#but you trust ME
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yes it’s very sweet that Aziraphale says “trust me” when Crowley is the one with the gun. yes Crowley (who helped invent physics) probably can aim pretty well when he focuses
but consider the comedy potential if Aziraphale was actually the one who handled dodging the bullet:
instantly turns “you can’t kill me, there’ll be paperwork” into a THREAT
makes all the “shoot past my ear” miscommunication metaphors even funnier because he’s snaking away on purpose to make sure it misses his ear
he still let it almost hit Mrs. H
#yes yes it’s very romantic that Aziraphale’s answer to Crowley’s doubts in his abilities is essentially#you don’t trust your own abilities? fine#but you trust ME#and *I* know you can do it#so do it because you trust ME#but imagine the world where he’s saying all that#and he really means it#but he still helps it along just a tiiiiny bit from his end#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens 2x04#good omens shitpost#cw guns#cw gun mention#aziraphale#crowley#good omens 1941
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny#I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh#@ staff do this cowards#spy has thoughts#my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track#functional website#spy's smash hits#Glock function#edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this#but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up#I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one
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Wade discovered something new about Logan today
#fanart#my art#deadclaws#deadpool x wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#You can't tell me Logan doesn't purr like a little kitty cat#Ryan Reynolds told me so trust me bro-
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Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave
#the first time it happens he's just like oh whoops that'll be awkward#the second time: well that's not ideal#the third time: fucking hell why did i make a persona that cant keep it in his pants#Clark angsting about why his best friend doesn't trust him enough to tell him his secret identity:#:( why doesn't he trust me after all we've been through together#bruce: i have fucked too many people here including you and you can never know#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc#mine
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this literally never stops being funny like dog they made starship troopers with the Baby's First Satire cranked up to 11 and these people are still fucking dumbfounded that the creators don't share their politics
#idk if anyone who follows me plays helldivers 2 but trust me#when it comes to “political commentary in video games”#helldivers 2 does everything short of putting “YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR THE BAD GUYS” in every loading sequence#helldivers#helldivers 2
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Kirk was a real one for this
#this is me when ppl don't like trek#iykyk#and if you don't know I can't help you#but trust me love wins#trek#tos#star trek#kirk#uss enterprise#she is a beautiful lady#and i do love her
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Alligator tears 🦌 🥲
The beauty of the pumpkin head joke is that the true joke is TELLING the joke to people.
For those who don’t know it, this is the joke:
A man with a pumpkin for a head walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims: “My god, I’m sorry, but WHAT happened to your head?”
The man sighs and says, “So I found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes…”
Bartender: “Ok, well what were the wishes?”
Man: “Well, my 1st wish was for 100 million dollars. AND I GOT IT!!”
Bartender: “WOW! Okay…what was the 2nd wish?”
Man: “For the 2nd wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world to fall in love with me…AND I GOT THAT TOO!”
Bartender: “Incredible! So then…what was the 3rd wish?”
Man: “Now see…that’s where I really messed up…
I asked for a giant pumpkin head”
#trust me if you tell the joke to someone#you will understand why it is so funny hahahaha#or you’ll think I’m crazy#BUT WHATEVER HAHAHA#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods#charlie morningstar#Vaggie#angel dust
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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no mercy 😭
#one piece won the poll and I wanted to draw smth nice and wholesome#but I hated the perspective process and the multiple characters were a pain so where did that bring me?#that's right; perspective and multiple characters in shtpost format#don't you just love it when you put too much pressure on yourself and the way to fix that is to draw smth silly#vibrant colours go brrrr#pls trust me when I say I like sanji#I mean look at him#one piece#strawhat crew#sanji#luffy#zoro#chopper#usopp#nami#nico robin#cyborg franky#o0kawaii0o
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What if.....
#this totally happened trust me bro#hades game#hades 2#zagreus#melinoe#melinoë#hypnos hades game#he's starting to grow his hair#hypzag if you squint#zagnos#zagreus x hypnos#my art
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The day FNAF Charlie Emily was shut out..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#william afton#charlie emily#charlotte emily#fnaf 2#fnaf pizzaria simulator#William Afton you deserve nothing good in this world#this is why you got sent to super hell#Charlie’s whole story makes me so sad#not only was she ignored by her own father#locked out of thr pizzeria during a rainstorm#but her fathers friend .. someone she probably trusted#instead of helping her out of the rain#bringing her home or helping her back inside#betrays her inherent trust in him#and leaves her out to rot#only being given a chance through the security puppet coming to her#I’m surprised she isn’t more pissed while being the puppet#she deserved so much more#finally did a full design for her too in the games..#I actually really like how this comic turned out#even if it makes me sad
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Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.
#ratiorine#aventio#aventurine#dr. ratio#honkai star rail#hsr#not exactly#2.1 spoilers#but the vibe isn't present until then#this is canon I'm Hoyo#just trust me#I think my favorite thing about this ship#is that I went in expecting slap slap kiss#but came out of 2.1 convinced that these two could#in fact#get their shit together faster than virtually any other Hoyoverse pair#they're gonna be two years into their relationship before Seele manages to ask Bronya on a date#they're gonna be married before Renheng get their next ship tease#I just think they deserve to be those two guys who show up together#in the background of every promotion and event#and Hoyo never confirms anything#but you never see the one without the other#so everybody just KNOWS#LISTEN HOYO#I'm available for hire#you can pay me to print the money for you
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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#p5r#persona 5 protagonist#akechi goro#IM FREEEE IM FREEE IM FREEEEE#IT ONLY TOOK 24 HOURS AND THEN SOME AND 2 MONTHS OF SANITY!!!!!!#im never drawing anything like this again ill be going bsck to 3/4 bust up 0 backgrounds.#persona 5#shuake#ANYWAY. listened to a lot of picture you by chapp3ll roan while drawing this…#and like the correlation isnt there but i think abt all the mutual things….joker bringing rival up twice and akechi being shocked#my art#doodle#doodles#and the way at the end akc thinks that joker wished him back because of pity 😔#do you picture me like i picture you am i in the frame of your point of view…#joker being the only person akc trusts and relies on but is it the same….is it all just pity…..#ANYWAYYYYYYY my sanity! gone! i have to go study for my test now and alllll my hw and honey im home day art
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Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house
Bonus:
#you won’t join the justice league you’ll be leading them#Bruce: nightwing is literally the best vigilante to ever exist#Bruce: when I grow up I wanna be like nightwing#meanwhile dick: ugh Bruce literally doesn’t respect me he always treats me like a child he thinks I’m incompetent#Bruce: you are literally who I aspire to me you’re the only thing I’ve ever done right in my entire life#dick: he’s such an ass I’m not a child anymore!! I can take care of myself why won’t he trust me??#Bruce: losing you would literally be the death of me I won’t lose you cause I’ll be joining you in death#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#batfam#batfamily#dc robin#dick grayson#dcu#nightwing#good dad bruce wayne#unhinged dad Bruce Wayne#dick and bruce#shitpost#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect batman quotes#batman twitter au
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My interpretation on how human bill came to be, ig? (ALSO SORRY, I MEANT DD&MD.. or idk how to abbreviate it)
#sorry for cursing your eyes with both bill designs#can you tell i was struggling between using the shows style and my own? YEAH. trust me it was worse#gravity falls bill#gravity falls book#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls ford#gravity falls#bill ci the demon guy#the book of bill#billford#bill ci the triangle guy#bill cipher#gravity falls dipper#dipper pines#grunkle ford#bill x ford#ford pines#gravity falls stanford#bill x stanford#gravity falls comic#SORRY IF YOU CANT READ BILLS TEXT. AGAIN. MY BAD...#gravity falls headcanons#human bill cipher#human bill design
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