#but you know me i have to..explain myself to people who didnt ask

[ghostcrows]

I want to end my unhealthy relationship with social media...that's kind of what the point of my "hiatus" was. cause over and over again being terminally online has caused me nothing but problems. Im trying to turn to other methods instead of talking stream of consciously online 24/7

But it's not easy when you've been doing it since you were like 12 years old. I've even thought about deleting this blog but I'm hesitant because it's such a sentimental thing to me, it's an archive of a huge chunk of my life

And without this I start to feel lonely. I have people I can talk to but they have lives, I can't bother them all day with every little thought I have. I know I can just write in notes app or a real journal. But a lot of it is wanting something like a human connection, even for 5 seconds before I delete the post

And I take advantage of being able to delete posts as if that deletes it from everybody's memories -_- it doesn't.

But you know I'm not even really having fun here anymore, it feels hollow now. I'm just still here out of habit. I think my plan now is to taper off until I'm mainly only posting art and maybe music and aesthetic pictures and whatever every once in a while. Sooo yeah.

[cherrygarden]

i think i was the love interest of a romantic comedy for a second / just got myself a stalker

[devotedlystrangewizard]

getting deadnamed for the first time in 2 years is so weird

[hellspawnmotel]

the way you've used color for years has inspired me beyond what I can explain. I remember trying to pallet like you when I was 14 or something...I'm 22 now and I still look at your art across multiple different years to study how you've used color and try to understand like you do

oh man. well, I'm pretty terrible at responding to big compliments like this other than.... thank you!! I'm very flattered and it means a lot that you think so. make no mistake though I think I still have a LOT to learn about color and I'm always trying to improve myself and be smarter about it all.... a ton of trial and error goes on behind the scenes, I owe my life to the tonal correction and select color gamut functions lol. a huge part of it is being willing to experiment with colors that you dont even think will work together, or that arent even close to the color you were originally going to pick, but you have to try just in case.

personally I've found that I end up happiest with the colors in pieces where I stuck to fairly limited palettes, not necessarily very strict ones but the same general areas of color, yknow? like this

I also basically taught myself to color good as a teenager by drawing small and simple pieces with pre-made palettes, such as...

I would've been?? 16??? when I did these I think. not that I even said I was using pre-made palettes or credited the people who made them lmao. how times change

and I've also learned a lot from studying how color is used in older anime, especially ones from the 90s. evangelion in particular was a HUGE influence on my coloring and what colors I use the most (red and orange, lol).

I know you didnt exactly ask for advice but I wanted to give it anyway! I want everyone to use exciting colors and have fun doing it. just like, watch and look at a lot of stuff. not just my stuff. watch metropolis (2001) that movie has INSANE color blocking. watch the tatami galaxy as well. play mother 3. work until you get better at it than I am, that's what I want. and thank you again!

[river13245]

They React To You Being Asexual

Dean, Sam, Castiel, Crowley, Rowena, Lucifer

(this is going to be a thing that I do regularly so request)

Dean Winchester

The both of you have been dating for almost a month now. You weren't oblivious to the fact that Dean was a very touchy guy. He would go to bars and pick up women all the time before you came around. Maybe that's why you had a pit in your stomach. You go to dean who was in the main room of the bunker and ask dean if you could talk to him in private.

He gets up and walks into your guys's room. "what's going on. Something happen?" he asks and you shake your head. "no not yet. Uh I just thought I should tell you something" He sits down on the bed and looks at you. :alright what's going on?" you take a deep breath in and speak all in one breath "Im asexual. I know that you like sex which is not a fault but I just know i'm not going to be able to give that to you"

He asks you to explain it to him and when you do he nods and its quiet for a moment before he speaks. "babe this isn't going to change anything between us. You don't want sex. that's fine i can take care of myself if i need to. Don't feel bad" when you sit beside him hs places his hand on your thigh and you rest your head on his shoulder.

Sam winchester

Your boyfriend was sitting on the bed reading when you entered the room. He looked so nice in the sweatshirt and sweatpants he was wearing. You were taking a moment to think about how you wanted to tell him that you were asexual.

Sam had never once made you feel as if you had to do anything you didn't want to do. If anything he was always cautious for first moves. your first kiss he leaned in slowly, making you close the gap. He also never really asked or initiated for the both of you to go any further beyond just kissing and cuddling. You had a feeling he knew which made you less nervous. "whets going on in that head of yours" he asks as he looks over at you.

You sit onto the bed beside him. "there's something I need to tell you" he puts his book down to give you his full attention before nodding. You take a breath before saying calmly "i'm asexual. I don't ever want to have sex with you. I should have told you sooner and i'm so sorry I didnt i was just waiting for the right time an-" You stop speaking because sam has placed both of his hands on the sides of your face and kisses your lips. "its okay honey, I have had a feeling that you might be and I still love you either way. Plus i have a lower sex drive than most people so you dont have to worry with me okay?" You nod and you cuddle up against him as he reads a little while longer.

Castiel

You were sitting on your bed just thinking about how you were to tell your boyfriend that you were asexual. Your boyfriend had never really said anything about wanting sex or anything like that but it still made you nervous. You knew Castiel wouldn't break up with you because of it. So once you calmed yourself down a bit you prayed for him. "castiel I need to speak with you"

Wasnt even 2 minutes later and hes standing in front of you. "Theres something on your mind?" he asks and you nod. "yes there is. I just needed to tell you that if we are going to continue our relationship..there will be no sexual acts. Kissing and everything is fine but just not sex."

He looks at you for a moment before he takes your hand in his "That is perfectly fine. Angels dont need to have sex." you lean in and kiss his cheek and hug him

Crowley

Crowley had been in one of his moods today. Your boyfriend was a very moody person. One thing could piss him off so because of this you were not looking forward to telling him about the fact that you are asexual. In fact you were thinking about not telling him. Not for a while anyways.

However when he walked into the room he could see the way you didnt come up to him to welcome him back like you always did. So he crossed his arms and looked at you. "what" you asked as you looked up at him. "What is going on? You arent acting normal" this caused you to roll your eyes at him. "when have I ever been normal" he shrugs but doesn't say anything else which makes you sigh.

You laid down onto the big bed you two shared. "Crowley I am asexual. That's why I haven't made a move to do anything more than kissing" He uncrossed his arms and lays down beside you. "really that's what's got you so weird?" nodding in response he rolls his eyes. "I'm a demon and have lived much longer than you have. You being asexual is the least of my problems. I want to be with you either way"

Rowena

Rowena was doing some of her witchy stuff looking beautiful while she focused. You knew you shouldn't interrupt her but this was eating you alive. Your friends had been talking about their partners and how they were great in bed and everything else. You loved your friends of course but its started to eat away at you. That you couldnt and wouldnt give that to Rowena.

She was a woman and many women want that part of the relationship. That kind if intimacy and you were feeling awful about it. Rowena deserved an explanation so before you could talk yourself out of it you walked up to the table and took a seat. "Rowena Love" She looked up at you and when she noticed how you looked she stopped what she was doing. "what's wrong dear"

You let out a long sigh before explaining to her about what you and your friends were talking about and then you pause for a moment before speaking again. "I know that you probably want that and I cant give it to you. How could you possibly be happy like this" She places both her hands on the sides of your cheeks and kisses your forehead then your lips. "I am happy with you. There has not been a moment where I doubted us or my feelings for you. You are the one that I want to be with for the rest of our time here" She pulls you into a soft hug

Lucifer

You had just walked back into your home and Your partner was sitting on his chair that he had claimed as like his "throne". He had been talking to a few other demons that worked for him and so you tried to walk quickly past them but he made you stop. "where do you think your going?" he wasn't angry he was just confused because you usually greet him when you come back home. You look at him "i'm going to our bedroom"

He could tell by the tone of your voice and your body language that something was wrong. So he quickly made the demons leave before turning to look back at you. "come here" you walked closer to him and he looked at you sitting up more on his chair. "what happened while you were out?" He was very protective over you and it was written all over his face. You knew he was going to find out anyways so you begin to tell him.

You tell him about how your friends were asking about how you and your boyfriend was. Asking how the sex is going etc etc. Lucifer nodded and was actually letting you finish speaking. "when I told them that. We don't have sex because i'm asexual they started judging me and everything." He almost speaks up but you cut him off "why do you stay with me. Lucifer I know that you have had many demons and even other angels in your bed before. Why stay with the one who cant give you what you need"

Lucifer looks at you as if you just said something in a language he didn't understand. He uses his power to bring you closer to him and then he stops and holds his arms out for you. Silently telling you to sit with him and so you do. You sit on his lap and rest your head on his shoulder. "I may have had others share a bed with me. But none of them have had such a emotional hold on me before. You are the one that i fell in love with. Don't ever doubt me or my feelings towards you." he says the last part with such a serious tone and all you can do is nod and let him hold you.

[reyadawn]

My Protector - Part 2

*image not mine, credit goes to Bryan 😆

Summary: Noah Sebastian is the President of Bad Omens MC in Los Angeles, California and a woman running from her past crosses his path. Noah instantly wants to save her. Make her his. However, her past needs to be dealt with first...

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: 🔞+, language, slight violence, kissing, choking, slight Mean!Noah if you squint, unprotected sex (WRAP IT), creampie

Word Count: 🤷‍♀️😆

Enjoy! ❤️✌️

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

I had never really given much thought to living on the West Coast but the Universe had other plans. It's funny how your life can change...how people can change. That's why when my friend Kay called me and offered me a job at Third Base, I took it as a sign I was meant to leave this old life behind. Just like she did. Although, I was a little surprised to find out it was a bar.

"Believe it or not, it's a fanastic place. Always busy, plenty of tips, good food, hot biker guys...including my old man, Jolly", Kay had explained.

"Kay...", I started.

"You need to get out. You have to. It's not mentally safe or healthy for you there with Larry. The emotional abuse he's putting you through is destroying you. Bad Omens will protect you. Misty and I will, too. They have a club house you can stay at until you get an apartment or you can crash with me", Kay replied.

I smoothed out the front of my Bad Omens tank top that I wore over my black leggings. I hated the way they fit, like I was trying to pour myself into the material. Too much skin in places I didnt want but never really could get rid of. I looked pregnant from the side, despite the fact I wasnt. I grabbed a black and white checkered flannel from my closet and threw it on, rolling the sleeves up my forearms. I threw my hair up in a bun and threw on my socks and black ankle boots.

Walking out of the bathroom, I suddenly stopped in the bedroom and looked around. It was masculine in the sense the bedding was all black and blue, nightstand and dresser were dark stained wood, even the sheer curtains were navy. The walls remained a neutral taupe. I hated being at the Bad Omens clubhouse and not having my own place. I still didnt know who's room I got set up with but I made sure to keep it clean and neat, making it a point to only touch my things.

As I was grabbing my purse from the black Lazy-Boy in the corner, the door to the bedroom opened and the man who stepped inside had me quite literally salivating and I almost lost the grip on my purse. This man was an Adonis if I ever saw one. Tall, at least 6'3, short dark hair falling into dark brown eyes, a small but perfectly shaped nose and full lips that had me wanting to get down on all fours and crawl to him.

This man wore dark camo pants and a solid black t-shirt, arms and neck displaying the most beautiful tattoos; even his large hands and long fingers were tattood. He reached up, running a hand through his hair and the muscles in his arms buldged. I must have been staring because he smirked and took a step closer to me. I all but had to crane my head back to look up at him. Short people problems, gotta' love it.

"How are your accomodations, pretty girl?", he asked, his deep voice caressing over my senses like a lovers hand. I swallowed. It was all I could muster, I was rendered so speechless. He must get this a lot though, poor guy. He chuckled, reaching out to tuck a small lock of hair behind my ear. "I'm Noah. Club President and this is my room".

That snapped me out of my trance completely, taking a small step back from him which garnered me a dark scowl of distaste. Evidently, he didn't like that.

"I'm so sorry, Sir. I'll have Misty get me a different room. I don't want to intrude", I rambled, turning back to the chair to grab my keys. A tattooed hand suddenly shot out to lock around my wrist and stilling my movements.

"First of all, pretty girl, lose the 'Sir'. I'm not that old. Noah is fine. Second of all, you're not changing rooms. You're staying here where you can be looked after", Noah replied. I yanked my wrist from his grip, glaring defiantly at him.

"Let's get something straight, President..."

Noah's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I'm not a child, therefore, I don't need a babysitter. I can hold my own. Don't make the mistake of thinking you own me, I belong to no one. I'm nothing to no one. Mean nothing. Never have, never will so save your protection detail for a real damsel in destress", I stated, hands on my hips. Noah stepped closer once again, fingertips gently tracing my jaw and down my neck. I shivered, goosebumps dancing along my skin and my panties growing damp. He lifted my chin, raising my gaze to his.

"Who hurt you, pretty girl?", he whispered. I lowered my eyes to his chin, unable to answer. "Tell me. Now". I shook my head.

Noah sighed before eveloping me in his arms, his solid body providing whatever comfort he could. I wasn't aware I needed the contact as I reluctantly wrapped my arms around his midrift. He was solid...and warm. I closed my eyes at the feeling of his strong body in my arms.

"I've got you", Noah added, voice vibrating in his chest against my cheek. "I won't let anyone hurt you". Regaining my senses, I pulled away and sniffled, turning to straighten my clothes and threw my purse over my shoulder.

"You don't know what he's like", I replied, wiping a stray tear from my cheek.

"Did he touch you?", Noah asked darkly. I blinked at his change in demeanor before shaking my head. "Verbal?", he added. I nodded curtly. Noah's lips drew into a thin line before he reached into his pants pocket, pulling a cell phone from it and handing it to me. I knew what he wanted as I typed my number in and saved it to his contacts before handing it back. Noah's fingers momentarily flew over the keys and my own phone dinged. "I expect to be on speed dial".

"I need to get to work or Misty will have my ass", I said, moving towards the door.

"Me first", Noah said, causing me to whirl at him in shock. He grinned fully, perfect white teeth flashing before motioning to lead the way. I walked through the main living area of the clubhouse, waving at Jolly, Nicholas and Davis before stepping through the double doors and into the warm L.A sun. I stopped to breathe in the fresh air before letting out a moan of renoun pleasure at the open space.

"You do that again around me and I'll fuck you over this goddamn bike", Noah said from behind me. I spun around, Noah's hand grabbing my forearm firmly but gently. I stared up at him in shock as he looked down at me from behind Neo-like sunglasses. "Keys. Now". I silently handed him my keys before turning and heading to my car. This was going to be a long ten minutes...

******************************************

Walking into Third Base, Noah hot on my heels, I was met with the smell of bar food, cigar smoke and bouts of laughter from crowded tables. Kay walked by, auburn hair thrown in a messy ponytail, and shot me a wink as she carefully balanced a large tray of drinks to a table in the back corner of the bar. There were a series of pool tables, a jukebox and overhead cieling fans that barely did anything to mask the heat.

Misty appeared around the corner, clipboard in hand and approached us.

"Thanks for bringing her by, Prez. I'll see she's looked after", she said, grabbing my hand to pull me after her but before I could take a step, Noah turned me to face him, lips descending upon my own in a short but heated kiss that left my lips tingling and my clit throbbing as he pulled away. Giving my ass a playful slap, Noah sauntered off to a nearby pool table where he met up with a few other chapter members. Misty and I suddenly looked at each other, facial expressions of mirrored shock clearly readable.

"The hell just happened, Misty?", I whispered harshly, a few other patrons watching me, all smirking.

"From the looks of it, I'd say the President of Bad Omens just claimed you as his old lady...publicly, I might add", she replied and turned towards the bar. I followed her without a word, bitting my bottom lip to hide my smile.

Most of the night was uneventful as Kay and I ran kitchen orders and served at the bar. I was in the process of cleaning off one of the tables when a voice behind me had my grip slipping on the beer glass and it clattered to the floor sending shards of glass scattering.

"Hello, angel". I spun around so hard I damn near fell over a chair as I stared at Larry in shock and fear. "Thought I might find you here. Seems like your kinda rundown place but playtime is over. It's time to go. Now".

He hadn't changed much in the months since I last saw him. His icy gaze pinned me where I stood yet I still managed to shake my head.

"Over my dead body", I said, gritting my teeth. Larry tipped his head back and laughed, his dark spiky hair glistening from the overhead lamps. The guy really did use too much hair gel.

"That can be arranged. Now, get your shit and let's go", he said, his hand latching around my arm to haul me to his chest. I tried fighting out of his hold, tried kicking him but all he did was laugh. "Damn, you're a fucking hellcat. Stop fighting me so we can--", but his words suddenly died. Following his line of sight I gasped at seeing Noah, Jolly, Nicholas, Nick and Davis standing in front of the entrance to the bar. Surprisingly, it was Jolly who stepped forward.

"You know...you fuck with a chapter members' old lady and you fuck with the chapter member himself. Especially when that old lady belongs to the clubs' President", he said, running his tongue over his teeth. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kay and Misty behind the bar, arms looped together, fear marring thier features.

"Club President? Of what? The Mickey Mouse Club? Get the fuck outta my way", Larry said moving to step forward but Jolly held up a hand. Larry stopped, irritation etching his fingers.

"Last chance, bro. Don't do this. Just walk away", Jolly warned.

"I don't have time for this shit. Move or I'll move you myself", Larry said, glaring at Jolly. Jolly simply shrugged and smiled as Noah steppd forward, hands behind his back. Larry looked up at him and the color drained from his face. Noah smiled.

"President", Larry said. Noah nodded once before his right fist shot out, connecting with the side of Larry's head. Noah caught me as Larry's body hit the floor and he gave me a quick peck before turning back to him.

"President of Bad Omens, to clarify, and if you ever come near my old lady again or even breathe in her direction then a right hook wont be the only thing you'll get served", Noah said, looming over Larry as he rubbed his jaw. Before I could say or do anything, Noah was pulling me after him around the bar and down a hallway. I barely had time to register the doors we passed as Noah led me into the 'OFFICE' and slammed the door.

"Noah, what--", I started but he cut me off with his lips. His hands pulled at my clothes to get them off and a wave of fear suddenly came to the surface at him seeing me naked but as he backed me up to the desk, lips kissing and biting thier way down my neck, I realized Noah didn't really give a fuck. My flannel shirt was tossed over his shoulder somewhere on the floor, my tank top was yanked down to expose my breasts and one of my boots joined the pile of clothes just for him to get one of my legs out of my leggings and hoist it up over his hip.

Noah's lips were like fire on my skin as I felt him pull my panties to the side to swipe his fingers through my drenched folds and graze my clit. My hips jerked in response and he chuckled against my skin before sinking two long fingers inside me to the knuckle. I threw my head back, letting out a pornographic moan I didn't care to hide as my walls clamped down on his fingers.

Noah's other hand was tearing at the zipper of his pants, freeing his painfully hard cock. He suddenly pulled his fingers free from my dripping cunt to push them into my mouth and I could taste myself on his tongue. Before I could say or do anything, he pulled his fingers from my mouth to wrap around my throat and haul my chest to his, lips crashing together. It was messy, all teeth and tongues.

I could feel the head of Noah's cock prod my dripping core and I gripped his muscular shoulders for purchase. A simple thrust had me stretching to accomodate and it burned oh so good.

I whimpered into Noah's kiss, his fingers squeezing ever so slighty around my throat as he thrust again, giving me a few more inches. My brain shut down, unable to process anything but the feeling of my pussy stretching around the thick rod between my thighs, feeling every ridge and vein caress my walls.

There were no words...there didn't need to be. I raked my nails down his arms, red streaks appearing in thier wake but Noah took no notice. Another thrust. A nother inch. It was agonizingly slow and I writhed beneath him, trying to pushing him deeper with my heel but he was much more powerful. More kisses to my chest and shoulder. Another thrust. Bite marks came next. I'd walk away looking like a leper but I didn't want him to stop. Noah's grunts and groans mixed with my own whimpers and cries as one last thrust had him seated inside me to the hilt. I had never been so deliciously full.

I pulled away from him only to sink my teeth into his shoulder as I screamed, my orgasm hitting me like a 2 x 4. Noah wasted no time, shuttling his cock almost ruthlessly inside my overstimulated pussy. I was so sensitive I was getting ready to come again, my nails digging into his flesh. Thrust after thrust had my body turning into putty, my brain remaining in a black out state and I let lose a scream, teeth sinking deeper. No doubt there'd be a bruise there for weeks.

Noah's pace increased, his hands griiping my hips like a vice. My thighs burned, legs were shaking as he gave a thrust so deep it sent me spiraling into another orgasm. Noah threw his head back, releasing a series of expletives as his cock twitched, rope after thick rope of come unloading inside me.

Noah held himself inside me as we struggled to catch our breath. I looked up at him through my lashes then, the euphoric look on his face causing my pussy to clench around him.

"Old lady, huh?", I asked between breaths. Noah nodded. "Well, so much for holding my own". We shared as smile as our lips met in a gentle kiss.

******************************************

@amourtoken @artificialstardust @bloodylullaby @bluestdai @collidewiththesavannah @concreteangel92 @concreteemo @dsireland86 @dreamstyles @dontcallme-angel @english-fucker @exitwoundsx @flowery-mess @fadingintothegrey @iamamatus @iluvmewwwww75 @kaliforniahigh @lilhobgobbler @lovexsleepyhead @lolitasangel @philomenie @sacredthefran @starsomens @sorrowsofsilence @millie-aubs @xcllnt @xmads-omensx @yarasdead

[seaadc]

hello!!! if you’re up for this, can i request any genshin men with a reader who feels like a horrible person because of things they’ve done in the past? i have a guilt complex lmaoooooo (i say lmao but it’s agony) (PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WITH A GUILT COMPLEX PUT YOUR HANDS UPPPP)

also this is a complete side note but i think this concept would be especially interesting with wrio since he’s always in the fortress or meropide, seeing people who have done wrong everyday in the fairly normal system (by jail standards) they have down there

guilt | wriothesley x reader

OH GOD THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASKS FOR A WHILE NOW IM SO SORRY MY NOTIFS ARE ALWAYS FILLED UP AND I DONT SEE ASKS ANYMOREEE T-T

angst w fluff at the end, soft!wrio, he’s comforting youu, gets a bit suggestive at the end, no pronouns used but reader is referred to as ‘my love’ and ‘princess’

it’s nothing to be concerned about really, if you were a criminal and probably rotting in the fortress of meropide for— archons knows how long, you would’ve just let your conscience be the death of you.

but you aren’t! your not sitting around and laying in the fortress of doom meropide, thank the archons.

though you can’t help but think if the seven are laughing at you, quite literally. your state isn’t so stable as it seems..

wriothesley, your partner, had called sigewinne ages ago to check on your health status. although it was all negative, the tests, the results, the examinations, all negative.

there wasn’t anything wrong with you, so why is there an aching pain in your stomach whenever your brain just relapses back to the past, the time where you had done such unforgiving sins, you couldn’t even do a whole statement word for word on what you had done to those poor victims.

one of them, someone special to you. someone special that you had lost because of your own carelessness, someone you had lost because you were being selfish, someone who you wished to cherish for a lifetime— though fate is mocking you unfortunately.

and the pain, the inkling pain deep inside that you cant ignore, it’s annoying. it’s frustrating. it’s … sad.

it’s a pity to see someone like you, a nice person who only wished to improve themselves and hope for a better future. yet it seems celestia didn’t approve.

your longtime partner, wriothesley, had been worried for you. ever since you met, you were always dozing off, not focusing, you looked uncomfortable yet he couldn’t pinpoint what was actually wrong.

it was starting to piss him off, really. the way you doze off when he talks to you, when you two spend time together and your too busy in your own little world to pay attention to him.

wriothesley had decided to sit you down, like what any partner would do when they encounter a misunderstanding or a mishap. communication is key after all.

he couldn’t ever forget the look on your face, the day where you looked at him with such pitiful eyes and regretful ones while he just stared back at you with a stern look.

he feels pity, wriothesley feels pity. someone like him shouldn’t, so what is this he feels?

“tell me what’s been bugging you for months, [name].” wriothesley takes a deep breath, then exhales as you sat there, fidgeting with your fingers. “i didnt get the chance to ask you back then, since it was your privacy after all, hm?” he spoke firmly, his voice laced with curiosity and the tone where he just wants to know the truth.

just tell him, it wouldn’t be so hard. he’s your partner after all, you have every right to tell him so. “[name], i’m doing this to help you. you’re someone extremely precious to me and i can’t help myself just seeing you look so lost.” wriothesley explains, sighing deeply as he waits for your response.

how would he react? he’s the all mighty scary wriothesley after all. he’s known to have less mercy and sympathy on others. why tell? you’ll just embarrass yourself, you thought to yourself.

but you couldn’t. you couldn’t keep a secret, especially towards him. if he was any other people, a stranger, you would’ve kept it till the end of your life. but he’s not just a stranger.

he’s your partner, your loved one, your everything. wriothesley is someone you can trust, someone you care for. is it really worth keeping a secret from him?

you took a deep breath, letting the air get past your nostrils. “i have.. committed alot of unforgettable things in the past, someone like you wouldn’t like. someone like you wouldn’t appreciate.” you confessed, looking down and avoiding your beloved’s longing stare.

wriothesley looks at you, tilting his head in confusion. you? doing things that he couldn’t possibly imagine? “ever since i’ve started to open up a new path to walk on, the guilt in my chest still pains me. it’s almost eating me whole.” you continue.

he smiles at you, not a happy smile, a faint sad smile. he’s quite joyful about how you were guilty, and not like any other person who wouldnt even feel the slightest bit of empathy to what they’ve done wrong in the past.

this is the [name] he fell inlove with. the honest, confident, firm, one. there was no denying that wriothesley was hopelessly inlove with you. and he finds it lovingly amusing.

“if you regret it, then it’s okay. you don’t have to be in debt of a thing you regret on doing. if you truly feel guilt, then it just means your improving and want to be a better person my love.” he smiles, standing up and walking over to your seat, crouching before you as you were forced to look at him.

wriothesley holds your chin, going up to caress your cheeks coated with a red flush. “it may be your fault or not, but there will always be a way to fight back the sins of the past. you can get through it, i know you can.”

“your the strong and confident lady i love after all, hm?” he says with a grin, which makes your already flustered enough face go even more red.

you smile tenderly as he continues to caress your cheek, you leaned into his touch as you hear him chuckle lowly. wriothesley stands up straight, his hand now on your head as he ruffles your soft and silky hair.

wriothesley smirks, a teasing one. which means he’s probably going to say something just to tease you and to lighten up the mood a bit. “besides, i’m the only one who’s allowed to eat you whole, princess.”

made by @seaadc and @seaadc only !!

laughinf bc i made this at exactly 1am LMFAOO (i’m mentally unstable)

[ccircusclwn]

are.you.an.angel..

I've been looking for AleNoah as dads my entire life man!!! You're like.. sent from above!!

..

wait how did they get MK then..

did Noah and Emma have MK then divorce, and then Noah gained custody..or is she just adopted..

I don't know if you mind me doing this but like,

I like to imagine :3.. that Aleheather broke up and Nemma actually got married but divorced so then MK is just like..there. Then boom Noah and Alejandro meet again and they're like "btw did you know in World Tour I loved you" "fr!? Me.me too!" "do you wanna get married" "yea!!!!"

yea. (I may have gotten Raj into the mix..bleh.)

Wow this is incredibly long sorry about that drink water and have a lovely day!!!!!

-⏰

OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY MAY IR MAY HAVE NOT MADE A CHART THAT EXPLAINS THE AU THANKS TO THIS ASK (IN MY EYES) !!

i personally dont like the idea of the women in the respective relationships abandoning the men to let them be gay w each other, esp since so many people that write similar things end up making emma just straight up abandon the family cause of stress. its way too convinient yknow, jst my opinion, and it makes emma look bad (which shes way too awesome) i think she would be very close w the mudaliar-burromuerto family but as a close friend/honorary aunt sorta way.

but your idea of the au is cool! i like it.

this is kinda of like a long answer to your question being like. how did they have mk.....

okay so.

how did they end up together? i inspired myself from a fic that is literally just noah being alejandro's only visitor in the hospital post-WT. they become friendly and, since the burromuerto family sees alejandro as an embarrassment for being too vulnerable and letting himself lose the million dollars in front of many people, leaving him being kicked out, they eventually end up moving together! its kind of a slowburn college romance if im being honest. and once theyre juniors/seniors in college, they end up getting together.

so. hooow do they adopt mk? since its from birth? wouldnt they be super young? EXACTLY

theyre young parents due to alejandro being pressured from his side of the family to at least get a child if he's going to keep being a failure. this hurts ale deeply and he genuinely starts to panic, thinking he should raise a kid as soon as possible. he manages to convince noah that its true baby fever and that they'll be wonderful parents, even though normally "ideal" parents marry and then have children.

they search for a while and eventually come across someone who was thinking of adoption whilst pregnant, and the three of them worked very hard to make it possible. so in 2007, MK is born, and adopted into the mudaliar-burromuerto family. (i do not know SHIT about adoption so i wont make much detail about it)

of course, not being married and having a child was also critizised, so they quickly married around a year or two later. (it took a while to cut the burromuerto family out of his life, but back then ale was very young and very easily manipulated by his family)

so, around 6 years later, they adopt another kid, which was already a year old, but who really didnt have a name. he was dropped off at an orphanage when he was around 6 months old, but he didnt seem to be registrated anywhere. ale n noah, curious, took on the role to foster care this kid and came up w a name for him, which alejandro chose, nicolás. they adopted him soon after

so yeah full story!!! may be susceptible to change!! wahoo!!

[corpseconvulsive]

Hi! My name is August and im here to address the rumors of Toby/Plague, a cosplayer and content creator being a groomer and other accusations made within the last few days

You may recognize my name from other posts made regarding myself and other rumors including the rumor that i am one of the people Toby is grooming, which is devastating in my eyes because never once has Toby acted in a predatory way towards me, he is truly one of the coolest dudes ever.

Why did this rumor start? Its because of one screenshot where i am describing that i am cold and toby makes a joke saying he will “wrap his feet around me” which was obviously a joke, wrapping your whole ass feet around someone is not even humanly possible?

I fully consent to the sexual and darker jokes and fully enjoy them as we use in private in our servers for just ourselves and friends watering our humor down in the Blood of Salvation server, Toby always makes sure to respect a boundary if it is brought to his attention, still TO THIS DAY i am asked at least twice a month sometimes even three times if my boundaries have changed, the only one being to not make fun of me for my weight as it makes me incredibly insecure, Toby has never broken that boundary. If people had an issue with our humor, we have always communicated in the server that they can message a moderator to discuss any issues, no one ever messaged us saying they felt uncomfortable.

I can address that our humor is quite sexual and dark to begin with, however if toby is not personally friends, he controls his humor ESPECIALLY around minors, there have been many occasions where Toby has mentioned he is kind of sick of minors joining the server just because they simp and suck up to him and how gross he feels when people act like that just because the find him hot.

Majority of the jokes made were in a chat where only the moderators and admins can talk which you can choose if you want the channel to be visible or not, all moderators who are close friends talk here, we didnt say many of the screenshots shown to random members although we should have been more careful with what we say as some people are incredibly young.

Also the way this was handled was horrendous, Seirei has a large platform that i stopped following a few months ago, her content was great in my eyes and i completely idolized her because she seemed really cool, however things like calling ticci toby an abuser and other drama that arised has caused me to stop following her. She should have handled it like an adult and talked to everyone mentioned to get both sides as some people involved are minors which is so dangerous seeing how people are being doxxed now, some involved are as young as 14. Seirei’s posts are in my eyes, the reason this stupid situation has gotten to the point people have begun doxxing Toby and others, this in my eyes, is terrible, even for the ones making up these rumors and statements that are being doxed as well. I have no respect for those making up these things about my friend, however i think everyone deserves the right to feel safe in there own home without worrying about there information being leaked and something happening to them.

I have messaged Seirei who said to message her if you have more information or input as it says on her tiktok, explaining that Toby is indeed not a fucking creep towards me, is definetly not grooming me as I know the signs I have been groomed twice in my life for long periods of time such as 2-3 years starting before i was even a teenager, and about screenshots and things said about me in general regarding an old situationship. Seirei has not acknowledged my message along with another friend who has messaged her for a simple question.

Regarding the things with my ex situationship, i do not know why it is being brought up as it was irrelevant to this however all i will say is yes i sent her nudes however she did happen to start sending them first and it was a common thing for us to act sexual with one another, also one of the people who happens to be making accusations about Toby has told me i must not have sexual trauma if i sent nudes to her when I admitted i was a victim of sa and grooming which is a horrible thing to say to any victim to disregard what happened to them, it is not right and vile to do that to any victim no matter what abuse they have trauma and scars from, especially when some have developed hypersexuality from the trauma such as myself.

I would also like to discuss how these people accusing toby are hypocritical as well, they act like they have not done similar things while they have.

Robin, someone who started this mainly from what i know, loves to simp and support Jimmy Urine, who if you dont know who that is, he is a giant pedophile and was the singer of MSI(Mindless Self Indulgence). He has been charged with sexual battery against minors and they fully support this man and call him hot and basically drool all over him.

Virus is a person Toby used to be friends with before i came into the picture, a minor who said sexual shit and has wrote multiple in depth paragraphs about wanting to do sexual things with Toby as a minor before Toby finally kicked him from the server and blocked him entirely due to the shit he was saying. When i became friends with Toby I had heard stories about Virus as the server was still below 100 members(believe i was the 96th member after i messaged Toby asking if he had a server since his discord was on his IG) so the server was a close tight knit group with the moderators and there friends before it was opened for the public. After making it public Virus made MULTIPLE TikTok accounts and Discord accounts to join the server after being banned for his weird actions, how do we know? Because this dude kept posting art in his style, I was one of the people who analyzed the art as I am an artist myself, the eyes, nose, face shape, style, is all the same. He even presented us with a fake tiktok account, it was him in a red curly wig, same background as his other tiktoks. He is obsessed and seems to come back at least once every month or two.

Many others have made r34 of characters which is gross, like i mentioned before told me i couldnt have been sa’d and groomed if i sent nudes, someone tried accusing me that i was an adult talking to my situationship who is a minor despite the fact that my ex situationship was older than me, accused Toby of asking a minor to show him their tits as a joke meanwhile the “minor” i question is our friend Kat who is 23 so definetly a minor, people have called moderators who do there job mean, saying its wrong that we “shit talk” members meanwhile we only “shit talk” members if youre being stupid and we think its a possibility youll break the rules and start shit meanwhile these people accusing toby have servers and gcs on discord made for the purpose of shitting on Toby, myself, and other members of the staff in the crp server, and a bunch of other stuff.

As you can see, the list goes on with how hypocritical these people are, using things out of context to try and get the point across when all they are doing is lying to paint Toby in a bad light, its disgusting how they accuse Toby of being a groomer when this is who happens to be accusing him. Again to the rumor Toby is grooming me, i can fully state that no he is not grooming me, he has never acted romantically in any shape or form with me, he has never acted predatory towards me or any others, I mean if I dont text him, my dms are drier than the sahara desert with that man, hes not one to text first so sometimes i go a day or two without actually speaking to him. I know the signs of being a groomer from experience and research, Toby is not grooming myself or any others and its bullshit that people are accusing him based on messages taken out of context.

Thank you for reading🖤🖤❤️❤️

[itgomyway]

(you)r sp and you ♡

i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail

a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.

FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).

“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.

people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.

you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.

lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.

so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!

and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!

after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.

nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.

lets talk about “free will”.

“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?

your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.

your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?

at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU

© itgomyway

[cator99]

went to a nearby university today since an author whose book I'm reading teaches there and I wanted to ask some questions. wandered until I found something called the deans office and then made a very quick assumption where he might be and asked for directions to that department and the lady there said "oh are you looking for [name], the [job title]? Shes in [room]!" So I just said YES and thanked her and went to [room] where I was just like oh are you [name] and she immediately just said "YES come in!!!" no questions asked she looked bored as fuck and also had the rainbow stuff going on in her room so maybe she was oh what do they call it "enthusiastic about female baldness" but i apologized for intruding and explained that i was directed to you but I'm actually looking to speak to [authors name], and she didnt know who that was, definitely not this department, hmm weird, so we chatted and she looked him up on her computer and asked me about my research which is when I clarified that I'm not a student I just started reading this guy's book last week and realized i happened to be working in the area where he teaches and figured I'd try to speak to him which she thought was super dope so she printed me off a map of the campus and highlighted how to get to him she was really great I wish I hung out with her instead of going to find him and getting shut down hard as fuck the people in his department practically rolled their eyes at me which I absolutely expected but yeah I guess you can just go to universities and talk to faculty so long as they're not also media darlings. So I just been looking up a bunch of people (lesbians. mostly) who do their thing at other universities and have information about things I want to learn about because to be honest I don't really know what school is or life really I just show up places and start asking questions and that seems to be half of the work now the problem is there's this 2 part seminar I really really want to go to about careers in a field of study I'm interested in but its undergraduates only and also invite only but basically I'm thinking of just showing up and acting normal and shaking hands and all of that and by the time they realize I shouldn't be there they'll be like ahh well you're not hurting anyone with your driven curious nature and enthusiasm for learning so sure buddy why dont you stay. I mean how else am I supposed to know if I should sink years of my life into pursuing it? I want to hear the professionals speak to the undergrads and pretend I'm one of their kind so I can really immerse myself in the experience and can from there make an informed decision okay perfect yeah sounds like a plan

[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[choccy-milky]

You don’t have to reply to this, but I just wanted to apologize for the previous ask!! I didn’t mean to slander Sebastian, or to better word it, your own Sebastian that you created (not sure if I’m wording this right lol) in your art/fan fiction. I didn’t mean to imply he was just an overall violent or rude character; I was just trying to poke fun at the run-ins he’s had with Leander & Lawley in your own little oc world. I know those encounters in your writing had plenty of backstory and reasoning behind them, and you didn’t just write him to be someone who outlashes at others unreasonably. I should have expressed myself properly and not just assumed you would automatically read my intention from such little words. It was definitely careless of me since, as someone who’s been admiring your work for a while, I know you’ve had issues here and there with people bashing your work and not understanding the complexity of your story, and my small comment where I said ‘cough violent cough’ definitely could have been thrown into those critiques without me further explaining myself in the previous ask. I’m not sure if I’m being a bit overdramatic by sending you this long apology, but I genuinely felt bad seeing how my joke didn’t land and possibly made you upset. Again, I really appreciate all you do for the fandom, and I’m sorry!

AW I FEEL BAD LMAO, U DIDNT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE💖😭😭it didnt make me upset!! but i am happy for the clarification and that you dont actually think my seb is just super violent for no reason BAHAHA cuz like you said, i guess i got a bit defensive of him cuz of some ppls interpretations of him lately(mainly cuz of the relic). but AGAIN U DIDNT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE! IM GLAD U LIKE MY SEB AND MY FIC AND MY ART, TYY!😭 i guess we're both just overdramatic girlies huh💃💃

jk i changed my mind🤬🤬 seb unleash the violence and protect clora from this anon 🤬🤺🤺 (lmao no but THANK YOU!!)

[animentality]

Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

[mx-darling-1]

Hello! If it's okay, can you please write some headcanons of Wally with a reader who has constant back pain? Thank you, have a nice day and remember to drink water!

Of course! I don't experience it much myself, so I did some research for the chapter! Please let me know if I represent anything wrong!

Wally Darling X GN Reader Back Pain Headcannons

❤️ When you first moved to the neighborhood, your friends quickly noticed your 'predicament'. You would struggle to lift larger objects, being extreamly in pain every time you tried. Their would be times, fairly often, when you would simply be walking and the pain would hit. You supposed that was why Wally took such an interest in you. Wally was by your side at all times, as soon as he noticed any pain he was right there to help you. He got Howdy to order pain meds, and started to get you medication that lessened the pain you were so consistantly in.

🧡Some days were worse then others, you accepted that. Wally on the other hand...he could never accept it. On your worse days, Wallys lays you down on the couch, gets you comfortable and puts on your favorite show. Hes always a bit touchy about you spending time with people other then him. But, whenever you ask him to, he invites all of the neighbors over to spend time with you. Though its important to him that they dont hurt you any worse since you were already in pain.

💛On days your pain is a dull ache, you help the neighbors with different activities. Sometimes youll make costumes with Sally, bake with Poppy, or watch butterflys with Frank. Youve taken notice to the fact that Wally is always keeping an eye on you during these days, although he takes a step back to be less obvious. At first it was definitely a bit odd and caused you slight discomfort, but the longer you stayed in Welcome home, the more you became used to it, after all, it was Wallys way of expressing his concern for you.

💚Youve grown accustomed to Wallys constant concern for you, and you figured that he just cared this much about all his neighbors. So, you decided to test the theory, just by watching his interactions with the others of course. But...he never seemed to be as concerned with any of them and his special attention became very apparent to you. This is when you finally spoke up to him, after all you didnt want to be babied or looked down upon simply because of some pain that youve grown accustom to.

You walked towards Home, asking to be let inside and the door simply opened. By Wallys command, Home was supposed to let you in whenever you asked after all. Quickly you made your way to Wallys room and knocked on the door. "Hey, Wally, we need to talk." You hear his muffled voice through the door, not to sure what he was doing this morning, but he was obviously not asleep. "Of course dear neighbor, come on it." You took a deep breath before opening the door. As his room came into view you could see Wally sitting at his vanity, his hair was still down as he was doing his makeup. "What did you need to talk about neighbor?" Wally turned to you, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

"Well, I wanted to ask why you baby me compared to the other neighbors? I know I experience pain...and thank you so much for trying to help, but it doesnt mean I cant take care of myself or do basic tasks!" Wally quickly looks panicked, waving his hands out in front of him. "No no neighbor! It isnt like that at all! I just dont want you to hurt yourself!" You look at him a little in disbelief. Although you enjoyed the sentiment, you simply werent that incapable. "Eddie is more accident prone then I am!" Wally huffs slightly, struggling to explain his emotions and desperatly not wanting you to be upset with him.

"Eddie is different!" You truly didnt understand why Wally was treating you different, and it hurt your pride, as well as your heart. He was treating you like a child, and you just wanted him to see you as an equal. "How is Eddie any different then me??" Wally looks at a loss for words for only a moment, collecting himself before looking into your eyes. "Because neighbor, he isnt you. You are so precious to me, and I simply wouldnt be able to stand it if you were to get hurt..." You head began to hurt, you simply couldn't understand what Wally was trying to say, and Wally didnt seem to know how to say what he wanted to. Luckily, a few creaks and groans came from Home and Wally spoke up again. "Youre right home!" Walky turns back you, walking over and gently grabbing your hands. "Your pain matters to me, because I love you [Name]."

Hopefully this was okay! I definitely struggled a little, but hopefully its not to noticable! Have an amazing day and remember to drink something!

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

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and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍