#but you see being mature and smart sometimes is seeing through the mess and develop your own opinion me thinks

[persephoneflouwers]

What do you mean by 'i will be set free'? Are you unstanning or something?

In a scenario like that? I’d be like

[mbti-notes]

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

[dreamersdreamloud]

High School Lovers

AN: Planning to make a storyline out of this on AO3

Warnings: Mature

Omega Lena Luthor x Alpha Reader

————————————

First Day of School

Danvers Household

The Danvers, the famous kind family with three dashing Alphas. Eliza and Jeremiah are proud of producing three strong women alphas. The oldest (Y/N) Danvers, the most popular jock in their highschool. You're proud to be the captain and quarterback of the Midvale’s football team. The omegas from all grades adore your looks and muscles but they didn’t stand a chance since you were dating the cheerleading captain, Cat Grant.

Cat dumped you during summer break and your inner alpha felt heartbroken. She left you for Maxwell Lord, the snobby rich alpha with little or none manners. You learned to let go during the summer and focused on getting that athlete scholarship during your last year of highschool and just move on with your life. Recently you became more reckless with your alpha actions, getting into fights, not listening to your parents. You were a mess that your sisters had to watch over you, to avoid getting yourself into further trouble.

The second oldest, Alex Danvers is also popular, known for her smarts for science but also the captain of the basketball team. Alex has always looked up to you as a role model. She basically became a tough looking alpha just like her older sister. But under those tough looks, she’s soft as a teddy bear, as her girlfriend, Sam Arias, declares it.

The youngest alpha in the family is Kara Danvers. The well known ball of sunshine and kindness. People often underestimate the blonde. Her alpha side is not something to be messed with. Bigger alphas would bully the youngest Danvers but they would run for the hills if Alex and you teach them a lesson on what happens when you mess with their youngest sister. Kara loves her sisters so much but she also loves her omega girlfriend, Lucy Lane , for always supporting her.

You're happy that your sisters have girlfriends and glad that they picked the best omegas from your shared high school. You don’t have to worry about the omegas being a distraction to your sisters’ studies. Whenever they’re in heat, they know best to stay away from their alphas and sit out. Eliza is thankful to not worry about being a grandma so soon.

“(Y/N)! Wake up! Mom has been calling you for breakfast!” Alex pounds on the door of your bedroom. You groan and growl at the door.

“I’ll be there!” You yelled back. You’re glad that you have your own room. Unfortunately, Alex and Kara have to share a bedroom. Sometimes you would hear them arguing next door on the stupidest things.

“Agh. First day of senior year here we go.” You said to yourself as you push your blankets away.

***

“Sam! Can you drive a little slower?!” Lena yells at her driver. She doesn’t know why she agreed to ride with her best friend to school if her life is endangered.

“Lena. It’s our first day of being juniors. I don’t want to be late!”

“We’re an hour early! You literally just want to see your girlfriend and ride her dick in the locker rooms.” Lena huffs.

The omega is happy that her best friend is dating a popular yet caring alpha but it can be annoying to watch them tongue each other’s throats in public. Lena wishes she had an alpha to look forward to but ever since she dumped Jack, she hasn’t been able to find another great alpha.

The reason the raven haired dump the alpha is that he would often ask her to have sex. Lena felt uncomfortable and she was only 15 years old at the time and he was a senior. He was the legal age of having sexual intercourse. Lena didn’t like being pressure into having sex so she broke things off and was content when he left for college. Lena wants to pick someone special to take her virginity and hopes to find that someone soon.

Sam ease off on the gas so that her passenger doesn’t contract a heart attack. A muscle car pulls up next to Sam’s car. The car is too familiar to the omegas. They've been seeing that classic black Ford Mustang fastback all summer.

The Danvers sisters are inside that car. The oldest Danvers revs the car again, annoying the two omegas inside their own car. Sam got a bit distracted as she saw the second oldest Danvers giving her certain looks that any omega would like to see. Lena saw that Kara was shaking her head, not wanting to be part of her sisters’ reckless act.

The alpha speeds up and cuts Sam off. Sam honks at the mustang, “Jackass.”

Lena laughs, “maybe if you weren’t so distracted looking at your alpha, (Y/N) wouldn’t have cut you off.”

Sam didn’t park too far from the alphas, they both got off at the same time. Lucy from afar, ran into Kara’s arms and gave her a longing kiss for everyone to witness. Sam didn’t want to embarrass herself like that and waited for Alex to walk over to them.

“Good morning, babe.” Alex lifts up Sam off her feet and Lena gags.

Not wanting to witness their affection, her eyes fall to the older Danvers stepping out of the car last. You wore sunglasses and simple black jeans with white fitted t-shirt. You saw your sisters run to their girlfriends and you just roll your eyes at them. You didn’t bother to wait for them and just make your way inside the school campus grounds to go hang with your jock friends.

“I see that you’re checking out the oldest Danvers.” Sam teases Lena.

“Wait what? Are you seriously checking out my sister, Luthor?”

Lena can’t help to admit that you’re the most handsome looking alpha she has ever seen in this highschool and that she developed a small crush over you since her freshman year. Besides dumping Jack for pressuring sex onto her, she also did it for you. She had this little hope that would be her loving alpha but when she found out that you got together with Cat, she was broken into tears.

“You know she’s single right? Cat dumped her during the summer.” Sam informs Lena.

The raven haired already knew that from Kara. She mentally keeps tabs on the older Danvers and Kara just feeds her information not knowing that she’s helping her. During the summer break, Lena would often visit the Danvers household to hang out with Kara and Alex but you were never there when she visited. You often found yourself helping your father or out with friends during the early morning.

“I heard it first from Kara.” Lena replies to Sam.

“I’m giving you permission to go after my knot head sister.” Alex surprisingly tells her.

“Your sister doesn’t know I exist. Plus why would she want to date a small nerdy omega?”

It’s true that Lena is a nerd but she’s the most popular nerd in the whole school. She takes advanced classes, joins after programs and clubs to help boost her chances into getting into MIT. Lena is sure that you only saw her a few times ever since you met through your sisters and swears that you don’t remember her.

The school bell rings and everyone heads to their first class of the day.

During Lena’s history class, she doesn’t bother to give her full attention since she already knows everything and already did advance research of U.S history during the summer break. At the moment, Lena was thinking how it can be possible to date the oldest Danvers but it can be nearly impossible. Omegas are not known to court alphas. She wonders if she can grab the alpha jock’s attention but since she’s a Junior, she knows that she won’t have any classes with her. Lena nearly gives up on the silly idea. Maybe she’ll just need to move on.

***

It’s nearly the end of the day and Lena is looking forward to her last class, Microbiology. A class where only seniors can take but Lena’s mother, Lillian, helped talk the school board into letting Lena take the class since she already took all the other science classes and passed with A’s.

The raven haired was one of the few to arrive early and picked a seating of her choice. She picks a seat in the back to not draw much attention to herself for the semester. Lena keeps herself but checking her phone while the seniors pour themselves inside the room.

She felt a little lonely for not having friends in this class but she was content that she has classes with Sam and Alex. She also has elective classes with Kara and Winn. A few seniors recognized Lena on the way in and had a short conversation with the only junior in the class. Andrea Rojas, a cheerleader that Lena is friends with, sits before her.

The microbiology teacher who’s also the coach of the football team, starts to take attendance. It goes by alphabetical order and everyone just quieta down to hear their names be called.

“(Y/N) Danvers?!” Mr. J’onn J'onzz says out loud.

Lena’s head perks up and scans the room to find the older Danvers but apparently she’s nowhere to be found.

“Danvers?” Mr. J’onzz calls out again. He scans the room carefully and looks for anyone connected to the missing student.

“Gand! Where’s (Y/N)?”

Mike also known as Mon-El, a football player, answers, “I- um. I actually don’t know Coach.”

“Since she’s not here she better be at practice or else the whole team will be doing suicides for warm-up.” The coach threatens.

Mr. J’onzz is upset that his star player has ditched class but he resumes to take attendance and start the lecture. Lena wonders where the alpha jock went, she hides her phone under her desk and texts another senior she knows. She doesn’t want to text either of the Danvers sisters.

Lena: Mags, do you know where (Y/N) is at?

Maggie: Big D? Nope. She should be in class. Why?

Lena rolls her eyes at the older Danvers’ nickname. She can’t believe people call her that but she blushes on the reason why she earned that name. There’s been rumors going around that (Y/N)’s dick is huge and was exposed during one of the wild highschool parties.

Maggie was the one who started the nickname and decided to nickname all the Danvers sisters as well. She called Alex “Mid D” and Kara “Little D or Little Danvers.” Little did everyone know, all the Danvers have huge cocks and their girlfriends can certify that information.

Lena: She’s supposed to be in my microbio class.

Maggie: Hmm. I’ll look into it

The raven haired locks her phone and pays attention to the lecture again. It was long until Lena’s phone vibrated a text message.

Maggie: So . . Big D is getting a BJ from one of the cheerleaders.

Of course. Lena thought to herself.

“Okay class! This semester I’m going to pair you up with a partner. The project will be about collecting samples from different environments and studying what type of bacteria is out there. The due date is TBA but I suggest you start it early and not last minute. The project is worth 300 points of your grade.” Mr. J’onzz announces.

The teacher proceeds to read of the pairs of students for the project in his clipboard. The students were getting noisy as the pairs were being announced. A few were disappointed in who they got while others were filled with joy.

“Lena Luthor! You’re partners with (Y/N) Danvers!”

Lena looked up quickly when she heard her partner’s name. She sees that half of the class looked at her when they found out that their most cherished alpha is partners with a junior omega who’s known for her genius side. The raven haired caught a few omegas looking at her with disgust but she managed to ignore.

“Fuck.” Lena mumbled to herself. She can’t believe she’s paired off with her long time crush. It can’t be that bad right? She’s close with the younger sisters, doesn’t mean she can’t be friendly and close with the oldest Danvers sister as well. Or can she?

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | ten

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.7k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, jealousy, some good car sex w/ breast play, straddling, fingering, a lil spit play

note: to the anon who requested the one shot, i promise i have it done - i can’t post it juuuust yet tho lol

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"How was your date, Jungkookie?" Hoseok asks as he forks into his salad. Jungkook sits in front of Hoseok and Yoongi, while Namjoon and Jin sit off to either of his sides. Kook does a simple chuckle with his nose scrunched as he's digging into his fries.

"Good." He smirked.

"Oooh, Jungkookie has a girlfriend!" Hoseok laughed, causing both Namjoon and Jin to shoot looks at each other while shifting in their seats.

"No, but I hope to ask her out."

"Wait, like really ask her to be your girlfriend?" Yoongi chimed in, his gummy smile coming forth with a small high-pitched laugh. "How cute."

"Yeah, I want to. Not right at this moment, but I've already been planning on how to have this talk with her about being exclusive."

"Aw, our Kookie is growing up!"

"Shut up." Jungkook laughs. "I just really like her. She's beautiful, and smart and fun to be around."

"Are you seeing her today?"

"No, but I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow. She has stuff to get done."

"Do you see her a lot?"

"A good amount, but I try not to suffocate her."

"Jin, you haven't said anything. What's up with you?" Jin looks up from his plate, eyes quickly roaming between all of them.

"Sorry, I just knew all of this already. It's nothing unexpected." He gives off a fake chuckle.

"Grace issues?" He shrugged.

"Sure, but this isn't about me." They nod and shift their attention back to Jungkook. Whew.

"Have you gotten her in bed?"

"Woah, Yoongi? What the fuck." Namjoon laughed.

"I'm just curious and we're always honest with each other right?" Joon shoots Jin a quick look before shaking his head at Yoongi.

"No." Kook chuckled. "I mean I don't care for it much. If she isn't ready to take that step with me then I won't force her."

"What a gentleman! Jin you taught him well." They laughed. Jin is reciprocating the energy with a small smile, as that's the best he can do right now. He didn't want this topic to come up only because he did already know how Jungkook felt about you. Yes, he felt bad, but also, he didn't want to let up on you. He wasn't going to, and Namjoon can easily tell he wasn't over you even though he told Jungkook to go for it. He hated having this silent competition. He knew his feelings for you were growing and he couldn't help but feel like a child over it.

I saw her first. I got her first. Me. Not you.

And so their conversation over an early dinner gets put to rest, Jin thanking God that no one pressed him more about Grace or why he truly wasn't saying much. They were all too caught up in Jungkook's feelings. All, except Namjoon. Jin gets to his classroom a little early to get himself together for class, gathering all his thoughts and feelings about you, Jungkook, Grace, etc., and pushing it to a far, far corner in his mind. At least, until class is over.

[Namjoon] 5:04pm: You couldn't be any more obvious.

[Jin] 5:05pm: What are you talking about now?

[Namjoon] 5:05pm: You're still seeing her. Or, let me rephrase - You're still trying to pursue her even after you told your brother to go for it.

[Jin] 5:06pm: It's complicated.

[Namjoon] 5:06pm: Seokjin, please. What did I tell you? Don't start this mess.

[Jin] 5:07pm: It'll be fine, okay? I appreciate the concern but stop worrying about me.

He sighs as he paces around the front of his room. The real reason as to why you weren't hanging out with Jungkook tonight was because of him. He needed to see you. Feel you. Touch you. Be close to you. There was also something he needed to bring up, hoping you'd agree to it.

Namjoon was right. The concern is valid. However, if things pull through the way Seokjin expects it to, then he knows what he has to do from there. He'll know how to approach this better. Hopefully.

Seeing you in class makes him feel at ease. He loves the little smiles you send his way when you both make eye contact. He just loves to look at you. Smiling and laughing with your friends. Your serious face when it's time to focus. He has it bad for you.

"Alright, class. Get those in to me on time by next week and I'll think about the movie." Jin laughs as the class has mixed reactions while packing up their things.

"But Mr. Kim it's a really good movie, don't you think we deserve a little break in class?" Taehyung whines as he picks up his bag.

"I always think you guys deserve a break, the movie though? Not sure if it's my cup of tea."

"Awww come on, just once." The class whined, making Jin laugh that adorable laugh he has. It was cute to see how adored Jin was by your classmates. He truly was a great teacher and made it a safe environment for everyone. Completely inclusive.

"I'll sleep on it. See you guys next week." He smiles and flashes a wink at a couple of people leaving the classroom saying their goodbyes. He stands at the front, his hands dug into his pockets as he looks at you and Ryujin coming down the steps - always being the last to leave.

"I'm counting on you, Mr. Kim." Ryujin says, flipping her hair.

"Counting on me for what?"

"The movie." She turns to look at you. "And other things." You shove her out the door before looking over at Jin, who hasn't stopped chuckling.

"You heard her." He nods.

"Pick you up in a few?" He asks, almost at a whisper. You return the nod and smile before walking out. You silently walk next to Ryujin, thinking about what tonight would be about. Not gonna lie, you were excited to be alone with him again, even if that meant being in his car, sitting in silence. The thought alone made you happy. The thought made you push through the day just to get to this point.

"Are you seeing him?"

"Yeah." Is all you respond to Ryujin with.

"Be careful, okay?"

"I know." Ryujin knew you weren't going to let up on Jin easily. She too, just like Namjoon, could tell that you had developed deep feelings for him, yet she just didn't know how you would approach it. Whatever it was though, she was going to have your back and be there for you. She just wished you had told the boys because handling you alone is work! Extra support would have been nice!

Getting home, you toss your things aside and start working on a few assignments until Jin is texting you that he's outside of your building. You feel a little nervous, as if it's a first date when it's really not. You step out of the elevator and into the lobby, just to see him ahead in the driver's seat. He has one hand resting along the wheel while he's scrolling through his phone in the other.

"Hey." You say as you hop into the passenger's seat. He puts his phone down and looks at you, his head tilted towards you and rested against the headrest.

"Hey pretty girl." He softly smiles as he leans over to kiss you on the lips. "Want some ice cream?" You laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" He begins to drive off, taking you to a nearby ice cream joint.

"How was your day today?" You ask him as he's roaming the streets looking for parking.

"It was alright. Went to work for a bit and met up with the boys for an early dinner before class."

"How was that?" He keeps his eyes on the road.

"Mm, good. I love sitting around and hearing about my brother's feelings for you." You chuckle at his sarcasm.

"You're dramatic."

"Call it what you want." He says. "It's still not fair."

"You can do something about it, you choose not to though." You straight up tell him. He parks his car and looks over at you, a small smirk plastered on his face.

"So, do you want me to do something about it?"

"Jin, please. Don't turn this on me. You're the one whining." You get out of the car. It was true. He kept talking about Jungkook and how he couldn't stand it, but yet, his ass was over here doing absolutely nothing. You expected that much though, because what? Was he just going to up and leave his fiancé because of a little jealousy? You honestly didn't think it was that deep for Jin. Maybe a little bit of a competition, but nothing too serious. And that was honestly the most painful realization for you.

You probably weren't worth it.

"I'm not whining, love. Trust me." You subtly roll your eyes at the weak comeback, but you don't throw in a rebuttal. Were you worth it? It was hard to read Jin sometimes. There were days where you felt like this could be more, then there were days where you felt dumb as hell for even having the thought cross your mind.

Like right now, you feel like this could be more with the way he's letting you taste his ice cream, his hand below your chin to catch any melting ice cream from dripping onto your clothing. He takes his cone back to his lips at the same time he's raising the napkin to the corners of your lips. You're both sitting in his car, overlooking the bay and the San Francisco skyline view in his back seat. There's a walking trail in front of the small lot his car is currently parked in, but no one is around. It's just you, Seokjin and your ice cream cones.

"Mmmm, thank you." You say gobbling up the last bit of your cone.

"You're welcome." He chuckles. "How was your day?" You shrugged.

"Same old." You fold your leg onto the seat while the other draped over it just so you could turn and look at Jin. You lean your head against the seat, watching him eat the last bits of his cone. You admired him, and you couldn't help but marvel at how absolutely breathtaking he was. The goddamn nerve. He was literally sitting there in a hoodie and jeans and you thought he was the most endearing thing.

"Sounds fun." He clears his throat as he tosses the napkin into the cup holder in front.

"Why'd you bring me out here?"

"I just wanted to see you. Is that too much to ask for?" He looked at you. "I missed you."

"You see me in class."

"It's not the same and you know it." He cocks his head to the side again to look at you. "Come here." He grabs your hand to pull you closer to him and leans in for a kiss. You rest your hand on his neck as you continue to kiss him back, the sounds of slow kisses being exchanged filling the car. You climb onto his lap as the kiss deepens, your hands gripping Jin's face while his warm, soft hands explored inside your sweater. "You drove me crazy the other night." He whispers as you slightly pull away.

"Good." You respond, bringing your lips back onto his, slowly grinding your hips into his.

"Fuck." He hisses. He quickly aids in removing your leggings before unbuckling his jeans. You feel his hardened member underneath his boxer briefs against your clothed folds, causing you to slightly tilt your head back in pleasure. You feel his hands travel up to your bra, unhooking it and raising your sweater to suck on your nipples freely. You feel his tongue working in circular motions on your hardened bud, causing you to let out a breathy moan. His eyes wander up to your face, slightly shutting close when he sees how much you're enjoying this. He moves to the other breast, his free hand cupping the one he had just removed himself from, tongue exploring your nipple. His hand moves down to aggressively hook your panties to the side, giving him room to swipe his fingers up and down your wet folds.

"Oh shit." You slightly jerk at the sensation, his long fingers taking their sweet time spreading your wetness all around your pussy.

"You're so fucking wet." He keeps his eyes on you and watches your eyes roll to the back of your head when he inserts two digits, pumping them in and out. It's incredibly hot to him how fucking wet you are, the sounds of your pussy now echoing in the car.

"Jin, ohhhhshit." You mewl. "I'm gonna cum." He continues to pump his long fingers into you, the feeling of both pain and pleasure radiating throughout your body. He curves his digits upwards, tickling your core to send you hurdling over the edge. You buck in your position from how hard the orgasm hits you, Jin's wet fingers swiping your folds and gently caressing your sensitive clit. You squeal, the overstimulation becoming a little overbearing but it feels so fucking good. You unbury his hardened member from his boxer briefs, letting your spit dribble down onto his cock as you play with the pre-cum pooling at the head.

"Oh fuck, Y/N. Don't do that shit." He tilts his head back in pleasure. You silently chuckle as you jerk him, getting his dick a little wet before hopping on and filling yourself up with it.

"Ugh, why do you feel so fucking good?" You moan as you fix your position onto him, slowly riding him and easing your way into it. You slip his two fingers into your mouth to taste yourself, his fingers still dripping from your cum.

"I-I've been wanting to fuck you so badly." He lets out a breathy moan. "The things you do to me."

"Yeah?" You say, picking up the pace as his hands guide your hips and direct your pace.

"Just like that, baby." He groans. You love when he called you baby. It made you want to give him all of you.

Your hands are resting on his shoulders, gripping tightly as you grind your hips in a steady motion. You cock your head back in pleasure, Seokjin's hands gripping your breasts. You begin to roll your hips slowly, a louder moan erupting from both him and you.

"I'mgonnafuckingcum." Your words mesh together, unable to speak clearly at how good he feels deep inside of you.

"You're so tight. God, you feel so good, gonna cum with you." Sooner or later, a roll of the hip or two in, your coil is spiraling out of control, causing you to yell Jin's name as you scratch onto his clothed shoulders, his fingers digging deep into your skin as he fills you up at the same time you're milking his dick.

His head slowly raises from against your chest, his cheeks tinted and eyes slightly glazed. He smiles up at you, his lips locking with yours once more before you climb off to clean yourself.

"Y/N." He says, tucking himself back in and getting himself situated in the seat.

"Hm?" You hook your bra back together and fix your sweater.

"I'm going to LA this weekend for a quick business conference." You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure why he was telling you this. It's not like you asked him for a daily play by play.

"Okay, have fun?" You chuckle.

"Meet me there." He looks at you. "I have to be there by Friday morning, but I know you still have work and school."

"Meet you.. in LA?" He nods.

"I really want you to. I'll buy your plane ticket. But also, know that I'm not forcing you." He slightly sighs. "I just wanna be able to spend time with you and do other things together besides fucking each other's brains out."

"Um," is all you can respond with. Because hell to the fuck yes you wanted this. But you weren't sure why you were hesitating? Maybe it was a big jump and you were scared of taking it? The lies you'd have to tell people about where you would be going this weekend? It was all such a mess. Such a huge, huge mess. Part of you also felt like this would be such an easy way for Grace to find out.

"You don't have to tell me your answer now but— just know it'll make me really happy to have you there with me." He looks at you softly, a small smile creeping at the corner of his lips. Perhaps, you were worth it.

[brellyius]

How was Hargreeves’ friendships when they were kids:

A long ass post of my ideas(probably dumb) inspired by both comic books and tv show)

starting with:

-Luther and Allison:

They were best of friends who had feelings for each other.(?)Let me dig this deeper. Luther was #1, which meant he was the unofficial leader of the Academy. His power is being super strong which is also a reason why he was the leader. Allison, is the only female with powers (SIKE) and her power was to rumor anyone, anything she wants which means she could easily get what she wanted, which probably also created an ego as a child. As being #1 and doing what you want, they could understand and relate to each other. In s1, allison says she got whatever she wanted with everything.. Do I think they have feelings for each other?? No. I think as children who grow up so close and alike, they thought they did. I think they have a special place for each other but not as “the one” and allison knows that.

-Luther and Diego:

As #1 and #2, they ALWAYS had a rival. Trying to impress daddy constantly. I think they sometimes had soft moments and both thought like “mb he’s not that bad” but ended up getting annoyed and saying “ughh i hate him” Reginald was why they never really liked each other to begin with.

-Luther and Klaus:

Klaus ANNOYED Luther. I’m sure of that. Luther was the one who’s always serious and reasonable and Klaus probably created a lot of drama. I can see Klaus making fun of Luther and Allison’s relationship. I think when Klaus did something funny, Luther always looked annoyed but he also found those funny.. Luther as a kid, loved having Klaus around but also annoyed with him. I think Luther always wanted to have fun as Klaus did. Klaus loved talking to Luther, he found Luther interesting. I think they had some really really soft moments. 🥺

-Luther and Five:

According to comic books, they’re twins. Five always thought he was better than all of them which annoyed Luther so much. Five constantly developed his power and more he developed, more he annoyed Luther. Five was also better at learning stuff like languages which also annoyed Luther. Bcz he wanted to be his dad’s fave and Five was a huge opponent. Even tho Luther saw Five as a thread, he took Five leaving hard.

-Luther and Ben:

Ok so this is a bit complicated because in comic books, they dig deeper on their relationship but not in TV show. In comic books, Luther blames himself for Ben’s death and in his moon station, he names his helper “Ben” . Ben is known as a gullible child, easily effected so Luther probably did a bad leading which lead to his death? Scary to think about. I think Ben was THAT one sibling, who everyone loved and got along. That’s why his death caused the end of the Academy. Luther loved Ben but I think he always pushed Ben? In missions, Ben was a HUGE impact, but Ben hated using his powers.

-Luther and Vanya:

Luther probably didn’t even think Vanya was a part of the family? I think he was mean towards her but as time went by, he regretted it and became closer with her. I think when Ben died, Vanya was the one who consolted Luther. Even tho she was suffering so much.

-Diego and Allison:

*eye rolls* , *grumble grumble* they DID not like each other’s company. Diego always crossed the line with everything and Allison always tried to stop him. They definitely had friction. Never got on well. After they went their seperate ways, Diego probably never seen any of Allison’s movies. Lol

-Diego and Klaus:

My fave. Diego PLAYED with Klaus. He tricked him to do dumb shit all the time. If he was bored, he went to Klaus. When he was upset, went to Klaus. They definitely messed with Luther A LOT. Klaus was his safety blanket. Klaus annoyed him a lot, but a second later, annoyed feelings were gone. He acted like BIG brother toward Klaus. Klaus also loved being around Diego.

-Diego and Five:

Their relationship was just like Luther and Five’s were. Rivalry. Hard. After five’s departure, Diego was very upset and started to question his dad. After Ben, Diego fell apart.

-Diego and Vanya:

Funfact: Diego has a thing for Vanya in comic books. Which I’m glad that it’s not portrayed like that in the TV Show. Diego was a total asshole to Vanya. No more no less. Vanya always felt for Diego tho. I think when Diego was suffering from difficulty of speaking, Vanya tried to be helpful but Diego always acted tough, he hated looking needy. He thought Vanya pitied him which annoyed him. Vanya tried to reach him but was blocked.

-Allison and Klaus:

Another fave. Loved each other so much. Always hugs, funny jokes. Allison being a BIG sister to Klaus. Klaus wanting to wear Allison’s clothes. She had a soft spot for Klaus. She knew how hard his powers were. Sometimes she wished she could help him but Klaus never let anyone know about his struggles. He always turned his traumas into fun.

-Allison and Five:

Another tough relationship. They both were strong characters. Allison was annoyed by Five bcz he thought so highly of himself. Five was annoyed bcz he could see right through her. Five knew what Allison was capable of and called her out all the time. It was tough to hear these for Allison but it did wonders for her character development. She also questioned her dad after Five’s departure.

-Allison and Ben:

Great buddies for sure. When Allison was upset, Ben was there. They loved each other. Allison felt for Ben. Ben hated his powers and Allison could see it and told Luther to stop pushing him. She was devastated after the incident.

-Allison and Vanya:

Barely talked but when they did, it was special. Allison mostly hung out with Luther in private. Sometimes she needed a female friend and went to Vanya. But after her problems were solved, she forgot about Vanya. Vanya always felt like they were gonna be closer but never became. When Five left, Allison thought it effected Vanya the most. Then Ben died and Vanya was even more traumatized. Allison could see this but didnt know what to do. She cared about Vanya more and more everyday.

-Klaus and Five:

They weren’t close at all. He definitely thought Klaus was an idiot. But I think Five discovered Klaus’ drinking at young age and knew his struggles but wasn’t around enough to help. In Hotel Oblivion, we see Five’s intervention with Klaus. I think even tho he’s %90 of the time an asshole to Klaus, he felt for Klaus. Klaus loved pissing him off tho.

-Ben and Klaus:

Partners in crime. Always tricked Ben to do something. Ben always tried to stop Klaus doing something dumb but ended up being a partner. Ben always wanted to watch out for Klaus. They both struggled with their powers. They sometimes talked about it. Ben knew about Klaus’ mausoleum incident. Ben hated Reggie. Hated how harsh he was on them. They loved each other so much, Klaus couldnt let him go.

-Klaus and Vanya:

Klaus loved Vanya and Vanya loved Klaus. Klaus was always there to cheer Vanya up. When Vanya felt left out, Klaus made a joke. It was always like that. Vanya never understood how Klaus handled his horrible power. Vanya was so worried about Klaus. They never talked deep, but could hear each other without talking.

-Five and Vanya:

BEST OF FRIENDS. Five always felt Vanya was so mature and smart. Talked about everything. Five always complained about his siblings and dad and told everything to Vanya and Vanya listened to him patiently. His departure hit her so so bad.

-Ben and Five:

Loved each other’s company. Worked so well together. Loved each other. Had midnight talks.

-Vanya and Ben:

Vanya listened to Five, Ben listened to Vanya. Ben was the ONLY person who cared so much about Vanya. He was her guardian, her safety blanket. When Vanya was upset, Ben grabbed Klaus to cheer Vanya up. After making Vanya laugh, Klaus went away and Ben and Vanya talked about everything.

So yeah, that’s all. I hope y’all enjoyed this. It took me a long time to write this down. Please share your thoughts and feelings. Thank youu 🥰🥰

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Naruto, One Piece, and Free Match-Up Request

May I request another match-up but for Free, One Piece, and Naruto this time? :) Here’s all my info once more!

Name: Corethra (or Corey for short)

Age: 25

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Occupation: Hand Packer at an ice cream factory. I work 12 hours (5:30pm to 6am) on a rotating schedule.

Birthplace: Memphis, TN, USA. I was raised in the neighborhood called Frayser which is the most impoverished area in Memphis and has a high crime rate as expected.

Zodiac Sign: Pisces (born March 2) My full birth chart can be found here

Enneagram: 5w6

Chinese Zodiac: Year Of The Pig

MBTI Type: INFJ

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Love Language: Acts Of Service

Race/Ethnicity: African-American

Height: 4'11 (Call me short and I’ll kick your butt!)

Body Type/Shape: Average but well developed figure at best. I weigh about 158 lbs and am pretty insecure about my body. I also have really bad scars on my left arm from being bitten by a dog.

Hair Color/Style: Black and naturally curly but I keep it flat-ironed so it’s straight. It’s long and goes down to just below my shoulder blades. There are times when I will have braids put in of various lengths.

Glasses or No?: Yes I wear glasses

Eye Color: Brown

Dress Style: I usually dress up in a casual way, just throwing on whatever looks good at the time but I will sometimes put in the effort when the time calls for it or when I’m in a good mood. I have an affinity for the punk, emo, and goth styles and I rarely wear feminine clothes but I will wear something risky every once in a while.

Hobbies/Interests: Video games, reading, writing, anime, internet surfing, listening to music, politics (sometimes), watching movies/TV shows, basically being an overall nerd. I’m usually either on my laptop or one of my many video game consoles if I’m not on my phone or reading one of my books.

Dislikes: Ignorance, stupidity, restriction, manipulation/gas-lighting, bullying, humanity, not being understood, corruption/injustice, close-mindedness

Personality: At first glance, I seem quiet and keep to myself, only speaking when I need to or when I’m spoken to. I’m an anti-social introvert to the fullest and don’t care much for small talk or going out. I prefer to have deeper conversations. When I get comfortable enough in whatever environment I’m in, I start to open up bit by bit. I’m a tomboy and pretty rough-minded as well as stubborn. I’m very sassy, have a smart, sarcastic, and witty mouth if not humorous and outrageous at times, can be borderline rude and mean, and I’m more sensitive than I care to be. I can literally cry at someone’s suffering especially if it’s someone I’m close to or even a total stranger. I’m very empathetic and my heart is bigger than what most people would expect. Most people describe me as quiet, intelligent, creative, dorky, a smartass, and really sweet. I love a good laugh and have an open sense of humor to boot.

Many of my friends say that I’m very sweet and kind which I usually am if I’m in a good mood as well as affectionate as hell. Hugs and pet names galore with me! However only my friends and family see that side of me. My language is often unfiltered, harsh, foul, and blunt which shocks people because they think I’m a pure angel. I say what I want when I want and no one tells me otherwise. If they do, they can expect a mouthful from me. I’m an escapist and very imaginative, can be a bit scatterbrained at times, and I’m methodical and detailed to the point of perfectionism. I’m usually a walking contradiction in terms of personality in so many ways to the point where the real me is almost impossible to decipher. To make matters more complicated, I’m not very good at expressing myself verbally and prefer to let my actions do the talking. I also express myself better through written form.

I have many pet peeves and I get annoyed easily in general. I’m also slowly embracing misanthropy and nihilism but I can be pretty idealistic so it balances out. I’m practically zero tolerance when it comes to bullshit. I hate confrontation and conflict but I’m starting to work on it so I can be less passive-aggressive and more assertive. I also wish to stand up for myself more often than I should so people won’t think that I’m weak and an easy target. I’m pretty cynical which is to be expected and usually expect the worst from people. When someone angers me, I will either just withdraw altogether and completely cut them off (slam the door basically) or get in their face and go off before doing the former. I’m the “hold my anger in and release it all at once” type but I hope to change that one day and stop letting things fester before they get out of hand. I can be quite petty and even cold as well and if someone wrongs me, they will have to make the first move to mend fences. I refuse to apologize if I’m not in the wrong and I will not accept gaslighting/guilt tripping. I also refuse to change for others and will admit to having quite a lot of pride but that’s mostly due to me not wanting to be hurt and manipulated, mistreated, or used.

I have issues with trust and a wild imagination to boot. I usually trust my instincts and can see right through bullshit. I don’t like taking risks and I have to know all the details when I do something so I don’t mess up and look like an idiot. I am indeed a perfectionist and introverted to a fault which often prevents me from trying new things and going outside my comfort zone. I haven’t been in a relationship yet and am still a virgin due to my issues with trust and not wanting to be hurt or humiliated as well as being quite picky/perfectionistic with the people I allow in my life. I have high standards for both people and myself although I’m pretty laid-back and my dislike of conflict allows me to also take a lot of shit from people too before I eventually say “fuck it” and slam the door or go off on them. I don’t think very highly of myself and can sometimes fall into a period of self-hatred and self-pity.

Many people praise me for my intelligence which is fitting since I’m an intellectual. My ideals and beliefs are rather odd to say the least (I’m a classical liberal/independent and despise most ideologies/ideas. This includes religion, feminism, social justice, traditionalism, statism, big government, nationalism, socialism/communism, etc.) and I feel misunderstood because of it (mostly because of the black community ostracizing me). I am indeed a rebel, open-minded, and a free thinker. No one tells me how to think or feel or else they face my wrath. I highly value power over myself and I think it’s the most important thing that a person needs in order to survive. I am definitely an outcast at heart and I often distance myself from others and don’t like talking about my feelings or beliefs because I think most people lack the ability/capacity to understand me. Before I give my opinion on something, I like to do as much research as possible as well as look at things from all perspectives before coming to my own conclusion. I don’t mind discussing things but I prefer logic over emotion when doing so which makes it damn near impossible these days for me to have an real conversation without insults and threats being thrown (usually towards me). Chances are I’m gonna find something wrong with damn near anything someone believes in or says and I’m not afraid to call it out when I see it. Once I do open up and express how I feel, the gates of passion will open up and never close. I also have high morals and values and stick to my guns no matter what which can make me pretty stubborn at times.

I’m currently battling depression and often experience many symptoms of it including suicidal thoughts and depression spells. I also suffer from iron-deficiency anemia as well as irregular, prolonged periods. These things are pretty annoying for me to deal with whenever they flare up. 

Overall, I’m pretty crazy and a handful to deal with. Good luck matching me up with someone :P

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Hello @sacredwarrior88 and thank you so much for requesting with us! I am so sorry that this came out so late, but I do hope you enjoy this!

>Admin ��

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽…

Ace! I feel that you and ace would be such a great couple! He is open minded and kind to others whereas you are the same way! You are passionate like he is, caring like he is, loyal to the bone like he is! He would see you and see your personality and just instantly fall in love you and your personality! Like, I can’t even imagine how much he will want you on his crew, so they he can keep on you and protect you at all times-- though he will soon figure out that you don’t need help, you can take care yourself--which he will find extremely attractive, no doubt about that! 

He will love that fact that you are independent, because he really values individualism and independency, he sees it as a great traits to have. But he will also love the fact that you are sensitive, and can sometimes get into your own  head. He understands that, knows it all too well, so he will try with all his might to try and make sure that you are happy and always smiling! But he will love how fierce you can be to other people, never bowing down to their expectations! 

All in all, I feel like Ace would be a great man for you in the one piece universe! He would be attentive to you, would love your attitude and personality, and would absolutely adore how loyal and strong you are! make sure to love him thoroughly!

Ah, Sai! He is much like Ace, just a little less emotional, which is fine! I feel like you and Sai would make a couple for a couple reasons! He would love how mature you are, and how logical you can be, and-- like ace-- he loves the fact that you are extremely loyal to your friends! That is a true factor in the way he will see you, and it is for the better! He will se how strong you are, emotionally and will be envious and at the same time fascinated! I Feel like Sai will look at you with wide eyes, his breath caught in his throat, his heart beating wildly in his ribcage because he will love you that much! All the things you are interested he will want to hear with enthusiasm, everything you love he will want to learn and hear from you, to get to know you better!

Another thing is that if you were to go to him with your insecurities and how you are battling depression, he will try to understand, and once he does he will try to everything and anything to make sure you feel better! You need a massage? He’s on it! You need cuddles? oh yeah he will give you some! You need chocolate or sweets or anything of the like? He’ll run to the store, and be back 5 minutes tops! 

All in all, I feel like the cool, mature Sai, with a heart of pure gold will be such a good match for you! He will make sure that you uncomfortable with him, he will never want to make you unhappy, and he will definitely do anything i his power to make sure that you will keep on loving him as much as you can!

Rei! Now, with Rei, I wanted to go a more cute route. I feel that Rei would be equal parts and scared and in love with you! He sees how strong you are against people that oppose, he sees how strong you are for your friends, and how you have such a different personality to everybody else around him, and he will immediately fall in with you. Like instantly! To him, you’d be like a beautiful butterfly blooming right in front of him, and he will want to have you all tot himself! Of course, he won’t force you, but he will definitely watch you at a distance longingly!

He is very much an introvert and your calm but strong aura would definitely help with his anxiety! I just see him melting next you, into your lap or shoulder whenever you are around him because he is so comfortable around you. He doesn’t do this with just anybody so it would be a real honor! And when it it comes to your insecurities, he would want to make sure that you know he loves you the way are, and if you were to want to change something about yourself, then he will support you all the way, as long as you are happy! He will just love that you are such a freethinker and so openminded about things, so unlike him!

All in all, I feel like Rei would love you and (somewhat) idolize because you have all these traits that he would love to have. This perfectionist will understand how it feels to be such a perfectionist and will want to help you with that too! He will love to the moon and back(stroke)!

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

[cloudtower-edu]

honestly I don’t even think the problem with the new winx show is that it’s darker(TM). People keep saying: Why does it have to be dark, Winx was a fun show and this is just a stereotypical treatment! And in a way, yes, it has become very repetitive but we also shouldn’t forget that especially the first few seasons of Winx could be pretty dark - think about the finale of the first season. Those were really dark themes.

But even the other gritty themes, I can forgive. That’s like...the smallest problem there is. The problem is what they do with it. They could have easily gone a little darker and more mature simply by challenging some of the pre-conceived notions of the Winx-universe a little bit; dug a little deeper into some aspects of the original-series (world-building, gender roles, monarchy, poverty, the standing of witches in the magical society, how to use magical powers in general, canonically ambigious characters) - that were difficult to explore in a show for kids and young teenagers. All that might have provided interesting insights and plot-points for a more mature audience and I feel like they tried that by being a little more morally ambiguous. But considering that they have pretty much remodelled the entire Winx-universe and the magical dimension, an audience who knows the original series does not get the sense that this is in any way a smart commentary on it (because it isn’t) and anyone who hasn’t seen Winx isn’t really drawn into complex, innovative magical world - it’s just somewhere between Hunger Games and Harry Potter with very little energy put into creating a world. In fact, I feel like the first few episodes of the original show, with all its limitations - did more to create a complex world than Fate.

Also, instead of making the characters more complex and actually mature, they just slapped random adult-y themes onto each character.

And a) This just...fails to be authentic and b) makes it really hard to like the characters or be invested in them. That is not to say I dislike characters who smoke week and have threesomes and while I do find it a bit ...out-of-touch and cringy to do this with Winx Club of all shows, it’s not my problem here. My problem is that this seems to be the only concept of maturity they have or rather, it’s an absolutely distorted idea of teenagers projected on them by adult writers and at this point you have to wonder. Who is the target audience here? Because the original audience of the show has no interest in seeing their childhood characters do this stuff, actual 16yo likely don’t feel represented, and older people who didn’t watch the original show will have even less reason to stay invested.

Especially, because you get about 50 different scenes in every episode so it’s hard to really get invested in who’s currently drinking, smoking weed, lying, having a threesome or whatnot. These are not character traits – these are actions and since everyone is kinda doing it to some degree or another, it’s not one that defines any character in particular. In fact, the only one stands out (sad to say bc of the white-washed mess the character is) is Terra - because she’s the one actually struggling with this kind of environment and behaviour. And while she’s sad about struggling, nothing really happens with that. She just accepts it. There is no development in her actions.

But I think it’s Stella who’s the prime example here. Now, to clarify, I haven’t watched the full series yet because I find it really hard to get through but I think she’s a great character to illustrate the problem with:

Stella, in the original series, is bubbly, loving, can be a bit self-oriented but is actually very caring. She is actually very powerful but also doesn’t really like to train. She is passionate about fashion, art and loves to share these hobbies with others. These are things we learn pretty early on in this kids show where each episode has about 20 minutes.

If we look at Fate, we never really get to know her. The first impression we get is that she is very stand-off-ish, bitter, and downright manipulative. And I like villains so that’s not so much my problem beyond the …. “that’s supposed to be Stella????”-weird-off. And the thing is, with the backstory they have given her, it might make sense that this version of Stella might turn out that way - because she internalised that treatment from her mother. But here is the problem: Original-Stella is very, very likable. It’s very easy to get invested in her problems. But that’s not the case with new Stella and they don’t really take any steps to make us invested in her problems beyond telling her story. The scene where her mother insulted her magic and humiliated her was the first one where I felt something close to an emotion for her character – but that was because her mother is objectively horrible to her child, not because of Stella’s character in particular. This scene could have happened with literally any other character and I would have felt the exact same emotion.

As an example, the reason we are shocked by the idea that she might have blinded someone is mostly because we know the original Stella and this is so absolutely out character for her. If you only watch Fate, you might learn this information and be like: “Okay, wow, what an asshole.” - but that’s it. You’re not shocked that Stella of all people would do something like that because you haven’t actually seen the loving, joyful, bubbly Stella we encounter in the orignal series. Her personality is basically non-existent (and she’s one of the more complex characters), the audience hasn’t really shared any moments with her that particular endear her or convinced us that this is shocking for any other reason than a) this is a threat for Bloom and b) wow blinding your best friend is fucked up.

Or take Musa. In the original series, we actually spend a lot of time with Musa before we learn about her backstory. And we get to know her as a happy, cheerful girl who loves music. So finding out that she actually went through a lot of pain and hardship (especially by the standards of a kids show) was actually quite the change of pace – and finding out that her father doesn’t want her to do music and doesn’t encourage her was a development you didn’t see coming. Plus, the show dedicated a lot of screen-time to this instead of giving each and every character that walks through the screen in that episode their own problems. If you look at Fate, I have yet to discover anything that Musa is really passionate about, any particular personality traits – and each and every scene is: We now cut to Musa. Musa struggles with being an empath once more. Next scene. There is no development. No plan. No perspective other than it being useful sometimes. There is no revelation.

And I feel like this is where this show falls flat: The original winx club was a very immersive show on various layers: The characters as well as the world-building. But the characters in Fate barely have any personality whatsoever. The reason the Winx worked as heroes was because you had very distinct personalities and talents (at least in the first few seasons) and while it might seem more mature to have more nuanced characters, they actually continued the same gimmicky cartoon characterisations in many ways without actually adding complexity.

[vios-rockland-corner]

OC story and development

Hey there!  This is just a post I’m using to structure my thoughts on my Rockland OC thus far.  Just why I made certain decisions and whatnot.  Doing it in a little Q&A style to see if I can practice giving some more concise answers too honestly.

1. Why make Sasha a business major/administrative assistant?

Not exciting I know, but I just felt this would be a realistic career path for her to take if she’s more interested in just being able to work literally anywhere.  Any type of business requires this type of management somewhere.  I’m not a business major myself, but I know enough stuff about administrative work (orders, emails, meetings, finances, etc.).  Doesn’t make it too difficult to imagine stuff she can do, but it also likely isn’t the type of profession people will be super eager to ask questions about.  That way, I shouldn’t have to worry about going into depth and being too inaccurate.

Yes, I could have made her study marine science like I did, but part of this creative writing process is practicing with elements outside my expertise.  You can’t give EVERY single character you make the same exact job you have anyway.  Not unless your stories are incredibly creative.  Creators will also put in more research about a field they want to use in a story I know, but I’m being a little lazy here with that.  

2. Why is she 23 pre-time skip?

Three reasons.  One, I simply like middle range numbers.  For instance, I know two of the Misfits pre-time skip are 20 years old, while two more at 25.  The Misfits I consider as main cast in the Rockland series, so this puts her closer to their ages.  She’s not the youngest or oldest here though.

The second reason is because I thought it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to consider a 23 year old moving out on their own.  That’s not an easy feat these days I know, so there are other factors here such as her attending her hometown’s college to save money and just...literally having worked her but off during summers and 2 years after college to save up.

The final reason is because I feel like it’s a decent age where Sasha will view herself as a fully grown adult (especially since she’s performing this move), but forgets sometimes that she’s actually still pretty young.  I don’t know if I’m going to be portraying this well in my writing, but what I’m going for with Sasha is a fairly mature character that doesn’t realize she still gets drawn to the unusual.  In Rockland, it’s possible she may also be naive enough to believe that making a big deal out of too many things would be viewed as childish.  She doesn’t want to be viewed as a child, but she has a strong conscience when it comes to things that are messed up.  So that’s supposed to put her at odds sometimes.

3. Were Sasha’s choices the first blind run of both RoR games so far?

Yep!  RoR Article 1 there was no debate about my satisfaction with her choices.  RoR 2 was a little more difficult to decide whether to go with the first blind run only because there’s so many different things that could happen in that game.  In the end I decided to go with the first run because it was still the best fit for her character.

The only thing in the blind run that could have been different, was Sasha could have easily said she got the feeling a lot of drug deals happen vs. people getting away with a lot.  That’s just because these two statements actually came off as similar to me.  She met Tyler previously, so of course the drugs would have been on her mind.  I also considered both the drunks being beaten up and the drug peddling could have been lumped together though with the second choice about people getting away with a lot.  So yeah, I just went with the choice that was more all inclusive.

4. Any other people you would have liked Sasha to connect with a little better?

I’m sure getting Tyler’s phone number would have been great just to have a contact around town who knew places, but Sasha won’t do drugs so that was not going to happen, haha.

I actually wouldn’t have minded if she got a little more on Foal’s good side.  I don’t know why, I just feel like that would be a smart move.  You have to help Callum yourself to have that happen though, and Sasha won’t jump into a fight like that if it’s just her.

5. Any information you would have liked Sasha to learn?

I was so close, and that’s part of why there was a debate, but I passed up on her learning that Tyler is a DOCTOR.  You can imagine how insane that would have sounded, and I might have ended up writing the second Life in Rockland post as another conversation between Sasha and Pierce because of that.  Pierce would have been ALL OVER the idea of a doctor selling drugs.  “So like...does that mean he’s morally obligated to go through all the side effects being he sells you his stash?”  “Do his drugs then come in prescription bottles?”  Sasha would not have appreciated any of these questions, haha.

But actually MORE SO than learning that Tyler is a doctor, I am super disappointed that Sasha didn’t learn about the Irish Mafia.  Now THAT would have really been something to think about at the end of the night.  Not exactly the authority figures she was hoping were in charge of the town.  Definitely would have made her both super curious but also really nervous.  Alas, not only would she not have helped Callum by herself, but even with the second options she would have been more likely to press about Scarlet rather than Sergio (you have to ask about Sergio to learn it’s the Irish mafia running the place).  That’s because she would have been a little more curious about beastkin.

6. Any chance of Pierce showing up in person?

Not likely?  I’m having Sasha move within the Rumors of Rockland storyline, and there’s only room for one OC there.  It’s supposed to be about one character on their own in a brand new place that has a lot of secrets.  Throwing another character into that mix would be tricky.  Even just visiting might be too much of an interruption.

Pierce has two functions.  One is fun banter Sasha can have as well as another person she can bounce ideas off of with.  He also gives an outside perspective.  Some things that Sasha may be cautious about, Pierce might sway her to be a little more open.  There could also be cases though where Sasha might end up becoming compliant about something in Rockland (the longer she lives there) that Pierce might end up pointing out is...very strange or not okay.  

The other function is Pierce always serves as a solid lifeline to the outside world.  He’s a reminder that Sasha has other people outside of Rockland who will notice if something happens to her.  Yes, Sasha has a mother and father that also love her and she’s on good terms with.  But I feel like Pierce would end up being the first person to notice or take action if something seemed off.  I know it’s not necessary because the main character in Rumors of Rockland is not intended to ever end up in any kind of danger.  There will be other games where the MC may not even have the possibility to survive, so RoR serves as the scenario for what it’s like to successfully integrate into Rockland.  Still, Pierce is a nice extra precaution ;)

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Oppa Knows Best | Part 1

Word Count: 6k Genre: Smut, Angst Summary:  If there is anything a lot of people can agree on when it comes to college, it’s that college is about much more than just education; it’s a whole transformative experience.  The person you were before college is not the same person you will be after college, and no one knows the truth of that statement quite like you do. You just didn’t expect to change so much so fast. A/N: this is like my fifth friends to lovers story and there is no sign of me stopping any time soon lmao  Warnings: This story contains a very unbalanced power dynamic between the two main characters that is unhealthy and shouldn’t be tolerated irl. If someone treats you this way irl please run. This is a fictional story and the plot is basically just a vehicle for the smut. Contains slutshaming and controlling behavior. Also the dirty talk is painfully corny and pornolike so be warned lol. Oppa kink if it wasn’t obvious.

Even though you and Jaehyun were only one year apart in age, he had always babied you, to the extent that the one year you were forced to be apart for the first time since you came onto this earth—on account of him beating you to college first—you spent it lost and adrift like a puppy trying to find its way back to its owner.  

Which was completely ridiculous and melodramatic since, during that year you spent apart, Jaehyun never let a day go by in which you didn’t talk to each other. He called or texted you every single day no matter how busy he got and basically kept in better contact with you than even your school friends whom you saw every day. But still, his physical presence was something else. When it came time for you to go to college, there was no question about which one you’d choose, and he didn’t even bother to ask before bringing you all the papers that you would need in order to apply to the same college he attended. He guided you every step of the way lest you make any mistake and get rejected, and before you knew it, you were under your guardian angel’s wings again. Everything was as it should be. Your world was back on track. All the pieces fell—wait, what did he say? He thinks you should get some space from him? What the fuck is he on? You had this whole thing planned ever since you were little kids, and he seemed to be fully on board with that plan up until now. Isn’t that the entire reason you were here?  

“I’ve been on your back ever since you were born, but this is college, angel. You’re supposed to let loose a little and experience new things, and you can’t do that if I’m always around you like a second shadow. You’re on the same campus as me so I can still get to keep an eye on you and keep you safe. I don’t need to be your roommate too and be all up in your business all the time. You need a little space to grow and discover yourself.” 

He had explained it all so eloquently, so maturely; it made you want to gag. Who the fuck said you wanted space? It sure as hell wasn’t you. The entire reason you chose this college was so you can re-suture your hip to his and never separate again. If you had wanted space, there were a million other places you could’ve gone to instead of here. His whole explanation sounded like bullcrap to you, and it was just so unlike him. Your Jaehyun, Mr. overprotective in the flesh, telling you that he should back off and let you get loose? Yeah, you’re calling bullshit on this.

It didn’t take you long to find out the real reason why he refused to room with you, and it was just so typical, you actually burst out laughing in spite of the pain when you had caught him red-handed. You see, Jaehyun has developed a curious little womanizing streak in your absence. It was both unexpected and entirely predictable. Jaehyun was a man after all, and he had spent his whole life being the exemplary good boy who every mother wished her son would be more like. The only girl he interacted with beyond some cordial, totally neutered socialization was you, and you can unfortunately testify that your relationship was nothing more than an older brother-little sister type of thing. So of course odds were that he would give in to his physical needs eventually, and they say that the more repressed you were, the more freaky the meltdown gets.   To his credit, he tried to shield innocent, little you from his promiscuous ways, but alas, he was doomed to fail from the start. You just can’t hide your rendezvous when you’ve gone through half the student body already. Yup, shit sure got freaky. You wouldn’t have been nearly as crushed about this new development if it weren’t for how stupidly in love with him you are. Yes, stupid, dumb, idiotic you had to be every fucking cliché in the book and go and fall in love with your handsome, charming best friend who, of course, saw you as nothing other than a little sister. It was easy to delude yourself back home where your entire world was only a few blocks wide and Jaehyun’s sole attention was on you, but now he has dozens of beautiful women willing to warm his bed every night, and he’s burning through them like he was hell-bent on making up for the years of celibacy he had endured back home. Still you had enough sense of humor and self-awareness to laugh your ass off at the look on his face when you busted him. For a hot second, he tried to claim that the woman he was in bed with, who he didn’t even know the last name of, was his girlfriend and not the night’s flavor. You had sat there and listened to him dig himself into a progressively bigger hole until his partner finally cracked from the awkwardness and exposed his ass.

As much as you wanted to hate him for lying to you and, most importantly, for being with anyone who wasn’t you, you really couldn’t. He remained the same Jaehyun you’ve always known, always around and always there for you. He never let you down. It’s just that you now knew he wasn’t some kind of pure angel, but a grown man with needs and a very healthy sexual appetite. You could no longer continue to live in a fantasy world of your making where he was going to proclaim his love for you any minute now so you can go on and live the happily ever after you’ve been promised by every movie ever. You couldn’t even go the easy route and hate the women he slept with, call them sluts and whores and claim you’re so much better than them. Truth is, if you were in their place, you would’ve slept with him too. Who wouldn’t? He’s handsome and sweet and smart and the sun shines out of his ass. Any girl would be lucky to have him even if just for a night. You could only wish you were so lucky.     But despite how so uncharacteristically rational you were about this whole thing—and you gotta admit, you were damn proud of yourself for it—it was all still so surreal, and that feeling, that weird emptiness that came to reside in your chest in place of the fanciful love that once bloomed there, couldn’t be shaken off by any number of rational arguments or self-reflection. And you didn’t know what you had to do to fill that void so it wouldn’t swallow you whole.   It messed with your head sometimes, the emptiness; it told you that this was all his fault. It said that he had tricked you into wasting your life on him, that he purposefully fed into your delusion by the inordinate amount of attention and love he lavished on you. It spoke to you of how differently your life could’ve been if you had known how he felt from the start. For one, you wouldn’t have planned your whole life around him. And now you were stuck, forced to keep living in the ghost town you had built for him. So, desperate enough to take another page out of the book of clichés you so loved, you decided that since your years worth of love for him couldn’t possibly be replaced by the tepid, superficial affections that came with crushes and brand new relationships, you were just gonna have to go old school and fuck the bad feelings away. And surprisingly, it worked. For a couple of months, you attended every party on campus you could get into and refused to head home until you had someone in toe. It was awkward at first, for someone with zero experience like yourself, but you had lost the love of your life and were determined to find even a little bit of pleasure in this hell you suddenly found yourself thrown into. That determination paid off, and soon, you were floating high off your sexual awakening and all the new kinds of pleasure that came with it. Before coming to college, you never really thought about sex all that much, just the occasional guilty session where you’d rub one out to the thought of Jaehyun’s hands on you and him telling you what to do like he always did in real life. But those were few and far between and you always felt bad about it afterwards. Now it was entirely different. You reveled in your encounters. It felt good to allow yourself to feel pleasure and share it with someone who genuinely desired you. You got off on it—the effect you had on your partners. Contrary to how your dynamic was and is with Jaehyun, you were shocked to discover how much you enjoyed being the one in control every once in a while. It was much more than just sex to you, it was like discovering a whole other aspect of yourself that you never knew existed and would’ve never known about had Jaehyun not broken your heart. You were enjoying yourself and experiencing new things, just like he told you to, so it was just so fucking hilarious to see him right now, angry and pissed off at you for following the very same advice he gave you. You had noticed the building tantrum a week before it got bad enough for him to confront you about it. He always happened to be at the same parties you attended, and whenever you looked his way, he was always watching you, an ugly grimace on his face and an ominous look in his eyes that told you he was seconds away from ripping apart the person who was daring to touch you limb by limb. He was furious and visibly not in control of his emotions. Perhaps that was the reason why you could decipher another emotion in his eyes that you never saw directed at you before, desire. You didn’t know if it really was the first time he looked at you that way or if he always has but knew better to hide it, but that shit was like a drug to you, and you did everything in your power in order to fan that flame. You wore progressively more revealing clothes and acted progressively more wanton. You made sure he always had a good view of you as you put yourself in all kinds of compromising positions.   All your hard efforts culminated to this—him dragging you behind him to his dorm room after he snatched you away from the arms of your dance partner, whom you were practically dry humping on the dance floor.     Jaehyun flings you through the door and slams it behind him, his demeanor chilling. You’ve never seen him this angry before. You genuinely didn’t think that your guardian angel was capable of looking this menacing but somehow you managed to get him to this stage. It didn’t help that his bangs, which were normally styled down to give him a soft and fluffy look, were now sleeked back, making his features look severe and accentuating the fury in his eyes. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? What happened to you?”  “Enjoying my college life?” You hold your head high, refusing to feel belittled by him. “Weren’t you the one who told me to?” “I meant make friends and join clubs, not be the first contender for the title of campus whore!“ He shouts. You knew Jaehyun was drunk, catastrophically so, otherwise he wouldn’t dream of using that tone with you, let alone call you a whore, but it still pissed you off. You also happened to be equally as drunk as he is and fully prepared to retaliate. “Kinda hard to win that contest when you’re the reigning king. Or is it ok and cool when you fuck a different person every night but it’s dirty when I do it? I never took you to be so sexist, oppa.”  “Don’t play dumb, ___. It doesn’t matter what I think of it. You could pretend we live in an ideal world all you want and that a woman and a man can be treated equally, but this is the real world, sweetheart, and it’s ugly and unfair, and it doesn’t care about those naïve ideals you have cooked up in your pretty little head.” Jaehyun gets up in your face and taps on your skull with his fingers, mocking you. “The fact is that a man can sleep around and not catch any flack for it. Hell, he might even be idolized. But a woman like you does it and the size of her tits and how tight or loose her pussy is are the talk of every guy on campus. You may be enjoying yourself now but it won’t be so fun for you when you realize that you’ve made it so all the guys here think you’re only good for being a warm wet hole for them to stick their dicks into.”  You were hurt. Jaehyun has never talked to you like that before. Even during his worst moments, he always took care to choose his words carefully so he wouldn’t hurt you, but now it seemed like he wanted to hurt you. He was being vindictive and petty and nothing at all like the Jaehyun you knew, and it hurt you so bad but it also made you angry beyond belief. You weren’t stupid. You were perfectly aware of how fucked up this world is, but he’s your best friend and he’s supposed to be your slice of utopia in this world. That’s what he had always been. Even if the world was unfair, he always supported you and offered you reprise from it, not parroted the bigotry back at you and made you feel like you have to accept it. If all the guys on campus really thought that way about you then they could go fuck themselves. Anyone who adheres to that ridiculous double standard isn’t worth you wasting a single thought on them. The problem lied in the person that already meant the world to you and yet chose to treat you the same way all those fuckers did. “Do you see me as a hole to stick your dick into as well, oppa? Is that why you’re so fired up about this?” He gapes at you, scandalized. “Are you insane? Don’t talk like that.” “Why? It’s the truth. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me lately. Your dick wants to fuck this easy pussy, but your head is all conflicted about it because I’m your innocent, little girl and you’re not supposed to be thinking that way about me.” “You must be out of your fucking mind.” He hisses, and it really amazes you how he seemed to be getting angrier by the minute. You didn’t think it was humanely possible, but here he is reaching new heights with it. It should scare you off and that is clearly his intention, but the defensive undertone to his words rung clear in your ears and piqued a dangerous blend of curiosity and self-righteousness within you that urged you to expose him for all his lies.   He was standing so close to you that you only had to raise your hand in order to place it on his chest, “It’s ok, oppa. You’re a man too.” You slowly trail your hand up and down his firm torso, your ears attuned to the way his breathing got less steady with each pass of your hand over his lower stomach. “You’ve spent your whole life trying to distance yourself from the perverted and less civilized of your gender but this whole thing is forcing you to realize that you’re just like them, and all it took were showing a little bit of skin and being a little provocative for you to get off your high horse and deal with the fact that you want to wreck your little angel.” Your hand slides up to latch onto the nape of his neck, nails scratching lightly at the small hairs they find there. “You talk about other men, but it’s really you who is thinking those dirty things about me, right, oppa?”   Jaehyun remains frozen and unresponsive, but you could practically feel the barely suppressed anger unfurling under his skin. “So are you going to grow a pair and do something about it or are you going to continue hiding behind your fake concerns?” A tick in his jaw is all the warning you get before he’s grabbing a hold of you and bending you over the arm of the couch. Your shout of indignation cuts off into a sharp cry when you feel his large hand smack your ass. He might as well have slapped you right on the face for the flush that instantly colors it red. But it won’t be alone for long as Jaehyun seems intent on turning your ass even redder than your face is, delivering harsh, incessant smacks to both cheeks. “You just don’t know how to shut up, do you? You think you’re too grown to listen to your oppa anymore, huh? You think this is all fun and games?” He growls. “Oppa! What are you doing?” You shriek out. You were beside yourself with humiliation. Yes, you were goading him just a second ago but you never imagined he would actually do something like this! He chuckles mirthlessly, not stopping his assault. If anything he spanks you harder. “Where did the confident, sexually forward woman go? You’re gonna act all innocent now that you’re faced with the consequences of your actions? Well that’s too bad, angel, it’s a little late for that. If you wanna go around wearing big girl panties and acting like a slut, then you’ll be treated like one.” Fuck, this was so wrong, not just because of the degrading position and the way he was speaking down to you, but because of how much it was actually turning you on. The rumble in his voice and the rough, open-handed strikes he pelts your ass with do nothing but make you squirm with arousal. As you’re stuck trying to juggle between coming to terms with the embarrassing effect he has on you and simultaneously trying to hide it from him, you get struck with a sudden epiphany. You realize now why you had always allowed him to control your life; simply, you enjoyed it. You were just blissfully unaware of how much you’d enjoy him forcing you to submit to him. “Look at this, your skirt isn’t even covering your ass properly. Such a fucking slut.” He tuts, his hand taking a reprise from spanking you to rub over your red, exposed skin. “I can fucking see your pussy from here.” To prove his point, he insinuates his hand between your thighs, his fingers easily coming into contact with said panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet.” He purred, thrilled by your body’s honesty. “You like this, don’t you? You know you deserve to be punished.”  Impatient, he rips the panties down your legs and hurries to put his fingers on you again, moaning in appreciation when they touch the bare, velvety skin. “See? You’re a good girl. You just needed oppa to remind you.” Hearing him praise you like that, you couldn’t help yourself; you feel your pussy clenching around nothing, causing a small dribble of arousal to come out of your hole and coat Jaehyun’s fingers. “Damn, you really are needy. Now I see why you’re sleeping around so much. You can’t help yourself. You need someone to fill you up and take care of the ache in your pussy. Do you want me to do that for you, baby girl? Do you need oppa to stuff you with his cock and make the pain go away?” You feel yourself on the verge of tears, humiliated like you’ve never been before. Jaehyun is making you sound like some kind of a sex-crazed nymphomaniac which you weren’t at all, but it was hard to argue his point when just the light touch of his fingers on your pussy and the faint whiff of his cologne that permeated the air were making you hyperventilate. Feeling embarrassed but desperate, you push your ass back onto his finger and whine, hoping he would take some pity on you and spare you the degradation of having to say it outloud. He responds to that by removing his fingers entirely to deliver two cruel smacks to your already red and sore ass, his wet fingers leaving sticky stains on your cheeks. “That’s not how we ask for something, brat.” “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You wail, “It just hurts so bad!” “Where does it hurt, baby?” He coos, pretending to be concerned. He trails two fingers up and down your slit a few times before they settle against your hole, dipping inside shallowly. “Here?” “Yes! Please, oppa.” You cry out in frustration, putting all your effort into stopping yourself from pushing your ass back again to take his fingers deeper into you.   He hums, pleased with your answer, and rewards you by pushing his fingers all the way inside you, the width of them stinging a bit, but it still felt better than anything you’ve ever experienced before. Guess it’s true that sex with someone you love feels intensifies everything. You were getting so close already, and you try to pull your legs together to rub them against each other, but Jaehyun places himself between them and forces them back apart, smacking your ass with his free hand then massaging where he hit when he hears you whimpering in pain. “You’ve done so well already, don’t misbehave now.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you, and your legs shake with the effort to hold yourself up and keep them spread. Jaehyun notices your distress right away,“Oh, are you close, angel?” He taunts, “Are you that needy? Or do you just want oppa so bad?” “Please, can I cum?” You deflect the question, not feeling up to the effort it would take to lie to him but also not prepared to reveal your lifelong crush on him while you were bent over the couch getting fingered by him. That’s not what your nine year old self imagined it going at all. He sighs, but lets you get away with it. “Yes, sweetheart, you can cum.”   “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” You repeat like a mantra, feeling a sense of unrivaled euphoria ravage your body at how good his fingers feel inside you and how long you’ve been waiting for it. You’re boneless by the time your orgasm dies down, leaving you exhausted and vulnerable to the effects of the alcohol that was finally taking a toll on you. So when you hear the sounds of a zipper going down and a foil package getting ripped opened, you whine insolently, worried that your poor tired body might not be able to survive getting fucked by him if he continues being this rough with you. “Hush, brat.” He slaps you, this time over your sensitive pussy making you spasm in shock before falling boneless again. He gathers you in his arms and lays you on your back on the couch, pulling your thighs tight against your chest. Keeping your legs spread and heels in the air, he pushes himself inside you, grunting, “Take my cock like a good girl. This is what you wanted after all.” When he’s all the way inside you, his breath leaves him in a shaky sigh, and he takes a moment before he starts moving. But when he does, he doesn’t hold back, snapping his hips into you as hard as he had smacked your ass earlier, as if intending to make this into a punishment as well.  It was certainly just as humiliating, for he pushes your top and bra up to your chin so he could leer at your breasts as they bounce up and down with every thrust while his hands keep your legs spread wide with your heels up in the air. You felt every bit the slut he was accusing you of being, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from drenching his cock in your juices, overwhelmed by a crude sense of pleasure at being manhandled and used by him, at having the man you’ve loved all your life claiming you in such a primal way. “Fuck, you’re tightening up.” He drawls, the words heavy on his tongue as he snaps his hips into you harder to overcome the resistance.   Are you gonna cum again? You like my cock that much. baby?” You turn your head to the side, trying to bury your face in the cushions to hide from him, but Jaehyun doesn’t allow it. He stops his movement and tugs on your hair sharply, forcing you to face him again. He bends down so his upper body is draped over you, his face mere inches from yours. The new position has his other hand pressing your thigh harder against your chest, making it cramp, and you whimper in pain. “Oppa, it hurts.”   “Say it, angel.” He lets go of your thigh and moves his hand to your lower abdomen, his thumb hovering just above your clit. “Tell oppa how much you like his cock and I’ll let you cum again.”

His gaze pierces yours, ordering more than asking you to obey him, and it’s a crime how sexy he looks even as his skin glistens and his bangs stick to his forehead with sweat. His figure looms over yours and he exudes a dominance you were no match for. You never were. So, meekly, submissively, you give him what he wants. “I like it so much.” “Like what?” His gaze doesn’t free yours as his hips pick up the pace again. It smolders, lighting your every nerve ending on a fire that is fanned by the grunts and moans that escape through his clenched teeth as he feels your walls clenching down on him.   “Your cock, oppa. I like your cock so much.” You really did. His cock fills you up just right, just a little bit too big so it give you that delicious burn as it forces its way between your walls, but not too big to actually hurt you. All that sleeping around must’ve did wonders for his skills because he knew just how to move his hips, which angle to hit to make your mind go blank and submit to him. “Please let me cum on your cock.” You whine, fearing that the overwhelming pleasure might short-circuit your heart if it didn’t find a release soon. “Plea—AH, fuck, Jae, Jae!” It only takes a couple of flicks of his thumb to have you spasm around him. He fucks you through it, grunting with effort as your walls get even tighter, making it harder for him to keep fucking you, but he doesn’t stop. Your orgasm feels never ending as he drags it out in order to reach his own, stretching your nerves thin with the over stimulation. Finally, finally, his hips stutter and he give you one last brutal thrust before he groans and collapses over you. His sweaty body, his hot breaths in the crook of your neck, and his cock throbbing inside of you as he cums almost suffocate you. The heat of him around you, inside of you, is overwhelming, and you feel like you’re trapped inside a furnace. Just before you start gasping for breath, he gets off of you, taking care to not let the condom slip inside of you as he pulls it off and ties it then gets up to dispose of it. Without his body warmth, and his warm presence, your entire body erupts into goosebumps, and you quickly yearn for his suffocating heat once again. Luckily, Jaehyun’s absence doesn’t last for long. Ever the gentleman, he comes back with a wet, warm towel that he uses to clean up the mess you’ve made between your legs. When he’s done, he tosses it to the side and scoops you up in his arms, taking you to his room. He sets you down on the bed gently, taking care to avoid putting pressure on your bruised bottom. You’re like a rag doll in his hands as he strips you down and dresses you up in one of his big shirts. He then grabs some cream, and coaxing you to lie on your stomach, he massages it on your reddened bottom, kissing the top of your head softly every time you wince in pain. When he’s done with everything, he engulfs you in his arms and whispers a soft good night in your ear.      

And sure it felt great to be treated so tenderly by him, that was one of the reasons you were so ready to submit to him in the first place; Jaehyun always knew how to make it worth your while. He knew how to pamper you so you’d strive to please him in order to get more of it.

On the surface of it, this looked like everything you’ve ever wanted, if only it wasn’t ruined by your knowledge that it was decidedly not. This isn’t a boyfriend caring for his lover after sharing a heated moment of intimacy. This was… well, you didn’t even know what the hell it was, and the huge question mark that hung in the air kept you from deriving any sense of enjoyment out of the situation.

You need to talk about what just happened. You needed to know what this means. Did Jaehyun like you too or was this just a sexual thing? Does he even find you sexually attractive or was he just drunk and pissed off? Is this something that could possibly happen again? Can there be something more?

You had so many questions to ask, but your eyelids were heavy and your mind was heavier, and before you knew it, it shut down on you mid-thought and plunged you into the blissful land of slumber.

“Let’s go get your stuff.”

“What?” You croak, barely having woken up yet, not to mention that some motherfucker was pounding on the inside of your skull like he was trying to break out.

Jaehyun stares at you, his eyes unnerving and entirely too sober. “You’re moving in with me. I need to keep a closer eye on you from now on. I won’t let you continue living this kind of lifestyle.”

Just like that, all sleep flew from your mind.

“What the actual fuck, Jaehyun?” You explode, “At least make a girl some breakfast before you go full chauvinist on her.”

“That’s not funny.” He deadpans, “I’m worried about you.”

“Well, you don’t need to. I’m a big girl. I don’t need you to check for monsters under my bed anymore.” You retort, incredibly annoyed that this was the direction the conversation was taking. This isn’t what you thought you’d be talking about. Dumb, little girl.

“Here we go again.” He rolls his eyes, and your cheeks flame at how condescending the gesture was. “You’re just a child who is playing at being an adult. You don’t realize the mess you’re getting yourself into. I can’t stand by and let you ruin yourself like this. I’ve taken care of you your whole life and I’m not about to stop now, even if you’re going to hate me for it.”

“I’m not your fucking doll, Jaehyun. Don’t I get to have a say in my own life? God, are you even listening to yourself?” You massage your forehead, unable to contend with both the headache and the unreasonable man. It was different when you were drunk and horny and trying to get into his pants, but now his words sounded just as ridiculous to you as they were. “If I had known you’d turn into this sexist, controlling asswipe the moment I did something you didn’t like, I would never have come here.”

He flinches at your words, looking wounded, but you can’t find it in you to feel sorry for him. He brought this on himself.

“I only want what’s best for you, angel.” He takes your hand between his own but you yank it away.

“You think slutshaming and controlling me is what’s best for me? It’s what’s best for you. You can’t handle that I’m not the virginal little girl you used to know and that I’m now a woman with an actual sex drive. You don’t like the ugly truth it’s making you confront about yourself so you want to force me to wear my old skin again so you can go on pretending you’re still the nice guy you always thought you were. You’re such a fucking hypocrite, Jaehyun.”  

“You’re right. I am a hypocrite. I criticized you for the same thing I gave myself a pass for, and that’s not fair.”

“Thank you.” You mumble, finding it strange how he gave in so easily, but feeling relieved nonetheless.

“So I should stop too. I won’t fuck around anymore. I’ll clean up my act and go back to being the older brother you deserve.”

“What?” You sputter, dumbfounded. “That’s not what I’m saying. You can fuck whoever you want. I don’t care.”

Your protest was weak and you knew it. You did care, a whole fucking lot. You were accusing him of being a hypocrite, yet here you are, ready to denounce your sexual awakening in exchange for keeping him celibate as well. It just hurt so bad to see him with all those women, and it never, ever got better. So if the price of you never having to see that sight again is sacrificing your own sexual freedom then would that really be so bad? You’ve lived through that before. You’re used to it.

“I know you don’t.” He gives you a strange smile, one you’ve never seen on his face before, and yet it feels so profoundly familiar. When he takes your hand in his again, you let him. “But I care. I care about being someone you respect and look up to, and I won’t achieve that by sleeping around.”

“I would still respect you even if you slept around, oppa. It’s your choice. I don’t want to snuff out your love life.” Your words said one thing, but your body language said another. You were looking at him with big, wet eyes and a woeful face that you knew he could never resist. You were playing the role of the martyr who is willing to sacrifice her own happiness in order to make him happy, because you knew that Jaehyun would never allow that to happen.

“You’re not snuffing out my love life. I can still date.” You couldn’t keep your face from visibly falling at that, and he hurries to clarify, thinking that your problem lied in his double standards again rather than your jealousy over him being with another woman. “And you can too! I’m not against you finding a nice guy and building a long lasting and loving relationship with him. On the contrary, that would make me so happy.”

He gives you a bright smile that you mirror with your own soulless one, but he doesn’t notice your lack of enthusiasm, and continues on. “I know that sleeping around isn’t necessarily a bad thing nor does it make you a bad person, but I just want to make sure that no one is taking advantage of you and that you’re safe and with someone who deserves you. Of course, he’d have to come through me first.” He chuckles, but this time you don’t even bother giving him a reaction.

“Is that alright with you, angel?” His knuckles caress your cheek softly, and you close your eyes, leaning into his touch and resigning yourself to a life of being wrapped around his finger. “Yes, oppa.”

A/N: I’m on hiatus so I don’t have time to pour over this story as I normally would have so excuse the cheese and the cliches. Anyway feedback keeps me alive so I’d love to hear from you guys.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

So this’ll probably be a multiple part submission, but again it’s the “ISTJ 4w5” anon here with more info about myself for better typing. Sorry it took so long to get back, I was out of town. So I read your post about what information is helpful when typing so I’ll do my best. Basically, I’ve gone back and forth with all different types, trying to find my best fit. A friend of mine who’s pretty knowledgeable about mbti was the one who suggested I may be ISTJ for a few reasons: I usually (1/?)

think everything through at least a little-as I’ve gotten older I’ve become a lot more spontaneous and adventurous about things, I love new experiences too-but even with these things I still think about how I’ll get it to work, what the possible repercussions will be, exactly what I need to do to accomplish things, etc., so Judging would make sense for my personality. I do actually do tons of research on most things beforehand, sometimes I’ll get lazy and “just do it” but I almost always (2/?)

go into something with at least a little foreknowledge. I also make decisions with my head, so for that reason it seemed like it made sense for me to have thinking as my dominant judging function, because I always choose the most logical option/what will yield the best result, sometimes based on what has worked in the past. But I’m not against new suggestions, because I look at what will work the best or yield the best result as I said before. But I will lean towards things that have worked(3/?)

before if they seem to be the best solution. I didn’t think I could be a Thinking dominant because for me there’s no way I could have inferior Feeling, which is why the stackup of a Perceiving function followed by Thinking and Feeling made sense-because I always check in with my values/feelings before making a decision but always rely on objective logic first-which I’ve heard is a staple of Te vs Ti subjective logic. But if I completely disagree with the morality of a choice I won’t do it.(4/?)

Basically, I’ll always find a way to make things work unless it’s absolutely impossible. Im pretty stubborn. I’m dependable and if I say I will do something I always do it. I have a good memory and I remember minor things my friends or people in my life tell me for a long time, just little details. I always need details when someone is telling me a story, or relaying something that happened, because I like to know specifics and analyze them. I strictly adhere to external logic when analyzing(5/?

(Im starting from where I think I left off bc tumblr wasn’t sending them) But if I completely disagree with the morality of a choice I won’t do it. Basically, I’ll always find a way to make things work unless it’s absolutely impossible. Im pretty stubborn. I’m dependable and if I say I will do something I always do it. I have a good memory and I remember minor things my friends or people in my life tell me for a long time, just little details. I always need details (6?/?)

and specifics and analyze them. I strictly adhere to external logic when analyzing things too, like my conclusions need to match up with the objective logic I use. I’m not much for rules or traditions like most ISTJ stereotypes go, but stereotypes are just that and aren’t what’s important to look at when typing. I have certain traditions that I appreciate but I’m almost always open to an adventure or new experience. I like the idea of making new memories as well, and I love learning new things.(7/?)

Idk how much of the last asks even sent, ugh. Anyway: I’m aware of my surroundings; I mean I can get lost in my own world or distracted like anybody else but my mood is heavily influenced by my environment. I get “vibes” from an environment and just kind of feel like they’re good or bad. Oftentimes a “good” vibe will be something that invokes a positive memory or experience, but it can also just be because it’s pleasant in some way. My comfort is important to me and I like to be in touch (8/?)

I can be spontaneous, but I’m not reckless because I always think things through at least preliminarily. I just believe in seizing the moment and making the most of an experience, so I love “adrenaline junkie” activities. Usually that’s an Se stereotype, it’s something I can relate to but I wouldn’t call myself impulsive because I analyze pretty much everything. I just have noticed that I can be more adventurous than my Se dom friend, which is interesting. But it’s all about how one thinks.(8/?)

For the zillionth time my tumblr was acting all wack and idk how many parts of my ask sent, so let’s hope they did... I’m aware of my surroundings; I mean I can get lost in my own world or distracted like anybody else but my mood is heavily influenced by my environment. I get “vibes” from an environment and just kind of feel like they’re good or bad. Oftentimes a “good” vibe will be something that invokes a positive memory or experience, but it can also just be because it’s pleasant somehow(8?/?

My comfort is important to me and I like to be in touch with my 5 senses, always. I often pick up on details other people miss but I can be as oblivious as anyone else on a bad day. I would consider myself a fairly intuitive person, but definitely not an abstract iNtuitive-type. Im just pretty perceptive about things, it’s something those close to me always tell me. I get senses or vibes from people when I meet them, and I’ve had plenty of experiences where I’ll get a certain vibe from (9/?)

mom sometimes, but that could be due to maturity. I used to think I was an iNtuitive, but I realized I am actually most likely a sensor who was mistyped thanks to bad descriptions due to intuitive bias. I know the only real difference is Sensing focuses on the here/now and the past, drawing on resources and memory, and using concrete, linear thinking, likes details and being in touch with surroundings, etc. I really dislike abstract thinking and I always need practical real life examples (10/?)

applications in order for me to care. I like the abstract symbolism in art, music, etc. And in that sense I like to determine what the real meaning is. So I don’t hate abstractions but they’re not my favorite, so an Ne weak spot in that department would make a lot of sense for me. I just hate abstract theories on things that have no real use or meaning to me. I also know that an “I” type doesn’t always mean one is a true introvert because it’s all about functions, but I’m almost positive I(11/?)

am one because I’m definitely an introvert and my primary thought process is always done internally. I’ve done so much research on mbti and enneagram, which my friend also thought could be due to wanting to discover my true identity, which I’ve heard is an enneagram 4 thing. Discovering my identity is very important to me. Obviously I’m not an expert, I’m just a person who wants to understand themself and has researched and read a lot to be able to do that (12/?)

There’s definitely parts of personality theory that I don’t know, but I definitely know more than anyone else I know personally in my life, it’s kind of become a hobby I guess. I just really want to know my type, not to flaunt it like some badge of honor for being a super “rare” or “cool” type; I want to know so I can grow as a person and understand myself and how I think and make decisions so I can see my reasoning and improve myself. Anyway I hope this info helps, I love your blog (13/14)

and thanks for taking the time to read all this horrific mess. (14/14)

---------------------------------------

I wrote a much longer response but it was very piecemeal as these came through.

In short: my guess would be SFP, either ISFP or ESFP.

Reasoning: I think in your attempts to avoid intuitive stereotypes you fell into a whole lot of stereotypes about Se that led you not to type as using it even though you seem very clearly a high Se user to me. You don’t provide many specific examples, ironically enough (eg: a lot of people say they get vibes, but there is a difference between ‘I regularly guess information about people that they are shocked I could figure out’ and ‘I can tell when people are sad sometimes’ and people use ‘vibes’ for both), so Ti vs. Fi is more difficult as you don’t really provide examples of your logic and there’s a lot of tautology. That said your motivations for MBTI as true identity (which...it is not your true identity, please do not think of any personality theory as such, they’re all generic archetypes of your identity) seem more in line with Fi as do some other things. Some observations:

-most people think their actions through to some extent. Some more than others but even spontaneous Ne and Se users have like, a thought and don’t just leap blindly. You don’t really provide an example here of your planning or your adventurousness.

-”I make decisions with my head” and “I always choose the most logical option” are actually signs to me that you don’t have a great sense of self-awareness. No one always chooses the most logical option unless they’re a robot. We all do irrational things sometimes, and honestly, how do you even decide what’s more logical in a lot of decisions?

-while it is true that Te uses objective logic and Ti uses subjective logic, people are very bad at telling which they use - which isn’t a judgment on them or you, but it also means that if someone says “I use objective logic” it doesn’t really mean anything. You need to tell me what decisions you make that are objective.

-If you have moral stances but do things that completely contradict them...then you don’t have moral stances, you just say you do. So this is tautological.

-Lots of people can be stubborn; dependability is more stereotypically judgers but I’ve met some exceptionally reliable perceivers; it’s a learned skill that smart people learn to develop regardless of type.

-contrary to stereotype, while some Si-doms do have a great memory (I think mine is better than average) plenty don’t; the capacity to remember details is more sensing because of the detail-oriented nature.

-similar to the objective logic statement it would be helpful to understand what you mean by external logic.

-being always open to an adventure or new experience is not really likely in high Si users until they’re pretty old. I mean, I am as discussed in the midst of a bunch of new experiences and while I’ve moved and started new jobs/school a few times and am used to it I am still kind of constantly fighting the urge to just hide in my new apartment (not having wifi in it is ‘helping’). The fact that you also are an adrenaline junkie is really not typical of Si-doms at all.

-Finally: introversion. Your writing style strikes me as extroverted. You don’t provide examples. I would need to know more about what you mean by “your thought process is internal” because like, that is what thoughts are - internal. Extroverts still have a full inner monologue.

My guess is you’re a type 4 ESFP who is in the midst of tert-Te development and so you are currently identifying very strongly with logic and productivity. However, it’s also very possible you’re an organized ISFP; my ISFP sister is one of those. As mentioned a lot of people realize that being flaky isn’t really a good look; a lot of SFPs are also very practical (high Se) and place a high value on reliability as a moral trait or identity trait. I find the nature of Fi and Ti is such that it’s really hard for people who use them to always know which one they use because they’re so subjective by nature; high Fi users often see their moral decisions as logical and high Ti users often see their logical decisions as also moral (unless they are of the edgy, “I have no morals” sort).

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Ant-Man (2015)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, once.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (22.22% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Fourteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

It’s delightful. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Maggie passes with Cassie as she puts her to bed.

Female characters:

Peggy Carter.

Hope Van Dyne.

Cassie.

Maggie.

Male characters:

Howard Stark.

Hank Pym.

Scott Lang.

Peachy.

Luis.

Dale.

Kurt.

Dave.

Darren Cross.

Frank.

Paxton.

Gale.

Mitchell Carson.

Sam Wilson.

OTHER NOTES:

Dave calls Scott a pussy, and Scott is not fussed at all about accepting the attempted insult.

Ah, the old ‘wish you’d call me dad’ cliche, the most worn-out lazy way to establish an antagonistic parent/child relationship. 

“a sustainable environment of well-being”, what an excellent fascist euphemism.

Maggie is very reasonable with Scott about the conditions for seeing Cassie; it’s refreshing to not have this played as ‘harpy ex-wife refuses to let man see his child because she’s just the worst!’ Maggie has a child to look after - and has been doing so for years now while Scott was in jail - and she has every right to impose rules on how things proceed, Scott doesn’t get to just march in and have things his way ‘because she’s my daughter!’ Children are not possessions or status symbols, and this movie does a nice job of recognising that and having the adult characters recognise that and behave in reasonable and understanding ways for Cassie’s benefit rather than their own egos. Other films should take note. Also, real people.

“Yeah man, it killed DiCaprio.”

Turning lambs into goo is worse than kicking puppies. What a monster.

They do a pretty solid job with the reason for Hope not being allowed to don the suit instead. It has strong potential for seeming like flat-out sexism, the idea that a woman can’t get the job done (in universe) and that a female hero won’t sell (out universe), and while that may indeed still be the core reason, they still pull off the reasoning as if it’s genuine.

Pym’s excuse for why he never told Hope the truth about her mother’s death, on the other hand, is pretty fuckin’ weak. Tell people to stop pretending ‘I was trying to protect you’ is a reasonable explanation for lies. It’s super-high - easily Top 5 - on my list of Worst and Most Tedious Cliche Lines.

Kurt suggests that the suit is the work of gypsies and it’s...not the best line they could have picked. Something less racist instead, maybe? No?

Cross is really fixated on Pym as a father figure. It’s different. I like different.

“That’s a messed-up looking dog.”

Scott and Paxton making peace is so great. Paxton peeing in all the corners and Scott being all jealous and threatened by Paxton ‘usurping his place in the family’ would have been such a predictable cliche for them to use, and this very palatable mature adult behaviour is sooo much better. This is how you stop normalising petty possessive rivalries. 

Luis is magical, and also, mad cultured. I love it, but I love even more that they don’t hang a lantern on it, they just let it be part of his character.

Ok, I confess, this is probably gonna be a weird sort of meandering review, because I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts for two months gathering dust while I deal with the mental and physical fatigue of the first trimester of a pregnancy (it’s FUN), and now the due date for this post (pun definitely intended) is right on the horizon, so...I’m just gonna get it done, and it’ll be whatever the heck it is in the end. This is not a complex film filled with deep nuance, it’s basically just an action-y heist movie with some hand-waved scifi on top. And there’s ants. It’s not a hard film to talk about, so you’ll excuse me if it doesn’t get my very best effort. I’m kinda busy growing a human over here.

I remember a lot of grumbling and even some outrage in fandom, back when this film was announced; a lot of people upset that the MCU was bringing in a comparatively little-known and perhaps little-loved superhero like Ant-Man when they still hadn’t bothered with a single female-led film yet, and various complaints about the problematic nature of the Ant-Man character from the comics (referring, I believe, to the Hank Pym version). And then, of course, there was the doubt about whether or not an Ant-Man story was just a fucking idiotic idea in the first place, what with the questionable application of science and the even more questionable appeal of a tiny little man running around playing with ants. Expectations were not high. And yet, Ant-Man pulls through, not just with a great fun romp, but with what I consider one of the more entertaining films the MCU has churned out to date.

I have made my fair share of sour comments about previous films in the MCU and their unimaginative paint-by-numbers plots, and so what I’d like to talk about with Ant-Man is how it manages to be such a success to me despite an essentially uncomplicated story that follows a predictable narrative arc the likes of which we’ve all seen a hundred times before. The basic tenets of a heist movie are all there; the basic tenets of a good vs evil story play straight, alongside a low-key but typical redemption plot, and some plight-of-the-regular-guy vs corporate greed and warmongering, and the leading man hooks up with the leading lady in the end and proves himself as a hero to his family and all that jazz. We know every one of these story and character beats. So. Why do they work?

Let me back this up a second to talk about a couple of major-league pet peeves of mine, the one a microcosmic version of the other: firstly, when people say ‘all Marvel films are basically the same’, and secondly, the Advanced Level Faux-Intellectual Douche version of that sentiment, when people declare that ‘there’s no such thing as originality anymore! There are only seven types of story in the world anyway! Everything is derivative!’ It’s an obnoxious absence of a viewpoint that betrays a lack of imagination and a use of such broad-strokes surface-level comprehension as to be essentially meaningless. Sure, if you break down story concepts to their most fundamental core drives, you can summarise their arcs in a relatively small number of ways, and familiarity with these core concepts can provide a degree of predictability in the way things play out. But that doesn’t mean that every single version of, say, the classic Hero’s Journey is the same damn story, and therefore a useless derivation from which no entertainment or message can be gleaned. If someone asks you to tell them the plot of a movie and you just go ‘oh, it’s a Hero’s Journey’ and leave it at that, you’ve told them almost nothing about what to actually expect. The Matrix is a very, very different Hero’s Journey to The Lord of the Rings, which is a very different Hero’s Journey to Finding Nemo, which is not at all the same as Iron Man. And which of them is closest to The Odyssey, anyway? One of the most obvious differences with all of those examples is genre, and the traditional trappings which often (but not always) follow from them. Sure, the MCU films tend to all fit superhero-comic genre conventions, and some of them (particularly origin stories, as with Iron Man and Thor) may employ a lot of the same tropes while they’re at it. But does anyone really, genuinely think that Ant-Man is ‘basically the same’ as Captain America: The First Avenger? Is Guardians of the Galaxy almost indistinguishable from Black Panther? Does anyone who says ‘Marvel movies are all basically the same’ actually believe the words out of their own mouth, or do they just hope it makes them sound smart if they imply that they’re ‘above’ enjoying mainstream popcorn action?

All of this is to say, what makes Ant-Man work where other trope-heavy films fall apart? The same thing that makes literally any story ever work, and be worthwhile, whether it ‘breaks barriers’ or ‘teaches something’ or is considered ‘high art’ or not: details. Some films are too light on details, which makes them boring because they never really bother to build anything on top of those core foundations we know so well. Sometimes, the details - numerous as they might be - are too generic to have an impact, and the dull result is the same. Sometimes the details are too absurd to land, or there are too many to keep track of, or they require too much extraneous qualification to fit into the flow of the rest of the story, or they’re irrelevant to the rest of the story anyway. The thing about details? There are countless options. People come up with new ideas all the time, through the exercise of imagination or through developments and innovations in the real world. Basic, core plot arcs may be distilled to a handful of options, but story details are limitless, and the possibility of fun new combinations is always there, whether you’re inventing something entirely never-before-seen or not. The idea that you have to be shocking and unexpected to be worthwhile is ridiculous, and shepherds illogical contrivances and gimmicks without narrative cohesion or purpose much more often than it achieves something genuinely surprising with merit (and storytelling that prioritises ‘shocking twists’ is usually so busy trying to look clever it forgets to actually be clever, but, that’s another conversation). The point is, Ant-Man being a delightful film isn’t rocket science. It’s as simple as just a little forethought in the construction of its details.

As noted back near the top, the whole Ant-Man concept and its wobbly science was something that drew some doubt regarding whether or not it could be pulled off in a convincing manner; the solution to achieving that is to do more than just lean in to the idea. The film throws itself whole-heartedly into its core conceit and its tropes, and it drags us along with it to gleefully delight in the act. The story is not embarrassed by itself, it doesn’t try to keep its distance; instead, it gives us a flying ant named Antony, and a dramatic death scene for that ant. What is the point of the Pym particle science conceit if we don’t enjoy the comedic potential of an epic battle inside a briefcase, or on a child’s train set? Relevant to this also is the subject of casting choices (as much a detail-of-interest as anything; a single casting choice can legitimately make or break a film). Paul Rudd has a perfect blend of leading-man charisma and affable comedic chops; he plays Scott as a beta-personality, which is always a refreshing change-up for a lead, and one which invites other refreshing changes around him. It avoids tedious masculine antics in his interactions with other men, while encouraging balanced and respectful interactions with women; Scott never asserts himself as the boss or leader in his relationship with Luis and the rest of his crew, allowing for a smoothly-cooperative dynamic; no time or plot is wasted on pointless jostling for control of the operation with Pym; the idea that Scott needs to prove himself to the three female characters in his life - Hope, Maggie, and Cassie, each for similar but different reasons - is given legitimate weight, instead of implying that Scott and his perspective is inherently superior and correct and the onus is on the other characters to realise that, rather than being on him to live up to other people’s reasonable expectations. It should come as no surprise that the latter element is especially interesting and heartening in the context of this blog.

This is particularly good news when it comes to the kinds of relatively minor details which can make a huge difference in whether or not one reflects on a film in a positive or negative manner; the fact that the narrative supports and validates Hope’s anger, her frustration and resentment and her all-business-no-fun attitude, is vital to keeping a viewer like myself on-side with the film. Hope is never presented as someone who should ‘just loosen up’, or ‘have faith in her father’s plan’, the fact that she is denied the Ant-Man technology because Pym ‘can’t bare to risk losing her’ is offered as a reason but not as an excuse for something deeply patronising, and Scott proving that he can get the job done despite Hope’s misgivings about him is not framed as her being ‘wrong’ - her concerns were legitimate, as all her emotions across the film are, and the story never compromises on that in order to bolster another character. Whether or not Hope is well-handled is not important to the operation of the central narrative plot in a technical sense, but it means a lot in terms of delivering strong characters with satisfying arcs, and a central plot can easily fall flat if the characters participating in it don’t work well, individually or together.

I’m trying to wrap this up coherently, but it’s just as well that I disclaimered myself in the beginning because all I’ve got are frayed pieces of, probably, five other paragraphs I could waffle about. It’s not a complex film, no, but it has a surprising amount of quality details, the more I think about it, even regarding aspects of the movie that I liked less than others (Pym, for example, I did not love, but I like that the movie never tried to pass off his ‘genius’ as an excuse for him being a significantly flawed figure in the lives of most people who encountered him, often with bitter consequences. I’m also a big fan of the fact that both he and Scott have complicated but loving relationships with their daughters, considering that Hollywood has a hyper-obsession with the idea of ‘A Man And His Son’ as the beating heart of family narratives). I’m going to close this out with what may be my personal favourite refreshing detail of this movie, and that’s the mature adult relationship between Scott, Maggie, and Paxton. I mentioned it already in the notes, but honestly, how many times have we seen that toxic cliche, with the shrewish ex-wife and the terrible new man in her life, where the main character (who is Doing His Best!) has to prove through [insert plot heroics] that ex-wife is WRONG and should have stayed with him, the father of her child(ren), because did we mention, her new man is terrible and the main character is always right and good and better! In the end, ex-wife almost certainly leaves her terrible new man to get back together with the main character, because he is Doing His Best and that’s more important than actually being a stable/responsible person! The American nuclear family is the ideal! Divorce is for heathens! Y’all know that toxic plot. I can think of three different examples of it in action right off the top of my head, with no effort required. Point is, the degree to which I was utterly thrilled by this movie subverting cliche at every turn of its family saga really cannot be overstated. Maggie is a reasonable person! Scott respects that Cassie’s needs are more important than his wants! Paxton cares about his family and genuinely wants Scott to land on his feet, for the benefit of everyone! There’s no jealous posturing and Scott acting all hurt about being ‘replaced’! HE LITERALLY THANKS PAXTON FOR EVERYTHING HE DOES, WHEN HAVE I EVER SEEN THAT BEFORE?! Honestly, you don’t have to tell the most original story in the world to tell a story that resonates. You don’t even have to avoid common tropes, you just have to think about what you want to do with them. It’s not rocket science. It’s just good honest storytelling.

With ants.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2018 Anime Overview: Planet With

What a strange, unexpected little gem this show is.

Planet With follows an amnesiac young boy named Soya Kuroi who lives with strange roommates- an upbeat but mysterious girl named Ginko and giant cat monster ...thing. One day, a strange alien spaceship arrives where Soya lives and a squad of superheroes valiantly battle to protect the town from this threat. Ginko shows up and tells Soya he needs to jump in this giant cat robot and fight. No, not fight the invading aliens. He has to fight the superheroes.

Planet With starts out being jam-packed with plot and unabashedly weird and stays that way. The show moves at an absolutely breakneck pace. It stuffs 50 episodes worth of robot anime into twelve, and contains like three different climactic battles. There’s even a time skip. But the weird thing is...it works. Planet With is downright inspirational in its storytelling efficiency. It packs in so many characters and SO much happens, yet somehow it manages to use its time wisely enough that I ended up caring about pretty much all of its many characters and their development felt natural rather than forced. And despite the intensity and volume of events, the plot remained coherent and entertaining. 

There were a couple parts that did feel rushed, and since it was so much at once I feel like I need to rewatch to fully grasp the series, but most of all, I’m impressed by the way this show somehow distilled The Full Wacky Space Battle Anime Experience (tm) into a short time frame. And the animation is good! It is bold and action packed and works well for the show. 

And the quickness of how Planet With handled things made it downright refreshing (and hilarious) at times. I’ll give an example: Soya’s civilian friend (and obvious love interest), Nozomi, catches on extremely quickly to the fact he’s doing robot battles, basically guesses his entire backstory based off his weird behavior and just as quickly starts questioning him about it. Soya’s reaction to this is to freak out and run away- at which point Nozomi football tackles him and basically yells “NO ITS OKAY YOU CAN TRUST ME!” and he quickly gives in, explains his weird situation to her, and is like “uh. so. not sure if that sounds at all believable but. you asked.”

Not only is the honest communication nice to see, not only does it genuinely sell that Nozomi s the smart cookie the narrative has set her up to be, but its charming as hell and feels so natural to who these characters are. The fact Soya’s first reaction to being exposed is to just stammer and BOLT DOWN THE STREET reminds you that, yes, this is a teenager, and Nozomi’s refusal to let him get away and how she throws all dignity out the window to make her point is just....it gives me so much affection for them both. They’re kids and they’re ridiculous and I love them. Having Nozomi let in the loop so quickly is refreshing, it makes their relationship feel genuinely trusting and equal, there’s just a lot going on in just that one scene that I love.

Let’s talk about character a little more, because Planet With has a very vibrant cast. Soya comes off as a typical hotheaded shonen protagonist, and well, he is, but as you learn more about him and the situation he’s facing, you realize he’s trying his best to cope with some huge stuff. He has a good arc and matures a lot. What especially struck me is this moment where Soya realizes he has no reason to fight anymore, he’s just a kid who’s not involved, he shouldn’t be asked to do this, and though he’s been channeling his grief into fighting, he just can’t anymore, he’s tired and overwhelmed and sad. It’s nice to see the show touching on how unfair it is to ask a child to fight, and actually having the other characters react to this with understanding rather than trying to force him to continue is....really nice to see.

Each character has their own fears and insecurity to grapple with,which is especially apparent in the scenes where the spaceship messes with their minds and gives them the dream world they desire- a couple of those scenes are genuinely heartbreaking and striking.

Even the antagonists are given layers and its shown why they think what they’re doing is right. The show centers thematically on how to suppress and respond to violence and it explores various sides of that debate. Can humanity be trusted with power? Is extreme pacifism or extreme force the way to deal with problems? What is the value of revenge? Is freedom or safety more important? Can we forgive and move past horrible wrongs? You may not end up agreeing with the show’s conclusion on all this, but the fact it confronts these questions so directly and really gives them some thought is nice. You can see WHY this is a conflict, and where both sides are coming from.

The show also has a pretty good-sized and solid cast of female characters and doesn’t treat them like garbage! it actually gives a lot of them solid arcs where they develop and go through all kinds of different emotions, always a plus! 

Ginko may give a slight impression of being a airhead catgirlmaid cliche at first, but she soon shows herself to have wisdom and depth- her role in the narrative was one of the most pleasant surprises. She was way more involved in the fight than I thought she’d be and the found family she formed with Soya is one of the sweetest things about the show. 

Nozomi’s character development is largely tied up in her relationship to Soya, so I kinda wish she had stuff going on besides being his supporter, but I do adore how she was treated with respect by the narrative, bought in on things as a civilian, and how brave and smart and loyal she is. She’s inspiring to Soya with her kindness and inspiring in general. And their relationship is genuinely sweet.

There’s an entire mini-arc focusing on the bond between two of the superhero girls- Miu and Harumi- and it is very dramatic and very gay and very about ladies inspiring and connecting with and saving each other, y’know, all the stuff i’m here for. We also had Benika, a badass lady is a suit (always gets a thumbs up from me) who had her own arc, and a woman who was on the semi-antagonist side. The women are all treated as competent and capable in combat. 

The show is relatively mild on fanservice for a shonen-mech show and doesn’t get too gross or over-the top- probably the most noticeable scene is a conversation in a hot-tub, and even that doesn’t have ridiculous camera angles or anything. Mostly anything fanservice-y is goofy and tongue in cheek, rather than humiliating or non-consensual. The show actually has the honor of containing the only anime boob joke that’s actually made me laugh in recent memory (the over-the-top narration was on point). (There is one questionable element to warn for, namely an adult{?) woman briefly disguises herself as a high schooler and acts pretty flirtatiously with minors- thankfully it doesn’t go too far, but its something to watch out for.)

Planet With’s sense of humor and fun is just great in general. It deals with some serious and emotional topics, but never loses that whimsical, weird edge. It was clear from the beginning, when the super-threatening alien spaceship was some weird happy bear thing marked “peas”, that the show had a wonderfully bizarre and goofy atmosphere and it never loses that. Soya being endlessly foiled in his quest to eat some meat, the bizarre anthropomorphic animals, our heroes aggressively meowing as a battle cry- the show is so unapologetic in its weirdness and not afraid to embrace all the wonderful, colorful silliness inherent in its genre. 

Basically, if you like giant-robot shows or action shows or even weird cat and dog monsters, I really recommend this show. Its a fast-paced wild ride full of fun characters and colorful storytelling. It’s occasionally cheesy, often bizarre, a little dizzying and sometimes genuinely emotional- but it’s always an experience and I had a good time watching it.

[crownofhearts]

SW OC List

Heya! Since some of you guys wanted to know more about my SW characters, I decided to start off with a list of my characters and some facts and info about each one! So let’s get started!

Telusa Po’Delkiv

-As my first SW oc, Telusa holds a special place in my heart. She was a part of an original race of mine called the Temarnii, but I switched her over to being a regular Lurmen.

-Telusa is as much of a trickster as one would think a monkey based character would be. Her antics are what landed her with Plo Koon as a master. It was hoped that through the Council Member, she would mature and develop as a Jedi.

-Her diet is almost completely fruit based, which can make prolonged trips to the Outer Rim difficult. The lack of a constant supply of fruit can really mess up her stomach, and sometimes it can put her out of commission. 

-She incorporates her small size into her fighting, giving her a distinct advantage over larger opponents. Paired with her two lightsabers, she is a bouncing bundle of destruction on the battlefield.

-Both her lightsabers are green, symbolizing Telusa as a Jedi Consular, so despite her combat abilities and sarcastic nature, she prefers negotiation to outright battle. Her force abilities are also really strong, and has developed into an affinity for Force Visions

Vahan

-Vahan is a pale orange Nautolan, whom has been hired by the Republic as a Navigator. Basically, his job is to guide troops through smuggling routes to avoid Separatist detection. 

-He has a tendency to get close to those he works with, and is a favorite of the clones. Most tend to get along with him quite easily.

-He is rather easygoing, but his smile hides his skill. He may be calm and kind, but his long-range sniper abilities are nothing to scoff at. He has trained since a young age to survive in many environments, so he is an ideal person to have on hand in a survival scenario.

Veld Kran

 -Veld is a Togruta Jedi Knight with a serious demeanor. He is the master of Umanii Chalna, and to outsiders he seems to be a strict and cold man.

-He holds people to high standards, but he does have a soft spot for Umanii. Still, he works her hard and pushes her to be the best Jedi she can be.

-He isn’t good with expressing his feelings, so he gets a bit flustered when forced into casual conversation. He is basically a man who excels at his job but has a shitty personal life.

-His lightsaber is Blue, signaling his rank as a Jedi Guardian. Not the best negotiator due to his stiff nature, and is thus much better at speaking through action

Umanii Chalna

-The Pantoran Padawan of Veld Kran. She is shy and soft spoken, so her master is not quite sure how to manage her. She is a favorite among the clones for her good listening skills.

-She has a high tolerance to the cold, and her troops have heart attacks when she doesn’t wear much winter gear on cold planets.

-May or may not hoard pretty stones. She may or may not have a huge collection of gems and stones from the various planets she has visited. A total geography nerd.

-Her lightsaber is blue like her master, also signaling her as a Jedi Guardian.

Kassia Solbest

-A new Jedi Knight and an accomplished Force Healer. Her clone regiment specializes in medical rescue and assistance missions, so she and her men can usually be found in the vicinity of Republic Medical Stations.

-She has several tattoos and scars, and she wears them like a queen. 

-Kassia goes by “Kas”, and even forces her men to call her that. She tends to pout when they refer to her as General. Kas is the mama bear of the 510th Legion, and can and will fight if you threaten her men. 

-Her lightsaber is grey, a rare color of crystal associated with clarity and a focus on the Living Force.

Raz Munja

-A Togruta Padawan of the Jedi order. At the start of the Clone Wars, her master (Saljaku Voldern, currently in development) was killed by General Grievous. She is currently under the temporary tutelage of Shaak Ti, and assist in the training of Cadets on Kamino.

-The big sister of the Cadets, she works them hard and wants them to live to see the end of the war so they can be free to make their own choices.

-Extremely skilled in hand-to-hand combat, and she often uses this to her advantage to throw her Cadets off guard during training.

-Her lightsaber is purple, befitting of her aggressive style that borders on accepting the use of “Dark Sided” techniques. 

Mosu Varoj

-Zabrak Padawan of Eeth Koth. Her name sounds similar to “mouse” in some dialects, and as such her master and others call her “little mouse”. She acts like it bothers her but really, she digs it.

-A Chaotic Dumbass. Her streets smarts are amazing and she handles dealing with the nitty-gritty underbelly of society well. However, her common sense is abysmal. Is the kind of person to lock herself into a closet, or go to a meeting without her documents. But place her as a plant for a drug deal, and she blends right in.

-Has a strange fascination with ancient literature, which seems to conflict with her usual demeanor. Many people are surprised that she studies ancient languages, but that is because she was in trouble so much at the temple as a youngling, she was often stuck helping in the archives. She picked up a basic understanding of ancient language interpretation from there. It throws people for a loop when she can communicate with a strange tribe using a dead language.

-Her lightsaber is yellow, signaling her as a Jedi Sentinel. She street abilities and language comprehension skills aide her in espionage missions.

_________________

Okay, that is a wrap for now! If you have questions about a specific character, send them on in! I will be happy to answer them when I can!

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Let’s talk about Nagito’s family, because in this house, we like to suffer, I guess. I’ve toyed with a few different ideas and themes, some of which I eventually encountered too many errors in to keep, and some which I ultimately decided work. Everything below will henceforth serve as the official basis for how I portray family ties and Ko’s past on this blog, and I’ll try to be as matter-of-fact about it as I can, but...you know me. It’s worth mentioning that I’m not judging anyone’s real-life situation, nor am I judging anyone else’s interpretation of how Ko’s life went down. Interpretation first, reasoning another time if you really want to stick around for that hot mess. I tried to be as self-explanatory as I could, and linked back to my own posts in places that needed it, but if there’s anything that I feel is worth delving into later, I will. I kinda wanted to make something that ties into and explains who he is now, and ties as seamlessly as I can manage into what he’s told us; but also sounds exactly like the kind of thing that’d happen to this poor bastard, if you know what I mean. 

Hc: Nagito’s parents were very well-off, hard-working and successful. However, they were also very distant - from their son and their own respective families - and cold. They had Nagito not because they especially wanted children per se, but rather to have someone to pass on their name and legacy. Being the type of people to care a lot about status, they wanted their child to grow up to be every bit as intelligent, well-respected and successful as them. Intelligent, he certainly was, and without ever really trying; but Nagito never had much interest in what his parents did. Like most little boys, he wanted to do something cool and exciting. A big part of his childhood was spent wanting to be a pilot, but that’s hardly an elite job, now, is it?

 Rather than see if he grows out of it, or better yet accept their son for who he is, Nagito’s parents actively discouraged him from anything they didn’t approve of by shunning him until and unless he acted the way they wanted him to; perfect, polite, smart, and most of all, unemotional. They would dismiss his feelings and ignore his various attention-grabbing escapades; and this on top of their busy work schedules lead Nagito to believe he was just an inherently bad child. That, and how his parents would look down on non-elites; instilling the worthy and worthless mindset in their son, as well as his belief that you shouldn’t try if you know you’ll fail. 

 Nagito felt helpless to drop his interests for them. No matter how much he studied and tried to change his mind, he couldn’t change his heart. He continued to like dogs, and planes, and childish things. He felt doomed to disappoint, leading him to believe that worth is instilled at birth, and if you are worthless, there’s nothing you can do. He coupled himself with lowly trash, and thus began his worship of those made for greatness, and those who achieve greatness despite their hangups. Over time, this developed into the warped obsession with talent we all know of. 

 Nagito’s parents eventually caved to their son’s constant harping for a pet, seeing it as a chance to perhaps make him mature a bit, and certainly to get him off their tails all the time. Being a kid who didn’t make friends easily and was left to his own devices a lot - only adding to his perceived inadequacies - he treasured his new companion like the most precious thing in the world. And, well, we all know how that played out. 

 He named the dog Lucky - because irony’s a bitch - and he was the first thing to show such undying love and loyalty to Nagito. What he couldn’t get from his parents; comfort, support, attention; he got from his dog. This, of course, made the pup’s death, which Nagito always blamed himself for, all the more devastating, never mind the careless driver or lack of adult supervision. Since this was his first incident of major bad luck, a force which would go on to destroy everything he touches, he blames himself wholeheartedly for everything that followed. 

 After losing his best friend and emotional crutch, Nagito became severely depressed. He wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t even pick up a book. This lead to him becoming quite ill, and actually being hospitalised. After that health scare, his parents finally took notice of how terribly their son was suffering, and made an effort for the first time in his life. They didn’t become good parents overnight, but they tried. The odd pat on the shoulder here, a “how was your day?” there, even a family outing to an amusement park, which Nagito considers one of the best days of his childhood. 

 But the more time they spent with Nagito, the more things seemed to go wrong. Little things, like coffee spills ruining their expensive clothing, to big things like giant deals falling through. And these things only happened when he was around. Subconsciously or consciously, he still doesn’t know, they distanced themselves from him once more. This double-rejection was devastating, annihilating whatever self-worth the young elementary schooler still had. 

 The only reason they took him to San Cristóbal was due to a business retreat that encouraged families to come along. Appearances still meant more than anything. The trip itself was uneventful, but it was on the flight home that this plane-loving wannabe-pilot lost his mother and father, and gained a lifelong fear of flying, and a cemented suspicion that had been growing for some time now that all the bad things that kept happening were all his fault. All because of a meteor the size of a fist (that possibly caused the plane to crash; and personally I think he may have been a sole survivor).  

 After the deaths of his parents, Nagito was shunted from relative to relative, though understand that term is used in a strictly biological sense. Most of these people he’d met maybe once or twice, if at all. The freedom to which he so often refers to as a result of his parents dying is both freedom from being constantly afraid for his mother and father, but also freedom to do almost whatever he wanted. He was, essentially, a stranger to these people, who all already had their own lives and jobs and children. Nagito long suspected that the only reason anyone took him at all was because no one wants to be the asshole that won’t take in their orphaned kid cousin or nephew or whatever.

 (NB: My basis for that he had a lot of family but not many close friends, please recall; we see how his luck targets people close to him, yet he goes out of his way to mention that his luck only targeted him directly and gave him a terminal illness when he had no relatives left. His luck began in elementary school or possibly earlier when his dog died, and he was diagnosed right before entering Hope’s Peak. Personally, I think the idea of him having a lot of relatives he’s not close to makes sense, and it’d just be his luck that they’re all dickheads.)

 But of course, every time, something would happen. Some major disaster, and only ever when Nagito was around. And he would always benefit it in some way. He never goes into detail, but sometimes it involved a financial loss, sometimes a physical one, once or twice or maybe many more, even death. He quickly gained a reputation, and relatives became more and more reluctant to accept him. Furthermore, not a single aunt or uncle among them were especially loving. No one ever stopped to maybe ask this kid if he was okay, help him through his grief, ease his guilt or burden. He was no less an accessory than he’d ever been. Sometimes the family members were fine. They’d mostly ignore him, sometimes hold a conversation, until The Thing inevitably happened. Sometimes they were downright horrible. After a particularly violent episode with a drunk Uncle, Nagito ran, and that’s when he was found and kidnapped. 

 After that, he was deemed a troubled child, and placed in a home. The other children isolated him; this strange kid that strange things happened around, with a penchant for mumbling to himself. He never really minded. They were just like the rest of the people he’d known -- filler, and nothing more. Eventually he, fell ill. This was when he received his terminal diagnosis, and shortly after, acceptance letter into Hope’s Peak.

[astrologista]

(@chiscribbles4smiles and @starxapple with this post compelled me to want to dig this mess up from my drafts........ i wasn’t gonna post it because as a Psychological Analysis I think some of this is definitely REACHING......... or iunno....... i wrote it a long time ago when i was In A Mood but i can prove that Varian needs a mom using psychological evidence so deal w/ it y’all)

(This is a very speculative analysis but if you like those, read on.)

So if you notice how Varian reacts when he sees his father frozen in the amber, his initial reaction is disbelief. He's saying "no, no, no" over and over, hoping it's just a nightmare, that if he voices his denial enough, he'll wake up and this won't be real. He's refusing to believe it's real, begging for it to be undone, that if he just doesn't acknowledge it in these first moments of shock, maybe it'll all just go away. But seconds tick by and his dad doesn't answer him, only silence does. It slowly starts to sink in for Varian that this is real and no one is coming to help him or clean up the mess, not this time. On the subtitles Varian actually says "Dad!" and then when that doesn't work, "Daddy..." His voice changes a bit, too, becoming higher and more childlike, and choked up with tears. Which, if that don't break your heart, I don't know what does. In moments of extreme stress and trauma, it's not uncommon for children or teens to regress a little so that they can feel a little safer by returning to an earlier frame of mind. Varian desperately doesn't want the weight and responsibility of this situation to be on his shoulders. His dad has usually tried to bear the brunt of the blame for his mistakes. But even though his dad's not able to do that right now (ironically tragic), Varian still goes into this mode of regressing and responding with uncontrolled tears instead of immediate anger at the Princess. He's tired, he's given everything he can give. He really does sound like the terrified child that he is at that moment. He doesn't know what to do and would very much like for someone to show up and hug him, tell him everything will be ok and help him fix the problem.

But let’s like, consider this. It can be said that children move on from their mother's guidance to their father's once they reach a certain age. Mothers are the first teachers, who provide the basis for sustaining and prolonging life. They teach you how to eat, provide the nutrients, and take care of your physical hurts and just calm some of your fears as well, and SO much more, giving you the basic primer on how to live your life. It's not that hard to make your Mom proud as long as you're good to her and learn how to use a spoon at the appropriate age. She loves you for nothing, as you are. But once you move on, it can be a long road from mother-love to father-acceptance. Not because fathers are inherently bad or highly demanding, they just tend to value different things in addition to those survival skills that your mom taught you. For true father-acceptance, you must do things worthy of recognition. Talk. Walk. Act like a human. Show moral character. Work in the field, perform feats of strength. That is how you show your worth as a good son. So many things a mother wouldn't require, but a father might really care about. 

Varian makes inventions because that's what he does, hoping his father will at last be impressed with him. Finally, he can gain that father-acceptance he so craves. He needs to see that "pride" in Quirin's eyes to feel that he's worthy of being loved. That get-for-free, endless outpouring of mother-love is no longer in Varian's life for whatever reason. And Varian is just a very sensitive little dude. He thrives on love. And nowhere better is that shown than in the picture hanging in Quirin's room, when both his parents were there with their attention entirely on him. Their love, entirely available. There was nothing he had to do to earn it. It simply was. And to Varian, that is his gold standard. Look at his cute smol face - bliss.

With the loss of mother-love, it's no surprise that Varian went just a little bonkers with the loss of his father. Research shows that when people go without physical / emotional affection for long enough, antisocial personality traits actually can manifest, whether temporarily or perhaps permanently. The onset of which can induce panic, irrational behavior and even temporary psychosis...

If you REALLY want to get theoretical, Raps and Cass provided a tiny bit of that mother-love and in Eugene's case, a little father-acceptance, enough to keep Varian wanting to hang around them. Like a drug, he soaked up the fact that they gave him even the time of day. That's how desperate he is for attention, because attention leads to love and acceptance, and those things make Varian feel safer and more secure in the absence of his mother. (And it’s so depressing to me that he feels he has to do so much just to earn a little scrap of love.) The loss of a mother in general is just very damaging, especially to someone who's sensitive to other peoples' rejection such as Varian. When developing, children sometimes are rejected by their peers or others, making the outside/external world seem unsafe. But they can use their mother as an anchor point to make that outside exploration less scary. That way, even if others reject or mock them (which in Varian's case is a lot, everyone in the village seems to exclude or just dislike him what with his inventions trying to kill them on a regular basis), at least they have someone who genuinely loves them to come home to. An anchor point, a person whose consistency and stability makes the world safe and encourages confidence. Varian needs that and only that, but it was taken from him, for whatever reason. (If we ever find out that there’s a character responsible for that loss... *takes out a bat* i just wanna talk.) Desperate for love, he'll attach to anyone who will listen or shows the slightest bit of interest or kindness to him. Raps, Cass and Eugene have all given him little mini-speeches on how compassionate and smart and unique he is, but it's barely enough. It's like getting a few bread crusts when you're starving for a three-course meal - it'll give you something to keep from going off the edge, but it's never going to fill that void. And he has to practically beg Cass to give her little speech, prompting her with "I was just trying to make you see something in me... something special... I was just being dumb." Most likely a subconscious fish-for-compliments move, but it gets the job done and he gets what he needs - a little validation.

Like others, I just find it kind of gross how far Varian has to go for love. If the people would just take a chance to get to know Varian, they would see that fundamentally, he is (well... was...) basically a harmless kid. Reckless, overconfident, excitable, yes, but he never wanted to hurt anyone. If anything, he only wanted to help them. 

No child should ever live in a society where they have to feel like everyone in their town rejects and/or hates them, and that their only parent is distant. The point is, there's not enough love left in Corona for someone like Varian, who craves and needs response and confirmation that his Dad is proud of him. That validation literally means the difference between his physical and mental health and not - it is enough to make or break him. It's basically the one and only thing he cares about, returning to that time when his family was whole. With adequate mother-love and father-acceptance, Varian could be his best self. He could be very well-adjusted and would probably not have as much maladaptive thinking as he does. He'd be less defensive, more genuinely confident and act more maturely, probably. He’d still be his excitable, lovable self, but with so much less toxic thoughts running through his mind. And he'd be more open to suggestions about how to improve his alchemy. In What the Hair he just came off as insecure and unwilling to change his experiment. But with genuine confidence instilled by his parents' support, he'd probably forgo his pride in the interest of making safer and smaller inventions. He wouldn't feel like he has to prove anything, because he'd know he has as much love as he needs waiting at home. With Varian, everything in his mind and body is out of balance (which is ironic for an alchemist), so it's not surprising that he is such a mess or causes so many disasters...

People might disagree with me on this one but I honestly think Arianna is / might be the key to Varian's redemption. He claims to still be seeking the father-acceptance, but to come back from where he is, he first needs to take a step back and get the purest and most unconditional mother-love - HUGS FOR DAYS YA FEEL ME? - to know that he is still worthy of being loved. He did kidnap Arianna because she was the weak link, but in a way, it may not be that much of an accident, and more of a reaching-out for that mother-love from Rapunzel's mother, on a subconscious level (or not. “i want a mommy so i’m stealing one. no one will stop me...”)

No wonder seeing Rapunzel and both of her parents embrace set him off. That pretty much symbolized everything Varian was trying to get to... but couldn't.  

tl;dr someone get me adoption papers NOW so I can adopt this child