thing in the morning so you decide not to meddle and risk saying things that upset her more.

"Then let him win you over," Marie from two chairs over tells her.

"I don't think he understands that he really needs to do the work to win me back," Vic grumbles again, dropping her fork onto her plate.

"So tell him," Marie coyly responds.

Vic sighs and runs her hands through his dark long hair, "But I know I'm never going to work things out with Saskia."

You know it's better not to stay away from it but you can't help it when your friends are going against each other, especially over a boy.

You put down your cutlery and look at Vic, "Vic, I think that you're a grown woman, and whether you want to or not, you should work things out with her."

She subtly rolls her eyes in response, not taking your words when it's possible to do so if one of them is open to reconciliation.

"You could figure this out together," you assure her.

"I am not going to talk to this girl. If she wants to talk to me which she won't then I'll talk to her. But she won't," Vic says with her nostrils flaring in anger.

It's obvious that Vic is not open to reconciliation, moreover, it's tricky considering that she has stubbornness in her. Then there's nothing left to do but tell her which side you're taking and it's neither.

"I just want you to understand that I love you and I also like talking to her. I don't want you to think that I'm two-faced," you carefully explain not avoid getting your words twisted.

"I just want everything to be fine because I like you both a lot," you add.

In the afternoon, Lana called everyone to the cabana as usual and she prepared something for everyone there. There's a TV with the word 'Cinelana' on the screen.

"Cinelana?" Edie says in genuine confusion.

Marie puts all of her hair to the side before taking a seat, "Will it be...?" She wildly guessed with a raised eyebrow.

Not long after everyone has taken their seats, the melodic chime comes and the cone lights up to signify Lana's arrival.

"Hello, everyone."

"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies in unison.

"How are you?" Lana asks.

"Poor," Frida shortly replies.

"Broke and scared," Saskia answers.

To be honest, you feel more scared than broke. Maybe it's coming from knowing that you didn't contribute to that money deduction.

"From what I can see from your behavior, some forms of physical contact can be more sexual than those prohibited at the retreat," Lana says.

You have a feeling that she's about to expose everyone with this Cinelana and that's what you're scared of.

"But it's better to show than tell."

-

YOU: I have no problem showing everything that happened. Showing the thing I did is fine by me. But when it comes to the others, I don't know.

-

"I want you to see yourselves through my eyes."

The ones who went to the boat party seem to be nervous and everyone pretty much knows what Lana is about to show. Hyunjin can only hope that he doesn't see what he doesn't want to see.

"What is she going to show?" Diego curiously asks.

"Is there popcorn?" Marie casually asks.

"May the first session of Cinelana begin," Lana announces.

Cinelana starts with them having a big toast and from there, things escalate quickly, everyone reacts with a lot of gasps and squeals, cheering when they catch someone doing the rule break.

Hyunjin's heart skips a beat when you come on the screen, a girl pours a drink onto your chest and proceeds to drink it straight from it. He sees that you cover your face with your hands, looking flustered.

He feels a little jealous but not the kind that makes him angry, It's the kind that makes him envy. It's even crazier that he doesn't which one he should be more jealous of, the girl who did the body shot on you or you.

"Calm down. This is just the beginning," you tell everyone.

It suddenly turns quiet when the footage of Saskia and Edouard doing body shots on each other. Hyunjin can't help but look to the side, at Vic who looks uncomfortable and displeased with what she's seeing.

Thankfully, the attention is shifted to Edie who's devouring the new guy with ferocious kisses that get everyone hysterically screaming.

"Wow. Edie!" Diego clicks his tongue at her.

The movie ends with them going into the sea naked and Hyunjin is relieved to see that you told the truth to him, in fact, he should be proud that you stick to the principles even though everyone around you doing the opposite.

"And that's why we're poor," Marie comments as the screen turns dark.

Lana chimes once more, "What do you think about the movie?"

"I liked it, Lana," Pablo jokingly says.

"Do you think this behavior is fair to the group? Would anyone act differently?" Lana asks.

That seems to make everyone turn quiet again, offending the ones who went to the boat party. He turns to the side and sees that you open your mouth to speak.

"For me personally, when I got on that boat, that's when it stopped making sense to me. I realize that I would much rather be here than be there," you say.

You turn your head at him and smile, an unexpected gesture that makes him feel touched. All of a sudden, he doesn't know why he's mad in the first place, you've told him the truth and that should be enough for him.

"I think I'd have acted differently if I knew how much it would affect some people here," Edouard adds with a defeated look on his face.

"Now is the time to think about how are you going to move forward. I really hope you try harder," Lana says.

In other words, Lana demands everyone to do better from this moment on. Hyunjin figures that he should do better too in building this connection with you, he doubted you when he should have trusted you just like you trust him.

"That's all for today," Lana concludes the session.

Now is the time to pick up the conversation from last night. He takes you to the firepit to get some privacy so the two of you can talk comfortably.

"So, what do you think?" You ask, folding your legs on the sofa facing him.

Hyunjin cracks a smile and answers, "I can't even be mad at that. That was so hot."

You burst out laughing and playfully hit his chest, he catches your hand to stop you, pulling you onto his lap. He looks up at you and brushes your hair to the side, "I think I was made because you were gone the whole day," he honestly admits.

A smile rises on your face, "You missed me?"

"So much," he shamelessly answers.

"You're so into me, mmh?" You ask, putting your forehead against his.

"I'm so into you," he shortly replies, ignoring how stupid he sounded.

"Me too," you tell him with your hand cupping his jaw, "I'm so into you."

It's one of those moments that Hyunjin wishes he could freely kiss you just to prove his words to you with actions and it stresses him that he can't do that.

As if you read his mind, you land a soft kiss on his nose to compensate for not being able to kiss his lips and smile when you pull away. It doesn't quite satisfy his needs but it's enough to make his heart pitter-pattering inside his chest.

"We're even now," he jokingly says.

You hit his chest again a little harder this time, "Excuse me? This was different!" You strongly disagree.

He laughs and pulls you closer, what he did that time with Saskia is far worse than someone doing a body shot on you. He nods and immediately agrees with you.

"Okay, okay, but you owe me a body shot," he says, trying to get something out of it.

"That's fair," you agree to it.

-

HYUNJIN: My honest reaction? I liked the movie. It's better than I thought [chuckles]

-

The drama between Vic, Edouard, and Saskia continues onto the next day.

It gets even messier when the girls are doing makeup in the dressing room, it was a nice and quiet afternoon until Vic starts a fight, unprovoked.

"Do you think Edouard was hitting on her?" She asks you, fully aware that Saskia is there on the opposite side of the vanity table, curling her hair in peace.

Hearing that she is being indirectly addressed, Saskia puts down her curling iron and looks at Vic.

"No, he wasn't hitting on me, Vic. It's not like that," she tells him.

Vic acts nonchalantly, she continues putting foundation on her face as she talks, "Then what was it like?"

"He wasn't hitting on me and I wasn't hitting on him either," Saskia remarks.

"If you were hitting on him, then I have a problem with that," Vic argues more instead of dropping the conversation there.

"You think I hit on him? For God's sake, Victoria, don't be silly!" Saskia says with a sarcastic scoff.

The fact that Saskia addresses Vic by her full name only means that she has struck her nerves.

"No, I mean it," Vic keeps arguing.

You hate to get caught in the middle of the conflict so does everyone else on the vanity table but to meddle in is not the best option either.

'Yeah, keep believing that men are so honest. Men always talk their way out of things and the woman is the slut, the woman is the whore," Saskia says, still managing to curl her hair despite being in the middle of an argument.

Vic roughly puts down her makeup brush onto the table with a clang, "But if you led him on—"

Saskia cuts her off to defend herself, "Everyone was drinking, and when you drink—"

And Vic cuts her off midsentence in return, "You led him to believe you wanted him."

Saskia scoffs again and stops doing things altogether, "Oh, so you mean I can't drink? I can't get excited. I can't have fun at a party?"

You grab Vic's hand to stop her from keeping going and escalate things further, filling the room with palpable animosity. You don't want to be seen as taking anyone's side but no one is trying to stop them from coming at each other and turning it into a whole fight.

Looking around for help, you have no one to turn to but the cone perched on the shelf in the dressing room. Before you can ask for help, she chimes in.

Things are getting out of hand that Lana has to intervene, she gathers the three in the bedroom to talk and hopefully, they get to work it out together.

Since there's a party tonight, you continue doing your makeup with the rest of the girls while hoping for the best outcome for the three of them.

You still feel a little tense from being caught in the middle of conflict and Hyunjin seems to notice it. He comes from behind you, putting all of your hair away to the side so he can kiss your neck.

With his hand wrapped around your neck to keep you still, he gently sucking on the skin. You're squealing as he keeps placing ticklish kisses along your shoulder blade.

"Oh, I'm jealous," says the new girl, Emilie.

Somehow, it feels good to know that your relationship is making someone jealous. Hyunjin places another kiss on your cheek before leaving for the bathroom.

"Let's be a throuple," Emilie says as she sits on Saskia's chair.

"A sincere relationship with three people," she explains as if you don't know what it means.

You almost broke up with him when you knew he almost kissed another girl and what makes her think that you'll be okay sharing Hyunjin with her? You give her a pass because she's new so you awkwardly chuckle in response.

-

YOU: Back off, girl. I'm not into this throuple business.

-

It's a real party when everyone is getting along well and having fun.

The talk seems to be a success with Vic looking so much better, she's back to her chipper mood and she's dancing with Edouard. On the other hand, you sense that things between her and Saskia are not doing that well but at least, they're staying civil to each other now.

Putting drama aside, you and Hyunjin are doing better than ever. You trust each other more now and your connection is getting stronger, the next plan is to show true growth in your relationship to earn a green light.

Hyunjin hoists you against his body until your feet are off the ground, you hurriedly cling to him by putting your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist.

"Is this how we're going to do it?" You jokingly ask with a sly grin on your face and your hand massages the nape of his neck.

"In front of everybody? Yeah, that's the idea," he playfully responds.

The fun time has to end with Lana being a party pooper as usual. Everyone knows what to do when the chime comes, heading to the cabana like animals about to get slaughtered. Considering that she crashed the party, she'd better have some good news for the group.

"Hi, Lana. Do you have another movie?" Diego jokingly asks.

"Do you want her to show yours?" Edie pokes fun at him.

Lana skips the casual greeting and goes straight into the talk, you hate whenever that happens because it means she's not pleased with something. But everyone has been behaving well, especially after that huge blow to the prize money at the boat party.

"I see how you talk a lot about finding a connection but I also see that some of you do little about it," Lana says.

There's still hope that this going to turn out well and you cling to that hope.

"Connecting is not necessarily trying to be a couple, but opening up to the process and being aware that mistakes are part of any learning process."

Everyone stays quiet, no one is saying anything but intently listening to what Lana says to know where this talk leads.

"Getting it wrong is one thing. Giving up on the process is another. And that can no longer continue to happen here on my retreat."

"Y-yeah?" Edie stammers, sensing that Lana is onto something, something unpleasant.

"I detected some of you have a lack of interest in new connections. Therefore I need to continue my work here without the presence of some people."

It's only a minute ago you thought about how you need to show growth in your relationship and now you're worried that you haven't done enough. Your hand immediately grabs Hyunjin's as you close your eyes, anxious.

"Two of you must leave the retreat tonight," Lana announces.

-

YOU: And we thought we'd get good news [exhales]

-

The tension in the room heightens as Lana is about to announce the two people being sent home tonight.

Hyunjin is nervous and so is everyone because, at this point, it could be anyone. Lana sees everything and he admits that he hasn't shown enough progress which puts him at risk of leaving the retreat.

"One of you has spoken many times about being a closed-off person, and couldn't see how the retreat would change that," Lana explains the reason why she chose this person.

Hyunjin can think of someone who fits that description, he turns his head to the side where Marie is sitting and she kind of guesses who it is as well.

"The second person I'm eliminating tried opening up to the process at first but it seems that they lost focus on the purpose of the retreat," Lana gives another explanation on the reason why she sent home the second person.

For this one, Hyunjin can't tell who it is but he prays inside that it's not him. He hopes that Lana gives him so more time to continue building this connection with you.

"Therefore, their stay at this retreat has come to an end."

He slowly inhales air and quietly lets it out while continuously wishing that Lana would not call his name.

"Exiting the retreat tonight are..."

He sees no one is feeling safe either because no one wants to go home yet.

"...Pablo and Marie."

He feels relieved that it's not him but it doesn't make him feel good either knowing that someone else has to go. He gets up from his seat to give Pablo and Marie a farewell hug for he found friendship in them.

"Pablo and Marie, it's time for you to leave the retreat," Lana orders.

Everyone standing up to send them off with a wave goodbye and sending well wishes their way.

Tonight started fun and it turned into the opposite in a flip of a switch, but that's life, we never know what's going to happen next.

What Hyunjin knows is that he's grateful that he's still here. He rests his head on your neck as the two of you lie on the bed still dressed in your party costumes, he puts his arm across your chest and pulls you close.

"I'm happy we still have each other," he softly whispers to you.

You endearingly brush his head and place a sweet peck on his forehead, "Me too, baby."

Lana has given him more time in the retreat when it could have been him going home tonight and for that, he feels grateful because he's not ready to go, he can't even imagine himself leaving you.

-

HYUNJIN: It's been hard, but at the same time, I... understand the situation.

-

This morning is the same as like other morning in the retreat.

The lights are on as a wake-up call for everyone at the same time every day. You wake up and see Hyunjin the moment you open your eyes, you give him a morning kiss on the cheek.

You run your hand through his hair and softly greet him, "Morning, baby."

He smiles in response and mumbles, "Morning."

He takes your hand, puts it around him, and leans in to make a trail of kisses on your inner arm, continuing it to your shoulder and neck.

"Morning, fam!" Edie cheerfully greets everyone in the room who is still stuck in their beds.

"It's crazy that sometimes I can see this mole of yours and sometimes I don't," you say in bewilderment as your index finger poked the faint mole under his left eye.

He closes his eyes and blissfully smiles at you, "Want to hear something crazier?"

"Yeah. What?"

"You're getting sexier and sexier every day," he answers while squeezing the flesh on your waist.

"Ouch!" You yelp in pain but that only encourages him to tighten his hold around you.

It's a peaceful morning until someone recognizes what is missing in this room.

"Wait, where's Lana?" Frida asks.

You scramble to turn on the bed to see the cone is missing from its usual place, she usually sits prettily on the small round table in the corner of the room but she's not there.

"Shit! Lana's gone," Edie says, her mouth stays open.

You exchange a glance with Hyunjin but he's also befuddled with Lana's sudden disappearance, well, a staff probably took the cone away while we were asleep but there must be a reason they're doing it.

"We're always in a throuple with her so it's weird Lana is not here when we wake up," Saskia says while cuddling with Remy on their bed.

"She's out on a date with Siri," Andy jokingly says with a satisfied laugh.

"Maybe Lana prepared breakfast for us," Diego wildly guesses, "she's in the kitchen being Lana Ramsey."

Everyone laughs at that one but it starts to get serious when everyone is getting their breakfast and Lana is not there, Andy goes to check the cabana just in case someone misplaced her.

"She's not there either," Andy returns with an answer.

"Do we have to find her?" Gustav confoundedly asks, not knowing what to do since he's still new in this retreat.

"Just don't make us dig sand to find her, please?" Edie grumbles, getting flashbacks from that first day we arrived at the villa.

"Do you think Lana's disappearance is good or bad for us?" Edouard asks, curious about what everyone thinks of it.

"Maybe she needs some time alone, guys," Saskia coyly says with a glass of orange juice in her hand.

Everyone comes up with various theories about Lana's disappearance and they react differently to it, some are nervous, a few are excited and the rest are a mix of both.

"Oh no, she's not here either," Emilie whines as she looks around searching for the cone in the dressing room.

"Maybe she's tired of us?" Frida coyly says, plopping onto her usual seat at the vanity table.

Vic hands you a bottle of sunspray and turns her back to you, "As long as she doesn't take the money with her, I'm cool," she says.

You turn on your chair to help her spray her backside evenly and make sure you don't miss a spot, you've been doing a very good job at it considering that her skin remains pale while everyone else has gotten tan lines.

"I think Lana is watching us from afar you know when you leave kids by themselves to see if they're going to misbehave or not?" Saskia comes up with another theory.

Her theory is the most plausible one, it's Lana we're talking about, just because she isn't there doesn't mean she's not watching. She wasn't there during the boat party yet she knew everything that happened.

"She probably sitting in the control room laughing at us right now," Edie jokes.

However, the scariest part of this is not the disappearance but what will happen with Lana not around to keep everyone's behavior?

-

YOU: This can't be good. She's just gone like that?

-

Wait, is everything allowed now?

With Lana disappearing this can only mean that the rules no longer exist as well and that gets Hyunjin excited. He's been good all these times so he thinks he deserves, at least, a little something for his good behavior.

"Lana is gone. The rules are off," Hyunjin mutters as he styles his hair next to Diego in the bathroom.

Diego chuckles and sprays some hairspray into his hair, "I don't know, man, I think that's a bad idea," he disagrees with him.

"Why don't we kiss to test the water?" Hyunjin boldly suggests.

Diego shoves him to the side in reaction to his crazy idea, he gets it that he's been careful with Frida ever since they got the green light. He then leaves the bathroom only for Edouard to come and take his spot.

"Lana's gone. What does that mean?"

Hyunjin's question is not merely a question, it's a test to find out which side Edouard is on: the side that wants to break the rules or the other side that thinks Lana is still watching.

"There's no rule, bro. Know what I mean?" Edouard says with a devilish grin as he combs his hair to the back.

This is the energy that Hyunjin seeks from someone and he feels more confident now knowing he's sharing the same brainwave with someone in this retreat, an accomplice to his mischief.

"Bro, I'm definitely breaking the rules tonight," Hyunjin boldly remarks with a wild, wide grin.

"Been holding it in for so long," Edouard says in continuation of Hyunjin's remark.

"This is going to be a mad night!" Hyunjin concludes with a wicked grin on his face. He raises both hands in the air at Edouard and claps their hands together for double high fives.

Tonight, Hyunjin wants to do a lot of things with you and he'll make sure that it's going to happen.

-

HYUNJIN: My plan for tonight is to give her the best night of her life [smirks]

-

"As soon as I found out Lana's gone, everything I learned from the retreat has gone out of the window," Vic openly admits.

The dressing room is buzzing and the girls are exceptionally energized tonight, maybe it's the fact that the cock-blocker is nowhere in sight. Vic's words are true, it feels like everyone is back to their default settings and forgot about the purpose of the retreat.

"Okay, but out of all of the boys, who is most likely to break the rules tonight?" Emilie curiously asks while swinging her mascara wand in the air.

"Pfft... I hope it's Edouard," Vic mumbles.

Edie smacks her lips together then places her hand on your forehand, "To be honest, I think it's Hyunjin," she says, sticking her face at you.

"Oh, yeah," Saskia agrees with an exclamation mark drawn on her face.

Frida chuckles and glares at you, "You better be satisfied tonight 'cause if you ain't, girl..."

"You'll be satisfied tonight," Edie teases you with a sing-song tone while shaking your shoulders.

Their assumption is only making you nervous because of how it comes close to the truth. Hyunjin is and has been ogling at you. Not that he never ogled at you before, he does it more often today and it's not hard to read his mind when he's acting like that the whole day.

Hyunjin chooses the firepit to spend some alone time with you, he makes you sit on his lap even though the sofa could fit seven people. You don't have to second guess everything, you know exactly what he's trying to do.

"Are you alright?" He asks, splaying the hand resting on the small of your back.

"I'm feeling good, babe," you reply with a convincing smile and hope it's enough to hide how nervous you are inside.

His other hand rubs down your thigh and plays with the hem of your skirt, all the while he's putting on this gaze that is soft yet intense and lustful.

"You look very, very cute," he compliments.

He touches the strap of your top and then your hair, "Cute dress, cute smile, cute everything."

Wow! He really is trying hard to win you over and put that sweet mouth to use, and you need to toughen up more.

"Thanks. You look gorgeous," you compliment back.

Hyunjin is wearing a plain white shirts and leaves the top three buttons open, exposing his firm chest muscles and soft skin, inviting you to touch.

Instead of giving in to your intrusive thoughts, you start buttoning his shirts.

"Why are you buttoning up my shirts?" He asks while chuckling.

"So you don't get cold," you simply answer with a suppressed laugh.

He ends up unbuttoning them again and parts the opening of his shirt wider to entice you more. You look away to keep your composure and look back at him when get yourself under control.

But Hyunjin steps up his game, he mixes his sweet words with some physical touches, weakening your defense system with each passing second.

He brushes your hair to the side and holds it there, "You know I never thought I'd meet somebody like you. You're such a lovely person," he mutters to you.

You reach for his hand and put it down, you're holding it on your lap after.

"That's very sweet of you," you reply with a smile.

He brings your hand to his mouth and then places a soft kiss on your knuckles, reminding you of how plush his lips are.

If this keeps going, you don't know how long you can restrain yourself.

-

YOU: I'm not sure if Lana's testing us, but I'm going to try really hard to not break the rules.

-

Hyunjin knows which side you're in.

You don't want to break rules while Hyunjin is doing exactly the opposite of that. He can see your defense is up, you're a little rigid, you're being cautious with everything you do, and trying so hard not to fall to his charms.

It's a good thing that Hyunjin has a lot of charms and a strong will to crack your defense. He did it once, he just needs to do it again, except that he needs to do it better this time.

He swipes his thumb across your lips and does it carefully to not smudge your lipstick.

"I miss kissing you," he says in his low, sultry voice, "I want to feel those soft lips again."

You nervously chuckle and slip your hand into the hair on the back of his head, "We've known each other better and I don't think we need to put pressure on ourselves to do anything," you tell him.

Hyunjin drops his other hand to your leg, resting it on the back of your thigh and lightly rubbing the skin with his thumb.

"We could do something," he says with a low laugh, "We can break the rules tonight. Like... why waste the opportunity?"

You chuckle again, tilting your head to the side, away from him to put a safe space between you and him. But, he only needs to close that safe space so he leans in.

"A little kiss, come on," he sweetly whispers.

You cup his jaw and fondly smile at him, "I'm rather suspicious that this is actually a test," you say.

He playfully pinches the skin on the back of your thigh and seductively smiles, "Just a bit of fun. No one will find out," he assures you.

He gets a move on by planting kisses on your neck, fluttering little kisses that he's sure make you tingling inside. He puts his hand on the nape of your neck so he can angle your head as he pleases.

He tilts your head to the side and presses his mouth to your ear, "You're so special to me."

He notices that you're slowly lowering your guard down, your eyes are fluttering shut and your hand helplessly gripping the front of his shirt. All it takes is a bit more of his charm.

"You're my special, special, special," he places a kiss along your jaw every time he repeats that one word.

"Special girl," he murmurs for the last time and then he crashes his lips against you

There is no way you will say no to his kiss, not when he kisses you so passionately, lathering your lips with his, soft on soft, slowly and tenderly.

He pries open your mouth with his tongue to taste you more, he uses his teeth to gently bite your lips and puts his hand in the right place to gain access to deepen the kiss.

You break the kiss first and immediately gasp for air, the next thing you do is wipe the lipstick mark around his mouth.

"Does the color look good on me?" He playfully asks.

"Yeah," you shortly reply.

"Put some more then," he teases.

This is only the first rule break of many and it's already a success.

-

HYUNJIN: Told you, Hwang Hyunjin always gets what he wants [nonchalantly shrugs]

-

Now that he's already got what he wants, you hope it's enough for him.

Honestly, you didn't know how you also needed that until he kissed you. You stay in the firepit while everyone else is starting to turn in for the night and the two of you are the only ones still outside.

He brushes your hair, putting it away from your face, and holds your head in his hands like you're a fragile object.

"Should we do something else?" He jokingly asks.

Gosh. You hope he's not seriously asking to do more than a kiss. You pretend to not hear it and take his hands in yours.

"It's getting late," you tell him with a pout and half-shut eyes, showing him that you're getting drowsy even though you're not.

He gently rubs your chin and softly asks, "Want to head inside?"

You nod and smile, "Mm-hmm."

It's a relief that Hyunjin stops trying, you feel like you can properly breathe now as you get off his lap. He gets up from the sofa too and leads the way back to the villa.

You may have failed not breaking the rules but you've tried your best to show some restraint until Hyunjin stops by the terrace and turns his head to the side.

"Want to check the suite first?" He asks.

You nervously chuckle and jokingly ask, "Is it even open?"

Your words only encourage him to take you there and check it. You deeply wish the suite is locked or else, you don't have any other reasons not to get in there with him.

To your dismay, the suite is unlocked.

Hyunjin opens the door and lets you in first. The suite looks exactly like the last time you've seen it, except, there's no chilled champagne, no rose petals on the bed and it's dim with no lit candles in sight.

He closes the door behind him and then goes straight to the bed, sitting on the end of the bed with his legs spreading open.

You're nervous to even get close to him, afraid of what it would lead to. You stand in between his legs, not sure what to do in this enclosed space with him.

Hyunjin puts his hands on each side of your waist and pulls you close, he then buries his head in your chest. You both stay like that for a moment with you softly scratching his head.

He then lifts his head and looks up at you, "I want it to do it," he straightforwardly says.

He loops his arms around your waist and closes the gap between your bodies, "Do you want to do it?"

You don't want to be a hypocrite by saying no when the truth is you want it, you want it so bad that you don't want to resist anymore.

"I do," you honestly answer.

"But it's a big decision," you add with a thin smile.

With Hyunjin, you know you want more than just casually dating each other, you want this to be a genuine relationship, and in a genuine relationship, having sex means taking a step further into a more established relationship.

"You know how I feel about you so let me show you that," he says.

He slightly rises from the bed just to place a kiss on your jaw, "I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he says.

The moment you step into the suite, you know that you've made up your mind and honestly, you're tired of pretending like you can resist him.

You take a deep breath and hold his head in your face, you look into his eyes to seek assurance that you're ready for the next step.

Instead of using words, you plant your lips on him and let your kisses answer it for you.

-

YOU: How am I going to resist Hyunjin?

-

Hyunjin wastes not another second, he takes your top off, exposing your half-naked body to him and he gladly buries his head in between your breasts. He takes one into his mouth while the other one is being fondled by his big hand with his fingers circling your nipple.

"Baby, be gentle, please?" You whine when he accidentally sucks too harder.

He keeps your words in mind but sometimes his body won't obey his commands, it's like it has a mind of its own, a mind that is so hungry for you and only knows a lot of ways to devour you.

He lifts your leg, making you straddle him to satisfy his need for closeness. He crashes his lips against yours again and again yet, can't get enough of it.

Without him knowing, you manage to undo all of the buttons on his shirt and he helps by getting rid of it for you, hurriedly tosses it aside so he can hold you again.

"You never cease to amaze me, baby," he tells you before roughly leaning in to kiss you again.

It's quiet in the room except for the sounds of his lips placing kisses all over you. Your skirt is all hunched up around your waist, your hands are cupping your breasts and Hyunjin keeps going down south, continuing the trail of kisses to your feet.

He then kneels on the bed and looks down at you, his dark lustful eyes traveling down your body, making him realize that you still have your skirt on.

He tugs his fingers on the waistband of your skirt and softly he says, "Raise your hips for me, baby."

You obey right away, raising your hips high enough to let Hyunjin pull your skirt down and off your legs, leaving you with nothing but lacy underwear, the fabric is so thin he can see through it, the thing that endlessly tantalizes him.

He grabs both of your legs, holding them close to his chest before parting them open. He turns his head to the side, bringing your ankle close to his mouth to kiss it. He doesn't stop there, the kisses continue to your inner thighs.

Hyunjin doesn't bother to remove it first, he dives right into your clothed cunt, his greedy mouth full of your flesh and your underwear soaked wet from his saliva.

He's enjoying, enjoying it so much that he puts your underwear to the side so he can taste you better, his slick tongue and his soft lips drenched in your wetness.

He can hear you moaning but it's somewhat muffled, he pulls away for a moment and looks at you between your legs.

"Moan louder for me, baby. I can't hear you with my head between your thighs."

Well, the only way he can make you moan louder is by pushing the right button. He adds his fingers to the combination, giving you the utmost pleasure by moving them in sync.

You keep arching your back and grinding at his mouth, enough to tell him that he only needs to continue his delightful assault to get you to your release.

"Baby, oh..." your voice cracks as your eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed with pleasure.

He kisses your inner thigh as he watches your cunt soaking wet with a mix of your essence and his saliva, but it's your gushing hole that makes him impatient to be inside you.

"Why are you so good with your mouth?" You ask in awe, half panting from all the moaning.

Well, Hyunjin takes pride in his prowess at giving head and it gives a boost of confidence to show you what else he's good at. He pulls the duvet until it covers both of your bodies so as to not expose yourselves to the cameras installed in the room.

Under the cover, he manages to take your underwear off without looking and plays with your bundle of nerves after, feeling it swelling and pulsating under his touch.

"I'm good with my hands too," he says.

You shyly smile and pull him for a kiss, but you show him you want the other thing. You put your hand inside his jeans and his boxer altogether, easily finding his hard cock and wrapping your hand around it.

"So hard. So big," you breathlessly murmur against his lips.

"So ready to be inside you," he finishes your sentence.

You crack a laugh and peck his lips, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

It's good to know he's not the only one being impatient here, but first, he has to get rid of his jeans and put

"Give me a minute to get a condom on," he gives you a peck before rolling to the side of the bed.

He sits on the edge of the bed, rummaging through the small drawers on the bedside table to find a condom, and then takes his jeans off. He unwraps the foil wrapper and carefully rolls the rubber down his length, it's not hard to do so when he's fully erect and it's all because of you.

Once he makes sure he properly put the condom on, he climbs onto the bed and gets under the duvet with you, arms instantly wrapped around you.

The only fear that still lingers in him is that he won't last long considering that he's been refrained from any sexual activities for these past couple weeks. What if he cum the second he put himself inside you? He wants to make the first time having sex with you a special moment, not a humiliating one.

"I want to do it with you," you tell him out of the blue.

It's as if you heard his mind, you assure him that this is what you and there's no pressure whatsoever, you merely want to do it with him.

"And I want to do it with you," he says back with a soft smile on his small face.

You put your hands around his neck and pull him for a kiss, "Let's do it together."

In that moment, Hyunjin gets hit by the realization that everything else doesn't matter. What matters is this moment with you.

He kisses you, fueling himself for what he's about to do next, and while brushing your hair to the side, he says, "I'm going in, yeah?"

You nod with a smile, permitting him to enter the most sacred part of your body.

It's tricky to keep the duvet from sliding off of him as he kneels on the bed again, he then takes your legs and parts them open. He starts by repeatedly rubbing his length against your slit, using your bodily fluid as a lubricant.

With the reminder to be gentle, he uses his tip to tease your entrance before slowly easing himself inside, little by little. You're breathlessly moaning as you keep taking his length so well that Hyunjin can only watch as his cock disappeared into you with your mouth agape.

The only time his eyes stray away from your cunt is to see you moaning with your eyes closed and your hands squeezing your breasts.

A moan slips past his mouth when he is fully sheathed inside your warm, velvety walls and he's not ashamed of it. He keeps groaning as the pleasure of being inside you gets to him, sending his brain close to short-circuit.

He glides his hand up your front and holds the hand cupping your left breast, "Do you see that, baby?"

Hyunjin is eyeing his cock fully buried inside you to the hilt, the image is being imprinted in the back of his head as he thinks out loud.

"I look so perfect inside you, don't you think?"

You nod in a way that is innocent but arousing at the same time which reminds him of how much he wants to ruin you.

He rubs his hand up and down your inner thigh, admiring the view of your body and how it's connected with him.

"You feel so good," he lowly mutters.

He glides his hand up to your chest and kneads on your breast, "I think I need a moment."

Hyunjin takes a minute to adjust himself inside you, how good it feels to be wrapped in your warmth, tight walls, and the way you clench and unclench around him in the slightest of movement.

He kisses you hard and deep to finally start moving and feeling his cock launches deeper and deeper for every thrust into you.

He keeps kissing you and when he's not, moans keep spilling out of your mouth, and calling his name in between those moans. Your bodies eventually move in sync and work together to chase that release.

When Hyunjin finally snaps, he has a moment of clarity. He couldn't believe that he managed to not do it the last time he was here, he had that much restraint in him but now, all bets are off and he's fully aware that it's his biggest gamble yet.

-

HYUNJIN: Best believe, I'm going all in tonight.

-

The next morning, Lana is still no-show.

You know she'll be back at some point but you feel a little relieved that she hasn't, you don't want to deal with that yet. You still want to live in this bubble together with Hyunjin.

"Good morning, angel baby," he sweetly whispers into your ear as he spoons you from behind.

You giggle as he places ticklish kisses on your bare shoulder and neck. He holds you close as he rests his head in the crook of your neck to get a little extra sleep.

The two of you returned late from the suite and sneaked into the bedroom while everyone else had fallen asleep. You see that no one is suspecting anything but Lana's sinister disappearance.

"Lana, girl, how long are you going to hide?" Frida asks while twisting her curly hair and securing it with a hair claw.

Thinking about Lana gets you a little uneasy, you break away from Hyunjin's hold and sit on the bed, offering your lap to let him rest his head on.

He gladly does that, resting his head on your lap and putting your hand in his hair, asking you to play with his dark, silky locks.

"Lana is not running away with our money, right?" Andy asks in a panic.

It's funny that he puts a sense of ownership over it when it's no one's money in the first place, and Lana has the right to run away with the money if she wants to.

"Did anyone break the rules last night though?" Diego asks around, scanning the room with his eyes.

Everyone is playing innocent, shaking their heads or completely ignoring the question like you and Hyunjin did. Avoiding it doesn't mean you're not free of guilt, it's there and it's pooling in the pit of your stomach, making you feel faint.

After lunch, you share the hammock with Hyunjin, simply enjoying each other's presence and the beautiful view of the sea.

"Last night felt like a dream," he says out of the blue.

You get butterflies whenever you recall moments from last night and you find yourself smiling like a fool, "Yeah."

The memories are still fresh in your brain, you remember every detail from the way he looked at you, touched you, kissed you, where he put his hand on your body, and oh... just everything.

He puts his arm around you and puts his head against yours, "I didn't regret doing it with you. It was special to me," he tells you.

"You made me feel special," you sincerely tell him because that's what he made you feel last night: nothing less than special.

"Last night, we took a big step in our relationship," he says.

You nod in agreement.

"Whatever happens, we're in it together," he says, pressing a kiss on your temple.

Of course, he knows that you need comfort and assurance, that's why he said those words. You gently hold his jaw and place a tender kiss on his cheek.

"We're in it together," you repeat his words back to him with a smile.

Hyunjin is right, whatever happens, you shouldn't be afraid because you're not alone, you're in it together with him.

When you walk back to the villa, Andy comes running toward the two of you, his blond hair bouncing on his head.

"What's going on?" You ask him.

"It's Lana. She's back," Andy answers.

-

YOU: I knew it was all too good to be true [exhales]

-

"Anxiety is back, my friend," Edouard shouts as he takes a seat on the curved sofa.

No shit. Your legs are shaking, your hands are sweating and you press your lips together so that it forms a thin line on your face. Even with Hyunjin sitting next to you, you can't seem to relax.

"Even though my conscience is clear, I'm tense," Frida says then lets out a sigh.

The cone is there on the table and she's quietly glaring at you. When she chimes, you almost jump on your seat.

Everyone is gasping in response to her return, even though you know no one is expecting she will be back this soon.

"Hello, everyone," Lana starts with her usual greeting.

"Hi, Lana," you weakly reply with your knee bouncing against the floor.

"Yesterday, I disappeared from the villa to test how you would behave when left to your own devices. Just as you will be in the real world after my retreat," Lana explains.

You do not like where this is going but you have nowhere to go either, you have to face the music.

"Despite my absence, my sensors kept monitoring your every move," Lana further reveals.

"I knew it!" Diego exclaims, triumphantly fisting the air.

Emilie shakes her head and sighs, "It was all too good to be true.

Your guess is not off the mark either, you were right that this was all just a test from Lana and you clearly failed.

"I am very disappointed to report that there were several breaches of the rules," Lana informs.

This is where the witch hunt begins, everyone is looking at each other and trying to spot any guilty faces. Somehow, you manage to keep a straight face despite your heart beating out of your chest.

"Anyone want to start?" Diego asks.

You see Remy and Saskia are glancing at each other and then she turns her head to face everyone again.

"We had a kiss," Saskia comes clean.

"We had a chat, we got carried on. Just once, I swear," Remy explains the details and ends it with a sincere apology.

"There was another breach of the rules," Lana will not stop exposing the rule breakers until they come out with the truth.

Remy and Saskia had it easy because it was their first time breaking the rule and it was only just a kiss. You can't compare it to what you've done with Hyunjin.

"We also kissed, Edouard and I," Vic immediately admits, not holding back from telling everyone about it.

"I just thought that the rules were off," Edouard coyly explains, but the grin on his face tells otherwise.

"Told you, Lana was watching the whole time," Andy tells him.

"I'm sorry," Edouard quickly apologizes to end the conversation.

"The prize fund now stands at $48,000," Lana updates the current amount of prize money.

Everyone must think that's the end of it, that no one else breaking the rules and losing $12,000 is the worst anyone could have done to the prize fund.

You hate to break it to them but they haven't heard the worst of it, you look at Hyunjin and he's pinching at his lower lip which is something he does whenever he's nervous.

"However, there was an additional, serious breach of the rules," Lana further reveals.

-

YOU: I don't know what's coming but Hyunjin and I might be in some trouble.

-

Hyunjin knows he's got to be a big boy and owns up to his mistake. Also, he can't stand seeing you all tense and anxious next to him.

Before it gets messy and uncomfortable for everyone, he leans forward in his seat and starts talking.

"Last night, we... uh," Hyunjin couldn't find any words that would help him soften the blow.

He takes a deep breath and tries again, "Last night we took a step further—"

He gets cut off as everyone else starts groaning in response, knowing the rest of the sentence without him needing to finish it. A few of them seem to have expected this to happen and most of them are disappointed in him.

"This is all my fault, I messed up and I do feel bad," he sincerely says.

He looks at everyone, each and every one of them eye to eye, then with all of his heart, he apologizes.

"I'm sorry," he earnestly says.

"You yet again failed to show any form of restraint and broke the ultimate rule of my retreat, sexual intercourse," Lana says.

Hyunjin didn't think that it would hit him this hard, he may have said he did not regret what he did last night but he regretted acting so selfishly.

"There was $48,000 in the prize fund but because of your numerous rule breaks last night, your prize fund is now at $0," Lana finally drops the shocking news.

There's no money left in the pot anymore and it is all his fault, he understands if everyone is disappointed in him or even hates him for it. He deserves it.

"The prize fund is at $0. However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," Lana suddenly shares uplifting news.

It's very rare for her to share good news after bad ones and the mood turns a little lighter, everyone is cheering and applauding for the good news.

"Yes, Lana!" Diego exclaims while clapping his hands together.

"Now I need everyone on their best behavior!" Frida scolds everyone.

But as we all know, happiness is fleeting because Lana hasn't finished with the announcement yet.

"But not for all of you."

Everyone knows what that means and it means she's going to send someone home. He hates to admit it but he has a feeling that Lana is going to send you and him out of here.

"Oh, my days!" Edie whines, fanning her face as she gets red all over from holding her tears.

"No, please, Lana," Saskia hopelessly begs at the cone.

His thought somehow manifests into reality as Lana calls both of your names and his heart drops to his stomach.

"Please stand up!" Lana orders.

Hyunjin can't even feel the ground beneath him as he gets up from the sofa and takes a stand, he puts his arm around you and holds you close, providing you comfort even though he knows you're just as anxious as him.

"As a couple, you have broken the most rules but one of you has shown more disregard for the rules than the other. And that person will be going home," Lana announces.

"Oh, my god," Edie whines again, burying her face in her hands.

"The person leaving the retreat is..."

Deep down, Hyunjin knows that Lana is sending him home, he looks at you and holds you tighter. He can see that you know that he knows.

"...Hyunjin."

-

HYUNJIN: At the end of the day, you can only point one finger and that's at me.

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[iloveaustinelvisandmannymore]

hii i saw your request were open for zoro so i was wondering if you could write something with the hidden injury trope and he takes care of her when she collapse at one point tysm !! (ignore if you dont feel inspired or comfortable ofc)

( So quickly, an A/n: I decided to continue the Stay by Me storyline with this one, and the events of the show will be stretched a little bit. Spoilers!)

A lot has happened since you've been found out. You met the rest of the 'crew'. Luffy, the ever-go-lucky captain, immediately pulled you into a hug and welcomed you to his crew. Nami, the only other girl, had a slightly distrustful expression; muttering a small hello, she crossed her arms and continued to watch you as Usopp introduced himself and already began to tell his many stories.

Zoro hadn't left your side, wherever you were, he was there, watching. You would have thought it would freak you out, but if anything, you felt safe, like you didn't have to look over your shoulder anymore. Life was good. Until it wasn't.

You were attacked by a ship of Marines who was led by Luffy's grandfather, almost got lost in the fog you sought cover from, and were able to get out by your captain's nose and his love of food that you all found a restaurant ship where you would meet your future crew mate and Zoro's least favorite person. The mighty Dracule Mihawk was sent there by Luffy's grandfather, and Zoro challenged him to the death. He agreed.

Nami tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen, even to you. You tried, but when his callous hand caressed your cheek, his deep brown eyes staring into yours, and the soft tone in which he spoke, saying that he was gonna win, that he'd never leave you unprotected, you believed him.

What a fool.

Everything happens so fast. Zoro was injured in a duel with Mihawk; on the edge of death, Nami left with a pirate crew of fishmen and the map of the grand line. Zoro woke up, and you all set sail to find Nami, along with Sanji. You learned about her past and helped her defeat the dreaded Arlong. During the fight with Arlong, you become injured, and nobody knew, You had more important matters than the burning pain of shards of glass stuck in your side.

It wasn't till after the fight you passed out from the pain.

The gentle rocking of the ship was the first thing you felt as you gained consciousness. The feeling of someone's hand holding yours tightened as your eyes slowly opened. "Zoro..?" You managed to coak out, turning to look at the man in question. "Why didn't you say anything..?" Zoro said after a minute of not saying anything, his brown eyes snapping up to look at your face.

You gulped, "I didn't think it was important." Your eyes plead for him not to be mean. "Not important? Not fucking important!?" Zoro growled, standing up from the chair he sat on and letting go of your hand. "It's important to me! You're important to me.." He lowered his voice at the last part, no longer sounding angry but simply hurt. "Zoro," you grunted as he helped you sit up in bed, "I'm sorry, I should have said something. I was just worried about everyone else. I'll tell you next time. I promise." You held up your pinky and smiled at the tired chuckle that left the green-headed swordsman. Zoro locked his pinky around yours.

Using your pinky, he flong you into his body, your soft, plump stomach hitting against his abs, and his plush lips smashed against yours, stealing your breath away.

When you both parted, he whispered against your lips, "You're my woman. I'm your man. From now on." You couldn't be happier.

@xxmaddhatter39xx

[blakeswritingimagines]

This Love

Summary: Lovesick! Aegon and his pregnant partner fight and make up.

Word count: 3.6k

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Aegon pursued his lips before clicking his tongue as he brought his wine closer to his lips taking a long sip, listening to your angry rambling which had become common with how far along in the pregnancy you were at least that's what he was told but simply nodded along having learned if he said otherwise you apparently grew annoyed that he didn't share the same thoughts and feelings as you even though you were the only one that was pregnant "Yes darling your right I'm sure." "You don't care at all. You never do." You said, tears welling as you spoke. "What was our conversation earlier, exactly? All you can think about are your precious whores, aren't you? You'd kill me in an instant if it would give you an extra." You moved closer to Aegon. Your eyes were bloodshot, but you continued on. "Well, go on- kill me. I'm nothing to you, Aegon. I am nothing to you. I'm just a womb for your children."

Aegon stood and watched as you neared closer slowly but surely to him before he gently wrapped his arms around your swollen body and held you close as he quietly shushed you, letting out a sigh knowing he couldn't find anything right to say to you when your emotions ran higher like most days since you had become pregnant but softly spoke in your ear "I care about you as much as I do Sunfrye, you know that nor have I ever said you care about your something else more, it's difficult saying anything to you right now because no matter what I'm wrong and I'm simply trying not to annoy you further. But if it's such a big deal then I'll speak to whoever is bothering you and deal with it." Rolling your eyes at his words "Don't lie to me, Aegon. I can see it in your eyes, the way you look at me with indifference. You are disgusted by me, Aegon!" You broke from his embrace and took several shaky steps backward. "I am nothing to you! To anyone! I am just a worthless womb, aren't I?" You shouted with a sob.

Aegon felt his stomach turn as he watched you and felt awful that he couldn't help you any better than he could, slowly walking closer to you as he slowly held his hands out but didn't touch you as he shook his head and spoke with certainty "I'm not disgusted by you dear, nor are you just a womb to anyone I promise, I've been letting you help rule everything by my side granted I've taken over but it's just because your pregnant and once the babe is here you'll come back and help me won't you? We'll take care of our babe and our people together." "You're just trying to placate me. You'll discard me once the child is delivered, won't you? You'll discard me once I'm no longer useful to you, won't you? Admit it! You'll discard me and you'll find some new pregnant wench to fill my spot!" You shouted with an unhinged ferocity.

Aegon sighed as he listened to you shout at him which was starting to become normal to him but gripped your jaw in his hand still trying to be as gentle as he could but forced you to make eye contact with him as he spoke no longer in the mood to hear your thoughts about what you figured he might do once the babe was born "Knock it off right now, I married you and I am having a babe with you I have no plans or desires to find someone else you are it for me and I promise whoever has been filling your head with such things will be answering to me and begging for their life if they do this again" Knowing people in court and the servants around the castle gossiped heavily, especially about himself. "Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!" You tightly closed your eyes and began to repeat over and over, your voice growing louder with each passing word. "Don't lie to me, Aegon! I know the way you truly feel! You'll trade me in like a horse, won't you? You'll trade me in for a younger girl; one with less stretch marks and a tighter womb! Admit it!"

Aegon listened to you insult him by calling him a liar but simply leaned closer as he let his hands trail up and down your swollen body squeezing every once in a while, loving how much more plump you had become since being pregnant but learned the hard way not to say it that way to you but grinned to himself as he spoke and looked into your dark brown eyes with his violet ones "You are still young and just as gorgeous as when we were met, and I love your stretch marks and tracing them when you let me" Leaning closer as he whispered "and your still tight yourself I've noticed when we have sex." "Stop trying to placate me." You spat at Aegon, slapping his hand away. "You've probably already found some other wench, I'm sure. I mean, when I'm not around all the time you must be so tempted to cheat. To find yourself a new woman. You are not faithful to me, Aegon! I know it! I need only look at your eyes to see the lust bubbling beneath the surface!"

Aegon pulled his hands away but rested them beside you still as he nodded his head along to your words as he pretended to think about it before looking at you once more and smiling to himself remembering what he did when you weren't around to help him when he got excited and horny but raised a brow at you as he playfully tilted his head "Or and do hear me out on this, I simply get want you when the lust is too much I adore having you all to myself and when your not around i've learned how to deal with it myself since nobody could ever compare to you" Knowing he only ever really looked at you whenever even when you walked into the room or even during court as he was the king, he couldn't easily take his eyes off of you and often had to deal with his younger brother Aemond tell him how lovesick he looked for you since meeting you. You laughed humorlessly before walking towards a nearby divan and plopping down on it. "I am supposed to believe that, then? You expect me to believe that your lust can be satisfied by your own hands? How stupid do you think I am?"

Aegon watched you closely before walking closer to you and even doing the unthinkable that no king ever really did for anyone and kneeled down beside you instead of sitting next to you since you had made it clear you didn't want his touch right now and chuckled "I never said it satisfied me but what am I to do when you're not around or do not want sex? when we first married you had asked me to not hurt you and I'm doing everything I can not to even now a year later... but I do not know what else to do to help you understand that." Scoffing lightly before you spoke. "So, then what do you do to satisfy your urges? Do you use your hands, like a normal man does?" You asked, sarcastically. "Or do you find another woman? It wouldn't surprise me, to be honest. You were quite the womanizer before our betrothal. Which one is it, Aegon? I wish to know." You said before you turned your head to face him and looked directly into Aegon's eyes.

Aegon clasped his hands together as he looked up at you before rolling his eyes then sighed before licking his lips as he looked into your eyes and slowly nodded his head as he spoke honestly "I have thought about going back to the streets of Slik but I haven't you can even ask... I do it myself especially since during most of this pregnancy you don't want to be touched unless you want it and we've only had sex when you wanted it" Knowing how much he used and slept around with women and the servant girls since he had kids before you two got together but had been doing his best to stop for you even with as much as you slapped it back in his face. "How am I supposed to trust you, Aegon? Do you think I'm so stupid? You could cheat right now and I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop you. You have all the power. You know how I feel about your past. What if one of them became pregnant? What if you sired a bastard with some random woman? Admit it! Even if you did father a bastard, you wouldn't tell me. You'd cover it up! You'd lie to me, wouldn't you!" He demanded.

Aegon listened to you and had heard enough even from his own family when he agreed to marry you when his older sister your mother Rhaenyra offered a marriage between you both, gently placing his hand on your swollen stomach simply wishing he could make everything better but finally looked away only looking at your stomach now as he quietly spoke feeling more broken then he had ever felt in his life before "your right I know you are but I'm trying there are days that are harder but I still push through and try for you, for our babe, I refuse to let anyone speak about you or your brothers as if your bastards anymore, and I still let you rule beside me even knowing people would've had a problem with it, I don't know what else to do to please you..." "You expect me to believe that?" You couldn't help but sneer. "Just saying that you won't cheat doesn't mean you won't cheat! You are lying, Aegon; I would not be surprised if you have cheated already. You are only telling me what you think I want to hear, aren't you? What if I did want to get out? You know I can't do that. You are the one with all the power, Aegon! You can do anything you want and I will have to deal with it."

Aegon simply ignored you trying to accuse him of cheating still and leaned forward as he gently kissed your large bump before looking up at you as he tried to hide his broken feelings that felt like it could've killed him and spoke quietly "Just say the word that you want out and I'll figure it out... I promise", Slowly standing and started to make his way out of the room to give you more space instead of keeping up with the fight that had lasted hours by now since he didn't know how else he should comfort you or calm your worries that seemed heavier than ever that he would cheat since you became pregnant. "Don't leave!" You shout as Aegon begins to walk away. "I'm trying to have a conversation with you, Aegon! You would leave the moment things got difficult, wouldn't you? It's just another sign that you're no better than all the other men! Come back here! I am not done with you yet! You cannot ignore this, Aegon!" You stood and stalked Aegon, hearing your heart pound in your ears in fury.

Aegon stopped in his tracks and slightly turned to face you before he shrugged at your words feeling like he was at a loss "What else shall I do? you ignore my claim of never cheating on you, that I must not actually love you, everything I try to talk out you don't believe me anyway even when I try to make things easier for you, for us you blissfully ignore...I know what I was like before you but I am trying to change and you refuse to see it. I don't sleep around, I don't drink, and I have taken care of anyone who thought it was a good idea to say you and your brothers are bastards. I even stopped my brother from killing yours." Walking closer to you as his resolve started to break since he was tired of fighting the same things day in and day out while still fighting with his own family. "What else can I do?" You stared up at the King directly in his eyes with an expression that was equal parts fury and sorrow. "Swear to me that you have not been unfaithful to me since our wedding night. Swear it to me now, Aegon. I refuse to believe you until I hear you swear to this," you demanded.

Aegon sighed as he heard your words and had been doing such since these fights started but slowly opened his violet eyes and looked into your misty ones letting the silence hang in the air for what felt like forever but slowly and quietly starting to talk tired as ever "I swear it to you, on whatever you want I have not laid with another that wasn't you." Pulling his arm out of your hold knowing he would swear it on his father, the iron throne, his kids, his dragon, anything you could think of that he was being truthful even about some days being harder than some. You stared intently into Aegon's eyes as you waited to hear him speak the oath. "Swear it to me on your crown. Swear it to me on your honor that you have remained faithful to me. Swear it to me by whatever is most holy to you." Aegon sighed as he looked at you but listened to you speak, before nodding his head at everything you listed before stopping to think what was most holy to him since he didn't care about his own father who had passed or the gods had never seemed to help him when he most needed it. But looked off as he thought about what was most holy to him before he quietly spoke and looked into your eyes as he gave an answer not even you would have seen coming about what he thought was the most holy thing in his life "I swear it on our marriage."

You stared at Aegon for a long moment. "You swear it on our marriage," you repeated slowly. "Do you know what that means? I want you to tell me exactly what that means. I want to hear it from you, Aegon. Tell me what swearing it on our marriage means to you." Aegon leaned in close to you as he took a deep breath knowing it was an improper and most likely taboo that he let you mainly be in charge between you both, but enjoyed it normally since he had to be in charge as king, looking into your eyes as he gently took your hand in his own before he started talking "It means I have never cheated and will never be as stupid to cheat on such a beautiful soul regardless what you or anyone thinks, it means you are the only person in the world for me even right now as we fight that I want in my bed at the end of the day, that I want children with and to rule beside me...it means that you and our marriage are the holiest things in this world to me I don't care about anyone else even the fucking gods as long as I have you beside me and in my arms. I will deal with anyone who makes you think otherwise or you think could even turn my head".

You listened intently to Aegon's admission of loyalty. "I believe you," you said plainly, after a long silence. "You are right. I'm sorry. You have been a loyal husband, and I'm sorry that I doubt your fidelity. I'm sorry that I accuse you of infidelity. You don't deserve that, Aegon. I have behaved shamefully towards you. I can see that now." Aegon still made no move to touch or hold you as he still thought you might not want him too but slowly started to smile before he shook his head and spoke with a deep rasp to his voice "No you were right I slept around and used women however I pleased before it's fair of you to think I can't give up my ways," slowly moving his hand up only to cup your face as he leaned in closer letting his warm breath hit your pink lips. "I know it's hard to believe even with people still talking about it to the day but I do mean it that I've been changing just for you, I only want your stretch marks and all...and your tight womb." You paused for a moment, as Aegon's last comment made you realize he might not have used the most tasteful wording. "Are you serious?" He asked, with amusement in his voice. "You really mean to tell me you have been changing your ways, Aegon. You have truly given up your old lifestyle, just for me? Are you being honest, then? Truly honest? Are you trying to tell me that you really love me above all others?"

Aegon listened to you before letting go of you and slowly kneeled before you as he looked up at you knowing a king should never bend at the knee for anyone or anything but made it a point to show you how honest he was being as he nodded his head and slowly started to smile as the fight was calming down "yes I'm being honest and I have truly been trying...just for you, I know I've slept around and used people before nor was I very kind to you when we met, and I might still make mistakes but I am trying I promise." You watched Aegon as he knelt before you, and you could not help but laugh in amusement. "You kneel before me like a lowly knight," you said teasingly, trying to hide the swelling feeling around your heart at Aegon's display of devotion. "I suppose I must get used to my place as Queen then if you truly are as devoted to me as you say you are." You said, in a slightly teasing manner. "I forgive you for our misunderstandings, my husband. You really do love me, don't you?" Aegon chuckled but nodded his head in understanding but would've done it over and over again if he had to, placing his hands on your thighs as he kept looking up at you before he nodded his head again feeling relief set in his bones that you seemed to be understanding, even as tough as it was for him to not want to use women like he was used to he would always keep you in mind if he even ever had to speak to other women. "That I do darling, you could ask for whatever your heart desired and I would give to you, especially if it helped you feel better that I would not cheat on you." Tilting your head to the side as you looked at him.

"Anything I desire, Aegon?" You looked at your husband with amusement in your eyes and a small smile on your lips. "What happens if I were to demand something ridiculous from you. Something that you absolutely cannot give me. And when I say this, I mean something truly ridiculous - can you think of something so absurd that it makes you laugh at the thought of it?" Aegon nodded his head knowing all he wanted was for his life to calm down and no longer have to fight with every single person especially you, chuckling again before resting his head against your swollen stomach still kneeling before you but had a small smile on his face knowing you would push this as far as you could, but slightly nodded his head again as he spoke knowing he would take care of anyone who made you rethink your life with him or made you jealous. "I would still do my best to make it happen, name your price...anything at all." You thought for a moment before your smile widened into a grin as you spoke once more. "What if I ordered you to abdicate the throne in my favor?" You said with a giggle not believing he would do it. "What if I told you to give up your crown, simply because I asked you to? Would you do it, Aegon? Would you step down from the Iron Throne just for me?"

"I am sure. You may ask for anything your heart desires. I will make it so." Aegon's eyes are intense with an overwhelming anticipation. Aegon's brows raise and his eyes are fixed on you with an unreadable expression. "… Well, I… I…" He laughs nervously, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. "Um, I… I would, yes." The nervous laughter grows as his pale cheeks flush red. "Truly? Would you, Aegon?" You asked, your eyes widening as you spoke. "Would you really step down as King for me?… Because I was just joking, really." You laughed playfully at Aegon's face turning red, before you moved to kneel alongside Aegon on the floor. "I never wanted you to give up your crown, Aegon," you said quietly, in a serious tone. His nervous laughter continues and he looks away, trying to collect his thoughts. After a moment his face slowly relaxes and he looks back at you. "…I did not expect this. I…" He's silent and uncertain, as all thoughts and feelings fly all over the place inside his head. "But I have a lot of love for you." His face turns toward Jacaerys and he gives a soft expression. "More than you may know."

[cherriegyuu]

asellus australis | jww | part 1

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader genre: fluff, romance, idiots to lovers word count: 6k summary: Wonwoo couldn’t possibly be the only person living in Sydney who didn’t know how to swim, so he reluctantly says yes to the lessons his friends signed him up for. When he learns that you are his instructor, he figures learning how to swim as an adult isn’t all that embarrassing after all warnings: fear of water, mentions of drowning a/n: this is part of the @svthub 2024 world tour collab. please head there to check out other fics under this collab. if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

It was the kids' laughter that brought your mind out of its newest daydream. It was hard to keep yourself focused on what was happening right in front of you rather than on what had already happened. It was a new feeling and so completely out of character for you. 

A couple of weeks had gone by since you attended a certain party, one you didn’t want to go to. You were too tired from the week and there was a little hint of emotional exhaustion to put yourself through a situation where everything would eventually turn out to be too much. 

It had been so easy to find a quiet place further in at the back, away from all the people and their noisiness. There was only so much music and chatter you could block out just by standing away though.

You sipped your drink, something sweet and fruity Kira had gotten you before drifting off to wherever she wanted to go. It was somewhat frustrating to have gone there because of her and having her pull away from you the second you got there. But at the same time, you understood why she did it. Whoever her new crush was, he was at the party, which meant that she saw an opportunity. Kira was never one to be at a party by herself, and unfortunately, Nina had a better excuse to not be there than “I’m tired”, so you had to be the one to tag along. Though it wasn’t entirely too bad, it was a little boring. 

And then he showed up. 

You had never seen him before, which considering that you didn’t know a single person at the party wasn’t surprising at all. You knew Kira and maybe a couple of others in passing. You made a mental note to ask her how she found out at that party. 

There was no way for you to look away from him. It was like there was this spotlight on him, just on him, making everyone else around pale. 

Somehow he had ended up by your side, claiming to also be running away from his friends and the noise. 

“This isn’t really my scene,” he said “I don’t even know how they managed to drag me out here, to be honest”

You blushed a little when he looked at you, a smile wide on his face. It was enough to make your heart skip a beat. 

“I’m Wonwoo”, his hand stretched out while his left one adjusted the glasses in his nose. 

“Hi”

You let your hand be wrapped by his. You had never felt quite that shy before while meeting someone. Usually, you were the talkative one. 

“I wasn’t supposed to come out tonight” you admitted “but I’m kind of glad I did”

Was that possibly crossing a line? You weren’t sure, it probably was but early that morning you read that you should be more open to relationships in whichever format they came from, the reason why you didn’t even try to stop Kira from dragging to the party. 

A long time had gone by since you felt anything similar while talking to someone — especially since using the word talking seemed to be a little much considering you had barely exchanged a few words. Wonwoo had your undivided attention from the moment he walked in. 

Wonwoo simply smiled at you again and looked up at the sky. The sun had long set and in its place the most beautiful full moon lit up the sky, accompanied by the countless shining stars. 

“There’s so many stars tonight,” you said and almost kicked yourself for it. 

It was probably the worst way you could have started a conversation with a guy. You half expected him to answer you at all, a nod or a hm, at best. 

“Did you know,” his words were almost shy, his delicious low voice dropping even lower, almost as if he was telling you a secret “that the stars have colors?”

His voice was so quiet while he spoke, his eyes still focused on the sky above. Wonwoo clasped his hands together, his knuckles turning white while he put way too much strength into something that needed none.

“Really?” you looked up for a second before turning your full attention back to his profile “I thought it was just some sort of optical illusion”

He turned to you then, his full attention on you as you waited for him to speak again. It was an odd feeling, for him to have someone interested in whatever he was saying.

“Yeah, there’s a few. Blue, white, yellow, orange, and red” he made a fist between the two of you, raising a finger every time he said a different color “The color depends on the temperature and life cycle”

Maybe you didn’t mean to, or perhaps you did, but you leaned your body a little to the left, your knee touching his.

“I had no idea”

He looked at you, slightly surprised that you were suddenly so close to him but smiled at you all the same.

“You can’t see the colors when you look at the sky?” his eyebrows were slightly raised, lips in a mix of a pout and a smile. 

You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth in hopes that it could make you stop from inching forward and pressing them against his. If you were in his place you’d probably run away screaming “crazy” at the top of your lungs”

“I mean, I can, I just didn't think the star had actual colors. I guess I just always assumed it was all silver”

Wonwoo laughed, his nose wrinkling in the most adorable way possible. 

You were talking with him for a couple of hours, the most casual kind of conversation and it was probably the most fun you had in a long time at one of those parties. Not that you didn’t have fun. Nina and Kira were always fun to be around and it was something you always said yes to, being around them. But with Wonwoo it was just a different kind of fun. Usually, when guys approach you at parties the conversations always remain the same, and it was always made to make them look larger than life. 

Wonwoo however seemed to be much more interested in talking about the sky and the moon and the stars — “did you know that the moon moves away further from the earth every year? — and while you were aware that some of it was just to prove himself as smart, you found it cute and at times, even endearing. 

He seemed somewhat passionate about what he was talking about to the point where you could just stand there and look at him without ever getting bored. His voice, low when he had first sat by your side, had gone up a few notes, maybe partially because of the music around you, but you had a feeling that it was because he was just getting excited about what he was talking about. 

“I never saw you before at one of these,” you said

Wonwoo took a long sip of his drink, you weren’t sure of what it was but it wasn’t the cheap beer that was in your cup. 

“I don’t come to these often, my friends” he pointed at where the rest of the people were and you had no real way of finding out who his friends were “finally managed to drag me out. I would have stayed at the office if they didn’t”

It was a redo of the conversation you had before but you didn’t mind in the least, not when you could feel his warm breath at the top of your cheeks as he leaned down to talk to you. Slightly, you turn your head to him and for a moment you thought about just typing your head up slightly, just enough to reach his lips. 

“What do you do for a living?”

Wonwoo cleared his throat, his eyes moving from your eyes to your lips. He did that maybe a couple of times before he finally, finally, leaned in. And it was like little bells of you started to play inside your head. It was perfect for all of two seconds, his lips pressed over yours, soft and warm, his hand at the back of your neck pulling your face closer to his before someone screamed your name at the top of their lungs. 

He pulled away from you immediately and you honestly wanted to cry. The kiss had only lasted a brief second but you didn’t want it to end.

Kira was suddenly by your side, a look of complete desperation in her eyes. 

“We have to go… Nina…”

Before she even finished her sentence you were already up. You looked at Wonwoo quickly, hoping that he could see how sorry you were when you ran out. 

Looking back you wished you could have remembered to ask for his number before you left, or for him to ask for yours. But all of it had happened way too quickly that it had never crossed.

Ever since that night had been stuck in your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about Wonwoo or the kiss. It was like your mind was in this infinite looping playing that one moment.

“The new guy is here,” Jinah said, Laughing a little.

You looked where she was pointing and couldn't help the low laugh that escaped your lips. Three guys were walking towards you. Maybe walking was a bit too strong a word, one of them was being pushed by the other two.

“We're already here,” the shorter one said, exasperated “You just have to go there and learn”

“You know, this is a terrible idea” the one who was being pushed said.

It was as if you had been transported back to that day at the party. It was precisely the voice you wanted to hear but had no real way of hearing.

“Wonwoo?”

Your voice was one that Wonwoo didn't expect to hear any time soon, or maybe ever again. After that day when he left the party in a hurry, without giving the slightest explanation, Wonwoo was sure he would never see you again. Sydney was far from a small town and he wasn't the biggest party-goer who had ever set foot on this earth, he knew that the chances of running into you again were slim to none.

But somehow, you were right there in front of him.

He had thought many times about what he would say if he saw you again if he was that lucky. Everything that had gone through his head had seemed wrong and now that you were in a place where he could see you, nothing came to mind. It was as if he had momentarily forgotten all the words he had learned throughout his life. That all the years he had spent trapped in an educational institution hadn't taught him anything.

Ever since that night, Wonwoo couldn't stop thinking about you. It didn’t matter what he did, however, he tried to think of other things or other people and focus on work. You were always there, in the back of his mind. He had never done anything quite like that before. 

That wasn’t to say that he had never had a girlfriend. He had, a few of them throughout his life but it never happened quite that fast and it was never quite life-altering. Sure, he had met a girl once at one of the many events he attended as part of his job and she had stayed in his mind for a couple of hours, but never days like it happened with you. 

And when he started to babble about the moon and the stars, because he had gotten nervous, you didn’t seem to mind. Instead, you gave him your full attention, seemingly inserted in what he was saying. But then suddenly you were gone and he didn’t even have the chance to ask for your number or anything that he could use to find you again. 

Wonwoo had been certain that you would, somehow, be the one who got away and yet there you were, in shorts and a black swimsuit with the logo he saw outside. 

He hated the word destiny, but maybe there was some of it sprinkled in seeing you again. 

“Hi!” 

Wonwoo’s voice came out a little louder than usual, making his friends turn to him with furrowed eyebrows. Soonyoung looked utterly confused while Jihoon just did his best to suppress the laugh that was bubbling inside his chest. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” you said, smiling brightly at him. 

Wonwoo was completely caught off guard when you took a step forward and wrapped your arms around his shoulder. It only lasted a second and it wasn’t enough for him to react and hug you back. 

Your cheeks had a light pink on them as you stepped back. He smiled once he noticed that your hand was balled into fists. 

“Sorry, my mom is a hugger so I just sort of hug people sometimes” you were quick to explain, waving your hands in front of yourself. 

You closed your eyes tightly, your cheeks getting even redder. Wonwoo thought that you looked cute that night at the party, but this version in front of him was much cuter. He pressed his lips together, trying not to smile too big. 

“Do I get a hug too?”

Soonyoung took a step forward, arms wide open, smile so big that Wonwoo wasn’t even sure his friend could see anything at all. Thankfully Jihoon was quick enough to pull him back and angry enough to hit him in the back of the head. 

“No…”  

You took another step back and raised your index finger at him. Your reaction alone was enough to pull an honest laugh out of Wonwoo. You seemed horrified by the idea which made him think that your earlier allegation of being a hugger was probably a lie. 

“How dense are you?” Jihoon whispered and shouted at Soonyoung. 

You lightly shook your head, maybe trying to shake off any sort of dizziness, before smiling again. 

“Which one of you is the one taking lessons?”

In the queue, Wonwoo felt two sets of hands at his back, pushing him forward. Both of his friends were holding back giggles. 

He had hated the idea of taking swimming lessons as an adult. His friends were irreducible in his learning though so he eventually just caved and did as they wanted. However, all of the cells in his body that were against it dissolved the second he saw you. Now, learning didn’t seem all that bad or all that weird. 

“Great! I need you to follow me to the back if that’s okay?” you pointed over your shoulder with your thumb “You need to fill out a form before we can get started”

Wonwoo nodded and followed you. He was naive enough to look back at his friends once and he was glad that you didn’t do the same. Jihoon was giving him a thumbs up, a weird-looking smile on his face, while Soonyoung would be screaming if he could, if not for the hand covering his mouth. 

He loved his friends, he really did, they were one of the reasons why Wonwoo even had any kind of social life, and they were there for him whenever he needed them, even if he just wanted to complain about something — Soonyoung was especially good at hating someone he had never met before just because Wonwoo complained once about said, person. 

In silence, he followed you to the back, eyes focused on your back. He had to force his eyes to stay on the back of your neck and not on the way your hips swayed deliciously from side to side while you walked. 

You sat down on one of the tables and smiled sweetly at the receptionist who handed you a sheet and a pen. You slid the paper across to Wonwoo, followed by the pen.  

“While you fill that out, I’m going to ask you a couple of questions”

Wonwoo was never that great at multitasking, so he was sure that he would either write his information down or he would talk with you. If he did do two things at once, most likely both of them would be half-assed. 

“Why are you taking swimming lessons?”

He paused writing and looked at you. It made sense that that was your first question, he would just like it if it wasn’t on the list. 

“I don’t know how to swim, so my friends thought that it was good a idea to sign me up for lessons”

You smiled and nodded at him, not a hint of judgment in your eyes. It was new. When he told people that he didn’t know how to swim people usually looked at him like he had four sets of arms, it was almost like the look one got when one heard that they could ride a bike. 

“Can you float on your back?”

He simply shook his head and kept writing his information down. It didn’t go unnoticed to Wonwoo how you pursed your lips together and tilted your head to the side. 

“Do you feel comfortable in the water at all?” you asked, slightly confused. 

Wonwoo set down the paper and pen, now fully looking at you. He wanted to avoid the conversation, yes, but he knew if there was one place he had to be honest, it was there, with you. 

“I’m not the biggest fan of water,” he said, voice low matching how his eyes were kept on the table the entire time. 

When Wonwoo was a kid, while on a trip to the beach with his parents, he was playing in the water when a wave forcefully took him away. He had tried to scream for help but instead of pushing his voice out, all he did was pull water into his lungs. According to his parents, the moment didn’t last for more than a few seconds but it was enough for him to never want to do anything with the water again.

It wasn’t a problem to be at a pool, like the one he was in, as long as his feet could touch the floor and he had enough space between where the water ended and his head. But he had never been to the beach again. Not that his friends hadn’t tried to convince him to go to the beach, just to feel the sand between his toes, they never even mentioned the idea of getting in the water. But Wonwoo refused every single time. 

Why would he go to a place that only brought him bad memories when he could simply pretend that synch place didn’t even exist in the first place? Of course, living in Sydney posed as a minor problem to that plan, but it had never stopped him before. 

And yet, somehow, he found himself in front of you, asking for swimming lessons. The fact that it was you made him somehow calmer if such a thing was even possible. 

“Can you get into the water or is that something we need to work on?” Wonwoo looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed “Some people come here and they have a rough time getting into the water, so it’s something we have to work slowly on. Is that the case with you?”

“Oh, no” he shook his head “I can get into the water just fine”

You smiled at him while you looked at his information. Wonwoo felt his insides twist a little when your smile slowly dropped. 

“Is everything okay?”

Your eyes left the paper for a second and you smiled again.

“Everything is fine” you put the paper on the table again, now fully ignoring it “Should we get started?”

“He is a cancer!” you wailed, dropping your head on the back of the couch. 

Of course, it made absolute sense that the most dreamy and perfect guy you had ever met, was a cancer. Of course! 

“What is she on about?” Kira asked, making a weird face. 

Nina simply sighed and nudged you, placing the wine glass into your hands

“It’s the guy from the party,” you said, sipping the wine “He came in today to take lessons and I saw his birthday. He’s a cancer”

Both of them nodded as if understanding what you were saying, but you knew that they couldn’t care less about it. Between the three of you, you were the only one who cared about star signs. You were always one to simply look into it once and let it go. It usually gives you a way to understand someone better. And while it could just be some harmless fun, you know yourself well enough to know that something you let get a little too much into your head. 

And you see, Wonwoo is a cancer, which in itself it’s not a real issue. Cancer men are known to be caring, loyal, and protective, all of which are great treats when you are in a relationship with someone, their groundedness is highly incompatible with Sagittarius women. They usually enjoy their time at home and are more on the introverted side. 

“Are you going to treat that as a problem?”

Nina had her eyebrow raised so high you were sure that if she pushed up a little more she’d be able to touch her hairline. 

“We are incompatible!” you cried, drinking the rest of the wine.

Both of your friends looked at you, knowing that the conversation would probably lead you to drink a little more than you needed, which in return would cause them problems. Truth be told you weren’t the best drinker out of the three of you. You were the worst of your group, to the point you avoided drinking out, but in the comfort of your home — or this case, Kira’s home — all bets were in and you could be as much of a bad drinking as you wanted to be. 

“You can’t let sun signs, moon signs, whatever it’s called, rule your relationship, babe,” Kira said, her voice sounding a lot like the one she usually used on the kids she teaches.

Kira was a kindergarten teacher, a real hero if you knew what one of those looked like

“Remember how you were over the moon after the party? You couldn’t stop talking about him and we all know that if you can’t stop talking, it also means that he was constantly in your mind as well”

Her tone was almost mocking you. The thing is your friends knew you, sometimes, better than you knew yourself.

“Do you remember Ben? He was a cancer” you said trying to prove a point, but knowing fully well that it meant nothing at all. Wonwoo and Ben couldn’t possibly be more different, even just at first glance. 

“Ben stole money from your wallet, used your card to his heart’s content, and then fled, making you pay for everything he ever bought. I’m sure Wonwoo is nothing like that”

You narrowed your eyes at her. She was defending Wonwoo a little too much. You knew Kira’s thoughts on your zodiac obsession and she was always quick to shut it down, but this time around, the way she was defending a man she had maybe seen for 5 seconds was a little suspicious.

“I agree with Kira,” Nina said, eyes still on her phone “Ben was a dick but Wonwoo might not be one. You said he was sweet at the party. Sorry I sort of ruined it for you that night”

Your friend smiled at you, her eyes a little sad. Nina had been the reason why Kira pulled you out of the party that night. She had been traveling for work and was in a car accident on the road on her way back to Sydney. She was fine, with no life-threatening wounds, but she was very nervous, understandably so. She was still insecure about being on the road again, but you were sure that she just needed a little more time. 

“It’s fine” You wrapped her shoulders with your arms, pulling her closer to you “No boy in the world is more important than you”

Your mind went back to the party and the way you felt that night, how you’d have stayed there the entire night with him unless you were pulled away — which eventually happened. Wonwoo talked about the moon and stars and you were that if he ever told you that he was the one responsible for hanging them up in the sky you would have probably believed him. 

“You’re so corny sometimes” She pushed you with her shoulder but made no real attempt to move away from you.

“You love me, so…”

“I guess the swimming lessons are much more interesting now, right?” Soonyoung teased Wonwoo.

Wonwoo simply rolled his eyes and kept his focus on the computer in front of him, making Jihoon snort by his side, which in return only made Soonyoung wine as he sat on the couch in the back of the room. Under normal circumstances, Wonwoo would probably already be home at such an hour but there were things that he needed to do if he wanted to have a truly off weekend. One when he could just focus on the lessons he was bound to have on Saturday. 

He was never one to anxiously wait for things, especially when those things had a lot to do with the water and yet there he found himself, wishing that Saturday morning came just a little faster than it usually did. 

For him, Saturdays mostly meant trying to come up with reasons as to why he wouldn’t be able to go somewhere with his friends. That was mostly Soonyoung, to be fair. His friend enjoyed being out and about, going to new places, and having new experiences. From time to time Wonwoo did too, but he liked his time alone time a little too much when it was just him and his stars. 

“It pains me to say this” Jihoon said with a sigh, almost as if he didn’t believe those words were coming out of his mouth “I agree with him. It looks a lot of fun now”

Jihoon and Soonyoung were a weird duo, that was for sure. They spent half of the time bickering like old men who have nothing else to do and the other half they were either in agreement or just pretending that the other didntdidn'tt. Somehow, it worked.

“I mean” Jihoon continued “She’s the girl from the party”

Wonwoo turned around in his chair, giving Jihoon a look with eyes wide. There was a reason why he didn’t mention you to Soonyoung, and it was quite simple: he would never hear the end of it and Soonyoung would, at the very least, contact every single person he knew at the party and ask if they knew you. His friend would stop until he found you and though seeing you again was something that he wanted, Wonwoo didn’t want to come across as someone who was desperate and maybe a little bit of a stalker. 

“What girl?”

He let his body slide down on the chair and closed his eyes. Wonwoo would never hear the end of it now with Soonyoung. 

“The party we managed to drag him to a couple of weeks ago? He met a girl there and she had to leave before he managed to ask for her number”

Another thing about the Soonyoung and Jihoon duo is that they like to gossip like teenagers. It’s the very stereotypical image of highschoolers whispering to each other in the hallways, except for the fact that they gossip about Wonwoo right in front of his face and there is nothing that he can do to just make them stop, and they haven’t been to a high school hallway in years. 

“Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Probably because you were too busy with whatever it is that makes you disappear at parties?”

The two of them exchanged a look and Wonwoo knew that they were talking without ever saying a single word. 

“So” Soonyoung turned to him again “you went to a party and talked to this girl”

“Kissed her, actually,” Jihoon said

Soonyoung’s body almost vibrated at the news and he was clapping his hands, making sounds that no human should ever be able to make. 

What is the closest emergency exit from here? Wonwoo couldn’t help but wonder. 

“This is the greatest day of my life” he laughed hysterically “You went to a party, something that on its own is already very out of character to you, you kissed a girl and now she’s your hot swimming instructor?”

He turned to Jihoon for approval, who simply nodded. 

“You should ask her out, she looked interested earlier  at the pool”

The image of you looking over his information and your smile slowly dropping came across Wonwoo’s mind and he couldn’t help but think that Soonyoung was wrong. Whatever it was that you say written there, which Wonwoo couldn’t possibly even phantom what it was considering that it was his most basic information, was enough to make you rethink something. 

“And she listed to you nerding out and still wanted to kiss you”

His mind drifted back to the night of the party. Wonwoo was certain that if you had stayed for a little longer he would have probably gotten your number and asked you out on the very next day and with some luck you would have said yes and who knew where it would go from there. 

“Oh, this just keeps getting better” Soonyoung clapped his hands.

“Again, this is very painful to say but I agree with Soonyoung, you should ask her out”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. Jihoon talked a big game about not agreeing with Soonyoung but he always did. They were always in the same frequency of decisions and Wonwoo was usually the one who had a different opinion. 

“And maybe, who knows, she might have thought about you as much as you thought about her these past few weeks?”

Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s arm, his eyes wide with uncontrolled excitement.

There was something different about the way Jihoon said it as if he was in some sort of secret that Wonwoo had no idea about. Of course that was the entire purpose of a secret but it felt different. 

“If I promise to think about it, will you” Wonwoo pointed at Soonyoung “stop this weird, whatever it is?”

Surprisingly enough, the pool was mostly empty during the weekends, hence why they usually closed at noon on Saturdays. Parents usually sent their kids during the afternoons and most adults preferred either early mornings or after hours so the weekends were usually pretty low and you’d rather be anywhere else than at work but Saturdays started to look so much better once Wonwoo’s name was written on the board, right under yours. 

After the initial minor breakdown

You sat down on the edge of the pool, your feet on the water while you waited for him. With each passing second you grew more anxious, your heart beating rapidly inside your chest in anticipation of what would happen. 

A part of you expected it to be just a regular class, with normal small talk. The other part, this one much more hopeful and highly unrealistic, hoped that you could pick up where you left off the night of the party. But the truth was that you had no idea what was about to happen. You were certain that there was a secret third option that you couldn’t see or even think of. 

You turned around when there was the distant sound of a door closing and a few seconds later Wonwoo walked in, in black swim shorts and a black t-shirt, a towel on his shoulder. He smiled at you while pushing his glasses back. 

For a moment it was like you were back at the party that night and he was all that you could see again. There wasn’t anything or anyone else there but even then the space seemed to disappear.

“Hi,” he offered once he stopped next to you. 

“Hey”

You got up and walked to the other side, removing your shorts and folding them over the side of a chair. Wonwoo followed suit, dropping his towel on the chair and then taking off his glasses and shirt. It took everything in you to keep quiet and not just fully ogle him. You almost had to hit your face to make yourself remember how to breathe properly again. 

"You ready?" you said without turning to him. 

The only answer Wonwoo had to give was a small ruff, in exchange for making you chuckle. Though it was funny, it was not the ideal. 

“Listen,” you turned to him, hands on your hips “If you’re uncomfortable we can reschedule or maybe not even do this at all”

Wonwoo looked at you, his eyes going a little soft as he sat down on the edge of the pool, mimicking your early stance. His eyes were focused on the water in front of him, unblinking. 

“I’m tall enough that my head will stay above water, right?” 

“Yes, you’re good until halfway”

He nodded his head, eyes until in the water. If the situation was any different you’d have cracked a joke or anything else that could somehow lighten up the mood but there was no room for that. 

“Let’s just get this over with”

Most of the hour you spent with Wonwoo in the pool was silent. It was mostly you talking and him listening, trying — and failing — to follow your instructions. You tried to crack the occasional small talk, but he was having none of it. You couldn’t help but wonder if his lack of enthusiasm, or interest, was because he was still uncomfortable or if it was because of how you had acted when he first came by to sign up for lessons. 

It took you a few hours, and three glasses of wine, to realize that you had made a face when you saw his birthday written. And it wasn’t a nice face, you were sure you scowled at the paper. Maybe it was that moment you ruined it all between you and Wonwoo. Or maybe, he was just really unhappy. 

“Are you okay?” you asked him once again, hand on his shoulder. 

You were honestly so worried about him that it was hard to ogle him. 

“Yeah, I’m just not a big fan of water, that’s all”

This time you put both of your hands on his shoulder, turning his body fully to you.  God, he is too handsome. Forget the whole “too worried to ogle” thing. His chest, his very naked chest, was right in front of your eyes. You were only human, a human that had dreamed of the man in front of her a few too many times and none of them had been pg-13. It was fine to appreciate someone’s beauty. 

“Listen to me, you don’t need to do this, okay?”

“This is Sidney,” he said as if that was enough explanation.

The only possible reaction was to roll your eyes at him. 

“Who gives a fuck where we are in the globe? Do you go to the beach? The pool? Boats? Loves to be on airplanes who happen to fly across oceans?” when his answer to all of your questions was no you shook his shoulders a little bit “Then you have no reason to learn how to swim. Right now you’re just torturing yourself”

Wonwoo sighed and nodded, but he still looked sort of weird, if you were one to tell considering how little you knew him. You raised your eyebrows at him, hoping that it was enough to get him to talk. 

“It’s just…” he seemed to struggle to get the words out “I want to see you again”

This time you didn’t even try to suppress your smile or the butterflies in your stomach.

“You could ask for my number and ask me on a date, you know?”

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[cloveroctobers]

RODEO — Javi Rivera.

A/N: got the chance to see twisters on my birthday and it ofc inspired me to finally write something for Anthony lol. This isn’t going to be anything big since I still want to be on break until late September early October. Am I going to give Javi the love his deserves or am I going to be messy? What type of summer is it? A brat girl summer…whatever that means 😉

WARNINGS: language + stepping out of relationships, mentions of another character from challengers, reader and Kate don’t get along, mentions of minor smut/sexual relations, and ended up different than I originally planned. Enjoy!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

A text on short notice never bothered you.

Granted you had to take a ride from Brooklyn to Manhattan but majority of the time Javi was considerate, letting you know when he was going to be on your new side of town—you were a South Carolina native—and the both of you would make it work. He had this experiment that he worked on with his old friend Kate that actually proved to work this time and with some other guy that had the widest laughter lines you’ve ever seen. A classic cowboy—you deemed him as—that looked awfully familiar when you met him in passing at a dinner you didn’t know you were “imposing” in on.

Kate’s words not Javi or the cowboy’s.

The trio were going back and forth to the city, mostly Kate and the cowboy you learned to be named Tyler but once Javi learned you were in the city too? (Apparently Kate found a home in New York also, working in Mahattan after what went down in Oklahoma five years ago.) He had no problem trying to get to you. You learned that Kate didn’t approve of what you two had going on (Javi let it slip one night as he smacked on some chips and you sipping on some terribly made Kombucha around the outside of the usual meet up spot once he touched down in NY), considering that you were engaged to someone else and that someone was slowly rising in the public eye, Patrick Zweig…you may or may not know him.

Tyler did.

To keep it short, this wouldn’t be the first time that you didn’t give a fuck about what Kate Carter had to say about you. Back in college the both of you tried to get along but it’s just the common case of two people not being able to mesh well. You didn’t appreciate how Kate always felt like she was right, sure the girl was crazy intelligent but she didn’t enjoy your sarcasm or want to listen to your opinions on anything, she found your lack of drive for storm chasing to be confusing on why you bothered to hang out with the group when that was their sole connection, and didn’t understand the relationship you had with her boyfriend, Jeb who was actually your friend first and you were the one who introduced them at a party—it was childish sure but even years later you didn’t need her judgment.

Which is why you and Javi were always discreet. Moments with your college friend in the present never felt like enough but reminded you that you often wondered what it would have been like if you had a different ring on your finger given to you by someone else. Javi always made it his mission to take it right off, slamming it in the drawer beside the bed before interlocking his fingers right with yours as he rocked you into the temporary mattress.

That never lasted long since you loved to be on top. Just ask Tyra’s problematic self! And who was Javi to say no, having you above him like this? like the true goddess that loved to be in control, you never left his mind, even when he struggled to keep his eyes open at the rotation of your hips. His fingertips would leave bruises but you never complained, you liked him leaving marks. Javi felt like this should be wrong, of course he cared about you, maybe even more than that, always did but he had his head turned in a different direction once upon a time. He wasn’t sure if your feelings were genuine or just something to pass the time but he was the first person you told that you didn’t want to marry Patrick after accepting his proposal.

People pleasing was never something that you often did so why were you settling for a man who was fucking around with not only his ex but some strangers on tinder? Javi did his research on your fiancé, some tennis athlete that didn’t have the best stats which was odd since it seemed like he was in his prime in college, Javi would give him credit on that, it was evident that this Patrick guy knew how to play yet something was missing in his gameplay. It was also safe to say that Javi didn’t think Patrick was even your type to be honest…but maybe you had other people in your head too much about where you should be in life.

When it was time to have those deep conversations, like you were nineteen again, present you didn’t want to hear it majority of the time with your fingers in his curls and another hand feeling a part of Javi that was always ready for you. Javi always cursed himself for folding every time you got your hands on him, he wanted to know what was going to become of this relationship but he couldn’t help it.

A piece of your heart was okay for a little while.

There was something about you that he never wanted to let go. You weren’t with the crew when that tornado touched down in Oklahoma that day, you got into an argument with Jeb that day for putting you on the back burner for their project, and as usual Javi checked in on you the best that he could since he was also part of the experiment. You brushed it off like you always did, tired of being the main one to put your frustrations out there; since you were basically the black sheep to the group and clocked into your shitty part time job with Javi promising that he would come check you out once they were done out there. The aftermath of it all also whipped through the friendship that was once there. There was tension no doubt, misdirected anger of course, your unresolved feelings for Jeb, Javi wishing he could have been at two places at once—as if he could have saved his friends from something so destructive with just his two hands. Kate became a ghost, you actually didnt have much to say to her like you thought you would, she was a walking frostbite, with a limp so prominent, disconnected, and leaving a numbing coldness trail behind her everywhere she went the longer she stayed in Oklahoma. It was sad because you knew she had to witness it all and that would forever haunt her.

Unfortunately that bitterness gave you joy. Javi dropped out of college but you kept at it, to distract you from the what if’s along with the great loss and when he thought the military was his best option, you tried to beg him to stay with a kiss that wasn’t the answer to your shared pain. He’s done the dissociating shit before as a way of grieving, he just hoped that you being with him now wasn’t your way of escaping whatever you were still running from.

Storm chasing wasn’t really your thing, don’t think you didnt try but Kinesiology and bull riding was more of your passion. Javi liked to trace and kiss those scars on your body because of that old hobby when you allowed him to hold you afterwards but he had them memorized just like you with his freckles. Yet you still kept coming around which really confused Kate but you got along with everyone else for the most part. The dance parties and stick and poke tattoos with Addy, the 150 questions the hypochondriac Praveen had for you about body horror stories he caught himself reading and watching! And wanting to know what proper care he would have (as if you were suddenly a doctor and not a kinesiology major) to take if that ever happened to him—getting struck by lighting wasn’t enough to get him to stop storm chasing but it was his life and he lived it how he wanted, and then there was Jeb. You used to be able to catch each other’s eyes from across the room and send each other ridiculous facial expressions before carrying on and eventually finding each other later. The shift in your friendship changed once you got left outside of the team. You began to connect with party-man Javi once Jeb started to slip away and build something more with Kate.

It’s always funny how that works out in friend groups isn’t it?

Coming in sync was always something you made your priority. Knowing Javi’s ticks and studying not only his face but his body always made you kick it up a notch, just crossing a boundary that you knew he would try to tap out but you proved to know his body better than he did himself and Javi honestly wanted to hate you for it but couldn’t.

He didn’t think anybody could lock you down—not even your fiancé—and it was something he always thought of when you put your back to him and let him to hold you while you briefly checked your phone.

No new messages from the Fiancé!

Javi peeped.

This Patrick guy didn’t give a fuck about you, just liked having a place to rest his head in instead of his car that you probably paid majority of the rent on. That’s right, Javi always remembered your blabbering once you had too many aperol spritz and what seemed to open you up more on a personal level lately.

“Want something from the café downstairs?” You asked, turning your phone face down to peek back at Javi who was still panting.

Javi slowly blinked, lifting his head in search of the alarm clock to find out what time it is.

[1:40 am]

You were making it your mission to try everything at least once on the menu every time Javi flew in. It was your usual hotel with a delicious café and you just about finished everything on the lunch and dinner menu except for two items that didn’t seem that appetizing to you. This time around you snuck up behind Javi and his laptop while he was downstairs about to dig into one of the dinners he wouldn’t share with you at one of the high rise tables…you were onto the breakfast menu.

He slips his free arm to caress the bone by your ear, “I want you.”

You snort, “I’ll give you another round when you can handle it, preferably in the shower since I’m meeting the girls at 8 for hot yoga. Breakfast can come as early as 6.”

The freckled face man fought the urge to roll his eyes at this. Since when the hell were into hot yoga of all things? The rough around the edges person seemed to be morphed into something else but Javi knew you were still in there somewhere. Don’t get him wrong, Yeah people grow and you’re into what you want to be into but he would have never guessed you hanging out doing yoga or brunch or even having a routine. Maybe axe throwing but he guessed he better be thankful for the yoga since you seemed to be more flexible every time the both of you tried a new position.

Javi tossed in, “is your bitch of a soon to be husband, Patrick joining in on that session?”

You quirk up a brow at this energy but don’t work to defend him, “…never mix business with pleasure.”

Which meant that you never brought multiple parties into your relationship together. He did his thing and you did yours. Patrick was never faithful to you, you knew it and Javi knew it too, you couldn’t be upset about it because you never truly wanted to marry him. There was no wedding date set because frankly the both of you were still young and trying to figure it out. It was selfish since you were still holding out hope that Patrick will actually make something of himself but you both weren’t sure if you even liked each other besides having nightcaps or getting people off your backs when you were seen together. The both of you were lonely, him more than you—if you wanted to make it a competition but it’s what worked and it didn’t need to make sense. It just made Patrick’s family (who were a lot to handle and always kept referring to two of his exes before you in front of you) happy that he had a “stable” person in his life for once and it got your parents off your back—some—but not without their own sly comments.

“Is that what your relationship is?”

You shrug, “yeah.”

“And what about us?”

You turn your face away to reach for the card, “i think you’ll like the BLT French toast or even the prosciutto toast—

He nudges your face back to meet his sunlit honey eyes and there wasn’t an ounce of humor in them. “Listen, I’m serious. We got too much history to keep downplayin’ this. I’m moving back to Miami by the end of the summer and I just want to know how much longer we’re gonna keep doing this. Is this only just sex for you or what?”

Javi’s thumb burns into your skin now and his stare is sharp. You try not to get lost in his eyes and the tightness in your chest isn’t the most pleasant. You’re scared and have been scared before with Jeb but there’s no risk without action. Or whatever it is they say.

“…if you’re in love with me, just say that.”

Javi blinks, “What I know is that you won’t be marrying Patrick Twig—

“That’s not—

“I’m not done.”

Javi ignores the tilt of your head at his command, “You’re better than this and I know you see that when you look in the mirror. Maybe you didn’t fully heal yet and that’s not me tryin’ to disrespect you or nothing but I’m just callin’ it like I see it. I could give you the world besides just this or shit, as least try to but only if that’s what you want because I know what you need and it definitely ain’t a bozo who can’t even take care of what he thinks is his.”

You can always count on Javier Rivera to tell you exactly how it is. He was on your case about your feelings for Jeb just like you were with his with Kate but that all changed once the two started dating. It would have made sense for the both of you to gravitate towards each other then but the need to compensate for what you both missed out on wasnt fulfilling that void with forced love. It was platonic then but what was it now?

“…Do you think I’m yours?”

Javi puffs out a breath at this, “respectfully, imma need you to stop answering me with questions and just be honest with yourself and me. I don’t know how much longer I can keep holding out.”

“But you don’t, not unless I say so anyways.” You wink reaching to caress the back of his shoulder blade but Javi isn’t budging, which makes you sigh, “…okay fine. I hear you, you don’t want to be in a situationship with me anymore.”

Javi nods and awaits for you to say more but the glazed over look in your eyes, tells him that you’re trying to get out of this and he won’t lie, it stings.

“Here’s the thing,” you start with an intake of breath, “you’re right, I’m probably never going to marry Patrick. We’re equally each other’s placeholders, as fucked up as it sounds it’s true. As for this…”

Javier swallows the lump in his throat, just waiting on you to break his heart.

“You’re not the first person to pull this. It’s not my first rodeo…and no that doesn’t mean I’ve been with anyone else outside of you. I wouldn’t do that, not to you. You’re too important.” You admit, “and if we’re gonna do this…I just need you to be patient with me.”

A grin splits onto Javi’s face then, “so that does mean you love me?!”

“…I didn’t say all that.”

He smooches your cheek multiple times that makes your nose crinkle, “you didn’t have to, I can just tell.”

“How?” You ask as he rests his head back on the cloud-like pillow beside yours.

Javi hums, “I’m real in touch with my feminine side you know? Raised by my mom and aunties, got a sister that really wants to meet you—

“Huh? What?”

“Baby steps though,” Javi promises seeing the smidge of panic in your eyes, “I just need more confirmation that you’re going to try this with me. And that you’re not gonna run away since that is kinda what we all do.”

It was your turn to be vulnerable like Javi knew you could be. So you turn to face Javi, face to face and take a moment. “…I can’t say that I’m not scared and not of you but just the idea of actually being loved more than the intimacy and I’m sure you’re more than capable of giving that to me…it’s just that I get in my head a lot.”

Javi nods, “well it’s okay to be scared…Rome wasnt built in a day. We’ve been diligent—

“What if this doesn’t work—

“Nah, we’re not gonna back out when we just started.” Javi slips his hands down to clasp your hands in his, “We keep going, we love, we share—

“Just like your sandwich last night?”

Javi snorts, “we’re all works in progress, don’t hold that against me, baby.” He pecks your hands while you laugh a little, “we do what feels right and I got to ask, does this feel right to you as it does for me?”

You press your forehead against his, “every time I’m with you it does…as much as I try to block you out when we’re away from each other…I can’t. I wont.”

Javi pulls back to kiss your forehead, “bet. Feelings mutual and i just needed to hear you say it so…now that we’re on the same page…go ahead and order me that prosciutto and meet me in the shower.”

He’s kicking the covers back as you sit up on your elbow, “I’m not debating over which asscheek of yours is bigger than the other again.”

Javi sucks his teeth as leans against the doorway of sliding bathroom door in all his naked glory, “you pointed that out, I just wanted to know if the freckles on my left asscheek were also shaped like a palm tree like the ones on my chest.”

Scrunching up your nose, you hold your hand up in the air as if that defense was any better. Javi’s laughter suddenly turns dark as he takes in your appearance and slowly steps back as something stands to your attention.

“So…you joinin’ me or are you just going to continue watching the show?” He points behind himself, slowly stepping back.

Sighing you fold your arms back behind you, “ah…I’ll think about it finster.”

Javi sucks his teeth, stomping right back into the room to yank the tight hotel sheets back from the bed making you hiss at the coolness of the AC. “No way you just compared me to a rugrat.”

He pulls you right into his arms, limbs locking around him easily as you toy with the ends of his curls as he spins you around to lead you right into the bathroom, “did I?” You tease, bumping your nose against his before pulling back, “wait! You didn’t let me order.”

“Guess we’re skipping breakfast now and you might be late to yoga, sorry not sorry.” He mutters before slamming his lips right against yours.

Your thighs alone clench right around his hips as Javi slips his tongue along the shape of your lips while feeling around for the shower latch.

This time around, as sure as you are of the racing of your heart, you’re willing to let Javi lead this round…for now.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

read more twisters anthology fics here.

[silenttrxxs]

-professor! choi san x reader

Exam season the hardest time for anyone, the days melding into one as you desperately try to pass your degree, even at the lowest grade it would be something. But you had a problem. A huge handsome problem staring you in the face every single day.

Your professor. Everyone was oogling… who could blame them really it wasn’t everyday a uni would employ such a fresh face, every other professor looking like they walked out a retirement home.

This one though, god he was something else, you’d just lost the previous professor something to do with being caught with drugs or something in the uni which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. The day he walked into the lecture hall it seemed the world just stopped. The entire lecture feeling like it was going on forever and it was a welcome change to the usual mundane clock watching during the previous lectures.

A snap of his fingers in your face snapped you out of your days. Forgetting where you was for a moment lost in thought… well that’s what you told everyone but really you was trying your hardest not to drool. Watching his every single move. His voice low and husky, sending shivers down your spine even if he was speaking about how plants soak up the sun and some other biological nonsense that you already knew.

“Y/N attention up here please, you’re day dreaming again… dont make me have to write you up. You’re already dropping below half the students here…” he spoke your face reddening as you looked up, trying to avoid his gaze, the white shirt and glasses not helping you one tiny bit. You crossed your legs and sat up more promising to pay more attention to the lecture.

He scoffed and watched the reaction slyly and smirked to himself walking back to his desk and leaning against it, concluding the lecture for the day and dismissing everyone.

“Y/N a word please” he spoke before you could reach the door.

turning around and looking up at him.

“Yeah what’s up?” You said gripping onto you backpack and trying to will away the heat spreading across your cheeks.

“What’s going on, why is someone as smart as you failing this course, you know im not just a professor i am also human and i believe its only fair to offer help when needed” san says, smiling softly and looking at you.

You shrug unable to explain yourself.

“Im disappointed in you y/n i thought you’d be better than this… dont play coy, i know I’ve got everyone oogling but i only have eyes for one person right now” he walks over his gaze falling down travelling over your face.

Your breath hitches at the closeness, you can feel the heat radiating from your body and his. Before you could utter a word you feel your body being moved, you knees against the cold oak desk.

“Sir what are you doing” you manage to whine out a little your excitement and arousal already dripping from you. The short dress you chose to wear leaving nothing to the imagination.

Your back arches as a hand is caressing your scalp, fingers dancing along before tugging harshly. “Just take this as a private lesson, maybe after this you might focus a little better..” san says his voice low and husky, his breath hot against your ear.

“S-sir, f-fuck” you moan out as you feel a hand dropping between you both, your dress lifted up, and panties now slide to the side, his fingers dancing over your now soaked core.

“F-fuck you’re dripping darling, is this what you day dream about huh? My fingers deep inside you, bringing you closer and closer by the second” he says, his fingers pressing into you, your body clenching around him with every word.

A whine leaves your throat before you could catch it, your body falling against the table, knuckles white as you grip onto the desk, trying so hard to ground yourself as the white hot heat envelopes you.

“S-sir p-please” you moan out, not sure what you’re exactly begging for but the way his fingers are curling inside you, and the grip on your hip driving you insane.

“Good girl, you’re learning… now I want you to ride me, I want to see how much of a good listener you are” he says his cock throbbing in the right restraints of his trousers. He fumbles with the zipper freeing his aching cock and sitting in his chair. Legs spread slightly, accommodating the way his cock was stiff, aching and red, leaking with precum.

You let your mouth hang open, drool forming as you take in the sight before you. Obeying his command you find yourself discarding your bag, your legs straddling him and your tight heat enveloping his cock. The sight is unbelievably hot. You throw your head back as you feel him throbbing inside you with every clench until you bottom out.

“F-fuck o-oh my god s-sir” you moan as you feel his hands on your hips again, his nails digging deliciously into your flesh. You movements being guided, a steady rhythm being created between you both. Before it’s cut short, a hand comes to your jaw, pulling you gaze to his face, his glasses slightly down his face… his eyes filled with pure primal lust as you feel him fuck into you, hips snapping as your skin slaps together, you’re dripping now you’re sure he’s coated in your arousal. “F-fuck d-don’t stop p-please oh… oh fuck” you moan out your climax approaching before it’s cut dead. Movements halted.

“Show me. Show me if you’ve learnt anything gorgeous.. I can’t do everything for you… you got to work for it” San says his body falling back resting against the chair, his gaze falling over your body, drinking you in with pure lust.

A scream leaves your body as you move almost instantly, your hips moving and bouncing on his cock. You feel him deep inside you, his cock throbbing inside you. Your hands on his shoulders, your gaze locked with his with every single movement. The room is filled with almost pornographic noises.

“G-good girl, finally… you’ve learnt well.. now… l-let me teach you something new” San says before lifting you off him, positioning himself behind you, your body bent over the desk before pounding into you again, his hips thrusting into you with so much force the pot of pens that were sitting there now discarded on the floor. You feel him lifting your leg up to rest on the table, the new position allowing him to fuck into you harder and deeper.

You let out a scream as a wave hits you, your climax approaching so fast you see white. The growl behind you signalling another wave to course through you. “F-fuck s-sir” you moan out as he continues his pace. Flipping you over and fucking into you harder his hand coming to wrap around your throat as he watches the way you come undone. Completely and utterly wrecked by his body.

“What have we learnt baby” he says thrusting into you with each word.

You’re done your mind completely blank of all thoughts, his got you under his control. Submitted fully to him.

“O-oh my god” is all you can manage to say. Your eyes rolling back as he squeezes your throat cutting your air supply a little, his hips snapping into you with even more force.

“Oh sweetness… your fucked dumb now aren’t you… not a single thought in that pretty little head” San says his tone condescending but my god is it sending waves of pleasure through your body. Your gripping onto him, tugging at his shirt.

“P-please I’ll be a good girl… please I’m gonna come again” you moan out your eyes looking into his, you’re voice laced with longing.

“S-sir please” you moan again as you feel him throbbing inside you, signalling he is also close.

His movements halt to a stop. A strangled whine leaves your body at the feeling. You look up. His eyes are half lidded with primal fury as he grips your hair pulling you and guiding you onto your knees.

“Only good girls get to come baby…” San says before standing over you. Stroking himself in front of you and releasing over your face.

“Now answer me darling… are you going to do better” he says. Looking down at you and smirking before fumbling with his trousers and sitting down on his chair.

[tragedybunny]

Helloooooooooo! I saw that you were taking Astarion requests, and I’ve had something living rent free in my head for awhile nowwwww.

Basically, how would Astarion do with an s/o who is able to handle him well because of their own traumatic past? Maybe s/o came from a controlling/abusive household, so they already had to teach themself what a stable relationship looks like, and can now apply that here.

Essentially, I keep thinking about Astarion talking about how “patient” tab is with him when romantically involved, and I just keep thinking of s/o responding by saying “someone had to be patient with me too, Astarion. I learned the importance of it from that”

This has been awhile, I hope I put something together that works. Apologies for the wait. 💖

Until the World Falls Down - Astarion x F!Reader -

Love isn't always easy, but Astarion is worth having patience for.

You weren’t sure exactly where the argument came from or how it reached a boiling point at such speed. Astarion had been complaining that your house, the little house in the lower city that you loved so much because it belonged to the two of you, didn’t feel terribly secure. True, it was left empty while you traveled, looking for a way he could walk in the sunlight again, but Dammon was stone’s throw away, along with a number of the other tieflings from the Grove. When you’d been asked by the city’s rulers what you wanted in return for your heroics, a place you and him could call home was all you could think of. 

“I’m just saying we could look for something else,” he snips, pushing things further.  

There’s a rising pounding in your head, he’s giving into the paranoia. This was the inheritance passed down from Cazador, an endless fountain of ill that also included outbursts of anger, fits of melancholy, and more guilt than you could have ever imagined he was capable of. “Love,” you try your best to diffuse it, something you’ve grown well practiced with, “this is our home, I don’t want to change it.” 

He snorts, “I don’t know why I expected you to understand, you had all the safety and security in the world and ran from it.”

The words sting in a way you’re not prepared for, it’s not the first time he’s lashed out at you, but he’s never weaponized your past before. “Astarion, that…that hurts.” 

“What? It’s the truth, a pampered little noble girl who fled her sheltered life, because it was what, boring? Do you know what I would’ve given to be in your place?” 

You stare at him wide-eyed, gasping at what feels like a ruptured wound in your chest. There’s only been bits and snatches of your past he’s been able to learn, the Warlock pact making it impossible to reveal all. But it’s shattering to have that little bit he knows turned on you. Fingernails curling into the palms of your hand, you try to steady your breathing, reminding yourself he really doesn’t know everything, he can’t tell how deeply those words cut. But you’re no saint, sometimes the pain is too much. “Gods, you really don’t care if you hurt me, do you?” All you’ve ever asked of him is love, and you die a little inside when he can’t seem to give it, even if you know why. “I need some air,” turning you stalk away from him and your little kitchen you adore, where tea sits now growing cold, towards your front door, tears blossoming that you fight, and memories you've locked away pushing to the front of your mind. 

Maybe it’s your words, maybe it’s the hard reality of your hand pulling the door open, but behind you, Astarion quietly exclaims,“no.” He sounds far away though, sounds and shapes from another time clouding your senses. 

Beyond your threshold, Baldur's Gate bustles in the early dawn light, but you only see bleak halls, filled with looming dread, and hear the whispers of the House of Air and Darkness. Push past it, you tell yourself, one foot crossing into the warm light. You're running, maybe that's what you're good at, maybe he's right, you run when you shouldn’t. Another breath, you're standing just outside the door. The noise of the city starts to pull you out of the past. 

A hand grabs at your’s. “Don’t leave m-” his words end in a hiss of pain.

Shaking your head, you finish pushing back at the past to find Astarion’s hand clutching yours, starting to smolder in the sun. “Astarion, stop.” 

“No, what if you don’t come back?” He’s frantic, tugging you back toward the shelter of the darkness inside the door. The scent of his flesh starting to singe fills your nostrils. The churning maelstrom of emotions hasn’t calmed enough, leaving you rooted where you stand. “Damn it,” grimacing, he takes a step forward, towards you, towards the light. 

As though you’d been under a slow spell that finally releases you, there’s understanding, and you lunge toward him, pushing him back into the safety of your home, door slamming in your wake. Arms wrap around him as he clings to you, he’s quivering. Sinking to the floor, the sounds of rough sobbing start to escape from him. “I’m sorry Love,” you whisper, trying your best to soothe him, while your own mind recovers.  

Words tumble out between fits of crying. “Not your…sorry…don’t know why…didn’t mean that…don’t leave me.” 

“Hush, Sweetheart, I promise I’m not going anywhere.” It aches inside, you didn’t mean to frighten him. 

With gentle words and touches, you try to calm him until he finally stills in your arms. “Why?” 

“What?”

“Why aren’t you leaving? Why do you stay? I’m a monster, no better than Cazador, turning your words back on you to torture you.” There’s no tears, but you realize it’s only because he’s too tired to keep crying. 

“You are not a monster Astarion, your emotions get the better of you sometimes.” Leaning down, you kiss the crown of his head, his forehead, his cheek, anywhere you can get. “I know you’re trying.” 

“How can you be so patient with me?” His hand searches out yours. 

Once, you lived in a world where only power mattered, where your parents would’ve given you to a monster to secure their place. But you were shown a better way. “Someone was patient with me too once. She showed me how to love, I think she saved my life.” You stop there, knowing the price for saying more. 

Astarion doesn’t ask either, understanding you can’t. “I can do better,” he promises earnestly.

“I know you will, but you’re still healing. And I’m sorry I let it get to me.” 

“No,” quickly, he sits, eyes locked onto yours, “you have feelings too, and it’s not fair for me to hurt you just because I hurt. I will do better, you deserve better from me, after everything you’ve done.”

You look at him, a teary wreck, and realizing you’re probably not much better yourself, lose yourself to an unexpected giggle. "Gods, we're a mess. I love you." 

"Speak for yourself, I'm perfection." he laughs, laying his head back on your shoulder. "I love you too, more than anything."

[epickiya722]

Okay, I read what I can from the epilogue and I just want to put out that I'm not saying I'm right about anything I say here because it's not an official release and I read from fan translations.

『Also refer to this post and this one!』

So, again, I was right about Ozawa meeting Yuji again and they have a little heart to heart.

Talking about snow, what they're doing in the same place, bit about Shibuya, it was cute.

But the ending of it was more open ended (which isn't something I hate to be honest).

Before anyone goes "Oh, they pulled a MHA 431, it's so homophobic", I get that it might feel that way but... in no way did Yuji express anything romantic to Ozawa, let alone any kind of feelings for her. Like, let's take a step back FOR ONCE and analyze what's up here. Here, take my hand. Come on and follow along with me.

If anything, from his side, he thinks she is a cool girl. However, he still barely knows her and I doubt him if confessed to he would be like "Oh, I like you like that, too, Ozawa! Let's date!" She's, at best, an acquaintance. Someone in passing, someone he did go to middle school with.

So, her epilogue isn't even homophobic. At best, it's once again just Ozawa being all starry eyed over Yuji who doesn't know how she feels.

It's actually sad when you think about it.

In no way is her feelings are mutual. If Yuko was looking for love, Yuji may not be that person for it. I get it, sometimes you'll have feelings for the one person who was nice to you, but that doesn't mean it will be the only person.

Yuko being too busy hung up on Yuji may have missed a person who likes in the way she likes Yuji. What if there was someone else who did pay attention to the way she writes? Who did meet her at some point and got to know her and liked her for who she was?

And if not that, Yuko should have took Yuji's words to heart and realized how great she is and learn to love herself a little more.

The thing about the middle school flashback I feel, isn't just a flashback about her, but also to show the kind of person he is.

It shows that he's attentive and thoughtful. But also that his actions tend to be swayed by other people, even forcefully. Which happens often for Yuji. He told those boys he didn't like anybody and when asked again if he had to choose, he choose someone who he thought was a neat person. Those boys forced Yuji to give another answer despite him saying he didn't like anybody the first time.

If anything, that flashback serves as a more gentle example of who Yuji is contrasting to Rin, another person who knew Yuji when he was a middle schooler (Rin is actually older than Yuji). In Rin's flashback, we see Yuji defend a kid that was being picked on.

Yuji was being attentive, he didn't ignore a kid being bullied. He stepped up and told them to leave him alone and when they didn't and decided to charge at Yuji, he was then forced to act violently. In turn, Rin was left with the impression he had of Yuji, just as Yuko was.

Bringing up the snow bit, it was cute. I liked it! Yuji being compared to snow. But this is not the first time someone has came across Yuji and thought of snow.

What was the incident they bring up this chapter? The Shibuya Incident, right. And who did Yuji have to fight and had cowering by the end of it? Mahito, yes, him. And other than a wolf, what else did Mahito imagine when he became fearful of Yuji? SNOW!

So like with Rin, Mahito's perception of Yuji is opposite of Yuko's. She got to experience a gentle side which she admires. Rin and Mahito got his violent side, which they feared.

With all that being said, even with this epilogue ending the way it did, it doesn't smell "canon" to me. Especially, on Yuji's end of things.

Yuji may have a type of girl he likes, but he is also someone who doesn't express romantic interest in anybody.

While this is Yuko's epilogue, I do feel like she is also just another character to showcase the kind of person Yuji can be. She being present shows a gentle side of him while characters like Rin and Mahito shows his violent side.

And no, again, I don't think this means they're canon. So I beg, certain shippers who like the same ship I do, don't jump on Yuko, Yuji or Akutami for thinking this is some homophobic chapter when the romance between a girl and a boy here once again went nowhere.

It really didn't feel like Akutami-sensei was really trying to make them canon. And given the track record of F/M ships in this series? Yeah... no...

[undiscovered-horizon]

Return to sender - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[graphic descriptions of violence/injury]

SUMMARY: Someone from your past keeps sending you unambiguously romantic letters. While you think of them as nothing beyond an inconvenience, Kaz has a different opinion.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.9k

A/N: I'm going through the first editorial correction for my novel and as it turns out, I can't speak my own mother tongue lmao

Kaz has an eye for details. Whether it’s a pattern or an overlooked design, he always notices. That set of skills, either he learned them or was born with them, made it painfully obvious to him that your foul mood coincided with correspondence he never saw you actually read. The letter usually ends up in the nearest fireplace, its secrets never uncovered and you maunder around the club looking for a fight or a strong drink. A much bigger problem, however, was the fact that if you were in a sour mood, Kaz would become exceptionally chippy without an apparent cause. ‘Care for my investment’ he calls it, which makes a rather amusing euphemism.

In any event, he knows that the letter should arrive today. Exactly seven weeks had passed since the last time some mysterious correspondence pissed you off and the sender, as far as Kaz has noticed, is like clockwork. Strangely enough, he can’t recall a day when the letter should arrive that you’d come to the club already annoyed as though he has become privy to a rather obvious pattern that you remain oblivious to. If so, he has even more advantage - he can solve this inconvenience behind your back, in case you’d try to dismiss him. He wouldn’t listen anyway, of course. Not when it comes to you.

Knowing very well that you have a habit of arriving shortly after Inej, he’s quick to find the thief before you even get a chance of catching wind of his scheme. She’s fixing her clothes when she spots him hastily limping towards her with his face turned nearly into a snarl. A hand brushes through his hair. He’s agitated. But Inej knows better than to make the first move against the unmovable mountain. Kaz sought her out, after all, and if he means business, he won’t waste time.

And he does just as she thought. Speaking in a low tone, Kaz makes her part of his conspiracy: “Inej, I need you to do something but no one else can know. Someone will deliver a letter today. Follow them and find out as much as you can,” his voice is stern, not accepting refusal. The matter appears urgent, of utter importance.

Her keen gaze studies his face for a moment, looking for any way even the slightest tick of muscles could reveal a further piece of the mystery she isn’t yet privy to. “Is this about the new job we’re doing?” She elegantly manoeuvres around the subject.

Kaz knows what she’s trying to do. He clenches his jaw and gives her a blank, although somewhat impatient, look before slowly answering: “It’s rather loosely related.”

This is enough to put her curiosity on hold - for now, at least. The unmovable mountain remains, well, unmovable. Inej nods. “I’m on it.”

The moment she ends her sentence, the door to the club opens with a creek echoing through the otherwise empty venue, immediately earning the undivided attention of Kaz and Inej. The sound of heels against the wooden floor is unmistakable as is the fitting, rather short, coat. Inej smiles, stifling laughter as she notices Kaz immediately straightening his back when he sees you.

There’s a certain spring to your step, one that Kaz has learned to associate with complacency. Although this joyous aura is making his mind turn into quicksand swallowing anything coherent, he’s got enough grip on his thoughts to render his theory proved - you really do not have any idea that the letters come regularly. 

With a triumphant grin, you wave a scroll in his face. “I had a hunch and did some browsing at the city archives. You’re going to love it.”

Inej is gone and the only thing Kaz can do at the moment is wait along with trying his best not to think about this mail fiasco. But considering you’ll spend the entire day a mere inch or two away from him, he’s hardly going to do much thinking anyway. 

“Let’s see it then,” Kaz interposes before turning around and walking back to his office. 

Making his way to Brekker’s office, Jesper examined the expensive stationery from every side and angle. No matter the perspective, the cursive letters on the front still spell out your name. Truthfully, he does that every time you receive mail, mainly because of how little you talk about the possible sender. There’s always a huff, an eye-roll and the envelope ends up turned into ashes, without any further explanation. You become short-tempered for the rest of the day and go ballistic on anyone trying to inquire about the mysterious correspondence. As much entertainment as it usually brings Jesper, he’s smart enough to know when to stop poking the bear.

Jesper knocks on the door but opens them right after - announcing his arrival rather than asking for permission to enter. 

“...smuggling through the sewers.” He hears you finishing your sentence.

Both you and Kaz simultaneously tear away your gaze from the maps scattered on the table and bore your eyes into Jesper with anticipation. He lifts the letter, wriggling his wrist slightly, and immediately your expression falls. You clench your fist. A contemptuous grimace creeps onto your face.

“Letter for you,” he announces.

“By the Saints, not this again,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“What do you mean again?” Jesper asks casually, half expecting you to break his hand and half hoping for an answer. Today, as it turns out, is his lucky day.

“A friend once convinced me to go to some socialite high tea with her. I met someone there, we wrote to each other a few times and then he started to be obnoxious, the whole ‘woe is me’ lark.” The memory must still be vivid to you as you let out an annoyed sigh. “He claimed he can’t live without me while never spelling my name correctly. But since I value myself a little too much to waste my time on pity parties, I simply stopped replying. The last letter I sent him, I don’t know, three years ago? And he just keeps coming back.” You clench your jaw, clearly stopping yourself from a string of profanities considered obscene even in this company.

Jesper puts on a playful grin. “You know, you never struck me as someone who’d have a secret admirer.”

Your irritated gaze makes him equally amused and nervous. “He’s not exactly secret, is he? More of a returning cockroach infestation. Worry not, boys, I’ll just burn this one like the rest and we can all forget about this little perplexity.”

“Come on, you’re not even a little bit curious about what’s inside?” Jesper coaxes as he hands you the letter.

“Believe me when I tell you that I don’t give a rat’s bald ass about this man and his pathetic wax poetic.” You snatch the envelope, all the while looking at your friend with squinted, piercing eyes. Considering who you are, a complete lack of curiosity whatsoever might as well be a symptom of a lethal disease.

In that short moment, when the stationery goes from Jesper’s hand into yours, Kaz watches the letter as closely as he can. Smooth paper, probably expensive. Careful lettering, written with patience and thoughtfulness. An aroma of mint and tobacco lingers on the parchment. The stamp has the current date on it and the postal code is only a few numbers away from the club’s - whoever sent it is in Ketterdam and quite close by.

Kaz makes those little observations just in time because you throw the letter into the fireplace behind him, without even glancing at the paper. The flames grow for a few seconds, devouring the dry stationery. Soon, there’s no evidence that any mail has been delivered to you on this day.

“Now, where were we?” You clap your hands. “Ah, sewers.” Jesper takes the change of subject as his cue to leave but you stop him right when he pushes down the door handle. “Oh, and Jesper? If you tell Inej, I’m ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it.”

He looks at you over his shoulder, a newfound sense of anxiety turning his vivid amusement into somewhat tame courtesy, leaving his smile unfaltering but tearing away the genuine joy behind it. “I will keep this enlightening piece of advice in mind, thank you.”

The door clicks as Jesper closes it behind himself. Returning to your previous engagement, you stumble upon Brekker’s stern gaze of disapproval. 

“Do not maim my investments.” Although it’s supposed to be a scolding or a threat, it comes out with a certain note of disinterest.

“Don’t try playing all nice, Kaz. You and I both know you’d watch for like ten minutes before stepping in.”

His gloved finger taps the map. “Sewers.” 

You mumble something along the lines of ‘yes, sir’ and pick up the single-handed divider again. Kaz examines your face out of the corner of his eye. Judging by your casual demeanour, the palm’s length between your heads is of no bother to you. Maybe you’re just too busy counting the segments with the divider. When you’re done, you reach for the other side of the desk, for a moment leaving broody Kaz to the, surprisingly cold, lukewarm air filling the room.

This day just can’t seem to end for Burr Lowther. First, he had to take his regular trip into the filth of the Barrel, he shudders at the memory, only to then spend another ten hours at the sewing workshop. Being a foreman pays exceptionally well and perhaps this is the only reason he’s still putting up with those lazy needlewomen. 

Putting his well-kept coat on the hanger by the front door, Burr lets out a sigh of relief - compared to the factory, his house is a quiet oasis. He remembers to take out a pouch and a box of expensive cigars from his coat. Without much thinking, he opens the small bag and puts another leaf of mint between his teeth. What started first as an addition to his personal hygiene, has quickly become a habit impossible to kill. Now used to the strong, chilly sensation on his tongue, he’s grown to like it. 

The house is drowning in darkness. Dim, yellow light from the streetlamps crawling in through the windows is barely enough to let him make his way around the furniture. Foreman Lowther is yet to start the fire in his living room but he needs to be quick - if he stalls too long his joints will begin to hurt. Even with laudanum, the ache is bound to keep him up for hours and that’s something he can’t afford. But first, he needs some light to be able to get the necessary things.

Chewing on the herb, Burr walks to the table across the room from the fireplace. He puts the new box of cigars down and begins looking for something to light the oil lamp. Once he blindly finds a box of matches, his muscle memory does most of the job - he’s lit up the lamp far too many times to think about the actions. In swift, mechanical motions, Burr takes off the chimney, lights the wick and puts the glass part back on. The fire brightens the rest of the table, reminding the foreman that he forgot to put away the made-to-order McKinnon & Co. stationery. He pushes the paper farther away from the lamp, just in case.

Burr’s knees make a cracking noise when he crouches in front of the fireplace. Carefully, he lights a match and puts it between logs and old newspapers. The fire smoulders for a moment, balancing between starting and being put out, before a bigger flame begins gnawing at the dry wood and paper. 

Foreman Lowther is about to stand up when something hits the side of his head, making his face clash with the seat of a nearby armchair. Scurrying and turning around, he sees an outline of a man, looking more like a feverish mare of the night than a real human. He’s thin and tall, dressed rather elegantly. The model crow on his cane glistens in the newly started fire.

“Who are you?” Burr’s voice cracks, giving away his panic.

“A scorned businessman, Burr Lowther,” Kaz explains slowly.

The foreman climbs backwards into the armchair. It’s difficult to look imposing while sitting beside a fireplace but his fear is far too severe to let the man stand on his own two feet.

“I’ve no business with you!” he yells. A few droplets of spit fly out of his mouth. “Get out!” Burr’s shaky hand points vaguely in the direction of the front door but Kaz, as it seems, is not going anywhere just yet.

In slow steps, Kaz gets closer to Burr, the difference in height painting him even more menacing. Lowther’s hand falls limp on a small table meant for trays with food.

“Perhaps you don’t. But I have plenty with you.”

Before foreman Lowther can ask another question, Brekker drives a sharp blade through the man’s palm, pinning it to the wooden counter. A howl of pain cuts through the night, scaring away the birds sitting outside the windows. Thick, crimson blood spills from the wound, falling to the floor in long drops. The fireplace’s flame glistens in the growing puddle, the reflection dances in morbid anticipation.

Kaz walks over to the table with the oil lamp. The first thing that catches his eye is the ivory paper. Somehow, he stifles the visceral reaction it elicits from him. Grabbing the wad of stationery, he folds it a few times and puts it in the inner pocket of his coat. Then his gaze trails towards the wooden box of cigars. The name of the company, Starling, is burned in cursive lettering on the front. In a swift movement, Kaz slides the package open, knowing exactly what he’s going to find inside - a cigar cutter. For people who can afford Starling tobacco products, it definitely doesn’t befit to chew off the end.

Firelight cascades off the metal cutter when Kaz turns back towards Burr. The man’s eyes widen in panic, recognizing the sharp device put against him.

“No, sir,” Burr begs with a frantic shake of his head. “Oh, Saints, please, no! Don’t! I’m begging you, sir! Please, please! No, please!”

Brekker’s face doesn’t change its indifferent expression. The pleading is not putting him off, never faltering his already-made decision. Perhaps, if it isn’t too morbid to consider, he’s enjoying having someone at his mercy. The cigar cutter clicks quietly as Kaz closes it a few times to check the state of the mechanism.

Kaz makes his way back to the foreman. Casually, he puts his cane against the table but away from the nailed palm, careful not to get it dirty. Then, he snatches Burr’s other hand, the swiftness diminishing all doubts that he’s inexperienced in bringing suffering.

“You have laid your hands on something that isn’t yours, Lowther,” Brekker explains as he forces one of the man’s fingers through the cutter’s opening. “Now you must pay for it.”

A muscle in his face ticks as he presses the cigar cutter. Burr howls in agony, tears streaming down his face. The finger falls to the floor with a wet slap as blood begins to pour. The white tip of the bone sticks out from the pulsating flesh, glistening in the warm, dim light of the burning fireplace.

In a feverish delirium, Lowther mumbles something under his nose, the string of incomprehensible words sometimes interrupted by sobs. Kaz can understand only two things from the ramblings of a madman: ‘wench’ and ‘reply’. Scarce information but he hardly needs more.

“Wench?” he repeats in a low voice.

With a snap of his wrist, Kaz twists the knife still residing in the man’s hand. A bone cracks. But there’s no scream this time - not an ounce of strength left in the victim. Lonely tears stream down his grey face, mixing with cold sweat as he blankly stares ahead. A gloved hand yanks his head back by the hair, forcing delirious Burr to look into Brekker’s eyes. They look darker than they should, clouded with something far too horrible to be considered human.

“Not only did you lay your filthy hands on something of mine,” Kaz’s voice is low enough to resemble a growl as though something carnal inside him has finally woken from its slumber, “but you also dare insult her.”

Burr makes a strange guttural noise, something between a gag reflex and a murmur, as another one of his fingers is cut off. Considering his vacant expression, it’s hard to say whether his consciousness even registered the loss.

Kaz tosses away the cigar cutter. It clutters and clicks falling in the largely unknown corner of the room. Reaching inside his coat, he pulls out the folded stationery. Pressing tightly on Burr’s cheeks, he forces the man’s mouth open.

“I don’t think you will be needing this anymore.”

Even if foreman Lowther was in his right mind at the moment, there wouldn’t be much he could do to prevent Kaz from shoving the dry paper down his throat. A match, a spark, a smoulder - the ivory stationery is burning inside Burr’s mouth.

Leaving Burr Lowther to his own devices, Kaz Brekker leaves the house, joining the otherwise grey and indifferent citizens of Ketterdam. The sunrise is just a few hours away. He’s making his way back to the club, uninterrupted and unbothered, to enjoy another day of your hardly divided attention.